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Since we survived our first year of marriage, without harm or battle, I thought I’d share what I’ve learned.

Communication is key. “Yes” is always appropriate. “Yes, dear” works well, too, but is quite dependent on tone. “I love you” is even better, and less dependent on tone. “I’ve always loved you in that bathrobe” is always a safe phrase. “Yes, dear, whatever you want, dear,” can go either way. “I’d love to take you out to dinner but …” works only once.

Cleanliness is next to godliness. Not being asked to gather up the trash works wonders. Hauling out the garbage can without being asked only needs to be done once a week, but bringing it in is important, too. Guys, pay attention. Putting down the toilet seat is huge. This act alone has saved many marriages (and toddlers).

Communication Part 2. Asking, “What do I do that annoys you?” is kind of like going to confession. Saying, “I’m sorry,” covers a multitude of sins (and is necessary for a good confession too) but it is the significant “repentance” that makes it real! This ideally involves going out for dinner. See paragraph 2.

Challenges are many during the first year. Moving two households across town, planning a wedding, meeting new relatives, looking for a new placement (job), accepting a new placement, leaving friends and familiarity behind, enduring a 3-

month root canal saga, traveling cross-country twice with broken ribs, making new friends, losing friends, breaking cars, moving again to a wonderfully new environment, and even Hurricane Matthew, is not too much to endure with God’s loving grace and a special spouse, who lets you buy model airplanes and calls it “your Christmas, anniversary and birthday present.”

Mostly what I’ve learned from this first year of marriage is that if we choose, no obstacle or challenge is too much for us to handle together, as long as we remain in partnership, and with God’s help. This actually goes back to our Baptismal Covenant wherein we promise fidelity to God and to love our neighbor. Thank you, dear St. Thomas’ family, for helping us do just that during our first year of marriage!

Fr. Bruce and Deb

What I Learned from One Year of Marriage

United & Empowered

by the Love of

Our Lord Jesus Christ

Volume 2, Issue 7

Page 2 V OLU ME 2, ISSU E 7 T HE CR OSS TI ES

IT'S OFFICIAL! The Diocese of North Carolina has been notified of the completion of the consent process, which means we are moving forward with the planning for the ordination and consecration of the Rev. Sam Rodman.

TO STAY UP TO DATE on all things related to the consecration, visit the website dedicated to the special event. We will update it as details develop, so please visit often! BISHOP-ELECT RODMAN begins his tenure as Bishop Diocesan after his consecration on July 15. He's planning to get started in North Carolina on June 1, though, spending time in the Diocese and diocesan offices getting to know staff, familiarizing himself with business and needs, and having first meetings with diocesan leadership. He's excited to have that time to help prepare for his new role, and he looks forward to July when he can officially begin engaging with and getting to know the faithful people throughout the Diocese of North Carolina.

More than forty years ago, Bob Carlson took up carving as a hobby. Bob’s good buddy and his dad used to make decoys and Bob often went to the Waterfowl Festival in Maryland. Pair those influences with an industrial arts background and Bob took to carving like “a duck to water”!!

Then Chris, his best friend and fellow carver, persuaded Bob to go to Sanibel Island, FL to take lessons from Jim Sprankle, one of the most well-known wildfowl wood sculptors in the world, and his “goose is cooked”, so to speak!

Birds of a Feather by Katie Hyer

T HE CR OSS TI ES Page 3 V OLU ME 2, ISSU E 7

Birds of a Feather... continue

From 2004-2015, Bob was a member of a group of Trace carvers who began holding workshops featuring Rich Smoker. Smoker is another living

legend in wildfowl art circles and the recipient of many national awards. Twelve to sixteen folks attended those yearly events in which partici-pants finished a duck in 4 days! Bob and Jan made many life-long friends from this group.

Bob does both “power carving” and “knife carv-ing” of all sorts of waterfowl, woodland birds,

and has even made a few turtles. Bob explained the dif-ference in these methods to me by showing me exam-ples of each in his collection. Power carving allows one to create a finely-detailed appear-ance to the feathers while knife carving creates a smoother, more rustic appear-

ance.

Bob only carves for friends and family -none of his pieces are for sale or show. Recently, he fin-ished two special projects as graduation gifts for

his granddaughters. Amanda, who was born in Ohio and is graduating from UNC Pharmacy School, received a gorgeous cardinal-state bird for both states. Emily, an Art Education major from the University of Central Florida, received a precious penguin mother and chick. I am cer-

tain these gifts will be treasured forever by these young ladies!

Perhaps these photos will entice you to stop by the Carlson house and check out his wonderful carvings for yourself!!

V OLU ME 2, ISSU E 7 Page 4 T HE CR OSS TI ES

Vestry Highlights for April Junior Warden James Jessup reported the

1st layer of security material has been installed. You will see your reflection as you approach the Gilman Room doorway; folks inside will be able to see who is at the door. The 2nd layer will be installed in a few weeks. We received a discounted price of $225.

All 3 lifts are now functioning. As they break down, we will need to use parts from one to fix the other as replacement parts are no longer available.

The Vestry retreat was a great success! Thanks to Fr. Bruce and Deb for hosting. The vestry began working on goals and

objectives under the acronym “G.R.O.W”. A new committee will be formed to help “market” the church. Deb Heyvaert has agreed to be the facilitator. More information to come!

Canon Rhonda Lee will preach on July 9th and Bishop Anne will confirm and receive on January 7, 2018.

Fr. Bruce will be away on June 11th and 18th. The Rev. Fred Thompson and the Rev. Mary Curtis will celebrate with us.

Respectfully, Katie Hyer, Vestry Clerk

WOC Meeting– May 2, 2017

Three guests joined twenty-nine parishioners at the May 2 meeting of Women of the Church for a program on scams. Following a devotion, centered on Satan and his wiles, read by Alice Anne Ford, President Cornelia Olive introduced the speaker of the day. John Bason, from the NC Department of Justice, spoke from experience and with expertise about a wide spectrum of scams currently prevalent in North Carolina. These included "the friendly man who meets a grieving widow at her husband's grave" deception, the still-continuing "grandmother" scam, the "hello " fraud, and the e-mail phoney message scheme. Best advice from Bason: if you do not recognize the telephone number when your phone rings, don't answer the call! Attendees were advised to establish contact with the three financial reporting institutions (Experion, Exquifax, and Trans-Union) and receive company-based passwords. Handouts

containing up-to-date scam information/protection were distributed. At the conclusion of the program, attendees were able to speak individually with Mr. Bason. The treasurer reported a current balance of $8,888.55 in the WOC account. The raffle gift of the day, a box of Billy Graham sympathy cards, contributed by Darlynda Patterson, was won by Frances Floyd. After a concluding prayer by Alice Anne Ford, attendees were treated to assorted desserts and coffee.

Virginia Caviness was the recipient of the 2017 Acolyte Scholarship. Virginia will be attending East Carolina University. The monies came from the Acolyte Scholarship Fund and the Women of the Church. Proud parents are Pat and Keith Caviness.

In Celebration of our Graduate

T HE CR OSS TI ES Page 5 V OLU ME 2, ISSU E 7

Page 6 T HE CR OSS TI ES V OLU ME 2, ISSU E 7

Augustine Program Wraps Up for the Year

What a wonderful year for the Augustine Literacy Project Tutors! Principal Stephanie Clark at B.T. Bullock Elementary School welcomed us in to work with 2nd graders who were struggling with reading skills. Her teachers selected 2 children per class to be paired with an Augustine Tutor. The end of grade testing at Bullock and our own Augustine assessments documented the significant improvement each student made as a result of excellent instruction given by the 2nd grade teachers and the Augustine tutors. Principal Clark was thrilled with each student's progress and she asked us to come back next year to work with more of her students. The eight Augustine Literacy tutors working with Bullock students were: Katie Hyer, Barbara Duffy, Victoria Naegele, Jane Papakadakis-Loo, Trudy Forrest, Betty Dunn, Mary Solis, and Barbara Yuskevich. There are no words to express how dedicated the Augustine tutors are to their students and how much I truly appreciate their willingness to help these special children.

Due to the request of many local agencies for literacy tutoring for adults, Lee County Literacy Council, Inc. was formed into a 501c3 organization so literacy could be offered to adults. Young adults, who recently graduated from high school and their entrance exams were too low to admit them into CCCC, can qualify for tutoring. Our goal is to improve their literacy skills to the level so that they can gain entrance into the college and further their education. Adults, working in local industry who cannot read a

computer screen and are in jeopardy of losing their job, can qualify for services. Adults on probation, who cannot fill out a job application and are at risk of returning to a life of crime can also receive tutoring. Three adults have already been placed with tutors and our goal is to have 10 adults receiving services in the first year.

If you are interested in becoming a tutor for children or adults, please contact Barbara Yuskevich by email: sanford.augustine.literacy@gmail.com (children) or leeco.adult.literacy@gmail.com (adults) or by phone (919)708-2178.

Training classes are scheduled for August 7,8,9,14, and 15 from 9am-3pm in the Lower Parish Hall at St. Thomas’ Episcopal Church. Training materials are provided!

Page 7 T HE CR OSS TI ES V OLU ME 2, ISSU E 7

For those who are ill:

Barbara; Joan; McKenzie; Jeep Barrett; Jack Beyer; Jim and Nina Bonti; Chad Brewer; Emily Briell; Edith Cates; Pat Clark; Mary Gillam; Neal Gruenfeld; Charlotte Hohenstein; Karen Huey; Adrian Nicholas Julich; Pat Kirkman; Crystal Livingood; Cherie Martin; Mary Louise Matthews; Kathie McBride; Norma Naegele; Rebecca Pascoe; Mary Quinn; Joe Riley; John and Roberta Rogerson; Tommy Scott; Betty Sherrod; Debra Smith; Mary Solis and family; Riley Voss; Lynn Weber; Ida Mary White.

For strength and guidance:

Ryan; Thomas; Kelly Baldwin; the Bunch family; Claudia Cox; Cindy Julich; Anne L.; Tyler Martin; Naegele family; Barbara Riley; Vicki Russell; Joy Scott; Jean Anne Snyder-Barrett; Travis Tyner; the Vestry; Chris and Justin Weber.

For those serving and our armed forces deployed and at home.

Our Prayer List

6 Pat Clark

7 Jack Beyer, Drusy Schaeffer

9 Jane Escher

12 Ann Osmolak, Aiden Shepard

19 Virginia Caviness

27 Violet O’Hara, Colin Watson

29 Joan Griswold

30 Cindy Julich

12 Andy and Debbie White

18 Carlos and Sydney Somoza

20 Bob and Jan Carlson

June Birthdays & Anniversaries A

ugus

tine

Tra

inin

g When?

August 7-9, 14 &15

9 AM –3 PM

Where?

Lower Parish Hall

St. Thomas’

Episcopal Church

What?

Training for both

children and adults Contact

Barbara Yuskevich (919)708-2178.

(See email in article)

“Cross Ties”

is published monthly by

St. Thomas’ Episcopal Church

312 N. Steele St., Sanford, NC

Office: (919) 774-8644

Fax: (919) 776-5883

Email: stthomasnc@icloud.com

Website: http://stthomassanford.dionc.org

Office Hours

Beth Wood, Admin. Asst.

M & F, 9AM- 12PM

Tu, W, & Th, 9AM – 1PM

Rector

The Rev. Bruce Heyvaert

We extend a warm welcome from our church

community. We at St. Thomas’ believe that:

Whatever your religious background

Whatever your history

However you have come to be drawn to the Lord

You are welcome to walk your journey of life with us

at St. Thomas' Episcopal Church.

The Parish Staff

Director of Music Dr. Jo Ann Bowman

Organist

June Burbage

Nursery Care Katie Yuskevich

Lay Leaders

Andy White, Treasurer

Women of the Church

Cornelia Olive

Outreach Committee Chair

Pat Kirkman

Cross Ties Editor V. Naegele

stthomassanford@gmail.com

The Parish Vestry

Serving through 2017

James Jessup, Jr. Warden

Cindy Julich, Sr. Warden

Katie Hyer, Clerk

Serving through 2018

Wendy Seymore

Elizabeth Zeph

Bob Carlson

Serving through 2019

Bill Bradford

Jeremy Linney

Cornelia Olive

@ St. Thomas

For the Right Use of God’s Gifts

Almighty God, whose loving hand hath given us all that we possess: Grant us grace that we may honor thee with our substance, and, remembering the account which we must one day give, may be faithful stewards of thy bounty, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

From The Book of Common Prayer, pg. 827