unit 10 forming a friendship

5/28/2018 Unit 10 Forming a Friendship

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UNIT 10

FORMING A FRIENDSHIP

Objectives

After learning this unit, you are expected to be able to:

1. identify clue words to follow an authors thoughts;

2. identify and write sentences with adjective clauses.

Pre-reading Activities

Discuss the following questions with a partner.

1. What do you do to form a friendship?

2. Are really good friends always of the same sex? Why?

3. What are the benefits of having many friends?

4. Are time and distance able to alter real friendship?

5. How do you make a close friendship?

6. How do you maintain a relationship?

Reading Activities

Using clue words to follow an authors thought

Writers rely on clue words to give structure to their writing and to help readers predict or anticipate

what will happen next in a sentence or paragraph. The clue words are:

1. One, two, andthree, which indicate the number of items to be enumerated (or named one by

one) and discussed;

2. For exampleandsuch as, which indicate an example is coming;

3. Alsoand urthermore, which indicate more on the same idea is coming;

4. But, however, andyet, which indicate ideas in opposition;

5. Similarlyandon the other hand, which indicate a comparison or contrast is on the way;

6. If/then, hence, andconsequently, which indicate a conditional relationship (a condition followed

by an outcome);

7. Becauseandfor this reason, which indicate a reason is coming.

Reading Selection


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Forming a Friendship

Kathryn Kelley and Donn Byrne

Once two people meet and begin to interact several factors come into play, influencing how

the relationship develops. First, our initial impressions of others depend in large part on appearance.

If our reactions are negative, the process stops. If we respond positively, the second factor comes

into play: the extent to which we discover that we share similar beliefs and attitudes with the other

person. Third, the final step in forming a closer friendship occurs when we and the other person each

feel and express a positive evaluation of the other. We will now examine these three factors in

greater detail.

Physical Attractiveness: Life as a Beauty Contest

On first coming in contact with someone, we have a strong tendency to respond to physical

attractiveness that combination of facial features, body configuration, and general appearance that

our culture defines as pleasing. We all have learned that Beauty is only skin deep and You cant

udge a book by its cover; nevertheless, most people respond most positively to those they perceive

as attractive. Even in childhood, attractive preschool girls are treated better than their less attractive

peers by other children; the physically attractive children are helped more and hurt less. Also,

attractiveness and unattractiveness remain as fairly stable characteristics throughout childhood and

adolescence.

Other species also respond to overt physical characteristics a peacocks tail, a deers

antlers, a swordtail fishs tail fin suggesting an inherited tendency to attract mates on the basis of

such clues.

Our culture also emphasizes the value of beauty. For example, advertisements instruct

women to cover their embarrassing age spots, lose weight, change their hairstyle and color, wear the

right makeup, and so on. The mass media are found to stress slimness for women much more

strongly than for men. Men, too, are told to take steps to avoid gray hair, dandruff, insufficiently

white teeth, underdeveloped muscles, and a host of other defects. One result is that both men and

women focus on the attractiveness of the opposite sex in most of their interactions. Not surprisingly,

then, attractive men and women receive more invitations for dates in a videodating service than

unattractive ones. Women are, however, able to overlook male unattractiveness if the men possess

compensatory attributes such as status, money, power, or prestige.

Physical attractiveness creates a halo around those who possess it. Both men and women

assume that good-looking people also have a great many positive personal qualities. Our inflated

view of attractive people can best be overcome if we learn to pay more attention to their behavior

than to their appearance.

Altogether, beauty has a number of benefits, however unfair this may be. Attractive men and

women have more success with the opposite sex, including more dates, and they succeed in many


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other social situations as well. One explanation is that those who are attractive males are relatively

assertive and unafraid of rejections, and attractive women are relatively unassertive, and these are

precisely the qualities each sex most prefers in the other in a dating situation. Beyond the dating age,

the greater a persons physical attractiveness, the better off he or she is in educational level, income,

status, and mental health.

Because of the value we place on attractiveness, it follows that self-perceptions of

deficiencies in appearance lower self-esteem and lead to efforts to improve how we look.

Similarity: Seek Those Most Like Ourselves

Attraction toward a similar partner goes beyond physical appearance. Once we begin

interacting with someone new, we try to discover as much as possible about his or her likes and

dislikes. Throughout history it has been observed that people respond most positively to other

individuals who are most similar to themselves, especially those who hold similar attitudes, beliefs,

and values.

Research consistently finds that attitude similarity leads to attraction. You may hear that

opposites attract, but such mismatching works better in fiction than in real life. Attraction is a

direct consequence of similar attitudes. Thus, friends, lovers, and spouses have similar views on most

issues.

Why is similarity so crucial in relationships? It appears that similarity has a positive effect

because it helps confirm our judgments about the world. When another person agrees with us, he or

she affirms or validates our view about politics, religion, and so on and also provides evidence that

our judgments, tastes, and style of behavior are reasonable, normal, and wise. We find it rewarding

when others provide this positive information.

Reciprocity of Positive Evaluations:

If You Like Me, Let Me Know

If someone is really your friend and if your interactions are positive, would you expect that

person to evaluate you positively, help you whenever possible, and let you know you are liked? Many

students indicate that the communication of such positive evaluations between partners is the most

crucial characteristic of a successful relationship.

Even when two people are dissimilar in their attitudes, a man will be attracted to a woman if

she shows interest in him by maintaining eye contact, talking to him, and leaning toward him. When

reciprocity of positive reactions occurs, either verbally or nonverbally, the relationship is

strengthened for both individuals. Flattery, a desire to be together and to communicate, and any sign

of affection indicate clearly that positive affect is operating in the friendship. In contrast hostility,

negative evaluations, or refusal to be helpful to one another creates a negative effect, which clearly

endangers the relationship.

FromReading with Meaning, 1999 pp 127-129


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Questions

Answer the following questions by referring to the text. Be ready to tell how you used the authors

clue words to help you answer.

Paragraph 1

1. How many factors about interaction will the author discuss? ____________________

____________________________________________________________________

What are they? _______________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________

2. If we respond positively, what then? _______________________________________

____________________________________________________________________

Nevertheless, what happens? ____________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________

Paragraph 4

3. What is an example of our cultures emphasis on beauty? ______________________

____________________________________________________________________

4. What does the wordhowevertell you that the author is going to do here? _________

____________________________________________________________________

Paragraph 5

5. If we learn to pay more attention to behavior, what then? _____________________

____________________________________________________________________

Paragraph 7

6. Why do our perceptions of deficiencies lower self-esteem? _______________________

____________________________________________________________________

Paragraph 9

7. Do opposites really attract? ______________________________________________

What clue word tells you that is not true? ___________________________________

____________________________________________________________________

8. Why do friends, lovers, and spouses have similar views? _______________________

____________________________________________________________________

Paragraph 10


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9. What word in this paragraph tells you that you are handling cause/effect?

____________________________________________________________________

Paragraph 11

10. If someone is really your friend, what then? _________________________________

____________________________________________________________________

Paragraph 12

11. Under what condition will a man be attracted to a woman? _____________________

____________________________________________________________________

What word clues you in to the conditional relationship? ________________________

____________________________________________________________________

Vocabulary

Learn the following sentences taken from the reading selection. Pay attention to the italicized

words.

1. When another person agrees with us, he or sheaffirms or validates our view about politics,

religion, and so on and also provides evidence that our judgments, tastes, and style of behavior

are reasonable, normal, and wise.

2. Women are, however, able to overlook male unattractiveness if the men possess compensatory

attributessuch as status, money, power, or prestige.

3. Women are, however, able to overlook male unattractiveness if the men possesscompensatoryattributes such as status, money, power, or prestige.

4. On first coming in contact with someone, we have a strong tendency to respond to physical

attractiveness that combination of facial features, bodyconfiguration, and general appearance

that our culture defines as pleasing.

5. Researchconsistentlyfinds that attitude similarity leads to attraction.

6. Other species also respond toovertphysical characteristics a peacocks tail, a deers antlers, a

swordtail fishs tail fin suggesting an inherited tendency to attract mates on the basis of such

clues.

7. Whenreciprocityof positive reactions occurs, either verbally or nonverbally, the relationship is

strengthened for both individuals.8. Also, attractiveness and unattractiveness remain as fairly stable characteristics throughout

childhood and adolescence.


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Now use the italicized words to complete the following sentences.

1. The young man had a very __________________ relationship with his girlfriend; he had been

seeing her for more than two years.

2. I was attracted to him because of his social _____________________ and his physical

characteristics.

3. The president ___________________ scored at the top of her class; she always got As.

4. The agreement of _____________________ between the two clubs made it possible for a

number of one club to eat in the dining room of the other.

5. During halftime, the band lined up in a ________________________ that spelled out the name

of the university.

6. There was nothing underhanded in what the team captain did; he was always

____________________ and aboveboard in his actions.

7. The captain of the team _____________________ that he had never taken drugs.

8. In _____________________ education, a person learns things to make up for his or her

deficiencies.

Grammar Focus

Adjective Clauses

The words highlighted are the examples of adjectives clauses from the reading selection.

1. Throughout history it has been observed that people respond most positively to other individuals

who are most similar to themselves, especially those who hold similar attitudes, beliefs, and

values.

2. In contrast hostility, negative evaluations, or refusal to be helpful to one another creates a

negative effect,which clearly endangers the relationship.

An adjective clause is a clause that modifies a noun or a noun phrase acting as the antecedent.

Therefore, the adjective clause comes right after the antecedent. The adjective clause is preceded by

a relative pronoun, the kind of which depends on the antecedent.

Table 1 Relative pronouns introducing the adjective clause

people who, whom, thatthings that, which

time when

place where

Other examples of adjective clauses:


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1. I have a friend who has many beautiful classical records.

2. He is the friend whom I visited last week.

3. He is a conductor whose orchestra is well known.

4. The man whom we spokewithhad just arrived in Bandung.

We can leave out the relative pronouns when a subject and a verb follow the relative

pronoun.

Examples:

1. She is the teacher (whom) I had last semester.

2. This is the book (that) I am interested in.

3. Here is the copy of the first test (which) I told you about.

We also can reduce an adjective clause to a phrase:

1. The student (who is) talking to the teacher is from China.

2. Last night he gave a lecture (which was) on economical development in his country.

3. Anyone (who is) interested in this country should plan to attend another lecture

tomorrow.

Exercise 1

Supply the correct relative pronoun for each adjective clause in the following sentences.

1. The author __________ wrote this book was a Frenchman.

2. He married a beautiful woman ________ was also an author.

3. He is currently finishing a master degree _______ I havent even started yet.

4. Steven Spielberg has made many movies _______ success has also been tremendous.

5. She was a modest woman _______ generosity was felt by many people.

Exercise 2

Reduce the adjective clause to a phrase.

1. Chemistry, which is a difficult subject, can be enjoyable.

2. Nevertheless, the students who are taking Dr. Smiths class this semester are enjoying

it.3. Dr. Smith has written several chemistry books, which are used in universities around

the world.

4. He has just completed an important government report, which is on reserve in the

library.

5. The students that have been in his classes consider it a privilege to study with him.


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Writing Practice

1. Write five sentences with adjective clauses.

2. Summarize the reading selection in approximately 250 words. Remember to include the context

clues to organize your details.

Summary

1. Clue words are used to give structure to a piece of writing and to help readers predict or

anticipate what will happen next in a sentence or paragraph.

2. An adjective clause is a clause that modifies a noun or a noun phrase acting as the antecedent.

The adjective clause is preceded by a relative pronoun.

Reflection

In this unit, you have learned how to interpret graphs and charts, write a graph or chart

narration, and use present and past participles. Put a check on the column based on your

self-assessment.

Objectives Achieved More practice

needed

To identify clue words to

follow an authors

thoughts

To identify an adjective

clause

To write sentences with

adjective clauses

More practice on context clues can be retrieved from the following site:

http://www.sinclair.edu/centers/tlc/pub/handouts_worksheets/reading/learning_words_from_cont

ext_clues.pdf

You can go to this site for more practice on adjective clauses:

http://web2.uvcs.uvic.ca/elc/studyzone/410/grammar/adj1.htm

http://grammar.about.com/od/sentencestructures/a/Exercise-In-Identifying-Adjective-Clauses.htm

unit 10 forming a friendship

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