1. perspective Reproduced with the permission of choice Magazine, www.choice-online.com SoulMeets Purpose Are your clients goals driven by ego or soul? By Tim Kelley Coaching, as a relatively new profession, isof achieving a goal does not live up to their expecta-still defining itself. A definition I favor is tions. I contend that these are symptoms of poorthis, as a coach I help my clients achieve goal setting, not necessarily poor coaching or badgoals. This contrasts with psychotherapy,faith on the part of the client. The distinction here is which helps clients to fix personal problems. Goalbetween goal setting and goal clarification. setting is a key component of a coaching relation- More sophisticated coaching techniques establish ship, and it is a rich topic. I will address only one a purpose (or mission) for the client first, then to set aspect of it How do we know whether our clientsgoals consistent with the purpose. There are two goals will serve them?basic schools of thought about how to do this:1. It is the coachs role to help the client createa purpose. Creating a purpose is much like set- An ego goal or desire that isting a goal. It is the clients decision which pur-pose to pursue. not related to a persons life 2. The client already has a purpose they just purpose will go nowhere. dont know it. It is the coachs role to help theclient to discover their purpose.The first approach, while much simpler, has the Most coaches have had a client set a goal the coach same flaw as goal setting. How do we know whether did not believe was healthy. Many of us have coachedthe purpose a client creates will serve them? I submit a client towards a reasonable-sounding goal, only tothat we have no choice but to assume that our clients encounter ongoing resistance from the client. Mostalready have a purpose and our role is to help them find telling, it is often the case that a clients experienceit. Repeated experience with my clients has borne this VOLUME 2 ISSUE 415

2. perspective Reproduced with the permission of choice Magazine, www.choice-online.comSoul ValuesA goal that serves a clientConcerned with being, not doingis one that is consistent with A long-term view, sometimes beyond ahis or her purpose. single lifetime No attachment to what form the mani-festation of the purpose takes (itsout. Discovering their purpose has been a deep andall good)enriching experience for them, and for me. No preference for what experience theWithout delving too deeply into psychology, allow ego is having; doesnt divide experi-me to make a basic distinction: the part of us that weences into good and badknow about, think about, and make decisions from Iwill call the ego (also termed the conscious in Jungian Sees a persons life as a work of artor journeypsychology). Our purpose is invisible to our everydaymind (in what Jung calls the unconscious). It lives in the Sees all experiences as teachingsdark, until the client (or a talented coach) finds it. Foralong a path (no matter how the egowant of a better term, I will call the part of us that sets experiences them)our purpose our soul. How much religious or spiritualsignificance you attach to this term depends on yourown beliefs. I use it because my clients understand is consistent with his or her purpose, and the soul isimmediately what I am talking about. An equally the keeper of the purpose, not the ego.applicable term is entelechy, a principle within anHow can you determine whether what your clientorganism that guides its development. is saying is based in his or her soul? Many coaches useUsing this terminology, I would say that all goalsintuition, and this is a fine tool. I offer an additionalare set by the ego, with varying degrees of influence structure to assist you. The ego has distinct values,from the soul. A goal that serves my client is one that which cause it to choose certain things over others.The soul operates by completely different princi- Ego Values ples. By being aware of the differences, you may beable to hear or sense which part of your client is dri- Healthving an interaction. Wealth The ego is entirely responsible for setting goals.Dont take what I am saying to mean that the ego is Happinessbad in some sense, or that its values dont serve. My Avoiding fear, pain, and struggle point is simply this: an ego goal or desire that is not Particular life circumstances like: own-related to a persons life purpose will go nowhere. It ising a home, a fast car, living in a specif- our responsibility as coaches to help our clientsic place, or having a great relationshipground their goals in something deeper than sim-Acceptance, approval, admiration, andple ego desire.respect from othersTim Kelley is a consultant, executive coach, and corporate Divides experiences into good and bad,trainer. He is co-author of Wake Up and Live the Life Youlike and dont like Love: Living On Purpose (Little Seed Publishing). Tim is anICF member and a founding member of the IAC. 16VOLUME 2 ISSUE 4