what 3 wishes would you make? happiness and all- track .../67531/metadc974459/m2/1/high_res_d... ·...
TRANSCRIPT
Are You on the Happiness Track? Would You Like to Be?
Imagine that a Genie appears in front of you and grants you three wishes.
What 3 wishes would you make?
Before making your wishes, assume that the Genie is all-knowing and all-powerful, and will grant any wish you make. So don’t limit yourself in any way.
From Raj Raghunathan, If You’re So Smart, Why Aren’t You Happy?
By the end of today’s presentation you should…
Be able to summarize some of the key points of research on happiness
Identify several techniques to apply to your personal and/or professional life
Back to the question about the genie and the 3 wishes… What did you wish for?
Success and Happiness
Misconceptions
Success=happiness
Have to sacrifice present happiness
Never stop accomplishing
Stress necessary for success
Focus on your niche
Play to your strengths
Look out for number 1
Happiness=pleasure*
Realities
Happiness is a precursor to success
Happy people learn faster, think more creatively and resolve challenges
Happy people have emotional balance/resiliency
Happiness helps strengthen relationships/connection
Negative mental chatter
Unhappy Results
58% of Americans claim their stress is rising
Anxiety is the leading cause for mental health treatment in the U.S. Use of antidepressants among Americans has risen by 400 percent in the last decade
50 percent of employees are unengaged
20 percent of employees are actively disengaged
From Emma Seppala ,The Happiness Track: Applying the Science of Happiness to Accelerate Your Sucess
Martin Seligman, Authentic Happiness
“The belief that we can rely on shortcuts to happiness, joy, rapture, comfort and ecstasy, rather than be entitled to those feelings by the exercise of personal strengths and virtues, leads to legions of people who, in the middle of great wealth, are starving spiritually.”
The 7s
7 Deadly Happiness Sins
Devaluing happiness
Chasing superiority
Desperation for love
Being overly controlling
Distrusting others
Passionate/indifferent pursuit of passion
Mind addiction
7 Habits of the Highly Happy
Prioritizing-but not pursuing-happiness
Pursuing flow
The need to love (and give)
Gaining internal control
Exercising “smart trust”
Dispassionate pursuit of passion
Mindfulness
From Raj Raghunathan, If You’re So Smart, Why Aren’t You Happy?
Satisfaction with Life Scale
7 - Strongly agree 6 - Agree 5 - Slightly agree 4 - Neither agree nor disagree 3 - Slightly disagree 2 - Disagree 1 - Strongly disagree
Online: http://happysmarts.com/survery7.php
Using the scale below, record your agreement with each item. Please be open and honest in your responding. Total all numbers to find your total score.
In most ways my life is close to my ideal.
The conditions of my life are excellent.
I am satisfied with my life
So far I have gotten the important things I want in life.
If I could live my life over, I would change almost nothing.
Diener, E., Emmons, R. A., Larsen, R. J., & Griffin, S. (1985). The Satisfaction with Life Scale. Journal of Personality Assessment, 49, 71-75.
Happy People
Happy employees perform better on tasks, including those that involve leadership/creativity
Happy employees earn more
Happier (optimistic) CEOs foster more positive work climate which improves organizational productivity
Happier CEOs receive higher performance ratings from chair persons of their boards and head companies with greater return on investment
Happy people volunteer more
Happy people are more likely to judge others favorable and more willing to share their good fortune with others equitably
Happy people contribute more to charity and more likely to donate blood.
From Raj Raghunathan, If You’re So Smart, Why Aren’t You Happy?
Prioritizing-but not pursuing-happiness
Remind yourself to make happiness-enhancing decisions
Exercise: Define and incorporate happiness
The term “happiness” could be defined in many different ways, as:
Love/connection Joy
Authentic pride Hubristic pride
Harmony Abundance
Serenity Gratitude
Interest AweOnline: http://happysmarts.com/exercises1.php
From Raj Raghunathan, If You’re So Smart, Why Aren’t You Happy?
Pursuing flow
Flow=the kind of experience where you get so absorbed you lose track of time—Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
Flow enhances happiness In the moment Leads to mastery Inspires others Isn't finite or scarce
Find more flow in your life Reconnect with a hobby Nurture talents in your current job Do more of what you enjoy Consider a career shift
From Raj Raghunathan, If You’re So Smart, Why Aren’t You Happy?
Best possible life...and what to do when things aren't going well...and then when they are
Articulate your best possible life
Exhibit self-compassionNotice your self talk
Write yourself a letter
Develop a self-compassion phrase (http://bit.ly/2ivkxgL)
Express gratitudeMake a daily gratitude list
From Raj Raghunathan, If You’re So Smart, Why Aren’t You Happy? and Emma Seppala, The Happiness Track
Living in the present
Being present will make you more productive, happier and charismatic. You can nudge your mind back to the present.
Practice being consciously present
Meditate (http://bit.ly/12vPdmh)
Practice breath focus (http://bit.ly/1M9iB81)
Truly experience pleasure
Take a technology fast
Presence practice (https://happysmarts.com/exercises7.php)
From Raj Raghunathan, If You’re So Smart, Why Aren’t You Happy? and Emma Seppala, The Happiness Track
The need to love (and give)
People have an innate desire to help others
Takes focus away from ourselves
Reciprocity boosts happiness
Generosity improves health and well-being
Givers are more likely to succeed
Replenishes energy
Shows the bigger picture
Three essential rules for giving
Contain the cost of giving
Value expansion
See the impact of your giving
From Raj Raghunathan, If You’re So Smart, Why Aren’t You Happy? and Emma Seppala, The Happiness Track
Strengthening compassion
Pay full attention when others are talking
Verbalize the other’s point of view
Creative Altruism Exercise
1. Think of an idea: what will you do to bring joy, warmth or happiness to others? (Need an idea? See http://bit.ly/1XLlcpC). Write it down.
2. Come up with a plan for executing your idea.
3. Execute your plan.
*Raj’s idea: http://happysmarts.com/be-part-of the –book-chain/
*My idea*
From Raj Raghunathan, If You’re So Smart, Why Aren’t You Happy? and Emma Seppala, The Happiness Track
Being less controlling
Being in control enhances happiness BUT not being overly controlling others or outcomes
Learn to appreciate uncertainty
First get your life under control
Trade time scarcity for time affluence De-emphasize money
Help others
Experience awe
Desirability of control scale: http://happysmarts.com/survey4Maximizer/satisficer scale: http://happysmarts.com/survey3
From Raj Raghunathan, If You’re So Smart, Why Aren’t You Happy?
Gaining internal control
Our thoughts control our feelings: Change your thoughts, control your feelings
Take personal responsibility for your happiness
Choose when to exercise internal control
You can not blame others for how you feel but still hold them accountable for their actions
DON’T feel like you need to be in control in the face of terrible events
DON’T engage in self-serving biases to feel better
From Raj Raghunathan, If You’re So Smart, Why Aren’t You Happy?
Gaining internal control
DO practice emotion regulationSituation selection
Emotion labelling
Attention deployment
Cognitive reappraisal
DO lead a healthier lifestyleEat right, move more, sleep better
*Internal control exercise*
From Raj Raghunathan, If You’re So Smart, Why Aren’t You Happy?
Interpersonal Trust Scale
1=strongly disagree 4=mildly agree
2=mildly disagree 5=strongly agree
3=agree and disagree equally
Indicate the degree to which you agree or disagree with each statement using the scale below. Add all numbers to find your total score.
1. In dealing with strangers, one is better off to be cautious until they have provided evidence they are trustworthy.
2. It is safe to believe that in spite of what people say, most people are primarily interested in their own welfare.
3. In these competitive times one has to be alert or someone is likely to take advantage of you.
4. Most people can be counted on to do what they say they will do.
5. Most idealists are not sincere and do not practice what they preach.
Exercising “smart trust”
When we feel we can trust others, we are happier
In general people reciprocate trust with trustworthy behavior
And yet our default is to distrust others
Components of “smart trust”
Remind ourselves people are more trustworthy than we give them credit for
Remind ourselves of the benefits of proactive trust
Minimize pain from being cheated and maximize positivity from having our trust validated
Elicit more trustworthy behavior from others
From Raj Raghunathan, If You’re So Smart, Why Aren’t You Happy?
Practicing forgiveness
Think of someone you dislike (not hate)—person X. Imagine you were born with their genes, that you have their experiences, family, upbringing. Would you behave differently from how they behave?
From Raj Raghunathan, If You’re So Smart, Why Aren’t You Happy?
Practicing forgiveness
Exercise: Write a letter of forgiveness to someone who has hurt you.
Recall the incident and write about it. Be matter of fact, not emotional, include details of what happened, how it made you feel and why.
Write a letter and reflect on what you wrote. Elaborate on the factors that may have pressured the person to act the way they did.
Achieve closure to help you move on. Seal the letter in an envelope and burn it. As you are doing this, tell yourself, “With this act, I consider this incident closed.”
From Raj Raghunathan, If You’re So Smart, Why Aren’t You Happy?
Sustain happiness
Make a strong commitment to do on a daily basis starting today things to reinforce happiness. Dr. Raj has a list of daily questions that will help you replace happiness sins with habits: http://happysmarts.com/sup_ex5.php
Choose the contexts, environments and people you expose yourself to carefully.
Tell yourself that you are open-minded and not closed to new ways even if you feel some of these things are difficult.
Overwhelmed? Pick a few to work on for the next 30 days.
References and Further Resources
Barker, E. (2014, April 4). Happy thoughts: Here are things proven to make you happy. Time. Retrieved from http://www.time.com
Foundations of Positive Psychology Specialization. Available from http://www.courser.org/specializations/positivepsychology
A Life of Happiness and Fulfillment Course. Available from https://www.courser.org/learn/happiness
Frederickson, B. Positivity: Top-notch research reveals the upward spiral that will change your life. New York, NY: Harmony.
Harris, D. (2014). 10% happier: How I tamed the voice in my head, reduced stress without losing my edge, and found self-help that actually works-a true story. New York, NY: Dey Street Books
Lyubomirsky, S. (2014). The myths of happiness: What should make you happy but doesn’t, what shouldn’t make you happy but does. New York, NY: Penguin.
References and Further Resources
Raghunathan, R. (2016). If you’re so smart, why aren’t you happy? New York, NY: Portfolio/Pengiun. http://happysmarts.com
Rhimes, S. (2016). Year of yes: How to dance it out, stand in the sun and be your own person. New York, NY: Simon & Schuster.
Rubin, G. (2009). The happiness project: Or why I spent a year trying to sing in the morning, clean my closets, fight right, read Aristotle, and generally have more fun. New York: NY: Harper Paperbacks. http://gretchenrubin.com
Seligman, M. E. P. (2004). Authentic happiness: Using the new positive psychology to realize your potential for lasting fulfillment. New York: NY: Atria Books.
Seppala, E. (2016). The happiness track: How to apply the science of happiness to accelerate your success. New York, NY: Harper One.