Role Models: Influencing others

by BRODAN ADDIE THIEL

Submitted in partial fulfillment of the requirements for theDegree of

Bachelor of Arts and Sciences Quest University Canada

and pertaining to the Question

“What is a role model”

22/04/2013

____________________________________________________________

Concentration Mentor Brodan Thiel

Characteristics of role models

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A role model is an individual who exhibits desirable or exemplary behaviour, who others

aspire to emulate, and who has a lasting effect on the attitudes or behaviours of another

individual. In a relationship between a role model and a mentee, the role model shares

experience, advice or knowledge with the mentee in order to lead him or her towards success.

This can occur through many different endeavours, whether it is in everyday life or a more

specific situation. The effects of a role model are evident in a variety of ways; for example, the

mentee mimicking the role models actions or behaviours, or, the mentee using their role model’s

teachings as a framework in making conscious decisions.

Over the course of ones’ life, role models come from many different places and can

change many times depending on the circumstances or situations (Payne, Reynolds, Brown &

Fleming, 2002). Teachers, peers, parents, celebrities and spouses are considered by most to share

role modelling characteristics (Payne, Reynolds, Brown & Fleming, 2002). There are similarities

in the type of role models that are most prevalent to individuals in certain stages of their lives.

In the early developmental stages of ones’ life, young children relate mostly to their

immediate family for guidance (Payne, Reynolds, Brown & Fleming, 2002). This occurs because

of their limited contact with others outside of the household, their lack of social skills, and their

heavy reliance upon the direction of their parents (Payne, Reynolds, Brown & Fleming, 2002).

When a child starts going to school and is exposed to other social relationships, the individuals

who have the most impact on the child changes. By entering school, the child will look more to

their peers and school teachers to help shape their behaviour than their parents (Payne, Reynolds,

Brown & Fleming, 2002). By the time an individual grows old enough to make thoughtful

decisions, often the type of role model has expanded to come from many realms of life, such as

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athletes, coaches and celebrities. (Payne, Reynolds, Brown & Fleming, 2002).

Role modelling presents itself in many different facets of life. A relationship between role

models and learners is situational, and can change on a relationship by relationship basis. There

are differences between having a coach or a sibling as a role model because of the longevity and

emotional investment that comes with this relationship. Some role models relationships evolve

over your lifetime, whereas other role models can yield benefits after only one meeting. For

instance, there is a large difference between a mentoring relationship and a friendship. Mentors

and protégé partnerships are some of the most important role modelling relationships because of

the sacrifices that the mentor makes in order for the protégé to achieve success (Pastore, 2003).

Mentoring is defined as a relationship where a more experienced individual provides guidance

and support in an attempt to better the protégé (Pastore, 2003). These relationships are very

important in developing success in a particular endeavour, but are not lifelong. Most mentor and

protégé relationships last on average between 3-8 years, because of their link to a specific

endeavour (Pastore, 2003) Whereas mentoring is usually career orientated, peer relationships are

far more emotionally charged, and can last 20-30 years (Pastore, 2003). A peer role modelling

relationship is far more about mutual understanding and trust (Pastore, 2003). Role modelling is

apparent in many different situations where role modelling is present, and serves different

purposes in each.

In a mentoring relationship, the affects that an individual can have on another may vary

drastically, based on the extent of that relationship. If a person has many role models, a particular

role model might only have a slight impact on an individual’s habits and behaviours. In contrast,

a person with fewer role models will feel more of an impact from a particular individual (Buford

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May, 2009). A person can also take selected behaviours and attitudes from one role model and

mold them with the attributes of another to create an adaptation that fits for the persona that they

want to create for themselves (Buford May, 2009).

Direct Role Models

During my life, I have had many different role models some of whom are: father, brother,

uncles, teachers, counsellors and coaches, all of have affected me in different ways, and shaped

me into who I am today. Some of the individuals have had a slight impact to my behaviour,

whereas others have played a significant, lasting role in influencing my behaviour, character,

outlook, and attitude. Others have made a notable positive impact to my life; whereas others still

whom I have viewed as an important role model have greatly affected my personal growth in a

negative way.

Positive role model

Both brothers and sisters have been successful role models as siblings are usually close in

age, and go through similar experiences in a similar environment. In western society, having

siblings as role models is commonplace, over 80% of all children have a sibling (Recchia, 2006).

These relationships are also valuable because of their longevity; relationships with siblings in

most cases are the longest that anyone will have within their lifetime (Recchia, 2006). Children

often spend more time with siblings than either parents or peers outside of school hours

(Whiteman & Christiansen, 2008). Recchia (2006) found that in sibling relationships, in most

cases the older sibling takes on a leadership and teaching role, while those born after are more

likely to follow and be learners. This concept accurately describes my personal experience and

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relationship with my older brother.

When I was a child I was fortunate enough to have a positive role model within my own

household: my older brother. Though he is only a year older than me, throughout my childhood

my brother was someone I looked up to and aspired to emulate. The small age gap between us

played a notable role that he played on my life because most of the situations that arose were

issues or events which he had only recently experienced the year before. This provided me with a

constant source of reference for most of the experiences I had throughout my life. The most

important lessons I learned from my brother are that life is not always fair and that you cannot

care what other people think of you.

One of the reasons my brother was such a good role model is the strength and positivity

he continually showed through dealing with Alopecia areata, a diagnosis, he received at the age

of five. This disease causes ones’ hair to fall out and many bald spots then appear over the

person’s scalp (Muller & Winkelmann, 1966). This condition is very difficult for an individual to

accept and manage, especially in a superficial society where one’s appearance is of social

importance. Throughout my childhood I was impressed by the courage my brother showed

throughout his diagnosis, and I was further struck by his reaction to the ramifications of the

visible effects of his condition. At school, classmates would call him names like ‘baldy’ or ‘old

man’, but their bullying never discouraged him. For him, he remained positive and focused his

energies on excelling athletically. Sports played a pivotal role in him being able to deal with his

Alopecia areata because he was a talented athlete. In the wake of an uncontrollable disease

which his peers considered a weakness, my brother excelled on the playing field. Sports allowed

him to prove his capabilities and self-worth and to be an integral part of the team’s success. This

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allowed him to channel and release the frustrations that he dealt with on a daily basis. It inspired

me to watch him find salvation by creating his own judgement-free environment.

I naturally gravitated towards playing sports from a young age, in part to aspire to be like

my brother. When I was younger, I didn’t possess the same drive for sport as my brother;

however, I never let this discourage me because I viewed the struggles he went through on a

daily basis and how he personally benefited through his experience with athletics. By supporting

him through his struggle with Alopecia and witnessing how he handled it, I was not discouraged

when I experienced setbacks in my own athletic career. For example, when I was cut by my high

school basketball team, I thought about ending my basketball career forever. However, seeing

my brother deal with his hair loss in our youth made me understand that life is not always fair.

Instead of giving up I chose to persevere: train harder, remain positive, and focus my energy

upon improving and excelling. Instead of giving up, I came back the next year in better shape

than the other current team members. My perseverance to succeed eventually led to a University

varsity basketball career and scholarship. Younger siblings are in an advantageous position

compared to older siblings, as they are able to learn from someone close to them (Recchia,

2006). I am uncertain which path I might have followed had I not experienced the valuable

lessons from the situations that my brother had to deal with when we were growing up, his

positive outlook on life, and resilient attitude in the face of adversity helped deliver me from that

destiny.

Negative role model

Role models are all around you when you grow up; one of the most important things is

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finding a balance between positive and negative aspects of your interactions as you develop

(Holly, 2006). For me it was great to have a positive role model within my household (my

brother). Unfortunately, I was subject to negative influence within my same household: my

father. My father was present in my life in physical form, but never in an emotional form. His

substance abuse exacerbated his lack of emotional or psychological connection to the family. He

viewed his role as a father as providing monetarily for his family (food and shelter), but nothing

further. To me, fatherhood is far more that, I feel that a father should be engaged in his child’s

life to help mold him into a better person through his own personal experiences. A child will

always relate to their parents as role models because in youth we are not exposed to the world

around us as much as our families as we are confined to the individuals that are in our

households (Payne, Reynolds, Brown & Fleming, 2002). Therefore, parents can be positive or

negative role models but this depends on the behaviours and attitudes that they display or pass on

to their children (Payne, Reynolds, Brown & Fleming, 2002).

The experience of my disconnected father trying to raise me while dealing with a

substance abuse problem has led me to view him as a negative role model. In the Handbook Of

Parenting, it states that “individuals with substance abuse problems are frequently assumed to be

incapable of adequately fulfilling a variety of social roles, including the role of parent”

(Bornstein, 2002). Within my household, it was clear that my father could not fulfil any social

roles affiliated with parenthood. His habit was not something that he tried to hide; instead, he

directed his children to assist in fuelling his addiction by asking us to fetch him alcoholic drinks.

Alcoholism is defined as a “diseased condition due to excessive use of alcoholic beverages”

(Parsons, 2003). The American Psychiatric Association states that there are three characteristic

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that present when diagnosing the disease: physiological problems including black outs and

memory loss, psychological problems that require one to drink all the time, and behavioural

problems that result in issues at work and in social contexts (Parsons, 2003). In my experiences

with my father all of these characteristics were present from the time that I was old enough to

understand the situation. The commonality of alcoholism is devastating, indeed, it has caused

more family problems than any other single cause, as one in four families has an issue with the

disease (Parson, 2003).

Growing up in a household where my father consistently dealt with substance abuse

influenced me profoundly. As a teenager, I had a preconceived notion that it was acceptable to

abuse drugs and alcohol. I felt that if my father (who I viewed as a role model when growing up)

was a functioning member of society and financially providing for his family while abusing

substances, then there was no problem with his lifestyle. When I initially experimented with

substances myself as a teen I was never told by him that they were bad for me; if he were to

assert that substances were detrimental to a person it would have been truly hypocritical because

he was using every single day. I recall a lone confrontation with my father regarding my

experimentation after it had become a visible problem for me both emotionally and physically.

He said, “You can't be doing this, all the people I knew in high school who are drug abusers are

still living in their parent’s basements.” Looking back, I felt his attempt to stop my unfavourable

choices was too little too late, and far too superficial. There was already a problem, and his

words had no relevance as I saw him behaving in the same way.

Not having a firm stance against substance abuse within my household led me to view

substance abuse as acceptable, as long as one was still functioning in the community. I still

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considered my father a role model at this point, so, because he was living his life in this fashion,

I believed I could follow suit. It was not until I started seeing my academics and dreams of being

a college basketball player slip away that I realized it was time for a change. Having a father that

was still using at this time led me to face my own demons in terms of my substance abuse.

Eventually I stopped using substances completely and reassessed my initial notions of how to

become a successful adult and eventually father. In achieving this I had to analyze the

emotionally unstable relationships and problems that were present within my household in my

childhood, and through honest self-reflection determine which direction in life I would choose to

take.

Later on in life, the experience of growing up with a parent as an abuser allowed me to

get away from using myself, because I saw the harm addiction can do to both the person using

and the people around them. Walker (2007) found that in some cases negative role models can

ultimately become positive role models: when an individual’s actions are observed in a negative,

undesirable light and the observer consciously decides not to follow the same path so as not to

experience the same pitfalls. This accurately describes my situation in having my father as a role

model. Initially he served me as a negative role model, but years later I viewed him as a positive

role model because I was able to see the hurt and pain that was brought on my family because of

his substance abuse, which led me to getting clean and seeking recovery myself.

Having being raised in a household where substance abuse was prominent and becoming

a user myself, I began to wonder how correlated the two are because of parental influence.

Fawzy, Coombs, & Gerber (1983), found that teenagers are more likely to use themselves if they

know their parents are users or if they perceive that they use. This means that children similar to

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me look at their parents and say, “If he can do it why can't I?” Therefore, it is the parents’

responsibility to understand that the environment that they create at home has a drastic impact on

their children, and if they are going to see the use substance by parents, it should not be a

surprise that they mimic the acts of their role models.

In the case of both my brother and my father, I have seen the effects that both positive

and negative role models can have on an individual. They are role models to me because both of

these individuals have had significant impact on my attitude and behaviours. Role models can

impact mentees through mentee observation (Bufford May, 2009). In the case of my brother and

father, I have had maintained contact with both of them and therefore consider them both to be

direct role models who I have modelled behaviours after (Burford May, 2009).

Indirect Role Models

People can also be influenced by indirect role models; indirect role models take on an

influential role by only having mediated contact with those that aspire to be like them (Buford

May, 2009). Indirect role models are usually given their exposure through some form of media;

for example: athletes or movie stars.

The impact of indirect role models is evident in individuals who view their successes and

try to mimic the behaviour of the indirect role model. It is imperative that these role models, in

order to portray positivity, have a level of understanding that what they do and what they say has

a very large impact on their followers. This can be a difficult position for some as they

reluctantly feel that they are not role models and others should fill that void. In 1993, NBA Hall

of Famer Charles Barkley said, “I am not a role model. I am paid to wreak havoc on the

basketball court. Parents should be role models. Just because I dunk a basketball doesn't mean I

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should raise your kids.” (Bufford May, 2009) Having read this, I don't think Mr. Barkley

understand the impact that he has had on other individuals.

When I was a child, my mother bought me Charles Barkley basketball shoes because I

thought I would play more like him if I had them. I also remember waking up early on Saturday

mornings to watch him play on television, then going into my basement to throw some dunks on

my plastic hoop that was conveniently named the “Charles Barkley: Wreaking Havoc Hoop”.

Charles Barkley was someone I looked up to because he was a great player, and he was not as

reserved as others in interviews and instead was forthright, direct and confident. Given the

enduring popularity of Charles Barkley, his role as a star basketball player, personality, and

talent has inspired people across the world for years. Therefore, it would be preposterous to not

consider him a role model, even if he doesn't regard himself as one.

A very important concept to understand with indirect role models is the way that they are

portrayed in the media may not represent their true characteristics (Bufford May, 2009). For

instance, in the eighties the NBA introduced its “NBA Cares” campaign. This required all of

their athletes to give back to the community through charitable donations or volunteering

(Bufford May, 2009). The league felt that this would be a step in the right direction because they

knew that children viewed their athletes as role models. Therefore, it would benefit them by

having their athletes portrayed as positive role models, instead of being seen as negative role

models (Bufford May, 2009). Even though the NBA tried to put a positive spin on their athletes

by introducing these regulations, it was later found that it did not have as crucial an effect as they

once thought.

In a study by done by Reuben A. Buford May, he found that many youth regard NBA

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players as role models simply on the skills they possess for the game of basketball (Bufford May,

2009). This meant that stars like Allen Iverson and Kobe Bryant, who are very skilled on the

court, are still viewed by youth as role models even though they were at one point involved in

off-court issues that would not be considered positive role modelling acts (Bufford May, 2009).

For this reason, athletes and celebrities must understand whatever negative press may arise about

them in the media will still impact the youth, as they regard them as their role models because of

the success they have in their chosen profession.

Early my brother and I developed an obsession for athletes that were larger than life

figures, who served as indirect role models. We really enjoyed wrestling and some of our

favourites were WWF wrestlers. For some reason, most of my memories of my childhood are

related to wrestling. This probably has to do with the amount of time that we spent watching it,

playing with action figures, and wrestling in our back yard. We loved watching wrestling in our

basement, then going out in our backyard trampoline and trying to emulate the electrifying

moves we saw on television. For us, wrestling was the coolest thing in the world, and the

wrestlers themselves we considered God-like. The stars of this sport were exactly what we

wanted to be like: they had big muscles, they did not care what anyone said about to them, and

they were physically domineering, confident, and powerful.

Many parents believe that wrestling is something that kids should not watch because of

its violent nature and the poor values that the storyline teaches', therefore, these parents would

never considered wrestlers to be positive role models. I feel that without them as role models I

would not be in the position I am today in regards to academia or athletics. Without athletic

scholarship I would not be able to attend my current university because of finances. The reason I

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believe that enjoying wrestling has benefited me so much is that when I was watching wrestling

when I was younger I was always in awe of the unbelievable physiques that wrestlers obtained.

This was something that we set out to emulate. Accordingly, my brother and I needed to figure

out what they did to look like that and ultimately led us to training day and night in an attempt to

build muscle. This was my introduction to weight training, and assisted me in becoming a

successful basketball player, as I was far more physically developed then the athletes I was

competing against. My performance on the court eventually led to a university scholarship.

Truthfully, I never thought that watching wrestling as a youth would have such an impact on my

life, but this indicates that role models can come from all sorts of unexpected places.

My experiences with Role Modeling in Basketball

Having played basketball for over fifteen years, I have had many different experiences

with different coaching styles, philosophies and role models within this community. When I

played basketball as a youth (age 8-12) it was all about learning the fundamentals of the game

and having fun. At this time coaches were not really people I could consider role models as I did

not spend time enough with them to build a strong relationship on and off the court. During these

years, in most cases basketball involves one practice and one game a week. In contrast, at the

high school level, I began to spend considerable time with my team. At this stage, my team and

coaches started to have more of an impact on me as role models.

In high school, I noticed how much athletics can shape one’s life. I also started realizing

how much of an effect a coach has on his or her players’ lives for multiple reasons. The coach’s

beliefs, behaviours and decisions have a drastic impact on every individual involved with their

basketball program. Children look at their role models for assurance; in adolescence it has been

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found that coaches and parents have the biggest impact on sporting experience (Martin, Dale &

Jackson, 2001). Hence, the impact of these role models during childhood is essential to athletic

experience. It is in high school you start feeling this effect because you are practising four times

a week and have a few games a week. In many ways, for the duration of the season your sport

becomes a part of your identity as an individual. With Every win or loss and good or bad game

affects your attitudes and behaviour outside and inside of the sport are impacted. The role of the

coaches at this time is to lead a group of individuals to work as a cohesive unit on the court by

teaching them the valuable lessons in both basketball and life. This is when the coaches start

having a large role in impacting the lives of their players and start being seen as role models

(Payne, Reynolds, Brown & Fleming, 2002).

Life Lessons

In my early high school years I had not begun to take school and sports seriously. I was

always getting in trouble, getting bad grades, and taking on unfit people as role models. In my

sophomore year of high school when I began to look at basketball purposefully, I started to reap

the benefits that can be associated with sport participation. It has been found that sport

participation has been found to decrease delinquency rates, improve school performance and

benefit social skills (Kremer-Sadlik & Kim, 2007). This could not be truer for me: when I started

having hoop dreams, I saw myself achieving more positive things.

In senior high school, I was taught valuable lessons by my coach that has carried out to

my life outside of sports. Our coach was very young at this time, and I felt that the limited age

gap between the players and coach allowed us to develop a relationship in which we could relate

to each other more easily. We respected our coach because he had just finished a successful

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collegiate basketball career himself as a player. This taught me that there must be a level of

respect in any relationship where a role model is present. If he had not had all of his experience

as a player we would not have shown him the same respect.

This coach taught me many valuable lessons throughout the years that he coached me,

but the most important life lesson was that basketball is only temporary and we must be well

rounded individuals in life.

He displayed this philosophy throughout the season many times. In one instance, one of

our best players was struggling academically and was not allowed to play until his grades

showed drastic improvement. Therefore, every practice instead of playing he had to watch us

from the bleachers while doing his homework. This was an eye opening experience for us as

players because we then knew that if we did not perform in the classroom we would be sitting in

the bleachers beside him doing our homework. After that, each person on the team improved

their grades, and it was an experience that benefited all of us because we knew we had to be as

good in the classroom as we were on the court in order to play. Losing this player may have hurt

us on the court because he was one of our best players, but this was a lesson we needed to learn

because in essence you are in school to learn and playing basketball is just a privilege.

Rick Pitino, coach of Louisville University Basketball, feels that as leaders you are in a

position of power and that successful leadership is measured by the effect leaders have on others

(Pitino & Forde, 2008). As a coach you have the ability to act positively; positive actions should

be taken to effectively inflict betterment to those you are inspiring (Pitino & Forde, 2008). My

coach exhibited this philosophy. As a role model for us, he taught us valuable lessons throughout

basketball that we were able to apply to our lives, bettering us both as basketball players, and

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individuals.

Sharing experiences can be valuable

One of the best characteristics of my high school coach was his pre-game speeches

because of his ability to use anecdotes of his playing days to give inspiration. His speeches

would take his stories of perseverance and tribulations through years of experience as a player

and relate them to our current situation. My coach used his experiences as an instrument to

inspire us, a researched tool to communicate team goals by creating intrinsic appeal (Conger,

1991). A leader must not only be able to provide the proper information at the right time, but

describe them in ways that maximize their effects (Conger, 1991). I remember one particular

game we were suffering from a large point deficit at half time. When we went into the locker

room, our team’s body language was awful. We looked like we had given up on the game and

thought we could not come back from the score deficit. At half time before the coaches came in,

usually some of the leaders on the team would share their opinions on how the team could

improve in the next half; however, in this instance everyone sat in silence, because none of us

knew what to say. A few minutes later he came in and looked at us, and said “It's not over.” He

then told us a story about when his team was down by twenty points at half time in a playoff

game. I remember him reliving that game as he told the story: “We won the first 5 minutes, then

we won the next five minutes, then we were down by ten with ten minutes to go and we knew we

had a chance.” Inspired by his halftime speech, we came out with our heads held high knowing

that if we were going to have a chance at winning the game, we needed to chip away at the lead

and win the first five minutes. We ended up winning the game on a last second shot, and if not

for our coach’s half time speech, I doubt that we would have come close to winning. This taught

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me the value of sharing your own personal experiences to inspire others, and has been

instrumental in how I inspire others today.

Learning these lessons from my high school coach allowed me to be a better leader on

my own basketball team years later. This past season, I was severely injured and not able to

perform to my usual standards on the court. For any athlete an injury can be devastating as it can

be devastating to their mental health. I took my injury as a learning experience. Unable to

perform my best on the court, I knew I could still remain an integral part of the team through

offering positive leadership. Having played for many years in our league, and for two different

programs, I had a lot of past experiences to draw upon to help inspire my teammates. Painting a

picture for our younger players about the past successes and failures of a basketball program is

something that inspired us to reach levels we were not capable of before. Without experiencing

the lessons from my old coach, I don't think I would have understood the value of relating our

current situation the past experience. This was inspiring for my teammates, as we achieved our

first bronze medal in Quest Basketball history.

Importance of creating a proper environment

After graduating high school, I was offered the opportunity to attend Capilano University

and play for the varsity basketball team. My experience with coaches to this point had been

limited to my high school coach. I found out very quickly that the new coach I had at Capilano

had a far different outlook on life and athletics than I had ever experienced or expected.

For my coach at Capilano, basketball was his life. There was nothing else that mattered to

him. If we won, everything in his life was good. If we lost, it was as though the world was going

to end. This coach wore his emotions on his sleeves like no one I had ever seen before. He was

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so negative, and never would congratulate his players. He would always tell us, “If you’re

looking for someone to pat you on the back, you’d better start playing somewhere else, ‘cause

I'm never going to do it.”

The two years I played with him as my leader were two of the most painful years of my

life because of his constant negativity. Our coach was unapproachable. He would yell at us if we

did anything wrong and then become aggressive. He called us names, and swore at us. Instead of

using positive reinforcement, he used fear as a motivator. Our coach’s poor attitude quickly

spread to the rest of the team. As players we would constantly bicker and generally be negative

with one another. I believe that this came as a result of the way that we saw our coach treating

us: we thought that we could treat each another the same way. In essence, we were all just acting

as members of the negative environment our role model created for us. We may have not been

trying to emulate his behaviours, but it came out naturally.

Unsurprisingly, our team was a group of underachievers in those two years, both

athletically and academically. As a result the coach was eventually fired. After being a part of

these teams, I vowed to never create an environment like this when in a role modelling position.

In my opinion, a proper environment that someone in a position of leadership should aspire to

create is one where all the members are on the same level of communication, and there is respect

towards the leader because of what they offer to the collective group not because of their position

or because they can discipline you.

“Do as I say, not as I do”

Whenever our coach at Capilano University saw one of us emulating the same behaviours

that he himself displayed, he would say “Do as I say, not as I do”. This was some of the worst

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advice I have ever been given by anyone. It is pretty clear to me that if you are creating this

negative and hectic environment, people are going to reciprocate with the same behaviours.

Instead of saying, ‘Do as I say, not as I do’, I believe he should have reassessed his coaching

philosophy to try and create a different environment for his players. Although, I found this

philosophy to be outlandish, it appears to be very common place throughout the basketball

community, as many high profile coaches apply it on a daily basis.

This philosophy was not only displayed within his negative behaviour but also in regards

to personal fitness. For me having a coach who was not in any way shape or form physically fit,

but still demanded his players to be in great physical shape was preposterous. Most of my

teammates shared the same belief. It was clear that the man had never been an athlete in his life

and this could also attest to some of the insurmountable feats that he made us perform. After a

weekend in which we lost both our games, he demanded that we be at our court early the next

morning for a conditioning practice. During this time we ran fifty sets of lines in fifty minutes. If

he himself had ever run any lines in his life he would understand that this task had the ability to

cause injury and mental distress, but because he forced us to do it by saying “If you can't finish,

you’re off the team,” everyone completed the task. This was another example where he used

fear to motivate us. Having us perform this task did not benefit our team as a unit as he lost a lot

of respect from his players by making us do this.

During the year this coach would assign a set of workouts for everyone to complete on

their own time, but there was a significant lack of incentive for the team to complete these tasks.

He did not give us a physical test before or after, so there was really no motivation other than

personal achievement because the coach had no concrete way of measuring progress. I always

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completed these workouts because weightlifting was already a part of my weekly routine. Other

members on the team did not share the same dedication to complete the workouts for reasons

stemming from personal laziness to lack of motivation from our coach. I remember a few of

them saying “He is so out of shape himself. How can expect us to do all these workouts?” This

brought to my attention that if you are going to ask someone to do something such as get

physically fit, it would be a good idea to look like you are in shape yourself. Having the

mentality of “Do as I say, not as I do” will simply not get you the best results in this instance as

many people require a role model that looks the part. Jacobson & Kulling (1989) found that

physical educators and coaches that have given up on physical fitness themselves are seen as

negative role models to those who they are trying to teach or coach. This means that if you are

not fit yourself, you are not going to get the same results from your players as a coach that is fit.

In his book “Rebound rules: the art of success 2.0”, Hall-of-fame Basketball Coach Rick

Pitino emphasizes the importance of physical in his profession, because he does not want to be

seen as a hypocrite. Every single day he charts what he eats, and what how he exercises in order

to obtain his goal of remaining physically fit and trim (Pitino & Forde, 2008). It may seem like a

daunting task having to write down this information every day, but this system allows him to

evaluate his progress on a daily basis. He feels that being fit himself is instrumental in coaching

as he states, “Given the emphasis we put on physical fitness and conditioning in our program, it

would be hypocritical of me to let my body go while demanding that my players push themselves

into peak shape” (Pitino & Forde, 2008). Rick Pitino's ideologies surrounding physical fitness

are the opposite of what my coach stressed. Instead of saying “do as I say, not as I do”, he

thought if I am going to stress being as fit as possible, I better be in good shape myself so the

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players will listen. The benefits he received from preaching what he practised have allowed him

to motivate his players to reach insurmountable feats. Pitino is the only coach in history to lead

three different NCAA Basketball programs to the Final Four.

This instance is specifically looking at how a coach who is unfit built an approach of “Do

as I say, not as I do” in regards to physical fitness, and it does not work. This approach did not

receive very good results out of his players. Even though this is specific to personal fitness this

situation can be an example that can be taken into many different accounts of role modelling. It

is difficult for a role model to act hypocritically in regards habits or behaviours that he is trying

to get his mentee to perform and expect to get results. Therefore, by requesting that someone

does something, it would most likely be wise to be practising the same habits or behaviours

yourself to get the best results.

Staying true to your philosophy as a role model

At Quest University, we are fortunate to have the opportunity to have a couple of courses

that are used for experiential learning. I used these blocks to assist teachers at St. Georges

School. During these blocks, I spent my time teaching in the Physical Education Department.

While there, I spent time shadowing two teachers which had very different styles of approaching

teaching. Both these teachers were very well respected by their students and I would consider

them both positive role models.

The first teacher I worked with had a more stern approach than the others when dealing

with the children. He would lay down the rules and ensure that all the students followed. He

created an environment where there was a definite gap between leader and followers. If anyone

did not follow instruction there was always punishment for misbehaving. There was an

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understanding within his class that there were things that needed to be accomplished every PE

class and for whatever reason they weren't then there were repercussions.

The other teacher that I helped out took a far more laid back approach to teaching the

children in his class. In his class, he was always joking around with his students. Instead of just

teaching, he would join in on the activities and compete against the students. His teaching style

was far less about a teacher and students, as he took on more a mutual relationship. Within his

class there were no real repercussions for goofing around, he would just make it into more or less

a joke for the students to laugh at. Although, he did not have a stern rules set out as the other

teacher, his classes still ran smoothly and accomplished what he set out to do every day.

Both of these teaching styles were far different than the others, but they both worked very

well. There was a level of respect that the teachers received from their students in both cases and

they both set out to do what they wanted accomplished. This showed me that as a leader or role

model in order to gain respect from your students or mentees you must stay consistent with your

behaviour. If either of them suddenly changed how they approached their classes, I don't think it

would have gone over very well with the dynamics of their classes. If one’s approach is to be

friendly and laid back, then you must stay true to that philosophy because switching to a stern

stance may not come across as genuine and therefore likely will not be effective.

The Importance of Connection

During the past year I have become a Mentor through the Big Brother Mentorship

Program. Every week I spend an hour with a student at a local school in Squamish. We spend

most of our time playing games and talking about how he is doing. This experience has been

quite beneficial to me as a role model. When I first started meeting with him he was very shy to

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tell me anything because we had not yet built a relationship to where he felt he could open up to

me. I originally started out by asking him some questions about his family and what was going

on in his life. He would constantly reply with one word answers, and then we would just

continue participating with the activity or game that we were doing. Eventually he started

opening up to me a bit and I began to notice that he lacked in self-confidence. When he would

beat me at a game he showed no difference in emotion from the times he lost. This led me to

believe that he was really shy and was having trouble opening up emotionally. In order for him

to benefit from our relationship he needed to be more comfortable with our relationship and learn

to trust me.

When we first started meeting we would always play a form of frisbee golf outside, and

my little brother didn't show much confidence. We would take turns choosing a target to throw

our frisbees at. The objective of the game was to hit the target in the least amount of throws

possible. We showed a similar skill set when playing the game. He beat me a few times and

remained somber. I asked him why he wasn’t confident with his abilities in the game when it was

clear that he could succeed. I also encouraged him to be more vocal and competitive while

playing the game in hopes to spark some emotion. After a few more rounds, he started to joke

about my skills, letting me know in a friendly, competitive way that he was a much better frisbee

golfer. It was remarkable to see his inner strength growing. This was a big moment of growth in

our relationship and I felt like he was finally becoming more comfortable, beginning to trust me

and that in time he would eventually open up.

The next week when we met we played the board game, ‘Sorry!’ I immediately noticed a

big change in him and his confidence level. Building off our meeting from the previous week,

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he was far more self-assured with me. This time instead of me asking him questions he was

asking me questions about my life. This time when he beat me he started his competitive banter

again and I was really pleased to hear it. This experience showed me that in any role modelling

relationship there must also be a level of confidence, comfort and trust between the role model

and mentee before the relationship can truly develop. When we meet today we are more

comfortable with each other and I feel that he is benefiting from the experience of having me as a

role model.

The Importance of having friends as role models

When I first came to Quest I had already developed a good understanding of the

dedication needed in training outside of the practice to be a successful varsity athlete, so I

decided to help any teammates out that needed it. I would train in the weight room four to five

times a week in order to be strong enough to be a productive player on game day. After our first

practice of the year, I gave an open invitation to anyone that might be interested in training with

me. One individual that had no prior experience with weight training accepted the challenge, and

I am very glad he did.

The weight room can be a place a very lonely if you are training by yourself, and having

someone there to make sure you are getting better every day is something that both individuals

can benefit from immensely. For Rick Pitino, peer-driven chemistry is essential to success

(Pitino & Forde, 2008). I was lucky to have such chemistry with my weight training friend. At

first I was very surprised that he continued coming back day after day because I was putting us

both through very difficult workouts, and many that have tried to train with me before have

given up after a only few days. The relationship that we have built because of being training

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partners has been one that I am very grateful to have. It eventually became roommates in years to

come and we are close to being inseparable today around campus. I feel like because we have put

our bodies through hell together while training over the past four years, we have built a

relationship that is unlike other friendships.

Having brought him into the weight room the first week of practice I feel that I have had

a large impact on his life, and mine. Today, we are both on separate schedules, but I still see him

in the weight room training whenever I walk by. He has also decided to relate his Question

around physical fitness and is now training many people around campus for his keystone project.

It’s hard for me to imagine what he would be doing if we I hadn’t ended up meeting him through

basketball. Would he have still chosen to pursue training others in the future? Having this

experience showed me that strong friendships can be built through role modelling, and have a

large impact on what people choose to do with their lives.

Are male role models needed in Elementary schools?

Ever since I have decided to pursue becoming an elementary school teacher almost

everyone I have talked to has encouraged my pursuit as they have voiced my ability to be a

positive role model for children. In western societies, elementary school teacher positions are

overwhelmingly dominated by female teachers, having more than 84.4% female teachers in 2005

(Drudy, 2006). The increasing numbers have turned our schools into feminized institutions

where the needs of boys are not catered to, thus creating a learning gap between boys and girls

and behavioural issues (Cushman, 2008). Having many of youth population growing up with

single female parents and our school dominated by female presence, many of our youth are

growing up without the positive male role models. Therefore, there is no wonder that society is

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calling for more males to become teachers of this age group.

Personally, I never felt like I had a strong role model within my childhood at school.

Thinking back, this may have been because I did not have a male teacher until I was 12 years

old. At this point, I was more or less trying to rebel against school instead of embracing the

teachers who were teaching me, so I was far from being receptive to a positive male presence.

This attitude inevitably was carried along with me into high school where I was not as successful

as I could have been. Having to deal with the problems that were presented at my home played a

large role in not allowing me to fully grasp learning at this time. Parsons (2003) found that

children with parents who are alcoholics are far more susceptible to repeating a grade, or

dropping out of school because they have a hard time studying at home, and struggle building

relationships with teachers and students. This was true in my case, as I rebelled against teachers,

and eventually dropped out because school was too overwhelming for me.

Remembering back on the struggles that I experienced within my school days as a youth,

has led me to believe that maybe if I had a strong role model as an elementary school teacher I

could have avoided my initial rebelling against school. However, I am in favour of a push by

school boards to try and equalize the ratio of male to female teachers. I believe that candidates

must first be as qualified as their female counterparts and also show qualities of being the “right

type of man” (Jones, 2003). Jones (2003) found that male elementary school teacher need to be

the “right type of man,” which is having a blend of both macho and nurturing characteristic in

order to be successful role models for the youth and promote positive development. Therefore,

hiring any man because the ratios of teachers is highly swayed towards females would be

defeating the purpose of the reason that we need more male teachers, which is by engaging

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young males with proper role models of the same gender. If this is achieved we may start to see

the learning gap between boys and girls begin to equalize and many of the behavioural issues

eliminate themselves.

The Importance of Positive Role Models for Youth

Role models can present themselves from many different aspects of life. Coaches,

teachers, parents, celebrities, brother and sisters are all role models. It is in our nature to aspire to

emulate and be guided by admirable individuals, so it is the obligation of those who are in

influential positions to inspire the future generation to become morale, self-assured human

beings. In essence, role models are responsible for guiding the successes and failures of their

protégés: if one individual is given adequate guidance, resources and tools to be successful, they

are considerably more likely to be successful. In contrast, if another is left alone, not given a

chance and discouraged, they are being set up for failure. A role model must look at their

personal self and extrinsic verbal and non-verbal messages, and analyze whether their actions are

beneficial or discouraging. Being a role model is a significant undertaking that will have

significant lasting impacts to the individual or groups we guide and influence; therefore, it is

crucial that the role as a person of influence is taken seriously so that the younger generation is

provided the tools to continue in a positive, dynamic path in life.

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