74 V I S I T E B O N Y . C O M / M A Y 2 0 1 3

L I V E Entrertaining

I l l u s t r a t i o n b y A N D Y F R I E D M A N

LOCATION, LOCATION“Destination weddings give you the

fl exibility to be more casual. So if you’re going to a wedding on the beach, don’t wear a stiletto heel.

You want to be in a fl at or a wedge,” says Tod Hallman, fashion stylist and blogger. “For men, this gives

you an opportunity to have a more relaxed dress look. Linen can

work. And khaki is great for destination weddings.”

SAY YES TO THE (APPROPRIATE) DRESS

“Be very conscious of the location,” says Hallman. “I recently

went to a wedding that was semi-formal/cocktail, but it was on a big estate. It was outside and had a casual feel to it but was still very

dressy. Guys should always consider wearing a tie. .Defi nitely

.stay away from denim!.” Black tie normally means that

men wear tuxedos or fancy suits, women wear cocktail, long dresses or dressy evening separates; for a daytime wedding, the general rule is to wear what you might put on to go to church but in dressier fabrics. Chiff on and silk materials with fun

necklines work well for women. Men might want to wear nice

slacks and dressy shirts. Whatever you do, ladies, stay

away from white!

PHOTOGRAPHY

GENERAL GUEST ETIQUETTE FASHION

RSVP, PRETTY PLEASE!“If you’re not going to the wedding, you should still respond. I’ve talked

to several people who said, ‘Oh, I wasn’t going to go, so I decided not

to respond.’ But it’s so important for you to let them know whether you’re going. A nonresponse is not a response,” says etiquette

expert Elaine Swann.

THE BIG DAY

CHICKEN OR STEAK?“Sometimes you may fi nd you

can’t eat or don’t like [the food], says wedding planner Gail

Johnson about swapping a dish at the last minute. “You may have

to wait a little bit, but they can typically work it out.”

SHOW TIME“The rule is, .30 minutes before

.the wedding. is when guests should arrive,” Johnson says.

TOAST, DON’T ROAST“If you do decide to partake in toasting, there should be

.no mention of past relationships and horrible exes.,” says Swann. “You don’t want to reveal anything about the person’s past that might be off ensive. Also, keep it short, sweet and to the point; your speech should be no more than one to two minutes.” Need help fi guring out what to

say? Head to weddingtoasts.com and order a copy of former speechwriter Tom Haibeck’s book

Wedding Toasts Made Easy.

MONEY, MONEY, MONEY, MONEY!

“You can tell how much you’re going to spend for a gift based on the registry itself. So gauge your

spending.” Swann says. “Also, you have up to a year to purchase a

gift for a newlywed.” For low-cost gift ideas, go DIY and make a CD for the couple

who loves to roadtrip, a book of historical love poems for the intellectuals or a throwback

picture in a nice frame for your old college roommate.

TRAVEL

HAVE INVITE, WILL TRAVEL

“Typically, .a destination wedding is going to cost a guest around $1,500.. For a lot of couples, just the guest’s presence is enough,”

says Jacqueline Blount, vice presi-dent and co-owner of Uniglobe

Travel Designers, which is based in Columbus, Ohio. “But we always recommend that you at least bring

a card. If you do want to get a gift, get a smaller one costing

around $35 to $65.”

BALL ON A BUDGET“Get on a payment plan with the couple’s travel agent.

Put a couple hundred dollars down every month, just to make it more aff ordable,” Blount says. “But if you can’t aff ord it, the couple will understand. Don’t RSVP that

you’re coming and decide a week before that you’re not going to be able to make it.”

THE INVITES, SAVE-THE-DATES AND NEW-AGE WEDDING APPS STARTED COMING AS EARLY AS JANUARY. NOW, IT’S TIME TO GET YOUR WEDDING GUEST ETIQUETTE IN ORDER. EBONY TACKLES ALL YOUR QUERIES IN OUR ULTIMATE WEDDING (GUEST) GUIDE! B y K E L L E Y L . C A R T E R

Here Comes the Guest

POSTPONE POSTING“Social media has defi nitely

changed the way we interact. .It’s important for guests to

.remember that there is a hired .photographer. at the event

to capture the moments and to document the day, so just be

present for the bride and groom as opposed to being involved with

social media,” Knowles says.

POSE LIKE A PRO“When you’re taking photos, learn your angles, what pose looks best

and always do that when you’re snapping shots with the bride

and groom,” says wedding photographer Amber Knowles. “And .remember, it’s not your

day.; you want to make the bride and the groom look the best.”