Three Rivers, Three Lakes, One Sea

Characters

DOUG, a man in his fortiesKEENO, his buddy, same age

PEIA, a partly human seductress

Setting

Various waterways.

Three Rivers, Three Lakes, One SeaCopyright © 2015 by William Donnelly

wdonnelly@townisp.com

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(KEENO and DOUG are dressed in flannel shirts and boots. DOUG wears afishing hat. Both carry fishing poles.)

DOUG(To audience.) So this buddy of mine, Artie Keene, right? Keeno. Him and me, we go onthese fishing trips every year, and we go all over. Sabbatia. The Nip. We go all over.Seven years we been doing it. Kind of a long time.

How’s it looking out there, Keeno?

KEENOA little slim.

DOUGNice day for it, though.

KEENOSure is.

It sure is.

DOUG(To audience.) Good guy, Keeno. I met him through this lady at work. She knew I likedfishing. Knew Keeno did too. So she put us together. Started going on these fishing trips.Got to be pretty good friends I think.

(To KEENO.) How’s it looking out there, Keeno?

KEENOIt is what it is.

I seen you peeing over there.

DOUGDid ya?

KEENOI didn’t mean to.I usually don’t.I mean, I usually don’t see where you go.You usually go farther out.But this time you didn’t.So I saw.

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DOUGThat’s okay, Keeno. It’s not a crime or nothing.

KEENOI don’t usually see where you go.

DOUGDon’t worry about it.

(Pause.)

KEENOCircumcised, huh?

DOUG(To audience.) That’s kinda how it was. We’d talk like that. About Life, Fish . . . It wassort of what we did.

KEENOYou think there are any plants that kill?

DOUGYes I do.

KEENOReally?

DOUGHemlock, dogbane, berries . . . shit—

KEENONo, I mean plants that kill. Actively kill. Not that you die from stuff that’s in em.

DOUGPlants that actively kill?

KEENOYeah. You think there are plants like that?

DOUGProbably.

KEENOThat’s what I think. In the Jungle, y’know?Deep in The Jungle.In the Heart of Darkness.

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Imagine running into one of those fuckers.

DOUG(To audience.) He’s an interesting guy to converse with. His mind is always coming upwith interesting thoughts. Somewhere in that fourth year he started having trouble withhis wife. Guess they went through their share of, what you might call, MaritalDifficulties. Things get complicated, y’know? It does happen.

KEENODoes your wife respect you?

DOUGSure.

I think she does.

KEENOYou suspect it, right? I mean, you sense it and you think it and you feel there’s respectthere.

DOUGI do.

KEENOSee . . . I don’t feel that.In my marriage.With Gina.

DOUGYou feel she doesn’t respect you?

KEENOI feel like she thinks of me as . . . somewhat lesser.

DOUGLesser than what?

KEENOLesser than whatever would be More.

I’m worried it’s becoming a Problem.

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DOUGSorry, Keeno.

KEENONot your fault.

DOUGNo, I know, it’s just—

KEENOYeah . . .

DOUGSad to hear it is all.

KEENOIt’s a kick in the dick all right.

Ah, it’s probably just a bump. I’m sure we’ll get past it.

DOUG(To audience.) They broke up of course. She said she had some learning and somegrowing to do and that Keeno did too. He didn’t like that part. Anyway, she left him andthen . . . he was alone.

(They fish for some time before speaking.)

KEENOI miss her, Doug. I really miss her sometimes.

DOUG(To audience.) It was a rough time for him. Would be for anybody. He did a lot of soulsearching. A lot of contemplation.

KEENODougie . . .

Do you ever think we’re just a speck of crud in some blank, godless universe, and ourexistence is nullified by the fact that we were produced by some random, chemicalaccident and now—cursed with the power to think—we’re just these hollow, ghostlyshells walking the planet, questioning all, continually searching for a truth that is nodeeper than an aggravating marriage of physics and gas?

DOUGI do think that.

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But then I think . . .

Nah.

(Pause.)

KEENOCompelling argument.

DOUG(To audience.) So this one time we decided to go out on the ocean. To go to the sea asmen had before. To fish something bigger, something deeper. And that’s what we did.And we went all the way out.

(We hear the sound of the sea. DOUG and KEENO fish. In time, we hear adisembodied female voice singing a gentle, wordless melody. DOUG and KEENOlook at each other. Again, the voice sings. After a moment, PEIA appears, lookingnot unlike a siren.)

KEENOOh my shit.

DOUGIs she for real?

KEENO(To PEIA.) Are you for real?

PEIACome away with me.

KEENOMe?

PEIAI want you to come to me.

KEENOWho are you looking at?

PEIACome.

(She sings.)

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KEENOIs that “Rio”?

DOUGNo . . . Is it?

KEENOIsn’t it?

DOUGWhy would a siren know Duran Duran?

KEENOYou’re a siren, right?

PEIACome to me.

KEENO(To DOUG.) What do you think?

DOUGI think one of us should go.

KEENOI’m feeling that too. Should I?

DOUGWhy you?

KEENOWell, you still have a wife.

DOUGYeah, but it doesn’t have to be like that. Maybe we’ll just talk.

KEENOYeah, I’m sure you’ll just talk.

DOUGLookit, man, I’m not saying I should go, I’m saying I have a strong urge to go.

KEENONo shit, that’s their whole thing.

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DOUGSo what do we do?

KEENOShoot for it.

DOUGOdds.

KEENOEvens.

DOUG and KEENOOnce, twice, three times, SHOO.

KEENOFuck. Two outta three.

PEIAI’m waiting.

DOUG(Looks at PEIA. Looks at KEENO. Beat.) You go.

KEENOSeriously?

DOUGI want you to.

KEENODougie . . .

PEIAWhy don’t you both come?

DOUGWe can do that?

DOUG (cont) KEENOGreat. Super.

(As she exits, PEIA coaxes the fishermen to follow.)

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DOUG(To audience.) Of course she just lured us into dangerous waters and we were dashed onthe rocks. Sirens, right?

It wasn’t “Rio” by the way. She was not singing “Rio.”

KEENOWas too.

DOUGAnyway . . . Sitting out that night . . . shipwrecked . . . stranded . . . Keeno and me werelooking up at the stars . . . looking out at the sea . . .

KEENODougie . . .

Y’ever have a moment when we’re not fishing, when you’re . . . y’know . . . out in yourlife, and you just . . . not in any serious way, but just kinda casually . . . think of me?

DOUG(He thinks.) I do.

KEENOReally?

DOUGI do.

Do you do that with me? When I’m not around?

KEENOI was home this one time . . . It was a dark blue sky like this one, but just dark . . . the sunwas just then all the way gone, y’know, and it was summer so it was warm and there wasthis whole feeling around like when you’re young and in the yard and you feel like youcan run all night forever. And I was standing in the middle of that whole feeling and Ithought: “Wonder what Dougie’s up to.”

DOUGYou thought that?

KEENOYeah.

Is that gay do you think?

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DOUGI don’t know.

I don’t think so.

KEENOI don’t care if it is.

DOUG(To audience.) And here we are.Waiting on the rocks.The moon is up.The sky keeps folding out like there’s nothing behind it . . . nothing to stop it . . .

That’s pretty much everything up to now.