How to Awaken Your Soul and Transform Your Life Right Now:

8 Hidden Life Altering Lessons in Adversity and their Powerful Impact In Living A Fulfilled And Happy Life.

Dedication

This book is dedicated with profound love and gratitude to Sri Sathya Sai Baba, my tTeacher, and sSpiritual gGuide and my dearest friend who came into my life in 1988 and became my Beloved Swami. He has been the guiding force and director of my Divine Life’s play with all its many challenges that seem to go against all reason and logic but seem quite perfect and beautifully timed in the unfolding of spiritual lessons that lay at the heart of these so calledso-called painful times. I had thought when I was still quite young that I was a very logical and rational person to start with! Sai Baba in his infinite guidance over the many decades has been sending me totoo many renowned spiritual teachers to learn the meaning of the Vedas including Ayurveda or the traditional Indian healing medicinal approach, yoga and deep meditation practices.

It seemed to me that on many occasions my western medical training and education did not quite match the depth and vast bottomless well of wisdom contained in the study and practice of these ancient Spiritual Healing Sciences. Over the years despite the seemingly endless struggles I put myself in Swami has guided me in my heart. His instructions are more than the voice of my conscience. When I call on Him especially in the depths of going through whatever difficulties, sorrow, pain or health crisis life presents, His Presences comes a quieting inside, a calmness, and confidence I know for sure I was not aware of at the start of whatever struggle I was going through at that time. It takes a certain amount of courage to take an action that is quite unlike what I’d usually do.

And yet the inner prompting is so clear and action in the required direction is the only obvious thing to do in these moments. And thenThen I lose it again and again. I used to wonder if the struggle was all that Life life was made for until through Swami’s guidance I learned, practiced and taught meditation programs for Constant Integrated Awareness. And then I understood better His words “that there is an expiration date to all our pain and struggle and in fact jJoy, Happiness and Creativity are our birthright and not the negative states!”

The reason for this book is my deep belief that many people have wondrous unexplainable miracles that happen to them throughout their lives and are afraid to share for fear of being thought of as odd or different from the crowd. We need more people to talk and ponder on this mystery called Life life with all its many gifts…the good, the bad and the ugly. I offer this book to Swami and all my brothers and sisters on the spiritual path with profound gratitude, humility, and love.

Introduction

This book is based on my perception of my the experiences during the different phases of my life journey. It is not meant for everyone. This book is for you if you have experienced unusual hardships or adversities in any area or areas your life and you felt there was a powerful hidden message, an underlying lesson from your Soul/Spirit/God Consciousness/Life-force energy whatever the concept of Cosmic Intelligence or Higher Consciousness means for you. And despite not knowing what this life lesson was/is deep down you felt/feel that your struggles are not in vain and you’d like to have the insights what the Divine Plan for you was about. God’s Presence in your adversities or challenges can be revealed in a number of ways; either though through your inner knowing, through the appearance and guidance of a Spiritual spiritual teacher or through the support of a like-minded spiritual community. I’d like you to consider that nothing happens in your life without the power of your sSoul cConsciousness.

PART I - The Dream

Prologue – Why is this happening to me? Where did I go wrong?

I laidlay in bed totally exhausted and bleeding profusely from my uterine fibroids. I had not eaten or drunk anything for past several hours. There was no one to turn to for help, even for a glass of water. I was so enveloped in self-pity and despair. I was a victim of an unhappy marriage and kept blaming and beating myself up.

And then, right in front of me, it happened. I could not believe my eyes as I watched a mouse running across the small messy room I was living in.

My indignation and anger rose within. This is not right. I refuse to accept this situation. What if there were mice in the children’s room? God forbid. I sat up in bed. I Cleanedcleaned myself up and walked out of the stinking room I had holed myself in for several weeks. I then placed a call to a pest control company to get rid of mice in the house. I had thought, without even checking in with them in the first place, that I would not be able to afford their prices. But when I approached them they were so affordable! What was I thinking? I also called my attorney and got a processer to serve my husband his divorce papers. I was ready to leave my marriage of 20 years.

That was the start of my getting angry with my life situation that I put myself in and intent on taking responsibility especially at playing the role of a victim and dive deep within for the will to live. I was finally prepared to completely surrender my life to God. I had tried everything and nothing worked. Surrender to God is not the same as giving up on oneself. On the contrary, it means not resisting life and letting you see the challenges and feel the pain without the resistance. Pain whether physical, mental, emotional is an energetic force. When I allowed pain to pass through me without self-judgment, criticism, blame, feeling guilty or any of the many negatives emotional states that my mind can conjure up at any given moment, miracles happened! What a conundrum!

“Wasn’t surrender a passive act??” I thought. And yet here I was determined to do the right thing following my guidance within no matter that I was severely ill, had no monies or support. The next few months and years during and just after my divorce certainly called me to come forth with strong determination, and calling on God furiously to help me out…When I gave in and knowingly stepped over my heart basedheart-based values because it was the easy thing to do in many instances, it felt like calamities were raining down hard. And whenWhen I stood for my right to pursue my guidance within despite the seeming hardships such as lacking the finances or facing strong opposition from family and friends, then miracles happened, and the situations always miraculously turned around.

This book is about my journey into the pits of hell and how my cries for guidance were heard by Sri Sathya Sai Baba, my Teacherteacher, Spiritual Guidespiritual guide and my friend. His compassionate

words and Presence presence helped me transcend my adversities and slowly led me to teach and share these hard won revelations about hidden uUniversal pPrinciples. Sai Baba taught me through dreams and His many discourses both in person and through the hundreds of books and articles. He wrote about the value of using faith, determination, surrender and self-discipline to uncover the deeper spiritual lessons that lay within the darkest challenges of my life. Pain is a powerful and effective medium to transform anyone’s life. Mine is no different. Pain is inevitable in every human’s life but suffering is optional.

I found that through the deeper understanding of why challenges present themselves in life and the application of Sai Baba’s Human Value based principles which are non-denominational and transcend any given religious beliefs, all life challenges especially painful crisis could be met with a positive even joyful mind set. My life was certainly filled with all the various kinds of human challenges that could not be resolved satisfactorily with all my psychiatric training until I stumbled across these life changing universal principles that anyone could use to live a lLove centered life of service and gratitude. Suffering took on a different meaning. I had a choice every moment if I wanted to suffer or not. And from this place of freedom, love and non-judgment I had more clarity in my next steps.

Hidden Life Lesson 1: Dealing With Painful Health Challenges and Fears: Practicing Non-judgment and Compassion.with Painful Health Challenge and Fears: Practicing non judgment and Compassion towards one’s self and others through Meditation and loving service helps to heal all pain.

Sai Baba’s relevant teachings on dealing with the painful life experiences that I found incredibly helpful:

“Pleasure is an interval between two pains.” (SSS, XV, 4:20)

“In answer to a query from a New Yorker, Baba once said: Do you think I would confront you with pain, were there not a reason for it? Open your heart to pain, as you do now for pleasure, for it is my will, wrought by me for your own good. Welcome it as a challenge. Do not turn away from it. Turn within and derive the strength to bear it and benefit by it.”

(M2, 89)

“Life is a challenge, meet it! Life is a dream, realize it! Life is a game, play it! Life is Lovelove, enjoy it!”

“When you have malaria, you have to take bitter quinine medicine, which is the medicine needed to cure the ailment. Likewise, when adversity confronts you, you should treat it as medicine, as something for your own good. Gold has to be melted and beaten to make a jewel. A diamond is cut to make it brilliant. Likewise, troubles in life serve to refine a person. Love enables you to welcome even hardships as meant for your own good”. 17 SSS 29:52-2, Nov 23, 1996.

Chapter 1 – Rude Awakening: Breaking away from the old life

I was born in Singapore, an island nation in South East Asia, the eldest of three children. Though my parents were conservative Hindus, I was raised in a loving family. Since my parents both worked, my brothers and I had nannies who looked after us growing up. Our first nanny or “ayah” as we called her was a gentle and soft spoken Muslim lady. She loved God and prayed five times a day for the six years she worked for us. Although my My family and I were Hindus. but because my mother was a teacher at a Catholic cConvent, I had a Catholic schooling for the first 12 years of my early education. Eighty fiveEighty-five percent of Singapore’s population is of Chinese ethnicity and so it was natural for us to hang out at my friends’ traditional Chinese medicine shops and celebrate all the different multi religionmulti-region festivals, whether it was Christianity, Islam, Buddhism or Hinduism. As a kid I remember it was great fun to have the opportunity to have so many wonderful different religious, culinary or traditional Asian healing approaches experiences.

I started praying when I was 6 years old. We also prayed weekly as a family at the Hindu temples. And later I attended my a Catholic convent chapel and church services. Ever since a young age especially after learning about the advent of Jesus Christ from my devoted and enthusiastic Catholic school nuns, I prayed earnestly that if God came down again on planet earth that I would know and meet God in this lifetime. I also learned to meditate at a young age so that I could get good grades in school. I did well in my studies and entered medical school. Those years of medical study were grueling. Before I completed my studies, my father arranged my marriage. It was many years later that I found out that my marriage was actually fixed secretly by my father at the time of my birth with his best friend’s older son.

Unknown to me I really did not have a choice in the matter of selecting my life partner. When I was 22 years old my engagement was announced by my future father-in-law without my permission to our friends and family at a dinner function. I was so shocked but I respected my parents and I trusted their decision at that time that this was going to be a good arrangement for me. I reasoned at that time that I was so busy at medical school that I did not have the desire or time to date anyone or even to think about what I wanted from life.

Hidden Life Lesson Secret 2: What is the real purpose of education and how to deal with the challenge of breaking away from the influence of outdated traditional or cultural beliefs?

Baba’s Teaching Quote:

“The influence of parents on the children’s minds is very significant. It is actually the primary and dominant influence on the child’s personality and behavior pattern.”

“Education is not acquisition of burdensome information regarding objects and men. It is the awareness of the immortal spirit within, which is the spring of joy, peace and courage.”

“College education gives you the chance to earn money and live thereupon. But, unless it destroys certain illusions that are nourished by the common level of mankind, your lives will not be happy.”

Personal Reflection: Although I was well grounded in the secular and medical education, I was ill prepared whilest being immersed in my medical studies and exams to take on finding a suitable husband and deciding on entering into marriage for the right reasons. I did not want to take personal responsibility and did not want to deal with the anxieties that are inherent in the dating process before the right minded individual can show up. I was willing to relinquish this responsibility to my parents. And then it became easy for me to blame them when challenges in the marriage showed up. I held this blame for several years. When actually all the time I had a choice! Everything we do in life we have a choice and that realization is true freedom.

Chapter 2 –Dealing with Impossible Challenges: Facing Dilemmas with no inner alignment and with an elusive sense of happiness.

I had our kids soon after marriage despite the stress of doing psychiatry residency and having to manage a complicated extended household with in lawsin-laws and parents constantly in disagreement with each other over what I felt were minor issues. In spite of becoming a qualified psychiatrist I was so ill prepared and totally lacking family management skills. There was no peace at home despite the outer

false appearance of living a jet setting life with beautiful kids, servants and successful but highly stressful careers. Things got so bad that my parents strongly advised me to leave my husband after the first years of marriage after repeated instances of witnessing emotional abuse at home. I refused and then they slowly stopped coming to visit. It was too painful for them to sit and watch. Any intervention on their part resulted in bitter quarrels at home.

I was so exhausted trying to keep up the outer appearance of a successful family, but was slowly crumbling inside with despair and was too ashamed to ask for help. Watching my kids grow was my chief source of joy. I remember many times when I felt like a total fraud and was crying bitterly at feeling so helpless at my situation and incapable of finding peace no matter how hard I tried. Every so calledso-called good intention just back-fired and I was held responsible and called names.

The one confidant I had was with my maternal aunt who lived in Australia. She had gone through a lot in her own married life and understood my predicament. Through her and my uncle, I was introduced to their Guru or Spiritual spiritual teacher, Sathya Sai Baba. And though I loved them so much, I had a tough time initially of believing that He he was Divine Divine Incarnation.incarnation. But Swami, as they called him had a powerful message of how to live a life of loving service to others. Since a young age growing up under the influence of my Catholic convent nuns I too believed very much in and my desire of being a physician was to bring healing service to others.

Hidden Life Lesson Secret #3: How do we turn to God when the mind is restless and filled with pain?

Sai Baba’s relevant quote:

“Everyone should treat whatever happens to them as gifts from God. Pleasure and pain should be treated alike as Divine divine gifts. There is a unique joy in this process. In daily life we tend to treat defeat, loss or grief as calamities. But nothing occurs in the world without a cause. Hunger is the cause for eating. Thirst is the cause for drinking. Difficulties are the cause of sorrow. If you would like to enjoy enduring happiness, you must discover the source of such happiness. That source is love (prema). There is nothing greater than love in this world. Everything has a price. The price to be paid for enduring happiness is Divine Lovedivine love. The primary wealth for man is Love. Everyone should seek to acquire this wealth. With this wealth anyone can enjoy enduring bliss”.

“Man has to undertake various types of Sadhana (Spiritual spiritual practices) to purge his Heart heart of impurities. Exercises such as meditation, chanting, etc., can only provide mental satisfaction. It is only when the Heart heart is melted in the heat of Divine Lovedivine love that one can succeed in getting rid

When looking back at those early years of marriage, it was most amazing thing that despite the confusion around my spiritual alignment, Swami’s help often came in unexpected ways. I used to cry out in utter desperation when things got really bad that if there was really a God and He was here on earth, He had to come and help me out of my messy situations. Help always came in those times. Out of the blue neighbors and even total strangers would suddenly turn up at my front gate and offer me Swami’s video messages that held the answers to the tough dilemmas I was facing. I was tested very often. How could I possibly keep in alignment with my inner values and my different and demanding roles as a wife, a mother, a daughter, a daughter in law, a grand-daughter-in-law, and a physician? I took the help gratefully because the situations would become peaceful when I meditated and totally

of bad qualities and make the hHeart shine in its pristine effulgence. Just as the Sun’s sun’s rays can burn a heap of cotton if the rays are concentrated through a lens, the rays of the intellect would destroy one’s bad qualities only when they are passed through the lens of Divine Lovedivine love”.

I shared my encounter with Swami privately with Dr. Devi. She was a long time neighbor of Swami since childhood and had a number of fond memories and miraculous stories of His Omnipotence, His Omnipresence and Omniscience. Dr.Devi very kindly informed me that my experiences were “normal” and that millions of ordinary people had these miraculous moments either they met Sai Baba directly or in their dreams or He is known to bilocate and appear to many people in different parts of the world at the same time! These were recorded incidents described by thousands and thousands of people worldwide. (Visit www.Radiosai.org for the remarkable interviews with Darshan or the sighting of a Holy Person is a custom for ordinary people in India to meet their spiritual teacher or an enlightened Being being and to receive blessings. Darshan of Sai Baba is very special.

For one, you cannot come unless He he “invites” you. In our case, this was really hard to explain as my husband who did not even like Sai Baba made the flight arrangements so that we were in Bangalore for a full day when there were so many daily flights to and from India and Singapore. The sudden appearance of the elder monk and his insistence that my husband take him to visit Sai Baba was totally unexpected. The day we made the trip to Prashanti happened without our prior knowing also to be the holy festival of Deepavali, the day of victory of Light of Spiritual wisdom over darkness or ignorance was an especially poignant day for me. Ray of Divine Light was starting to come into the depths of my ignorance, my judgments

Meeting with Swami had a very different effect on my husband. He was just angry and complained bitterly about the bad toilets at the ashram! Swami’s Prashanti ashram those days had not been built to accommodate Western mindedWestern-minded devotees who were not used to the less than sanitary conditions prevalent in India those days! The older monk listened attentively to him and did not say anything. When we were at dinner he sat next to me. I was still in a daze all throughout the trip back. He knew what had taken place with me and told me many things about my future life especially that it would be another 2 years before I returned to see Swami again. How he correctly guessed all this is a mystery since the next trip happened in exactly the time period as he predicted. We never saw him again after that impressionable trip to India.

Hidden Life Lesson 4: What is the secret cost to pay for acquiring the True Spiritual Giftstrue spiritual gifts of enduring Peace and Happinesspeace and happiness?

Personal Reflection: Meditation gave me the tools to dig deeper into the outward surface and challenges of my worldly life and I learned to surrender to the Divine within. It takes patience and faith to learn to meditate properly from a spiritual teacher. God hears all prayers but only in the meditative silence of my heart could I feel His all-knowing Peace and Bliss. In this Divine space all worry, anxieties, guilt passed through me without judgment and blame. Only Love remained. Then the miracles happened!

Again I don’t recommend adding text in boxes as it will wreak havoc when formatting your book for publication - if that’s what you intend to do.

Sai Baba’s Rrelevant Qquotes:

Your life may be compared to a stalk of sugar cane. Like the cane, which is hard and has many knots, life is full of difficulties. But these difficulties must be overcome to enjoy the bliss of the Divinedivine, just as the sugarcane has to be crushed and its juice converted into cane-sugar (jaggery) to enjoy the permanent sweetness. Enduring bliss can be got only by overcoming trials and tribulations. Gold cannot be made into an attractive jewel without it being subjected to the process of melting in a crucible and being beaten into the required shape. When I address devotees as, ‘golden one (Bangaru)’ or Divine Embodiments of Love, I really mean it! You must go through the vicissitudes of life with forbearance and become attractive jewels. You should not allow yourselves to be overwhelmed by difficulties. Develop self-confidence and have firm faith in God.

- Divine Discourse, Jan 15, 1992

Silence Develops LoveDevelops LoveSilence is the only language of the realized. PractisePractice moderation in speech. That will help you

in many ways. It will develop love, for most misunderstandings and factions arise out of carelessly spoken words. When the foot slips, the wound can be healed; but when the tongue slips, the wound it causes in the heart of another will fester for life.

The tongue is liable for four big errors: uttering falsehood, scandalizing, finding fault with others, and excessive articulation. These have to be avoided if there is to be peace for the individual as well as for society. The bond of brotherhood will be tightened if people speak less and speak sweetly. That is why silence was prescribed as a vow for spiritual aspirants by the scriptures. You are all spiritual aspirants at various stages of the road, and so this discipline is valuable for you also.

Sathya Sai Speaks, Volume I,Chapter 10: Viveka and Vairagya.

Solitude Means to Be in Communion with GodGod is the embodiment of truth. Truth is God. Therefore you should rely on truth. In fact, you are the

embodiment of truth. It is not something new to be discovered afresh. Truth will manifest in you if you sit in deep silence and solitude. What does the word “solitude” mean? People have wrong notions about this word and misinterpret it in many ways. They think that sitting alone in a room with all doors and windows shut is solitude. This is not solitude but loneliness. Many others think that sitting under a tree in a forest or in a mountain cave is solitude. That also is not the true meaning of solitude.

Solitude means to be in communion with God, wherever you may be – in the bazaar, in a meeting, or in the midst of a large number of people. Wherever you are, your mind should be focused on God without being distracted by worldly and family matters. Solitude is total communion between you and God. Nothing else should divert your attention from God. That is the real meaning of solitude. Whatever you may be doing or even when traveling in a bus or train or plane, always keep your mind firmly fixed on God. While doing meditation or contemplating on God, do not allow any other distraction to divert your mind. Only then can you have the experience of Divine light.

Sanathana Sarathi, September 2011.Lack of Values Is the Cause of Violence in the World

“Everyone should treat whatever happens to them as gifts from God. Pleasure and pain should be treated alike as Divine gifts. There is a unique joy in this process. In daily life we tend to treat defeat, loss or grief as calamities. But nothing occurs in the world without a cause. Hunger is the cause for eating. Thirst is the cause for drinking. Difficulties are the cause of sorrow. If you would like to enjoy enduring happiness, you must discover the source of such happiness. That source is love (prema). There is nothing greater than love in this world. Everything has a price. The price to be paid for enduring happiness is Divine Love. The primary wealth for man is Love. Everyone should seek to acquire this wealth. With this wealth anyone can enjoy enduring bliss”.

Personal Reflection:

Learning to develop trust, devotion, and faith in the Divine Will did not come easy for me. Only through repeated hard knocks in life did I see that surrender to the Divine Will within and the alignment with Human Values of Truth, Right Action, Peace, Nonviolence and Unconditional Love in thought, word and deed had to happen in order to experience a fulfilled, peaceful, happiness filled existence no matter what the challenges may be.

I also realized years later that when I was not taking care of my own health and wellbeing-being and running around trying to manage everything on my plate, as most women tend to do, I am frequently functioning from one or more of my H.A.L.T. moments i.e. hunger, anger, lonely and tired negative states. These triggered not only in me but also in my husband and family members negative and unpleasant reactions. Life instead of being filled with peace and happiness became very stressful. I was exhausted trying to keep the false external facade of a successful family life up. Swami also says that not taking care of one’s well-being is a symptom of self-inflicted violence! I wish I had listened more to these words of wisdom in those years especially when my mother repeatedly told me to rest and take care of myself.

On the other hand, when I did rest and take care of my health by remembering to practisepractice even during the running around, silent communion with God and constant integrate awareness of my God/Soul consciousness, I was at peace. Then it became easier no matter the challenges to perform all acts as loving service to the Divine inherent in everyone and in every situation without attachment to outcome no matter the challenges. I felt a glimmer of hope that this was the only real way out of life’s pain and dramas. I also saw that my personal desires and attachments towards outcome and for social approval obstructed me from realizing the Divinity present even in trying situations. God’s is Omnipresent, Omnipotent and Omniscient. Nothing escapes His Love for each one of us whether we acknowledge Him or not.

Chapter 4 – The Spiritual Quest: Miracles Happen with With Surrender

Soon afterwards I had to apply for an overseas posting for my post-doctoral fellowship. At first I thought it made logical sense to have my fellowship in a well-known psychiatric facility in Adelaide where my uncle and aunt had offered to help look after my kids. Curiously, after meditating on what I supposed to do I had the intuition to do my fellowship at Harvard Medical School! No one in my family or at my hospital believed I could get in. It seemed an impossible task.

But a miracle happened! Despite the challenges such as the initial high cost quoted by the administrators at the Harvard psychiatric facility and many instances of miscommunications on both sides, I was accepted for my post-doctoral fellowship by the head of Psychiatry and Epidemiology at the Harvard School of Public Health in Boston. I refused to leave without my kids despite the urgings of my husband and my parents to do so. They felt that I could manage the kids on my own even with the help of the young housekeeper who was accompanying us. She did not speak any English and had severe car and plane sickness. My husband could not take the year off from his high levelhigh-level work for the duration of the fellowship.

When we finally arrived in Boston in late summer of 1994, I was initially told us that there was no affordable University university housing was available since term was about to start and the existing Harvard apartments were all taken up.

I remember during meditation just before I left Singapore asking God and making a long list of whatever I desired for our stay, including a nearby apartment, car, nearby school and a nursery for the kids, a nearby Sai Baba Center with education in human values classes for the kids, dance and music classes, a good mandarin teacher as the kids were starting on their Chinese classes in their Singapore classes and needed to keep up their proficiency etc. etc.etc. It was an exhaustive list! I just kept meditating on the list and visualizing the outcome.

And thenThen the miracles started to happen again. In spite of the warnings by the realtors, a most perfect apartment in Brookline with many rooms and just 5 mins from my work facility and walking distance from the children’s school and nursery just unfolded. I did not have to travel far at all! Just before he left, my husband had warned me that I was not to attend a Sai Ccenter unless it was within walking distance from our apartment. I accepted his condition and prayed to Swami in my heart that he take care of this. Within a month the president of the Sai center called to welcome us and at the end of our conversation when I asked him where the center was meeting, he casually mentioned that they met for services every Sunday in the basement of a Church church situated right across from our apartment. That meant that kids and I could attend the weekly service.!

My kids and I had a wonderful time experiencing the novelty of life in Boston. I have immense gratitude for my husband for the care he took to make sure that the family were well taken care of as my fellowship stipend was too small to pay for the rental apartment. He was extremely stressed at work in Singapore and with the travel to Boston to visit and be with the kids. He missed them very much for the entire year and blamed me for the anguish he had to undergo at the separation with his beloved kids.

Balancing the children’s needs while managing the home, with work and studies at Harvard was really challenging. The weekly attendance at the Sai center was a constant source of spiritual growth and positive charge for me. There were so many wonderful people who looked after us and our many needs! Once during an especially stressful period when I was meditating and chanting Bhajans (devotional songs to God) at the weekly service, I was shown a heart breaking inner vision of Swami holding a silver plate with a bleeding heart placed on it. As I was looking at this inner scene, I realized with a shock that it was my heart He was taking care of! I was spared from feeling the pain of heartaches in spite of so many troubling situations that was happening in my life at that time! I realize now that it was beyond my human capability to handle the challenges, the trials and tribulations I was going through and I just “told” Swami to take care of my burdens. I was also involved in the Sai study groups where spiritual teachings and experiences were being discussed. I had a lot to learn about the mysteries of life that my Harvard education was not able to provide satisfactory answers to.

The most wonderful miracles were just unfolding that set the career path I was to take in the coming months and years ahead.

Hidden Life Lesson Secret #5: Why is it difficult to let go fears and anxieties of life? What does it take to experience the Divine divine in everyone and in every situation?

Sai Baba’s relevant quote:

Do not look at the world with a worldly eye. Look upon it with the eye of the Soul (Atma), as the projection of the Supreme Self (Paramatma). Then you can cross the horizon of dualities into the region of the Oneness. The One is experienced as many because of the forms and names people have imposed on it. That is the result of the mind playing its game. Withdrawal from sensory objects promotes inner exploration (nivritti), not outer inquiry and activity (pravritti). Along inner exploration lies the path of intellectual inquiry (jnana). The sacred activities like rituals and sacrifices laid down in the sScriptures help only to cleanse the consciousness. The freedom that makes one aware of the truth is gained only by listening to the Guru, ruminating over what has been listened to, and meditating on its validity and significance. Only those who have detached their minds from desire can benefit from the Guru.

- Sutra Vahini, Ch 1.

Avoid spending precious time in useless pursuits and be ever vigilant. Engage the senses of perception and action, and the body in congenial but noble tasks to keep them busy. There should be no chance for sloth (tamas) to creep in. And, every act must promote the good of others. While confining oneself to activities that reflect one's natural duties (swa-dharma), it is possible to sublimate them into spiritual practices for the body and the senses. You must also withdraw from sensory objects. This implies having a state of mind that is beyond all dualities that agitate and affect, such as joy and grief, liking and disliking, good and bad, praise and blame. Such common experiences one encounters can be overcome or negated by means of spiritual exercises or intellectual inquiry. Endeavorur to escape from the opposites and dualities, and attain balance and stability.

- Sutra Vahini, Ch 1.

The right angle to approach a difficult problem is the 'try-angle'. – Baba

“We see the outer circumstances, the processes that result in the final event, and in our ignorance we judge that this set of causes produced these effects. We guess the nature of emotions and feelings from what we gauge from events. But circumstances, events, emotions, and feelings are all simply ‘instruments’ in His hands, serving His will and His purpose. When the moment comes, He uses them for His plan and brings about the outcome He has willed. He is the embodiment of time (Kala); He comes as the Master of Time. The force of Atmic faith is the bridge that spans the chasm, and for those who have developed that force and faith, floods are of no concern. With strong faith as their safe support, they can reach the other bank, braving all dangers. All this, is but a grand puppet show by the Creator, the Master Director!”

- Bhagavatha Vahini, Ch 9.

The current animates and activates all bulbs; the Divine animates and activates all. – Baba

When the heart is pure, the light of wisdom shines. – Baba

Pure and unselfish love towards all living beings considering them as embodiments of the Divine, with no expectation of reward, is alone true love. Love must be free from dislikes, friendly, and compassionate towards all beings. Whatever be the vicissitudes one may face, whatever be the personal

sorrows and privations one may undergo, true love should remain unaffected. Today, when any difficulty arises or when some trouble crops up, love turns into hatred. True love is the sweet fruit that grows out of the fragrant flower of good deeds. Love rules without recourse to the sword. It binds without laws. Like the lotus which blooms when the sSun rises, the heart of man blossoms when love enters it. Like the glow of the flame in a fire, like the rays of the Sun, Divine Love is the natural quality present in every human being.

- Divine Discourse, 6 May 1985.

Personal Reflection:

When the student is ready the teacher will appear. Having the right Spiritual spiritual teacher, the developing the understanding of the deeper significance of the spiritual truths and opportunities for practicing the teachings in daily living with the company of like-minded spiritual aspirants are crucial for One’s spiritual growth. All spiritual aspirants face roadblocks to test and develop the right mindset with devotion and faith in the Presence of the Divine and patience and compassion for oneself and others. For this growth feeling the Presence of God’s unconditional Love in one’s heart

Chapter 5: Making Sense Of Meditation And Miracles From A Western Trained Physician’s Perspective

My parents, who are both deceased now, were visiting us and on the very first occasion that my kids and I attended the Sai Center service in Boston my father invited a young man along with his parents and friends back to our home for tea after the afternoon service was over.

It turned out that this young man had been diagnosed with terminal cancer that which had spread to other organs in his body and he was about to start chemotherapy at Dana Farber’s Cancer centerCenter, a well-known Cancer cancer center in Boston. His family and friends started to cry as they recounted the sad story. He was only 28 years old. Ito To this date I have no idea what got into me when I told all of them that we were going to start Group group meditation tomorrow evening to help in the young man’s healing. Everyone stopped crying, brightened up and said they were coming. It was only after they left that I realized I had never attended any of Phyllis Krystal’s guided meditation workshops and had barely skimmed her book: Cutting Ties that That Bind. I was wondering at my strange outburst when the phone rang and a Sai sister I had just met for the first time earlier called to inquire if we needed any help. I asked her if she was familiar with Phyllis Krystal’s work and explained the situation with about the young man and his family. This kind person immediately put my doubts at ease and said she

not only had attended Phyllis’ workshop but was willing to come down to my place and help conduct a few group meditation sessions with me. I thanked her most profusely as the group sessions were going to be held the next day evening after work. She also had kids and was coming from a distance.

Next day we started the meditation sessions which was going to run for 4-6 weeks. Not even two days later I received a call from the young man. To my astonishment, he said that the doctors at the cancer center could not find any evidence on X-Rays and MRI of his cancer anywhere! They had already inserted the intravenous port through which they were going to run the chemotherapy drugs.

This strange occurrence of not being able to find any evidence of his cancer cells, despite the positive scans and biopsies results taken in the past 6 months continued for almost 10 months. Finally, he was given permission to return to his hometown in Virginia.

By this time, I was receiving regular guidance over the phone from Phyllis Krystal herself. I was holding more group and individual meditation sessions both at home and at the Harvard facility. There were more reported inexplicable miracle healings among the members at these sessions. I could not make head or tail of these reports.

My training and clinical work as a psychiatrist convinced me that there was something missing in the conventional medical model. There was no place for using spiritual awareness as an effective tool to enhance medical based treatments or therapy with patients.

While I was puzzling over these spontaneous healings, I was invited to meet and attend an advanced group deep meditation classes with Bill Clegern, another Sai devotee healer who was based in South Windsor, Connecticut. I hoped that Bill was would be able to provide me with the explanations behind these so calledso-called faith based healings I was seeing happening during the meditation sessions.

My ideas on self-realization were all based on the belief that one had to meditate in solitude away from family, friends and the usual day-to-day activities. That was until I met Bill Clegern. I first met Bill in 1994 in a crowded classroom. I had been told a couple of weeks prior to our first meeting that he was a brilliant meditation teacher who taught a deep level meditation class that was unlike anything that was being currently offered by other meditation teachers. He gave private sessions to only a select few students. At our first meeting in the classroom, Bill who was a handwriting analysis expert, looked at my writing and asked that I come to see him for a private session.

Working with Bill in subsequent private sessions on exploring human consciousness, I was led to examine my own deficiencies in the understanding of my spiritual origin. I had to come to terms with transcending the layers put up by my conscious mind, ego and subconscious before I could reach my soul consciousness energy. I came to Bill looking for a scientific and objective

method of self-inquiry. What I discovered subsequently was that it is still possible to retain one’s objectivity in such a subjective and personal area of self-examination.

Hidden Life Lesson Secret #6: How do we face the pain and struggles of Life life with equanimity?

Sai Baba’s Relevant Quote:

O Lord, take my love, and let it flow in fullness of devotion to Thee; O Lord, take my hands, and let them work incessantly for Thee; O Lord, take my soul, and let it be merged in One with Thee; O Lord, take my mind and thoughts, and let them be in tune with Thee; O Lord, take my everything, and let me be an instrument to work for Thee.

In a discourse delivered on 14 Sep 1997, Baba said, “Pleasure and pain go together. Pain is often the means by which God tests human beings. They should welcome such tests because they serve to promote one's spiritual development. "Students should welcome examinations because they are preliminary to promotions to a higher standard. Devotees of the present day do not relish ‘tests’. They forget that without overcoming tests they will remain where they are. Even students unfortunately are averse to examinations. This is foolish. Only through tests they can progress in life. You should welcome tests and difficulties. By overcoming them your Divinity shall be revealed.”Many times when we face difficulties in life we ask ourselves “What have I done to deserve this?” and invariably we find no answers and feel like we have been unjustly treated. The fact is tribulations and obstacles are not necessarily chastisements. A road that slopes upwards tires and stresses you, no doubt, but it does take you higher as well. When we face life and the challenges that it throws at us thus, we will make every tribulation an appraisal that'll lead to progress.”

Personal reflection:

My life started changing when I started meditating 20 mins twice a day and practicing mindful awareness in my daily activities. Meditation brings my mind to a thought-free state. This is the highest state of peace of mind. Try it and experience it yourself by visiting my free meditation videos/website. If you meditate sincerely for 20 mins twice a day, you will become calmer during the remaining twenty three23 hours and ten 10 minutes. Your mind will not be agitated by negative thoughts such as frustration, anger, sadness etc as much as before. You can also focus on mindful breath awareness during all daily activities. You might think that this will interfere with your daily activities. Fortunately,

you will find in a very short time that this will only increase your productivity and efficiency and leave you feeling calm even happy. The deeper meditation practices have brought me much peace and soul insights.

PART II

Chapter 6 – Facing the inevitable storms of Life life when trying to re integrate into an old way of life

We returned back to Singapore in 1995 to a lot of turmoil in my personal and professional life. I wanted to implement everything I had learned everywhere I could…regardless of whether folks wanted all the new found knowledge/wisdom or not!

In my professional life, it took a while to educate and train staff at my hospital. The initial resistance to anything new wore off as new staff was were trained and the practices were implemented.

I remember I had so much energy in those days running from one place to the other, doing so many things. No wonder my colleagues and my family were concerned about my health.

I was also meditating using the guided visualization practices and Bill’s deep Soul Meditations. It was and still is great! I started meditation groups at home and at the Sai center where many folks came and benefited.

Unfortunately, the situation at home worsened. My parents refused to come to my home as it there was intolerable tension between my father and husband. My mother bore the brunt of the tension fearing that she would not be allowed to see me or her beloved grandchildren. I tried to re assurereassure her to no avail.

In spite of seeing her so sad, at that time it did not occur to me to teach her to meditate, until she was hospitalized for breathing difficulties. Her condition deteriorated and she was moved to the Intensive Care Unitintensive care unit for monitoring and care. She was diagnosed to as having have acute on chronic pulmonary embolism, a very rare condition which is the presence of abnormal blood clots in the main blood vessels in her lungs. Apparently, her body for unknown reasons was throwing off blood clots into her lungs and she experienced breathing difficulties. This was happening for a couple of months round about the time of the family squabbles. One afternoon, I was in her room and we completed a guided visualization exercise to experience God’s Love. She was feeling relaxed when the nurses and doctors rushed in and insisted that I leave. They were going to intubate her and she was going to be on the life support system as her organs were failing and the internal bleeding could not be controlled.

I never dreamt for a moment that I was never going to speak to my dear mother again. I sat meditating by her side for several days, praying for her recovery. One early morning a few days later as I sat by her side, my mother left her physical body. Her struggles were over. She was finally at peace and was cremated according to the Hindu tradition a few days later.

In subsequent dreams I felt my mother’s presence. She requested for the family to feed the homeless. We believe that feeding and serving the poor will benefit the departing soul and bring them peace and closure.

Over the years during dream states and in meditations, my mother’s gentle spirit has been my constant source of hope and inspiration. A year later, a few months before her one year anniversary I experienced another request from her. This time it was to teach meditation to a hundred people. I did not understand how I was to undertake such an impossible task. Soon after having this dream, I received a call from someone who asked if I could come to his company to teach their staff meditation to handle stress. He was insistent that it had to be meditation techniques and said he was trying to locate me for a few days. I agreed and we fixed a date for me to be taken to their two facilities. I did not realize it till the day of the meetings that I had chosen my mother’s anniversary date. And yes, there were exactly a hundred people I shared meditation that day! I was so happy that I could fulfill my mother’s request and gave thanks for such a miraculous opportunity!

There were many other unusual incidents and experiences happening in my life. I learned Reiki and found out that my intuition was getting stronger. My meditations were going deeper. Many times the inner guidance just made no logical sense. I was starting to get referrals to help

people with meditation and Reiki healing for all kinds of health challenges outside of my normal psychiatric clinic hours.

Hidden Life Lesson Secret #7: Who is our greatest enemy and hell and who is our best friend and heaven?

Baba’s Relevant Quotes:

Only the Bhakta (the one who loves God) understands the Lord; only the Lord understands the Bhakta. Others cannot understand them. So, do not discuss matters relating to the Lord with those who are not bhaktas.

If anyone speaks to you on any subject having understood it wrongly, do not think of his wrong opinions but grasp only the good and the sweet in what he says.One's anger is one’s greatest enemy and one’s calmness is one’s own protection. One’s joy is one’s heaven and one’s sorrow is one’s hell. Assume silence when you are invaded by anger. Or remember the name of the Lord. Do not try to remind yourself of things which will inflame the anger more... That will do incalculable harm. A man consumed by anger can never be free of misery. For the decline in human qualities today, pride and anger are primarily responsible.

Personal Reflection

Chapter 7 – The Struggle Of Facing The The 4 Zeroess: Financial Ruin, Ill Health, No Family Support, Lost Reputation

Shortly within 2 years, we returned back to the States when my husband was unexpectedly was posted by his company to New York. Bill Clegern, my meditation teacher had told me when I had left Boston earlier that I would soon be back in the States.

Within a few months of arriving I had a dream of Baba asking me to come to India to get his sandals or padughas with two of my friend, one from Baton and the other from Toronto, Canada. I didn’t understand the significance of this dream or the sandals till much later. My friends though astonished, nevertheless came with me to India. My father who was visiting us at that time encouraged me to go and strangely my husband who was opposed to any Swami related activities did not oppose my leaving the family and kids for the ten day trip to India.

I was ecstatic when I received the sandals from Swami. They represented surrender to the human values, to God at all times. At that time I had no idea that to surrender meant not only giving up all attachments to belief system,s but also acquiring news ways of Being being in tune with the Divine.

I remember sitting with the Lord’s sandals in the huge Kulwant Hall at Prashanti Nilayam (Abode of Peace) with Swami standing right in front moving among all the devotees whom He had called to receive His sandals. There were so many experiences during that visit. There were

many miraculous stories narrated by previous recipients of the Sandals….How they had saved them from hijacking, illnesses, and challenging problems through unexplainable resolutions.

Each time I was I His Presence I would feel an incomprehensible feeling of deep compassion for individuals diagnosed to havewith cancers and in deep pain. The crying would happen for several minutes and then stop.

On my return home I was baffled by these deep feelings of compassion which would come over me when I prayed or meditated. Always with the same request to Divinedivine to bring healing to people diagnosed with cancer and in pain. At that time I was not doing anything in this area. We had just moved to the NY home in Bedford and the children were adjusting to their new schools. I was kept busy managing the home and family.

Then for unexplainable reasons, my husband insisted very strongly that I work or do something instead of managing the children and our home. His assignment was for 2 years and then we were expected to be back home in Singapore.

By an unusual coincidence, the former vice chancellor of the Harvard psychiatric facility I had trained in Boston had also just moved to New York. We communicated and he arranged for me to meet his friend, also a psychiatrist at Columbia School of Public Health in New York City.

In spite of all the physical and emotional challenges I worked for 6 years at Columbia and did my Masters in Epidemiology. I went on to do my PhD which I never completed when I was invited to join the faculty.

Interestingly during my time at Columbia in addition to my studies and later my teaching assignments, I was also deeply involved in the study of fermented soy and other natural products that help individuals diagnosed to have cancers and other chronic disease states. It was fascinating to have come across natural products that can help seriously ill people and have the National Cancer Center examine the investigations and results of the many people who were helped by the fermented soy product. I became a consultant for the fermented soy company based in the US and was invited to speak at cancer research conferences all over the world. The case studies I submitted to the National Cancer Institute gained the attention of renowned cancer and research centers both in the States and abroad. Subsequently I went on to work with like-minded collaborators in these institutions to verify the initial positive findings of using fermented soy and other natural products as part of the management protocol for individuals diagnosed with cancers and other debilitating illnesses. I was kept busy with my research and presenting the findings with my colleagues at international conferences.

All the exciting challenges going on in my professional life were matched by the pains in my relationship with my spouse. My meditations helped me tremendously to keep the balance. I felt Swami’s gentle guidance through numerous Divine divine interventions to leave the

marriage. I felt I was not ready till I did everything in my power to heal the growing rift between us.

Life has a way of working out whenever we cover up our deepest pains with lies.

When I finally confronted the pain my spouse and I were undergoing, it was clear that the marriage had to end. The confrontation with myself was long and painful and then when I decided I was going to stick with marriage in spite of my knowing it was over, my body made its own decision. I still remember the moment. That decision had a huge impact on my health and well-being. I started to bleed profusely and suddenly and was diagnosed to have hemorrhaging from uterine fibroids. . This almost violent reaction from my body made me stop and rethink the course I needed to take with my life.

I had no choice this time but to meditate in bed as I lay bleeding. I had to have blood transfusions and numerous visits to different gynecologists who concurred that I needed an emergency hysterectomy.i.e. removal of my uterus. My fibroids, though were benign, they were growing rapidly and could turn cancerous at any time. They had to be removed. In spite of being weak I refused the surgery. My late mother and her sisters, my aunts including a cousin all suffered from uterine problems and underwent even more suffering from post-operative adhesion colic or abdominal pain when they had their uteruses removed. Besides I knew I was not only physically ill, but mentally and emotionally drained as well.

One day in that distressful state as I lay exhausted in bed was when I saw the mouse in my room as described earlier in this book’s prologue. I just knew I had to do something to prevent the mice from getting to the children’s rooms which were a level above in the home. My spouse had refused to take action to remove these pests saying it was too costly to call in the exterminator. It was then it hit me how dependent I was on him and how he was right that I did not take responsibility for my actions and the kids. Instead I blamed him for anything that went wrong in our marriage. I was playing the perfect victim role for so many years!

I was so angry with myself and for our sad state of affairs. I called the pest exterminator and got them to come and remove all the pests in the home. And there were plenty of them! And it did not cost a huge sum of monies.

The anger energy that flowed into me gave me also the clarity I was seeking and the courage to take the appropriate actions. My marriage was over. And I had no money, no job, no visa and no health. My kids were supposed to be taken away from me and our home to be sold. I had totally refused to see or accept the inevitability of the impending situation. I had no choice but to surrender completely to Swami accepting whatever the Divine Willeddivine willed.

Hidden Life Lesson Secret #8: How do I turn off the vicious self-negative talk in my mind when things do not go the way I planned? Why is self-hatred and lack of self-compassion a serious break in Divine Law?

Baba’s Relevant Quotes:

If your worldly desires do not get fulfilled, do not blame it on the love of God: there is no relationship between such desires and the love of God!

How can one get rid of the vicious work of the mind, which impedes further advancement? — Very simply: do not try to “muffle” it, but just think about God! The nature of the mind is such that it is necessary for it to be preoccupied with something, so let it be preoccupied with God! And when it is preoccupied with God, it stops. [35]

If you are not able yet to do this, then occupy it with repetition of the name of God or with another useful activity.

“Happiness is essential for God-realization. It is one of the big gateways to Divinity. If man is unhappy, this is not just a flaw. This is one of the most serious flaws! This is an obstacle on the way to self-realization!

“In most cases people are unhappy because of worldly aspirations, attachments, and enjoyments: they pay too much attention to that which is worldly.

“In order to help one get rid of this flaw, it is necessary to point out how serious this flaw is. One should realize that worldly desires are never-ending like waves in the sea!” [35]

In many cases, the reason for people’s suffering is that only through suffering God can convince them of the necessity of turning inside, into the depth of the multidimensional structure of their organisms, of the necessity of self-examination. Without this, such people will never get rid of suffering! God is inside, in the depth! He heals from there!* [35]

“It is only when you are far from the tTruth that you suffer and feel pain.

“At a distance from the bazaar, one hears only a huge indistinct uproar. But, as we approach it and walk into it, one can clearly distinguish the separate bargaining.

“So too, until the reality of the Supreme is known, you are overpowered and stunned by the uproar of the world, but once you enter deep into the realm of spiritual endeavor, everything becomes clear and the knowledge of the reality awakens within you. Until then you will be caught up in the meaningless noise of argumentation, disputation and exhibitionist flamboyance.

In an interview Sai Baba once told his devotees:

“If you really want my grace, there are three zeroses. One..you lose all the material possessions; everything and you still crave my grace. Second step: All your kinsman, your close relatives, everyone you lose. You are all alone in the world. Can you still yearn my grace? Seek

my grace?” And “the third one” he said “Oh but then everybody will think you are a saint or a sage now. And now, when I spoil your reputation. Everything that you believed in good, if I make it bad. And you are so confused you will want to run away. But at that moment, if you can turn around and say “I still need your love and grace”, you will have me completely.”

In a discourse on February 12, 1989, Baba said, “There are two categories of happiness in the world: Acquired Happiness and Self-generating Bliss. Acquired happiness is associated with sensory objects; it arises and vanishes according to circumstances. This applies to everyone in the world; what is experienced when things are enjoyed is evanescent. So this type of joy has been described as Acquired or Derived Happiness. As it is got and lost by human effort, it is not true bliss. “Man, however, seeks lasting bliss (Ananda). In truth he is the embodiment of bliss and is filled with bliss. Bliss constitutes his very nature and being. It exists of itself in him, so why does he not experience it? Being unaware of his true nature, he is obsessed with the external world and fails to experience the bliss within him.”Elaborating on this on February 1, 2001, Baba said:“Bliss is within you; it emanates from your sacred feelings. So you have to manifest bliss from within; it cannot be bestowed on you by others. No one can take the bliss away from you, and you cannot obtain it from outside. “With purity of heart, steadiness of mind and selfless actions, one can earn divine grace which can remove any amount of suffering in a trice. Without divine grace, one cannot achieve anything, therefore one must undertake activities that will earn that grace. Peace and happiness cannot be obtained from the external world. Only divine grace can bring you true happiness.”

Part III: Chapter 8: Finding and Practicsing My Truth to break the bad luck cycle

What was the cause for all the discontent and pain in my life? I remember when I had my “Aahaa” moment of profound realization as to why the Law of Attraction did not quite work to create the life I wanted. It was during a meditation session when I was feeling quite ill. I realized that I could only move through the pain in my life by learning to trust my Soul soul process and stop resisting life. and to forgive myself and my husband. I had my aahaha moment on the meaning of life when I was lying ill in bed after a particularly challenging visit that day to both my divorce lawyer and the doctor’s clinic.

Over the next few weeks I created a holistic system for putting together my cutting edge transformational and spiritual practices eliminate self doubts, negativity and fears that had taken over my life, my physical, mental and emotional health and wellbeing and true happiness.

I realized that the key to developing this holistic system was to align my core values with my Vision vision and purpose in life in everything I undertake.

The results were nothing short of a miracle.. In a short time I regained back my health, completed my divorce on good terms with my ex, raised my kids to be self sufficient self-sufficient and adjusted, developed two successful businesses and

Surrendering to the Divine: The Power of Being In Constant Integrated Awareness

Chapter 11: Human Values and Meditation

Human beings are at the crossroads today, where on one side they become violent or frustrated and on the other side depressed or suicidal. Only the knowledge about our spirit - which is all love, beauty and peace, and which transcends the boundary of all our concepts, imaginations and identities - can help us bring freedom from this frustration and violence.

What are human values? Compassion, integrity, peace, happiness, cooperation, friendliness, joy, smiling, laughter, lightness, wanting to help, sense of belongingness, caring for each other - all of these qualities contribute to human values and they need to be nourished and brought out.

A child is born with these values. Children have these values within them. Teachers and parents need to nourish these values consciously and by example. As they grow up, some of the values are not apparent. Meditation can bring out the human values in everyone, values that are clouded by stress.

PART III – Surrender The power in Constant Integrated Awareness

Chapter 13 –Creating a Future of Loving Service to the Divine:

Honoring My my gifts: Creation of Divine Inspired scientific Dietary Supplements and SoulAccess Meditation programs for Health and Wellness for All…

••See SoulAccess meditation pPrograms and repurpose my Prevent Cancer book••

Epilogue – Living a SoulPurpose Joyous Life: Practicing Surrender to the Divine within dDaily minute by minute.