unleash your representing all women inner diva! · 4 raw | representing all women winter 2010 5 a...

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Health, Wealth & Sex

UNLEASH YOUR INNER DIVA!

WINTER 2010 | Issue 1, Volume 1 | Canada $4.95 | www.representingallwomen.com

Is Risk a 4-letter word?

WHAT’S YOUR TIME WORTH?WHEN IT’S TIME TO PAY SOMEONE ELSE

REPRESENTING ALL WOMEN

The POLE TRUTH


Insist on yourself. Never imitate.

- RALpH WALdO EmERSON

You are important.

“Those who do not create the future they want must endure the future they get”

— Draper L Kaufman, Jr.

A WOMEN’S WEEKEND to help you improve your self inside and outTake Time for yourself. Seek relief from the noise of your every day life, reconnect with your self, and the life you want. At the All About Me women’s weekend retreat we believe life is something to be lived to the fullest, not rushed through or en-dured. Often women want to make changes and create meaning in their lives, but they’re so busy keeping up with everything they’re not sure how to start. In one weekend, you will have access to world class coaches and experts who help educate and inspire you to become the person you’ve always wanted to be. Coming in June 2010.

Visit our website for more information www.representingallwomen.com

4 RAW | REpRESENTING ALL WOmEN WINTER 2010 www.representingallwomen.com 5

A Vision For All WomenAs a trainer and coach, I am passionately dedicated to helping people reach for whatever it is they truly want. In creating my business, Representing All Women, I envisioned a forum for building my motivational speaking programs through workshops, books, and an indispensible magazine. RAW | Representing All Women magazine has been on my dream board for as long as I can remember and I am thrilled to unveil the premiere issue. I have a vision for all women. I see empowered, independent ladies unleashing their inner divas and strutting proud and secure in this world. I want RAW to be a gateway to the kind of frank dialogue you have with your best friend. We know what everyone’s talking about, but let’s get to the bottom of what’s not being said. Let’s not be afraid to get a little cheeky. Let’s not settle for second best. We can count on change but can we count on ourselves to make it? Sometimes life is like walking on a sheet of glass suspended between two skyscrapers. Looking down is frightening and looking up into nothing but a sky of shifting clouds and sun is disorienting. Realizing the threat of falling to the ground below is an illusion and there is nothing left but to take the steps and enjoy the view — now that’s exciting stuff. RAW is devoted to inspiring you to take that first scary step and trust you won’t fall through the glass. This is a call to action to improve your life while being educated and entertained. I started the Center for Disaster Recovery in Barrie, Ont., with just $40 in my pocket. I grew it to over a million dollars because I found my calling as a motivating teacher. But I have been stuck, broke, alone and afraid many times. I struggle with my weight. I try to be the best mother I can to my six-year-old son. Like all women, I juggle with the best of them. To achieve your dreams, you must be willing learn and implement the techniques that focus all that energy into a common purpose. I am looking forward to sharing these techniques with you in the pages of RAW. Your input is welcome and I hope you will become part of sharing my vision of the inner diva unleashed.

Warm Regards,

Stephanie BeattieStephanie Beattie

Winter 2010, Issue 1, Volume 1

FOUNDER Stephanie Beattie [email protected]

EDITOR Laura Aiken 416.966.3877 [email protected]

CREATIVE DIRECTOR Julie Bateman 705.728.3569 [email protected]

CONTRIBUTORS Rebbeca Rosenblat, Doug Caporrino, Tristan Brown, Janice Honeyman, Regen Chen, Clare Tattersall

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

ADVERTISING INQUIRIES Blain Gummow 416.892.2904 Terrie DeMarchi 289.878.6809Bruce Jones 416.413.1692 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

SUBSCRIPTIONS1 year (four issues) $14.95 + taxRAW | Representing All Women is published quarterly in Winter, Spring, Summer and Fall. www.representingallwomen.com

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RAW magazine is published by Expressions Custom Publications on behalf of Representing All Women Toronto 416.966.3877 | Barrie 705.728.3569 92 Caplan Ave., Suite 111, Barrie, ON, L4N 0Z7 [email protected] www.expressionscustompublications.com

Return undeliverable Canadian addresses to Representing All Women, 259 A Innisfil St., Barrie, ON, L4N 3G2

No part of the content of this publication may be reproduced without the publisher’s written permission. ©Representing All Women. All rights reserved. Opinions expressed in this magazine are not necessarily reflected by the editor or publisher. No liability assumed for errors or omissions.

REPRESENTING ALL WOMENRAW C O N T E N T S

08 | Gimme some sugar Jeweller “Sugar” Gay Isber is as one of a kind as her signature creations. Join us for a peek inside life at the “sugar factory”.

12 | The diva diet Can’t stick with a nutri-tional plan that works? Try our simple recipe for clean eating.

16 | What’s your time worth? Dream of having a house cleaner, gardener or nanny? Find out if it’s time to hire someone else and spend more time doing what you really love.

20 | The pole truth What are strip clubs really like? The RAW roundtable called for an evening of investigation to get a little closer to the pole truth.

26 | Self-improvement sneak peek Don’t just dress for success, dress like you mean it. Find out what that means in this excerpt on wardrobe essentials from the book You can have it all: Unleash your inner diva, a new personal power guide by Stephanie Beattie.

28 | Better business: create rapport with anyone in under 30 seconds We all know the power of first impressions. Use this 30 second technique to generate trust, feelings of empathy and make people want to do business with you.

DEPARTMENTS06 RAW facts 07 Ask Steph 11 Canadian made 13 Health with doug Caporrino 14 Wealth with Janice Honeyman 15 Top beauty bets 18 Sex with Rebecca Rosenblat 19 diva quiz 22 Etiquette with Tristan Brown 24 Events calendar

6 RAW | REpRESENTING ALL WOmEN WINTER 2010

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| FACTS


Q: I am planning my wedding for next year and am interested in buying a house in the near future. I was wondering if you had any advice on saving money while planning a wedding. It seems like a pretty daunting task but buying a house is an investment that is very important to me. —Melissa, Richmond Hill

A: The best way to save money is to put it away regularly in small amounts. If you have online banking, set up an automatic withdrawal that automatically transfers a weekly amount of cash from your chequing account to your savings account. Nickname your savings account the “house” account. It may hurt for the first little while, but I

promise that soon you won’t even notice. I started my savings with a small amount of $25 a week. From there, I increased the amounts incrementally, from $27 to $31 and so on. The long-term rewards will be worth it. I also weighed decisions far more carefully when I was aggressively saving. When I was thinking of going out for a coffee, dinner or a shopping trip, I would ask myself if I really, really needed what I was going out for. If I decided to go, I would take half of the money that I planned to spend and roll it into the “house” account. When it comes to juggling the expense of a wedding while saving for a house, it helps to do things for the wedding in small incre-ments. Make small payments to your vendors on an ongoing basis so you don’t get hit

with large expenses all at once. Calculate all the costs of your wedding and then see how it would break down if you made payments every two weeks for the next year. This will give you an indication of how to make those smaller payments while still rolling money into the “house” account. Congratulations and good luck!

Q: Thanks to arthritis, I am being forced to change careers so I don’t have to put excess strain on my hands anymore. I feel completely lost. My job was a big part of my identity. How do I begin to find a new path for myself? —Sarah, Toronto

(Continued on page 23)

A study by the University of Exeter in England found women and men should not shop together for longer than 1 hour and 12 minutes as that is when arguments start because men no longer want to be there.

NASA sleep researchers discovered a 26 minute nap can boost performance by as much as 34%.

An investigation by University of New Mexico researchers found lap dancers earn $335 per five-hour shift while ovulating compared with $260 per shift during the luteal phase after ovulation and $185 while menstruating. Participants on the birth control pill showed no peak or demise in earnings with their monthly arrival.

A recent U.S. consumer survey showed women spend an average of $69 less than men on their sweetie for Valentine’s Day. . . . Women make up more than 50% of those employed in professional medicine, business and financial positions.

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the time in front of the tube. “I had never really made jewelry before. But yeah, it’s not surprising that the marriage didn’t last,” she says with a laugh that resonates rich and spicy, like a bold Shiraz. “Everyday was planned around what shows were on.” The marriage lasted five years — long enough for her two sons to enjoy the presence of a father figure and for Sugar to become en-trenched in the community and her art. She says she maintains a strong connection to Kitchener-Waterloo and the friends she made while build-ing a network in a new country. Her big and bold outdoor art exhibits garnered her regular appearances in the local newspaper and helped make her new community home.

Proudly CanadianSince Sugar’s move to Toronto, she says she en-joys playing ambassador for Canada atop the CN

Tower, for which she designs jewelry for their gift shop. She spends time talking to tourists with her jewelry on display, which is what lead to her nickname, Sugar. Gay didn’t translate well to the many languages passing through the tourist at-traction. Her experience selling her product at the CN Tower opened the door to really mark herself as a Canadian jeweller. “I really mark myself as ‘made in Canada.’ This country is a big part of my market and I want it to be. I want to be Canada’s jeweller.” The tags on her jewelry are all stamped with a maple leaf. Her genuine love for this country is obvious as she recounts studying for her citi-zenship test like it was a bar exam, with passing it amongst her proudest moments. She may be striving to be Canada’s jeweller but her designs have graced many a celebrity on both sides of the border, and she counts the Home Shop-ping Channel as a large client. Her jewelry was

commissioned for weddings on The Young and the Restless and she finds much of it on loan for Toronto’s annual Fashion Week. I did not need to see much of her work to coin them as truly original, statement-making pieces born of deep-ly subconscious inspiration.

To sleep, perchance to designWhile some of us simply dream without mem-ory or significance, Sugar finds her muse in the creative stories stemming from her dreams. “I do remember my dreams and I dream amazing stuff. I am the luckiest person in the world. Everything in your mind is worked out in time one way or another and for me it’s just in the most beautiful dreams. But I can’t watch anything negative before bed.” Another aspect of Sugar’s creative process in-volves turning off the outside noise, a seemingly im-possible task in a world in information overdrive.

The grand tour The door to the Sugar Factory was open when I arrived and stepped into a wash of warm sunlight pouring through massive windows that effectively cast a twinkling river of sparkle across the showcase of jewels at the entrance. A large tin pail filled to the brim with tiaras lay at my feet, three-dimensional butterflies climbed a wall to my right and enormous painted can-vasses and massive chandeliers were every-where — my senses were burning calories just standing at the front door. I called out ‘hello’ and in hustled Sugar from her adjacent studio, dressed sharply in black while emanating a rainbow of smiles and delivering a warm hug. She ushered me in further to shake hands with her assistant, Jess Greschner, who showed me their new jewelry collection for the Royal Ontario Museum be-

fore we headed upstairs to chat. Armed with scotch, peace and quiet, the second floor was as cozy as a country cabin but the floor to ceil-ing windows couldn’t hide the panoramic ur-ban view of the Toronto skyline. The 31st floor is fitting for an entrepreneur who has found freedom in doing what she loves and watching it take flight.

A jeweller is bornSugar wasn’t always an entrepreneur, or a jeweller, but she’s always been an artist. Born in Texas, she’s been covering everything in sight with paint since she was a little girl, eventually pursuing two master’s degrees — one in visual arts, the other in humani-ties. While designing jewelry is the nuts and bolts of the Sugar Beads & Co. business, she says painting is closest to her heart and would be the one thing she would do, if she could do only one thing.

“I love to get messy, just covered in paint. My late husband used to say that I could sign my name on a cheque with a can of spray paint. I spray painted everything.” Sugar’s foray into the world of making jew-elry is a classic case of how a tragedy can lead to a completely new life. A few years after her husband passed away from a heart condition, she found herself and her boys badly in need of a fresh start. True to form of the impulsively passionate, she met a fellow online, chatted to him for a little while and then married him within one week of meeting him in person. The catch: He was Canadian. So she found herself in Kitchener-Waterloo, Ont., with nothing to do for a year while they finished their paper-work so she could get a job. Her new hubby turned out to be a television addict and she used the box of beads she brought with her from Texas to make jewelry as a way to pass

Gimme some sugar BY LAURA AIkEN

Entering “Sugar” Gay Isber’s world of unfettered bedazzlement is like uncorking a bottle of the finest champagne for the sake of joie de vivre. However, this jeweller’s bubbly warmth has a knack for making you feel as though you’re the special occasion. Her Sugar Factory in the Sky — a sprawling Yorkville penthouse serving as studio, home and party palace to fans, friends and family — is a buffet of 10 million uncirculated vintage mint condition beads and miles of vintage chains just waiting for someone who wants to play dress-up.

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HOLLENBREEZCarol Fuller’s bright and sexy bikinis put the sass back in swimwear. Fuller started designing bikinis in the mid-1990s, registered Hol-lenbreez as a company in 2004, and took her fabulous creations public at the 2009 National Women’s Show in Toronto. “My concept with bikinis is if you are comfortable wearing one then you are com-fortable being looked at! I always use very bright colours that you can see from a distance on the beach. In my own market research over the years with wearing my own designs, I found that whether people are aware or not they end up keeping an eye on that person wearing that bright bikini,” she says. Fuller says she began designing swim-wear after becoming frustrated with what she saw as a trend towards boring, repetitive and poorly fitting bikinis. Fed up with saggy bum suits, she set about creating a unique made-in-Canada line that includes coordi-nating ‘Kini dresses’ which are a step up from a wrap, turning your bathing suit into a dress. Her innovative bridal line consists of a white bikini and interchangeable short and long Kini dresses. Visit http://hollenbreez.com or contact Fuller at 905.876.8922.

QUINTESSENTIAL CLAYMelissa Farquhar started working with clay in high school and loved it, so she contin-ued pursuing her education in it throughout university while studying science. In 2003, after a long career in science at the Universi-ty of Guelph, she was able to make working with clay a full-time dream and launched Quintessential Clay. “I love the sculptural, three-dimensional nature of pottery. Throwing pottery on a wheel motivates me creatively and challenges my skills because I enjoy pushing the limits of the thrown form,” she says. “My goal is to produce pieces that are elegant and aestheti-cally pleasing but at the same time are easy and lovely to use each and every day.” You can find Farquhar and her beauti-ful designs each year at the winter One of a Kind show in Toronto, which is her main retail event. She works from a studio in her 150-year-old farmhouse just outside Guelph, Ont., and is represented by a few galleries and shops in the area. “I am very excited to be creating a lot of custom porcelain dinnerware sets currently, a growing specialty for me. Also, I am thrilled to be leading a workshop called Mastering Dinnerware in Tuscany, Italy, in 2011.” Her pottery is all fired using green, renewable energy sources provided by Bullfrog Power. Visit www.quintessentialclay.ca or call Farquhar at 519.856.2857.

GRANDMA DEB’S GOURMET Deb Weston turned her passion for baking into 3,000 pounds of gourmet rum-soaked fruitcake from her home in Barrie, Ont. last year. Weston is truly a renaissance chef, giv-ing new life to the ill-reputed fruitcake from the days of yore. Her delectable wrapped in cheesecloth treats have become a favourite of retailer Harry Rosen and earned a place in Pusateri’s Fine Foods. “I think puréeing the fruit is the secret,” says Weston of the one modification she made to her 130-year-old family recipe that was passed on to her by her mother-in-law. Her fruitcake does not have the big chunks in it that come to mind for many. Weston, a nurse by trade, injured her back six years ago and needed to carve a new path for her life. She’d been making the fruitcake for many years as a holiday tradition for fam-ily, and began sales by sharing it door-to-door with the businesses and residents of Barrie. Her get-up-and-go gusto earned her 350 orders in seven weeks during her first year of operation. She decided to participate in To-ronto’s One of a Kind show and the business really started rocking from there. “You can see the passion and the heart that goes into this. I tell the girls that help me wrap that they have to feel the love in that cake. The recipe truly is made with love.” Visit http://grandmadebs.com or contact Weston at 705.720.2264. RAW

“I don’t keep the TV on. It’s all noise at the end of the day. I don’t listen to the radio when I’m in the car. I don’t listen to music because I need my head to be very clear and let it just work.” If all that glitters is gold, then silence is truly golden at the Sugar Factory, where night has befallen the cityscape, its lights unfurling like an ocean of stars from the 31st floor of 55

Charles St. From here it’s easy to savour the simple moments and reflect on how well Sugar seems to have grasped the concept of maximiz-ing life’s fleeting, fragile nature. So, I ask what the phrase “life is short” means to her. “Life is short but it’s long if you’re not hav-ing fun,” she quips, before recounting how finding her husband dead had showed her

that even when you know it’s coming you are never prepared for the shock of how instantly life’s flame can be doused and your own life can change in an instant. “Even though I’d had two-and-a-half years to prepare for that moment, I was so hysterical when I called 911 they thought I’d shot him and showed up at my house and surrounded it with guns. I just realized my life had changed and it would never be that life again. Every time that somebody wastes my time I realize that time is precious. I try really hard not to waste any time doing anything that I don’t re-ally like. We don’t have an infinite number of minutes in this life and we don’t know what that number is. You can’t prepare for it.” Change is the truest fact of life, and Sugar doesn’t see an end to the adventure that comes along with it. “If I could do anything I wanted, this is pret-ty good. It’s good to accomplish what I wanted to do. I’ve had a fun life.” RAW

Editor’s Note: At press time, Sugar moved to a different unit within the same building. Visit ww.gayisber.com for contact info details.

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RAW

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Mary G. Enig, PhD, and Sally Fallon, a journalist and nutrition researcher, wrote an article ti-tled Tragedy and Hype that was widely circu-lated. The article made a series of accusations against soy products, such as it causes rather than prevents cancer, shrinks brain cells and is full of all kinds of toxins. Considering soy has become so mainstream in the Western diet, many of us would have cause for serious concern if these statements are true. Back in 1999, Time magazine reported that a mere 1.5 ounces of soy a day can lower overall and bad cholesterol levels (known as low-density lipoprotein or LDL). Fallon and Enig argued soy carries potent enzyme inhib-itors that block the action of enzymes needed for protein digestion, causing serious distress and reduced protein digestion. What I have found is the protein in cooked soybeans is slightly less digestible than that found in most animal foods. When soybeans are made into soymilk, tofu and other forms of soy products, their protein di-gestibility is enhanced and becomes similar to animal foods. Any of the negative impact is cut down to almost nil in these products. It’s important to remember simple soybeans, even with their reduced digestibility, are so high in protein and essential amino acids that they could easily serve as the sole source of protein in a person’s diet.

In Fallon and Enig’s article, they state soybeans contain a clot promoting substance that causes red blood cells to clump together as well as growth inhibitors and a substance that can depress thyroid function. All true, but there is little evidence that soybeans rep-resent a health danger as a result. Moderate amounts of soy have been happily eaten by entire civilizations for thousands of years! The Okinawa Japanese — the longest living people in the world — average one to two servings of soy each day. The reality is most foods contain com-ponents that can produce unhealthy effects when they are tested in isolation in a labora-tory. Fallon and Enig build much of their case against soy upon animal studies, but there have been countless experiments that have been done on animals with drugs that have produced no side effects and yet were poten-tially deadly to humans. Certain foods were created in nature to be nutritionally balanced, not torn apart and analyzed. For example, broccoli, lentils, and grapefruit, contain naturally occurring pes-ticides that cause mutations if eaten in high quantities. Does this mean we are going to stop eating broccoli and grapefruit? I think not. Celery harbours toxins that at a high enough level can damage the human immune system and cause photosensitivity. Spinach

and chard contain oxalic acid, a substance which binds with calcium and can diminish its absorption. Now this doesn’t mean we should avoid eating any of these foods. In fact, if you made it your policy to eat no food that contained substances which can in large enough doses cause damage, there would be literally noth-ing left to eat. Nature created things in bal-ance. Let us respect that. To believe that eating soy poses a risk to human health is taking things much further than the evidence warrants. But diversity is key. Eat a menu that is rich in vegetables, whole grains, seeds, nuts, fruits, and other legumes. For the majority of people, substi-tuting soyfoods for some of the animal foods they now eat is one of the healthiest menu changes they could make.

Doug Caporrino, personal trainer to the stars, has been instrumental in keeping celebri-ties such as John Travolta and La Toya Jackson in top shape. With numerous television and media appearances to his credit, Doug has shared the stage with the likes of Deepak Chopra and Dr. Patch Adams. His mark on the international fitness community

include speaking engagements, nutritional products, videos, and his Results thru Research personal and wellness coaching.

To soy or not to soy? BY dOUG CApORRINO

I have always maintained an opinion based on my readings and research that soy is a safe alternative to milk or other animal products. However, I decided to go back to the drawing board and read every possible study available on the great soy debate. Here’s what I found.

The Diva DietTo say that sticking to a fitness or diet regime is tough would be an understatement or a cliché. It often involves changing habits that have been ingrained in our lives for years. Darn right it’s hard. We know if we follow through with bettering our health we’ll look and feel better but we often quickly lose our initial motivation and revert back to old ways. What’s holding us back?

“I think it’s probably lack of total commitment, not desire,” says Michelle Hannan, personal trainer and owner of The Training Studio. “Goal setting is critical.” Hannan is a personal trainer who’s been actively competing as a fitness athlete for nine years. In 2008, she placed first in the master’s division of the national Ultimate Fitness Events championship. She says a lack of time is the number one reason people don’t stick with their fitness program fol-lowed by fatigue and money; however, she sees sticking to a diet as the bigger of the latter two challenges. Eating habits are a lifestyle and changing them requires a lot of strength from within. Remember, it may take a few tries to incorporate permanent lifestyle changes. Don’t get discouraged if you stray, just start over the next day. Han-nan recommends this diet for divas as a nutritional guideline for getting healthy and advises visiting your doctor before embarking on any new diet or fitness plan. Try it out for a week and start seeing results.

Breakfast (within one hour of waking)One cup of oatmeal with a splash of milk or soy milk and an egg white omelette. Add berries to your oatmeal and try fresh veggies like peppers and zucchini, a slice of low fat cheese or a tablespoon of salsa in your omelette.

Snack one(choose one of the following)One cup of a protein shake, one cup of cottage cheese or yogurt with almonds, a protein bar or one apple with one tablespoon of all natural peanut butter.

LunchOne portion (approximately four to five ounces ) of either chicken , fish or lean beef or pork, one cup brown rice or half a sweet potato and a green salad with vegetables (olive oil and balsamic vinegar dressing).

Snack two Choose from the same option as snack one.

dinnerFour to five ounces of chicken, fish or lean beef or pork, a half cup of whole wheat pasta with a half cup of spaghetti sauce or one tablespoon of olive oil and pinch of garlic, as many green vegetables such as broccoli, beans or asparagus as desired. Add hot sauce, balsamic vinegar and spices to chicken and pork dishes if you like!

If you’re still hungry in the evening after dinner, have a third snack consisting of an egg white omelette or one cup of a protein shake.


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Indeed, taking unnecessary risks can result in disastrous consequences if events don’t work out as planned. Yet we all know that those who are willing to take calculated risks are of-ten the most successful, in investing or life in general. On the flipside, avoiding all risks can bring costly adverse consequences as well. With regard to your finances, the key is to recognize the risks and to manage them in the context of your assets and personal circum-stances. For most of us balance is important. Investment risks come in many forms. Most often risk is associated with the ups and downs of the equity markets, but there are dif-ferent risks associated with all asset classes. With regard to equities some factors in assessing the risk of any stock may include the following. Specific Company Factors:What is the historical record of earnings and dividend payouts? Is the balance sheet sound, or over-extended by leverage and thus vulnerable to interest rate risk? Has management demon-strated the leadership qualities required of outstanding companies? Is the company a leader in its industry and able to set market standards or is it vulnerable to predatory at-tacks by the competition? Industry Factors: What are the key fac-

tors driving industry demand? Who sets prices? Regulated industries may have more predictable earnings, payouts and business operations together with relatively lower val-uations (thus, less risk). At the other extreme, fast-growing companies in glamorous indus-tries may sport higher valuations as a result of investor enthusiasm. Market Risk: What are the relative merits of equities in general today versus other classes of investments? During the market cycle, it is not uncommon for all stocks to fall (or rise), irrespective of quality or corporate merits. The following are some other risks that are not specific to equities. Political Risk: Governments can change their minds as to their professed policies. This is true for emerging nations where the tradition of business may not yet be well established, but also in Canada where a new government can break promises and change the rules. Inflation Risk: Will the value of your as-sets keep pace with the deterioration of your currency’s buying power? Outliving your money: A natural and fa-vourite concern of the retired. Resorting to non-growth investments in an effort to avoid the risk of losing money can ex-acerbate a situation they are trying to avoid.

Every individual’s circumstances are unique but it is rare that any investment expert would recommend a completely risk-adverse solu-tion to any investor. For example, those nearing retirement might want to maintain a healthy component of growth in their investment assets to assist their ongoing income potential. This suggests some use of quality growth equities rather than sole reliance on fixed-income or deposit vehicles. Tax considerations will also figure promi-nently in any solution as well. But reliance on just one investment class because of its low tax rate may offer more risk than warranted. Risk should be kept in context with inves-tor needs. A balanced approach and careful selection of individual securities should result in an acceptable profile and satisfying overall returns, whatever the objective.

Janice Honeyman is a senior in-vestment advisor with Research Capital Corporation in Toronto. She is a regular speaker at financial ed-ucation events across the greater Toronto area and has published a widely followed investment news-letter for the past decade. Send your investment questions to Janice at [email protected].

The headline above suggests risk is a nasty concept we should avoid in life at all costs. What is your concept of risk? It should vary depending on your age and circumstances. But no matter what your temperament as an investor, it’s not something to avoid completely.

Is Risk a Four-Letter Word? BY JANICE HONEYmAN

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To focus on your core competencies and then delegate what you can is sound and standard business advice that managers turn to time and again in building successful enterprises. If we looked at our lives like businesses, we may find that we are not running things as effec-tively as we could be if we followed this prac-tice of doing what we do best while someone else does the rest. The first step is to look at how thinly you feel your life is stretched. Take this quiz and count how many times you answer yes to the following statements:

I wish I didn’t have to do any housework. ☐I don’t have the time to keep my house ☐as clean as I’d like to.I wish I had more time for the people ☐and hobbies I love.I often leave things half finished. ☐I am often rushing to accomplish tasks. ☐I feel like I spend too much time on ☐obligations.I spend too much time doing things that ☐I am not good at.I wish I had a cleaning person, nanny, ☐helper, carpenter, gardener, etc.

Chances are you answered yes to the major-ity of the above statements. There are four telltale signs that you could benefit from hiring someone else to take care of some of your life’s details. Firstly, when you earn more money for your time than it costs to pay someone else, it’s time to delegate. Secondly, if you’re not good at the activity (perhaps your garden grows dirt under your care and not much else), it’s time to seek professional help. Thirdly, when you simply need a break it’s time to lighten the load, even on a short-term basis. And lastly, sometimes you just need a change of pace! The time women spend on housework paints a startling picture. In 2006, The Discovery Home & Health channel conducted a survey in Great Britain that showed cleaning amounts to be an unbelievable 870 hours a year or 54 days based on eight hours of sleep per night. Between the ages of 18 and 80, Discovery calculated this to be a phenomenal nine years, two months and 25 days of a woman’s life. Another survey conducted in 2009 by Maid Brigade (a national U.S. cleaning ser-vice) and Mom Corps (a flexible employ-

ment firm) found that a mass majority of women felt having cleaning assistance helped them achieve greater balance. Of those using a maid or cleaning service, 98 per cent said it helped balance their lives. Seventy-two per cent of respondents said they felt like they worked a second shift at home due to the number of hours spent keeping house after their day in the paid workforce. Cash flow is usually the king of inhibitors when it comes to taking on the responsibility of hiring and paying someone else. It’s nerve wracking to take that next step as a business owner, and likewise in your business of your life. But it can be the most liberating step for-ward. Instead of thinking, “I can’t afford it,” why not ask yourself, “HOW can I afford it?” We find money for the things most valued to us and in essence our values become reflected by how we spend our green. Shannon Patterson owns and operates Dragonfly Cleaning and Gardening in Col-lingwood, Ont. Patterson charges an hourly rate for her services and estimates it takes between four and eight hours to clean a home, depend-ing on the size. Gardening services are similar. House cleaning services usually occur once a week while gardening is done on a bi-weekly or monthly basis. While Patterson disclosed her hourly rates, it would not paint a complete picture to reveal them here. Since cost is a big

factor in bringing this kind of help into your life, we recommend price shopping. Some compa-nies will give you numbers over the phone and some will not, says Patterson. When she was establishing her business and rates, she said she called numerous similar companies and most wanted to come to her house to provide the quote. Be prepared that it may be time consum-ing as you’ll have to be present for the discussion of estimated costs for each one that you look into. But do ensure you find one you feel you are comfortable with and are paying fairly for. When you do speak with someone, be sure to ask how much insurance they have and for

their business number. Deal with a registered company and know that they would be able to replace your carpet if they spill bleach on it. There are more benefits to hiring profes-sionals than buying yourself time — you’re also getting the perks of professional service. “When you’re a cleaning lady, it’s a busi-ness, a system and a skill. You have to leave knowing there can be no mistakes left be-hind,” says Patterson. “It is better to have it done properly in far less time than it may take you to do the job yourself.” Cleaning your home can become per-sonal to you and you may be distracted by things along the way, which doesn’t happen to the helpers that you hire. Another benefit you may not have considered is profession-als bring their own products, saving you the time, money and space in purchasing them. Once you’ve figured out how you can af-ford to delegate tasks, whether it be your prop-erty, cleaning, repairs or childcare, be sure to prepare in such a way that is the most efficient use of their services. For example, time for house cleaners is not necessarily best used for picking up clothes and washing dishes. They’ll do it but they won’t know where you put things away. Floors, bathrooms, beddings, walls and kitchens are the typical system of housekeep-ers and you’ll save money by having the spaces tidy for them, says Patterson.

When it comes to both your house and exterior land, property values will benefit from professional care. In the long run, it pays to keep your valuable assets looking new. Household chores can be jobs we love. Some of us relish our time in the garden or find it therapeutic to scrub the floors and reap the pride in a job well done. Some of us sim-ply do not have the time or deem other activi-ties as more enriching to our lives. Use your time wisely. It’s precious and only guaranteed to us on a moment to moment basis. Never be afraid to make a change for the better. RAW

What’s your time worth? BY LAURA AIkEN ANd STEpHANIE BEATTIE

Have you ever wished you had more time to spend with family, friends or even extra time for yourself?

Determine whether or not it’s time for you to hire someone else and indulge in more of life’s precious moments. The Discovery Home & Health channel conducted

a survey in Great Britain that showed cleaning amounts to be an unbelievable 870 hours a year.


RAW

| SEXQuiz What Was Your Inner Diva Quest Score? Match your answers to the key below.

Mostly A’s – The Business Diva You love to be at the centre of business life whether Bay Street or main Street. No matter how big the challenge, you are raring to go because you know you can compete with anyone, anytime. You are not arrogant but have a clear self-awareness of who you are. You thrive in corporate, entreprenurial, sales or government roles.

Mostly B’s – The Domestic Diva Your passion in life is expressed in the context of your home and family. Nothing gives you more joy than seeing the people you love in a functioning, nurturing and positive environment. Your passions lie in one or all of these pursuits: cooking, decorating, parenting, entertaining and community involvement.

Mostly C’s – The Creative Diva You are spiritually attuned and in touch with the creative impulses and passions that run deep within you. You are a receiver of inspirational gifts. What really lights your fire is found in the arts, music, languaga, drama and spiritual practice.

Mostly D’s – The Social Diva Your primary energy and satisfaction comes from your social life outside the home. You’re not necessarily a party animal (although you may be) as it’s really about making connections that counts for you. Often you are the one planning the events because you have a keen sense of what works socially and how to help others have a great time. professions that involve helping others are particularly satisfying for you.

While it’s not paint by numbers, the real es-tate that’s most attention-worthy tells you that there is indeed something to location, location, location. Small wonder a strong majority of women who sign up for my How to Drive your Man Wild with Pleasure workshop obsess over the finer details of the B.J. Assuming that you belong to that majority, allow me to share some tricks with you — my profuse apologies to those who’ve out-grown their oral fixation … or never had it in the first place. First and foremost, gently awaken his pe-nis with tender licks and kisses. Wrap your fingers around the shaft (right near the base) and your lips just above them, forming a tight seal. Use your hand to get a nice up and down rhythm going and the best suction you can manage. Now, start to twirl it in a circular fashion, inside your mouth, while you con-tinue to suck up and down. This is called the cock-screw. But a cock-screw without pop-ping the cock is just half the fun, so be sure to give the head some extra suction every time you get there by gripping the corona (ridge beneath the head) tightly between your lips for extra traction. Speaking of the ridge, the part that peaks up and makes the penile head look like a hel-met is known as the fraenulum. It’s the most sensitive part on the entire penis, so it can act as an on-off switch for his erections. Give it

some extra attention and it’ll explode. Put pressure on it and it’ll slow him down. So lick and flick it with your tongue, declare a tongue war on it and try to wrestle with it, or just work circles on it with the tip of your tongue and he’ll be putty in your hands. But if he tends to fire too quickly, put some Orajel on it to numb him a bit and stay the heck away from it. Once you have his erection under your control, you want to mix it up a bit since vari-ety is the spice of life. If you use your hand to bob it up and down in your mouth while you work the length of its shaft with your tongue, you’ll be doing the dolphin move, as in a dol-phin jumping in and out of water. If you rub the fraenulum against the flat of your tongue, you’ll be doing the postage stamp move — but don’t count on shipping him away since he’ll be digging your tech-nique. If you want to mix it up even more, try a hummer, where your lips vibrate against the head while you make a motor-boat sound with your mouth. And while all this is going on, be sure to attend to his scrote. It’s part of his package so it needs to be played with as well. With your free hand, you can stroke it with a fluffy glove, buff it with silk panties, or vibrate it with your fingers (finger vibrators make it even better). Think it can’t get any hotter? Think again. Thus far you’ve only played with the touch

sensitive nerve endings, with nothing regis-tering on the other half of his nerve endings that only respond to temperature changes. To awaken them, have an Altoid or indulge in a minty mouthwash. With your cold mouth and warm breath, you’ll give him the kind of hot and cold treatment he digs. Now reverse your breathing — in through the mouth and out through the nose — and you’ll be able to deep-throat him. Of course your eyes can never leave his, just as your mouth and hands need to keep working on his penis to create a symphony of sensations. So exactly what’s the best position to ac-complish this fabulous feat? You in a chair, him standing in front of you. Of course what-ever your position, whatever your tune, be sure to bag the goods if you’re not sure of where they’ve been, ‘cause what you can catch via your lower lips, you can catch via your up-per lips’. Happy lip-o-suction!

Rebecca Rosenblat is well known as one of Canada’s leading relationship, sexuality, and healing experts, who has reached a captive audience of millions across North America. She is currently hosting a bi-weekly, live, call-in TV show – Sex @ 11. Rebecca is a certified psychotherapist, life coach, educator, author and relationship and sexuality therapist.

Blowing him away BY REBECCA ROSENBLAT

Call it a B.J. or call it giving head, but the quest for blowing him away the right way is a hot topic. I tried to get to the bottom of this oral obsession by exploiting my position as the host of a sex show on talk radio for guys. Caller after caller, I was told that physically speak-ing, nothing leaves a more memorable impression than the perfect B.J. and nothing leaves as bad a taste as an ill-performed one — no pun intended.

What Is Your Diva Type? Check off each statement that is true for you. Afterwards, total up how many true statements you made for A, B, C and D to reveal your true diva nature.

I enjoy persuading others. (A) Fmy home is a place friends come in good times or bad. (B) FI need more time to be alone. (C) FI enjoy having people visit my home. (B) FI am energized whenever I am in a group. (d) FI love to read books, listen to music or walk by myself. (C) FI know how to use personal power effectively. (A) FOthers ask me to help them organize events. (d) FI have or want to start my own business. (A) FI am always redecorating my home — even if it’s only in my mind. (B) FI delight in doing visual arts. (C) FI do not like being alone. (d) FI am inspired to hear or see what others have created. (C) FI know most of the people in my neighbourhood. (B) Fpeople always want to be around me. (d) FI think the role of government is very important. (A) FI am at my best when I am with others. (d) FI love earning money. (A) FI love to prepare food for others and see them enjoy my cooking. (B) FI enjoy family time most of all. (B) FI have made it a priority to develop my spiritual self. (C) FI find satisfaction organizing social events. (D) FI love to perform. (C) FI like being in the business world. (A) F


Exotic dancing’s home in the land of fuzzy lines can wreak havoc for women in their relation-ships through the threat of infidelity, perceived or real. Like looking at a beautiful model in the pages of a magazine, a woman’s sense of self-worth and security can be challenged by some-one who is a professional at turning men on. The notion of her partner going to a strip club can be uncomfortable to a woman for a variety of valid reasons. “I think a man going to strip club — wheth-er that’s cheating or not — depends on his par-ticular relationship,” says Alison Lee, manager of the progressive feminist sex shop Good for Her in Toronto. “If his partner is okay with it, then it’s not cheating. If his partner is not okay with it and thinks it’s cheating, then maybe that’s cheating if it’s going outside the agree-ment of the relationship. It doesn’t have to be. I think it’s an expression of public eroticism.” At the root of it is the fact that every woman has her own personal boundary in relationships that should be respected by the partner.

“I think that understanding all women are different in their boundaries around engaging in that kind of entertainment is important,” says Lee. “Then being able to trust your partner and for your partner to be able to live up to that trust.” Some women are completely comfortable with their significant other being at a strip club or even being at one themselves. It can feel like nothing more than a sexy locker room (where you’ll definitely face more than one bum cheek in your proximity if you visit a gym with any regularity). Again, it’s personal but the wom-en who couldn’t care less about their honey’s night out at a strip club are probably sleeping much sounder than the ones who are imagin-ing the worst. Part of the problem may lie in not having been to a strip club themselves to make sure the mental picture envisioned matches the truth. “I think because many women are not fa-miliar with the environment, they have differ-ent ideas of what could happen. I’m sure in a lot of gentleman’s clubs there’s the space for

sexual activity to happen but then there’s the very hands-off experience where you’re watch-ing a very beautiful woman do a very sexy dance and that can be seen almost like going to see the ballet but with less clothes. In that vein it’s not so frightening,” says Lee. To get a little closer to the pole truth, at least in the way of one example, the RAW roundtable called for an evening of investigation at Crossovers in Barrie, Ont. With varying levels of strips clubs on the market, we settled on what would be considered an average place to go, not too upscale nor reputably dirty. Two female perspectives — have and have not been to a strip club before — committed to the task on a crisp Saturday night. The cab driver double checked that their destination wasn’t a mistake when they got in the van, confused by their conservative dress and lack of men in tow. The mission at hand was ex-plained — provide a first-hand look from the female perspective for RAW readers whose only information about strip clubs has come

HISTORY OF EXOTIC DANCING IN ONTARIO

1950s: Burlesque or striptease made its debut in Ontario. Showgirls performed for theatre audiences through costume, move-ments and seductively taking their clothes off. dancers and audience were physically separated by the stage and seats.

1960s and 1970s: Theatre burlesque performances gradually died off as the industry moved to small stages in bars. The styles of dance, level of nudity, and closeness to the audience varied across Canadian provinces, with Quebec known for more skin and proximity than other areas. By the late 1970s, showgirls were performing in bars or strip clubs and paid based on the number of shows they did or were touring a circuit of clubs where they danced a set number of shows as feature performers. While the striptease included at least one song performed topless, a G-string stayed on and that was where customers would place tips.

1980s and beyond: Various court chal-lenges resulted in removal of the G-string and allowance of total nudity in clubs. They also moved dancers off the stage and onto the main floor or private rooms. Here dancers perform table or lap dances. In lap dances, dancers come in direct albeit legally regulated physical contact with customers.

Source, Exotic Dancing in Ontario: Health and Safety

The Pole Truth BY LAURA AIkEN

Strip clubs: also known as titty bars, rippers, skin bars, girly bars, nudie bars, go-go bars or gentleman’s clubs. Legal yet often assumed to harbour the illegal, from immigrants to prostitution and drugs. Frowned upon but also widely accepted, shrouded in mystery while baring it all — strip clubs have all the ingredients of the ultimate grey area.


from television or their partner. Intrigued, the cab driver said he and his friends generally go to Crossovers to play pool and enjoy the entertain-ment but don’t spend very long there because he feels the drinks are pricey. He said not to be sur-prised by how many girls were there as customers and that there seemed to be more young couples there than in previous decades. Off to an informative and correct start. There were many girls there as patrons (al-though the drinks were cheaper than expected). More than 25 per cent of the people sitting at tables were women who appeared to be with their significant other. The majority of the crowd at this particular club on this evening looked to be in their early twenties, with the odd senior citizen camped out alone on a stool. There was one woman sitting near the stage but otherwise “pervert’s row” (as the single bar style seating surrounding the stage is commonly known) was occupied by a gaggle of college-age guys who were pretty quiet for the majority of the evening, only gathering up the steam to do a little hollering once 1:00 am rolled around. This is about the time most of the couples dwindled out and the atmosphere picked up its charge. “It was less trashy than I expected to begin with but it got a little trashier over the course of the night,” relayed our first-timer. “The guys were so nonchalant. That kind of surprised me. My husband had told me that’s the way it is but I didn’t really believe it.” The biggest shocker was the girls them-selves. Stripper stereotypes didn’t hold up here. There wasn’t an implant in the place or even large natural breasts for that matter. We’re sure this is not the case across the board at clubs, but it’s useful to know mythically sized breasts are not necessarily the standard. According to our experienced club-goer, other strip clubs she had been to were similar to this on the boob front. Strippers as presented in movies are just that — actors, not necessarily real life. The speakers boomed an eclectic mix of popular bar tunes and retro anthems, each lithe dancer performing a few tunes in escalat-ing scintillation. The rowdiness level here was light years away from a traditional bar scene of tequila induced shouting, groping and general-ly embarrassing oneself. Subdued, or perhaps mesmerized in cases, these club guests proved themselves a polite bunch of spectators. After each woman was finished her set, she would stroll into the crowd and invariably be chosen

by someone for a lap dance in a private area to the right of the stage (physical contact is al-lowed but legally regulated). Some of the dance moves themselves are pretty impressive. They might not be up to “So You Think You Can Dance” standards but these women were clearly in control of their body parts, even when upside down. Notably, dancers wiped the poles down before they started. Turns out this is actually a recommen-dation made by the Adult Entertainment As-sociation of Canada and clubs are supposed to provide these wipes. Most of the dancers were also very particular with their clothing, stack-ing each piece carefully by the DJ booth as it was removed. There were no panties wildly flung into the crowd on this night. “It was tamer than expected but I don’t know if I feel any differently.” says out first-tim-er. “I trust my husband but still don’t like the idea of him going. It’s not enough that I would stop him if he has a stag or something to go to. I didn’t feel uncomfortable at the strip club and that surprised me.” And her verdict: “If it’s driving you crazy, yes go. I’d already accepted the fact that my husband was going to go sometimes before, but if I had seen it earlier it might have helped me relax a little bit.” Strip clubs are far from the only opportu-nity that sexy naked people show up in our own partner’s lives. We’re bombarded by sex-ual images in the mass media, more explicitly now as exposure over time has eroded our sen-sitivities. The presence of nudity isn’t enough to make an otherwise faithful man take a bath in infidelity. Remember, there are plenty of op-portunities to cheat in the regular bar scene, where a woman shaking it in front of your man actually might want to date him not just clean out his wallet. An exotic dancer is there to earn money, not meet a new boyfriend. “Because we assume that all strippers are just naturally ‘slutty’ or whatever means that it’s seen as more of a threat. And also that these women are professionally sexy — I think that that can feel threatening to a woman that isn’t so secure in her own sexuality, her own attrac-tiveness in general or her partner’s desire for her. It could throw all those things in to ques-tion,” says Lee. Rather than question — yourself or your partner — consider gathering a first-hand im-pression of the exotic dancing scene. The con-clusion is always going to be up to you. RAW


Ask Steph Continued from page 7

A: I want to first acknowledge your courage to keep moving forward. What is it about your previous occupation that you love? How can you bring that creative energy into something new? Our jobs do not define us, we define the job. Look for common threads, be clear about what you want and breathe. This may be opening up doors for you that you aren’t aware of yet. You need the CBA’s: Clarity, Belief and Action. To reach new dreams, you need to get clear in your mind, believe in yourself and take massive and immediate action. Clarifying means creatively visualizing exactly what you would like your new life to look like. To cement the belief in your vision, it helps to talk to people who have reached their goals. It will inspire you to hear they too have had dis-sapointments and curveballs thrown at them in life. Taking action is to set specific goals that act as targets and present your dream as a realistic and tangible course of action for you.

Then ignite the passions that move and inspire you. In moving towards this new clarity, ask yourself, “What in my life feels suffocating?” Resolve these issues and you will feel freer to move forward. It’s important to clean up the areas of your life that no longer serve the new one you are trying to achieve. Remember, all you can do is your best. Personal growth isn’t easy, but it’s the best investment you can make in yourself.

Q: I have my first big presentation coming up at work. Like most people, I am terrified of public speaking. I really want to make a good impression. Can you give me some tips to boost my confidence? —Lindsay, Barrie

A: Way to go! You have been chosen for the front of the room so know that you are already fabulous in having been selected. I have a few tips for you. Set the stage and identify what the presentation will cover so your audience

knows upfront what they are going to be lis-tening to. Remember to breathe while you are speaking. It is okay to pause accordingly when emphasizing key points and there is absolutely no need to rush. End the presentation by sum-marizing the information you delivered. For the actual presentation itself, don’t clog the text with too many cumbersome words that don’t impart meaning to the audi-ence. Don’t use words you find difficult to pronounce. Written and oral presentations are different, so it’s important to read aloud as you are writing. It helps to memorize your speech for your own confidence and to impress the audience but don’t worry if you need to refer to your notes. When you are delivering your speech, be sure to look back and forth and deep and shallow into the audience so you covered seeing the whole group. Vary the pitch and speed of your voice while switching up the tempo to better engage everyone. Remember, confidence comes with experience. Face your fears and they truly will start to disappear.

The Oxford dictionary defines etiquette quite simply: “Conventional rules of personal behav-iour in polite society.” Some of the rationales of conventional polite behaviour may seem outdated by today’s standards. Why do gentle-men walk on the curbside of a sidewalk when strolling with a lady? Long ago the idea was to protect the woman from falling garbage. In to-day’s culture, being farther from traffic makes the female’s position safer. The same idea of protection of the female is the order of Mr. and Mrs. by thrusting the male portion of the rela-tionship out first to the public; whereas, a third party should refer to the female first out of deference when using first names, for example, Mary and John Soandso. All this sounds sexist by current thinking, but consider the intent of these practices. I believe the basis of all good manners should be to create guidelines that make life easier. Knowing what is expected eases tension and makes life more gracious. At a formal din-ner party, knowing which fork to use erases embarrassment for all concerned, however, no one should point out another’s faux pas

should the situation arise. That would be impo-lite. In other words, people following the intent of etiquette should always strive to empower others with a sense of belonging and community. It is disappointing that certain rules of conduct have been fading as of late. Take the ‘thank you’ note as an example. I believe every gift deserves a hand written (yes, snail mailed pen to paper) note to acknowledge the thoughtfulness of the giver. A quick e-mail doesn’t have personal appreciative texture. If someone took the time to choose a present it should be mentioned in the note. What if you don’t like or want the gift? Remember, it is not the gift but the thought that counts. I hate to admit this, but a relative of mine excused her children from writing Christmas thank you notes several years ago due to their busy schedules. This set a bad precedent and not another note has come my way since. Within my family, it is categorically stated that the quality of the next gift would reflect the qual-ity of the last note. Other instances where a hand written note is the only appropriate response are af-

ter a meal at someone’s home or after an act of kindness. E-mails are quickly deleted and forgotten. Letters and notes, although open to misinterpretation (just like e-mail), are tactile in nature and likely to be viewed many times over. I attached to my daytimer a note from a lady I much admire thanking me for becom-ing her friend. I carry it with me for the warm, fuzzy feeling it gives me to look at her words. Just seeing the stationary is comforting. If she had called or e-mailed her sentiments, it would not have had the same lasting effect. Etiquette evolves through time and geog-raphy. It’s as important to understand what is polite in your community as you would in a for-eign society. In some parts of the world, a lack of proper behaviour is downright dangerous. _______________________________

Send me your questions, opinions and observations on the elapsed art of etiquette. I promise to answer your queries using my best opinion and research. I hope you let me know what you think — pro or con — of my humble words. [email protected]

The Elapsed Art of EtiquetteBy Tristan Brown

Sometimes it seems as though good old fashioned manners have taken a societal nose-dive right along with common sense. Yet understanding the rules of the ancient and elapsed art of etiquette will take you much farther in life than your last Facebook post.

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Our picks of cool stuff do to from March until June. march 6 East Coast Charity Ball, Berkeley Church, Toronto This event raises money for local children’s charities while providing a venue for Atlantic Canadians and friends to get together for a night of East Coast style fun. Cost: $50 for gala only or $125 for dinner and party www.eastcoastcharityball.ca

march 10-14 Canadian Music Fest, Toronto/GTA Check out Canadian artists such as Our Lady peace, Bedouin Soundclash, The Trews, k-OS and many more at this week long celebration of Canadian music. The event is being billed as access to 700 artists at 45 clubs over five nights with just one wristband. Cost: TBA www.cmw.net

march 11-13 TELUS Triple Challenge Freestyle Ski & Snowboard Festival, Blue Mountain Resort, Collingwood Three days of slope-style, super technical rail jam, big air, spring riding, a brand new concert line-up and, of course, the after parties mark this annual event. pro-athletes from across the globe battle it out for over $50,000 in cash and prizes. Cost: Free to see from the base www.bluemountain.ca/triplechallenge

march 15-20 LG Fashion Week, Fall Collections 2010, Toronto Runway, runway and more runway. Go early. From our experience, seats fill up fast. Cost: TBA www.lgfashionweek.ca

march 17-21 Canada Blooms, Direct Energy Centre at Exhibition Place, Toronto Touted as Canada’s largest and most prestigious flower and garden festival, this show features six acres of gardens in full bloom plus plenty of vendors to spend your green with. Seminars, demonstrations and workshops to help you become a better gardener (or stop killing your plants) run all five days. Cost: $18 for adults, $16 for students and seniors, evening discount available http://canadablooms.com

march 19-21 Toronto Wine & Cheese Show, International Centre, Toronto Sample a delectable selection of gourmet cuisine, wines, beers, and spirits while learning more about the food and booze through seminars on pairing, mixing and more. parking is free but don’t forget your dd. Cost: $16 online, $18 at the door www.towineandcheese.com

march 27 PROM Noir, Royal Ontario Museum, Toronto The Young patrons’ Circle (YpC) is hosting a night of dark glamour and historical fantasy for PROM Noir, the YPC’s fifth annual fundraiser. Inspired by the ROm’s collection of winged creatures from the soon-to-be revamped Bat Cave, pROm Noir anticipates hundreds of YpC members and guests for a step back into the old Hollywood era themed party. Cost: $125 for YpC members, $150 for non-members, VIp tickets also available www.rom.on.ca

march 31-April 4 One of a Kind Spring Show & Sale, Direct Energy Centre at Exhibition Place, Toronto One of a kind shows are perfect for finding a bevy of unique artisanal products all under one roof. This consumer show of artisanal handiwork runs twice a year in Toronto (spring and winter), and is also held in Chicago, Vancouver and New York. Cost: $10 for adults, $6.50 for students http://oneofakindshow.com

April 2-4 The All About Pets Show, International Centre, Toronto This pet lover’s paradise features everything from the latest products to canine Flyball and feline competitions.Cost: $12 for adults, $8 for youth and seniors, kids under five are free and family passes are available for $35 www.allaboutpetsshow.com

April 9-11 Fitness & Lifestyle Show, Western Fair Entertainment Centre, London Here’s an opportunity to get interactive with exercise equipment and personal trainers just in time for swimsuit season. This event focuses on overall wellness and lifestyle changes that lead to a healthier you. Cost: $10 in advance, $12 at the door www.westernfair.com

April 10 Representing All Women workshop, Las Vegas, NV; June 10, Barrie, ON How would you change your life if you actually believed in your dreams? Representing All Women presents Create Your Future Now, a signature workshop by Stephanie Beattie. Cost: Starting at $99 www.representingallwomen.com

April 10 MeFest, Waterloo Memorial Recreation Complex, Waterloo This one-day pampering and lifestyle show offers tons of great shopping, information, draws and freebies. Cost: $5 or $3 with a food bank donation http://mefest.blogspot.com

April 13 and may 18 FastLane Networking, Location TBA, Toronto FastLane is a networking program held several evenings a year for young professionals in the GTA. A variety of

people from different industries gather to meet, trade tips, and make contacts. Ticket includes complimentary drink and appetizer. April’s theme is volunteering. Cost: $25 in advance, $35 at the door www.fastlaneevents.ca

April 14-18 ReelWorld Film Festival, Toronto/GTA This five-day cultural celebration screens features, shorts, documentaries, animation and music videos from the Aboriginal, Asian, Black, Latino, middle Eastern, South Asian and other multi-racial communities. This year’s event marks the 10th anniversary of this festival, which was founded by actor Tonya Lee Williams. Cost: $10 for regular show tickets, full VIp packages and festival passes available www.reelworld.ca

April 24 ELLE Event, The Carlu, Toronto This full day of runway shows, seminars and shopping was designed for the fashion diva. Attendees will find over 50 fashion and beauty exhibitors alongside a line-up of hot designers. day ticket includes a boxed lunch and the evening entails the Toronto Fashion Incubator New Labels gala night. Cost: $35 for day ticket, $55 for day and cocktail, $255 for VIp day and evening dinner www.ellecanada.com/show

April 29-may 9 Hot Docs Canadian International Documentary Festival, Toronto Hot docs is billed as North America’s largest documentary festival and conference. Each year more than 150 films from Canada and around the globe are presented in conjunction with a mix of public and professional events. Cost: $98 for 10 tickets plus free late night, $160 for access to all films www.hotdocs.ca

may | All weekends 2010 Wine & Herb Festival, Niagara-on-the-Lake This event is an informal celebration of pairing great wine and fresh herbs. participants will spend a weekend touring 21 wineries with each vineyard sampling a different herb-themed food pairing matched to a premium wine. Cost: $35 for tour pass, early bird rate of $30 until April 24 http://wineriesofniagaraonthelake.com

may 29-30 Doors Open Toronto, Toronto One hundred and fifty buildings of architectural, historic, cultural and/or social significance are opening their doors to the public. Now is your chance to sneak a peek behind usually closed doors. Cost: Free www.toronto.ca/doorsopen

CONTINUED ON PAGE 29

EVENTS Serving up fun at the 2009 Toronto Wine & Cheese Show

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Underneath it allGet fitted for proper size undergarments. Yes, it is going to cost a bit of money, especially if you’re heavier in the bust line. A good high quality bra can and will cost between $75 and $200. Don’t be alarmed by this cost. Believe me it is worth it to have the girls up high in a bra that fits well, not just in the back but at the sides and with straps that won’t cut your shoulders and arms off.

The wardrobeDo a once-over inspection of your current wardrobe. Are there pieces that don’t fit with the rest of your wardrobe choices? Are there pieces that just don’t fit? If your clothes do not fit you well and tailor to your body type, then get rid of them. I know this is easier said than done. Many, many women have multiple “closets” in their home or storage areas for their clothes. At one point in time, I had four sets of clothes. The first set was the day to day, normal wear to work and at home clothes. About 70 per cent fit me. Then in my son’s room I had the mommy clothes I wore when pregnant (that was five years ago) and the ones that were cozy comfy, oversized but just plain not me. In the guest room I had the fantasy cloth-ing line that I wore about 15 years ago, kept in case I was ever a size eight again. This wardrobe is old, not trendy and some clothes still have price tags on them. The last closet is in my tele-vision room and those clothes are the “I may wear this prom dress again” collection. It’s full of leather jackets, suede pants, prom dress…more items that I have not worn in more than 15 years. As Stevie Nicks has said: “My fashion choices were always clear. I always knew what I was going to wear on-stage.” Try everything on. Is it flattering? Does it fit you without being too tight? Do you have pieces that go together? Are your pieces fresh, assertive, colourful? Do they make you feel good? If you are unsure, have a girl’s night. Play dress up for your closest friends and get their opinions. From Stacy London on tele-vision’s What Not to Wear “Wear what will fit your body today.”

ShoesThere are five sets of essential shoes that ev-ery diva must own. A good walking/running shoe, a pair of stilettos (any heel height you are comfortable with), a flat walking shoe, flip flops and dressy flat shoes. Of course there are many more options, but these are the essentials. Spend your money wisely on shoes that are comfortable, wear well, and go with a lot of your wardrobe. Cheap shoes will not be comfortable and will cost more since they may not last. Here is my simple rule. If you’re going to wear open toe shoes, please, for everyone who will see your feet, get a pedicure. Even if you need to do it yourself, keep your feet looking fabulous.

MakeupMakeup is absolutely essential. You may have felt like most people at some point in your life — that makeup takes too long to apply, have no idea how to wear it or it costs too much money. Maybe you have decided you have no time to put it on or perhaps the truth is you may just be too lazy to bother. Do you have any idea how a tiny bit of makeup changes how you look? In an instant! If you are prone to never ever wear any make-up, why not try these three simple steps: mas-cara, a light foundation (powder or liquid) and lip gloss. These three steps take just a minute to ap-ply! In fact, less is usually more, especially if you do not know what you’re doing. I have al-ways believed that you want people to notice your eyes not your makeup. I do not believe there is a special time to wear makeup; wear what makes you feel wonderful and fabulous. A little goes a long way! There are three steps to getting yourself connected to the right makeup for you. First, go see a professional and have them do your face up, if you can afford it. Most companies provide a full application for a $40 product purchase. I started to purchase pieces, one at a time, until I built the collection I have now. Secondly, choose colours based on your eye colour, face tone, and what makes you feel good. Choose eye colour that matches your eyes, not your clothes. Finally, buy makeup within your budget. If

you can’t afford to go to a professional coun-ter, then have someone who is into makeup help you get started. There are many good brands that are inexpensive. Just remember that quality doesn’t cost, it pays!

Feel GoodOf course, dressing in fine clothes and living the diva-chic lifestyle is a great thing and feel-ing. But your public image is not just about those material things and what you’re wear-ing. It is also about who you spend time with, how you spend your money, the way you treat people and, of course, how you behave while being the ultimate diva.

If you’re interested in reading more of You can have it all: Unleash your inner diva by Stephanie Beattie, visit www.representingallwomen.com to purchase online for $19.95.

Stephanie Beattie is a diva – and she’s proud of it. She’s a seminar speaker and dream coach dedicated to people reaching their dreams through insight and moti-vation. Her seminars and coaching across North America are part of her Representing All Women project. Stephanie is also a successful businesswoman as CEO of The Center For Disaster Recovery where the construction and insur-ance industry goes to learn how to handle floods, fires and other property damage. In what has traditionally been a man’s industry – Stephanie has broken down walls and exploded ceilings that have kept many women out of

this industry. She knows how to communicate to any audience and challenge men

and women. But her special passion is to help women learn how to have it all as they

discover and unleash their inner diva. Stephanie and her son live in Ontario, Canada.

www.representingallwomen.com

“Stephanie Beattie is the living testimonial to “Having it ALL”. She truly defines self accountability, self

motivation, and the self fulfilling prophecy. Her command of the stage is inspiring. This is a must have

for all women and men as well. I wouldn’t walk to her next seminar, I would run. Watch the radar screen

closely, this is one Diva that will make her mark on the world.”

Doug Caporrino, International Speaker and Trainer to the Stars

“Stephanie’s message is both practical and inspiring. Her book provides many valuable lessons to help

you really create the life of your dreams!”

Marcia Wieder, CEO/Founder, Dream University®

“Stephanie has a way of helping you realize and believe that what you want in life is not only possible

but that you actually can have it - and you deserve it! A great resource for all women out there that are

on the path or thinking of getting on the path to follow their dreams!!”

Elisa Palombi, Executive Coach, Founder BIGLife Group

2040007809819

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BOOK COVER & TEXT DESIGN BY: EXPRESSIONS CUSTOM PUBLICATIONS www.expressionscustompublications.com

Stephanie Beattie

Self-improvement SNEAk pEEk

Don’t just dress for success, dress like you mean it. Find out what that means in this excerpt on wardrobe essentials from the book You can have it all: Unleash your inner diva, a new personal power guide by Stephanie Beattie.

Dress like you mean it We know that clothes really do not make the person but like the frame on a picture, what you choose to wear can either bring out the person you really are or distract from it. Dress-ing well will bring the focus on you and your face rather than distracting from your beauty inside and out. Often people wear bizarre clothes as a strategy to get people to look at the accessories rather than themselves. It is often a sign of a poor self-image. You can give yourself the edge that will get you the attention you deserve. My grandmother used to tell me all the time about how her “good” jewelry was in

the safety deposit box. Are you kidding me? Why — so she could wear it twice a year? I learned this a long, long time ago. I don’t believe you have to save your expensive per-fume, best jewelry and great fancies. I love my jewelry and my bling! I love my stuff — having it, using it, wearing it. I love my high heel shoes, and in fact wear them as often as I can. You do not need a special occasion to enjoy your belongings. I don’t wait for an-other time or a special occasion. Remember, “someday” is not on the calendar!

Here are a few helpful hints to get you on your way.


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Let’s begin by testing your first impression awareness. What would you think of a restau-rant server in the following situation? You’re having a business lunch with a potential cli-ent. She’s telling you what she doesn’t like about her current supplier. You’re thinking, “This stuff is gold, please keep talking.” Suddenly, the server comes in and starts his canned speech: “My name’s Mike, I’ll be your waiter. And how are you today? Today’s specials include...” Chances are, your first impression of the waiter would be negative. In fact, that wait-er’s speech is a great example of what not to do when meeting someone for the first time. Ironically, he was probably doing just what he was told to do. The problem with the canned script ap-proach is the customer recognizes a script, senses the employee has no genuine feeling or empathy for what the customer really needs and therefore does not trust (or in the case of our waiter, even like) the employee. Instead of canned speeches, use a 30 second technique that generates trust, feelings of empa-thy and makes people want to do business with you. Unfortunately, there’s been a lot of mislead-ing information out there about this method. Let’s get the real story about how and why you can get such phenomenal results when you prop-erly use the technique known as ‘mirroring’. Mirroring is based on the assumption that we tend to feel comfortable with people who communicate non-verbally the way we do. In

other words, we are drawn to people when their body language (gestures, tone of voice, facial expressions, eye contact, dress, and so on) is similar to ours. By the same token, we tend to be turned off by people whose non-verbal language is different than ours. For example, if you are en-gaged in a quiet conversation with a friend at a party, you will probably perceive the person who has a loud, boisterous voice bellowing in the background as being obnoxious. The great news is we are in control of our non-verbal interactions. To create rapport with others instantly, we merely need to mir-ror their non-verbal communication. That means if the other person talks softly, then you talk more softy. If they lean forward, then you lean forward. If they talk quickly then you do the same. In other words, you mirror the other person’s tone of voice and body lan-guage. The only exception is when they are angry. In that situation, you wouldn’t mirror anger; you’d instead mirror concern. In the case of our waiter, if he’d been trained with the mirroring technique, he wouldn’t have started talking until his customers ceased their conversation and made eye contact with him. Then he would have mirrored the serious-ness of the mood they conveyed, skipped the opening canned speech, gotten directly to the point and asked “Something to drink?” His customers would have appreciated the waiter’s businesslike approach and felt good about their

choice of restaurant.There are a few things to keep in mind though when we use mirroring. First, mir-roring does not mean mimicking. If the oth-er person is sitting with arms folded across their chest, you may have yours crossed on your lap. Don’t mirror the person exactly, just similarly. That prevents people from thinking they’re being imitated. It may come as a relief to know that you don’t have to mirror the other person for lon-ger than a few moments. Once they become comfortable with you, you can actually start leading the non-verbal communication and they’ll start to follow you. If you have a friend who is tired or listless, start the conversation in a low slow manner. After a few minutes, gradually pick up the tempo. Your friend will feel so comfortable with you that they’ll natu-rally do the same. This is great news, particu-larly if you interact with lots of people. Mirroring is easy and it works. When you use it properly, you’ll improve the impression you make on virtually anyone, regardless of their mood or the situation. You’ll also ex-perience the personal satisfaction of making a stranger feel comfortable. That’s when you begin making truly important connections.

This article is based on the critically acclaimed book Becoming a Service Icon in 90 minutes a Month by customer service strategist and professional speaker Jeff Mowatt. To obtain your own copy of his book or to inquire about engaging Jeff for your team, visit www.jeffmowatt.com or call 1-800-JMOWATT.

We all know the power of first impressions. How people perceive us during the first few seconds of an encounter has a major influence on whether they will trust us, be attracted to us or want to do business with us. To create a positive first impression, we need to know how to connect im-mediately with others regardless of their age, gender, ethnic background, mood or the situation.

Create rapport with anyone in under 30 seconds BY JEFF mOWATT

EVENTS CONTINUED FROM PAGE 25

may 29-30 Barrie Waterfront Festival, Barrie 2010 marks the sixth year for Barrie’s annual kick-off to the summer. Featuring live bands playing a variety of music, street buskers, midway rides and plenty of face painting fun and games for the kids. Cost: Free www.barriewaterfront.ca

may 30 Toronto Women’s Half Marathon and 5k, Sunnybrook Park, Toronto Ladies, get ready to run your hearts out. It will be worth it for a pit stop to quench your thirst at the firefighters’ water station and have a nibble at the new chocolate station. Fundraise and help reach the race goal of raising more than $50,000 this year for the pediatric Oncology Group of Ontario. Cost: $40 if you pay by April 30, $45 until may 29, fundraising opportunities available www.towomensruns.com

June 4-6 The Beer & Cocktail Show, Downsview Park, Toronto A showcase of brewers and a big spirit lounge, live music, tournaments and games. Bottoms up! Cost: $25 general admission, ticket packages available www.beerandcocktailshow.com

June 11-20 Luminato, Toronto Luminato is an annual 10-day celebration of the arts that fills stages, streets, and public spaces with theatre, dance, classical and contemporary music, film, literature, visual arts, and design. Luminato brings artistic collaboration to the forefront and encourages the creative spirits of all through attendees “accidental” encounters with artists. Cost: mix of free and ticketed performances www.luminato.com

June 16-20 NXNE – North by Northeast, Toronto An eclectic mix of new and emerging talent in music and film dominate this big time party billed as 625 bands, 40 films and 50 venues over five days. movies are music related. Festival alumni include Sloan, Broken Social Scene, GZA, peaches and Blue Rodeo. Cost: $150 for priority pass that gives front of line access, $50 for regular five-day wristband www.nxne.com

June 24-July 7 Ottawa International Jazz Festival, Ottawa This premier music event in the heart of the nation’s capital celebrates turning 30 this year. The 2009 event drew a crowd of 262,000 and the landmark 25th anniversary event in 2005 featured the likes of Harry Connick Jr. and diana krall. Cost: Various — passes and single tickets. www.ottawajazzfestival.com

June 25-July 4 Toronto Jazz Festival, Toronto This musical celebration attracts over 500,000 annually. Toronto downtown Jazz, who produces the festival, has presented over 20,000 mostly Canadian artists to captive ears over the past two decades. Cost: Various — passes and single tickets www.tojazz.com

June 25-July 4 Pride Week, Toronto Featuring 10 days of arts and cultural programming, community activities, one of the world’s largest street festivals, pride parade, dyke march, family programming and much more. Get out your noisemakers! Cost: Free to see www.pridsetoronto.com

_______________________________

Is there a cool event going on in your hometown that you’d like to recommend?

Email us at [email protected]

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Janice Honeyman, BA, FMA, FCSIInvestment Advisor, Private Client Division , Research Capital Corporation199 Bay Street, Suite 4500, Commerce Court West, P.O. Box 368, Toronto, ON, M5L 1G2

Tel: 416-860-7781, Fax: 416-860-7671email: [email protected]

JANICE HONEYMANSENIOR FINANCIAL ADVISOR

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“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”

- mAE WESTApril 2-4, 2010

International Centre, Toronto, Canada6900 Airport Road at Derry - FREE Parking!

For more information contact us at 289-878-6809 or visit our website www.allaboutpetsshow.com

The first 1,000 visitors each day toToronto’s Easter Family Pet Festival willreceive a FREE value Pet Coupon Book!

2010 Feature Attractions:• ROYAL CANIN CHAMPIONSHIP CAT SHOW and HOUSEHOLD PET CAT SHOW, sanctioned by the Canadian Cat

Association in it's 50th year. Over 100 cats will be competing all three days.

• Visit the Canadian Kennel Club’s DOG DEMONSTRATION RING where you can learn how to become a juniorhandler and see: Some Ruff Competition’s North American Flyball Association sanctioned flyball tournamentsponsored by Global Pet Foods! Also, host to the Parade of Breeds.

• Show visitors can interact with over 30 purebred dogs, breeders and breed club members in BREEDER'S ROW.sponsored by Ren’s Pet Depot.

• CENTRE STAGE sponsored by Milk-Bone - featuring the Doggie Q Fashion Show and educational seminars.

• PET ADOPTION sponsored by Pet Valu - Adoption specialists will be onhand to help you find that perfect family pet in need of a new home.

• Pickup grooming tips and see seminars in the PET GROOMINGSHOWCASE sponsored by Centaur VA Animal Health.

• TOTAL PET CARE STAGE sponsored by The Great Canadian Pet FoodCompany - featuring special guest speaker, Dr. Stanley Coren, world-renowneddog behavior expert Fri/Sat/Sun.

• ASK THE TRAINER - Time and Patience Dog Training seminars and certified trainers will be on hand to answer your questions.

• Talk to the parrots and watch the macaws, meet breeders and breed clubmembers with a beautiful array of birds on display at the WORLD OF BIRDS.

• Meet over 160 exhibitors with show specials on pet products and services.

2010 Show Sponsors:

ADMISSION PRICES:

Adults: $12Seniors (60+): $8Youths (10-17) $8Children Under 5: FreeFamily Pass(2 Adults & 2 Youths): $35

SHOW HOURS:

Friday: 10 am – 6 pmSaturday: 10 am – 6 pmSunday: 10 am – 5 pm

Regrettably, visitors arenot permitted to bring their

pets to the show.

Visit our websiteto sign up for our FREEpet e-newsletter and

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0201-RAW 2/3/10 4:27 PM Page 1

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