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Very Short Thoughts Stuart J. Kamille 1.

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498 short thoughts in this latest revision. Maybe there's a laugh in here somewhere.

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Very  Short  Thoughts  

 

 

Stuart  J.  Kamille  

 

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1. The  more  excuses  you  have  to  make,  the  less  likely  it  is  that  you  are  right.  

2. The  more  an  idea  is  like  something  you  are  familiar  with  the  easier  it  is  to  accept.  TV  was  easy  to  accept  because  the  controls  were  just  like  radio.  Two  knobs-­‐one  for  On/off  /volume  and  one  to  change  the  channel.  Easy.  But  a  computer  is  not  a  typewriter.  It's  not  a  television.  It's  not  similar  to  anything.  No  surprise  some  people  still  can't  figure  it  out.  

3. Before  24  hour  news  programs  what  did  we  worry  about  

4. Things  look  different  when  you  let  them  rest  a  bit  

5. Why  is  it  that  I  can't  remember  any  popular  song  released  after  the  turn  of  the  century  

6. Enjoy  what  you  do  and  you'll  be  content  

7. 'Opps'  does  not  build  confidence  

8. If  you  need  an  excuse  you  did  it  wrong  

9. Character  doesn't  need  a  rule  book  

10. A  pretty  girl  is  a  time  sensitive  commodity  

11. Why  do  we  treat  older  people  as  if  they  were  invisible?  They  have  all  the  experience  and  generally  all  the  money  

12. Pity  yourself  and  others  will  too  

13. The  less  you  do  the  more  you  worry  

14. Ever  feel  that  when  you  got  up  you  left  your  brain  behind  

15.  If  you  want  to  be  rich  hang  around  rich  people  

16. The  best  way  to  get  ahead  is  to  use  it  

17. Don't  judge  the  bird  by  the  tweet  

18. The  best  guarantee  of  success  is  total  commitment  

19. No  one  notices  the  guy  in  second  place,  except  of  course,  the  guy  in  third  

20. It's  easier  to  get  up  in  the  morning  if  you  have  something  to  look  forward  to  

21. Good  things  and  bad  things  are  just  things.  How  you  view  them  is  up  to  you  

22. You  can  withstand  anything  if  you  have  the  right  attitude  

23. Its  easy  to  win  an  argument  with  a  woman,  just  say  'yes'  

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24. Why  is  it  that  we  can  fly  to  the  moon  and  land  safely  and  we  can't  park  a  car  within  two  lines  on  a  parking  lot?  

25. Why  do  drivers  always  speed  up  when  I  want  to  move  into  their  lane  only  if  I  signal  my  intention  first?  Are  the  trying  to  pass  before  I  move  over  or  are  they  trying  to  scare  me  away  from  the  move  in  the  first  place.  

26. Did  you  ever  think  how  dangerous  driving  around  sitting  on  a  container  of  gasoline  might  be  and  then  to  let  just  anybody  pump  the  stuff  into  their  car  borders  on  suicide.  

27. Desire  at  first  lures  you,  then  it  captures  you  and  finally  it  absorbs  you.  

28. When  young  we  want  what  is  appealing,  when  old  we  want  what  is  beneficial.  

29. Nothing  is  as  unsteady  as  the  human  heart  

30. You  will  never  get  all  that  you  want,  so  make  sure  you  want  all  that  you  get  

31. Not  every  task  is  ideal  for  your  skill  set.  That's  when  you  turn  it  over  to  others.  

32. You  can  do  anything,  but  if  you  hire  a  professional  it  will  be  quicker  and  better.  

33. The  value  of  age  is  not  having  to  learn  everything  for  the  first  time.  

34. When  you've  done  it  enough  times,  it  looks  easy.  That's  because  you  don't  have  to  worry  about  how  it  will  come  out.  You  already  know.  

35. No  one  likes  anyone  who  is  right  all  the  time.  

36. All  my  ideas  are  little  ones.  But  if  I'm  lucky  they  grow.    

37. When  you  realize  that  you  have  a  good  idea,  you've  already  taken  the  risk  to  believe  it  is  possible.    

38. The  early  bird  catches  not  only  the  worm  but  everyone  else  napping  

39. You  can't  climb  a  mountain  if  you're  lying  in  the  shade  

40. Isn't  it  a  bit  unrealistic  to  let  the  people  who  put  us  in  debt  now  be  in  charge  of  getting  us  out  of  it.  

41. It  is  well  known  that  as  you  grow  older  you  grow  wiser.  This  means  that  Congress  has  the  youngest  people  on  the  planet.  

42. If  we  get  what  we  pay  for  why  don't  we  get  what  we  vote  for  

43. Small  change  to  a  politician  is  any  amount  that  won't  buy  a  vote  

44. Wouldn't  it  be  nice  if  we  got  some  foreign  aid  for  a  change  

45. Everyone  has  the  right  to  free  speech  which  the  rest  of  us  have  to  pay  for  

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46. Since  everyone’s  kids  are  exceptional  where  do  the  normal  ones  come  from  

47. Trouble  is  two  six  year  olds  and  one  lollypop  

48. If  you  have  to  insist  you  are  right...you  aren't  

49. The  purpose  of  having  dependents  is  to  keep  your  feet  on  the  ground  

50. It  is  true  that  no  one  is  perfect  however  most  people  think  they  are  the  exception  to  that  rule  

51. Pain  is  what  happens  when  dreams  and  reality  collide  

52. Salesman  have  perfect  recall  until  you  sign  

53. A  hangover  is  nature's  way  of  making  you  atone  for  having  way  to  much  fun  

54. I  spend  more  time  fixing  my  computer  than  working  at  it  

55. Attending  church  does  not  make  you  a  Christian  any  more  than  attending  a  ball  game  makes  you  a  player  

56. Who  ever  said  'It  is  better  to  light  one  candle  than  curse  the  darkness"  probably  never  paid  their  power  bill.  

57. Enthusiasm  has  accomplished  more  than  all  the  promises  ever  made.  

58. The  most  important  factor  in  living  a  long  life  is  being  needed    

59. With  unlimited  access  to  information  we  shall  soon  eliminate  limits.  

60. There  can  be  no  simple  answer  when  there  is  so  much  information  available.  Nothing  is  black  or  white  anymore.  

61. Politicians  have  refined  the  art  of  double  talk  to  the  point  where  they  can  be  right  and  wrong  at  the  same  time  and  no  one  seems  to  notice.  

62. Cable  TV  was  supposed  to  be  pre-­‐paid  so  there  would  be  no  commercials.  What  ever  happened  to  that?  

63. How  can  Reality  TV  be  real  when  some  guy  with  a  camera  is  recording  everything  that  happens?  

64. I've  noticed  recently  that  my  scale  weighs  heavier  as  it  ages  

65. Careful...every  open  door  has  two  sides  

66. The  first  one  up  is  generally  the  first  in  other  things  as  well  

67. Why  are  all  the  rainbows  I  chase  "pot  challenged"?    

68. If  you  find  yourself  in  a  rut...plant  seeds  

69. Honesty  makes  better  friends  than  flattery.  

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70. Your  friends  don't  like  you  because  you  are  perfect.  They  like  you  because  you  are  honest  with  them  and  they  feel  they  can  rely  on  you.  

71. God  give  me  the  grace  to  accept  that  even  people  I  don't  like  sometimes  have  good  ideas  

72. Why  do  I  always  wake  up  before  the  alarm  clock  rings  and  fall  asleep  in  the  afternoon?  

73. We  spend  too  much  time  worrying  about  what  other  people  will  say  and  way  to  little  on  what  we  did  to  provoke  their  interest.  

74. Your  thought  for  the  day...no  one  is  paying  attention  

75. Do  you  ever  feel  that  someone  is  moving  everything  you  put  down  somewhere  else?  

76. The  young  want  to  look  good,  as  you  age  you  want  to  get  ahead  and  when  you're  old  you  forget  what  you  were  trying  to  do  in  the  first  place.  

77. We  spend  most  of  our  time  worrying  and  the  rest  wondering  why  we  were  worried.  

78. Why  am  I  always  lookin  good  when  no  one  is  lookin  

79. Remember...  the  more  you  live  it  up,  the  more  you  have  to  live  down  

80. The  more  time  you  spend  making  a  living,  the  less  time  you  have  making  a  life.  

81. I  know  you  and  you  know  me  and  neither  of  us  know  ourselves  

82. Your  Mom  has  known  you  longer  than  anyone  else  and  she  still  loves  you...isn't  that  amazing?  

83. Moms  pick  you  up  when  you're  down  and  bring  you  down  when  you're  up  but  mainly  they  keep  your  feet  on  the  ground  when  you're  in  between  

84. You  don't  belong  to  your  job  or  your  boss  or  your  spouse  but  you'll  always  belong  to  your  Mom.  

85. You  can  only  do  so  much.  It's  the  size  of  the  "so  much"  that  makes  the  difference.  

86. Your  Mom  has  seen  you  at  your  best  and  at  your  worst  and  it  still  hasn't  changed  her  mind.  

87. We  always  want  everyone  to  do  well...just  not  as  well  as  we  do.  

88. I  am  not  slowing  down.  The  world  is  speeding  up.  

89. Ever  notice...The  less  time  you  have,  the  more  you  get  done  

90. People  who  get  things  done,  don't  wait  for  permission  

91. Complaining  is  just  a  way  to  not  have  to  do  anything  about  it.    

92. There's  not  a  woman  in  the  world  who  thinks  she  looks  as  good  as  she  could  and  there's  not  a  man  in  the  world  who  doesn't  think  she  looks  fine  just  the  way  she  is.  

93. Most  people  would  like  to  lose  a  little  weight  and  sure  enough,  that's  all  they  manage  to  lose.  

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94. An  optimist  thinks  things  couldn't  be  better  and  a  pessimist  thinks  things  couldn't  be  worse.  A  realist  knows  things  are  not  what  they  seem.    

95. The  more  you've  got  going  the  more  going  your  going  to  get  

96. My  memory  has  never  been  better  (if  I'm  remembering  correctly)  

97. Ever  notice...  women  look  at  what  other  women  are  wearing  and  guys  look  at  what  they  are  not  wearing  

98. Don't  worry  about  having  a  good  time  or  a  bad  time.  Worry  about  having  enough  time.  

99. In  general  I'm  always  right...as  long  as  the  'general'  is  wide  enough  

100. The  less  hair  you  have,  the  more  flair  you  need  

101. The  reason  we're  free  is  not  because  someone  gave  it  to  us  for  free  but  because  we  paid  for  it.  Freedom  is  not  free.  

102. Every  mountain  climber  looks  great  until  the  mountain  has  to  be  climbed  

103. The  only  person  who  is  always  right  is  your  mom  

104. Its  not  the  house,  its  the  home  that  makes  you  happy  

105. A  country  that  has  buyers  for  hundreds  of  shades  of  lipstick  has  got  to  have  a  lot  of  rich  people  

106. Thank  goodness  for  books.  They  entertain  and  inform.  They  have  no  commercials  and  you  only  pay  once.  

107. I  have  hundreds  of  TV  channels,  watch  four  and  fall  asleep  when  I  do.  

108. Great  ideas  start  out  as  crazy  ones  

109. It  is  amazing  how  much  useless  imitation  you  can  find  on  the  shelves  of  a  grocery  store  

110. Is  it  just  me  or  do  all  cars  look  like  variations  of  a  lima  bean  

111. The  only  thing  that  laughs  everyday  is  a  hyena  

112. I  am  not  as  smart  as  I  used  to  be  but  fortunately  everyone  else  has  gotten  dumber  

113. Ever  notice...in  football  the  fans  rack  up  a  lot  more  calories  than  the  players  

114. Why  is  it  always  colder  where  my  wife  is  standing  even  when  we  are  standing  side  by  side?  

115. Football  is  one  of  those  games  where  the  people  watching  have  a  lot  more  fun  than  the  people  playing  

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116. Ever  notice...every  guy  no  matter  how  self  centered  and  pompous  will  shut  up  when  a  pretty  girl  enters  the  room  

117. There  is  a  new  black  hole  forming  from  which  no  light  can  escape.  Not  surprisingly  it  is  located  in  Washington  DC    

118. Ahh  we  are  all  lost  among  the  stars,  but  seems  to  me  ,  some  of  us  are  lost  more  than  others  

119. Suspicion  follows  adversity,  like  thunder  follows  lighting  

120. No  two  eyewitnesses  see  the  same  thing  

121. The  larger  the  ego,  the  thinner  the  skin  

122. The  sooner  you  admit  a  mistake  the  sooner  you  can  fix  it  

123. Only  a  guilty  man  hears  footsteps  behind  him  

124. Those  things  we  cannot  understand  we  ascribe  to  magic  

125. No  one  is  really  paying  attention  to  you...except  yourself  

126. A  common  error  in  putting  is  not  letting  the  ball  know  where  the  hole  is    

127. Things  you  want  the  most  are  mostly  things  you  can't  afford  

128. The  less  you  depend  on  others,  the  more  they  will  depend  on  you.  

129. Golf  Club  members  will  please  refrain  from  vulgar  verbal  expletives.  The  only  exceptions  to  this  rule  are  during  driving,  putting  and  fairway  play.  

130. Nothing  is  so  upsetting  as  having  to  listen  to  someone  you  don't  like  being  right    

131. The  young  have  much  to  learn.  The  old  have  much  to  forget.  

132. At  the  end,  memories  are  all  you  have  or  need.  

133. Music  can  move  us  because  it  is  a  language  unto  itself  that  all  understand.  

134. It  is  preferable  in  golf  to  address  the  ball  with  some  idea  of  where  the  hole  is...not  that  it  will  help  much.      

135. Not  every  fish  is  worth  the  bait  

136. People  usually  give  you  things  you  don't  want  to  catch  

137. If  you  hold  your  temper  long  enough...  you'll  lose  it  

138. The  best  solvent  for  resolve  is  chocolate    

139. Success  only  comes  at  the  end.  The  hard  part  is  to  discover  where  the  end  is.  

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140. We  all  mean  well,  but  often  the  meaning  gets  lost  in  translation.    

141.  Great  deeds  don't  require  great  ideas;  they  require  simple  men  making  a  great  effort.  

142.  The  best  tranquilizer  I  know  is  knowledge,  but  it  sure  can  make  you  worry.    

143. All  the  well-­‐meaning  wishes  of  the  world  are  nothing  without  someone  who  will  take  up  the  cause.  

144. The  most  pleasant  smile  is  your  own  

145. Adversity  opens  your  eyes  

146. Don't  judge  the  wine  by  the  price  

147. If  you  know  what  you  need  to  do,  you  won't  need  reminding  

148. The  brightest  light  often  comes  from  the  smallest  star  

149. Loose  ends  make  frayed  nerves  

150. Not  every  door  needs  to  be  opened  

151. You  find  the  oldest  fleas  on  the  oldest  dogs  

152. You  can't  go  forward  if  your  looking  in  the  mirror  to  see  if  anyone  is  following  

153. You  can't  lead  while  protecting  your  backside  

154. We  need  a  problem  larger  than  ourselves  to  see  beyond  our  differences.  

155. The  clock  counts  not  the  value  of  your  life.  Your  deeds  are  all  that  counts.  

156. Not  all  choices  are  equal  and  none  are  without  consequence.  

157. You  cannot  control  what  may  happen  to  you.  You  only  can  control  the  way  you  react  to  them.  Therefore  events  do  not  control  you.  You  decide  your  own  destiny.  

158. Children  have  more  fun  with  nothing  than  grown  ups  do  with  unlimited  resources.  

159. You  are  not  as  important  as  you  would  like  but  more  important  than  you  think  

160. Guessing  is  a  poor  substitute  for  knowing  

161. The  more  you  learn,  the  less  you  rely  on  luck  

162. Silence  is  often  the  most  eloquent  response.  

163. Worry  is  caused  by  inaction.  Do  something  and  you  will  regain  control  of  your  destiny  

164. If  you  place  your  destiny  in  your  own  hands,  you  will  always  know  where  you  are.  

165.      A  single  hard  fact  is  better  than  lots  of  vague  suspicions    

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166.      The  faster  you  run,  the  less  time  your  feet  are  on  the  ground.  

167. A  good  compromise  is  better  than  a  costly  victory    

168.        Yesterday’s  news  and  past  accomplishments  are  equally  interesting      

169. Principles  don't  pay  the  bills.  

170.      The  surest  road  to  immortality  is  a  valuable  idea.  

171.    A  kick  in  the  pants  gets  faster  results  than  a  well  worded  explanation    

172.  Youth  is  foolish.  Age  is  wise.  But  only  love  knows  paradise    

173.      Fear  shuts  the  eyes  of  wisdom.  

174.  If  everyone  carried  their  neighbors  load;  there  would  be  no  misunderstandings.      

175. Hate  grows  best  in  harsh  conditions.  

176.      Wondering  why  is  the  first  stage  of  invention.  

177.      The  swiftest  cure  for  fear  is  knowledge    

178. No  one  ever  started  an  argument  by  agreeing.    

179.      Only  you  know  what  you  want.  Everyone  else  has  to  guess    

180.      You  are  the  center  of  all  your  success  and  all  your  fears  

181. We  learn  with  all  our  senses  but  we  teach  with  very  few    

182.    Listen  to  the  footsteps  of  your  dreams.  Are  they  coming  closer  or  are  they  fading  away?  

183.    A  small  choice  now  will  grow  when  multiplied  by  years    

184. It's  easy  to  seem  clever,  just  shut  up    

185.  Emotions  burn  so  bright  they  blind  the  clearest  eye  

186. You  can  learn  more  from  a  good  example  than  you  can  get  from  any  book    

187.  There  is  no  true  change  without  pain    

188.  Beauty  changes  everyday,  value  changes  every  day,  but  wisdom  stands  forever  unchanged.    

189.  You  are  only  as  old  as  you  allow  

190. The  reason  you  are  unhappy  is  within  you  not  without    

191.  If  you  knew  what  would  happen  you  would  never  be  surprised  

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192. If  they  start  to  yawn,  it's  time  to  shut  up  

193. No  one  gets  to  first  base  without  accepting  the  risk  of  striking  out  first  

194. The  more  breaks  you  make,  the  luckier  you  will  seem  to  be  

195. Cry  if  you  must,  laugh  if  you  can  and  never  forget  you  are  simply  a  man  

196. The  first  person  to  laugh  at  should  be  yourself  

197. Passion  holds  the  balance  between  success  and  failure  

198. Time  is  not  measured  by  the  ticking  of  a  clock  but  by  the  beating  of  your  heart.  The  faster  it  goes,  the  more  progress  you  make.  

199. Why  worry  when  you  can  find  out  by  asking  the  right  person?  

200. Life  is  not  about  having  things  happen,  it's  about  making  things  happen  

201. To  be  a  go  getter  you  have  to  get  going  

202. One  man  with  determination  is  worth  a  dozen  hirelings  

203. The  bigger  they  are  the  further  they  fall  

204. With  hope  comes  peace  of  mind  

205. Listening  makes  you  a  good  conversationalist  

206. Even  the  best  of  friends  have  secrets.  

207. More  stuff  goes  on  behind  your  back  than  in  front  of  your  eyes  

208. You  can't  count  on  any  thing  but  your  fingers  

209. To  be  noticed  you  must  first  ask  to  serve.  

210. He  who  understands  controls  his  own  destiny  

211. Everyday  you  neglect  to  ask  "why?"  is  one  more  day  you  will  never  know  what  is  going  on  around  you  

212. If  you  take  advantage  of  what  technology  brings  to  you,  you  must  also  learn  enough  about  it  to  use  wisely.  

213. Education  requires  respect  for  what  is  being  taught  

214. The  more  you  know  the  more  you  care  about  knowing  

215. Guessing  is  the  lazy  way  to  reach  a  conclusion  

216. The  longer  it  takes  to  decide  the  easier  it  is  not  to  

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217. Wishing  won't  make  it  come  true  but  at  least  it  gives  you  a  place  to  start.  

218. Not  every  fortune  cookie  contains  a  fortune.  But  then  some  have  two.  

219. The  road  that  leads  home  feels  shorter  than  the  road  that  leads  away  

220. Not  all  your  dreams  will  come  true.  But  then  not  all  your  worst  fears  will  come  true  either  so  maybe  it's  a  wash  in  the  long  run.  

221. A  quick  fix  may  cost  more  than  a  sure  solution  

222. If  you  remain  calm  when  all  about  you  are  rushing  around  and  losing  their  composure...you  may  not  understand  the  true  gravity  of  the  situation  

223. There  is  no  true  love  without  respect  

224. Patience  is  wise  only  if  you  have  a  plan  

225. Not  every  pony  is  worth  the  upkeep.  

226. To  broaden  your  circle  of  friends...  stop  going  around  in  the  same  circles  

227. If  you  wait...  you  will  

228. The  more  important  you  are,  the  less  you  think  about  yourself  

229. Select  your  friends  wisely,  and  your  enemies  will  think  twice  

230. Heed  ye  not  the  ticking  of  the  clock  for  time  does  not  measure  deeds  

231. You  are  interesting  to  people  if  they  think  you  are  interested  in  them  

232. Never  doubt  your  purpose  and  you'll  always  reach  your  goal  

233. Honesty  means  you  have  less  to  remember  

234. If  you  don't  pay  for  it,  you  won't  conserve  it  

235. In  Washington,  a  budget  is  a  target  to  exceed  

236. The  bigger  you  make  yourself  appear,  the  smaller  you  look  

237. Education  may  not  make  you  smart;  but  no  education  will  certainly  make  you  dumb  

238. Worry  is  what  you  do  when  you  don't  know  what  to  do  

239. You  can't  see  your  future  with  your  eyes  on  the  ground  

240. Things...change  

241. Why  do  they  always  discontinue  the  things  I  like?  

242. Even  your  heroes  have  problems.  That's  what  made  them  heroes  in  the  first  place.  

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243. Not  everything  happens  the  way  you  would  like  because  not  everything  happens  just  for  you.  

244. You  can  laugh  or  you  can  cry.  It's  more  fun  to  laugh.  

245. The  blessings  in  your  life  are  like  stars.  You  see  them  best  when  everything  is  dark.  

246. The  louder  you  talk,  the  less  you  can  hear  

247. You  can  hold  more  with  an  open  hand  than  a  closed  fist  

248. We  are  each  in  our  own  boat.  The  ones  who  row  get  someplace.  

249. Even  good  people  do  dumb  things.  

250. What  you  don't  know  won't  help  you  

251. Do  not  use  fear  as  an  excuse.  Fear  is  a  result  of  ignorance  and  ignorance  is  never  an  excuse  for  failure.  

252. Progress  comes  not  to  those  who  wait  

253. It's  either  a  light  at  the  end  of  a  tunnel  or  a  railroad  engine  headlight  

254. You  never  stand  taller  than  when  you  are  reaching  up.  

255. To  stand  on  your  own  ...get  off  your  knees  

256. A  picture  is  a  mixture  of  bright  and  dark  areas...so  is  your  life.  

257. The  meek  may  indeed  inherit  the  earth;  but  by  then  there  won't  be  much  on  it.  

258. Give  me  a  tool  and  I'll  build  a  city.  Give  me  a  meal  and  I'll  put  down  the  tool.  

259. If  you  scratch  your  own  itch  you  will  never  miss  the  spot  

260. You  can't  reach  for  the  stars  with  your  hands  in  your  pockets  

261. To  find  out  the  time,  realize  that  some  people  will  tell  you  precisely  and  some  will  tell  you  generally  but  it's  best  to  carry  your  own  watch  

262. In  business  as  with  dogs  it  is  better  to  watch  the  tail  than  listen  to  the  bark  

263. Bankers  want  you  to  deposit  your  money  with  them  because  they  are  friendly.  Then  they  don’t  know  who  you  are  if  you  ask  to  borrow  some  

264. Once  a  politician  gains  your  vote  he  begins  to  doubt  your  judgment.  

265. The  quickest  way  to  a  woman's  heart  contains  chocolate  

266. One  drink  is  refreshing,  two  drinks  are  relaxing  and  three  drinks  are  two  too  many  

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267. Congress  has  adopted  a  three  second  rule...spend  it  if  it  has  been  in  the  Treasury  more  than  three  seconds.  

268. I  just  heard  that  the  most  common  problem  in  golf  is  standing  too  close  to  the  ball  after  hitting  it.  

269. Misers  spend  less  than  we  do.  Spendthrifts  spend  more  than  we  do.  And  you  and  I  have  it  just  right.  

270. The  first  time  you  travel  somewhere  it  seems  complicated.  The  second  time  it  seems  shorter.  The  third  time  is  easy  and  from  then  on  you  don't  even  remember  it.  

271. Most  people  want  to  sit  in  the  last  row  but  those  same  people  want  to  be  first  in  line.  

272. If  you  are  the  only  one  laughing  the  joke  may  be  on  you  

273. The  more  words,  the  fewer  useful  thoughts.  

274. It  is  easy  to  explain  what  happened  but  difficult  to  explain  why  it  happened  

275. The  best  address  is  entertaining,  informative  and  SHORT  

276. Making  money  is  like  knitting...  the  longer  you  take,  the  more  you  will  make  

277. Revenge  is  sweet  which  makes  it  a  better  dessert  than  an  appetizer  

278. Take  your  life  in  your  hands  or  life  will  take  you  by  the  nose  

279. The  reason  success  seems  difficult  is  that  there  are  many  ways  things    that  may  go  wrong  and  only  one  where  everything  must  go  right  

280. Fill  the  bucket  right  to  the  top  and  you  will  surely  lose  a  lot.  Fill  the  bucket  less  and  stop,  and  you  won't  lose  a  single  drop.  

281. No  one  has  all  the  answers  and  if  they  think  they  do  then  their  answers  are  not  to  be  trusted.  

282. The  swiftest  way  to  erase  a  bad  mistake  is  to  do  something  good.  

283. Plan  for  success  and  you  won't  have  to  rely  on  luck  

284. It  is  better  and  a  lot  less  painful  to  laugh  at  yourself  before  others  do  it  for  you  

285. Complaining  is  just  another  way  to  put  the  blame  somewhere  else  

286. No  man  is  lonely  who  helps  others  

287. Why  do  we  worry  so  much  about  what  others  think  about  us  when  what  is  really  important  is  what  we  think  about  ourselves?  

288. The  world  doesn’t  care  what  you  do  with  your  life.  If  you  think  your  life  stinks...it  does.  If  you  think  your  life  is  great.  It  is.  

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289. You  make  the  decision.  The  world  couldn't  care  less.  

290. Birthdays  are  a  great  way  to  add  up  not  the  days  but  the  deeds  of  your  life.  

291. Measure  your  life  by  firsts  not  by  seconds  

292. Education  is  learning  from  what  other  people  have  experienced.  Living  is  learning  from  what  you  have  experienced.  

293. If  you  don't  know  how  you  got  where  you  are,  you  will  fear  where  you  are  going.  

294. Time  cannot  be  wasted.  It  can  only  be  misused.  

295. Control  yourself  and  you  control  your  life  

296. If  you  are  afraid  you'll  look  bad,  you  will  never  look  good  

297. The  loudest  voice  usually  has  the  least  to  say.  

298. Follow  your  feelings  and  you  will  go  in  the  right  direction.  Follow  your  thought  and  you  will  understand  where  you  are  going.  To  go  in  the  right  direction  and  get  there,  you  need  both.  

299. Each  action  has  its  own  character.  If  you  understand  that  character,  things  are  done  easily.  If  not,  things  will  be  difficult.  

300. We  only  pay  attention  when  something  is  going  wrong  

301. Patience  is  the  mark  of  wisdom.  

302. Friends  and  memories  are  all  you  end  up  with.  

303. The  road  seems  shortest  when  the  end  is  in  sight  

304. Satisfaction  is  the  refuge  of  a  busy  mind.  

305. The  more  you  worry  about,  the  more  you  will  have  to  worry  about.  

306. He  who  is  prepared  to  travel  never  misses  the  boat  

307. A  dream  is  the  signpost  to  accomplishment.  But  like  the  signpost  it  stands  in  one  spot  and  does  not  move  forward.  To  progress  requires  taking  steps  toward  the  goal.  

308. To  assume  someone  is  going  to  pay  you  to  sing  a  song  is  a  stretch.  Even  little  children  can  sing  a  song.  You've  got  to  offer  something  else.  That  "something  else"  is  the  difference  between  a  journeyman  and  a  star.  

309. It's  not  THAT  you  do  it,  it's  HOW  you  do  it  

310. Things  that  are  given  we  often  despise,  while  things  that  are  earned  bring  delight  to  our  eyes  

311. You  can  see  farther  with  an  understanding  heart  than  with  the  best  binoculars  

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312. Patience  keeps  foolish  remarks  in  their  proper  place…unsaid.  

313. We  think  we  choose  by  reason  when  in  truth  we  choose  by  heart  

314. The  guy  with  a  great  line  upfront  is  the  guy  in  the  front  of  the  line  

315. Beauty  may  fade,  and  youthful  ardor  fly  but  true  love  grows  as  time  goes  by  

316. A  man's  eyes  will  tell  you  more  than  his  words  

317. A  smile  cost  nothing  yet  it  can  get  you  anything  you  wish  

318. Fill  your  head  with  fluff  and  it  will  come  out  your  mouth  

319. Success  lies  in  a  fulfilled  heart  not  a  filled  wallet  

320. Words  direct  they  do  not  perform.  Deeds  require  performance  not  dictation.  

321. Riches  rely  more  on  luck  than  wisdom.  

322. Even  the  wisest  can  only  see  as  far  as  the  horizon.  All  the  rest  is  artful  guessing.  

323. You  are  everything  you  know.  All  the  rest  is  for  you  to  discover.  Use  what  you  know  to  select  what  next  you  will  know  and  you  will  grow  wise.  

324. If  at  first  you  don't  succeed...you  did  something  wrong  

325. Choose  with  both  your  heart  and  with  your  mind.  Both  must  be  in  balance  for  the  choice  to  be  good  for  you.  

326. Only  a  guilty  man  hears  whispers  of  suspicion  

327. Peace  is  the  result  of  satisfied  hopes  

328. Those  who  think  there  is  a  better  way  and  then  go  on  to  find  it  make  progress.  All  the  rest  are  spectators.  

329. The  easiest  way  to  avoid  a  decision  is  to  say  NO.  

330. Not  every  idea  is  a  good  one.  Not  every  idea  is  a  bad  one.  But  every  idea  no  matter  which  is  better  than  none  at  all.  

331. Apathy  is  the  surest  way  to  slavery  

332. The  higher  the  goal,  the  longer  the  climb  

333. Every  journey  should  begin  with  the  weather  report  

334. Stand  on  your  own  two  feet  and  you  won't  step  on  any  toes  

335. Learn  from  your  mistakes  and  you  will  make  fewer  mistakes  

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336. We  are  never  satisfied...  when  you’re  younger  you  want  to  be  older  and  when  you’re  older  you  want  to  be  younger  and  no  one  wants  to  be  middle  aged.  

337. A  stolen  moment  is  more  fun  than  a  day  off.  

338. The  commercial  is  always  louder  than  the  program  thus  proving  that  hot  air  rises  

339. Why  do  the  instructions  always  apply  to  a  different  model  than  the  one  I  bought?  

340. Belief  is  the  cornerstone  of  success  

341. History  does  not  record  those  who  thought  they  were  right,  only  those  that  were  right.  

342. The  quickest  way  to  get  there  is  to  avoid  shortcuts  

343. The  more  corners  you  cut  the  smaller  the  pie  

344. Select  who  you  know  and  you  determine  what  you  know.  

345. Discipline  is  the  backbone  of  character  

346. Happiness  requires  only  that  you  be  pleased  with  yourself.  

347. Success  requires  nothing  more  than  making  the  most  out  of  what  lies  before  you.  

348. Each  of  us  is  a  product  of  his  or  her  experiences.  The  better  they  are,  the  better  you  are.  

349. The  best  laughter  is  your  own.  

350. An  innocent  man  doesn't  worry  about  being  misunderstood.  

351. He,  who  protests  the  loudest,  is  probably  the  more  guilty.  

352. More  ink  is  spilled  justifying  a  wrong  action  than  a  right  one.  

353. If  you  can  laugh  at  yourself,  you  will  always  exceed  your  expectations.  

354. Man  is  the  only  animal  that  worries  about  being  bored.  

355. No  one  ever  made  a  friend  by  arguing  

356. Your  toothache  always  hurts  more  than  someone  else’s  

357. It  is  funnier  if  it  isn't  happening  to  you  

358. Sadness  is  relieved  better  by  action  than  distraction  

359. The  more  government  we  have,  the  more  government  we  need  in  order  to  govern  the  government  

360. The  things  we  enjoy  we  soon  take  for  granted.  The  things  we  dislike  we  never  forget.  

361. Pain  is  the  swiftest  teacher  

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362. Silence  makes  no  mistakes  

363. There  is  no  happiness  in  an  uneasy  heart  

364. A  straight  path  requires  persistence  

365. Remember  that  each  choice  you  make  determines  the  next  choice  you  will  face.  

366. Laughter  brightens  even  the  darkest  of  days  

367. All  things  exact  a  price.  Some  are  worth  the  price,  others  are  not.  You  must  decide  if  the  price  is  what  you  wish  to  pay.  

368. You  cannot  control  what  you  feel.  You  can  only  control  what  you  wish.  

369. Be  satisfied  with  knowing  yourself.  You  can  expect  nothing  more.  

370. Why  is  it  that  the  way  back  always  seems  shorter?  

371. If  you  are  never  surprised  you  need  to  get  out  more.  

372. Creativity  springs  from  doubt.  

373. We  grow  wiser  by  degrees,  but  Ph.  D  and  MD  are  not  the  degrees  I  mean.  

374. Worry  is  understanding  enough  to  realize  that  there  may  be  a  problem  

375. If  it  seems  good,  it  may  be  good.  If  it  feels  good,  it  may  be  good.  But  if  it  seems  good  and  feels  good...it  probably  is  good.  

376. Wisdom  is  experience  remembered  

377. Change  only  happens  when  somebody  had  all  they  can  take.  

378. The  way  you  feel  is  determined  by  what  you  think.  The  way  you  think  is  determined  by  what  you  feel.  

379. If  you  wait  for  surety  you  will  miss  the  opportunity.  

380. Before  you  begin  to  worry,  laugh.  It  cuts  it  down  to  size.  

381. Nothing  has  just  one  side  

382. If  it's  easy...there's  a  reason  

383. The  less  you  say  the  more  impressive  you  seem  

384. No  one  ever  won  a  popularity  contest  by  disagreeing  with  anything.  Of  course  no  one  who  every  did  anything  agreed  with  everything.  

385. Taxes  are  the  government's  way  of  letting  us  know  they  are  thinking  of  us.  

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386. We  spend  more  effort  worrying  about  things  that  won't  happen  than  fixing  things  that      did.  

387. It  is  hard  to  judge  ourselves  fairly  because  we  always  believe  our  own  excuses.  

388. It  is  better  to  fix  the  squeaky  wheel  than  to  complain  about  how  noisy  the  wheel  is.  

389. The  softer  you  speak  the  more  the  ear  listens  

390. Control  yourself  and  you  control  your  fate  

391. Some  things  are  beyond  us.  Even  a  great  man  cannot  count  the  stars  

392. What  you  do  today,  decides  what  you  must  do  tomorrow  

393. Only  a  busy  man  sleeps  soundly.  

394. If  you  don't  take  charge  of  your  life  someone  else  will  try  to  

395. You  can't  sail  the  ship  from  the  dock  

396. The  only  thing  certain  about  the  future  is  that  it  is  not  certain.  

397. Worth  is  not  measured  by  fame  but  by  usefulness  

398. Go  to  sleep  with  a  problem  and  you'll  wrestle  with  it  all  night  long.  

399. Not  everyone  is  open  to  new  ideas.  But  the  people  that  are...  you  hear  about  

400. A  stopped  clock  is  right  twice  a  day  but  wrong  all  the  rest  of  the  time  

401. Nothing  dispels  fear  as  well  as  positive  action  

402. Look  forward  to  each  day  with  an  eye  toward  what  can  be  done  not  what  has  to  be  done  

403. Often  what  feels  like  anxiety  is  excitement..  The  difference  is  measured  in  the  amount  of  hope  that  goes  along  with  the  feeling.  

404. There  is  nothing  more  powerful  or  more  delicate  than  a  new  idea  

405. Price  goes  up  as  demand  goes  up  and  demand  goes  up  when  price  goes  down...does  this  make  sense?  

406. The  more  I  organize,  the  more  there  is  to  organize  

 

407. There  is  never  enough  time  to  do  anything,  except  worry  that  there  is  never  enough  time  to  do  anything  

408. It's  only  painful  if  it's  yours  

409. Put  your  faith  in  the  government  and  you'll  quickly  lose  faith  in  humanity.  

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410. If  all  have  enough  no  one  wants  more.  

411. Freedom  depends  only  on  the  number  of  hearts  that  yearn  for  it.  

412. If  you  are  afraid  of  the  dark,  find  a  light  bulb  

413. Congress  is  like  Peter  Pan's  Neverland.  It's  full  of  pirates,  crocodiles  and  little  lost  boys  that  don't  want  to  grow  up.  

414. To  the  government  you  are  only  as  interesting  as  your  last  tax  return.  

415. Why  do  the  people  with  the  loudest  voices  always  sit  next  to  me?  

416. Start  each  day  in  an  orderly  way  and  you'll  sleep  each  night  with  nary  a  fright.  

417. Doubt  is  the  enemy  of  progress  but  the  mother  of  invention.  

418. It  is  wiser  to  shut  up  than  to  give  up.  

419. Don't  take  yourself  so  seriously,  no  one  else  does.  

420. The  wider  the  smile,  the  more  understanding  the  heart.  

421. A  happy  man  knows  who  he  is  and  what  he  is  and  why  he  is.  

422. Your  best  guidance  comes  from  within  not  from  without.  

423. We  are  better  at  fooling  ourselves  then  at  fooling  others.  

424. The  loser  the  mouth,  the  more  room  for  exaggeration.  

425. Time  doesn't  make  you  old,  your  attitude  does.  

426. You  can't  see  the  future  with  your  head  in  the  sand.  

427. People  who  worry  about  how  good  they  look...  don't  look  good.  

428. The  less  you  have  to  do,  the  more  time  there  is  to  do  it  in  

429. It  is  never  dark  where  there  is  laughter  

430. You’re  wrong  if  you  always  think  you’re  right  

431. Wishing  might  not  make  it  happen,  but  not  wishing  won’t  make  it  happen  either  

432. You  can’t  sail  your  boat  from  your  bunk  

433. Pain  is  the  surest  teacher  

434. Tomorrow  holds  promise.  Yesterday  holds  memories.  Today  determines  which  promise  becomes  a  memory.  

435. The  saddest  man  is  one  who  thinks  he  has  everything  for  then  he  has  nothing  to  hope  for.  

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436. We  always  wish  we  had  what  we  cannot  have  and  always  get  what  we  don't  deserve.  

437. The  more  you  laugh  at  yourself,  the  less  others  will.  

438. Why  worry  about  getting  older?  Someone  will  tell  you  when  it  happens  

439. A  stitch  in  time  keeps  your  pants  from  falling  down  

440. Vision  is  given  to  those  who  disregard  public  opinion  

441. Kids  are  great  golfers  because  they  don't  try  to  out  think  the  ball  

442. Smiling  makes  you  appear  smarter  because  you  can't  do  it  with  your  mouth  open  

443. Anger  is  the  blinder  of  the  mind  

444. The  price  of  freedom  is  to  bear  the  responsibility  for  those  things  you  can  do  because  you  are  free.  

445. A  politician  is  someone  who  can  give  you  a  'thumbs  up',  pat  you  on  the  back  and  pick  your  pocket  all  at  the  same  time  

446. The  tighter  you  grip  the  nickel;  the  slipperier  it  gets  

447. You  can't  move  forward  by  standing  pat  

448. The  further  from  the  center  you  go,  the  nearer  the  edge  

449. Why  is  it  that  the  people  who  say  one  thing  and  do  another  are  always  elected?  

450. The  older  your  eyes  get,  the  better  they  can  see  around  corners  

451. With  every  page  of  the  book  of  knowledge  we  read,  the  longer  the  book  becomes  

452. He  who  laughs  last,  probably  has  the  poorest  sense  of  humor  

453. The  surest  way  to  miss  the  boat  is  to  be  the  last  on  board  

454. The  more  you  talk,  the  less  you  learn  

455. Silence  is  the  surest  way  to  avoid  an  argument  

456. Fear  is  the  easiest  way  to  avoid  thinking  

457. Men  like  things  that  make  them  feel  bigger,  women  like  things  that  make  them  feel  smaller  

458. What  goes  around...I  always  catch.  

459. The  more  you  care  about  others,  the  more  they  care  about  you.  

460. A  laugh  a  day  keeps  wrinkles  at  bay  

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461. The  more  effort  you  make  the  younger  you  feel.  

462. Silence  is  the  most  devastating  answer  

463. Patience  is  the  soul  of  faith  

464. Money  won't  make  you  happy...but  it  sure  can  make  you  smile  

465. Insight  requires  knowledge,  experience,  faith  and  luck  

466. Creativity  disappears  with  a  single  word...NO  

467. Worry  is  a  lack  of  confidence  in  your  grasp  of  the  situation  

468. Quality  is  the  over-­‐abundance  of  capacity  

469. You  always  want  what  you  don't  have  and  you  always  have  what  you  don't  want.  

470. To  successfully  create  you  must  think  like  a  child  

471. You  start  making  progress  when  you  run  into  obstacles  

472. The  more  hands  on  the  rope,  the  lighter  the  load  

473. Your  dreams  are  there  upon  life's  ocean  shore.  Find  them  now,  before  the  tide  and  you                        are  here  no  more.  

474. The  more  you  worry  about  what  other  people  think  of  you,  the  less  other  people  will  

475. We  all  are  growing  older,  you  can't  help  it  so  don’t  help  it.  

476. Good  things  are  easy  to  recognize.  They  are  difficult  to  achieve  and  take  longer.  

477. The  difference  between  good  and  evil...is  who  it  is  happening  to  

478. If  you  understand  yourself  you  don't  need  to  worry  about  yourself  

479. Experience  is  the  raw  material  of  Wisdom  

480. God  wanted  man  to  be  happy,  that's  why  he  gave  him  the  ability  to  think  

481. The  only  way  to  move  forward  is  to  change  your  position  

482. The  most  serious  unemployment  I  see  is  that  of  brains  on  Capitol  Hill  

483. You  can't  get  on  the  train  if  you  don't  go  down  to  the  station  

484. The  more  things  you  own,  the  more  things  own  you  

485. Choose  carefully.  You  become  the  choices  you  have  made  

486. The  Young  inquire  to  learn.  The  Wise  remain  silent  to  learn.  

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487. You  need  no  master  but  yourself.  

488. You  can't  unlock  a  door  with  your  shoulder.  

489. The  Past  Determines  the  Present  and  the  Present  determines  the  Future.  

490. If  you  wouldn't  buy  it,  don't  try  to  sell  it  to  someone  else.  

491. Don't  worry  about  the  past.  Every  day  you  recreate  yourself.  

492. You  are  what  you  have  lived.  

493. Good  experiences  make  good  thoughts.  

494. Answers  are  easy,  finding  a  good  problem  is  the  tough  part.  

495. The  ignorant  are  carefree  but  also  blind.  

496. Do  not  scold  the  child  for  error.  Remember  you  are  a  child  in  the  world.  

497. Learning  comes  only  as  you  are  ready.  

498. A  man’s  character  is  displayed  by  how  he  deals  with  others.