Warm-upPLEASE LISTEN!

When I ask you to listen to me and you start giving me advice, you have not done what I asked. When I ask you to listen to me and you begin to tell me why I shouldn’t feel that way, you are trampling on my

feelings. When I ask you to listen to me and you feel you have to do something to solve my problem, you

have failed me, strange as that may seem. Listen! All I ask is that you listen. Don’t talk or do—just hear me.

•Have you ever felt like this? Explain how it makes you feel when someone won’t listen.

Table Talk • People don’t care how much you know

until they know how much you care? Think about a situation when someone didn’t take the time to understand or listen to you. Were you open to what they had to say?

Habit 5

Seek First to Understand,

Then to Be Understood

Communication Simulation

• Complete Activity

Five Poor Listening Skills

• Spacing Out

• Pretend Listening

• Selective Listening

• Word Listening

• Self-centered Listening

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Genuine Listening

• Three ways to be a genuine listener

• First, listen with your eyes, heart, and ears

• Second, stand in their shoes

• Third, practice mirroring

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Practice Mirroring

• Mirroring is not

• Judging

• Giving advice

• Mimicking

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Communicating with parents

• Take time to understand your parents- they have pressures and bad days too just like you.

• You can better understand them by asking them questions.• How was your day today?

• What do you like/dislike about your job?

• Is there anything I can do to help around the house?

Then Seek to be Understood

• The number one fear that I read about was a fear of public speaking.

• It takes courage to understand someone, then to speak up and be understood.

• You don’t want to be the doormat, so express your opinion in an appropriate manner.

• Unexpressed feelings get buried and come alive later in ugly ways.

Send “I” Messages

• Say “I’m concerned that you have a temper problem”

• I feel you that you’ve been acting selfishly

• Don’t send “You” messages- they are more threatening

• You are so self-centered

• You have a terrible temper

POST-IT!• “Most people do not listen with the intent

to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”

― Stephen R. Covey

• Think back before this lesson and rate your listening skills. 1 2 3 4 5 (5 being the highest)

• Now that we have discussed habit 5, how will you change your listening skills?