Presents

ThirdCircleTheory

PurposeThroughObservationCopyright©2013bySecretEntourage

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FormymomShahla

Awomanwhoneverputherselffirst

Thankyouforshowingmeadifferentworld.

Preface

Whatisitthatmakescertainindividualssomuchmorecapablethanothers?Whatisitthatallowsinnovationandadvancementintheworldtotakeplace?Whoarethosepeoplewhoholdthatcapacityandwhycantheycreatethechangeweallknowisneeded?Whyaretheseindividualsalwaysfullofenergy,andyetothersjustalwaysfeelknockedout?

Inmy30yearsoflife,Ihavewitnessedsomeprettyamazingthings.Ihaveseenpeoplewhohavelosteverythingbeinspiredbyapicturedrawnonanapkin,andasaresult,climbbacktotheverytopagainstallodds.IhavewitnessedimmigrantswhobarelyspokeEnglishrisetoexecutivepositionswithinthesystemandearnsix-figureincomesinlessthanfouryears,onlybecausesomeonetookachanceonthem.ButnothingIhaveseenismoreamazingtomethanthepowerofthehumanmindanditsevolutionwhengivenapurpose.

Iamnopsychologistandcertainlynotascientist.Iknownothingofbiology,andquitefrankly,didverypoorlyonhighschoolreportcards.Afterjusttwoyearsincollege,Idroppedoutduetocompleteboredom—despitebeingonlyonecourseawayfromfinishingmyAssociate’sdegree.Manywilltellyouthatforegoingcollegeisahugemistake,butthroughoutthisbook,youwillunderstandwhyeducationheldnorelevanceinmylife.

IcouldstarttellingyouallaboutmylifestyleorthepossessionsIaccumulatedandhowallthatshouldmakeyoubuyintothebookitself.ButifIdid,thatbyitselfwouldgoagainsttheessenceofthisbook’simportantmessage.WhatIwilltellyou,however,isthatthelifestyleIlivetodayistheexactoneIwanttobeliving,nottheonemyinitialcircumstancehadintendedforme.ThepossessionsIhavetodayarenotagoodrepresentationofhowIwishtoberememberedandcertainlyholdverylittlerelevancetowhoIhavebecome.

Whatdidmaintainrelevanceinmylifewasagroupofpeoplewhoallplayedasignificantroleastheyenteredandexitedmylifeatdifferentstages.Peoplewhoheldnoconnectiontooneotherexceptthattheywereallconnectedthroughme.Individualswhohelpedopenandbroadenmyviewsandvisiontotherealityofwhattheworldis.Theyhelpedshapemylifeintowhatitistoday.

Whenthingsinfrontofyouchangeandyoustartseeingmorethanothers,youwillquestionwhyyouaregiventhatabilityandwhatitcanallmean.Itsparks

yourphilosophicalperspectiveanddrivesyoutothinkofapowerfulword,“Purpose”,andtoconsiderwhatyourveryownis.

Forme,theconceptofpurposecameearlierthanformost.Asananalyticalandphilosophicalperson,IwasnaturallymotivatedtoattempttounderstandhowandwhyIwasprivilegedenoughtohavefoundmypurpose.Thisself-explorationenabledmetoeventuallyconceiveanddevelopthe“ThirdCircleTheory”,aprincipleofhowonepersoncanpreparethemselvestofindtheirownpurpose.

Findingyourpurposeisextremelyimportantforyourselfandallofthosearoundyou.Purposefulindividualsaremotivated,oftenmoreactiveinsociety,andmostimportantly,aninspirationtothosearoundthem.Thecoreofwhatadvancesthisworldarethoseextraordinarypeoplewhoseeitforwhatitcanbe,ratherthanwhatitpresentlyis.Whentheseessential,purposefulindividualsidentifywheretheyfitinsociety,theycanhelpshapetheworldtomimictheirvisionofit.Purposeisultimatelythecatalyticenergyweneedtoseeourvisionandideascometolife.Itisthefueloflifeandholdsthekeytofulfillmentwellabovethatofmoney.Eventhoughyourpurposecannoteverbeproventohavebeenrightorwrong,thepowerfulenergythatemitsfromsomeonewiththebeliefthattheyhavefounditistheextraordinaryfeelingthattheThirdCircleTheoryhelpsyoureach.

Asyoureadthisbook,keepinmindthatmygoalistochallengeyourperspective,notyourjudgment.Thereisnorightorwronghere,butratheronlytwodifferentwaystolookattheexactsamething.Regardlessofyourabilitytoadaptimmediatelytothisnewwayofdiscoveringyourself,justtheideathatyouarenowawareofthisalternativeviewpointwillsimplyopenyourmindtoanewfrontier,becauseperspectiveisultimatelyderivedfromyourknowledgeandbeliefs(values).

TableofContents

ThePowerofDiscovery

WhyDoYouExist?FaithversusOpportunityHowtheThirdCircleTheoryWillHelpYouWhytheThirdCircleTheoryWasCreatedThirdCircleTheoryIntroduction

TheFirstCircle:TheBirth,TheSettler,&TheDreamer

TheSecondCircle:TheAwakening,TheLeader,&TheAchiever

TheThirdCircle:TheVision,ThePurpose,&TheRebirthProgressionofTheMind

TheFirstCircleEnvironmentBeliefChoiceFearConfidenceGoalsEntourageTime

TheSecondCircleEducationMoneyHabitsEmotionLeadershipPerception

TheThirdCircleLifestyleVisionEntrepreneurLegacy

ASelflessFinalActHowitAppliesintheRealWorldWhytheSelfHelpIndustryWon’tWorkHowFulfillmentandPurposeareDifferentUnderstandingYourValueExplainingLife’sSpiderWebTheEntrapmentofSocietyTheRoleofEducationTheRoleofGovernmentTheRoleofCorporateAmericaBreakYourComfortZonebyCreatingChangeLivingfortheExperienceofLifeItself

TheBirthofPurpose

TheBirthofanIdea

FinalWordsAboutTheAuthorAcknowledgements

ThePowerofDiscovery

Theselfhelpindustryhaschangedsignificantlyoverthepastfewdecades.Somuchofitsfocusisbasedoneducatingyouonhowtomakemoney.Inturn,those“gurus”makelargeprofits.TheThirdCircleTheorywascreatedinsteadtoelevateyourunderstandingofpurposeandhelpyoufindyourselfthroughhelpingothers.Itisultimatelythebestguidetohelpyounotonlydefineyourexistence,butalsounderstandthetruevalueofthepeoplearoundyouwhenfactoredintotheequationofasuccessfullife.

Whenyouthinkofsuccesstoday,youmightneglecttoconsiderthesuccessofthosearoundyou.Instead,youthinkabouthowyoursuccesslooksrightnowandwhatitcanlooklikeonceyouhaveaccomplishedeverythingyouneed.Afteryouhaveexploredthisnewwaytolookatlifethroughthisbook,youwillbeabletounderstandhowimpactfulyourobservationsoflifeareinthecontextofyourgrowth.Youwillalsorealizehowtopullawayfromthemoney-chasingratrace.Instead,youwillseeanewelementtosuccessthatdefinesthedifferencebetweenthosewhobecomeinnovators,creators,andicons,versusthosewhojustkeepmakingmoremoneywithoutpurpose.

HaveyoueverwonderedwhysomebusinesseslikeApplehavebecomesoimmenseandcreatedsomuchbuzzwhileotherslikeSonysimplymakemoney?Haveyoutriedtofigureoutwherecertainpeoplefindthemuch-neededstrengthtoseetheircreationsbecomegamechangersforsociety?Ifso,thentheThirdCircleTheorywillelevateyourawarenessofthereasoningandunlockthemysterybehindhowsomeofusbecomevisionarieswhileothersdon’t.

UnderstandinghowtheThirdCircleTheoryworkswillhelpyouunderstandwhyMichaelJordan,SteveJobs,WaltDisney,andThomasEdisonwillberememberedforever,whilethefoundersofCitigroup,Exxon,andtheowneroftheChicagoBullsbasketballteamwillnotbe.Asyouexplorethedepthsofeachcircle,youwillsearchwithinyourownlifeandidentifywhyyouhavebeensuccessfulsofar—orwhynot—andgrowevenfurtherasaresultofyourunderstanding,orcomprehendtheobstaclesthathavekeptyoufromlivingyourlifetoyourgreatestpotential.

NowIneedtowarnyouthatthisbook’sintentionisnottochangeyou,buttoempoweryoutomakechange.Mygoalistoinspireyoutoself-reflectandcreate

theself-awarenessyouneedtoknowwhyyouarewhoandwhatyouaretoday.TheremaybesectionsthatwillevokeemotionsandyoumightdisagreewithwhatIsay.Therewillalsobetimeswhenyoumaywanttostopreadingbecauseyourlong-heldvalues,beliefs,orperspectivesmaybequestioned.Self-realizationcanbeablessingoracurse,butitisultimatelyinyourownbestinteresttoseeyourtrueimageandhowothersseeyouinthatverysamemirror.Sincethisbookishighlyfocusedontheimportanceofunderstandingothers,thenitisonlyreasonablethatyouneedtoidentifyhowothersseeyouandwhy.AsImentionedearlier,thereisnorightorwronghere,butratheronlyperspectiveandinformationthatovertimewillgrowwithinyourmindandheightenyourawarenesstothingsthatperhapsyouhavenotyetrecognized.

ByinvestinginreadingtheThirdCircleTheory,youwilllearntotweakyourperspectivetounderstandothers.Youwillexperiencetherewardofbeingabletodefineyourselfthroughtheobservationsofothers.Moreimportantly,youwillunderstandthecriticalvalueofreleasingtheself-centricapproachyouhavebeenaccustomedtoandinsteadmovetowardsalevelofselflessnessthatyoumaynotknowexistedwithinyourself.

TheThirdCircleTheorywilltakeyouonatransformationaljourneythatwillopenyourmindandyourhearttoavastworldofopportunity.Whenyouarepreparedtomoveforwardwiththequesttowardgreatersuccessandamorefulfilledlife,turnthepage.

WhyDoYouExist?

Thisquestionisoftenleftunanswered,asitsmeaningcanbeinterpretedinaboutathousandways,yetnoneasconclusiveaswewouldlike.Thereasonforsomeone’sexistencecanbelinkedtofaith,belief,circumstance,andnothingmorethandestiny.So,whydoweexistandwhyareweallsodifferentfromoneanother?Whatmakessomeofusmorecapablethanothers?Whydosomeofusexcelatsomethingwhileothersaresomuchbetterinotherways?Allofthesearevalidandpowerfulquestions,butnoneareasrelevantaswhyweexist.

Wemustallplayaroleinabiggerpicture,butwhat?IsGodtestingyou?Orperhapsfaithhasyouleftwiththebeliefthatprocreationistheultimatewaytoleavealegacybehindandcreateasenseofpurposeforyourself.Wedo,afterall,hearmanymothersandfatherssaying,“Ilivethroughmychildren”or“IwishforyoutohavewhatIneverhad”.

Maybelifeisnotascomplicatedaswemakeitouttobe.Maybeit’sjustaboutmakingalotofmoneyandlivinghappy,butdespitealltheseuncertainties,certainconceptsarefactualandnotphilosophicalatall,suchasbeinginfluencedbyyourenvironment.Eachofusatsomepointoranotherisaby-productofourenvironmentandallofus,nomatterhowhardwework,areasumofouractions.Atsomepoint,wehavefeltemotionsandexperiencedfear.Thesearefacts,andregardlessofhowmuchimpacttheyimpartedonyourlife,theyareexperienceswemustgothroughinordertoevolve.

Theseactionscanallbelinked,explained,andanswered.Asaresult,wecanidentifythereasonswhycertainpeoplearesomuchmoresuccessfulthanothers.Whydosomeachievethehighestleveloffulfillmentwhilesomanyothersfindthemselveslostintoanendlesscyclewherelifejustneverseemstocutthemabreak(orsotheybelieve).Doesthissoundfamiliar?Whereareyouinthespectrum?

This“break”orhelpyouseek,stemsfromnothingmorethanyourinabilitytodealwiththesituationyouareinrightnow.Youlacktheacceptancethatyourlifereallyholdsnoweightorimportance—atleast,notyet.

Ifweacceptthatallsuccessfulindividualssharecertaintraits,wecanconcludethatsomeskillsetorprocessexiststhatdeliversahigherrateofsuccess.Wecanalsoconcludethatalthoughhighlysuccessfulindividualsmaynotbeconnected

tooneanother,theysharemoreincommonthanmost.

Theseindividualssharesimilarexperiencesandviewpointstowardssocietythatenablethemtoseeandimplementinnovativewaystochangetheirworld.Theyconnectthedotsmorequicklyandcanenvisionthegrandschemeofthings,notjustthenarrowviewofwhattheyareshown.Thesevisionariespossesspassion,determination,andthestrongbeliefthattheirlife’spurposeistobringtheseinnovationstolife.Therefore,theylivealifedevotedtobuildingontheirideasorprojectssotheywilleventuallychangetheworldastheyseefit.

Whatisitthatmakesthemsospecial?Whycantheydothingsthatyoucan’t?Andlastly,didthisoutcomehaveanythingtodowithdestiny?Aresomeofusdestinedtobemoresuccessfulthanothers?Areweheretochangehumanityortosimplymaintainit?Whodecidesallthesethings?

FaithversusOpportunity

Thediscussionofthesequestionstakesustothefaithversusopportunitydebate,whichyoucanargueforever.Butitdoesn’tjusttakereligiousbelieftosometimesconcedethat“itwasn’tmeanttobe”.It’softentruethatyoulookforagreaterreasonforthingstohappen(ornot).Youmightblamemissinganemploymentopportunityorabighitonthebeliefthatitmustnothavebeentherightdealorjustwasn’tyourtimeforit.Itisdifficulttoactuallyacceptthefactthatperhapsyouweren’tgoodenoughornotsuitablypreparedforit.

Thesamecanbesaidaboutopportunitiesthatyoursuccessfulidolsandrolemodelstookintheirlives.Wasittheirtimetoshinewhenallthestarswerealigned?Orwasthereagreaterpoweratwork,likedestinyorfaith?Maybeitwasevensimplerthanthat—itwasnothingmorecomplicatedthanhardwork.

Whatmadetheiropportunitiesmorevaluablethanyours?

Thoseindividuals,however,donotdismissopportunities.Theyarepreparedforthem,whileyou,ontheotherhand,donotrealizethatyoucanactuallyhavemoreawarenessofyoursurroundings.Instead,yougiveupandblamefaith.

“Opportunitieslieallaroundus,fromthelifetimeopportunitiesweencountereverydaybymeetingnewpeopleandlearningfromthem,tonewdirectionswecantakeourlives.Theseopportunitiesappearinfrontofuseachandeveryminutethatweexist,andinmostcaseswemissmostofthembecausewearenotlookingforthem,andmostlikelydismissthem.”

Theeasiestwaytoputthisinperspectiveistothinkofanoccasionwhenyouwantedsomething,suchasacertainbrandofcar,forexample.Asaresultof

wantingit,yourfocusalertsyoursensestoidentifyiteachandeverytimeyouseeit,givingyouthatfeelingthatyoucannowidentifywithitmorethanyoudidbefore.Thesamegoesforotherthingslikethelatestelectronicsordesignerclothes.Opportunitiesarealsoincludedinthatmix,butthedifferenceisyouactuallyhavetoknowwhatspecificopportunitiesyouarelookingfor.Inmostcases,youhaven’tyetdefinedthosetargets.Howcanyouaimforsomethingwhenyoudon’tknowwhatorwhereitis?

Awarenesshasalottodowithseeingtherightopportunities.Seizingthatopportunityistheotherhalfoftheequation.Grabbingholdreliesheavilyonyourunderstandingoftheopportunity,butyoualsohavetobereadytotakeactionwhenyouencounterit.

Readinesscanalsobetrickywhenyouaren’tclearaboutwhatyouareseeking.Ifyoucan'tconnectwithagoldenopportunitywhenitarises,youmightmissyourchance.Youcanblameitonlackoffaithorsomeotherfactor,butperhapsyoushouldlookmoreclosely.Wasitreallyfaithoryourlackoffaithinyourselfthatlettheopportunitypassyouby?

Successcanbedefinedashardworkmeetsopportunity,but“opportunity”isaverybroadword.Evenwherehardworkexists,opportunitymayseemlikeitneverappeared.Inreality,youdidn’tknowwhattolookfor.Ifyouarenotprepared,theactionorlackofactionmightappearasthoughyoulackconfidenceorabilitytogetthejobdone.Sothatopportunityispresentedtothepeoplethatyoubelievehadthelucktobeblessedwithfaithorbelief—andthat’swhyyouthinktheysucceeded.

Intruth,theirpurposewasn’trevealedtothemthroughfaithorevenadream,andcertainlytheirvisiondidn’tcometothembyabiblicalfigure.Itwasnothingmorethanacombinationoftheirpastexperiences,amplifiedbytheirabilitytoseefurtheranddeeperthanothers,whichalsocamefromtheirhardworkandbeliefinthemselves.

Howdoesconfidenceplayaroleinfindingpurpose?Confidenceisaccumulatedthroughexperiencesyougothroughovertheyears,andcertainlyisaveryimportantpartoffindingyourpurpose.Ifyoulackconfidence,youprobablywon’tdiscoverthepowertoidentifywhyyouexist.Doubtandpurposehavenorelationinthisequation.

Let’sbeclearhere.Don’tconfuseconfidencewitharrogance.Yes,theyareahair-line’sdistanceapart,buttheyarestilltwodistinctattitudesandtraitsthatdifferentiateyourabilities.

Confidenceisself-beliefbasedontenureortrackrecord,whichultimatelyisthebrain’swayofself-acknowledgmentinafieldorperhapsofaskillset.

Arroganceontheotherhandisahighlymanipulativetraitwhereapersonbelieveshimselftobesuperiortoothers,butwithoutanyrealmeritoraccomplishmentstosupportit.

Despitebeingsimilartothemassesoutthere,thetwotraitsarecertainlyverydifferentandcertainlynotmistakenbyhighlyconfidentindividuals.Onlythoseindividualswholackself-confidencewillmistakethetwo.Asaresult,theycallconfidentpeople“cocky”,“arrogant”,or“stuckup”.Trueconfidence,however,isverymuchneededinordertoinitiatethehardworkthatisbasedonvision,whichultimatelyallowsyourpurposetomanifestitself.Moreimportantlyaswewilldiscusslater,confidenceoriginatesfromexperiencesandthereforeismuchmorerelatedtopurposethanyoucurrentlythinktoday.Fornow,simplyunderstandthatwithoutconfidence,you’reunlikelytoidentifyorrealizewhatyourlife’spurposeis.

Whencanyouidentifyyourlife’spurpose?Yourviewoftheworldcertainlychangeswithtime,age,andyourexperiences.Weareultimatelytheby-productsofourenvironments(Iwilllaterprovetoyouwhythatisverytruenomatterwhatyourcurrentpointofviewis).

Theseenvironments—whichareeverchangingandbasedonyourdecisions—evokeanewsideorskillsetwithinyou.Theyenableyoutoadapt,whichmaypromptyoutochangeyourperspective.Thinkofwhenyoulivedsomewhereforalongtimeandthenmoved.Thenewplaceseemssostrange,butwithtime,youadapt.Asyouadapttothenewplace,theoldplacenolongerseemsthesamewhenyouvisit.Thischangeofperspectiveisattributedtoexperiencinganotherlife,whichyouwerepreviouslyunawareexisted.Componentsofthisnewlifehavebecomepartofyourperspective,vision,andmindset.Withthisnewinformation,whatyousaworknewbeforehasbeenaltered.

Withtimeandexperiencesalteringyourperspective,yourfieldsofunderstandingandvisionchange,too.Thesamecanbeappliedtoidentifyingopportunities.Ifyoulookatacomputeratanearlyage,youmightonlyseeitasavehicleforplayingvideogames.Asyougrowolder,youdiscovermanymoreusesforthecomputer.Yourneedsgrowasyoudo.Youbuymoresoftwareorupgradeyourequipment.Youmightdecidetolearnaboutcoding,andthendesignthesoftwareratherthanbuyingit.Asaresultyoucreateanopportunityforyourselftosellortrademarktheprogram.Thesameitem,whichhadbeen

usedtoplayvideogames,hasnowmadeyouamillionaire.Anditwasnothingmorethaninformationandperspectivethatallowedyoutoidentifyadifferentuseandpurpose.

Ateveryturningpointofyourlife,youdiscoverlife’sobjectives.Yourdiscoveriesarebasedonhowmuchyousee,whichistiedtohowmuchpreviousinformationyoureceived.Thiseithermakesitanopportunityorjustentertainment.Purposecanbeidentifiedonlywhenyou:•Seecorrectly

•Holdenoughinformation;and

•Havetheconfidencetoactondiscoveringmore

Asaresult,youwillfeelpurposeful—evenifyouhaveyettodiscoveryourlife’spurpose.Atdifferentstagesofyourlife,youmightfeellikeyouholdmultiplepurposesasyouidentifyyourobjectives.Butitisoftenlaterwhenallyourexperiencesandyourpastfeelingsoffulfillmentcometogether,whichultimatelyallowyoutoreachaleveloftrueself-actualization.

Isyourjobtodayrelevanttofindingyourpurposetomorrow?Absolutely.Theroleyouholdtodaywasmostlikelychosenbyyouand,regardlessofwhetherornotyouarepassionateaboutit,yourjobholdscertainelementsofwhatyouaremeanttodointhelongrun.Formyself,Istartedinthefinanceindustryatarelativelyyoungageandevolvedintomultipleleadershiprolesthere.DespitehatingthejobitselforthoseIworkedfor,IenjoyedthewayIhelpedemployeesgrowanddiscovertheirpathsinlife.ItwasinvigoratingtoseethemsucceedandfeellikeIplayedapartinthat.Laterinlife,IfoundthatIpossessedagreatskillsettohelppeopleinthisway.Ialsounderstoodthatmyuniquelifeexperiencesenabledmetohelpthemmorethanmost,soIaskedmyselfhowIcouldhelpmorepeople,whichledmedownanewpath—whichIbelieveisthereasonIexist.Ialsowishittobethereasonwhymyexistenceisvalidatedbysociety.

WithouthavinghadjobsIhated,Iwouldn’thaveidentifiedalltheelementsthatweremissingandwithoutexperiencesfrommypast,Iwouldn’thavebeenabletoactonthem.Thinkaboutthecommonfactorthatyoudidn’tlikeaboutallyourpastjobs,whatisthatonemissingelement?

Therolesyouholdtodayorhaveheldinthepastarelinkedtowhatyouwilldolater,butperhapsnotinwaysthatyoumightidentifyimmediatelyorevenrelateto.Youcan,however,backtrackonceyouunderstandtheThirdCircleTheoryandidentifyforyourselfwhyyouworkwhereyouworkandwhyyouworkedatpreviousjobs.Moreimportantly,youwillidentifyelementsinyourskillsetsorbeliefsthatallyourpastroleshadincommonatthattime.Takeamomentand

thinkbackofallyourpastjobsandthepositionsyouheld.Whatwerethecommonresponsibilitiesyouenjoyedinyourroles?

ByunderstandingandapplyingtheThirdCircleTheory,youcanidentifywithwhattodotodaytohelppositionwhatyouseetomorrowandultimatelyremainontracktodiscoveryourtruelife’spurpose.

HowtheThirdCircleTheoryWillHelpYou

Purposeisoftendefinedthroughmystery,luck,orfaith.I’veneverhaditexplainedthroughasystematiclensoflife’scycles,inawaythatprovidesapattern,process,orsomethingmoretangiblethanthoseotherpathways.

Successisdefineddifferentlyforeachindividual,buttheroadtosucceeding,regardlessofwhatyourdefinitionlookslike,sharesalotofthesameattributes.Aquickandeasyexamplewouldbethatsaying“consistency”isanattributeofsuccess.Iexpectthatanyonewhohassucceededinlifewilltellyouthatconsistencyinonewayoranotherplayedaroleinhisorherquest.Thesamepatternofconsistencyishowmostpeoplefoundwhattheybelievetobetheirpurposeinlife.Theyexperiencedanumberofcommonexperiencesandobservations,suchassurroundingthemselveswithrolemodelsorbeingraisedbypeopleotherthantheirrealparents,whichledthemtowhoandwheretheyaretoday.

ThisroadmapistheThirdCircleTheoryandthestepswetakeinlife,experienceswegothrough,andthesurroundingsweobserve,areallpartofthistheory.Thistheoryshowsyouhowtonavigatelife—progressingfromonecircletothenext—ultimatelydiscoveringyourtruepassionandleadingtowhatyouaremeanttodo.

Itisextremelyimportantthatyouestablishthisroadmapbeforeundertakingyourjourney—justasyoupreviouslyneededtodefineyourpurpose.Succeedingandmakingmoneyisonly50percentoftheequation.Financialgainoftenleavesyouwantingmoreofthesame,whichultimatelyleadsyoutomakingmoremoney.Youbecomethehamsteronthewheel,constantlyworkingbutwithnoendtotheeffort.Whenyouarefocusedonmakingmoney,youfailtorealizeisthatyousubconsciouslyarelookingfornothingmorethanyourpurposeandfulfillment,butthattruthismaskedinmakingmoremoney.Despiteyoualmostfeelinglikeyouareinthisnever-endingcycle,youdohaveanopportunitytomoveforward,andthat’swheretheThirdCircleTheorycanhelp.

Findingpurposecanchangeyourlifeinstantlyasyoufeelthisboundlesssupplyofenergypropelyouforward.Thispowersurgefuelsyourquestforcompleting

whatyoubelievetobethedefinitionofyourexistence.

Imaginehowmuchharderyouwouldworkatyourcurrentjobifyouknewforafactthattheparticularroleistheoneyouaredestinedtofulfill.Nomatterhowyoulookedatyourtasks,youwouldstrivetoaccomplishthemandbethebestatitbecauseyouhavetheconfidencethatthispresentisguidingyoutowardabetterfuture.Youcertainlywouldstopcomplaining,stoplookingformoney,andfindjustabouteverywaypossibletoaccomplishthetasksathand.Moreimportantly,yourpositiveattitudetowardsthosearoundyou,andthosebelowandaboveyou,wouldbeinfectious.Thisinspirationiscontagiousandwillenablethemtoworkharderandsupportyoubetterthroughyourquest.

Findingpurposeisthisunexplainedphenomenonthatmakesyoulimitlessandenablesyoutobecomegreatateverythingyoudo.

WhytheThirdCircleTheoryWasCreated

SomethingwasalwaysdifferentformewhileIwasgrowingup.Isawmostoflifethroughaweirdthird-partylens,likeaspectator.Fromaveryyoungage,Iwasabletobelogicalandemotionlesstowardssituations.Withthispurelyrationalperspective,Iobservedmysurroundingsandthoseinit,whileneverreallyunderstandingatthetimehoweverythingandeveryonewasinterconnected.

WhatwasmostinterestingwasthatnomatterwhatIstarted—likegettinganeducationoranicejob—Ineverreallyfoundfulfillment,justtemporarysatisfaction.Iboughtnewcars,homes,andluxurygadgetsthatmanypeopledreamof,butIgotboredwiththeminafewmonths.Idatedbeautifulwomen,butbecamejustasboredwiththemandmovedon.

Buttherewasonethingthatwasconstantthatdidn’tboreme.Thatwastheknowledgegainedfromeachexperience.Nomatterwhattheexperience,Iimmediatelyabsorbedknowledge.ThenIdiscoveredthatIhadanaturaltalentforsharingthatknowledgeinacharismaticandprofoundway—onethatinspiredotherstoact.WitheachpersonIhelpedortouched,IbecamemoreandmoremotivatedandIwasfullofenergytodoitalloveragain.

Atfirst,Ibelievedthatmyownpurposewasfoundanditwashelpingotherssucceedatwhattheydid…BUTIWASWRONG.Ihadnotuncoveredmypurpose,butratherwhatIwaspassionateabout.Thisdiscoveryledmetobecomeevenmoreanalyticalwithmyselfandlookbackatallmyexperience,soIcouldunderstandwhatmypurposereallywas.

“IrealizedthroughthisexperiencethateverytimeIhelpedsomeone,itheldaresidualeffectforme.Astheirsupervisor,theireffortsdirectlybenefitedmeandsoIknewsomethingwaskeepingmefromtakingthenextsteptowardsfindingmypurpose.“

Iaskedmyselfoverandover,HowwasIactuallyhelpingpeople?Wasitchangestotheirmindset?Wasitmotivation?Orperhapsitwasnothingmorethanofferingthemalogicalapproachratherthananemotionalone.Ireallycouldn’tdifferentiatewhatitwasexactlythatIwasdoingtohelpthem,orinwhatorder.IknewIwashelpingthemastheirchangeinresultsprovedthatmymethodworkedeventhoughitwasn’tmuchofamethodbutratherdifferentcomponentsofdifferentthingsallcomingtogetherthroughmywordsandpresentedawaythateveryonewouldbuyintoit.

Ididn’tknowwhatItriggeredinthemtomakethemchangeandcertainlydidn’tunderstandhowmytechniquesworkedforeveryone,butIcertainlyknewwhyitwasveryimportantformetocontinuehelpingothers—ultimatelyhelpingsocietyalltogetherbyintroducingsmarterandbrighterpeopleeachandeveryday.Ikepthelpingandinvariouswayscontinuedtoseeresults.

Timeaftertime,mymethodsworkedasplanneduntiltheonedayIranintofailure.Tenyearsofpositiveresultshadpassed.ThenIfinallymettheexceptiontomyrules.NomatterwhatIsaidorhowIsaidit,shedidn’tbelieveme,didn’tchange,anddidn’timprove.Mymethodfailedwiththisyounglady.AsshockedasIwas,IactuallyenjoyedanalyzingwhyIfailedandattemptedtofindoutfromherwhyshenevertrustedmeandsheactuallytoldme,“BecauseIthoughtyouwantedtohelpmesoyoucouldusemetogetyourselfahead.”Despitebeinghurt,shocked,andpuzzledastowhyshewouldfeelthatway,IunderstoodthatIsimplyhadn’tearnedenoughtrustforhertobelieveme.

SoItackledthesituationinmyusualnon-emotional,analyticalway.Ievaluatedwhyotherstrustedmewhileshedidn’t.Forexample,IbrokedownthedifferentsegmentsofwhatIdidwithothersthatIdidn’tdowithher.

Aftercarefulstudy,Ifinallycametorealizethatitwasn’twhatIdidordidn’tdowithher,butratherwhatwasdoneornotdonetoherpriortomeetingme.Herpastenvironmenttaughthertonottrustthosewhowanttohelp.Shehadbeenconditionedtobelievethesepeoplewouldmostlikelybeusingyou.Thisdiscoverymademerealizethat“environment”playsamuchmoresignificantroleinsomeone’sgrowth.Moreimportantlyitalsomademehavetore-thinkmyownenvironmentandhowithadalteredmythinkingthroughtheyears.That’s

whenIrealizedthatwhatIwasteachingeveryonewasnothingmorethanacombinationofmylearnings.IalsodiscoveredthathowIwasteachingthemwasalmostidenticaltohowIlearned.However,whyIwasteachingthemwasbecauseIwantedthemtoknowwhatit’sliketofindtheirpurpose.Iwantedthemtoknowwhatit’sliketofeellikeyouunderstandyourroleinthisworldandtheimportanceitholds.

IcreatedtheThirdCircleTheoryasaresultofmyexperiences,becauseIbelievemorepeopleneedtodiscoverforthemselveswhytheyarehere.Moreimportantly,theyneedtoseeandexperiencemoreoflife.Theyneedtoreallyunderstandwhatlivingisandtostartbecominglessselfishandmoredriventohelponeanother.

TheThirdCircleTheorywillhelpyouidentifywhatyoumustdotofindyourpurpose.Thecirclesthemselveshelpidentifyvariouselementsinyourenvironmentandtherolestheyplayinyourquest.Alotoftheactionsyoutakepartin—orwatchothersgothrough—aredefinedinthesecircles.Hopefully,thisdirectionwillhelpyouidentifyandconnectthedotstowhatyoumustchangetogettothatThirdCircle.

Beforewestart,let’sanalyzesomethingthatmightmakeyouopenyourmindabitmoretotheconceptofchangeitself.Let’stalkaboutcommonsense!

Whatiscommonsenseandwheredoesitcomefrom?Commonsenseisoftenrepresentedassomethingthatmustbeunderstoodbymostastheminiskillsettosurviveinsociety.Itisyourabilitytoconnectthedotsandmakesenseoflife’smostcommontheories.Inthesimplestsense,itiswhatwedefineas“howwelive”.Thosewhodon’t“getit”arelabeledaslacking“streetsmarts”orsimplyasidiots.

Truecommonsense,however,ismorethanjusthowwelive.Itgoesabitdeeperthanjustsomeonecategorizingyouintoonegrouporanother.Commonsenseisthemajorityofthegroup(country,city,organization,etc.)agreeingoncertainbeliefsorvalues.Inthisway,theycometoacommonagreementthatwhateverisdiscussedtobetrue.Soifacommongroupbelievesinasystembasedoncolorsandconcludesthatredmeans“stop”andgreenmeans“go”,theyintroducethisbelieftoacommongroupasanagreeduponconcept.Itnowbecomesacommonlyacceptedsymbolofthatgrouporsociety.Anyonenotconformingwouldbedeemedaslackingcommonsense.Thiscommonbeliefhadtobecreatedsomewhereandbysomeone.Therefore,itmayormaynotbetrue,butthegroupnowacceptsit.Ifothergroups,however,don’tacceptthis

theory,theycreatetheirowncommonlyacceptedrulesorsymbolsand,therefore,willnaturallycreateadisconnectifonepartyfromeachgroupspendsadaywiththeotherparty.ThisisnodifferentthanwhatsocietygoesthroughasimmigrantsofonecountrywithXamountofbeliefscomesintoYcountrywithdifferentsetsofrulesandbeliefs.Mostoftheiractionsintheirnewenvironmentwillmimictheactionstheyobservedfortheyearstheyspentintheirpastenvironment,creatingconfusionamongotherswhowillquicklycallthemstupidorsaythey“don’tgetit”butperhapsthetableswouldbebackwardsifyouvisitedanewcountryorplace.

Therealquestionthoughiswhyisyourgroup’ssetofvaluesandbeliefsmoreaccuratethanothers?Whodecideswhichgroupisrightorwrong,andwhichsetsofvaluesorbeliefsareindeedaccurate?

Sinceyounowrecognizethatcommonsenseisnothingmorethanyourveryownobservedbeliefs,nowyoucanunderstandwhytheworldhassomanydifferentindividualsatsomanydifferentlevelsofunderstanding.WecantieitallintotheThirdCircleTheory.

ThirdCircleTheoryIntroduction

IcreatedtheThirdCircleTheoryforSecretEntourage,aplatformaimedathelpingtherebirthofentrepreneurship,toexplainhowthehumanmindevolvesfrombirthtothestagewhereitfindspurpose.Thistheorycannotonlyhelpyourealizewhyyouarenotfindingyourpurpose,butcanactuallyguideyouintherightdirectiontofindit.

TheThirdCircleTheoryconsistsofthreecirclesillustratingthreeworlds,threeperspectives,threevisions,andthreecycles.Eachcircleconsistsof:•Aworld

•Aperspective

•Avision,and

•Acycle

Yourmindundergoeseachofthesefourelements.Eachcirclerepresentsapathyoucantake.Throughtime,youcanevolvefromonetothenext.Youdonothavetocompleteacircleinordertograduatetothenextcircle.

EveryonegoesthroughtheFirstCircle,somewillevolvetotheSecondCircle,andveryfewprogresstotheThirdCircle,whichisthestagethatallowsthedefinitionofyourexistence.Myhopeisthatbyreadingthisbook,youwilljointhatelitegroupofpurposefulpeople.

TheFirstCircle:TheBirth,TheSettler,&TheDreamer

EveryonebeginsintheFirstCircle.Itisthefoundationofyourlifeand,regardlessofhowstrongthatfoundation,youbeginhere.

TheBirth:Signifiesthatyouarebornintothiscircle.

Asachild,theworldrevolvesaroundyou,whichisthesignificanceofthediagram’scenterdot.Youareaproductoftheenvironmentyouarebornintoandthepracticesyouaretaughtearlyon.Yourreligioushabits,beliefs,values,andbehaviorsareallderivedfromsomeoneelse’sperspectiveoflife,oftenaparent.Yourvaluesystem,views,andreachextendonlyasfarastheirs.Youstriveforthethingsyouareexposedto—ifyouarefromafamilythatstrugglestomakeendsmeetorraisedinsicknessorwithissues,youcouldfindyourselfmoreexposedtoindividualswithlittlehopeforsomethingbetter,aswellasasignificantamountoffaithorbeliefinthingsthatareuncontrollable.Asaresult,youstrivetoriseabovepovertyortogainbetterhealthasyourmaingoal.

Youraspirationsatthisstagealsoremainsmall,perhapsbecauseyourfamily’sgoalsforyouareequallysmallastheirownwere.Thisiswheretheytellyouaboutopportunitiestheyneverhad,andthatunlikethem,youwillmakeadifferencebyacquiringaneducation.Theymightblameyoufortheirownfailuresandmakeanexampleofwhattheysacrificedinordertobringyoutothisworld.Butyouneedtoputthisinperspective.Ifyouareblamed,itismostlybecauseyourparents(orparentalfigures)neverthemselvesgraduatedfromthisFirstCircle,sotheyarestuckinanarrow-mindedenclosure.

Onthecontrary,ifyouarebornintoafamilywhereneithermoneynoraccomplishmentisscarce,you,too,willstrivetodogreatthings.Theexposuretothismoreoptimisticlifestylereinforcesyourbeliefofwhatsuccessis,whatyoucanachieve,andwhatyoudeserve.Thisiswhereentitlementstarts.Entitledornot,inthisenvironment,youarealwaysexposedtowhatyoucanbe.Notonlyissupportavailableforyoutoachieveyourgoals,butresources,belief,andconstantencouragementexists.Whileeducationandthecorefoundationmaynotdiffermuchfrombeingbornintopoverty,theconstantlevelofachievementpresentallaroundyouforcesyououtofthisFirstCirclemuchfaster,propellingyoutowardfindingwhatyouaremeanttodo.

Rememberthat,fromanearlystage,youarebornwithorwithoutanadvantage,

butbynomeansareyouobligatedtoaccepttheoutcome,whichyouarebornin.Yousimplyhavetoendureit.

TheSettler:Anindividualstagethatrepresentsbeingcomplacentinyoursituation.

MostwhocontinueonfromtheBirthstagetotheSettlerhaveachievedjustenoughtobesatisfied.Inmostcases,youwouldhavenotseenmuchofwhatlifehastooffer.Youfeelthatthelittleyouhaveachievedisthebigachievementofyourlife.

Atthisstage,lifeandtheworldrevolvearoundyou.It’saboutyourwork,yourrelationships,yourmoney,andyourfeelings.Routinesetsin.Mostofyourearlierbeliefs,behaviors,andfaitharefollowedandmaintainedwithdirectionfromthoseaboveyou—yourelders,supervisors,orwealthierindividualsarehighlyrespectedwithoutquestion.Youaresimplyhappyanddealwithlife’scyclesanddifferentstages,whicharerepresentedbyallthealternativeviewpoints(dottedlines).Theyareallverynarrowandonlyanalternateviewofthemainvision,whichisequallynarrow(illustratedbytheboldline).

Yourviewpointcanonlyseesofarandislimitedtowhatyouareshown,sinceatanygiventime,youmisswhatisoccurringinalternativeviews,times,andlocationsaroundyou.BystayingintheSettlerstage,yourmindacceptsitsinabilitytogrowandsettlesforwhateverithasachievedtodate.Whileyouwillcatchafewbreakshereandthere,youwillultimatelyneverreallyprogress.

IntheSettlerstage,youwillshowcasetraitslikedisinteresttowardswhatgoesonintheworld.Youwillbeapatheticaboutvotingofanysort,butwillbesoldonjustaboutanythingcommercial.Mostoftoday’sTVcommercialsaregearedtothisstateofthemind,onethatiseasilyconvincedbywhatitisexposedto.

TheDreamer:Thestagewheredreamsandrealitynevermeet.

DuetoyourSettlerviewpoint,youhavebecomecomplacent.Youmoveontoamid-lifestage.IfyouhavenotgraduatedfromtheFirstCircle,yougointoa“Mid-LifeCrisis”,whichisyourbrain’swayofseekingabetterrealitythanyoueverhad.Asyougetolder,youareexposedtonewindividuals—manyolderandmanymuchmoresuccessful,whichmakesyouquestionyourpastdecision-making.Asaresult,youwanttobelongtosomethingyouarenot.Sinceyouarewayintoyourlifecycle,yourbraincontinuouslylooksforwaystocatchupand,therefore,isalwayshungryforaquickanswer.Thisneedforinstantgratificationcreateswhatwecallthe“Dreamer”.

Inthisstage,younowseethelivesofyourfriendsorothers.Theirgainsunfortunatelyfeeloutofyourreachsoyoubecomeverybitterandblameyourfamilyorsomeotherformoffaith.YougobacktoyourSettlerstateonceyouacquiresomethinglikeanewcarorlargerhome—vanitiesthatpleasetheweakersideofyourmindintofeelingaccomplishedwhennorealchangehasoccurred.

Thisperiodoftenends,andverylittlehashappened.Yourmindfailedatexpandingitselfandmovingforward.ThedreamerstagealsoindicateswhyGenYishighlyfocusedoninstantgratification.Ifyoufitintothisvision,youfindyourselfeasilymanipulatedbyscamsorbyfalseopportunitiesasyouareseekingshortcutsandanswerstobecomingsomethingyouspendalongtimeignoring.ThisconstantpursuitofinstantgratificationinthisstageisthereasonthatveryprofitableselfhelpprogramstargetindividualsattheDreamerstage.RichDad,PoorDadishighlygearedto“dads”whoareoftenintheir40’sandhaven’taccomplishedwhattheywanted—theconsummateDreamers.

MostpeopleunfortunatelynevergraduatefromtheFirstCircle.Whiletheyarefollowerswhoseemlosttothoseotherswhohavegraduated,theystillcanmakethetransitionatanytime.TherealproblemhereisthatifyoustayintheFirstCircle,youwillremainsetinyourwaysanditisdifficulttochange.Thisisthereasonwhymanyyoungadultsfeeltheirparentsdon’tunderstandtheiraspirationswhentheythinkdifferentlythanaconventionalwaytosucceed.Therealchangefromthepreviousgeneration(GenX)toGenYasitpertainstotheFirstCircleisthetimeittakestomovethroughthestages.GenYwillsimplygothroughthephasesofeachcirclefasterduetothewidelyavailableamountofinformation.Theaccesstoinformationisgoodandbad.Information,ifaccurate,isgreatasitallowsyoutomakeaconclusionbasedonfacts,buttoday’ssocietysharesopinionsbasedonperspectiveswhichwilldifferdependingonthesourceofinformation.Thiscreatesseriousmassconfusionandoftencreatesmanipulationtoalevelunheardofbefore.

ThecharacteristicslackinginmostpeopleintheFirstCirclearebasedaroundself-perception.Mostoftheindividualsherelackself-confidence,courage,andbeliefinthemselves,partlybecausetheyhavepoorperceptionoftheworldandwheretheyfitinit.Theydon’tfeelsignificantenoughtoaccomplishanything,oftennotevenknowingwhattheywanttodoinlife.Theystaycomplacentwiththeirenvironment,don’ttakechances,don’tstartbusinesses,don’ttravelasmuchtoplacestheyhaven’tbeenbefore,andareokwithanythingthathappens.Theyareoftendrawntoindividualswho,unlikethemselves,seemtohaveallthe

answers,whichiswhytheFirstCirclepeopleareeasilymanipulated.Theyoftenperceiveothersasarrogantinsteadofconfident,astheyareunabletoidentifyconfidenceandwhatitdoesforone’sbodyandmind.

TheSecondCircle:TheAwakening,TheLeader,&TheAchiever

About20percentofyouwillprogresstothisstage,eithernaturallyorthroughexposuretoknowledgefollowedbycuriosity.TheSecondCirclereflectsTheAwakening,TheLeader,andTheAchiever.

Atsomepointduringyourlifecycle,youareexposedtoindividuals,education,orpointofviewsthatdefyyourbeliefs,faith,orbehaviorsasexplainedintheFirstCircle.YouhavetheopportunitytograduatetotheSecondCircle,whichconsistsofnothingmorethananincreasedperspective,vision,andviewoftheworld.Thesebroadenedviewsempoweryourthinkingtogrowevenfurther.TheSecondCircleisaboutyouropennesstoexpandingyourmindandvision,beginningwiththefirststage.

TheAwakening:Yourmindopensuptoheightenedawarenessandcuriosity.

Whenyouareexposedtotheunknown,youeitherchoosetoacceptthatanalternativerealityexistsoryousimplydenyyourbrainaccesstofreethinking.Often,againbasedonyourpreviousbeliefs,thisdecisionispresentedtoyouindifferentwaysthroughoutyourlifetime.Asignificantportionofthatcomesfromeducation,asyouarenotonlyfacedwithnewlearning,butarealsoforcedtoacceptthemessageinordertograduatetobecomeanacceptedmemberofsociety.

Throughthisexposuretonewwaysofthinking,youarechallengedtoseekyourownanswersanddeliveryouropinions,whichmakesyouquestionyournarrowviewofsociety.Thisisoftenwhythosepeoplewhogotobetterschoolsendupinbetterjobs,simplybecauseoftheirexposuretopeoplewhooperateinthisSecondCircle.ThisAwakeningmakesyoucuriousenoughtotrynewthings,seeknewanswers,andevenmakeyouskepticalattimes.Itinspiresyoutoexplore,andthroughexplorationcomeslearning,regardlessofwhetheritcamefromaneducator,mentor,orteacher.

Youlearntothinkfreelyandstartrealizingthat,despitetheworldstillbeingcenteredonyourselfandyouremotionsandneeds,itisalsouptoyoutoreachforyourgoals.Theawakeningofyourmindallowsyoutogaincourageandconfidence—enoughtogetyoutopursueyourinterestsinsteadofmerelydoingasyouaretold.BeingintheAwakeningstagealmostmakesyoudefianttosociety.Youmightstarttobelieveinconspiraciesandnoticethateverything

appearstohaveadoublemeaningduetoyourlackoftrusttowardsinformation.

IntheAwakening,youmaylosesignificanttrustasyoubelieveyouhavelivedalifethathasbeenfilledwithfabrication.Beingcautiousinthisstageisimportantforyourwell-being,becausetherearepeoplewithadeepunderstandingofthefactthatyouseekanswersandtheyarereadytomanipulateyou.Thepowerofmanipulationcontinuesasideologiesaresharedandanswerstoquestionsareprovided,creatingafalsesenseoftrustsimplybecauseyourelatetoacauseorpersonsharingit.Inotherwords,yourbrainisawakeningtoanewworld,andthisnewinfluencebecomesaguide.Ifanindividualmisguidesyou,theyarelikelymanipulatingyoufortheirownself-interest.Thisrealizationtakesustothatnextstage.

TheLeader:Theemergingneedtoanddesiretoleadothers.

IfyouareabletoovercomeotheropinionsandbeliefsthatareattemptingtoswayyourthinkingintheAwakeningstage,you’llfeelunrestanddistrust.Youtrulybelievethatyouareinchargeofyouroutcomesandfeeltheneedtosharethatconfidencewithothers.Throughyouractions,youbecomesuccessfulandbuildafollowingofemployees,peers,orsupporterswhorevolvearoundcateringtoyourneeds.Thisneedofleadingothersbenefitsthosearoundyoubyprovidingthemtheirneedsbutgetsyoutoyourwants.

Othersaredrawntoyourcharacter,whichamplifiesyourabilitytogrowevenfurtherandbecomeevenmoreefficientandeffectiveasaleader.IfyouareintheLeaderstage,youareoftenlookedatasaverysuccessfulandleadingpersoninyoufieldsofinterest.Youestablishyourselfwithahighlevelofeducationnomatterifself-taughtorthroughschool.Moreimportantly,youkeeprelatingbacktoaseriesofexperiencesasthereasonforyoursuccesswhensharingwithothershowyouhavebecomesoresourceful.

Thisstageiseasytoloseyourselfinasyouareaself-proclaimedleader.Asaresult,youmayfindyourselfmakingagoodamountofmoney,slowlyclosingyoureyestofurtherlearning.Thisdangerouspathisthebeginningstagewhereyoucanshowmanipulationtraits,likelookingforwaystoprofitoffofthoseadmiringyouandlookingtoyouforadvice.Thesetraitsmaybeamplifiedbyyourself-acceptanceandyourgroupoffollowersincreasingfasterthanyouexpect.Asaresultofbeingaleaderandopentoviewingmultiplepointsofview,youbecomemorewaryofyourenvironment.Youmayalsobecomeanopportunistingoodorpoormanners,suchaseithermanipulatingyourenvironmenttobenefityourselfversusthosefollowingyouandlookingfor

guidance.Youthenevolvetothethirdstageofthiscircle.

TheAchiever:Opportunitymeetshardwork.

PeopleinthisstageoftheSecondCirclearenostrangerstotheconceptofhardworkandopportunity.Youdeliverdailyonyournewself-createdbeliefandseeother’sweaknessesasanopportunitytostepupandleadthem.Self-proclaimedandprofit-drivenselfhelpgurusoftenliveinthisphase.

AsanAchiever,youaimtobeacceptedinsociety,andthereforeconstantlyseekanswerstowhyyouexist.Thisquestleadsyoutomultiplepaths,allsuccessfulandallfullofachievements(illustratedthroughmultipledottedlinesshowingonlyfourstagesbutstillmultiplestagesofone’slife).Mostpeopleinthisstagearestillhighlyfocusedonmoneyastheidealrewardforyourefforts.Yourarelyseekfulfillmentunlessmonetarilyrewardedforit.Ifyoulookatthegraph,itsimplyshowcasesahigherandbroaderview,butstillkeepstheself-centeredindividualfromseeingmoreoflife.Therefore,ifunabletograduatefromthisSecondCircle,youwillbeaccomplished,butwillneverdefineyourexistence.

Mostoftoday’stoplawyers,doctors,andbusinessmenfallintotheAchievercategory.Whileyoudosucceed,insteadofgraduatingtotheThirdCircle,youworkyourentirelifetomakemoremoneyasyourwaytokeepscore.Veryfewofyouactuallyfeelyouknowyourpurpose—evenifyoubelieveyoudo,itisonlytoconvinceyourselfyouhavefounditasmoneyhasbeenmade.Thepowerofself-acceptanceisverystrongintheAchiever.Thisstagealsoamplifiesthemanipulativesideofsomeoneinit,constantlyusingresourcesforself-benefitandleadingpeopleontopromisesthatneverbecomereality.However,ifyoudeterminethatyourexistenceshouldandwillmeanmorethanmoney,thenyougraduatetotheThirdCirclewhereyoufindtheanswersyouseek.ThistakesustotheThirdCircleandtothecoreofwhyyouexist.

TheThirdCircle:TheVision,ThePurpose,&TheRebirth

TheThirdCircleistheonethatyoumostoftenmiss.Asamatteroffact,onlyabouttwopercentofyoufallintothatThirdCircleorshouldIsaygraduateintotheThirdCircle.Peoplewhoseachievementsweidolize,suchasSteveJobs,BillGates,MichaelJordan,WaltDisney,Gandhi,andmanymorewhichweremember,despitetheirdeparturefromthisworld,livedtheirlivesdailythewaythiscircleintended.Youlistentotheirwords,idolizetheirlives,looktothemforanswers,andconsiderthemthebestintheirrespectiveindustries.Theseindividualsarenotgod-like,buthavefiguredoutsomethingthatmanyofyouwillneveraccept,whichwillpreventyoufromenteringthiscircle.Theyhavelearnedtheirpurposeandtoremovethemselvesfromtheequationoflife.

WhenyoureachasatisfactorylevelofachievementintheSecondCircle,youwillstarttoquestionyourexistenceasthehumanmindhasbeenconditionedtoseekmore;afterallitisthe“Achiever”inyou.Itisn’tuntilyouchoosetonotmakeitaboutyouthatyouestablishatruevisionofwhattheworldcanbe.ThisallowsyoutograduateintotheThirdCircle,startingwithyourvision.

SincetheThirdCircleTheoryisnotaboutyou,thestagesarereversed.StartingwiththeVision,thenmovingtothePurpose,andfinallytotheRebirthofyou.TheCircleitselfisyetanotherstageofyourlife,butitisyourabilitytogopastthisCircleandenhanceyourperspectivetoonewhodoesnotseeyourselfasthecenteroftheuniverse,butratherasoneremovedfromtheuniverse;thatwillgiveyoutheabilitytoidentifyyourpurpose.ThediagramoftheThirdCircleindicatesthevisionbeingoutsideoftheCircleandnolongerinsideit,toshowcasethisentireviewoftheworldatoncefromamuchbroaderperspective.

TheVision:Envisionabetterworldorseepastyourownemotions.

SometraitsoftheSecondCircle’sVisionaryexistinmanyofyou,butyourinabilitytonotmakeeverysituationorproblemaboutyoupreventsyoufromfindingyourpurpose.

WhenyoureachtheVisionarystageintheThirdCircle,youarekeenlyawareofyoursurroundingsandareveryanalyticaloftheinformationpresentedtoyou.Youseewhatyouarenotshownortold,ratherthanwhatispresented.Agreatexampleofthisislookingintoacellphone’sscreen;manyofyouseetheimageitselfandwhileotherpeopleseetheirownreflection.Itisnotbecauseyouhave

bettereyesight,butratherbecauseyouseekalternativeanswersallaroundyou,and,therefore,canseefartherthanmost.Youenvisionabetterworld,abetterfutureforpeople,andyoucanactuallypicturewhatthatlookslike.Thisvisionenablesyoutoapplyimportancetoyourproject,nomatterhowbigorsmallitmayseemtoothersattimes.

Becauseyouseefarther,youdonotfearbringingthatvisiontolifeortheworkaheadofyou.Aworldwithoutthatvisionisnolongerpossibleonceyouhaveseenit.Realizingthatimagebecomesyourobsession.Someofyouhereareoftenreferredtoasphilosophers.Thegraphhereillustratestheviewfromoutsideofthecircleshowcasinganentireprojectionoftheworldratherthanmultiplesegmentsatdifferenttimes.TheVisiongrowsstrongerthanyourownbeing.Thewheelsstartrollingandyourdesiretobringthevisiontolifebecomesyourpriority,whichleadstodefiningyourpurpose.

ThePurpose:Choosewhichsideoftheequationyoustandon.

Almostaclashofgoodversusevil,youcanchoosewhatyouwanttheworldtolooklike.Ifyouchoosethattheworldremainsunchangedaboutyou,youultimatelychoosetotakethewrongsideoflifeandbecomeanamazingmanipulator.YoucanstartshowingtraitsofthisearlyonlikewediscussedintheSecondCirclewhereyouchosehowyouhandledpeoplewhowerefollowersorbelieversofyouandyourcause.Butlikeanyotherhumangoingthroughthestages,youhavetheopportunitytochange.Thosewhochoosenottomaximizeopportunitydon’tprogresspasttheThirdCircle.

Atthistimeinyourlife,whicheversideyouchooseisthesideyouwillremainwithandiscomplementarytoyourvision.Purposeiscreatedasaresultofyourbeliefinsomethinggreaterthanyourself,whereyouallowyourmindandemotionstoremovethemselvesfromtheequation.Thisisthestageinwhichmoneynolongermattersanddecisionsaremadeforthecommongoodofthevision,ratherthanyourdesires,needs,andwants.

Thefeelingofbelongingtosomethinggreatersetsinandcanbeverycontagious.Thosearoundyouoftenfeelthisenergyandpassion,andjumponthebandwagontosharethatsamepositivefeeling.

Theexperiencesfromthefirsttwocirclesallplayintoyourpurpose,andconnectingthedotstolife’sconceptsbecomesaneasiertaskforyou.Thegrandschemeofliferevealsitselftoyou,andyourexistencecanonlybevalidatedwhenyourvisioncomestolife.Thismeansthatyourexistenceisnull,andyourfeelingsignoreduntilthebiggerpicturebecomesreality.Ahighlevelofenergy

revealsitself,allowingnoobstaclesorproblems,butratherservingupchallengesthatalwayshaveanswersandarequicklyovercome.Thisisoutlinedbythedotoutsidethecircle,whichisasymbolthattheworldnolongerrevolvesaroundyou,butratherinfrontofyou.

Decision-makingbecomeseasier.Theprojectathandorthoseinvolvedbecomemoreimportantthanyou.Youarenowfeelingfulfillment—thedrivingforcethatyoumustsupportothersandhelpthemachieveinordertoreachthegoal.Here,anewlevelofleaderisbornwithinyouandtheRebirthoccurs.

TheRebirth:Yourmindfreesitselfoftheunknownandinsteadfocusesonthenowestablishedvision.

Yourrebirthoccurswhenyourvisionisrecognizedbyall,andnotjustthosearoundyou.Withthisrecognizedlevelofachievementcomesimmenseboostofconfidenceand.Yourmindseeksnewwaystoadvancesociety.

Ultimately,itwillneversoarashighasmuchasthefirsttime,simplybecauseyourexistencewasneveracknowledgedtobeginwithwhenyouweregoingthroughthethreecircles.Asaresultyoucreatedtheneedtoworkharderthaneverbefore,youhadneverfeltafeelingofpurposeandasaresultpushedtofindit.ManyofyouinTheRebirthstagebecomespeakers,teachers,andpublicservantswhobringtheirknowledgeandself-awarenesstogooduse.Themindisfree,thevisionestablished,andthepurposedefinedandrecognized.Thegameoflifehasbeenmastered.

TheRebirthcanbeatrickystage,however,youmightfeelyouhavereachedthispointbyskippingothersteps.Politicians,professionalathletes,andmoviestarsareperfectexamplesastheirexistenceisrecognized,butonlyforashortduration.Onlythoseindividualswhobecomelegendarywillendupestablishingtheirpurposeasentertainers,icons,rolemodels,etc.

Whenmoneyisintroducedearlyon—suchaswhenalargeinheritanceisleft

behindforachild—thesametheoryapplies,buttheorderoftheThirdCircle‘sstageswillshiftastheAchieverstagewasneverreachedbutrathercreatedwithexperiences.Thisshiftmakesitdifficultforanyonetorealizetheimportanceofremovingthemselvesfromtheequation.

OthermisinterpretationsoftheThirdCirclearethosevisionarieswhoseetheworldfromthecorrectlens,butremainself-centered.Thesepeoplechoosetoignoreotherswhentheycanhelpchangeotherpeople’slivesandprogress.Insteadofbecominginnovatorsorgamechangers,thesepeoplebecomepowerfulmanipulatorsandconartistswhoalterperceptiontotheiradvantage.BeadvisedthatthereisnoalternateroutetoRebirth.SelflessnessandtheVisionmusttakeplaceintherightorderandfortherightreasonsinordertocreatethetruesenseofyourpurpose.

TheThirdCircleTheorycanbeappliedtojustaboutanylevelofthinking,fromleadership,managementtofaithand,moreimportantly,toentrepreneurship.TheCirclesholdthekeytofindingyourpurposeintoday’scomplexsociety.

TheThirdCircleTheoryallowsyoutoseewhypowerfulpeoplelikeSteveJobsdon’tjustmakecomputers,butratherrewritehistory.AnyoneofyoucanadvancefromoneCircletoanotherandeventuallyreachanewlevelofthinkingwherepurposeandexistencearevalidated.ButitisoftenyourdesiretoskipaheadandgraballtheanswerswithoutthehardworkandexperiencesthatkeepsyougroundedinthefirstCircle.Thinkofthepeopleyouknowwhotalkaboutbusinessesandideas,butneveractonthem.TheyareallDreamers,andbecausetheyfeelentitled,theyneverdotheworktoachieverealprogress.Howmanypeoplegiveupontheirbusinessesbecausetheydidn’tmakeenoughmoney?Thatisaself-centeredapproachtotheideaofsuccess-theyneverachieveinnovationandaffectrealchangeinanindustry.

ByapplyingtheThirdCircleTheory,youhavethepowertounderstandwhyyoudowhatyoudoandwhyyoucanorcannotprogress.Italsoexplainswhyyouseewhatyouseeandwhatyoumustobservetoallowyourmindtoexpand.Ifunderstoodandappliedtoanyphaseoflife,thistheorycanhelpyoutakethejourneytofindingyourpurpose.

Nowthatyouunderstandwhyit’simportantandwhatitis,takeitonestepfurther.LookathowtheThirdCircleTheoryworksandhowyoucanuseittoadvanceyourselfthroughthecirclesandfindyourpurpose.

ProgressionofTheMind

NowthatyouunderstandwhatthethreeCirclesmean,youarereadytoexplore

thecycleswithineachCircle.Insodoing,youwilllearnhowtotransitionfromonetothenext,whileunderstandingwhypeopleprogressslowerorfasterthanothers.

AsIsaidearlier,theCirclesaredrivenandnavigatedbywhatyouobservewhichimpactshowyouthink.Therefore,yourawarenessoftheinformationyouarereceivingisthefirststeptounderstandingtheCircles.Awarenessisthesinglemostimportantandoftenneglectedaspectofyourlife.Youtakesomanythingsaroundyouforgrantedbynotinvestigatingtheinformation.Takethisbook,forexample.Thefactthatyouareawareoftheinformationyou’vereadherenowenablesyoutolookforthesignsthatvalidateit.Inotherwords,younowsubconsciouslyarelookingforyourpurpose,whichmeansthatevenifyouputthisbookdownrightnow,youalreadyknowthatfindingyourpurposeisbasedonwhatyouseeandtheenvironmentsaroundyou.Whetherornotyoubelievethisinformationatthismomentchangesnothingatall,becauseyouareawareofthispossibility.

Yourmindisopentoacceptfurtherinformationthatclarifiesbeliefstobetrueorfalse.PriortoreadingabouttheThirdCircleTheory,youmaynothavebeenopentothesepossibilities.InvestigatingthisinformationiswhatenablesyoutomovethroughCirclesfasterthanothers.Whenyouareabletoacceptalternaterealitiesfaster,youworktowardsyourowntruthimmediately,ratherthanwaitingforclarification.Onceagain,yourabilitytoactratherthannotdoanythingisthekeytosucceeding.

TheFirstCircle

Inthenextfewsections,Iwillbreakdownthetraits,observations,andsegmentsthatwillenableyoutomovethroughthethreeCircles.EachCirclehasitsownsetofcomponents.Thefartheryougo,thelessthecomponentsmatterandthemoreyouractionstowardsthemwill.

Keepinmindthatmostofyoualreadypossessorhavemasteredsomeofthesecomponents.Youneedtofollowthisguidetoapplysomeorderandconnectthedotssothatyoucanfillinanymissingpieces.YoucansometimescompletethebigpictureofyourownlifebyunderstandingwhichpiecesofeachCircleyouhaveyettomaster.Let’sgetstartedwiththeFirstCircle.

TheFirstCircleencompassestheBirth,theSettlerandtheDreamer;itistheoneweareallborninto.Althoughweallstarthere,wewon’teachstayinthisCircleforthesameamountoftime.ThepaceyoumovebeyondthisCircledependsonhowquicklyyoumasterthefollowingeightsegmentsofyourlife.

Environment

Frombirth,weareeachaby-productofourenvironment.Infantshavenochoicefromthecircumstancetheyarebornin.Regardlessofwhatclass,religion,ethnicity,race,place,oreducationlevelweareborninto,weabsorbtheenvironment.Aschildren,wedon’tmakeaconsciouschoiceoflanguageorreligion.Wedon’thaveasayinlikesordislikebutwehaveasetofeyesthatareconstantlyseeingandanalyzingwhat’saroundus.Wederiveourdeterminationofrightversuswrongfromwhatweobservedinourearlyyears.Weoftentrytoimitatewhatwesee,morethanfromwhatissaid.Webuildtrustthroughconsistencyandusethatasafoundationforthewayweshouldact.Combined,

thesecreatewhatweconsideroursetof“values”—framedofbehaviorswehavewitnessedfromearlychildhoodtoearlyteenageyears.Thesevaluesbecomeourguidingprinciples,anditisverydifficultforsomeonetomakeusbelievethattheyarewrongorthatanalternatesetofvaluesexists.

Agreatexampleofthisisthecontroversialtopicofreligion.Regardlessofwhatyoubelieve,allreligionsarefoundedonthebeliefinsomethinggreaterthanyourself.Thinkaboutyourownreligion—notGod,justtheconceptofreligion.Askyourselfwhochoseyourreligion.Wereyougivenanopportunitytolearnortryotherreligionsbesidesthatofyourparentsorfamily?Didyouhavetheopportunitytointeractwithindividualsofotherreligions?Inmostcases,youarethesamereligionasyourparents,guardians,orthosearoundyou—andmostlikelystillare.That’sfine,aslongasyouunderstandwhy.

Youarethesumofyourvalues,beliefs,andtheenvironmentsyouabsorb.Religionandfaithareconstantsthatyouwitnessfromaveryyoungageandmaybeareforcedtofollowbyyourparents.Thissituationputsyouatadisadvantagefrombirth,notbecausereligioniswrong,butratherbecauseyouaretaughttonotquestioncertainthings.Youaretaughtthatauthorityshouldn’tbequestionedandthatinformationfromcertainsourcessuchasyourreligion’schurchmustalwaysbedeemedaccurate.Ontheotherhand,imaginethatyoudonothavereligionorfaithinyourupbringing.Perhapsitwasnotdiscussedorpracticedinyourhome.Yourlackofawarenessandknowledgeofitcreatesasenseofseparationfromthetopic.Youbecomelesslikelytofindreligionatallinyourlife.Whilesomemightfeeltheabsenceofreligionisaterriblething,itmayactuallyhelpputindividualsaheadofthosepeoplewhowerebornintohouseholdsofreligion.Allowingamindtogrowwithoutsuchboundariescreatesverydifferentoutcomes.Youlearntorelyonyourownactions.

Thiscan,ofcourse,backfireiftheenvironmentyouarebornintoismissingothermoreimportantvalues—thosethatdefineyourhumanity,likebeingpolite,respectful,andmaintainingempoweringprincipleslikeworkinghardanddoinggoodforothers.Thesearenotofreligiousdescents,butarepreachedasgoodqualities.

Inadditiontotheexampleofyourreligiousenvironment,youcanlookatyourparents’habits,thelocationswhereyougrewup,thefinancialstatusthatsurroundedyou,andeventherelationshipyourparentshadtogetherandwithyoursiblings.Thoseexternalfactorsdrivemuchofwhatyoudotoday,oftenwithoutevenbeingawareofit.Theideahereisnottomakeyouquestionyourfaithbutwhyitistheoneyoupractice.Youcan’tanswerwith“becauseI

believe…”becausebeliefisemotional,notfactual.

Yourenvironmentandtheplacewhereyougrewupimpactsgreatlyonwhereandhowyouendup.Thinkonceagainaboutyourbasicobservationsasachild.Childrendon’tnecessarilylistentothewordsoftheirparents,butwillimitatethem.Theyareobservingtheirbehaviorsandincreasingtheirawarenesstobehaviors.Youwilllikelyimitatethebehaviorsyouwitnessedasachild—whethertheywereinapleasantenvironmentfullofcheerfulness,orinadangerousenvironmentfullofviolence,fightingandmisery.Thisenvironmentdetermineswhetheryoustartyourjourneyinlifewithanadvantageordisadvantage.Nowinmostcases,youmightlinkthesebehaviorstomoney,butitishighlyinaccuratetoassumethatifyouwerebornwithwealth,youaremostlikelytosucceedorifyouwerebornwithoutityouaremorelikelytoremainpoor.Itistruethatpeoplebornwithmoremoneyhaveanadvantage,butitisnotbecauseofthewealthbutratherthebehaviorsandvaluesthatcomefromindividualswhohavefiguredouthowtosucceed.Whenyouhavelearnedhowtosucceed,youhavebetterhabitsandbehaviors,andyourlifestylereflectsit.Asaresult,youactwithintheconfinesofwhatsocietyacceptsassuccessful.Becauseofthat,yourfocusaroundmakingmoneyisnotasurgentasthosewithlessmoney.

Yourobservationsintheenvironmentstagearecenteredonlove,family,healthyeating,exercise,careforyourvaluables,education,andgoingtoworkhappywithyourjob.Thesebehaviorscreateagoodbaselineofwhatyouacceptyourlifetobe.Youdon’tplaceasmuchemphasisonmakingmoneybecauseyoufeelthatyoumustbelongtotheenvironmentinwhichyougrewupandcarryiton.

Thisbeliefisoftenthereasonthatmanyteenagerswhoarebornintowealthierfamilieschooseprofessionsthatinvolveahighlevelofeducation.Thischoiceisaidedbythelackofurgencytomakemoneyandbecausethebeliefthatadvancededucationissomethingtheywitnessedwhilegrowingup.Althoughtheseindividualshaveafinancialadvantage,theyarealsoatadisadvantage.Theyaresoboundbytheexpectationsoftheirparentsthattheybecomeconsumedwithfearofdisappointingthem.

Let’sshifttheperspectivenowandlookatthesamescenariobasedonlow-incomefamilies.Inthiscase,thechildwitnessesmorestruggle,stress,andfrustration,andevenperhapsmoreviolence,butmoreimportantlywitnessestheconstantpursuitofbasiccomforts,likemoneyandshelter.Thishard-knocksquestpaintsanimageoftheimportanceofmoney,whichiswhereyoubecomehungryformoneyasyougrowolder.Youwanttocompensateforthesacrifices

anderasethemoneyargumentsfromyourmemories.Maybeyoudon’tdoaswellinschoolbecauseyouthinkyouhavealternativeoptionsinmakingmoneyratherthanlearning.You’reapplyingyourintelligenceinotherwaysthanacademia.

Eventhoughyouarenotaslikelytosucceedineducationasthemoreadvantagedperson,youthriveinyoururgencytomakemoney.Youarelesslikelytoventureintotheunknown,andtrynewthingsorbefearlessofgoingafterwhatyouwantwhichonceagaindespitehavingitsdownfallswillholdsometypeofpositiveleverageonyourgrowth.Thisurgencyalsomakesyoumorevulnerabletogetrichschemes.

Whatyouobserveasachild—nomatterwhatsideoftheequationyouareborninto—isonlyabaselineforbehaviorsandbeliefsyouinherit,notafinaldeterminationofhowfaryoucango.Manyadditionalfactorscontributetodeterminingyourfuturelongbeforeyouevencomprehendwhatyouareworkingtowards.Theschoolsyouattend,theteachersyouhave,andcertainlythefriendsyoumakeallimpacthowyougrowup,whoyoubecome,andwhatyouachieve.Parentsfocusongivingthebesttheycantotheirchildren;oftenbasedonmostexpensiveorhighestratedratherthangettingtoknowtheteachersthemselves,whichultimatelymakesthegreatestdifferenceinachild’seducation.Thisdesiretoallowchildrentowitnessthe“right”behaviorsandbeamongotherslikethemishowparentssubconsciouslyhelporhurttheirkids.Thispatterntrainsthemindtoonlyseeoneperspective,whichisusuallywhypoorteenagerscannotrelatetorichteenagersandviceversa.Itisbecauseofsuchparentalshelterthatachildremainsignorantofwhattheothersidelookslike.

Beingawarethattheenvironmentofyouryouthisthenottheoneyouchosebutthatwaschosenforyouisthefirststeptograduatingtoastageofcontrol.Younolongerallowyourenvironmenttodecideyourfuture.Awarenessisonceagainwherethingsbegin.Yourabilitytoacceptthatyourparentsorpastinfluencesareby-productsoftheirenvironmentshouldallowyoutodismisstheideathatallofyourlearningwasfactualbutratheracombinationofwhatyouobservedandthefactthatyourviewpointwasandstillislimitedneverallowingyoutoseemoreoftheworldbutonlyratheraccepttheworldyouareshown.

Nowyouunderstandhowyourvisionhasbeenalteredbasedonwhatyouwereshownbutwhatcanyoudotochangeit?Whatcanyoudotograduatetheideaofbeingnothingmorethanaby-productofyourenvironment?

Awarenessisultimatelytheanswertoeverythingherebutitisimportantto

understandwhatyoushouldbeawareof.Youarealreadyawareoftheenvironmentyougrewupin,andyouareawareofthesurroundingsyouareexposedtoeveryday,butwhataboutalltheotherenvironmentsyoudon’thavetodealwith?Doyouactuallyunderstandthem?Doyoutrulyknowhowpoorpeopleliveorhowverywealthypeoplelive?Areyouawareoftheirenvironmentandhowtheyacteachandeverydaytomoveforward?Byunderstandingotherpeople’sperspectivesyouareabletotrulycomprehendwhypeoplethinkthewaytheydoandyouareabletounderstandhowtomanipulateyourenvironmentinsteadofbeingmanipulatedbyit.

Belief

BeliefisthesecondcategorywithintheFirstCircle.Beliefistheacceptanceofwhatyousee.It’sthesimplestyetmostcomplexphenomenonduetothefactthatyourbeliefsareengravedforyearsinyourselfandarehardtochange.Beliefultimatelysumseverythingupaswhatyoubelievein.

Whatyoubelievedefineswhatyouseeaspossible,andtherefore,becomesyourguidelinetolivinglife.Beliefcanbeinthesenseofwhatyouperceiveasrightversuswrongorsomethingalongthelinesofyourdefinitionofsuccess.

Beliefshouldn’tbeconfusedwithconfidence,whichisbeliefinyourownability.Beliefisdefiningwhatyoubelievetobepossible.Yes,itseemssimilartoconfidence,butthetruemeaningsarestillveryfarapart.

Awarenessandunderstandingofyourenvironmentleadstoyouracceptanceofit.Thinkaboutthisinasimplerstate—forexample,yourbeliefingettingpromotedatwork.Somepeopledon’tbelieveapromotionispossible,sotheynevermakeanefforttowardachievingit.Itbecomesaself-fulfillingprophecy.Lackofbeliefcrushesthechancetoachieve.

Othersbelieveinthepossibility.Theydon’tjustact,butratherseekinformationastohowtoaccomplishthetask.Then,withaplaninmind,theyfollowthrough

withtheactions.Itallstartswiththebeliefitselfthatdrivesthebehaviorofinvestigation.

Youracceptanceofwhatispossibleisbasedonyourpastobservationsofyourenvironment.Thisbeliefdrivesyoutoact.Yourlifeisonlydefinedbytheactionsyoutake,whicharelargelytheresultofyourbelief.Thisiswhysomeofyougoforverylargegoals,whileothersgoforsmallerones.Thoseofyouwhoactivelychasethoselargegoals—oftencalledimpossibleorunrealisticbyothers—arereadytoundertaketheimpossible,becauseyouhavemostlikelywitnessedsomeamazingthingsinyourpast.Theseobservationshaveledyoutobelieve,youtoo,canmaketheimpactyouenvisionandwishfor.

Thepeoplewhowanttoinnovatebelievethattheycandoanythingtheysetouttodo.Forexample,someonewhowantstostartarestaurantbelieveshecanmakemoneywiththisventure.Thissenseofbeliefissomethingyouacquirefromyourenvironment.Whatyouhavewitnessedaspossible—whatyouseethosearoundyouaccomplish—areonlyobservationsthattranslateintobeliefandinformation.Ifyouseeghostsinyourhouse,thenyoubelieveinthem.Eventhoughyoucannotprovewhatyousaw,youcertainlybelieveinitandnolongerruleitoutoftherealmofpossibilities.Otherswhohaveneverexperienced,seen,orheardofrealghostssimplydismisstheinformation.Theydon’tpossesstheneedordesiretoknowanythingaboutghosts.Butthoseofyouwhohaveacceptedtobelieveinwhatyousawbecomeghostexperts,becauseyourbeliefpushesyoutoseekoutmoreinformationtovalidatewhatyousaw.

Youdefinesuccessbasedonwhatyoubelievetobepossible.Thisiswhyhearingofotherswhostartedwithverylittle,yetaccomplishedalotreinforcesyourbeliefofsuchapossibility.Youmightthinkthatyouaresimplyrelatingtothatperson,butthetruthisthatgutfeelingyouacquire,theenergythatyoufeelwhenyoureadorseeastoryaboutsuchanachiever,isyourmind’swayofredefiningitspossibilities.

JustlikeeverythingelseinallthreeCircles,beliefisbasedonwhatyouwitnessedinyourenvironmentandthatincludesthosearoundyou.Thisiswhysurroundingyourselfwithsuccessfulpeoplehelpsyoubecomesuccessful.Notbecausetheywillgiveyoumoneyorhelpyouachieve,butrathertheirconstant“cando”attitudeandtheirreachbeingsolarge.Itmakesyoubelievethatyou,too,canbelongtothatclassandachievebiggoals.Whenyoubelieve,youseekinformation.Whenyougaininformation,youact.Alloftheseobservationsandinformationleadyoutodesignthisveryniceroadmapforsuccessandoftenasaresultmakesyouaimforbiggergoalsthanyouthoughtwerepossible.

Asyougrowolder,yourbeliefismoreimpactedbyyourfriendsorentourage,butinyouryoungeryearsyourfamily’sbeliefsexertthemostinfluence.Understandingthatyourbeliefsarebasedonyourobservationsoflife’spossibilitiesenablesyoutokeepyourmindopentopossibilities.Halfoftheequationbehindhowbeliefiscreatedisbelievingthatyourpointofviewcouldbewrong;theotherhalfisbelievingthatit’sjustright.Ifthatholdstrue,thensomeoneelse’sbeliefisthesame,too.Forexample,youbelieveinonereligionandsomeoneelsebelievesinanother,ultimatelycreatingadisagreementuntilbothpartiesacceptthateitherbothreligionsaretrueorfalse.Sincewearenotallcreatedwithonebelief,wetendtooftendisagree,butultimately,thoseofyouwhoremainawareofthatbeliefissubjectivetoperspective.Thoseofyouthatanticipateother’sreactionsbasedontheirbeliefshavethatadvantage.

Sincebelieforiginatesfromthevisionoflifeyouhavecoupledwithyourunderstandingoftheinformationyousee,thenwhatkeepsyoufromseekinginformationregardingthingsyoudon’tseeyet?Notbelievinginonereligiondoesn’tmeanyoushouldn’tmaketheefforttolearnaboutitshistory,rules,andcustoms.Themoreyouknow,themoreyoucanrelatetoothersofthatbackgroundorcultureandunderstandtheirviewpointoflife.Ifyouunderstandotherpeople,andtheydon’tunderstandyou,itgivesyouauniqueperspectivetoleverageortweakthesituationsyouareintoyourliking.

ThereisaspecificexampleofthisIuseallthetime.Havingbeeninthefinanceindustryandinvolvedintheautomotiveindustrymostofmylife,Iunderstandhowtheyoperate.Whatyoumayormaynotknowisthatdealersmakemoneyoffthecar,theextrawarranties,andthefinancing.Eventhough,attimes,theycutyouagooddealonthevehicleitself,itisbecausetheyknowtheywillprofitonthebackend.Knowingthisinformationaswellashowmuchthedealerpaidforandinvestedinacar,Iconfidentlywalkintoadealershiplookinglostandconfused.Imakeanofferonacarveryclosetowhatthedealerhasinthecar,andpretendtowanttofinancethecar.Sothedealerthinksthatdespitemakingaharddeal,hewillmakemoneyelsewhere.Heacceptsmyoffer.Ithenwalkintotheafter-marketdepartment.Ihavenointentionofpurchasinganyoftheseproducts,butIshowgenuineinterestinthemandselectanadditionalwarrantypackagewherethedealerprofitsnicely.WhenIgettothefinanceoffice,IplaypoorandactasthoughIcannotaffordmymonthlypaymentsandforcethefinancemanagertolowerthecarcostitself,andforcehimtoremovethewarrantyasIclearlycannotaffordit.Atthispointthecaritselfisveryclosetothepricethedealerpaidforthecar,givingthemverylittleprofitfromthetransaction.IagreetoahigherratethanItypicallyqualifyforsothedealerfeels

confidentinthedeal.Priortofinalizingthedeal,Itakeoutmycheckbookandwriteacheckforthedownpayment.ItellthemthatifIcan’tcomeupwiththerestofthecash,theywillsimplystartmyloan.Ofcourse,Iwalkinadaylaterwithacheckforthebalanceofthepayment.Thisstrategyenablesmetonotonlybuycarsataminimumcostbasedontheirtruevalue,butsavesmethehassleandtimeofattendingauctionstogetacomparablevalue.Thisformofmanipulationdoesn’timpactanyonenegativelybutratherhelpscontrolmyenvironmenttogetthedesiredoutcome.

Thepointofthatstoryisnottoteachyouanewcarbuyingstrategy,butrathertoshowyouhowyoucanmanipulateyourenvironmentbasedonyourbeliefsandofthosearoundyou.Ifyouknowhowothersthinkandactthenyoucantailoryourapproachtofitthemjustenoughtogetwhatyouwant.Despitenotbeingexposedtoeveryaspectofsociety,thereisvalueinobtaininginformationaboutthingsyouarenotdirectlyinvolvedin.Thisinformationexpandsyourviewpointandyourbeliefs,ultimatelyenhancingyourchancesofbeinginthe“known”andhavingfewersetbacks.

Thelong-standingAmericandreamisbasedonthebeliefthatanyonecanmakeitinAmerica.Wheredidpeoplegetthatidea?DidtheyknowpeopleinAmericawhomadeit?Itisprimarilybecausefromaveryearlystageinoursociety,Americahasbeenknownforwelcomingimmigrantsintothecountry.Sinceworkwasn’tavailableintheirhomelands,thesepeoplecametoAmericatomakeabetterliving.Slowly,immigrantentrepreneursrevolutionizedtheworldandimmigrantswitnessedthelivesofthoseindividualsasaresult.SeeingotherimmigrantssucceedonthesamemissionpromptedpeopletobelievethatitispossibletobetheAmericansuccessstoryofstartingwithnothingandmakingitbig.

“Thatyoubelieveyoucanorcan’t,youaremostcertainlycorrect!”—HenryFord

Choice

Onceyourealizethatyourenvironmentdoesn’tdictatewhereandhowyouendup,youcanacceptthefactthatbeliefisnothingmorethaninformationtranslatedintoacceptance.ThenyouarefacedwithChoice.

ChoiceisthethirdelementoftheFirstCircleandplaysaninterestingroleinyourlife.Justabouteverythingyoudoordon’tdoinlifeisachoiceyou’vemadeorwillmake.Evennotdoinganythingisachoice.

Thefirstchoiceyoumakeinlifeiswhoyouseeinthemirror,andwhatyouhaveordon’thave.Someofyounevermovepastthisstage,becauseyoudon’tacceptyourcircumstance,alsoknownasyourbaseline.Yousitthereandblametheworldforyourcurrentsituationandgrowbitterratherthanacceptyouropportunityforgrowth.Evenifyouarenotoneofthem,weallknowsuchindividuals;theyareusuallyverynegativeandoftenhavepoorrelationswithfriendsandfamily,whomtheyblamefortheirshortcomings.Others,however—nomatterhowpoor,rich,healthy,orintelligent—acceptthat,regardlessofwhattheydo,theirpastistheirpastanditcannotbechanged.Moreimportantly,theyacceptthattheirfutureisintheirownhands.

Whenyoufinallychoosetoacceptwhoyouare,youobtaintheabilitytochoosethechangesyouwanttomakeinyourlife.Thesechangescanbeanythingfromhowyouactorreact,tothingsyouwantordon’twanttobepartofanymore.Youcanchoosetochangeyourbehaviorsoraction,letgoofaddictions,andmakemorechoicesthatleadtoyourimprovedself.

Afteracceptance,thenextsetofchoicesisoftensetonthingsthatyouwantratherthanneedtoimprove.Itistruethatmostpeoplecanbegreedyinthisstage,soitisnaturalforalotoftheirchoicestobenefitnoonebutthemselves—suchaschoosingtoberichandhavetheluxurylifestyle.Choosingtolookpastsuchpersonalgainandvanityandinsteadmakingchoicestowardsself-improvementisthewaytotrulyimpactyourownlifeifyouwishtogrowfaster.

Thechoicetoberichisanimportantone,asitmeansmakingtheconsciousdecisiontoalignallyouractionstothechoiceyoumadeandbelievein.

Choosingtogofromsurvivor,someonewhospendseachdayhopingthenextonegetsbetter,endsupjustcontinuingasettledlifetoabuilder,someonewhomakeseachdaycountmorethantheprevious.Youliveyourlifeconformingtosociety,suchasearningapaycheck,beingpartofanorganization,havingafamilyetc.,butasaresultyouoften,becomeonlyasurvivor.Thesearethepeoplewholivetoseethenextday;theironlychoiceistobecomfortable,and

thereforetheirgoalsareoftensmallandreachedquickly.Theydon’tmakesignificantprogressinlifewiththesebabysteps.

Whenyoubecomesuccessfulandchoosetogofromsurvivortobuilder,youacceptthatyourlifeisinnoone’shandsbutyourown.Asaresult,youchoosetoletgoofallthefluff.Youchoosetopursuesuccessandignoretherulesthatconfinetheworldaroundyou.Youdecidethatyourhighgoalsmustbemetatanycostsandthatdistractionsinyourenvironmentdonotdictatewhoyouareorwhoyoubecome.Youcertainlychoosenottoallowyourenvironmenttodistractyoufromyourgoals.Choosingtogofromsurvivortobuilderisachoiceyoumustmakeatsomepointinyourlifeifyouplantoachieveself-actualization.Self-actualizationisrealizedbythosewholive,notjustexist.Whenyouaremoreawareoftheworldyoulivein,youcanmakethedecisionearlieroninlife.

SomeofyouwillgraduatethisCirclemuchfasterthanothers.Youdosobyfocusingyourchoicesonrepairingandstrengtheningyourshortcomingssoyoucanbuildastrongerfoundationforyourownfuture.Ifyoubypassthechoicetochangeandinsteadacceptwhoyouare,youneverseektoimproveyourcoreorobtaintheskillsetsyoulackbasedonyourpastandneedtosucceed.Manyofyoumoveforwardtoattainyourgoalsbeforetakingakeystep:reflectingonwhatyouneedinordertoreachyourgoals.Instead,youmakeoneattemptafteranothertoachieveratherthanslowdownandanalyzewhyyoumadethechoicetobeginwith.

Thoseofyouwhofocusonestablishingthefoundationofyourlifefirstcanputyourselfatahugeadvantagebychoosingyourcompetitionfromaveryearlystageandyourcompetitionisnoonebutyourself.Bydoingso,youareintheconstantpursuitofperfectionandreachhigherandhigherwitheachattempt.Ultimately,youarebetterequippedtoachievewhatotherscannotbecauseyoumadetheconsciouschoicetogrowandliveratherthansurviveandexist.

Makingthosechoicesearlyinyourlifeallowsyoutoalignthemtoyourgoalsinordertokeepmovingforward—untilyouhittheroadblockoffear.

Fear

Onceyoudefinesuccess,believeinthepossibility,andmakethechoicetosucceed,theenvironmentyouliveinisnolongeranobstacle.Thencomesthesinglegreatestemotionthatyoumustlearntocontrolandconquer—fear!

Whatisfear?Iconsiderfeartobethestrongestemotionasitoftencontributestoallofyourotheremotions.Fearisoftenmixedinand,attimes,hardtoseparate.Fearexistsonbothaconsciousandsubconsciousplatformandispresentinallaspectsofyourlife.Fromaveryyoungage,youobservefearallaroundyou.Thereisalmostnoonewhoovercomesalltheirfearsintheirlifetime,yetmanylearntolookpastandconfrontthem.Asachild,youwitnessthisphenomenonandtheemotionalrollercoasterthroughyourparents,friends,andrelationships.

Thinkaboutthefearthatachildgoesthroughwhenseparatedfromhisparentsbeforegoingtoschool.Asthekidgetsolder,hefindswaystomanagefearbyhavingstomachpaininordertoavoidgoingtoclasseswedidn’tenjoy.Thisevenperhapscarriedontoyourhighschoolandcollegeyearswithdifferentreasonsattachedtoit.Inthecontextofrelationships,youmighthavewitnessedyourparentsfighting,separating,ordivorcing,andthereforedevelopedafearofmarriage.Youchoosetostayawayfromthatcommitmentbasedonthisfearthatitwillsimplyfailinthewayyouwitnessedyourparents’relationship.Fearoffailurecanbeattributedtowhyyoudonotstartyourownbusinesses,asyouareafraidofalltheworkyouputinwithoutguarantees.Thelackofself-confidenceisonceagainrelatedtofearandallofthepoordecisionsthatcomewithit.

Whydoesfearplaysuchalargeroleinyourlife?Fearactslikeparalysistoyourmind.Themoreyouthinkaboutit,themoreyoufreeze.Youcan’tactinanycontextandsoyoufail.Sinceeverythingintheworldinvolvesmakingdecisions,fearconsumesalargeportionofyourlife.Whenyouover-analyzethingsoutoffearofmakingthewrongchoice,yougiveyourselfmanyreasonstotakenoaction.Ifyouthinkaboutyourearlieryearsandhowmanytimesyoupassedonopportunitiesordidn’tactoutoffear,youwillnoticethatallofyourdreamscouldhavecometruebynowifyouhadtakenactioninsteadofsuccumbingtofearofloss.

Agoodplacetoseethisfearrepresentedisthroughpeople’sspouses,relationships,orsignificantothers.Howmanytimeshaveyouwonderedhowagreatlookingpersoniswithanunattractivepartner?Youprobablyhaveyourowntheoryofwhythatishappening.Now,Icertainlyunderstandthatbeautyisnotonlyskindeepandalsointheeyeofthebeholder.Nonetheless,thereisa

generalnotionofwhatisconsideredbeautiful.Ifwethinkaboutthoseindividualswhosettledforalifethatcertainlywasn’twhattheyhadoriginallyenvisioned,thenwecanunderstandthereasontheydidsowasrootedinfear.Thesamecanbesaidofthoseofyouwhofallinloveveryeasily.Fearofbeingalonedrivestheemotionoflovetomanifestitselffaster.Ifthisfearispowerfulenough,yousettleforwhatyouhaveorwhatisaccessibleratherthanseekexactlywhatyouwant.WhenyoubecomethatSettler,youfindyourselfunhappyinyourchoiceinthelongrun.Yourealizeitwasdrivenbyfearandnottherightfit.

Theinterestingpart,however,remainsonwhyyouletgoofthisfearafterthefactratherthanbefore.Itisprimarilybecauseatsomepointyouareremindedofyourpotentialwhenyoumeetsomeonemoretoyourlikingoryouractualdesire,andinreturnthatpersonshowsinterestinyou.Awarenesskicksinthatbetteroptionswereavailabletobeginwith,creatingthecouragetoseekwhatyouwantratherthanwhatyouhadsimplyaccepted.

Fearisobservedheavilyinyourearlyteenyearsthroughyourinteractionswithothers.Youfearfailureinclassesoractivitiesyouarenotverygoodat.Youfearrejectionanddon’taskattractiveorpopularpeopleonadate.Thetypesoffearweobservearedividedintothosetwosimilartypes.

1.Fearofrejection

Fearofrejectionshowswhenyourparentsaredeclinedforbenefits,thejobtheywanted,oramortgage.Youseepeoplebeingrejectedfromathleticgroupsornotacceptedincertaincirclesoffriends.Youseesomeonerejectedandperhapsridiculedafteraskinganotherpersononadate,soyouasaresult,youdon’tgraduatepastthisfear.Yourconfidenceinyourabilitiesneverexpandsbeyondthelimitsofyourfears.

Asexplainedearlier,thereasonthoseindividualssettledforwhatwasinfrontofthemwasbecausetheynevermovedpastthisfear.Theirpastrejectionsmadethembelievetheywereonlyascapableastheirpastaccomplishments,whichinthiscasewouldbeverylittle.Ifyoualsothinkaboutpeerpressurewhenitcomestoalcoholordrugs,fearofrejectionbecomesamuchlargerproblem,aspublicacceptanceisveryimportanttothepeoplewhosufferfromthisfear.Gangmemberspreyonindividualswhohavenotovercomefearofrejection.Theyprovideawelcomeinclusionforpeoplewhohavebeenrejected,especiallyatayoungerage.Everyonewantstobelongandnoonewantstobealone.Everyopportunitytobelongisonethatthosewithmorefearsacceptwithoutapplying

logic.

Whenyouovercomethisfear,youbecomemoreselectiveastowhatyouwanttobelongtobecauseyoubelievemoreopportunitieswillcome.Yourecognizethatchoiceisanoption,andyousimplydon’tsettleforanything.

2.Fearoffailure

Thesecondfearislinkedtothefirstone.Fearoffailureisalsoobservedthroughoutmostchildhoodsandcomesbacktothosearoundyou.Failureisobservedallaroundyouandmisinterpretedbysociety.Failureinbusiness,failureinmarriage,andfailureineducationarelookeddownupon.Manyparentsdon’tadequatelyaddressfailurewiththeirchildren.Theseyoungstersdon’tunderstandthatgreatnessisn’tachievedinonetry.Peoplewhodon’tleavetoxicrelationshipsareusuallyinthatsituationbecausetheyinitiallyfearedrejection.Lettinggoofabadrelationshipwouldmeanadmittingfailureaswellasstartingalloveragain.Sotheystay,eventheSettler.

Entrepreneurshipissimilar,inthatmanywould-beinnovatorshaveideastheywanttoundertake,butveryfewsucceedorevenstart.Theunlikelihoodofsuccessandthelackofguaranteethatallyourhardworkwillpayoffpreventsthemfrompushingahead.Thisfearoffailureisthereasonsomepeopleremainpassengersinlife.Theyreactratherthansteertheirlivesforward.Ifyourpastenvironmentincludedthoseofindividualsyouobservedtakingmanyrisks,thenyouaremorelikelytotakeleapsoffaith.Iwitnessedmymothermovefromcountrytocountrywithoutanyfearsorregrets.Shedidn’thavemuchmoneyandassumedsignificantriskseachtime.Ialsosawherstartmultiplebusinesseswithouthavingthenecessaryexperience.Whilethesemaynotbethebestwaystogoaboutliving,theycertainlycontributedtowhyIcanassumemuchmoreriskthanothersandcanboldlyapproachmylife.Otherswatchedtheirparentscomplainingdailyastheyfollowthesame9-to-5routines.Ortheyhaveobservedindividualswhodonottakerisks,andasaresult,theydon’tfeelthattakingriskisneededinordertoprogress.

Ifyourelatefearingeneraltotheearliercomparisonofbeingbornintoawealthierorlessfortunatebackground,youcanidentifydifferentfearsthatconsumeeachgroup.Whenyouarebornwithlessmoney,thefearoffailingyourfamiliesandthefearofnotmakingmoneyissupplantedbyaboldnessthatpushesyoutotakesignificantrisks.Youfeelasthoughyouhavenochoicebuttostaredownthatfear.

Ontheotherend,beingbornintowealthincreasesthisfear.Thechildrenthatare

“privileged”fearthattheywilljeopardizeallthatwaspreviouslybuiltandsotheytakeamoreconservative,low-riskapproach.Thesefearsfollowyouasyougrowolderandcontinuetohauntyouindifferentcontexts.Youcanactuallypredictthepathofone’slifeonceyouunderstandthisconcept.Look,forexample,atthestereotypicalassumptionthatAfricanAmericansfromroughneighborhoodswillbecomecriminals.Raceholdsnoweight.Howyouwerebroughtup—notthecolorofyourskin—contributestoyourlifechoices.

Riskisanecessarypartofyourgrowthandfearisthesolereasonyoudon’ttakerisk.Awarenessofthesetworealitieswillhelpyouunderstandwhyyouareholdingyourselfbackfromexploringmoreareasinyourlife.Thinkabouthowmuchmoreyoucouldaccomplishifyouweren’tafraidtofail.Ultimately,yourfearsarebaseduponwhatyouhaven’tobserved,sothefearoftheunknowniswhatyoufearthemost.Notknowingifsomeonewillsay“yes”keepsyoufromaskingapersonforadate.Notknowingifyouwillsucceedinyourbusinesspreventsyoufromstartingalltogether.Youcancounterthefearoftheunknownbyobtaininginformationonatopic,whichwillthenbuildyourconfidence—thenextstageintheFirstCircle.

Confidence

Theunknowndrivesyourfears.Italsohurtsyourconfidence.Asyoucansee,allofthecategoriesintheFirstCircleareconnectedtooneanotherinmorewaysthanone.Yourconfidenceisadirectreflectionofbeliefinyourself.Thisbeliefisbasedonyourabilitytoovercomefearoffailureandrejection,andyourabilitytounderstandthatthemoreinformationyouhave,themorelikelyyouaretogainconfidenceandeliminatefear.Fearoftheunknown—themostcommonformoffear—caneasilybeavoidedandovercomewithinformation.Asyougetolder,youreceivemoreinformationandgainmoreexperiences.Allofthisknowledgeisalsohowyougraduatethecirclesoflife.AsyoustudytheThirdCircleTheory,youbecomemoreawareofthesituationandthereforeremainconsciousofwhyyoudowhatyoudoandarethewayyouare.Asaresult,youcanmakethechangesbecauseyouareaware,fearless,andconfident.

Let’ssayyouareamechanicandnoticearashonyourarmthatyouhaveneverseenbefore.Itlooksodd,andyoupanicthatitmightbeserious.Becauseyoudon’tknowwhatthisrashis,youareconsumedbyfear,whichpushesyoutoseekmedicalattentionimmediately.Thedoctortheninformsyouthattherashisnotdeadly;asimplecreamwillcureit.Therashisstillonyourarm,butitscauseandprognosisarenolongerunknown.Thepanicleavesyourbodyandmind.Youcanmoveon,nolongerworrying.Ifthesamerashweretooccurontheotherarm,youknowwhatitis.Theunknownisnowknown.Withthatknowledgecomestheconfidencethateverythingwillbeok.

Nowreversethisrole.You’rethedoctorandexperienceasimilarrashbutyouknowwhatitisand,therefore,havenofear.However,nowyourBMWbreaksdown.Thefearoftheunknownsetsinandthelackofknowledgeofautomechanicsshakesyourconfidence.

Thefearofpublicspeakingisverycommon,butsomepeoplemanagetoovercomeitquicklywhileothersneverdo.Someareextremelyconfidentanddon’tmindgettingonstage,evenwithoutfirstrehearsing.Otherswon’tevenstepupthere.Thisfearisbasedoncemoreonnothavingtheinformationaboutwhathappensonstagebeinginformedenoughaboutthetopicforyourpresentation.Ifyouhaveneverbeenonstagebeforeordon’tcommonlypracticethisskill,thisunfamiliarterritoryisunderstandablyscary.Youfearthereactionoftheaudience.Theunknownoncemorecreatesfear;fearthatcreatesdoubt,whichcreatesparalysisandpreventsyoufromtakingaction.

Anothergreatexamplewouldbetothinkofyouinyourtradeorcurrentroleat

work.Ifyouareinsalesorinaproduct-basedenvironment,thenyouunderstandthatproductknowledgemakesyoumoreeffectiveinyourrole.Thatispartlybecauseyourknowledgeempowersyourconfidence,whichiselevatedduringconversationswithclients.Theconfidence,inturn,createsmorecustomerbuy-infortheproductorbrand.Productknowledgeisnodifferentthanself-knowledge.Themoreyouknoworbelieveaboutyourself,thebetteryousellyourself.Ifyoubelievethatyouaregreatlookingandagreatvaluetoanyone’slife,youseenolimitationastowhomyouseekasapartner.Youbelieveyoudeservesomeoneofsimilarvaluestoyourself.Thisconfidenceisdemonstratedinyourapproachtoothersandquicklytranslatedintoenergythatisextremelyattractivetoothers.

Thisiswhysomenot-so-averageguysendupwithsupermodelgirlfriends,orviceversa.Onepartnershowcaseshighlevelsofconfidence,whichtheotherpersonlacks.Thepersonwiththemostconfidenceknowsexactlywhattheywantandwhytheywantit.Whileitmaynotbeamatchofsimilarvalue,theotherpartner’slackofbeliefinthemselvesmakesthemwonderwhysomeonewouldfindsomuchinterestinthem.Sothelessconfidentindividualseeksinformationaboutthatperson,andseespasttheinitialphysicalperception.Theybelievethatvalueequaltotheirbeautyexistselsewherewiththisindividualwhoapproachedthem.

Howdowebuildconfidencetoprogresstothenextphase?Confidenceultimatelycomesfromexperience,exposure,andyourabilitytolookbeyondyourfearsoftheunknown.Togainconfidencerequiresnothingmorethanpractice.Yourabilitytomovepastyourfearofrejectionenablesyourmindtopracticetheactbydoingallthosethingsyouareuncomfortabledoingsuchasinteractingwithothers,orspeakingonstage.Themoreyoupractice,thelessfearandthemoreconfidentyoubecomethatbeingsuccessfulisinyourhands.Withtimeandpractice,youwilldobetterandbetter.

Practiceturnstheactintoroutine.Similartothemechanicwiththerash,youmaketheoutcomeknown,whichbuildstheconfidencetohandlethesituationwithoutfear.Yourself-confidencecanbeincreasedwiththeconstantroutinesofstrongworkethics,productivityinyourday-to-daylife,andunwaveringawarenessofyourwell-being.Itisalsoimportanttoincreasetheamountofself-education.Themoreself-confidenceyouhaveandthehigherthegoalsyousetforyourself,thenthefartheryourreachextends.Onceyouattainalevelwhereyouthinkyoucanundertakeanything,yousparkapowerfuldesiretoinnovate.AlthoughbeingintheFirstCirclemeansyouarestillalongwayfrom

accomplishmentandfulfillment,youstartbuildingafoundationforthetraitsneededtosucceedinthelongrun,helpingyougetclosertothelifeyouseek.

Goals

Whenconfidenceismasteredandthefearoffailureisovercome,youreachthefirstphaseoffindingyourselfanddefiningyourpurpose.Goal-settingisthewaytosucceedinthisstage.Yousetupsmallgoalswhenyou’reyoungandfollowwithlargergoalswhenyouhavethecapacitytotakeonmoreandlargerprojects,basedonexperienceandknowledge.Goalsarenotonlybasedonwhatyouseeaspossible,butalsoonwhatyourexperiencesareinthepastandwhatyouseeasafitforyouandyourpersonality.Atthisstageofyourlife,however,youarestillintheFirstCircle.Here,thegoalsyousetforyourselfarefrequentlymoney-drivenorprimarilyfocusedonself-gains.Nonetheless,beingabletofulfillyourownneedsatthispointisveryimportant,asyousimplycannothelpothersifyouhaven’tbeenabletohelpyourself.

Whethermonetaryinnatureorsimplypracticeforagreatergainlater,comingupwithalistofattainablegoalsisgoodpracticetoguideyoutowardachievingthegreaterprizelater.Ifyoulearnfromanearlyagewhysettingandreachinggoalsisimportant,youwillgofartherinlife.Themoregoalsyousetandreach,themoreyourconfidencelevelrisesandtheloweryourfearoffailuresinks,freeingyourmindtofocusonharderprojectsinthelongrunandallowingyoutoraisethestakesofwhatyoudeempossible—pushingfartherandhardereverytime.

Howarewetaughttosetgoals?Earlyon,youmayhavebeentoldnottoreachforthestars,butratheraimforwhatispossible.Thisabsurdlylimitedapproachtolifemayhavebeenpasseddowntotoday’snewestgenerations,butit’stimetostashitaway.Thinkthepossibleandyoucertainlywillattainitwithhardwork,asthatisthewaythe“worker”thinks.

HereisagreatexampleofhowthisapproachisusedbyGenerationX.Inthelate1990’s,myuncle,averybraveworkerandchefdecidedtoopenarestaurant.HissolefocuswasonbringingasuccessfulMediterraneanrestauranttoaspecificcityinVirginiathatlackedsuchdiversity.Hismaingoalwastocreatesucharestaurant,cookawayinthekitchen,andincreaseprofits.Hedependedonthatrestaurantforhisincomesoheneededtoachievethelatterofhisgoals.Hesucceededforquiteawhile,butyearslater,hisprofitssloweddownabit.Runningtherestaurantbecamelotsofworkforverylittlemoney.Eventually,hisventurebecamenodifferentthanworkingforsomeoneelse,exceptwithtentimesmoreheadaches.

Hereiswheremyunclefailed.HisGenerationXmindsettaughthimtocreate

andthinkfortoday.Doingsorequiredhimtobeachefmakinggreatfoodtobringinmorepeople,whichwouldincreaseprofits.Tomorrow,however,hasbroughttheneedtoexpandthebrandacrossmultiplefootprintsandplatformswhileaconceptishot.Youcan’tstandstillandexpecttocompeteintoday’sdynamicculture.Eventually,theentrepreneurjustletsgoandmovesontoanewbusinesswhiletheexistingfranchisecontinuestofeedmoneyintohispocket.

Theownershipofaretailbusinessrequiresestablishingvalueforamarkettodayandthencreatingvalueforsomeoneelsetomorrow.Youneedtobuildresidualincomeratherthanworkformoneyincome.Apersoncanonlydothesamethingforsolongwithouthavinganychangesinmotivationorincreasedprofits.Whilerestaurantsaregreat,theyarelimitedastowhattheyproduceinincome—nomatterthetypeoffoodtheysell.Myuncleneverunderstoodwhathisreallong-termbusinessplanwas.Instead,heknewhowtosethisgoalsonhavingaproperrestaurantashehadseenthisinhispast.Myuncleneverlivedinorsawanenvironmentoffranchisingarestaurant.Instead,hismentalitytoldhimtocreateworkandearnmoney,notlong-termwealth.Bysettingsimplegoals,heattainedthem,butcouldn’tsustainhimselfoverthelongrunbecause,likeeveryoneelse,hehaslimitstowhathecando.Hisvisionandpracticesforbuildingabusinessiswhatheexperiencedandthereforewhathewillpassontootherswhoobservedhimlikefamilyandfriends.

TherealdifferencebetweenGenerationsXandYasitcomestobusinessisaccesstoinformationandclientsacrossaglobalplatformratherthanalocalone.Eventhoughthisnewglobalaccessexistsandisinfullplay,veryfewpeoplesettheirgoalstoreflecttheirpotentialorsettheirideastotakeadvantageofthat.Ifyoudo,however,youwillseesignificantresultssimilartohowFacebook,Google,andLinkedIngrewsoquickly.Theyallusedglobalresourcestoexpandtheirbrandsandtargetedtheentireworldastheirmarketplace.Innovationisnoweasierthanevertobringtolifeasresources,labor,andclientbasesareworldwide.Ifyourpastexperiences,learnings,andobservationshavealwaysbeenofaconservativebusiness,then,likemyuncle,youcreateabusinessforwork.Eventhoughyouknowit’spossible,yourmindtellsyouthatcreatingaproductthatwillinnovatetheworldissimplynotinyourdestinytocreate.Whatthislittlevoiceisreallysayingisthatyou’renotconfidentenoughtotakeonsucharesponsibility.

Thinkaboutgoalsinaglobalsense,similartotheworld‘snewbusinessmodel,whichallowsforbigger,better,andfurthergoalsthanbefore—loftiergoalsthatbenefitmorethanjustourselvesandaresettoonedayinnovateforthebenefitor

facilitationoftheworld.Assuchagoalisfairlylarge,youneedtosetmilestonesthathelpyouidentifywhenyouareontherightpathtobeabletoreachyourgoal.Youareinthisplacewhereyouenvisiontheselargegoals,butunfortunately,atthisstageinthisCircle,youarenotinacapacitytotakeiton.Still,youdon’twanttoachieveanythinglessthanyourdreams.Beingabletoundertakeyourlifelongdreamsandpurposeismorethanjustbeingabletoenvisionyourvictory.Youmustnotonlyunderstandwhattheoutcomeofyourprojectlookslike,butalsobeabletoseetheroadyoumusttravelandwhy“YOU”aretheonewhoisbestpositionedtotakethison.

Mybackgroundcertainlywasnotineducationnorwasitinhelpingpeople,butthroughoutmyfinancecareer,Iwasabletoidentifymystrengthofbeingabletoreadandcoachpeoplesotheycouldgrowtheirtalents.Asaresultofbeingabletohelpthemachievegrowth,Iacquiredtheknowledgetoleadthem.Ialsoestablishedmycredentialsasamoneyexpert,whichallowedmetovalidatemypositioninhelpingthemreachabetterfinancialstage.Alloftheseexperiences,coupledwithaproventrackrecord,increasedmyconfidenceenoughtoattempttohelpanentiregeneration,insteadofjust20orsopeopleayear.Ididn’tjustwakeuponedayandchoosethatIwantedtohelppeoplewithouthavingeverhelpedanyone.Myambitionsandlong-termgoalsresultedfrommyexperiences.Myabilitytoexpandpastthoseexperiencesandaligneverythingtogethermademethatperson.

Yourgoalsareaprojectionofyourbeliefs,whichwediscussedearlier.Theyarehighlyimpactedbyyourchoicesandabilitytoovercomefear,givingyoumoreconfidencethatyouindeedmadetherightchoice—enablingyoutocarryontilltheprojectiscompleteandthegoalmet.ThoseofyouwhorealizethishavemasteredthisphaseoftheFirstCircle.

Entourage

Asyousetthesehighgoalsforyourselfandaredriventosucceed,youstarttorealizethatthepeoplecurrentlyaroundyouarejustnotenoughtosucceed.Thediversityofviewpointsandtheirskillsetsaresimplynotenough,soyouseeknewfriendsandindividualsforyourentourage.Partlybecausepeopleevolveindifferentstages,thisnaturallyoccurswithtimeandchangesinyourlife.Asyouhaveamajorchangelikemarriage,youtendtostartmakingnewfriendsthatfitbothyouandyourpartner’sinterests.Yougravitatetowardothercouples,andyounaturallyattractpeoplewhobelieveinwhatyoubelieveandwhosharesimilaritieswithyou,suchasstatus,interests,work,children,orjustaboutanythingelseyoufeeldifferentiatesyoufromothers.Inotherwords,ifyouseeotherswhoshareyouruniqueness,thenyounaturallyareattractedtothemanddecidetoshareyourcommonbelief,whichcreatesnewrelationshipsforyou.

Thisishowyouchooseyourfriends.Asyougrow,yourinterestsarelifestyle-oriented,butasyougrowolderyoubecomemoreseriousaboutlifeandnoticethatyourinterestsshifttosuccess,entrepreneurship,and,ofcourse,moneystartsbecomingmoredominantthanbefore.Whileyoushowtheseintereststoyourexistingnetworkorentourage,youdiscoverthattheirinterestshavenotevolved,whichcreatesaseparationbetweenyou.Theymightfeelabandoned,asthoughyousomehowfeelthatyouaresuperiortoyourfriends.Thisiswheretheline“ifyouarenotgoingtobearoundduringmystruggles,youwon’tbethereduringmysuccess”comesfrom.Youfeelasaloneandabandonedastheydo,butnomatterhowyoutrytoreconnect,yousimplycan’t.

Yourconfidence,beliefs,andgoalsarenowentirelydifferentfromthoseofthepeopleyoucalledyourfriends.Thisphaseisthebeginningofyourself-discovery.Itisalsothetimewhenyouaremostvulnerable.Thisiswheretheselfhelpindustrythrives;itbecomesthatguidance,friendship,andvalueyou’vebeenmissing.Itisveryeasyforyoutolookuptothewrongpeople.Withtheselfhelpgurus,youwanttobelieveyouhavefoundyourmessiah,yournewbestfriend,andtheonewhowillguideyoualongthepaththatisblurrytoyou,butseemscleartothem.

Youdiscoveraboutyourselfthatyouwantopportunity.Therefore,thiscriticalpartofyourjourneyinlifecanbecomeverysourbeforeitgetssweet.Yourdesiretobelongbecomesstrongerthaneverbeforeandyouseekanswers.Peoplelikeselfhelpgurusandmulti-levelmarketingcompaniesunderstandthisscenarioandcapitalizeonit.Intoomanyinstances,theyendupdoingnothingmorethantakingmoneyandtimeawayfromyou.

Thisburningdesiretosucceed,coupledwithnewfearsoftheunknown,whichyouhaven’tventuredintoyet,createsthishungerforimmediateanswersandsolutions.Unfortunately,theydon’texist.Ifyourfoundationisn’tstrongenough,itbecomesdifficulttoseparateyourselffromtheactofinstantgratification.Youdon’tunderstandandhavenotwitnessedtherightbehaviorsinyourpast,soyoudon’thaveenoughinformationtoformconclusions.Allyoubelieveisquestioned,rarelydoyouhavetherightpeoplearoundyou.Asaresult,youreallydon’tknowwhomtotrustorrelyon.

Theneedforinstantgratificationisalikeabadfear—thefeartofail,coupledwiththefeartobeleftbehind.Thefearoffailingpreventsyoufromactingforthelongterm,yetyourconstantpursuitofcatchinguptothosenewpeoplearoundyoumakesitimpossibletofindbalance.Soyouattemptnewprojects,ventures,andbusinesses,butneverseethemsucceed.Inexchange,youacceptthenextthingyoubelievewillmakeyoumoney.Thisbadhabitisonemanynevergrowpast,primarilybecauseoftheircontinuedfearsandtheirinabilitytomovepastthemthatkeepstheminthisphase.

Yourentouragepresentsthesolutionforleveragingyourselfoutofyourfears.Yournewobservationsaresimilartothepastones,butsimplytakelonger.Younolongerjustacceptwhatyousee,butquestionit.Thosewhomyouidentifywithwillmakethetruedifferenceinyourlife.Butrememberthatyouarehungryforobservationsandlearning,soyoumustbeverycarefulinidentifyingwiththerightindividualswhocanindeedshowyoutherightpath,ratherthanonethatbenefitsonlythemselves.Selectindividualswithsimilarinterests,butwhosebehaviorsandsuccessisactuallydefinedaswhatyouwantyourstolooklike.Iamreferringtopeoplewhoaredoers,nottalkers.Thoseindividualswholivethelifeyouwantandwhopossessthesameattitudetowardlifethatyouwantarethoseyoumustincludeinyourentourage.

Attitudeisimportantbecausebeliefismorethanjustinterest;itisbasedonacommonfeelingtowardsthatinterest.Manyguyslovecars,butnotallofthemlikethesametypesofcars.That’swhycarclubsoftenincludesimilargenresofcarsandnotallcars.Differentpeople,nomatterhowcommontheirinterests,feeldifferentaboutthoseinterests.Somanydifferentattitudescanbehadtowardsthesameinterestthatitismostimportantthatyouseekanentourageinbusinessandsuccesswithasimilarattitudeasyourown—whichweoftenforgettoidentifywith.Ifwerefertoayoungentrepreneurwhodidwellforhimself,yetholdsasignificantarrogancetowardsothersandrunsbyhimselfratherthanhelpsthosearoundhim,thenitismostlikelytruethathewillalways

choosehimself.Hisattitudetowardssuccessisindeeddifferentfromyours.Asmuchashismentorshipwillholdperhapssomegoodcomponents,itmayalsodomoredamagethanyoumayforeseeupfront.

Selectingtherightentouragewillhelpyougraduatemuchfasterthanothersandbuytimeforyourselfasguidanceandbehaviorscanbeobservedfasterthanothers.Keepinmindthatdespitelosingtime,itisbettertonotgothewrongway,onlytohavetopullaU-turnbecauseyourealizeyouhavebeenmisled.ThosewhomaintaintherightentourageopentheireyestotheSecondCirclebyobservinghowotherswhohavegraduatedtheFirstCirclebehave.ItlooksveryappealingasthenextCircleisanewworldandanewpath.Ultimately,itisthestrongemotionofgreedandwantingtobelongtoanelitegroup,whichyounowhaveidentifiedandwitnessed.

Time

TimeisthefinalphaseoftheFirstCircle.HowyouperceiveitsvalueiswhatenablesyoutograduatethisCircleandmoveontothenextphaseofyourlife.Timeitselfissomethingthatyouoftentakeforgrantedwithoutevenrealizingit.Whileyouwaitandentertainyourself,othersaretakingfulladvantageoftheirtimetoprogressinsocietyandmovetheirideas,lives,andbeliefsforward.

Youmightnowunderstandorcareabouttheeffectthatlosingtimehasonyourlife.Evenifyouseemtounderstandearlyonthatthereisnomakingupforlosttime,youdon’tseemtoshowanurgencyinusingyourtime—unlikethewayyoufeelaboutmoney,which,fromanearlyage,isalwaysthedriverofwhyyoudowhatyoudo.Yougooutofyourwaytoattainmoneybutitseemslikeyouneverlookathowmuchtimeyouaregivingupinexchangeandwhatthatvaluereallyisworth.

Youmaybetaughtfromanearlyagethatyoushouldn’twastetimeasitisprecious,butyouareseldomremindedofthisadvice.Youarealsotoldthatyouliveonceandshouldthereforeliveitup,yetyouareseldomremindedofwhatthatmeansincontext.Youarealsotoldthatlivingfortodayandnottomorrowwillgiveyoumorepleasureoutoflife,yetyou’renevershownthatamazingpeoplestillneededtenyearstobuildempiresandthateachdayconsistedofbuildinguponthefoundationofthepreviousday.Ourfoundationandunderstandingoftimeisactuallynotbuiltasmuchfromourobservationlikeeverythingelse,butratherourcircumstanceandourvalueofmoney.Howyouvaluemoneydictateshowmuchyouunderstandtime,whichiswherethephrase“Time=Money”comesfrom.Howeverhowyouvaluemoneydoescomefromobservationsandexperiencesgrowingup,soitdeliversalargeimpactonyourunderstandingofwhattodowithyourtimeandtheweightitholdsonhowyoumakemoney.Letmetrytobreakthecomplexityoftimeintoreallifeexamples.

Let’ssayChrisisbornintoamoderatetopoorhousehold.Hehasconstantlybeenremindedbyhisparentsofhowimportantitistomakemoney,sohehasdevelopedanurgencyaboutit.SinceChrishasneverbeentaughtthetruevalueoftime,hewillmakeasmuchmoneyashecaninthemoment,ratherthanstrategicallygrowhisskillset.Sohecreatesshort-termincomeinsteadofalongerandlargergainlater.Histimehasnovalueotherthanhowmuchmoneyhecantradeitfor.Healsohasneverhadexamplesorexperiencesinhislifethatshowedotherwaysofvaluingtime.Now,ifChris’sentouragehadbeenselectedproperly,theywouldhaveshownhimanewwayofthinking.Theoddsaren’tgreatthough,becauseweattractthosewhoshowcasewhatwebelieve,andthe

peopleChrismostlikelylooksupareallrichforthemoment.Unlesshechangeshisviewpointonhowtimecanbeleveragedforthingsotherthanmoney,hewillneverlearnhowtogrowratherthansurvive.

NowRob,ontheotherhand,wasbornintoaratherwelleducatedandfinanciallysecurefamily.Hehasnourgencyformakingmoney,butdoesunderstandthelong-termvalueofbuildingafoundationwitheducation,time,andmoney.PartlybecauseRobisn’tdependentonearningmoney,hisunderstandingofthevalueoftimeincreases.Thatdoesn’tmeanheunderstandswhattodowithtime.Robknowswhytimedoesn’ttranslateintoimmediatemoneyandthatinvestingtimeinotheraspectsmakessense.Thislackofurgencycomesfromseeingthatthefamilyconversationsaren’tcenteredontheneedformoney,butratherfocusesonlivingwell.Thisperspectivecanalsohaveanegativeimpact,becauseRobfeelsliketimecanbewasted,sincethelackofurgencymeanswhattaskscanwait,soheprocrastinates.

Bothsituationshavetheirpositiveandnegativeimpacts,liketheindividual’sabilitytovaluetime.Ineitherscenario,theindividualmustself-reflectwithhonestyastohowtheyspendtheirtimeinordertochangeandgraduatetothenextcyclesoftheirlives.

Howmanytimesdoyouhearpeoplearoundyousay,“Ijustdon’thavetime”?Havingtimeisachoicethatisnodifferentfromspendingmoney.Similartootherresourcesthatbecomescarce,timerunsoutandsodoesmoney.Youmustchoosehowtoinvestyourtimeandunderstandthereturnyouwillgetfromthatinvestment.

Ifyouchoosetogotothebeachforawholeday,youforegoworkingandmakingmoneyfortheday.Youalsogaveuptheopportunitytofurthereducateyourselfonsomethingnew,developanideaorbusiness,networkwithothers,orjustaboutanythingresult-producingactivityyoucouldhavedonewithyourtime.Youhavetoaskyourselfifthebeachdaywasworththeexchange.Howdidthatallotmentofyourtimealignwithyourlong-termgoals?

Hereisaclearexampleofhowyouhavetothinkaboutthevalueoftime:

Youownacompanyandlackthemanpower,money,andresourcestobuilditup—justlikeeveryothergreatstart-upintheworld.Spendinganentiredayatthebeachremovesyoufromthebusinessandpreventsyoufrommovingforwardonthefoundationyouarebuilding.Now,ifyoufeeloverworkedandunproductive,relaxingonthebeachtorechargeyourbatteriesisagreatuseofyourtime.

Thesamedecisiontogotothebeachcanbeviewedintwodifferentways—one

isproductive,whiletheotherislazyandselfish,butbothendswithyouonthebeach.Basedonyourself-awareness,youmustfindbalancesoyoudon’tcreatefalsepretexts—andactuallyenduponthebeachdailywithoutmakingprogress.

Choosinghowyouspendyourtimeenablesyoutogainmoreinformation,whichhelpsyoutoaccomplishmoreinadaythanmostpeople.Imagineifyougotoworkandactuallywork100percentofthetime—whichishighlyunrealistic,butthinkabouthowmuchmoreyouwouldgetdone.Imaginehowmanymorebonuses,promotions,andinformationyoucouldgain.

Nowimagineyouworkedonly60percentofthetimeyouarethereasaboutmostproductiveAmericansdo.Whatishappeningtotheother40percentofyourtime?Itisbeingthrownaway,asnopositiveoutcomecancomefromdoingnothing.Sinceyouareobligatedtospendacertainamountoftimeatwork,howyouuseyourtimemattersheavily.Youneedtolearntodomorewhileyou’reatwork,sothatonceyouaredonefortheday,yourmindcanleaveworkbehind,knowingyouaredoinggreatandcanfullyfocusonotherthings.Younaturallywasteasignificantamountoftimebetweenactivities,suchasbetweenthetimeyougethome,eat,orperhapssleepingintill11thenextdaybecauseyouwentouttill3a.m.Allofthesein-betweentimesyouspendonentertainmentandleisurecanbeconvertedtoproductiveandeffectiveworktimedirectlyalignedtoyourgoals.Ifyoudon’tgoouttill3a.m.,youcanworktill2a.m.andwakeupat9a.m.insteadandworkagainfortwohours.Thesefourhoursalonecouldbetranslatedintomovingyourlifeforwardifyoufocusonwhatyouneedandnotwhatyouwant.

Therealproblemhereisthatwhenyouareplayingatworking,youarenotyetpassionate.Youwon’tfindsomethingthatmovesyousoprofoundlythatyoubelieveitsvaluetobeaboveyourown.Onceyoureachthispoint,youmakethetimeforit.Thinkaboutthelasttimeyouwereinlove.Eventhoughitseemedatfirstyouneverhadenoughtimeforeachother,yousomehowmanagedtobetogetherbecauseyourearrangedyourscheduletomakeitwork.Thisfeelingofputtinglovebeforeyourselfiswhatdrivesyoutofindmorevalueincreatingtimeordivertingtimeresourcestoit.

Mostfailuresinbusinessstemfromtheinabilitytocreateresourcesandputthemtogooduse,withtimebeingthemostpreciousone.Whenyoulearntocontrolhowyouunderstandandvaluetime,thenyoucanberesourcefulinstead.Whenusingexcuseslike“Idon’thavetime”,you’resimplyrationalizingabadchoiceofhowyouinvestyourprecioustime.Thatchoiceisbasedontheother

stagesintheFirstCircle—yourentourage,confidence,fears,andvaluesandbeliefs.Allofthosetogethercreatewhatyouunderstandtobeyourvalue,whichyoucanthendivideintotheallotments.

We’vecoveredthescopeofwhatenablessomeonetograduatetheFirstCircle,althoughveryfewpeopledo.Unfortunately,themajorityofthepopulationstaysinthisscopeofthinkingtheirentirelife.Theyaremarkedas“Followers”bythoseofyouwhodograduatethefirststepofyourlife.Ifyouthinkabouttheword“follower”,youenvisionsomeonewhodoesnottakeinitiative,someonewhodoesnothingmorethanfollowthenormorthepaththatothershaveprovidedthemtotravel.ThinkaboutthethreetitlesItoldyouaboutearlier:TheBirth,TheSettler,andTheDreamer.Allthreearefollower-likeattributes;noneofthemreflectapersonwhoshowsinitiative.Whenyouareborn,youarebornbysomeoneelse’saction.Howeverfromyouryouth,youcanchoosewhereyougoinlife.Perhapsyoufeelit’seasiertosettleandfollowothers.Whenyoucansetgoals,youfearfailureandchoosetodreaminsteadoftakingaction.YouchoosetonottakeownershipofyouroutcomesandmovethroughthethreestagesoftheFirstCircleratherthangraduatetothenext.Thelackofactionisalsoachoiceandonethatkeepsyouinalifethatisdictatedbythevisionofothers.

Therealdifferencebetweengoal-settinganddreamingisverysimilartothedifferencebetweenthoseintheFirstandtheSecondCircles.Itisthepowerofactionsandreactionsthatcomefromthem.Manycouldarguethatsettinghighgoalsforyourselfisthesameasdreaming—andtheywouldbewrong!Thereisasimilarpossibilitythatyourgoalisthesameassomeoneelse’sdream.Manypeopledreamofowningamillion-dollarhomeandotherssetgoalsforthesame,butthetwoindividualsandthetwoactionscannotco-exist.Whenyoudreamaboutanaccomplishmentratherthanaspiretoworktowardsit,itisbecauseofyourlackofconfidenceinyourselfandyourinabilitytoreachit,andthereforeyousimplyenvisionadreamofpossibilities.Yourvisionofyourselfandyourabilitiescertainlymakeyoufeellikeitisunreachableandthereforemakesyoutakenoactiontowardsit.Itremainsjustadream.

Ontheotherhand,ifyougraduatetheFirstCircle,youseethedreamasagoalinstead—somethingyoucanseeyourselfreaching.Longorshortinnature,youbelieveyourselfcapableofreachingit.Youknowthatyouractionswilleventuallyleadyouthere;nomatterthetimeittakestoactuallyreachthem.Themaindifferentiatoristhat“ACTION”iswhatdrivesresults.Youarepastthestageofdreaming.

TheFirstCircleindividualslacktheabilitytotakeownershipoftheirlivesandconstantlyblametheirenvironmentforinaction.Youwilloftenhearthemcomplainaboutbeingthevictimanddislikingthingsliketheirjoborlivingsituation.Theyplacetheblamefortheirshortcomingsonotherswhomtheybelievedon’tunderstandthemandorrecognizetheirvalue.TheseFirstCircleresidentsfailtorealizewhattheAmericandreamis,becausetheydon’tseethatitistheirworkthatwillcreatetheirnewstory,nottheirenvironment.Theideaofchange,growing,improving,orjustabouthoweveryoudefineprogressinginlifecomesfromyourabilitytounderstandthatyouarethedriverofthoseactions.Youandyoualoneincitethereactionsthatresult.YourlazinessalsohasareactionandcanmeanthatyouremainintheFirstCircle.

Whenyoutakeownershipofyourroleandyourfuturebyovercomingthoseeightattributesandbeinghonestaboutwhereyoustand,thenyoucanmaketheconsciouschoicetoimprovethroughactionsandinformation.Thisleadsyoutoseemoreoflife.WhenyouremainintheFirstCircle,youliveinaworldcreatedbyothersandarenotcapableofseeingtheirplansforyou.Youfollowthepathratherthanseekouttheshortcutstobeatingtheodds.Thinkaboutthecircleitselfandmyearlierdescription—thebeliefthattheworldrevolvesaroundyouatallstagesintheFirstCircle.Itisbecauseyouarebothself-centeredandselfish.Yetsomepeoplethinkingthattheworldrevolvesaroundthemstilldon’tdoanythingatall.Ifyoubelievethatyoucontroltheworldandyettakenoaction,thenwhatcanpossiblyhappen?

TheFirstCircleSummary:SowhatdidyoulearnabouttheFirstCircle?Itdefineswhoyouareandwhattypeofpersonalityorskillsetyoupossess.Itisallaboutlearning,growing,andunderstandingmoreaboutyourself.It’saboutyou,andtheworlddoesrevolvearoundyou,whichinthiscaseisokandyoushouldn’tbeexpectedtodoanymorethanjustthat.Betweenyourentourage,yourtime,yourgoals,etc.,itisconstantlyfocusedonyou.TheSecondCircle,however,isbitmorecomplex.

IfyouarestillintheFirstCircle,youmightfeelthatyouarenotprogressingatyourwork;yourroutinesathomedon’tbecomebetterwithtimebutratherareprolonged.Youstruggletofindyourvoiceattimesandknowyoushouldspeakup.Youoftenlookbackatyourchoicesandwishyoucouldchangeyourpastactions.Youoftenfindyourselftornbetweendoingtherightthingorjusttherightthingthatwillbenefityouandinmostcaseslosethatbattlewithyourself.

TheSecondCircle

Let’smoveontotheattributesthatapersongainsaftertheygraduateintotheSecondCircle.KeepinmindthatthereisnosetpacetomovethroughtheCircleortograduatefromonetothenext—orevenaguaranteeifyouwill.TheonlyconstantisthateveryonestartsattheFirstCircle.Mostpeopleexperiencecyclesinthesamemannerandbuilduponexperiencesthesameway.Somewillmakequickprogress,butthemajoritywon’tevenunderstandtheexistenceoftheSecondCircletillmuchlater.

Hereisanexample:Somepeopledon’tbuytheirfirsthometilltheirearly30’sandwhileothersbuythemearlier.Themajoritybuysthemaroundthesameagepartlybecausetheygraduateschoolatthesametime(fouryearsafterhighschool)andhaveafewyearstobuildanincome,andbecomefinanciallyresponsibleenoughtobuyahouse.

Thismethodologytolife’scyclescanbeidentifiedinmorewaysthanjustmoney.Therearesystemsandmatricesinplaceforgovernment,corporateAmerica,finance,marketing,etc.Justabouteverythingyouseeispartofabiggerpicturethathasbeencreatedsystematicallybysomeoneelse.Thesesystemsalltieintogethertocreateasocietyandeverypersonandeveryinstitutionororganizationplaysaroleinthissociety.Moreimportantly,everyonechoosestheirrole(whichiswhyyouchoosewhatdegreetoearnorjobtoapplyfor).Fromthere,youkeepplayingorchangeyourplayingfield.Thebiggerconsiderationhereisthatsocietyitselfdoesn’tdramaticallychange,butitsstructureandhowyoufunctionwithinitdoes.Newfields,jobs,andsupportgroupsarecreated.Newinnovationsenterthemarket,changingtheplayingfieldandrules,butnotthemarketitself.Thisiswhatyoucall“innovation”and“progression”,andwitheachchangecomesopportunity.Toidentifysuchopportunity,youmustnotonlyunderstandwhatthesesystemsare,butalsorecognizehowtheyfunctionsothatultimatelyyoucangaugewhereyoufitintothemix.Inordertodoso,youmustincreaseyourawarenesstoyoursurroundings.

ThisawarenesscomesfromthesixattributesfoundintheSecondCircle:Education,Money,Habits,Emotions,Leadership,andPerception.GoodeducationandmoneyplayasignificantroleintheSecondCircle.Ifyouhavemoreaccesstothesetwothings,yougetaslightheadstartastheyholdmore

weightthansomeoftheothers,likeemotionsandhabits,whicharelearnedmorequicklybythosebornintofamilieswithlessaccesstoeducationormoney.

Regardlessofanyhandicapyouhavefromthecircumstanceyouarebornin,youstillhavetomastereachelementinordertograduatetothethirdphaseoftheThirdCircleTheory.Sinceonlytwopercentoftheworldreachesthispinnacle,don’tbetooconcernedifyoustillhaveawaystogo.MostoftheplanetwillcontinuetolivewithinthetwofirstCircles.Eventhoughthisbookshouldhelpyourealize“how”tomovepasttheSecondCircle,youcertainlyhaveasignificantamountofworkaheadofyouonceyougetthereinordertoreachtheThirdCircle.

TheSecondCirclefocusesontheAwakening,theLeader,andtheAchiever.DespitethefactthatmostpeoplemanifesttraitsofeachattributeintheSecondCircleduringtheirFirstCirclecycle,theycertainlydon’tbelongtothiscirclejustyet.BeforeyoumaketheshifttotheSecondCircle,youmustgrowyourawarenesssothatyouarenolongerreactivetosocietyandcanholdyourselfaccountableforthoseyoulead.Youalsoneedtounderstandhowtoachieveandinnovate;herearetheattributesthatwillenableyoutodoso.

Education

Educationisavasttopicbecauseitisalmostnever-ending.WhenyouthinkofeducationwithintheCircles’context,thinkofinformationyougainedratherthanformal,school-basedprograms.

WhenyourmindovercomestheattributesoftheFirstCircle,youcanidentifythoseconceptswediscussedearlier.Byapplyingyourcuriosity,youstartquestioningwhythingsexistandwhattheirpurposeis.Youattempttounderstandwhichsystemtheybelongto.

Curiosityfeedstheneedforanswers.Ourmindsnaturallyseekanswerstoeliminatefear.Referbacktoourmechanic/doctorstoryearlierandputyourselfinthedoctor’sshoes.Ifyouwereabouttopurchaseausedcar,youwouldinvestigateallthereistoknowaboutthecar—itsmaintenance,history,andmore—justtobebetterinformedaboutyourpurchaseandtoeliminatedoubtaboutyourdecision.Thisdoubtisanotherwayofsayingyou’reafraidofmakingthewrongdecisionorafraidofwhatmayhappenasaresult.Withcuriosityanddoubt,youneedtoinvestigatesothatyoufeelempoweredandmaketherightdecision.Inreality,allyouaredoingisremovingtheunknownelement,whichwediscussedearlierasbeingtheprimarycreatoroffear.

Seekinginformationiseasyandmanysourcesexistallaroundus.Fromtheeducationwereceivefromfriendsintheindustrytotheinternet,weseemtobegoodatfindinginformation,butoftenneedthatinformationrepeatedinordertovalidateourbeliefofwhatwesee,learn,orhear.Thisiswhytheeducationsystemisprogressiveinnature.Itisdesignedtoenhanceandreinforcepreviouslearningwithnewlearning,whichthenincreasesyourbeliefintheinformation.Yourbelief,whichwediscussedearlier,hasasignificantimpactonhowyoureceiveinformation,andsoeventhoughinformationmaybefactualinnature,youcertainlywillnotentertainitifyoudon’tbelieveit.ThisiswhypeopleintheFirstCirclecanbeverynarrow-mindedintheirperspectiveanddon’tgraduatepasttheFirstCircle.Itispartlyduetotheemotionalconnectiontoyourbelief,whichpreventsyoufromacceptinganalternativepointofview.Inordertoreceiveandacceptinformationandenableittohelpyouseemoreoflife’scycles,youmustreleaseyouremotionstowardsthosebeliefsandinsteadconsiderallinformationastrueorfalse.Rememberthatwhatistruetoyoumaybefalsetosomeoneelse,andviceversa.AlternaterealitiesexiststrictlybasedonwhatyouseeandweallseedifferentlyasyouidentifiedintheFirstCircle.

Educationexistsinthreedifferentsegmentsofyourlife.Thereisagrandscheme

behindoneofthem,theoneyouareallforcedtoattendduringthefirst18yearsofyourlives.FormalSchooleducationteachesushowtoliveandsurvivewithinoursociety.Itisthefirstexposureyouhavetotangiblesimplebusinessinformation,andpartlybecause,atsuchayoungage,youaretoldtoobserveyourparentsandlookuptoyourteachersasrespectedindividuals.Ourphilosophiesasasocietyhavebeentorespectandelevateteachersinto“knowitall”individualswhohelpyourparentseducateyourchildren.Byreceivinginformationfromthem,youaresupposedtodevelopabetterunderstandingofsocietywiththeultimategoalofchoosingthepathtotaketomakeyourowncontributiontosociety.

Nonetheless,thepathsandrolesyoucanchoosefromareallpartoflife’sgranddesignsthatwerepreviouslycreatedbyothers.Therearepre-determinedpathsifyouwishtotakeontheunknownorperhapsdonotwishtobepartofthegrandscheme.Ifyouhavebeenlabeledan“outcast”becauseyoufailedtograduatefromschool,youhavebeensingledoutforyourinability,wheninrealityyouneverhadthedesireto.Somehowyouviewthislackofasingleaccomplishmentasafailureandallowyourselftofeelshame.Thisisthereasonwhyragstorichesstoriestendtobesoinspiringtoeveryonewhofeelsthesameabouteducationorhasnoaccesstoeducation.

Earlier,wediscussedthedifferencebetweenthosebornintodifferentmonetarycircumstances.Yourobservationsregardingeducationfromayoungagearealignedtoyourcircumstanceaswell.Onemorewithurgencyasameanstoanendbecauseofthelackofmoney,whiletheotherapathtoreachthelongtermaspirationsoftheirfamiliestokeepbuildingonthewealthfoundationtheywereborninto.Thinkabouthowsegregateduniversitiesareinthesamefashion.Thecostandtheconnectionsafamilymusthavetoattainalevelofeducationabovetherestcreatesadividebetweenthevariousincomelevels.Ifyourfinancialstatusgivesyouevenlessexposuretotheotherside,youcontinueyourone-sidedapproach.Maybeyoumustlearnfromalessexpensivecommunitycollege,wheretheteachersarelessexperienced.Thesestudentshaveahigherprobabilityofquittingasthevalueisn’tthereanditsimplydoesn’tmakesensetostayunlessaverystrongreasonkeepsthemthere,asbeliefalonewon’t.Yoursuccesshereultimatelycomesfromyourabilitytotolerateyourcircumstanceuntilyouareabletochangesidesandlearnmoreofwhat’soutthere.

Asyouevolve,youmightlearnfasterthanothersthateducation—evenifformalorexpensiveinnature—isnothingmorethanacompilationofinformation.Ifyouacceptthatinformationtobeneithertruenorfalse,thenyour

mindisfreertoabsorbalotofinformation.Whenyoucanunderstandthattheinformationprovidedisonlygenericandthatmoreinformationcertainlyexistsonthetopic,youstarttocraveandseekmore,thusadvancingyoureducation.Thisisusuallyhowacollegestudentidentifieswhichmajortopursueincollegeorthefieldtoworkin.Thereasonthatprofessionslikepoliceofficers,firefighters,astronauts,rockstars,anddoctorsaremorepopularamongyoungstersissimplybecausethoseprofessionsaretelevisedandhighlightedmoreonthenews,TV,ormovies.Curiosity,whichisderivedfromobservation,israisedatanearlyage.Throughfurthereducationandinformation,youcometorecognizehowthoseprofessionsdon’taligntoyourskillsets.Yourlackofconfidencepreventsyoufrompursuingyourdreams(whichatthatpointarenothingmorethandreamssinceyoudon’tseethemasattainable).

Asyouchoosetofurtherenhanceyourscopeofinformation,youseekadifferenttypeofeducation.Throughself-education,youdiscoverthatinformationflowsquitefreelyonjustabouteverytopic.Unfortunately,itiseasytomixopinionswithfactwhenfindinginformation,andaccuracybecomeshardtodistinguish.Butlet’sthinkaboutopinionsandunderstandwhatyouattempttodistinguish.Isn’tallinformationsomeone’sopinionoftheirownreality?

Atsomepointoranother,aformulatedopinionbecameanacceptedviewbythemasses,andthengrewintoafact.Thebeautyofself-educationisthatitismoreaboutpersonalopinionsratherthanproveninformation.Itisonewaytolookatacertainsituation—andonlyone.Ifyouhearthesameinformationoverandoveragain,thenyoueventuallyaccepttheinformationanddon’tseekanalternateanswerormoreinformation.However,ifyoudifferwithoneman’sopinion,thenyoucontinuetoseekmoreinformation.Ultimately,yourself-educationteachesyouhowthesystemworks,andyoudon’tjustacceptthesystemyouareshown.

Diversityinitiatesinnovation,asoneman’sviewoftheworlddiffersfromanother.Themoreyouunderstandhowothersthink,thebetterpositionedyouaretocreateyourownopinionusingallyouobservedandheard.Theimportantfactorhereisthatmostpeopleagreeordisagreewithanopinion,butrarelylookatitassimpleinformation.Theyfailtounderstandthateducationisnotaboutdisagreementbutabsorptionofinformation.Itshouldnotbelookedatfromanyemotionalangleeveniftheinformationdefiesourexistingbeliefstotheircore.Youaretheby-productsofyourobservationsandsoarethosewithdifferentopinionsandenvironments.Asaresult,youseeanalternaterealitybasedontheeducationyoureceivedsofar.Thosewithmorearticulatedopinionshaveoften

donemoreresearchoraremoreinvolved,buttheirinformationisalsoderivedfromsomeoneelse’sopinion.“Education=Information”andthisequationisimportantforgrowingtowardstheThirdCircle.

Selectiveeducation,ontheotherhand,iswhenyoupossessnaturaltalentandchoosetoseekspecificinformation.Inotherwords,youlistenedtotheopinionsandunderstandthembutarechoosingtolookintotheabstractanduncovermoreofwhatothersdon’tsee.Selectiveeducationismoreabouttheoriesbasedoninformationandyourabilitytolinktogetherconceptsasaresult.Asyourmindsetevolvesandtakesinterestinaspecifictopic,itpushesyoutoseektheunknownaroundthatsubject.Thisinterestpushesyourneedtoventurewhereothersfailed.Youdiscoveragapofinformation,whichleadsyoutoinnovateifyoupossessenoughinformationandconfidencetoundertaketheissueitself.

Selectiveeducationistheunderstandingofconceptsratherthanthings.Itisyourabilitytoidentifytheconnectorsoflife.AgreatexampleisunderstandinghowFordisconnectedtoMicrosoft,andthenunderstandinghowtheautomotiveindustryisconnectedtotheITindustry.YouneedtoknowwhatIT-relatedservicesorproductscanbecreatedtoinnovatebothindustries.Yourselectiveabilitytounderstandoneindustrysparksyourcuriosityintotheoppositeone.Youdiscoveraworldthatotherscannotseebecausetheydon’thaveyourperspective.IfyouhaveanITbackground,yousomewhatknowwhattolookforwhenitcomestotechnologyincars.Youalsoknowwhatmayormaynotbepossibleinthisarea,whilesomeonefromtheautomotiveindustrywillnot.ThisishowcompanieslikeGoogleandMicrosoftcompeteforworlddominationinthetechnologysector.Innovationacrossotherplatformsiseasyonceyoupossesstheskillset.Allyouneedistheinformationthatyoupreviouslyignoredbecauseyouhadnointerest.Lookingthroughaselectivelensataproblemopensanewtypeofinformation,onethatonlyyoucanseeorseek.

Everysuccessfulindividualwilltellyouthattheyhavenotonlyeducatedthemselvesonthetopicathand,butalsounderstandhowitworks.Asaresult,thesepeoplecanidentifyagapintheirsegmentoraconnectedsegment.Mostentrepreneursfindbusinessideasinafieldofpastexperiencebylookingatitthroughanewlens.Mostofthiscuriosityisgaugedonceagainthroughobservationandpastexperiences.

Thinkabouthowyoulookedatyourfirstjob.Howwouldyoudescribeit?Now,fast-forwardtofourjobslaterandimaginehoweffectiveyouwouldbeatthatfirstjobagain.Youwouldbebetterbecauseyournewexperienceshavemadeyoumoreawareandcapable,whichisultimatelywhyeducationcannot

outweighexperience.Byidentifyingthegapbetweeneducationandexperienceandtheninnovatingthroughentrepreneurship,youwillberewardedwithamonetarygainlargerthatexceedswhatyouwouldgetfromjust“working”.

Youcreateapaththatisnolongerunknowntoothers.Youwillempowerthosepeopletoseektheirownselfandselectiveeducationandexpanditevenfurther.

Money

Moneyisthemostconstant“thing”youwitnessateveryageandateverystageofyourlife,whichiswhyitbecomessohardtoletgoasyougetolder.Yourentirelifeatsomepointoranotherrelatestomoneysomehow.Youaretoldveryyoungthatyougotoschooltogetagoodjobtomakemoney,orthatyoushouldplaysportssosomedayyoucanmakelotsofmoney.Itisfrequentlythereasonyouaregivenforwhyyoushoulddosomething—anything.Themerefactthatmoneyholdssuchweightinyourentirelifereinforcestheunderstandingthatmakingmoneyisperhapsmoreimportantthananythingelseinlife.Soyouvaluethefibrouspapermorethanyourfamiliesandfriendsattimes.

Yourfocus,however,isnotongrowingmoneyorevensavingitbutrathermakingit.Asanindividual,youare“graded”accordingtoyourincome—classifiedashigh,middleorlowclass—nothowyoulive,whichdemonstrateshowsocietyisconsumedbytheideaofmoney.

Ifyourevisitthefinancialstatusapersonisbornintoasthebaselineforthelife,youlearnfromanearlyageoftheimportanceofmoney.Whetherlow,middle,orupperclass,yourpathwillincludemakingitaswellasincludespendingit.Theonlydifferenceistheurgencytowardshowmuchofityouneedtomake.Nonetheless,themessageitselfof“makingmoney”isreinforcedbyallcultures,allcountries,andallsocieties,andevenbyallwealthlevels.Thisisthesingleobservation/messagethateverypersonisexposedto.

Moneyinitsliteralformisapieceofpaperyoutradefortime.That’scorrect.Youdonottrademoneyforgoods.Someoneelse’stimewentintomakingthegoods,orpreparingthefood,designingandimplementingatechnology,orevenwritingabook.Outsideofthecostofgoods,youtradethiscurrencyfortheirtimeasitrelatestotheitem.Youpaymoreforhigherquality,asittookmoreofsomeone’stimeorhasmorevalue,becauseultimatelyyouarepurchasingnotjustthetimeittooktocreatesomething,butallthetimeittookforthemtolearntocreatesomethingtoo.Ifyouunderstandmoney’srelevancetotimeaswediscussedearlier,youthenknowwhatyourtimeisworth.Onceyouunderstandtheunderlyingtruthaboutmoney,youstartunderstandingsomethingofmoreuse.

Howmuchareotherswillingtopayforyourtime?Whenyouunderstandthat,throughexperiences,youbecomemoreawareofhowtomanipulateyourenvironmentasitpertainstomoney,whichultimatelymeansitpertainstoeverything.Thisisthefirsttimeyourmindgraspsperceptionmanipulation.It

canoftenbethedecidingfactorwhenyoufindyourselfchoosingwhetheryoubecomeamanipulatororhelper;itreallycomesdowntoyourintentionsattheend.Ifyouhavemademoneyalready,andnotjustunderstoodtheconcept,thenyoubecomeahelper,butontheotherhandwhenyouhaveyettoapplywhatyouknow,youtendtoveertowardsmanipulationasameanstoanend.It’saverynarrowdistinctionandoftenverycloselyrelatedtothefinelinebetweenarroganceandconfidence.

Manyselfhelpgurusarebornatthisstageoftheirlife.Theyknowhowtomakemoneywithagreatpresentationthatshowspeoplewhattheyknow.Whatendsuphappeningistheysharewithyoudifferentwaysyoucanmakemoney,becausetheyknowmoneyholdssomuchweightinyourlife,makingitanirresistiblelure.Therealityisthattheygetrichoffofitmuchfasterthanyou,thepersonactuallyusingtheprogram.

MostpeopleareintheFirstCircleanddon’thaveenoughcontrolovertheirownlifetounderstandhowtomakemoney.Soregardlessofhowmuchyouteachthemaboutthevariousmethodsavailabletomakemoney,theirinabilitytoseethingsthroughwillmakethemfail.Nomatterhowgoodthesystemis,itwon’twork,butthatfutilitywon’tkeepthemfromtryingoverandoveragain.TheyneverlosethisdesiretomakemoneyastheyaretoolatewhencomparingthemselvestothosewhograduatedthisCircleandfeeltheneedtoplaycatchup.

Ifthesesystemsweregearedtoeducated,driven,professionalindividualsintheSecondCircle,theprogramssimplywouldn’tmakemoneyforthecreatorsthemselves.RemembertheSettlersandDreamersintheFirstCircle,andtheLeadersandAchieversintheSecondCircle.Peoplewhocanreadthroughyouwillnotbeconvincedtofollowyouunlessyouprovidetremendousvalue.PeopleintheSecondCircledon’tfollowpeopleinthatsamecirclebecausetheydon’tgainanythingasaresult.PeopleintheSecondCirclefollowpeopleintheThirdCirclebecauseitisdifferent.Eventhoughdifferentdoesnotmeanbetter,itisanunrecognizedalternativetopeopleintheSecondCircle.Likeeverythingelse,itraisestheircuriosityandcompelsthemtoseekmoreeducation.

Likecheeseforamouse,moneyiswhatdrivesyou.Iamsureyouhaveseenthosecartoonsthatdepictfoodbeingwavedinfrontofthefacesofridinganimalstokeepthemgoing.Well,theselfhelpindustryandthebusinessesthatteachyouhowtomakemoneyendupdoingjustthat.Theywavemoneyinfrontofyou—justenoughsoyouthinkyoucangetit.Theywantyoutokeepmovingforwarduntilyoueventuallygiveup.Theyknowyoursensesandattributesarenottrainedenoughtoactuallycapturethemoneybeingdangledas

bait,buttheydonotwantyoutoblamethem.Theywantyoutoblameyourselfbecauseyougaveup.Soyouwillmostlikelytryagainatsomepoint.Theexactsameconceptappliestothewellnessindustryandworkoutfads.Thewholepointistoshowyouthesesystemsthatrequirelessandlesstimestogetamazingresults,butyettakesomuchdiscipline.Mostofthepeopletakingonthesesystemslackthisimportanttrait,whichiswhythefadsworkonthem.

Moneyitselfisaby-productofhowyouspendyourtimeandhowyoucreatevalueforthosearoundyou.Whenused,itistobuytime,butwhenmade,itistosellyourtime.Ifyousellfruit,youfeedthosearoundyouatacost,andifyoucreatecomputers,youprovideatoolpeopleusetoonceagainmakemoneysoithasvalue.Basedonhowwellyoudo,whatyoucreateordomightbeworthmoremoneytosome.Yousellyourtimetoanorganizationwhenyouacceptajob.Youagreebyacceptingthatyourtimeisworthyourpay.Youarealsoindirectlysayingthatyourexperienceandtimeasoftodayhasthatamountofvalue.Ifyousellyourselfshort,itisbecauseyoulacktheconfidencetoacceptthatyouareworthmorethanwhatotherstellyou,youare.Understandingthevalueoftimeandmoneymakesyouadangertoallthosearoundyouandcertainlyshowcasesalevelofconfidencethatisunrivaled.

Youarebornintotheideathatmakingmoneyisthesinglemostimportantaspectoflife.Therefore,youwillfocusyourentirelifechasingit.Theproblemwithchasingmoneyisthatyouneverreallyunderstandthevalue,butratherfocusonjustgettingmoreofit.Ontheotherhand,chasingexperiencesinlifeenablesyoutounderstandthetruevalueoftimeratherthanmoney.Thosewhochasemoneyneverfindfulfillment,whichiswhytheycontinuetoworkjusttoearnit,evengoingpastthepointofhavingenoughtoliveforalifetime.

Whenyoufollowthispath,youbecomeabelieverthatmoneyisthewaytokeepscore.WhyaresomepeoplelikeDonaldtrumpalwaysonthenews?Itisbecausetheirgoalistodefinethemselvesthroughhowmuchmoneytheyhaveaccrued.Theypublicallykeepscoreandithelpsthem.

Ontheotherhand,SirRichardBransonorBillGatesrarelymakepublicappearances,becausetheydon’tprescribetokeepingscorebymeansofmonetarygainbutratherthroughfulfillmentofactuallyhelpingchangepeople’slives.DonaldTrump’spublicitystuntsputhimintheSecondCircle.BillGatesandRichardBranson’sendeavorsputthemintheThird.Theyallpossesssignificantwealth.MoneyasitpertainstotheCirclesisnothingmorethanleverage.LivingintheSecondCirclemeansyouknowhowtomakemoney.LivingintheThirdCirclemeansthatmoneyismerelyameanstoagreater

purposebutneverthepurposeitself.

Whenyoulearntomakemoney,youdiscoverwhatmoneycanhelpyouattain.Youcertainlyunderstand,likeeveryoneelseintheworld,thatmoremoneyhelpsyouattainmoregoodsorcomfort.Moremoneyismoreentertainment,soyousimplybecomeemotionaltowardsacquiringthings,particularlyifyoudidn’thaveallthosethingsgrowingup.Youfeeltheneedtomakeupforallthetimesyoudidn’thavetoysordesignerlabelclothes,andsoyoubecomematerialisticandevengreedy.Thisattitudeisthedirectresultoflackingthenecessarycontroloveryouremotionalreactiontomakingmoney.

Emotionalactionsandreactionsarethekeyreasonsthatpeoplefailorgethurtingeneral,andtheconnectionisevenmoresowithmoney.Youaresoattachedtothispaperthatyouvalueitmorethanjustaboutanythingelse.Youlosesightofyourfriendsandfamilywhenyoufeelthatyourmoneyisbeingthreatened.Yourinabilitytodetachyouremotionsfrommoneycangreatlyharmyou.Youcanseethathappeneverydayallaroundyou.Thinkabouteverywarintheworldandhowmoneyisthecenterofattention;divorce,forwhichtheprimaryreasonismoney;and,ofcourse,crime,wherethesolereasonistoattainmoneywithoutearningit.

Thesethingsdonothappenatrandom.Theyhappenwhenpeoplechoosetomakeapieceofpapermoreimportantthanahumanlife,andareselfishenoughsincetheyarestillintheSecondCircle.Iwantyoutounderstandtheimportanceoflettinggooftheconstantpursuitandemotionalconnectiontoyourmoney.Insteadlookatmoneyasameanstoanendratherthantheemotionalconnectionofkeepingscore.

Ifyoulookatmoneyinaliteralsenseandnotaglorifiedonethroughyourpastobservations,thewealthieryouget,thelessyouactuallyseethepapermoneyandassumethatthenumbersyouseeonacomputerscreenreflectwhoyouare--Thisisabsurd.

Whenyouseemoneyasnothingmorethanpaper,youthenrealizethatnomatterhowmanytimesyoumissorlosesome,youwillalwayshaveanopportunitytomakeit.Younolongermissoutonopportunitiesormakebaddecisionbasedonfearsoflosingmoney.

Habits

Atthisstageofthegame,successisprimarilydefinedbyhowmuchmoneyyoucanmakeintheleastamountoftime.Youstartdevelopinghabitsalongthewaythatwilllaterbeveryusefultodefiningyourexistence.Thesehabitsoncemorearedefinedheavilybyyourobservationsofthoseinyourentourageorthosewhoinfluencedyou.Youhavenowchosentocarefullymimicthesenewpeopleratherthanthoseinyourchildhoodobservations.Observingthehabitsofthesuccessfulfolksaroundyouactuallyhelpsyoumorethanyouthink.Theirpassionusuallydrivestheirroutinesandtheyshowcasethosequalitiesinalmosteverythingtheydo,evenifnotworkrelated.Habitsandtalentlikeconsistency,acceptanceoffailure,balance,andleadership,arequalitiesthatyoumustmaster.AtthispointintheSecondCircle,youcanactuallyseethesecharacteristicsinaction,asifyouindirectlyhadamentor.Thehabitsyoumustlearntoovercomeandmakeaconsistentpartofyourroutineareasfollow:

Beingproactivehasapositiveimpactonyourlifeandhasgottenyouthisfar.Thinkaboutwhenyouappliedforajoborchosetofollowthroughonsomethingyouwanted,ratherthansomethingyouwereobligatedtodo.Inordertograduatepastthisstage,youwillhavetoshifttobeingproactive.Youmustdecidethathopeandfaithholdnorelevancetoyoursuccessandactions,butrathereverythingthathappensisinyourcontrolandamatterofactingratherthanthinking.Beingproactivemeansmorethananticipating;italsomeanstakingactiontoprevent,whichkeepsyoufromendinguponthewrongsideofthefence.Ifyouthinkaboutjustabouteverybadcircumstanceyouhaveexperienced,youcanprobablyidentifyeasilythosewhomyoureactedtoproperly.Canyoualsolookbackandunderstandwhichofthemcouldhavebeenavoidedaltogether—requiringnoreaction—hadyouinsteadtakenactiontopreventthesituationorkeptyourselffrombeinginsuchaposition?

AgreatexampleofthisisthehousingcrisisthatstrucktheU.S.recently.Manypeoplesimplyletthemselvesfallbehindontheirmortgageorpayments.Whilethatmayhaveseemedliketheonlyoptionatthetime,theycouldhaveinsteadcalledtheirlenderorlawyerandattemptedtofindasolutionbeforefailingtomaketheirpayment,notafter.ThesameexamplecanbeappliedtogoingoutonaSaturdaynight.Ifyouknowsomeonewhomyouhavehadconfrontationswithisgoingtobeatacertainplace,stayaway,regardlessofhowyoufeelorhowmanyofyourfriendswillbethere.Learntoproactivelyguideyourlifetokeepyoufromgoingplacesthatmaycompromiseyourgoals.

Theskillsetyoumustlearntomasteristheonethatallowsyourproactive

naturetothinkaheadabitfartherthanmost.Beingproactiveinanotherperson’slifeevolvessignificantlyashe/shegoesthroughthemotionsoflifeandtheCircles.MostindividualsintheFirstCirclewillthinkthreetosixmonthsahead,whilethoseintheSecondCirclethinkonetofiveyearsahead,andcertainlymostofthepeoplewhohavereachedtheThirdCirclecanseetheirentirelifeandhowitwillplayout.Thedecisionsyoumakearehighlyassociatedwithhowfaryoucansee.Itisverytruethatthefartheryoucansee,themorelikelyyouaretomakebetteroveralldecisions.

Let’suseagoodexamplethatmanyofyoucanrelateto.Thinkaboutajobofferyoureceivedwhenyouwereyounger.Backthen,itseemedsomucheasiertodecideifthejobwastherightfitornot.Asyougotolderandreceivedmultiplenewjoboffers,youtooklongertoconsidereach.Itbecamehardertodecidewhichwasbest,partlybecauseyouhadmorevariablestoconsider,suchasfamily,realestate,andperhapsevenwherethejobwouldtakeyouinthelongrun.Ifyouconsidermanyoftheearlierdecisionsyoumadeinlife,theywerefocusedonaddressingyourimmediateneeds,butasyougrowolder,youanticipateyourfutureneedsandchoosedifferently,evenifyouhavetosacrificeyourcurrentneedsforyourfutureones.Mostoflife’sexperienceshaveshownyouthatthinkingaheadisimportantandyourvaluefortimehasincreasedtoo.Ifyouconsiderbeingproactive,youanticipateandactandyoudosointhebestinterestofthesituationratherthanthemoment.Itisthefirstmomentthatyouconsiderothersinyourequationratherthanjustyourself,whichisatraitofthoseintheThirdCircle.Whenyouthinkahead,youtakeaproactivestanceonwhereyouwantyourlifetogoandyoustartanalyzingwitheverydecisiontodetermineifitisgoingtohelpyougetthere,evenifcertaindislikesappearearlyalongthewayasaresultofyourchoice.

Thefinalaspectofbeingproactiveisbelievingeverythingisinyourcontrol.Youneverallowyourselftobeavictimbutratherarecipientofthechoicesyoumake.MakingitahabittotakeownershipofyouroutcomesisaveryimportanttraitthatwillbenecessarybeforegraduatingtotheThirdCircle.Theownershipcoupledwiththeextendedvisionofyourlifeorsituationenablesyoutoremainproactiveandtakeadriver’sapproachtoliferatherthanapassenger,oneyou’llneedtoheadstraighttotheThirdCircleinduetime.

BeingconsistentisthesecondhabitthatyoulearntoformintheSecondCircle.Youlearnthatinstantgratificationisaweakness,butmoreimportantlyisnotallowedinyourlife.Consistencyandhardworkleadtopositiveoutcomes,andnothinggreatisachievedovernight.Beingconsistentinthiscaseisnotdefined

bydoingthingslikeaworkeroverandoveragainwithoutpurpose,butratherabouthowyouthinkoflifeandyouractions.Consistencyinyourthinkingandyourgoalsallowsyoutomakesenseofthingsasyourisetonewheightseachtime.Makingsenseallowsyougoodperspectiveonwhatyouwantandwhatyouaredoingtogetthere.Focuswillberequiredtoremaindisciplinedinyourapproachtosuccess.

Creatingconsistencyforyourselfisimportantandusuallycomesfromobservingsuccessfultraitsofthosearoundyou.Similartojustabouteverythingelsewediscussed,thoseeitherinyourupbringingorinyourentouragethroughtheyears,influenceyoutoadapttobecomingconsistent.Inmypersonalupbringing,Icansaythatmymotherwasagreatexampleofsomeoneconsistent.Iwatchedhernotonlyworkconsistentlyforyears,butalsosticktobeinganentrepreneuroverandoveragain,despiteconstantobstacles.ThereforeIamnowveryconsistentinmydeliveryofactions,andalsoentrepreneurialinmythinking.IfIlookaroundme,manyofthefriendsorpeoplethatIsurroundmyselfwitharealsoconsistentintheirbehaviors.Sonaturally,thebehaviorIabsorbedfromayoungageisthathardworkandconsistencyarethekeytocreatingthebestoutcomes.Consistencyandthebehaviorwhicheventuallybecomeshabitisultimatelyyourabilitytomake“notgivingup”theactualhabititself.

ConfidenceandbelieffromtheFirstCircleplayastrongroleinyourabilitytostayconsistentandnottogiveup.Themoreyoubelieveinsomethingandthemoreconfidentyouarethatyoucandeliveronit,thenthelesslikelyyouaretogiveupandthemoreenergyyouhavetodeliverthesameperformanceconsistently,evenifitseemstobeforalongperiodoftime.Whenyoulearnthatgivingupisnotanoption,thatyoucontrolthatfearfromtheFirstCircletostartbuildingthishabit,andyounolongerneedanyonetocheeryouon,congratulations—youfoundthetickeryouneedtokeepgoingandsuddenlyfeelasenseofpurpose.

It’salotaboutwhyyouworksohardthatallowsyoutoretainthesamelevelofdrivetowardsyourhabits.Ifyouremindyourselfoftenofwhyyoudowhatyoudo,yourefuelyourbodyandmindtocontinueforwardandremainconsistentineverything.

Ifyoufindyourselfinconsistent,ingeneral,youstillholdalevelofinstantgratificationfromtheFirstCirclewithinyou.Youstrugglewithbeingquicktochangewhatinterestsyouandchangeyourroutines.Youneverallowsomethingtowork,unlessitworksquickly.Onereasonisbecauseyouneverevolvedpastthefearofnotmakingmoney.Youwillcontinuetomakemoneyyourpriority

untilyoucanlearntoactuallymakeit,whichremainsdifficultbecauseyou’reinconsistent.

Youcanlearntoridyourselfofinconsistencybasedonyourbelief,confidence,andpastsuccessratio,whichisnotdefinedherebyyourbusinesssuccessrate.Ifyouhaveexperiencedenoughpositivewinsinyourlife,thenyourconfidenceandbeliefinyourselfalmostmakesitimpossibletogiveup,andtheactionsleadingtotheoutcomebecomemoreandmoreconsistentwitheachtry.Forstarters,younolongerchasemoney,butratherchasevictory,whichisasignificantimprovementinmindset.Thisisthefirstsignthattruepassionisemerginginyourlifeand,whilenotreallyasliceofanyCircle,passionbyitselfislikeaninnerbodyorbitingtheSecondCircle.Itisaninvisibleforcecreatedbythecombinationofbelief,confidence,andlackoffearthatlaunchesyoutowardanewlevelofproductivity.

Whenthinkingoftheforcedescribedaspassion,youmustthinkoftheadrenalineoffear—butthrowninreverse.HereiswhatImeanbythat:Whenyouarehangingoffacliff,thefearofdeathgivesyouwingsandyourstrengthismultipliedbyalmostfivetimesitsnormallevel.Thisincredible,never-before-seenpowermanifestsitselftoensureyoudon’tfail.Thesamereactionoccurswithpassion,butdoesn’trequirethedeathpart.Itsimplyisthefirstmanifestationofpurpose-drivenliving,whichyouwilllaterdiscoverintheThirdCircle.Failingonyourbeliefisaspowerfulaslettinggoofthatcliffandisnotanoptioneither.

Whenthisforcetakesoveryou,itseemslikeworkbecomeseasyandalmostroutine,whichiswhypeopleoftensay,“Dowhatyouloveandyouwon’tworkasingledayinyourlife.”Loveisanemotionevokedbypassion.Therefore,spendingalldaydoingsomethingyoulovemeansyouarereinforcingyourbelief,sothisnever-endingdominoeffectoflove,belief,andpassiontriggeroneanothertillcompletion.Youcan’tgiveupuntiltheendisreached.Itisalmostroboticinnatureandunbelievabletothosewhohaveneverexperiencedpassiontounderstandwhyandhowyouworksohard.Butthispowerissettingyouupforsuccesstothegreatestlevelandallowingunderstandingthatyouhavenolimitations.

BeingSelfMotivated

Whenyouacceptthatyouhaveeverythingatstakeandcannotgiveup,thenaturalrealizationoccursthatnooneisgoingtohelpyougetthere,especiallysincemostpeopleliveintheFirstorSecondCircleandareegocentricinnature.Theywon’thelpyouifitdoesn’tbenefitthem.Thatmeansyoualoneareincharge.

Youfindyourtickerasaresult,whichhappenstobeyourvisionofyourownsuccess.Thenyouallownothing—andImeannothing—toswayyoufrombelievingittobetrue.Thistickerbecomesyourdailyreminderofwhyyoumustsucceed.Italsohelpsyoutoremainmotivatedalongtheway.Inmostcases,aperson’smotivationishighlyegocentrichere,butthat’sokasitisheadingtowardstheThirdCircle.Materialisticthingswillmotivatemostuntiltheycanlookpastthem.ImyselfboughtanewexoticcareachyeartoremindmyselfofwhyIworkedsohard.IsometimesputmyselffinanciallyatstakedoingsoasIpushedhardertoretaintheluxuryofkeepingthecar.Eventhoughmanymightargueittobeaterriblefinancialdecisiontobuyanewcareveryyear,Ibelievedthatpurchasetobeaninvestmentinmyself,nottheautomobile.ThisbehaviorfueledmetokeepgoingandIcantellyouitcertainlyhelpedme,despitebeingdifficult.Thecarswereasymboltome,asignofappreciationforwhereIwasgoing.

You,too,mustfindnotonlyyourticker,butmustalsowhatwillkeepyouafloatwhenyouslipdown.Thattriggercannotbeforsomeoneelse.Donotmakethemistakeofworkingforyourchildren,butratherfindwhatsatisfiesyoursoul.WhileworkingforthebenefitofothersisverynobleandabigpartoftheThirdCircle,thosewhoundertakethisdirectionearlyonwillburnoutandoftenblameothersfortheirfailure.Forexample,ifyouworktopleaseyourwifeonlytofindoutthatsheisunappreciative,thenegativeresponsedestroysyourselfmotivation.Themotivatingfactorneedstobeconstantandcertainlycannotbeemotionalinnatureoritwillbeunsustainable.Iftheunderlyinginfluenceisoutofyourcontrol,thenitgoesagainstwhatyoulearnedsofar.

Onceyou’vemasteredthesehabits,youbecomemuchmoreincontrolofyourdestinationandsignificantlystrengthenyourconfidencelevel.Youarenowenteringawholenewsegmentofyourlifewherecontrolofjustabouteverythingyoudoisinyourhands.Thephrase,“youcandoanythingyouputyourmindto”,becomesarealityratherthanamyth—thatis,untilyouarefacedwithyourgreatestchallenge:overcomingyouremotions.

Emotion

“Putyourpaininabox.Lockitdown.Realmenmadeupofboxes—Chambersoflossandtriumphofhurtandhopeandlove.Nooneisstrongerormore

dangerousthanamanwhocanharnesshisemotions—hispast.”—From“AnActofValor”

Thisverytruequotemakescertainpeoplemuchmoredangerousthanothers.Youheartheline“thinkwithyourhead,notwithyourheart”inbusinessquiteoftenbecauseitisnecessarytocreateadivisionofyourfeelingsandemotionsfromyourdecision-making.Inlife,justlikeinbusiness,thisapproachcanbeusedthesameway.Imaginehowmanyofyourfriendsorloverelationshipswouldbedifferentifyouhadfollowedyourhead,notyourheart.Imaginehowmuchtimeyouwouldhavesavedifyoufollowedyourhead,ratherthanbeinfluencedbyyourheart.Thosewholearntodifferentiatethetwodistinguishthemselvesfromothers.ThisisthecenteroftheSecondCircleandthemainobstacleyoumustovercometoproceedpasttheSecondCircle.Ifyoucanmasteryouremotions,youwillmostcertainlyheadtothenextphaseofyourlife,onethatyouwillneverbeabletoundo.

Uncontrollableemotionsarehumanweaknesses,buttheyalsodifferentiatepeoplefromoneanother.Itisn’twhatyoudo,butratherhowyoureactthatmakesyouwhoyouare.Ifyouthinkaboutthoseofuswhostandupandfightwhileotherssitdownandwatchfromthesidelines,itistheemotionsofbelief,confidence,andfearthatenablesometoriseabovewhileothersremainsittingdown.Thesamecanbesaidforjustabouteverythingelseinlife.Therearethosewhofightandthosewhowatch.Whileeverythingyoulearnedtothispointisrelevanttoyourabilitytocontrolyouremotions,itisyourawarenessthatyouremotionsareyourweaknessthatwillenableyoutoovercomethem.

Emotionalintelligenceiskeytotakingcontrolofyourlifeandyourreactionstolife.Itisthecontrolofyouremotionsthatmakessomepeoplesomuchstrongerthanothers.Itenablesyoutostarttransitioningintoaworldnotentirelyfocusedaroundyou.Asaresult,youunderstandatthisstagethattheworlddoesnotrevolvearoundyou.Youacquireatasteforunderstandingothersaroundyouandwhytheyarehowtheyare.Asyoudiscussedearlier,curiositytakesthebetterofyouandforcesyoutoseekinformationinordertobeatpeaceandsuchinformationishowwegrowmoreemotionalintelligence.

Emotionsarethebarriertoyourhead,andsignificantlychangeyourthinkingwhenallowed.Thesefeelingscankeepyoufrommakingcorrectdecisionsthat

benefittheoverallaspectofthesituationratherthanjustyourself.Ifyoucanneverlookpastyourself,allyouremotionsandconcernsarecenteredonyouanddictateyouractionseverytime.From“Iwant”,“Ineed”,“Ilike”,“Icannotstand”,oranythingelsethatstartswith“I”reflectaconcernforyourself,notothers.Whenyoudon’tlikesomething,youexpressyourdislikeandasaresultothersknowyoudon’twanttobeinthatsituation.Youdosobecauseyouwantthemtoreacttoyourneedsandyouremotionsandyoudon’treallycaretoexpressyourpointofview,butratherseekagreementoranactiontomakeyoufeelbetter.

Mostofyouremotionaldecisionslikethoseyouchoosetoloveorthoseyouchoosetoworkwith,evenyourdecisionsaroundmoneycanbetracedbacktoyouregocentricnaturewhichyoudisplayinthefirsttwoCirclesofyourlife.Manyofyouarenoddingyourheadswhilereadingthissectionbecauseone(ormore)oftheseexamplesappliestoyou.

Thinkaboutyourselfasachildandhowrelevantitwastoyoutoarguebackorstartafightwhensomeoneinsultedyourfamilyormother.Peoplewerejustverballyassaultingyou,butyouneededtoexerciseamoreseverephysicalresponse.

Thinkabouttwopeoplebumpingintoeachotherinacrowdedarealikeanightcluborconcert.Oneofthemhastheabsoluteneedtoretaliateagainsttheotherifanapologyoracknowledgmentisn’tmadeimmediately.

Asignificantotherdumpsyouandyourresponseistohatethatpersononceyourealizeyoucannolongerhavehimorher.Orthatpersoncheatsonyou,andinresponseyoucheatback.

Yougetrejectedafteraskingsomeoneout,andthennolongerfeelthatpersonisattractivewheninrealitytheyarenodifferentthanthepersonyouwishedyoucouldhavegottentoknow.

Youreceiveabadperformancereviewatwork.Yourbosstellsyouthatyouaredoingapoorjobandyougetextremelyupsetonceheleaves.

Theseareallexamplesofsituationsthatgenerateapurelyemotionalreaction.Thereasonis,inpart,becauseyouareegocentric.Inaddition,allofthosearoundyouhavealwaysshownyouwhatselfishlookslike,soyoutendtoremainfocusedonyourownfeelingsandopinions.Youoftenprocessinformationwithregardstohowyoufeelaboutit.Thisisthewrongapproachifyouwanttocontrolyouremotionsandcreateemotionalintelligence.

Youcanstrengthenyouremotionalintelligence.Yousimplyhavetoletgo,andwhatImeanbythatisyouhavetoletgopasthowyoufeeltowardsinformation.Youreceiveinformationinlife—whichcanbetranslatedbynews,opinions,commentaries,directcommunication,orindirectreporting—youmustnotreact.Instead,processitasjustinformation—nomatterwhat.

Havingnoemotionalreactionatalltoinformationisthebestwaytoconditionyourmindtoavoidapoorreaction.Whenyouhavenoimmediatereactiontoinformation,yourmindnaturallytendstobeanalyticalandconsiderallthevariables,butwhenemotionsareinvolved,theoppositehappensandthereactioncan’tbeundone.Byslowingdown,youcanmorereadilyacceptthatpeopleareactingoninformationandthattheyindeedwereunabletocontroltheiremotionalreaction.Whentheyreactinthisway,theyareexpectingthatreactiontocontinue.Whenyoulearntostopthecontinuousflowofemotion,youbecomeaverypowerfulindividual.Youunderstandhowtonotbevulnerableandwhyandwhereothersareweak.Asyourenvironmentconstantlychangesandpeoplereacttoitemotionally,yourheightenedemotionalintelligenceallowsyoutogatherallinformationbeforecreatingareaction.Others,however,actoneachpieceofinformationenablingthemtoonlycombatasmallpartoftheproblem,whereyouwillactuallycreatetheenvironmentyouneedforyourselftocreatecompletechangeinyourfavor.

Yourabilitytocontrolhowemotionallyhurtyoubecomemakesyouamorelogicalperson.Youseewhypeopledowhattheydo.Bylogicallyinterpretingtheinformation,youweighboththesourceandthevalueoftheinformationratherthanhowyoufeelaboutit.Thisgivesyouabetterperspectiveofitsmeaning.Youunderstandthecontextoftheinformationratherthanwhatyouareexpectedtodoasaresult.Ifyouareinasituationwhereyouareafraidbecauseyou’vebeentoldthatyoucausedsomethingbadtohappenatwork,fearcansetinandthenpaniccanpreventaction.Conversely,youcanunderstandthatsomeoneisjustcommunicatingwhatoccurred,notthatyouareatfaultorwillgetfired.Asaresult,yourmindfocusesonthesolutionratherthanthefeeling.Learningtokeepyourfeelingsfromparalyzingyouractionsenablesyoutomakebetterdecisions,ratherthandwellonwhatdoesn’twork.

Thesameexamplecanbeappliedtofinancialmanagementandhowwethinkofmoney—which,despitenotbeinganemotionitself,istheoneitemwearemostemotionalabout.Weloveit,getgreedyforit,andcertainlydon’twanttopartwithit.Thefunniestpartisthatweallowmoneytoimpactourmoodsmorethananythingelse.Whendecisionscometomindthatarebasedonmoney,we

respondemotionallyaswefearlosingit.Thinkaboutstocksorinvestmentopportunities.Theyaremissedbymanypeoplewhocan’tcontroltheiremotions;thefearconsumesthem,preventingaction.Thisfeariswhatyoumustlearntocontrolanddisregardsothatitdoesn’tbecomeaparalysisonyourentirelife.Otherwise,itpreventsyoufromtakingonopportunitiesaroundyouandfromdoingwhatyoulove.Moreimportantly,suchemotionpreventsyoufrommovingforwardandgrowing.

EmotionalcontrolissodifficultthattherearealargenumberofpeoplewhocannotgraduatethisphaseoftheSecondCircle.Asaresult,theynevertrulymoveonbecausethey’reunabletodealwiththeiremotions.Theydon’tgetpastitbecausetheybelievethatthetruenatureofwhoyouareishowmuchmoneyyouhave—oraregoingtomake.Theycertainlyhavenounderstandingofhowsmalltheyareinsuchalargeworld.Thoseofyouthatdomoveforwardunderstandthisabitdifferently.

Therealityisthatasaperson,youmatter,butonlytothosearoundyou—peoplethatknowyouandlikeyou.Thatinitselfalsodescribeshowyoufeeltowardsothersinreturn.Ifyoulikepeopleyourememberthem,helpthem,andtaketimetounderstandyourfeelingsforthem.Useyoursignificantotherasanexample.Thosewhocan’tgraduatepasttheiremotionalintelligencearehighlyegocentricandselfish.Therefore,youtendtofallinloveanddotheworldforthosetheyarewith.Youwillfight,pay,and,inmostcases,dieforthem,butyouneverunderstandwhy.YoudothesethingsbecauseofHOWthatpersonmakesyoufeel.Itisforyourbenefit,nomatterhowyoulookatit.Youseekthatcontinuedfeeling.If,however,yougraduateandcontrolyourfeelings,youquestionthosefeelings.Ifyouwouldstillgiveyourlifeforthatpersonorspendeverydimeyouhaveiftheyweren’twithyouasyoursignificantother,butsimplybecauseyoubelievedintheircause,thenthatisamorelogicalapproachratherthanaselfishone.Thisisalsothemainreasonfordivorce;itisn’tbecauseofmoneyitselfbutratherhowtheyfeeltowardseachotherandtheirbehaviors(howsomeonespendsmoneyforexample),partlybecauseofpoorcommunicationaroundthosefeelings.

Thosewhoexertlittlecontrolovertheiremotionsareinrelationshipsbecauseofthebenefitsorfeelingstheyexperience.Asaresult,theyareaddictedtothatsatisfaction.Ontheotherhand,thosewithmorecontrolunderstandwhytheyfeelassuch,andnolongercareabouthowtheyfeeltowardsthesituationorthesatisfactionitbringsthem.Insteadtheyappreciatethevalueofthepersonforwhotheyare,notforhowtheymakethemfeel.Andasaresult,startdisplaying

verystrongsignsofselflessnessinthisphase.

Logicalchoicesleadtorealresults,whileemotionalchoicesleadtounstablechoices.Iftheexampleaboveholdstruethennomatterhowyourfeelingschanged,thecoreofyourdecisionwouldn’tbecauseyoudidn’tmakeitbecauseofhowyoufelt,butratherbecauseofhowsomeonewas.

Beingabletolookpastyourworld,yourfeelings,yourdisguiseandyouremotionsenablesyoutounderstandothersandunderstandwhatmakesthemvulnerable,butmoreimportantlyitenablesyoutorealizethatyouareonlyasvaluableasyouractions,andifyouractionsaretopursuemoneyallthetimethenyourvalueisnotadimemorethanhowmuchofityouaccumulated.

ImyselfseemyvalueastheexperiencesIhavegonethroughandmyabilitytohelpothers.AsaresultIfeelthatIamonlydefiningmyexistencethroughhowmanypeopleIhaveactuallyhelped.Whenyouthinkofothersandunderstandthemyoufindwaystohelpthemandthereforeleadthem,whichtakesyoutoournextsliceforthosethatmoveonpasttheiremotionsintothecoreofleadership.

Leadership

WhenyougettotheleadershipstageoftheSecondCircle,itcanmeantwoverydifferentpathsgoingforward—oneoftheManipulatororoneoftheHelper.Eventhoughit’spossibletochangeyourminddowntheroad,youmightfinditdifficulttodoso.Thechoiceisusuallyaresultofhowyoufeeltowardslifeandthecombinationoftheexperiencesyouhavewitnessedtothatpoint.Ifyougrewuparoundverykindandgivingindividualswhobelievedthatagoodlifewasaboutequality,kindness,andhelpingothers,thenyouwillmostlikelygothroughservinghumanity.Ontheotherhand,ifyouwerethrownintherealworldaloneandforcedtosurvive,thentheexactoppositeoccurs.Yourmind’sselfishnaturemanifestsitself,makingyoumorelikelytomanipulatetheworldtoyouradvantage—andonlytoyouradvantage.

Themaindifferenceisnottheideaofmanipulation,butratherwhobenefitsfromthemanipulation.Leadershiprequiresshapingenvironments,whichcanbelookedatasmanipulationinordertofunctionbest.Effectiveleadershipbenefitsthefollowersfirst,nottheleader.Thearmyisagreatexampleofthis,asyouhavetobreakdownthemindsofthesoldiersfirst,andthenrebuildthemtoastrongerstate.Thisstrongapproachbenefitsthemincombatbymakingsuretheyarepreparedtofacetheirfearsandinreallifebecauseitgivesthemtheconfidenceandhabitsneededtobesuccessful.

BecomingamanipulatoroccursnaturallyatthisstageoftheSecondCircleandcomesfromyourabilitytocontrolyouremotions.Thisstagetakestheconceptfurtherbecauseyourealizethatotherscannotdothesame,makingthempredictable.Inthisrole,youcontrolhowothersreacttocertainactions.Ifyouknowwhatmakespeoplelaughorcry,youcertainlyhavemorepoweroverthem.Thismakesyouaverypowerfulandinfluentialperson.Influencecomesfromhavingwhatotherswantorhavinglearnedtodowhatothersdon’tknowhowtodo,whichcreatesaninterestingenergybasedon“belief”.Youfeelthatifthey’vedoneit,youcantoo.Forthispowertoemerge,youastheleadermustknowwhatmatterstothatindividual.Youmustnotonlyshowthemyouhaveachievedorattainedwhatmatterstothem,butalsodidsofromasimilarplatform.Thisexplainswhymanyofusadmireragstorichessuccessstories.Wetrulydonotappreciatewhenotherswhohavenotearnedtheirwealthbragthattheyknowtheway.Yousimplycannotbelieveorunderstandhowyoucangetthere,andthereforeinfluencedoesn’toccur.Thendistrustanddisbeliefkicksin.

Thisleadsustothenextpoint.Greatleadersmustknowhowtoidentifyindividualswithsimilarvaluesandbeliefs.Withoutthis,thepowerofinfluence

cannotoccur.Influenceisaby-productofbelief,whichcanbetranslatedhereintomindset.Youneedtoidentifywithotherswhobelievewhatyoubelieveandwhounderstandwhyyoubelieve(derivedfromtheirvalues)inordertobeabletomaximizeagroup’sorfollowing’struepotential.

Inmycorporatecareer,Ipositionedmyselfforsuccessthroughthisskillset.Ifocusedmyentireenergyonhiringpeoplewhobelievedinthesamethingsandsharedsimilarvalues.Thisenabledmetopredicttheirpotentialaccordingtothegrouportypeofpersonalitytrait.Basedontheirbackgrounds,Iknewwhowouldbemostinfluencedbyme,whichmeanttheyweremorelikelytofollowinstructionsandlearnfasterthantheaverageemployee.Withthisdistinction,Iwasabletowinbigandearnmyselfsignificantpromotionsearlyon.Theicingonthecakewasthattheyalsoadvancedmuchfasterasaresult.ThisbehavioreventhoughadmirablewasoneofapersonintheSecondCircleasIbenefitedfirst.

Thesamesignsyourecognizesubconsciouslywhenaskingsomeoneoutormakingfriendsarethesamesignsyoulearntoidentifyinplainsight—knowingwhoyouareorwhyyoudocertainthings.Thisdifferentiatesgoodleadersfrompeopleclaimingtobe.Greatleadersknowtheirownsigns.Theyhaveaclearviewofwhypeopleshouldfollowthem,sotheirmessageispreciseandrarelychanges—onlytheirplansdo.Greatleadersunderstandthatothersdon’tsharethesamestrengths,tolerance,andemotionalintelligence,sotheyworkhardtonotonlyleadpeoplebutalsohelpthemleadthemselveseventually.

ItispossibleforindividualsintheFirstCircletomaintainleadershippositionsonthejob,athome,orinsocietyfromanearlyage.Theymightnothaveyetmasteredhowtobeeffectiveleaders,astheyhaven’testablishedasmuchforthemselves;withoutthatachievement,they’llencounterdifficultyleadingothers.Certainly,itispossible,butwillrequirethepersoninthatleadershiproletohavesignificantself-strengthandmotivation.Theymustalsobeabletoworkcontinuouslytoimprove,whichtheycandobyobservinggoodexamplesaroundthem.Theseemergingleaders,however,willfailwithoutthesupportofgreatmentorshipandgreatleaders.Thisiswhymanyorganizationswillnothireyoungleaders,becausethereisnosubstitutefortimeandexperience.Thiscombinationallowsustodefineourselvesashelperormanipulator,andonlythencanweknowourtrueleadershipstylesandintentions.

Thisparticularphasewearediscussing,however,isnotaboutyourroleatworkorathome,butrathertheskillsyoudevelopandyourstandpointorviewonsocietyasaleaderwithinasystem.Thesystemofyourlifeistheoneweare

discussinghere,andeventhoughit’scertainlyveryimpactedbythefunctionsyouholdatworkorhome,itisnotdefinedbyatitleorasalary.Rather,thissystemismarkedbyhowyoutakechargeofyourlifeandholdyourselfaccountabletothosearoundyou.Itisveryeasytoattempttohelpothersandreceivepushback,whichcanmakegivingupseemthebestchoice.Butittakestrueleadershipskillstostepbackandunderstandwhythosefollowingyouarehavingahardtimedoingso.Ittakesthefirsttrueactofselflessnesstoputsomeoneelse’slifeasequallyimportantasyourownwhentheyhaven’testablishednearlyasmuch,orcontributedtosocietymuchlessthanwedo.Beingagreatleaderwhenallisgreatiseasy,butbeingagreatleaderwhenallelsefailstakesallthemasteredcomponentsoftheFirstCircleinorderforyoutoemergevictorious.ThisistherealdeciderthathelpsyouleavetheSecondCircleandgetonyourwaytotheThirdCircle.

Imaginehowmuchemotionalcontrolandmindpowerittakestoputyourselfsecondtoindividualswho,atsomepointinyourlife,youbelievedwerewellbelowyourself.Imaginethepowerittakestoputyourownhappinesssecondtootherswhomyoudon’tevenknoworhavenevermet.Doyouknowmany—orany—peoplecapableofthat?

HereisareallifeexampleofhowIexercisedifferentleadershiproleseveryday,andasaresultdefinemyownlifepath.InmyyoungeryearsasIwaslearningtomanagepeople,IdiscoveredthatIhadauniquegiftforhelpingpeople—theabilitytosheltermyemotionsandthinkwithmyhead.IleveragedwhomIhired,notonlytoteachthemhowtobemoreeffectiveintheirjobs,buttohelpthembesuccessfulinlife.AsIlearnedmore,Ibecamemoreeffectiveinmyexecution.Mymethodsofteachingbecamelessconventionalandharsher,butwerenecessaryinordertohelpothers.Iputmyjobonthelineeveryday,goingaboveandbeyondmyresponsibilityasavicepresidentofacompanythatpaidmeahandsomesalary.Ididsobecausethesepeopleweregreatanddeservedgreatleadership.Whilemanydisagreedwithmeorfeltitwasn’tmyrighttohelptheminotherways,thosewhodidwelcomethehelpwillforeverprosperfromwhatthey’velearned.Theywillhelpothersaswell.Ichosetotaketheriskoflosingmyjobforthesakeofotherslearning,andIdidthatbecausethemindsetIhavegrownhasalwaysbeenabouttakingaction,notjustgoingwiththeflow.IfIwantedthemtohelpme,ifIwantedthemtobesuccessful,andifIwantedthemtobeonmyteam,Ihadtomakethemunderstand.Icertainlycouldn’twaitforsomeoneelsetocomerescuemeanddowhatIcouldhavedonefromthebeginning.Youasaleaderarecapableofthesamethingswhenitcomestogrowingtalent,butnotmanywilltaketherisksinseeingtheexecutionallthe

waythrough.Thereareelementslikefear,entitlement,emotions,andmorethatcomeintoplayandpreventotherleadersfromacting(FirstCirclepeople).Theirintentionsaregood,buttheirabilityhasn’tgrownenough.ItwouldbeselfishofmetowaittilltomorrowforotherstodowhatIcandotoday.TheriskItakeisdangeroustomyownwell-beingbutiscertainlynecessary.MytolerancegrowsthickerwitheacheffortandallowsmethestrengthandbeliefneededtostartsomethinglikeSecretEntourageandhelpthousandsratherthanhundreds.Itisultimatelythepracticeofwhatwepreachthatmakesusbetterandbetteratwhatwepreach,anditisourabilitythatisshowcasedeachdaythatdrivestheinfluencewediscussedearlieron.

ForyoutograduatethisveryimportantsliceoftheSecondCircleknownasleadership,youmustbeabletoputyourselfsecondtothoseyouleadeveryday.Nomatterhowtoughthesituationgets,youmuststillbewillingtogiveupyourcomfort,pleasure,orwell-beingforthesakeofthebiggerpicture.ThisisveryimportantasitisthegraduatingslicethatallowsyoutomoveontotheThirdCircleandthereisnowayaroundit.Youhavetotakeownershipofsituationsregardlessiftheyinvolveleadingpeopleorsimplyseeinganactionthroughtoitsconclusion.TheleaderinyouandyourabilitytoputpeopleorcausesaheadofyourselfmustbeunderstoodbeforesuccessfullyventuringintotheThirdCircle.Thenextslice—eventhoughinnatureisSecondCircle-based—isnotanabsoluteinyourabilitytomoveon,butanimportantskilltounderstandsoyoucanremainsteadytravellingthroughtheThirdCircle.

Perception

“Everythingwehearisanopinion,notafact.Everythingweseeisaperspective,notthetruth.”—MarcusAurelius

Previously,IexplainedthatmanipulationasitpertainstoleadershipisnecessaryinordertograduatetheSecondCircleandgetclosertodefiningyourexistence.ThereisacomponenthoweverinmanipulationthatplaysavitalroleforyouintheSecondCircle.Althoughnotaspronouncedasleadershipintermsofimportance,itisaveryimportantskillsetknownasthemanipulationofperception.

Oftenusedbyselfhelpgurustobringawarenesstotheirproductorservice,perceptionisunderstandingwhatotherpeoplewant,howtheythink,whattheysee,andthendeliveringthemjustthatinafashionthatmakespeoplebelieveinit.Youcouldthinkofperceptionasthetoolusedtocreatebelief,evenifinyourself.

AsyoumastertheelementsoftheFirstandSecondCircles,youbecomeamastermanipulatorofyouremotions,reactions,andmoreimportantlyofthatsameenvironmentwhichyouwitnessedforallthoseyears.Thesameenvironmentothersaroundyouarewitnessingandthatyouarepartofisnownolongerauthentic,butentirelycreatedasyouwouldwantotherstoseeyou.Similartotheguruswhousematerialitemslikecars,homes,andwatchesthatarenottheirstocreateanenvironmentthatothersdesireenough;theycreateafalsesenseofhopeforothers—inessence,tobenefitthemselves.Thereasonthisindustryissohighlydistrustedisexactlythatfakeaspectofitthatsomecreate.IntheSecondCircleyouseethattypeofmanipulationandyounotonlydon’tbelieveit,butwithyourgoodintentions,youseeitaspeoplebeingtakenadvantageof.Youchoosetofightit,especiallyifyouhavethepowerto.Imyselffightitasthisindustrydoeshavealotofgreatideasandcontenttoshare,butispollutedbythosemanipulatorswhoareinitsolelyfortheirself-gain.Theytrulyruinthenatureoftheindustryitself.

Masteringperceptioniscritical,eventhoughitsrelevancetoyourgraduationtotheThirdCircleisnotashighlyweightedastheleadershippiece.Nonetheless,itdoesholdrelevancetoactuallyhelpingyoufindwhyyouexist.Theperceptionelementwediscussisnotthesameas“fakeittillyoumakeit”andhasnomanipulativetraitassociatedwithit,butrathermoreaboutbeingfullyawareofhowothersseeyou,andthemessageyouaresellingbyjustbeingyourselfeveryday.

Toomanypeoplearetooself-centeredtocareabouthowothersperceivethem,ortheyactasthoughtheydon’t.Thosewhodeclare,“Idon’tcarewhatothersthink”,automaticallycontradictthemselves.Ashumanswhohaven’tmasteredtheemotionalintelligencegame,thisresponsebyitselfisemotional.IfyouaremoreadvancedinyourmindsetandhavemovedthroughtheCircle,youwouldrespondtosomeone’sdislikeofyouoryouractionsbyaskingwhy.Thenyouwouldfocusonhowyoupresentedyourselftobeunderstoodthatway.Thisnon-emotionalandeducationalresponseenablesyoutotweakyourdeliverysoyouwillbeclosertothewayyouseektobeunderstood.

TheThirdCircle’sdefinitionisaboutselflessness.Seeingtheworldwithoutemotionalreactionsenablesyoutoviewtheworldinitstrueformwhichinunalteredbyadvertisingandpolitics,thenyoumustmakesurethatpeopleunderstandyouthewayyouwishtobeunderstood.Eventhoughtheycertainlydon’tallneedtoagreewithyou,youshouldstillbeconsciousofhowothersseeyou.Youaremovingtowardsaplacewhereyoumustexaminetheworldfromtheoutsidein,ratherthanlookingaroundyouandmoveaheadinthedirectionsyouaregiven.Thisincreasedfieldofvisionhelpsyouremainawaretomoreofwhat’sgoingonaroundyou.

Intheleadershipsection,Iexplainedwhypeopleshouldfollowyouandhowgreatleaderspositivelyimpactthelivesoftheirfollowers,keepingtheirbestinterestsatheart.Ifyouplantoleadothers,thenyoushouldbeverymuchawareofhowfollowersperceiveyou,sothatyouunderstandwhytheyfollowyou.Ifyouarealwaysportrayingtheimageofmoney,success,andextravagance,thenperhapstheyarefollowingyouforjustthat,andnotfrombeliefinorunderstandingofwhatyouareworkingon.SteveJobs,co-founderofApple,certainlymadeanenormousamountofmoney,andwasveryinfluentialtothoseheinteractedwith,buttothisdayIcouldn’ttellyouwhathishomelookedlike.However,IcantellyouthathewasaperfectionistandpassionatetowardshisroleatApple.Heshowedusjustwhathewantedustorememberhimfor—hisinnovations—andnotthelifehelivedoutsideofApple.Hismessagewasconsistentwiththeperceptionhecreated.Otherestablishedindividualsdotheexactoppositebyshowcasingmoney,cars,andhomes.Inreality,theyoftenhavelessthanthosewhodon’tputtheirluxuriouslifestyleonpublicdisplay.Itistheperceptiontheywantotherstoseeofthem.Thisbehavioroftenresultsfromchasingmoneyandifyourecall,theoneswhochasemoneyvalidatetheirexistencethroughhowmuchofitthey’vemade.Ifyoubelieveperceptionisbaseduponmoney,youarenotreadytograduatethisCircle.

TheexampleofSteveJobsworkswellherebecausehecouldhavechosentomakehislife’spursuitsaboutmoney,butinsteadchosesomethingotherthanhimselftoportraytoothers.Ultimately,thatisexactlywhatpeoplerememberhimfor.Hislegacywillliveonforever.StevetrulywasApple,andherepresenteditevenbeforehimself.AlmosteveryonewithaniPhoneknowsthenameSteveJobs,buthowmanywithSonycomputersknowthecompany’sCEO?Moneychasersareonlyrememberedformoney,whichmeanstheyarerarelyrememberedatall.

Masteringperceptionisaboutunderstandingthepersonayoudisplaytoothers.Withtime,youlearntocontroltheperception,makingyouanevenbetterleader.Onceyouarewillingtofaceuptoyourflawsandstrengthsandarewillingtoseeyourselfforwhoyoutrulyare,youwillseetheworldforwhatitreallyis.Thepeoplewhoarenotwillingtofacethemselvesfearwhattheymightsee,butwhetheryoulikeorhatethecircumstanceyouarein,thefasteryouacceptwhoyouare,thefasteryoucanimprove.

TheSecondCircleSummary:TheAwakening,theLeader,andtheAchieverareallusedtodescribethedifferentphasesyougothroughintheSecondCircle—andrightfullyso.Thisisthephaseinwhichyouwakeupfromyourdream.Yourealizeandacceptyourtrueenvironment.Yourmindbecomesawareoftheconceptsoflife.Youleadotherswhenyouhavegatheredenoughinformation.Forthemostpart,astrongphasefullofachievementmotivatesyoutokeeppushingaheaduntilyouforgetwhatyouarepushingfor.Despitenotbeinggood,itisnecessarytopushforwarduntilyoucanformapurposeforwhyyoupush.

YourultimategoalingraduatingtheSecondCircleishighlydifferentfromtheFirstCircle,whereyourfocuswasgrowthandpersonaldevelopment.WhilethereisroomtoimproveFirstCircleattributesintheSecondCircle,thereisagreateremphasisoncontroloveryourselfandreinforcementofyourlogicoveryouremotions.Youmustlearntoletgoofyourfearsandinsecurities,andinsteadletyouremotionsremainwithinyourcontrol,ratherthandictatingyouractionsorreactions.

IfyouarereadytograduatetheSecondCircle,youunderstandtheseconceptsandstarttounderstandthattheworldyouliveinissimplytoocomplexandtoocrowdedforittorevolvearoundjustyou.Thisrealitysparksthenaturalfeelingthatifyourpurposeinlifeisnotaboutjusthavingchildrenandpassingthebatontoanothergenerationorperhapsaboutmakingmoney,thenwhatcoulditpossiblybe?

IknowIcannotbethepersonwhotellsyouwhatyourpurposeis,butifyoulivedintheSecondCircle,youwouldknowthatbeforeyouevenstartedreadingthisbook.WhatIcandoissharewithyousomeuniqueexperiencesthatcanhelpyouunderstandthepathIchosetotakeinordertodiscovermyownpurpose.Icanalsobreakdownthecomponentsthatotherscanidentifyintheirownlivesinordertodothatforthemselves.AsIstudiedthelivesandstoriesofsomeoftoday’smostwellknownbusinessownersandalignedmyinterpretationofmyexperiencesinthegrandschemeofthings,Idiscoveredthatourpathsallsharedcertainsimilarities.ThosesimilaritiescanbeacknowledgedfromexperienceagainbutinfourdistinctcategoriesthatformtheThirdCircle.

TheThirdCircle

ComprisedoftheVision,thePurpose,andtheRebirth,theThirdCircleisallaboutyourquestforthevalidationofyourexistence.Despiteitnotbeingsoclearrightfromthestart,theThirdCirclefocusesheavilyonthesearchforanswerstosomeoflife’smostcomplexquestions.Whenyouachieveandunderstandthedynamicsofsociety,youfeelasthoughyouaremeantformorethanjustthesameroutineofgoingtowork,makingmoney,enjoyinglife,andretiring;youfeelliketherehastobemoreandthatyouperhapsneedtobetheonetobreakthemoldforothers.

Thisisaphaseinyourlifethatyoucanchoosetopursue,althoughyoumightdecidetoholdbackinsteadandcontinueyourroutinebecauseit’sjusttoodemandingtofindtheanswersyouseek.

Rememberthatmostoftoday’sgreatestinventions—whethertechnologicalorprocess-based—allresultedfromsomeoneelse’svision,belief,andpassionandallmixedtogethertocreatethispowerfulenergythatenabledthemtoseeitthroughtotheend.ImaginethedeterminationanddriveittookEdisontosticktocreatingthelightbulbwhenhefailed10,000times.Howmanypeopleactuallyhavetheenergyandgutstorepeataprocess10,000timesuntiltheygetitright?

Thispowerfulforceovertakesyouwhenyouarepurpose-drivenratherthanmoney-driven,becausewhilethequestformoneyeventuallygetsold,thepurposeneverdoes.Itbecomesaquestionofefforts-to-rewardratio.Ifsomethingdoesn’tmakemoneyafterawhile,thenyourmindventureselsewhereandseeksoutotheroptions,evenifthatmeansgivingupthatideaorprojectaltogether.ThinkaboutEdison.Hisgoalwasn’ttomakemoney,buttocreatelight.AnalyzeSteveJobs’mission:itwasnottocreateacomputerthatwouldmakehimmoney,butrathertosimplifytechnology.TheWrightbrothersalsohadnointentionsofbuildingairplanes,butratherwantedtoenablemantotakeflight.Therealdifferenceisthattheirdeliverywasnotaboutcreatingaproducttomonetize,butrathertobringanideatolife—inEdison’scase,quiteliterally—anditwasoftenanideathatthemajorityeithercouldn’tbelieveorunderstand.Thinkabouthowweirditmustbeforyoutobuyintotheideathatamanfromhisgaragecantakethemostadvancedtechnologywehaveandsimplifyit,orhowabouttwoguysinabarnsimplysaymanshouldn’twalk,butratherfly.Asimpossibleasitmayhaveseemedbackthen,theseindividuals

defiedtheoddsandreachedforwhattheybelievedtobepossible,notwhatsocietytoldthemtheycouldorcouldn’tdo.TheylearnednotonlytolivewithinthedynamicsoftheThirdCircle,butalsooutsidetheboundariesofthemselvesandtheCircleitself.

TheThirdCircleitselfisthefinalstageofyourlife’spathwherenotonlyyourexistenceisvalidated,butyourlifeisdefinedbyallyourpastexperiences.It’syourhumansidevalidatingthatyourlifewasnotmeaningless.Itwasn’tfortheconstantpursuitofmoneybutratherforachievementandcreatingvalue.

RememberthatenteringtheThirdCircledoesnotmeanfindingyourpurpose.Instead,youareworkingtowardsmasteringtheThirdCircleitselftodefineyourexistence.TheCirclecontainsfouressentialstepsyoumusttakeinordertobeabletomasteritsconcept:Vision,Entrepreneurship,Legacy,andLifestyle.

Lifestyle

You’veundoubtedlyheardoflife/workbalanceanditsimportanceinyourgrowth.Youhaveahumanneedtobalancewhatyoudowithwhyyoudoit,sothatyoucanreplenishyourenergyandcontinueworkinghardertowardsyourgoalsbecauseyouwantto.Inmyownlife,Ihavealwayslackedthisbalance.IamgoingtotellyouwhyandhowIneverneededtotakeadayoff.Firstofall,thereisasignificantdifferencebetweentakingtimeoffmentallyandphysicallynotgoingtowork.ThosewhoknowmewilltellyouthatItraveloften,butyetnevertakeadayoff,partlybecausemymindisconstantlyonedge,analyzingallIseearoundmeinordertohelpmefindsolutionsfortodayortomorrowasitpertainstomyownlegacy.

Whenyoureachacertainplateauinlife—onewhereyoufindenoughmoneytolivecomfortably—youchoosetospendmoneyonthingsthatsimplymakeyouhappierandencourageyoutokeepworking.Thesethingsarenotnecessarilymaterial-based,andcanalsobebasedondonatingtime,investingmoney,orjustaboutanythingelsethatbringsyouemotionalhappiness.About20percentofyouremotionalhappinesscomesfrommoney.Eventhoughmostpursuemoneytheirentirelife,moneyitselfcreatesonlyasmallportionofyourlife’sjoy.Theremaining80percentcomesfromfulfillment.Whatisoddaboutthisdistributionisthatdespiteknowingthatmoneyalonedoesnotbringtruehappinesstopeople,thosewithenormousamountsexceedingtheirneedsstillchoosetoseekmore,hopingtheirfeelingstowardsthesituationperhapswillchange.If$10milliondidn’tbringyouhappiness,whywould$20millionbeanydifferent?ThisisthefalsehopeIdescribedearlier,thatsomewealthyindividualsconvincethemselvesthatmoremoneywillhelpthemdeterminetheirpurpose,orthatmakingmoneyiswhattheyweremeanttodo.

Asyouearnenoughmoneyandmasterdifferentwaystomakeit,yourlifestyleexposesyoutoyetanotherveryimportantsegmentofsociety.Mostmeasuresuccessbylifestyle,butthatisahighlyinaccurategauge,assuccesslooksdifferenttoeveryone.

Thereareindividualswhospendmoneyoncars,homes,clothing,travel,andjewelry.Whilethat’sgreat,othersreinvestthesameamountofmoneyelsewheretoattempttoearnmorefromit.Theirtolerancetospendingisdifferent,basedontheirpastexperiencesandobservations,whichformstheirmindsettoday.Considersomeonewhoearns$120,000annuallyandanotherpersonwhohas$250,000savedbutearnsnosalary.Bothcanaffordtobuyluxuriousitems,yeteachonewilllookatthesamescenariofromtwolenses.

BuyerAwiththe$120,000incomewillthinkoftheexpenseasa$1,400monthlypayment.WhileBuyerBwiththecashreserveswillviewthepurchaseas$100,000lessofsecurity.Whilebothattainthesamelifestyleanditems,eachhasadistinctreasonwhytheywouldorwouldn’tmakethatpurchase.Tothegeneralpublic,thebuyerwiththeexpensiveitemhasmoney,yetthepersonwiththecashtechnicallyisinamuchbetterpositionthantheonewiththeincome,eveniftheychoosetonotbuythecar.BasedonwhatBuyerBobservedinearlychildhood,shemayormaynothavethetolerancetoletgohalfofhersavingstofundalifestylebasedonluxury,ratherthanneed.Thetolerancetospendingwilldictatehowonepersonlivesandisnotagooddeterminingfactorofsuccess.

Lifestyle,asitpertainstosuccess,shouldbedeterminedbyyourexposurelevel.Wediscussedearlierthatexperiencingmoreoflifeenablesyoutounderstandmoreofitsconcepts.Lifestyleistheentrypointintodifferentworldsthatnotallareprivilegedtoexplore.

Ifyouthinkabouttheexposurethatpeoplewithwealthofover$10millionhave—ascomparedtothosewithworkingincomesover$100,000—you’llseeasignificantdifference.Theirglobalexperiencesofluxurylifestyleconcepts,services,andideasaffordthemmoreexposurethanmost.Asaresult,theirideasencompassabroaderrangethanthosewithamorelimited(localornationwide)scope.

Travelisonlyoneelementofhowlifestylecomesintothelifeequation,butitiscertainlyanimportantone.ThisalsoexplainswhyimmigrantsworkmuchharderthanAmericansinthiscountry,astheforeign-bornappreciatethevalueofemployment;theyworkedmuchharderintheircountryforlessmoney.Theirpastworkhabitstomaintaintheirjobsallowsthemtoexcel,whileothersherewithoutthatglobalexperienceofjobshortageshavenofearoflosingit.So,theyworktheleastpossibleamountforthecomfortablepaytheyreceive.Whiletheimmigrantswhocomehereinsearchofopportunitiesmaychoosecontinuetoworkharderinsteadoftakingastepbackandpursuingandfurtheringtheireducation.Thelackofemphasisoneducatingthemselvesandpursuingtheirdreamskeepsthemajorityofimmigrantsinlabor-intensivejobs.MostAmericansingoodeconomictimeswillsaythatimmigrantsareneededbecausenoAmericanwantsconstruction,cleaning,farm,orotherlabor-intensivejobs.Yet,inbadeconomictimes,theyalsocomplainthatimmigrantsaretakingallthejobsandblamethemfortheirunemployment.

ThismentalityisingrainedinmanyAmericans—blamingothersfortheirmisfortuneratherthantakingchargeandacceptingaccountability.Thosewho

arebornintheU.S.,wholivehere,andonlyexperiencethisculture,remainunexposedtotheglobalworkhabits,economy,andideasexistingallaroundus.

Onemoreelementenablesyoutoleveragelifestyleinyourquestforpurpose—thedailyreminderthatyouarefree—notboundtodoingonlywhatyouaretold,butratherwhatyouwant.Youdon’tbuythehouseyouneed,butratherthehouseyouwantandyoucertainlyletthisapplytootheraspectsofyourlife.Similartojustgivingyouanentrypointintoanewworld,thefreedomyouearnwithmoneyandthroughlifestyleenablesyourmindtowonderandreinforcesyourunderstandingoftime.Youenjoyyourtimeandnolongerseethedaysasburdensandrepetitiveroutines.IntheThirdCircle,youwantmoreexperiences,morefreedom,andmoreinformation,whilethosewhoremainintheFirstCircleonlywanttowakeuptoexistthroughanotherday.

ThiskeydifferentiatorreinforcesallthequalitiesoftheFirstandSecondCircles.Propelledbythisdistinction,youproceedintotheThirdCirclewithvelocityanddrive,bothofwhichyouwillcertainlyneedpriortoundertakingtheEntrepreneurandLegacyslicescomingup.

HereisaquickstoryabouthowIleveragedlifestyleinmyownlife.Overthepast10years,Ihaveownedmorethan35cars,themajorityofwhichwereexoticorluxurycars.WhileotherssaidthatitwasawasteofmoneyorIsimplycouldn’tmakeupmymind,Ilookedatthisexperiencethroughanentirelydifferentlens.WhenIdidn’townexoticcars,IalwayswonderedwhatitwasliketobethatguywhopulledupinfrontoftheclubinaLamborghini,whowentoncarralliesinaPorsche,orwhoparkedhisFerrarifarfromeveryoneatthemall.Thiscuriosityledmetoseekwaystobecomeeachindividualpersonatsomepointoranotherinmylife.Moreimportantly,thisdesiredrovemetoconstantlychangecarsinordertoexperiencewhatitwasliketoowneachmodel,despitethefactthatsomeweresuperiortoothers,andthatmychoicemadenosensetoanyoneelsewhyIwouldtradeupordown.Tome,owningthesecarswasneveraboutfindingtherightone,butratherexperiencingthefeelingofowningthem.Intheend,Inotonlylearnedaboutindividualswhoboughteachmakeormodelofthesecars,butalsogainedtheunderstandingofhowothersperceivethem—answeringthequestionthatmotivatedmeinthefirstplace.Itwasmywayofknowingwhatitwasliketobe“thatguy”andalsomotivatedandpushedmetounearthnewgroundinmyownlife.

Beingexposedtolifestylenotonlyallowedmetobetterunderstandpeople,butalsotoexperiencealeveloffreedomandobserveaworldpreviouslyclosedtome,regardlessofhowmuchmoneyIhadsaved.Ilookedatlifestyleasan

investmentinmyselftocontinuetogrowpastthisunknownworld.

Lifestyleopensdoorsforyousothatyoucanbegrantedaccessintonewworldscontainingnewinformation,whichenablesyoutothinkglobally.Then,younolongerlimitwhatyoudeempossiblejustbecauseyouhaven’twitnessedthem.Thinkabouttheboundariesofyourthinkingaswideasthepossibilitiesofyourvision.

Vision

TheVisionsharesitsnamewithoneofthemainthreeattributesthatthiscirclerepresents.Itwillmostlikelybecomeyourobsessionforyearstocome.Asmentionedearlier,yourabilitybynowtoidentifytheconceptsandsystemsaroundyougloballyishighlyadvanced.Itisnoweasierforyoutoseewithinthescopeoffivetotenyearsratherthanonetothree;yet,itisstillnotclearastowhereyoufitintheequation.

Asyouenvisionwhattheworldcouldbe,notjustyourcurrenttownorstate,youseektotakeadvantageofanymissinglinks.Youunderstandthatextraordinarypeopleseemoreoflife,sotheyshouldbeabletoachievegreaterthingsandfixtheworld’sproblemssinceyounowseewhatthoseare.Nowthatyouseewhereyoufitintothegapsofsociety,itbecomeseasierforyoutoenvisionwhatthesolutionswouldlooklikeifpatchedorfixed.Withyournewskillset,itiseasiertodefinewhetherthechallengeisafightyouarepreparedtotackle.

Avisionisanotadream,butratheralookthroughthe“whatif”lens,basedonyourpastexperiences.Visionislikeyourroadmaptolife—oryourlifegoal—andnavigatingwithoutitwillbedifficult.Ifyoudon’tengageinentrepreneurship,itisusuallycausedbyalackofclearvision.Eitheryoucan’tseewhatsomeoneelseseesthroughtheirvisionoryouhaven’tbuilttheskillsnecessarytohaveavisionforyourself.

YourlimitedexperiencesthatyoudefinedintheFirstCirclehaveleftyoushortsighted.Youcanonlyseeoneyearaheadatthemost.Visionisnotalwaysbasedonbusinessideasandcancertainlyrelatetoenvisioningthelifeyouwantforyourself,butasIsaidearlier,youmustdomorethanmerelysayyouwantacastleandFerrarioneday.

Visionisaboutbelievinginthe“whatif”youcansee,combinedwiththebeliefdescribedintheFirstCircle(whichcomesfromenoughinformationtocreatecuriosityandacceptanceoftheinformation).IfyouliveintheThirdCircle,youaremoreawareandcapablethanthoseintheFirst.Youhavemasteredtheabilitytoactratherthanreactandarenolongeraby-productofyourenvironment.Younolongersitthere,justwaitingforthingstohappentoyou.WhenyoucoupleyourvisionwithalltheattributesfromtheFirstandSecondCircles,youhaveastrongfoundationonwhichtobuildyourvision.Agoodpathappearsinfrontofyou,andthemapisclearerthanever.Ontheotherhand,ifyouseesuchvisionbuthaveyettolearnandmastertheattributesinthefirsttwoCircles,youprobablydon’thavetheskillsetrequiredtotransformyourvisiontolife.The

failurealoneinthiscasewillactuallyenhanceyourawarenessevenmoreandbepartofthelearningexperiencesoftheFirstandSecondCircles.

Ideasthatcomefromtimetotimearealsonotvisions,andcertainlydon’tactasadrivingforcestrongenoughtokick-startthechangeyouseek.Visiononlybecomesrealitywhennewbeliefiscreated—beliefwhichisnotalreadyinexistenceinnaturebutratherbeingcreatedthroughvision;beliefthatyouwillhavetogetotherstofollowyouon,usingyourabilitytospeakofyourvision.Yourvisioniscontagious;itisthisgreaterbeliefthatveryfewpeopleexperienceintheirlives.Asaresult,youacquirefollowersandstartanempire.FigureslikeSteveJobs,BillGates,HenryFord,RichardBranson,WaltDisney,SamWalton,andmanymorehadvisionsofwhatthefuturecouldlooklikeoftheirideaastheyimagineditcametolife.Theirvisionsarenodifferentthanyours,buttheirbeliefinthemselvesatthetimewasstrong,andtheirconfidenceenabledthemtolaunchtheirempires,despiteallodds.SteveJobsstartedApplefromhisgarage.WaltDisneywasfiredfromhisjobbecausehewastoldhelackedimagination.Bothmenbecameiconsthatwillberememberedforeverbecausetheyhadthecouragetostartsomethingtheybelievedin,eventhoughothersconsideredtheirendeavorsawasteoftime.

Anideaisnothingwithoutaproperexecution.Visiongivesbirthtoideas.Nonetheless,visionitselfasanattributethatcomesfromyourabilitytoseeaheadafewyearsfurtherthanthe98percentwholiveintheFirstandSecondCircles.Becauseyoucanpositionyourselfinfrontoftheupcomingchange,otherscannotanticipateorpredict.Onceyoudothat,yougointomyfavoritephase:entrepreneurship.

Entrepreneur

TheentrepreneurstageintheThirdCircleisoneofthedeterminingfactorsforyourgraduation;allotherslicesareprerequisitestobeingabletomasterthisspecificskillset.Asyouseemoreoflifeandunderstandmoreoftheconceptsthatcouldtrapyou,youcometothedecisionthatyousimplycan’tspendtherestofyourlifebuildingotherpeople’sdreams.Youfeelthatyouaretoovaluablefromamindsetstandpointtotakeordersfromindividualswhodon’tunderstandyouoryourcapacity.Itisarealizationthatyouwanttoseekmoreofliferatherthanconfineyourselfinyourcomfortzone.Youhaveagrowingdesiretostepawayfromthemediocreteamsandgroupsinwhichyouspentyouryoungerworkyears.Youdecidetoseekthealternativepathofentrepreneurship.Nojoborassignmentdoledoutbyothersfitsyouanymore.Yourealizethatyounolongerwanttobepartoftheratrace.Atthispoint,youarehighlymotivatedtotakeontheimmensechallengeofbuildingsomethingfromnothing.YourconfidenceistotheroofasyouarenownavigatingthroughtheThirdCircle,andyourbeliefinyourselfisincreasingasyoudiscardallthethingsyounolongerwant.

Whenyouundertakeentrepreneurship,youdosowithinarealmofyourpassionorexistingworkline.Yet,veryoftenyoufocusonwhatyouaregoodatratherthanonwideningyourhorizon.Skillsareimportantbecauseyoucanseewhatyouarenaturallygoodatandfindwaysinmultipleindustriesthatyoucanimpact.Ispentmanyyearsworkinginbanking,leadership,peoplemanagement,investing,andrealestate.WhenIstartedmakingmoneyinrealestateandfinance,Ididn’tconsidermyselfanentrepreneur,andIcertainlywasn’tthetypeofentrepreneurwearediscussinghereasnoinnovationoccurred—onlyincome.IknewhowtomakemoneyandIhaddiscoveredvariouswaysofmakingit.Despitenotworkingforsomebodyelse,theseventuresdidn’tbringmeanyadditionalvalueoverworkingforsomeoneelse.Yes,Iwasmakingmoremoneybutthatwasaselfishaspectthatdidn’tbringvaluetoanyonebutme.Whilemanypeopleconsideranyonewiththeirownbusinessanentrepreneur,Ihaveadifferentview.WhenIfinallyfocusedmyenergyandskillonleadershipandtalentmanagement,IfoundmytruepassionandwhatIbelievetobemypurpose.

EntrepreneurshipinthecontextoftheThirdCircleisaboutinnovationandadvancement,notself-employment.Self-employmentisaboutrisktolerance,notentrepreneurship.Entrepreneurshipisaboutenvisioningsomethingthatdoesn’texistandthenhavingtheabilityandmindsettobringittolife.This

innovationmustbeanewcreation,andnotabridgetofacilitateatechnologyasthosealsohaveveryshortlifespansandonlysurviveaslongasthetechnologydoes,whichisusuallylessthanfiveyears.Innovationisthedriverofentrepreneurship.Itisaboutgivingbirthtosomethingnew.Whenyouhaveanideathatyoubelieveunderscorestheprinciplesofyourstrengthsandchangestheplayingfieldsofsociety,thenyourreachisashighasyourpastobservations,whichtranslatesintobelief.Rememberthatyoucanachieveanythingyoubelieve,butcertainlywillfallshortifyouaimlow.

Michelangelosaid:“Thegreatestdangerformostofusisnotthatouraimistoohighandwemissit,butthatitistoolowandwereachit.”Youcanonlygoasfarasyoubelieveyoucango.IexplainedintheFirstCirclethatbeliefisbasedonyourpastobservations,whichleadtowhyyoushouldn’ttakeonentrepreneurshiptooearly.Somanypeoplewanttoworkforthemselvesandeveryonewantstobethenextsuccessstoryatayoungage,butveryfewpeopleundertakethatchallengefortherightreasons.Theydon’thavetherightmindset,experience,andbackgroundtoknowwhytheydoandthereforeeitheraimtoolowtooearlyoraimtoohighwithoutbeingarmedwiththeabilityandpastexperiencestohitthetarget.Mostofthepeoplewhofitthisdescriptionaremotivatedbymoney,notbyinnovationandvalue.Winninginentrepreneurshipisnotaboutbeingselfish,asthosethatfocusonmoneyare.Considerwhatwediscussedearlierabouttheconstantpursuitofmoneyandthereasonwhythisnever-endingquestleadsnowherethanjusttheaccumulationofmoremoney.Youendupchasingsomethingthatdowntheroadwillholdnorelevance.Whenyouarereadytotakeonentrepreneurship,itisbecauseyouarereadytonolongerbepartofthesystemthatsocietyhascreatedforyoutofitin.Yourealizethatyourmindissoadvancedthattherehastobeareasonforyouruniquevision.Whenyouembracethatreality,andyourvisionalignstoyourability,themostuniquegiftofthemallisborn—thatgiftiscalledanidea!

Legacy

Theword“legacy“comestomindwhenyoufeelthatyou’veidentifiedyourpurpose,butlegacyitselfisverydifferentfrompurpose,becausepurposeisbasedonbeliefandlegacyisbasedoneducationandability.

Legacydoesn’thavetooriginatefromhavingchildren,nordoesithavetodowithreligiousbeliefsorpractices.Weallwanttoberemembered,andwesomehowfeelthatchildrenwillcarryonournameandourlegacy.Butthatlogicexcludestwocriticalelements:

•Childrenwillnotalwayscarryyournameinthewayyouwanttoberemembered;and

•Itisunfairtoexpectthemtowinwhenyoufailedbygivingup.

WhenyouarestuckintheFirstCircleandtheword“legacy”comesintoplay,youthinkofyourchildrenorevenhavingchildren.Thereactionisfrequently,“IwillgivemychildeverythingIneverhad”.Wewanttofillavoidinourownlives.Iwillgoasfarassayingthatitisquiteselfishtoexpectotherstoaccomplishwhatyoucouldn’tandputtingallyourdreamsandhopesontheirshouldersratherthanyourown.

Understandthatyourchildrenholdnorelevancetoyourlegacy.They,themselves,willcreatetheirown,whichwilldifferfromyours,soitwillmeannothingtoyourfuture.

Whatyouhaveordon’thavedoesnotdictateifyouarerememberedornot.Whatyouhaveordon’thaveisnotameasureofyoursuccessorameasureofyourintelligenceormindset.Itisnothingmorethanyoursuccessrateatmasteringthegameofsociety,notthegameoflife.

ItisoutlinedforyoutogofromtheFirstCircletotheSecond,becausesocietyhasmadeitsuchforyou.TheyhaveestablishedallthestepsneededtosucceedinlifeandhavemadeiteasyforyoutoknowthatifyoudoXandgettoY,thenZisrightaroundthecorner.Societyhastakenthethinkingoutofbeingsuccessful,andyetdespiteallthesteps,roadmapsandprovenstrategiestheretohelpus,peoplestillchoosetonotconformorfollowthroughonbeingsuccessful.

Whatsocietydoesn’tdoismakeyouawareofthisThirdCircle.ThisoverarchingculturalguardactuallydoesagreatjobofprotectingyoufromseeingitorventuringinthedirectionofthisCircle,becausedoingsowouldmeanlosingyouasamemberofthissystemtheycreated.Itdoessobycreating

acomfortzoneforyouthroughdebtandastableincome,andthenremindingyouofyourdependencyonthissystemtoretainthisnewlygainedcomfortzone.

Whenyoustartquestioningwhatyourlegacyisandhowyoucanberemembered,youlookatyouractualaccomplishmentsandhowanyorallofthemcanbeactuallyrememberedpastyourdeath.Youthenhavetoquestioniftheyareacorrectportrayalofhowyouwouldwanttoberemembered.

Manypeopleneverovercometheirfearofdeath,simplybecausetheyfeeltherearestillsomanythingstheywanttoaccomplish.Forme,althoughadditionaltimewouldallowmetodoevenmore,IcancomfortablysaythatIhavenoregrets;Ihavedoneandseensomeamazingthings,bothformyselfandthosearoundme.

Legacytiesdirectlyintotrueentrepreneurshipbecauseentrepreneurshipissuchalonelyroad.Therearesomanyunknownvariablesthatmakeitsohardforjustanybodytotakethecourse.Sinceideasareuniquetoeachindividual,itmakesitimpossibleforotherstobringyourbusinessideastolife.Thisveryuniqueideabecomesyourideaandasaresultremindsyouthatthereismoreatstakethanjustmakingmoney,thereisthecreationoflegacy.Thisfeelingiswhatenablesyoutofinishwhatyoustarted,despitetheobstacles,failures,andmore.Thisfeelingiswhatmakesyoufeelpurposeful,ratherthanpartofamachine.Itempowersyoutocreatethechangeyouenvisionandgivesyouthestrengthtostandupeachandeverytimeyoufall.Yetitisnothingmorethanafalsepositiveasitisnothowyourpurposewascreated.Thisparticularstageinyourevolutionishowyoubecomecuriousaboutwhatyourpurposeis.Youneverexperiencedafeelingasamazing.Yousimplybelievethatthisnewdirectionyoufeelinyourheartmustbewhatyouwereborntodo.Youbelievethatdestinyisthereasonyourideaiscomingtolifeandeverythingelsealignswithit,butitissimplyanillusion.Therealityisthattheforcedrivingyouisyourabilitytoconnectthedotsforeverythingthathappensandyourunderstandingofthesystemsthatallowyoutotrulybringyourideatolife.Thisfeelingthateverythingwillbeokisnothingmorethananenhancedfeelingofself-acceptanceandself-belief.Thisfeelingofpassionisonlythebeginningofthetruejourneyaheadandafeelingthatyouwillsoonneverbeabletolivewithout.

WhatyoudefineasyourlegacywillholdasignificantimpactonyourpurposebecauseasyourememberfromtheFirstCircle,beliefisacombinationofeducationandawareness;therefore,ifyoudefineyourlegacybasedoneducation,itwillhelpformthebeliefofyourpurpose.

Nowthatyouhavedefinedwhatyourlegacylookslike,thetimehascometoembracethefinalactoftheThirdCircleTheory:Theremovalofyourselffromtheequationoflife.

ASelflessFinalAct

Beforeyoumakeyourmarkontheworldandyourexistencetrulymatterstothegeneralpublic,youmustlearnthatthisenduringmarkisnotaboutyouanymoreoryourexistence—asamazingasthatmayseemtoyou—isindeedaminisculedetailinthebigpictureofyourlife.Youmustlearnhowinsignificantyourproblemsaretotheworldbeforeyoucanmakesuretojustifyyoursignificancethroughyouractions.

Ifyoudiedtomorrow,whatwouldbedifferentfortheworldaroundyou?

Theideaofmaking—andleaving—yourmarkontheworldisnotaboutmakingeveryonerememberyou,becauseaswediscussedinthefirstfewpages,theThirdCircleTheoryisaboutremovingyourselffromtheequation,notplacingyourselfinthecenterofit.Makingyourmarkisfirstaboutdecidingwhatyouwanttoberememberedfor,andthenbeingabletofindwherethatfitsintotheworldyouliveinortheoneyouwanttoimpact.

Inthediagramabove,weseethatmasteringtheThirdCirclemeanshavingthetoolsnecessarytodisconnectyourselffromyouremotionssoyoucanlookattheworldfromathirdperspective—onewhereyoumeannothing.Youmustbeabletoacceptthattheworlddoesn’trevolvearoundyouandonlyyoucontrolhowyoufeelabouttheworldandthoseinit.Thecircumstanceofyourlife,theplacesyoulive,andthesocietyyoubelongtoarenothingmorethanafabrication.Thefeelingofbelongingtoareligion,group,business,organization,oranythingelseisonethatiscreatedbyyouandthereforeinyourcontrol.

Itisnotonethatyouconsciouslyfabricatedfromtheexperiences,people,andenvironmentsyouwitnessedtilltoday.Allowingyourselftocomprehendthat

everythingyouseearoundyouisthesamefabricationthroughsomeoneelse’sperspectiveallowsyoutounderstandthedepthofalltheconceptsaroundyou.

Youmusttrulyunderstandthatthesurroundingyouliveinisafabricationofwhatothersdeemednecessarytocreatethesocietyyouliveintoday.Fromyourfaithtoyourbeliefs,allofthemareareflectionofyourobservations.Thinkaboutthis,thosepeopleyouobservedalsoobservedotherstobethewaytheyare,whichmeansjustabouteveryoneisacopyofsomeonewhohasinfluencedthem.Ifyouunderstandthat,nomatterhowyoufeel,think,orwhatyoubelieve,itsimplydoesn’tmatterbecauseitisallfalse.Youtendtonotunderstandhowitispossiblethateverythingyouhavebeenconditionedtoseetilltodayisnothingbutacreationbyothers.

Onceyougettothisstageofdisconnectfromtheworldyouliveinandseerealityforwhatitis,notforwhatyouareshown,youstarttounderstandallthoseconceptswediscussedinthecircles.Youseehowoursocietymanipulateseveryoneinitlikeagiantgame,whereallofusplayarole.Youidentifytheroleyouweremeanttoplay,butthenchoosetonolongerplay.Yourealizehowquicklythatsomeoneelsereplacesyourroleandthesystemcontinuestooperatewithoutyou.Thesameoccurswhenyoudie;thosearoundyourememberyouforafewyearsandthemachineoflifecontinuestomoveon,andwhileyoumaythinkyougenuinelylivedagoodlife,youwilltakeallyourmemorieswithyouunless,ofcourse,thereisareasonforotherstorememberyou.Thatreasonmustbethatyouimpactedthemorthesystemtheyliveinonalargeenoughscalethattheywillbecompelledtoremember.

Keepinmindthatthemajorityoftheworldlivesforthemselvesandtheirowngain,pleasure,andemotionalsatisfaction.Whileyoucancertainlynowsayyouunderstandwhyyoushouldn’tliveselfishly,youalsorelatetothefactthatpeopleonlyrememberwhat’simportanttothem.

Removingyourselffromtheequationisalmostlikeaskingtheworld,“WhatisthatIcandotoserveyou?”andfindinginthoseanswers“WhatabilitydoIhavethatmatchestheneedsoftheworld?”

DoingwhatIamaskingyoutodoisnoteasyandthereisareasonthatonlytwopercentsucceedtobecometruevisionaries.Althoughdifficult,theachievementbringsyousomethingthat98percentoftheworlddoesn’thaveandwillneverfeeltrulyintheirheartandsoulandthatispeace—thepeacethatifyoudiedtomorrow,youcouldlookbackandsay,“IusedmytimewhilealiveexactlyasIwouldhavewantedto.”Youhavetounderstandthat,despiteyourtenure,wealth,

education,andalltheotheritemsyouaccumulatedthroughouttheyears,youarenodifferentthanthelocalhomelessguyyoumeetdownthestreet,andyouareneitherrichernorlessfortunatethanyourneighborwhoownsabeautifulhome.

Youarehuman,andjustliketherestofhumanity,yourmarkontheworldisestablishedthroughyouractions,notyouremotions.

WhenyougraduatetheThirdCircle,youhavemasteredcontroloveryouremotionsandunderstandyourplace.Asyoulookatlifeandyourenvironmentthroughanon-emotionallens,youcanseetheentirepicture,the360°,non-altered,non-editedormanipulatedenvironmentinwhichotherslivewithoutacluetoalltheforcesouttheredrivingtheirdecisions,logic,andactions.Withthisnewabilitytolookatlifefromthethirdpartylensyoucanidentifyopportunitiesmuchfasterandseegapsinthesystemthatyoumaybeabletoimpactandchange.Icanagreethatthestateofmindmaynotseemlikeahappyplace—possiblyaworldwithoutmuchpleasure—butultimately,itisaplacethatnotonlyaffordsyouthepowertoreachbeyondwhatothershaveaccomplished,butenablesyoutocreatechangesforsocietyandworkfromamuchmoresignificantplacethanonewheremoneydictateseverything.IfyouliveintheThirdCircleandgraduatepastit,youarenotwithoutfears,butratherinfullcontroloveryourfearsandoveryourabilitytofaceyouremotions.

Thinkaboutyourfriend’spoorlymanagedrelationships.Everyonehasoneofthosefriends.Thetwopeopleareunhappy,theyfight,andtheycanneveragreeonanything,yettheyprofesstoloveeachotherandstickaround.Despitehatingeachothermostofthetime,theyareunabletoseparate.Nomatterwhichcircleyoulivein,youtendtohaveanopinionaboutwhytheyshouldbreakup,buttheycertainlydon’trealizethisbecauseofthatemotionalblockthatkeepsthemfromacting—thatsameblockthatdoesn’texistinthiscasebecauseyouarenotpartoftheequation.Itismucheasierforyoutosay”youshouldbreakup”becauseyoudon’thavetodealwiththeemotionalresponseandpainthatcomeswithendingarelationship.Eventhoughyouareright—theyaremostlikelynotafitandwastingprecioustime—theystillwon’tactonthisuntilsomethingbadhappensandtheyadmityouwereright.Untilthen,however,theirfirstpersonapproachisfullofemotionsandyourThirdCircleperspectivedoesn’tneedtoseeeachsideoftheequationtomakearationaldecision,becauseyouareexposedtotheentirepictureatonce.Youcanidentifytheissuesmorequicklyandhandlethemwithoutmuchdifficulty.IfyoupicturetheThirdCirclehere,youwouldbelookingfromtheoutsideintotwopeopleintheCircleitself,butnonetheless,areexposedatoncetothetwopeopleandtheworldtheylivein,

givingyouanedgeinidentifyingasolution.Yourabilitytosurveyanentiresituationeliminatestheriskofmakingarashdecisionoronethatyouwilllaterregret.

Beingabletoprovidefeedbackfromathird-personperspectiveisexactlywhattheThirdCircleTheoryis,butmoreimportantlyitisnotaboutprovidingtheexternalinfluencesfeedbackthatyoucansee,whichtheycan’t,butratherbeingabletoidentifyyourownsituationsfromathird-personperspectiveratherthanyourown.Thisismuchmoredifficult,butifyouactuallyremoveyouremotions,youbecomeneutral;yousimplyanalyzeinformationandfindthebestsolutions,regardlessofhowtheymakeyoufeel.Seeingtheworldaroundyoufromathird-personperspectivemakesyourealizethatthereindeedisonlytwopercentofthepopulationwhothinkslikeyouandthattheremaining98percentcansimplynevergetpastthemselvesandtheiremotions.Theirliveshavenoconsistencyasaresult,andtheyaretrappedonanemotionalrollercoasterthattakesthemonatumultuousridetonowhere.

ThekeytoremainingintheThirdCircleandadvancingbeyondthescopeofthe98percentwhowakeeverydaynotseeingwhatyouseeistodotheoppositeofthem;keepyoureyesandmindoutsideofit.Bycontinuingyourexplorationofsociety,theworld,andallthewonderfulthingsyouareexposedto,younowhaveaverydifferentsetofeyes,andaverydifferentviewofthesamepicture.Isaidearlierinthisbookthatyoucouldlookatawallpaperonaglossysmartphoneandseethepictureitdisplays.Youcanappreciatethepictureandwhatitmeans,butifyoulookatthatpicturelongenoughandthroughthedepthofyourvision,youeventuallyseenothingmorethanyourownreflectioninthephone.Eventhoughit’sthesameitemandthesamesetofeyes,theviewsareverydifferent,basedonwhatyoureyesaretrainedtosee.Sinceyourmindnowhastheinformationitneeds,youreyeswillnaturallyseekthisinformationallaroundyou.

Thereisnorightorwrong,onlychoiceandoutcomeswhenyougraduatetheThirdCircle.

Choice,whichishighlightedintheFirstCircle,looksverydifferentonceyougraduatetheThirdCircle.Inyourearlieryears,youmakegoodandbadchoices.Itisveryeasytoidentifywhichchoiceswerewhich,basedonyourpastperspective.Whenyoulookbackafteryourpointofviewhaschanged,thecontextofchoicehaschangedaswell,andnolongerofferstwooptionslikerightorwrong,butratheronlytheoptionofchoiceitself.Forthoseofuswhocontrolouremotionalreactions,thentherecertainlyisnorightorwronganymore—

onlythechoicewemake.

Ifyousummedupyourlifebythechoicesyoumade,thenyoucertainlycanrevisityourlifeandrethinkyourpastpath,basedontheactionsyoutookinstead.Choicehasnorightorwrongvalue,butrathercreatesanopportunitytotakeornottakeaction(nottakingactionisanactioninitself).Eventhoughchoiceisneutralinnature,theactionswetaketosupportourchoicesleadtooutcomesthatarefavorableorunfavorable,butnonethelessinourhandstodecide.

ThisisthemindsetPre-ThirdCircle:Success=GoodChoicesorFailure=Badchoices

ThisisthemindsetPost-ThirdCircle:Choice+Action=Success

Therearetwoimportantfactorswhenlookingatthetwoequationsandwhattheymean.

1.ThePre-ThirdCircleequationrecognizesthetwotypesofchoicesandisreflectiveinnature.Peoplewhofeelastheydoandbelievethatchoicesaregoodorbadusuallyreflectontheirchoicesaftertheoutcomeshaveoccurred,whenitistoolatetochangethem.Youseethattheresultisfirstandthenfollowedbythereflectionoftheoutcome.Therearealsotwooptions,suchassuccessorfailure,andthereforethereisacleardivisionbetweenthetwochoicetypes.

2.ThePost-ThirdCircleequationtellsadifferentstory—onlyonechoice,oneoption,andoneoutcome,butactionoccursbeforeoutcome.Therefore,controlofchoiceisestablishedratherthanallowingnaturetotakeitscourse.Thereisnoreflectionofoutcome.Instead,changeisdictatedthroughaction.

Theactualequationsarenotverydifferentfromeachother.Onecouldarguetheyreflectthesamemeaning,whichtheydo,butthePre-ThirdCircleputsthepersoninthepassengerseat,whilethePost-ThirdCircleplacestheminthedriver’sseat.Inthepassengerseat,youdon’tcontrolthedestinationbecauseyouarenotacting(driving),butjustobserving,similartothePre-ThirdCircleequationregardingchoice.Whenyoueventuallyunderstandthat,asthedriver,youareincontrol,youcanchoosehowtoactandwheretodrive.Youcertainlyhaveeveryrighttomakesureyouonlystopatthedestinationyouseek.Ifyouchoosenottodrive,you‘reabletogowheretheother98percentalreadywentoraregoing.

OnceyougraduatetheThirdCircle,younolongerallowyourselftoridewithothers.Youunderstandnow,betterthanever,thatnochoiceisgoodorbad.Itis

onlyachoicewithanoutcomebasedonyouractionsfollowingthatchoice.Youandonlyyougetoutwhatyouputintothechoiceitself.Let’susestartingabusinessasagreatexampleofhowthisworks.

Ifyouchoosetostartabusiness,thenmanycouldargueitwaseitheragoodorbadchoice,dependingonwhetheryougetasignificantrewardorsimplyloseeverything.Forthepre-ThirdCirclepersonthatfeelsthatthatparticularbusinessstartedwasabadchoice,hesimplydoesn’tseethattheoutcomewasinhishands.

Success=Greatrewards

Failure=Losemoneyandtime

NowifyoulivepasttheThirdCircle,thenyoulookatthesamesituationbutaddtheactionpieceintheequation.ThePost-ThirdCircleequationlookslikethis:

Choice(Startabusiness)+Action(Workingveryhard,andnotgivingup)=Success(Creatingasuccessfulbrand)

Anothercommonexampleismarriage.Youcanarguethatmarriageisbasedongoodorbadchoices,buttherealityhasnorelevancetothat.Hereiswhatthatlookslike:

Success=HavingaFamily

Failure=Divorce.

Post-ThirdCircle:

Choice(gettingmarried)+Action(findingacompatiblesomeoneyoulove,asthat’sonlyanemotion)=Success(long-lastingrelationship)

Onecaneasilysaygettingmarriedwasapoorchoicebecauseit’smucheasiertoputtheblameonanexternalfactor,butthoselivingpasttheThirdCirclecannotdothat.Theylivetheirlivesbytheactionstheytakeafterthechoicewasmade,whichisnecessarytoleaditintoafavorableoutcome.Eveninthecasethattheoutcomeisnotfavorable,itstillremainstherightone,becauseyoulearnedwhatdoesn’tworksothatyouneverrepeatthesamemistake.Ultimately,thereisneverabadchoice,onlychoiceitself.

HowitAppliesintheRealWorld

MorpheusaskedNEOin“TheMatrix”ifhewantedthebluepillorredpill.Thebluepillwouldmakeyouforgetanythingyoujustreadsoyouwouldwakeupeverydaytothesameworldyouknewbefore—youmayormaynotmake

moneyandeventuallywilldiehappy.Bytakingtheredpill,youwouldwakeuptoaworldwhereyouwouldhavetofighteverydayyoulive,onlytoseethetruth.

Thesamecanbeappliedhere,asyounowhaveachoicetomake.Itcanbeneithergoodnorbad,butratherachoicethat,withactionbehindit,willhaveanoutcome.Thechoiceyouhavetomakeistochoosebetweenyourselfandothers,whichcanbetricky.Youwillhavetochoosewhocomesfirst.Understandthatyouhavetodetachyourselffromothersinordertoreattachyourselfwitheveryone.Therightwayisanemotionlessdecisionandmucheasiersaidthandone.

Imaginethatyouhavetocommitanactofgenerositythattrulyinconveniencedyou.Youwouldreceivenothingatallinexchange.Wouldyoudoit?

ThewaytheThirdCircleplaysintherealworldisverysimilartothischoice,becauseyouunderstandwhyothersdowhattheydo,buttheydon’tunderstandyou.Sincemysteryisunpredictable,itcreatesanaturaldisconnectforpeoplewhentheyrunintoit.Ifsomeonewantstofightyou,insteadofprovokingthesituationfurther,youfindanalternativerouteofescapeprimarilybecausethelogicalstepistonotbeinasituationthathasnopositiveoutcomepossible.Thehardestpartistoidentifywhatthoseoutcomesareinasplitsecondandactingaccordingtotheguidelinesofthesituation.

Theidentificationisnotjustrecognizingtheimpactofyouractionsonyourlife,butalsolookingattherippleeffectofyouractionsonothersandconsideringtheirreactionsaswell.Thiscanprovequitedifficultifyouareconfusedbyanemotionalresponsetothesituation,suchasfear,anger,hate,jealousy,orjustaboutanythingelsethatcancloudyourjudgmentandaction.

Beingthiswayalsohelpsinmakingsuretimeisneverwastedandthatyouareactingdaily,notjustbecause,butratherwithpurpose.Youdon’tjustdothingstodothem,butratherdothemandunderstandwhyandhowtheyfitintothebiggerpictureofyourlife.Thispurposefulwayofbeingpromptsyoutoconstantlyanalyzeallfuturepossibilitiesuntilyoueventuallypieceeverythingyoudotogethertotrulyunderstandhowyoufitintoeachparticularequation.Moreimportantly,whenyoucombinealltheseequations,youdiscoverwhereyouactuallyfitinthetheoryitself.

TherealdifficultyyouarefacedwithisthatyouconstantlyliveyourlifeidentifyingandanalyzingriskonceyougraduatetheThirdCircle.Iamnotonlyfocusingonriskasitpertainstoyou,butitsimpactoneverythingelsearound

youaswell.Youoftentakerisksthatyoushouldn’tasitpertainstohelpingothers,asitputsyouatadisadvantage.

Ibelievemyindividualpurposeistohelpothersopentheireyestotherealitytheylivein.IusedtoplacemyselfatsignificantriskoflosingmyjobbecauseIpushedtheboundariesofleadershipwithpeoplewhocouldn’talwayshandleit.Theirreactionswerepredictable,soitwaseasytoprotectmyself,butnonetheless,whyputmyselfinthatsituationtobeginwith?Ultimatelybecausetheoutcomeofhavingonemorepersonchoosebetweentheredpillandbluepillwastoogreattoallowmyownwell-beingtopreventmefromhelpingthemgettothatstage.

Thatpurpose-drivencauseiswhatgivesmethestrengthtodetachmyselffromthefearthatriskholds.Iamnotwithoutfear,butIknowhowtokeepitfrommanifestingitselfsoIcanmoveforwardratherthantodoubtmyabilitytohelp.Wheredoesallthisphilosophicalstufflead?Whatdoesitallmean?

TheThirdCircleTheoryisnotjustabouthelpingyouwakeuptolife’srealitybutratheratheorythatexplainswhysomeofyouwillcreateempiresandsolutionstofacilitatetheworld’sgreatestchallengeswhileotherscreatebusinessesandworkalifetimetomakeafewbucks.Itexplainswhycertainpeoplemanipulatetheworldandwhyothersfindwaystohelphumanityaskingfornothinginreturn.Thetheoryalsoexplainslifeconceptslikeeducation,religion,andgovernment,andallowsyoutoseefromanunbiasedpointofviewwhytheworldisasitis,andwhyyouarewhoyouare.

Itisonlywhenyouseeinamirrorwhoyoutrulyare,andnotwhoothersexpectyoutobe,thatyouunderstandwhatyouarecapableofandwhatyoucanactuallyaccomplish.Onceyourealizehowmuchcontrolyouhaveoveryourlifeandthelivesofthosearoundyou,youunderstandwhereyoufitinandwhatyoucandotoplaceyourselfwithinyourfit.

Whenyouidentifyanideathatyouwanttobringtolife,anextraordinaryforcetakesoverandgivesyouthemotivationandstrengthyouneedtoachievetheverycompletionyouenvisioned.Theentrepreneurinyoubecomesresourceful—evenifyouarewithoutanyresources—andactsdailyuntilthevisioncomestolife.AllthoseexperiencesfromthethreeCirclescometogethersothatyoucansucceed,butitisn’tuntilyouemotionallydisconnectfromyourprojectthatyoucantrulytapintoitspotentialandallowittoblossompastyourexpectation.

WhytheSelfHelpIndustryWon’tWork

Therehavebeencountlessbooks,tutorialvideos,andprogramsallteachingyou

tomakemillionsandbecomesuccessful.WhileyoumightthinkthatregardlessofyourdesiretogrowpasttheThirdCircle,youcertainlycangototheSecondCircle,besuccessful,andmakemoney.Sowhycan’tyou?

Therealityisyoucan,butitisnotfromavideoortutorial;notevenprovensystemsthatwillhelpyougetthere,butratheryourself.Therealproblemwiththeselfhelpindustryisthatitsteachings,concepts,andattitudes,havebeendilutedbytoomanyprogramsthatarefocusedonteachingyouhowtomakemoney.Partlybecausemostpeoplewhostartselfhelpbusinessesareinthegameforaquickbuckthemselves;theirintentionswiththeprogramsarenottohelpyouchange,butrathercontinueyourbehavior.It’salmostaCatch-22,ifyouthinkaboutit.Inorderforyoutosucceedatallfromthesesystems,youmustbeintheSecondCircleandhavemasteredtheattributesoftheFirstCircle,butinmostcases,peopleintheSecondCircledon’tneedselfhelptogetthemoverthehump.Theyalreadyknowhowtobesuccessful.It’salmostlikesayingyouarecateringtoagroupintheFirstCirclewhomyouknowwillfail;therefore,theywillcontinuetopayforyourproductbecausethe“Dreamer”stagewantstograduatetheFirstCircle.Ihavemetmanyselfhelpgurusinmytimeandmanyofthemhavehadlongdiscussionsabouttheirprograms.Whatwasmostinterestingisthatthemostexcitingpartoftheirprogramishowtheymonetizeitratherthanhowtheyhelppeople,whichmademequestiontheirmessage.

Hereisagreatexampleofwhythesystemwillneverworkasintended.ThinkoftheFirstCirclepeopleasoverweightindividualswithbadeatinghabits,healthissues,andlackoffitness.Askeachofthemtopickupthelatestworkoutvideo.Theprogramguaranteeslosing10poundsinthreeweeks.Threeweekslater,it’sverylikelyallofthemhavelost10pounds,whichisgreat.Nowhereisthetrick.Askthemtokeepupwiththeweightlossprogramforanothernineweeksandthencheckbackinwiththem.Technically,theyshouldhavelostanadditional30pounds,butyounoticethatmostofthemwillhavenotlostmorethantheiroriginal10pounds.Partlybecauseoftheirhabitsandpartlybecauseoftheirenvironment,whichdespitetheintroductionofasolution,simplywasn’tenoughtosustainthehabit.Thefirst10poundswaseasytolose.Theyhadmotivationanddrivebecausetheywerebeingintroducedtosomethingnewandthemindsimplywantstosucceed,butwhenyougetpastthatinitialexcitementandtherestlookslikereallyhardwork,theconsistency(habit)wanes.Sincetheenvironmenthasn’tchanged(fridgelooksthesame),asuccessfuloutcomeneverreallyheldachance.

Thereasonwhyshowslike“TheBiggestLoser”areeffectiveisbecausetheyremoveobesepeoplefromtheirtoxicenvironment,givethemacontrolledone,andreinforcethatenvironmentbyhavingacoachwhocontinuestopushforthosemissinghabits,eventuallyleadingtochange.Thesamereasonsapplytotheselfhelpindustry.Itdoesn’tworkbecauseabookdoesn’tchangeyourenvironmentorretrainyourhabits.Allitdoesisawakenthemotivationtotry,butsinceyouhaven’tlearnedhowtosustainitbecauseyouhaven’tmasteredperseveranceanddrive,youoftengiveup.Thisiswhyallthesesystemsstartwith“IfIdidit,socanyou…”givingthatmotivationtoyourbrainthatit’seasy.ThisteaseappealstothosewhowanttheeasywayoutandinourFirstCirclethat’sreferredtoasthe”Dreamer”.

ThosepeopleintheSecondCirclewhochooseselfhelpastheirfocushaveoftenfiguredoutthistrickabouttheFirstCirclepeopleand,asaresult,havefoundawaytomonetizeit.NobodycanhelppeopleintheFirstCirclereachtheSecond,butthemselvesthroughobservation,practice,andhabits.ThatiswhyIwrotethisbook,aspeopleintheFirstCirclecannotbegivenasystemorsolutiontomovingoninlife,butalltheycanbegivenisinformationtobringawarenesstotheirproblems.Howyoudecidetoactonitwilldeterminehowmuchfartherinlifeyouget.Keepinmindthattheroadtosuccess—andtograduatingfromtheFirsttotheSecondCircle—hasbeentherefordecadesandyetpeoplestilldon’tfollowit.Wehavefactualevidencethatsmokingwillkillyouordamageyourhealth,butpeoplestillsmoke.SoitwouldbefoolishtobelievethatthepeopleintheFirstCirclewillgraduateasaresultofanysystem,book,orconcept.Itwas,afterall,Edisonwhosaid:“Opportunityismissedbymostpeoplebecauseitisdressedinoverallsandlookslikework.”

Mostsystemsouttheresimplyshowamapfordirectionbutthesystempreysonyourinabilitiesandlackofconsistencytogiveuphalfwaythrough.Mostselfhelpprogramstargetpeopleover30yearsofage,partlybecausetheyhavethemeanstopurchasetheprogramandhavelivedandformedtheirhabitsformoreyearsthanyoungerpeople,andhaveyettosucceed.Theyarethehardestonestochangebecausetheirenvironmentisalltheyknow.TheyhavelivedintheFirstCirclefordecades.Theylackthebehaviorsneededtosucceedanddon’tknowhowtochange.Theselfhelpindustryprovidesthemhopethataquickchangecanoccur,eventhoughitismuchharderforthemtobreak30years(ormore)ofhabits.

Inorderforpeopletoactuallyhelpyou,theymustliveintheThirdCircleandtakeagreatamountofrisk,byputtingthemselvesoutoftheircomfortzoneinto

yoursandasaresultexposingtheirownvulnerabilities.However,theymuststaywithyouwhileyouchange.TheymustalsounderstandwhatittakesandwhichbehaviorsyouneedtoreinforcebeforeexposingyoutotheSecondCircle.Itisveryeasytobecomesuccessful,astheroadmaphasbeendefinedathousandtimesastohowtograduatefromtheFirsttotheSecondCircle.Oncethebehaviorsandenvironmentaretweaked,thechangecanstarttooccurandbecomereal.ItisultimatelythejumpfromtheSecondtotheThirdCirclethatisthehardest.Noonecanhelpyoumakethisleap,partlybecauseitisaboutcontrollingyourinneremotions.Therecanbenothingbuttruthbetweenyouandyourperceptionofyourselfinordertokeepmovingforward.ThisbookcannotmakeyougraduatetheThirdCircle;itshouldcertainlyhelptobringawarenesstosituationsandtraitsthatevokearesponsewithinyou.Thisbookisonlyabook,anditscontentisnotameanstoanoutcomebutratheratriggertostartyourjourney.

AsImentoredpeopleovertheyears,Icametorealizethatabook,mywritings,ormyspeeches,couldneverchangepeople.Atbest,Icouldtriggerchangeinpeople.AsIgraduatedtotheThirdCircle,IrealizedthatifIwantedtoreachmorepeopleandcreateasignificantchange,Ihadtoundertakeitonepersonatatime.That’snotagoodalternative.Instead,Ichosetocreatevarioustoolstohelpevokeachangeinpeople,ratherthancreateyetanothermaponhowtogettothatplacewhereyouaresuccessful.Allofyouasindividuals—regardlessofwhichCircleyouliveinorbelongto—aresuccessfulinyourveryownways,andIcertainlyamnotthepersontotellyouwhichwaytotake.Mymotherherselfneverguidedmeintherightdirection,becauseshealsobelievedinnorightorwrong,butinsteadeducatedmeonlifesoIcouldchoosemyowndirectionandwhatitwouldmeanforme.Likeher,I’mofferingyouanabilitytolookwithinyourselfandthenchooseifyouhavelivedthelifeyouwantedorthelifeyouweregiven.Ifyouchoosetocreateachangebecauseyouandonlyyoudecidethatyouneedto,thenIofferyouthesupportthroughthesepagestoself-realizehowtocreatethatrealchangeyouseek.

HowFulfillmentandPurposeareDifferent

TherearethosewhothinktheyliveintheThirdCircle,butdon’t.Iamreferringtothosewhothinkthathelpingpeopleisallaboutgivingthemmoneyorajob.Youcan’tbuyfulfillmentandyoucertainlycannotgivesomeoneajobthatgivesyouaresidualreturnandexpectyourselftobesomeonewhohascontributedtosociety.Thereisnothingwrongwithgivingtocharityandcertainlynothingwrongwithdonatingyourmoneyforthesakeofhelpingothers,butitcertainly

doesn’tputyouintothesamecategoryastoday’sgreatproblem-solversorindividualswhodomakeadifferenceinsocietylivingselflessly.

DonatingmoneycreateswhatIcallafalsesenseoffulfillment—onethatdoesn’tlast,whichisultimatelywhyyoudoitmorethanonceandcertainlyarenotrememberedforit.Evenifsignificantinnature,youareonlyrememberedbythosedirectlyimpactedbythedonationitself.HowmanycancerorganizationstellthosebeingtreatedthattheirpillsarecourtesyofXpersonwhodonatedtotheXfoundation.Itisoftenthoseatthefoundationthataretheonesrecognizedfortheirworkbysociety.Theyaretheonesdoingtheworkforyou.Eventhoughyoufeelyourdonationisneeded,itcertainlyisnottheonlydonationthefoundationwillget—andyourdonationistaxdeductible,soyouarebenefitinginreturn.Icallthissocialresponsibility,notfulfillment.

Truefulfillmentcomesfromhavingapersonalpositiveimpactonsomeone’slife.Peopleneedtobehelpingpeople,nottheirwallets.Eventhoughyoucouldhireahundredpeopletoworkatafoodshelter,peoplegoingtheretoeatwon’thavetheopportunitytobeimpactedbyyoubutratherotherswhoworkforabuck.PeoplewholiveintheThirdCirclearespecialandempowering.Theyhavecharismaandtheirenergytranslatestothosetheytouch,whowillforeverrememberthepeoplewhohelpedthem.Thathumaninteractionofhelpinganotherhumaniswhatcreatestruelastingfulfillmentandahumanbondthatisrememberedbybothpeople.Imagineyoustoponthesideoftheroadandhelpsomeonewhosetireblewup.Yougetthembackontheroad.Assmallasitis,thatgestureisunforgettablebecauseitisnotsomethingpeopledoeveryday.Thatpersoninneedonthesideoftheroaddoesn’tknowyou,understandwhoyouare,orevenhaveinterestinhelpingsociety,willnotonlyforeverrememberyou,butbelieveme,whenIsaythatthepersonyouhelpedwillsomedaypassthatenergyforward.Itnotonlyfeelsgoodtohelpanotherperson,butcreatesconnectionstoothers.Thereisnoonepersonwhoisbetterthananother,buttherecertainlyareindividualswhoaremorevaluable;thisvalueisdefinedthroughhowmanypeopleyouhelp,theexperiencesyouaccumulate,andhowyoulive.Oneofthoseextraordinarypeoplefromsocietycanconnectwiththousandsofpeopleintheirlifetime,andhelpthemconnectwithothers,butyetthefunnythingisthatpersonlivingintheThirdCircleseeshimselfasequallyvaluableasothersthathavenotreachedtheThirdCircle.

Ifyoucanonlygetpeopletoinvestintheirmostpreciousasset—“themselves”—thenwecanseeamuchmoreimpactfulsocietythatdoesn’tmaintaintheselfish“WhyshouldIhelpyou?”mentality.Truefulfillmentcomesfromboth

theconnectionsyoumakeandthepositiveimpactyoumakewitheachofthoseconnections,andnotthatfalseprideyoufeelforashortwhilewhenyoudonatemoneyinexchangeforotherstodowhatyoucouldorshouldhavedone.

UnderstandingYourValue

Someoneonceaskedme,“Whatmakesonepersonbetterthananother?Isitmoney?Power?Educationorperhapsintelligence?”

Atfirst,itwasdifficulttoputameasureofhowonepersoncanbeconsideredbetterthananother,partlybecauseitwasn’tclearastowhohadtherighttoactuallydothemeasuring.However,themoreIthoughtaboutit,themoreIbrokeitdownintodifferentaspectsoftheCirclesandwhythatwassuchavalidquestion.SinceIamasystematicpersonandconsidermyselfabusinessman,itmadesensetolookatthisquestionfromthoselensesfirst.SoIdecidedtothinkofitasifIhadtochoosebetweentwopeople,howIwouldvalueeach,andwhyIwoulddoso.

Ithoughtofitfromthemeasureofmoney,butfeltitwasunfairtomeasureaperson’strueworthwithjustthatpieceofpaper.Moneyisasmallsegmentofacircle,soit’sunreasonabletouseitasavalidmeasurehere.Ilookedatitthroughthelensofacompanyfirst,whichappliesthemeasureofsomeone’sworthwhentheyarehiringthem—namely,thesalary.Thatfigureisoftenbaseduponexperienceoreducation,andthosetwofactorsenableacompanytoplaceamonetaryworthonsomeone.Aperson’sabilityisultimatelywhatgetssomeonehiredornot.

Fromlife’spointofview,ifyoutakemoneyoutofthiscalculation,thensomeone’sworthisonlybasedupontheirunderstandingoftheenvironmenttheyliveinandtheirabilitytosurvivewithinit.Therefore,theirabilityisacommonfactorofbothperspectives.Fromthispointofview,theabilitytosurviveissubjectiveonenvironmentandyourvaluewoulddiminishorincreasebasedonyourenvironment.Youwouldhaveonevalueifyouwereinthejungleandadifferentoneinabusycityandsothecontextofabilityissubjectivebasedonwhereyouareandtheskillsetyouacquire.Thenitleadstoyourabilitytoadaptasanewmeasureofvalue.

Ability,skillset,experience,education,adaptation,andtheelementsmentionedaboveareallfactorsthatdictatesomeone’svalue,yetthereisasignificantpiecestillmissing—onethatismostoftenmissedbyemployers,businesses,friends,and/orrelativesandthatdictatesthetruevalueofapersoninanycontext.

Thatsingleonethingisyourabilitytocontrolyouremotions.Ithinkthosewho

canmastercontrolovertheiremotionscanaccomplishanythingtheysetouttodo.Thatself-controlmakesthemvaluablebeyondanymeasureofmoney,success,orability.Thosewhoknowemotionsmakeusweak,despitemakingushuman,canpushtheboundariesofsocietyandgoplacesothershaveneverimaginedpossible.Theystanduptoenemiesneverheardofbefore,andhelpcreatetheworldtheywishtoliveinratherthantheonegiventothem.

ThatisthewayeveryonelivesintheThirdCircle.TheirlifecountsbecausetheycancontrolitunlikepeopleintheFirstCirclewho,despitehavingallthesameabilitiesandopportunities,choosetoremainwhotheyareanddoabsolutelynothingotherthanfollowalong.Asagraduateoflife’semotionalrollercoaster,youmustunderstandthatyouhavejustbecomesignificantlymoreimportantinsocietythantheaverageperson.Eventhoughyoumayfeellikeyouarenotbetterthananybody,youalsohavetorealizethatwhoyouarecancauseseriouspositivechangeinthisworld.Peopleshouldknowtheirworthandtheircapacityandmustaccepttheirstrengthsandshortfallssothattheycancontinuetogrow.

ExplainingLife’sSpiderWeb

AsImentionedearlier,therearecountlesssystemsouttherethatyouwillbeexposedtoasyoukeepadvancinginsociety—systemsthatarecreatedtohelpmaintaincontrolanddirectionforothersinsociety.Banksareapieceofthatsystem;governmentisanother;andtherearemanymore,dependingonwhichindustryyouarelookingat.Thesesystemsareinplacetohelpfacilitateameansofcontrolandensurethatfunctionalitylastsforthelonghaul.Whenthinkingaboutthedifferentcountriesandcontinents,wecanclearlyseedistinctioninwhichoneshavegoodsystemsandwhichhavenosystemsatall.Thosewithsystemsthatrunsmoothlyandefficientlyoftenhaveeconomiesandindividualswhoare,inmostcases,moreadvancedintheirwayofliving.By“advanced”,I’mnotreferringtosmarter,butrathermoreintheknowandadaptivetothecommonunderstandingoftheworld.Theseconceptsgetmorecomplexwithtimeandassocieties’needschange.Asaresult,theyneedmoreandmorepeopletomaintain,run,andfundthem.Nomatterwhichwayyoulookatit,youarepartofthesesystemsthatmakeupsociety,evenifyoudon’tlikeit.Thetaxsystemisjustoneofthesesystems.Everyonepaystaxesthatcontributetoallthesesystems,andthereisverylittleescapefromtaxes.Evenifyouevadeincometaxesattheendoftheyear,youstillpaysalesormealstaxeswhenyoupurchasegoodsandthereforecontribute.WhenyouliveintheFirstCircle,yousimplydon’tquestionthesesystems.Youjustabidebythemandgoonwithyour

life,notquestioningtheimpacttheyhaveordon’thaveonyourlife.Youcertainlydon’tattempttounderstandthem,becauseyoufeelthereisnothingyoucandotochangeit,evenifyoutriedorcomplained.Peopleeithergainorloseconfidenceingovernmentwhenthingslikegasprices,unemployment,orfinanceratesincreasefortheworst.Youbelievethatgovernmentcontrolsthesesystemsandthatvotingisyourpowertofightbackwhenunhappy.ThosewholiveintheSecondCircleontheotherhand,don’treallycareaboutthesystemsinplace,butinsteadchoosetounderstandthedepthofhowtheyworkinordertobenefitthemselves.Thosewhomakemoremoneypayfewertaxesbecausetheyknowhowtonotpaytaxesbyspendingmoremoneywhereitmatters.Theybecomeexpertsinthisfieldorpayotherstodothatforthem.Theirinnerunderstandingofthesystemallowsthemtomanipulateitsinnerworkingsjustenoughsonoonenoticeswhilestillbenefitingthem.

ItwaspeopleintheFirstCirclewhodestroyedthiscountryduringthe2006-2008housingburst.Theirfocusonmakingmoneybytryingtofliphomeswithoutunderstandingthedepthofwhatwasinvolvedmadethemvulnerabletopredatorylending.PeopleintheSecondCirclefiguredoutthetrickstomakingtherealestatesystemworkintheirfavorwhenpurchasingmultiplehomesandflippingthem.Whiletheywereaftermoneyandknewthetrickstothegovernmentprogramsandthefinancialsystem,thoseintheFirstCircledidn’t.Asaresult,thosebuyersweretakenadvantageofbythosesystemsinthesamewaythattheSecondCirclehomebuyershadaccomplished.ItwasthefearofmissingoutonmakingmoneythathurtFirstCircleinvestorswhentheytriedtoduplicatewhatwashappeningintheirenvironment.FirstCircleindividualsdon’tunderstandtheseconcepts;alltheyseearetheoutcomes.Insteadofleveragingthosesystems,FirstCirclepeoplesimplycontributedtothem.TheywereoutsmartedbythosemanipulatorsintheSecondCircle.Ultimately,itwastheFirstCircleindividual’slackofattentionandcarethatcausedtheirowndownfall.Since80percentofthepopulationlivesintheFirstCircle,thatresultedinalotofpeoplefalling.ThosewholiveintheSecondCircleeithergotoutearlyorpositionedthemselvestoleveragethecrash.

ThirdCircleindividuals,ontheotherhand,alsocantakeadvantageofsystemsandconcepts,butdon’tfeelthattheyneedto.Instead,theyseewheretherearemissingpiecesandfindwaystoeithercreateabettersystemorprotectthosewhodon’tunderstandthembyhelpingtoeducateorsimplydesigningprogramstoprotectFirstCircleindividuals.TheabilitytounderstandandseetheentiredesignofthesesystemsiswhatdifferentiatesthoseintheThirdCirclefromthoseintheSecond.WhilepeopleintheSecondCircleseehowconceptsand

systemsbenefitthem,peopleintheThirdCircleseehowconceptsandsystemsoperate,andasaresult,improveorfixthem.

RegardlessofwhichCircleyoulivein,younaturallyareinvolvedinafewsystemsthatsimplyaretoobigtoavoid.TheyarebrokenintoGovernment,CorporateAmerica,andEducation.Atsomepoint,youarenotonlyexposedtothesesystems,butentangledintheirweb.IamgoingtobreakdowneachoftheseandshowyouhowtheyarekeepingyoufrommovingpasttheThirdCircle,butmoreimportantly,whytheyarekeepingyouback.

TheEntrapmentofSociety

Societyasawholeisasystem,asystemthatisoperatedandmaintainedbyindividualswithacommonsetofbeliefsorvalues.Despitebeingonesociety,wearebrokendownintosub-societies(whichwerefertoasgeographicalstates).Basedonourvalues,beliefs,andneeds,wecanchoosewhichappealstousmost.

Societyhasaweirdwayofmaintainingitselfbyallowingyoutocreatethebalanceitneeds.Everyoneisdifferent,dependingonwhereandhowyouarebornand/orresidetoday.Thinkofsocietyasagiantspiderweb,andallthosematrix-likewebconnectorstobecomponentslikeeducationandcorporateAmerica.ThereasonIcomparesocietytoagiantspiderwebisthatthespiderwebdoesitsbesttokeepyougluedinoneplace,ratherthanexploretheworld.Theweblikesitwhenyouplaynicewithinthestickystrands,notoutsideofit.Thisgiantspiderwebiscomplexandasyoumoveforwardinlife,itgetsmoreandmorecomplextosupportitself.Asaresult,youmusteducatepeopleonhowtooperatewithinit.

“Withinit”arethekeywordshere,asthesystemrequireseachofyoutoplayapartinsideit.Someofyouneedtobeconstructionworkers,othersneedtobedoctorsandlawyers—allofyouareconstantlyfeedingandadvancingthesamesystemtogrowlargerandrunbetter,timeandtimeagain.Thesystemoffersmultiplelinesofsupporttoensurethatyouraspirationsandobservationsleadtoyourcontributiontosociety.Thenthesystemprovidessupporttoensureyougetthere.Ifyouchoosetotakearoadthathasyettobepaved,youaretherealone,butcanberewardedsignificantlybecauseyourwork(ifyousucceed)willpavetheroadforotherstonowweaveintothespiderwebknownassociety.Itallstartsfromyourearlieryearsinschool…

TheRoleofEducation

EducationplaysanimportantroleinmakingsureyoustayintheFirstorSecond

Circle.Mostofwhatweconsiderformal,school-basededucationispreparingustosurviveinaconventionalFirstCircleway;conformingtotheguidelinesofsocietyanddoingitsbesttokeepyouinlinetobecomingacontributingmemberbythetimeyouleavetheclassroomenvironment.Thinkabouthighschool,asanexample.Mostofthecareercounselorsguideyoutowardsajob,notsomuchowningyourownbusinessorbecominganinnovator,butratherjustdoingyourpartinthebiggerpicture.Societyneedsdoctors,lawyers,engineers,technicians,andbusinessmanagerstokeeprunningefficientlyanditistheroleoftheearlyeducationsystemtoputinyourheadthatthoseotherdreamsofowningbusinesses,innovatingtheworld,orthinkingoutsidetheboxarenotnormalsuccessfulroutestotake.Haveyoueverwonderedwhy?Andwhydoesthisbehaviorcontinueintolessaccreditedcollegesandcommunitycolleges?Whydoeseveryonewanttoteachyouaskilltoworkforothers?WhyisitthatonlyIvyLeagueschoolsseemtoputoutinventors,innovators,andgreatbusinessminds?Isittheeducationtheyprovide?

Allofthosearegreatquestionsandtheansweristhatit’snotaboutthecontenttheschoolsproducebutratherthepeopleproducingthecontent.EntrepreneurshipissomethingthatmostIvyLeagueschoolsareveryfamiliarwithbecausewhattheydoishireretiredexecutives,retiredbusinessfigures,andotherinnovatorsandfreethinkerstoteachtheirclassesandcourses,givingtheirstudentstheexposuretheyneedtounderstandthatthereisahighprobabilityofsuccess.Inothercolleges,entrepreneurshipsimplyisn’tcarriedwiththesameweightduetotheratioofthoseteachingthoseskills.It’salmostlikebreakingdownandsayingyoucanhaveamentorwhohasdoneitoramentorwhohasstudiedit,andeventhougheducationisgreat,itcertainlyisnotsubstituteforexperiencenomatterinwhatcontext.

Theroleofeducationistoprepareyouforsocietyandbeingafunctionalpieceofaworkingmachine.Itcertainlyhasverylittletoleranceforthosewhochoosetobuildtheirownmachineanddon’twanttoconformtothesystem’sstandards.Itwasn’tuntilthelasttwoyearsthatschoolsstartedadvertisingentrepreneurshipasamajorbecauseofitsneedtoconformtowhatsocietyisdoing.Thinkabouthowtheperceptionisthatwithadegreeyouareguaranteedagoodsalary,butwithoutityouarenot.Thatmisconceptionhasbeenaroundforsomanygenerationsthatparentsforcecollegeontheirkidswhodon’tevenknowwhytheyhavetogo.Whywouldyouinvestallthismoneyandtimeinapieceofpapersomeonemayneveruse?

ItistheroleofeveryoneoftheseteacherstrappedintheFirstCirclethemselves

toshowyouhowconventionaleducationandemploymentleadstoasuccessfullifeandthatthemoretimeyouspendinschoolgettingadvanceddegrees,themorelikelyyouaretomakealotofmoney.Becausetheirlifeisaboutsurvivalandthemoneytheymake,yourobservationsarewhattheyreinforceoverandoveragain.What’sevenfunnierishowgovernmentsupportsthisconcept.

TheRoleofGovernment

Governmentisanotherwaytoencourageoneactionoveranother,makingitevenmoredifficultforyoutochooseyourownwayout.Thinkaboutthesupportthatgovernmentgivestoconventionaleducationwithstudentloans,grants,andrewards,justforchoosingtogotoschool.Thisinstitutionissimplylookingoutforitselftocontinuefunctioning.Thefasteryougotowork,thefasteryoupaytaxesandthefasteryoucontributelabortosociety.Moreimportantly,itentrapsyoubyloadingyoudownwithdebtfromaveryyoungage,whichmakesyoudependentonworkinordertoavoidfinancialruinearlyon.Thisisoneofthemanywaysthegovernmentpushesyoutowardsbelongingtothesystem.It’sonlywhenthereisaflawinitssystem—likejobscarcity—thatgovernmentactsasthoughitishelpingotherscreatemoremachinestohelpthemassesfunction.

Outsideofitsinteractionwitheducation,governmentalsogoesoutofitswaytokeeppeoplespendingandborrowingmore,meaningthatitleveragesman’sgreatestemotionalasset—money—tokeepyouinyourplace.Debtisthegovernment’sweapontomakesureyouconstantlyliveinfearoflosingyourjobandsoitleveragesaccesstomoneytokeepfeedingitselfbutmakingyoubelieveit’shelpingyou.Thegovernmentitselfisonegiantbusiness,andyouareitsmostvaluableasset;therefore,themoreyouthinkaboutsteppingoutofitscycleorunderstandinghowitworkssoyoudon’thavetobesuchagreatcustomerofit,themoreitleveragesmediatomakeyoufeellikeanoutcast.

Asmuchaswecanhopeforasocietywheretheprivatesectorcontrolsandgovernsalltypesoftrade,andregulation,thatwillneverhappen—partlybecausepeoplearetooself-centeredandgreedconsumespeople.OnlytwopercentlivepasttheThirdCircle;theother98percentareouttogetwhattheydeemtobetheirrightfulshare.Thatgreedissopowerfulthatitcanbreakupfamiliesandbusinesses,andevenleadtocrime.Thislackofseparationfromtheemotionalneedofalwayshavingmoremoneycreatesthisconstantbattletokeeppeoplefightingforthemselves.Itisn’tuntilagreatercommonenemycomesalongandscaresusevenmorethannothavingmoneythatweunite.

Ashumanbeings,weareconstantlyfullofemotionsandoftenallowouremotionstodictateourcharacter.Wefeelacertainwayaboutpeople,certainraces,backgroundsandwaysoflife,butmoreimportantlyweallowhowwefeeltodictatehowweact.Itisarealityweunfortunatelyface,arealitywherewejudgeeveryonearoundusbywheretheyareborn,whomtheybelievein,andwhatcolortheirskinis.Buthowmuchofourbeliefsareactuallyourownandhowmuchcomefromwherewearebornandthecolorofourskin?Wouldyouhatesomeonewhowasborninadifferenthospitalthanyours,butyetwasdownthestreet?Wouldyoudowrongtosomeoneatworkmakingmorethanyouby50cents?

Youprobablyanswerednotobothofthosequestions,butdespitesayingno,wehavesuchastrongfeelingofdiscomfortwiththosewhoarenotlikeus,andthemainreasonwedoisbecauseasemotionalhumanbeings,weallowouremotionstodecidehowweactratherthanourlogic,whichshouldbeunderstoodastowhypeopleareastheyare.Wedon’thateorhaveemotionstowardsthosedownthestreetinadifferenthospital,orthoseatworkmakingmorethanusbecauseweunderstandwhyandwhotheyare.However,ontheotherhand,wedon’tunderstandthoseotherpeopleindifferentcountries.Wedon’tunderstandthepoorpeoplewholiveinthirdworldcountries,andwedon’tunderstandthemiseryofcontrolofpeoplelivingunderdictatorships.

Ourlackofunderstandingandcareforunderstandingiswhatmakesusdividedandincapableofcreatingtrueimpactfulchangeintheworld.Wedon’tcareforthatchangebecausewebelievewearehappy,eventhoughinmostcases,weactuallyarenot,butwesimplyaregratefultobewhoweareandhavewhatwehave.Wechoosetolooktheotherwayratherthangettoknowandunderstandthosewhomightonedayneedourhelp,andsoinhappiness,weremaindivided.Adivisionthatgrowsdeeperastheworldcontinues;adivisionofpeople,race,religion,andmore…

Thereis,however,acommonfeelingthatbringsustogethereverytime,afeelingthatiscommonfor100percentoftheplaneteventhoughsomecontrolitbetterthanothers.Thisfeelingistheemotionknownasfear.

Feariswhatkeepspeoplefrombeinggreat.Itistheemotionthatkeepsthosewantingtoachievefromtrying,andthosewantingtolovefromlikingbutitisnonethelessacommonemotionthateveryoneonearthhasfeltorfeelsatsomepointoranother.Thinkabouteverybadeventthathasoccurredaroundyou,fromattacksonourwayoflife,toleaderscreatingpoliciesthatdestroythiscountry,andevenaccidentsandactsofviolencearoundus.Itisfearthatmakes

everyonecometogethertocreatechange.Itisfearthatmakeseveryonecomeoutsidetheirhomestogatheraroundashooting.Itisfearthatmakespeoplewhousuallydon’tvote,caretovote,anditisfearthatmakespeoplewanttoknowotherstheypreviouslydidn’tcarefor.Itisonlyfear,thatcommonemotionthatallowsustoactinastatewherethecommoninterestisthebestoption.

Butwhydoesithavetobethisway?Ichallengeeveryonereadingthistodaytogooutjustonedaythisweekanddosomethingniceforsomeoneyoudon’tknow,expectingnothinginreturn,andIchallengeyoutotrytogettoknowthepersonyoudidsomethingforandunderstandwhatmakesthemamazingintheirownway.Somewillactuallynotletyoudoanythingforthem;otherswillrejectyounotevenknowingyouandaskwhyyouarebeinggeneroustothem.Ifyoucanmakethatchangeinoneperson’slifethisweekandifyoucanunderstandsomeoneelsethatyouwouldhavenevergottentoknowotherwise,thenyouhavehelpedhumanitytakeonestepforward,onenotdrivenbyfear.

Forthatguywhofeelslikesaying,“Whatisoneactofgenerositygoingtodotochangetheworld?”Iwanttorememberthateverymajoreventinthisworldhadtostartsmallatsomepointbyoneperson,oneidea,andoneaction.ThatpersoncanandshouldbeYOU.

Theprivatesectoralsohasitsownmeansofcontrolandworksverywellwithgovernmentonceitreachesacertainsize.Mostlargebusinessesworksidebysidewithgovernmenttonotonlypersonallybenefit,butalsobecausethegovernmentisnowobligatedtorelyontheircommerce,eitherbecauseofitsdirectinvolvementwithgovernmentaffairs—likedefensecontracting,banking,andautomotivemanufacturing—orbecausetheamountofmoneytheygenerateimpactsthegovernmentsignificantlyinitsownrevenueandemploymentnumbers.Buthowdoesitallworktogether?

TheRoleofCorporateAmerica

Whenyouworkforacompany,itisinthatcompany’sbestinteresttokeepyouthere,ensuringthattheslightestideayoumayhaveofgoingoutoftheboxandseekingemploymentelsewhereorpursuingyourdreamsisreinforcedbytheirtalkofuncertainty.Workingforothersfromanearlyageisgreatbecausethereisquitealottolearn,butitalsoisoneofthemainreasonspeopledon’tfollowtheirdreams.Youbecomecomfortableandsecure.It’sjusteasy.Nomatterthenatureofyourwork,practicemakesperfectandyourabilitiessimplybecomebetterwithtimeandthatisexactlywhatacompanywishestohappen,foryoutobecomeanexpertinyourfieldsothatyoubecomedisconnectedwithwhat’s

goingonandbecomeevenmorecomfortablewithstayingwhereyouare.TheemotionalrolethatCorporateAmericaplaysissimplytogetyoucomfortableandsecurewithnotonlyanincomelargerthanoneyou’llmakethefirstthreeyearsofworkingforyourself,butalsothesecurityofknowingyoucancountonaregularpaycheckand,asaresult,takeondebt.Thisthencreatesthisdominoeffectofobligationspreventingyourfromtakingrisk.Thinkaboutwhymostpeoplesay,“You’vegottodoitwhileyouareyoung.”Thatisbecauseobligations—likeyourspouse,kids,debt,andtheinabilitytotakerisk—allbecomefirmerwithtimeandmakeitharderforyoutohavetheenergytofightalltheforcesupagainstyouatanolderage,ratherthanwhenyouhaveneverexperiencedany.

Theeducationsystem,governmentandcorporateAmericaarebynomeansevil,nordotheyneedtoberemovedorchanged.CertainlythePresidentisnotgoingtobetheonemakingeverychangetomakeeverythingbetter.Itisyouwhocanmakethechangesneeded.Youcanmakesureyoudon’toverspendandbecomepartofthisnever-endingtrapthatthatnineoutoftenpeoplefallinto.You,asindividuals,canmakesureyouunderstandyourownvalueandthateducationdoesnothavetobelimitedtotheconfinesofaclassroom,butcomesfromyourobservationsofthoseyouwishtobelikeandthosewhooffertomentorandhelpyou.YouevenhaveaveryeasywaytobreakfromthisfalsesecuritythatcorporateAmericagivesyou.Youhavetheabilitytobreakyourcomfortzoneeveryfewyears,justsoyoucancontinuetoreachnewheightsandbeexposedtonewenvironments,andhereishowyoucandothatifyouwanttoreachself-actualization.

BreakYourComfortZonebyCreatingChange

YoumightbesayingthatallofthistalkofCirclesisgreat,buthowcanyoureallycontrolyourjourneyifallinformationisnotalwaystrue?Thatisaveryvalidquestionandcertainlyworthtakingthetimetodiscuss.

HaveyoueverwonderedwhyimmigrantsworkharderthanAmericansinAmerica?Theirunderstandingofandappreciationforopportunityandhardworkisastrongmotivator.Wheredidthisappreciationcomefrom?Theappreciationcamefromnothavingthatsameresourceathome,andthereforeunderstandingthatwhenpresentedwithit,itmustbecherishedandtakenadvantageof.

Hereisalookathowevolutionisbasedontheperspectiveofobservationaswellastheobservationitself.Haveyoueverlookedatthesameitemattwo

differenttimesinyourlifeandfeltentirelydifferentaboutit?Toysareagreatexampleofthat.Whenyouwereachild,youwantedmoretoysbecauseyourobservationswerehighlyfocusedontoys.Asyougrewolderandrealizedthevalueofcertaintoysandtheirshelflives,youlookedatthemwithlessdesireandperhapsnolongerevencaredtoownthem.Thatissimplybecauseyourpersonalitychangesandyourprioritieschangealongwithit.Youlookatcertainthingsindifferentways.Despitethefactthatyoumightstillappreciateabutterfly,itscolorsandflyingpatternsmeantmorethefirstfewtimesthantheydotoday.Yourlackofobservationsgavemorevaluetoeachandeverythingyouobserved.Thisiswhychildrenobservefasterthanadults,becausetheyhaveseenverylittleand,therefore,anylittlethingcanleavealastingimpression.Thoseimpressionsoftenfadewithtimebecausemoreandmoreinformationisprocessed.Astimesgoesby,certaininformationlosesitsvalueaspastobservationsweremadeandthebeliefsofthepersonchanged.

Theseobservationslosetheirvaluethesamewayinreallife.Themorecomfortableyouarewithwhatyousee,thelessalertandinterestingitbecomes.ThinkaboutFrenchpeopleandtheEiffeltower.Theycertainlyaren’tasexcitedaboutvisitingthesiteastouristswouldbe,buttheyarethrilledtogototheEmpireStateBuilding.Yourcuriositycomesfromyourobservations,followedbyyourdesiretounderstandwhatyousee.Themoreyouseesomething,thelesscuriousyouare,andthelessinterestedyouareinseeingit.

Asachild,youdonotholdtheoptiontochoosewhatyouseeorhowyouseeit,becauseyoudon’tunderstandhowtointerpretanythingyousee.Asyougetolder,yourobservationsaremuchmoreimpactedbyyourbeliefthanbyyoureyes.Youseenotonlywhatyoubelieve,butalsowhatyouunderstand,andnoteverything.Alotcanbesaidofthosesameimmigrantsabovewhocamehereforopportunityastheyhaveseenalotofthelackofopportunityearlyoninlifeandappreciatethechanceofsuccesspresentedtothemlateron.EmploymentinothercountriesisnotasaccessibleandeasyasintheUnitedStates.Evenwitha10percentunemploymentrate,theUSstillhasopportunitiesforeveryone,whileothercountriesfailsignificantlyhere.Thisobservationofallthesedifficultiesallowsimmigrantstoappreciatetheeaseofgettingwhattheycouldn’tacquirebefore.AsachildgrowingupinFrance,Iwitnessedmymombecomeanentrepreneurpartlybecauseshehadto,butpartlybecausealternativeworkwasn’tavailableandsoItookaveryquicklikingtoworking,asIsawhowimpossibleitwasformymom,whichmademefeeltheimmediateneedtogetajobat14.SeeinghowpeoplelivedinFranceandhowscarcemoneymakingopportunitieswere,Iembracedthepowerofhavingaccesstoworkandtheease

ofbeingentrepreneurialhere.IalsowitnessedfearofunbalancedgovernmentthroughmymotherbackintheMiddleEastand,therefore,appreciatedthefreedomandrightsthatcamewithlivingintheUnitedStates.Asaresult,Iinvestigatedandexercisedmyrightswhenwemovedhere,butnevertakingthemforgranted.Myearlierobservationswereforcedonme,anddidn’tgivemetheluxurytointerprettheminanywaybutone—throughthelensofmymom’sbeliefs.AsyougrowolderandchoosewhatyouseelikeIdid,youtendtomissalotbecauseyouarenaturallyegocentricandonlyobserveitemsthatarerelevanttoyou.Ifyoulikefashion,thenyounoticewhatpeoplewearinothercountries.Youdon’tforexampleinvestigatepeople’sretirementfundsandhowtheydiffer.Youfocusyourtimeonthingsthatinterestyouwhichiswhythebesttimetomakeyourchildrenseeothercountriesiswhentheyareyoungandcanabsorballinformation,notjustonesetortypebasedonyourbeliefsorveryownobservations.

Ifeverychildvisitedtwodifferentcountriesbetweentheagesof9and12,theywouldcertainlybemorecultured,understanding,andcapable.Atthatage,theystillabsorbeverythingandunderstandthecontextofsociety.

Asyougetolder,however,theworldaroundyouchanges.Thingslikeyourjobandfamilykeepyouplantedinonedestination,whichsignificantlyimpactsyourenvironmentandgrowth.Aswediscussedearlier,yourobservationsbecomedullandyoumissmostofwhat’saroundbecauseoftheroutinesyouexerciseandpassiveviewingyouhold.Thisbringsoncomfortandplaysabigroleinkeepingyoucomplacentasitcomesfromtheroutineofobservation.Themoreyouobservethesamething,thelessitinterestsyouandpushesyoutolearnmore,andasaresult,failingtoactinyourenvironmentkicksin.Sincethereisnoneedtotakeactioninyourenvironment,yousimplydon’tcare.

Thesamesituationherecanbeappliedtoyourrelationshipwithalovedone.Thehoneymoonstageinarelationshipoccursbecausethingsarenewandeverythingisinteresting,butasyougrowtiredofthesamevisual,situations,orproblems,younolongerpayattentionortrytoimpresstheperson.Youdriftintoaroutine.Thisbecomesveryapparentwhenkidsareintroducedtothepicture,astheyfacilitatethatroutineandactuallymakeithardertobreakoutofit.Routinesformwithoutkidsaswell.Thosecoupleswhoacceptthemostchangeintheirrelationshiptendtolastlonger.Fromemploymentchangetoconstanttraveltogether,thechangeinsceneryandenvironmentbreakstheroutineandallowsfreshness,evenifnotdirectlycorrelatedtothecouple.LazinessandroutinecankeepyoufromchangingCirclesandneverhelpyoureallydiscoverwhatyour

lifecouldbe.Instead,youalwayswonder.Thisiswheremostpeopleexperienceamidlifecrisis.Thatsameroutineappliestowhereyoulive.Themorecomfortableandthelessinterestingitis,themoreroutineyourbehaviorinthatcityortown.

Lazinessandcomfortarecommonissuesthatimpactalargenumberofpeople,butthereisacureforthosethatcanharnesstheirfearenoughtocreatethechangetheyseek.Thischangeoccursbytakingachanceinchangingyourenvironment,whichisnecessaryifyouwishtobreakyourroutine.

HereisamethodIusetobreakoutofmyownplateauorroutines.Everyfourtofiveyears,Icreateanunneededchangetoforcemyselftobeuncomfortable—changemystate,job,country,orhome,whateverittakestochangemyperspectiveandgetoutofmycomfortzone.Thisshiftthenmakesmealerttonewobservations.I’mforcedtomakechangestomylifeinordertoaccommodatethisnewenvironment.Giveitatry!Youultimatelyhelpyourselfandthosearoundyoutoseemorethantheymayeverhaveseen,andremaininthatso-calledhoneymoonstage,butratherwithlifeitself.Whenyougrowolderandthischangeisself-createdratherthanforced,bestrategicaboutwhatyouarelookingattoobserveandcreatethespecificchangeyouseek.

Thinkaboutthefishinthepond.Youstartasasmallfishinyourpond.Eventually,yougrowandbecomethelargerfishinthepondbybecomingfamiliarwiththepondandeverythinginit.Youcanchoosetoremainthatfishandliveinthatsmallpond—dominatingsmallfishes—oryoucanacceptthatifyouweretomovetoalargerpond,youwouldn’tbeconsideredlargeanymore.Youbecomethesmallerfishoncemore.Thiswouldforceyoutolearnmoretosurviveinthislargerpond.Thesizeofthefish(you)neveronlygetsbiggerwithtime;however,youputyourselfinasituationthatforcesyoutogrowmore.Thinkaboutthesamefishaftertravellingthroughfourdifferentlargeponds.Itwouldnolongerfitintothatfirstpondanymore,evenifatthebeginningthatfishfeltlarge.

IwasasmallfishwhenIstartedworkinginWashington,DC,butquicklygrewtobecomethelargerfish,oneofthefewdrivingexoticcarsatayoungage,andlivingwellenoughtoberecognizedasabigfishbyothers.OnceIwasacknowledgedassuch,italmostbecameroutinetobeappreciated,sothatacknowledgementlostitsvaluebecausepeoplevaluedonlymypossessions.Asaresultofbeingabigfish,Iquestionedifperhapsmypondwaslargeenoughformetokeepgrowing.

Sinceitwasn’t,IpositionedmyselftogoandliveinBocaRaton,FL,partlybecauseIknewitwasoneofthelargestconcentrationsofwealthintheworld.Ichangedmypondtooneofthelargestoutthere,whichimmediatelyreducedmetoaverysmallfishoncemore.PeopleinBocaRatonhadwealthbeyondwhatthosepeopleinDCcouldcomprehend,andtheylivedinaverydifferentfashionaswell.Iwentfromaworkingcitytoawealth-based,retirementcity.Thatchangednotonlymypond,butalsothedynamicsofhowthatpondworked.Thisentirelybrokemyroutineandmycomfortzone,butallowedmetogrowsignificantlymore.MyobservationsweresosignificantlydifferentfromonecitytoanotherthatIcanhonestlysaythatgoingtobacktoDCalmostmakesmefeelinvincible,becauseInowrealizehowsmallIwasthere—makingmeabletonowbemorehumblebecausemyvaluehasbeendefineddifferentlynowthatIseewhatpossibilitiesareoutthere.Thischangeinperspectiveisanimmenselessonforme.

Thesetypesofchangesarenoteasy,butcertainlyverynecessaryifyouwishtoactuallymovetoastateofcontroloveryouremotions.Rememberthatwearenotjudgedbywhoweare,butratherouractionsthroughtimeandtheirimpactonothers.Puttingyourselfatstakeonlyallowsyoutomakefeartheroutine,whichisfinesinceyouwantfeartobecomepartofyourlifesoyoucancontrolitmucheasierthanmostbecauseyou’veexperienceditbefore.Putyourselfatstakeuntilyounolongerfeelyouare,eventhoughyourroutinescontinue.Inthisway,youcreatearepetitionthatallowsyoutorelysolelyonyourselfandyourability,andeventuallyyouventureplacesothersfeartovisit.Thebetteryouget,themoreyoubecomeawareofyourenvironmentratherthanremainlostinyourfearsofsurvival.

LivingfortheExperienceofLifeItself

Whenyoulearntofosterandharnessyouremotions,youseealloflife’sdesignsasordinaryasothersseetheirhome.ItisimperativethatonceyoureachtheThirdCircleitself,youunderstandyourvalueinlifeandcomprehendthatlifehasagranddesignandthereisalotofbeautyinthingsthatmayseemordinarytootherpeople.Thefinancesystem,asanexample,islookedatasevilbecauseitexiststotakepeople’smoneyiflookedatfromtheFirstCircleviewpoint.ThoseintheThirdCirclehoweverseethatthiswasatonepointnothingmorethansomeoneelse’svision.Itnowpowershowwelive.Itultimatelyisnodifferentthantheinnovationofthelightbulb,andwhileitmaybetruethatplentyofpeopleintheSecondCirclelearnedhowtomakethesystemworkforthemselves,youcanappreciatethismajorcreationforwhatitis.Youunderstand

howitcanbetweakedtobenefiteveryoneratherthanfundoneperson’shomewithpossessions.

Regardlessofwhatsystemsyouimpactandwhatamazingsystemsyoudiscoverinlife,itallstartswithyourobservations,whicharenowverydifferentthanbefore.Theseobservationsarealmostanadmirationforthewaythingsfunctionandprosper,ratherthanlookingjustattheoutcomespeoplefocuson.Yourabilitytocontinueyourobservationfromthisverynewlensispartoftheprocessinfindingwhereyoufitintotheequation.Youcanhelpcreateinnovationwithoutunderstandingwhatexistsallaroundyouandhowitcurrentlyworks.

Yourobservationsnowmeanmorethaneverbeforeastheyareunderstoodbybothyoureyesandyourbrain.Myonlyadvicetoyouistoensurethatyoucontinuetoexplorelifebyconstantlyexposingyourselftonewelementsandalsomakingsureyoutakeasecondtoenjoyallthevisualsthattheworldhastooffer,especiallywhenappreciatedfortheirdesignandnotsomuchtheirbeauty.

ThecontinuedexperienceoflifeitselfisanotheradvantageoflivingintheThirdCircleasyounowstartexperiencingwhatlivingreallyis.Younolongerworryaboutjustyourexistence.Youunderstandthatdefiningyourexistenceoccursthroughtheactionyoutakelivinglifetothefullestandimpactingotherspositively.Youunderstandthatsimplygoingtoworkeachandeverydayanddoingthesamethingwithoutunderstandingwhyisnolongeranoption.

IftherearetwothingsyoushouldtakeawayfromtheThirdCircleTheory,itisthattheworlddoesn’trevolvearoundyouandthatactionsnotthoughts,definewhoweare.Thereshouldneverbeatimewhenyouallowother’sactionstopreventyoufromactingonyourownandcertainlynotimewhenyoushouldallowcircumstancesoutsideofyourcontroltostopyouractions.Therecanbenovictoryandnochangewithoutaction.Livinglifetothefullestisabouthavingcontroloveryouroutcomesandunderstandingthatnothingcanstopyoufromenjoyingeverythingaroundyoubutyou.

TheBirthofPurpose

Theselfhelpindustryasawholedoesn’tworkand,aswediscussedearlier,thesamereasonsapplytotheworkoutvideos.Theproblemisnotthattheinformationisinaccurateorrepetitive,butratherwhattheywantyoutochangearebehaviorsinyourlifeinordertogettothatgoalwhichisoftendefinedas“gettingrich”.Thatgoalisnotimportant,asit’ssubjectivetoperspective.Yourbehaviorsarenotalignedwithyourgoals,butthereasonyouhaven’tmadeenoughmoneyisalsobecauseofhowyouthinkaboutwhatyoudo.Thehabitsyouneedtohaveestablishedinordertobeabletobesuccessfularenotthereeither.

Theonlyissueathandhereisthateverythingyoudoisbasedupononefactoronly—self-gain.Nomatterhowgoodtheselfhelpprogramortheinformation,theirunderlyingideaistocreatesomethingthatultimatelybenefitsthemmorethanyou.Iftheirprogramdoesbenefityou,that’sgreat.Butifitdoesn’t,thentheydon’tcare.Thereasonwhytheselfhelpindustryhasabadreputationisbecauseitis,inmostcases,abouttheirowngaineventhoughtheirsalesmessageisabouthelpingyou.Itsimplycomesacrossasfraudoncethesuccessrateoftheproductisnotfavorableforthemasses.“RichDad,PoorDad”wasaphenomenalbookandfullofgoodideas,buttheprogramsofferedbeyondthebookweremeanttogenerateincomeratherthanhelppeople.Theseminarsbecamemoreexpensiveandtaughtbypeoplewithoutmerit.Slowly,peoplecaughtonandasaresultwalkedawayfromtheweakopportunityitwaspresenting.

Thosewhosucceedoftendon’twanttoshareinformation,becausetheydon’tneedmoremoney,sosharinginformation,writingabook,orhelpingothersisn’ttheirprimaryconcern.Thisdoesn’tdescribeeveryone,butalargesegment.

Thenthereistheprivacyissue.Despitetryingtohelpothers,theself-helpersoftenfeelasthoughputtingthemselvesouttheredoesn’tresultinanythingforthem,butexposestheirpersonalbusinessthatmighthurtthematsomepoint,whichissomewhattrue.Therearealsothosepeoplewhoneverreallymadeanymoneyandyethavespenttheirlifetellingothersfakestoriesthatcouldjeopardizetheirintegrityifmadepublic.Therearesomanyobstacleskeepingthosewithtruestoriesfromsharingthatitalmostmakesitmoredifficulttogetagoodmessageoutthereunlesssomanylayersbenefitbeforetheenduser

actuallycan.

Thinkaboutthis:Notwopathsarealike,andnoexistingpathholdsthesamerewardforthefollowerasitdoesfortheinnovatorandbuilder.Thathope,nonetheless,iswhatkeepspeoplefollowingothers;thehopethattherewardwillbeworthwhilewithlittleeffortiswhatpreventspeoplefromevergraduatingtheFirstCircleandmakesotherstakeadvantageofthatweaknessformoney.

IfyouholdeverythingtruethatyoudiscoveredduringyourjourneytotheThirdCircle,thenyouknowthatinformationisneutral;yourfeelingstowardtheinformationdoesn’tmatterbutrathertheinformationitselfdoes.Intheefforttogrow,youmustexposeyourselftoobservationsinordertotriggeryourdesiretoseekmoreinformation.Certainly,whenthepathtodefiningyourselfisn’tobvious,itisnotbecauseitdoesn’texist,butratherthatyouhavenotyetseenittocreatetheinformationyouneedaboutit.Forexample,justbecausearoadisonlytwolaneswidedoesn’tmeanthatthreelanescannotexist—simplythatnoonehasbuiltathirdlaneyet.Youhavethesameopportunitytoenvisionandbuildtheroadthatotherscannotsee.Youwillthenenjoytherewardsattheendbeforeanyoneelsecantraveldownthesamepath.Itisimperativethatyoucreatearoadthatotherscanalsodiscoverandtravelthroughbecausethisishowwegrowasasociety.Ifyouareconstantlyseekingotherpathstofollow,thenyouarecreatingincome,notinnovation.

Thinkaboutyourlifetodayasitstands,andthinkaboutalltheexperiences,observations,andaccomplishmentsthathavemadeyouwhoyouare.Thinkabouthowmanypeopleyou’vebeenabletotouch,inspire,andhelpinyourlifetime,nomatterhowlongyou’vebeenhere.Thinkabouttheunpredictableworldweliveinandhowquicklythingscanendforanyone.Nowaskyourselfthis:

“IfIdiedtomorrow,whatwouldpeopleremembermefor?Andwhooutsideofmyimmediatefamilyandfriendswouldtellmystoriestoothers?”

Takeasecondtoreflectonthat.Askyourselfifthemoneyyouconstantlychase,thechoicesyoumakestrictlybecauseofmoney,andthedestinationyouchooseeachdayyouwaketrulyareareflectionofhowandwhatyouwantpeopletorememberyou.Ifso,thencontinueon.Butifyoudecidethatperhapsyouhavenotbeenworkingtowardstherightgoalsorevenwithouttherighteyesight,thenthetimetorevisitandchangedirectionsisnow.Nottomorrow,nextweek,ornextyear,buttoday.Askyourselfifyouwouldratherwaitaroundtenyearsonlytofindoutwhatyoucouldhaveaccomplished.Orwouldyouratherlookbackin

tenyearsandrememberthegreatexperiencesandamazingpeopleyoumetalongyourjourneywhilebuildingyourlegacy?

Someoneoncesaid,“Therearesomewholive,whileothersjustexist.”Thosewhodon’tlivelifefortheexperiencebutexistonlyfortheoutcomesaremissingout.Theyhavetheopportunitytochangetheiroutcomeandtheirexperiencethroughthechoicesandactionstheytakeeachandeverysecondtheyexist.

Whatsocietyreallyneedstoaffecttruechangeisavoice,anunalteredrealandunbiasedvoicethatcanonlyspeaktruth—evenifuncomfortableattimes.Avoicethattakesnocreditforcreatingchange,buttakesanyshapeitneedstomanifestthechangeandalsobringahigherleveloftrustamongsteachother.Avoicethatknowsfearandwhentocontrolit,sothatitcanstillbeheard.Thisvoiceisyourvoice,andunfortunatelyitwillhavenomerituntilyoubelieveitdoes.Yourvoiceisthemostimportantfactortocreatingthechangeyouseekandhelpinginyourquesttobringbackthetruemeaningofentrepreneurship.Allofyouhavetheskillsetandtalentwithinyou.Allyouneedistobelievethatthisgiftexistsanditbecomespossibletotravelwhereothershavenot.

TheBirthofanIdea

Entrepreneurshipisaboutvision,creation,andinnovation.It’sawayoflifeandawayofliving.Inthepastdecade,entrepreneurshiphaslostitstruemeaningandprestige.Instead,ithasbeenlookedatasasynonymforbeing“self-employed”.Therewasatimewhenentrepreneurswereadmiredfortheirguts,courage,andinnovativethinkingforundertakingsomeoflife’sbiggestchallengesandsolvingthemforthebenefitofthosearoundthem.Thisselflessnessthatmadeentrepreneurswhotheyareandgavethemtheiridentityintheworldhasdevolvedintonothingmorethanaratraceofcompetitorstryingtoprovewhohasorcanmakethemostmoney.Theworldofentrepreneurshiphasbeeninvadedbyfalseopportunities.Trueentrepreneursarenotdefinedbyhowmuchmoneythey’vemadebutbytheinnovationstheycreateandtheimpacttheymakeonothersaroundthem.Thosewhotellyoutheyareentrepreneurswhentheyhavelearnedtomasteraskillthatenablesthemtomakemoneyarefoolingthemselves.Atrueentrepreneurseestheworldforwhatitcanbe,notwhatitis.Eventhoughthereisasignificantrewardfortheireffortswhentheyseeatasktotheend,atrueentrepreneur’sdriveandpassionneverrevolvearoundthereward,butthejourneyitself,andthebirthofinnovation.

Havingcreatedinnovationorsimplyattemptingtodosodoesmakesomeoneanentrepreneur,eveniftherehasbeennorewardinamonetarysense.Thereare

entrepreneurswhoaremoreskilledthanothersandsomewhoaremoreexperiencedthanothers,butthatcertainlydoesn’tdefinetheimportanceofone’sself.Thosewhoaremoreskilledhavegrownboththeirskillsetandmindsettoriseuptothechallengetocreateinnovation.Theygivebirthtoanideaandalongthewayhavelearnedtodealwithfailure,whichmeanstheyunderstandwhatdoesn’twork,allowingthemtogetclosertoasolution.Thoseentrepreneursunderstandthatthethrillofbringinganideatolifeisaboutovercomingfailuresandbeingabletomovepastyouremotionsintoastateofselflessness.Thereasonentrepreneurshiphasbecomemisrepresentedandisnowasynonymforself-employmentisbecausecorporateAmericaandmajororganizationsacrosseveryindustryhavefoundawaytorobentrepreneursoftheirideaswithmoney—moneythatalthoughnecessary,haschangedthemeaningofentrepreneurshipforever.Peoplenowcreatecompaniesonlytosellthemtoothers,ratherthantohelpthosearoundthem.Theynowtakethetimetocreatebusinessestoteachothershowtomakemoneyinordertomakemoneythemselves,knowingthatfewpeoplewilleversucceed.ThetruemeaningofentrepreneurshiphassignificantlylostitsmeaningfromtheThomasEdisonandWaltDisneydaystothepresent,butitdoesn’thavetocontinueonthisdownwardspiralandwecanchangethat.

Wecanlearntoputourdifferencesaside,ourpastobservationsandbeliefsbehind,andinsteadfindawaytoreconnecttrueentrepreneurstogethersothatrealinnovationandchangecantakeplaceallaroundus.Moreimportantly,weasentrepreneurscanshowthosearoundusthetruemeaningofselflessness.Toliveforthegreatergoodofhumanityratherthanourownpersonalsatisfactionmayseemlikealottoask,butitcanhaveasignificantimpactontheworld.

SecretEntourageismorethanawebsite,abook,oradoseofmotivation.Itisanattempttobringbackwhatentrepreneurshiponcewasandtoenablethosewhotrulyunderstand,embrace,andlivethelifeofanentrepreneurtohaveaplacetocometogetherandholdeachotheraccountable.Atthesametime,wegrowourowntalentsbylearningandobservingfromoneanother,andbeinginapositiontohelponeanothercreatethemuch-neededchangeoursocietyneeds.Iflikemeyoubelievethattherehastobemoretothislifethanjusthowmuchmoneyyoucanmake,andifyoubelievethatwewerenotcreatedtospendourwholelivespursuingapieceofpaper,andthatouractionstowardsoneanotherdefinethepersonwebecomeandaretoday,thenjoinmeinthisquesttogivebackandhelpothersseewhatwesee.Peopledeservetoknowthattheirlifedoesn’thavetobeordinaryandthattheircircumstancedoesnothavetodictatetheiroutcome.Theymustunderstandthatevenifothersdonotfeelthesame,anactofgenerositycan

goalongway.

SecretEntourageisnotabouthidingyouridentitywhenhelpingothers,butunderstandingthatanyonewhobelievesintrueentrepreneurshipcanhaveavoice,regardlessoftheirage,socialstatus,ortheamountofmoneytheyhavemade.Anyonecanhaveagreatideaandbeadriverforchangeoraleaderratherthanafollower.Anyonewiththedesiretosucceedshouldhavethehelpandsupportofthosearoundthem,sothattheyinreturncanonedayhelpothersdothesame.

Myvisionofwhattheworldshouldbe,isthereasonIbelieveSecretEntourageisneededandwhyIspendallmyenergy,resources,andtimemakingsurethatthisventurecansucceedandbecometheplatformthatentrepreneursneedtopushaheadpasttheobstaclesthatourcircumstancesandpastchoiceshaveledusto.Mygreatestskillsethasalwaysbeentohelppeople—notbyshowingthemwhattodo,butknowingthembetterthanthemselvesandenablingthemtounderstandwhotheyareandwhotheywishtobeandthenofferingthemthetoolsandsupporttoallowthemthechangetheyseek.Overthepasttenyears,Ihavehelpedcountlesspeoplerealizethattheirpresentsituationdoesn’thavetodictatetheirfutureoutcome,andthateverychoicetheymakecanchangewhathappenstomorrow.Manyhavesucceeded,butotherssimplygaveupandenjoyedtheirwayofbeingeveniftheychosetoremainaby-productoftheirenvironmentandfocusonthemselves.However,IcantellyouthateveryoneofthosepeoplewhoIhelpeddidfindinthemselvestheanswerstowhattheirpurposewasandcertainlymadesurethattheirimpactonsocietyandthosearoundthemwasaspowerfulastheimpactIhadonthem.

Frommyearliestagetopresentday,Ihaveobservedawomangiveherentirelife,devotion,andeverythingshehadforthewell-beingofherchild,despitealloddsandobstaclesinherway.Shealwayschosetheharderwayforherselfifitwouldmakeherson’slifeeasier.Shehastravelledcontinentswithoutmoney,sacrificedherhealthandcomfortsothatthischildcouldbecomfortable.Isometimesquestionwhatforceorenergyallowssuchselflessactsandwhatgoesoninthemindsofthosecapableofsuchacts.Ithenunderstoodthatsuchselflessnesscannotberepaidbyanyamountofmoneyoranyamountofsuccess.Itcanonlybepaidforwardbytouchingthelivesofmanyothersinthesamesense.

ManywillcallmeinsaneforthinkingIcanbringthischangetotheworldandgetpeopletobecomemoreawareofotherpeopleratherthanalwaysfocusingonthemselves.Iamnotexpectingmyeffortstochangehumanityoralterthecourse

ofhistory.Onemancannotchangetheworld,buthecertainlycanigniteasparkinothersthatwilleventuallycreatethechangehewishestosee.IfIgaveuponhelpingothersbecauseofthosewhoseenovalueinwhatIdo,orthosewhosimplyhavenotrustinothersandfeeltheremustbeanotherreasonIchoosetohelpthem,thenIcertainlywouldn’tbetruetomyveryownbeliefsandwouldn’tbelivingintheThirdCircle.ItismyabilitytobelieveinthispossibilitymorethanIbelieveinmyownexistencethatallowsmetocontinuedrivingchangeinpeoplewiththesameenergyandpassionIhadwhenIstarted.

Ifyouwakeupfeelinglikeyouareworthmorethanwhatyoudotoday,thentakethetimetounderstandwhereyouarelackinginyourowngrowth.BehonestwithyourselfandfindawaytoreachyourveryownThirdCircle.Onceyougetthere,youwillseehowpowerfulitsresidualeffectreallyis.Itwillallowyoutofindanewmeaningforwhyyouexist,justlikeitdidforme.Thereisnowaytophysicallyproveatanytimethatindeedwhatyoubelievetobeyourpurposeeverwasoreverwillbe,butit’sirrelevantbecausetheenergyyourbeliefproducesanditsimpactonthosearoundyouwillbesosignificantthatitwillgiveanewmeaninghowyoulivelife.Itis,afterall,peoplelikeuswhorememberus,tellourstories,shareourpictures,andsharehowweimpactedtheirlives.Itisotherpeoplewhovalidateourexistence.

FinalWords

IhopeyouhaveenjoyedreadingtheThirdCircleTheory,andattheveryleast,absorbedinformationthatwillhelpyouredefineyourselfandfindthetruemeaningofyourveryownlife.

I’vehadtheprivilegeofhavingsomeextraordinaryinfluencesandpeoplearoundme,allofwhomhavemademewhoIamtoday.Iwanttotakeamomenttorecognizethemfortheirselflessnessandtheircontributionstomylife.

Firstofall,mymotherShahla,abeautifulwomanwhodevotedherlifetoworking,andsacrificedeverythingsothatIcouldlivemylifefreely.Yourdevotiontooursurvivalandyoursupportthroughoutalltheseyearswerenotfornothing.Afterunderstandinghowandwhypeoplebecomewhotheyare,itisonlynaturalthatIamaperfectreflectionofyou.Itisbecauseofthesacrificesyoumadethroughoutthepast30yearsthatIamabletotakethenextstepinhelpingpeoplewhiletrulyhonoringyourname,character,andwell-being.ThereisnobattleorpastcircumstanceIregretandthereisnobettermotherthantheonewhochoosesherownchildoverherselfeachandeverytime.Icouldnotbemoreproudofyouandyouraccomplishments,butmoreimportantly,Icouldhaveneveraskedforabettermotherthanyou.Thankyou!

PeoplelikeNavidandAlan—twoextraordinaryindividualswhodevotetheirmostpreciousresource—time—tohelpbringavisiontolife,avisionthatcanhelpothersrealizewhattheyaremissingoutonwhenitcomestoliving.Theseoutstandingpeoplehaveeveryabilitytobeselfishandfocusonmanymoneymakingopportunitiesthatcouldgivethemallthewealthandmaterialisticpossessionsonecandesire,butinsteadtheybelieveinpeopleenoughtodevotetheirtimeandenergytosomethingthatisnotaboutthem,butaboutthosearoundthem.Theirdrive,passion,andpowerfulworkethicissecondtonone.Theirloyaltyandloveforpeopletheyhavenevermetandtheimpacttheyaremakinginaselfishsocietyremindsmethateachandeverydaythatourworkmatters,andthatourdestinationisnoneotherthantheoneweenvisioned.Theexperienceofworkingwithsuchanincredibleteamistrulyaprivilege,onethatIwishmorepeoplecouldexperiencebutalsoonethathasmademeamuchbetterpersonasaresult.TheworkyouguyshavedoneistrulyremarkabletodateandIamveryexcitedforthingstocomeinthenext10yearsandalsoofseeingourfriendshipevolve.

IalsowanttorecognizemyUncleParviz,whoestablishedhimselfasaleader,coach,father,andmentorformegrowingupandwho,despitesharingaverydifferentoutlookonlife,stoodbehindmeineverytimeofneed.Yourselflessness,generosity,anddevotiontoothersisexemplaryandplayedasignificantroleinmyupbringingandsuccess.Thankyouforbeingtherewhenitmattered.

IalsowanttothankAhmad,amentorinmyfinancecareerwhoshowedmethattakingchancesonpeoplebasedonwhotheyare—notjustwhatthey’vedone—andhelpingthemreachtheirpotentialiswhatfulfillmentisallabout.HeoncetookachanceonmebecauseofwhomIcouldbecomeandnotwhatIlookedlikeonpaper.Hiscommitmenttoinvestinghistimeinotherswithouteverexpectinganythinginreturnisareflectionofthetruemeaningofgenerosity.

AbigthankyoutoSueforhelpingusbringthisbooktolife.Iwasexpectingnothingmorethananeditor,butinsteadfoundonemorepersonwhoispassionateaboutseeingtherightchangeoccurintheworld.Ithankyouforspendingextratimetomakesurethisbook’smessagewasbroughttolifeproperly.

ThankyoutoallthosewhoallowedmetobetheirleaderduringtimesofuncertaintyandgavemetheirtrustandloyaltywhenIneededitthemost.Greatleadersareonlyasgoodasthepeopletheylead,andIcanproudlysaythatIledsomeofthemostincrediblepeoplethroughmydifferentrolesandprojects.Yoursacrificesandunconditionalsupportwillneverbeforgotten.

PublicfigureslikeHenryFord,BillGates,WaltDisney,SteveJobs,andmanyothersremainedtruetotheircauseandmadetheirmarkinhistory,evenifattimestheynevergottoenjoythefruitsoftheirhardwork.Theirwords,actions,anddedicationtosomethinggreaterthanthemselvesmakesthemthetruepioneersoftheThirdCircleTheoryandreinforcesmybeliefeverydaythatweareonlyasgoodasouractionsandourabilitytohelpothersalongtheway.Thankyouforshowingeveryonethatifyoudreamit,youcandoit!

Iwanttoalsothankallofthosepeoplewhodidn’tbelieveinSecretEntourageandwhoprovidedtheoppositionandobstaclesIneededinordertofindoutwhatIwasmadeof.Allyoureffortstostopme,holdmedown,andpreventmefrombeingallIcouldbeallowedmetogainthestrength,courage,andmindsettoovercomeanyobjectionorfearthathascomemyway.Withoutyourlimitedthinkingandmediocrewayofliving,Iwouldhaveneverbeenabletorecognizewhatdefinesanextraordinarypersonandwouldhaveneverbeenableto

differentiatethesweetfromthesourinlife.

Lastbutnotleast,thankyoutoallofthefans,readers,followers,andmemberswhoemailourteameachandeveryday,remindingusoftheimpactwehavemadeintheirlife,andtheinspirationandguidanceweprovide.Yourwords,letters,andemailsmeanalottoeverymemberofourteamandyougiveusthefuelweneedtovalidatethatourworkmatters.Thankyouforyourloyalty,support,andgenerosityinbringingawarenesstoallwedo.

AboutTheAuthor

PejmanGhadimispent12yearsinvariousexecutivelevelpositionsinmanagementandfinance,beginningattheageof18,includingsixyearsinaVicePresidentlevelpositionforasuperregionalbank.In2004helaunchedVIPmotoring,aluxurylifestyleservicethatcatershighlineexoticcars,timepiecesandmoretohighnetworthindividuals,aswellashelpseducatethemonhowtoleveragelifestyleratherthanbeconsumedbyit.In2005,hefoundedSecretConsulting,asuccessfulconsultingfirmthatspecializesinEntrepreneurial,businessandLifestylecoachingaswellascorporateleadershiptraining.PejmanfoundedSecretEntouragein2006asameanstohelpandgrowayounggenerationinmuchneedofguidance.Sinceitslaunch,SecretEntouragehasexpandeditsreachtoalarge,worldwideaudience.Theorganizationhasaidedcountlessindividualsinreachingtheirfullpotential.SecretEntouragehasalsohelpedunifyaccreditedEntrepreneurswiththemissionofbringingbackthetruemeaningofentrepreneurship.

Pejman’slackofeducationalbackgroundandfinancialresourcesgrowingupisatestamentthattheabilitytosucceedexistswithinallofus,andthatsuccessstartswithourbeliefinourselves.

Acknowledgements

“Weoftenreadstoriesinthenewsaboutmillionaireswhobecamesuccessful,butwedon’toftengetanin-depthlookintohowhe/shebecamethatway.SecretEntouragetakesthetimetointerviewthesesuccessfulpeopleandgivesthemachancetoexplainindetailabouthowtheybecamethewaytheyare.Throughtheseinterviews,you’llhearstoriesthatyouwouldnotnormallyhearaboutinthemainstreamnews.It’salmostlikehavingthe‘director’scommentary’toasuccessfulperson’sbusiness/life,whereyougetbehind-the-scenesexplanationsonhoworwhyapersondidsomethingtobecomesuccessful.SecretEntouragedoesagreatservicetothecommunitybysharingtheseotherwiseuntoldstoriesandhopefullyinspiringotherstoachievesimilarsuccess.”

—AllenWong,AppDeveloper,5.0ScannerAppCreator

“SecretEntouragehashelpedmeconnectwithsomereallycoolpeoplewhoaresuccessfulintheirownuniqueendeavors.Asyouknow,it'sbeneficialtosurroundyourselfwithsuccessfulpeople.Newbiesshouldmakeaspecialefforttodothis,sotheydon'tidolizeandcopyonepersontheyknoworknowof;thinkinginsidetheboxofsomeoneelse'ssuccessstory.WhatIlikeaboutSecretEntourageisthatyourinterviewsarenotsensationalistic.Theyaren'taboutflashingandshowingofftheicingonthecake,andthemoney.Iandcountlessothershavelearnedlifelessons,successprinciples,andmorefromtheoftenhard-hittinginterviews.It'snicetoseetherealstrugglebehindthesuccess,therealtrialanderror.Themainstreammedialikestomakeanyone'ssuccesslooklikeabrilliantovernightmiracleduetotheirgeniusorsomeotherideal.Asidefrominterviews,you'vepublishedseveralbookswithactionableinstructionsandinsightintohowtolivethelifestylewewantwhilepreservingandprotectingthesuccesswe'veworkedsohardtoachieve.Thankyouguysforbeingreal.Iwillalwaysbeyoursupporter.”

—IanMason,OnlineMarketer&SoftwareDeveloper,SEHabitat

“SecretEntourageisoneofthebest,ifthesinglebest,websitesontheentireInternetthatinspiresentrepreneurshipandhelpsmotivatepeople.WheneverIreadanarticle,Iactuallyworkharderforseveraldaysbecausetheirinfluenceisthatstrongandeffective.Ifyou'renotreadingtheirblogposts,downloadingtheiramazingebooks,listeningtotheirinterviews,andtrulytakinginwhatthey

havetooffer,you'remissingoutandthat'ssad.”

—TimSykes,MillionaireDayTrader

“SEisanononsenseplacetogetpracticaladviceaboutentrepreneurship.Ilikethefactthatthey'renotpromotinganygetrichschemesorpromisinganything.Theytellithowitis.Theysharestoriesaboutwhatittakesandwhyyouhavetogetscrappyifyouwanttobeanentrepreneur.IalsolovehowSEstressestheimportanceofmindset.Mosthow-towebsitesjustfocusontheprocesswithoutanyregardtomindset.Icantellyoufromfirsthandexperiencethatmindsetisthefoundationofallsuccess.Notjustinbusinessbutinyourpersonallife.SEsetsthestageforsuccessbyteachingitsreadersthatitallstartswithmindset.IgotoSEforinspirationandlovereadingallthestoriesabouthowpeoplegottheirstart.Ifyou'veeverwantedtobeanentrepreneur,butweren'tsurehowtogetstartedthenSEisagreatplacetostart.Ihighlyrecommendcheckingthemout.”

—VincentWong,Co-Founder/CEOMHelpDesk

“SecretEntourageisunlikeanyotherwebsite,blog,ormagazine.Fromthemindofanentrepreneurtothebackboneofhowarealbusinessisbuilt–theysharestoriesofgrowth,successandmostimportantly,thehustleandgrind.SecretEntouragewasthefirsttoapproachustowriteanin-deptharticleaboutourcompanyandthepeoplebehindit.Atthetime,wehadjustexpandedourbusinessandbeganreallyfocusingonbecomingaglobalbrand.Tothisday,itisstillthemostpopulararticleonourwebsite.Fromourlatestprojects,events,productsandnewadventures,SEtakestheinitiativetoshareourvoicewiththeirmassiveaudience.Asourbusinesscontinuestogrow,ourrelationshipwithSEonlyfollowssuitbecauseweshareavisionthatwearenotmarketing,weareeducatingthenextgenerationofentrepreneurs.”

—TonyYuen,LuxuryLifestyleBoutique,SRAutoGroup

“WhatIlikeaboutSecretEntourageishowrealitis.Othersitesoffere-booksandoverpromiseandunderdeliveronthem,they"promise/guarantee"thatonceyouhavereadtheirbookanddoafeweasytasksyou'llbecomeamegamillionairealmostovernight.SecretEntourageisreal.Nowhereinanyarticledoesitpromiseanything,ittalksabouthowharditistomakeitandexplorestheideathatthereisnosecrettosuccess.Successcomesfromhardwork,consistencyanddoingtherightthingoverandover.SecretEntouragepushespeopletodobetter,tolookinsidethemselves,findsomethinggreat,toquittheir9-5andfindtheirpassion.SecretEntourage>all.”

—ChrisBosgraaf,AutomotiveEntrepreneur,WatercooledIND

“IsupportSecretEntouragebecausetheysharethevisionofempoweringyoungpeopletomakeashifttowardsself-reliance.SecretEntouragelivesGandhi'sstatementof,"Bethechangeyouwanttoseeintheworld."WhenyoucombinethatpowerfulstatementwiththewordsofGeorgeEliotwhosaid,"It'snevertoolatetobewhoyoumighthavebeen",yourealizethatwhateverphaseinlife"now"is,thereisstillopportunity.Thatisthegiftafterall,opportunity.Wedon'tdeserveanymeasureofgoodfortune,andnobodyowesusanything.Thegiftisn'tsomelevelofentitlement;thegiftisintheopportunity.SecretEntouragenotonlypromotesandsharesthismindset,buttheyalsohelpfacilitatethegrowththatenablesthisshift.Thereisalotofvalueinthatwayofthinkingandprovidingthatkindofenvironment.”

—BarryDoyle,Entrepreneur,ExoticClutchTechnologies

“SecretEntourageisthebestresourceforallthingsentrepreneurshipandluxurylifestyle.AptoHQsupportsSEbecausetheyprovideamazinguniquecontent,greatinformationproducts,andhighlymotivational/inspirationalinterviewsandstorieswithprovenentrepreneurs.WehighlyrecommendanyoneinterestedingettingoutoftheratraceandbecomingfinancialindependenttofollowSecretEntourage.Keepupthegreatworkguys,lookforwardtoseeingwhatyouguysdoin2013!”

—TomCruz,WebHostingProvider,AptoHQ

“Whodoesn'twantagoodclosefriendintheirlifewhosharesthesamemindset?That'sPejmanforme.Besidessomeonewhomyoucanrelyon,hestandsasanalter-egowithwhomI'vehadthepleasureofsharingalotofgoodmemorieswith.IfIhadtodescribePejmanbyhismostprincipalcharacteristics,Iwouldsimplysaythathedoesn'trestonhislaurels.Hecanstandonthehillandinthevalleyandnotlosesight—andbetheloneoutsiderifheneedstobetoseethingstotheend.Pejman'sgeniusliesinhismakeup,inhisabilitytowalkadistinctpathinlifeandperceivewithmorethanjusthisknowledge,butwithhishistorylookingbackandhiscollectiveenergylookingforwardtomakeconcretechoicestodaythatcreatesideeffectsthatextendbeyondhimself.AndoneofthosesideeffectsincludesthewayI'vebeenabletobeinspiredbyPejman,motivatedtoactandtomoveforwardwithmorevelocityandtoshareinadifferentperspective.Pejman'stenacityandenergysimplycreatesanenvironmentthatfostersgrowthandenergizespeople.Aswithmostgoodstoriesinlife,thebestisyettocomewithPejmanandSecretEntourage–andsoI'm

stayingtuned.”

—NavidN.,DirectorofDesign,SecretEntourage

“’Timeflies’isanexpressionI'vebeenrecentlyusingmoreandmore.Maybeit'smyolderageandmemoryworsening,butthelastseveralyearshavebecomequiteablurtome.Butit'sablurfilledwiththegrowthofmyselfasanindividual.Yousee,fouryearsago,Iwasnothingmorethanyouraverageteenager.AlthoughIwasclosetograduatingcollege(Ididin2009),Iwasstilllazyandcomplacent.I'vealwayswantedmoreformyself,butwascomfortableinmyownshoes.Youcouldarguethatthosefouryearsofgrowthwasfromrealworldexperienceandmaturity,butIcanhonestlythankonepersonforhelpingmechangethewayIlookatlifeandmakingmethepersonIamtoday.

ThatpersonisPejman,whoImetthroughafewmutualinterestsweshared.Constantrun-inswitheachothergotusacquainted.WhileIsawnothingmorethanateenagerinthemirror,Pejmansawsomethingmuchmoreinme.Thepotentialhesawinmewassogreatthatheaskedmetopartneruponhisnewbusinessideaaimedtochangetheworld.ThatideawasSecretEntourage.

AsIsaidbefore,Iwantedmoreinlifeandstronglybelieveinseizingopportunitywhenitpresentsitself.SecretEntouragehasbeenatruetestofmyowncharacter.AlthoughI'vebeeninvolvedinvariousbusinessesinthepast,thiswasonewhereIhadtodedicatemyfullattentionbecause,afterall,IhadapartnerIcouldn'tdisappoint.Everyventurewillhaveupsanddowns,andPejmanwasabletoconstantlykeepmemovingforwardwithpositiveprogress,evenwhendistractionsandobstaclescameup.Hisabilitytohelpmelookatthefutureratherthanthepresentallowedmetoseethebigpictureofbusinessandlife,ingeneral.WhileworkingundertheleadershipofPejman,Iwasabletoseetheworldfromadifferentperspective—onewherepositivityiskeytosuccess,butalsobeingfearless,forminggoodconsistenthabits,havinggoodcommonsense,andultimatelyknowingwehaveachoiceinhowourlifeunfolds.Asmuchaswededicateourblood,sweat,andtearsintoSecretEntourage,Pejmanhasalwaysbeenafriendfirst,andabusinesspartnersecond.There'sneveramomentwhenhe'snotthereformeorconcernedformywell-being.Althoughwenowlivethousandsofmilesapart,thingshaven'tchanged-alwaysaphonecallawayandreadilyavailablewhenyouneedhim.Fast-forwardtotodayandIcanproudlysayI'veattemptedand/ordonethingsmostindividualsmyagehaveneverdoneintheirlife.Forthatmomentoftrust,faith,andopportunityfouryearsago,IcanonlythankPejman.”

—AlanD.,DirectorofMarketing,SecretEntourage