Le club des imposteurs : Faire face au manque de confiance en soi dans le milieu

académique.

Loïc Le Tiran @astroloicIAG – Université de São Paulo

1er octobre 2014

Disclaimer

I am not a psychologist.

All this is documented, but necessarily quite subjective.

Feel free to ask anything during the talk

Academia: a fulfilling life…

• Mastery• Autonomy• Purpose

About Mastery, Autonomy , Purpose:See www.ted.com/talks/dan_pink_on_motivation

Stress

Competition

Pressure

The more you know…..

Tough job market

Isolation

Constant fear of being judged

Social Isolation

Mental health difficulties (depression, anxiety…)

Feeling of not being good enough

"We need to start recognizing that mental health is not a matter of crazy vs. sane. It's a matter of happy vs. unhappy, productive vs. destructive, and no different than physical

well-being.“from http://mahalonottrash.blogspot.com.br/2013/04/compilation-of-mental-health-posts.html

Why is this subject is important for ALL of us?

Why is confidence important?

To feel good about yourself.

To apply to a high-level position To ask questions

To discuss To go to (and enjoy!) conferences

It helps to avoid procrastination

Can lead to success, by helping you to step out from your

comfort zone

At least a positive point?

Over-preparation

Professional success?

Lack of confidence

At least a positive point?

Over-preparation

Professional success?

Less time for the rest:Family, friends,

hobbies, and other aspects of work…

Lack of confidence

Debatable…

The impostor phenomenonLack of confidence in academia (also called impostor feelings or often impostor syndrome)

Let’s put a name on this.

Psychotherapy Theory, Research and Practice Volume 15, #3, Fall 1978

Some (redundant) definitions

“A distorted, unrealistic, unsustainable definition of competence”

“An overwhelming sense of being a fraud, a phony, of not being good enough for your job,

despite much evidence to the contrary”

“Believing that one’s accomplishments came about not through genuine ability, but as a result of having been

lucky, having worked harder than others, and having manipulated other people’s impressions.”

I thought it was a fluke, It was the same way when I walked on the campus at Yale. I

thought everybody would find out, and they'd take the Oscar back. They'd come to

my house, knocking on the door, “Excuse me, we meant to give that to someone else. That was going to Meryl Streep.”

Why would anyone want to see me again in a movie?

And I don't know how to act anyway, so why am I

doing this?

I have written eleven books, but each time I think, “uh oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re

going to find me out.”

Feel like an impostor? Take theDo you chalk your success up to luck, timing, or computer error?

Do you believe “If I can do it, anybody can”?

Do you agonize over even the smallest flaws in your work?

Are you crushed by even constructive criticism, seeing it as evidence of your “ineptness?”

When you do succeed, do you secretly feel like you fooled them again?

Do you worry that it’s just a matter of time before you’re “found out?”

Credits:

How you explain a success:

• “I got lucky”• “I was in the right place at the right

time”• “It’s because they like me”• “If I can do it, anyone can”• “They must let anybody in”• “Someone made a mistake”• “I had a lot of help”• “They are just being nice”• “They feel sorry for me”

Credits:

How you explain a success:

• “I got lucky”• “I was in the right place at the right

time”• “It’s because they like me”• “If I can do it, anyone can”• “They must let anybody in”• “Someone made a mistake”• “I had a lot of help”• “They are just being nice”• “They feel sorry for me”

Credits:

Where are you?

Credits for this slide: Prof. Meghan Grey

Credits for this slide: Prof. Meghan Grey

How to be confident

“When I lack confidence, I stop lacking confidence and be awesome instead”.Doesn’t work in real life (except for Barney Stinson*)

(*who is not a real life caracter, by the way)

How to be confident

Having someone shouting at you: “be confident!”Seriously, Barney Stinson’s method is way better.

How to be confident

There is no magic potions,

but many tips.

Toolbox: First Tip

Embrace your impostor!

Talk about it!&

Toolbox: Second Tip

Own your achievements.Make list of your achievements

(pride list, +linkedin, CV…)

Ask other people what you are good at.(+Mentorship)

Learn to separate feelings from reality

Toolbox: Third Tip

Listen (really!) &Watch your language!

Own your compliments:Internalize external validation and stop minimizing your achievements

Don’t diminish yourself!“Only”, “Just”, “I’m not a real…”

Toolbox: Others tips

Teach!

“I don’t know” is a valid answerEveryone has the right to make mistakes

Failure is an option

Happy folder

List your typical impostor situations

Down your armour

Values AffirmationFake it till you make it!

Toolbox: Power Posing

A last one… but sometimes crucial

Ask yourself:“is it me or the organizational

structure is screwed up?”

For everyone, a general rule

Feel bad, sad, depressed, unhappy? Whatever the reason, seek

counseling.

Conclusion

LEARN to enjoy your academic life NOW!

Please

“helpful”, “stupid”, “a total waste of my time”, “best talk ever”, “I slept after slide 2”…

Please give me some feedback!(even anonymously!)

loic.le-tiran@obspm.fr

Wanna discuss? Office C-312,my door is always open,at least metaphorically.

Questions/Discussion

Bibliography

Links, blogs, facebook groups, books, games, ideas, papers.

Currently on:http://goo.gl/ZvIs2x

Quelques mots sur AUDDAS ?

• Role central sur l evolution du doctorat (en astro)• La question de l epanouissement : se sortir les doigts du cul.• Enjeux professionnels sont lies aux conditions de travail: si on se rend compte qu il

y a plein de choses formidables a faire dans sa vie apres un doctorat en astro, on est moins paniques par la peur de ne pas avoir d’avenir

• Mettre a la fin plutôt ?

• + slides frustration.

Who? / Where?

• Women• Minorities• First-generation professionals• …

• Academia• Arts• CEOs• Gender/colour dominated environments (ex: women in tech)• …

“Brazilians don’t apply enough to prestigious fellowships”

“Brazilians don’t apply enough to prestigious fellowships”

Institutional? Lack of confidence?

Why us? Why me?

• Parental education?• School?• Institution? (esp. isolation)• Colleagues/Manager?• The nature of our work?

Why is confidence important?• Feeling good about yourself.• You put the bar always higher (better faster stronger). It is difficult and it leads to the feeling of failure.• Not applying for a post doc in a brilliant institution thinking “I am not good enough”• Not asking a question “I don’t know enough to ask a question”• Not sharing an interesting comment “my comment is not interesting enough”• Not going to a conference (you have not made enough progress yet)• Not publishing a paper (your work is not good enough)• Nervousness about talking to others in their field, especially if those others are perceived as highly skilled/experienced• Lack of confidence can also be a competitive advantage: it pushes you try thing better because you feel you are not up to the

others. But you can’t let it cripple you!• Working too hard (over preparing) is good sometimes but bad for life balance...• Procrastination (can also take the form of somebody who is always reading litterature, and/or missing its real work. esp staying

in the comfort zone, the zone of no danger, no risk.)• success in any career often requires stepping outside your comfort zone, so it's important not to let your fear of failure get in

the way.• You may choose a lower level job because you think it will be easier for you to manage.• You take constructive criticism as condemnation:

– - When things go wrong, I automaticallky blame myself– - When I make amistake, I have a really hard time forgiving myself– - I often walk away from conversation obsessing over what I should have said, or failed ro say.– - I remember every dumb thing I ever did or said.– - I take constructive criticism personnaly, seeing it as a proof of my ineptness.

• Lack of confidence can also be a competitive advantage: it pushes you try thing better because you feel you are not up to the others. But you can’t let it cripple you!

Tips: Own your achievements• Make list of things you [are/should/people consider you should be] proud of. Facts.

remind them to you. Discuss it with friends.• - Learn to own your success. -1 Write down your different success, awards, things

that you succeeded in doing. Only the facts. -2 Aknoledge the fact that luck, charm etc plays a role. They were here, but you took advantage of it.

• - ask other people what you are good at?• find a mentor, a trusting friend, which can guide you, sometimes (constructively)

criticize, or recognize your successes. = feedback-Keep track of your accomplishments (linkedin, CV…)Ask people to recommend you on linkedin. Ask advice for things to put on your CV from

people that know you well.• Separate feelings from reality. Remind yourself that feeling like an imposter is

different from being an imposter.• Keep a written record of your accomplishments. Feel a sense of ownership for them.

• Own your compliments and praises : say thank you, not “let me explain why I don’t deserve this compliment” Learn to internalize external validation.- Stop minimizing your achievements. When someone congratulates you, say “thank you”, not “it wa sshitty right?”.

• watch your language. “Only”, “Just” are diminishing! And you end up beleiving what you are saying. “I am not a REAL xxxx”.

Others tips• teach what you know (and what you don’t know~) : it forces you to

realize that you know things. + outreach• Dare say you don’t know something.• happy folder• Make a list of the situations in which “imposter” feelings are likely to

strike. When you can warn yourself to expect these feelings, they’re easier to recognize and deal with.

• Try to break frightening tasks into several parts. If possible, start with the easiest part.

• - give a talk about the IS ?

Be supportive with the others

• - :• + Talk, blog, share experience, esp if you are senior.• + Correct the others when they misrepresent their

experience as less than it is.• + linkedin recommendation• + offer help the others (you know well) in writting their CVs• + Encourage others to accept opportunities and challenges

they are qualified for.