the ten worst excuses for being late for work
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Late again for the Nth time this month and have run out of excuses? Read on. see original article: http://www.theofficesuppliessupermarket.com/articles/the-ten-worst-excuses-for-being-late-for-workTRANSCRIPT
The ten worst excuses for being late for work
For some bizarre reason, many people don’t like going to work. Odd, isn’t it? Yep, people can get tired of the nine to five, the travel, the waiting for the bus and it just becomes a chore.
From when the alarm goes off to when they finally make it to their desk, it’s like walking through treacle.
Well, although we could never condone their usage, we had a bit of a survey in the office and came up with ten excuses for being late that we reckon sound a little too weird to be made up.
Think you could get away with it?
1) The bus was on fire
Really? A bus fire? Could that actually happen? Well of course it could but the problem with this excuse is that it can be easily verified. If your bosses had anything about them at all, they’d be on to the local bus company in a flash to check out the validity.
Or, they could just put the radio on, you can bet that an event like this would be on the news fairly soon after it happened.
Figure 1 - Meh, maybe it's not so rare?
2) Witnessed a robbery
This is another one that’s going to attract the news. If you have the gall to come up with an excuse like this then you’re probably going to have to also cause the robbery.
Let’s face it, if you were called upon to give evidence then you’re going to have a crime number a date for the day in court and probably a prime spot on local TV.
It’s not unheard of though.
Figure 2 - Could happen.
3) Microwave exploded
This is a tough one. Microwaves are safe, really safe. When they first came out there was a worry that the radiation would eventually turn us into zombies, which was bad considering all we wanted was warm soup, but trust us, they’re safe. However, we all know that you shouldn’t put metal in the microwave and if you so, it’ll explode, yes?
No.Metal has a tough time exploding in a microwave and it certainly won’t make the microwave itself go boom, although it could damage it (so, y’know, don’t do it). However some fruit can go splat and grapes are particularly good.Not really a good excuse to be late though us it?
4) In Accident & Emergency
OK, this could be true – how could your boss prove otherwise?
Thing is, if you’re in A&E then it’s because you’ve done something to yourself to warrant it so you may be expected to show the scar.
Of course, some crazy things have put some people in hospital, I’ll let you Google them though, we really can’t go into the details of most of them without gagging.
5) Neighbour died
We’re starting to get to more plausible excuses now.
As everyone knows, all of our neighbours are really old. They all are. Every winter we go and knock on the door to check they’re OK, doing our duty and all that and we know that if a bad smell is coming from the house then it might not be the drains.
So this one we can probably get away with. Maybe once. And then only if your boss doesn’t live around the corner. Or in fact, none of your co-workers knows your area or drives/buses/walks past your house.
Let’s face it, if you live somewhere really remote and you can be sure that nobody knows just where your house is and, just to be sure, you’re about to move, then you can probably get away with this excuse. In the winter. Once.
6) Lost car keys
This one’s easy. If you really want to make it authentic then why not simply drop your car keys down a drain or something?
According to carshop.co.uk, a quarter of drivers lose their keys at some time so you won’t be in that much of a minority if you do it.
7) Took injured person to hospital
Now, there’s a way of doing this right. If you have a friend that is up for a bit of “late work excuse” shenanigans then you can mix this up with item 4.
One of you is admitted to hospital, the other one has to go to, I dunno, keep the doors open or park the car or something.
Hospitals are traumatic people. By their very nature they cater for people who are extremely sick and that can be traumatic.
Whoever’s going will need a friend. If that’s Amanda from accounts, then great, you can corroborate each other’s story.
8) Emergency root canal
Easy peasy. Root canal work is nasty, nasty stuff. A few years ago this happened to me. For a day I was feeling a numb pain in my tooth and then I woke up one morning wishing I was still asleep.
A trip to the dentist soon had be sorted though, well, after I’d had the tooth ripped out along with the roots and then replace, dead with a crown on top. Lovely.
9) Flat battery
This one works really well because you can just say you called The AA to come and fix it.
Simple! Of course, as with the death of a neighbour one above, if work colleagues happen to walk past your house on the way to work then you could be rumbled.
10) Alarm clock broke
This is the best one of all because if you have an alarm clock that you don’t particularly like, you could knock it off the sideboard and destroy it yourself. There you go, broken alarm clock.
Thing is, with Christmas coming up you might find that secret Santa gets you one to replace it, so you can say good bye to the excuse in the future!
