Bridging the Great Divide: Unlocking the Differences in

Male and Female Communication

Moderated by: Margaret Resce MilkintManaging Partner

Source: “Cathy” Cartoon

Margaret Resce MilkintManaging Partner

The Jacobson Group

• Margaret handles executive management and actuarial searches on a global basis for the organization's retained search practice.

• Margaret co-founded the Women’s Insurance Networking Group (WING), a platform for networking among the insurance industry’s female leaders and enlightened males.

• Margaret's expertise on career and recruiting issues is widely-recognized throughout the industry and she is often called upon to share her perspectives and insights.

Joe BouresPresident and CEO

Healthcare Solutions

• Joe is responsible for providing direction and oversight for the organization’s corporate strategy, product offerings and overall operations.

• Joe has more than 20 years of experience working in financial and operational leadership positions within the workers’ compensation market.

• Joe received his bachelor’s degree in accounting from Lycoming College in Williamsport, Pennsylvania. Joe is also a certified public accountant and chartered financial analyst.

Kim RadcliffePresident

Align Networks

• Working at Align Networks since 2006, Kim is credited with the creation, development and evolution of Align Networks’ Gold Standard Review program—a clinical oversight program that monitors quality of care, treatment patterns, appropriateness of care.

• Kim has more than 15 years of experience in management and leadership in both the clinical and corporate setting.

• She received her bachelor’s degree in physical therapy from the University of Florida and her master’s in health administration from the University of North Florida.

Patrick J. WalshSenior VP and Chief Claims Officer

Accident Fund Holdings, Inc.

• Patrick oversees claims strategy and management of shared claims functions between the holding company’s four brands.

• Since 2014, Patrick has served as an Advisory Board Member for the National Workers’ Compensation and Disability Conference and Expo. Additionally, he serves as Chairman of the Board of Make-A-Wish Wisconsin and is a volunteer Wish Granter. He has also been active in United Way and the St. Baldrick’s Foundation.

• Patrick holds a bachelor’s degree in organizational communications from the University of Akron.

Pamela J. RippensVP of Strategy and Business Development

IWP

• Pamela is responsible for the company’s ongoing business strategy implementation, acquisition identification and integration, product enhancement and development, as well as leading IWP’s countrywide claims operations.

• Pamela has 25 years of experience within the workers’ compensation and insurance fields.

• Pamela received a Bachelor of Arts, Management and Masters of Business Administration from California State University, Fullerton.

Male vs. Female Communication

Men use “talk” to …

• Maintain relationships

• Learn about others

• Gather details

• Build rapport

Source: Gendered Lives: Communication, Gender and Culture, Julia T. Wood

Women use “talk” to …

• Establish status

• Problem-solve

• Share ideas

• Give advice

Conversation Characteristics

• Forceful/direct/authoritative

• Less self-disclosures

• Dominating

• Solution and goal-oriented

• Tendency to interrupt

• Tentative and less commanding

• Personal details

• “We” vs. “I”

• Deferential language, “I’m not the expert, but..”

• Verbal hedges, “Don’t you think?”

Source: Gendered Lives: Communication, Gender and Culture, Julia T. Wood

Gendered Biases and Communication

Use joking, teasing and “trash talking” as a subtle status tool

See putdowns as arrogant, uncaring or hostile

See it as weakness or a request to rescind control

Downplay certainty to avoid appearing pushy or uncaring

Avoids giving feedback and feels compliments make individuals less effective

Feel unvalued and that feedback is beingavoided maliciously

View this as indecisiveness or an unclear position

Use “outside-in” negotiating to ensure everyone is on the same page

Source: Communication Styles: Understanding Gender Differences, Dale Gillespie

Source: The One Word Men Never See in their Performance Reviews; Fast Company

Men who are assertive in their communication

are seen as good leaders and

authoritative.

Women who are assertive in their

communication are seen as abrasive and are told to

“watch their tone” and “stop being so judgmental.”

How can we combat these outdated biases and

perceptions in the workplace?

Source: 10 Words Every Girl Should Learn, Films for Action

Having a seat at the table is not the same as having a voice.

In male-dominated groups, men speak

75% more than women. Women’s speech is granted less authority and credibility.

Gendered Communication Q&A and Role Plays

Research shows teachers spend up to two thirds of classroom time talking

to male students. Conversely, girls were told to “raise your hand if you

want to speak.”

Parents are twice as likely to interrupt or talk over daughters compared to sons.

How have you overcome that obstacle?

Source: Still Failing at Fairness, David Sadker; 10 Words Every Girl Should Learn, Films for Action

How do you, as a male leader, coach your female

HIPOs to have a communication edge?

Do you coach men and women differently?

Asking for a RaiseRole Play

Kim Radcliffe and Joe Boures

“It’s not really about asking for a raise, but knowing and having

faith that the system will give you the right raise. That might be one of the initial 'super powers', that quite frankly, women (who) don’t

ask for a raise have. It’s good karma. It will come back.”

- Satya Nadella, Microsoft CEO

Sharing/Receiving Praise Role Play

Pam Rippens and Patrick Walsh

Insights on Praise/Recognition

According to Forbes:

• People crave positive feedback and recognition. They seek the acknowledgement of leaders and peers and the glow that comes with knowing an achievement has been seen, appreciated and celebrated.

• People know when they’re valued, and they should have an understanding of their value to the organization.

• You have to mean it when you give recognition!

Bridging the GapWords of Wisdom

“Good communication skills are critical in any setting – personal or professional, written or verbal. The key is to know your audience

—their communication and interaction style(s), their preferences for processing

information, their “ideal” time for receiving certain types of communication—to name but a few. Being prepared to communicate is as

important as the communication itself.”

-Pam Rippens

“To me, the opportunity goes well beyond understanding the difference between

male and female. It's a broader discussion about diversity and understanding how

everyone comes into situations with their own history, beliefs, values, needs and

goals—all of which will impact how and what they communicate and how the

experience will occur.”

-Patrick Walsh

"Consciously defining and communicating your career aspirations is critical to success. Opportunity doesn't always come knocking;

you have to know when and how to ask for it. Identify the unique and distinctive value you bring to your organization, and don't be

afraid to promote yourself."

-Kim Radcliffe

“Coaching and mentoring is important for leaders at all stages of their careers. Find

people who will tell you what you need to hear rather than what you want to hear.

Your base of coaching should be as diverse as you can make it. It will help you broaden your perspectives and obtain objective

feedback on your leadership style.”

-Joe Boures

“Powerful communication does not equate to masculinity. Find your own true voice, push out of your comfort zone and proudly use “I” not we. Always remember to focus on the three Cs: be confident, be clear and

be concise.”

-Margaret Resce Milkint

Thank You!