THERAPISTS GIVING AND RECEIVING GIFTS DURING THE HOLIDAYS

We are in a season of holiday celebration and gift giving. For us, as therapists, the season also provides

the opportunity to consider the issues and benefits of giving and receiving gifts as an integral aspect of

psychotherapy and counseling.

Last week, a Hispanic client gave me homemade tamales as a holiday gift, a winemaker gave me a bottle

of his pride vintage wine, and parents of a teenager-client sent me a CD of the music the family recorded

for the holidays.

This week I gave a Jewish client a Chanukah card, a Christian client, who is anxious, a rock from my office

rock collection brought from Jerusalem, and the Power of Now CD for a client who is struggling with

anxiety.

Giving gifts around the holidays is very common. This is addressed in our online course:

Gifts in Psychotherapy: Ethical and Clinical Considerations

(2 CE Credits)

Following is a re-cap of the essential issues surrounding gifts in therapy:

Giving a gift is an ancient and universal way to express gratitude, appreciation, altruism, and love.

Appropriate gifts in therapy are ethical and enhance authentic therapeutic relationships, which is the

best predictor of therapeutic outcome.

Rejecting clients' clinically appropriate gifts is likely to be perceived as personal rejection, or even as

insult, and may harm the therapeutic alliance or end therapy.

A standard "no gifts policy" does not resolve the negative impact on a client, who is likely to experience

it as rejection or insult.

There are several types of gifts in psychotherapy:

Gifts from clients to therapists

Gifts from therapists to clients

Gifts from clients' families

Gifts in therapy can be symbolic (e.g., a poem or card) or concrete (e.g., a CD or book).

The meaning of gifts can be only understood within the context of therapy.

Gifts can be appropriate or inappropriate in regard to their type, monetary value, timing, content, intent

of the giver, perception of the receiver, and their effect on the giver or the receiver.

Most often clinically and ethically appropriate gifts from clients, given around the holidays, other special

occasions, or at termination, are rather inexpensive.

Symbolic and appropriate gifts from children to therapists or therapists to children are very common

and clinically appropriate.

Therapists do not need to always explore the meaning of the gifts with clients. Sometimes just a simple

"thank you so much" is sufficient.

Sometimes very inexpensive gifts can be inappropriate, such as those with sexually or racially offensive

connotations.

Gifts in therapy can be:

An expression of appreciation and gratitude

A way to enhance or cement a bond

Level the playing field between therapists and clients

A way to "buy" love

A way to counteract negative feeling (e.g., given to therapist after a disagreement)

Used to create indebtedness or manipulation

Appropriate therapists' gifts to clients may include:

A symbolic gift (e.g., a card that has meaning to the client)

A gift that serves as a transitional object (e.g., a rock from the office rock collection)

A clinical aid (e.g., a note from the therapist with a specific saying, as a way to help a client who is

dealing with anxiety)

Therapy-related educational materials (e.g., a CD on mood swings for a bi-polar patient)

Following social convention by giving an affirming or acknowledging gift (e.g., a small or symbolic

graduation or wedding gift)

A supportive, reassuring gift (e.g., giving a flashlight to a child-patient who is going on his first overnight

camping trip)

An affirmation of the relationship (e.g., a small/symbolic souvenir from a trip abroad)

Clinically appropriate gift giving is ethical and clearly falls within the standard of care.

Understanding the meaning of gifts in therapy requires a look at the context of therapy and special

attention to the client's culture, timing of the gifts, client's history, patterns in regard to gifts, and the

nature of the therapeutic relationship.

Cultural aspects of gift giving must always be taken into consideration.

While therapists should pay attention to the meaning of clients' gifts, they must handle interpretation

with clinical sensitivity. They must weigh the benefit of interpretation (rather than a simple "thank you")

against the clients' potential feelings of rejection, shame or insult.

Timing of gifts is important. While an appropriate present at termination is common, a present at the

very beginning of therapy may need more careful examination. A gift following a confrontation or a

difficult session may also invite exploration or discussion of its meaning.

Wealthy clients are most often aware of the significant impact of their wealth on other people and,

therefore, therapists should be careful when dealing with expensive or inexpensive gifts from wealthy

clients.

Excessive gifts, gifts by a client who has a history of buying love through gifts, gifts by a borderline

patient who regularly oscillates between love and hate, should not be accepted uncritically.

Examples of unethical and clinically inappropriate gifts include:

Gifts that are given in response to a referral of new clients

Stock market investment tips

Financial loans are most often unethical as they are likely to result in conflicts of interest

None of the ethics codes declares all gift exchange as unethical.

Therapists should consult with experts when they receive gifts in a client's will upon the death of the

client.

Document all gift exchanges in the clinical records. If possible, greeting cards, paintings, poems, etc.

should be part of the clinical records.

Document all gift exchanges in therapy. Articulate, briefly, who gave the gift, exactly what the gift was,

what the response to the gift was, and any related discussions with the client. When appropriate, add a

clinical note in regard to your thoughts and interpretation of the meaning of the gift.

Consult in complex cases and document the consultation in the clinical notes.

Online Course on Gifts in Therapy

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