the thing with things: emotional attachment to things
DESCRIPTION
Overcoming emotional attachments to our belongings to get organized.TRANSCRIPT
The Thing With ThingsWeek 2 – Emotional Attachments to
Things
Instructor:Jennifer Snyder, CPO
Neat as a Pin Organizing Experts
The Thing with Clutter
Clutter
Is
Like
Falling
Snowflakes
The Things They Sell Us
The Things They Sell Us• Things are easy to obtain – like
online• Things are about power – like a lawnmower• Things are about belonging – like a herd• Things are about identity – they define who we are• Things are about dreams – like a hobbyist• Things are about perfection – like a perfect image
MARKETERS APPEAL TO THESE HUMAN DESIRES
Things & Love
No mere thing will ever love you back.
Things & Happiness The people who get the most joy out of their belongings are not necessarily those with the most Things.
Things & Fear Fear of damage
Fear of loss
Fear of what it represents
Fear of the volume
Fear of lack
Things & Anger When you think you are angry at an object, you are actually angry with the person it represents.
Anger is a cover for shame, fear, or frustration.
Things & Sadness New or insufficiently resolved grief is one of the primary reasons people hang on to excess things.
Things & FatigueThe challenge is not to get caught up in horriblizing and self blaming and instead to keep doing what you can.
Types of Emotional Clutter
Guilt ClutterGifts
Heirlooms
Exercise Equipment
Impulse Buys
“Useful” Gadgets
Guilt ClutterOccurs items are purchased, received, or inherited and not liked or wanted
Occurs when you pay a lot of money for something yet don’t use it. You keep
it because it was such a large “investment”
Unhappiness Clutter can quickly turn into Guilt Clutter when you realize a few days later that you do not really need the item or was an unwise use of
financial resources.
Guilt Clutter SolutionsConscious Sharing
Re-Gifting
Learn how to say “No, Thank You”
Understand the true carrying cost of clutter
Re-Gifting GuidelinesUse only Brand New Things
Never re-gift handmade itemsDesignate a place for Giftables complete with Post-It notes and
Sharpee marker. Note who gave it to you and when
Only re-use PRISTINE gift bagsNEVER-EVER re-use tissue paper or
gift wrap
Just in Case ClutterCoupons
Wrong-Size Clothing
Unnecessary Electronics
Pet Supplies
Old Medications
Excess Office Supplies
Just in Case ClutterYou keep things JUST IN CASE!
Could be for any reason…Possible giftFuture craft
Future home improvementPossible national emergency
Just in Case Clutter SolutionsMany items are more economical to buy replacements
Live for today…not what might happen in the future
The energy of abundance means things are constantly coming in and out of
your life. Once you stop the outward flow, you
stop the flow of abundance.
Unhappiness Clutter Bilia from previous romantic relationships
Souvenirs from unpleasant trips
Items from disintegrated friendships.
Unhappiness ClutterHanging onto items from past unhappy
times
These items keep you locked in that same place of unrest and prevents
new relationships and events filling that space
Buying “stuff” to make you happy is a quick fix solution without long
term results.
Unhappiness Clutter SolutionsEmotional Closure
Removing from your space
Replace/Repurpose with loving meanings
Things hold energy and can bring negativity into our space simply by
being present.
Depression ClutterPiles of stuff all over
Purchases never removed from shopping bags
Lack of housekeeping around clutter
Random items scattered everywhere
Depression ClutterWhen depressed, we tend to keep more things because we simply do not want
to make a decision
People with depression tend to keep things on the floor
Stuff on the floor pulls your energy downward and encourages emotional
withdrawal.
Depression Clutter SolutionsWhen depressed, we tend to keep more
things because we simply do not want to make a decision.
People with depression tend to keep things on the floor.
Stuff on the floor pulls your energy downward and encourages emotional
withdrawal.
Addiction ClutterAccumulates large amounts of credit card debt.
Clutter consists of new items.
Loses time shopping
Retail Therapy
Addiction ClutterCompulsive buying just for the sake of shopping and bargains without any
thought or intentional purposes simply adds to the congestion and
confusion already filling your space and life.
Chemical addictions also take a ravaging toll on spaces and finances as mentioned in depression clutter.
Addiction Clutter SolutionsThe one-in-one-out theory or one-in-
two-out theory depending on the space currently allowed compared to
volume.
Intervention and/or Therapy
Shop with an accountability buddy and practice Conscious Sharing
Need to Impress ClutterClothing
Home Decorations
Jewelry
Hobby supplies
Need To Impress ClutterYou feel your self worth is
reflected by the appearance and value of your living space and
possessions
You may not even like such possessions but they are the best, most popular, or most expensive.
You feel that if people like your stuff then they will like you.
Need To Impress Clutter SolutionsIdentify what truly make you feel happy, valued, safe, and peaceful.
Remember: what others think of you is none of your business.
Everything in your space should bring YOU joy. Showcase those
items.
Hiding Behind ClutterPiles
Magazines
Clothes
Books
Papers
Trash
Deliberate
Hiding Behind ClutterPeople often overcrowd their homes with so much stuff that it is used
as a type of shield to hide themselves from the world.
This serves as a tactic to keep attention directed away from the Clutterer and more focused on the
clutter.
Hiding Behind Clutter SolutionsTherapy
Begin assigning homes to the things in the space. It is best to work
with a PO to do this.
Move all of the clutter to an out-of-the-way area where the door can be closed leaving only a clean space. The clutter is still present, only out of sight.
Denial ClutterYou tell yourself you like everything.
You justify the reason for the clutter.
Overlooking clutter of a family member.
Denial ClutterYou refuse to believe you actually
have clutter.
You continue to acquire things yet make no connection to the fact that
its clutter.
Denial Clutterers are often afraid of change and believe their worlds will fall apart if they remove
anything from their home.
Denial Clutter SolutionsSee your clutter for what it is…
clutter
Enlist the help of someone who is not emotionally connected to the
space
Take it one type of item at a time…green items, clothes, dishes, etc.
Things Defined
The Four TsTOYS High Emotion, High Function
TREASURES High Emotion, Low Function
TOOLS Low Emotion, High Function
TRASH Low Emotion, Low Function
Toys: High Emotion, High Function
Computer
Television
Smart Phone
Camera
Car
iPad
Purse
Swiss Chop Chop
Treasures: High Emotion, Low Function
Photographs
Figurines & Collectibles
Heirlooms
Unused gifts
Memorabilia
Items saving for a special occasion
Tools: Low Emotion, High Function
Microwave Oven
Curling Iron
Keys
Printer / Scanner
Vacuum Cleaner
Coffee Maker
Trash: Low Emotion, Low Function
Unwanted Gifts
Ill-fitting clothing
Spoon that fell in the disposal
Flat pillow
Scratchy blanket
Can We Organize Emotions?
Since we have relationships with our
things…FRIENDCurrently serves you well and
feels good.
ACQUAINTANCENew to your life and the
relationship has yet to be clearly established
Since we have relationships with our
things…FORMER FRIENDOnce loved and made you feel
great although that has changed
ENEMYDoesn’t feel good at all!
Causes pain, stress or general discomfort
You Have to Start Somewhere
Getting StartedIt is impossible to organize clutterYou are going to make a bigger mess
in the processDo not buy anything yet!
Pick a charity that matters to you
Remove trash
Charities I RecommendFamily Abuse Center – Donations go to Second Chance Thrift Store
Salvation Army – Donations go to store on Waco Drive
Advocacy Center for Crime Victims & Children
Pick a Place…Any PlaceRemove the trash
Sort into the most general categories possible
DonateGive to friend or family memberNeeds a new home (at your home)Not sure
This is not the time to sort papers.
Sort with a Vengeance!
If you want to keep something, ask
Yourself…1. Does this belong here?2. If not, where would I look for it
should I need?3. Does it make me happy?4. What type of “T” is it?5. Will I use it?6. Will I REALLY use it?
Does It Make You Happy?
Everything in your space should bring you joy on some level
Often “sentimental items” have an emotional connection that is
negative. Negative sentiment cannot bring us joy.
Organized is Subjective “Organized” looks different to each unique person.
Identify what “organized” means to you.
HomeworkDo Something…anything that brings you one step closer to being more
organized Take time for yourself to do
something you enjoy, guilt freeRemember, this is a growth process that may be uncomfortable at times but the rewards will far outweigh
the discomfort. I PROMISE!