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august 2009 [[1R]]

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sony QRio these two-foot tall japanese bots were once in great demand for their conversational skills and mimicry of human movements. the dance routine in beck’s ‘hell yes’ video took three weeks to programme; they were the only four working Qrios in the world at the time.

KRaftweRK kraftwerk would have us believe they really did turn into robots somewhere along the way. conceptual depth aside, we wonder if they really mean the robots to be quite so camp? check the hands on the hips, reddened lips, matching outfits and synchronised marching.

the ChemiCal Brothers’ roBot armyalong with the terrifying clown for ‘Battleweapon 7/acid Children’ (“you’re all my children now!)” and the exploding paint balls in ‘saturate’, one of the most memorable sequences of all from the Chemical Brothers’ jaw-dropping visual show is the 30-foot high automatons unleashed to wobble towards the crowd like an unstoppable tin toy army during the breakdown of ‘Under the influence’. directed, like all the Chems’ visuals, by long-term collaborator and sometime skins director adam smith, aka flatnosegeorge, these awesome automatons have freaked out fans at shows from trafalgar square to australia. Mech-nificent.

aRteMis 81.2a smitten robyn pines for her state- of-the-art cybernetic gardener. but rather than embarking on a 22nd- century version of Lady Chatterley’s Lover, the jeans-clad, orange-bodied android from royksöpp’s ‘girl and the robot’ seems more interested in his herbaceous borders...

dRoids you gotta love 70s French band the droids for dressing up in shimmery outfits to perform dreamy space disco track ‘the Force’ on tV. as with all good robot performances the duo remain silent, solemnly pressing buttons, while a scantily clad female droid prances about between them.

CyBeRBjÖRKstwo robots that look uncannily like björk get all sexy and tender with each other in the video to ‘all is Full of love’, culminating in a lovely cyber-sapphic snog, as their internal workings are fine-tuned by mechanical arms in a whiter-than-white robot workshop.

the RoCKit faMilyherbie hancock’s suburban house full of robots has it all, from a jerking, bed-bound teenage son to grandpa hanging out in the front room with unsettling marching legs. throw in some kitchen table head-bashing and a weird-looking bird and you’ve got five mtV Video music awards.

speaK & spell the speak & spell toy (et used it to ‘phone home’) has such a perfectly cold robotic voice that it’s been sampled by everyone from jean michel jarre and the pet shop boys to aphex twin and siriusmo. messing around with the circuits creates completely new sounds.

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Metal Boy“hello, robots inc. how can i help you?” “i want metal fingers in my body.” add n to x’s ‘metal Fingers in my body’ video is 70s porn-style animated naughtiness in which a robot gigolo satisfies a lusty young lady with his impressive electronic pleasure pole. “take me, metal boy!”

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diRty RoBotanother randy robot gets all horny trying to win over a human lass in dutch electronic duo arling & cameron’s ‘dirty robot’. lines like ‘baby, i’ve got the hots for you’ lead to various knockbacks. yet she still seems like she’s into him, especially on kate moss’s recent raunchy cover.

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daft pUnK daft punk’s penchant for dressing as Masters Of The Universe-style robots doesn’t come cheap – the copyrighted, led-panelled helmets cost $14,000 each. proof that robots can be boring too, most of the audience at the cannes screening of their film Electroma walked out.

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Beasties’ ‘inteRgalaCtiC’ Botthis robot jox (youtube it)-style megabot pulls bombastic break- dance moves and smashes up shop fronts and buildings before taking out his trident-zapping octopus- monster foe with some heavy foot stamping and a well-aimed karate kick. classic japanese b-movie fun.

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and the don of dance music robots is…1

this month:

the world’s

Best rave

roBots

THE12each month we bring you a diFFerent dance music dozen