Welcome to the Bottom: Welcome to the Bottom: Going Down in FlamesGoing Down in Flames

FeracoFeraco

Search for Human PotentialSearch for Human Potential

18 October 201018 October 2010

Walking the PathWalking the Path In “Gotama,” the chapter’s first encounter In “Gotama,” the chapter’s first encounter

sets the tonesets the tone Govinda wants to hear the woman talk Govinda wants to hear the woman talk

more about Gotama (as though he could more about Gotama (as though he could gain something by listening to someone gain something by listening to someone else talk!), while Siddhartha just wants to else talk!), while Siddhartha just wants to move along…only for both to discover that move along…only for both to discover that the path to Gotama is being walked by the path to Gotama is being walked by many others!many others!

It’s therefore not surprising that It’s therefore not surprising that Siddhartha ultimately finds a way to resist Siddhartha ultimately finds a way to resist continuing with Gotama once they meet continuing with Gotama once they meet him, nor that Govinda proves to be an him, nor that Govinda proves to be an eager followereager follower

No Transfer, No SatisfactionNo Transfer, No Satisfaction Still, Siddhartha is impressed by himStill, Siddhartha is impressed by him

It’s the first time Siddhartha’s met a man who’s It’s the first time Siddhartha’s met a man who’s achieved what he aims to achieveachieved what he aims to achieve

It’s not that he doesn’t believe in what Gotama It’s not that he doesn’t believe in what Gotama says (although he does point out the loophole), says (although he does point out the loophole), but that Gotama cannot possibly but that Gotama cannot possibly transfertransfer the the understanding he reached under the bo tree – the understanding he reached under the bo tree – the “secret of what the Illustrious One himself “secret of what the Illustrious One himself experienced – he alone among hundreds of experienced – he alone among hundreds of thousands”thousands”

Siddhartha believes that no doctrine can exceed Siddhartha believes that no doctrine can exceed Gotama’s, and since Gotama’s teachings proved Gotama’s, and since Gotama’s teachings proved insufficient for him, it stands to reason that no insufficient for him, it stands to reason that no teachings will suffice: “No other teachings will teachings will suffice: “No other teachings will attract me, since this man’s teachings have not attract me, since this man’s teachings have not done so”done so”

Siddhartha and Govinda are two sides of the Siddhartha and Govinda are two sides of the same coin, but their opposite approaches will same coin, but their opposite approaches will pull them apart herepull them apart here

Renouncing ConnectionRenouncing Connection When Govinda chooses to follow the When Govinda chooses to follow the

Buddha, he renounces human connectionsBuddha, he renounces human connections This is something Gotama preaches, but This is something Gotama preaches, but

something Siddhartha insists at the end of the something Siddhartha insists at the end of the book is inconsistent with how the Buddha lives book is inconsistent with how the Buddha lives his lifehis life

Notably, he doesn’t realize that he’s doing Notably, he doesn’t realize that he’s doing so, that his decision will cost him his so, that his decision will cost him his companion, but that’s partly a reflection companion, but that’s partly a reflection of Govinda’s approach: follow others in of Govinda’s approach: follow others in search of understanding without search of understanding without bothering to check for understanding firstbothering to check for understanding first

Instead, he follows others until Instead, he follows others until someone/something else convinces him to someone/something else convinces him to follow it insteadfollow it instead

The Shadow of Greater MenThe Shadow of Greater Men Had he done so, not only would he have realized Had he done so, not only would he have realized

the cost of his choice, but he’d have heard the cost of his choice, but he’d have heard Gotama say this: “The teaching which you have Gotama say this: “The teaching which you have heard, however, is not my opinion, and its goal is heard, however, is not my opinion, and its goal is not to explain the world to those who are thirsty not to explain the world to those who are thirsty for knowledge.”for knowledge.”

There’s nothing remarkable about his approach – There’s nothing remarkable about his approach – indeed, it’s how most people approach their lives indeed, it’s how most people approach their lives – but such an approach ultimately won’t work for – but such an approach ultimately won’t work for him, nor does it for Siddharthahim, nor does it for Siddhartha

Notice that Govinda Notice that Govinda doesdoes make decisions – it’s make decisions – it’s just that his decisions make him more passive just that his decisions make him more passive rather than active…he is, as Siddhartha describes rather than active…he is, as Siddhartha describes him, an excellent shadow for greater menhim, an excellent shadow for greater men

Cleverness vs. WisdomCleverness vs. Wisdom Cleverness implies intelligence for gain, Cleverness implies intelligence for gain,

particularly immediate gainparticularly immediate gain You’re clever when you can trick someone into You’re clever when you can trick someone into

doing your bidding, for example, or puzzle your doing your bidding, for example, or puzzle your way out of a difficult situationway out of a difficult situation

Connotatively, wisdom is more placid, peaceful, Connotatively, wisdom is more placid, peaceful, and unfocused on gain – it’s meant to be shared and unfocused on gain – it’s meant to be shared (if not transferred…if that makes any sense)(if not transferred…if that makes any sense) It requires a wide, long-term, all-encompassing It requires a wide, long-term, all-encompassing

perspective hereperspective here The Buddha warns Siddhartha to “be on…guard The Buddha warns Siddhartha to “be on…guard

against too much cleverness,” but Siddhartha against too much cleverness,” but Siddhartha doesn’t heed his advicedoesn’t heed his advice His view of the people is the town bears the mark of a His view of the people is the town bears the mark of a

man who considers himself cleverer, if not wiser, than man who considers himself cleverer, if not wiser, than all othersall others

Thus Siddhartha leaves the grove, ready for his Thus Siddhartha leaves the grove, ready for his awakeningawakening

Out of the GroveOut of the Grove ““Awakening” finds Siddhartha leaving the Jetavana Awakening” finds Siddhartha leaving the Jetavana

grove (a special sort of mini-forest, a cultivated grove (a special sort of mini-forest, a cultivated wilderness) and initially intending to head back to the wilderness) and initially intending to head back to the forest, only to realize mid-chapter that he cannot go forest, only to realize mid-chapter that he cannot go homehome He is no longer the person he was when he left, and He is no longer the person he was when he left, and

nothing waits for him at the other end of that pathnothing waits for him at the other end of that path Indeed, Siddhartha realizes that “he [is] no longer a Indeed, Siddhartha realizes that “he [is] no longer a

youth; he [is] a man. He realize[s] that something youth; he [is] a man. He realize[s] that something ha[s] left him, like the old skin that a snake sheds. ha[s] left him, like the old skin that a snake sheds. Something [is] no longer in him, something that had Something [is] no longer in him, something that had accompanied him right through his youth and was accompanied him right through his youth and was part of him: this was the desire to have teachers and part of him: this was the desire to have teachers and to listen to their teachings.”to listen to their teachings.”

Next, he decides, “I am no longer what I was, I am no Next, he decides, “I am no longer what I was, I am no longer an ascetic, no longer a priest, no longer a longer an ascetic, no longer a priest, no longer a Brahmin. What then shall I do at home with my Brahmin. What then shall I do at home with my father? Study? Offer sacrifices? Practice meditation? father? Study? Offer sacrifices? Practice meditation? All this is over for me now.”All this is over for me now.”

To Study the SelfTo Study the Self He realizes that his attempts to destroy He realizes that his attempts to destroy

the Self stemmed from his fear and the Self stemmed from his fear and misunderstanding of it, and that said misunderstanding of it, and that said attempts had left him further from attempts had left him further from enlightenment rather than closerenlightenment rather than closer

He decides that he is separate and He decides that he is separate and different from everyone else, and that he different from everyone else, and that he must no longer try to escape from himselfmust no longer try to escape from himself

Intending to learn how to understand Intending to learn how to understand himself better, he decides to leave the himself better, he decides to leave the natural/semi-cultivated world behind in natural/semi-cultivated world behind in favor of something new – which, as it so favor of something new – which, as it so happens, is the town across the riverhappens, is the town across the river

Seeing Beauty for the First TimeSeeing Beauty for the First Time ““Kamala” begins with Siddhartha heading for the river, Kamala” begins with Siddhartha heading for the river,

marveling at the sight of the very things which had always marveling at the sight of the very things which had always lain within his vision yet never been seen for what they lain within his vision yet never been seen for what they werewere

He resolves to see the beauty in things, and to gain He resolves to see the beauty in things, and to gain experience for himselfexperience for himself Now that he has forsaken teachings, it’s the only kind of Now that he has forsaken teachings, it’s the only kind of

educator he can tolerateeducator he can tolerate ““Both thought and senses were fine things, behind both of Both thought and senses were fine things, behind both of

them lay hidden the last meaning; it was worthwhile them lay hidden the last meaning; it was worthwhile listening to them both, to play with both, neither to listening to them both, to play with both, neither to despise nor overrate either of them, but to listen intently despise nor overrate either of them, but to listen intently to both voices. He would only strive after whatever the to both voices. He would only strive after whatever the inward voice commanded him, not tarry anywhere but inward voice commanded him, not tarry anywhere but where the voice advised him…To obey no other external where the voice advised him…To obey no other external command, only the voice, to be prepared – that was good, command, only the voice, to be prepared – that was good, that was necessary. Nothing else was necessary.”that was necessary. Nothing else was necessary.”

Be careful! To follow the inner voice is good…as long as Be careful! To follow the inner voice is good…as long as your inner voice doesn’t betray youyour inner voice doesn’t betray you Siddhartha’s has been good to himSiddhartha’s has been good to him

Blindly BlindedBlindly Blinded Notice he controls himself when he meets Notice he controls himself when he meets

the River Girlthe River Girl If Kamala symbolizes desire and passion, If Kamala symbolizes desire and passion,

she does so while mixed with intelligenceshe does so while mixed with intelligence The River Girl, on the other hand, The River Girl, on the other hand,

represents wanton lust – unfocused fire represents wanton lust – unfocused fire that’s only enjoyable in the here and now, that’s only enjoyable in the here and now, the ultimate form of suffering-causing the ultimate form of suffering-causing desiredesire

One cannot live as children do and hope to One cannot live as children do and hope to reach enlightenment; one cannot follow reach enlightenment; one cannot follow one’s impulses blindly and not be blinded one’s impulses blindly and not be blinded by themby them

Kiss and ControlKiss and Control Thus Siddhartha sizes up the River Girl and Thus Siddhartha sizes up the River Girl and

quickly casts her aside, choosing to pursue quickly casts her aside, choosing to pursue Kamala (the adult version of desire and passion: Kamala (the adult version of desire and passion: controlled, thoughtful, studied, and technical) controlled, thoughtful, studied, and technical) insteadinstead

He can resist desire, but decides to become its He can resist desire, but decides to become its student insteadstudent instead

Kamala isn’t a prostitute – really, there’s nothing Kamala isn’t a prostitute – really, there’s nothing in Western culture that’s analogous to the in Western culture that’s analogous to the powerful, respected role she plays here – but she powerful, respected role she plays here – but she represents a central problem: the conflation of represents a central problem: the conflation of desire with lovedesire with love

As we discussed early, desire is one of love’s As we discussed early, desire is one of love’s components, but it’s not an adequate substitutecomponents, but it’s not an adequate substitute

Kamala herself bears this out, as she forms an Kamala herself bears this out, as she forms an emotional bond with Siddhartha (albeit one emotional bond with Siddhartha (albeit one that’s insufficiently reciprocated)that’s insufficiently reciprocated)

Within the StoneWithin the Stone Kamala’s also noteworthy because she Kamala’s also noteworthy because she

essentially goes toe-to-toe with Siddhartha in essentially goes toe-to-toe with Siddhartha in their initial conversation; few others hold their initial conversation; few others hold themselves as Siddhartha’s equal, and this themselves as Siddhartha’s equal, and this piques his interestpiques his interest

Soon, he’s switching around his identity – his Soon, he’s switching around his identity – his hair, his clothes, etc. – and she’s intrigued not hair, his clothes, etc. – and she’s intrigued not just by his single-mindedness, but by his ability just by his single-mindedness, but by his ability to read and write (marketable skills in the town)to read and write (marketable skills in the town)

Success is within Siddhartha’s grasp, as shown Success is within Siddhartha’s grasp, as shown by the kiss Kamala gives himby the kiss Kamala gives him

Now he just needs to take it, and he tells her he Now he just needs to take it, and he tells her he intends to in his “stone through the water” intends to in his “stone through the water” speech; he’s essentially made his own luck thus speech; he’s essentially made his own luck thus far because he knows how to “think, wait, and far because he knows how to “think, wait, and fast” (the three skills he’ll forget by the time he fast” (the three skills he’ll forget by the time he reaches middle age)reaches middle age)

An Incomplete ThingAn Incomplete Thing The kiss Kamala gives transmits pleasure, but not The kiss Kamala gives transmits pleasure, but not

love; it’s an incomplete thinglove; it’s an incomplete thing As Kamala says, her kiss is “the reason [she is] not As Kamala says, her kiss is “the reason [she is] not

lacking in clothes, shoes, bangles, and other pretty lacking in clothes, shoes, bangles, and other pretty things”: she’s mastered one aspect of the material things”: she’s mastered one aspect of the material world, and in return she’s been granted access to the world, and in return she’s been granted access to the rest of itrest of it

It’s the immaterial world that poses the challenge – a It’s the immaterial world that poses the challenge – a challenge that Kamala ultimately proves she isn’t challenge that Kamala ultimately proves she isn’t ready to handleready to handle

Right now, Siddhartha just needs to master the Right now, Siddhartha just needs to master the material world to win her heart – and for that, he’ll material world to win her heart – and for that, he’ll have Kamaswamihave Kamaswami

““Soon I will be a merchant and have money and all Soon I will be a merchant and have money and all those things which you value…May my glance always those things which you value…May my glance always please you, may good fortune always come to me please you, may good fortune always come to me from you!”from you!”

The Nurse and MidwifeThe Nurse and Midwife The Govinda dream marks the way everything The Govinda dream marks the way everything

Siddhartha has ever known has already subtly Siddhartha has ever known has already subtly begun changingbegun changing

He’s no longer as opposed to the sensory world He’s no longer as opposed to the sensory world (maya! desire!) as he once was, although he’s a (maya! desire!) as he once was, although he’s a long way from losing himself in itlong way from losing himself in it

Here, as elsewhere, there’s a rudimentary Here, as elsewhere, there’s a rudimentary recognition of the interconnectedness of recognition of the interconnectedness of everything – “it tasted of woman and man, of sun everything – “it tasted of woman and man, of sun and forest, of animal and flower, of every fruit, of and forest, of animal and flower, of every fruit, of every pleasure”every pleasure”

As for why it’s Govinda in the dream (besides the As for why it’s Govinda in the dream (besides the fact that he’s the most powerful figure in fact that he’s the most powerful figure in Siddhartha’s life), there’s a foreshadowing Siddhartha’s life), there’s a foreshadowing justification justification

Siddhartha will “nurse” Govinda’s quest for Siddhartha will “nurse” Govinda’s quest for enlightenment someday, just as Govinda will enlightenment someday, just as Govinda will midwife his rebirth in “By the River”midwife his rebirth in “By the River”

The First AppearanceThe First Appearance Another important character, Vasudeva, first Another important character, Vasudeva, first

appears here as well, although he’s four chapters appears here as well, although he’s four chapters away from receiving a nameaway from receiving a name

He hints that one can learn everything by He hints that one can learn everything by studying the river, and tells Siddhartha that studying the river, and tells Siddhartha that “everything comes back. You, too, will come “everything comes back. You, too, will come back.”back.”

Siddhartha fundamentally misjudges Vasudeva Siddhartha fundamentally misjudges Vasudeva when he compares him to Govinda, and in turn all when he compares him to Govinda, and in turn all of the others: “All are subservient, all wish to be of the others: “All are subservient, all wish to be my friend, to obey and to think little. People are my friend, to obey and to think little. People are children.”children.”

It’s one of the most egregious misreads he could It’s one of the most egregious misreads he could have possibly made, and it conveniently indicates have possibly made, and it conveniently indicates just how little Siddhartha really understands at just how little Siddhartha really understands at this point of his lifethis point of his life

Without PossessionsWithout Possessions ““Amongst the People” is ironically named: Amongst the People” is ironically named:

Siddhartha Siddhartha isis among them, but he never allows among them, but he never allows himself to be part of them (even as he himself to be part of them (even as he increasingly becomes one of them, he remains increasingly becomes one of them, he remains steadfastly in denial)steadfastly in denial)

It begins with a description of Kamaswami that It begins with a description of Kamaswami that fits well with what Kamala has said about him: fits well with what Kamala has said about him: he’s the picture of decaying wealth, graying hair he’s the picture of decaying wealth, graying hair paired with clever eyespaired with clever eyes

He’s confused by Siddhartha’s statement about He’s confused by Siddhartha’s statement about not being in need; as a creature of desire, not being in need; as a creature of desire, Kamaswami literally cannot comprehend such a Kamaswami literally cannot comprehend such a thingthing

““How will you live if you are without How will you live if you are without possessions?”possessions?”

The Language of ExchangeThe Language of Exchange This gives Kamaswami and Siddhartha the This gives Kamaswami and Siddhartha the

chance to learn about one another via a dialogue chance to learn about one another via a dialogue about the giving and taking that’s omnipresent in about the giving and taking that’s omnipresent in human lifehuman life

Once again, Kamaswami cannot understand how Once again, Kamaswami cannot understand how Siddhartha lives as he does, for he doesn’t Siddhartha lives as he does, for he doesn’t believe Siddhartha has anything to offer if he can believe Siddhartha has anything to offer if he can only use his skills (rather than possessions) in an only use his skills (rather than possessions) in an exchangeexchange

The language of exchange is really the only The language of exchange is really the only language Kamaswami speakslanguage Kamaswami speaks

Once Siddhartha convinces him that his skills Once Siddhartha convinces him that his skills areare useful in an exchange, Kamaswami respects him useful in an exchange, Kamaswami respects him – particularly once he learns Siddhartha can write– particularly once he learns Siddhartha can write

What You Say, How You Say ItWhat You Say, How You Say It Both Both whatwhat Siddhartha writes and Siddhartha writes and thatthat Siddhartha writes prove Siddhartha writes prove

importantimportant His saying – “Writing is good, thinking is better. Cleverness is His saying – “Writing is good, thinking is better. Cleverness is

good, patience is better” – has poignancy when we consider good, patience is better” – has poignancy when we consider where he ends up, trapped by his own “cleverness” and attention where he ends up, trapped by his own “cleverness” and attention to the bottom lineto the bottom line

Moreover, the fact that Siddhartha can read, write, and speak is Moreover, the fact that Siddhartha can read, write, and speak is veryvery noteworthy noteworthy

Once we acquire language, we lose the ability to think without Once we acquire language, we lose the ability to think without words – to come up with thoughts that no words can describewords – to come up with thoughts that no words can describe

Indeed, our thoughts express themselves in sensory termsIndeed, our thoughts express themselves in sensory terms Thus our thoughts become part of our reality, and our command Thus our thoughts become part of our reality, and our command

of language therefore dictates the depth of the reality we of language therefore dictates the depth of the reality we perceive (maya!)perceive (maya!)

Kamala’s reality is therefore incomplete – she cannot read or Kamala’s reality is therefore incomplete – she cannot read or write, and by lacking language, she lacks connection to the write, and by lacking language, she lacks connection to the world…she lacks realityworld…she lacks reality

The less you understand about the veil, the harder it proves to The less you understand about the veil, the harder it proves to piercepierce

This is why Siddhartha chooses to study the Self rather than hide This is why Siddhartha chooses to study the Self rather than hide from it, and why our bodhisattvas finally reach enlightenmentfrom it, and why our bodhisattvas finally reach enlightenment

Profit and LossProfit and Loss Once Siddhartha is accepted into Once Siddhartha is accepted into

Kamaswami’s service, he retains some of Kamaswami’s service, he retains some of his old habits; he doesn’t become entirely his old habits; he doesn’t become entirely like the man for another chapter/decade like the man for another chapter/decade or soor so

““Kamaswami conducted his business with Kamaswami conducted his business with care and often with passion, but care and often with passion, but Siddhartha regarded it all as a game, the Siddhartha regarded it all as a game, the rules of which he endeavored to learn rules of which he endeavored to learn well, but did not stir his heart.”well, but did not stir his heart.”

His approach to business frustrates and His approach to business frustrates and even infuriates the old merchant, for the even infuriates the old merchant, for the younger man’s lackadaisical approach to younger man’s lackadaisical approach to profit and loss increases the elder man’s profit and loss increases the elder man’s riskrisk

Something SeparateSomething Separate Siddhartha, on the other hand, seems Siddhartha, on the other hand, seems

interested in making human connections – interested in making human connections – a noble (and, for Kamaswami, novel) a noble (and, for Kamaswami, novel) sentiment, but one we quickly see isn’t sentiment, but one we quickly see isn’t entirely accurateentirely accurate

““Siddhartha’s sympathy and curiosity lay Siddhartha’s sympathy and curiosity lay only with people, whose work, troubles, only with people, whose work, troubles, pleasures, and follies were more unknown pleasures, and follies were more unknown and remote from him than the moon. and remote from him than the moon. Although he found it so easy to speak to Although he found it so easy to speak to everyone, to live with everyone, to learn everyone, to live with everyone, to learn from everyone, he was very conscious of from everyone, he was very conscious of the fact that there was something which the fact that there was something which separated him from them…”separated him from them…”

Weary and RegretfulWeary and Regretful However, he increasingly devotes himself to Kamala, which However, he increasingly devotes himself to Kamala, which

is in keeping with his single-minded approach to his is in keeping with his single-minded approach to his pursuitspursuits He even convinces himself that Kamala understands him better He even convinces himself that Kamala understands him better

than Govinda didthan Govinda did ““He spent wonderful hours with the clever, beautiful He spent wonderful hours with the clever, beautiful

courtesan and became her pupil, her lover, her friend. Here courtesan and became her pupil, her lover, her friend. Here with Kamala lay the value and meaning of his present life, with Kamala lay the value and meaning of his present life, not in Kamaswami’s business.”not in Kamaswami’s business.”

In other words, the embodiment of desire understands him In other words, the embodiment of desire understands him better than the searcherbetter than the searcher

His conversation with her about leaves and stars is sad, in His conversation with her about leaves and stars is sad, in a waya way

Even though Hesse only says it outright at the end, the Even though Hesse only says it outright at the end, the tone of Siddhartha’s dialogue is weary and regretful, the tone of Siddhartha’s dialogue is weary and regretful, the pitch of a man who knows he’s letting his life slip away yet pitch of a man who knows he’s letting his life slip away yet refuses to stop itrefuses to stop it

The seeds of Siddhartha’s fall are sown hereThe seeds of Siddhartha’s fall are sown here

Nothing to Do With His LifeNothing to Do With His Life “…“…He occupied his thoughts with all this game and the passion He occupied his thoughts with all this game and the passion

with which all men play it, as much as he had previously occupied with which all men play it, as much as he had previously occupied his thoughts with the gods and Brahman. At times he heard within his thoughts with the gods and Brahman. At times he heard within him a soft, gentle voice, which reminded him quietly, complained him a soft, gentle voice, which reminded him quietly, complained quietly, so that he could hardly hear it. Then he suddenly saw quietly, so that he could hardly hear it. Then he suddenly saw clearly that he was leading a strange life, that he was doing many clearly that he was leading a strange life, that he was doing many thing that were only a game, that he was quite cheerful and thing that were only a game, that he was quite cheerful and sometimes experienced pleasure, but that real life was flowing sometimes experienced pleasure, but that real life was flowing past him and did not touch him. Like a player who plays with his past him and did not touch him. Like a player who plays with his ball, he played with his business, with the people around him, ball, he played with his business, with the people around him, watched them, derived amusement from them; but with his heart, watched them, derived amusement from them; but with his heart, with his real nature, he was not there. His real self wandered with his real nature, he was not there. His real self wandered elsewhere, far away, wandered on and on invisibly and had elsewhere, far away, wandered on and on invisibly and had nothing to do with his life. He was sometimes afraid of these nothing to do with his life. He was sometimes afraid of these thoughts and wished that he could also share their childish daily thoughts and wished that he could also share their childish daily affairs with intensity, truly to take part in them, to enjoy and live affairs with intensity, truly to take part in them, to enjoy and live their lives instead of only being there as an onlooker.”their lives instead of only being there as an onlooker.”

There’s a reason he ends the chapter by confessing he cannot There’s a reason he ends the chapter by confessing he cannot love: “Ordinary people can – that is their secret.”love: “Ordinary people can – that is their secret.”

Rather than becoming extraordinary, Siddhartha finds himself Rather than becoming extraordinary, Siddhartha finds himself envious of the aggressively ordinaryenvious of the aggressively ordinary

The Center Cannot HoldThe Center Cannot Hold In “Samsara,” everything falls apart: the center In “Samsara,” everything falls apart: the center

cannot holdcannot hold Everyone has grown miserable, shallow, and Everyone has grown miserable, shallow, and

exhausted by the book’s midpointexhausted by the book’s midpoint The years pass without Siddhartha noticing, his The years pass without Siddhartha noticing, his

senses and perceptions grow muted, and he lacks senses and perceptions grow muted, and he lacks real human connections: Kamala is his only friendreal human connections: Kamala is his only friend

He remembers some of what he learned as a youth, He remembers some of what he learned as a youth, but much of it has fallen away, much as an but much of it has fallen away, much as an abandoned bicycle rusts past the point of abandoned bicycle rusts past the point of usefulness; decades have passed since his usefulness; decades have passed since his “awakening,” and he’s made no progress in “awakening,” and he’s made no progress in virtually every way that mattersvirtually every way that matters

Siddhartha’s soul grows weary and numb, while his Siddhartha’s soul grows weary and numb, while his senses dominate his actions; he’s learned the ways senses dominate his actions; he’s learned the ways of the world, a world he never had to grapple with of the world, a world he never had to grapple with while living in his forest villagewhile living in his forest village

Addicted to Vice and BurdenAddicted to Vice and Burden Hesse hammers Siddhartha’s decline home with blunt, Hesse hammers Siddhartha’s decline home with blunt,

brutal efficiency; whereas “Amongst the People” brutal efficiency; whereas “Amongst the People” merely hinted that Siddhartha had lost his way, merely hinted that Siddhartha had lost his way, “Samsara” shows just how meaningless his existence “Samsara” shows just how meaningless his existence has becomehas become

He’s addicted to vice, he’s burdened by things that He’s addicted to vice, he’s burdened by things that don’t even interest him, he’s silenced his inner voice, don’t even interest him, he’s silenced his inner voice, he veers between feeling sick and feeling nothing he veers between feeling sick and feeling nothing with little adrenal spikes in between – “his heart full with little adrenal spikes in between – “his heart full of misery and secret fear” – and he’s no longer kind of misery and secret fear” – and he’s no longer kind to strangers, no longer willing to reflect on himself…to strangers, no longer willing to reflect on himself…nothing worksnothing works

He’s not trying to pierce the veil; how can he when He’s not trying to pierce the veil; how can he when he’s scared to look in the mirror?he’s scared to look in the mirror?

He still clings to the last vestiges of his old life – his He still clings to the last vestiges of his old life – his misplaced sense of superiority, his disdain for misplaced sense of superiority, his disdain for possessions – but he’s thoroughly disgusted with possessions – but he’s thoroughly disgusted with himself, wishing he could purge himself and himself, wishing he could purge himself and completely clueless as to how he cancompletely clueless as to how he can

Under the Tree, the End of the LineUnder the Tree, the End of the Line When the Songbird Dream happens, Siddhartha’s “misery When the Songbird Dream happens, Siddhartha’s “misery

and secret fear” – that he’s wasted a shot at a brilliant and secret fear” – that he’s wasted a shot at a brilliant existence – has a metaphorical outletexistence – has a metaphorical outlet

Siddhartha’s potential, the best part of his soul, has been Siddhartha’s potential, the best part of his soul, has been snuffed out; just as the little golden bird lies dead in its snuffed out; just as the little golden bird lies dead in its cage, Siddhartha’s blackened heart lies, choked out and cage, Siddhartha’s blackened heart lies, choked out and still, within his ribcagestill, within his ribcage

““When had he really been happy? When had he really When had he really been happy? When had he really experienced joy?...He had felt in his heart: “A path lies experienced joy?...He had felt in his heart: “A path lies before you which you are called to follow.”…How long was before you which you are called to follow.”…How long was it now since he had heard this voice, since he had soared it now since he had heard this voice, since he had soared to any heights? How flat and desolate his path had been! to any heights? How flat and desolate his path had been! How many long years he had spent without any lofty goal, How many long years he had spent without any lofty goal, without any thirst, without any exaltation, content with without any thirst, without any exaltation, content with small pleasures and yet never really satisfied!”small pleasures and yet never really satisfied!”

He feels himself die in this moment, the moment he He feels himself die in this moment, the moment he realizes that he and Kamala are simply clinging to each realizes that he and Kamala are simply clinging to each other as they plummet towards the bottomother as they plummet towards the bottom

He sits under his tree, as Gotama once did, and rather than He sits under his tree, as Gotama once did, and rather than reach enlightenment, Siddhartha simply gives up and reach enlightenment, Siddhartha simply gives up and leavesleaves

Lonely, Untethered, and MiserableLonely, Untethered, and Miserable

When he does, Kamala does not follow When he does, Kamala does not follow him; she understands that he never cared him; she understands that he never cared for her the way she cared for him, and for her the way she cared for him, and that image of her clutching him during that image of her clutching him during their final encounter is almost unbearably their final encounter is almost unbearably sadsad

That’s the most incredible thing about this That’s the most incredible thing about this chapter: it makes you feel completely chapter: it makes you feel completely lonely and miserablelonely and miserable It makes you want to go find someone and hug It makes you want to go find someone and hug

them!them! It’s a structural trick that reinforces one It’s a structural trick that reinforces one

of Hesse’s pet themes: we all need of Hesse’s pet themes: we all need someone, for a life without connection is someone, for a life without connection is one that’s untethered from the larger one that’s untethered from the larger world and universeworld and universe

The Fusion of Life and LossThe Fusion of Life and Loss She’ll eventually follow up on her stated desire to follow She’ll eventually follow up on her stated desire to follow

Gotama, but it will cost her dearlyGotama, but it will cost her dearly Kamala tends to get the short shrift from a lot of readers, Kamala tends to get the short shrift from a lot of readers,

but she’s one of my favorite characters; she’s trapped by but she’s one of my favorite characters; she’s trapped by who she is, but her eyes are straining towards what she who she is, but her eyes are straining towards what she wants to become, and I have a soft spot for people who wants to become, and I have a soft spot for people who yearn to be something more than they already areyearn to be something more than they already are

““Samsara” thus ends on a weird note, a fusion of life and Samsara” thus ends on a weird note, a fusion of life and loss that’s perfectly in keeping with its focus on cycles and loss that’s perfectly in keeping with its focus on cycles and the dualistic nature of existence (if you want to have fun, the dualistic nature of existence (if you want to have fun, re-read the book and look for all of the pairings and re-read the book and look for all of the pairings and binaries!): Kamala lets the songbird fly away before she binaries!): Kamala lets the songbird fly away before she discovers her pregnancy, closing her door to all visitors discovers her pregnancy, closing her door to all visitors and living aloneand living alone

For all intents and purposes, her old life – and Siddhartha’s For all intents and purposes, her old life – and Siddhartha’s old life – ends hereold life – ends here

Everything Starts…Everything Starts… There’s more to come tomorrow, in There’s more to come tomorrow, in

“Everything Starts Where It Ends”“Everything Starts Where It Ends”