tri couples

80 triathlete.com | February 2011 February 2011 | triathlete.com 81

love on the

Swim, Bike and Run

the challenge of merging love with multisport has inspired a Facebook page (“how to date an endurance

athlete”), a book (“how to date a triathlete”) and countless off-color jokes. training and competing

certainly can take a toll on one’s energy stores, leaving little for relationships, family, sex and romance. Yet

numerous triathlon-loving couples make it work just beautifully. in the spirit of St. Valentine’s day, we chatted with a half dozen well-known pairs to learn what makes

these tried and true triathlon twosomes tick. By Holly Bennett

Luke McKenzie didn’t make a good

first impression on Amanda Balding.

The setting was a 2006 training camp ride in

Cairns, Australia, and Luke had bonked badly.

Seeing him on the side of the road, Amanda

thought, “There’s always one idiot.” But an

intriguing heart-to-heart conversation a few

days later left them both dizzy with infatu-

ation. They’ve traveled the world together,

training and racing, ever since—sealing

their commitment with wedding vows last

October.

Luke: Immediately after the camp, we were

apart for several weeks. I e-mailed her

constantly. It allowed us to get to know each

other, minus the physical part. Amanda: I had been single for quite some time. I wasn’t

interested in settling down or changing

my lifestyle. But Luke was so similar—we

both love to train hard, race hard, play hard

and travel the world. We’re spontaneous—

maybe even a little crazy. I knew I’d met my

match. Luke: We’ve dealt with injuries and

misfortune in our careers, as well as success.

Being in it together, being there for each

other has been incredible. Amanda: Luke is

physically strong and mentally tough, but

he’s also emotionally sensitive. I am his secret

weapon of support! Plus our fun factor is

through the roof. We work ourselves to the

bone, but we have a bloody good time doing

it. Luke: We don’t let training and racing rule

our lives, but rather share a pure love for the

sport, the people in our lives and the lifestyle

we lead because of it. We’re lucky, and we’re

totally on the same page. Amanda: Any

drawbacks? Intimacy is something we share

every day, but sex is sometimes forgone.

We’re just too smashed from training.

de

lly c

ar

r


At Caulfield Grammar School in Melbourne,

Australia, Sarah and Chris Legh’s

parent-teacher conferences focused on how

to handle the two high schoolers’ obvious

attraction. But Sarah was dating a college

guy, and it took Chris three years to win

her away. When they finally got together,

it was almost a foregone conclusion the

connection would last a lifetime. Nineteen

years later, they share a marriage, business,

homes on two continents and a pair of gor-

geous daughters.

Chris: Even though I’m the professional ath-

lete, Sarah was a competitive swimmer in

school, so she understands what it takes to

succeed. We’ve been in this together since

day one. Sarah: We’ve always shared the

same goals. And not just in triathlon—we

have similar families, similar backgrounds,

we know everything imaginable about

each other. Chris: Our involvement in the

sport is pretty broad. I race, but we both

work with our sponsors; we run a triathlon

distribution business in Australia. We’ve

built a life around the sport. Sarah: Early

on, we chose to travel together. The longest

we’ve ever been apart is three and a half

weeks. Yet we never begrudge each other

our independence. Chris goes off with the

guys and I take time with my girlfriends.

He’s also amazing with our daughters—he

loves hanging out with them, no matter

how hard a day he’s had. Chris: In April,

Sarah’s running the Paris Marathon with

her girlfriends. She just started running and

cycling in the past year—I think her race ca-

reer may take off while mine nears its end!

Sarah: It’s really cool, actually. For the first

time in our relationship, we’re running and

riding together. Those are some of our best

dates! Chris: In terms of intimacy, I can see

how you might be in trouble balancing a

regular full-time job, family and training.

But for us? Not at all. I mean, what else is

there to do in the afternoon? Sarah: It’s

true! We’re always super busy, but we also

have an amazing amount of flexibility, so

it’s easy to make each other a priority.

Leanda Cave and Torsten Abel first caught each other’s eye at a triathlon in Portugal. Inspired by a note Leanda left with the

hotel concierge, Torsten followed her, first back to training camp in Munich and, later, overseas to Australia. That was 1999; the couple

married in the summer of 2010 and recently settled into a new home in Tucson, Ariz.

Torsten: I grew up in the Bavarian Alps. It was idyllic, sheltered. I never intended to leave. But now I’m a world traveler. Leanda: In the

beginning, Torsten talked with his eyes and hands, his engaging smile. Outside of Germany he struggled. He was very dependent on me.

Torsten: I’ve tried to repay her over the years as a coach and training partner—it was something I could give back to her. Back then I was

dependent on her financially, also. But we wanted to be together. If I stayed home, where I could work, we would be separated for too

long. Leanda: I disagree with people who say, “Love is all you need.” It’s not always enough—not if the stress overwhelms the relationship.

There was a time we had only my income and a mortgage and a ton of financial pressure. I finally cracked and walked away for a time.

Then Torsten was invited to the States to become a coach. I saw him take a big risk, going outside his comfort zone and putting his own

sporting career on hold, to build toward our future. Torsten: I fought for us! Things are easier now—we’ve learned money management

skills, we’ve built a foundation. We’ve learned to communicate and become best friends. But we also have intense passion and attraction

for each other. Leanda: Granted, during heavy training blocks we’re rarely intimate, but during our easier weeks and off-season, it’s on.

The off-season for training is definitely the on-season for romance. Torsten: We’re both very romantic. We’d rather savor it when we can

fully connect. If you love chocolate and eat it every day, at some point you reach saturation. But if you push it away, wait just a bit longer,

then when you indulge you think, “Wow, I’ve never tasted chocolate like that before!”nil

s n

ils

en


Nerida and Craig Alexander first met as 17-year-olds on a

beach in New South Wales, Australia. Their summer romance was

initially short-lived, as a term abroad took Nerida overseas and Craig

remained in Australia. Four years later, Nerida accepted an invitation

to Craig’s 21st birthday party, and their connection was rekindled. The

couple now boasts a 17-year history and two beautiful children, with

hopes for a third.

Craig: At the moment, my career is what we’re building our life

around, as it is finite. However, the well-being of our children and

family is a priority with every decision. If I saw Neri melting down

every day—struggling with the kids, home schooling, managing all

my career logistics—I would retire, without question. Family comes

first. Nerida: Sometimes when I’m having a bad day, he suggests the

lifestyle is too hard on us. I always tell him to ask me again tomorrow.

So far, we’re still going! Craig: Money was tight when we were first

together. Neri worked full-time as a nurse to support us. I remember

one race where I was really hurting with about 6K to run. But I couldn’t

stop thinking about our broken heater and fridge. I buckled down and

won. Nerida: He’s always performed under pressure, racing for our

survival. We never argue about money. Granted, it’s not a huge issue

now, but we still have the same spending habits as 10 years ago. I’m a

bargain shopper. Craig: I think it’s harder on me when I’m racing. Neri

pretty much goes on with life, but I’m the one missing home. I try to

make my trips only a few days, unless she and the kids can join me.

Nerida: But I also think it’s good for him to have that focused time

away. And as often as he travels, as much as he’s in the spotlight,

jealousy has never been an issue for me. Honestly, I think Craig is

oblivious. Sure, women adore him, but he has blinders on. We’re solid.

We love each other. It’s that simple, really.

A decade ago, Canadian Melanie McQuaid

met Ross Taylor at a friend’s birthday party.

Ross slipped a clever note in her purse, then pro-

ceeded to play hard-to-get when she phoned. But

the couple finally connected and on their second

date, Melanie moved right into Ross’ tiny bachelor

pad with her fleet of muddy mountain bikes.

Melanie: He was a baggy-pants downhiller

when we met. Now he shaves his legs and wears

spandex. He’s a super strong cyclist, but I’m glad

he’s not a triathlete. I don’t want a colleague as

a partner. Ross: I’m a high-end furniture builder/

designer/retailer/entrepreneur. I love what I do.

We’re both extremely busy, successful people, and

we admire that in each other. I’ve seen her work so

hard for what she wants. Remember the altitude

tent? Melanie: I sold my car to buy an altitude

tent. A majority of the Xterra tour was at altitude,

and back then I couldn’t afford to train away from

home. That was kind of a trying time in our rela-

tionship—Ross and I sleeping in there together,

sweating our asses off! But he was all in. We’re

both all-in people. He’s also taught me to take

time and reflect on things before reacting. I can be

a bit of a hothead. Ross: We both have strong per-

sonalities. We were kind of rash in the beginning,

and we went through a few rough patches, but we

sorted things out. Now I think that’s part of what

makes us a great match. Melanie: It’s important

that our relationship doesn’t revolve just around

me. I try to be a triathlete during work hours and

a normal person the rest of the time. Most of our

closest friends are not involved in racing. It’s not

the No. 1 topic around the dinner table. Ross: We

have a ton of common ground, but we also have

different interests and talents. We love socializing.

We ride bikes all over the world together. I’m an

avid skier, and Mel wants to get more involved in

that when she retires. She’s an amazing chef—a

gourmet. Plus she’s developed an interest in col-

lecting fine wines. Melanie: And Ross is happy to

eat and drink, so it’s a good balance!

Hillary Biscay and Maik Twelsiek’s first date kicked off when

Hillary was stranded without a ride home

after a race in Noosa, Australia—after

she coyly asked her friends to leave. Their

ride detoured for ice cream and later,

dinner. Several weeks of stall tactics—a

lost passport, a missed flight—later, and

the two had cemented their connection,

agreeing to spend summer 2009 together

at Maik’s home in Germany. Fast-forward a

year, and the couple was engaged.

Hillary: It helps when you’re feeling the

same way about one another. We were

at a training camp in Kona when I came

to the conclusion he was the one. Two

weeks later, he proposed. Obviously we

were on the same page! Maik: Hillary

knows what she wants, always, and I’m

pretty flexible—so it works. Hillary: I’m

definitely the intense one, so his calmness

is a good balance. But he’s also incredibly

dedicated and tough. He’ll do whatever it

takes on a daily basis, which makes me

respect him not only as an athlete but as

a partner. Maik: I only race a few times a

year, so she is always there for me. I go to

her important races, but can’t be at every

one. I sometimes worry about her racing

as much as she does—getting so tired. But

her body seems to handle it. Hillary: We

raced Ironman Lake Placid together last

summer. Maik won, and I had a horrible

day. I was determined not to talk about my

race and instead focus on celebrating his

victory. I refused to put a cloud over what

he had achieved. Maik: But a week later

she dragged me to a 50-mile trail run. Hill-ary: That was what I needed to feel better

about my Ironman—a new adventure.

Poor guy, he ended up pacing me for 27

miles, through the middle of the night. It

must be love! nil

s n

ils

en

, ta

ra

min

to

tri couples

Documents