SEPTEMBER 9, 2011

First of all – Hi, my name is Keely and I am the edi-tor-in-chief of this wonderful newspaper you grip tightly in your hands every Friday. I wanted to introduce myself and welcome you to 12 pages of Grand View news, also known as The Grand Views. My staff and I are excited to bring you 24 issues of edge-of-the-seat-got-to-read issues that are sure to pack the latest news, sports updates, trends, reviews and of course, stellar photos.

As you see, we are starting the year off with an amount of news that could fill a book. Unfortunately, not all of it good news. In our first week at school, we had several questions arise in the area of,

• Save $122 and forget about buying that biology book. I’m sure your friend will let you photocopy pages. Chances are, you won’t ever

To the parking police/security: I am really fed up with the love notes I have received from you. It would appear that with the limited parking “bays” available and for newcomers like myself, warning would be given and/or clearly (LARGER) signs that inform the driver of the potential violations that one may be cited. It is truely over-whelming to come to a new school and not be presented with the rules of the land. It is also most frustrating when the only information that the newcomer receives is in the form a citation. -UNHAPPY CAMPER

“why would you cover that?” As a newspaper staff, we were forced to ask ourselves, “Who are we, what do we stand for and what should we cover?”

We came to the conclu-sion that we are here to report news, good or bad, win or lose. Our mission to you as a reader is to provide the very best reporting and coverage of events, all while keeping it easy and entertaining to read. People often misconstrue the purpose of our newspaper, assuming it should highlight Grand View University in the best light possible. I am here to tell you that we are not Grand View’s public relations newsletter.

If there are bedbugs in the apartments, we’ll tell

you about it. If we discov-er faulty maintenance, we’ll tell you about it. Is campus-wide e-mail privilege being abused? We’ll tell you about it. (hint: tune in next week if mass e-mails about lost keys annoy you).

In order to meet our goals, we’ve made a few changes. Our brand new website, the-grandviews.com, is much easier to navigate this year and will feature videos and

content not published in the print addition. We also intend to incorporate easier-to-read stories in print by providing more chunks of information, rather than long stories.

As stated in our tagline, this is a publication “For the students, by the students.” The content is geared toward, you guessed it, students. However, we encourage facul-ty, staff, alumni and parents to indulge in The Grand Views.

OPINION

The Grand View’s Guide to SOCIAL SUICIDE

need it anyway. That’s what Wikipedia is for.

• Start pounding shots of vodka at 11 p.m. the night

before your 8 a.m. Western Civilization class. Then pro-ceed to cruise into class 10 minutes late, only to run to the puker five minutes later.

• Need a job? Get one at the bar. The hours are great and they are very flexible with students’ schedules. It is perfectly acceptable to get off work at 2 a.m. and go to your 8 a.m. Math 112 class unshowered, with left-over makeup on.

• When it comes to that first test you may or may not have studied for, it’s safe to assume the answers are

“True” or “C.” When in doubt, you really can’t go wrong with this method.

• College is your time to have fun. Party hard and don’t look back. Did you have a rough night? Sleep in, your sociology professor won’t miss you. Besides, your parents are paying for it anyway, right?

• Whoever said sleeping in class should end after high school obviously gets a good coffee fix. For the non-caf-feinated class goers, there is absolutely nothing wrong with taking a dose behind that mas-sive chemistry book of yours.

We have news, good or bad, win or lose

I hate how I’m constantly being judged for not drink-ing not smoking and not ‘get-ting with’ guys because I’m a straight edge. I’ve had prob-lems in the past with alcohol, drugs and men. Next time you’re about to judge someone like me just let us be.

-STRAIGHT EDGE

Grand View should open up the parking lot at the Johnson Wellness Center to commuters. I never see that parking lot full and there is no parking on that side of the campus for com-muters. -COMMUTING & CRAMPED

To fellow students....PLEASE BATHE BEFORE ATTENDING CLASS! It is unfair that the rest of us have to spend two-four hours in a classroom smelling your awful body odor. You will not be able to find a good job if you smell bad! That is the goal of going to col-lege so get in the habit now! Cigarette smoke is almost as bad! -SORE NOSE

There’s nowhere to park in the orange lots! If you want students to live on campus, and you guarantee that those with orange stickers will get parking by the building where they live, then make sure we

have enough places to park! -RESIDENT

Student Life obviously doesn’t care about returning students moving in. No park-ing spaces were blocked off, and there’s never any assis-tance carrying things in. I’m paying you, so the least you could do is help me when I move in each year.

-LONELY & MOVED-IN

Just wondering why there is not any designated parking spaces for the people needing to go into the bookstore like there was with the old parking lot? Individuals with green parking stickers do not have a

parking choice for that.-GREEN STICKER

For as much as we pay for this school, they need to stop “looking” to get us in trouble.

- NON TROUBLE TROUBLEMAKER

This is my very first semester at GV! I am a trans-fer student and I love every minute of it! I have not found one bad thing to say about this University! I just want to say thanks to everyone who has already made me feel welcome, but I also hope to meet more friends!

-LOVIN’ LIFE

EDITORSEDITOR-IN-CHIEFKeely ShannonNEWS EDITORMarci ClarkFEATURES EDITORCourtney TownsendSPORTS EDITORJoey AguirrePHOTO EDITORBilly ConnorWEB & PRINT DESIGNEDITORNicole BarrecaCOPY & VIDEO EDITORDevlin HogansBUSINESS EDITORAmanda GabbertSOCIAL MEDIA EDITORStephanie IvankovichADVISORMark Siebert

LETTER POLICYLetters to the editor are wel-come, but must not exceed 300 words. Publication is limited and not guarenteed. We reserve the right to edit or reject any letter. Letters must include name, major and year.

EDITORIAL POLICYThe Grand Views is published every Friday except during holidays and examination periods. The editorials are the opinions of The Grand Views’ editors and should not be taken as the opinion of the student body.

ADVERTISING POLICYall advertising must be recieved by noon Monday preceeding publication. We reserve the right to accept only advertising that com-piles with our policies.

CONTACTgrandviews@grandview.eduThe Grand Views1331 Grandview Ave. Des Moines, IA 50316

How to flunk in under3WEEKS

WARNING: ADHERING TO THE FOLLOWING ADVICE MAY CAUSE A DECREASE IN GPA AND LOSS OF PRIDE. IF SUCCESS IS YOUR GOAL, TRY THE OPPOSITE.

KEELY SHANNONeditor-in-chiefkeely.shannon@grandview.edu

BILLY CONNOR/PHOTO EDITOR/PHOTO ILLUSTRATION