tx citizen 2.21.13
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TX Citizen Vol 2 • Issue 8 • Feb 21, 2013TRANSCRIPT
Spor tspage Tr ip le Threat | Anonymous Hate Mai l | Be ing Bubba
VOLUME TWOISSUE EIGHT02 .2 1.13
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Rachel Landon Lights up the Brauntex! Interview - Page 7
Rachel Landon Lights up the Brauntex! Interview - Page 7
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table of contents1st Word
Mike gets called fat and ugly. Jerry Ford gets reminded why
we love him.
7
3
Being BubbaOn sammiches.
5
14
11
The County ’sMost WantedLook, mommy! Daddy’s in the paper!
Ask a MexicanGustavo of fends in two languages.
8
13
Citizen SoundcheckThe ONLY guide of i ts kind for
the NB/SM Metroplex!
Advice from Uncle Esel
Got a problem? You will.
The Beer HunterWhen Mitchell drinks, we all learn something.
15Best of the Wurst BallotVoting is open! Remember what happened the last t ime you didn’t vote…
InterviewRachel Landon puts up with our questions.
DiversionsSooner or later you’re going to get sick of l ive music…
6Sports
We cover a trifecta of testosterone fueled, estrogen enhanced, �ercely
contested competitions
10
LettersStuf f to do. Go do stuf f.
CalendarPraise for Colby. Not so much for Scooter Store execs.
City Manager ScorecardA TX Citizen special feature.
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Hate MailThere are two reasons to read this column: 1) To find out just what the City’s government is up to, and 2) To read the hate mail we get from the people whose lives are affected by that exposure. Today is a hate mail day, and boy, did Christmas come early this year!
You might remember Mark McGonigal. He was the guy that pretty much headed up the opposition to the City’s disposable container ban and who founded the predecessor to the TX Citizen, the now out-of-print NB Citizen. McGonigal moved to Austin around October of last year, and got married sometime in December. So when I got an envelope with “A Wedding Announcement from Mark and Jamie, Austin, TX”, I thought it was just that.
It was not.What it was, was a greeting card with a
photo of a rather upset baby on the front of it, and the original, factory printed message inside glued over with new text. That new text read:
My immediate reaction was, “That’s the worst wedding announcement ever”. Then I realized that, you know, it probably wasn’t a wedding announcement at all, and that the person who sent it might be insulting me. I checked the address on the envelope again. Yep. The sender did indeed address it directly to me.
Let’s run the message down for accuracy:
“Nobody loves me, everybody disrespects me”
I have no idea where the author came up with this. Granted,
I’m hated by what I consider to be all the right people – the criminals and elites and their boot licking underlings
both within and without the City’s government. But they are
a tiny minority of NB’s population. Everybody else is glad to see me when I show up at a bar or chili cookoff, to the point where it’s kind of embarrassing. Lots of love out there, and, just like the hate, from all the right people. The people that I respect.
“Waaaa…..waaaa I can’t make this German town / Into a swinging Austin or porn haven Las Vegas”
Aha - now we’re getting somewhere. First of all, this is what I heard from an actual German when this came up: “Neu Braunfels ist etwa so Deutsch eine stadt wie Taco Bell ist ein Mexikanisches Restaurant.“
And second, the card was written by someone who read my piece about the downtown food court, and who clearly opposed it for exactly the reasons I pointed out. (See The War on Cool at txcitizen.com/Archive - February 7 Edition)
“I’m such a wize ass, violent tempered, porn brain, / Twisted, ugly, fat sicko…..maybe I should just / Move back to where I fit in.”
Ugly! How dare you, madam. And yeah, while the letter could have originated with a doughy, white-haired man with delightfully cheery gin blossomed features, we are fairly certain it came from an unhinged, elderly female, given that they mailed at least two more of these “wedding announcements” to other targets, and they all just seem… catty. I have agreed not to reveal who the other recipients are or what their letters said, pending a criminal investigation.
I will say this – one of them was signed “Your Local DA”. I know, as a journalist I’m automatically supposed to ask World’s Hottest District Attorney Jennifer Tharp if she sent the letter. I’m just going to go out on a limb here and guess that she did not. Chalk my inaction up to media bias, if you must.
Continued on next page.
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Continued from previous page. The sender also included a copy of the “Most Wanted” column we run as a courtesy
to Comal County Crime Stoppers, with a few slight modifications – they pasted over the existing mugshots with photos of Schiltterbahn owner Jeff Henry, District One Councilman Richard Zapata, community activists Mark McGonigal and Kim Maikoetter, and of course, me, in full prison regalia. They love that shot.
Anyway, I just want to point out that although I am not loved or respected by a vocal minority of NB residents, that their love and respect are reserved for millionaire lobbyists that live off of corporate welfare provided to them by the local taxpayers, and felons convicted of doing business with a terrorist state. I was kind of worried I’d never get a chance to bring up the whole Jerry Ford, (said felon), making millions of dollars selling supplies to Libya, (terrorist state), scandal again, but this letter totally gave me the opening.
Hey, didn’t Libyans shoot down a big old jet airliner over Scotland and more recently storm our embassy over there and kill, (and possibly sodomize), our ambassador? Yep. That’s Libya alright. Good customers.
My friends go to work for what they have - they don’t plunder the public treasury for it. They don’t do business with terrorists. They don’t use the United States Postal Service to anonymously harass people. They drink beer and hang out in places with live music and greasy hamburgers. I like them better. I love and respect them, in fact.
\m/Mike ReynoldsPublisher/Editor-in-Chief
PS: If anybody has a mug shot of Jerry Ford, for a god’s sake send it in.
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All typographical/grammatical errors are the responsibility of the authors of their respective letters, and not hilarious mistakes on the part of TX Citizen staff. Letters may be edited for length or libel. Send yours to [email protected].
As a former employee of the Scooter Store I must say reading the latest article had me smiling ear to ear. I love how the current employees like to “defend” the company that pays the bills not because they do not agree with the article but because they are afraid to get FIRED! I could not of asked for a better late Christmas present! :) The whole company is corrupt and the shadiness involved was so disgusting that if you even knew what is behind the scenes it would make you quiver with disgust. This is just the insurance, check into the cash sales department....im sure you can tack on millions onto the already painfully high amount they have ripped off from not only the insurance company but the little old men and women who saved up for equipment that didnt last them 3 months. Ouch! Love the article, keep it coming! Its about time someone “Cowboy’d Up” and started slaying this beast. Just make sure you add Jack Lucas to that pie as well.
Mike S.
Dear Editor, RE: Kelly Colby “Ceiling Our Fate” - I commend Kelly on the well rounded,
well thought out and informative article but as a long time political hack, since the Vietnam War, as usual, the devil is in the details.
Now I am a yellow dog democrat, admittedly and I realize that in and of itself opens me up to all kinds of vulnerabilities, especially in these parts. But the Democrats I have voted for of late proposed a $4.2 trillion dollar deficit reduction over the next ten years. $1.2 trillion seems what is most acceptable to most from both sides. To the contrary, we democrats are very interested in spending cuts, but just the right ones.
Now cuts to aid programs such as food stamps unemployment benefits and such are unpopular to democrats because we believe that millionaire landowners who get hundred thousand dollar agricultural subsidies, whether they grow anything or not should be considered for cuts also. Even those on fancy, free Scooters.
As a rule, having helped spread the wealth across the border in Mexico in the ‘60s and ‘70s, not to mention the “cultural exchange”, when it was still considered safe to do so, children here don’t beg in the streets for food and money or offer their mothers up for some “exchange” for survival. I credit these programs for our “exceptionalism” in this regard. It’s those who have secured many generations worth of wealth that should get off the public dole and there are lots of them.
But having recommended 535 large burlap bags for the large water hole out front indicates that you are non-partisan in your approach. This informed approach trumps partisanship any day of the week, especially those days that end in Y.
Jerry
In regards to the down town food court that was voted down by the city council. Guess what, there is another one that was approved sometime last year. It is located on HY 46S about a mile from I35 and a mile from Clear Springs. Its exact location is across HY 46 from fire station 6 and Tooth Time dental. It’s called Moose’s food court. The land has been cleared and a sign is up. It is located in an area I call a death trap.
There is a traffic light there but it is for traffic on HY 46 which most people ignore, especially the 18 wheelers and belly dumps. There is really no safe exit without pulling out into traffic. I wrote to my councilman and asked that he and the city council take a look at what they approved. No response. Supposedly they will have live entertainment and I saw in the paper they applied for a liquor license. I’m not opposed to a food court, just where it’s located. At least they will have EMS across the street.
Hugh
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FUN FISHW.O.R.D. will be hosting its 17th Annual Fun Fish event on Sunday,
February 24, from noon to 4pm at Camp Huaco Springs on River Road.This year’s event will feature free food, t-shirts and lots of giveaways.
Prizes this year include trophies for the longest fish caught, medals, and $25 instant cash prizes for catching a tagged fish. Loaner fishing poles are available on a first come first serve basis, so bring your own if you have one.
Registration is on the day of the event For more information, contact the WORD office at (830) 907-2300.
GREAT LEGS SHOWFriends of Communities in Schools along with the Vineyard at Gruene
will be presenting the “Great Legs Style Show” on Tuesday, February 26 from 6 to 9pm The public is invited to meet and help these community leaders secure votes before the culminating event, Rock ‘n’ Roll for Kids on March 2.
The contestants will be strutting their stuff in a “themed” ensemble that they’ve designed. Paul McLaughlin will be MCing the night’s events. All proceeds from the voting will go to Communities in Schools, the largest dropout prevention organization in the nation. For more information on the contestants, Rock ‘n’ Roll for Kids, or Communities in Schools, go to www.cis-sct.org.
GOT AN EVENT TO PROMOTE? We’ll get the word out for you!
Send the details to [email protected].
CALENDAR
CITY MANAGER SCORECARDOn February 25, New Braunfels City Council will begin the process of renewing City Manager Michael Morrison’s contract with the City, or start looking for a new candidate to �ll his post. To help them make that dif�cult decision, we’ve collected a few facts that we �nd relevant:
CITY’S DEBT Pre-Morrison: $43 Million Today: $134 Million
A $91 million increase over seven years.
CITY’S MONEY IN THE BANK Pre-Morrison: $43 Million Today: $25 Million
An $18 million decrease over seven years.
TOTAL FISCAL IMPACT OF MORRISON TENURE
-$109 million over seven years (not including pending lawsuit judgments or settlements).
We fully expect a rubber stamp approval of Mr Morrison’s new contract.
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Mere hours after the belt sander races concluded, Jordan Minor hosted the Happy Cow’s Second Annual Moustache and Beard Competition, with follicle enthusiast Wol�e walking away with the overall championship.
Another record-breaking crowd came out at the Happy Cow’s belt sander races last Saturday, with the near-invincible Team TCB, (left), once again bringing home the gold in the modi�ed division, and Team Bare Bones, (right), dominating the stock category.
WINNER!
FACIAL SPORTS
Oma Gruene’s 3rd Annual Chili Cook-Off was an off-the-hook success, with nine teams going head-to-head-to-head-to-head-to-head-to-head-to-head-to-head-to-head for top honors at the event, which this year bene�ted the Keith Pevoto Texas Fight Fund.
Patty Burns came in �rst, winning not only the 2013 title but a full year of bragging rights over her husband Chris, who placed third. Ron Haluzan’s bowl o’ red placed second on the day.
These people did not win, despite their good looks.
The judges for 2013 were, left to right: Former New Braunfels Mayor Stoney Williams, former KNBT morning personality John Payne, and former KNBT newscaster, current TX Citizen publisher, and future New Braunfels Mayor, Mike Reynolds.
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This Friday and Saturday, actress Rachel Landon takes the stage at the Brauntex for a three-performance run of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Tell Me on a Sunday. We caught up with Landon shortly after she arrived back in Texas after a stint in Alaska.
TX Citizen: First things first. What were you doing in Alaska?
Rachel Landon: While I was living in New York City I actually got a job at Perseverance Theatre in Juneau, playing Mrs. Walker in The Who’s Tommy. It was my dream role, and the gig lasted about three months. After that I kept getting work in Alaska, either in the theatre or working in the tourist industry.
For four summers I gave tours as a costumed character. She was a gold rush era “Madam” named Ella Vagutyme. It was a fun job and usually worked around other acting gigs I was doing. I recently finished the World Premier of Bigfoot and Other Lost Souls, with music by Mark Hollman, who is one of the writers of Urinetown. I really fell in love with Alaska, and it goes to show that theatre can be done anywhere.
TX Citizen: You’ve done quite a bit of regional theater around the country. How long have you been acting and what eventually brought you to Texas?
Landon: I grew up in Houston, which provided for a wonderful childhood. My parents took me to many shows while I was growing up… some of the best theatre in the country. I feel that Texas has a fantastic culture that supports theatre on so many levels. Everything from our regional houses that put on Broadway shows, to community theatre… blackbox productions that can put on Hamlet with five dollars and a cardboard box. Houston has a community that supports that, and I feel that Texas does at large.
I’ve been acting since I was about 7 years old. We lived in Oklahoma and my parents were very good about trying different
extracurricular activities. For me and my brother, theatre just stuck with us, and we both went to college for it. I went to the University of Evansille in Indiana, and from there moved to New York City. After that I found myself traveling for work. I’ve been a bit of a gypsy in my professional career, but I find myself coming back to Houston a lot because of the artistic experience there. My father actually created Standing Room Only Productions, the company that is producing Tell Me On a Sunday, and we have had great success in Houston with the projects we have done there.
TX Citizen: Most audiences are quite familiar with Andrew Lloyd Webber’s huge production shows, but may not be as familiar with Tell Me on a Sunday, his follow-up to Evita. Without giving anything away, what’s the show about?
Landon: Interestingly, Webber was originally going to write this with Tim Rice, who was his writing partner on Evita. Rice had the idea of the one act play featuring only one woman. Don Black came on board and together with Webber they decided to write about a young Englishwoman who travels to New York to build a new life for herself. Being in the theatre, they knew many women like this.
Eventually this character was named Emma. She searches for love, a career, and a way to define herself in the Big Apple. Emma is addicted to being in love, and that’s the adventure of the show, one that I think many people will be familiar with. In fact, it’s a story that I feel like I lived. I became familiar with this show when I was living in New York after a bad break up. Emma meets several different men through the course of the show, and she tries to define herself through those relationships. This is a pretty universal story. Shakespeare did it and so did the writers for Sex in the City. But I think people will find Emma’s search for love and meaning to be unique in its own way.
TX Citizen: You were cast as Petra in a college production of A Little Night Music. Now that you’ve sung in shows from both Sondheim and Lloyd Webber, which would you describe as the tougher composer?
Landon: Oh they are both so difficult in different ways! They are the two men that have defined modern musical theatre. I’ve done a few shows from both songwriters and although I love the difficulty and depth of Sondheim’s music, and he is definitely my favorite when it comes to the musicals themselves, Tell Me On a Sunday has been one of the toughest musicals I’ve ever learned. The music is constantly switching time signatures. When you hear the music sung by another person, it seems like a piece of cake, but reading the music was a challenge.
TX Citizen: What are some of the roles you’ve got your eyes on for the future?
Landon: I would love to play The Witch in Into The Woods. That was another role made famous by Bernadette Peters. She played Emma in the original Broadway production of Tell Me On a Sunday. I’ve worked with the Urinetown writers a couple of times now, but I’ve never done Urinetown, and I would LOVE to play Penny in that show. I also have a soft spot for Shakespeare, and I would hope to play Rosalind in As You Like It someday.
TX Citizen: Will this be your first trip to New Braunfels?
Landon: Yes! And I am stoked to explore the area! Everyone I’ve talked to loves the place.
TX Citizen: What is your superpower?Landon: I’m a big nerd. Like a Wikipedia
of nerdy information. My superpower is rattling off trivia until my nemeses are bored to death.
TX Citizen: Thank you, Rachel.Landon: Thank you!
The curtain rises on Tell Me On a Sunday on Friday, February 22 at 7:30pm, and again on Saturday, February 23 at 2pm and 7:30pm. Tickets are available at the Brauntex box office or by calling 830-627-0808.
INTERVIEW: RACHEL LANDONINTERVIEW: RACHEL LANDON
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Thu 2.21Black Whale Pub
Blues Buzzards9pm
Dirty’s Bar & QSteven Roloff8pm
Freiheit Country Store50’s/60’s Country Open Mic6pm
Oma Gruene’s Secret GartenJam Night w/ Adam Johnson6pm
Phoenix SaloonJames Pardo5pm
Riley’s TavernJeff Smithart9pm
Adobe VerdeGarrett Heinrichs8pm
AJ’s Ale HouseRock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show9pm
Billy’s Ice HouseRoadside Libby8pm
Cheatham Street WarehouseK Phillips & the Concho Pearls9pm
Gruene HallJamie Wilson Trio6pm
On The Half Shell Oyster BarJosh Holden9pm
River Road Ice HouseJoe Teichman8pm
Triple CrownJoel Hofmann Band6pmThose Nights, Emily Bell, Summer Swells, Three Leaf10pm
Uptown Piano BarAshley Stone8pm
Fri 2.22Dirty’s Bar & Q
TBA8pm
The Happy CowTBA8pm
Oma Gruene’s Secret GartenVagabonds6pm
Phoenix SaloonLucas Taylor5pmDJ B.Read - Two Handfuls of Funk9pm
Riley’s TavernJWW & The Prospectors9pm
Adobe VerdeDry River Religion8pm
AJ’s Ale HouseRock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show9pm
Billy’s Ice HouseDean Seltzer8pm
Black & Tan PubAntiquity, Lethal Smut, Giant Salvania8pm
Cheatham Street WarehouseMike Beck Bandw/ Tessy Lou & the Shotgun Stars9pm
Gruene HallBob Schneiderw/ William Clark Green8pm, $22
On The Half Shell Oyster Bar3 Man Front9pm
River Road Ice HouseBubba Westly & the Interstate Heartbreakw/ LC Rocks8pm
Tavern in the GrueneMonty “Guitar” Tyler8pm
Triple CrownPepper’s Blues6pmThe Pitolsmiths, The Beaumonts10pm, $6
Uptown Piano BarBarry Adams8pm
Vino en VerdeIsis The Voice8pm
Vineyard at GrueneSarah McSweeney7pm
Sat 2.23Black Whale Pub
Adam Johnson & the Pay Me’s9pm
The Happy CowTBA8pm
Oma Gruene’s Secret GartenThe Blue Bucks1pmThe Headhunters6pm
Phoenix SaloonRodney Hayden Band9pm, $5
Riley’s TavernDeuce Coupe9pm
Adobe VerdeThe Knowhow8pm
AJ’s Ale HouseRock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show9pm
Billy’s Ice HouseCameran Nelson8pm
Black & Tan PubWaves of Fear, Concrucio,Pushmen, Indisgust8pm
Cheatham Street WarehouseAdam Hoodw/ Courtney Patton9pm
Gruene HallFlat Top Jones1pmCooder Graww/ Casey Berry9pm, $12
River Road Ice HousePoor J Brown8pm
Tavern in the GrueneBackwater Blvd9pm
Texas Music TheaterBig K.R.I.T.8pm, $22
Triple CrownHooka Hey, Ghosts of Dixie,Forever Town, Giant Salvinia9pm, $5
Uptown Piano BarJohn Maclean8pm
Vino en VerdeTwo Rivers Trio9pm
Vineyard at GrueneJeff Wood7pm
Sun 2.24Oma Gruene’s Secret Garten
Adam Johnson & the Pay Me’s2pm
Phoenix SaloonAl Barlow2pmThe Tombstone Bullies7pm
Adobe VerdeAllan Goodman8pm
Billy’s Ice HouseJonathan Garcia7pm
Gruene HallSlim Bawb12pmHarry Bodinew/ John Magnie & Steve Amedee4pm
River Road Ice HouseChris King8pm
CITIZEN SOUNDCHECK
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CITIZEN SOUNDCHECKFri 2.22
Antone’sOld 97’s
w/ Salim Nourallah
8pm, $SOLD OUT
The Continental ClubClub Lineup:
The Blues Specialists, 6:30pm
The Whiskey Sisters, 10pm, $10
Mercy Brothers, 12am
Gallery Lineup:
The Robert Kraft Trio, 8:30pm
The Mike Flanigin Trio, 10:30pm, $5
Floore’s Country StoreWhiskey Myers
w/ Brison Bursey
8pm, $15
Red Eyed FlyGo Go Beats
w/ Hustle Hard Mobb, Dat Boy Supa,
A.C., J Ramsey
8:30pm, Outside
Sam’s Burger JointRiff House Review 2013
Pop Pistol, Quiet Company,
K Phillips & the Concho Pearls
w/ The Kinfolk, Joanna Barbera,
The Fishermen
7pm, $10
Stetson BarMario Flores & Soda Creek Band
9:30pm
Stubb’s BBQRonnie Fauss
w/ Shawn Nelson & the Good Buds,
Greg Mullen & the Cosmic American Band
9pm, Inside, $8
Thirsty Horse SaloonChilton Vance Band
8pm
Sat 2.23
Antone’sPapa Grows Funk
Honey Island Swamp Band
8pm, $13-$100
The Continental ClubClub Lineup:
Red Volkaert, 3:30pm
Bruce Robison & Kelly Willis, 10pm, $23
Two Hoots & a Holler, 12am
Gallery Lineup:
Scarlet Olsen, 8:30pm
The Mike Flanigin Trio, 10:30, $5
Cowboy’s Dance HallCasey Donahew Band
7pm, $10 21+, $20 18-20
Floore’s Country StoreBrandon Rhyder
w/ Curtis Grimes
8pm, $15
Red Eyed FlyTequila Trio, Zack Willard
9:30pm, Inside
Glow in the Sun
w/ The Pale Blue Dot, The Transporters,
Righteous Brisket, Stampede Mesa
8:30pm, Outside
Sam’s Burger JointJon Dee Graham
w/ Mike June
8pm, $10
Stetson BarJosh Peek
9:30pm
Stubb’s BBQJukebox the Ghost
w/ Matt Pond, Lighthouse & the Whaler
7pm, Inside, $13
Thirsty Horse SaloonShawn Allen & the ‘Bout Time Band
8pm
Tavern in the GrueneAllan Goodman, Kris Farrow, Matt Briggs8pm
Mon 2.25Riley’s Tavern
Songwriter Showcase w/ John Whipple
Billy’s Ice HouseCold Snap10pm
Gruene HallBret Graham6pm
River Road Ice HouseEmpty Handed Vagabonds8pm
Tavern in the GrueneCourt Nance & Friends8pm Triple CrownManzy Lowry Band6pmChief & TheDoomsdayDevice10pm
Tues 2.26The Happy Cow
TBA8pm
Riley’s TavernPaula Aubert9pm
Billy’s Ice HouseAustin Gilliam, Andy Evans & The Brotherhood,Manzy Lowry Band8:00pm
Cheatham Street WarehouseWill Arrington Bandw/ Brett Hauser Band8pm
Gruene HallTom Gillam & Friends6pm
Tavern in the GrueneRoots & Branches of Americana7pmThe Blooms9:30pm
Triple CrownJo Beth Henderson6pmJesse Dalton, Ben Worley,Ben Patterson, Ryan McGillicuddy9pm
Vineyard at GrueneBig Daddy Dean6pm
Watering Hole SaloonVagabonds del Sol8:30pm
Wed 2.27Buffalo Wings & Rings
Steven Roloff & Friends7:30pm
Riley’s TavernMike Ethan Messick9pm
Billy’s Ice HouseKyle Reed Band8pm
Cheatham Street WarehouseKent Finlay’s Songwriters Circle9pm
Gruene HallThe Georges6pm
River Road Ice HouseEmpty Handed Vagabonds8pm
Triple CrownTony Taylor6pmZack Kibodeaux Music, Dry River Religion9pm, $5
Uptown Piano BarJohn Maclean8pm
Vineyard at GrueneBig Daddy Dean6pm
Watering Hole SaloonAllan Goodman8:30pm
SOUND TOWNOUTOF
BROUGHT TO YOU BY
10 AD SALES 830.483.9563
By Gustavo Arellano
Dear Mexican: In the past, you
have defended illegal immigrants by
arguing that they (paraphrasing one of
your previous columns) will do the jobs
gabachos won’t do for the same wages.
I agree. I have a white-collar job, so
I’m totally content to benefit from
the low prices brought about by an
uneducated underclass unprotected
by American labor laws, content in the
knowledge that no Mexican will ever
take mi trabajo.
But now this DREAM Act comes
along, encouraging them to go to
college, and my job’s up for grabs, too?
I already have enough competition
from the Chinese and the Indians! What
possible benefit could this legislation
have for a guy like me? (And you know
they’re just going to spend 95 percent
of their time in school chanting “Sí, se
puede” anyway.)
NIGHTMARE Act Is More Like It
Dear Gabacho: I’d rather have college
kids chant “Sí se puede” than joining a
pointless fraternity/sorority or getting blotto
at said pointless fraternity/sorority parties.
All that said, though, you don’t have to worry
about DREAMers taking your job—you’ll
continue to have your middle-class lifestyle
as these DREAMers catapult over you and
become your boss, because they all possess
the drive, ambition, and talent that gabachos
used to exhibit in college before it became
finishing schools for high schoolers. Better
learn how to grovel to el jefe in English and
Español, chulo!
I have noticed that Mexican
women will put up with being called a
ruca, heina, vieja, “my old lady,” and
even sometimes go culinary like, “My
little pupusa,” or chimichanga. BUT
when you call her a “torta”, you are in
one major fight. Why? What is so bad
about tortas?
Don One-liners
Dear Gabacho: You’re calling her “fat,” because tortas are fat Mexican sandwiches made on French rolls. Want to culinarily woo her? Go old-school and call her a “hot tamale,” or go postmodern and deem her your memela—TRUST ME.
Sometimes when I’m eating a burrito, the bottom end becomes saturated with moisture and the tortilla breaks and stuff falls out. Is this the result of a lack of burrito-eating skill, an improperly-made burrito, or just the way it’s supposed to be?
Chipotle ChingÓn
Dear Neighbor of Mexicans: Don’t be a Mexican and accept the world the way it’s supposed to be, ESPECIALLY the art of burrito. Gabachos are so clueless that they think burritos are supposed to vomit out their contents like a coed in pre-narco Acapulco—¡que pendejos! A true burritos is an immaculate cylindrical god, wrapped up as tight as bacon around a hot dog, its structure so sound that you can throw it through the air like a spiral and it won’t explode.
This isn’t even a question of size, of beans and rice erupting out of the flour tortilla because there’s simply nowhere else to go: the largest burritos on Earth are those made in the Mission District in San Francisco (where Chipotle’s founder found his “inspiration” for the chain’s burritos), where the Mission burrito is a way of life, larger than bricks, wrapped tight in foil, and never exploding (and a shout-out to my favorite taquería—that’s what burrito emporiums are called in San Francisco—in the Mission, El Castillito!).
If a burrito gets so soggy at the bottom that it disintegrates, then the maker either put too much salsa/guacamole/sour cream in it, or the meat’s so damn greasy it’s not worth eating. If your burrit,o disintegrates, demand a refund—or, better yet, sue the business owner for defaming the burrito’s good nombre.
MOST WANTED
$200REWARD
COMAL COUNTY ’S
JACKSON,GARY BERNARDMale • 5’10” • 175 lbsDOB: 05/09/1983CHARGE: Injury child/elderly/disable with intentionally bodily injury
LEON,FILIMONMale • 5’06” • 160 lbsDOB: 07/22/1980CHARGE: Fail to stop and render aid
ORTIZ,DANIELMale • 5’08” • 200 lbsDOB: 05/21/1972CHARGE: Failure to appear for possession of a controlled substance
MOTT,JAMES LOUISMale • 5’07” • 220 lbsDOB: 10/14/1961CHARGE: Motion to revoke probation for intoxicated assault with vehicle SBI
GARCIA, ALEJANDRO JUAREZMale • 5’06” • 182 lbsDOB: 03/15/1978CHARGE: Failure to appear, Motion to proceed with adjudication for possession of a controlled substance
RAMIREZ,JACOB
Male • 6’00” • 180 lbsDOB: 04/28/1974
CHARGE: Motion to revoke probation for
possession of a controlled substance
SERRANO,RICARDO RICKY
Male • 5’06” • 165 lbsDOB: 02/17/1986
CHARGE: Failure to appear for theft of a
firearm and unlawful possession of a firearm
by a felon
VANCE,ALBERT
Male • 5’10” • 162 lbsDOB: 07/15/1953
CHARGE:Motion to revoke probation for driving while intoxi-cated 3rd or more
VANN,JOSEPH DERRICK
Male • 5’10” • 250 lbsDOB: 09/24/1977
CHARGE: Motion to revoke for possession
of a controlled substance
TAPIA-VILLA,OSCAR
Male • 5’09” • 135 lbsDOB: 06/06/1986
CHARGE: Failure to appear for burglary
of building
The names listed have been released in accordance with the Texas Public Information Act Code 552.001 st.seq.annotated Public Record and Information disclosure statues. This is a true and accurate account as of Friday, February 15, 2013 at 3:30 pm and may not be current by the time it is read. Do not try to apprehend anyone. For anonymous tips and rewards, please contact Crime Stoppers at: 24-Hour Phone number 830.620.3400; Mon-Fri 8am to 5pm 830.620.3411. These are listings of criminal warrants with the Sheriff’s Office and are not indicative of guilt or innocence. Officers are to verify the status of each warrant prior to making an arrest. Any person is innocent of wrongdoing unless proven guilty in a court of law.
FOR INFORMATION LEADING TO THE ARREST OF COMAL COUNTY’S MOST WANTED. Callers will remain anonymous. 830.620.3400 - 24-Hour830.620.3411 - Mon-Fri 8am to 5pm
-ARREST
ED-
-ARREST
ED-
Ask the Mexican at [email protected], be his fan on Facebook, follow him on Twitter @gustavoarellano or ask him a video question at youtube.
com/askamexicano!
ASK A MEXICAN!
!
10 AD SALES 830.483.9563 TXCITIZEN.COM 11
Uncle Esel,I seen alot of people complain about
tourists not knowing how to drive the plaza circle. Is there really a set of rules for that? I’ve lived here for over a decade and I’m not even sure that I do it right.
Thanks,Greg
Dear Greg,That circle is essentially a roundabout
which is an intersection traffic control technique used heavily in other parts of the world, especially in countries that have ties to the UK.
In a roundabout, the entering traffic always yields to the traffic that is already in the roundabout. The proper method is to use the inside lane until you are exiting. When exiting on a roundabout like ours, you would only use the outside lane if you are exiting in the next quarter turn, for example, you entered coming down Seguin Street and wanted to turn right onto San Antonio Street heading to Schlitterbahn, then you would only enter the outside lane. If however, you wanted to go left towards Walnut and see the lack of work crews on the San Antonio Street project you would use the inside lane for two-thirds of the way and then after passing the beautiful new-old courthouse, you would move into the outside lane and exit.
The one time idea of reducing it to a single lane was an absurd way to handle the fact that no one knows how to use it unless they lived in England or Australia. In America as in other countries, there are some striping and directional arrow schemes that more clearly show people how to use it, but the city doesn’t use them. Of course one reason they don’t - how would they justify rebuilding the fountain and statues every other year?
Love, K
Dear Uncle Esel,Any word on that bank robber
dressed as a woman? I saw that they caught someone nearby who also dressed in women’s clothing. Everytime I read about a bank robbery I remember that line about some famous bank robber who was asked why he robbed banks and he said, because that’s where the money is.
Jay
Dear Jay,Willie Sutton was the famous bank-robber
that is credited with uttering the phrase, “Because that’s where the money is”, when purportedly asked why he was committing the bank robberies.
Sutton would eventually go on to write a couple of books and even appear in a commercial touting a bankcard for a Connecticut bank, but Sutton always denied that he ever uttered the phrase and claimed that some reporter made it up just to fill space in a story and sell newspapers. Makes you wonder about some of the things you read in other papers (besides the TX Citizen which has an anti-fluff policy). Sutton did say that he
robbed banks because he enjoyed it, but Esel thinks our cross-dressing bandit robs banks in order to better accessorize.
Apparently the vogue thing is to cross-dress and rob banks, because the robber captured recently was not our own he-she, it was another cross-dresser who is a different height and build than ours (cup size?) So far it appears that our robber has given the slip to our local boys in blue... and their tank.
Love, K
My man Uncle Esel,What is the deal with our city? Why
would we build a recreation center and pool out in the middle of nowhere? Why do they need one big fancy pool instead of building a couple of smaller ones out in the neighborhoods? With the empty Scooter Store building and the empty old Safeway, couldn’t a recreation center be put into one of them?
Thanks,Jake
Dear JakeUncle Esel has asked a few people about
that rec center and really the best answer he hears from the business community is that the city wants to showcase it out in the Creekside area. Esel doesn’t understand why there would be a natatorium (indoor pool) and a rec center with a pool on the same side of town. I guess our fine city leaders aren’t good with maps.
The idea about building scattered small pools seem like a good idea, but most cities have moved away from that because it multiplies the costs of operations and spreads staff thin. Many cities like Austin have closed many smaller pools and concentrated on larger regionally placed pools.
Your idea of using existing vacant buildings is an intriguing one that hasn’t been mentioned much in public meetings. What with the possible pending demise of the Scooter Store and their vacating of the old Kroger and with the tax revenue reducing move of Target to Creekside, there is abundant space that could fill in as an interim facility until such time as tax revenues go up without raising peoples tax rates. Heck, the old Albertsons has a high roof that would accommodate a game of basketball or volleyball. Gauging from the advancing age and expanding waistlines of City Council, maybe much thought is not really devoted to issues of recreation and fitness. Perhaps if we called it a sanatorium and gin playing facility it would finally get done right.
Love, K
ADVICE FROM
UNCLE ESEL
Uncle K. Esel is a lifetime resident of our fair city, and is well known for his sage advice on a wide range of topics. If you find yourself perplexed with no one to turn to, send your question to Uncle Esel at: [email protected]. Be sure to write “Question for Uncle Esel” in the subject line of your email.
ASK A MEXICAN!
Located in the heart of downtown New Braunfels, the Historic Faust Hotel & Brewing Company is a one-stop destination offering a variety of House Brews, Full Bar and Tapas-Style Menu, and Redesigned Guestrooms, Suites, and Event Center, which feature 1920’s Art Deco design while incorporating modern amenities.
Your One-Stop DestinationHouse Brews, Full Bar and Beer Inspired Menu
Find us240 South Seguin Ave. | Downtown New Braunfels
(830) 625-7791 | www.FaustBrewing.com
NOW OPEN FOR LUNCH!Friday, Saturday & Sunday
Open at 4pm Mon-Thurs & 12pm Fri-Sun
JOIN US FOR Trivia Night Every Thursday
12 AD SALES 830.483.9563 TXCITIZEN.COM 13
The Brauntex TheatreFebruary 22 at 7:30 pm
February 23 at 2:00 pm & 7:30 pm290 West San Antonio Street
New Braunfels, TX 78130Tickets: 830.627.0808 or www.brauntex.org
“Rachel Landon brings Tell Me on a Sunday to vibrant life... Engaging, powerful.” Jim Tommaney-Houston Press
TXCITIZEN.COM 13
Tommyknocker Brewing Co’s Maple Nut Brown Ale
There’s a trend in all things consumable these days, and very likely in entertainment as well, an insatiable need for more and more stimulation in the form of complexity. Take a look at your average recipe-swap on the internet, and you’ll find that the ones that garner the most attention are the ones that shove as many flavors together as possible: Cranberry pomegranate green tea buttercream ganache cupcakes with coconut lemon basil frosting. Cherry chocolate Dr. Pepper marinated pulled pork with aged, roasted, and pureed serrano, chipotle, jokola, habanero, jalapeno, shoshito, hatch, and bell peppers. Snickerdoodle cookie dough and birthday cake batter ice cream, peanut butter and jelly ice cream, and cayenne dark chocolate truffle and Earl Grey tea ice cream Neopolitan sandwich on oatmeal bacon salted caramel cookies.
Why am I proving my own point wrong by describing such seemingly delicious food?
Imagine a musical super team-up of Freddie Mercury, Jimi Hendrix, Elton John, Nirvana, and Yo Yo Ma. Could be amazing, right? Unless Freddy and Elton were playing the guitar, Jimi was on drums, Nirvana was a flugelhorn section, and Yo Yo Ma was the leading vocalist. This may be a bit of an extreme example, but the fact is that so many of these recipes are coming from people who MIGHT not be the best judge of these things. There’s an ‘event horizon’ of complexity in all things, and putting every pepper you can name in or just loading on as many combinations is a sure fire way to make it all taste like a mush.
We learned the basics of this in kindergarten; mixing all the paints together doesn’t make rainbow paint, it makes deuce-brown. Combined with the battle call of “More bacon!”, there’s much to dodge out there for this reason.
Thankfully, this is a trend that has hit beer minimally. There have been certain transgressors (I’m looking at you, Maple Bacon Voodoo Doughnut!), but the serious connoisseurs have universally reviled them.
Some, however, skirt this universality and can be very polarizing. Tommyknocker’s Maple Nut Brown Ale is one of these beers, and taking a look at the big-two review sites highlights this. BeerAdvocate.com gives it basically a C+, RateBeer.com an abysmal 33.
Now, in matters of this nature, I try to forget that Beer Advocate owner, Todd Alstrom, is one of the biggest douches on planet earth (something about Hurricane Sandy and Storm Nemo and terrible schadenfreude).
Generally I consult both, but my own experience puts me in the Rate Beer camp, (I also have to admit I really like their app), this beer is downright disappointing. As a brown ale it’s far too light-bodied, and as a nut brown ale it’s hardly nutty, but as a maple nut brown ale, well, you can taste SOMETHING like maple.
It’s just cloyingly sweet, like imitation maple breakfast syrup in a just passable brown ale. I’m not dissuaded from trying Tommyknocker’s other stuff (I hear the imperial maple nut brown ale is better, maybe), but this is one I won’t trifle with again.
THE
WITH MITCHELL WILBURN
Mitchell Wilburn is our resident bon vivant and arbiter of all things barley. Send your beer questions to him at [email protected].
PRICKLY PEAR LOUNGE
As always, we urge you to DRINK RESPONSIBLY
MONDAYStart Your Week Off Right
Do the PEAR!
TUESDAYOK, We're Here, Where Are You?
WEDNESDAYHump Day!
THURSDAYLadies Night/Karaoke
FRIDAYDJ KC
SATURDAYKaraoke/ Johnny V
SUNDAYMeanwhile,
BOCK at the Pear1051 N. IH-35 | 830-625-8017
BLACK WHALE PUB
Specializing in Belgian Beers
100 Import Beers
24 Beers on Tap
Live Entertainment
Full Bar
Pool Tables ◊ Darts
367 Main Plaza830-625-6605
NEW!Smoke free lounge upstairs!
HWY 46, 2 MILES PAST CLEAR SPRINGS
Lip Smackin', Finger Lickin', Award Winnin' South Texas
BBQ and a Cold Beer!
Tuesday - Ladies Night$2 You-Call-its for the Ladies
Wednesday - Steak NightKaraoke - 8pm
Thursday - Rib NightSteven Roloff and Friends - 8pm
FridayTBA - 8pm
Saturday - Karaoke 9pm"Where Texans Eat Dirty Good!"
GIT CHA SUMLip Smackin', Finger Lickin', Award Winnin' South Texas
BBQ and a Cold Beer!
Tuesday - Ladies Night$2 You-Call-its for the Ladies
Wednesday - Steak NightKaraoke - 8pm
Thursday - Rib NightSteven Roloff and Friends - 8pm
FridayTBA - 8pm
Saturday - Karaoke 9pm"Where Texans Eat Dirty Good!"
Parties/[email protected]
830-379-8883
GIT CHA SUM
14 TX CITIZEN 14 AD SALES 830.483.9563 TXCITIZEN.COM 15
My Favorite Sandwiches and Some that Explode
I suppose some might argue that a person
would have to be a writer before they could
suffer from writer’s block. Well I ain’t going to
argue that I’m much of a writer, but I try my
best to be a man of my word, and I promised
Mike Reynolds I would give him something to
put in this paper so here we go.
I’m hungry. Too hungry to think or type
right now so I need to come up with something
fast. Being hungry, I think I’ll give you my
thoughts on what I’d like to eat right now in
hopes of blasting through this writer’s block
thing and getting something to eat.
I’m thinking I’m hungry for a sandwich.
Where am I going to get one is the next
question that needs to be answered. Well, the
secret is about to be made public. I’m coming
out of the closet, (that was just a figure of
speech). I’m thinking I’ll go to Cravings.
I can’t believe I just typed that.
Cravings just doesn’t seem like the name
of a restaurant that you would hear of a Bubba
running off to. But it is good - I ain’t much of
a quiche eater so stop your snickering! As a
buddy of mine explained to me, quiche is just
a fancy word for “egg and spinach pie”, and
I wouldn’t be found dead eating any of that.
But one day while picking up some lunch
for my daughter I noticed a sandwich on the
menu named the Bob Wills. This is a man’s
sandwich and a meal any Bubba would be
proud to be seen eating.
It has a fried egg, bacon, ham, cheese
AND peanut butter and jelly smashed in
between two buns! The first thing I do is
take a bite and make sure I have peanut
butter and jelly dripping down my chin
and onto my shirt just so no one confuses
me with a quiche-eating Bubba. It’s hard
looking tough in that joint so a Bubba does
what a Bubba has to do.
I also am only a little ashamed to admit
that I am a fan of some cracker they always
give me that they call Firecrackers. Now I’m
gonna warn you that these little crackers are
actually like crack, and once you start eating
them you might not be able to stop.
I have developed a tried and true technique
for getting extra crackers at Cravings. I go
table to the table with PB&J dripping off my
chin and onto my shirt, and ask the quiche
eaters if they are going to eat theirs. It works
more times than it doesn’t. As a matter of fact,
most folks just give me a confused look as I
steal their Firecrackers. It doesn’t matter much
to me how I get them… they’re that good.
Cravings is located at 712 W San
Antonio Street here in New Braunfels. If
you ever see me in there, save us both the
embarrassment by just walking over to me
and coughing up your crackers.
I have some other sandwich
recommendations I’m going to give you from
my buddy, the Wrasslin’ Chef, El Puerco
Fuerta. It seems that the folks in Schertz who
run the CBQ Eatery let him play with his food
down there, and he has come up with some
items that any Bubba could eat in public
while holding his head high.
The first one I’m quite fond of is actually
a dessert sandwich and it shouldn’t be much
of a surprise to those who know me. Yup, it’s
the infamous deep fried MoonPie. Now let me
make one thing perfectly clear to you Yankee-
Little-Debbie-Imposter-MoonPie-loving fans;
a MoonPie is a sandwich. It’s a chocolate
covered marshmallow sandwich. I’m not sure
if El Puerco has made the deep fried MoonPie
available to the public yet, but I have had one.
El Puerco Fuerta won’t tell me what
his secret fried MoonPie batter is, but when
asked how long you were supposed to fry a
MoonPie, El Puerco told me with a straight
face, “until it explodes”.
Well if cooking anything until it explodes
is a technique, being a chef doesn’t sound
tricky. The only way I know when anything
is done is when it explodes. I listen carefully,
wait patiently, and watch out of the corner of
my eye for the explosion. Cooking timers are
for you cheaters and amateur chefs. You won’t
find one in my kitchen.
I have yet to try El Puerco’s newest creation
but I will soon, real soon. It is something called
a “Burned End Brisket Sandwich”, and as any
of my friends and future ex-wife at Coopers
BBQ will tell you, the burned end of the brisket
is my favorite part. Here is picture of El Puerco’s
creation. It’s a scratch n sniff pic so scratch and
sniff away. Trust me, nobody’s looking.
Go by CBQ and let me know what you
think. But be careful before you ask for the chef
and complain. As some of you may or may not
know, El Puerco cooks “Commando”, as he
says, and only wears a wrasslin’ mask while
he plies his trade. Everyone will be better off if
he stays in the kitchen.
The CBQ Bakery is located at 17327
IH-35 in Schertz. Tell them Bubba sent you.
And remember, do your best to make sure
the chef stays in the kitchen - his wrasslin’
mask don’t cover near enough of this
commando cooking chef!
Until next time…
Keepin it Real,
Bubba
With Bubba Norton
4ft, 6ft, 8ft Picnic Tables
1077 S. Seguin Ave., Corner of Seguin Ave. & Bus. 35 • 830-629-0755Store Hours: OPEN Mon. - Sat. 9:30 AM - 6 PM Sun.: 11 AM - 6 PM
with Detachable Benches
Expires 2/27/13
FREE LOCAL DELIVERYwith purchase,
must present coupon.
TXCITIZEN.COM 15
BEST OF THE
WURST 2013
TIME TO VOTE!
TURN IN YOUR BALLOT BYMONDAY, MARCH 4, AT 8AM!
INGESTIONBest Breakfast Tacos Los Gallos El Nopolito Granzin BBQ
Best Coffee Wake the Dead (San Marcos) Gruene Grind Co�ee Co. New Braunfels Co�ee Company
Best Mexican Adobe Cafe Cancun District One Councilman Richard Zapata
Best Burger The Happy Cow Phoenix Saloon Freiheit Country Store Faust Brewing Company
Best Pizza Bosses Pizza Valentino’s (San Marcos) Calahan’s New York Pizza Pub
Best BBQ Granzin BBQ Cooper’s BBQ Rudy’s BBQ
PEOPLE & PLACESBest Bar The Black Whale Pub Faust Brewing Company Prickly Pear Lounge Phoenix Saloon Sean Patrick’s (San Marcos) The Happy Cow The Old Ice House Bu�alo Wings and Rings
Best Bartender Janna – The Happy Cow Haley – Prickly Pear Lounge Brandie – Phoenix Saloon Teresa - Phoenix Saloon Hollie – The Black Whale Pub Tyler – Bu�alo Wings and Rings
Best Live Music Venue Phoenix Saloon Triple Crown (San Marcos) Oma Gruene’s Secret Garten
Best Place to Dance Gruene Hall Phoenix Saloon The Happy Cow
Best Make-Out Spot Phone Booth in Faust Hotel Lobby Phoenix Saloon Basement Bar Underground @ Oma Gruene’s Distribution Room – TX Citizen
Best Bier Garten Oma Gruene’s Secret Garten Friesenhaus Boho Bites
Favorite Local Band Javi Garcia + The CCG The Georges 3 Man Front Favorite Solo Act Daniel Thomas Phipps Claire Cunningham Lucas Taylor
DIVERSIONSBest Trivia Night The Happy Cow Faust Brewing Co. Bu�alo Wings and Rings
Best Karaoke Freiheit Country Store Prickly Pear Lounge The Happy Cow The Old Ice House
Best Local Event that Begins with “W” and Ends in “Fest” Wurstfest Wein and Sangerfest Wassailfest
INDUSTRYBest Tattoo Studio Body Expressions River Rat Tattoo Mystic Marks (San Marcos) Pan American Tattoo
Best Tourist Attraction Guadalupe River Outside City Limits Schilitterbahn Snake Farm Any NB City Council Meeting
Best Local Newspaper TX Citizen Herald-Zeitung (Disquali�ed - Houston Owned)
CIVICSMost Horrible Local Politician Currently Holding Of�ce District One Councilman Richard Zapata Precinct Three Commissioner Kevin Webb Mayor Gale Pospisil
Least Horrible Local Politician Currently Holding Of�ce Precinct Three Commissioner Kevin Webb District One Councilman Richard Zapata Mayor Gale Pospisil
Best Non-Of�ce Holding Public Figure Michael Meek Mike Reynolds Stoney Williams
Worst Non-Of�ce Holding Figure City Manager Michael Morrison Kathleen Krueger Bob Krueger Mike Reynolds
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Mandatory FieldsYour responses in this section will be used to better extract cash from your wallet:
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★★
TOYOTA CAMRY★
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TOYOTA TACOMA
WORTH THE WAIT. AND DEFINITELY WORTH THE DRIVE.
TOYOTA TUNDRA★
$ 245 A MONTH
$ 17,998OR
$ 275 A MONTH
$ 26,498OR
$ 155
$ 19,998OR
A MONTH
$ 145
$ 15,988OR
A MONTH
1NEW 2013 TACOMA REGULAR CAB, MODEL 7104, STOCK # DX018262. $19,895 MSRP LESS $1,897 DEALER DISCOUNT. COLLEGE GRAD AND MILITARY REBATES ARE NOT INCLUDED. 72 MONTHS AT 1.9% APR THROUGH SSFCU WITH APPROVED CREDIT. $15.55 PER THOUSAND. FINAL SALE PRICE $17,998 PLUS $150 DOC FEE AND T.T.L. OFFER ENDS 1/31/13. 2NEW 2012 TOYOTA CAMRY L, MODEL 2514, STOCK # CR256891, MSRP $23,155. $1000 GST REBATE PLUS $2257 DEALER DISCOUNT FOR $3257 TOTAL SAVINGS. 36 MO LEASE THROUGH TFS WITH APPROVED CREDIT. 12K MILES PER YEAR, $2,500 CDAS, NO SECURITY DEPOSIT REQUIRED WITH TIER I CREDIT SCORE. MUST TAKE DELIVERY FROM DEALER STOCK BY 1/31/13. COLLEGE GRAD AND MILITARY REBATES ARE NOT INCLUDED. FINAL SALE PRICE $19,905 PLUS $150 DOC FEE AND T.T.L. 3NEW 2013 TOYOTA COROLLA L AUTOMATIC, MODEL 1832, STOCK #DP111146, $18,160 MSRP, LESS $1000 GST REBATE, LESS $1162 DEALER DISCOUNT FOR $2,162 TOTAL SAVINGS. 36 MO LEASE THROUGH TFS WITH APPROVED CREDIT. 12K MILES PER YEAR, $2,645 CDAS, NO SECURITY DEPOSIT REQUIRED WITH TIER I CREDIT SCORE. MUST TAKE DELIVERY FROM DEALER STOCK BY 1/31/13. COLLEGE GRAD AND MILITARY REBATES ARE NOT INCLUDED. FINAL SALE PRICE $15,998 PLUS $150 DOC FEE AND T.T.L. 4NEW 2013 TUNDRA DOUBLE CAB, MODEL 8239, STOCK # DX055046, MSRP $30,508 LESS $2500 GST REBATE LESS $1510 DEALER DISCOUNT FOR $4010 TOTAL SAVINGS. 0% FOR 60 MONTHS AVAILABLE THROUGH TFS WITH APPROVED CREDIT. TIER ONE, TWO AND THREE. 36 MO LEASE THROUGH TFS WITH APPROVED CREDIT.12K MILES PER YEAR, $3,075 CDAS, NO SECURITY DEPOSIT REQUIRED WITH TIER I CREDIT SCORE. MUST TAKE DELIVERY FROM DEALER STOCK BY 1/31/13. COLLEGE GRAD AND MILITARY REBATES ARE NOT INCLUDED. FINAL SALE PRICE OF $26,498 PLUS $150 DOC FEE AND T.T.L.
www.sanmarcostoyota.com(888) 313-1999 • Text “Toyota” to 512512
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