“to share or not to share:” how much should college applicants share in their essays and...
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“To Share or Not to Share”: How much should college applicants
share in their essays and applications?
Rebecca Joseph, Cal State LA and Get Me To CollegeSylvia Juarez-Magana, Juarez Consulting Inc. Lauren Popkowski, Oaks Christian
Share Learn Connect Los Angeles, March 2015
How Important Are the Essays?
Grades
Rigor of Coursework, School
Test Scores
Activities-Sustained consistency, development, leadership, and initiative
Special skills, talents, awards, community service and passions
Recommendations-Teacher and/or Counselor
Additional Information
Essays –Importance Ranges From Considerable to Moderate To None.
RJ
*NACAC Annual Survey
College Admissions Writing = Opportunity
Show unique stories that make applicants jump off the page
Master the highest ranked non-academic aspect of the application
Demonstrate what they can offer to college campuses
Realize the package of essays counts…not just one
Share applicants unique voices
Express who they really are
Challenge stereotypes
Reflect on their growth and development, including accomplishments and service
Seek to understand what the admission officers are looking for
LP
Successful Admissions Writing Includes:
Introspection ~ Self reflection allows for depth in writing
Complex Thinking ~ Identify & showcase multi-dimensions
Simplicity~ Addressing the prompt; no tangents
Coherence ~ Arrangement of qualities with examples
Style and Tone (personal) ~ Be true to oneself; “voice”
Syntax and Format (maturity) ~ Multiple drafts are a must
RJ
Understanding the Purpose…University of California Prompts• All applicants must respond to two essay prompts — the general prompt
and either the freshman or transfer prompt, depending on your status.
• Responses to your two prompts must be a maximum of 1,000 words total (allocate at least 250 words for one response).
• Provide views from two different aspects of your life or background ~ illustrates how well rounded you are.
The Prompts
• 1. Freshman applicant prompt
• Describe the world you come from — for example, your family, community or school — and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations. (Influence and Impact)
• 2. Prompt for all applicants
• Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are? (The Facts with Examples) RJ
Understand the Essays…The Common Application:
One mandatory long prompt
Writing Supplements—depend on each college
The Prompts
Some students have a background or story that is so central to their identity that they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.
Recount an incident or time when you experienced failure. How did it affect you, and what lessons did you learn?
Reflect on a time when you challenged a belief or idea. What prompted you to act? Would you make the same decision again?
Describe a place or environment where you are perfectly content. What do you do or experience there, and why is it meaningful to you?
Discuss an accomplishment or event, formal or informal, that marked your transition from childhood to adulthood within your culture, community, or family.
Private College Specific Applications
Other Systems (Universal Application, etc.) LP
Try To Avoid…• …emphasizing “strength of character.”
• …sounding “perfect.”
• …forgetting your passions, curiosity and inspirations.
• …contrived transitions that don’t connect.
• …narratives that do not engage the reader.
• …repeating what is already mentioned in other parts of the application/repeating the same story.
• …dull openings that quickly lose interest.
• …using quotes that don’t connect or add anything to the essay.
• …forgetting/ignoring the prompt or question being asked.
• …the expected.
• …writing what you think admission officers want to read.
• …too much written in the passive voice.
• …writing too generally about too many things.
• …slang or relaxed language.
Source: “Writing the Common Application Essay and What to Avoid” by Jeannie Borin,
College Connections, LLC
LP
Inappropriate Reveals
• Readers are not interested in essays with “shock value.”
• “…too many kids attach such a crazy degree of importance to getting into the most selective schools that they do stagey, desperate, disturbing things to stand out. The essay portion of their applications can be an especially jolting illustration of that.”
• Examples: urinating on self, referencing their genitalia, self-proclaimed Casanova, vulgar language, symbols instead of words.
Source: Naked Confessions of the College-Bound: Oversharing in Admissions Essays op ed
by Frank Bruni. The New York Times.
RJ
To Share or Not to Share
Sensitive Topics: A Balancing Act
• Rehab
• Eating Disorders
• Arrests
• Abuse
• Violence
• Sexuality
• Wildcard
RJ
Example
• How do you plan to use your engineering degree to benefit society? (250 word limit)
I wish my mom would let me keep a massage chair in my room.
Every summer since I was a kid, my grandpa and I would receive massages together. Having also previously been a trained masseuse, he would attempt to counsel me in the art, hoping to pass on his skills to me. Sometimes, I would practice massaging my parents; more often, I’d practice on myself.
Not to sing my own praise, but I’ve always preferred the massages I gave myself to any that I’ve paid for. There was always a spot on my shin that they skipped over, that one pressure point on my back which would make me squirm. In massaging myself, I've found my sweet spots: those points that when rubbed, produce a heavenly feeling, inducing a relaxing, euphoric trance.
I dreamt of engineering some machine that could repeatedly target those sweet spots. I tried many touted massage chairs, but every one that I sat in was mechanical, lifeless, and could in no way compare to my own massages or even to the ones I received.
With my engineering degree, I seek to design a massage chair that will provide a much more pleasurable experience, customizable to fit each person's distinct sweet spots. I hope that my chairs are so soothing that they spur every past happy memory. Every time I get a perfect massage, I sure remember the joyous times I've spent with my grandpa.
After all, engineering should strive to improve people’s lives.
LP
Essay Workshops
Create a boot camp for your students – even if just for a day!
Work on writing one to two core essays
Drafts, drafts, and more drafts (the average essay takes at least four drafts to have a clear message)
Free-writing
Brainstorming
Organization
Be willing to include unique stories and pivotal messages or a unique take on student interests
LP
Individual Consulting
• Drafting
• Visualizing
• What Did You Do Last Summer
RJJ and LP
What Did You Do Last Summer?
• Stories
• Connections to leadership and initiative
• Connections to passions
• Connections to what they offer campuses
RJ
Red Flags
Final Thoughts
Students need to remember that they:
Can create amazing essays and control this process
Cannot use essays to get into unrealistic college choices
Have just a few minutes to grab the attention of an essay reader.
Need weeks, not days, to write effective college essays.
Cannot manufacture essays; essays convey truth, unique stories, and writing skills.
Can tell their stories like no one else.
Need not mention anything they are not ready to discuss.
RJ, LP, SJ
Thank You
• Rebecca Joseph, [email protected]; [email protected]
• Sylvia Juarez-Magana, Juarez Consulting Inc. [email protected]
• Lauren Poplowski, [email protected]