ESV

12 PUT on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved,

compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, 13 bearing with one another

and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other;

as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must FORGIVE.

14 And above all these PUT on

love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.

15 And LET the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body.

And BE thankful.

16 LET the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another

in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs,

with thankfulness in your hearts to God.

17 And whatever you DO, in word or deed,

DO everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

NIV

12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves

with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.

13 Bear with each other and forgive one another

if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

14 And over all these virtues PUT on

love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

15 LET the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace.

And BE thankful.

16 LET the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another

with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit,

singing to God with gratitude in your hearts.

17 And whatever you DO, whether in word or deed,

DO it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

IN HIS IMAGE: Part 3 - Learning to Love Others WellColossians 3:12-17

OPTIONAL OUTLINES: Principle Based:

Three principles that will help you love others well:

1) To grow in loving others well, grow in understanding of how well God loves you! (Love tank Illustration: tea cups, glasses, buckets barrels)

2) To grow in loving others well, realize your behavior is a choice and not just a reaction of your personality.

(Cholerics, Phlegmatics, Sanguines, Meloncholy examples) (Cholerics - can be harsh but with the Spirit will be kind)(Meloancholis - can become bitter, but the Spirit will forgive) (Phelgmatics - can be lazy, but the Spirit will be diligent)(Sanguines - can be impatient, but with the Spirit will be patient)

3) To grow in loving others well, drink from the well of an authentic, intimate relationship with Jesus in community with others.a) Understand God is good and in control which brings peace.b) Get intimate with the words of Jesus. c) Get serious about community and humble enough to receive from

one another. d) Realize what you do should represent who He is.

SHORT VERSION OF PRINCIPLES:

3 Keys to becoming an expert at loving others well:

1) Grow in your understanding of how God loves you well. (tea cup, glass, buckets, barrel)

2) Realize your behavior is a personal choice and not just a person-ality reaction.

(Cholerics, Plegmatics, Sanguines, Melancholy)

3) Get intimate with God and authentic with his community.

(peace, Word, community, ambassador)

FIRST DRAFT: (HOLY REPRESENTATIVES) (DIFFERENT EMPHASIS)It ’ s a big deal to God what we put on as we go out into the real world while we relate with people in the church and outside the church.

1. We must put on Holiness. 12 Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.

2. We must put on forgiveness that stems from LOVE. 13 Make allowance for each other's faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.14 Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony.

3. We must put on the accessories that reflect Jesus in all we do. 15 And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful. 16 Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom he gives. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts.vs.17 And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father.

IN HIS IMAGE: Part 3 - Learning to Love Others WellColossians 3:12-17

14 And above all these PUT on love, which binds every-thing together in perfect harmony.

We often think of love as a feeling and not an action. When you think of love as an action and realize that there are “Love Skills” that can be learned it can revolutionize your relationships. The puppy love we often feel won’t get us through the battles we face in life. Skills in communica-tion (Listening, asking “is this what you mean” or “what I am understand-ing you are saying)… Skills in conflict resolution can take disagreements and make them opportunities for growing closer together instead of driv-ing your apart. Understanding expectations and learning to communicate them can eliminate endless frustration. We need coaching and modeling of what love looks like as it is often a foreign language to us.

Three principles that will help you love others well:

1) To grow in loving others well, grow in understanding of how well God loves you! (Love tank Illustration: tea cups, glasses, buckets barrels)

as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved,

—> Understanding who Christ is and your identity in Him has a powerful affect on your behavior. Paul spends two chapters emphasizing the supremacy of Christ and our completeness in Him before even touching on issues of who we relate to others.

Col 2:9-10 For in Him all the fullness of Deity dwells in bodily form, 10 and in Him you have been made [a]complete, and He is the head [b]over all rule and authority;

In verse 12, Paul repeats himself… we can’t hear it enough who we are in Christ. The basis for our behavior is not just moralism but it flows out of who we are in Christ.

Chosen - He picked you… you are wanted

Holy - Set apart for a sacred purpose … not just cleaned up and sinless in the eyes of God, but also sacred in purpose.Beloved - You are beloved … Your identity is that love is written all over you.

2) To grow in loving others well, realize your behavior is a choice and not just a reaction of your personality.

(Cholerics, Phlegmatics, Sanguines, Meloncholy examples) (Cholerics - can be harsh but with the Spirit will be kind)(Meloancholis - can become bitter, but the Spirit will forgive) (Phelgmatics - can be lazy, but the Spirit will be diligent)(Sanguines - can be impatient, but with the Spirit will be patient)

Often in relationships what makes us connect is when we admire other peoples strengths. But as we get to know them better, there weaknesses can tend to irritate us.

THE KEY is remembering that everyone is made in the image of God. Because of our fallen nature we have weaknesses but they don’t erase our strengths. WE need to learn to (v.13) “bear with one another’s” weaknesses and appreciate each others strengths. When we are able to “teach and admonish” one another from a place of security in our identity in Christ… our relationships can take us to whole to new level of growth.

Sanguine - Outgoing, popular, life of the party, lives for funCholeric - Likes to lead, confident, forceful, goal orientedMelancholy - Artistic, close friendships, organized, analyticalPhlegmatic - Easygoing gets along with all, balanced, steady

Every “temperament” has weaknesses and strengths. But we can’t use our “personality” as an excuse for our behavior.

Different personalities struggle with each of these differently:

compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience 13 bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must FORGIVE.

My old self has a tendency to be harsh… but God is calling me to be kind.

My wife is much more sensitive and easily hurt... but God is calling her to forgive . Together we are becoming more like Christ.

Some personalities may struggle with “compassion” and others with “for-giveness.” The key is to realize in Christ, we have a choice. We choose our attitudes… whether to be grateful or to be discontent. We choose how we will “Clothe” the new us.

In most premarital counseling books, there is a chapter on personalities. These principals are just basic and should be applied to all relation-ships… not to categorize people but so that we would understand our strengths and weaknesses and learn to grow together.

1 Peter 3:7a (ESV) — Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an un-derstanding way,

Whether marriage… parenting… or work relationships … part of loving someone is learning to understand where they are coming from.

Regardless of personality… there is a “Spirit-filled” version of your per-sonality. Understanding personality helps us understand why we have tendencies but are no excuse for a lack of love.

Instead of getting bitter… forgive and address issues.

Instead of being judgmental and harsh… be patient and compassionate and help a brother or sister out.

Instead of words that tear down… slander and gossip and critical speech… clothe you tongue with kindness.

Instead of always speaking your mind… Speak only that which builds up.

Instead of giving up on someone who has a different struggle than you.. keep being patience and giving them another chance.

Instead of holding a list of wrongs and writing people off.. forgive and when possible seek to help another out.

The passage mentions “One another” or “each other” many times. The reality is you don’t get “saved into isolation.” God saves you into a fam-ily The family of Christ is really how we learn a new language of love and what love looks like. (1 Cor 13).

Our personalities our not an excuse for our behavior. Often we have have horrible relational habits rooted in our old nature and we have to ask God to help us deal with our anger and fear that creates walls that keep us from having authentic and deep relationships with other believers.

3) To grow in loving others well, drink from the well of an authentic, intimate relationship with Jesus in community with others.

The KEY is whether you are tea cup, glass, bucket or barrel… to let Christ fill you up with his love. Like the roots of a tree draw water… we need to drink of his love often to be able to love others well.

a) Understand God is good and in control which brings peace.

15 And LET the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body.

b) Get intimate with the words of Jesus.

16 LET the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching

c) Get serious about community and humble enough to receive from one another.

and admonishing one another in all wisdom,

singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.

d) Realize what you do should represent who He is.17 And whatever you DO,

in word or deed, DO everything in the name of the Lord Jesus,

giving thanks to God the Father through him.

be thankful…

repeated three times… we are grateful because we are holy and beloved, chosen, hidden in Christ, knowing our future is that when he appears we will appear with him in glory.

v. 15 - be thankfulv. 16 singing … with thankfulnessv. 17 do everything… giving thanks

ONE OF OUR GREATEST WITNESSES CAN BE WHEN WE ARE GRATEFUL FOR OUR JOBS, OUR SPOUSES, OUR KIDS, OUR CHURCH FAMILY…

Ungratefulness goes back to when we don’t trust God’s sovereignty or Christ’s sufficiency to satisfy our greatest needs.

Ungratefulness reflects are heart of discontentment which is rooted in idolatry.

1 Thes 15:16-18 Rejoice always, 17 pray without ceasing, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

You Worship “with thankfulness in your hearts to God” is one of our great-est witnesses. Whatever you do… view it as worship.

What you do in relationships reflects whether you believe people were made for God’s glory or for you to use them for your own glory. And it makes your attitude have a smell.

Example: Fragrance of worshipPeople who volunteer in the nursery… what you do has a smell! In your nostrils… changing a diaper may not smell to good. But when you have a grateful heart… and your are thanking God.. saying Thank You Jesus someone else is hearing the word… Thank You God that I can do the equivalent of watching feet for your honor…. Thank You God that I can pray for the destiny of these babies and toddlers. Thank You God that I can make an impact and love people through serving.

FIRST DRAFT: HOLY REPRESENTATIVES

Col 1:12-17 Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. 13 Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. 14 Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all to-gether in perfect harmony. 15 And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful. 16 Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom he gives. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thank-ful hearts. 17 And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus , giving thanks through him to God the Father.

I walked to the front door with my book bag and grabbed the car keys and said “ I will meet you in the car”. My wife said, “Wait your not wearing that are you?” I said, what? She said ‘that shirt and tie does not match your pants, and those shoes are not dress shoes, there too casual. She ran to my closet and a minute later, with the woman look, said “ here, put this on and change your shoes.” I told her, its not a big deal what I have on, its good enough. She made it clear that it is a big deal to her how I look.

It ’ s a big deal to God what we put on as we go out into the real world while we relate with people in the church and outside the church. Paul made it clear what we need to put on in order to relate to others.

Lets open our Bibles to Colossians 3:12.

1. We must put on Holiness. 12 Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.

It’s key to remember that Paul is writing to the Colossian Church, not to a singular person. God choose you and I to be holy, but Paul in this context is charging us as a whole to be a group or a family of holy people.You may ask, “why is that important?”

Lets do some scripture hopping here,* 1 Peter 1:15 says, “But now you must be holy in everything you do, just as God who chose you is holy. 16 For the Scrip-tures say, “You must be holy because I am holy.”The apostle Peter quoted the Old Testament in this passage. Specifically he quoted Leviticus 19:2, where God prompts Moses to tell Israel a simple command, God says, “Give the following instructions to the entire community of Israel. You must be holy because I, the Lord your God, am holy.”* Through Moses, God communicated to his chosen people, the nation of Israel, a simple command: Be Holy. Then God, through the Apostles, communicates the same message to the Colossian church: God chose you to be Holy.And today, God through the preaching of his Word and the reading of his scripture encourages you with the same truth: Holiness.To be Holy is to be “ like nothing else that can be com - pared to ” . To posse certain divine qualities. We are to called to be like God in every area of life. 1 Theso 2:10 10 You are witnesses, and so is God, of how holy, righteous and blameless we were among you who believed.> Paul made it clear that now that we are part of His family, we are to be like Jesus. Holy.

* So what does that look like? Paul tells us in Vs 12.* v12,“you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted

mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.”

> To Cloths oneself is to “Put on” to Dress. It is the attitude of choice. It is both mind and heart that is submitted to the will of God not our own. Holiness cannot be separated from these qualities!Holiness is a choice we make by the act of putting on divine qualities from The Father. Its a command. “You must”. It is crucial that we clothe our-selves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentle-ness, and patience.> I learned that the reason we are commanded to put on these qualities is because each one of the qualities mentioned are to be expressed in the act of relationships. There is no mention of qualities like efficiency or cleverness, not even diligence - not that these things are unimportant. • But the great basic Christian virtues are those which govern

human relationships.A significant measure of our Christian life is found simply in how we treat people and the quality of our relationships with them.

* You want a tangible measure of your Christian life? See how do you treat people?I’m not simply talking about the homeless or those in need or even your grandma. I’m asking about how you treat the person 2 rows in front of you - I’m asking about the person behind you. Because thats easy, you can say I’m kind to my mom, I’m gentle w/ Guela and I’m patient with my family members who drive me crazy. Well how about your brother or sister in Christ? Do you even give yourself the chance to exemplify these qualities to them?

Which then begs the question, do you even view those sitting around you right now as your brothers and sisters in Christ?I truly believe its vital we reflect on how we view ourselves as a body of believers. How hypocritical would it be if we em-bodied tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentle-ness and patience to strangers and yet not to each other?

2. We must put on forgiveness that stems from LOVE. 13 Make allowance for each other's faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.14 Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony.

* Paul turns up the heat by admonishing the church to “make allowance”, to be patient or to endure with each person who are part of the family of God.

* That require’s a level of understanding that had it not been for the mercy of God through Jesus expressed toward us on the Cross, we would be left in our sin.

* Just as God forgave us our sins and was patient with us with His unconditional grace we are to do the same with others in the church. Jesus taught us to pray everyday “ forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us”.

* God’s forgiveness offers complete restoration and honor; in the habit of men, we feel we should be compli-mented when we merely tolerate those who sin against us. (1 John 1:9)

* I encourage you to reflect on how Christ has forgiven you.You can go as far back as your crazy days in high school, or as early as this morning - but the truth is that He has for-given us.

Author C.S Lewis wrote, “To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.”

* To cloth ourselves with love is a choice we must make daily to put on love. This is supernatural. This can only be done by a person who has a walk with Jesus. A submissive heart toward Jesus. A person who has picked up their cross and following Jesus. A person who is allowing Jesus to rule them, lead them and allowing Jesus to influence their lives on a daily basis. It is an act of a submissive heart to the will of Jesus over our own will toward someone else.

We must understand this Church! This is what separates Christianity from everything else. All we do should be an outflow of love. Jesus said it in Matthew 22, the Pharisees come to Jesus and ask him what is the greatest commandment. Whats the one that trumps them all? What the one that we really need to get right and nail? Jesus replies, “You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.”

LOVE CLOTHES IT ALL. Love binds it all, love holds it all to-gether. If what you do as a believer is not clothed in love, all you por-tray is empty actions attempting to please man.Love - church - for God, and love, for one another, is what will bind us together.

3. We must put on the accessories that reflect Jesus in all we do. 15 And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful. 16 Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wis-

dom he gives. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts.vs.17 And whatever you do or say, do it as a representa-tive of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father.

> Accessories highlight what we wear. The character acces-sories that Paul teaches us to put on are: * Peace, meaning tranquility; It is used as a gauge to make

sure that the relationships are healthy in the church because we are divinely invited by God to be people of peace which reflects the Kingdom of God.

* Warren Weirsbe says’ When there is peace in the heart, there will be praise on the lips: “And be ye thankful”. Thanksgiving is the will of God, so when a person is right with the Father through the Son there will be peace with one another.

* When a person is clothed with Love the message of Christ can’t help but be preached. Paul was admonishing us to al-low the Word of God “be at home in our hearts”. God’s Word must be settled in us that we may not only live it but that it will live through us toward one another.

My favorite part of this message is vs17, Paul helps us to pay attention to all that we do. He teaches us that because we bear the name of Jesus, we carry a great re-sponsibility and a great privilege. Because we are called Christians, we identify with the death and resurrection of Christ. We also carry the authority that the name beings with it. John 16:23. That is why we are to live our lives cautiously and reverently before men. Matt 5:17 In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father. (NLT)

Altar Call:Ask God to reveal what area in our life do I need to bring be-fore him and repent of so I will put on Christ and live with pur-pose and thanksgiving.