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Road TripBy: Gina MiAlma

I stood at the bus stop holding my breath, my backpack heavy on my shoulder. The sun

was sinking low in the sky and there was a strange boy staring at me from the bench behind me. I

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tried to say hi but he didn’t respond. He just kept staring. I shouldn’t have done this I thought as

the boy stood and sauntered up behind me. “Where you from?” He whispered into my ear his

breath sent shivers down my spine.

“You first.” I said trying to sound brave like my brothers Caden was right I shouldn’t have gone.

Never in my life had I ever been in real danger. I’d always had my brothers and their friends to

watch over me.

“I’m from hell.” He said darkly “want to know more?”

“Not particularly.” My voice quivered and I could feel him smile, a sticky smile that churned my

stomach. I’m an idiot. I should be home safe in my bed with my brothers and his wrestling

buddies watching over me while they partied. I should never have listened to Liana and gone on

some random bus I knew nothing about. I just wanted to see ‘One Direction’ with her so badly I

wasn’t thinking. I’d never done anything alone and Liana made this seem so perfect, the perfect

way to show my brothers and my parents that I could handle myself. To show them that I wasn’t

a baby anymore. This sure blew up in my face.

“My dad killed my mother.” The boy whispered into my ear his hand brushing against my waist.

He found a comfortable spot and rested his hand on my hip. “She had her friend over, he was

gay. My dad went ballistic, got his gun. I was eight years old and watched him blow her friend’s

head off.” He licked his lips “then he got his carpet knife and slit her throat.” His voice was thick

and his fingers dug into my hip “he looked at me and told me it was my fault before he blew his

own brains out.” He paused and rested his chin on my shoulder “his blood was hot when it

splattered on me.” He gave a breathy laugh and kissed my neck. My heart pounded in my chest

and fear froze me in place “everyone told me it wasn’t my fault, but what they said in their eyes

was something else. My best friend stopped talking to me and I was sent to some distant relatives

that didn’t even want me.” He twisted my hair around his finger “they told me I was messed up

and that nothing could help me after what I saw.” He didn’t say anything for a minute “they were

right.” Headlights flashed over us and he stepped away. I ran onto the bus the second the doors

opened and sat with the first person I saw. My knuckles were white from squeezing my backpack

strap and my heart beat at my chest. The boy walked past me and sat at the back of the bus.

Alone. I sighed and dropped my head against the seat.

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“Tired?” the girl beside me asked, I gave a breathy laugh “you have no idea.” I closed my eyes

and tried to rest but my nerves were all worked up.

The night passed without incident and we stopped at daybreak to pick up another girl.

She was skinny with red-brown skin and brown almond eyes. She was pretty and obviously as

nervous as me. She climbed onto the bus with teary eyes and sat across from me. I felt for her,

after the other night I wasn’t too ready for this trip either I am a true idiot I sighed and leaned my

forehead against the seat.

“I’m Jane.” The girl beside me leaned across me and offered her hand to the girl “Lalita.” She

said softly “Lita for short.” Jane smiled brightly but my eyes were not on her face, they were

glued to her hair. Highlighter green, hot pink, electric blue and manic purple streaked through jet

black hair. The highlights made her look dangerous and didn’t match the bright eyed girl before

me. She noticed me looking and smiled “I like colors.” She said “my friends call me plain Jane.”

I couldn’t help but laugh “there is nothing plain about you.” I said. She shrugged “I have ironic

friends.”

“I thought my friends had jokes.” We both laughed, even Lita cracked a smile. “I’m Maria by the

way.” I said “Ria for short.” She shook my hand “nice to meet ya Ria.”

“Next stop Arizona.” The driver called. Lita touched her locket and a tear slid down her cheek, I

looked away pretending I didn’t see because I knew that’s what I would want someone to do but

Jane climbed over me and pulled out a pack of tissues “what’s wrong?” she asked concern

coloring her tone. Lita looked at Jane with glassy eyes and Jane handed her a tissue “It’s okay to

cry.” More tears slid down her face and Jane pulled her into a hug.

“My mom is going to hate me when she finds out?” Lita whimpered, “My brothers are going to

kill me.”

“Are you running away?” Jane asked with absolutely no judgment in her voice. Lita shook her

head “no, just didn’t have their permission to go.” She sniffled and rested her head against Jane

“when I was seven my twin brother was killed and my father left” she shrugged “I guess he felt

like it was his fault.” She whipped tears away and swallowed “since he left all I’ve ever wanted

to tell him is that it’s not his fault and I’m not mad at him and that I miss him.”

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“Why would that make your brothers and mother angry with you?” Jane asked rubbing her back.

“My mom hates him for leaving and blames him for my brother’s death. My brothers hate him

for abandoning us and hate him more for leaving me when I was closest to him.” she sniffled

again and hid in Jane’s neck. Her purple and pink highlights fell over Lita’s face hiding her tears

and I looked away embarrassed. I couldn’t talk to people. I hid my own emotions, how could I

possibly handle anyone else’s?

The day passed and Lita and Jane chatted easily. I laid my head against the window and

watched everything pass by. I thought maybe the trip wouldn’t be so bad now that I was with

other people and not alone on a dark street with a creepy messed up guy, but then someone

plopped down beside me. I looked up and found crazed blue eyes looking down at me.

“Where were we?” He asked. His hand slid onto my thigh and he sat too close. “Nowhere, back

off.” I shoved his hand away finding my courage and tried to push him out of the chair. He

grabbed my hand and pulled me close “I like ‘em feisty.” He said. “Let go.” I snapped. Jane and

Lita turned around and noticed what was going on. Fury filled Jane’s eyes and she leapt to her

feet but another shadow fell over us and she froze.

“Let her go Jack.” The voice was calm, but behind the calm there was a quiet warning. Jack

looked up at the other boy and smiled “Kal curt.” He said “long time no see.” He let me go and

stood toe to toe with Kal. “How you been buddy?” There was a twisted look in his eyes that

made me shrink back into the seat. Jane gasped and sat back down. Lita gripped her shoulders so

hard her fingers turned white. The two boys stared each other down, icy blue eyes and ominous

green eyes. There was some kind of silent exchange and Jack raised his hands, surrendering.

“Still trying to be the hero?” he asked “you couldn’t save Julie, and you can’t save her.” He

pointed to me “or her… or her.” He pointed at Lita and Jane. Kal clenched his fists and Jack

laughed “Pathetic man, you’re pathetic.” He walked passed Kal and lay across the back seat. The

tension eased and my lungs opened back up. I looked over to Lita and Jane and saw Lita holding

an inhaler to her lips. Asthma I realized. Lita smiled and stuck the inhaler back in her pocket.

“Are you okay?” Kal asked looking at my wrist. I met his eyes; green eyes flecked with gold and

saw a false serenity hiding a silent storm. “Yes, I don’t bruise easy.” I smiled “two older

brothers.” He sighed. He glanced at Jack and leaned toward me “don’t let him get too close,

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he’s…” his eyes dropped “he’s dangerous.” He looked at my wrist once more and turned to go

back to his seat but I caught his hand “sit with me?” I asked, he glanced at my hand then up to

my eyes and smiled “sure.” He sat beside me and dropped his head back against the seat with his

eyes closed. I smiled and lifted my eyes to Lita and Jane. Jane gave me a double thumbs up

“nice” she mouthed. I rolled my eyes and rested my head back against the window. This is not

going so well. Caden, Nathan. Where are you when I actually need you? I closed my eyes and

tried to sleep.

***

The bus jolted and my head smacked against the window. Something shattered and the

bus swerved left then right. The bus grinded against the ground, the back right side lower than

the rest of the bus. Sparks flew up from behind and Lita wheezed fumbling in her pockets for her

inhaler. Jane screamed.

“Hold on.” Kal grabbed me and smashed both of us against the seat his hand gripping the top to

hold us in place. The bus tipped a little and I hid in Kal’s chest too afraid to care that I had just

met him. The bus rocked and tipped but finally it came to a stop at the side of the road.

Everything was silent for a moment before the driver adjusted his hat and asked if everyone was

okay.

“Peachy.” Jack spat pushing off the floor. Jane snatched Lita’s inhaler from the floor and pushed

it into her mouth.

“We’re okay.” She said helping Lita. Kal looked down at me “you okay?” My head throbbed but

I couldn’t quit process it as pain yet. Kal ran his fingers through my hair and shook out some

glass. “Let me see.” He turned my head and pushed my hair aside he ran his fingers over the

tender skin and nodded “you’ll have a knot, but you should live.” He smiled “we’re okay.” He

helped me to my feet and we all filed out of the bus. Kal and Jane went to inspect the damage.

“Please tell me you’ve got another tire.” Jane said looking at the driver. He looked down and

Jane sighed, “someone call triple A.”

“We’re in the middle of now where.” Jack said “it’ll take them hours to get here.”

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“Can you try being positive for once in your twisted life?” Jane growled “why are you even here,

do you live to kill everyone else’s buzz?” Jack stomped up to her, getting in her face but she

didn’t step down. “Maybe I do, maybe I want people to know what pain is.” He said, pain

flashed in his eyes but was quickly replaced with that psychotic look.

“I know people like you.” Jane said “I used to see them all the time. One bad thing happened to

you and you think you have the right to step on everyone else. You think you can just do

whatever you want and your sob story will wipe the slate clean.” She scoffed “you’re nothing but

a-” Jack’s hand shot up and Jane flinched

“Jack!” Kal caught Jack’s fist and yanked him back. Jack looked at Kal’s hand and ripped his

wrist free “Funny how you’re there for everyone except your best friend.” He snarled “you don’t

even know these girls and you choose them over me. Just like you did with Julie.” Jack stepped

closer to Kal their chests touching. “Nothing to say, pal?” He spat the word as if it disgusted him,

as if he didn’t believe in such a word.

“Don’t bring up the past Jack. It’s not worth it.” Kal said with that calm warning. Jack laughed

“why, why is it not worth it?” He demanded “because you don’t want them to know how you

killed Julie.”

“No.” Kal snapped “I didn’t.”

“Yes you did.” He said “it’s your fault she’s dead. If you just left her alone-“

“Stop it Jack, you’re not right in the head. I know you went through something no one should

have to go through but you can’t use that for the rest of your life as an excuse to hurt people” Kal

stepped forward and pushed him back “I am sorry that I wasn’t there for you but I was just a kid

when you started catching cats on fire and decapitating birds. Do you know how scared I was

when you killed that dog; you cut its heart out man.”

“You were scared?” Jack asked “you were scared, I watched my father kill my mother and her

friend then blow his own brains out-” he laughed without humor “forget it.” he said “I’m all I’ve

got in this world and I’m not going to waste my time on you pieces of trash.” He whirled around

and stomped off shoulder checking me on his way out. I stumbled back but Lita reached out and

steadied me. “Thanks.” I said staring after him. I hated him at first, because he scared me so

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badly but that pain in his eyes was so utterly heart wrenching I couldn’t hate him. I only felt

sorry for him. Kal stepped up beside me protectively and I sat on the ground “that was

interesting.” Kal paced around and Jane and Lita chattered on, easy friends. The driver called

triple A and I stared at the darkening sky.

“Can anyone make a fire?” I asked. Lita looked up “I can.”

“I’ll get the fire wood then.” Kal went off and Lita picked up small twigs and dead grass and

made a small pile. She pulled out a small box of matches from her pocket and lit the little pile.

“I need slightly bigger sticks and we just keep moving up until we’ve got a good fire. “She blew

at the small flames and added more sticks. Jane and I walked around and picked up every stick

we saw.

“You seem so ready to listen to everyone else.” I said “but I haven’t heard you complain once

about anything.” I looked at her and saw her wilt, her whole body seemed smaller her eyes were

empty.

“Tell me.” I said she forced her eyes up and a single tear slid down her cheek. “I’ve never had a

family.” she confided “I’ve lived in a whore house that my cousin owned.” She swallowed and

more tears slid down her face “he used to make me pay rent.” Her lips quivered and I pulled her

into my arms “It’s okay.” I whispered squeezing her. Tears pricked my eyes but no tears fell. I

couldn’t remember the last time I shed a tear.

“I’m going anywhere but there now. I have a friend that lives in Arizona. My cousin lived up

there before here. The police were catching on so he moved out. Of course I had to go to school

there and there was one girl who knew everything about me. We’ve kept in touch. She’s been

waiting for me to get a way there.” I squeezed her with all my strength and wiped away her tears

“I’m not very good at talking but at least it’s over.” I blushed realizing how stupid and

insensitive I sounded “I know that doesn’t take away what already happened but you have the

rest of your life to be what you want.” Still not any better. She giggled “no, no. That’s all that

makes me smile anymore. Thinking about all that I have left to live for.” she wiped the rest of

her tears away and hugged me “thank you.” She whispered “thank you for asking.” She pulled

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away and went back to collecting sticks. I smiled, happy that just this once I could be someone’s

shoulder to cry on.

Night fell and I sat near the fire. The driver slept peacefully in his sleeping bag. Lita slept

curled up and Jane slept with her head on Lita’s stomach. Kal sat up with me watching me as if

he’s known me forever.

“What did he mean?” I asked “when he said that you killed Julie.” He looked off into the

distance and sighed “Jack and I were best friends when we were kids. We did everything

together, until his dad went psycho. I tried to be a good friend and be there for him but he was

losing it. He tortured and killed animals, picked on other kids. He threatened to kill them in

horrible ways.” He shook his head and dropped his face in his hands “I tried to be there for him, I

really did, but when my cousin Julie got into town. He wouldn’t leave her alone because I spent a

little more time with her, I only saw her once a year I-” he stopped and shook himself “he got

jealous. We were playing in the woods. There was a small cliff near where we were and he and I

were fighting, Julie tried to break us up and Jack shoved her back.” He pulled on his hair and

fought back tears “I tried to tell her not to fight with him, that he wasn’t himself but she didn’t

listen.” He drew in a shaky breath and continued “Jack grabbed her hair and threw her on the

ground. I grabbed him but he got me in the jaw first. He kicked her off and she broke her neck in

the fall.” He fell silent and all I could do was stare. I couldn’t decide what to feel, it was no one’s

fault really.

“It’s not your fault.” I said “you were only a child.” He laughed without humor and shook his

head “I should have suggested we play near home. I should have warned Julie about Jack before

she came.” No tears came but when he lifted his eyes I saw the pain, pain so deep it didn’t seem

it was possible for it to ever truly heal.

“It was not your fault” I repeated more firmly “it was no one’s fault. Jack went insane and you

were only eight, accidents happen. Some small and some big and there’s nothing you can do

about it. Nothing.” I looked him in the eye “so stop beating yourself up over it. You have the rest

of your life to make it right.” He stared into my eyes and a single tear trailed down his face. I

threw my arms around him and held him, held him like I held Jane. Sometimes you don’t need to

say a word. Sometimes you just need to be there. We laid back and just listened to each other’s

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steady hearts and stared at the sky. After about an hour or two I heard his soft even breaths

beside me and I realized he was asleep but I couldn’t turn my mind off. All I could think about

was how sad and lonely Jack must feel. How heavy with guilt he must be. He needs help and

that’s all. He’s traumatized.

Hours past and I could feel it was about five in the morning and still my mind would not

rest. Finally I slid away from Kal and went off in the direction Jack went earlier. I walked and

walked and walked. I walked until the sky grew darker and the moon sank lower. I walked until

my legs ached and I could feel the approaching morning. An hour away at most I thought looking

at the sky; finally I stopped and walked in a circle “where could he be?” I wondered aloud, I

sighed and pushed my hair away from my face.

“Looking for me.” He grabbed me from behind and locked my arms to my sides “what’s wrong,

Kal not doin it for you?” He laughed and sniffed my hair. “You smell nice.”

“Jack stop it.” I said “I know you hurt, I know you want someone to know how badly you hurt

but it doesn’t have to be like that. You can be better, you can change.” I didn’t struggle to

escape. I didn’t want to make him angry.

“Ha, why should I change?” He demanded “why don’t the rest of you just grow a thicker skin.”

He threw me on the ground and stood over me. “You don’t know anything about me. You don’t

know anything about pain.” He kicked dirt at me and circled me.

“Jack, please. I just want to help you.” I pleaded. He grabbed my hair and yanked me to my feet

“The last person that said that had me locked up in a mental institution!” He threw me back on

the ground and paced around me “you think I’m going to Arizona for some stupid band?” He

asked “I’m going because I finally escaped from that hell hole and now they’re looking for me.

Well I’m never going back to that place because they’re never going to find me.” He laughed

hysterically “you like me don’t you.” He said suddenly “you want to get with me.” He laughed

again “you’re pretty enough I guess,” his eyes traveled up and down my body and my cheeks

flushed red. I jumped to my feet “I don’t want to get with you first off; second off I think you

need to get some help before you ever look at a girl the way you just did me again.” I grit my

teeth and let out a scream “I wanted to help you. To tell you that Kal told me what happened and

that it’s not your fault and it’s not his fault. There were circumstances that clouded your mind.

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You can’t hold yourself responsible for it.” I sighed “I’m going back to camp now, you can talk

to me if you need to.” I turned my back on him and began to walk away but he grabbed me and

yanked me back “you’re not going anywhere.”

“Jack, let me go.” I ordered. He laughed and threw me back on the ground “you’re not going

anywhere until I’m through with you.” He stood over me and smiled that sick, twisted smile of

his that made my stomach churn. He reached into his waistband, under his shirt and pulled out a

gun “now, you’re going to do exactly what I tell you.” He said training the gun on my head fear

gripped my spine and I couldn’t move. “Jack, please.” I begged “what happened with Julie was

not your fault and neither is what happened to your parents.” I said “none of it is your fault.”

That pain entered his eyes again and the gun wavered “don’t talk about my parents.” He

whispered his voice soft and weak. “And don’t talk about Julie.” The gun lowered slightly “I

know it hurts, what happened to you, but holding onto it isn’t going to make it stop hurting.”

“Then what will!” he snapped “you tell me what will make the pain go away and I’ll do it.”

Tears fell down his face and I saw a scared little boy trying to find peace.

“You have to let it go, let it all go and move on.” I said calmly. He stared at the dirt for a moment

and nodded “just let it go?” He asked quietly. I nodded “yes, let all your anger go and except that

there are just something’s we can’t change.” He nodded again and a strange smile tilted his lips

up “let it go.” His eyes glazed over and he turned the gun on himself and smiled at me “thank

you.”

“NO!” My scream echoed though the skies, the gunshot smothered by it. Something hot

splattered across my face and I remembered what he said to me about his father’s blood.

“Ria!” Kal yelled sprinting across the field Lita and Jane hot on his trail. I just stared at Jack’s

lifeless body sprawled across the ground in a bloody mess.

“Ria, are you okay?” Kal dropped to his knees beside me and held my face in his hands “Ria!”

his voice sounded far away and I couldn’t stop looking at Jack’s body. The girls screamed, Lita

started wheezing, I stared at Jack. It was strange how different someone looked with a dead soul.

You could feel a change in the atmosphere.

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“Ria, look at me.” He yelled stepping between Jack’s body and me. “Did he touch you?” he

demanded “did he touch you!” Kal was just a blur in my peripheral vision as I stared at Jack’s

body, tears filled my eyes and solid arms lifted me from the ground.

“It’ll be okay.” Kal whispered obscuring Jack’s body from my sight. “He was right” I said

numbly “blood is hot.” Pain filled Kal’s eyes and he held me to his chest “what did he say to

you?” he asked. Finally, I lifted my eyes to his “he said thank you.” Tears slid down my cheeks

and I hid in his chest “I want to go home now.”

“I’ll get you home.” He said “I’ll get you home.”

***

An ambulance was called and it arrived as the sun rose. Lita and Jane huddled together

and Lita called her parents. Her brother promised to be here by the end of the day. Jane called

her friend and found she had died in a car accident. Lita said she could come home with her. I sat

by the dead fire numbly you never say the right words I thought to myself you should have left

the talking to people like Jane, people who have something smart to say.

“You okay?” Kal stood with that pained look in his eye, shifting from foot to foot. I didn’t

answer, he handed me his cell phone and walked away. I just sat there for a moment and slowly

dialed Caden’s number. He answered on the first ring “Ria?” His voice was panicked “yeah, it’s

me.” He took a few minutes to yell at me before he realized I wasn’t yelling back. I told him

where I was and he said he’d call one of his friends who lived nearby to get me.

“Stay. Put.” He ordered. The line went dead and I stared at the phone. I was an idiot to come on

this trip, I thought I was being mature and grown up by going. I laughed at myself I was being a

thoughtless child. I set the phone down and hid my face in my knees.

The sun was hot on my back and we sat around the dead fire, all teary eyed, tired and

ready to go home. Kal sat beside me, and I rested my head against his shoulder. As the sun set a

black sedan skidded to a stop and two tall broad shouldered boys hopped out of the car. “Lita!”

they yelled running over to her. They picked her up and inspected her, she didn’t complain only

said that Jane was coming with them. The two boys scrutinized the small girl, with her wild hair

and soft eyes. The slightly smaller one, the one Lita called Kieren, smiled first “let’s go then.”

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The boys escorted Lita and Jane to the car and buckled them in. They loved their sister a lot.

That much was plane.

Next a silver Honda civic pulled up and Michael stepped out “well, look who thinks she’s a big

girl.” He joked. I didn’t laugh and he realized something was off. Kal helped me up and walked

me to the car.

“She just watched someone blow their brains out.” He growled “I don’t think she’s in the mood

for jokes.” He opened the door for me and buckled me in “it’s not your fault.” He said. Michael

got in and started it up, Kal stepped away but I reached out and caught his hand “where are you

going?” I asked. He smiled “I don’t know. I didn’t know when I left.” He bent and kissed my

cheek “take care of yourself, maybe we’ll meet again someday.” He stepped away pulling his

hand from mine and Michael sped off. I watched Kal shrink behind us and eventually disappear.

“He said thank you.” I said. Michael looked at me but didn’t say anything, “there was nothing to

thank.” I sighed and closed my eyes letting my head lean against the window. I was too tired to

hold it up.

“There are just something’s you can’t change.” Michael said. I could have changed this.

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