we & thee, fall/winter 2013

Fall/Winter 2013

Carolina Friends School

The MoreThingsChange

They Really Do Change

Sometimes,

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In this issue of We & Thee, I’m feeling espe-

cially appreciative of my experiences of settling in

at school.

When I wrote my first contribution to We &

Thee 11 years ago, I chose to focus on the ways in

which my son Matt’s experiences at Campus

Early School and in Sky Class seemed to be

contributing to his inclinations to be delib-

erate in discernment. Matt is a CFS senior

now (Yikes!), and I still take advantage of

every chance I get to settle in whether at

one of our Early Schools, with the Lower

School community on Monday morn-

ings, and/or with the Middle School at

least once per week. As often as possible,

I also join the Upper School staff and

students as they settle into silence for

their weekly Meeting for Worship on

Wednesday afternoons.

Before my arrival at CFS, I’d never

thought of silence as a source of power.

Truth be told, 14 years into my member-

ship in the CFS community, three as Upper

School Head Teacher and 11 as Principal, I still

struggle to make good use of silence. I rarely

feel “centered,” even when I’ve “settled in.”

But I am convinced now that our efforts to

create conditions wherein students and teachers

make deliberate use of silence can become a

source of profound power, a superpower we

don’t have to merely pretend we have.

The superpower I’m thinking of that our use

of silence contributes to is attention, the ability to

focus our energy on a matter of importance

immediately in front of us. Has it ever been more

difficult to do so?

The alternatives are many in number and form,including our mobile phones and the access theyprovide to our email, our Facebook accounts, ourTwitter feeds, etc. Why wouldn’t we opt for these

“feeds,” especially instead of facing a difficulttask or conversation or source of sadness?

Cal Newport, Georgetown professorand expert on expertise, thinks the abili-ty to stay focused will be the superpow-er of the 21st century.

He argues in favor of employingthe mindset of a craftsman, one whofinds satisfaction in the developmentof a skill, in the habits of deliberatepractice.

Newport suggests that the realcraftsmen out there are not the guys

checking their social media feedsevery five minutes. They’re not looking

for the easy win or the flowstate. They’rethe guys that are out there three hours,pushing the skill.

“This is hard but I’m going to masterthis new piece of software. I’m going tomaster this new mathematical frame-work.”

That’s the mindset, the habit of thecraftsman. I think the deliberate practiceof being quiet, listening for that stillsmall voice within, listening to others inways that engender empathy and under-

standing, and opening our hearts andminds to what matters most will servewell our students and our selves.

So, next chance you get, please joinme. Let’s each take a deep breath and

then exhale.

From The Principal

2

The Transformative Power of SilenceBy Mike Hanas, Principal

We&Thee/Fall/Winter 2013

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Carolina Friends School 3

And, Yes, Virginia, It’s a Good ThingAs is the case with every issue of We & Thee, much of what

you’ll find in the pages that follow is a chronicle of changes

that have been taking place at Carolina Friends School.

Some of the changes are historic and visible—like the new

heads of the Upper School and the Middle School, and the

expansion of the Middle School that is going up right before

our eyes.

Some of the changes are less visible, but still significant—like

the new wastewater treatment facility that is literally going

down, in woods across the creek—and efforts in the Center to

make sure the school has the policies and procedures needed

to thrive as a learning institution going forward.

With so much change going on, some may be led to recall a

quote that has been attributed to Mark Twain: “I’m all in favor

of progress ...it’s change that I don’t like.”

In some ways, CFS has always embodied change. The depar-

ture from the status quo of racially segregated Southern

schools in the early 1960s. The evolution from a single kinder-

garten class at the Durham Friends Meeting to a learning com-

munity of three Early schools all the way through Upper

School on three separate campuses. The addition of an inter-

scholastic athletic program in the 1990s.

Yet, we strive always to build upon the bedrock—the Quaker

values and the expansive vision of our earliest days. A tri-fold

brochure advertising CFS when it went only through the 2nd

grade puts it well:

It is the goal of the school to open children's minds and hearts to the

exciting world of different ideas, beauty, and accomplishment, to prepare

them for a satisfying life in our quickly changing society, to help them

develop their own unique and special abilities and promise for the future,

and to teach them how to see in the differences in nationality, color,

religion, and past experiences that exist among people the discovery of the

value and worth of each human being.

Things Are Changing @

Carolina Friends School

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Hannah Reid Bittle

Halena Jean Searles Bohs

Erin Elizabeth Boyle

Davi Nydick Cheshire

Caleb Maximillian Cole

Isaac Dugan Dalsheimer

Audrey Elizabeth Magnuson Dinyari

Darius Donte Emerson

Esten Lewis Steflik Fabec

Rhiannon Sophia Faith

Rosemary Valentine Gould

Clara Eleanor Hazlett-Norman

MacLean Tobias Holt

Olivia Rinzelani Howes

Emma Lin Hoyle

Coleman Lynn Ikenberry

Tyler Elliot Keel

Milo Kim Mayer

Nicholas Torquil MacLeod

Celeste Li McGilvary

Danilo Joel Meyer-Arrivillaga

Asante Amir Monadjemi

Charles Hancock Moore

Mikaela Kathryn Moracco-Schelp

Emma Rollins Paul

Daniel James Peraza-Rudesill

Adam Jackson Prah

Sydney Grace Ray

James Theodore Richmond

Nicholas Benjamin Shear

Maxton Alexander Sockwell

Hanna Ann Stoner

Calvin Mackenzie Trisolini

Maria-Betania Villalba

Mark Daniel Wasilewski

Jolene Elizabeth Wells

Jenna Renee White

Crispin Cone Whittier

Hannah Michaela Wolf

Lydia Anna Scholl Youngblood

Tongyu Zhang

Congratulations, Class of 2013!

The Members of the CFS Class of 2013

On Sunday, June 10, Carolina Friends

School gathered in the gym for a

Meeting for Worship with Attention to

Graduation, focused on the 41 students

in the Class of 2013. Our grads processed

into the gym through a double line of

applauding staff members from all units

of the School; and sincere thanks were

extended to trustees, staff members, and

parents for all they have done on behalf

of these students and the School. After

the Meeting for Worship, during which

many meaningful messages were shared

with the group, each student received a

diploma and a hug from Principal Mike

Hanas and Upper School Head Teacher

Carrie Huff. Then the graduates received

a standing ovation, and hugs were

exchanged all ‘round.

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Where in the World are Our 2013 Grads Heading?

Carleton College (2)

College of Wooster

Colorado College

Earlham College

Guilford College (4)

Haverford College (2)

Johnson and Wales University

Juniata College

Oberlin College

Occidental College

Savannah College of Art and Design

Southern California Institute of

Architecture

University of Minnesota-Twin Cities

UNC-Asheville (3)

UNC-Chapel Hill (8)

UNC-Charlotte

UNC-Greensboro (4)

Wake Forest University

Warren Wilson College (2)

Other Colleges Offering Admission to Members of the Class of 2013 Allegheny CollegeAppalachian State UniversityBard CollegeBarnard CollegeClemson UniversityCollege of CharlestonConnecticut CollegeDickinson CollegeEckerd CollegeElon UniversityEmory and Henry College

George Washington UniversityGrinnell CollegeHampshire CollegeHendrix CollegeLIM CollegeMacalester CollegeMiddlebury CollegeNorth Carolina State UniversityRhodes CollegeSkidmore CollegeSmith College

Towson UniversityUniversity of CincinnatiUniversity of DenverUniversity of VermontUniversity of VirginiaUniversity of WashingtonVassar CollegeWashington and Lee UniversityWhitman College

2013 graduates have been offered more than $1,780,000 in merit scholarships, in addition

to the Morehead-Cain scholarship at UNC-CH that is valued at $80,000 - $100,000.

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When were you at CFS?

I came to CFS in the fall of 2005, as a first

year in Middle School, and stayed until the

spring of 2013, when I graduated.

Who were your favorite teachers?

Though CFS has no shortage of great

teachers and interesting classes, I found that

my teachers excelled in an environment out-

side the classroom: the advisee groups.

Throughout my eight years at CFS, I had

two advisors (Matthew Ross in Middle School

and Elise London in Upper School), who were

beyond helpful. The Middle and Upper

School years are very formative. Having an

adult other than my parents who was willing

to talk to me and give me advice, but at the

same time hold me to high expectations and

sit me down when I messed up was invaluable.

These relationships helped me learn a lot

about myself, and they also taught me one

other surprising lesson: having friendship with

an adult is not only possible, but it can also-

prove to be very meaningful. Outside of CFS,

I didn’t encounter many opportunities to

befriend adults, and knowing that I’m able to

talk to and get to know someone much older

than me is a lesson that I’m sure will only

prove more and more useful.

What CFS experiences stand out?

I think that the End-of-Year Program is oneof the best things we do, and some of my bestCFS experiences come directly from thosetrips. I had the opportunity to travel toNewton Grove, Trinidad, and the Galapagos.

Each trip was powerful in its own way, butthere are lessons that extend across all three.

To name a few: I’ve learned that a pick-upsoccer game is unrivaled when it comes toforming bonds with strangers, even when youcannot understand each other; every otherculture has better food than ours; no gift isbetter than receiving a heartfelt thank you;and, the only surefire recipe for a good night’ssleep is a hard day of service.

What’s your favorite spot on campus?

Two spots will always be special for me. The

first is the soccer field. I think our field, with

the trees that surround it, is one of the most

picturesque around. My CFS soccer teams

were by far the closest teams I have ever

played on, and getting to play great soccer

alongside my close friends and my brother is

something I will never be able to replicate.

The second location is Elise’s office.

Besides its being home to my advisee group

for four years, it was where I spent almost

every single lunch over those four years. I

could never explain why my friends and I

chose that room; it’s not meant to fit more

than 10 people, but we consistently crammed

more inside it. That office has some intangible

quality that makes it great for conversation.

Can you describe CFS in 30 seconds?

I would describe it in three words: individu-ality, reflection, and community.

From bare feet to the first-name basis andthe elimination of grades and class ranking,CFS isn’t about doing what is traditional, it’sabout doing what feels right for you.

With settling in and meeting for worship, it’sclear that students are given time to reflectupon themselves, but reflection doesn’t stopthere. The staff are always open to hearingfeedback to see if what we do still aligns withthe School’s mission, leading to a learningenvironment that is dynamic and progressive.

At CFS everyone is considered an equalmember of the community. Whether decidingwho to hire as a new teacher, what is anappropriate consequence for a student whohas broken the School’s trust, or developing along-term plan, students sit alongside staffand board members and play an importantrole in making decisions, which serves tostrengthen the community as a whole.

Tell us about moving through theMorehead-Cain selection process.

When I began my senior year, I had no ideathat the Morehead-Cain Scholarship existed.My college counselor, Elise London, told methat CFS wanted to nominate me, so I got towork on the application in order to have it inby the early October deadline. This all hap-pened quickly, and even by the time of mysubmission, I didn’t fully understand what thescholarship entailed. The one thing I did know

An Interview with Morehead-Cain Scholar Nick MacLeod ’13

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was that it was very competitive, so I tried tokeep myself from getting my hopes up. Butwhen I learned that I had made it to the semi-finals, I realized that the scholarship was nolonger a pipe-dream; I had a real shot at it.

From the semi-finals on, the applicationprocess becomes centered around interviews,something I didn’t have much experiencewith. To help me prepare, Elise set up practiceinterviews with a wide range of people fromthe CFS community, including Mike Hanas,Anthony L. Clay, UNC professors, and par-ents of students and alums. Getting thechance to practice a few interviews wasimmensely helpful; each group I met with wasunique, and had its own interview style andtypes of questions. At the end of a practiceinterview, each group would walk me throughour conversation and highlight what I had-done well and what I should work to improve.

When I walked through the doors of theMorehead-Cain Foundation on the day of mysemi-final interviews, I was one of the mostprepared applicants in the room. I talked toother of the semi-finalists, and many told methat they hadn’t gotten the opportunity toconduct any practice interviews; instead theyhad been left on their own. It was humbling toknow that the entire CFS community wasbehind me, with people I had never met will-ing to sacrifice their time to help me prepare.

After making it to the final round, I wasinvited to UNC’s campus for Finals Weekend,which consists of staying in a hotel with theother finalists, attending events, learning moreabout the scholarship, exploring UNC’s cam-pus, and moving through another set of inter-views. The weekend turned out to be a strangemix of nerves and fun. The events were inter-esting and exciting, we ate well, and we got tohear some great stories from current scholars;but the entire time I was thinking about myinterviews. Hearing how great the scholarshipis all weekend led me to want it even more,and knowing that receiving the scholarshipdepended on the interviews coming up leftme feeling increasingly nervous. Though I hadbutterflies in my stomach when I first walkedin, as I began talking I settled into my rhythmand ended up having a great conversation withmy interviewers, and when I left I felt that Ihad done as well as I could have hoped.

Tell us about your Morehead-Cain

summer experience.

This summer I went on a NOLS SeaKayaking course in Southeast Alaska. Whenchoosing a course, I tried to pick something asfar outside my comfort zone as possible, andsince I had never visited Alaska nor spent anextended amount of time on the ocean, letalone sea kayak for a month, it seemed like thebest choice. Southeast Alaska is beautiful. Inancient times, the area used to be a mountainrange, but since then has slowly shifted lower,leaving tree-covered mountains that emergedirectly from the ocean and end in snow-capped peaks. Though the landscape wasincredible, it paled in comparison with thewildlife.

As we paddled further and further from civ-ilization, we began to see more and more ani-mals, including sea otters, river otters, baldeagles, golden eagles, porpoises, puffins, jelly-fish, minks, sea lions, seals, killer whales,humpback whales, and on one occasion ablack bear. Sea kayaking is by no means a fastway of traveling, but it more than makes upfor its slow speed with its nonthreateningappearance to animals. On more than oneoccasion we had animals swim within a fewfeet of us to check us out, and my personalfavorite was having massive humpback whalesbreach right beside us. Even though they hadno interest in harming us, nothing can helpyou realize just how small and vulnerablehumans are than sitting in a kayak right besidea whale or a few sea lions. Along the way, wecooked for ourselves, using simple ingredientslike flour, sugar, spices, pasta, and cheese tomake everything from mac and cheese topizza or cinnamon rolls. At one point, we setup a fishing rod in the cove where we weresleeping, and, in the morning, we woke up toa 100-pound halibut on the line. When wewere done fileting the fish, there were over 80pounds to eat. Over the next few days, every-one consumed a large portion of fish withevery meal, and though some people grew alittle tired of halibut, we managed to finishevery bite.

Until that trip, if you had asked me if I wasa mountains person or a beach person I wouldhave told you mountains without hesitation,but now it would be a toss-up. Though I’m

still not a fan of the beach, especially the sand,Alaska opened my eyes to the world justbeyond the shore, and I’m now intrigued bythe ocean and everything that resides within it.

How did the Morehead-Cain shape your first semester?

One of my favorite parts about the

Morehead is how separate it is from my life at

Carolina. I am expected to keep a certain

G.P.A, but beyond that I’m just like every

other student at UNC. The Foundation does

bring alumni from various fields back to cam-

pus to host certain events and conduct

speeches, but none of it is mandatory. The

biggest advantage the scholarship offers me

while at school doesn’t come from the

Foundation, but rather from the other schol-

ars. There are Moreheads involved in all sorts

of organizations across campus, and all of

them are willing to talk to or help out any

other scholar who wishes to join. Though

right now I’m still trying to adjust to life at

Carolina and trying to figure out what inter-

ests me, I know that should I want to learn

more about a certain topic or cause there is

someone who will answer all my questions.

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Ten CFS staff members. Nineteen members of the Chapel Hill

Friends Meeting (CHFM) and the Durham Friends Meeting

(DFM)—many of whom are CFS alumni parents, current or former

trustees, or otherwise connected to the School. Together, they spent

a week last August retracing the 1652 travels of George Fox, founder

of Quakerism, in the Lake District of northern England.

The trip organizers and leaders—staff members Cesanne Berry

(DES), Charlie Layman (LS), and Natasha Shannon (LS)—were vet-

erans of similar pilgrimages facilitated by the Friends Council on

Education (FCE) and the Philadelphia Yearly Meeting (PYM). They

had the help of two alumni parents, former CFS Board clerk Lynn

Drake (CHFM) and current CFS trustee Nikki Vangsnes (DFM).

The Planning Committee envisioned this journey to historical

Quaker sites and meeting houses in England as a spiritually nurtur-

ing experience for each person and an opportunity to deepen the

relationships among the School and our local Meetings (members of

whom helped found CFS some 50 years ago).

Deborra Sines Pancoe, FCE staff member and co-leader of the

PYM pilgrimage, highlighted for us some of the reasons for such a

pilgrimage, including: the renewal and energy that comes from seek-

ing a deeper understanding of 17th century Friends and the experi-

ence of following in the footsteps of George Fox. Also, connecting,

in person, with British Quakers provides a sense of the wider world

of the Society of Friends. Visiting historic meetinghouses,

Swarthmoor Hall (the home of Margaret Fell), and Lancaster

Castle/Prison as well as climbing Pendle Hill provides a tangible

sense of the commitment and perseverance of the “harmless and

innocent people of God - called Quakers.”

The itinerary included stops at sites well-known in Friends histo-

ry, including the Sawley, Brigflatts, Kendal, Lancaster, and Colthouse

Meetinghouses; Pendle Hill; Firbank Fell and Fox’s Pulpit; Lancaster

Castle/Prison; Swarthmoor Hall; and the Kendal Quaker tapestry.

…many teas and biscuits (were) offered to each pilgrimage participant. … to be servedand take delight in the receiving was a con-stant experience throughout the pilgrimage.To help these volunteers distribute the teaand sweet treats, a few pilgrims found this aprivilege as well. In their daily lives the peo-ple on this pilgrimage give so much of them-selves through service to the world. It is alsoa special opportunity to let others give toyou… knowing the pleasantness of bothkinds of tender exchanges.

-from a pilgrim’s journal

In the Footsteps of

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In addition to the three trip leaders, these

staff members made the journey:

Anthony L. Clay

Barbara Conger (also CHFM)

Matt Drake (retired; also CHFM)

Jamie Hysjulien (also DFM)

Lisa Joyner

Kathy Krahenbuhl

Connie Toverud (retired)

Randall Williams

From the Chapel Hill Friends Meeting:

Catherine Alguire

Emile Condon

Jimmy Condon

Peter Condon

Lynn Drake

Jennifer Leeman

Pat Mann

Tom Munk

Wendy Richesin

Pam Schwingl

From the Durham Friends Meeting:

Ann Allen

Timothy Allen

Mary Cleary

John March

Margaret March

Bob Passmore

Carol Passmore

Nikki Vangsnes

When our lives become full of busy-ness, even of the Quakerkind, it can be hard to remember we have the capability to beopen, vulnerable and centered on the Divine, as you all were lastweek. But it's important to retain the memory that we have beenthus, and therefore know that we can be again—and then bringthat into every situation we can turn into one of worship. Whenwe do that, we turn the world upside down every bit as much asearly Friends did. Thank you for giving me the depth of your wor-ship and care, and your tenderness with me. William Penn wrotethat Friends who cross the sea ‘live in one another still’—and so itis, and will be, of you all, with me.

In loving friendship,Roy

(Roy Stephenson is the British Quaker who served as the pilgrimage tour guide)

George Fox

Planning is underway for another

Quaker pilgrimage to England, July

19-26, 2015, with registration

beginning in a few months.

If you'd like information as it

becomes available, please email

[email protected].


I have always been fascinated by theMediterranean World and the civilizationsthat grew up around its edges. As a child, Iwould turn the pages of my family’s encyclo-pedia until they were worn, looking at draw-ings that re-imagined and recreated this past.In college, I studied Classical Greek, believ-ing that dead languages and past cultureswere still an essential part of who we aretoday.

The world I explored last summer as Itraveled on a PACE Grant across NorthAfrica into Jerusalem and from Turkey toGreece was not the dusty and innocent landof my imagination. It was living, vital, anddiverse. The diversity was not just from oneplace to the next, but I found that each cityoffered various windows into our moment inhistory. Certainly it offered windows into my

own self and my travels. As a Quaker, I havea profound belief that every person, everyplace, and every time is equally sacred. Still Isaw tourists, like myself, laying claim tosocial, historical, and natural beauties whileabandoning whatever did not interest them.I was suspicious of my own intentions.Walking through the narrow, medievalstreets of Fez, for example, I wondered whyI was taking certain pictures—what was Ilooking for or hoping to see? What did Ihave to give anyone in return for what I wastrying to take? The unstated question in theeyes of those whom I encountered was: Weare showing you our lives, but what do youhave to show us? In the midst of this com-plexity, even an act as simple as buying a beltin the artisan market turned into a couplehours of conversation and tea, which ended

in being led to the shop of a friend. Thoseplaces I traveled were overcrowded, drivenby the good and bad aspects of globaliza-tion, and eaten away, at every level, by anuncontrolled consumerism. People wantedmore, but were fearful about losing what wasmost meaningful. They are caught between apast that is disappearing and a future thatseems empty and unsustainable. Not surpris-ingly, this confluence of forces is often vio-lent. As I sat in a tea house in Marrakeshwatching bodies in blood-soaked sheetsbeing laid out on to the street, I realized Iwould not be going to Cairo. Despite theviolence, I found everywhere people have anunshakable desire, both personally and col-lectively, to touch some common humanity

While I was staying in Jerusalem, I tookthe local bus one Sunday up to Ramallah to

Jamie received one of the School’s two 2013 PACE [Professional And Community Enrichment] grants to travelon a journey of “intellectual and spiritual renewal” to animate his work in Humanities curriculum developmentand End-of-Year Service Learning on a global scale. In the next issue of We& Thee, please look for a dispatch

from Director of Summer Programs Chris Firpo, who’s traveling to Costa Rica on her PACE Grant.

For Every Thing That By Jamie Hysjulien, Upper School Humanities Teacher

Reflection on my CFS PACE Grant Travel

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F Lives is Holy

attend the small Quaker Meeting there.After meeting for worship, I went with JeanZaru, the clerk of Ramallah Friends Meeting,back to her house for lunch. We spent theafternoon in the courtyard of her simple,Scandinavian-style house, in a middle-classneighborhood not far from downtown. Weate falafels from her favorite shop and olivesfrom her tree. She had met my wife Nikki,and was a friend of my wife’s aunt, so wetalked about family, about children andgrandchildren. We shared our skepticismabout the peace talks that were in the workssince I arrived. She told me about the Israelioccupation, especially its effect on her dailylife—her ability to travel and the regularinterruptions to the supply of water.Throughout the conversation she held out aradiant, but weathered, acceptance of the

power of peace to transform the world. As alife-long resident of Palestine, now in herseventies, she is not naïve. She is a clear-eyedwitness to the potential of love to untie eventhe most intractable knot.

As a teacher, I try to live out in my dailywork the mission of the School. I especiallybelieve in the part of the mission that asks usto “to teach our children it is possible tochange the world.” In my mind, this is not agrandiose expectation that asks every studentto “save the world.” It invites them to sharetheir gifts with positivity and optimism. Itcalls them to accept not only the worldbefore them—a world of holiness, urgency,and wonder—but also the world beneath thevisible world that is ready to emerge.

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Tom Anderson, their new Head Teacher,

felt a quiver of nervousness as he stood in

front of the CFS Upper School students the

first day of school. He knew that the impres-

sion he gave in the first 15 seconds could

define him in the minds of the 120 or so stu-

dents squeezed into the Upper School

Meeting Hall.

So he named his nervousness.

“Do me a favor and cut me some slack,”

he asked the class. “This is my first time in

front of you.”

From that moment on, Tom says, he felt

that the students were hearing him as he

intended to be heard—as someone willing to

accompany them on the roller coaster journey

of high school.

“I invited them into a conversation about

what it means to grow up, and a lot of them

responded, then and later,” Tom says. “It has

been a wonderful conversation to build on.”

This is Tom’s first position in a Quaker

school, but his connection to Quakers and

Quaker educational philosophy has been

growing for many years.

“My college professor once told me I

sounded like a Quaker when I talked about

religion,” he says. Tom has a B.A. in History

and Political Science from Butler University

and an M.A. in History from The College of

William and Mary.

Shortly after moving to Charlotte in 2002

to teach history at Charlotte Country Day

School, he began attending the Charlotte

Friends Meeting with his soon-to-be wife,

Michelle, a life-long Quaker and alumna of

Wilmington Friends School. In 2007,

Michelle became the founding teacher at

Charlotte Friends School, remaining on staff

until 2010.

“We both recognized that education is an

intellectual process that has a spiritual ele-

ment that is hard to engage in if a school

doesn’t have the language or culture to sup-

port it,” Tom said. “We dreamed of teaching

together in a Quaker school where there is a

real reverence for learning.”

When the Upper School head position at

CFS opened up, it looked perfect, Tom said.

“I've never wanted to give up teaching, but

after nine years as chair of the Department of

History I was finding myself drawn to school

leadership opportunities, and the attraction of

Friends education was only getting stronger

for me.”

The icing on the cake came when Michelle

was selected as an extended-hours teacher at

the Durham Early School, allowing her to

spend portions of the day with their two-

year-old son Sammy while staying involved in

Quaker education.

Principal Mike Hanas says Tom has quick-

ly shown his mettle as both a learner and a

leader. “He listens very closely, seeks out and

considers a wide range of views, and then

does his homework in formulating an action

to advance the mission of CFS in the Upper

School,” Mike says. “He has a wonderful way

of asking more of people in a way that makes

them want to respond.”

When not at school, Tom spends time with

his family exploring their new home town of

Hillsborough, which Tom says has the small-

town feel of Libertyville, Illinois, where he

grew up. He’s also an avid runner, cooks up a

mean pizza from scratch, and likes to dabble

in home repair.

“Because the work of an educator is so

gradual and the payoff is often not immedi-

ately visible, it is nice to come home and make

a nice meal or work on the house and see that

something looks better immediately,” he said.

“It gives my life a nice balance.”

A Reverence for Learningand Profile of Tom Anderson, new head of the Upper School

Stay updated on Twitter at CarolinaFriends and on Facebook at Quaker Dome.

A Welcome to

By Marsha Green, CFS Board of Trustees Clerk

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and Profile of Kip Kuhn, new head of the Middle School

Magical Middle School Head

At a recent Middle School gathering, Kip

Kuhn, the new Head Teacher, held up three

uneven lengths of rope. Tucking the ropes

into his left hand, he began to manipulate

them as he talked about the relative size of

different groups at CFS and how they all

work together. Finishing his brief message,

he casually showed off the ropes again, let-

ting the students see that they had been

transformed into equal lengths.

He hadn’t performed the trick in 35 years.

He learned magic from his father, a pub-

lic school teacher who often used sleight of

hand to illustrate moral points at church or

school gatherings, with Kip serving as his

assistant. But as Kip entered high school, he

veered toward science and his interest in

magic waned.

Until this summer.

While moving from Utah to North

Carolina, Kip and his wife, Kari, and seven-

year-old daughter, Mikayla, visited his home

town of Fort Wayne, Indiana.

“My dad passed away four years ago and

I discovered on this trip that my mother had

boxed up all his magic stuff, from bags that

make things disappear to floating balls and

card tricks,” Kip said. “I hadn’t touched

those things since middle school, and I

decided taking the boxes and rediscovering

magic was a way to remember my dad.”

Kip’s re-discovery of magic illustrates

what may be his most obvious talent–to

approach everything with the wide-eyed

curiosity of a true student.

“Kip’s curiosity is contagious,” says

Principal Mike Hanas. “It’s there whether

he’s sharing a magic trick he’s learned or

wondering with wide eyes what a student or

staff member is about to uncover.”

His curiosity and sense of adventure have

taken Kip far from his roots. After graduat-

ing from Indiana University with a Bachelor

of Science in Education and obtaining a

Masters in Educational Administration and

Supervision from Ball State University, his

teaching career has taken him to Fairplay,

Colorado and to Amman, Jordan (where his

daughter Mikayla was born). For six years

before coming to CFS, Kip taught high

school science and served as co-director of

academics, assistant head of school, and

founding director of the new middle school

at Wasatch Academy, an international board-

ing school in Mt. Pleasant, Utah.

But, he says, coming to CFS feels like

coming home.

He was raised a Quaker (his parents

helped found the Fort Wayne Friends

Meeting in the 1960s) and he and Kari have

long wanted to settle in North Carolina.

More importantly, Kip senses that he has

been given a precious opportunity to partic-

ipate in a school whose values, mission, and

educational philosophy resonate with him

personally as well as professionally.

“I have been delighted to discover just

how deep CFS’ commitment is to living out

its values,” he said.

He has been particularly struck by the

thoughtful way decision-making at the

School includes a variety of people and voic-

es, including students. “We don’t ask stu-

dents rhetorical questions: we ask students

questions because we value their voices,” he

said.

Kip and his family are currently renting a

home while they explore their new environs.

Weekends are dedicated to visiting museums,

traveling to the North Carolina mountains,

or exploring family-friendly locales such as

the Haw River Ballroom at Saxapahaw.

“I’ve already been told that I’ve seen

more of this area than many of my stu-

dents,” he says. “But we want to get to know

it, because we feel strongly that this is the

place we are supposed to be.”

A Welcome to

By Marsha Green, CFS Board of Trustees Clerk

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Extended Day teacher MichelleAnderson (DES) attendedWilmington Friends Meeting andstudied at Wilmington FriendsSchool as a child. In 2000, shereceived a Bachelor of Arts inDance Pedagogy from ButlerUniversity in Indianapolis.

During her junior year she studied at the LabanCentre in London where she earned a ProfessionalDiploma in Dance Studies. Two years of teachingconflict resolution in the Indianapolis PublicSchools as an Americorps member, followed bystudies at Lesley University in the PeaceableSchools Program, helped her to clarify her purposeas an educator. Michelle completed her Master ofArts in Teaching (Elementary, K-5) from QueensUniversity (Charlotte) in 2013. She first visited CFSin 2007 to learn from the faculty in preparation forthe founding of the Friends School of Charlotte.Michelle was touched by the sense of communityshe witnessed among the students here. Her pas-sions include dance, yoga, gardening, and teachingchildren's yoga.

Kai-Lukas Barlow (“Kai”)(Center) joins CFS as HumanResources Generalist. ACalifornia native who recentlylearned he has ancestral roots inNorth Carolina, he earned aBachelor of Science in SpeechCommunications and Social

Science (Psychology/Sociology) from PortlandState University (Oregon) and an M.A. in Culturaland Applied Anthropology from the CaliforniaState University. Kai has worked for the East BayRegional Park District, the Natural ResourcesDefense Council, and Viz Media, LLC. Kai relocat-ed to the Triangle in spring of 2013 due to his hus-band Michael’s job transfer and to be closer to fam-ily in Durham and on the East Coast. He enjoysopera, movies, spending time with friends and fam-ily, walking and playing with his enormous 160 lb.dog Rufus, volunteering for numerous social justicecauses, and exploring the beauty and hidden treas-ures of the Piedmont and the Carolinas.

Stephanie Bradley (DES) grewup outside of Boston, in the townof Weston. She attended KimballUnion Academy, in Meriden,New Hampshire, and went on toreceive her B.A. from WashingtonCollege. After teaching inConnecticut for two years, she

decided to further her career in education andattended Bank Street School of Education in NewYork City where she received her Masters ofScience in Early Childhood Education. At BankStreet, Stephanie compiled a portfolio of her teach-ing experiences on the importance of creating acommunity of connected learners. She is passion-ately committed to continuously making children’seducational experiences meaningful each day. Sherecently relocated to the area from New York City.

Stephanie has six years of experience teaching atthe elementary school level in both public and pri-vate schools. She is excited to be applying theseexperiences to her teaching at DES!

Cyrise Davis (AfterHours) holdsa B.A. in Art Education fromNorth Carolina CentralUniversity and a B.S. inCommercial Art andPhotography from AlamanceCommunity College. In additionto her freelance photography,

she’s worked as an art and photography teacher atThe Hawbridge School in Saxapahaw, a site coordi-nator and lead teacher for a middle school after-hours program, a YMCA summer camp counselor,and a display ad designer for the News andObserver. Cyrise is excited to employ her child-cen-tered style of teaching (and passion for art) to helpCFS Lower and Middle Schoolers learn, explore,and create in our AfterHours program.

Spanish teacher Erica Davis

(MS) is tremendously excited to

join the faculty at CFS and comes

to us with nine years of teaching

experience. After teaching ESL in

Japan and South Korea for three

years, she moved to

Carrboro/Chapel Hill, where she

has been teaching elementary and middle school

Spanish for the last six years. Originally from

Seattle, she completed her B.A. in Comparative

Religion at the University of Puget Sound in

Tacoma, WA in 2003 and her M.A. in Teaching

Spanish (K-12) at UNC-Chapel Hill in 2010. Erica

also teaches Nonviolent and Compassionate

Communication, is a certified yoga teacher, and

loves and has taught dance. She also enjoys travel-

ing and playing soccer whenever possible.

Asiya Gusa, Ph.D. (US), is teach-

ing Advanced Biology, Chemistry

and Introduction to Physical

Science. She is a microbiologist by

training, having majored in

Microbiology as an undergraduate

at Miami University in Oxford,

Ohio before obtaining a doctorate

degree in Microbiology and Molecular Genetics

from Emory University (Atlanta, Georgia) in 2006.

With research training at the Centers for Disease

Control and Prevention as well as Merck

Pharmaceuticals, Asiya’s research interests include

bacterial gene regulation, antibiotic resistance, and

public health issues. She is a published author in

several scientific journals and brings her passion for

science research and mentoring to the classroom

and the laboratory. She has previously taught chem-

istry and biology classes at Emory University and

Spelman College in Georgia and, most recently,

Durham Academy in North Carolina.

Language arts teacher KathyLucente (MS) grew up in theWashington D.C. area. Sheearned her B.S. in ElementaryEducation at Lesley Universityand did graduate work in liberalarts and counseling. Kathy is cer-tified in Elementary Education

and Middle School Social Studies. She has taughtfor 21 years in public and private schools in NewYork City, San Diego, Annapolis, and Chapel Hill.She loves to read, hike, kayak, and explore the arts.She has two daughters, both college studentsmajoring in music.

Bradley McDevitt (US) is theguest teacher of Drama andTheater. After graduating with aBachelor of Arts degree inPerformance and Cultural Studiesfrom The Evergreen StateCollege in 1996, he was immedi-ately offered a position with the

award-winning UMO Ensemble, spending the next10 years traveling, performing, and teaching theirunique physical theater style to young people, colle-giate residencies, and professional workshopsaround the world. He also served as UMO'sEducational Director, guiding the company tobecome the most requested in-school arts residen-cy in Washington state. Bradley has provided pro-duction management for Seattle's groundbreakingINTIMAN Theater, and has worked with suchluminous performers as John Michael-Higgins,Simone Forti, Blue Man Group, Donald Byrd, &Pickle Family Circus founder and personal mentor,Larry Pisoni. A CFS alum ('89), Bradley is theproud father of two young ladies, Tallulah Cadenceand Harper Evangeline. He is a working artist andcontinues teaching adult and professional classes.

Gayle Rush (CES) holds adegree in Child Developmentfrom the University of Illinois.Most recently, she served as theLower School Learning Specialistand Coordinator for the juniorkindergarten through secondgrade classes at The Jefferson

School in Georgetown, Delaware. Gayle has taughtfor over 30 years in a variety of early childhood set-tings, including High Scope programs in theNorthern Virginia and Maryland area. She taughtkindergarten at Sandy Spring Friends School andalso served as the Head of the Early Childhoodprogram at Northern Virginia Friends School.Gayle has served as a Child DevelopmentSpecialist-Consultant for Early ChildhoodCurriculum and was an instructor for EarlyChildhood and Developmentally AppropriatePrograms, Family and Workplace Connection forthe State of Delaware. Gayle also served as a ChildDevelopment Specialist at Mother Teresa'sOrphanage in Calcutta, India. She is a Quaker anda member of Langley Hill Friends Meeting.

Welcome to Our New Staff...

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Administrative assistant AmySmoker (MS) graduated fromNew College in Sarasota,Florida, with a B.A. in social sci-ences, and later received anM.S.W. from UNC-CH. Afterhaving lived up and down theEast Coast, she and her husband

Randall settled in North Carolina in 1991. She hasworked as a bookstore manager, sold plants in anursery, and facilitated family groups throughcounty social service agencies. Amy's two childrenattend CFS and she is an active volunteer with theAfghan Sister Schools Partnership at CFS. Sheenjoys making wheel-thrown pottery, UltimateFrisbee, backpacking and hanging out with herfamily playing games.

Spanish teacher Caitlin Wells(MS) holds a B.A. in LatinAmerican Studies fromMacalester College and has beenteaching for 10 years–theater,ESL, Portuguese, and Spanishfrom Maine to Minnesota, andmost recently at CHICLE

Language Institute in Carrboro. After living inBrazil and Spain, she speaks Portuguese andSpanish fluently. Caitlin is also an actor anddesigner with Little Green Pig Theatrical Concernin Durham.

Bill Jenkins, 2016, is CEO ofCommunity Health Analytics.Previously, he worked at theUNC Institute of African-American Research and taughtat Morehouse College and theMorehouse School of Medicine.He’d served for two decades as

Supervisory Epidemiologist in the NationalCenter for HIV, STD, and TB Prevention (NCH-STP) at the Centers for Disease Control andPrevention (CDC) and managed its MinorityHealth Activities Program. Bill also managed theParticipant Health Benefits Program, whichassures medical services to the survivors of theTuskegee Study of Untreated Syphilis in theNegro Male. He has been instrumental in found-ing the Institute for African American Health, thePublic Health Sciences Institute at MorehouseCollege, the Master of Public Health program atMorehouse College (the first such program at ahistorically black institution), and the Society forAnalysis of African American Public HealthIssues.

Bill obtained his B.A. in Mathematics fromMorehouse College. He holds a Master's degree inBiostatistics from Georgetown University andboth a Master in Public Health degree and a Ph.D.in Epidemiology from UNC-Chapel Hill (whichhonored him with a 2004 Distinguished AlumniAward). He has also completed Biostatistics post-doctoral work at Harvard University’s School ofPublic Health. Bill was an active member of theFriends Meeting of Atlanta and a Board chair forthe Friends School of Atlanta.

Mark Kuhn, 2016, is a parent oftwo CFS alums, Elena ’99 andEric ’01, as well as grandparentof Alula (DES). He is an invest-ment advisor and serves on theCFS Business Committee,Investment Committee, andCampaign Steering Committee,

as well as the Head Review Committee. Mark alsoserves on the boards of the Friends Council onEducation, the Brady Education Foundation,Student U, and the Triangle CommunityFoundation.

Chris Ringwalt, 2016, has long-standing ties with CarolinaFriends School. His mother,Mildred Ringwalt, was one ofthe School's co-founders; his sonStuart attended CFS Early,Middle, and Upper School; andhe has served previously on the

CFS Board. Chris currently works as an injury pre-vention researcher both at UNC and the PacificInstitute for Research and Evaluation.

Eric Stein, 2016, started servingon the CFS Business Committeein 2012. He is the father of Abe(senior), Eli (second year ofMiddle School), and HannahEichner’12 (a UNC sophomore)and is married to MaxineEichner. He works at Self-Help

and its affiliate Center for Responsible Lending,nonprofits dedicated to creating and protectingownership through providing financial servicesand engaging in public policy advocacy. He previ-ously worked for the Obama TreasuryDepartment on financial reform legislation. Hegrew up in Chapel Hill and enjoys biking, soccer,and mysteries.(Eric has recently had to conclude his CFS Board servicebecause he’s accepted a position working with former NorthCarolina Congressman Mel Watt at the Federal HousingFinance Agency, the regulator of Fannie Mae and FreddieMac. Thanks to Eric for his service and good luck to himin Washington!)

Bill Velto, 2016, is a newcomerto Durham Friends Meeting,though his affiliation as aQuaker dates back to his highschool days. He is a SocialScience teacher and has taughthigh school in New York, Texas,and North Carolina. Bill likes

cooking and reading impossibly dense historytomes. He is also interested in helping teachersleverage new technology to create a more dynam-ic classroom experience. Bill and his wife Lindahave two children, Alex and Margaret.

And New Trustees

Where in the world is Jim Henderson?Jim, who retired this past

June after three decades at

CFS, and wife Jan are travel-

ing the globe this year.

They’ve already made stops

in Hawaii, Japan, Korea,

Australia, and Bali. She’s

taking HUG Your Baby (her

expectant and new parent support program)

to nursing schools; parenting institutes;

international conferences; lactation, child-

birth, and doula organizations; and hospi-

tals. Jim is meeting with international

schools and producers about Ariel’s Way, his

adaptation of Shakespeare's The Tempest

(which premiered as a student production at

CFS in 2005 and was performed again as an

alumni theatre project in 2010) and support-

ing Jan’s work, especially with fathers. In

each country, they’re writing a lullaby using

indigenous musical motifs and inspiration

from their own experiences.

You can follow all of their adventures at

http://tedderhenderson.blogspot.com.

What’s up with Carrie Huff?After 10 years as Upper School Head Teacher, Carrie Huff retiredfrom the position last June. But she’s not done working at CFS.While she and husband Greg are spending a year in San Franciscoin order to be closer to her son Dave, his wife Jeanine, and theirfour children (a former CFS family) and enjoying time with otherfamily members across the country, she is continuing to co-leadthe Planning Committee for CFS’ 50th Anniversary. She supportedBuilding Friends Campaign outreach efforts by being part ofNovember community gatherings in Los Angeles and SanFrancisco! And this coming fall, she’ll be returning to work at CFS,in a still to be determined role.

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As I write this on a Sunday afternoonfrom a small cottage on the outskirts ofEldoret, Kenya, I am certain that I wouldnot be here were it not for the encourage-ment I derive from watching how theAfghan Sister Schools Partnership works.With gratitude, I want to share with you heremy sense of why this good idea took wingand how it maintains flight through all theturbulence and complexity that fill the skiesabout it.

In the wake of September 11th, 2001, atthe outset of the war in Afghanistan, a groupof CFS parents were led to show our chil-dren and the children in Afghanistan thatAmericans had more to offer than militarystrength alone. What sprang from this needwas the desire to link our school communitydirectly with a school in Afghanistan. Upondiscovering that the American FriendsService Committee had a program to partnerAmerican and Afghan schools, CFS firstbegan fundraising to improve facilities at avillage school near Kabul. We soon began aletter exchange between students at our twoschools, believing that developing long dis-tance friendships could break down stereo-types and lead to deeper understanding.

A perusal of its web page(www.cfsnc.org/Afghan Sister SchoolsPartnership) shows how successful this part-nership has been. The Afghan communitywith which we eventually came to build along-term partnership is Topchi in theprovince of Bamiyan. When our friendship

began, Topchi Village School was situated inan old wastewater facility and stopped at theeighth grade. Funds raised from the CFScommunity, primarily through weekly pizzalunches organized by the Partnership, havehelped furnish classrooms and refurbish san-itary and classroom facilities.

We have supported teacher training broad-ly and specifically in science, along with theprovision of lab equipment. We have provid-ed health and safety education. We haveestablished a library at the school that servesthe entire village and whose offerings weaugment each year. We have begun providingcomputer equipment along with the neces-sary training of teachers and students to helpTopchi make the best use of that technolo-gy. Our support, moreover, has helpedTopchi garner large-scale support frominternational organizations, including Savethe Children Japan, such that it now has 16classrooms serving over 800 students in twoshifts. Three classes comprised of both boysand girls have now graduated from the 12thgrade. In honor of their tremendousachievement, we have provided graduateswith certificates and gifts of cooking oil,gloves, and winter scarves.

By any set of metrics, the Partnership is asuccess. It can be seen to have achieved thatever-elusive goal of sustainability, with pizzalunch the central funding mechanism thatprovides a consistent income stream. Butwhat truly sustains the Partnership is some-thing that runs much deeper than metrics

can capture; something that its foundersinstinctively understood and everyone whochooses to lend a hand cannot help but feel.There is an openness to the Partnership thatis instantly apparent at its monthly meetings,and at all the sporadic meetings that necessi-ty creates. There is a willingness to listen anda desire to come to an agreement on the bestapproach. There is deference to the fact thateveryone is volunteering their time, coupledwith–and this always encourages me themost–an abundance of offers to take up allparts of an agreed-upon action.

I think the reason this openness prevails isthat the Partnership remains steadfast inkeeping its original intent of fostering therelationships between the students ofTopchi Village School and CFS its primaryfocus. While it is no small feat to gather andmatch the letters from each student withtheir pen pal, let alone orchestrating thetranslations that our current partner organi-zation in Kabul, AFCO (Afghan Friendshipand Cooperation Organization) undertakestwice a year, the joy in seeing these relation-ships grow drives every other aspect andventure of the Partnership. Reading whattheir children and our children have to sharewith one another across all that divides themnever ceases to amaze and to inspire. I thinkit is precisely because of the amount of caregiven by its volunteers to the process of penpal letter writing that there exists a warmthto the Partnership that is self-sustaining.

This openness allows remarkable things to

Afghan Sister Schools By David Swanson, CFS Alum Parent

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happen. It has allowed me, whose childrenhave long since moved on from CFS, theopportunity to play an active role in themonthly committee meetings where I occa-sionally have some insight from havingworked in Afghanistan and elsewhere in thedeveloping world. It has guided us as we tryto decipher the intentions of the Topchicommunity through the translated corre-spondences that are our primary means ofcommunication. It has helped us build trustwith the school’s principal and with our ded-icated partners in Kabul as we successfullyimplement projects together. It also keeps usalive to how precarious it is to be a girl inschool in Bamiyan, where the future isclouded with uncertainty.

This openness was, perhaps, most appar-ent on a Thursday evening last March whenthe Partnership celebrated its 10th anniver-sary. The Partnership chose, rather than sim-ply trumpeting it successes, to delve into thecomplex landscape that surrounds theTopchi community, looking for a glimpse atwhat the future will bring. It brought togeth-er a diverse set of panelists, each with a dif-ferent perspective on Afghanistan and thecompeting forces that complicate efforts atprogress there. Fahima Vorgetts, founder ofthe Afghan Women’s Fund, who grew up inAfghanistan and now raises funds to buildschools and clinics there, talked openlyabout her frustrations with American policytowards Afghanistan past and present.Abdullah Antepli, the Muslim chaplain at

Duke University, spoke of the destruction ofAfghanistan as being a collective failure andhow painful it was for him to see, on a visitto Afghanistan several years ago, the religionhe loves being distorted beyond recognition.Via Skype, amazingly, from Kabul, HassinaSherjan, founder of Aid Afghanistan forEducation and a former refugee who hasreturned to open schools in her country,spoke of the challenges of sustaining thegains of recent years in an environmentwhere funding is drying up.

Within the Upper School Meeting Halltransformed into an Afghan bazaar, linedwith gorgeous carpets, clothes, and jewelry,and a beautiful and authentic Haft-Seentable set to celebrate the Persian holiday ofNowruz, the discussion was a complex andat times difficult one. Each of the panelistsspoke passionately, and each elicited pas-sionate responses and questions from theaudience. Through the skillful moderating ofPhillip Gary, each concluded by expressinghow they remained in touch with the hopethat carries them forward in their pursuits.The formal discussion concluded with MikeHanas emphasizing the importance ourcommunity places on sharing and leaninginto all of our various opinions and pas-sions. The richest conversations, he remind-ed us, derive from dealing honestly with dif-ficult topics about which people do not nec-essarily agree.

The evening was, in other words, a mostbefitting way to celebrate these first 10 years

of the Afghan Sister Schools Partnership.What I believe everyone took home withthem that night was a sense that the needwhich brought the Partnership into beingremains as great as it was a decade ago, andthe terrain through which it walks, just ascomplex. We have so much to learn abouthow we find and maintain peace, and thegenius of the Partnership is that we arelearning in lockstep with our children, whowill do more with this knowledge than weever can.

With the evening approaching here, I needto close this and wade back into all the com-plexity of the global health initiative whichhas brought me here, but I must tell you thattaking these few hours to remind myself ofthe Afghan Sister Schools Partnership, andthe openness and warmth which sustains it,has been as rejuvenating as participating inone of its monthly committee meetings.This initiative I am working on is five yearsin the making, and, in working through all ofthe politics that have encumbered it over thisstretch, I am positive that I would not havefound my way here were I not remindedmonthly of how things can work.

So as the sun drops over the hilltops herein Kenya, I want to leave you with one lastthought. If you are looking for inspirationfor your own pursuits, I think it can befound by lending whatever time you have tothe Afghan Sister Schools Partnership andits many pursuits. I cannot recommend ithighly enough.

Partnership At 10 Years

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We are proud and happy to announce the

50th Anniversary of the Carolina Friends

School, which will be celebrated during the

2014-2015 school year!

This celebration begins September 13th,

2014 (exactly 50 years from the day when

school began at CFS) with a silent meeting

for worship at the Durham Friends Meeting

and culminates in a weekend-long extrava-

ganza in April of 2015. FIFTY YEARS OF

FRIENDS will offer a school year full of spe-

cial events, alum gatherings, and historical

highlights.

Be on the lookout for the unveiling of our

CFS Archives, which is presently and loving-

ly being created by archivist Pam Mayer with

the help of an Upper School class and an

Archives Committee. We also look forward to

the publication of an anthology of essays,

short stories, poems, and songs, entitled 27

Views of CFS, with the permission of former

CFS parent and Eno Publishers founder

Elizabeth Woodman. In honor of our deep

history of large and delicious potluck dinners,

we will create an updated version of our

cookbook, Dinner with Friends.

We welcome the involvement of past and

present students, parents, grandparents, staff,

and trustees in the planning of events for 50

YEARS OF FRIENDS. If you are interested

in helping with Archives, Virtual Presence,

Sports and Athletics, Community Service,

Commemorative Artwork, or Special Events,

please contact one of the co-conveners of

the 50th Anniversary Planning Committee:

Jane Anderson ([email protected]),

Will Gordon ([email protected]), or Carrie

Huff ([email protected]).

We also invite you to take a look at—and

bookmark—our 50th Anniversary information

page at www.cfsnc.org/50th for updates.

During the 2014-2015 school year, CarolinaFriends will celebrate its 50th birthday. Duringthat half-century, according to the FourthLong-Range Strategic Plan, CFS has evolved“from a young school with an experimentalquality to an established, enduring educationalinstitution.” Our school is now old enough tohave a past! This important benchmark raisesquestions for us regarding the stewardship ofour history. How can we responsibly preservethe materials that document the distinctivenessof our community and its origins? Whatresources and memorabilia are in the hands offormer and current parents, staff members,and alums? What is the best way to collect andorganize these historical documents? Theanswer was immediately clear: create theCarolina Friends School Archives.

The Purpose

Creating a CFS Archives is not about col-lecting old stuff; it is, rather, an opportunity topreserve items from the past that will tell thestory of the School in the future. It’s a chance

to be intentional about what we save. We con-vey what is important to us in what we chooseto preserve—instead of being left with thatwhich merely survives. We can also be inten-tional in a way that shows the important facetsand dimensions of the community. Left tochance, it’s possible, perhaps even likely, thatsmaller or temporary programs may be forgot-ten altogether. As the School gets older, itspast will no longer reside in the living memoryof community members. The archives willserve as an institutional memory. We will beable to tell the story of the evolution of CFSto future audiences by letting the recordsspeak. However, archival material is collectedand organized not only for the future, but alsofor today. The archives will strengthen ourcommunity in the present. Materials from thearchives can be used for outreach as well ascelebrations—like the 50th Anniversary!

The Process

The core of the archival collection was liter-ally rescued from destruction by Upper School

50 Years of Friends

Mark Your Calendars:

5 0 Ye a r s o f F r i e n d sCelebrating a Half Century of Learning, Community, and Service

Preserving the Past By Pam Mayer, CFS Archivist

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teacher Bryce Little. When he was approachedabout taking on materials found in the CenterBuilding in 2004, he agreed. Thank goodness!He worked with a group of Upper School stu-dents during their End-of-Year experience tobegin the organizing process. Later, NataliaSilva Harwood, Admission Secretary, alsoplayed a role. In the summer of 2012, thearchives were folded into the planning for the50th Anniversary of the School. This marks anew phase in the stewardship of the old mate-rials—a commitment to preserve them inaccordance with archival principles and stan-dards.

Since August 2012, I have been workingwith the newly established ArchivesCommittee. Members Bryce Little, JimHenderson, Kathy Schenley, Libby PittmanPendergrast, and Willy Rotella (all current orformer staff members) have provided guid-ance in terms of policies and collection deci-sions as well as rolling up their sleeves andworking with the archival collection. It hasbeen a joy spending time working on the proj-

ect with them. In addition, I have spent manyhappy hours devising an organizational taxon-omy, organizing the materials, and determin-ing preservation and media format issues.

I am also teaching the first ever Archivingclass in the Upper School. The students areintroduced to archives and archival theory andlearning about their school’s history throughtheir work with the CFS photo and newspaperclipping collections.

The Collection

As an archivist, I have never met an olddocument or photo that I didn’t like. That’swhy I’m glad we created a mission statementand selection policy. We are not adding to thearchives indiscriminately. The mission state-ment informs our decision-making withregard to what we choose to collect and pre-serve: The CFS Archives seeks to promoteknowledge and understanding of the origins,aims, programs, and goals of the School.

The selection policy further refines collec-tion decisions: The CFS Archives collects

noncurrent official records created in thecourse of the operation of the School as wellas materials that reflect the life of the Schoolthat are deemed to be of enduring value.

The materials in the CFS Archives are manyand varied—school directories and hand-books, yearbooks, We & Thee magazines,Meeting for Graduation programs, studentpublications, photographs, and much more. Iam meeting with CFS staff members abouttransferring archival treasures in their posses-sion to the archives. If you think you have aunique treasure that might help to tell the CFSstory, I’d love to have a conversation with you,too.

Carolina Friends is about teaching andlearning. Our Archives is about teaching andlearning, about CFS! We hope that our collec-tion will help students for generations tocome to learn about and from this very specialendeavor that is Friends School. Preservingour past sends a message about our commit-ment to the future. As Mike Hanas says, “CFSis here for the long haul!”

as We Prepare for the Future

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In the spring, the flowering cherry and crabapple trees on campus fill me with hope for thefuture. To me, their beauty and growth over theyears reflect how children are nurtured andblossom at CFS.

The trees are a living demonstration that oneperson can make a difference in many lives fordecades to come. Elizabeth Taylor, parent oftwo CFS alumni, donated some of these love-ly trees. They are but one example of her lega-cy of caring.

On a sunny autumn morning, I sat outsidewith Elizabeth as we talked about CFS and itsmeaning to her family.

Dana and Laurel, Elizabeth’s daughters,began CFS in Early School. From the firstdays, she knew she had made the right choice.

“What I immediately loved about CFS wasthat the teachers understood and accepted mychildren as individuals. And that from agethree, they were surrounded by people of allages who engaged them respectfully. Themulti-generational environment taught themhow to get to know adults as individuals.”

She liked that CFS teachers made learninginteresting and memorable.

“We talk about CFS often. Recently, Danafairly lit up as she explained Zoo Land [inLower School] to her fiancé. Twenty years later,she could recount in vivid detail everythingabout that biology assignment.”

Elizabeth noted her daughters continue tobenefit from CFS.

“My daughters learned how they learn bestand what they need to do to succeed. Theimportance of honoring commitments, and

that once you make a decision you own it. CFSgave them the tools to communicate, to ques-tion, to learn, and even to have fun.”

“I see all of this reflected in how they’venavigated situations, challenges, and relation-ships in college, in grad school, and at work.”

Elizabeth appreciates that the Schoolremains true to its principles.

“I’m passionate about the arts. I’m thrilledthat the arts remain strong at CFS. And thatthe curriculum is an integrated curriculum.There’s still the beauty of CFS being a realcommunity, one in which [Principal] Mike[Hanas] knows everyone’s name.”

“From the beginning, CFS was a communi-ty for our family. To this day, my best friendsinclude parents of my daughters’ classmates.And my daughters’ closest friendships are withthose they knew at CFS. And many of theirfriends are now my friends.”

Elizabeth sees CFS teaching values thatinfluence alumni’s lives for decades. “CFS isfoundational; it gave my daughters their valuesystem. They learned to find the essence, thelight in each individual. They learned how toengage the world.”

“My daughters and many alumni are com-mitted to making the world a better place. Ilove to imagine the huge ripple effect of somany alumni out there making differences inpeople’s lives and communities. Through ouralumni, CFS is changing the world.”

“I made a gift in my will to keep the spirit ofCFS alive. Friends School’s values are close tothe core of who I am, the kind of world I envi-sion. The gift in my will supports my hopes for

the future.” “My daughters are the most important peo-

ple in my life, and I can’t imagine them beingthe incredible women they are today withoutthe love, support, and education they receivedat CFS.”

“It feels good to give back to CFS becauseit’s been so instrumental in their lives. And inmy life. My gift in my will gives thanks to theschool that means so much to all of us.”

Like her gift of trees, Elizabeth’s gift in herwill reflects her commitment to a brighterfuture. Both gifts will make a difference forgenerations yet to come: thousands of childrenwho will blossom at CFS and, like Elizabeth,be the change they wish to see in the world.

You can, too. Please contact John Ladd.919.383.6602 x270, [email protected].


Elizabeth Taylor

Family, School, & Values

“I made a gift in my will tokeep the spirit of CFS alive”

By John Ladd, Development Coordinator

*Special thanks to alumni parent Diane Robertson, who procured the trees and supervised their planting.

Elizabeth Taylor

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Glimpses of This Fall’s Campus Events

(Photos, left to right, and top to bottom) Back to School picnic;parent coffee; Fall Sports Day; packing care packages for theClass of 2013; and finally, two shots from Halloween.

You'll find lots more campus event photos in the

web edition of We & Thee,

www.cfsnc.org/Fall_Winter2013

Please mark your calendar for

FriendsFest!Saturday April 26

Haw River Ballroom, Saxapahawwww.cfsnc.org/FriendsFest2014

There were many great moments in athletics at

CFS this past year, including:

• A top 10 finish by the boys’ cross-country team

in the state meet.

• A second straight appearance by the boys’ soccer

team in the state finals.

• A 3rd place finish by the girls’ tennis team in the

state tournament.

• The first girls’ tennis state tournament flight win-

ner.

• The second straight conference tournamentchampionship for our Middle School ultimate

Frisbee team.

• Regular season and tournament championships

for the Middle School girls’ soccer team.

• The first ever win in the state tournament by our

baseball team.

• Our first ever state championship—in any

sport—in ultimate Frisbee!

FALL

MS Boys’ Soccer

All Conference: Nick T

MS Volleyball

All Conference: Naomi T

US Cross-Country

10th out of 24 schools state championship

meet (boys’ team)

All Conference: Anna K

Dillon L

Mac S

US Boys’ Soccer

Conference regular season champions

Conference tournament champions

#3 seed in the state tournament

All Conference: Isaac D

Knox E

Esten F

Nick M

Dani M-A (Player of the Year)

All State: Isaac D

Dani M-A

US Girls’ Tennis

#3 finish in the state tournament

All Conference: Ellie M

State champion #2 doubles: Clara H-N, Lydia Y

US Volleyball

All Conference: Jolene W

WINTER

MS Girls’ Basketball

All Conference: Hadiyah O

MS Boys’ Basketball

All Conference: Alex C

MS Ultimate

TYUL tournament champion

US Girls’ Basketball


All Conference: Jolene W

Lydia Y (Player of the Year)

All State: Lydia Y

US Boys’ Basketball

All Conference: Josh B

SPRING

MS Baseball

All Conference: Lukas B

MS Girls’ Soccer

Regular season champions

Tournament champions

All Conference: Jamie B

Naomi T

Coco W

US Baseball


All Conference: Matt G-H

US Girls’ Soccer

Regular season conference champions


All Conference: Davi C

Olivia H

Lydia Y

All State: Davi C

US Boys’ Tennis


All Conference: David B

Tate G

Mark W

All State: Tate G

US Ultimate

State champion


CFS Athletics:

A Look Back at 2012-13by Alex Gordon, Athletic Director

Here’s a listing of 2012-2013 team and individual highlights:

W&Tfall2013.1.22:Layout 1 1/22/2014 7:02 PM

We & Thee is published twice a year by

Carolina Friends School4809 Friends School Road

Durham, NC 27705

Mike Hanas, Principal

Anthony L. Clay, Editor

Kathleen Davidson, Associate Editor

Doug Johnston, Designer

Laura Shmania, Staff Photographer


by Rebecca Swartz, Annual Giving Coordinator

We have the Friends of Friends School

Annual Campaign. As the name implies, we

ask all CFS community members each year

to support the School’s ongoing operational

needs. This helps us close the difference

between the cost of tuition paid by families

and the actual cost of educating each stu-

dent—a difference of $2,712 per student, of

which $740 is covered by the annual fund.

We have the Building Friends Capital

Campaign. This special fundraising effort,

for a defined period of time, allows us to do

the big things and realize big dreams that we

couldn’t do otherwise because we don’t have

the tuition revenue or yearly fundraising to

make them possible.

And, we have Visionary Friends, individ-

uals who include CFS in their retirement

plans or in their will, legacy gifts truly of any

size that down the road make the School an

even stronger place. These three friends—

through the generosity of our community—

are working together for the benefit of CFS

students, now and in the future.

Did you know?Annual fund gifts can be made anytime(and you can be a SUSTAINER by settingup a gift that reoccurs monthly) via ourwebsite: www.cfsnc.org/donate.Annual fund appeal letters are mailed inlate November followed by phonathoncalls in the Spring.

Questions or comments?Contact Rebecca Swartz at 919.383.6602x228 or email [email protected].

CFS is a very friendly place—especially in fundraising!

Want to save a tree?Every issue of We &Thee is available

online at www.cfsnc.org.If you would like to stop your paper

copy and have a PDF emailed to you,please email: [email protected].

W&Tfall2013.1.24:Layout 1 1/24/2014 11:43 AM


Additional Images of We & Thee Web Edition Bonus

First, We Held a Meeting for Graduation 2013


Events At CFS


Then Came The Fall:

Assistant Principal for Teaching and Learning Renee Prillamantalks with parents at the Back-to-School picnic

Lisa Joyner poses with students at the MS retreat

Staffer, alum, and alum parent Robert Bittle at the MiddleSchool retreat

Students at the MS retreat

Dedicated CFS sports fan (and US teacher) Dave Wordenenjoys soccer at Fall Sports Day

Students and parents at Fall Sports Day


9.28.13 a large contingent of CFS community membersmarched in the North Carolina Pride parade in Durham (IdaTrisolini photo)

9.28.13 a large contingent of CFS community membersmarched in the North Carolina Pride parade in Durham

9.28.13 MS Ecochicos at Climate Change march in Raleigh 10.28.13 Gayle Rush (CES) and Lillemor Ross participate inthe new staff retreat at the Durham Friends Meetinghouse

Principal Mike Hanas, Assist Principal Renee Prillaman, US headTom Anderson, MS head Kip Kuhn, & Dir of Adv Anthony L. Clayjoin Friends Council on Education Executive Director IreneMcHenry & other educators at a Q-1 Conference

Former Upper School head Carrie Huff and her father and step-mother (recognizable to many from their decades as stars of “Daysof Our Lives”) at CFS Community event in Los Angeles


Susanne Friedrich and Eric Garner '80 visit at a CFS communitygathering in Los Angeles

Pete Kiehart '04 talks with Principal Mike Hanas at the San Francisco gathering of CFS community members

School co-founder and Build Friends Campaign co-chair Martha Klopfer visits with Rebecca Laszlo '80 and her partnerSara Intriligator in Seattle

Director of Advancement Anthony L. Clay poses with a group ofChinese school principals who toured CFS

Middle Schoolers participants in the NaNoWriMo (National NovelWriting Month) pose

Middle Schoolers participating in the Battle of the Books posewith their books


A Lower Schooler works on her gingerbread house Ben Harris '09 took part in the 2nd annual Alum-StudentUltimate Frisbee game

Hannah Strom '09, Jason Hopkins Parker '05, and Nick MacLeod '13 head off the field at the 2nd annual Alum-Student Ultimate Frisbee game

Students and a parent at Lower School Night at the Gym, ourWinter Sports Night

Middle Schoolers show off their period attire on '60s dress day Campus Early Schoolers work on letters to civil rights activist BobZellner, our Martin Luther King, Jr. celebration keynote speaker


And Then Came

The Winter Dance

Shan Cretin, General Secretary of the Nobel Peace Prize-winningAmerican Friends Service Committee speaks to CFS communitymembers and members of the Chapel Hill & Durham FriendsMeetings

Longtime teacher Henry Walker visits with retired colleaguesHattie Scott Warner (Middle School head), Shirley Block (LowerSchool head), and Peggy Manring (our first visual arts teacher)before a Middle School performance of “Oliver”

Retired LS head Shirley Block, retired MS head Hattie ScottWarner, MS teacher Leon Ikenberry (whose 1st yr as a teacher wasHattie's last), School co-founder Martha Klopfer, & Hattie's newestsuccesor Kip Kuhn

A Photographic Progress Reporton the Middle School Expansion(A project made possible by your support for the Building Friends Capital Campaign.)

It’s really remarkable how much can change in just a couple of months!


we & thee, fall/winter 2013

Documents