Unerdwear Research SheetSpring 2013 Findings

At Unerdwear we are exceptionally metrics-driven. Being data nerds at heart, we could not imagine launching a new developer product without making sure we have a set of clearly defined performance indicators and that we measure everything. It has been our top priority that upon release our proprietary softwear is thoroughly tested--both in terms of usability, security and its overall performance.

We have designed and conducted a 3-month-long undercover research on a group of carefully pre-selected 256 fake stock photo nerds, one authentic stock photo dinosaur and one authentic stock photo fake stock photo nerd’s cat. We have chosen 256 nerds as our sample size not only because it’s 2 to the power of 8 and a perfect square--which is so freaking cool already--but also because we’ve seen it so many times before it just kind of made sense. 200 (constituting 78.125% of that group) were fake stock photo nerdy men, while 56 (21.875% accordingly) of the interviewed sample group were fake stock photo nerdy women. Yes, we did include the cat and the dinosaur in the research for no particular reason and we do want to make transparent that what we’ve learned from them was a representation of a fairly limited data set and might not be of sufficient statistical significance.

The research method applied was a sophisticated patent-pending variation of A/B testing which focuses heavily on subjectively reported perceived change over time. We defined state “A” as “Before” and state “B” as “After” which really made no sense and caused some confusion as of which state (B=After or A=Before) study participants were referring to... Luckily, among the 256+2 study participants we did include a placebo group of people who were unknowingly NOT wearing Unerdwear during the time of research. And placebo groups are believed to always make research findings more conclusive.

We have targeted our research to get hard data on the correlations between wearing Unerdwear and multiple aspects of nerds’ overall well-being that randomly appeared to us as “important”. The set of variables included: code quality, whatever they thought they meant by “productivity”, social status, condition of their beloved electronic devices (including peripherals). Finally, their Hacker News karma. Measuring Pearson product-moment correlation coefficient also sounded cool but we failed to understand what we can make of it.

After the 90 days of thorough testing followed by 90 days of data mining and machine learning, we have developed a theory that Unerdwear can likely solve every single problem a nerd can face. While the Higgs boson is already discovered and there is not much we can do about it, we have firm reasons to believe that widespread promotion and global application of Unerdwear will eventually lower the level of entropy in the Universe. Upon that realization it was consequently concluded that--to put it in scientific terms--”way before” the humanity faces technological singularity in 2045, Unerdwear will be able to solve all first world problems for non-nerds, too.

We’ve never hacked textiles before but the stakes seemed so high that on the spur of the moment we recently ordered some cotton and talked to people who know people who actually know people in the textile industry. We want to keep collecting big data to support our theories and so that our machines can learn even more about Unerdwear patterns and human-Unerdwear interaction. If you want to help us save the humanity or at least make the world a better place, consider contributing to the research.

Sign up to get your pair of nerdies and at unerdwear.com or just casually email us at unerdwear@gmail.com.