Having “the talk” with your parents

Do you remember when your parentssat you down to have “the talk”? At thattime, it was the last thing you wantedto hear and likely included some anxiousmoments and uncomfortable feelings.Well, it could be time to think aboutanother “talk” but, not with your kids –with your parents. Many of us arereluctant to discuss health and financeswith our parents until a crisis occurs.A sudden health issue can reduceestate planning options, as well asincrease costs. That’s why discussionsand pre-planning are so crucial. “Thetalk” can be a difficult and emotionalconversation to have. However, thebenefits of knowing your parents’wishes can be extraordinary.

Having “the talk”If your parents’ health allows it, theyshould be involved in making decisionsabout their living arrangements, levelof care and estate plans. Your role isthat of supporter and informationgatherer. Here are some tips that canmake having “the talk” easier andassist you in finding answers to yourquestions and theirs:

3 Timing is everything–have yourconversation well before acrisis occurs.

3 Consider that your parents may alsobe waiting for an opportunity tohave a discussion about their futurewith you, and you are providing awelcome opening.

3Use ice-breaking strategies such asoffering to help with their estateplanning or seeking their help withyour retirement planning.

3 Keep in mind that your parentswant and need to maintain theirindependence and dignity.

3 Listen, and try to understand theirfears and anxieties.

3Make sure that the conversationfocuses on your parents’ health andwell being and your love andconcern for them.

What to discussOnce you feel comfortable approachingyour parents about having “the talk”,it is important to know what todiscuss. Here are some tips onwhat to talk about:

3 Income – what are your parents’sources of income, and do any con-ditions apply? For example, do theyknow how their monthly incomewill change when one of thempasses on?

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3 Investments – have your parentsdesignated beneficiaries for theirregistered investments and insurancepolicies? If so, who are they?

3 Expenses – what are your parents’expenses and will their income(along with any government aid) besufficient to cover projected home orpersonal care costs that may escalatewith age?

3 Insurance – what types of insurancecoverage do your parents have?Are there any holes that may needto be filled to protect the value oftheir estate?

3Wills – do your parents have up-todate wills? Without a will, unnecessarycosts may be incurred upon theirdeath, there is an increased potentialfor contentious litigation, and thevery real possibility that their estatewon't be distributed as they intended.

3 Executor – have your parentsdesignated a personal representative(sometimes called an executor, orliquidator in Québec) in their wills?This person (or trust company) isresponsible for winding up theiraffairs and distributing assets andbequests in accordance withtheir wills.

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3 Enduring Power of Attorney – haveyour parents given someone thepower to make financial decisions ontheir behalf if either or both of thembecome incapacitated?

3 Living will – (sometimes called a healthdirective) have your parents providedexplicit directions about the personaland medical care they desire shouldthey become incapacitated? Have theyappointed someone to make thesedecisions on their behalf? Have theyconsidered a successor?

Have them show you whereeverything isBe sure you know the location of yourparents’ wills and other legal papers,as well as the location and content oftheir bank accounts and safetydeposit boxes.

There are many financial and estateplanning strategies available to yourparents as they age.We can help sort outthe details and ease the awkwardnessof “the talk”, by bringing an outsideperspective to your discussion.

And, while you’re at it, we can takea look at your own situation. Let'stalk soon.

Written and published by Investors Group as a general source of information only. It is not intended as a solicitation to buy or sell specificinvestments, nor is it intended to provide tax, legal or investment advice. Readers should seek advice on their specific circumstances froman Investors Group Consultant.

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“Having “the talk” with your parents” © Investors Group Inc. 2012 MP1359 (06/2012)