what on earth is kundalini? · enlightenment relating to the experience of self-awareness during...

1What On Earth Is Kundalini?

WHAT ON EARTH ISKUNDALINI?

2 What On Earth Is Kundalini?

Sheshnaag and the“What on Earth is Kundalini?” seriesI, omdevaji have researched the human framework since 1984.

I dedicate Sheshnaag Yoga Centre and Trust to the amazing human body, the Great Being (Sheshnaag) and the link between to the Great

Being and Human Beings (Kundalini)Sheshnaag aims to build a Temple (Sheshnaag Mandir),

Sanskrit Museum and Library focusing on Atmajnana. Sheshnaag aims to be at the frontier of the new collective understanding that humans are souls incarnate within a human vehicle for the experience

of ‘Self-Awareness’ as the understanding that we are ‘monkeys that have grown to talk’ is superseded.

All knowledge is provided free.

Donations to encourage further research and understanding of Self-knowledge/Atmajnana can be made via direct bank

transfer or PayPal account [email protected]

Sheshnaag Guarantee and ChallengeSheshnaag Yoga Trust guarantees that the “What on Earth is

Kundalini?” series details the experience of Spiritual Illumination or Enlightenment relating to the experience of Self-Awareness during and following the full awakening of the Kundalini energy. Guaranteeing, that according to the oldest known language on Earth (Sanskrit), Kundalini is the one and only mechanism within the human framework responsible for the experience of enlightenment. The experience is dormant, innate

and anatomically totally natural. $50,000 awaits the first person willing to agree to research Kundalini for one year full time*, if they can disprove

what is represented in the books following my anatomical research of the Goal of Yoga.

Contact information:Sheshnaag.com for Sheshnaag Mandir, Yoga & Philosophy

Kundalini.com.au for the “What on Earth is Kundalini?” series‘sheshnaagyogacentre’ on Youtube.com


WHAT ONEARTH IS

KUNDALINI?

By Michael ‘omdevaji’ Perring H.B.

Pilgrims PublishingVaranasi


What On Earth Is Kundalini?

By Michael ‘omdevaji’ Perring H.B

Published by:Pilgrims Publishing

B 27/98 A-8, Nawabganj Road Durga Kund, Varanasi-221010, India

Tel: 91-542- 2314060 Fax: 2312456

E-mail: [email protected]: www.pilgrimsbookshop.com

www.pilgrimsonlineshop.com

First Edition© 2015, SheshnaagAll Rights Reserved

Cover design ‘omdevaji’Cover Graphics & Layout by C. N. Burchett

Edited by Christopher N Burchett

ISBN: 978-93-5076-012-3

The contents of this book may not be reproduced, stored or copied in any form—printed, electronic, photocopied, or otherwise—except for excerpts

used in review, without the written permission of the publisher.

Printed in India


I dedicate this series to: —My Father and Mother,

for I made a great choice choosing them.

My Grandmother and Ian Treanor for showing me love.

McComas Taylor and his passion for Sanskrit.

All the beings that have loved and embraced me.

All beings that have shown me disdain or challenged me.

The Great Being Sheshnaag and the link between me

and thee, Kundalini

May Peace, Truth and the Human Spirit prevail on

Earth.

‘omdevaji’


Table of Contents

Preface to the Series 10Chapter 1 15 Dedications Quotations Introduction Authors note

Chapter 2 24 Five levels of manifestations Three attributes of being

Chapter 3 31 My Life Kali My Princess My Failed Marriage My Drug Addiction

Chapter 4 243 This Culture Is this a free country? Self Identity Value and Belief Structure Communication v/s Recognition Post war generation Cause of grief The Saviours


Chapter 5 256 Yoga and the Yogic Path What is Yoga? Types of yoga Yoga in this culture Satyananda Yoga Tradition Lineage Sivanandaji, Paramahansji, Swamiji Samkhya – all dimensions of life Vedanta – underlying reality Tantra – balanced experience harmonious with all life Class structure – Asana, Pranayama and Meditation Kundalini knowledge, literature and references.

Chapter 6 274 What I think The Human Structure Anatomical correlations to the Chakra Vajra Nadi – Mystical experience v/s Sexual expression

(REM, Dreams, Erections) Significant events prior to 1998 Significant events during 1998 Significant events following my Spontaneous Kundalini

Awakening in July 1998 Three years in Hobart The two states of mind

Chapter 7 286 Is there a God? The human body and framework The seven levels of consciousness Knowledge v/s Experience Self Realisation v/s Perfection The Goddess Residing Evidence Importance of Recognition, Research and Development

Conclusion 298


This book comes with two guarantees.

1. By reading it you will learn something about life

that you didn’t know. If you do not I will gladly

reimburse the purchase price. Simply send the book

to me at the address stated therein.

2. If anyone chooses to research Kundalini and its

related concepts for one year constantly (40 hours

per week for 52 weeks) and does not come to the

conclusion it is “The Key To Life” and they can

prove it I will give them fifty thousand Australian

dollars.


Preface to the seriesThese books are documentation of personal experience and are presented in uncensored form. Am I brave? I would not say so! The word best used to describe the contents is HONEST. I have been threatened with litigation and laughed in its face, fully knowing that in any ‘court of law’ based on ‘the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth’ I have nothing to fear. The reason for such blatant expression is that with the ‘What on Earth is Kundalini?’ series comes a global challenge to all and any psychiatrist/psychologist that is up for the task. The challenge postulates that the human body and mind are intimately connected (via a subtle link) to an all-pervading universal oneness (life). The ‘link’ is describe in some traditions as the ‘holy spirit’ or ‘holy ghost’ and relates directly to the ‘goal of human existence’. In the language of Devanagiri (Sanskrit) the link is termed ‘Kundalini’.

Sure, if never exposed to any ‘spiritual or sacred’ texts or the language of devanagiri, Kundalini is a foreign word sounding like and perhaps resembling some form of pasta. Much in the same way it meant nothing to me up until July 1998. It was not until late 2000, two years after a life changing experience at 08.05am on the 12th July 1998 that I was to discover the significance of Kundalini and its related concepts. For this reason the books are scribed in ‘diary form’ and contain truths about the hell on Earth a person is prone to endure following the ‘unexpected’ spontaneous awakening of the most potent form of energy within the human body structure.

An analogy may help: The human body is encapsulated in an invisible ‘glove’. It resembles the body in shape and is responsible for

11What On Earth Is Kundalini?growth and function of the whole being. The ‘glove’ is much like a shadow in the fact that it is there but physically it is not malleable. Within the fabric of the glove is a system resembling the nervous system. These channels are called ‘nadis’ and allow energy known as ‘prana’ to travel within them. By doing the techniques relating to posture, breathing and meditation the impurities from within the fabric and threads of the ‘subtle body’ can be removed. Through regular practise of spiritual disciplines the subtle fabric can be purified physically, physiologically or mentally. Once the grosser dimensions of the subtle body are purified, perception of and functioning according to the more subtle dimensions of life inevitably occurs. The system may be purified to such an extent that the most potent and concentrated form of dormant energy becomes accessible. For this to happen harmoniously much work is required accompanied with a huge desire to live according to and alongside the truth. All ‘spiritual’ techniques are designed to affect the subtle ‘glove’ in some way. The techniques have been available on the planet for as long as humans have inhabited it. All practises are inadvertently working to purify the subtle fabric in preparation to ‘awaken’ the Kundalini energy.

As I am 100% confident in the fact that the energy within my system awoke without the correct preparation, I have subsequently tried to understand both the experience and the repercussions of it while documenting it in an uncensored way. I have stated the challenge with the hope that some day the current collective understanding relating to the principals of anatomy and physiology will be reassessed in respect the psycho-physiological experience of life, the expression of life, the growth of human consciousness, the bridge of consciousness and the goal of existence.

Perhaps during this life I will be rarely understood, knowing that support will come from the rare few. I accept that my job is not to question why but rather to know why so I will endure ceaselessly with truth as my shield and love in my heart with Goddess Isis by my side knowing with eternal reverence that the blessed gift of being has been bestowed upon me.

I have come to appreciate all is due to two things (Goddess and Karma).


Goddess – the source of all life (unchanging and universal in nature).

Karma – the cause of all of my experiences. My experiences now resulting from past actions, words and deeds. Future experiences being determined by the choices I make now and how I act in relation to those choices. Karma is responsible for all that keeps me separate from experiencing my true nature.

I have also grown to appreciate that my expression and understanding of life is due to another two things (Projection and Reflection).

Projection – Everything I ever express is a projection of ‘what and who I am’. Whether I express that which makes me feel ‘good’ or ‘not so good’ is irrelevant. All I ever express is relative to ‘me’ and how I identify and understand myself as an entity.

Reflection – Everything I ever experience ‘from’ another person is simply a reflection of an aspect of me. Whether the experience results in openness (based on love) or contraction (based on fear) is insignificant. To understand it in the context of me connected to everything and at times a part of me is reflected differently according to the aspect that is being perceived. This is a much more wholistic approach to understanding and harmonizing ones being with life.

In writing this series and publishing it I am risking many things Karmically. Is the general population ready for such knowledge? Can they understand anything beyond their own experience? Can knowledge be incorporated as a belief without experience?

Am I going to be condemned or ridiculed as blasphemous by those who misidentify themselves as being more ‘in touch’ with a form of ‘God or Goddess’ than others? Is my life at risk stating the truths about life and the reality that all is one? Will the entities seeking control through manipulation and fear seek to ruin my reputation as a spiritual realist? Will the statements about the present global crisis be ‘scientifically’ and powerfully opposed due to the fact they have no physical origin and can not be ‘proven’ to the sceptics. Are we a race divided between those who believe in the interconnectedness of life as consciousness and those who understand the human to be a mammal that has evolved to think?

13What On Earth Is Kundalini?Only the Goddess knows, so let it be known that life itself will be

the only being I will be held accountable to. I know that the reality of ‘an all pervading universal being’ is outside of most peoples experience and direct perception, subsequently it can not form a part of their values and beliefs. A dilemma lies not only in discussing such an ‘out-there’ concept but to give enough credence to such a concept to make it believable to you the reader, which seems somewhat impossible. If talk about my truths in the form of life, Goddess or whatever one calls it is condemned I openly accept the fact that no one has to be inclined to agree with me or the concepts. Truth is one (much like life) however it will always be perceived uniquely with respect to many factors. If there are six billion people inhabiting this planet, let it be known there may well be six billion ways to perceive the oneness of life and subsequently six billion truths on how to live harmoniously with it. Sure there are previously trodden (spiritual) paths that clearly detail the safest way to the peak of the mountain (goal of self-realisation), however the keepers and leaders of these paths have become aged, tired, habitual and ritualistic resulting in seperateness, hypocrisy and misidentification keeping us from the goal. Condemnation by anyone is welcomed as I am convinced I will not take offense to projection that is a result of limited understanding and experience.

The incarnation (my life) in this body is a transitory experience, given as a gift for me to become conscious (through a direct experience) of my true nature. It has a predetermined date of ending that is (as of now) beyond my knowledge. I know that it will not be extinguished ‘prematurely’ by the controlling forces who continually inhibit the knowledge of the truth to be available to the masses as the length of life is only ever in the continual present moment. The ‘length’ of life is nothing but an expectation that is formed relative to the concepts of time.

The fatalistic sceptics who wish to take on the brave challenge of proving me incorrect can ‘knock themselves out!’ in their attempt. I have no qualms with people of limited knowledge and experience avidly projecting their own limitations, insecurities and uncertainties towards me.

As far as the knowledge being of such magnitude and global importance goes, each person has the right to decide for themselves


what they wish to incorporate as a part of their own belief system. Spatially speaking the planet Earth has entered a new phase which results in it being electromagnetically influenced by another constellation. This coincides with the impulse of Kundalini functioning within the human beings subtle fabric in the hope that as life universally evolves so too can the human psycho-physiological matrix evolve to cope with the enhanced understanding and functioning that occurs within the subtler dimensions of being.

This impulse clearly evident as ‘collectively’ humans are coming to the peak of understanding in respect to the physical dimension. This movement from understanding and investigating life physically will coincide with a global ‘identity crisis’. This book attempts to soften the blows that some individuals will inevitably experience within themselves.


CHAPTER 1INTRODUCTION

The other day I got psychiatrically analysed. One evening I invited two ‘psyche’ nurses to my house because I felt a need to try and get someone to understand the situation that I was personally experiencing. They arrived and there was a big male with a strong presence and a peaceful feeling female. I had organised the interview during that day through the Community Mental Health Department and their ‘crises analysis outreach team’. I did not know they were psychiatric nurses prior to the interview, I was to learn they were not doctors and unfortunately only nurses after they had been seated in my lounge room for almost five minutes. My house was in the middle of its internal paint job so it looked as it would. I sat comfortably in one chair, the lady sat to my right with a note pad. She was seated well in her seat and the gentleman was to her right and was seated on the edge of his seat. I started off by telling them that I had an experience in 1998 that made me go from the understanding that my intelligence and the life force that drives it was encapsulated within my body to an understanding that there are more subtle aspects of me that constantly interact with an intelligence that is all pervading and infinite by nature. This experience is well documented throughout history in many of the religious, mythological, spiritual and sacred texts known to man.

They said, “Why did you call us and how do you think we can help?” I said that the experience was making it difficult for me to function


harmoniously within my work environment and I felt it appropriate that they may be able to write a letter justifying that I could only work two days per week. They said, “Tell us more about the experience.” He asked, “Was it a one off occurrence or did it happen more than once?” I said that I had experienced strange things for at least six months prior to the climax of the experience that occurred at approximately 8.25 a.m. on the 12th July 1998. The climax went like this I said and I looked at my stomach, lifted out my shirt and moved my fist inside my shirt to represent the way that my skin on my abdominal region moved at the time. They said, “What happened prior to the experience?” and I said, “Well realistically a lot of the things that I had placed emphasis on for happiness outside of myself (as in certain expectations about friends, partners, employers and status) were turned upside down. Somehow I then started to question life more intensely and realised that perhaps everything that I hear and see consciously I was meant to. Also at times I was in the vicinity of someone who would say exactly what I was thinking word for word within a short time of me thinking it. But to this day I do not know whether they were saying what I was thinking or whether I was thinking what they were going to say, probably the latter. So one thing led to another and I ended up in a church to experience a physical movement in the form of a circular motion inside my abdominal region, while I sat in a blissfully ecstatic state and confirmed that there is an intelligence far greater than the human mind functioning throughout the universe. At this point in time this intelligence knows what I am thinking and it is in the corner over there just as much as it is passing through everyone here. It has been scientifically proven that the atomic mass of the atom is less than one percent of the atom itself. So realistically if humans are made up of zillions of atoms then the physical body must only be a representation of one percent that makes up me.

Following the climax I experienced at least five days of bliss.” He said, “So you say that the things that you placed happiness on around you fell down, can you explain that?” I said, “Yes, I split up with a girlfriend, I was smoking pot, I went for a job promotion and did not get it, my friends unknowingly weren’t there to support me and I lost all faith in status.” He said, “Well could you equate the experience

17What On Earth Is Kundalini?to a nervous breakdown or a breakdown of some type?” I said, “I experienced nothing but bliss.” He said, “Following the experience when did you come down?” I said, “I have not had the downer yet it’s not going to come.” He said, “Well it’s the marijuana, that’s why you are anti social you don’t eat or sleep properly, you do know the biological affects of marijuana don’t you Michael?” I said, “Hang about, I can interact well within any given situation, I do eat properly and I do sleep properly whether I smoke marijuana or not.” He said, “There’s at least ten people in the psychiatric department that explain exactly the same thing as you are Michael.” I said, “Yes, but how many of those people have researched it back to the source? This experience is well documented throughout many of the sacred texts in ancient India as well as all of the religious texts. It is the biological basis for all mystical experience, while at the same time being a very important part in the evolutionary process of the human being.” He said, “Well I’ve got cases that document the biological affects of marijuana, have you got documentation to prove your point of view?” I said, “If you want to come in here I have about twenty books on that shelf, but I’ve got four boxes in there if you want to check them out too.” He said, “No.” And did not budge from his seat. They said, “Well we don’t think we can help you then Michael. What is it if anything that you want us to do?” I said, “Well you’ve got to look at it this way, I am at the opposite end of the psychotic. They experience perception of subtle realms but due to a lack of understanding express fear and paranoia, you guys prescribe Valium to the psychotic so they don’t experience fear and paranoia. That’s at one end and I am at the other end of the spectrum. Because of the experience I had there is an energy working within me that allows me to perceive subtle realms in an understandable way that results in ecstatic bliss and joy. I use marijuana to inhibit a constant blissfully ecstatic state so I can function within this culture.” He said, “Yes but don’t you want to be blissful Michael.” I said, “Of course I want to be blissful, I just can’t be in an environment that is not conducive to the flow and understanding of the law of creation, working most of my life to pay off a house I will never own. I understand that the current medical system is trying its best and does a lot of good in many cases, but realistically it is a


form of treating illness while perpetuating medication and the whole structure within the profession is hierarchically oriented. You just have to face the facts to see that it is not the harmonious environment that consciously cultivates holistic well being.”

They said, “Well the best that we can offer you if you want us to do anything for you to help you get the two days off, you’ll have to come in for treatment and get analysed and if they find that you do have a condition stopping you from working then they will give you a certificate of mental illness and give you the appropriate treatment.” I said, “I am not taking mind numbing drugs so I can work most of my life within an inharmonious environment based on economics so I can pay off a house for the rest of my life that I will probably never own.” They said, “We call them sedatives.” I said, “I understand how modern psychology works. Basically in the 1900’s the psychologists looked at the human being and said there’s the body and the mind but the mind is unmanifest let’s watch how people interact socially within any given environment then we will be able to rationalise the behavioural patterns based on certain events. So you guys from your understanding and study of this want to label me according to certain behavioural patterns. I can tell you now that the psychologists were limited in their perception as far as I understand it. They were very intelligent people but as far as I understand it there are five levels of manifestation, one being the physical, two being the energetic (the manifest vibrations), three being the mind (the first unmanifest realm and the conscious mind), four being the intuitive plain (more subtle and the unconscious mind), five being the blissful plane. The psychologists as far as I understand them were functioning primarily with the conscious mind while analysing the physical dimension of being. The experience that I make reference to in 1998 is documented by certain people in India that have enhanced their perception through self-discipline and regular practice to the level where the more subtle realms of existence are perceivable. They have stated how the experience occurs on a subtle dimension, which can’t really be described physically but it correlates on a physical level to a nerve that is directly connected between our sex organs and brain. Freud was right when he said that culture was driven by

19What On Earth Is Kundalini?libido because at one end in the western culture the same channel that is responsible for both mystical experience and sexual expression is being expressed physically through sexual exploitation as there is a minimal conscious cultivation of mystical experience due to a lack of understanding that there is an intelligence guiding the law of creation/nature. This is why in certain other cultures that have a high devotional aspect within their culture there is minimal sexual exploitation. Don’t get me wrong I strongly believe there is a need for a balance between sexual expression and mystical experience but an imbalance either way is inharmonious.” They said, “We can’t help you, Good Luck.” We shook hands and they left.

So here I am opting to write about a subject invaluable to the species but ironically so unknown or inexperienced that for the majority of human beings they find it difficult to grasp. Due to this subsequent lack of interest and misconception I am destined to fulfil my obligations with minimal assistance. I accept and tolerate my personal situation and fully respect the assistance and guidance I am receiving from the subtle realms. On a far deeper level I understand this knowledge is not being detailed for personal gain or telling people what is correct or incorrect, the information is provided for the future inhabitants on the planet so a clearer understanding of such experiences and the outcomes of it can be appreciated.


Quotations by Gopi Krishna

“Kundalini is not a magical force and her awakening does not signify a sudden landing in a fabulous el derado of bliss. It is a stern reality denoting a gradual or sudden change in the quality and volume of bioenergy in the body”

“Throughout the ages man has sought the elixir of life, the holy grail, the tree of life, the fountain of youth, the alchemical dross turned into gold, the third eye, the magician’s wand, cosmic consciousness, enlightenment, illumination and in every case the purpose of the search was the same. Whether the aspirant was aware of exactly what it was he or she was striving for the hoped for prize required the awakening of kundalini.”

“Kundalini alone can officiate as the divine harbinger of a new age and the architect of a war free, united world in which the resources now wasted on mutual agression, violence and bloodshed would be utilised for the uplift of the weak and poor.”


AUTHOR’S NOTE

Following a spontaneous Kundalini awakening on July 12th 1998 at approximately 8.25am I have personally experienced an indescribable ecstatic bliss radiating throughout my whole being on a very subtle level. My interactions within this culture have been extreme and tumultuous at times. Functioning within a society that does not understand the process of enlightenment or the techniques and anatomy utilized for the experience I have been very alone on my journey. Sure, I have found encouragement and confirmation along the way at points when it was desperately needed. I have had a tendency to isolate myself and minimise interactions due to the fact that I am so intense and I find it hard to inhibit myself from talking about my passion in life. The Goddess Kundalini functions on many levels and she is the motivating reason behind this book. I am not even sure whether this book will be successful in my lifetime but I feel that I need to write it for the future generations of humans that inhabit the earth and realise that the goal of human existence is self-realisation (a direct experience of the true universal nature of the human being) and that time on the planet would be best spent utilising techniques available to activate, purify and enhance dormant areas of the nervous system which leads to perception of all dimensions of manifestation and in the process transforms the current human species into a super human species. The other reason I am writing my books is because once the field of modern psychiatry is awakened to the reality of mystical experience and perception of


subtle realms, and the medical profession is aware of the physiological apparatus responsible for such perception and experience then the genuine documentation I have presented will be invaluable to assist in understanding how detrimental a Kundalini experience without any knowledge is to the smooth flow of life.

So according to my understanding the journey of being human or the human being either individually or collectively as a race has been blessed with the opportunity to become conscious of all dimensions of it’s being. These ranging from the physical, the physiological, the mental, the emotional, the psychic and the spiritual. The spiritual aspect being the most subtle and finest dimension. The destination of the journey being the end result of light being shined on the knowledge and existence of this dimension. Commonly termed as spiritual illumination, illuminating the spirit. What is the spirit and how does it function? Who knows? You will experience it uniquely for your self.

Ironically as I sit here and appreciate my self to be conditioned in a way that has made me a product of the culture I function in, I also understand that the language that know dominates the planet Earth is somewhat inaccurate. Tracing the origin of the word ‘spirit’ back to its English source within the Greek Latin period where the word spirit stems from the word ‘spiritus’ which means the same as the Greek word ‘pneuma’ which both mean breath. So first of all I appreciate the word spirit included in words defining my breathing process such as inspiration and expiration and then consider it in the light that the breath is the answer to my question that I have pondered for many years. The question being ‘what goes into my body when I am born and what goes out when I die?’ the answer is breath. Or is it the spirit?

According to my understanding physically it is the breath but during my journey of life the breath will be the key as to how I gain a direct experience of my true nature which is often termed spirit. Physically the breath is the one thing that all humans have in common and atmospherically speaking I’ve probably shared the same breath with Jesus just as much as I have with Muhammad Ali. Spiritually speaking on a much more subtle level life is interconnected

23What On Earth Is Kundalini?in a way that is not consciously recognised nor the ability to live according to it being cultivate within what could be termed the modern Western Judeao Christian culture. Intuitively there is an impulse within everyone that seeks to have a direct experience of this underlying nature and unchanging reality. During this cycle and period of human existence on the planet yoga has infiltrated many walks of life to become the map to achieve the goal. Through yogic techniques and a full understanding of the subtle body and its relationship with life humans will work through their bridge of consciousness through the evolutionary process.

So that’s what this book is about life, its components, the goal of it (in human form) and how the physical human manifestation and the interplay of everyday situations is an end product of a much more subtle dimension that the majority humans are left in the dark about.


CHAPTER 2

THE FIVE LEVELS OF MANIFESTATION ANDTHE THREE ATTRIBUTES OF BEING

THE PHYSICAL DIMENSION (ANNAMAYA KOSHA) – The dimension of gross physical matter.

Everything that is physically solid is an aspect of this dimension. If the substance is void of movement or animation then it stands in this dimension alone. Substances within this dimension are evident as materially existing. This realm is associated with the earth element. Items such as a fridge, a bridge, a house, a hut, sand and a piece of wood are some examples. Even though the human body within its structural framework is composed of all five elements the components of the body associated with being purely physical are the bones, teeth, skin, nails and hair.

THE ENERGETIC DIMENSION (PRANAMAYA KOSHA) – The dimension of manifested energy

Within this dimension the manifested energy is often detectable and is present as an animating force. It is evident within all life forms. Within this dimension all detectable and known forms of electro magnetic radiation exists. Items such as radio waves, infrared radiation and the heat from the sun are within this dimension. Within the physically solid tree there are structures in place which provide the tree with nutrients and

25What On Earth Is Kundalini?as the tree digests it gives off waste products in the form of manifested energy. Within the human framework many systems function within this dimension. The cardiovascular system pumps blood, the lymphatic system provides immunity through movement of lymph, the nervous system provides stimulation via electronic impulses, sound waves stimulate the tympanic membrane in the ear, the visible light spectrum is perceived through the organ of the eyes and the digestive system provides nutrition through absorption of nutrients and removal of waste products in the form of biochemical interaction and movement. The aspects of the human that directly relate to this dimension are saliva, urine, lymph, semen, blood and sweat. Present within both the animal and plant kingdom is an animating life force that provides organic or inorganic life, movement and function to the forms of being that have the energetic level of manifestation as one of their constituents. The energetic body is related to the element of water.

Both the physical body and the manifested energetic level of being make up what is known as the gross body.

THE SUPERFICIAL MIND (MANAMAYA KOSHA) – The ‘rational’ mind

The superficial mind is the unmanifest dimension of being that is related to the day to day working mind. The aspect of the mind that operates relative to the external environment and rationalisation of it based on the perception and cognition utilizing the five physical senses. The superficial mind is related to the element of fire. There are four dimensions of this aspect of the mind and they are:

Manas: The mind that rationalises and works according to the manifested environment. Example, If I am thirsty the manas aspect of my mind instructs my body through my nervous system to go to the fridge and get some water to put in my mouth.

Chitta: Memory, both conscious and subconscious. On a conscious level the chitta aspect of my mind remembers the last time I was thirsty and how the water quenched my thirst so it works in co-operation with the manas to relieve it again. On a subconscious level memories are constantly being put into my limbic system for both future reference and influence. Memory at this level is more


personal and individually based often experienced in dreams. Also at this level memory is unconscious and includes impressions both from our individual and collective pasts as human beings being part of the collective race. These impressions include karmas, some samskaras, attitudes and compulsions.

Ahamkara: Self-identity. Within this dimension the self and understanding of who I am is appreciated as being separate from all forms of life. Identification with the intelligence within ones body is associated with the personality, environmental factors and cultural heritage while being totally encapsulated within the body. The ahamkara / self-identity within this dimension is often associated with the ego. Example, If someone asked me ten years ago who I was I would say my name is Michael, I work as a radiographer, I live in the Blue Mountains in New South Wales Australia, I have a pet dog called Max and generally I am an easy going person who likes to enjoy the sporting aspects of life.

Buddhi: The discriminating aspect. This aspect of the mind is responsible for discriminating between beneficial and detrimental outcomes that may be experienced during life. It is associated with the external environment that I predominately perceive physically through the senses. Example, When I go to the fridge to drink the water if the liquid in the container is a funny colour with a weird aroma that resembles petrol my chitta remembers last time I syphoned petrol and how unpleasant it tasted and influences the buddhi aspect of my superficial mind to discriminate between water and petrol.

THE DEEP MIND (VIJANANAMAYA KOSHA) – The ‘intuitive’ mind

The unmanifest dimension of being functioning through perception and cognition that is not associated with the five physical senses. Associated with intuition and wisdom obtained through direct experience. Difficult to explain due to a lack of empirical scientific proof, however ninety-nine percent of humans have experienced it in some way. My understanding is that the four aspects of the mind are also present within this dimension of being but this statement could be somewhat controversial. The deeper mind is related to the element of air.

27What On Earth Is Kundalini?Manas: the working mind. When functioning through the

deep mind it operates and co-ordinates the body to function for the upliftment and wellbeing of all life forms. Example, Actions and service performed not for self benefit in any way.

Chitta: Memory. At this level chitta represents the genetic vibration and memory inherent within the structure of the DNA. It influences one’s being relative to the information present within it that has been accumulated since the time of creation, especially since human beings have inhabited the earth. Example, My DNA from the time of conception onwards creates a human vehicle for me to exist within that is extremely similar to the structure of the human species that inhabited the earth at least ten thousand years ago.

Ahamkara: Self-identity. Relates to the understanding I have of my true nature and identity. At this level I understand that every individual I ever interact with is a reflection of me and I of them and that we are connected in the most intricate way that is not perceivable through the physical senses. Example, If you asked me who I am today I would say that I have no idea, however I do understand and know that I am intimately connected with everything in existence. What I now identify with myself is universal in nature and cannot really be justified in words. I still appear the same as I did ten years ago however the understanding that I have of life which has been acquired through direct experience has confirmed that the universe truly is one song of being.

Buddhi: The discriminator. Responsible for discrimination between truth and untruth relative to the universal connectedness of everything. Example, Business interactions are most beneficial when compared to the existence of lichen, which I believe is a substance formed during the interaction of moss and fungi where both life forms are mutually benefited and they live in harmony to support each other. Discrimination at this level discerns when such interactions are beneficial for one life form and detrimental to the other. These interactions are avoided wherever possible by utilising the aspect of buddhi within the dimension of the deeper mind.

Together both the superficial and deep minds form what is known as the subtle body.


THE BLISSFUL DIMENSION (ANANDAMAYA KOSHA) –The underlying reality

This level of being is pure bliss, joy or love and is beyond words and everyday experience. It is the underlying reality that penetrates the entire universe and for access to it both the gross body and the subtle body must be transcended. No example necessary for this one as experience and perception of this dimension is unique for all life forms. The blissful dimension of manifestation relates to the element of ether. This aspect of being is known as the causal body.

Even though the energetic body has been sub categorised as one separate dimension of manifestation, realistically all levels are a manifestation of energy / the life force / prana. With dimensions of being ranging from the gross physicality that is obviously manifest through to extremely subtle dimensions which are unmanifest and currently undetectable. Within the western culture the grossest (physical) dimension is understood and investigated as the ultimate reality in life. Scientists are continually trying to break down the physical dimension into the minutest substance in an attempt to gain a better understanding. Within the eastern culture the subtlest (unmanifest) dimension of being is understood and appreciated as the underlying reality permeating all life. The eastern culture has historically had a tendency to utilise the best instrument on the planet (the human being) to enhance and appreciate life on all levels. It is understood within the east that the human vehicle / body for each individual is a representation and manifestation of an as yet scientifically undetectable pranic (energetic) spectrum. The gross physical body is often said to be the shadow of the mind.

* * *

THE GUNA’S – THE THREE ATTRIBUTES OF BEING

It is understood that everything manifest is predominately influenced by one of the gunas. Everything existing in the universe is composed of and governed by a combination of the three gunas.

29What On Earth Is Kundalini?TAMAS: INERTIA (LACK OF MOVEMENT)

Substances under the influence of tamas are prone to stillness. Beneficial aspects of tamas include inertia, solidity and stability. Detrimental aspects of tamas include inactivity, stagnation and instability.

RAJAS: DYNAMISM (EXCESSIVE MOVEMENT)Substances under the influence of rajas are prone to movement. Beneficial aspects of rajas include activity, ambition and vitality. Detrimental aspects of rajas include scatteredness, egocentrism and unsociable desire.

SATTVA: EQUILIBRIUM (BALANCED EXISTENCE) There are only beneficial aspects relating to the sattva guna such as clarity, happiness, honesty and fearlessness. While under the influence of sattva the mind remains stable in all circumstances.

The attributes of being predominately influence the gross body on both the physical and energetic levels. The aspects are certainly more obvious as they are manifest and easily perceivable. The superficial mind, functioning relative to the physically manifest dimension is also greatly influenced by the gunas. Sometimes the mind doesn’t work, sometimes it fluctuates too much and sometimes it is content within a state of equilibrium. All states of being are transitory and even though one state may be presently predominant and currently experienced the other two states do not disappear, they simply fade into the background to be experienced at a later date. The gunas will be related to consciousness in the chapter titled “Yoga & the Yogic Path.”


CHAPTER 3

MY LIFEAt the end of 1999 I noted the following in my diary. Live in the present momentSeek only the truthSurrender my will to the divine willLove is divine powerHonour one’s selfHonour one anotherAll is one.

On the 21st of January 2000 I registered “The Australian Kundalini Research and Healing Centre” as a business. This was the natural evolution of my massage business and confirmation that the three clairvoyants who said that massage was only the beginning because it will lead on to bigger and better things were correct.

Most of January was spent updating the second book in the series “Your thoughts create your reality.” I was also fulfilling my relationship and employment obligations along with my household duties. While working as a radiographer I was blessed to interact with many interesting people. I learnt a lot, especially from the generation older than fifty. On one occasion I commented to a man about how it is unfortunate that the current culture has become so competitive that so much emphasis is placed on winning at the expense of the other team or individual that sportsmanship often does not take

31What On Earth Is Kundalini?place. It also happens in fights where violence and taking someone’s life has become so common that appreciation of life and respect for others has become almost a thing of the past. I understood and confirmed with this patient that thirty or forty years ago if there was a disagreement between two men both of them would step outside and one on one deal with it through a physical altercation. The person who was last standing helped the other person up, then they more than likely went into the pub and laughed over a beer. These days it seemed more likely that if a disagreement occurred, instead of a one on one altercation it would be necessary for one or two of the parties involved to go home, call their friends and collect some weapons then return to the scene to deal with the situation. I asked the patient, “Whatever happened to respect for the fellow human and maintaining one’s own integrity while valuing life?” He then went on and told me a story about integrity that read as follows. “I lived for many years in Ross and there was a time that they wanted to build a community swimming pool. Some people were opposed to it, especially one young man by the name of Bert. Bert thought that the river was ok to swim in and expressed this opinion. There was a vote amongst the people in Ross and the decision was concluded that a swimming pool would be built. Bert was a man of integrity and knew that the majority rules and showed the appropriate diplomacy when he was the first one to start digging and ironically he continued to work on the pool more than any other individual.”

My birthday in the year 2000 on the 8th of February was strange and bizarre. It was not overly special, as I do not recall the day as having too much significance or emotional exchange between Kali and myself. It was significant in another way as it was the day that my Grandma was called upon to depart from her body (die). It was unfortunate that I had not been able to visit her in New South Wales during her short period of illness but in many ways it was psychologically better for me. I did talk to her on the phone on several occasions and although filled with sadness I do remember the last words on the last phone call which were, “I love you Grandma.” And she replied, “I love you Mike.” Unfortunately her speech was impeded but the words were clearly heard and the emotion strongly


felt. She was the epitome of love in my life and I found it ironic that she would depart on my birthday. I still send her much love and know that she is well.

I was regularly attending a shamanic circle on a weekly basis that was run by my friend Cheryl. While appreciating Cheryl I gained the insight that people love talking to her because she really cares. For some reason I could just feel this. The circle on the 9th of February 2000 was fantastic and I appreciated the head and the heart were to be balanced and a battle between the two was not necessary. There was an emphasis on loving myself while also having enough love to give anyone else that needed it. During the meditation / journey emphasis was placed on the base, throat and heart chakras. I also realised that the male energy in reference to the Egyptian Sun God Ra was providing me with protection during my life. This message came from the east and the message from the south was that the female energy in the form of Isis was providing me with wisdom and knowledge. I noted that desire is a trap and visualised painted cakes to emphasise it was not necessary to satisfy my hunger. I had not been researching Kundalini for long and certainly did not know that it was the biological basis of yoga at this point in time. I was still extremely interested in Chi (Chinese interpretation of the life force as compared to the Indian interpretation of Prana) so I enrolled in a Chi Kung. I started these classes on Sunday the 13th of February and they were well worthwhile.

I was trying to complete all of the formalities to do with establishing a business while completing book two and attempting to find someone interested in distributing book one.

I was one hundred percent convinced that my thoughts created my reality but I noted in my diary, “Don’t think you’ve got control of it, until you’ve got control of it.”

On the 20th of February I had agreed to do a presentation at the local spiritual church. The presentation was in reference to thoughts creating reality in one’s life when the time is right. There was reference to Astro, my Hilux (four wheel drive) and the house that I was currently living in with Kali. Kali accompanied me and it was good to feel her support as I felt the presentation went reasonably well.

33What On Earth Is Kundalini?I was also attending the theosophical society as much as possible.

It was still less than two years since my Kundalini awakening on the 12th of July 1998 and I was intensely involved in self-development and the acquisition of spiritual knowledge. I was not getting any feedback from the correspondence I had been sending out and even though this was a setback I was slowly coming to terms with the fact that the majority of people would be unable to accept and appreciate the significance of what I had experienced and subsequently documented.

Around this time there was a little bit of publicity about a movie that was to be filmed in Tasmania on a minimal budget, using local actors. I called and organised an audition. I thought I might as well just for the fun and the experience if not anything else. It also allowed me the possibility to express some creativity and reconnect with the desire that I once had of being an actor. I was blessed to be hanging out with a friend by the name of Nat who was also interested in the movie and auditions so it was fun to attend them together. He had a lot more experience in production and dancing than I did and this was obvious as it was agreed that he would play a small part in the movie and I would play none.

I noted in my diary, “Live, laugh and love.” “You don’t own, you don’t owe.”

After attending the spiritual centre on the Sunday of this week I noted, “Love conquers fear.” And “It is necessary to tie up loose ends and let go of old chains.” There was also a note to meditate in connection with the North American Indians. (I never got around to this).

The lease was up on house that Kali and I had been blessed with and this coincided with her parents going on a nine-week interstate holiday. It was decided that until we found somewhere else to live, during the transitional period, we might as well live at her parent’s house since it will be empty.

I was still employed three days per week and found some time during the other days to visit some local high schools and present the councillor or personal development person with a copy of my first book, “Why The Astros?” I visited five schools on the 14th of


March 2000. One offered to pay for the book and in response to my application to talk to high school students about consciousness there was no response.

Prior to Kali’s parents departure they had a bar-b-que and invited many friends around. I got on well with most of them, especially Neil and at the end of the day when he was leaving he looked me in the eyes and said, “Michael, things aren’t always what they seem but they are what they are.” Kali and I were still in the “lust phase / honeymoon period” of our relationship so it was all going smoothly and neither of us could put a foot wrong. I was enjoying my time with Kali and knew that I had been blessed by the Goddess with a woman that resembled everything that I had ever dreamt of. I was blessed with Kali agreeing to attend a five-week course at the theosophical society that was geared towards spiritual knowledge. Unfortunately even though the course was presented with the most love possible, Kali, my friend Brock and myself came away from the course believing that it was worthwhile, however the words and terminology used were “out there.” For me personally I found much comfort in the course but did acknowledge that the dogma relating to the doctrines was intense.

Apart from attending the spiritual church, theosophical society, Cheryl’s circle, Jean’s spiritual development classes and Chi Kung lessons I regularly practiced Muay Thai Kick-boxing. As I write this book I realise that a lot of these activities were motivated from an unconscious level to try and balance my psychophysiological subtle energy system while preparing my body and mind to cope with the increased energy I was now exposed to.

I realised around this time that Jean’s spiritual development courses had much focus on the chakras, balancing them and enhancing the evolutionary movement or path of one’s own consciousness. During the courses that Jean had taught I grew to appreciate that she accepted me for who I was and I knew that she was on my side. There was a lot of psychic development that occurred during these courses and at times I appreciated extremely good accuracy and a close connection with universal energies. She emphasised concentration and breathing.

35What On Earth Is Kundalini?I noted, “Faith, self-worth, hard work and rewards”, in my diary

and prioritised them one to four in that order. I read a story about angels and once again experienced the

“cold chills” sensation that I was convinced came from an external source and confirmed the truth. I also thought about how humans have become creatures of habit with the option to develop new spontaneity while living in the present moment. I understood that the majority of humans tended to live with their minds in the future while relating their past experiences and memories to their everyday encounters.

In late March Kali and I had dinner with her parents, which was an enjoyable evening. I had a thought reflection around this time relating to Kali’s ex-boyfriend (the policeman) and connected his existence in my life to resemble “Chips” in my first book. I had had several lessons to learn with policemen and this intuitive thought (even though I did not appreciate its significance at the time) was extremely relevant to my life’s current situation.

I accompanied my Muay Thai colleagues to a fight night and I was allowed to be the masseur for our team. We had two competitive fighters in the night’s programme and the whole experience while being extremely brutal was good to appreciate. This is where I saw for the first time, a person get knocked out cold by a blow to the head. He recovered reasonably quickly however he was not in a fit state to continue.

During a day off from work I had agreed to drive Kali’s parents to the airport for their departure and subsequent holiday. I had been thinking about the synchronistic components of our relationship and through appreciation of these and my feelings towards Kali I was motivated to ask her to marry me and spend the term of her natural life with me. I was in the frame of mind that even though I didn’t really care about their response, through respect of traditional values I would ask Kali’s parents their opinion on the way to the airport. As I was driving along the highway Kali’s dad was in the passenger seat and her mother in the rear seat. I was slightly anxious but had psychologically prepared myself for this situation. I turned the radio down and said, “I was wondering what you guys would

36 What On Earth Is Kundalini?think about me asking Kali to marry me?” The immediate response from Kali’s mother was, “You will have to work full-time before you do that! I was married with three children before thirty but I was stupid. Our other son-in-law was around for a long time so we got to know him. Our other son has made a mistake and is no longer married so it would probably be best if you waited until we return from our holiday so we could get to know you a little better.” I looked at Kali’s father and asked his opinion to which he replied, “ What does Kali think about it?” I said, “I thought I would run it past you guys first, so she doesn’t think anything about it so far.” There was then reference to a big emphasis on Kali’s career which was a high concern to the mother and there was comment about how Kali will one day not be employed so it would be necessary for me to support her. We soon arrived at the airport and I helped take the luggage in to the check in counter. They checked in then just before moving through the security area to board the plane I lent forward to give Kali’s mother a hug at the same time her father bent down to pick up the hand luggage and my hand connected with his jaw then as a result my foot stood on top of Kali’s mum’s. I managed a hug with her then a handshake with him and then departed from the airport.

As I drove away I was deep in thought as the situation certainly did not go according to plan. I found the whole situation funny and laughed about it while trying to fully understand and appreciate their point of view and concerns. I realised that their concerns were very traditionally based with respect to the male supporting the female. I knew that the opinion was very financially oriented and both parents had a significant concern for their daughter’s security. I thought about the line, “So we can get to know you better”, and realised that parents often experience disillusionment when thinking they may possibly know “everything” about their children. I may only be relatively young but I fully appreciate that parents may intuitively perceive things but realistically people in most situations are smart enough to only let you know what they want you to know. I also questioned to myself whereabouts in this interaction or appreciation of relationships and connections between individuals does happiness

37What On Earth Is Kundalini?come into it. From this I grew to realise that the “compatibility” of individuals within relationships may have a tendency to be equated to successful financial partnerships rather than the biogenetical basis of pheromones, psychophysiological compatibility and evolution of the species. Soon after this interaction I asked my current employer to extend my part time employment from three days per week to four days. This eventuated with little effort and soon enough I was working eight eight-hour days out of every fourteen. This was not including the time it took to prepare for work or travel to and from or the time that was required in the evening to take my mind off it. Apart from the physical, mental and emotional fluctuations I had been experiencing my spiritual path was continuing to provide me with the support that I needed to deal with life and the manifested experiences it had created for me.

I was talking about Kundalini with a few selected people that were also investigating spirituality. I spoke to one lady who informed me that her Kundalini had been awakened and this resulted in the experience of her being able to predict what would occur in her life in the next twelve months. She also said that she could “see right back” to a time long ago. She said she had control of the energy and chose to live in isolation to assist maintaining the control of this energy. She even told me that she locked the gate on her farm to make sure that no negative energy or influences would enter it. She said that when she feels lucky she might go to the pub and gamble knowing that she will win. She also chose to smoke cigarettes and marijuana and informed me that this was a conscious choice. I did perceive an intimately deep spiritual connection with this friend but in the context of Kundalini research I questioned whether the isolation was maintained through a fear or lack of control and ability to interact in any given situation. I questioned the ability to perceive financial gain and manipulating it in one’s own favour, this was in reference to self-gratification and the ego from a limited and separate interpretation. I was wondering if it was drug use or drug dependence as I could fully appreciate dependency is often a form of escapism. I also wondered if the Kundalini energy was expressing itself predominately through the lower chakras did it


create a psychological tendency to believe in fate (predetermined experiences with a lack of individual participation or influence)? I also noted that perhaps if all chakras are balanced along with individual participation and influence, can one’s life become aligned with one’s own dharma / destiny (purpose in life). Ironically I knew that my questioning of other people’s situations was how I would discover knowledge about myself and grow to fully appreciate what they reflect is what I need to see.

I had noted that my aim in life was to assist anyone who doesn’t have help available, to encourage individuals to gain the ability of maintaining internal harmony rather than temporarily create it by looking outside of themselves. I aim to relate the anatomy of the human psychophysiological framework to the neurological and endrochronological systems that had been scientifically defined and appreciated within the western culture and compliment this knowledge with the philosophical teachings prevalent in the eastern culture. My aim was primarily to assist adolescent males, as there is what I would perceive as a lack of focus towards them in the areas of spiritual development, knowledge and growth. I did not aim to answer any of their questions but rather provide food for thought so they could answer their own. I also aim to study Kundalini as well as enjoy life. I also noted, “Success is internal and it comes from being.” And sometimes I may have to rationalise things by making them appear irrational.

I grew to appreciate the psychic development I had been doing was focused on the chakras and Kundalini, this I saw as being very beneficial to maintain stability and enhance understanding. I was feeling that there was a change in focus from psychic development for clairvoyance and clairsentience that was geared towards telling people about themselves to enhancing one’s understanding of themselves in respect to self-knowledge and evolution of consciousness which subsequently allows people to tell themselves about themselves by experiencing themselves. I knew that self-exploration combined with self-responsibility would result in self-knowledge. A goal was to relate the non-physical realm to the physical reality to allow self-understanding and appreciation of the fact that people are co-

39What On Earth Is Kundalini?creators in their lives. I knew that the event that occurred in one’s life did not hold the same significance as the response to the events themselves.

In my spare time I was trying desperately to get “Why The Astros” distributed on a national level while doing the best I could to distribute it locally. I had a little bit of coaching from a friend who encouraged me in the area of marketing. He said, “Sell the sizzle, not the sausage.” Referring to the fact that the majority of the time buying something is emotionally motivated and that emphasis is to be placed on selling the benefit and not the product. He utilised a great analogy because in reference to the sausage, people are inclined to buy it for the taste rather than full knowledge of the content of the product.

In mid April 2000 I registered the domain name “Kundalini.com.au.” I was lucky to acquire this name and I was blessed by the Goddess to be deemed appropriate to represent it.

Kali had been surfing the net while at work and stumbled across some names of people living in Hobart that had compiled a website relating to spiritual knowledge and Kundalini. I was blessed with her interest in the matter and immediately followed up the opportunity. Soon after calling the person I realised and appreciated that they were extremely knowledgeable in some ways but I was unable to determine whether their directness was a result of confidence or a chosen defence mechanism. After the initial phone call I did not follow this connection up for some reason.

I attended Cheryl’s circle in early May and noted the following messages which were received during the guided journey and at other times throughout the night. Loneliness is a feeling that sometimes gives me strength but also creates the feeling of resentment and hate towards manipulators and multinational corporations. I realised that when I am content within while relying on myself and being alone I will be able to be content anywhere. The power animals gave me the following messages. The snake likes loneliness and respects family values. The rat only wants company. The monkey will dance anywhere because life wasn’t meant to be that serious. The crow will show me the way to survive. I noted that there was load of issues


relating to the second chakra level of awareness and felt that these were being cleansed. I also noted that, “You are another myself.”

Kali and I were coping well in what seemed to be a mutually respectful relationship based on truth, love, honesty and openness. This is why I decided to propose to her around this time. The occasion was not overly romantic and I appreciate this when analysing myself and seeing that my feelings and emotions have been somewhat curtailed from rejection and hurt in the past. I have become more of a thinker and spend way more time in my head thinking than I do in my body feeling. My past experiences were not solely responsible for this as I fully realise my elemental constitution and psychological predisposition as well as the universal energies at the time of my birth (my astrological star sign) play a great part in forming what I have manifested as. Despite the lack of romance and the choice I had made to ignore Kali’s parents advice I was extremely happy when, after some serious contemplation, my dream woman agreed to marry me and spend the rest of her life with me.

I stumbled across some tapes that had been dictated by Deepak Chopra titled “Quantum Healing.” The tapes enhanced my knowledge and reassured me in many ways. I noted the following while listening to the tapes. The body is not matter but is a total interaction of intelligence / consciousness. All illness comes from distortion of the innate intelligence within the body. Conditioning programmes and rigidifies this intelligence, when humans can learn to ‘be’ they have the ability to restructure these patterns of intelligence effortlessly by mere intention. The mind and body are two factors of the same underlying field of consciousness. Healing is the restoration of the innate memory deep inside.

Not long after my proposal to Kali she informed that her ex- boyfriend Phil (whom she had been constantly interacting with since we started dating) had said, “Does that mean the offer you gave me when you returned from your overseas holiday is no longer available?” I knew the offer and the implication of such a statement and questioned Phil’s integrity as it appeared he was still in a relationship with the same lady he had declined the offer for. I had experienced enough tolerance and patience by now so I serupticiously

41What On Earth Is Kundalini?(secretly) informed Phil’s current partner of the statement. I did not imply what actions I thought she should take or anything like that. All I did was state the truth and displayed integrity. I am not up for the secrecy of infidelities behind partners backs so I was comfortable in the situation.

After being informed via mail, Phil’s partner called him to question the integrity of the letter. I don’t know what he stated but surely negative karmic repercussions were not his main concern. Following this he called Kali and asked, “What has Michael done?” I don’t know what was discussed between them but immediately following the interaction Kali called me and said, “What have you done and why did you do it?” I replied, “because he is a sly dog and he is being dishonest.” “Imagine if you were her and I was hitting on my ex girlfriends like that behind your back.” She replied, “You should not have done it. You should have left it to me.” I said, “I have been in the girls position before and if anything I admire the integrity of the person who sold my dishonest partner out if because he told the truth.” I then said, “Do I regret it? No.” “Would I do it again? Yes.” I found it strange that I had to defend the truth in an interaction that involved both a lawyer and a policeman. This made me question the integrity of such people in such roles.

While I was working part time I did have time to continue accumulation of spiritual knowledge in many ways. I was easily able to balance my employment, cultural, societal and relationship obligations with what I had become passionate about (Kundalini research). Because of this balance I was smoking marijuana irregularly and more on a social level rather than a habitually dependent level.

I received the following guidance while at the spiritual church one weekend. Follow your dreams to the end of the road. Tangled string unwinding to form a circle. Yours is not to question why, yours is to know why.

In early June 2000 I grew to appreciate that my somewhat stable existence was only a temporary thing in my life. One Friday afternoon I was informed by my employer that it would be necessary to call him on Monday to discuss an important issue. On Monday he informed me that at the end of June my services would no longer


be required. I soon grew to appreciate that out of the four people that were currently employed part time by this company I was one of the two that was told to go. I could fully appreciate why two of the part time employees were not told to leave as I knew one was married to a doctor and the other was seen to need the job to provide for her family. The boss was apathetic and somewhat distant as I explained that I had just agreed to marry a beautiful woman and spend a significant part of my life in Hobart. I also found it ironic that I was the second person asked to leave, as it was clearly obvious I was the first out of the four employed on a permanent part time basis. I did however fully appreciate that my life and the experiences within it were being initiated by an intelligence universal in nature and far greater than the average human mind could comprehend so I “rolled with the punches”. To my disgust this termination also coincided with a corporate takeover of the previously local business. I was deeply saddened to appreciate the takeover was motivated by businessmen that had entered the field of “health care” with their main ambition being on financial gain rather than people’s health and overall wellbeing.

I contacted the local hospital and asked about any employment opportunities in the field of radiography. They informed me that there may be some positions available in September. The positions however would be full time shift work. As I heard this I gasped in exclamation as I had grown a dislike for full time work especially shift work as it inevitably created imbalances in my life and interaction with others. I discussed this with my father and he informed me that sometimes it is best to compromise one’s own desires to get into the system. Once in the system then opportunities can be sought to make the job compliant to one’s own needs and ambitions. In the meantime I was destined to seek temporary employment in the form of a locum position outside of the state. This type of employment was easy to come by and after some discussion with Kali it was agreed that I would work near Melbourne Victoria for eight weeks then return home. I was deeply saddened by the fact that I was destined to be separated from my future wife for this period. However, I did accept the situation and try to work the best I possibly could within

43What On Earth Is Kundalini?the confines dictated to me.

Soon after receiving this news I attended Cheryl’s circle and noted that during the drumming, focus was placed on the heart chakra. My partner for the night was Cheryl and I flourished in her beautiful energy. Some music started as I was hugging Cheryl and realised that I loved her for being her. She then went away to lead the group into another activity and as she addressed the circle she said, “I am in your heart.” The emphasis during the night was on creativity and we participated in an “upper world journey.” I visualised that I was on my block of land and I floated up into the air while bound to a crucifix with leather shackles. I created a book in the future and it was beautifully presented, bound and outlined. I then lost conscious awareness temporarily during the meditation and somehow regained it about thirty seconds before conclusion of the journey. As I regained conscious awareness of the journey I visualised the large book and a specific cover which was pulsating gold. I also noted the title that I will keep to myself.

During the second half of June I was preparing myself for the part time contract that I had agreed to in Victoria that was for the duration of eight weeks.

I fully appreciated that Kali’s employment consumed most of her energy and time and realised that she could no longer justify or initiate any time outside of this for conscious spiritual development or self-enquiry. On the surface she lived life with many limitations and inhibitions but I did realise she had the purest heart and didn’t realise how spiritual she was. Within our relationship I was attempting to refrain from routine participation based on companionship and ultimately desired it to be emotional, spiritual, sensual, spontaneous and fun. This was difficult to obtain given the current situation. Underlying everything I hoped that two things would occur in Kali’s life while I was away. Firstly I was hoping there would be some time devoted to conscious spiritual development and secondly she informed me that she intended purchasing a house and going on the fact that I had recently purchased a block of land in Tasmania and sold a house in New South Wales I suggested that since she had been investigating the opportunity for the best part of six months,


if she felt comfortable with it, perhaps she could purchase a house while I was in Melbourne and then when I returned we could move in together. She thought this was a good idea and then we went on to discuss that it was probably best if she solely purchased it in her name as it would be best utilised as an investment property in the future. Since I had a business that was dedicated to researching Kundalini I anticipated that for taxation reasons it would be more beneficial if she was seen as a sole owner.

At the end of June I packed the necessary requirements into my car and travelled to northern Tasmania to board the ferry to travel across Bass Strait to Melbourne. Everything went smoothly and I arrived at my destination on Sunday night in preparation for work on Monday. It seemed more than satisfactory as I had free accommodation which there was a magnificent view across the ocean.

The first week was good and even though it was busy I coped well. On the weekend both Friday and Saturday nights I went to the local pub. Most of the people were drinking alcohol, smoking cigarettes or appeared to be under the influence of drugs. I questioned the length of their happiness from such behavioural patterns and wondered if it was escapism from themselves. I grew to appreciate the game of commercialism in the way that money equals power and that somehow people have been manipulated to work most of the week to obtain money then they go out on the weekend to purchase either clothes, alcohol or something else to give it back to a corporation. Ironically I felt isolated while at the pub and appreciated that even though it is seen within society as one of the more social places, it can be one of the loneliest experiences of one’s life when being in such an environment and not knowing anyone else.

Following the experiences I had brought upon myself to appreciate my state of isolation I noted the following, “I find solace within myself, I am blessed to have an open hearted hard working girlfriend like Kali who is loving and attractive. She is incomparable. I am confident that we will learn a lot together as we flourish within our relationship through love, respect and honesty.

Kali had agreed to visit me in Melbourne while incorporating into the trip visiting several school friends who now lived in Melbourne

45What On Earth Is Kundalini?and purchasing a wedding dress as the supplies in Tasmania were somewhat limited. I was really excited and happy with this decision and was looking forward to seeing Kali late in July.

I realised that I had brought upon myself a blessed opportunity to further investigate Kundalini and subsequently enhance my knowledge. The information in the books I had been reading as well as my own thoughts relating to the specific content of them and life made me note the following. “It is necessary to correctly appreciate the innate laws and the Goddesses will by expressing it for the benefit of all.” I realised that everything in creation is relative to consciousness. The more I learned the more I appreciate that consciousness is an ever evolving thing that is primarily inhibited by mans limitation according to his mortal physical perception. I am setting about developing my own consciousness internally and quietly. I must make time for myself to cultivate it and let consciousness flow within me freely. Let the Goddess flow within me, through me and all around me. The Goddess is love and all good. I aim to live a life of love, truth, wisdom and harmony and realised that this would be inevitable.”

At times the spiritual experiences that I was prone to were totally amazing. One time I was meditating in the sauna at the local gymnasium. During this time I sung several mantras and felt the energy move within my body, even to such an extent that I experienced the “cold chill sensation” that was becoming a regular part of my everyday life. At another time I was working by myself as a radiographer. I x-rayed a young lady about thirty years old. For some reason the topic of our conversation turned to radiation and neutrinos. That was not all, after the examination had been completed she passed by my reception desk and as she was exiting she asked me if I got bored working in such a quiet place. I said, “No, I’ve got a good book and held up volume three of “Life and Teachings of the Masters of the Far East.” By Baird J. Spaulding. She stopped in her tracks and exclaimed, “Where did you get that? It’s a five part series and I have been looking for them for three to four years.” I informed her that I was lucky enough to pick each one up for two dollars from the Theosophical Society in Hobart as


they were sizing down their library and this was their second copy. She took down the particulars of the series and then walked out amazed. As she exited I experienced an intense and overwhelming “cold chill sensation”.

Life and work were proceeding relatively smoothly up until the time Kali arrived for her visit. She informed me that she had just found a house that fulfilled all of the specified criteria that we had agreed to. It was in the suburb that we desired and it was at the price we had agreed would be our maximum. While having three bedrooms, being in good condition and having a decent sized back yard for Astro. As a bonus to this it was approximately two hundred metres from the shore of the Derwent River, which is extremely scenic. The house was number twenty-seven, which also held great spiritual significance. Besides all this the money required for the deposit came together with minimal effort. It seemed destined to occur as everything was going to plan.

The time that Kali and I spent together during her visit went smoothly and enjoyably. When we ventured to town to meet her friends and mother to purchase the wedding dress Kali’s energy changed. Of course I was not welcome on this shopping venture and Kali’s brother and I passed the time by having a quick snack and going to see a movie. We returned an hour later than the pre-determined meeting time for dinner and I vividly recall this as being one of the two times that I was more than an hour late during the three years Kali and I were together. Unfortunately on both occasions Kali was irate. Not irate in an aggressive way but more in a reflective tonal way. Apart from this situation I enjoyed Kali’s company, even taking into consideration the behavioural guidelines that were stipulated at times. From my perspective as a non conformist I now realise that my overwhelming love for Kali allowed me to at times diminish my own integrity without too much effort to act in a way that pleased people around me who had expectations about how the relationship “should be.” Kali achieved her goal of purchasing a suitable wedding dress and soon afterwards returned to Hobart.

The following weekend I was at the pub and I met a young man by the name of Brad. We talked for a while then a couple of lads by

47What On Earth Is Kundalini?the name of Dave and John came in. I met them and watched them drink loads of alcohol. I was talking to them about the benefits of Tasmania and said that I had recently purchased five acres of land for fifty thousand dollars. Brad said, “You must do something special to have fifty thousand dollars to buy land.” I informed him that I had a mortgage to pay it off. He then asked me what job I did and I replied, “Radiography” then I intervened saying that I also had a big interest in eastern philosophies. John then said, “Talk to Dave about that, that’s what he’s into.” Dave asked, “What do you know about eastern philosophies?” I replied, “There’s hundreds of philosophies, what sort of a question is that?” He said, “Well, which one of the hundreds?” I said, “My main interest is the chakras.” He said, “What do you know about Kundalini?” I laughed while appreciating the synchronicity of this experience and gave him one of my business cards. I said, “What do you know about it?” He said, “I am in to it to be a spiritual warrior.” The conversation then continued and it went on to Dave saying, “There will one day be a war of consciousness.” He pointed at my business card and asked, “Is the centre into health and meditation?” I said, “It’s mainly in my head and conceptual at this point in time. I experienced it, now I want to provide knowledge for people who may experience it. The business itself mainly has to do with researching and understanding consciousness and the two books that I have written from my own experience. I am well on my way to understanding it.” He snickered and said, “My friend who has cultivated Kundalini for twenty years believes that he has not scratched the surface.” He titled his friend as a “spiritual warrior.” His friend had become someone who does not have sex, does not intend on getting married or having children and does not partake of drugs or alcohol.

He also told me that prior to his friend’s transformation he did the most drugs and alcohol out of anyone that he knew. He also had sex with lots of women and was seen as a very good fighter. I said, “There is no need for all of these rituals, it’s all personal choice. Tantric sex is related to Kundalini. Personally I plan on having a marriage, children and practicing Tantra to perpetuate the race.” He said, “That’s the ego talking.” I said, “We live in an economic


culture so we have to balance participation in that with spirituality.” I then added, “That’s only my opinion.” And wished him luck to which he did the same to me. Upon departing he also said, “You do it for peace and harmony, I don’t. I do it to become a spiritual warrior and have control.” I soon grew to realise that some people work for the benefit of themselves while other people work for the benefit of everyone.

I had spoken to my friend Krystal while I was in Melbourne. She told me that her mother and herself were coming to Melbourne for a weekend to attend a workshop directed by Caroline Myss. Krystal told me what day it was so I arranged to accompany them for the day.

Appreciating in depth spiritual knowledge from someone with first hand experience I recognised that Caroline was confident in a way that was somewhat profound. It was good to see that through hard work and tolerance she had developed her own style of knowledge and was passing this on through her workshops and books to as many people as were interested.

I had not yet realised that Kundalini was one way of explaining the bridge of consciousness and evolution of it through the chakras and during my initial investigation I was distracted somewhat into investigating the little portion of knowledge relating to one of the five branches of Tantra that our culture had fanatically grabbed hold of and exploited. This being the left hand path which is primarily associated with feminine energy and the emotions. Some of the techniques ultimately utilising the act of sexual intercourse to assist in the sublimation of the sexual essence to achieve a direct experience and union with the divine non-changing life force. I have since grown to realise that the many paths of Tantra incorporate all aspects of life and are to be applied relative to one’s own innate elemental constitution and psychological predisposition.

During one Tantric meditation I saw the image of myself being small in size continually pushing against a huge wall that wouldn’t budge. I interpreted this as being symbolic of the constant effort I was trying to put in, in order to get approval from others, but realistically from my perspective it seemed like approval never really occurred.

49What On Earth Is Kundalini?I noted that I need to know that I only have to approve of myself. Following the meditation I noted that the past hurts in relationships resulted from a lack of love. These feelings being caused by the fact that I do not allow myself to be loved because I do not think highly enough of myself. I noted that self-honour would result in self-love, hopefully enhancing my own feelings of adequacy. I hoped to allow love into my life and let if flow freely from me. It was important for me to feel love and my emotions in an attempt to experience feelings while embracing them.

I knew that everything in my life was a part of a much greater plan and while respecting this attempted boldly to deal with myself as much as possible. I was blessed in many ways to have this eight-week contract to allow myself the isolation that resulted in further accumulation of spiritual knowledge and enhanced self-awareness.

My return to Hobart was destined to be brief as employment at the local hospital was still unavailable and it was necessary to seek employment for another short-term contract interstate. I had several things to organise in Hobart during the week I returned. I had a little bit of expendable cash which was spent on household appliances as settlement date was nearing for our new house. Settlement occurred at the end of the week I returned and I helped Kali move our few belongings into the house on the weekend. We stayed together in the new house for one night before I flew to Melbourne once again to work as a radiographer, this time for a three week period. Clearly my thoughts manifested once again as I had previously stated to Kali, “Buy a house while I am away for two months and then when I return we will move into it.” Ironically I did not specify the time period that we would move into it for. The specific wish list detailing the specifications of the house that we intended to buy was fulfilled to the last detail. The Goddess had once again manifested something in my life exactly as it had been asked for.

The three weeks in Melbourne went smoothly. I was blessed to be given accommodation in a beautiful house with an overly generous gentleman and his lovely white giant poodle. He allowed me free reign to his house and all that was within it of which I was extremely thankful. During this three week period I worked during


the day as a radiographer and in the evenings I researched Kundalini, expressed my sexual energy in an imbalanced way and attempted to cultivate interest in my first book. I did not ever receive confirmation by any publishing companies that they even partially appreciated the significance of the event that was documented in “Why the Astros?” I did persist continually but was destined to walk this path alone.

Near the end of the first week a work colleague by the name of Travis invited me to his house for a quiet evening to indulge in some Ganja. His partner and her sons were very welcoming and it was good to appreciate a realistic family environment. I was blessed to be welcomed into their house for the following two weeks and words will not describe or express the appreciation that I felt from the hospitality they conveyed. The family and I enjoyed the spectacle of the opening ceremony of the 2000 Sydney Olympics that was telecast live throughout the country on television. It was a great experience and following this we watched many events together in the evenings.

Many Olympic events were held not only in Sydney New South Wales but in Brisbane, Queensland and Melbourne, Victoria too. A work colleague and myself had organised to attend a soccer game at the Melbourne Cricket Ground. I invited Kali’s brother who lived in Melbourne to join us for this special occasion. He was glad to and I saw it as a very significant experience in both of our lives.

After completion of my work contract I returned to Hobart and joined Kali in our new home. I had another week off before starting work at the local hospital. During this time I noted that according to my current research I understood the mind, body and soul to be three components of the same thing. The body being the physical aspect, the mind being the conscious, rational and analytical component while also being non-physical and the soul being seen as the subconscious and the unconscious non-physical dimensions. I realised that the components could then be grouped into the physical and the non-physical. Within the non-physical dimensions there also seemed to be a trilogy made up of the conscious, subconscious and unconscious which even though could be labelled and categorised as three aspects were ultimately appreciated collectively as consciousness.

51What On Earth Is Kundalini?I also noted, “What makes me laugh is that people think they

know what is going on to the extent that they are so narrow minded they wouldn’t know reality if it bit them on the arm.”

I started work at the local hospital in early October. I immediately ‘gelled’ with some work colleagues and appreciated them as being on the level. As usual I had the tendency to feel more comfortable with the people that were perceived to be at the lower end of the hierarchical ladder. This probably being because they saw themselves as human while trying their best and not seeing themselves as being better than anyone else.

After the first week was complete I sought guidance from the I-Ching. The hexagram displayed was fire on mountain. I noted, “One is done having no permanent home and no circle of friends for support, inner strength and outer modesty brings success.” This was directly in line with my private life as I had Brock as my only friend so he could not form a circle but rather a point and we related best because of the similarities in our life, which were gross instability and overwhelming spiritual acknowledgement and pursuit.

Besides appealing to many people for an outlet I was still furiously investigating the Kundalini phenomena. I noted that if I could remove energy blockages by dealing with personal issues and dealing with my karmic cycle and repercussions it would result in an increased energy flow, which would subsequently increase my vitality, enhance my health and provide contentment within my life. This would be evident as a result of an unimpeded Kundalini flow and the outcome would be an increased awareness of the synchronicity in my life and other dimensions of it. I also desired to help people understand what their body and mind were experiencing during this great period of change on the planet. Unfortunately not many people wanted to know.

I also noted to count my blessings, to proclaim the rarity of such experiences, to go another mile while using the power of choice wisely and performing all actions with love.

Even though my drug use was exponentially increasing relative to the demands put on my life by full time work I had the underlying desire to turn away from alcohol and drugs, exercise moderately, use


common sense relative to my diet and practice altruism.Late in November I attended Cheryl’s shamanic circle once again.

During the guided meditation and following it I noted the following. I entered into the lower world, which was represented by a blue lapis lazuli cave. I was paddling my canoe following a path of water and I saw a spider which to me symbolised creation. I saw a wall made of jade and thought of creation and love and how creation is love. I floated up from the blue cave to enter into a red cave. I was facing a large white door with big old locks in the centre. I wondered where I would find the key, then the answer came which was Buddha. Buddha sat there brilliantly illuminated with an upheld arm and a big gold key. I tried to unlock it but it would not. Then I saw three rows of two rolls of numbers (much like a non computerised ‘old school’ poker machine), which started spinning. These rolls were on the lock and it seemed like some sort of combination lock. At this point in time Cheryl said, “Come with me into the cold.” So I figured I had no choice and forced my way through the door.

As I entered the door I lost consciousness partially and then regained it by visualising a lady from the circle standing in front of me, which I appreciated as symbolising my mother. She slashed my forehead with a razor and this resulted in two big flaps of skin hanging down above my eyes. It reflected to me a lack of acceptance and my mother’s unconscious hatred for me not being the girl that she expected. I later appreciated that non-acceptance in this life stems back to the time of my birth when I was first appreciated by my mother as being male rather than female. As I attempted to release this agony from my body I felt three sharp pains in the right side of my chest. I knew that I had always been seeking acceptance but ironically manifested a life of non-acceptance. Upon completion of the journey during the final drumming I thought to myself, “Love and accept myself with all my heart. I don’t have to prove anything to anyone for acceptance, including myself. Accept love and understand people you resent for being where they’re at.” During the discussion within the group following the night’s guided meditation I grew to appreciate that two other males within the group also came from a background where their mother’s believed they were giving birth to

53What On Earth Is Kundalini?a female until the final moment when the baby appeared and was physically manifest as a male.

Around this time I visited a clairvoyant, I appreciated his abilities but did not feel comfortable with him. I did leave the premises with a fantastic quote that he had given me. The quote read, “The tragedy of life is not death, but the things that we let die in us while we are alive.”

Kali was still accompanying me to some of my spiritual endeavours. Sometimes she would come to the spiritual church on Sunday evening and one time we attended a talk together that was presented by a Buddhist nun. It was excellently presented and the wisdom and knowledge mixed with experience spoke for itself. I grew an appreciation that there were three main paths of Buddhism. The Hinayana linage was mainly associated with wisdom and knowledge and the teachings of Buddha. The Mahayana lineage was expressed while living with compassion for all beings. And Tantric Buddhism was focussed on cultivating the sexual energy for direct spiritual experience which resulted in spiritual illumination / Nirvana. Kali would often accompany me to the Theosophical society when an interesting presentation occurred.

Christmas 2000 was spent with Kali’s family as her brother’s had returned to the state for the occasion. One brought his girlfriend, the other brought a close friend and her sister brought her husband to enjoy the festivities. We ventured to the uncle’s holiday house, which was situated by the side of the ocean. The uncle and aunty were more than generous and the comfort they expressed in their generosity displayed an overwhelming integrity. Their children also came for the celebration. A great day was had by all, with many gifts being shared between us and much alcohol was consumed by those who prioritised it in their lives. I was somewhat subdued but felt comfortable lounging around and enjoying the company for the day. As it got late into the evening some of the lads played darts in the shed and this was accompanied with drinking beer.

I personally have never enjoyed the taste of alcohol and even though I had been drunk on many occasions in the past I chose to do so more for the experience of getting drunk rather than enjoying the taste. Kali’s


brother and close friend seemed to both enjoy the taste of the beer and the experience of being drunk. This would be the reason why they consumed copious amounts of beer throughout the evening to such an extent that they were still reasonably rowdy at a time close to midnight. I refrained from judging them and expressing any of my beliefs relative to the matter and quite enjoyed the fact that they enjoyed themselves. I did appreciate that while acting in such ways they were expressing behavioural patterns more associated with the lower chakras and an imbalanced expression of primal energy. This sort of behaviour was not for me as I had become more mellow and more of a stoner than a drinker. I had comfortably come to terms with this aspect within myself but found it ironic that Kali’s mother would express to me the following day that she thought I should have been out in the shed drinking lots of alcohol and acting in a similar way to the lads. I sat back and questioned what she would really approve of in a future son-in-law.

The overall experience during Christmas was quite enjoyable. I remember on one occasion I was discussing the interests in my life with Kali’s brother’s girlfriend who I had just met. I was discussing that my main interest in life was to research the chakras and human consciousness when at that very moment a wind sock which was rainbow in colour and attached to a pole that sat upon Kali’s uncle’s shed fell to the ground and landed within one metre of both of us. It had been attached to the pole for some time and only the Goddess knows why it chose to fall at this point in time.

Around this time Kali had warned me and was adament that she would not like to be married to someone who smoked ganja on a daily basis. I could fully appreciate her desires and concerns but not taking the reality of the situation into account I promised her that I would not smoke ganja after we were married. Then reality cut in and I realised it might not be a viable promise as I certainly did not have too many aspects of my life in order. I informed Kali to call her mother and tell her to temporarily postpone the wedding. I was serious but Kali did not act on the advice.

The year 2001 seemed prosperous initially, as I was entering it I was engaged to my ‘dream woman’, I had put a deposit on a block of land to build my research centre and was gradually devoting my

55What On Earth Is Kundalini?life to Kundalini, understanding her mystical powers and correlating her anatomically to the human vehicle. My second book had just been completed and I was blessed to have my dad type it. My diary on the 1st of January 2001 started with the quote “The tragedy of life is not death, but what we let die in us while we are still alive.” I was still ambitiously seeking assistance in my life and recognition for my books from several spiritual teachers both in Australia and overseas. I never actually received much positive feedback from spiritual teachers or publishing companies. Maybe they were just too busy, everyone else has a spiritual story to tell or the severity of my own experience may not have been appreciated. During this year I had planned to approach schools to present talks about spirituality which would have included subjects such as looking for answers inside and not outside, drug use verses drug abuse, balance, living as a mind, body and soul while appreciating all aspects and some discussion about aspects within relationships.

On the 13th of January I arrived in Sydney to attend the International Theosophical Society conference. I figured that since they have a serpent on their emblem and the organization prides themselves on comparative religion research and appreciation it could come under the topic of Kundalini research. I had organised for Ram to pick me up at Sydney Airport at 9 o’clock. Unfortunately on arrival there was no sign of him and at 10.30 am I gave up. I caught the bus to central station then bought a train ticket to Penrith. Trains were not operating on this day due to track work so a bus was the only travel option, stopping at every station. Since plan A (meeting up with my brother) did not eventuate I tried calling Herman, Georgio and Karl. There was no answer and no contact with any of them, it was a Saturday and everyone seemed busy. I had a huge backpack on and was wondering who to visit upon my arrival in Penrith.

I went to visit a pair of old girlfriends and they weren’t home. Then I tried another friend who was previously living a block away. The girlfriends had moved four months ago and the other friend was not home. As I was looking in his window to confirm he was not home a bee went down the back of my shirt and stung me on the shoulder blade. As if things couldn’t get any worse I laughed and


walked to the phone. I remembered that Karl worked half days so I called him at work and asked if he could pick me up at the local take out restaurant. He agreed so I bought a small snack and sat outside to eat it. As I sat there waiting a car pulled up across the road and to my amazement Jocelyn’s dad and brother got out of the car and her dad looked in my direction. They walked across the road and into the entrance of the restaurant situated on the other side of the building. I immediately got up and walked to the park across the street to wait. That evening I met up with Karl, his partner, Garthus, Lance, Knowlesy and Herman. Following this quick visit to the western suburbs I attended the conference for several days, four in fact. I was fully appreciating the experience and the interaction of like-minded people.

I then visited Penrith again and was lucky enough to hang out with Georgio. The similarities between Georgio and myself were phenomenal and he was a great teacher for me. I hung out with Georgio that evening. After leaving I had the intuitive realisation that I know Georgio does not like it when my mind is scattered and I do not hear what he is saying all of the time. By now I realise that I reflected him and he reflected me in an amazing way. It was as if I was an opportunity for Georgio to wonder why he would get irritated. I don’t know if he was at the stage of realising that he himself did not always hear people, due to an overly active mind, which was sometimes ill focused (like my own). I realised that I had an aversion to Georgio talking too much but I appreciated that I used to talk too much while often not hearing the other person. Because of the intense energy interactions that I experienced in the presence of Georgio I was starting to doubt whether I had made the right choice to include him as a groomsman in my wedding party. That evening I talked to Herman about it and I told Herman that I felt that I should have chosen Johnny rather than Georgio.

The next day I received two phone calls. The first one was from a young man I had met in the northern suburbs of Hobart who was only too willing to help me out when buying drugs. During the phone call he said that he now lived in Sydney and he was calling to thank me because he had read my book three times and he believed that his

57What On Earth Is Kundalini?life had changed for the better. This was one of the true appreciations that I was grateful for and inspired by. The second phone call was from a clairvoyant I had seen in 1998 and she was in a bookstore in the Penrith area that had a copy of my book. She said, “I am reading your book. I remember reading for you, is that me in the book?” I said, “Yes” and she said she would like to buy some copies.

I returned to the conference for another couple of days and then back to Penrith. I caught up with CK and stayed at Herman’s. The next day I dropped some books off to Robyn and she did a clairvoyant read for me for ten minutes for free. The read was based around a spread of cards into a pattern on a table, (similar to tarot). From her interpretation of the cards she said,

“Determination will get you there.Stay in control with money.If going through any lows, be patient. Your relationship will get smoother.There will be a wedding where you will sign documents. There are three heaven cards present so clearly God is with you. There will be two or more books to come. You will start building on your land in three years.I see you teaching something.Meditation is the key.All you ask for will be given to you.”I was most appreciative of this short interaction and thanked

Robyn immensely before leaving. I arrived at Herman’s and was looking forward to going out as it

was a Friday night and I was in my hometown with some close friends. It would be the last time I was in Sydney before my wedding which was due in April and I was hoping it could be a little bit of a pre-wedding celebration with “the boys”. All week I had been planning to travel twenty-five minutes north of Herman’s to a venue called The Mean Fiddler. I planned to meet Georgio and Johnny at Herman’s and was content with the plans. When Georgio arrived at Herman’s after a twenty-minute drive from his house (which was west of Herman’s) he said that on the phone I had said I was having something to eat and then we’d all meet at Herman’s to go out locally. He did not want to


travel the twenty-five minutes north on this unique and rare occasion. I wondered how I would have said such things, as it was always the plan to go to the Mean Fiddler for dinner and stay there to party after it. I told Georgio this and he stood up, angry, and informed me that he found it hard to compete with my ego and was taking this opportunity to decline being my groomsman. I was shocked but happy, and as Georgio left Herman’s I asked him to send my love to his wife and to take care of themselves. After returning inside Herman said that he found it funny because Georgio had just called me everything that Herman had perceived Georgio to be. Johnny, Herman and myself then proceeded to the Mean Fiddler and had a good evening in a very busy environment and it was worth the drive. Both Ram and the young guy from Tassie who had recently called me did not arrive to meet us as planned. The next day I returned to Tasmania (Hobart) at 6.30 in the evening.

The rest of January was relatively non-eventful. I was continuing to write letters to radio stations, publishers and

anyone else that I thought might be interested in discussing Kundalini. I was hoping to write some articles about Kundalini and consciousness and I had sourced out several contacts for this. I never got round to writing or submitting the articles at this point in time. On the 7th of February I approached the local community radio station in hope that I could present a programme. The programme was aimed at talking about consciousness and anything related to it. The community station was very open and options were being sought. The community radio station (that was coincidently located just around the corner from our new house) agreed to allow me to have a time slot for a radio programme. I chose to do the radio programme on a fortnightly basis between the hours of midnight and 2 am. On the 15th of February 2001 I started presenting my radio programme at the local community station. The programme was called “Consciousness Conversation”. Coincidently this day was titled National Nirvana day.

One Wednesday evening I attended Cheryl’s shamanic circle and during the initial drumming session I was happy and amazed by the experience of hearing the high-pitched crescendo that the collective drumming produced. During the guided journey / meditation I went into my cave. I slid through silicone to get into it which was a

59What On Earth Is Kundalini?new experience and way of entering it. I went up a mountain to my master’s cave and soon after entering it I got shut into a sarcophagi. I was kicking and screaming, as I was initially fearful. My mind was focussed on the journey and I was aware of Cheryl’s voice. As I lay in the sarcophagi kicking and screaming I heard Cheryl say, “Enjoy your journey”. There were snakes in the sarcophagi with me and I realised they were symbolic of male and female energies. In the shamanic tradition the spirit guides are utilised in the form of animals to enhance several aspects of yourself.

The messages received from my own animals were:Crow: Don’t get smothered, fly freely.Snake: Clear sight, see everything as it is.Rat: Remember you are never alone we are always with you.The experience within the cave was now coming to a close and

upon exiting the sarcophagi I was amazed at the sheer brilliance and beauty of the inner lining of the cave which was gold with ruby’s set into the surface. I appreciated that this cave belonged to Isis and that she is a spiritual master present with me. We then discussed a little bit about the guided journey, while sitting in a circle, in group format. The next practice was the shamanic boat. During the practice (symbolic of a shamanic boat) you partner up and interact on a personal level while being part of the collective group. My partner Peter told me that he saw a snake during the experience and that it was moving quickly within my heart but it did not want to come out. Then he saw a paddock, a man and a horse working an old plough. He implied that it was good for my soul to get back to basics.

As the church had been selected for my wedding to Kali we had to go to the priest on several occasions for pre marriage counselling and compatibility assessment.

Around this time I was also working furiously to complete proofreading my second book.

The hospital I was working at was affiliated with a research foundation that was stating it would consider any research projects and necessary grants would be offered up to the amount of twenty thousand Australian dollars. Not only was my proposal very hard to word but also it was difficult to categorise and appreciate from


a non-subjective point of view. Here I was applying to research the probability of mystical experiences resulting in self-realisation within the psychiatric department of the Hospital. In other words, assess how many ‘psychiatric’ impatients had experienced Kundalini awakenings that coincided with the realisation of ‘God’ through direct experience. Most of the grants were given to proposals that were relating to some form of manifest physical imbalance within the human body rather than dealing with the non-physical aspect. No wonder why, since it is so difficult to appreciate anything that “isn’t there.” I also appreciated that most research proposals have to come under the title of qualitative research or quantative research rather than unique individual experiences coming under the category of phenomenology. The category of phenomenological research is almost impossible to scientifically replicate. Needless to say I was unsuccessful in my application to research the number of ‘psychiatric’ patients that had experienced a mystical experience that resulted in ‘transformation of consciousness’.

Around this time I ordered a wedding ring, it was a band of tubular white gold.

The things I wrote down the following about Cheryl’s circle this week were: The solar plexus chakra is significant so don’t leave yourself open. During the journey there was emphasis on knowing that I am worthy of love. Seeing the truth (through special glasses) And speaking when needed and not excessively.My friend Ji was working on the first attempt of my website.

He was very helpful and it was most appreciated. I presented a talk at the theosophical society on Monday the

26th of February and it went reasonably well. I was daydreaming around this time about being involved in

the production of a movie based on the experience of a spontaneous Kundalini awakening.

Kali and I had decided to have our honeymoon in New Zealand. She organised for both of us to visit and stay at her ex-boyfriend’s

61What On Earth Is Kundalini?house for a night and I did the same with a friend that I had met while I was working as a horseback tour guide.

I received a massage around this time and even though I was specific with the explanation of symptoms and the location of tension. Pain was evident in left calf, left knee, right groin, neck and shoulders, spinal muscles and sacroiliac region (where the spine meets the pelvis) there was a natural tendency by the practitioner to avoid the groin region and ironically I thought this seemed to be what could be termed as the epicentre relating to all the muscle tension within my body.

Around the middle of March I presented a talk about consciousness and my individual perception of Kundalini at one of the Hobart Spiritual Churches. It was similar in content to the presentation at the theosophical society and as Kali attended that one she was not present here. An outline of the content of the presentation is listed here.

Theosophical Society/Spiritual church

Kundalini Talk 26-02—2001

Hello and welcome to everyone.The word Kundalini often has very negative responses from

people. Hopefully tonight we can appreciate it from a good perspective also.

I have a lot to get through so I would appreciate it if you have any questions during the talk you write them down and I will attempt to answer them at the end. If I talk too quickly please slow me down. If what I am talking about is not clear, then stop me so I can explain it differently. Thank you

Firstly I have to read a disclaimer to cover myself legally as the human consciousness is uncharted territory. It pretty much says it all so I will read that first and then get started. It’s reasonably lengthy so bear with me.

All of the information provided by Michael Perring and/or The Australian Kundalini Research & Healing Centre is offered with the best intentions for the good of humanity. It is meant to be incorporated with a well-disciplined healthy lifestyle. It is not meant to be used as


a substitute for any professional psychiatric or medical treatment or advice. Cultivation of the extremely powerful Kundalini energy is only recommended under the guidance of an experienced teacher. Everyone should be aware that the process of Kundalini awakenings and expanding one’s consciousness can be extremely dangerous. Preparation and discipline of the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual components of one’s life are imperative for one’s own safety. Moderation and balance are key components to be aware of when dealing with this type of information. There is no quick fix or fast track method to spiritual enlightenment. Spirituality needs to be incorporated with an already balanced lifestyle. Imbalance may occur in one of many ways and attempting anything without the correct preparation is only encouraging ill-fated results. To use any of the information provided means that the receiving individual accepts full responsibility and liability relating to any consequences, life changes or illnesses that may occur as a result.

I will start by defining consciousness according to my understanding.

We’ll start by saying that most people appreciate the fact that we as human beings are comprised of a body, a mind and a soul.

The Body being the purely physical componentWe can touch it, touch with it or we can chop it off and it is

gone.The Mind is the part of us that is responsible for analysing life

and our environment and living according to our interpretation of it. It is the part of us that is working when say for instance we run out of bread, we know we need more bread so we go to the store and buy some. Or we know that we start work at 8:30 so we get up at 7:00 to get ready to be there on time. Our mind is the part that we know thinks for us. We are conscious of it. So we could call it our Conscious Mind. (Draw on whiteboard)

The Soul (or what ever you may prefer to call it) is the part of us that intuitively works within us. It is the part of us that is working when for instance, you may think of someone from school or a specific person that you haven’t seen for several years then the next day you ‘bump’ into them. Or sometimes you think of a friend, then

63What On Earth Is Kundalini?five minutes later they call. It is also the intelligence that heals your wounds or makes your heart beat. It is the part of us that the majority of people are unconscious of. Even if we are aware of it we are unsure how it works. Since it is a form of intelligence we could call it our Unconscious Mind. (Draw on whiteboard) I prefer to call it Unconscious compared to Subconscious as I feel that the prefix Sub implies that it is below or inferior to the Conscious mind. Others choose to term it the higher self.

Together the Conscious and Unconscious make up Consciousness. (Draw this on whiteboard)

This Consciousness is in us and somehow it operates through a mechanism to unify itself with the Universal Consciousness. We can term this Universal Consciousness - GOD, Allah or anything we choose.

From my understanding the mechanism that is responsible for maintaining and transforming our consciousness is best interpreted and understood in reference to diagrams and literature on the Chakras and Kundalini.

The Chakras could be part of a subtle energy system that is a part of our own nervous system that we know so little about.

Firstly I will talk about the energy flowing within our subtle energy system and how it affects our consciousness, our spiritual awareness and ultimately our lives.

I will use terminology originating from the ancient Eastern Indian culture, known as the Indu’s civilisation. That is spelt I N D U ’ S. The terms are Sanskrit and they are the oldest known Indian documented examples referring to consciousness and the transformation of it. Historically the literature is from a period of atleast three thousand to two and a half thousand years before the birth of Christ.

Kundalini — is a Sanskrit term relating to ‘coiled up’.— is a natural free flowing energy within all

humans— is correlated to concepts of Chi, Ki and Prana

(although I believe that these energies flow throughout the whole body, where as on one level


Kundalini is interpreted to flow solely between the Chakras).

The word Chakra is the Sanskrit term meaning ‘wheel or disk’. These wheels are connected on a subtle level by Kundalini and the channels that it travels through.

The Kundalini flows from the bottom to the top, although it has been perceived by some to vary from this.

The Chakra’s, Kundalini and the Human energy system work together and in unison with various organs, glands, nervous plexi, musical notes, colours and human consciousness.

The word Kundalini is most often used in the context of a Kundalini arousal or awakening.

‘Kundalini awakenings’ is the term used to describe what happens when blockages within our system are released, cleansed or unblocked. A Kundalini awakening can occur gradually over a period of time or instantly for no specific reason. They are a well documented occurrence but until recently the knowledge and literature about them was only available to sage’s, guru’s and yogi’s within the East.

I believe that when we are born we come into this world with a consciousness that is uninhibited. (This of course excludes karmic issues for those who believe in reincarnation and Karmic debt).

So our consciousness at the time of our birth is much like a cable or roll of cardboard. The cable allows our consciousness and internal energy to flow freely along it while being uninhibited.

During our life we experience things that act on this cable much the same way a set of crimpers would act on a cable, or my fingers on this roll. It is as if we have an invisible set of crimpers attached to our consciousness and we slowly and gradually inhibit or block its flow.

We experience things such as fixed mental attitudes, societal conditioning, parental conditioning, criticism/sarcasm, poor dietary habits, poor sleep patterns, stress and other negative behavioural patterns that may contribute to creating imbalances within our subtle energy system.

If we look at all of the so called ‘New Age’ modalities we can appreciate that all of them concentrate toward removing the

65What On Earth Is Kundalini?blockages and inhibitions within our system. The ultimate goal being a transformation in our consciousness that opens us up to a spiritual awareness where our individual consciousness merges with the universal consciousness.

So when people talk about evolution this is one of the many aspects they refer to.

The whole experience of a Kundalini awakening can be extremely powerful and dangerous. Many people in today’s culture want a convenient ‘quick fix’ way to enlightenment but ill preparation is a sure way to encourage disaster.

The cultivation of the extremely powerful Kundalini energy should only be encouraged naturally and never artificially induced. Where ever possible the guidance of an experienced teacher is highly recommended. The correct mental, physical, spiritual and emotional disciplines are imperative for a positive experience.

In my belief the best way to do this is to live a balanced life while keeping aligned with the universal laws and truths.

Kundalini awakenings are way more common than we believe them to be. They may vary in intensity from extremely subtle to overwhelmingly powerful, while being anything from blissful to deadly.

Basically any experience that has to do with the transformation of an individuals consciousness could be termed a Kundalini arousal or awakening.

Some practices that could make a Kundalini awakening occur are; concentration contemplation meditation yoga tai chi massage intellectual inquiry alien abduction near death experience a person may experience one for no reason at all.

The signs that may occur during an awakening may be; a realisation of oneness


a change in awareness / consciousness numbness and / or tingling hot or cold sensations physical movements trembling aches and pains internal pressure anxiety mystical experiences out of body experiences

Some of the symptoms following a Kundalini awakening are; extreme loneliness isolation depression psychosis schizophrenia manic depression sleep apnoea dehydration unexplainable joy unprecedented joy liberation self realisation connectedness to everything new spiritual beliefs and theories faith in ‘the unperceivable’ a change in attitude toward life a complete change in lifestyle thoughtful self examination well being (health and vitality) profound knowledge healing abilities psychic abilities

Kundalini is often referred to as a Snake. This analogy is used to describe the wave like pattern that the Kundalini travels up the spine in. It is also used to try to describe the intensity of a Kundalini awakening. The Kundalini energy is believed to lay dormant at the base of the spine in

67What On Earth Is Kundalini?the sacred bone called the sacrum, (much like a snake guarding the eggs in its nest). When the actual transformation occurs it is likened to the power and speed at which the snake would strike out to protect its eggs.

The Kundalini energy is described as having two opposing yet complementary energies.

The Female component is termed Ida, which correlates to other feminine terms such as Shakti, Yin, Cold, Negative and Moon.

The Male component is termed Pingala, which correlates to other masculine terms such as Shiva, Yang, Hot, Positive and Sun

The Ida and Pingala are believed to travel along a hair like structure within the centre of the spinal chord called the Sushumna.

These two opposing yet complementary energies are also present within each Chakra.

The Chakras are the bridge to higher consciousness and when our system is ready it will merge with the Universal Consciousness.

The experience of unifying ones Individual Consciousness with the Cosmic Consciousness can be referred to in one of many ways.

Sometimes you hear of a merging of:The Vital energies with the Cosmic energiesThe Microcosm with the MacrocosmThe Physical with the SpiritualThe Internal with the ExternalThe Mother Earth with the Father SkyThe Moon energies with the Sun energies.Thank you for your time. Are there any questions?

It was nearing the wedding day and plans were being formalised. I decided to invite several work colleagues to the wedding and not the reception.

I placed the question in my diary at the end of March. “Did all historically influential scientists believe in God? Or perhaps experience Kundalini in some way?”

I confirmed the itinerary to New Zealand and prepared my wedding speech. Around this time my work colleague, Sanchez asked me to present a talk about consciousness at one of the education sessions. I was more than happy to oblige and presented information similar in content to the theosophical society presentation. I did


alter some examples to allow them to appear relevant in the lives of those at work.

Kali and I visited the minister and had to complete a one hundred and fifty multiple choice questionnaire that supposedly measured the probability of compatibility. Early April we met him for the results and the perceivable outcome, as well as discussion about the rehearsal and final plans. He was happy to inform us that according to their analysis of the survey Kali and I were extremely compatible and well suited to marriage.

On April 15th 2001 Ram, Mum and Dad arrived in the state of Tasmania a week prior to the wedding in preparation for it. It was great to be with my family again and to see them in Tasmania. The following day Herman arrived by plane and we picked him up on the way out to Woodsdale, Woodsdale being the location where I worked as a horseback tour guide for the best part of a year. I had organised a couple of nights accommodation accompanied with some horse riding which both Ram, Herman and I participated in. On the second night Mum, Dad and Ram relaxed at the lodge with the new owners and the farrier who was a fantastically funny and ‘typical’ country man. Herman and myself went and visited Flo and Jack (the friend’s I regularly visited while living alone at the lodge). It was a fascinating experience for both Herman and myself (as I knew it would be). Jack had built the whole house from scratch and had been extremely innovative in the process. They had an extremely small and cosy lounge room and the feel of the house was quite pleasant. Like always they were extremely happy to see me and were extremely generous towards us. They offered Herman and I a beer each (which was warm due to a lack of electricity) of which Herman declined and I accepted just to be hospitable. Then Jack grabbed a bowl, which had a fair helping of marijuana in it. He then proceeded to prepare the drug-smoking implement (bong). Herman and I both had a couple of ‘cones’ each and were well on our way. Even though Jack and Flo did not own a lot of possessions it was amazing to appreciate how generous they were with what little they had. Jack “convinced me” (quite easily) to partake in a couple more ‘cones’. Herman declined and we were quite content. I had not smoked pot for a couple of days and I was

69What On Earth Is Kundalini?intensely affected by this session. We hung around for a while and then departed. I was quite capable of driving the bush track home as I had already done it many times before and the five-minute drive was well imbedded into my habitual memory.

When we arrived back at the lodge to my amazement everyone was still chatting out on the balcony and having a wonderful time, which spoilt my plan of covertly sneaking in and hiding my red eyes from everyone. I did not want to deal with them so as Herman sat on the balcony and joined them I told everyone I was going to bed. Soon after laying on the bed I experienced one of the strangest sensations I have ever had while under the influence of marijuana. I was slightly cold and at the same time it felt as if there was a huge pulsating vibration present around my whole body in contact with my skin. I was really ‘bent’ and did not totally understand the experience. The vibrating continued and I had a thought that somehow the more subtle bodies were trying to detach from the physical. To this day I do not fully understand the experience.

The following day we returned to Hobart to try on the suits. Ram and Herman drove my car into town and I met them at the shop, which went well except for the fact that they got a parking ticket, which made me laugh. Johnny and his partner arrived that evening and we all had dinner together.

Soon after my interaction with Georgio and the departure of his conscious participation in my life I had asked Johnny to be my groomsman instead of Georgio. Even though Johnny was dubious because it somehow felt like he was a replacement I was fully blessed to have him agree to be in my wedding party at reasonably short notice. When I think about it, it was a shame that I did not ask him initially instead of Georgio as Johnny is Johnny and always has been. Just the sort of person that he is makes me appreciate spirituality on a whole different level. He has also been there in some of my greatest times of need and I cannot thank him enough.

The following day I had organised an abseiling trip for the three groomsmen and myself. It was a great experience and good to appreciate how spectacular some of the coastal views off of Tasmania are, especially when hanging fifteen metres down a cliff on a rope. That night everyone visited the church for a rehearsal in


preparation for the big day on Saturday. Kali’s parents were there and immediately my friends were impressed by the stern look on Kali’s mothers face. They realised that she was certainly a lady inclined to get what she wants. The following morning the lads played golf. It was a great experience and very enjoyable for me to be in such accepting company.

The next day was the 21st of April 2001 (which was coincidently the same day as my loving grandmother and grandfather got married in 1935). It was to be my wedding day and supposedly one of the happiest days of my life. In my diary I wrote, “Getting married today. Are you making the right choice?” The day started well with my parents, Ram, Herman and Johnny all being at my house to get dressed for the occasion. We took some funny pictures in some funny hats and I also got a photo of the four of us in four of my favourite ‘mooks’ T-shirts. Once we were dressed we proceeded to the church and waited for further instructions. My mum and dad sat on the right side of the aisle and they were the only two people in the front two rows on that side. I remember seeing and greeting many people and being extremely happy on this special occasion.

The church slowly filled up and the left side of the aisle was packed full of Kali’s family, friends and friends of her parents. On the right side my mum and dad were present, then an empty row, then people from work and some ladies from the theosophical society, Spud, three young lady partners of the groomsmen, Cheryl and Mike, and John and Brock. The four groomsmen were placed into a small entrance hall off to the side of the church, which was not being used by Kali. While in there we were looking down the massive driveway of the church, which was beautiful in autumn time with the big trees (perhaps elms or oaks) bridging the road. It was funny in the room as all the boys were making jokes and we were also watching the latecomers through the little porthole windows in the church door.

Upon arrival in the prestige motor vehicles, Kali was being totally fussed over and all eyes and emphasis were on her (as it should be). We were told to exit the room and stand in the relevant positions. I couldn’t wipe the smile from my face as I watched my wife to be walk down the aisle looking radiantly beautiful and spectacular. When she greeted me at

71What On Earth Is Kundalini?the front of the aisle she looked happy, overwhelmed (with the amount of people and the attention) and beautiful. We each followed the instructions and repeated the vows as stated and said all the usual stuff that accompanies such commitment. We completed the ceremony and signed on the dotted line then got driven in the prestige vehicle to the reception.

The reception venue was magnificent and the table service was more than adequate. There was however a lot of emphasis on getting photographs and being filmed onto a video which to me sometimes felt like when you are on holidays and you concentrate so much on taking a photograph that you don’t really get to appreciate the experience of being there totally consumed in the actual feeling of the experience. There were about eight to ten tables each with ten people on each, of which I had accumulated enough people for one table. The lads and myself were seated up the front at the bridal table with Kali and two of her friends and her sister. The meals were beautiful and everyone was consuming a fair amount of alcohol. Kali’s younger brother was the MC and he did a great job. Her older brother did a short speech and he also did well. Kali’s father like my own did not feel the need to say anything publicly throughout the day or night. Herman got up and said a small speech to try and vouch for me in such an overwhelmingly intimidating environment. For someone who is not used to presenting anything publicly it was straight from the heart, which I appreciated. It was then my turn to say my speech. In order to include the many points I had in mind, the speech had been prepared long ago. The speech is documented here:

Hello Everyone.Firstly I will just get this photo out. It is of my two loved ones who

unfortunately can’t be here physically tonight. Astro and GrandmaI have been informed that I get three minutes to talk so I’ll try to

make it short and sweet.There are so many people to thank, please bear with me.I would like to sincerely thank everyone for coming to share this

occasion with Kali and myself, especially those who traveled great distances.

Thank you to everyone involved in the preparation of this event. It has turned out to be a spectacular day.


Cheers to the groomsmen, they are three of the closest people to me and I feel blessed to have shared much of my life with them.

Herman has been a good example of FUNRam has been a good example for me to gain WISDOM about

lifeAnd Johnny, if I can be half as GENEROUS as you I will be

happy.Thanks to the bridesmaids for playing their part and looking as

beautiful as they do. The dress maker has done a great job on the dresses and we sincerely appreciate your help.

I would like to thank my parents, for bringing me into the world and raising me as they did. They were always honest with me and supported me with all of their available resources whenever required. To me they are the best parents I could have ever wished for and I made a good choice when I chose them. Thank you for coming to Tassie to share in this special day.

I will come to Kali’s parents laterI need to say this in order so people can appreciate it.Kali and I have had an interesting relationship from the day that

we met. And I am sure that destiny has played its part.I originally came to Tasmania from New South Wales for 3 months at

the end of 1998. I had no definite plans so I stayed for 5 months. During this time I went for a horse ride at a place in the middle of nowhere called Woodsdale (approximately 1 hour from Hobart). After a hard days riding I was offered a job as a horseback tour guide. I accepted the job there and then. I then went to India and Nepal for 6 weeks and returned to live in the bush at Woodsdale in late March of 1999. Over the next 3-4 months Kali and two of her friends came riding on 3 occasions. It was purely professional from my perspective and there was a line there that I didn’t want to cross. Coincidently the first 2 times that they came riding I was not supposed to be the guide, Flo (the other guide) was ill on both occasions so I was the guide for the ladies on these days.

So a couple of my first impressions of Kali were:One: Dressed in her horse riding kit, flannelette shirt, leggings,

scabby old dirty boots and a big white stack hat.Two: The sound of stomping footsteps outside of my door at about

midnight, late April 1999, while she was dancing with her friend after consuming several glasses of alcohol.

73What On Earth Is Kundalini?Anyway the third ride came and went, sometime in May. I was impressed

by Kali’s smile and humble manner, still not daring to cross the line of professionalism. I was also impressed by the way Kali was content to ride behind me and not run off in front of the group like the other two ladies.

A week later Kali called me to offer her services to be the ambassador for Tasmania and kindly show me some of the highlights of the state. I kindly accepted and on the 19th June 1999 we went to Strathgordon for our first date. What helps me remember this date so well is because it was my Dads birthday and I forgot to call him that day as I was distracted.

So I visited Kali in Hobart during the next couple of weeks. There were several events at this house that helped the whole situation along.

This was just prior to her parents’ holiday to Canada and Alaska. For the next month Astro and I visited Kali (while she was house-sitting) at her parents home quite regularly.

Kali’s parents’ introduction to me was somewhat intense and overwhelming.

It went something like this: They arrived home from their holiday to Canada and Alaska in 1999 expecting everything to be similar to when they left.

The first night back Kali said “I am dating Michael from Woodsdale”

The next night Kali introduced me and said “this is Michael”The next night Kali said “I am moving in with Michael”I was welcomed by the parents straight away. At times I have been

questioned by Kalis mother, but I am sure this is only due to concern for her daughter and I respect that. I can honestly say that apart from the odd bit of interrogation both of Kalis parents have been extremely hospitable and giving to me. I would like to thank you guys very much for all that you have done.

Now to Kali, my lovely new wife. I would just like to share this story with everyone.

When I lived in Hobart for the five months after first coming to Tasmania I went and had some reflexology (my feet rubbed) for those people that are unaware of it. While I was there I told the therapist about several things that were or were not occurring in my life. She offered lots of advice. The most significant being that if I was serious about finding my dream woman the best thing to do would be go home and write a list of


everything that I want my dream woman to be. The list had to be specific and precise because the things that I didn’t specify would also influence the outcome. She said I could either write the list and throw it straight away, look at it daily or put it in a drawer and forget about it.

When I arrived home I figured that I had nothing to lose so I wrote a concise list of the things that I wanted in a dream woman. The list went something like this;

Brunette, Beautiful eyes, Beautiful lips Athletic build, Intelligent, Professional, Open minded, Independent, Loving, Caring, Low Maintainence, Good with animals, Free from emotional baggage and born under the star sign of Gemini, Aquarius or Sagitarius.

There were also some other specific points that I don’t wish to disclose.

Anyway after writing the list I placed it in a box or drawer and forgot about it.

About three months after living with Kali I came across the list. I read the list and to my amazement Kali is nineteen out of the twenty things that I specified for my dream woman. Its funny how the universe works isn’t it. The only thing on the list that Kali wasn’t was to do with the starsign. Kali is a Leo instead of the ones specified. I figured that I couldn’t be too greedy and even though your horoscope has a lot of relevance I am more than happy to accept Kali as she is because she’s so excellent. I am absolutely wrapped that Kali and I are married because I seriously couldn’t ask for anything else in a wife.

I would just like to say to Kali – Thank you for having faith in me, I love you.

Now for one of the other reasons I stood up is to toast the bridesmaids. I ask you all to charge your glasses and drink a toast to the bridesmaids.

To the bridesmaids – Cheers.We then did a wedding waltz of which I demanded to choose

the music (since I had to have some input into the whole situation). I chose the song titled, “Love Takes Care” by The Angels. The DJ initially tried to shorten the song, as it was not your typical wedding waltz so I made him rewind it and then focussed on being in the moment with my new lovely wife. On watching the video of this

75What On Earth Is Kundalini?experience I realise that my eyes were closed and I was deeply into the experience however Kali had her eyes open and was focussed externally towards the crowd. Everyone danced following the waltz and had a great evening from what I could see. Even Kali’s grandmother danced which everyone enjoyed. She wasn’t doing badly for someone over the age of ninety. After concluding the wedding reception we were driven to a flash hotel on the Hobart waterfront. We were lucky enough to be upgraded to the Presidential Suite, which was the second best suite in the place. We had to settle for the second best suite as Kylie Minogue was apparently in the best one. The hotel experience was good.

After what was a very enjoyable day and great evening the following day we met up with some family and friends to open the presents. It took more than three hours to open the presents and I was overwhelmed with the generosity of people. It was as if our wish list for our house and the appliances within it was being immediately fulfilled before my very eyes. Prior to the wedding we had visited a couple of stores in Hobart to decide on the goods that we would place on the wedding list as presents just in case people wanted to buy them. This idea worked out well but like the photographer and the video man there was a bit too much emphasis on things outside of ourselves rather than the actual feeling of commitment and the overall experience of blissful love that the whole concept of marriage was originally based on. Friends who came to the state for the wedding departed in the afternoon. I was fully blessed to have had their company for the experience.

In yet another bizarre turn Kali and I had agreed to travel to our honeymoon destination on separate aeroplanes. It was something to do with saving money, unfortunately due to the fact that we could both get to New Zealand for free on flyer points. She flew Ansett, I flew Qantas. I met her in New Zealand late in the afternoon on Monday the 23rd of April. We stayed in a guesthouse in the suburb Parnell, which was within walking distance of Auckland. We had a good couple of days together relaxing and enjoying the rest and peace of being by ourselves. We then caught a bus to the Bay of Islands, which is in the northern part of the north island of New Zealand.


We stayed in Paihia, which was a beautiful little bay with the usual holiday tourism facilities available. We booked a tall ship cruise for the following day and relaxed until then.

The following day the tall ship was cancelled so we went on a motorised vessel, which was still more than satisfactory.

We caught a bus back down the north island to Hamilton the following day where we met up with Kali’s friend Vishnu and his partner. They took us to a local party and we had an enjoyable night even though the temperature was close to sub zero. I thoroughly enjoyed talking to a big guy at the party who was a native Maori. For some reason the Maori race seemed to me to be extremely humane and generous.

The following day we went shopping and we were blessed to be taken for a water ski in the local river. Vishnu was really spoiling us and you could tell that he respected Kali as a friend and me as her partner. He let me have a ride of his motorbike and then we went to a ‘new’ pub for its grand opening followed by dinner at one of the most beautiful restaurants I have been to, then to another pub after it. We returned home to Vishnu’s house where both Vishnu and I smoked some ganja. This was the first time I had smoked since the night with Herman at Woodsdale and I thought it was well within reason. Unfortunately Kali did not and this was the point where she initially started to pull away from me on an emotional level following our marriage.

The following morning I smoked some more ganja and then Vishnu drove us to Rotorua to meet my friend Leigh and her partner. On the way from Rotorua to Taupo we were blessed to be taken to the Huka Falls, which had some serious rapids with a most magnificent sight. That night we were taken to some New Zealand hot springs and it was a good experience, however Kali did not feel too close to me emotionally nor physically. Leigh and her partner spoilt Kali and myself by giving us their bed for the night in their beautiful house and they slept in the lounge room. It was totally great company and most hospitable.

The next day I went to the high ropes course, which was a fascinating experience. A series of obstacles and wires were placed at the top of ten metre tall telegraph poles and once at the top of the telegraph pole (and after being securely fastened to a safety

77What On Earth Is Kundalini?harness before leaving the ground) I proceeded to walk along thin bits of wood, a tight rope / wire and a trapeze. The ropes course was great. On the way back to Taupo we visited a shop specialising in utilising honey to produce a varied range of products. We then visited a spiritual retreat at the top of a mountain in Taupo, which was a great experience. We had a nice lunch together then visited some ancient volcanic valley that had one of the most interesting terrestrial environments I have ever visualised.

The following day we were driven back to Rotorua, which had a severe stink of sulphur. We weren’t there long then we were off to Queenstown from the airport. We were allowed in the cockpit of the plane, which was a unique experience for me, and the views during the flight were absolutely magnificent. We kicked back for a day and a half then went for a walk on the Routeburn Track. We caught a van there and the driver was one spun unit (a great character). During the bush walk the views of the valleys and mountains as well as the waterfalls were absolutely spectacular. Upon returning to Queenstown we rested. The following morning we went up a gondola to the tourist centre at the top of the mountain. Once we had passed through and sat above the cloud line the sun and the sky were magnificent and amazing to experience. We had a go on some billy carts and unfortunately I crashed into the tarpaulin boundary and burnt the top of my right hand.

Te Anau was our next destination. From Te Anau we travelled to Milford Sound. We were lucky enough to get a beautiful sunny day, considering it usually rains at least two hundred out of three hundred and sixty-five days per year. I have never seen such sheer mountains shooting up out of the water. Some of them seemed to touch the sky. The lack of rain minimised our experience of viewing some of the most spectacular waterfalls in the world but all things considered we did see some magnificent waterfalls and the whole experience was magic. We were going to go for another bush walk, this time on the Kepler Track but the taxi in the form of a boat did not happen on this day. There was no other option but to just hang out for the day. We hung out for the day but unfortunately Kali was extremely upset due to the expectation she had formed of what we were going to do. We hired some bikes instead and went for a


little ride around the magnificent lake, which was surrounded by beautiful hills. That evening Kali stayed at the hostel and I went by myself to the local pub to watch the State of Origin Rugby League competition between New South Wales and Queensland.

The following day we managed to organise another walk on the Routeburn Track, this time from the other end and it was similarly spectacular. The landscape was magnificent and from up high it was easy to appreciate the reality and shape of glacial movement shaping the landscape. That night we went for a walk around Te Anau and I bought some cheap pornographic movies that were on special in the local second hand shop. Kali was less than impressed but she was still annoyed from the day before and things didn’t seem like improving.

The following day we returned to Queenstown. With all the travelling on the buses I managed to finish reading a great book called “Christ Consciousness” by Norman Paulsen. I bought a new book called “The Life You Were Meant to Live” by Dan Millman. It was a book about numerology, based on an individual’s birth number correlating it to personality traits, desires and situations in life. After working out my birth number I read the pages relevant to it and ‘cut my legs off and call me shorty’ if the literature was not extremely relevant and applicable to my own situation.

After returning to Queenstown, Kali and I went on a jet boat ride, which seemed extremely dangerous and exciting both at the same time and once we had returned safely it was appreciated as a great experience.

The following day we travelled from Queenstown to Franz Joseph Glacier. Kali was getting extremely tired by now with all the movement and constant travel. After spending the night in a hostel we organised a helicopter ride to view the glacier from the top. It was reasonably expensive but well worth the effort and price. Never have I seen such dynamic views of glacial activity. We hung out for the rest of the day and the following day travelled from Franz Joseph Glacier to Christchurch via train. The train was recommended in all the tourist magazines however on this occasion the weather was overcast so the views were limited. The whole train experience was reasonable. Christchurch, I appreciated to be a very relaxed town and some of the activities available were quite alternate. We stayed

79What On Earth Is Kundalini?in a beautiful hostel, which was a magnificent old building with emergency staircases fixed onto the outside of the building. The ceilings were high and luckily it was a heritage building as they were in the process of renovating it after several years of deliberation.

By the end of the honeymoon Kali was extremely worn out, I don’t know how I fared from an objective point of view but from a subjective point of view I still had a lot of energy and was quite content with where I was. We concluded the honeymoon in Christchurch and returned to Hobart again on separate flights. In my diary on the 13th of May Ram had sneakily written, “Hope you enjoyed it Bro.” I certainly did and I hope that Kali felt the same.

Upon arrival back in Australia I aimed to investigate avenues to further enhance my understanding of spiritual philosophies including the workings of Kundalini. I was constantly approaching publishers to try and get my first book distributed and republished and consideration for my second one. “Why The Astros?” was selling extremely slowly and only to people that I knew at cost price. This was mainly due to a lack of time, concentrated effort and lack of marketing. I aimed to cut my days of work back to four days a week at the hospital since five days full time was compromising the rest of my life, and the only thing I passionate about (The Goddess Kundalini). My profession of radiography is absolutely great to be involved in and I am totally blessed to have a situation where employment opportunities are reasonably easy to come by. I aimed to see Cheryl for some one on one work and healing. Also I had a desire to associate with the local Buddhist who ran a Buddhist temple two kilometres from my home. Ji was still working on my web site. Plans for building my Kundalini Research Centre at Dulcot were slowly coming together. Late in May I returned to visit my skater friends and have some ganja. The three of them were extremely happy to see me and I could tell that they both cared for and respected me.

I was wondering about the significance of calling my pet rat Ishtar (she kept me company at the ‘lodge’ before buying Astro). Wondering if it was a coincidence, or divine intervention that I actually named it after a Sanskrit name for the Goddess. I had no idea when I named the rat. All I know was, it was some bogus name of a camel in a movie that starred both Chevy Chase and


Dan Aykroyd. I was convinced that evolution of the human species (as with all

other animated life forms) happens both on a physical and energetic level. I realised that the mind, body and soul are all influenced by the subtle energies. The culture being caught up in the physical may not specifically recognise the great alterations that occur within the mind and soul within the realm of consciousness.

I was not receiving any encouragement or conscious recognition for my passion about Kundalini and the work I had been doing trying to understand it from Kali. From her parents I never actually felt anything but an impression that there was a need for me to conform more to the culturally ‘normal’ and accepted way of life. Being a householder and working most of my life in a job that I was not passionate about was killing me. The job I had I was thankful for and valued it appropriately while still remaining unattached to it. It was not so much the job that was detrimental but more so the imbalanced amount of time it consumed from the rest of my life. Often aspects of my life would be compromised due to over prioritising the aspect of ‘stable’ employment. Besides working five days a week and participating in the shift roster I was also working on a call roster where between 11pm and 7am the hospital would call a radiographer for emergency procedures. I was ‘on-call’ once week on average. My sleep patterns were disturbed and the regularity of my lifestyle was often impeded.

I went and listened to the Monday night lecture at the theosophical society in late May. I do not remember the topic this week. While at the theosophical society I did not read the timetable for the future speakers. About ten days later I received a call from one of my friends at the theosophical society and she informed me that on Monday the 11th of June a lady from the local yoga centre was presenting a talk about yoga, which involved the chakras. She understood that I had been interested in Kundalini and was trying to correlate it to the subtle energy system of the human being. She deemed it appropriate to call me and mention it. I noted it in my diary and planned to attend.

To cope with the compromised lifestyle I had brought upon myself I was smoking ganja on a daily basis with my skater friends S, K and R.

81What On Earth Is Kundalini?On the 11th of June 2001 I listened to the talk and presentation

about yoga and the chakras. I had several questions, which were answered more specifically than most of my questions had been since the 12th of July 1998. I immediately realised that yoga and Kundalini go hand in hand. After the presentation I learnt that the local yoga centre, which was run under the Satyananda Tradition was presenting a twelve-week yoga course focussed purely on the chakras. I informed the lady / Swami that I was interested in attending the course. She asked me if I had ever done any yoga to which I answered yes. She then said, “Do you know salute to the sun (surya namaskara)?” I said, “Is that this one?” She said, “No.” she then informed me that she was available for one night during the week to give me little bit of personal tuition as an introduction and pre-requisite of understanding for the course. On the Monday evening I visited the centre and was totally blessed with this opportunity as well as the individual tuition.

I was regularly attending Cheryl’s circle and Ji was coming along with me. He came for about three or four weeks in a row which was very commendable for such a young lad.

On June the 16th I presented a talk focussed with relevance towards adolescence regarding consciousness. My mates S, K, R, Ji and Brock came to listen to it, I was blessed by their attendance. Kali was also present and it was a bizarre experience both for her to meet the friends I had been spending part of most evenings with and for me to see her interactions with them. The content of the presentation is as follows:

Hello and welcome. It is good to see you here.This talk is mainly about what I wish I knew when I was an

adolescent so hopefully most of the content will sound relevant to you. If you don’t understand something as the talk goes along please put your hand up so we can clarify anything immediately. It is better that we do this so you understand as we go on rather than get left behind.

I will firstly give you a little bit of history about myself. My name is Michael Perring. I work in a hospital taking X-rays. I grew up in N.S.W. and moved to Tasmania two and a half years ago. In 1998 I experienced many things in my life that forced me to look at it and appreciate it from


a deeper level. I now know that there is much more to life than what appears to lie on the surface. I have studied subjects such as math’s, physics, anatomy and biology. I have worked in some major hospitals during the past 10 years.

I like to relate my philosophies to medical and scientific knowledge while putting them in the context of everyday life. What I am about to discuss is my interpretation so I clearly appreciate that the terminology and ideas may vary when compared to anybody else’s.

We will start by defining consciousness.The majority of today’s population are inclined to agree that human

beings are extremely complex creatures that are made up of a Body, Mind and Soul.

(So we’ll write those headings on the whiteboard – Body, Mind & Soul)

I would personally define these as follows:The Body is the purely physical aspect. (For example – You feel

it.)The Mind is the analytical and rational aspect. (For example –

Bread, Work, Shoes.)(It is the part of us that we know thinks for us, we are conscious of

it so we could call it our conscious mind).The Soul is the emotional and intuitive aspect. (For example –

Phone, School.)(It is the part of us that most people are unconscious of. Or even if

we are aware of it we are unconscious of how it works. So we could call it our unconscious mind).

Since the conscious and unconscious minds are forms of intelligence then we could say that together they make up CONSCIOUSNESS.

So we are consciousness expressing itself through a body.If we broke the human being up into three parts we can appreciate

that two out of the three are non-physical and invisible. It makes me wonder why we place so much emphasis on the body. Can anyone tell me why this is so?

Perhaps because:We interpret our surroundings with what is known as the 5 physical senses.These are sight, touch, smell, taste and hearing.

83What On Earth Is Kundalini?The Mind interprets, analyses and rationalises our surroundings.

We literally analyse the events and experiences in our life and live according to them.

We have been conditioned or taught to emphasise the Body. Taking all of this into account, I believe it would be fair to say that

we currently live in a society that primarily focuses towards the Body and the Mind.

We could call this a Mind Body society. (Outline on whiteboard – Mind = Left brain. Soul = Right

brain.)So at the moment we are living in a very “Left side of brain

world”.We can demonstrate this further by appreciating that the majority

of people in our culture are right handed. The right side of our body is controlled and operated by the left side of our brain. This is why a lot of left-handed people appear to be creative and intuitive.

This clearly shows how today’s society is imbalanced. In my opinion this is the major cause for most of the dramas within society. I believe that most problems are created due to the ignorance that occurs from a lack of appreciation of our soul. We will talk more about this aspect later but for now hopefully you can see that an imbalance must occur when one third of us (our soul) is literally ignored.

It is commonly stated that our male qualities or energies are operating through the left side of our brain or conscious mind. When we are concerned with the physical aspects of life this part of us is working. This could be why the majority of males act and justify their behaviour according to the satisfaction they will receive from the physical components in their life.

Some basic examples of this are: A male willbuy a car because it looks good and goes fast.buy a dog because of how it looks.try to fix things and build things by himself.end up working in a trade or physical job.choose a girlfriend by how she looks as well as other things.play sport to physically be better than his opponents.emphasise his appearance.often encourage sexual exploitation.


These are a few examples on a list that could be almost endless. Please bear in mind that these examples do not apply to all males because just like our fingerprints and eyes we are all unique.

The right side of our brain is where our female qualities and energies come into play. But a female, well she’s a whole different story. She must use the left side of her brain (her conscious mind) in order to live within this mind body society. When the history of our culture is taken into account it is easy to appreciate that historically we have been strongly influenced and dominated by males. These males have been physically superior and have dominated by physical means such as having the strongest and most gruesome armies. This is not at all a good thing because a balance is essential in anything we do. At present the dominant male culture is changing for the better with females gaining equality in many spheres throughout the world.

As stated previously, a female has had to use the left side of brain to cope within our current society, however a female is much more prone to using the intuitive and emotional (right) side of her brain. This is why we have coined the phrase “women’s intuition”. So if females are utilising both sides of their brain (their conscious and unconscious minds) they may very well be more balanced.

There is of course the chance they have been so harshly conditioned by society they have more or less turned off their intuition, emotions and creativity. This is not the case for most. To emphasise this point it is easy to appreciate that the majority of females seek satisfaction and fulfillment in both the physical and non-physical aspects of life. I do realise that at times it is not at all wise to compare females to males and vice versa, however in this case it is a good way to appreciate the differences.

For example a female will tend to:buy a car for both the safety, comfort and appearance. (This is probably why a car salesman may say something like this to the male – this car has a V6 engine and it’s fuel consumption is good when you take in to account the power and speed you get, there are also plenty of optional extras for this model. They will probably say something like this to the female – this car is quiet, smooth and comfortable. It is very safe, easy to drive and comes in a range of colours).buy a pet for emotional reasons and perhaps because of its nature, or the look in the puppies eyes.


get things fixed or built by professionals rather than do it by herself.(especially in the past) females were more inclined to work in the so-called caring professions such as within a hospital (i.e. nursing), teaching, hospitality or as assistants. Thankfully this is no longer the case and a balance is evening out the female/male ratio within a lot of industries.often choose a boyfriend because of his personality and whom he is rather than how he looks and what he does. For a lot of males this may help to explain the fact that they don’t understand why some very physically attractive women have a boyfriend who appears to not be physically attractive. have friendships for the emotional aspect.have sex for both emotional and physical reasons.These behavioural patterns are general in nature and are continually

changing. Thankfully the change within the western culture is happening on a global scale. We have needed to appreciate life and our lifestyle from both perspectives for a long time.

Now that the evidence has been clearly demonstrated and understood we can all consciously aim towards balance in all aspects of our lives. The benefits and results of this balance will soon become evident.

So hopefully everyone has been able to get their heads around the talk so far.

Lets talk now about one of my favourite topics – Energy. Like everything known to man there are two components. They work

together as part of a whole. They can be defined as:Positive / NegativeExternal / Internal

Dark / LightHot / ColdSoft / Hard

Male / FemaleMicrocosm / Macrocosm

Atom / AtmanConscious / Unconscious

Finite / Infinite


Two factors working together as part of the one are also evident in the cycles of nature.

This concept can be directly related to the two sides of our brain.Left – Conscious – Male and Right – Unconscious – Female.The balance needed between the two is exemplified by the Yin and

Yang symbol.It symbolises balance and harmony.You see two forces together and apart. There is a bit of each in each other.

Hopefully you can appreciate this concept. It states that within everything there is two opposing yet complementary forces or energies that work together to form a whole.

Let’s look at another concept and try to bring it into perspective.Does everyone know what an atom is?An atom is the smallest known particle. Everything in the world is made up of atoms. So atoms join other atoms to form all gases, liquids and solids known to man. From scientific analysis we know that the atom is made up of three elements. These are the proton, neutron and electron.The best way to describe the physical make up of an atom is to use

the hydrogen atom. We can use the analogy of an AFL field to describe what an atom would look like. If we placed two AFL balls in the centre of the field (draw on whiteboard) they could represent both the proton and neutron. The proton is positively charged and the neutron is neutral (no charge). Together they form the nucleus. If we left these two balls in the centre and walked to the sideline and placed the third ball on it (draw on whiteboard) this one would represent the electron which is negatively charged. If we ran that electron around the AFL field at approximately 60 million times per second (give or take a few million) then this would be a vague representation of the atom on an extremely large scale.

So if you were standing on the outside of the field/atom and looked towards the centre it would appear solid because of the speed at which the electron orbits the nucleus. From your limited perception you would start to think and believe that the atom was solid. In actual fact when you take everything into account you can clearly see that the atom is made up of mostly space and hardly any of it is solid.

The atomic elements are electrically charged. This allows them to attract and/or repel other elements, atoms or molecules within their vicinity.

87What On Earth Is Kundalini?Since the electron is continually moving and anything that

continually moves creates electricity it creates an electric field around the atom. (draw electric field around the atom on the whiteboard)

(Elaborate on these examples) Some examples of you creating electricity by movement may be walking on carpet, rubbing a plastic comb or rod or experiments with that belt thing in science.

Since it has been proven that the atom has an electric field around it I believe it would be fair to say that if we are made up of zillions of atoms we must have an electric field around us. (draw a stickman with EF on whiteboard) This may help to explain why you may feel comfortable standing next to some people and uncomfortable near others. Or why sometimes you walk into a room and know that there has been an argument in there.

Some people may take a step back and say this is not true. They may be the people that say, “I don’t believe something unless I can see it”. I would say that this is all well and good for them. But do you believe that you can hear me now? Can you see the sound? What is voice and hearing? It is the movement and vibration of invisible particles. They start here in my larynx or vocal chords. A vibration occurs according to what I want to say and then some how it travels through the air, lands on and vibrates your tympanic membrane or eardrum. The same can be said for television. Do you see little pictures flying through the air waiting to land in your TV? No, the picture is acquired in a studio by a camera and then it is broken down into electrical current or vibration and transmitted invisibly through the air. It is sent out in all directions and somehow mysteriously received by your aerial. The aerial recognises the signal and according to its vibration reinterprets it to form a picture on your television. Also on a hot day, you don’t see the heat from the sun but you certainly feel it. Sunburn clearly has an invisible cause. There definitely are things that exist and we don’t see so people can believe anything they want but they can’t ignore the truth.

Since this energy field is not physical and invisible we don’t give it any recognition. Realistically we are being manipulated and influenced on this level much more than we are aware. The media, multinational corporations, society and everyone within it is interacting on this level in some way. Some people are aware of it and some aren’t. Advertising


and television are two of the biggest forms of manipulation today. That is why we are constantly bombarded with information telling us what to wear, where to live, how big to have our house, what to buy, what to drink, what to eat, how to look, what music to listen to and how to live to be happy.

Some examples are: The catchy jingles used to advertise productsAdvertising with the use of famous peopleAssociating food with a friendly clown and his friendsHaving an hourglass figure bottleGlossy magazine companies Advertising with near naked beautiful men and womenAll of the smart companies seem to use red in their logos, because red is an emotional colour.Now we’ll look at things a bit closer to home and I will try to explain

how both ourselves and the people we interact with either consciously or unconsciously take on roles to control our immediate situations. I like the definitions and explanations given by the author of the book titled The Celestine Prophecy. In the book the author (James Redfield) seperates the controlling roles that people take on into two categories. Please keep in mind that at any time we may play any of the roles but we have one predominant role that we play to control a lot of situations. Most of the time the roles that we play or fall into, we ourselves are not aware or conscious of.

He has split them into two different types of relationships. The first one is the relationship of the intimidator v’s poor me. A few examples of how these roles are played out are as follows:Some doctors at the hospital who work in theatre gain energy and control from intimidating the nurses.(Elaborate) They feel better about it and the nurses don’t feel so good. Then lunchtime comes around and the nurses go to the tearoom and tell their colleagues “poor me” I just had to work with so and so. They control their situation by draining a bit of energy from their colleagues. Soon after this type of interaction the poor me is feeling a bit better and the colleague isn’t feeling as good as they were.


People seen above others on the heirachial ladder intimidate the people below them. (This may be done either consciously or unconsciously).Parents trying to discipline a child. What happens when a parent smacks a child? If the child cries the parent is content. If the child laughs, then the parent is not happy. Because in the latter there is no transfer of energy and control by intimidation.My own personal example would be as follows ;My brother (Ram) and I would have an argument. He would intimidate me by saying if you don’t do that Michael I’ll punch your head in. I wouldn’t do what he wanted me to do so he wasn’t receiving energy through his intimidation tactics so he would punch my head in. I would cry and he would receive energy that way. After being beaten up I would call for my Mum. Mum and/or Dad would come to help me and I would say “poor me”, Ram just beat me up. My parents would comfort me so I felt better. They would feel drained of energy so they would discipline Ram. This is good example because it shows how the energy and control is cyclic. Ram gets it from me, I get it from my parents and they get it back from Ram.Car park on Thursday.With these examples hopefully everyone can appreciate the

intimidator/poor me relationship. When you think about it you can clearly see how these roles are played in your own life.

The other relationship for controlling the situation is titled interrogator v’s aloof. I am sure everyone can appreciate these roles from personal experience. The interrogator is an interesting one because at first they appear to be interested in your life and they ask questions to find out about it. At first you happily tell them what they want to know. They respond by finding what they see as a fault in your life and tell you about it. They express their concern or unhappiness with what you have chosen to do. May be this is through genuine concern or perhaps they think they know better. In my opinion these people are more inclined to find something in your life that they perceive as negative and tell you about it rather than look at their own life and fix the negative things in it. I have found that it is much easier to look at others and judge them than to look at myself


and judge that. To find, accept and work out your own faults will be the hardest job any of you ever do. I believe it would be more difficult to know yourself than to work in an eight hour a day job (i.e. five days out of every seven) for the majority of your life, which is already hard enough.

It’s better if we explain the aloof role before I set down some examples because these two roles are very closely related.

Does everyone know what aloof means?Stand-offish, vague, distant and generally non-specific.People, to control their situation when they don’t like being

questioned play the aloof role. So rather than give specific answers that someone may not like we are inclined to give general impressions in order to remain distant. This way it is much harder for anyone to find faults or not like anything specific about your life.

Some examples of the interrogator/aloof relationship are:When parents ask where are you going. The first time you tell them that you are going to James’. They tell you that they never liked James and he hangs out with the wrong crowd so you shouldn’t go there. The next time they ask where are you going, you say just to a friends or lie and say you are going to visit someone that you know they like. Then you go off and visit James anyway.Like when someone goes to court to answer questions about specific things, i.e. tax fraud or their location on a specific day. To gain control of the situation they may be inclined to use lines like I can’t remember or I forget. My own personal example of this relationship was with an ex girlfriend. When I was at high school I would go and visit some of my friends. We would smoke marijuana together. My girlfriend did not like marijuana. After visiting my friends I would visit her. Upon arrival she would say hello and ask the general questions where have you been, what have you been doing? I would say I have been at Chris’ and we smoked a bit of pot. She would say something like “you know you shouldn’t be doing that”. But up until she said that, I had been enjoying myself and personally quite content with the choices I had made. So the next time the same situation arose and I had been smoking pot with Chris and visited her afterwards she would ask the same general questions when I arrived. This time I answered the questioned with an aloof response to allow myself control of the

91What On Earth Is Kundalini?situation. I was totally unaware of this at the time but I answered something like this. Where have you been? – Here and there. What have you been up to? – This and that. She was then unable to find a fault in my life due to me being non-specific in my answers.So hopefully these examples give you the chance to appreciate the

interrogator/aloof relationship. I am not saying that everyone should go out and try and control every situation they experience by conscious use of these roles. All I am attempting to do is give everyone the chance to understand and appreciate how these relationships may work by clearly stating their significance in certain situations.

Now we’ll recall the concept of two opposing yet complementary energies and how they fit into relationships. Let’s say that this drawing is the male energy and this drawing is the female energy. We are aware that the two halves make a whole but there are two choices available to me. Being a male I need this female energy so I can either get it from outside of myself or inside of myself. Let’s concentrate on outside first.

Keep in mind that these examples do not apply to everyone. Let’s say as a child I grow up at home with my parents. I get my

feminine energy from my Mum who is an external source. (For a female she already has the feminine energy so she receives her masculine energy from her Dad). This is why we have coined the phrases “Mummy’s little boy” and “Daddy’s little girl”. Unconsciously we are attracted to an external source that completes our energy. We can appreciate many examples when we look open mindedly at today’s society.

We’ll look at males first. A young boy grows up at home. He seeks a lot of gratification from the physical things in his life. When he hurts himself either physically or emotionally he receives emotional gratification from his Mum. This goes on until puberty. Often he is not encouraged to express his emotions honestly or in a constructive or creative way. When he reaches puberty he starts to develop a big interest in the opposite sex. Perhaps having a girlfriend that he visits. So he is now receiving his feminine energy from two sources outside of himself, both his Mother at home and his girlfriend where ever they meet.Or perhaps he moves out of home and in with his mates. While living away from his parents he tries to visit them regularly. Mum may even wash his clothes or cook some freezable meals for him. He may or may not have a girlfriend that visits him. So he is still


unconsciously receiving his feminine energy from outside sources such as his mother and perhaps a girlfriend. If he doesn’t have a girlfriend then he may have a big desire to go out on the weekends to interact with females in whatever way possible.So up until approximately 20 years of age (give or take five years

either side) the wholeness of his energy is being completed from sources outside of himself. The picture is similar for females up until this point in their life, however females as stated previously may be more balanced and therefore more independent.

The situation for the male may go on for a long time. A classic example is when he moves in with his girlfriend around the age of twenty. Everything for both him and her appears rosy at this point in time. Both don’t know that they are dependant on each other for the completion of their energy but soon enough the relationship becomes suboptimal. At first the female doesn’t mind fitting into Mum’s shoes as she may feel it to be her “role”.

Since females now work as much as males the situation soon becomes unfair for the female. She may put up with it and even have children to form a family unit. He thinks everything is still rosy. She may get to her mid thirties and realise the relationship is inharmonious and too draining. She tells him about her feelings and gives him a few chances to change. He may be able to appreciate her point of view and alter things accordingly so they live happily together. If things don’t change she leaves him either with or without the children.

She then wants to spend some much needed time by herself and learn to enjoy her own company before starting another relationship.

He may go off and find a twenty something year old girlfriend who will once again take on his mother’s role and provide him with the feminine energy he craves from a source outside of himself. You may laugh but this actually happens, just look around.

There are lots of people around like this and they could be termed as co-dependant. Being co-dependant implies that these people are in some way dependant on someone outside of themselves to be whole.

Examples of this; they were both couples that I knew in N.S.W. If we look at relationships objectively we can learn to appreciate the relationships that have the goal of two people becoming one often end up with two half

93What On Earth Is Kundalini?people. When one person demands things from the other person, expectations are formed. When expectations are formed but not fulfilled disappointment results. Disappointment then leads to disharmony, which in turn creates a breakdown within the relationship.

I have observed this type of relationship with Herman and Alice. Herman is a tradesman and was raised in a Lebanese family where the mother was the child bearer and the housekeeper. The father was the breadwinner / moneymaker and the handyman around the house. These roles were subconsciously imprinted in Herman’s mind, which led to him living them out. Soon after Herman married Alice there seemed to be a lot of tension within the relationship. They always seemed to be arguing about anything. From my observations this disharmony was created because they seemed co-dependant rather than inter-dependant. Herman played the role of the handyman, tradesman and moneymaker. He also had expectations of Alice to be the housekeeper, be the meal preparer, make bill payments and organise paperwork as well as childbearing when the appropriate time arrived. Alice on the other hand fulfilled the role of housekeeper, meal preparer, bill payer and paperwork organiser, also as she did not have to child bear at this point in time she worked part time. Her expectations of Herman were for him to be a handyman, tradesman and money maker.

I don’t know the specific reasons behind it, perhaps the requirement of Alice to work as well as fulfil the other roles led to the couple seemingly always argue and be in conflict. Realistically the energies in this relationship were more forceful, competitive and egotistical rather than synchronised and harmonious.

The other type of relationship that is noticeable is the one where two individuals aim to become two. This way the two individuals consciously form a partnership and realistically try to live in harmony. As each one is perceived as an individual they have freedom of choice and actions while having and maintaining honour and integrity.

In such a relationship demands are kept to a minimum and in turn less expectations result. Hopefully this leads to understanding, respect, harmony and balance within the relationship. With harmony existing within the relationship fewer breakdowns occur.

I have observed this type of relationship between Georgio and Belinda. Even though they agreed to become husband and wife and live in a monogamous heterosexual relationship they still respect each other as individuals. Each one


of them has their own interests, hobbies, careers and circle of friends but they still maintain a lot of similar interests, beliefs and friends. In this relationship harmony is easier to maintain because there are individual outlets for both of them. When they are together they seem more openly loving and understanding of each other’s physical, mental and emotional requirements.

The ongoing changes in attitude within society show us how a natural equilibrium is forming and the females are working just as long as the males. So it is no wonder why the relationship between Herman and Alice (which was codependent) became inharmonious and the relationship where two people were interdependent was harmonious.

I believe the goal is to be whole and complete by yourself. If you can somehow complete this circle without looking outside of yourself to do so then the interactions and relationships in your life are bound to change for the better.

When I say this I do not mean that for a male to get in touch with his feminine energy he has to wear a skirt, play with dolls or be camp. I am saying that we are made up of three aspects (the Body, Mind and Soul) which is comprised of two energies (masculine and feminine). To be balanced, every part of you needs recognition and your gut feelings and emotions are as important as any other part. Your life will benefit when your creative energy is focussed in positive directions.

Likewise for a female by saying that you need to balance your masculine side does not call for a need to build things, physically fight or drive the fastest car. It is merely appreciating and recognising every part of you. Your life too will benefit when your rational analytical side is balanced with your emotional side.

Once people are balanced within themselves they have a much greater chance of living in interdependant relationships. In such relationships they do not need anything from outside of themselves to be happy. Once you are happy with yourself you will find that you dislike less people, be able to laugh at yourself, be happy with who you are and who you want to be and you will be more tolerant and understanding of others.

In my opinion one of the key components of life is to be complete. To do this it is strongly advised that you spend some time by yourself. I don’t mean playing computer games or listening to loud music in your room. Spend some time alone when it is quiet and try to listen to and get in touch with your thoughts and feelings. The thoughts that you hear when most of the outside world is turned off are the important ones.

95What On Earth Is Kundalini?When you think about it, we as humans are very social creatures

and don’t often like to or choose to spend time by ourselves. We often spend time:

Within the family unit.At school or work and travelling to and from them.Shopping.Driving.With friends or partners.

So apart from being asleep we don’t often spend a lot of time by ourselves.

If we can be happy with our own company and balance both our physical and non physical aspects then it will be easier to maintain our own integrity. If we are aware of how other people, activities and society impinge on and influence our energy then the more we can act appropriately in almost any of life’s situations.

So when I say integrity, imagine this to be you or me.(Draw stickman and circle around him on the whiteboard)This is the physical body made up of atomsAnd this is our own personal energy field.During every moment of our lives our energy field is being affected.

We can learn to maintain it’s integrity but allow ourselves to give energy where ever it is needed without depleting the amount we require for ourselves. This is one of the key areas we can focus towards to create balance in our lives.

INTERMISSION FOR FIVE MINUTESThere is a quote that reads “If you consume something enough it starts to consume you”. This can be relevant to almost any aspect of your life.I like to explain it like this: Your life and every part of is

like a pie chart. (Draw a pie chart on the whiteboard) Here’s you in the middle and the whole pie is your life. Your life is broken up into different parts that are totally unique for you.Can any one suggest anything that takes up a certain portion of

their life? We need eight things for this example. Let’s say that this is my pie chart or life and these are the things that I give priority in my life. They are all significant and important to me and they each take up a certain amount of my attention, time and energy.


Let’s just give a brief outline of how much time I give each of them. (i.e. Sleep 30%, Work 25%, Money 10%, Relationship 12%, Friendships 5%, Leisure activities and hobbies 8%, Pet care 5%, House and garden maintenance 5%.

Ok, now let’s say that I gave one of these things so much emphasis that it became the dominant factor. I would have to take a little bit of emphasis off of the other aspects with the possibility I might end up overemphasising one aspect at the expense of the others. The aspect that I overemphasise would start to dominate my life and all decisions within it. Soon enough my pie chart would have gone from this to something like this. We see that this imbalanced pie chart has one main feature and the others are all secondary to it. I have my own personal example here. It has to do with marijuana.

When I was at high school quite some time ago my friends and I were young and experimental. We started off smoking marijuana every couple of months. A few of us liked it so we soon started smoking it every month. Then as we started going out together on the weekends we started smoking it every weekend. I was happy to do this on weekends instead of drinking alcohol because you don’t have to be over 18 to do it, it’s works out to be cheaper and it relaxes you instead of aggravates you. I was also continuing to do well at school and it seemed to fit into my lifestyle. I smoked it on and off for several years socially on some weekends. About the age of twenty-four I was in a long-term relationship and during the first year I experienced emotional turmoil. Since I am male I was not use to expressing my emotions openly and did not deal with them and I turned to marijuana as an escape. I stayed in the relationship and compromised because the whole concept of a relationship was appealing to me. Whether I was happy or not didn’t matter. I started smoking marijuana daily and more or less dulled my emotions to merely exist within the relationship. This is what I thought I was supposed to do. So you can clearly appreciate how my marijuana habit had started to consume me and influence every other aspect of my life. I went from this to this. Needless to say during the rest of that relationship I was not happy.

So the habit had turned from use to abuse. When it was use. I consciously made a choice to make it a part of my life. I was happy each time I did it and my lifestyle was easy to maintain.

97What On Earth Is Kundalini?When it became abuse it was more of an unconscious choice (perhaps

a habit). I was not happy with myself after I did it and my lifestyle required a lot more effort to maintain. This not only applies to substance abuse but literally any aspect of our lives.

With reference once again to the quote “If you consume something enough it starts to consume you”. I believe that there are seven major things that have consumed today’s society. This has happened to such an extent that they are clearly the most dominant areas within our lifestyle. Let’s write them down. Can anyone make any suggestions as to what they think these might be?

(Money, Work, Physical appearance, Sex, Alcohol, Materialism and Status).

I imagine that initially we (as a society) started out consuming and using these things. Somewhere in there we overemphasised them to such an extent that we now abuse them and they consume us. So use or abuse, the choice is yours and yours alone. There is an excellent quote that may seem relevant now. It reads “The chains of habit are so subtle that you are unaware of them until you realise they are too strong to break”.

If we still have time let’s talk about subconscious states. Firstly what is a fully conscious state? Personally I would define a conscious state as “the state you are in when you are fully aware that as a human you are composed of a Body, Mind and Soul”. It’s a state where your body and soul are consciously connected by the mind. Your life is lived with acknowledgement and respect equally given to each of these components.

I believe it would be fair to say that a subconscious state is any state of being where equal priority is not given to all three components. If we currently live within a society where few people acknowledge or recognise (let alone live according to) their soul I believe it would be within reason to say that people with this mentality are living a subconscious existence.

Sometimes the proportion or amount of recognition given to any one of these aspects may vary at different times but hopefully in the long run we live a life equally prioritising our whole being.

For example:


At times we may live primarily focussed on the body (Say 75% Body, 15% Mind and 10% Soul) while doing physical exercise.

At other times we may be primarily focussed towards our conscious mind (Say 60% Mind, 30% Body and 10% Soul), perhaps while doing an exam.

The third part of the equation is the most interesting. Giving ourselves time to get in touch with our unconscious mind is probably the hardest out of the three and something that very few of us do. There are many ways to get in touch with our unconscious mind.

Some are safe and others not so safe. In order to do so we have to switch off the constant chatter and thoughts of our conscious mind.

The easiest (but definitely not the safest) way to turn our minds off is through substance abuse. Drugs such as marijuana, trips (LSD), magic mushrooms and ecstasy have been known to slow the body and mind down to such an extent that they “expand the mind”. Perhaps this phrase means that people are able to take a risk with their body and conscious mind in order to get in touch with their unconscious mind. Alcohol has a similar effect when a small but significant amount is ingested. People say they don’t abuse it but sure enough after a couple their body and mind is slowed down. This can be seen in the simple fact that “tipsy” people tend to express their true emotions and feelings. When any substance is used or abused there is a risk and very thin line between safety and danger. I personally do not encourage any of you to partake in unnatural intoxication. I merely state these facts so people can honestly and openly appreciate them. You can appreciate how if this type of state is artificially induced it is not at all controlled. If we do not act wisely then we may very well take it to the extreme where we become 100% unconscious, in other words die. Then we will only be dealing with our unconscious mind, that is defined here as our soul.

We’ll once more refer to the stickman diagram. (Draw two stickmen on the whiteboard)Here’s me! As I take these artificial substances in the integrity of

my energy field is altered and substantially weakened. It may even develop holes or gaps. It appears something like this. Once the holes

99What On Earth Is Kundalini?have developed I increase my chances of being influenced by energy vibrations outside of it.

If I am extremely lucky I am influenced by mostly good vibrations (i.e. ecstasy). I am in love with everything and everyone and I see the world differently, as if it is all connected and I am a part of everything. I am also happy with myself. This is why ecstasy became so popular so quickly and is commonly referred to as the love drug. However it is now being made anywhere and as cheap as possible. Even Dodgy Joe in his unhygienic dingy garage is in on the act. He isn’t in it for safety or purity, he is solely there to make money. The drugs these days contain millions of disastrous chemicals that make them impure and totally unsafe. This impurity is a major factor compromising the safety of any drug experimentation. This is the reason why a lot of drug use is followed by very negative periods. Perhaps it is the reason why people are so open to the negative vibrations. Being in an unconscious state such as this may help to explain why some people under the influence of artificial substances behave in aggressive and harmful ways. The majority of violent crimes are performed whilst the assailant is under some form of artificial intoxication. Some criminals even go to the extent of saying “I heard voices” or “the devil made me do it”.

A friend once said to me “When you take the drugs that give you a feeling of positive energy, at the time of taking them you feel like you have endless amounts. Realistically it is as if you borrow positive energy from the next day or perhaps the whole week. Then when you get to that next day or week you don’t have any positive energy left. It is as if you use it in advance”. I personally like this explanation, especially how it relates to the negative experience of coming down.

We will flip sides of the coin now and talk about the more positive forms used to focus towards controlled unconscious states.

I don’t know if anyone is aware of it or not but we are all privileged to be alive today. It is a very exciting time for the consciousness of the whole human race. Today we have technology like never before known on the planet. We also have an infiltration of knowledge and wisdom that is unique and readily available. We have philosophies from many countries and each of them give specific techniques on how to get into a controlled unconscious state. For many generations (perhaps even millennia) this


knowledge has been passed down verbally within local communities, tribes or cultures. Now, a lot of it is available to the world.

We have information and guidelines that focus towards and teach relaxation exercises such as meditation, yoga, tai chi, chi kung, drumming and chanting. All of these activities focus on the continued practice of correct concentration, breathing and posture. These techniques some how maximise and balance the energy flow in the body by releasing toxins and clearing blockages.

Don’t be frightened by these words or concepts. They are not at all scary. I have my own definition of meditation and it reads “Meditation is thinking about something so much that you are not thinking”. So meditation can be done anywhere and almost any time. The only requirements are being sober and turning off your conscious mind enough to get in touch with your unconscious mind.

Why do you think so many great ideas come to people whilst they are on the toilet! They aren’t thinking about too much else except going to the toilet and then soon enough they are so focussed on that one thing that they are no longer thinking. I find that for me personally I often experience this sort of frame of mind while I am shaving my head with my clippers. This is where I am thinking about my haircut so much that I am not thinking. Some simple forms of meditation could include looking at a sunrise or sunset. Going for a bush walk or perhaps riding a horse. Why do you think people like doing their hobbies so much or surfers like surfing and runners like running. Simply because they get into that zone where they are not thinking.

This list could literally be endless, as the forms and types of meditation vary significantly. Just like your fingerprints you are unique so only you can choose for yourself what feels good and suits you and your needs. Sure listen to advice but there is no need to conform if you don’t feel like you want to. Remember that advice is always there, you don’t have to take it.

The main thing you need in your life is to be happy and accepting of yourself. This will definitely lead to balance and balance is essential.

So let’s sum up the talk and see how all of these concepts fit together.

-We as humans are made up of a Body, Mind and Soul.

101What On Earth Is Kundalini?-We can be defined as Consciousness expressing itself by the use of a

body.-We live in a society that is imbalanced due to a lack of recognition

and acknowledgement of our soul. -The atom has an Electric Field around it, so humans must have

an Electric Field around them. -This Electric Field influences our Health and Happiness-There is two opposing yet complementary energies working together

throughout everything known. -These energies are both inside and outside of us.-People can help themselves by appreciating both the non-physical

and physical aspects in their lives. -By living your life prioritising equally to your Body, Mind and

Soul a balance and benefits will soon resultTHANK YOU FOR COMING,I APPRECIATE YOU GIVING ME SOME OF YOUR

TIME…….

June the 19th 2001 represented two years from my first date with Kali. It came and went just like any other day.

I had been reading some fantastic books during the last two and a half years and my work colleagues were amazed at what seemed like an endless supply of the most bizarre books on Earth. Some of the books prior to the realisation that the experience I endured on the 12th of July 1998 was a full spontaneous Kundalini awakening were predominately related to spiritual matters.

They included:“The Life And Teachings Of The Masters Of The Far East.”(Volumes one to five) By Baird J Spaulding“The Law Of One”. (The books of ra) (Volumes one to four) By Elkins, Rueckhart, McCarty.“The Celestine Prophecy.” By James Redfield.“The Anatomy Of The Spirit.” By Caroline Myss.Some of the books that I had recently read were more specifically

related to Kundalini. These were:


“Kundalini: The Evolutionary Energy In Man”.“The Dawn Of A New Science.”“The Awakening Of Kundalini.”“Ancient Secrets Of Kundalini.”“Secrets Of Kundalini In Panchastavi.”“Reason And Revelation.”“The Biological Basis Of Religion And Genius.” By Gopi Krishna.“Kundalini West.” By Anne Ree Colton.“The Theories Of The Chakras: The Bridge To Higher Consciousness.” By Hiroshi Motyama“Spirals of Growth.” By Bright JohnsonThere were more than fifty other related books that I had read

but the ones listed appeared to be the most significant. I visited one of the rare people in Hobart that I could relate to

because of the fact that she had experienced a Kundalini awakening also. She was now a clairvoyant and one of the best people in my life to provide reassurance at desperate times of need.

A young man named Henry called me to discuss his natural ability of clairvoyance. He informed me that someone had told him that I had written a book and that I may be able to help him within the Hobart region to both establish himself as a recognised clairvoyant and persuade a publisher to publish a book about his life. I informed him of my own personal situation and how I self published my book, I was not into promoting clairvoyance and within the Hobart region my reputation was somewhat limited. I did agree to meet him, if not for anything else, just for the experience.

The following day I met Henry for lunch and he was bizarre. He was totally introverted and appeared somewhat imbalanced. He informed me that since he was a child he had a natural ability to be clairvoyant, so I tested him. His interpretation of me psychically was somewhat vague and ambiguous. I did not feel comfortable in the energy of Henry and I knew that he needed professional guidance that I was not capable of.

The yoga course that focussed predominately on the chakras started on the 29th June 2001. I noted around this time to keep

103What On Earth Is Kundalini?my main focus as enjoying life and concentrate on some practical research for Kundalini by working on the chakras.

I was approaching the Mind Body Spirit Festival organisers in an attempt to present something about Kundalini and human consciousness.

I was regularly visiting the chiropractor for the treatment of pain that was located in my right sacroiliac joint. I had been visiting several chiropractors for the last couple of years for treatment on the region and I was now on to my third. The first chiropractor seemed to be power focussed and had three rooms with one patient in each at each time. It was run like a production line and the contact with the chiropractor was for anything from four to ten minutes. He had an inclination to repeat the same treatment process irrespective of my own individual circumstances that week. The second one was certainly more patient oriented and would spend up to forty-five minutes with me. His treatment process was less intense and he emphasised the body’s natural ability to compensate, thus the treatment was less effective. The third chiropractor utilised a different technique and she had a good balance between treatment times, practical techniques and patient care. There is no wonder why her practice is regularly booked out,. I was wondering if the monthly treatment of my spine, especially the base region was unconsciously related to constantly stimulating my sacral region, very close to the seat of Kundalini.

This following interaction is a good example of the detrimental flow that has sometimes been experienced in my life due to how specific I am these days. Maybe as a result of the side affect of the awakened energy, who knows?

I was anticipating a tax refund in the near future so plans were being made to spend it. I had been checking out televisions of the flat screen variety for at least a year and was now content on my choice of which one to buy. Kali did not really care what sort of TV we were going to have but she said that a sixty-eight-centimetre screen is probably too intense for such a small lounge room. My personal opinion was that it did not matter if the television took up the whole wall, the bigger the picture the better.

Upon deciding the specific make and model of the television I proceeded to the local electrical store to place a deposit on the


television and order it. I investigated the price for the television and had received several quotes prior to entering the store. The storeman informed me for that specific make and the ABC model they would do the best price. I thought it was the right thing to do since they were the local established store and not some big chain store that maximises profit at the expense of service. I said to the storeman, “I want the ABC model TV, sixty-eight-centimetre screen and I want it silver in colour.” He said, “I think that it only comes in one colour.” I said, “I am not too sure how many colours it comes in but I am certainly sure that it is available in silver and that is the one that I want.” He agreed to order the specific model, size and colour. The price did not include delivery. I paid the deposit, signed the documents and left.

Four weeks later it was organised that Kali would pick it up from the store. It took serious effort for two hefty storeman to place it into the back of Kali’s car. She left it in the car when she arrived home and I got the neighbours assistance to bring it inside. It was all boxed up and I was a little excited about opening it. I opened the box carefully and confirming my intuition I was unpleasantly surprised to discover that my new television was gunmetal grey in colour rather than silver. I immediately called the store and informed the salesman I had dealt with. He did not seem too keen to help me and he said, “They only come in one colour.” I said, “Thank you.” And I hung up. I called the company representative within Australia that was responsible for understanding the specific manufacturing of their products. I asked the person at the headquarters how many colours the ABC model came in to which she replied, “Two.” I said let me guess, there’s a gunmetal grey one and a silver one.” She said, “That’s correct.” I said, “Thank you for your time.” And I hung up. I then called the salesman back and informed him of the situation, to which he was somewhat open but less than impressed. I told him to come and pick up the grey television and order me the silver one. Amazingly the gunmetal grey television was picked up almost immediately and within a week we had the silver one sitting in our lounge room. It makes me wonder why it took four weeks initially to order and receive the gunmetal grey one.

105What On Earth Is Kundalini?Unfortunately we did not have anything to sit the television on

since it was so big. I told Kali that I would build a cabinet to go under the television. She snickered and dropped the tone that I was incapable of building such a thing. She did however let me have a bit of leeway this time as I had already proved that I could build a vegetable garden. It was a slow and gradual process that only took me the best part of two days with heaps of breaks in between and I probably smoked copious amounts of Ganja in the process.

Around this time I finally got around to organising a massage that I received as a gift voucher for my wedding. I went for the massage and it went for less than an hour and was in no way therapeutic. The lady basically rubbed my skin in what seemed like a very unsystematic way. This left me wondering how many people are actually out there practicing and presenting themselves as something that they are not. She seemed either extremely disinterested in the whole profession and her aim to heal me or relax me as well as appearing apathetic towards any of my ailments. I’m so glad that I did not pay for the massage because if I had to pay after such inadequate treatment I would not. People may question whether it would be fair to avoid payment but if I related it to my mechanic, he would be more than happy to not accept any money if I arrived to pick up my car after placing it in his care for the day to service it and the car did not start. This leaves me wondering why I should pay for any interaction that implies that I receive something at some expense but I do not.

We received the photos of the wedding around this time and they were all extremely beautiful and well presented. Kali and I could not agree on which large frames we liked so we did not frame any large pictures and place them in the house. All of the photos were left in a hundred dollar suitcase in the album with the large ones still enclosed. There was not any rush on her part to put them up. I was open to compromise with the frames but because I felt a preference towards wooden frames and Kali had a preference towards metal frames we could not meet in between. I did say to her she can frame them however she likes but unfortunately upon seeing the frames she had chosen I told her that I felt it would be better if she chose other ones. This ended her search for picture frames and her quest to


display the pictures. Subsequently this experience had firmly driven another nail into our wedding coffin.

The twelve-week yoga course was still going. Each week the practices were focussed solely towards one chakra. To my amazement during the week following each practical session events would occur in my life that made me deal with issues relating to that level of consciousness. Say for instance during the second week the class focussed on the svadisthana / sacral chakra. My need for sexual interaction with my new wife and my observation and desire towards other women was running rampant.

The following week I had to deal with issues related to personal power and the like. The pattern continued and I was overwhelmed with the almost immediate manifestations relevant to the yogic exercises.

I was running myself ragged by working full time and trying to balance my passion. There was an advertisement locally for a masseur on a part time basis. Unwisely, without discussion with my wife I told her that I was applying for the job and was going to ask my employer about the possibilities of part time employment.

Cheryl’s circle this week was absolutely intense. The initial drumming session was powerful and the energy made me sway / rock when in a relaxed state of being. I thought to myself, “Don’t rock you tosser” and then consciously stopped myself. Only to hear Cheryl say, “Rock to the beat of the drum.” I invoked my snake power animal which appeared in my mind’s eye initially as brown with a cream circle on the back of its head and danced with the feeling and energy of the serpent. Upon completion of the dance to the beat of the drum the serpent was coloured blue and its stillness was amazing. I appreciated another reason for the serpent’s correlation to Kundalini. The serpent / snake is seen as dormant / static in winter and active/dynamic in summer. I had an urge to lie down and curl up in the foetal position similar to what a snake would, then I thought that perhaps Cheryl might think that I fainted so I did not. I spun around three and a half times instead. Upon completion Cheryl then said, “Sit or lay where you are and absorb the energy.” I curled up like a snake and was amazed at the stillness and blackness of the experience. The shamanic boat was a good practice this week also and I connected with Isis once

107What On Earth Is Kundalini?again. Cheryl said, “Tell your partner one of your animals.” To which I informed my partner about an owl. I realised that I did not have an owl as a power animal but somehow the word came out. I realised that for most people the owl is a representation of wisdom and more easily appreciated in this context. It came to me that for this practice my crow had presented itself as an owl because of its own ability to be extremely wise and perceptive. I realised during the healing that Isis often works in the form of the wise old owl / crow and looks over me constantly. She is also looking over my power animals. My partner interpreted that I should continue to do what I am doing.

The things I came away with this week were: Life exists in every cell in my body.One aim in life is to purify all cells.Hear and feel the heart and know this to be the centre of the

love energy.At any time I can picture my guru/personal master within

my minds eye. This will comfort me and reassure me that I am continually connected to them and constantly being looked after.

While doing the yoga course I borrowed a book from the Hobart Satyananda library titled “Kundalini: The Key to Life” By the great Siddha Swami Muktananda. Muktananda, as it is well known was one of the great siddhi masters of the twentieth century. There was a big emphasis by Muktananda to know thyself. This book confirmed many of my recent beliefs and that I was working in the right direction to understand the secret mechanism within the human body responsible for perception of subtle realms. It also reassured me and gave me a little confidence to continue. I was still not receiving any recognition or encouragement from Kali and her parents. During life (the journey) and while I was experiencing psychological turmoil books such as the Swami Muktananda one were at times the only thing that kept me going. Kali’s parents (especially her father) were always generous towards me and would help me in whatever way they could if they had the time and the resources. Their lack of interest and understanding in the subtle realms was not something that I held against them. Another reason Kali was not totally over the moon about my Kundalini research was that I was intent on


buying heaps of books and doing as many courses as possible to try and understand it, especially when there was no financial return from my books or the business that I had established.

The chakra course was complete and I was extremely thankful for the experience and blessed to participate in it. During the course I was a bit intense in the way that I usually am. As we were dealing with the charkas, discussion about Kundalini was inevitable. From my background and understanding I realised that Kundalini, once awakened was something extreme to come to terms with and in no way was it easy to handle. I grew an appreciation during the course that through the systematic process of yogic techniques and disciplines the body can be purified and enhanced to such an extent that both experience and knowledge grow hand in hand systematically and progressively to work through the chakras from the gross to the most subtle. My other question regarding yoga was that following regular sadhana and practice of some of the very powerful and specific techniques which are designed to utilise energy of an extremely high frequency there is not always support mechanisms put in place for individuals or groups to discuss and understand their experiences. I am also not too sure whether everyone’s issues manifest almost immediately but I am sure that in my own individual situation I have to be extremely careful what practices I do, what I think, say and how I act. The repercussions of these are intense and extremely confronting.

Throughout the course I would constantly make reference to what I understood as the dangers a person may experience upon awakening Kundalini. I was nervous to talk about it but from my own situation I had major concerns for anyone attempting to awaken the Kundalini energy. I was informed by the Swami during the yoga course that knowledge is accompanied with experience and as the two are integrated to create harmony the chakras are progressively activated, purified and balanced in such a way that the awakening of Kundalini is a gradual experience accompanied with a full understanding. The accumulation of knowledge that allows for an understanding and experience is a gradual progression that requires self-discipline and regulation and may take anything from

109What On Earth Is Kundalini?several years of regular practice right through to practicing for one’s whole life or many lifetimes.

In anticipation of returning to work as a masseur I purchased a second hand table at a great price. I put in the job application to later discover that I was unsuccessful. At least I had purchased a table so that I could massage friends on an extremely irregular basis.

Since my Kundalini research was developing more and more I replaced the borrowed computer that I had in my possession with a new one.

On September 11th 2001 what was deemed as an act of terrorism struck on the most influential county on the planet. This event coupled with intense desire for revenge influenced most people within the western culture in some way.

Early October the Cruel Sea returned to Hobart for yet another performance. I saw the advertisement in the paper, ripped it out and placed it on the corkboard at home. On Monday I forgot to buy tickets and on Tuesday I forgot once again. We were tight for money and on Wednesday I had rationalised that it would be more appropriate to not buy tickets especially since I love the music but don’t go much on the crowds. Also from a financial point of view I decided to try and save the fifty dollars.

On Thursday at lunchtime I went past the store where the Cruel Sea tickets were being sold and entered the photographic store next door. I had been waiting for a while to see photo albums on sale and this day there were six albums on the front table for half price. I figured that I would buy about five and told Kali so. There were six on the table so I figured that I would pick up all six just in case. I placed them on the counter of the store and the lady who was standing near the front table but not employed at the store came to the cashier’s desk also. She asked me if I was going to buy all six of the photo albums to which I replied, “Yes.” She then said, “Ah, that’s a shame, I was hoping to buy one.” I picked up on the tone and thought too bad for you. Then my conscience got the better of me and I gave her one. I bought the other five, which I was still satisfied with. I had more or less spent the money from the Cruel Sea tickets on the photo albums. At 3 pm Kali called me at work to


inform me that one of her friends’ husbands had just won ten tickets to the Cruel Sea concert that night. Her friend was wondering if we wanted to go for free! The answer was obvious and the appreciation of karmic repercussions was evident to me. We went and had an enjoyable experience watching the concert.

Kali was getting more and more annoyed with my habitual disappearance to my friend’s house to smoke ganja and she was telling me on a weekly basis. I said to her that I experience severe mental loneliness, as I cannot talk about what I understand. I also have a physiological addiction. I find this relationship boring as Kali had a tendency to work all day utilising her mental energy (so it could not be used at night). Upon returning home from work there was an habitual tendency to sit down and read the paper for a little while before watching the television and the news at 6 o’clock. Following the news there would be a tendency to organise dinner or at least start to think about what she was going to eat. This did not sit well with me as following dinner there would be more television viewing irrespective of whether one was interested in the television show or whether it was educational in any way. Following the television watching there would be a slight pause in absorption of external stimuli to wash one’s face and brush teeth in preparation for bed before reading part of a book prior to sleep. I could not handle the habitual routine even though I was stuck in another one. My routine was to come home and have dinner as quickly as possible before shooting back out to my friend’s house to smoke some ganja.

A few days into October Kali gave me the ultimatum that we would not remain married if I continued to smoke ganja. I was somewhat perturbed and not sure whether I could immediately give up without Kali’s conscious participation and assistance in the process. I received criticism and warnings and at one stage she cut the guide to quitting marijuana into pieces and stuck the quotations in my study. The information on the pamphlet was irrelevant as I am well aware of the detrimental affects and systemic biological repercussions that excessive marijuana smoking can have. I was also wondering why Kali had actually chosen to be with me as I had regularly smoked ganja (even when I met her) and I as a person

111What On Earth Is Kundalini?had not changed in my habitual patterns much since meeting her. I did however have the desire to remain married, as I had hoped in this life I would only be married once to what I perceived was my dream woman.

Kali was on the verge of leaving me and emotionally I had felt that from the third day following our wedding she had slowly withdrew that connection to me. It was getting to the point, which was critical and she saw herself as not being able to tolerate the loneliness of me leaving the house each night. I understood this and then switched to smoking ganja in my back shed instead of leaving the property for extended periods of time. I understand and appreciate now that even though I was in the house physically with Kali there was still a tendency to not be ‘present’ but rather on another wavelength off in some ‘vagued out’ stated of mind.

Upon understanding the critical situation that I was in I called the government programme, which was focussed towards drug and alcohol counselling and prevention. I spoke with someone on the other end of the line and informed her of my situation. I said I had been smoking ganja regularly on and off for at least thirteen or fourteen years and that I wanted to give up in order to remain married. The lady at the other end of the line asked me how old I was to which I answered twenty-nine. She replied, “We can only assist you if you are under the age of twenty-five.”

I had to laugh at the hopelessness of my situation. I informed Kali of the interaction and told her that I thought the best option and most likely possibility of me giving up would come in January 2002 as I was enrolled in a six month yogic studies course with the Satyananda Yoga Tradition. She did not seem too impressed by the situation and I could tell that she did not have much faith (who could blame her) in me or in what I was saying. I was not overly confident with this plan but I saw it as one of my last chances of staying married.

Later in October 2001 I wrote in my diary, “Why did Jesus speak in parables?” Why did the Yogis speak in poems?” The answer came to me, “So the illumined understand.” I also wrote in my diary around this time that the remnants of Kundalini were


quite visible within the artefacts of the Egyptian culture, perhaps remnants from much earlier races such as Atlantis. Since the Greeks had invaded Egypt it was evident that through rationalisation and scientific analysis they were trying to work out the significance of the Egyptian symbols in an attempt to understand the Egyptian way of life. Somehow the Indian culture, which was predominately based on knowledge acquired through direct intuitive experience also had remnants and artefacts evident. The Greeks presented to the world the Staff of Hermes Trismegistus, which is now the medical symbol. The Staff of Hermes symbolises the Kundalini moving from the base chakra up to the sahasrara chakra in a balanced way. The two snakes symbolise knowledge on one side and experience on the other.

Even though my mind, body and soul were devoted to understanding my initial spontaneous Kundalini awakening Kali never really seemed that interested in understanding the significance of my passion and this was similar in respect to most of the people she knew and interacted with. To me it appeared that Kalis’ lifestyle was strictly based on conforming to the requirements of her intensely stressful job as a lawyer. Stressful in the sense that it consumed so much of her energy she was not able to prioritise or initiate a balanced lifestyle in other aspects of her life. I could see that there was minimal connection between us, as we did not have too many things in common. I knew that our relationship was doomed unless we consciously worked extremely hard to deal with what was perceived as incompatibilities. She said, “That is one of the major problems with today’s culture, when relationships go bad people have a tendency to look outside of them for the solution.” I agreed with her one hundred percent but could not see where she was putting in effort to make ours better. It was ironic and made me realise an extremely relevant point. I had been neglecting her for at least six months and unfortunately due to her background and introversion she suffered in silence for the majority of this time.

She experienced the common feeling of losing power from the area known as the solar plexus (which correlates to the Manipura Chakra). The experience of perceiving energy at this point is common and most sensitive people can understand and appreciate what I mean when I say it often feels like a vacuum just below your

113What On Earth Is Kundalini?heart when you allow your energy to be lost. On the other hand this is the area that seems extremely powerful when we are in a life threatening situation and the sympathetic nervous system works to initiate either a fight or flight response.

Kali saw herself at the point where she could not give any more. This seemed bizarre because I never felt that we were connected deeply in a subtle way after our honeymoon. All I ever craved was non-physical emotional connection in the form of unconditional love but I had only received conditions stipulating what I should do to make Kali happy. We were in trouble and I was going to fight to hold on to her. I did not realise that I had already lost her and this is a common mistake by males as the quote, “You don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone” is dead on accurate. I myself had fallen into a habitual pattern to stay at home with my wife but unfortunately due to the excessive boredom and lack of passion (not sexual) I was experiencing I would do nothing but watch videos every night. In reference to the lack of intimacy between Kali and myself I would often masturbate to release my sexual energy.

Upon appreciating the urgency of the situation within my marriage and the destructive pattern of escapism I had manifested I approached my boss to inform him that I could no longer work full time and I would like him to assess the options for me to work four days a week instead of five days on the shift roster. He said that he would endeavour to do all within his capability to pursue suitable options. Coincidently the following day the lady who had been employed for several years in a four day per week position at the hospital resigned. I was forced to follow standard protocol and apply for the job in the regular fashion. After the interview I got the job and was blessed. It was decided that following my return from the yoga course I would be employed on a permanent part-time basis of four days per week with regular employment between the hours 9:00am – 5:00pm.

I attended another of Cheryl’s shamanic circles and this is what I gained out of it: It was a big night for gifts and we partnered up with somebody. I partnered up with Martin whom I learned was homosexual and enjoyed smoking marijuana. We ventured outside


and he made me appreciate that every individual aspect of creation is a unique expression of the all-pervading life force / Goddess. We returned inside for the journey, which was a guided meditation. I felt like crying at the start then I entered my cave and when I did I realised I was rowing a boat but I appeared in the form of a Red American Indian and the boat was a canoe. The lines on my face were hard and filled with hatred. I got to the mound of creation and my power animals, the rat and snake, did not recognise me and hid under a bush. I called out to them and they recognised the voice then I asked what my gift was. I then saw the Indian (me) rip open his chest and the most intense light spread everywhere from the point of light within his heart.

The light symbolised the all-pervading life force and it let me see that I am a part of it as much as it is a part of me. There was a feeling of a connection to the Indian as a past life. The past life was ‘intuitively’ connected to the reason I have so much hatred against the culture currently destroying the indigenous habitat and utilising the earth’s resources at the earth’s expense for the race’s narrow-minded benefit. The gift to myself was the releasing of some of that hatred that has been with me for a long time. It felt like a huge weight was lifted from my heart and I was thankful to the Goddess. After the circle I talked to Martin and we decided to go to his house to smoke some ganja. It was a great experience and I learnt a lot. Being in such a confined environment as Martin’s house, alone and stoned with a homosexual really tested both my ‘homosexual tendencies’ and homophobia (or lack thereof ).

Another dose of Cheryl’s shamanic circle later that month was fantastic. During the guided journey I went into a special place inside my heart and it was lined with lapis lazuli. I went through the woods seeing old souls in the trees and went through the forests towards the Himalayas. I went to the riverside and the river was intuitively experienced as the holy ganja and it was silver in appearance. Cheryl said to take a drink from it, as I did it, it went in my mouth and went through my body into every cell. It was the water of life. I continued to cup the water onto my hair, third eye, throat and mouth, torso, heart, sexual organs and feet. Upon conclusion I thanked the spirits and deities relating to each anatomical region.

115What On Earth Is Kundalini?During the second journey I went down into the lapis lazuli

cave and landed in the canoe to be guided along the river. Cheryl said, “Check what the path is made of and the realisation came to me that my path was the water of life. I continued down the river to the mound of creation and met all five of my animals. They said (while looking off of the mound), “The water of life is everywhere.” With the panoramic view of the water I appreciated this and as I did they pointed to the air and said, “It will quench your thirst, it will quench your breath.” Then they shortened it to, “It will.” Which was again shortened to, “I will.”

Unfortunately Kali had not been doing any self-development and this reflected in her own lack of happiness. There was still no connection between us due to the fact that I had broken her heart and she had experienced emotional turmoil from what she felt was rejection.

I had a second attempt at applying for a research project based on understanding and studying the mechanism within the human vehicle responsible for the transformation of consciousness. I was aware that several hospitals within Australia had already introduced holistic treatment and yoga teachers into their programme but I was not too sure that the specific mechanism responsible for such things as insanity, genius or enlightenment were clearly understood. I did realise that there were many people interested in understanding Kundalini and its correlation to the human vehicle but the hospital institute was somewhat disinterested.

I was glad to see that spirituality had infiltrated some of the department stores and consumer magazines. Even to the extent that there are Kundalini yoga videos available in several stores. When I observed such infiltration I was ecstatic, even though the infiltration was based around consumerism and portrayed at times in a somewhat imbalanced and limited way.

My car seemed to be using a lot of water and was running poorly. I took it to the mechanic to see if he could fix it and he informed me it had a blown head gasket and he would attempt to get it machined. He later called me to inform me that I required a new engine in the vehicle and the options were to sell it without an engine to the auto recyclers or replace the engine. After due consideration and discussion with Kali we


decided to keep the car, as it was a very practical utility. It was expensive to replace the engine and this put a stress on our finances temporarily as it had already been agreed that I do the yoga course in January.

During the twelve-week yoga course focussed on the chakras I had learnt that there were two Satyananda ashrams within Australia that acted as educational institutes and they offered courses in yogic philosophy. I figured since I had grown an appreciation during the last two and a half years that Kundalini was the biological basis of all spiritual disciplines and that yoga had its roots in the Sanskrit language they were intimately and intricately connected. I saw the yoga course as one of the only ways to pull me out of the cycle I was repeating.

I noted in my diary, “What you think will be.” “Life is a thought.” “Refinement and focus of concentration is one of the keys.”

Since reading the book titled “Christ Consciousness” on my honeymoon I had had a desire to read the book “Autobiography of a Yogi” by Paramahamsa Yogananda Giri. Paulsen, who had written Christ Consciousness was an initiated disciple of Yoganandaji.

Amazingly Brock (without any prior knowledge) had bought Autobiography of a Yogi at a second hand bookstore for two dollars. During everyday conversation he told me that he had picked it up and I told him that I had been thinking about reading it. He said that I could borrow it if I felt the need. I said, ‘sure’ and immediately put plans down to pick it up from Brock within the near future. Within a couple of days I had the book in my possession and could not put it down. Like most of the great spiritual books of this type I continually received confirmation through the bizarre experience of all over body tingles from an external source. The book taught me much about the power of yogis and confirmed that concentration of mind is one of the most significant and essential aspects of creating a harmonious and enjoyable life.

I wrote the following quotes in my diary (which were unrelated to the book I had just read):

“Do you reckon if you died right now you would die with a smile on your face?”

“Don’t be insecure about what you don’t have, be thankful for what you do have.”

117What On Earth Is Kundalini?Kali asked me what I wanted for Christmas for our first married

Christmas Day together. I told Kali that I would love the wooden Shiva statue that was in the ‘one world’ shop in Hobart. I said that I saw it today and I had been waiting a year for it to come in and it was worth seventy dollars. She noted it somewhere in her memory and about a week later she entered the store to see if it was there. Guess what? It had been sold and there was no statue there. She informed me that the opportunity was now gone, to which I said that she could perhaps buy me a bonsai tree as that was the only other thing I desired. I felt that she was not too comfortable with the bonsai tree idea and this led me to reassess the situation. I told her that I did not want anything apart from her time for one hour constantly. The hour did not have to be spent doing anything sexual all I would like is your sole undivided attention for one hour.

Kali was well aware that I was about to start the yogic philosophy course with the Satyananda Yoga Association. Kali had recently started practicing yoga in the Traditional Hatha yoga style of Iyengar once a week in Hobart. I was so wrapped that she had found time to participate in something that would encourage self-development and enhance her understanding of different aspects of herself. Unfortunately the focus of the class was predominately physically based and did not apply yoga according to ones individual constitution. She had completed at least one term when I asked her if it would be feasible that we go to the Satyananda Yoga centre together as I felt it encompassed other aspects of yoga that were more suitable for me. She reacted in a very defensive way and I intuitively perceived that she felt that I was trying to “convert” her to my style. Please do not misinterpret me, as I do not think that there is anything wrong with Iyengar Yoga as long as Hatha Yoga is suited to your individual constitution and needs. I thought that it would be a great bonding experience to be able to participate in a form of integral yoga that benefited both of us mutually. This was never meant to be. For my Christmas present I did not receive the non-physical emotional interaction I craved and I was less than impressed to discover that Kali had bought me a somewhat expensive and huge book detailing the specifics of Iyengar Yoga. This made it evident to me that my wife and I were no longer communicating and working on a level of understanding.


I was also growing concerns over Kali’s constant interaction with her ex boyfriend (Phil). I was amazed at the significance of a cycle that was repeating in my life. Not only did I not want to interact with ex boyfriends but I had also developed an aversion towards younger police as they often unconsciously craved self-empowerment. I had to admire the Goddess because in this situation I had a wife who had an ex boyfriend as a policeman that ‘hit on her’. Kali was what I interpreted as being always honest about her interactions with Phil and I do not believe that she consciously chased him at this point in time. I did find it ironic that she would never invite him around to dinner since he was supposed to be a friend and I was deeply saddened when I asked her to either state to him, “I am with Michael so leave me alone” or if he did not leave her alone, to discontinue the relationship with him that was based on being good friends. Phil’s interest in Kali become obvious and following his proposition to her (the incident where I informed all parties of the proceedings) in the year 2000 Kali was less inclined to openly discuss too many interactions with him. She saw that I had started to question her integrity and involvement with him. I was interested in the interaction because I felt I was losing her and was trying to save my marriage. She saw the questions as jealous interrogation and responded defensively by telling me so.

New Year’s Eve 2001 came and went and I was looking forward to starting the yogic philosophy course early in the New Year. 2002 was the year that I had to either stop smoking marijuana or separate from my beautiful wife. I was confident that I would do my best and stay married.

I wrote down several goals for this year and they were: Be patientLove thyselfPractice yoga (both practical and theory)Try and sort out the sensuality dilemma

The day before leaving for my yoga course was Friday the 4th of January 2002 and it was one of the most intense days of my life. I had organised to go to dinner with Kali and her friends but that was not meant to be. There was a guy at work who was extremely emotional and required intense amounts of energy to try to comfort.

119What On Earth Is Kundalini?My friend Ji had separated with his first serious girlfriend and was shattered. I told Kali that I felt it would be more appropriate to spend time with my friend (as I only had a couple of close ones and he was one of them) rather than go to dinner. I could feel that Kali was less than impressed. After work I ventured to Ji’s house and we smoked some ganja, he was comforted and we had a great time.

I met up with Kali and her friends (which were all female) at the restaurant. I was really stoned and Kali was really unhappy. Kali and her friends were going out to dance and she did not want me to go. Since the ladies had been drinking wine excessively they agreed to be driven to the nightclub by me.

I then travelled to a friend’s house to relax. After I knocked on the door two of the housemates were extremely happy to see me as they said my friend had just drunk a bottle of alcohol accompanied with twenty sleeping pills. This made him have a temporary psychotic episode. It was fascinating to see the damage within the house. I discovered my friend semi-conscious in his bedroom. I awoke my friend and made him conscious of his surroundings. As he woke, he sat up and had a cigarette. He told me about the experience, and how he had travelled back to the time when the planet earth was uninhabited by humans and it was beautiful and tranquil.

I then left his house and decided to pass by the nightclub to see if Kali had arranged to meet Phil. I arrived at the club and received the ‘cold shoulder’, which was obvious and totally saddening. I was not welcome and after expending so much energy to support people that day I asked Kali for a cuddle to which she declined and turned away from me. To this day I do not understand why. I asked myself, “Why aren’t people more understanding?”. I left the nightclub feeling like killing myself but could not realistically contemplate it, as I know suicide is not the way out of this life for me.

Kali had repressed her artistic ability (which initially was one of the most attractive aspects of her), she was unconsciously and consciously conforming more and more to the lifestyle dictated by the economic culture. She unfortunately had an inability to distance herself from her job as a lawyer and during many discussions I stated that she never appeared to be incorrect, she never apologised about anything and had a natural tendency to answer questions


with questions. I wondered if these qualities were developed during the first three lessons at law school. Due to the lack of an intimate connection between Kali and myself I was extremely sexually repressed and masturbated excessively.

I was personally a non-conformist and the friends (the few that I did have) that I could relate to the best were musicians who remained unemployed. Apart from unemployed skateboarders and musicians I did relate on the level with three guys at work, Bert, Sanchez and Bob. Bob is also a musician and at times totally scattered but extremely funny and friendly. Sanchez was experiencing emotional turmoil of his own and he was always open and willing to discuss both personal situations and philosophical topics. Bert was a musician and straight down the line with everything. His attitude towards the imbalanced greed in society often expressed this. I’m eternally thankful to them for giving me some people at work to talk to on the level. I also developed a deep respect for anyone who was humble and acted as a decent person but I failed to formulate any respect for anyone purely on occupation or status. When anyone (including patients) would tell me about family members, they would often start by telling me about assets and job status, immediately I would reply, “I don’t care what sort of job they do! Are they a decent person or are they greedy?”

I had been working full time since Kali’s mother told me that it was necessary if I intended to marry her daughter. It was killing me as there was limited time for my true passion of studying Kundalini and I was compromising my own integrity. I remember three significant interactions that I had with Kali’s parents and they went as follows.

One time Kali’s mother said to me, “I hope you’re not spending five thousand dollars to self-publish your second book.” To which I replied, “The first book was worth every cent as it was a magnificent cleansing process for myself and a figure does not put justification on it.” I then added, “I will do anything that I like with my money.” She replied, “I’ll have you know my daughter’s not a meal ticket.” To which I replied, “Yes she is, that’s why I married a lawyer.” Of course I was not serious but I said this purely as antagonism. She then said, “I’ll have you know you won’t be getting any of our money when we die.” I snickered and then replied, “I don’t want any of your money when you die anyway.”

121What On Earth Is Kundalini?Another time I had been thinking for the best part of a month (at

least) about how Kali’s parents would often imply (without directly stating) that the opinions they held to be true were more important in life than mine. So one night at dinner (without prior discussion with Kali) I psychologically prepared myself and then came out with the following question. “I was just wondering why you guys feel the need to force your opinions on to me? I understand why people like other people and why they dislike some. People like people that have the same values and beliefs as themselves while also displaying similar behavioural patterns. That’s why you guys enjoy the company of people that like to watch sport, have barbecues and drink alcohol. So basically people you like reflect what you either consciously or unconsciously see as good within yourself.” They said, “That’s correct.”

I then said, “It’s the opposite with people you dislike. People have a tendency to dislike people that reflect either a negative quality that a person has or has not dealt with and overcome but still doesn’t feel comfortable with, or the person judging the other unconsciously still does the same activity that they are judging the other person about. Basically if I’m interested in things that don’t sit well with you guys then it’s not my problem.” Kali’s mother then said, “I understand, you’re saying that if I have a problem with you then it’s not your problem, it’s my problem.” I said, “You’ve got it.” She said, “Don’t be rude to me.” And got up and left the room. I looked at Kali’s father and said, “What do you think.” In a raised voice, with a red face and much tension he exclaimed, “You just better settle down cock! Don’t come around here and be rude to Kali’s mum.” I said, “If anyone is being rude to anyone, she is being rude to me.” He then ran outside as well. I was glad that I did not have to fight him. Kali was dumbfounded and totally uncomfortable, a few minutes later both parents returned to the kitchen table and did not say anything about the interaction, as if it never happened.

On another occasion Kali and I were staying with her parents temporarily for about two months. It was a trying time and I tried to conform to the normal niceties. I was in the process of dictating my second book and had set up the rumpus room on the lower level of the house (which barely ever got used) with a chair and poster of Shiva to


both focus my awareness and assist me in meditation. The poster must have only been up for one day before Kali’s mother removed it.

I am eternally thankful to Kali’s parents for the generosity and lessons they showed me. I could not have placed myself in a better situation to be able to enhance my tolerance and deepen my understanding.

Irrespective of my feelings to do with the environment and situation I had placed myself in I was constantly in touch with a very subtle energy that was constantly penetrating every cell of my being and expressing itself as pure bliss.

For some bizarre reason every time I was put in a situation where I would spontaneously talk about Kundalini, heat would form in my spinal passage and my back would start to sweat. I needed help to understand my own personal situation and to put the pieces of my life back together.

I had developed the tendency to point out hypocrisies, double standards and the truth (as far as I understood it according to the interconnectedness of all of creation), which would get people off side. This happened irrespective of whether it was at work, in social situations or personal situations with Kali and others.

On the 5th of January 2002 I noted in my diary, “No Shiva statue, no bonsai tree, no one-hour of undivided attention, no change in either Kali or myself. It is no good, no chance? Is it over? I had three weeks to think about it. It was the first day since Kali had gone out of her way to attract me into a relationship to start dating me that I seriously considered a future without her.

Later that day I left for the yoga course in New South Wales. I chose New South Wales so I could visit my friends in Sydney whenever I participated in studying at the ashram. So here I was on the plane thinking about how unsatisfactory my life was. Life is full of choices; I had made mine and had to live with them.

I arrived in Sydney and was picked up by Herman. As always he was his natural self and we had a great time with many laughs and a few cones. We met up with Johnny and went to play some pool, then watched a video. I called Kali to say I had arrived safely. I had a great night with Johnny and Herman.

123What On Earth Is Kundalini?The next morning Herman and I went to the local swimming

centre. He was then gracious enough to drive me an hour and a half north so I could meet up with mum and dad for a night or two. The whole family was together for dinner, dining out with a splendid view of the Manning River, and there was a lot of talking and bonding which was great. We ate some beautiful fish but the rest of the meal was average. Ram and I went for a walk along the beach at night and we related well with each other on a very honest and open level.

The next day Ram and I went for a swim and bonded again. Ram called mum from the swimming centre and ordered breakfast, she set about cooking it without question. I was amazed at how Ram could still be so dependant on mum. I guess she was happy to spoil us since she did not really see too much of us these days.

After lunch mum and dad drove me to the Satyananda Ashram at Mangrove Mountain in New South Wales. Upon leaving, dad almost killed me with his hug, as it was so intense. I told my parents during the drive that I was open to absolutely anything at the ashram and had psychologically prepared myself to do anything that the guru informed me to do. Dad found this bizarre but after I explained that a guru could interpret directly from your soul as well as the high frequency vibration coming out of your DNA he was slightly interested. I said from this perception they can interpret your karmic situation and can prescribe any activity specific for you to deal with your karma to both enhance the speed of your own personal evolution as well as get you closer to a constant direct experience of the all pervading life force which is the underlying reality of pure bliss.

Upon arrival I settled in then went for a swim. We had a vegetarian dinner and I even ate cucumbers. The intensive course I had signed up for was exactly that. We had an introduction the first night and left it at that.

The next morning we started the twenty-one day course and immediately I appreciated how well it was structured. During the early morning yoga class I intuited that the pains that are constant in my right foot, right sacroiliac joint, right groin and thumb correlate to a manifestation created due to a lack of emotional support. I realised that yoga and the Goddess can provide this. The course content was sensational and it ‘gelled’ immediately with me.


I called Kali that night but she was not too much into the conversation and appeared very distant. I realised that she didn’t really want to deal with any issues herself but appreciated that if she ever felt a need to, the Goddess knows that I’ll help her when she does. I had lots of energy for her as I had endless love towards her. I saw the separation as a great opportunity for both myself, to put my own personal situation into context, and for her to deal with the fantasy vibration that had been constant within her since her overseas holiday. I recommended that while I was away she concentrated on facing the issue of realising that no relationship is perfect and they need work, as well as trying to separate herself from the persona she identified with in her work situation.

While at the ashram I was blessed to be able to interact with a swami by the name of Kriya. I immediately connected with him. He was however a bit dubious of me initially because of the phone conversation we had in December. A part of the conversation went something like this. When he answered the telephone I said, “I am researching Kundalini and have a business called The Australian Kundalini Research & Healing Centre and I am trying to understand it since I had a spontaneous Kundalini awakening in July 1998.” He replied, “Who justified this?” To which I replied, “No one.”

During the early stages of the course Kriya recommended that I read some samkhya philosophy. It elaborated on some concepts I had touched and helped put some of them into place. It was great to be at the ashram and I was meeting some very interesting and fun people. There was a connection within the group based on the fact that we all had something in common which was an interest in yogic philosophy and a desire to practise yoga. At the end of the day I wrote, “Love all – Judge none.”

I soon learnt that the Satyananda Ashram in Australia did not have a guru present but rather a chosen ‘Acharya’. The guru was based in Munger, Bihar, India. The guru was Paramahamsa Niranjanananda Saraswati (Swamiji) and I understood that he was a direct disciple of Paramahamsa Satyananda Saraswati for most of his life and in nineteen eighty-four Paramahamsaji told Niranjananandaji to take over the running of the whole Satyananda yoga school and tradition.

125What On Earth Is Kundalini?During the residential component of the course the class watched

two videos of Swamiji and they were fantastic. On the videos he exuded an unbelievable feeling of peace and love. Swamiji talked about the message given from the Goddess to the gods/angels and demons. He said it was the same message and the gods/angels heard it as “Be compassionate”, and the demons perceived it as “Become passionate.”

I had what seemed like a million questions on my mind that were waiting to be answered. Unfortunately I had a tendency, due to being overly ambitious, to ask the questions out of context. I would often disturb the teacher’s train of thought, which was unfair to the teacher presenting the lesson and the other students. Often I would receive the response “I will get back to you.” Swami Kriyatmananda was the most specific in his responses and at times he would reply, “I do not know the answer to that one.” Or we would discuss a possible outcome according to his understanding and personal experience. I grew a love for Kriyatmananda in the sense that the image he was portraying was so human. He was not someone into spirituality whom would look straight through me with a soft voice and say, “Everything’s ok Michael, live in the present moment, be blissful.” He knew there were extreme issues to overcome during the process of self development and he also enjoyed experiences of all aspects of life. He said that he had given up craving perfection and being ambitious towards it and he told me that his halo had fallen off many years ago. He then said, “There are many people into spirituality that are still kicking their halo around.”

There was a lecture about yogis in the twentieth century and their influence on the western culture, as well as descriptions of the different types of yoga. I was exposed to the ‘cold chill’ sensation once again. During a meditation I experienced a great vision of Shiva with a fascinating star placed on his forehead. He had Kundalini in the form of a cobra present. I was sure that a lot of the holy men from India were around me in spirit. I was overwhelmed with thankfulness at how well the course was structured and to be in the presence of such great yoga teachers. I realised that the course would help me put the pieces of the puzzle together and I thanked the Goddess and Shiva for guiding me


here and leading me through a life to fulfilment. All yoga classes within the Satyananda tradition are initiated and completed by chanting the mantra ‘Om’ three times. At the conclusion of one particular class by Kriya I approached him and asked him, “When you Om, it doesn’t just come out of your mouth does it?” To which he replied, “No.” I was confused and left wondering how I perceived something like that.

It had been three and a half years (exactly) to the day since my awakening. Coincidently I saw a beautiful green snake in the garden, which reminded me of the Goddess.

The class participated in performing the six physically cleansing yogic practices, titled the shatkarmas. Soon after practicing, an intense feeling of rejection throughout my whole life became evident and I came to the realisation that Shiva’s guidance has always been present. I was also thankful to Goddess for allowing me to personally be predisposed to intelligence. I was comforted by both of these facts.

I had lots of questions about Kali and even though there was a fair amount of temptation at the ashram it was easy to overcome. I was wondering if she realised how lucky she is to be with me because I am spiritually aware while maintaining honesty and attempted to love her unconditionally. It was sad for me to realise that I missed my dog Astro more than my wife. Purely because of the fact that he shows unconditional love and she expresses feelings depending on how I act and how she feels. If I asked my dog to devote one hour of his time to me, if he could talk, he would complain that that was not enough.

During meditation I experienced something to do with my own arachnephobia and realised that my mind was starting to perceive deeper into the subtle realms.

In another video by Swamiji said, “Once the Kundalini is awakened. The person is seen as a misfit.”

My mind was getting clearer (due to a lack of marijuana inhalation) and I had a conscious recollection of a dream, which was the first in a long time. In the dream Kali’s father was angry with me because he found all of my pornographic paraphernalia and had an inability to cope with it.

The lack of sensuality and heartbreak in my life were creating intense emotional fluctuations. I realised that past hurt and

127What On Earth Is Kundalini?heartbreak was experienced because I was looking in the incorrect place to find love. I realised that true sensuality comes from within and once that is understood and balanced then it can be expressed externally. There was a big emphasis to avoid temptation on any level and a desire to overcome, recognise and release any tensions created by it. I appreciated that physical imbalances and tensions are a representation of a misplacement of energy on the subtle levels.

We performed a meditation focused on internalised observation and visualisation of a sun. I saw a female cobra and she had the sun on her head then she slithered around me three and a half times to come to rest in my lap.

I grew an appreciation that after doing yoga for some time a persons eyes become clear and the pattern of the iris often changes. The big question to myself was, “Do everyone’s eyes form a pattern of lines going from the pupil to the outside of the iris after many years of practicing yoga?” I don’t really think so, as I realised everyone has a congenital pattern, which may vary slightly but predominately it is responsible for the appearance of their eyes.

A video about Paramahamsaji related many experiences of his early life, which were amazingly coincidental to mine.

I had intense dreams at this time, which were amazingly vivid, threatening and good. I had a wet dream (don’t worry they were my own sheets and shorts), which was the first in many years. This I appreciated as a need for the energy within the vajra nadi to be released. Since I was at the Yoga ashram, this energy had intensified.

During the meditation I interpreted that Shakti (Shiva’s counterpart / feminine energy) came to me in the form of a snake once again. This time she was coloured red, white and black. I realise that the emotional turmoil I was experiencing was necessary for me to activate my right side of brain and get in touch with my feminine energy to experience true emotions and genuine feelings. I was thankful to the Goddess, Shiva and Shakti with every cell in my body and realised that upon my return to Tasmania I shall endeavour to love by giving and serving.

Nearing a week into the course I realised that I had been a little unwise by being overzealous about Kundalini, my experience and


where I was at with my understanding. Even though I understood that everyone is a reflection of myself, and that I am no better in any way, shape or form than anyone else. I was often perceived as ‘egotistical’. This resulted in me perceiving that I was being psychically attacked on either a conscious or unconscious level. I began to introvert my energy, as I needed to conserve it. I noted, “The irony of life is, that even though the goal is to express the divine light within, when you do so people still cut you down!” It was here that I decided that I would face the world with the sword of determination in one hand, faith in the other and love in my heart with the Goddess backing me. I was destined to believe in myself even if the whole world turned against me.

I had another intense dream and it was the third in as many nights. It was making me tired because the dreams were so vivid and at times I was so ‘conscious’ throughout the night that I hardly slept.

I was comforted by the fact that Shakti is with me in the form of a serpent.

I came to terms with the fact that I am now a servant of Goddess.

I was lucky enough to be blessed with an angel on my path in the form of Swami Devamaya Saraswati. She was the course co-ordinator and we communicated on a very deep level. She was great to talk to about my relationship dilemmas as she spoke from a female perspective. She was very understanding and guided me well. The effort she put in was much appreciated and will be eternally remembered with thanks

I realised there is a better chance to bond in a relationship when the love is unconditional. I noted that I must love unconditionally but not be a doormat. I knew Kali was my princess but I was not too sure if I was her prince. I knew that I had to maintain my own integrity and be ‘me’ (true to myself ) as that is all I can ever be. I aimed to express my emotions at home in a non-sexual sense as I desired closeness.

I had a dream about drugs and policemen. The following day some bizarre coincidences were appreciated.

Firstly my girlfriend at the time of spontaneous Kundalini awakening lived in Richmond New South Wales, which coincided with the place in Australia where Paramahamsaji gave his first Australian talk in the late 1960’s.

129What On Earth Is Kundalini?Secondly the printing company that was responsible for

producing all of the early Satyananda books was located thirty-five metres from my house in Tasmania.

I noted that I did not need to justify myself to anyone and I had to be courageous. I had to live in the light of love and shine into the universe while maintaining my integrity.

Another dream about ex-partners, temptation and karma. I did not want to fall victim to “the tall poppy syndrome” that I often

endured. I emphasised to not let other people’s opinions affect me.The spiritual path doesn’t get any easier. Once you deal with

most of your own issues you have to contend with other people’s issues. Don’t resent them, just try to understand them and shower them with love.

I was reading a book by the great Swami Vivekananda, which was about samkhya philosophy. I noted and placed emphasis on the facts to realise the Goddess is everywhere, focus of energy and have faith to overcome anything.

During a meditation I experienced something like a civil war of which I was a part of but it seems that I was the person that was second in charge. I was apparently trying to prove myself good enough to be in charge but died before it was possible. The question came to me, did I bring the impression of ‘trying to prove myself good enough’ through to this life from that one? Could this be the reason why the unconscious drive to prove myself has manifested in this life?

The course was intense for the following reasons:Everyone is out of their comfort zone because it is a new environmentThe energy of the ashram is working on all levels to increase the speed of a person’s own individual evolutionary processIntense yogic practices are being performedThe whole experience is designed to bring subtle impressions into

the conscious mind to be dealt with. Other people are in the same situation and not only do you have to deal with your own energy and the intensely strong environmental energy but also come to terms with the impressions given out by most of the other students and residents.


During a meditation I forgave Jocelyn and released subtle resentment that I had been holding. I grew an appreciation that it is necessary to love and understand enemies. I aimed to return to Tasmania and live a happy life with Kali.

By this time it appeared that a lot of the students were tired and looking forward to the end of the course. I had been unwise in the fact that I had communicated several times with Kali. Mainly for two reasons, my energy would have been better off maintained and focussed towards the activities at the ashram and the self-development that was taking place. Secondly, the fact that there was a natural inability to be able to communicate in a satisfactory way while issues and practices continue to create major fluctuations in both my emotional and mental states.

I grew an immediate appreciation for the meditation technique titled, “Antar Mouna.”

I noted to myself to be selfless, have humility, dedicate life to Goddess and humanity while trying to understand and come to terms with Kundalini. This way I figured I couldn’t go wrong.

I had another intense dream and in this one I was trying desperately to get home. On my first attempt I was severely beaten up so I tried again and on the second attempt I got kidnapped and stabbed. A war broke out which was initiated by my kidnappers but this gave me an opportunity to escape and continue to try and get home, and then I woke up.

I was reasonably confident Kali would grow to love me again as I was aiming to exude love and selflessness.

During the course, we studied yogic psychology and it was amazing for me to appreciate and put into perspective all of the knowledge I had acquired by researching my spontaneous Kundalini awakening. It was as if all the pieces of the puzzle I had were being put together thanks to the help of the Satyananda Ashram and the many great teachers.

My ambition was to work towards obtaining a doctorate in yogic philosophy and this course was what I saw as the initial step. I was fully blessed to have stumbled across the Satyananda yoga tradition at such a critical time in my life. I decided to stay close

131What On Earth Is Kundalini?to the Satyananda yoga tradition as the lineage dates back to the enlightened sage, Shankaracharya who formulated the ‘dashnami order’ of sanyassins in the eight century AD. The knowledge about yoga and Kundalini were impeccable and for me to investigate and fully understand it I believed that the Satyananda yoga tradition had the key. Their library is diverse and one of the best I have ever seen relating to spiritual matters.

I noted there is only one thing I know for sure and that is that I do not know what someone else knows.

I noted; just when you think your urges are under control, ‘expect the unexpected’. Temptation comes in many guises, especially young attractive ones. Witness your thoughts and don’t feel guilty. Enjoy the beauty but don’t play the game and welcome the challenge. Put yourself in the path of adversity and laugh in its face. You become what you think, so think love.

I was hesitant to return home. I was more unattached to my wife than ever, but also more loving. I was confident about my path, as I had received fantastic reassurance and confirmation, even though this was never really appreciated by anyone else. I knew that sensuality within my marriage would be better off when we both felt like it rather than just for the sake of it.

Upon completion of the course I was extremely thankful and blessed to be able to appreciate the different types of yoga and how each type is personally applied according to ones’ individual constitution. I immediately felt a direct connection to the form of Jnana Yoga. Amazingly during the lesson describing Jnana Yoga there was a description of three essential steps on the Jnana Yoga path. I had already taken the steps and amazingly I appreciated that prior to the yoga course and before any specific knowledge about this jnana yoga I had achieved (stumbled upon) its goal. (Please see the chapter “Yoga And The Yogic Path” for explanations of each type of yoga.)

I was blessed during the course to have the company and a deep connection with one specific young man by the name of Shane. Shane and myself were “on the level” from the very first interaction. There was total openness and honesty and we grew to appreciate that we had many things in common from our past. We also discovered


that we were born on exactly the same day, not very far from each other, which was bizarre and an amazing coincidence.

Upon returning home to Kali I asked her the following questions. “Did you meditate or do yoga?” She answered, “No.” “Did you do any exercise apart from walking the dog?” She answered, “No”. “Did you get drunk?” To which she replied, “No, but I did have a few drinks.” I then asked, “Did you read any books?” She said, “Just the novel I had been reading.” I asked, “Where was most of your time focussed?” She answered, “Towards work.” I then asked, “Do you want to concentrate on enhancing the sensuality that is lacking from our relationship?” There was no answer (Just a snicker). I then asked, “Do you want to increase the speed of your spiritual evolution?” Her answer was not specific. “Did you interact with Phil?” She answered, “He came around and visited.” I was not shocked in the slightest but a little upset. I asked Kali did she touch him or kiss him, to which she responded, “No, not really.” It was then stated that he did not get invited around but during conversation prior to me going to the yoga course he had picked up on the fact that I would be out of the state for some time and coincidently, while I was gone he was “just passing by.” I knew we were in trouble as Kali was leaning towards her fantasy vibration and had an inability to consciously decide to deal with issues to try and enhance happiness.

Kali said that she was happy while I was not around as she enjoyed her own personal space and could relax. She was happy physically and materially and appeared to me to be complacently ignorant on spiritual and non-physical matters. The different ‘levels’ we each functioned on was drastically incompatible. As I was noticing Kali’s energy being drained from her on a daily basis I would often blame her lack of energy and our inability to connect on an emotional level on her work. I had to limit myself from constantly telling Kali that work was exhausting her energy supply and this obviously lead to an inability for her to express her energy elsewhere. I did express my concerns often, but not everyday. She often defended my comments and I wonder now whether I perceived her to be perpetually tired through negative reinforcement. In reference to her comment “The problem with relationships these days is that when they are inharmonious energy needs to be focussed towards them to fix them”. It sounded good in

133What On Earth Is Kundalini?theory but unfortunately the energy required to fix this relationship was not available. I did not want her to conform in any way to my understanding of life and I fully appreciated that she had not had a direct experience to motivate an avid interest in mysticism.

As Kali developed more and more into her role as a lawyer I appreciated that in personal situations she had an inability to distance herself from that role. The natural ability (I don’t know whether it was cultivated during university or not) to answer questions with questions, never be wrong and never have to say sorry was so submerged into the lawyer persona she could not see it. She got sick of me telling her this and I was forced to accept her personal interpretation and try and live around it. I asked her to accept, respect and appreciate me as well as what I had to endure. I gave her until the 30th of March 2002 to decide whether she wanted to continue our marriage or not.

I proceeded to correlate the knowledge acquired from my yoga course with the knowledge I had acquired prior to it. I was aiming to give a presentation at the up and coming Mind Body Spirit Festival in March. I had the desire to make a few meditation cushions and stools to accompany several copies of “Why The Astros?” to sell at the stall. I approached the newspaper to try and get some publicity. This was unsuccessful due to a lack of understanding of the significance of Kundalini by the journalist.

I visited the local department store when there was fifteen percent off everything and was lucky to purchase the whole set of Kundalini videos. I had stopped smoking marijuana and attempted to balance my life between work, yoga and my marriage.

My days were so busy that I often did not have time to do anything but activities. My standard day was something like this: 5.30 a.m. Wake up and do a minimum of 1 hour of Yoga (30 minutes asana, 15 minutes of pranayama then 15 minutes of meditation).6.30 a.m. Walk my dog.7.00 a.m. Have a shower and shave and probably go to the toilet a second time (if not a third).7.30 a.m. Prepare breakfast for both Kali and myself as well as feed the cat and dog.7.50 a.m Leaving for work for an 8.30 start.


After returning from work at 5.30 or 6 p.m. I walked Astro for a second time and immediately upon my arrival home proceed to prepare dinner. After consuming dinner I would sit at my computer and either do work relating to yoga or masturbate. I would then retire to bed at 9.30 p.m. or 10 p.m. in preparation for the next day.

Besides this daily routine I was performing my radio programme on a fortnightly basis between the hours of midnight and 2 a.m. on Thursday nights. I was lucky enough to have Brock keep me company and assist me in presenting it. It was titled, “Consciousness Conversation” and the topic each week was based on spirituality and concepts relating to Kundalini and the chakras. I saw the radio programme as an opportunity to be able to talk about and express the things I was passionate about. It saddened me to think that my wife never actually listened to any of my shows but this clearly reflected her state of mind towards what I was passionate about.

I was doing a fantastic job to love my wife, fulfil her desire for me to stop smoking marijuana and fulfil the obligations I had brought upon myself as a householder and husband. My state of mind was clear and I felt that because of the yogic practices the energy within me remained reasonably balanced.

I asked Kali if it would be possible to visit the yoga centre on Friday evenings to sing Kirtan together. I thought this would be relevant as she had lost a desire to be musical or creative in any way (apart from the gardening) and it would also bring us closer together. She declined as she felt that Friday nights were best spent with friends from work consuming alcohol. The concept of drinks on Friday is phenomenal throughout society. On the occasions where Kali did not stay around after work to consume alcohol there was still no desire whatsoever to accompany me to Kirtan. She was still performing yoga (Iyengar / Hatha yoga) and I was extremely happy with this.

On the 3rd of February 2002 I had an extremely vivid dream and the detail was overwhelming. It had to do with a bus / coach and at times I was the driver with similar routes, similar people, occultism, drugs and temptation. It had intense detail of which there is way too much to describe.

I was spending a fair bit of time designing and preparing the presentation for the Mind Body Spirit Festival in early March. It was

135What On Earth Is Kundalini?the first time I had been lucky enough to be able to present a power point presentation. I had organised to borrow the necessary equipment (video projector and laptop computer). The festival ran over two days and I was set to give the presentation on the second. I had organised Kali’s father to video record the experience and presentation for future reference.

Prior to the presentation I had written in my diary the following:

“The tragedy of life is not death, it is what we let die in us while we are still alive.”

“Reality: There is only one person looking out this window.”“Meditation: Thinking about something so much that you are

not thinking.”“Goddess: The intelligence that knows what every atom in the

universe is doing.”“Do you reckon if you died right now you would die with a

smile on your face.”“Vivekananda: This life force appears to all according to their

understanding and representation of it.”On the Saturday I stayed at a very non-productive stall of my

own but I was glad to spend some time with like-minded people and literally be in the atmosphere. The following day I presented the talk and presentation.

I had the ambition of starting to write my third book (this one) around this time; unfortunately the focus or time and energy were not there. I was doing at least one hour per day of yoga to stay up to date with my course. I was blessed because I did not have to read all of the recommended literature simply because of the fact I had accumulated much of the knowledge prior to the yoga course.

I was focussing a lot of my energy towards my marriage and trying desperately not to become one of the fifty percent of my generation that cannot make marriage last more than two years. I knew how and why half of the marriages failed but I was in a situation that I had either ruined already or the suitable solution was not within my capabilities. I had a desperate desire to be a positive statistic rather than a negative one. Prior to the yoga course I often joked with my drug dealer that if I


did not give up marijuana I would be getting divorced. He would often joke in reply and say, “Do not bring your divorce papers here.” I was happy to be no longer in contact with him and to be focussing most of my energy towards creating a harmonious and balanced lifestyle in the householder sense. Thankfully due to the yogic practices I was performing I felt that my mind was a lot more focussed during the day and the energy within me felt more contained.

Kali informed me that while I had been at the Mind Body Spirit Festival on Saturday Phil had ‘visited’ her once again at home. I was extremely upset and saddened by this occurrence and informed Kali that I would prefer it if Phil did not come around and visit her when I was not at home. She replied that he was her friend and I could not tell her when to see him and when not to. I told her that I would prefer it if he came to dinner some time with both of us. I asked her to at least give me the respect that I deserved as it was my house and I could see what was going on. Upon hearing such information I would often ask Kali more questions about the interaction and I would ask questions like, “Did you touch him, did you kiss him and did you invite him to visit?” The answers were always given that she never touched him intimately, there were no invitations and he was arriving off of his own steam. I was extremely tolerant with his behaviour and on many occasions friends would often ask me why I did not ever interact with him to try and warn him not to interact with my wife in that way. I would always reply that I have discussed it with Kali and she said that it was for me to trust her, rather than act inappropriately.

Kali attended the annual “Bar Conference” for the legal profession. It was situated in Tasmania and like many conferences they are literally two days of parties with the prime emphasis on alcohol consumption and fun, rather than acquisition of professional knowledge. I had not been smoking marijuana regularly so I indulged this weekend. I had organised to get some for the time that she was away. I purchased a moderate amount and was quite happy to do nothing but smoke marijuana all weekend.

I had also lined up with a girl from work named Bec to go to the local nightspot on Saturday evening. I had informed her of my marriage dilemmas and she was wonderful to talk to about most things. Bec had

137What On Earth Is Kundalini?told me that she and several friends were going out on Saturday and that if I felt like I could do with some company I could come along. After a day of smoking, resting and sleeping I showered and then went to meet her and her friends. Upon arrival Bec was her normal chirpy self and I was introduced to a couple of her friends. It was not late at night and I was amazed to meet up with another work colleague.

This colleague absolutely oozed sex appeal and we immediately clicked. She had worked on and off within my department for the last year and to try and put words to the amount of attraction I had towards her would be unrealistic. I talked to her for a couple of minutes and then informed her that, “We could go home and have a few cones.” She replied, “Sure, I will just go and tell my friends.” I said that I would meet her outside and exited. She came out a couple of minutes later and said that she did not know if it was a good idea. I said that I was thinking the same, as I was sure that if we went home for cones, I would find it extremely difficult to not attempt in any way to have sex with her. We had a beautiful cuddle and it was agreed that it would be best if she did not come home with me. I then took off by myself and returned home.

The rest of the weekend was non eventful and I sat there in the amazement of the ability of the Goddess/Life to co-ordinate my presence in the nightclub, my wife at the bar conference many hours away and the most attractive person in Hobart to be in the same vicinity as myself with both myself and her wanting to interact in such a way. I knew that on a deeper level this was some sort of creation to test my integrity and to tempt me. I was confident that I was not going to be unfaithful to Kali just as I had stated on my wedding day. Upon her return from the bar conference I informed her that I was tempted by the most beautiful devil she has never seen. I explained the situation and was honest and proud within myself. I asked her how her weekend had gone to which she replied, “Good.”

I also learned that while at the bar conference one of Tasmania’s top lawyers got so drunk that he ate dry dog food. I remember shaking my head in disgust at knowing that actions such as this are very common within professions such as doctors, lawyers and policeman especially when excessive amounts of alcohol are


consumed. I believe that since they are made to uphold such unrealistic positions within society while their natural desires are inhibited through the need to conform according to the cultural and sociological obligations, that when the job is taken away and they are not in the professional position the smokescreen of their persona is removed all of the repressed sub-conscious issues are expressed in an imbalanced and uncontrolled way.

While our relationship was in trouble Kali’s sister and friend visited for lunch on the weekend. I remember an interaction as follows. Kali, her sister and friend were sitting at the table in the kitchen after lunch and they each had a glass of wine, which they were slowly sipping. The conversation was about a friend of the friends who had decided to sell marijuana for some extra income. (At the time it was still illegal to grow, import or sell marijuana in this country, as decided by all of our democratically elected governments). She was saying that she disagreed with it and Kali and her sister made comments like, “It’s illegal” and “He should know better.” They were sitting there as judgemental as can be when I had to interject and say, “Don’t you guys realise there is no difference in someone choosing alcohol or marijuana as a means of escapism, they are both drugs, the only difference is the Government has manipulated your mind so well that you no longer think of alcohol as a drug.” “I will have you know it is one of the most detrimental drugs in society and it creates the most problems in relation to the smooth running of a family or a relationship.” Situations like this never helped my cause directly as they seemed to distance me from Kali rather than bring us closer together. Many times like this I would feel an instant urge to state the clear hypocrisy of the situation. I have recently appreciated this as a side affect of an awakened Kundalini.

It brings to mind the time that I went to dinner with approximately ten lawyers. I was in my jeans and orange shirt, totally whacked because of some recent ganja. I was forced to speak to a QC from Canberra purely because he was seen as important. I grew an appreciation that under the influence of alcohol this man portrayed the epitome of total male chauvinism. He failed to order a meal and was content to feast on the left over portions on the plates of several other people. I antagonised him a little by saying that he was more than welcome to

139What On Earth Is Kundalini?have my whole salad if he so desired. He declined and went outside for a pipe. Upon returning he made his way down to the other end of the table and wiped his greasy fingers on the back of Kali’s jacket as he proceeded to sit down and talk to the young attractive ladies that were a small portion of his chronological age. I came away from this interaction appreciating that respect could be given to anyone irrespective of his or her profession and not necessarily because of it. There were several people present who throughout their life were constantly striving to do the best they could, according to what they knew. I did intuit that there was a natural tendency for people fortunate enough to be working in a job of so called status to perceive themselves as being slightly better or above other people.

Kali went on a holiday to Perth in Western Australia to visit a friend. Prior to leaving she had told me that she felt the holiday would be beneficial for us as she was quite willing to work towards “starting over again” upon returning. While away she consumed alcohol on several occasions. The house she was staying at had a party on one of the weekends and because of her innate beauty and natural qualities she was exposed once again to inappropriate male behaviour. Often males become extraordinarily sexually expressive after the consumption of excessive amounts of alcohol and because of this, often act inappropriately towards sober people or others. We spoke a couple of times while she was away.

I initially felt lost and did not know where to focus my energy. I realise that all relationships have good and bad days and the most important thing for me was that I have to be true to myself. I had to know this within. I hung out with Ji for the Easter Weekend and smoked lots of ganja and enjoyed myself. I caught up with Brock and it was interesting to note how weird our friendship is. I realised that my constant yoga practice was bringing things into my conscious mind as well as allowing my issues to manifest as real life occurrences. There were many issues to do with insecurities and doubts and getting in touch with my feelings.

Shortly before Kali arrived home I wrote in my diary: “If I’m still the cause of disharmony in the relationship, I will

happily leave.”


“If Kali has taken no steps to look at herself and deal with her issues, I will happily leave.”

Kali arrived back in Tasmania after her holiday to Perth. Upon arrival home Kali and I discussed her desire to holiday with the friend from Perth in Prague some time in the near future. I was more or less informed that Kali would be going on the holiday by herself with her friend. I implied that I would like to see Prague as the discussion continued. I was not really encouraged to come along and I did not feel welcome one bit but I thought that some holidays would be better off spent together since a lot of mine had been taken up with yoga in recent times. On the other side, here was my passion (wanting to know about Kundalini) tempting me to do yoga every chance I got.

There was also a third party that was influencing me and this was my brother. He had planned to get married early January 2003 in Barbados to his future Barbadian born wife. Because of the situation between my brother and myself and how the closeness has developed he really wanted me to attend his wedding and be in his wedding party. Here I was, only wanting to do yoga but obligations made me feel like I needed to please my wife and brother. The pressures played on my mind for some time before I decided that I would spend less than one week of annual leave going to Barbados and I would postpone the yoga teacher training course until a later date so that I could accompany Kali to Prague if she would let me. I realised that I had recently spent enough of my time and annual leave studying yoga.

I missed her and she came back with a lot of emotion showing and I was thankful to experience it. We had an enjoyable day together before we both returned to work on the Monday. I was conscious that Kali had enjoyed her holiday but from my own observation never had time to deal with the issues in her life that created emotional and mental fluctuations in the hope that she was to experience less disharmony and stabilise her whole life.

On our first (and only) Wedding Anniversary we decided to visit a much talked about vineyard situated south of Hobart. The meals were flavoursome and the environment was spectacular. There was a lot of noise reverberating off of the floor and walls due to the hard surfaces throughout the restaurant. I received a complimentary bread roll with

141What On Earth Is Kundalini?my meal and to my surprise it was half coated in mould. The bottom half of the roll was solid green and I looked in amazement at it. I discreetly informed the manager, she was embarrassed and immediately proceeded to compliment us with a free bottle of wine, which Kali gladly accepted. Romantically the day was non-eventful and I could feel that the connection between the two of us was suboptimal.

During the week Kali travelled to the north of the state for a hearing. Before leaving she agreed to call me straight after the hearing and tell me whether she was coming home that night or not. It was anticipated that the hearing would finish around 3 or 4 p.m., this way I could make plans for the evening, as soon as I found out which way it was going. I did not receive a call and at 7 o’clock I tracked her down to ask her if she was returning home. She told me the hearing had finished at 3 p.m. but there were “no phones around” so she could not call me. I realised that she was not in a rush to return home to see me and that she planned on staying the night anyway.

Luckily I had an unlimited amount of energy (even when smoking marijuana) so I was able to perform all the required chores. I was still filling my days with the standard routine, fortnightly performing my radio programme, fortnightly attending Cheryl’s Shamanic Circle and completing my yogic philosophy course.

Cheryl’s circle focussed on happiness this week. I realise happiness is a state of mind and during the meditative guided journey I was given some tools and symbols to assist me to maintain happiness. The first symbol was a spade, symbolic of hard work. The next symbol was a white castle, which symbolised somewhere to live and not a building that created happiness. My monkey represented fun and symbolically implied that fun can even be had throughout the bends on the road of life. The rat symbolised a companion to have fun with throughout my life. I had an intuitive flash that made me realise everyone in some way is a spiritual teacher for me right now. Another flash implied Egypt and the pyramids are remnants of where the knowledge regarding the truth once was. I symbolically intuited that a diamond sitting within my heart is the source of all happiness.

Kali and I attended a “free” introductory seminar presented by Michael Rowland. Michael Rowland is a very interesting man born in India to British parents. He has been studying yogic philosophy


and human consciousness for approximately thirty years. The introductory seminar was jammed packed full of interesting topics relating to many of life’s situations. It was like the entrée portion of his knowledge for free, to which the main meal would cost money. Kali said that she was interested in attending his seminar the following weekend and was quite willing to pay for it.

At the introductory seminar I approached Michael during one of the breaks to ask him a question. I had always been ambitious towards meeting fascinating people like this and would not sit back as I would seek out any opportunity to interact with him. I approached him while he was on the stage and waited in line for my turn to speak. I went up to him and said, “All this psychology stuff that you talk about, is it anything to do with the neurophysiologic connection of Kundalini?” Michael Rowland winked at me and said, “Kundalini is the key.” This was one of the much-needed confirmations in my life. Kali and I decided to attend the seminar in two weeks for the main meal helping of Michael’s knowledge.

The following weekend Kali and I flew to Sydney to attend Herman’s surprise 30th birthday party. We stayed in Sydney on the Friday evening and then on the Saturday we visited Ram and his partner then went to Herman’s party. It was meant to be a surprise party but someone had said the wrong thing at the wrong time to allow Herman in on the secret. Anyway Herman arrived right on time and adding to his natural ability to humour he acted surprised. He was happy to see Kali and myself and we all had a great night together. I drunk excessive amounts of alcohol and Kali drank moderately. I was totally off the show, but having a great time with many of my friends who still seemed as they did four years prior. Kali and I went to Herman’s house after the party and I partook in some marijuana inhalation. Kali was not impressed.

I woke up extremely sick the next day and was kindly informed by Kali I looked unwell and was pale grey in appearance. By lunchtime I was able to move without feeling pain so we went for lunch with Herman. He then drove us to the airport for our return to Tasmania. Upon our return Kali told me that the journey was good for her as she could appreciate that I did have a circle of friends. I

143What On Earth Is Kundalini?was happy and could see that Kali was putting in some effort to try and appreciate me but unfortunately due to Kali’s inability to see herself as loving me conditionally (due to the stipulation she had put on me about how I should act) and her inability to accept my nonconformity we were becoming more distant and our relationship stagnating. There was never any agreement to grow together and even though it was conscious in my mind it seemed inevitable that we should grow apart.

I attended Cheryl’s circle and this time I performed the guided meditation. There was a huge discussion following the meditation to which I was pleased about participant involvement. During the guided journey (that I did not facilitate) I travelled to the usual place. I travelled by river in my canoe and went through a cave only to realise I was all alone. I met my power animals and proceeded towards the castle. Upon seeing my castle I realised it was black instead of the usual white. A warlock dressed in black opened the door and I entered into the castle then into the cellar downstairs. There were pictures on the walls that appeared ill-defined as I intuited the illustrations represented all the times that I felt alone throughout my life. There were a lot of pictures and I grew an appreciation that the loneliness was ironically necessary to bring me to oneness. I reached the end of a corridor and saw a black box. I opened the small black box and out poured a serious amount of gold light. Within the light shone a gold number one. We returned from the journey and concluded, ending a great night.

I wrote in my diary: “Alone + 1”“Al 1 one”“All one”The following weekend Kali and I attended the Michael Rowland

seminar. It was a great experience and I fully appreciated that Michael Rowland had interacted with some of the most interesting and knowledgeable humans on the planet that understood the human mind and its workings. Throughout the seminar a lot of the material was extremely relevant to both Kundalini and everyday life. Michael adapted the information to make it appear relevant to the everyday


person living within the western culture especially in the context of being able to manipulate the subtle realms to fulfil desires. He discussed techniques and there were many of them. Each of the participants was encouraged to partake in the exercises that were introduced for experiential knowledge on a personal basis. Throughout the seminar he brushed on topics such as, “Your Thoughts Create Your Reality,” morphic fields, sub-personalities, the heroes journey and the levels of conscious awareness (consciousness). He also defined the word mortgage as ‘engaged until death’. This was a very practical and realistic definition, as it seems to be more and more the case these days.

Michael Rowland had previously self-published a book, so I approached him to see if he could assist me with any of my endeavours. I handed him a business card for the Australian Kundalini Research and Healing Centre and a copy of Why The Astros. I had also written a letter expressing my interest in being involved in the production of a movie and perhaps being on the national guest speaker circuit to discuss experiences relating to Kundalini. The weekend was complete and Kali had enjoyed herself thoroughly. I soon grew to realise that Kali’s marriage was not her highest priority and saving it was certainly less of a priority than being successful at work. She utilised the techniques presented at the seminar to increase her efficiency at work and to decrease the amount of cases she had to work on.

The 30th of March 2002 had clearly come and gone by now and our relationship was not getting closer but further apart. I saw it as essential that Kali start to deal with her desire for perfection. She was doing yoga on a weekly basis (for one hour and a half ) but unfortunately she was not consciously standing back from herself to analyse the situations she was unnecessarily being attracted and repelled from.

Late June I decided that ending the relationship could either be Kali’s choice or my own. I realise that I had been impatient at times (which is inherent in my own personal constitution) but I thought that at this point in time I was being reasonably understanding and quite patient. I expressed to Kali that I did not feel any closer to her these days. I said to her, “I have done what you wanted me to do, I

145What On Earth Is Kundalini?have stopped smoking marijuana, I no longer wear my favourite hat and I don’t talk about Kundalini or yoga in public.” I also stated that she had an inability to express gratitude towards the phenomenal effort I had put in to fulfil her requirements. I said to her that I knew she had an expectation that I would return to marijuana.

This expectation was present from the minute I returned from my yogic studies course and it had not left. She said that I had perceived that correctly and she was expecting me to return to the daily habit of smoking marijuana. I was glad that I proved her wrong in this instance and it made me wonder whether marijuana was really the problem in the first place. We had a slight argument about this to which she stated, “At least I’ve got friends.” To which I replied, “At least I know the key to life.” I then continued and said, “I have taken four years out of my life to understand the key to it and now I am trying to sort it out so I can live a balanced and harmonious existence. I personally recommend that everyone should take four years out of his or her life to research and come to terms with the key to human existence. Besides this I did have two close friends in the form of Ji and Brock. These two alone were worth a hundred each as far as being on the level and appreciating each other on a non-judgemental basis.

I also noted in my diary: “When problems occur do I want to leave?” “Does she want to

leave?” “Why.”“Can I handle having Kali with me in public?” “Yes.” “Am I

proud to be with her?” “Yes.” “Can she handle being with me in public?” “No.” “Is she proud to be with me?” “No.”

My reasons for staying were, she is a lovely lady who is intelligent and emphasises financial security. I love her as a symbol and manifestation of the energy of creation in the form of Shakti. I did not have many issues with her and I was quite happy to accept the ‘not so good’ aspects of her personality. When she was open it was an excellent experience to be in her presence. Unfortunately due to the experience of hurt I had made her endure, openness was a rare thing. I was also up for the challenge to see if I could be honourable to my word especially the deep-seated spiritual truths that were stated on my wedding day. I saw this as a test and was prepared for it.


There were reasons for me to go but the stability within the relationship outweighed the detrimental affects resulting from these reasons.

The reasons against staying with her were the lack of openness created by past hurt and her inability to detach herself from her profession. She perceived that I had many problems and because of this felt that a different partner would be more likely to create lasting happiness in her life. There was a total lack of understanding and appreciation towards my own situation and my passion towards researching and understanding the biological basis for mystical experience (Kundalini). I decided to stay, as I knew the manifestations around me were karmic repercussions. I had to endure them irrespective of what my personality desired.

The following week was the completion of my yogic studies part one course. I returned to New South Wales for the examinations and assessments. I asked the divine masters to look over me and assist me in my exams. The exams came and went uneventfully and I was blessed to be able to pass them with little effort. Many of the people in the course had pulled out of the examinations prior to assessment and the other people sitting the exams were somewhat nervous at times. Herman picked me up from the ashram and we spent the night together with several friends while we watched the Soccer World Cup final. A great evening was had by all of us. It reminded me of the World Cup four years prior.

Early the following week I returned to the ashram via public transport.

I noted in my diary:“Goddess gets in touch with humans through vibrations, celestial

sounds and light.”“Never me, always Goddess.”“Goddess’s will create all.”“Some names for Goddess (which are verbalizations of

perceptions of the prime audible sound and vibration.)“Goddess, Om, Jesus, Rama, Krishna, Shiva, Kun, Bani, Shabad,

Brahma, Vishnu and Shane. Some of the names representing this energy on earth include, Babaji, Sivananda, Lahiri Mahasaya, Sri

147What On Earth Is Kundalini?Yukteswar Giri, Paramahamsa Yogananda, Paramahamsa Satyananda, Paramahamsa Niranjanananda and Vivekananda.”

Yogic studies part two was much more in depth and dealt with the subtle realms. I was very excited about the content and the history. I realised I was blessed to be present at the ashram. I also realised a great responsibility has befallen me with the ownership of the website kundalini.com.au I realised on the site the Goddess’s will, must be expressed. I realised, that from outside stimuli I am the centre of all I experience and from an internal perspective the stimuli created within me allows me to give expression to everything I express. There was a need to understand and harmonise both my perception and responses to both the internal and external stimuli.

I also realised that the human race will look to Yoga and Tantra to be our saviour. Tantra not being just sex but appreciated as a philosophy pertaining to an incredibly deep spiritual existence. Due to the fact that Tantra and its philosophies revolve around enjoying all aspects of life (including the act of sexual intercourse) there has been a strong misinterpretation within the modern day culture. Tantra is closely associated with the highest spiritual practices where the sexual essence is sublimated for manipulation of internal energy and experience of subtle realms but without the correct guidance, teachings and understanding it can be extremely detrimental to the harmonious existence within life. Tantra emphasises bliss through experience and expression. (Please refer to the chapter ‘Yoga and Yogic Path’ chapter for more detail.)

While at the ashram my understanding of Kundalini was enhanced and I decided to try to become addicted to yoga rather than ganja. I realised I had to work at the Satyananda Hobart Centre more often and go slowly on my path while doing the correct thing. I noted that Kundalini is my number one passion and desire in life. This was stirring up relationship questions and very conflicting and interesting energies. I knew that Kali had the potential but realised her job came first. This led me to ponder, “Was she reflecting me?” “Was love the issue in our relationship and did I need a spiritual partner?” “Do I need this relationship?” I realised I was not bound by cultural influences and the issue had become drastic. “Why had


the Goddess put Kali in my life?” I realised there was no need to be a fatalist if I had made a mistake I should try to rectify it. I fluctuated intensely while at the ashram and the following note can allow one to appreciate the intensity. “Kali has the potential to form part of a happy relationship but unfortunately a lot of things will have to come to the surface to be dealt with which I don’t think will be possible for her. She doesn’t want to become part of the life aimed at dedication towards understanding Kundalini while practicing yoga.”

I knew she was a wonderful person and she had learnt as much as she was willing to in the fields of Kundalini, the chakras and other people reflecting her. I knew that her work and the amount of energy focussed towards it would be the downfall of our relationship but she had an inability to see this. I had a desire to allow her to incorporate yoga into a life of law and if she felt a need to stay home, if the day ever came when we were to have children then a yoga teacher would be a great profession. I had a little bit of a fantasy about building a yoga centre with her (with not much reality attached to it) I realised she had to drop some serious attachments and reassess her mental attitudes. My questions were, “What is more important, work or happiness?” “Money or love?” She was uncomfortable with the amount of money I was spending researching and understanding yoga and this was clearly displayed by her inability to appreciate that if I did not start studying yoga I would probably be in a mental asylum.

I was reassured by Michael Rowland’s comment, “The cause of all disharmony in relationships is narcissism.” When the ahamkara (self-identity) is functioning through the manamaya kosha (superficial mind) desires, attachments and self-gratification are predominant. I realised and had a universal understanding of the self so I tried to live life accordingly. I offered Kali love, assistance and support and I held confidence from my angle that I had done enough work to fulfil the demands. I didn’t hold much hope for her, as I knew she was unable to release some of the bondage that inhibited her growth and happiness. I knew that the Goddess had brought us together and realised that the union was divine in many ways.

I called Kali on the phone and felt better about the possibilities of our relationship after it. I was encouraged to have no expectations

149What On Earth Is Kundalini?and just love. I realised she is here to ground me and she does her job well. I was not sure whether the Goddess wanted me to assist Kali in her spiritual development or renounce my relationship with her. I knew that perseverance was the key no matter what.

The course was getting in to the deep end. The content was great and the preparation and the structure of the course was magnificent.

I had a realisation this week that what I experienced on the 12th of July 1998 could be labelled as “spontaneous nauli.”

Through my analysis of the situation I was in, I realised that I did deserve respect, communication and love. If I was not going to receive them in this relationship I had to face the fact that I was willing to leave it.

As the course went into detail on tantric philosophy I was amazed that throughout my life I had been aligned with it on an unconscious level. Even before attending the first yoga course I had pictures of Shiva present within my house, I was researching Kundalini and worshipped my wife as a female incarnation of Shakti.

I noted that there is nothing but the self and somehow I stumbled across a realisation of this. Four years to the day following my spontaneous Kundalini awakening I sat in the ashram and listened to a one-hour lecture specifically about Kundalini. It was bizarre and fantastic. I also learnt my first kirtan (Indian style Yogic Song) which only had five words Kundalini, Kundalini, Kundalini, jago ma. I was thankful to the divine Goddess and Kali and appreciated very much with love upon realising that Kali had been the stability in my life for the past three years. I fasted for the morning as a tribute to the Goddess.

I had a very disturbing phone call that evening with Kali. She informed me that we had too many differences. I realised that when we first met she had been recently rejected by Phil and I perhaps lifted her up for a while, since I appeared to be quite novel. She also told me she hasn’t loved me since we got married, this broke my heart. I noted that at this point in time, “I think I am getting divorced, even though I have tried so hard. I think divorce would be best.”

Kali reflected her Leo attribute of unforgiveness by often referring to, “You smoked marijuana for the first nine months


of our marriage.” I never heard her say, “It is excellent that you have stopped smoking marijuana, I will put in effort to make this work.” I look back now with twenty-twenty hindsight and wish that Kali had applied ten percent of the determination she had to be successful at work into our relationship, sadly this never happened. Understanding that Kali had grounded me and served her function within our relationship I was trying to make it up to her. I realised that the manifestations in my life that were creating several fluctuations were purely a result of karmic circumstances. I knew that with my gratitude I could support Kali in whatever way possible and I aimed to repay her by treating her special for the rest of my life. I realised she would be a great mother and lifelong companion. I prayed to allow it to work out and was determined to rid myself of any underlying issues inhibiting happiness.

I realised that the lower mind does not want to be happy and often acts as a saboteur to inhibit it. The lower mind is more closely associated with the instinctual human animal nature. The higher mind desires bliss and to be living according to the will of the Goddess only, functioning through the spiritual nature. Tantra is a unique opportunity to be able to balance both the animal and spiritual natures. I knew I was being tested to see if I was capable of developing unconditional love towards Kali. I knew it started at home and realised that I should love her for who she is. I knew she was gold and very valuable. I knew that my karmic cycle had sped up intensely since 1998 and that is one of the reasons I was with Kali. Somehow the Goddess created an opportunity for me to be with this specific person, who was one of the best opportunities to combine a life with me for both of us to deal with our issues. I grew determination not to leave the relationship and to endure it.

I had told several people at the ashram about my marriage dilemmas and they often passed comment. Shane listened intently and supported me without offering any advice. A swami informed me, “Michael, you need a spiritual partner.” While discussing the issue with another young man I said, “I have realised why I am with my wife, she makes me deal with my karma.” At this precise moment a kookaburra flew straight past us and crashed into a closed window before flying away. I saw this as a bizarre confirmation.

151What On Earth Is Kundalini?The next day I was fortunate enough to interact with Kriya, once

more to appreciate his extremely humble approach to life, realistic ability to ‘be’ and appear human as he was great to relate to on any level. I was blessed to be able to interact with Kriya on any occasion, as he is the sole individual within the country of Australia who appreciates my unique situation and attempts to answer questions relative to it in a fashion that no one else is able to. I have sought help and assistance from many sources both within Australia and off shore to minimal avail. He confirmed that either following a Kundalini awakening or ‘heavy duty’ sadhana (yoga practice) a person’s evolutionary cycle is sped up intensely. He confirmed my suspicion that within everyday life, situations can be manifested almost immediately following so much as a thought. I was sure that the events in peoples lives are a manifestation of issues to be dealt with while maintaining minimal fluctuations on a mental and emotional level but the majority of people do not interpret life on this level. Therefore they are unconscious of the significance of each experience. With someone practicing self discipline, investigation and purification their conscious awareness of different levels of being is enhanced so they have more of a chance of seeing their interactions and real life experiences as manifestations of a much more subtle realm. All I knew for sure was that I was experiencing a truckload of karmas as repercussions in my everyday life, which were seriously intense. I noted to look at the events in my life and my karmic repercussions as gifts that enable me to deal with the situation appropriately so I can get off the karmic cycle of birth and re-birth rather than obstacles inhibiting my happiness primarily relating to the manifest realm of ‘Maya’ (also known as illusion). I realised it would be more beneficial to let go of any desire to control or influence anything and go with the flow.

On July 17th 2002 I sung my first Kirtan in front of maybe twenty people. I used to be self-conscious about singing (I still am) but I no longer care about other people’s opinion and now I am inclined to perform something firstly just for the experience and secondly so other people can laugh at me.

At yet another drastic time in my life I was blessed to be placed in a situation such as the ashram to be connected with the Guru’s


energy as well as in the presence of many people in the process of self-exploration. I was blessed to have the company of a young man by the name of Dan. Dan was the husband of a student in the course and he had agreed to accompany her during her studies. They were from Hawaii and it seemed like a great learning experience for both of them. I immediately clicked with Dan and we were on the level from day one. We talked about anything and everything and I was totally blessed to be in his presence for the duration of the course. I was also blessed to have an intense young man by the name of Rudra as a room mate. Rudra taught me many things as we formed a good bond. I felt that even though I was in a predominately female environment, the Goddess had blessed me with the company of both Shane (yogic studies I), Dan and Rudra (yogic studies II).

On the last day of yogic studies two I was once again disappointed to read my e-mail and not be a recipient of any letters from my wife. I endlessly hoped that one day, as I had done to her, she would either call me or e-mail me just to say, “I love you.” This was not to be and I was resigned to the question, “How do I love the unloving?” I had come to terms with the fact that she was introverted by nature and never been overly expressive within the relationship about her emotions. I realised that I needed to work these karmic issues out, so rather than run away from them I was satisfied that I could not initiate separation. I knew that it would be of no benefit to shower her with physical things in my desire to create happiness for her. I found it realistic to allow Kali to find happiness by herself rather than through something outside of herself. I knew that there was an ecstatic bliss penetrating my whole being constantly and whenever I desired I could experience its joy. This wasn’t much good when I needed a hug. The course concluded and I was extremely thankful to Goddess and the universe for the experience.

Upon returning home I had a desire to enrol in a weekly yoga course at the Hobart Satyananda Centre. I also had a desire to cultivate romance within my marriage and to be pro-active rather than reactive.

On the way home from the airport Kali was unfortunately bound to experience one of the saddest moments of our marriage. We were

153What On Earth Is Kundalini?driving home in the car and I was discussing my thoughts about the colour orange. I said that within the ashram there seemed to be a hierarchy based on being able to stay with the tradition long enough so that the aspirant becomes a sannyasin / swami and to symbolise this the colour orange was adorned. I personally had been wearing orange for most of my life as it was my favourite colour but upon observing the hierarchy formed around it I gained a slight aversion. While travelling home I informed Kali of this and told her that I might not wear orange any more.

Upon walking in the door on arrival I walked into the study where my cupboard was and to my amazement one of the blue walls had been painted orange. Kali’s poor heart must have been broken and I felt like a complete fool. This was more or less a confirmation that we were bound to split up and no matter how hard we tried to please each other we were unable to. It made me realise an important fact, that being: that what I think will please someone else is only my interpretation and assumption of what they would be pleased by rather than really knowing what they would be pleased by. It is really hard to hold on to ones own value and belief system while trying to interpret what another person’s opinion is in regards to their values and beliefs.

I asked Kali if she would be able to come to the ashram next time an ‘intensive residential’ was on to accompany me. I got this idea from Dan and the Swami. There was not much response from Kali and I didn’t think that she realised how much it would mean to me. Prior to yogic studies one and the cessation of my daily marijuana inhalation Kali would often recommend that I see a counsellor for some counselling. I would often reply that not many counsellors are aware of Kundalini let alone the intensity of ones life following its awakening. Upon conclusion of yogic studies two and while in discussion with her I suggested that it was time for her to seek counselling and that I would be more than willing to support her throughout it so that she had someone to discuss the issues with.

I fell back into the daily regime, which did not involve marijuana inhalation but a full day from 5.30 to 9.30 involving yoga, household, work, pets and radio obligations. I was personally


doing reasonably well and I had only smoked marijuana six times in the last six months. This was an extreme improvement on at least six times in two days. Unfortunately there was no recognition of this by Kali.

On Saturday the 3rd of August 2002 Kali and I accompanied three work colleagues to an opera. The opera was well performed and I enjoyed it. I realised there was a total lack of affection and attention towards me from Kali. She did not look at me all night and did not so much as touch my hand.

Upon arriving home I was deeply saddened and frustrated. It had gotten to the point where I could give no more of myself and I could not compromise my own integrity any more. After all I had become a shell of my previous existence, which totally inhibited me from being true to who I really was. I told her that I had had enough and asked her to move to her parent’s house for a week to decide if she wanted to be with me. I told her that I am a reasonable person who is honest and maintains a good integrity but the demands put on me by her to keep her happy were neither fulfilling their desired outcome or being recognised when achieved. Her parents were travelling through other states of Australia for the best part of nine months, which was to be there post retirement trip of a lifetime. Her parent’s house was empty and was less than ten minutes drive from ours. This was at midnight on Saturday night and I told her to go and stay at her parents for one week until she made up her mind.

I grew to appreciate the synchronicity of the all pervading life force when she told me the next day whilst driving from our house to her parent’s house she “coincidently” drove past a policeman who had pulled over someone for interrogation. The policeman was Phil and to my astonishment and bizarre confirmation Phil was at the time out of his vehicle and standing on the road. It was inevitable that Phil saw Kali drive past and I knew that he would be ‘on the hunt’ throughout the week. This sort of synchronicity was normal in my life but it deepens an appreciation and understanding of Brock’s comment, “You just have to admire God.”

Before actually knowing about the synchronicity of Phil being placed in Kali’s way I went to Kali’s parent’s house early the following

155What On Earth Is Kundalini?morning to express my feelings. I was totally sad and shaken and while crying asked her to give us another go. She informed me that she would stay at her parents for a couple of nights to assess things. It was one of the saddest days of my life. I did not go to work on the Monday because I did not want to talk to people. Kali did not stay at our house Monday night either but she did come around on the Tuesday because we agreed to visit a councillor.

I had been very sad and lonely in the all too familiar environment, which was now extremely quiet and ‘empty’. She arrived and we headed off to see a psychologist. The psychologist was sub-optimal to say the least and from my perspective not too switched on. The biggest question from the psychologist was, “Do we fulfil each other’s needs?” My understanding was that this approach would only encourage co-dependant relationships as ones needs are often taken out of context when related to our culture or the innate needs of the human species. (See next chapter)

Upon leaving from the councillor’s house I convinced Kali to come and see Jean (my favourite clairvoyant). Even though Jean knew that Kali had all but left me (except on a physical level) she said words that were reassuring to myself and encouraging to Kali. We returned home together and Kali dropped me off.

The following day I was left to wonder whether people really considered the words during the marriage ceremony, and whether in today’s culture they had the integrity to stay true to them. “For better or worse as long as we both shall live” were the words I had in mind. Thinking about these words I laughed to myself, “If Kali thinks she saw the worst of me when I was always respectful to everyone she interacted with in my presence, a decent human being, a regular westie (from the western suburbs of Sydney) and a pothead. She has no idea how bad the ‘worst’ can be” I knew that Kali wanted to be with me some days and not others but unfortunately I saw this in the light of conditional love and non-acceptance. I did not want to delve into the underlying causes of her doubts about the relationship but I questioned her desire and ability to address them if need be.

She was still not home by the following weekend and I knew our marriage was doomed. Kali had decided prior to Christmas (less


than eight months after our marriage) that we were not meant to be together because of our differences. She also decided in January (nine months) and July (fifteen months) of the year 2002. Unfortunately due to her innate attributes and qualities she had an inability to forgive me for any past hurt I had caused her, and due to her lack of energy from over exertion at work on a mental level she was prone to procrastinate about things more personal.

On the Sunday after taking a full week to consider our future together she visited me to inform me that it was over. It was good to get confirmation after all this time, as I knew it was inevitable. I was in shock and disbelief and broke down crying as I was extremely emotionally traumatised. That afternoon she attended a “baby shower” with several friends. As she drove away from our house I stood there in total disbelief, even though I had seen it coming, mortified at the visual experience of my wife driving away from our house to leave me. In one way it was fortunate that she went to the baby shower because it brought up sub-conscious desires for parenting and hidden emotions on a maternal level.

Late that evening Kali arrived at our house. I was ecstatically happy to have my wife present in the house. She stayed the night and we lived as usual. There was however a total lack of emotion and affection towards me, and this did not seem to change in a hurry. Kali was waiting for things to change or magically happen without any positive or conscious input.

I knew and realised the confirmation of the following quote, “There are three types of people,Ones that watch things happen, Ones that make things happen,And ones that wonder what happened.”I knew that Kali unfortunately fell into the first category. I see

myself in the second category but realise that while making things happen sometimes due to my impatience the outcome desired is not always achieved.

While Kali was back in our house living with me it was decided that we should go away for the weekend for her birthday. I organised a weekend at a beautiful resort on the east coast of Tasmania and

157What On Earth Is Kundalini?on the Friday evening after work we left. I put in much effort to be organised and the whole weekend went really well. We relaxed and enjoyed the resort and I was amazed that while in a frame of mind that was relaxed and not influenced at all by full time work that Kali was fantastic to be with and at ease with herself. When she was open and stress free it was amazing how close it was between us. Just as before we met, when she was open I had an uncanny ability to be able to pick up on what she was thinking. This did not last for long as we were soon bound for the stresses of home, life and work.

Like many situations I asked Kali to be clear when she pinpointed the cause of disharmony in her life. She was early in her career so that was tedious initially and she was performing jobs in two different departments which stretched her capabilities to enhance her learning process. Because work was over prioritised initially the other areas in her life unfortunately suffered due to an inappropriate focus of energy. I knew the relationship was doomed and it was unfortunate that even being a lawyer Kali was not able to fulfil either her marriage contract or a verbal agreement. The marriage contract was clearly stated in the word on the day and we also had a verbal agreement as this was mainly realised and appreciated due to our differences.

My life was devoted to understanding my experience in 1998 and being able to contain the energy. Kali was moving along the lines of conforming to the lawyer lifestyle and a culturally conditioned approach to life, which is based primarily on economics. She was not into acquiring material possessions for no reason but she did have a natural tendency to overemphasise the economic side of life in relation to security. We formed an agreement that Kali would look after and advise us on financial investments and I would look after and advise us on spirituality and self-development. Even though I had been working full time for a while (to please the mother-in-law) and I was now working four days a week (with on-call) and I was fulfilling my part on a financial level, Kali unfortunately never had the time to partake in conscious self-development.

Even though Kali was physically present in the house the emotional connection apart from her birthday weekend was not present. I was coming to terms with the distance I had created between Kali and myself


and I was more than willing to accept everything as a consequence of my own actions. I had realised that I had made Kali endure heartbreak, rejection and emotional turmoil as well as total isolation and I was due for the same experience. This is probably why during the last couple of months there had been so many fluctuations in my life. One weekend Kali and I would be out looking for investment properties and the next weekend we would be talking about splitting up.

I had come to terms with the fact that I was willing to work as hard as possible to resurrect my marriage and maintain the love for my wife. Unfortunately Kali was not in the same frame of mind and I could perceive this very obviously. We tried to socialise in our current situation but a total lack of connection between the two of us was obvious. My wife had a serious dilemma and unfortunately she could not justify the time or energy to find a solution. She procrastinated for several months because intuitively she knew she would be making a mistake as far as her spiritual wellbeing was concerned but she was destined to leave me, as it was inevitable. The irony of the situation was that she saw staying with me the easy option and leaving me as the hard option whereas I knew leaving me was the easy option and staying the hard option. My justification for this was that staying involved coming to terms with the issues creating unhappiness and working through self-discipline and regular practice towards a better understanding of the self.

I met up with a new friend from work (Bert) to go and see the one man show performed by someone called The Regurgitator. It was fascinating to watch, at times the man was able to swallow ten coins and bring them up either by themselves or in specific order (as they were each numbered separately) at a specified time. He could swallow light bulbs whole and the same with an ‘eight’ ball. One time he swallowed a padlock, the key and a ring seperately. To our amazement he was able to place the ring on the locked padlock and remove the key without obvious external assistance. For his final act he swallowed a big glass of water, a fish, a film canister and it’s lid. He managed to fill the canister up with water then place the fish in it and put the lid on (all while inside his stomach and not visible) he managed to regurgitate the full canister and the fish was emptied out of it back into it’s tank.

159What On Earth Is Kundalini?A couple of nights later Kali went out with a friend from work

for a “girls night out.” I was perturbed by the company Kali had kept throughout her dilemmas as she would often confide in friends who were struggling to maintain any stable relationship, full of cravings and desires to fulfil their wants and definitely not self-realised. I wondered how these people could offer valued judgement on any situation. I did not have much other choice as Kali definitely did not want to deal with the issues I was bringing to mind so I just had to sit there and watch things dissolve around me. One of her friends had organised a “girl’s night out” on Saturday night. I was left to occupy myself, which was fine and at around 8 o’clock Kali went out. Prior to her leaving she had informed me that not many girls were going and it was only her and her friend that were visiting one of the friend’s friends (who was a male politician.) I did not feel comfortable with the politician, purely because when I first met him he shook my hand and winked at me and implied that I should vote for him but apart from this he was no threat to me.

Kali arrived home at 5.30 am and you can imagine that I had quite a sleepless night. She told me (upon interrogation) that she had been at the politician’s house until midnight, while there had drunk copious amounts of wine and then went to a nightclub. The politician did not venture out to the nightclub so Kali and her friend went by themselves. Kali informed me that for approximately half the time that she was at the nightclub she had interacted with Phil. Although there was nothing intimate as she stated and I believe her, it did not reassure me or make me comfortable about the future of our relationship in any way. Kali informed me that she did not organise the meeting and once again I was left to admire life and its ability to synchronise the presence of two beings in the same place at the same time to deal with personal issues. Kali then went to sleep for several hours and upon waking was extraordinarily emotional and intimate. It was good to appreciate, however I was left to wonder where the motivation for such actions came from. It was certainly not the first time in my life that a partner had interacted very recently with an ex boyfriend and soon afterwards expressed intimacy towards me. It made me realise that even though people believe they are


acting according to their best understanding of minimising harm to others, it is a rare occasion where females are actually conscious of the emotional side of males.

I realised that Kali was still full of fear that was exacerbating doubts in her mind. I knew that she had to combat fear with faith and love but ultimately it was her choice. Kali also had issues with Phil and she had created a vibration within her mind of perfection based on fantasy. I told her that I realised this was a great situation for her to be in as she had to decide to start dealing with the fluctuations in her mind if she wanted contentment. I informed her that situations like Saturday night definitely make me feel uncomfortable because after all I am human. The important thing I realised is my expression about the situation, which has to be understanding, controlled and relative. I appreciated all the experiences as opportunities for growth and this was a big one.

Unfortunately Kali did not want to leave me because intuitively she thought she might be making a mistake but staying with me was rationalised to be a mistake also. I had had enough and realised that I was experiencing total rejection. Ironically I should have felt inadequate with my wife rejecting me but instead I felt more adequate than ever and knew that I did not have to put up with the situation much longer. I knew that Kali’s dilemmas were not necessarily mine, even though I was available to assist her to overcome them. My new issue was to treat her the same when she is tired and distant and when she is fresh, open and alive. I knew and could see what was going on and I decided to stay with her until she realised and decided she wanted to be with me.

On September 7th 2002 Kali and I visited two of her friends in hospital who had just had baby boys. We returned home for lunch around noon then Kali told me she had to do some work in town. I said, “I will probably see you at six.” To which she replied, “No, not that late.” I called her at 3 o’clock and asked her to get some cheese on the way home and she said, “Ok.” At 4 o’clock I called her to see how far my cheese was away and there was no answer at her work phone. At 5 o’clock she called me from her parent’s house and told me that she would not be coming home. She informed me that she had had lunch then went to work for a while and dropped in to Phil’s on the way home. She decided to inform me over

161What On Earth Is Kundalini?the phone that our marriage was over (for a second time) because as she said, “I can’t tell you to your face as you break down.”

She was absolutely correct because I had loved her so much and saw her as the manifestation of Shakti (manifested energy) every time she talked about separation during the past month I would cry uncontrollably, literally sobbing non-stop. I remember quite vividly the time I was begging her not to leave while I was on my hands and knees in the hallway crying profusely. Kali and I once discussed it, how she did not know how to provide for my needs or me so she could not fulfil them. I told her that all I ever wanted was love. Ironically I had married the perfect person to be able to allow me to deal with my karma. Kali unfortunately (due to her work and the amount of mental energy that it drained) never found time to open up and express joyous emotions within our relationship. By no means was I an angel but I was of the understanding that the first couple of years of any marriage are the most difficult and serious work and compromise must be put in to understand and appreciate each other as well as grow together for a harmonious future. I woke up alone on the Sunday, forced to concede defeat on my marriage. I noted in my diary that I did not quit and perhaps Kali was not ready for someone like me. I am extremely intense in many ways but I do hold honesty and humility dear to my heart. Marriage is a huge commitment and I advise anyone contemplating it not to take it lightly.

I also noted, “So much for the plan of only being married once in this lifetime. Expect the unexpected.”

I also noted, “Know within yourself that you are good enough. Ultimately it is Kali’s choice of future. Even if she lacks understanding. I am a good man. If she chooses not to grow spiritually with me in this lifetime she appears unwise but cannot be blamed for her limited understanding. Try to help her.”

Another week went by and I did not go to work as I was not emotionally equipped for it nor could I be bothered. One night I went out alone just for the experience but realised and confirmed my initial feelings from many years ago that the so-called night spots that are primarily designed to socialise and interact are sub-optimal


in the fact that they over-emphasise alcohol and the noise is often too loud.

Kali and I agreed on the sum for the settlement, which went reasonably straightforward.

In late September 2002 I purchased a house five minutes from the centre of Hobart. I invested the money in a property, as I knew it was best for financial stability in the future as this opportunity would one day become equity and since the current culture overemphasises money as the life force then I have to play the game.

The saddest period of all was the time between splitting up and moving out. Being in the environment that was all too familiar and associated with the company and presence of my wife was at times unbearable. I once again smoked marijuana copiously in an unconscious effort to escape the emotional torture that I had helped bring upon myself. I was on one hand dumbfounded as it had seemed my behavioural patterns had changed to conform with my wife’s demands, prior to splitting up I was not smoking marijuana, not wearing my favourite old hat and trying to refrain from talking about Kundalini and yoga in the company and presence of my wife and anyone associated with her. After stating and clearly proving that I had conformed in many ways I asked why there had been no recognition or appreciation shown to encourage me. The most classic response that I received was the reply of, “I don’t think I am attracted to you now as I have lost all feelings towards you when you betrayed me for nine months by smoking marijuana every day.” Even to the extent of hearing, “I have to split up with you, I feel like I might cheat on you if we don’t split up.” On the other hand I was growing a deeper appreciation for the fact that on a subtle level a lot of my karmic repercussions had been burned up and acted out through being manifested in my life. Looking back I realised the experience and period was extremely sad but in reality it was a great karmic cleansing experience. It took me a while but after realising and putting into context the whole experience of ultimate rejection in physical form, emotional turmoil and extreme isolation I realised that the year 2002 was a fantastic time.

I was focussing more and more towards my new house and was happy to realise that once the mind is focussed and motivated

163What On Earth Is Kundalini?towards a certain job or thing then after starting and maintaining focus there is a big chance nothing else will be thought about until the job is completed. Slowly things were coming together as I was organising to move out and into the new house. I was emotionally unstable and it was great to receive a phone call from both Herman and Johnny just to see how I was.

I became quite close to a girl at work who had recently started working there. She was more focussed towards an earthly lifestyle and comfort rather than conformity as one of her main priorities. She was extremely cute and I was attracted to her. We hung out together for a couple of days of which I am eternally thankful as the company was much needed. I was coming straight from a failed marriage and even though my emotional connection to Kali had been minimal for a significant period. The feeling that I had towards this young lady was somewhat tainted by my attachment to Kali. I knew I was on the rebound and to be clear about my desires I had to understand my feelings. Unfortunately due to my innate ability to be overly intense and somewhat impatient the companionship was not meant to be for much longer than a couple of days. It did serve a purpose in my life and I am thankful for it because it helped me get through the experience I had recently endured. I am sure that on a subconscious or unconscious level I am made to act in an overly zealous way in an attempt to overcome a deep seated longing to not be alone. I once again realise that I was looking for love in the wrong direction and in my vain attempt to be happy I would often worry about pleasing the other person at my expense.

On the 17th of October 2002 I was once again in a state of mind that was becoming all too common. The state was similar to that which the mind is in between the time of consciously attempting to go to sleep and the actual point of becoming unconscious to the external environment, it can also be associated with the state of mind acquired by focussing solely on one object and withdrawing the mind from all other stimuli coming into it. This state is often achieved while sitting on the toilet, looking deep into a beautiful scene or while performing a physical activity. While in this state it appeared that I was in direct perception with the vijnanamaya kosha and when one specific subject was brought into my mind then all


the information in the world, relating to that subject / object would enter my mind. On this specific day I had the realisation that when smoking marijuana through a bong the yogic technique of nasikagra drishti (nose tip gazing) is performed. It is noted that this technique stimulates muCapter ladhara chakra, thus activating and awakening the Kundalini. This activity accompanied with nauli (abdominal movements / massage) could definitely coincide at the time of a spontaneous Kundalini awakening.

It had been an extremely sad and lonely period and I was looking forward to moving into my new house. I had organised most things and my friend JMC was going to help me with the furniture and belongings. He helped me over the weekend and within a couple of days I had ceased existing in the house that I shared with my wife and had moved to a slightly larger house on the other side of the river. I was still smoking marijuana daily because I saw it as a coping mechanism to inhibit or limit the intensity of the emotional experience. I knew it was also a form of escapism and repression. I was still in the situation where I was unable to talk about the passionate things in my life and had to compromise my own integrity and self to interact at a cultural level.

I was doing yoga sadhana on a regular basis but I felt I was lacking true mystical experience. This accompanied with my repressed ability to express myself and my innately intense sexual energy created the drive and the desire to place an ad in the paper advertising for casual sex. Sure I wanted sex as everyone at some point in their life normally does but I was getting to the point where I was sick of the culturally formulated “meeting places” so I chose a different tactic. I was also growing a deeper appreciation for the fact that as a human being I have been placed on the planet not only to live a lifestyle that reflects my true understanding of the interconnectedness and oneness of the universe but also to enjoy and appreciate all aspects and dimensions of being and life.

In October I received a couple of phone calls relating to the advertisement. I visited one young lady and grew an appreciation that like many females she had been abused and used by males in the past, which resulted in her presently being sexually imbalanced and psychologically unstable. After analysing the situation and after me realising and appreciating that due to an understanding of the

165What On Earth Is Kundalini?interconnectedness of the self I can no longer manipulate anyone purely for my own gratification or gain it was decided that we could partake in the act of sexual intercourse because we both came to terms with the reality behind the situation and realised that we both wanted it. It was some time before I saw this young lady again.

After moving out of the house that I had shared with Kali I decided to replace my four-wheel-drive with a smaller car. I had desired a Corolla exactly the same as the one that I traded in to purchase my four-wheel-drive initially but realised they were extremely rare and due to the fact they were and still are a great car people do not readily sell them. Within a couple of weeks of moving into the new premises I received a phone call from the young lady who had previously enquired about the advertisement. She informed me that she was alone and in desperate need of some sex and asked me if I could help her out. I was more than happy to oblige and arrived within ten minutes. I was in the door less than one minute and the action commenced. I ejaculated reasonably quickly and within fifteen minutes of entering the door I was starting to get dressed. She told me that I should get going as soon as I got dressed, to which I replied, “Is that all, you just want me to come around, do deeds and go.” She said, “Is that alright with you?” To which I replied. “Yeah! That’s fully excellent.” I completed getting dressed and while in a state of amazement and bliss I hopped into my car, started it and proceeded to turn it down the street. Because I was in a state of disillusion, which could be equated loosely to sattvic state (often related to as the daydreaming state) I turned the wrong way to go home but followed the street to the end anyway. It was a longer route and I didn’t intend to drive that way. When I pulled up at the first corner I was amazed to see a red corolla that matched the specifications of my desired one.

The car was exactly the same model as the one I had traded in for the four-wheel-drive and immediately I sensed that this was a great opportunity for me to once again upgrade my car. This was on a Sunday evening and on the Monday morning I returned to the caryard to organise the purchase. I was fed with the usual line and it will never cease to amaze me how every time I purchase something


from either a caryard or a real estate agent, no matter how big an interest in the car previously to me enquiring about it, coincidently upon offering a price I immediately learn that there has been another offer on either the vehicle or the house and the offer is very similar to mine but only a little more so for me to purchase the object required I have to increase my initial amount or agree on purchase immediately to inhibit the chance of the other party purchasing it. I didn’t care about other parties, as I knew I was going to buy this car anyway. I purchased the Corolla of which it is the third of its type that I have owned. The whole experience made me wonder about the coincidental nature by which the car had appeared and it’s relevance to the blissful state I was in at the time.

I was now settling in to my new life and coming to terms with it. I had a new car, which resembled my previous one and I lived in a house by myself with my sole dependant, my boxer Astro. I had agreed to participate in the activities relating to a weekend of yoga relating to utilising strengths and recognising weaknesses to actively encourage and develop a harmonised and balanced existence. I remember my continued connection with Kali causing me some emotional grief especially when relating to the custody battle for Astro. Unfortunately Kali was unable to distance herself from her attachment to Astro and she felt a need and desire to spend time with him. I was blessed to have the opportunity where Kali could look after Astro sometimes but realistically the option with Kali was always plan B and plan A was my friends Jenny and Steve who have willingly accommodated and spoilt Astro when I have needed him to be looked after for most of his life.

On one specific occasion Kali called me and asked me if she could come around and pick Astro up. I replied, “It will be ok as long as you agree to one condition.” To which she asked, “What is the condition?” I said, “You can come around as long as you don’t fall in love with me because I am wearing exactly the same clothes, I own exactly the same car and I have just smoked marijuana and I am stoned just like when you first met me.” It was a strange and bizarre experience for me to appreciate that I was still doing the same activities and dressing in a similar fashion to what I had been three years ago. I understood that the person I was did not really change but I had to lose myself to love to really know what it is. My parents and friends often tell me

167What On Earth Is Kundalini?that I have not changed. I shake my head and wonder why Kali was attracted to me in the first place. I understood and appreciated the irony of the situation. This being that Kali entered the relationship after being initially attracted to me with the often-unconscious desire (as is similar with at least eighty percent of females) to change or alter my behavioural patterns in some way while working within the relationship. I knew the dynamics of relationships and understood them to be directly related to the concept of opposites attract.

Initially a person is attracted to someone who reflects qualities and attributes that are hidden or repressed within ones own personality. It works for both sexes and it brings a couple together to allow them each to work on and to develop their hidden parts to become complete and enhance their understanding of themselves and the various aspects of it. Unfortunately this dynamism and natural tendency within the innate human behavioural patterns has formed partnerships that are co-dependant and based not on self-understanding but co-dependence motivated by lust to form a financially viable partnership. The biggest irony I find in current relationships like this is once a person within the relationship has either consciously or unconsciously chosen not to develop or grow into a further and deeper understanding of their own nature they have a tendency to rely on the other person for completion. Ironically this results in the stimuli that initially attracted the person also becomes a stimuli that repels the person. Due to the persons inability to develop the initially attractive attribute they start to resent it and are eventually repelled by it.

I was continuing to study and practice during my yogic studies two course. I had now successfully sabotaged my relationship and marriage to my wife, which was all motivated from an unconscious level. This saboteur was bound to get bored with nothing to do so it then started to direct its energy towards my workplace. I was also renovating my new house, addicted to marijuana and left to ponder what on earth is going on with me. I discussed it with my brother Ram and told him of my concerns. I told him that my behaviour was starting to concern me in the way that if I was introduced to me and talked to me in conversation for about five minutes, then


there is a big chance that I would walk away shaking my head at the person that I interacted with (me) and wonder which planet I was from and refer to me as a “space cadet”. Even though Ram is a devout Christian he answered my concerns by saying that it more than likely had something to do with the Kundalini and that is probably why I act like I do. He comforted me by saying that I should not worry about it.

While at work one day I felt an abnormally intense desire to express violence towards Phil and walk straight up to him to punch him in the face. I watched myself and my feelings trying to pinpoint the cause and origin. I told the lady at work that, “I feel like being violent to someone.” She replied, “It’s probably normal.” It hit me like a rock and for such a simple response it made me feel at ease with the emotion that was currently being experienced. I realised that feelings of anger and the need to express them violently are natural attributes of the human being and have their justifying place in the whole schemata. I did come to terms with the understanding that the expression of the energy and repressed emotions would be better off focussed creatively and positively. I never did see Phil and since he is a Policeman I am glad that I stayed away rather than created animosity. I did receive a few offers from friends for them to go around and sort him out to which I pleasantly and joyously declined.

In late November 2002 I had organised to participate in the yoga weekend that was organised through the Satyananda Yoga Centre in Hobart. I had several questions relating to my practices, these being: Is there a danger relating to the cultivation of paravairagya? When contracting my pelvococcygeal muscles (situated inside the perineum) in order to perform the technique termed moolabandha I would often experience a form of energy running from the perineal area to the base of the skull (namely the tentorium) and as the energy reached the tentorium the body would shake around the neck and head region. To appreciate the discernment between contraction of the ureteral sphincter, the pelvococcygeal muscles and the anal sphincter repeated practice with a focussed mind is essential. I was experiencing a weird sensation upon completion of urination as I would try to squeeze the last few drops of urine out. To my surprise

169What On Earth Is Kundalini?seminal fluid (precum) would dribble out of my penis as a cloudy slippery liquid. It would sting as it made its way along the urethra. While at work I discussed the possibility of this ‘abnormal body function’ with a medical doctor, he informed me that it is not recognised that semen can leave the penis firstly without stimulation and secondly not prior to orgasm and climax.

The yoga weekend was focussed around the SWAN theory. The head of the Satyananda Yoga tradition (Swami Niranjanananda Saraswati) has introduced and conceptualised this theory for the human race. The weekend was run by Swami Shankarananda Saraswati, whom is a qualified medical practitioner and has been studying yoga and complimenting it with medical practice for at least twenty years. He is a great man and has a very advanced appreciation of many levels of being. Upon arrival and after settling in I approached him to have the questions answered. He said that it is dangerous to cultivate paravairagya, as this would leave one without any desire at all. I discussed the concept with him and had to discern between dispassion and escapism due to previous hurt.

I had recently realised that I was not really passionate about too many things and this trend was continuing. I was not excited about buying a new house or car but understood these to be financial acquisitions in a much-needed time while living in a culture thriving on the cycle of consumerism and economics. I appreciated paravairagya mainly in the context of minimising joy and sadness in relation to all stimuli. I realised that if I didn’t get too excited about things then this would also reflect in minimising sadness at the other end of the spectrum. The shakes and shivers I was experiencing in the area of the tentorium were not discussed in detail. I did discuss the experience of squeezing semen out of my penis following urination and I was informed that this was a normal occurrence with such yogic practices and that I should not be overly concerned but if I felt a need I should minimise the intensity of the practice. I have personally spent less time with Shankadev than I have with Kriyatma so I am not too sure that Shankadev appreciates my own personal situation but I am assured that from my interactions with him he is the second person in Australia that can answer my questions with answers that I deem specific and accurately correct.


During the weekend I grew an appreciation for many aspects of my life and tried to come to terms with them. In the area of respect I realised that I attempt to respect all people and even though I have issues I attempt to respect them in a way that does not force my values and beliefs onto them.

Responsibility is not my favourite subject and I know that I am ultimately going to have to function in a job of much responsibility. I realised that one of my purposes in this life is to live as an example of the tantric way of life and be able to teach people that way of life if they are interested.

Embrace life, life is love.I had realised that because I am a sensitive person I had a

natural tendency to be overly understanding within relationships and at times I appeared to be a bleeding heart. I realised that I had relived a similar cycle within many of my relationships. Overall the weekend was fantastic and most enjoyable. At times I helped out in the kitchen and hung around with the cook because I liked the way she looked and appreciated her spiritual inclinations. Upon returning home I noted that the Satyananda Yoga Tradition is genuine and untainted and stems from a lineage direct from Adi Shankaracharya. It is an integral yoga that applies the yogic techniques relative to an individual’s unique constitution and this is why I feel comfortable with it and am growing a stronger affiliation with it.

I also realise that Kali (along with all life forms on the planet) was only living according to how she knew how to and doing the best she could. When I look at life this way and realise that everyone is simply doing their best while acting according to their innate nature. This understanding allows me to appreciate even the most inappropriate behaviour. This makes me appreciate my dog a lot more and realise that when he licks me he is only doing that because he does not have hands to pat me. Like the discussion I had with my neighbour when I said, “He licks me because he doesn’t have a hand to pat me with.” And my neighbour said, “That’s probably a good thing.” I said, “Yeah, you can just imagine if he had a mouth and wanted to talk.” Then my neighbour replied, “He’d probably just ask to borrow money anyway.” To which I laughed. So I gained

171What On Earth Is Kundalini?a deeper appreciation for all life forms in understanding that they act according to their programming.

Upon completion of the weekend I returned home in a happy mood. I proceeded to mow the lawn and while mowing it I was singing the mantra “Om Namah Shivāya.” Prior to mowing the lawn the clouds in the sky looked like they had the potential to rain so I prayed that it wouldn’t until I finished mowing the lawn. Upon completion of mowing the lawn I was still very happy and I thanked Life and the Goddess for not raining. As I was returning inside I was in a peacefully balanced and blissful state when I heard the chirp of a sparrow. I felt the sound was beautiful, then I noticed a beautiful seagull flying through the air directly up above my head then I noticed some very magnificent white clouds and admired the beauty of life that surrounded me. The sparrow then flew off of my power pole and into the distance when I said in my mind, “Hey sparrow, where are you going, come back here.” At that very moment a sparrow flew out of the pine tree and landed one metre from my feet then flew away. I burst out laughing and realised it was a great experience. I also appreciated the ability to influence the manifested world around me and wondered if it was necessary to be in a sattvic (balanced and blissful) state of mind. This was another example that confirmed, “Your thoughts create your reality.” I called Ram and discussed this with him and was amazed that through his study of the bible and own experiences he understands a lot.

Later that week I had been out during the evening and upon returning home pushed the buttons on the phone that would tell me the number of the person who last called while I was not there. This was strange because it was not a normal behavioural pattern and it is the first time I can remember doing it for many years. Coincidently the number recorded was the cook (Durga) from the yoga weekend. Durga and I spoke for a while and organised to meet up on Friday evening. We had much in common and Durga was very knowledgeable. I was once again left to admire the synchronicity and ability of Goddess because of the experience to create a situation in my life where I would interact with someone opposite to my wife. Kali was initially laid back, creative, artistically expressive and easy


going until her occupation demanded more of her than anything else in her life which forced her to maintain a lifestyle focused around conformity which eventually led to artistic repression. Durga on the other hand was a total non-conformist and totally expressive artist. I visited Durga’s house, which was located on the isolated side of a bay in a beautiful area of Tasmania, and I have never experienced such sheer natural beauty and bliss at minimal expense.

Amazingly Durga was content to swim at the same aquatic centre as me and also visit the same yoga centre. We spent several weekends together and the honesty and openness was fantastic. Durga was a warm and caring person with an extremely grounded and passionate approach to life, this all being expressed in a very biologically real way. The communication was deep and I decided to spend time with Durga mainly for the lessons that she could teach me. I learnt that within the western culture the majority of communication is based on recognition rather than true communication. This being evident in the way that people are often all too ready to talk about their experience / response or continue the conversation before the other person has completed their sentence. Even by thinking what someone else is getting at, is a sign of recognition rather than genuine understanding. It is also a poor reflection of the lack of time we have for each other within our busy culture.

I had been working most days but unfortunately the record of sick days I was having was quite evident to my bosses. I’m not too sure whether they tried to put it into context or appreciate the reasons behind it but when I did have an inability to go to work I would not go. When I did not attend work, most of the time I was motivated by a psychological reason rather than a physical one. I was also working in an environment that demanded efficiency but lacked maintenance and proper upkeep. I had been bringing the sub-optimal conditions to the attention of my chief radiographer whom I thought was in the process of rectifying them.

Christmas work drinks were organised in the workplace and families of the staff members were more than welcome to attend. For the second year in a row the children in the tribe that belonged to the cleaner harassed me. The natural ability to allow children to feel

173What On Earth Is Kundalini?comfortable around me was phenomenal. Durga came to the Christmas party and to the doctor’s party that flowed into the evening. On arrival at approximately 8.30 pm there was a lot of smiles and conversation and it was quite enjoyable. Around about 10 o’clock, as people were being slowly influenced by excessive consumption of alcohol it became apparent that the energy in the room had become more sexual, this being a reflection of consciousness related to the lower two or three chakras.

On Christmas day I was blessed to have a surrogate family. Durga was invited to a Christmas bash by some of her neighbours and I was welcome. Not only on this day but also throughout our relationship Durga had the tendency to introduce me to some fascinating people. The day was spent overlooking the magnificent area of Marion Bay in Tasmania and the company was delightful. I interacted with a guy who told me about his Kundalini awakening and it was great to relate on this level. Durga had many spiritual friends and was well exposed to the local alternate culture. I was blessed to be in her company for whatever time. Christmas dinner was beautiful and the evening was enjoyable.

My then girlfriend (Durga) was aged seven years my senior and I was wondering about the seriousness of the situation. I was still confused, Kali had moved in to a relationship with Phil within a couple of weeks of our separation and I saw Durga while being spiritual and interactive in the community as a likely prospect to help me get on with my life. I was thinking about the natural tendency that is displayed within this culture, that being the male dating females that were younger than them. I had always had an attraction to slightly older women, perhaps for their maturity or motherly aspect, maybe even their emotional expression. Another reason I enjoyed Durga’s company was because she was more extroverted and animated than Kali, so I thought I would hang around sometimes purely because of the intensity and the uniqueness of the experience. My father thought it was a good idea to think about spending one’s life with a female partner that is five to seven years older since on average females die five to seven years older than their male counterpart.

In my diary I had noted answers to the questions I had earlier stated when looking for direction in my marriage.


“Decide now.Is your relationship better? Yes and no, it’s over, into a new one.Are you practicing Tantra? Well sort of yes, unfortunately not with your wife.Are you singing mantra? Yes.Are you happy? Sometimes.Does she love you? Obviously not with reference to Kali, in relation to Durga be careful and observe the lust period.Time is up.You need someone spiritual to grow together.”I had been blessed to have some friends Flash and Belly return

to the state for a couple of weeks and during this time they agreed to housesit for me while I was in Barbados for Rams wedding. I was due to leave for Barbados on New Year’s Eve and the whole trip would take one week while spending four days on the island. On the 31st of December Flash drove me to the airport and I departed. I flew from Hobart to Sydney, where I met my parents and then we proceeded to fly to Barbados via Los Angeles and New York. The company during the flight was excellent as I enjoyed the company of my parents. I didn’t take much notice of the transit times between flights but I did notice that mum did get a bit edgy in Los Angeles after fourteen hours without a cigarette. We continued flying and fifty hours after I had left Hobart my parents and I arrived at Barbados International Airport to be met by Ram and Sita.

Free accommodation had been organised for us by Sita and the whole Perring family were blessed to be holidaying in a house that was backing onto the Caribbean Sea. The house was typical island style and it was magnificent. It also included a flat to the right of the house between the house and the beach. There was a magnificent view from both the veranda of the house and the veranda of the flat overlooking the ocean and vast horizon. The flat was so close to the water that when I was upstairs at night and had the balcony door open with the inside light turned on the light shone through the doorway and touched the water over the beach. The first night Ram and I caught up and watched the ocean liners come and go. We had some local ales

175What On Earth Is Kundalini?and an enjoyable evening together. He never ceased to amaze me with his humour, etc. We returned to the house and slept in our rooms. Even though the house was typical island style it was comparable to a small mansion and the rooms that we each had were huge.

The following day I swam in the Caribbean Sea for the first time in my life and it was a great experience. The water was beautiful; the sand was magic to look at and the local people looked blessed in their natural environment. I had a natural tendency to want to talk to the locals rather than hang out with too many other people because for some reason I found them more interesting and on the level. The economic culture seemed similar to that of Nepal and Greece where there were two types of economies running side by side. One for the locals and one for the tourists. The class situation on the island also reflected this. My parents and I drove to the north of the island, the drive was a good experience as we were able to take in many of the local sights.

We returned home and I thought about how blessed I had been for the experience with my parents. I had also spent time with them in England in 1997 so Barbados was also a treat. On Friday night I went to the local nightclub called Harbour Lights. It was $35 Barbados to get in and the price included all you could drink. It was a huge club and very similar to some that I had already been to but unique in its style as it backed onto the ocean and beach. The locals were involved in an amazing dance, which included very swift pelvic movements rubbing crutches against buttocks. To my amazement I was informed that it was traditional and termed whining. I stayed up reasonably late but managed to minimise my alcohol consumption. I spent some time with Sita’s brother and some of his friend and quite enjoyed the experience. Sitas friends and family were most hospitable to me since I was the best man in the wedding and also the bridegroom’s brother. I was spoilt throughout my whole stay and am very thankful.

The wedding day was a weird day, in the morning Ram and I went and posted signs pointing to the location of the wedding for the guests driving there in the afternoon. We returned home and after some time put the wedding suits on in preparation for Ram’s


wedding. The location was outdoors and it was a magnificent estate. The house was huge and it was situated on the top of a cliff with the view to the west looking over several farms onto the ocean and overlooking the beautiful horizon. Many guests arrived; I met many people and hopefully interacted reasonably well. The cameraman and minister were both very humorous and performed their roles exceptionally.

Sita looked magnificent as did her bridesmaids and a most beautiful purple colour was chosen for their dresses. Sita is extremely sweet by nature and a very genuine person which showed in both the expression of the wedding and the whole occasion ran smoothly. The entire ceremony was beautiful and seemed extremely genuine and heartfelt and upon conclusion several beautiful photos were taken with the sun setting over the western horizon. I consumed a fair bit of alcohol throughout the wedding reception but was finding it one of the best ways to interact. My parents seemed to enjoy themselves, at times looking like the cowboys that had been ambushed by Indians as I appreciated them to be in a weird place, which could be referred to as native territory for the rest of the guests.

One of the people that I was lucky enough to talk to at the wedding was a producer and very spiritually inclined man. He appeared very open minded and we talked about philosophy, which was great. We talked about Kundalini and he was very knowledgeable in many ways but not specifically on the topic. He was certainly knowledgeable about the spirit and subtle perception as well as changes in awareness. I asked him if one day he would consider discussing the possibility of creating a film relating to the topic of spontaneous Kundalini awakenings, to which he agreed. I later sent him an e-mail, which included a copy of the personal experiences that had been documented in my life preceding and following my Kundalini awakening on the 12th of July 1998.

The wedding celebrations concluded and I agreed to meet up with some of the guests at a different nightclub. I went to the nightclub and enjoyed the company of the people I had recently met. I returned home to get some sleep before soon departing on an early flight to return to Australia. Apart from the wedding day I

177What On Earth Is Kundalini?had chosen to smoke a moderate amount of the local bajan Ganja. I was amazed at how it seemed similar in texture and quality to that of the Indian variety. Just as in India, in Barbados I had to resort to behaving according to my mum’s theory, “Necessity is the mother of all invention” to be able to create a drug smoking implement. Unfortunately while smoking Ganja on a regular basis or perhaps partaking in any addictive behavioural pattern one is not always aware of the affect on other people. One’s own behaviour is often interpreted as disrespectful, which brings into question non-acceptance on the observers part but there must be a fine line there to tread between concern, compassion or condemnation.

After sleeping very well I was woken to an early start by dad. I was shocked and dazed upon awakening but thankful, as I would never have woken myself up. Everything had been packed previously and we soon departed. Farewells had already been said to most people and now I was off after farewelling my dad and mum who had come to the airport for the journey. I got my ticket, passed through customs and entered the boarding lounge, mum and dad departed and I was content in the thought that I would soon see my dad again in March as he had agreed to visit Tasmania for three weeks to help me paint the inside of my house. As for mum I did not know when I would see her again but looked forward to the opportunity. While in the waiting lounge I bought some bottled water as I was feeling in need of rehydration. We were called to board the plane and I proceeded to exit the airport to walk along the walkway and onto the tarmac. At the end of the walkway I was feeling a bit seedy and had to throw up into the nearest rubbish bin but luckily it was only water mixed with a little bit of gastric fluid. I felt immediately better and boarded the plane for the arduous forty to fifty hour journey.

On the return flights home I met some very interesting people and was blessed to interact in ways that were specifically related to spiritual matters or those relating to consciousness and self-development. I grew a deeper appreciation that some children are born into families to actually assist their parents on the spiritual journey throughout life. I also grew a deeper understanding and appreciation that many adults carry with them both repressions and


some form of imbalanced behavioural expression that is relative to their childhood or upbringing.

I flew from Sydney to Hobart with a funny man sitting beside me. Upon arrival in Hobart I was blessed to be picked up by Flash. We returned home and soon afterwards he departed.

Kali had dog sat Astro for the period I was away and I was extremely thankful. The next day while I was walking Astro I laughed when I was returning to my house because when I turned the corner into my street, sitting in the doorway of my neighbours house was the neighbour and the funny man from the Sydney flight. He said some funny remark like, “Hey you, get back to Barbados.” I laughed and shook my head and walked off. I did talk to him about how during the holiday I had spent what seemed like equal portions of time both travelling to and from Barbados when compared to the time on the island itself. In retrospect and using my twenty-twenty hindsight I see now that since I don’t have a wife it may have been a bit wiser to make the Barbados holiday a bit longer than four days and nights. I guess you win some and you lose some, but hopefully you win more than you lose. Overall it was a great experience and I added it to a list of places that I had travelled to and experienced during this lifetime.

January 2003 came and went and I was living in my new house alone smoking Ganja on a daily basis. After the joy of Ram’s wedding and my own separation I was in a serious state of loneliness. Even though I was in a relationship with the beautiful earthy lady, Durga. I was having at least two sick days per week but I noted at least I was going fifty percent of the time. The major fluctuations in emotions continued and I really didn’t know what to do or where to go. I pondered it for some time and decided the best option would be to attempt to fulfil my role as a yoga teacher in Tasmania. I figured that through the channel of yoga I could talk about Kundalini and also appreciate my own situation being along the lines of the Jnana yoga path.

I had a great weekend with Durga and appreciated her ability to relax when in a natural environment. I grew to appreciate her expressiveness as she went off at me about being selfish and I realised

179What On Earth Is Kundalini?at that point in time I was concerned for my own wellbeing and told her. I realised we connected in a rare and subtle way but questioned and appreciated whether a relationship could be built around that. I didn’t know if I was up for such depth so soon after my marriage separation and taking into account the recent emotional fluctuations. I continued the relationship for the experienced and unique emotional support that Durga was able to provide at the time.

In the year 2003 the radio station was able to provide me with a timeslot of 10pm until 11pm on a Thursday night so I took it with open arms. It was a lot better in comparison to the fortnightly timeslot of midnight to 2am. I also changed the title from Consciousness Conversation to Why Yoga? Why Yoga being short for “why will yoga be the discipline that saves humanity from self-extinction?” I felt that this was an appropriate title because of my appreciation of the current yogic phenomena that is happening on both a global and universal scale. I had been blessed to have some cds given to me from Bob, at work, who plays some fantastic music. I had his song “Lonely Planet” as my theme song since my radio programme had begun. I felt it would be neat if he would perform live one night so I organised it. Early January he did come in on a Thursday night but being as humble as he is he didn’t tell anyone about it so I was blessed with the rare opportunity as was any of the listeners. He didn’t play lonely planet as he chose another good song called, “Funny Old Game.”

During the week, following his live performance, I was thinking to myself, “It would be good if I could get a theme song happening about Kundalini.” I thought to myself, “What could it be called?” The answer came to me, “Kundalini Rising.” I then thought to myself, “Perhaps I could make up some words and Bob could put some music to them.” And left it at that. Perhaps a couple of days later I thought about it once again but only briefly and did not actually put anything together.

A few days later my close friend Ji who had helped me with the Kundalini.com.au web site was telling me about how he had been playing many gigs recently and how this had been a step up from busking, which he had been used to. He said that he had been writing songs for a long time and recently he had written one about


Kundalini. He said, “Do you want to hear it? It’s called Kundalini Rising.” I was jumping around punching my fists in the air singing, “Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!” I don’t know how to explain things like this but they make me happy. Ji told me how he had recently met a man with a recording studio and has set about the task of recording some music in a professional set-up. Ji is a deep person and a wise man at the age of nineteen and I am thankful to be in his company. He has a heart of gold and is an extremely expressive artist. I was thankful to soon receive a copy of Kundalini Rising.

Durga was supporting me as I was consciously dealing with sadness and grief relating to the fact that I was no longer married. I was thinking about marijuana and she noticed that when I would be off it I would be inclined to talk more about Kali. I knew that to survive I must control or stop my marijuana habit at least for the time being. This would enable me to deal with my grief a little easier. Ironically I wanted to live in the light and love of Shiva but knew that one of the forms of worship of Shiva is smoking Ganja. I was weighing up whether it was devotional worship or addiction or perhaps repressed samskaras from previous lives where I may have been a shaivite. I was trying to be more conscious and aware in the third dimension and relate while not under the influence of perception inhibiting marijuana. I did find it difficult as I was inclined to be oversensitive to the energies around me when in a straight and clear frame of mind.

Durga took me to the house where she stayed when in town. I was introduced to the couple who lived there and two young ladies who were also visiting. I was amazed when the ladies told us they were going to the waterhole for a swim and Durga said she might join them. They discussed swimming costumes and said that they would probably just go naked. They asked me if I would like to join them, I was intimidated and said no. I later shook my head in amazement. Soon after this conversation one of the girls was trying to balance on one of those “fit balls”. The ball was placed on firm floor boards. Unfortunately while trying to balance on the ball it moved swiftly from beneath her to leave her resting momentarily in space at what seemed perhaps four feet from the floor. Time stood still as she fell through the air only to land flat on the boards. At the point of impact I appreciated that her body appeared to be compressed. She was

181What On Earth Is Kundalini?slowly and properly attended to, though what seemed like in a bizarre way. Her recovery was gradual and when almost complete she left with the other young lady. We then had dinner. The company was great in a fun and enjoyable way, while the meal was beautiful and tasty. I later appreciated that the environment was filled with right-sided brain people that were very creative and expressive in very unique ways. It was very powerful and there was often a struggle for expression of identities.

Even though I was putting Durga through some very serious emotional trauma she was very supporting and on my birthday spoilt me by buying me a special present. I had a very enjoyable weekend and I was trying to get into the experience of being. ‘Being’ in the sense of relaxing and staying still to counteract the excessive movement (vatta and rajasic) tendencies that I was prone to. I also noted that I am “consciousness being” through my interaction with Durga and my deeper appreciation of the concepts relating to the vajra nadi. I fully appreciated that the vajra nadi was the channel within the human vehicle responsible for both sexual expression and mystical experience. I also understand that this is the main channel that the intelligence that initially interacted through my DNA that formed at the time of conception and ultimately went on to build the foetus and now the human vehicle and identity that interact in the world as Michael Perring, and it is still interacting at this very moment. She was a wise person and I was blessed with her company. I was trying to be more settled in the relationship but I was finding it difficult. I found cycles starting to repeat themselves when comparing this relationship to previous ones and unfortunately every time I felt comfortable something would happen to push me out of my comfort zone. It was an amazing experience overall.

I had recently read the compilation of Gopi Krishna sayings that was edited by Gene Kieffer. I also interacted with Gene on the Internet to congratulate him on his good work. Previous to this, I emailed Gene, to ask him to assist me in understanding my condition and aspects relating to a Kundalini awakening. He replied by suggesting that I read a minimum of five Gopi Krishna books and added that reading the books may help me. That was basically all of his advice. I shook my head in amazement as I looked at my bookshelf and there were six Gopi Krishna books as well as any other books I could get


about the subject of Kundalini. I had read everyone from front to back. A few months later I emailed Gene asking him for help as I was sabotaging my job after foolishly coming out of a marriage that I had acted unwisely in, all while letting marijuana be a detrimental influence in my life. I did not receive a reply to this email.

I was fortunate enough to have dinner with my friend Allan one evening at the local republic bar which is a great hotel in the north of Hobart with not one poker machine and absolutely fantastic music and meals. We had dinner and talked about a lot. During the conversation I understood that Allan was saying that he could see anger within me and he suggested that Michael has to deal with Michael. I added that there is intense grief and sadness to deal with as well. Durga had noticed some of these aspects as well. Allan suggested that I could only deal with those through pain. Allan also said in a round about sort of fashion that I appeared too theoretical. We talked about many other interesting things during the evening and then parted. Later that evening I was wondering about the point of being too theoretical. I stood back and I thought to myself, “Will I walk the talk because all I think about is Kundalini and during my everyday conversations I am so deep and intense that I don’t even know if I’d want to interact with me. I state the truth and point out the hypocrisies wherever possible. It seems to be an automatic thing. I live according to the law of oneness and try not to take from the self in any way shape or form apart from the necessary requirements of living. I am also addicted to marijuana but I don’t know whether this is a remnant of a genetic vibration, a current physiological addiction/dependancy, a form of escapism or worship to the lord Shiva. I try to see myself in other people by treating them the best I can with all due respect.”

I often wondered why there seemed to be what I perceived as many opponents to the expression of concepts relating to human consciousness and Kundalini. I figured in one perspective it is mainly through people trying to understand that they ask questions. I try to look at myself objectively and realise that I don’t push Kundalini onto anyone I simply talk about what is relevant in most people’s lives according to my understanding, which is intertwined intimately with the knowledge of Kundalini. I did realise that sometimes it is better to function according to their understanding rather than mine. I thought that work was going reasonably well however I did feel an underlying urge that was making

183What On Earth Is Kundalini?me edgy to chase my dreams. I realised I must be patient as the process of stabilising my energy will continue.

Durga had agreed to accompany me to the yoga ashram in May 2003 for the two week intensive, which was the start of the six-month yoga teacher training course at the Satyananda Yoga Ashram at Mangrove Mountain in New South Wales Australia. I thought this was excellent as it was similar to what I had always yearned for Kali to do. Unfortunately neither of the lovely ladies were meant to accompany me to the ashram.

Unfortunately through choice I had been working in the same area within the x-ray department since I had been employed. The conditions were sub-optimal and I had repeatedly informed the chief radiographer of them. He did not seem to specifically communicate with me in regard to the issues and around this time due to my innate impatience that often sabotages things, my outspokenness, the underlying urge to sabotage my job to chase my dreams and the Vairagya (non-attachment) that I had cultivated during my yoga sadhana I wrote the following letter to the three heads of my department, the CEO of the hospital and the Premier of the state.

I got the following reply from this letter.Dear Michael Perring

Thank you for your email of 21st November 2002 addressed to the Premier of Tasmania. The premier has requested me to respond to you on his behalf.

I am advised that you have met with the chief radiographer and business operations manager of medical imaging at the hospital and that all of the points raised in your email have been discussed.

I am further advised that some of the issues you raised have been addressed and that a commitment has been made to pursue some of the other issues raised.

It is my understanding that you had not raised these issues prior to sending the email. It is important for these issues to be dealt with within the management context of the department in which you work.

Thank you for bringing your concerns to the attention of the premier.

Yours Sincerely The Minister for Health


Then I replied to this letter in the following way.David Llewellyn MHAMinister for Health and Human servicesDear David,

I received your letter regarding my email to Jim Bacon regarding the shortcomings within the x-ray department at The Royal Hobart Hospital.

The information you received from management was inaccurate. The issues addressed in the letter have been brought to the attention of management many times and they had not been addressed with any urgency or clear communication regarding the specific areas of concern.

With replies like this from you, I am left to wonder why people in your position do not approach the source of such letters for the correct understanding of the concerns in the correct context. You and the CEO of the hospital have communicated with the business manager of our department.

Let me share some information about the business manager.He is not from a radiography background.He does not understand the way in which radiographers work.I find it inappropriate that these concerns are sorted by management

in these ways, as some of the ‘facts’ that you receive or interpret seemed to be fabricated.

I would prefer it if you didn’t patronise me with such letters of reply. As I understand it, you are supposed to be a representative for everyone. Not just the people in positions of so-called ‘status’.

Thank you for your timeMichael Perring

PS - I do not feel a need to be appreciative of the rectifications that have occurred because all that is occurring, is certain aspects of the workplace are being brought up to standard. The Royal Hobart Hospital is contractually required to provide me with a safe working environment and equipment that meet Australian if not international standards in order for me to provide the service as a diagnostic radiographer.

I telephoned the Minister for Health’s office to arrange an appointment to discuss the matter since it was clear to me that somehow during the transference of information something had

185What On Earth Is Kundalini?been corrupted so I needed to straighten the matter out. Needless to say the business manager and the director took the letters extremely personally and saw it not in the light of them not fulfilling their contractual obligations to provide a safe working environment but rather a personal attack for some unknown reason. I arranged to see the Minister for health at lunch time the following day. I had also organised to see the CEO sometime the following afternoon. It brings to mind the first meeting I had with my business manager following the initial letter. He looked at me and said to me, “Why do you do things like this Michael?” I replied, “For several reasons, because that room without the lead glass is the room where I have been working the most recently and I don’t see anyone else working in there as far as management goes. The relationship with work is supposed to be mutually beneficial and I am not being used at the expense of biological harmony so someone can make profit. I also like to create situations like this to see how my mind and body will cope in stressful situations.”

I realised prior to seeing the Minister for health that during my meeting with the business manager I had been ill prepared psychologically so as I approached the office I asked for help from the spiritual realm and the Lord Shiva. Upon entering the office I was confronted by a huge sign titled “The Honourable David Llewellyn.” I looked at the huge sign in comparison to the magnificently structured surroundings of the hallway and wondered firstly who pays for all of this and secondly who says that he is honourable. It wasn’t long until a man who was not the minister greeted me in the hallway. The man informed me that he was one of the minister’s advisors in situations like this and that he would be present throughout the interview.

Upon entering the office of the Minister of Health he immediately went on the attack and tried to intimidate me by implying that I was out of place saying that he was patronising me with such a reply. I immediately intimidated him back because by now I could understand and appreciate the dynamics of most interactions. He was not comfortable with this but after clarifying my responses and the points from the initial letter and putting them into context in a


way that the minister could understand and appreciate them fully he was fully appreciative of the situation and he agreed to investigate the situation. The main point being that as a respected professional I fulfil my contractual obligations and report dangers within the department wherever possible and report these to the chief radiographer who in turn informs the business manager, who then informs the director according to their understanding and what they feel needs to be prioritised. Then allocation of energy and funds relating to maintenance and patient needs is formulated according to what they see as appropriate. Unfortunately during the thirty months of employment I had only ever seen the director twice in the procedural room and the business manager no times. I had to scratch my head and wonder how these people would have much idea in the first place of my role within the department and secondly the required amount of maintenance or upkeep relative to the use of the equipment.

My interaction with the minister continued and it turned into a conversation about spirituality and mystical experience. I even informed David of my mystical experience and subsequent documentation of it, which has led on to continued research. We bonded on the level of understanding that not everyone agrees or believes in mystical experience but they certainly do happen. After what must have been a twenty minute interaction I left the office quite content that I had stated my case clearly and that in the future perhaps the point of reflection of my concerns will be more accurate. As I exited the office I smiled to myself and thought, “That man is honourable.” I was glad that I had taken the time and put in the effort to interact with the Minister of Health.

Within less then a month of this meeting I unwisely chose to partake in some action that would further distance me from the management within my department. I had noticed that my dog Astro had recently been limping. I thought that it may have something to do with hip dysplasia since it is common within the boxer breed of dog. I sought advice from my faithful vet and he confirmed my suspicions and informed me that an x-ray would conclude the clinical diagnosis. I asked him how much it would cost at his surgery and he informed me between $200 and $300 because it would involve a general anaesthetic. I figured that since I work in an x-ray

187What On Earth Is Kundalini?department I might as well utilise what little resources I have and x-ray him there for free.

Being the non-conformist that I am I chose to x-ray him during the early evening hours. I took him in via the back entrance of the emergency department along a five metre corridor, placed a cassette on the floor in the x-ray room and positioned the x-ray camera appropriately all while closing the door behind Astro. Unfortunately he was petrified. I had organised an accomplice for the exercise and she helped me as she saw that I was in need. I grabbed Astro and positioned him on the floor appropriately for a pelvis x-ray, as I held all thirty-two kilograms of him it took all of my sixty-three kilograms of strength while wearing a lead gown to position him and I only had one shot. Upon concluding the x-ray I escorted Astro from the hospital. Only a security guard saw us so I thought we were home free. The security guard spoke to a nurse about it and later on it led to disciplinary action. It was not his fault and I still suspect that my business manager, upon hearing what I had done kindly suggested that it be investigated under the breach of contract litigation act to which it could be a sackable offence.

Soon after hearing about my behaviour, my chief radiographer invited me into his office for a conversation regarding the matter. Initially he just sat there and shook his head at me then he questioned me by saying, “Michael, why do you do things like this?” I said, “Things like what?” He said, “Like x-raying your dog in the emergency department Michael.” I said, “Well, my dog needed an x-ray and I had the equipment so I thought I might as well get one.” He then said, “But we are a hospital Michael.” I said, “Yeah, my dog was sick.” He said, “Only humans come to this hospital Michael.” I said, “Ok, what do you want me to do about it now?” He said, “We’ll think about it.” I later handed him the following letter.

25th February 2003To Management,

On the 20th of February 2003, at approximately 6.30pm this is what I did. I arrived at the Hospital with a radiographer friend (who had agreed to help me) and my 35kg Boxer Dog. My friend entered the


emergency department and checked that the x-ray room was vacant. My friend then opened the ambulance patients’ entrance. I entered with my boxer on a lead and walked past some offices into the x-ray room. A regular cassette was placed on the floor. I put a lead gown on and held my dog in the ventro-dorsal position for an ‘AP’ (anterior-posterior) projection of his pelvis. He had been limping and the x-ray was to diagnose hip dysplasia or confirm no hip abnormality to confirm the limp may be caused by a cruciate ligament tear. Following the exposure I exited the hospital immediately. I returned to the room to thoroughly clean the cassette, floor, gown and other equipment. The radiograph (image) acquired was of good diagnostic quality. The exposure factors were 60 kVp & 4 mAs (next time a bit darker would be recommended). The radiograph confirmed the left hip demonstrates signs of osteoarthritic changes with slight joint narrowing.

It was recommended that I include the following, which I did. I realise these actions have been a poor reflection of my individual

professionalism and subsequently a poor reflection on the medical imaging department. I assure you that such foolish actions will not occur again and I sincerely apologise for the poor reflection encountered.

Signed, Michael Perring.Upon handing him the letter I asked him if he could find out as

quickly as possible if the disciplinary breach was a sackable offence or if it was just a disciplinary meeting and the first of which I get three. Then I further explained that I did not want to be used for the time that I was investigated before being sacked because I would rather be sacked now and get it over and done with. He agreed to get back to me as soon as possible.

I also talked to him about how he could see the urge within me manifesting to self-destruct my job at the hospital. He said, “It’s strange because it seems like you don’t value your job.” I said, “It’s not that I don’t value it, I really appreciate that there are some very honourable people working here, unfortunately I do not feel attached to the job in the way that I see it as a form of something that makes up my identity and because of that unfortunate connection there is no dependency on my part with the job. I am one of the best radiographers in the hospital and in a place like Hobart management should be bending

189What On Earth Is Kundalini?over backwards to keep people like me, even if I do x-ray dogs.” I also added, “This is supposed to be a teaching hospital so the people that teach the students are supposed to be recognised while being reassured by management that maintain the working environment. I do however see the urge that is becoming more and more conscious to sacrifice this job for a life of yoga.” He later informed me that he enjoyed watching whatever it was happen. I realised that I could not bring myself to care too much for my job.

I entered the lunchroom and after toasting my sandwiches I reached for the sauce bottle that was in the fridge and as I did I thought to myself, “I should tighten the lid or at least check it just in case it is loose.” And then my mind jumped in there and said, “No, it should be ok.” As I immediately shook the bottle and the lid flew off. The sauce came out and landed on the wall, the bench, the sandwich toaster and everywhere else it wasn’t supposed to be. It was all I needed. As I was almost finished wiping the sauce from all the surfaces Robbo comes up to me and pats me on the back saying, “Good on ya.” I reacted extremely harshly to his sarcasm but unfortunately he saw it as humour and I saw it as belittling me to make himself feel better. I later apologised to which Robbo forgave me.

I worked with a Kiwi guy and it was funny because we talked deep and meaningfully about lots of things while we worked together. We talked about life, oneness, humanity, sarcasm, true humour and many other things. He still owes me $20.

I also encountered the wrath of a work colleague because I had gone to do a mobile x-ray on a baby but the baby was feeding and the nurse told me to return in half an hour, so when my colleague came back from a break and saw that the x-ray on the baby had still not been done she went off at me before I could explain that it was feeding. I then told her that I wasn’t going to help her with the next mobile and she could shove it. I later apologised. I was lucky enough during this bizarre day to receive a most excellent massage after work.

I noted in my diary that thoughts manifest immediately when in samadhi. I also thought that life is one moment at any time. What Swami Vivekananda would call the continual present moment. I tried to appreciate the hierarchy at work as being my teachers and realised


that I must be patient. I was wondering which way would be the best way to act for the most beneficial outcome?

The next note read, “To practice one technique until one experiences self-realisation, then reintegrate it into one’s being.”

Perhaps the evolution of the human species is currently going into the fourth chakra, that’s why there are so many “healers” on the planet at the present time. Perhaps self-realisation is not necessary for everyone at this point in time just the awareness that the apparatus is there will be enough. The next step for humanity perhaps is to realise that all humans are connected. Perhaps this is why the wars are necessary during this time of total self-separateness and abandonment from the underlying reality and ultimate life force and recognition to live according to the innate physical properties of it. Upon realising and living according to the interconnectedness of the human race the development will lead on to humans ultimately appreciating the interconnectedness of all being and life.

All of these intuitive thoughts came to me during the period of renovating my house where I had been continually peeling wallpaper. My life consisted of nothing much more than eating, working, smoking marijuana and scraping wallpaper from the walls. I was amazed that at a certain state of focus how information relating to one subject would be poured into the mind at a phenomenal rate. Just like any form of meditation that focuses the mind on one object to the exclusion of all others so that the mind does not fluctuate from the stimuli coming in through the senses, removing wallpaper was one form. I had hoped that all of the wallpaper would be removed by the time my father arrived. After many gruelling hours and at least two months after starting the project I finished the night before my father arrived.

Durga and I were cruising along in our relationship, which thankfully was not too full on due to her work. She took me to an entertainment venue in Hobart that had been operating for at least four years and specifically designed for the alternate crowd. Unfortunately this venue, similar to the yoga centre, was not something I was exposed to previously while living in Hobart. The venue was called Rektango and I thought it was great. I was realising more and more how beautiful Durga was but unfortunately my past was too close to me and this introduced fear.

191What On Earth Is Kundalini?My father had arrived in Tasmania for three weeks as I had

convinced (scammed) him into coming down to help me as I was in much need of company and physical help. After inspecting the house and its condition my dad commented on the size, the price, condition and informed me that he would not be able to immediately start painting because after removing the wallpaper many cracks and holes had been exposed. Dad informed me that he would start by plastering and repairing all of the walls before painting.

I had asked the lady at work, whose husband was a painter by trade if he could help me one day. I asked her if he could perhaps drop by my house one day while I was home and look at each of the walls and estimate how much paint I would require for the job. I thought this would be more accurate as he is knowledgeable and experienced. She returned and told me that he did not have time to help me but if I wanted to I could visit the paint shop. She told me to visit the shop (that was less than three kilometres from my house) and speak to the manager who had spoken to the ladies husband and agreed to give me all the appropriate advice while allowing me to use the husband’s trade account for a significant discount in price. After measuring the sizes of all thirteen rooms and hallways, etc in my house I chose the colours of the rainbow to paint it. I could not bring myself to paint any room red so I left it out.

During dad’s twenty-one day visit he had two days off of which he accompanied me to two of the local country shows and the rest he worked like an ox. I had organised my work days to maximise my days off during this period. I helped dad by cleaning the ceilings and walls after sanding them and then painting the cornices. Dad spent at least fourteen days filling holes and repairing cracks with plaster and on his last three days managed to paint all of the ceilings which was a huge effort. I had never seen dad work so hard.

I had organised to meet Bert for some music lessons, unfortunately he was late for the third time in as many weeks. Bert, being a very laid back person is not overly punctual and upon experiencing the lack of punctuality for a third time I realised that it is more than likely innate in his nature and forms part of his personality and I will not be able to change it. I was wondering why it would annoy me and realised


that it was because I couldn’t get what I wanted when I wanted it or at the time it had been organised. I realised that my frustration was stimulated by my impatience and that I should try and witness it.

Even though I was having a lot of positive experiences within my relationship with Durga I was intuitively receiving messages to end it as it was displaying similar signs and symptoms to previous relationships, which to me symbolised the repetition of karmic cycles. Many events had created a suitable opportunity where terminating the relationship would involve a minimal amount of emotional turmoil. Durga was a lovely lady but as I said to her the main reasons for ending it were I am not over with my marriage and I have to deal with loneliness, ironically I have to deal with loneliness alone. Ironically I am sure that Durga could have happily cherished me for the rest of her life as I was so much in need of but unfortunately this was not the time.

During our relationship, Durga and I interacted on many different levels. I was totally blessed to be involved with someone so wise and loving while being able to be introduced to some of the most beautiful people. I was lucky enough to meet Prashant whom I could talk to on the level relating to Kundalini awakenings, as he was a very realised being. Prashant had spent much of his earlier life in India and I was told about how he used to baby sit Swami Niranjanananda Saraswati in his early years. Both of them developed a close friendship and Prashant has very fond memories. I found it amazing that on an isolated part of the Tasmanian peninsula I would be blessed enough to be introduced to and interact with someone like Prashant who has a very deep connection to the past tradition of the current Satyananda Yoga Association.

After discontinuing my relationship with Durga on an intimate basis I was blessed to have the company of my father for a short time afterwards. I recognised that Kali and Durga represented opposite poles of the spectrum of females and I knew that my future relationships would be better formed with someone resonating in the middle of the spectrum rather than closer to one of the poles. My life was already a big enough mess but as always I had a huge sex drive and maybe this was something that was directly proportional to the mess in my life.

193What On Earth Is Kundalini?Through a work colleague I had been introduced to a young lady

who was twenty and studying psychology majoring in comparative religions. She had been brought up in a Christian tradition while growing up in small Tasmanian country town. Not only was she drop dead gorgeous but also extremely naive. The day after leaving Durga I was blessed with the company of this young angel who to me represented both perfection and the incarnation of the divine feminine. Just as I had seen my wife as the divine incarnation of Shakti and Durga as a manifestation of the mother earth I had gained an understanding and appreciation that all females were representations and manifestations of the underlying all pervading unconditionally loving mother energy.

While I was planning the next stage for my yoga career and confirmed the dates that I would be living at the Mangrove Mountain Ashram the governments of the United States of America and England were planning to continue their economically driven Christian crusades of the globe. Sadly I was thinking about the Christian crusades and wondering whether physical domination and violent repression is the act of white supremacy still continuing. On one hand I realised the invasion of Iraq that commenced on the 20th of March 2003 represented one of the saddest days for the human race and its entire existence. Intuitively I was extremely sad as I realised that a lot of the American motivation was based on economics. Sure Saddam Hussein and his regime were inhumane and needed removal, ironically sometimes I find it difficult to accept and appreciate which regime/lifestyle is most beneficial for growth towards self-realisation.

On the other hand I realised that even though through the media the war had been given a slightly religious slant that the Muslims were not specifically to blame and just as is evident in any religion that is dogmatic and the guidelines need to be rigidly adhered to there can quite easily be fanatics who have unfortunately misinterpreted the underlying principal of interconnectedness and while working on a lower level of consciousness feel a need to express their values and beliefs in a somewhat limited and contorted fashion. I knew that underlying everything is an innate law of evolution. It is this law


that all religious and spiritual disciplines are designed to live aligned with. All of the techniques available within any of the spiritual and religious traditions are ultimately designed to do the same thing, that being through specific techniques the human vehicle is influenced in specific ways so that the Kundalini is awakened and the experience of enlightenment occurs. The techniques allow a person to choose how rapidly they want to evolve. Following a discussion with Durga I realised that not every enlightened being is perfected. I appreciated that the term enlightenment represented the experience and direct knowing that occurs when ones understanding of life is altered by a direct experience of the self which is universal in nature. Enlightenment being the point of realisation of the interconnectedness of everything. Perfection I realised was the end result of much hard work through discipline and regular practice where ones life is lived according to the law of evolution every second of ones existence.

I had two songs in my head that appeared to be there for no specific reason and they were titled:

“Together We Will Live In Perfect Harmony.”“Get It Right Back To Where We Started From.” I was wondering if I would be again blessed with the possibility of

building a positive and beautiful future or whether this was a fantasy vibration that was unrealistic by nature. I was wondering whether me leaving Durga while being influenced by the twenty year old represented a similarity to my wife’s karmic cycle being tempted by perfection that does not exist, ultimately having to face a more realistic reality. Maybe it was temptation in the form of what one would call the devil but perhaps it was a manifestation of the fantasy vritti that had become apparent in my life in order for me to deal with it. Is there a connection between the detrimental impressions that infiltrate the mind and the negative impression that people hold relative to the devil? Never the less I had had a great learning experience with Durga and I was fully blessed to interact with such a beautiful down to earth lady. Her spiritual wisdom was at times comforting and totally reassuring while sometimes being overwhelming.

Soon after my father departed to his home for a much-needed rest I was once again struggling to maintain my regular lifestyle,

195What On Earth Is Kundalini?which involved four days employment per week. I had two more days off due to an inability to psychologically cope. During my days off I realised and decided that it would be more appropriate and stable in my life if I could work two days per week and focus on yoga while learning to be a teacher and prioritising some time towards writing my third book. It was a similar situation I had been in when I was married and working full time. I had ignored the intuitive feeling that what I was passionate about in life was suffering due to a need to fulfil obligations structured around cultural expectations. It was like tensions were being created while not giving too much priority towards happiness and balance but rather overemphasising the need for financial security and a material existence.

I approached the chief radiographer to investigate possible solutions for my dilemma. I was hoping since Hobart is isolated and Tasmania itself has a decreasing population that the management within my department would face reality and realised that employing someone who aims to be long term within the state would be more beneficial than employing temporary staff on casual contracts. Realistically due to my efforts to sabotage my employment opportunities I could not see any favours coming my way. I knew that both management and I were pushing and pulling in different directions and I intuitively felt that my employment within the hospital had reached its threshold. This being the point in time when you know you have worked somewhere long enough and there is no further room for growth or development and stagnation soon occurs. There are many people that do not recognise this threshold once it occurs and continue with futility while trying to achieve fulfilment while looking in the wrong place.

For future reference I was trying to get some form of documentation about my condition and understanding of it. I notified my GP and he was interested, slightly sceptical but open-minded. I asked my business manager and chief radiographer if they could organise a psychological review to which I was informed that all psychological reviews must be done outside of the hospital. After obtaining a list of the local psychiatrists I called at least half of them and asked them if they had ever heard of the word Kundalini and awakenings experienced relating to the topic. All of them had not


heard about it so I was not really able to go anywhere for help. I had thought that if someone was able to appreciate what was going on then there could be a chance of stabilising my life with two days employment rather than four. I was left with no option but to call the mental health team within the community and ask for a meeting with the crisis analysis team.

I did not hold much faith in the ability of the modern mental health team, as I knew through direct experience that the energy was working unconsciously. To enable me to feel trustworthy with the psychological analysis team I thought that it might be appropriate if I asked the following two questions prior to the interview. The questions were, “Describe five things about yourself and do you believe in karma, fate or destiny?” This would allow me to get a better understanding of the individuals and their perspective on life. I was unable to ask the questions prior to the interview and concluded the interaction before ever really appreciating the two people’s identification with themselves or understanding of interconnectedness with the law of cause and affect. The interaction confirmed my suspicions relating to many individuals that often present themselves within the healing profession. I confirmed that the two individuals that were present during my psychological analysis were not self-realised, had an understanding that was formed through the functioning of the superficial mind or while functioning from a limited perspective while being influenced strongly by the kleshas and vrittis.

A transcript of the interaction is documented in the introduction of this book. Similarly it is documented here.

The other day I got psychiatrically analysed. One evening, I invited two ‘psyche’ nurses to my house because I felt a need to try and get someone to understand the situation that I was personally experiencing. They arrived and there was a big male with a strong presence, and a peaceful feeling female. I had organised the interview during that day through the Community Mental Health Department and their ‘crises analysis outreach team’. I did not know they were psychiatric nurses prior to the interview: I was to learn they were not doctors and unfortunately only nurses after they had been seated in my lounge room for almost five minutes. My house was in the middle of its internal paint job so it looked as it would. I sat comfortably in one chair, the lady sat to my

197What On Earth Is Kundalini?right with a note pad. She was seated well in her seat and the gentleman was to her right and was seated on the edge of his seat. I started off by telling them that I had an experience in 1998 that made me go from the understanding that my intelligence and the life force that drives it was encapsulated within my body to an understanding that there are more subtle aspects of me that constantly interact with an intelligence that is all pervading and infinite by nature. This experience is well documented throughout history in many of the religious, mythological, spiritual and sacred texts known to man.

They said, “Why did you call us and how do you think we can help?” I said that the experience was making it difficult for me to function harmoniously within my work environment and I felt it appropriate that they may be able to write a letter justifying that I could only work two days per week. They said, “Tell us more about the experience.” He asked, “Was it a one-off occurrence or did it happen more than once?” I said that I had experienced strange things for at least six months prior to the climax of the experience that occurred at approximately 8.25 a.m. on the 12th July 1998. The climax went like this, I said and I looked at my stomach, lifted out my shirt and moved my fist inside my shirt to represent the way that my skin on my abdominal region moved at the time. They said, “What happened prior to the experience?” and I said, “Well realistically a lot of the things that I had placed emphasis on for happiness outside of myself (as in certain expectations about friends, partners, employers and status) were turned upside down. Somehow I then started to question life more intensely and realised that perhaps everything that I hear and see consciously I was meant to. Also, at times I was in the vicinity of someone who would say exactly what I was thinking word for word within a short time of me thinking it. But to this day I do not know whether they were saying what I was thinking or whether I was thinking what they were going to say, probably the latter. So, one thing led to another and I ended up in a church to experience a physical movement in the form of a circular motion inside my abdominal region, while I sat in a blissfully ecstatic state and confirmed that there is an intelligence far greater than the human mind functioning throughout the universe. At this point in time this intelligence knows what I am thinking and it is in the corner over there just as much as it is passing


through everyone here. It has been scientifically proven that the atomic mass of the atom is less than one percent of the atom itself. So, realistically if humans are made up of zillions of atoms then the physical body must only be a representation of one percent that makes up me.

“Following the climax, I experienced at least five days of bliss.” He said, “So you say that the things that you place happiness on around you fell down, can you explain that?” I said, “Yes, I split up with a girlfriend, I was smoking pot, I went for a job promotion and did not get it, my friends unknowingly weren’t there to support me and I lost all faith in status.” He said, “Well could you equate the experience to a nervous breakdown or a breakdown of some type?” I said, “I experienced nothing but bliss.” He said, “Following the experience when did you come down?” I said, “I have not had the downer yet, it’s not going to come.” He said, “Well it’s the marijuana, that’s why you are anti social you don’t eat or sleep properly, you do know the biological effects of marijuana don’t you Michael?” I said, “Hang about, I can interact well within any given situation, I do eat properly and I do sleep properly whether I smoke marijuana or not.” He said, “There’s at least ten people in the psychiatric department that explain exactly the same thing as you are Michael.” I said, “Yes, but how many of those people have researched it back to the source? This experience is well documented throughout many of the sacred texts in ancient India as well as all of the religious texts. It is the biological basis for all mystical experience, while at the same time being a very important part in the evolutionary process of the human being.” He said, “Well I’ve got cases that document the biological effects of marijuana, have you got documentation to prove this?” I said, “If you want to come in here I have about twenty books on that shelf, but I’ve got four boxes in there if you want to check them out too.” He said, “No.” And did not budge from his seat. They said, “Well we don’t think we can help you then Michael. What is it if anything that you want us to do?” I said, “Well you’ve got to look at it this way, you guys prescribe Valium to the psychotic so they don’t experience fear and paranoia, that’s at one end of the spectrum because of my experience there is an energy working within me to express the other end of the spectrum so I use marijuana to inhibit a constant blissfully ecstatic state so I can function within this culture.” He said, “Yes but don’t you want to be blissful Michael.” I said,

199What On Earth Is Kundalini?“Of course I want to be blissful, you just can’t be in an environment that is not conducive to the flow and understanding of the law of creation. I understand that the current medical science even though it is trying its best and does a lot of good in many cases is a form of treating illness and the whole structure within the profession is hierarchically oriented. You just have to face facts to see that it is not the harmonious environment that consciously cultivates holistic well being.”

They said, “Well the best that we can offer you if you want us to do anything for you to help you get the two days off, you’ll have to come in for treatment and get analysed and if they find that you do have a condition stopping you from working then they will give you a certificate of mental illness and give you the appropriate treatment.” I said, “I am not taking mind numbing drugs so I can work most of my life within an inharmonious environment based on economics so I can pay off a house for the rest of my life that I will probably never own.” They said, “We call them sedatives.” I said, “I understand how modern psychology works. Basically in the 1900’s the psychologists looked at the human being and said there’s the body and the mind but the mind is unmanifest let’s watch how people interact socially within any given environment then we will be able to rationalise the behavioural patterns based on certain events. So you guys from your understanding and study of this want to label me according to certain behavioural patterns. I can tell you now that the psychologists were limited in their perception as far as I understand it. They were very intelligent people but as far as I understand it there are five levels of manifestation one being the physical, two being the energetic (the manifest vibrations), three being the mind (the first unmanifest realm and the conscious mind), four being the intuitive plain (more subtle and the unconscious mind), five being the blissful plain. The psychologists as far as I understand them were functioning primarily with the conscious mind while analysing the physical dimension of being. The experience that I make reference to in 1998 is documented by certain people in India that have enhanced their perception through self-discipline and regular practice to the level where the more subtle realms of existence are perceivable. They have stated how the experience occurs on a subtle dimension, which can’t really be described physically but it correlates on a physical level to a


nerve that is directly connected between our sex organs and brain. Freud was right when he said that culture was driven by libido because at one end in the western culture the same channel that is responsible for both mystical experience and sexual expression is being expressed physically through sexual exploitation as there is a minimal conscious cultivation of mystical experience due to a lack of understanding that there is an intelligence guiding the law of creation / nature. This is why in certain other cultures that have a high devotional aspect within their culture have minimal sexual exploitation. Don’t get me wrong I strongly believe there is a need for a balance between sexual expression and mystical experience but an imbalance either way is inharmonious.” They said, “We can’t help you, Good Luck.” We shook hands and they left.

In early April my Yogic Studies II course was coming to a close. I had been studying a little bit leading up to the exams but I mainly accumulated knowledge by handing in the weekly assessment tasks on time. Prior to the exams the weekly tasks were to be reviewed because the content was relative to the exams. I was blessed to have Agnimitra as a study buddy. Being extremely introverted, once Agnimitra and myself got to know each other I could tell that she was more comfortable with my presence. We covered all of the topics reasonably well and during our time together I connected to and appreciated many aspects of Agnimitra. My marijuana dilemma was still present and prior to the exams I was trying to eliminate it from my life temporarily to clear my mind as I felt direct intuitive guidance was better received and interpreted when the human vehicle is vibrating at a higher rate rather than a lower one. Despite all my best wishes I was still prone to smoking pot the night before the exams.

The first day of the exams was the 5th of April and the first of the exams went reasonably well. The Hobart Yoga Centre had also experienced dramatic changes within the management around this time and this day also symbolised the day of transition from one stage for the centre to another. To symbolise the transformation for the centre and its direction into the future as well as the cessation of the former director’s input into the running of the centre a fire puja was organised. A local Hobart lady who was Indian by nature had her mother visiting. Her mother was trained in the arts of the ancient Vedic rituals and known as a priestess. She was trained in the

201What On Earth Is Kundalini?purificatory techniques and practices that had been part of the Indian culture for thousands of years. The ceremony was to be orchestrated in the main sadhana room of the Hobart centre. The items were specific and the directions were followed precisely as the ceremony involved the fire, fruit, flowers, Vedic hymns, cotton thread and many other ritualistic items that all held specific functions relative to the vibrations represented within them as innate properties and also the symbolic representation of a similar vibration from a subtle realm.

Overall the ceremony took the best part of an hour and upon completion a truckload of food was brought out for the Priestess. She was only a little Priestess but surely presented as a divinely beautiful old Indian lady. I myself had not really eaten too much during the day due to how much marijuana I had been smoking, a general lack of appetite and an unconscious desire to fast. I looked at the copious amounts of food and recognised that the Priestess had started eating very small quantities and then I asked the organisers if I could have a piece of naan bread. Most people were shocked at my request and informed me that the food was for the Priestess as she had been fasting all day. I said, “Yeah! No problem, I’ve been fasting most of the day too but I understand where you are coming from.” The Priestess asked for the English to be translated into Indian while at the same time I said something funny about the amount of food presented, all for one lady. The Priestess giggled and told me to eat as much as I liked. I was of the understanding these days that the life force penetrates everything in the universe and even though rituals and forms of worship have been formulated due to people’s value and belief structure and their rigid adherence to them with reference to religious and mystical experiences and that such practices are beneficial and necessary for many people, but realistically it is possible to live with an inner connection to Goddess and the oneness of life while expressing it harmoniously in a balanced existence without performing any rituals or forms of worship. The fire puja was concluded and deities such as Lakshmi and Ganesha were worshiped in the hope of removing obstacles (Ganesha) and providing prosperity (Lakshmi).

The following day involved a general yoga meeting at the yoga centre. The teachers and advanced students were present to discuss the


direction, strengths, weaknesses, ambitions and needs of the centre. I attended the meeting and sat pleasantly during the day with about ten females and one man. Many great points and contributions were made and the ongoing benefit to the centre and its growth was evident. I did realise and appreciate a confirmation to an earlier suspicion. That being, that even though some people may have practices yoga for anything from five up to fifty even maybe a hundred years, the individual may not have actually achieved the goal of yoga. The philosophies and practices are great but I find there is a tendency for people to be influenced by their personality. Personality being formulated by such things as identification with the self, values and beliefs which are closely associated with the concepts of Vrittis and Kleshas while not totally being able to comes to terms with and deal with the Yamas and the Niyamas. This made me appreciate that healers and teachers may not always be able to teach you to achieve anything past their understanding. I came to the understanding that a teacher can only teach you to where they are at but I am not one hundred percent sure of this. I will continue to think about this one as it is a major point for consideration. After a successful weekend I continued to study in preparation for my yogic studies part two exams, which were scheduled for the following weekend.

Someone told me on April the 7th that it was Astro Boy’s birthday.

A young man at work was laughing about his tenth wedding anniversary in the near future. He informed me that he had not been with his wife for seven years and they never got divorced because of the children. I then remembered my second anniversary was coming up soon which was sad but I noted in my diary, “Hopefully it will be all over before the 3rd.” This interaction stimulated me into calling Kali and asking her when she was going to change her surname from the one that I had given her at the point of marriage and agreeing to be with each other for the rest of our lives. I said to her that I did not feel that she had the integrity to represent my name, which I realise now was extremely poor behaviour and extremely antagonistic on my part because even though we are not on the same wavelength Kali is one of the most beautiful women on the planet. Realistically I would be proud for her to represent my surname.

203What On Earth Is Kundalini?I had the most excellent study buddy in the form of Agnimitra. The

time we spent studying together increased as the exams approached. I must admit for two people of opposite genders and very different personalities it was graceful how Agnimitra and myself bonded and grew together through yoga and our common interests.

The exams came and went and due to the substantial preparation I was not overly concerned about the results irrespective of the fact that I was still smoking large amounts of marijuana. Upon completion of the final exam Agnimitra and I went for some cake and hot chocolate, which was enjoyable.

The 21st of April 2003 represented my second wedding anniversary. The feelings I noted at the time were mainly to do with sadness and loneliness. I noted that mentally I could understand the situation and tried not to be hurt by it. I had been working furiously inside my house to paint the walls. Every weekend, afternoon, rostered day off or sick day that I had I was setting about painting my house, each segment being painted one colour of the rainbow. I could not bring myself to paint a room red but I believe I chose well with the others. It was an extremely interesting situation for me to personally experience as I had never painted much at all and was extremely limited in experience. The house was huge and perseverance was the key. I was encouraged by the fact that upon completion the house would be lettable and Ji had agreed to let me rent a room in his house. I had met Bunker through a mutual friend and he expressed interest in being a tenant upon completion of the painting. I got to know Bunker on a personal level while keeping a little distance and grew to appreciate that he is kind hearted and means well. I thought he would be an ideal tenant.

I had determined that the 24th of April would be the day I would confirm whether the Royal Hobart Hospital was willing to employ me two days per week rather than four. As most people were well aware the management were ill prepared for direct communication about specific issues and this was once again confirmed on this day. I received no specific response to confirm or not confirm whether the job was available. The chief radiographer convinced me to wait until Monday, which I agreed to. I intuitively perceived that I would


be resigning soon as the unconscious urge to leave this institute had become so conscious that it had manifested physically into an irreparable situation, which was uncomfortable at times.

The Anzac day weekend came and went and I painted during most of it. I still managed to express my sexual energy in an imbalanced way. My behavioural patterns were apathetic to cultural conformity as this was aligned with my personality. I met up with some very interesting women during the time and I am grateful for every experience.

By Monday the 28th of April 2003 I had enrolled in the teacher-training programme at the Satyananda Ashram, which was to commence in May 2003. I booked the flights, which were confirmed and paid for. The lady who managed to get the discounted paint for me asked me for a favour. I agreed to work for her for four days in early June. It was the least I could do for the five hundred dollar discount.

Early on Monday morning I asked my boss if he had any confirmation about the job and he informed me that the business manager said there was no such opportunities. I felt saddened, as I knew my psychological imbalance had been created due to a lack of understanding and acknowledgement within the culture of Kundalini. This led to imbalanced behavioural patterns that ultimately ruined my marriage, which created emotional imbalances that were unfortunately expressed at work. I realised, even though the Royal Hobart Hospital is in an isolated position and staffing opportunities are limited, the amount of long-term employees within the department would only benefit through acknowledgement and recognition of individuals strengths and weaknesses.

I was saddened because even though in the media and through the parliament it is often seen as a work place going out of their way to assist anyone with limited capabilities, I find it ironic that such an event as a Kundalini awakening which subsequently accelerates the speed of ones evolutionary cycle by manifesting karmic repercussions, activating dormant areas within the nervous system and allowing infinite capabilities of the human vehicle to be experienced, are still not diagnosable and often are not heard of. Does this mean because the illness is non-manifest and beyond diagnosis within known medical fields and professions that the imbalances expressed

205What On Earth Is Kundalini?by people such as myself have no foundation. If the workplace was not able to understand my situation I felt that at least they might have time to sit down with me for a certain extended period to at least try and appreciate what was happening. Unfortunately this did not occur and like the case is so often these days, everyone was too busy. A similar pattern to that which had occurred during August 1998 was occurring.

I called several employment agencies and agreed to take a job on the south coast of New South Wales. It was a part time job for eight weeks and I had no definite plans following it. After agreeing to the locum position I informed my boss that I wanted to resign, to which he shook his head and asked me if I was sure. I said I did not know what I was doing but I am sure I do not want to work here anymore on a four day a week basis.

I handed in my resignation and at the same time felt it necessary to inform the new CEO of the events that I had experienced while working within the medical imaging department. I forwarded the following letter to him soon before my departure to New South Wales to attend the residential period of my Yoga teacher training course.

CEO, Royal Hobart HospitalHobart, TasmaniaDear Ted

This letter is aimed at asking you to provide me with advice on the necessary steps that have to be taken to get the Business Manager in the Medical Imaging Department of the hospital that you oversee assessed and accredited to certain standards to confirm that he is suitable for the job.

I understand Hobart and its surrounding suburbs has a stable and limited population and this does not allow for a big turnover, thus limiting the spending capacity. I know there is only so much money and this is mainly provided through the government. The budget is limited in each department according to figures and not reality.

Please keep in mind that the employees who work within the department are extremely decent people and give a lot of themselves to the job (however this is slowly changing) and they are to be commended for


their integrity at times. This letter is to address concerns that I have for these people that will result through poor business management in the future.

My main concern is that while being employed within the department during the past 32 months the focus has changed from commitment to the patient while working as a team, to one of separation and distance as morale has slowly declined. Many good, decent people (radiographers, service support officers, doctors and clerical staff) have come and gone during that period alone as they have had to experience the poor working environment. The main processor within the general x-ray department during the past 24 months has been broken/unusable more often than it has been reliable. Ask anyone that has worked in the area constantly for the past year or two. For a solution, against several processing engineers’ advice, the business manager has decided the cheapest option, where the components are switched to work in the opposite way to which they have been working since installation. Does one really think this will make an unreliable machine more reliable? Won’t the parts be worn after years to move a certain way through wear? The department, with three run down general processors is in need of a PACS system. The outlay initially is seen as expensive but within five years or so it is cost effective. The department floors are cracked near the nurses station, where incidences have occurred due to the wheels of drip stands (holding an imed infuser) get caught and become unstable while being wheeled next to ICU beds travelling to CT. Three out of the four x-ray rooms have tables that don’t lower in height which minimises accessibility and creates inefficient productivity. There are two radiographers rostered on the 15:00-23:00 shift. There needs to be a third, irrespective of allocatable funds as it is wearing people out. Whenever there is a CT or theatre case being performed, there is one radiographer to do the rest of the work. Granted, sometimes when there is not CT or theatre case on there may be little work at times. These periods between being required to work have decreased significantly during recent years. The department is meant to be staffed for optimal efficiency if and when it is too busy for two people. At present radiographers often work without a meal break as they are required. Often the younger radiographers are ‘lumped’ with the general shift and it is put down to experience. Sure radiography is a very transient profession, where people will always come and go but within this department I can honestly say that not a lot of

207What On Earth Is Kundalini?funds nor time is spent understanding the role of the people on the floor, appreciating their working conditions or consciously encouraging people to maintain mutually beneficial working relationship where they are respected as professionals.

I have addressed my concerns to the Chief Radiographer, who recommended I speak to the Director who was so busy he did not respond to my request for assistance. That is why you are being addressed about these issues. The afore mentioned issues are some of my concerns where the safety, care and well-being are being compromised due to lack of understanding. As my concerns (regarding the working environment) are transferred from the Chief to the Business Manager the issues are dealt with according to the Business Manager’s understanding and priorities. I feel that if funds are being allocated according to the understanding of the business manager, which in my perspective is limited then the overall focus of a hospital being there to provide health care to the patient is untrue. The reasons that the Business Manager’s understanding for the role of Business manager is limited are: he does not come from a clinical background involving patient care nor I have personally not seen nor heard of him accompanying any of the staff on the floor during their working day to understand and appreciate their roles. There are also other concerns that I am listing as I feel that I have personally witnessed and experienced inappropriate business management at the time.Several hazards and shortcomings that were repeatedly addressed with no response were fixed immediately following a letter to the previous CEO and the minister for health (via the premier)Approximately 3 months ago the Business Manager told an employee, Sean that there were two twelve month contracts coming up for the Attendant positions and Chad and Sean were going to have them. The Business Manager informed the Attendant Manager that Chad’s contract with the medical orderlies could be given to someone else as Medical Imaging realised how much integrity Chad has and he is one of the best workers allocated to such a position. Less than two weeks ago, on a Wednesday the Business Manager called Chad into his office to inform him that he was not required to come to work on Monday. Chad was emotionally distraught. On top of this, Chad learnt that he has been paid during his employment in Medical imaging as a


‘level four’, when he was in fact fulfilling the duties of a level five. When assessed according to the Business Manager’s priorities Chad has not been specifically informed about the back pay that is essentially forthcoming. Does anyone not realise we are playing with Chad’s livelihood, but some people fail to be conscious of the significance of such behaviour and inappropriate assurances.I have seen the Business Manager scruff an attendant’s shirt sleeve and say ‘In my office now’.Regarding me personally x-raying my dog and the total incident. He approached friends and colleagues surreptitiously to acquire information about it. Specifically saying ‘Don’t tell Michael I asked you for this’. Even after I had admitted and signed documentation stating the truth.There may be a subscription to ‘Premiere’ movie magazine to the department that gets delivered to the Business Manager, except when he is on leave. He has a phenomenal lap top computer which I can appreciate is an essential requirement, but surely not at the expense of patient accessibility, safety and care. On top of that we do not have a Deputy Chief Radiographer whom may be approached in Justin’s Absence.These are some of my concerns justifying why I feel a need to approach

you to assess the credibility of the Business Manager for the role that he is currently employed in. I recommend that the appraisal be from a source outside of the hospital and it includes opinions of staff at all levels within the department as well as assessment of fundamental management principles and guidelines and the adherence or lack there of to them.

I handed in my resignation on the 28th of April, for termination of my employment contract on the 6th of June. I attempted to modify my workload appropriately with other demands in my life since my marriage separation last September. The business management has been suboptimal to say the least, especially in their ability to specifically communicate feedback on many issues. I am one of the department’s most valued general radiographers, for both my knowledge and experience and the ability to communicate it to the students and newer staff members. I have decided that I may as well travel for a while and see if the atmosphere improves within the department in the forthcoming years.

209What On Earth Is Kundalini?I know the RHH has a lot of power to influence peoples lives as

it is the only major trauma centre and teaching hospital in the state I strongly believe that to stay accredited as a teaching hospital, the hospital needs to consciously encourage long term prospects to stay rather than discourage them.

I am on leave for two weeks from the 8th May until the 25th of May. I can be contacted via this email address if you would like to discuss my concerns further or keep me posted on the progress of the assessment.

To remain impartial during this process I recommend that The Deputy CEO is not involved as he is very good friends with the Business Manager. If you are a fair person and want the result to be an unbiased assessment (which is well over due) a number of third parties need to be involved.

I hope you can rectify this situation and appreciate the point of view of someone who works with the patients.Yours SincerelyMichael Perring

I was having some weird days, smoking lots of pot and not too concerned about it as I saw yoga and the up and coming course as something to pull me out once again of my dilemma. There was an urge to stop smoking marijuana and this urge was not ceasing. I had almost finished painting my house after what seemed like three to four months of non-stop work. I could see the end in sight and was only too happy about this. Perhaps the urge to stop smoking marijuana increased upon near completion of my house as essentially it may have well been necessary during the painting and removal of wallpaper since it not only put me into a mediative state but also allowed me to persevere and tolerate such a mundane job.

During the yoga weekend and meeting day I had organised to get onto the committee for the business plan, which was mainly responsible for ideas to do with the short term and long-term future of the Hobart Satyananda Yoga Centre. On the 1st of May I met the rest of the group and the meeting was held. It was constructive and even though my input was and still is minimal I figured since I was going to be responsible for a huge business one day (if I live long enough) any participation in business meetings can only be beneficial. I was


the only male in the group and I was getting used to being by myself on such occasions representing the masculine gender. Even though I am far from masculine in many respects I guarantee that deep down I do have a lot of “typical” male tendencies.

I had organised a couple of market appraisals for my house, which included ideas about rental. The appraisals were good and I realised the house prices were increasing disproportionately to the average and that even though I did not like possessions especially ones that create financial obligations I realised I would be better off holding on to the house simply as a form of equity. I had also organised for Bunker to move in while I was at the yoga ashram. He had agreed to house sit the property for an indefinite period.

I had to complete the painting and then pack my things into one room so the rest of the house could be used. I had so many belongings that I had to leave many things in various rooms for use by Bunker and his housemate. I completed ninety-five percent of the painting required and the house became a lot more pleasanter than it initially was. While packing the majority of my belongings into one room I also packed the requirements for both a semi-permanent living while working as a locum radiographer and the three-week full time lifestyle of the Mangrove Mountain Yoga Ashram. I completed all that was necessary by 1am and sat my head down on the pillow to sleep for four hours before waking at 5am to be picked up and driven to the airport by mad Dan for the 6am flight.

Once I arrived at the airport I sat and thought in amazement at how everything had fallen into place (whether I wanted it to or not) for me to further devote my life to yoga and Kundalini research.

The flight to Sydney was short and convenient. Soon after arriving I caught the shuttle bus to the ashram.

Upon arrival at the ashram I met up with some familiar faces, many who were residents and a few continuing students from the initial yogic studies one course. There were also the new people who had enrolled to learn how to be a yoga teacher under the Satyananda tradition.

The introduction was good and immediately a different form of presentation was appreciated as the environment felt different. I was happy to be in a good environment and realised that the foundation had been laid by previous visits for good friendships and deep

211What On Earth Is Kundalini?connections. I appreciated the excellent course structure and realised a lot of work had been put into it while realising that the group had been fully blessed to be able to participate in such education in Australia.

Over the first couple of days I discussed many things with Kriyatmananda and I appreciated the blessings of these interactions. I realised that he was the reassurance that kept me going at times. During our interaction he suggested that I go to India for the Sannyasin course that was being run by Paramahamsaji and Swamiji over a twelve-month period. He looked deep inside me when he told me about the course and I realised it would be the most blessed experience to be able to not only be in the presence of two perfected yogic masters but also be taught by them over an extended period of time.

After the interaction with Kriya I set upon immediately organising my journey to India for the course. I realise that it may involve selling my much-loved car and several belongings that were stored in Tasmania but that would be ok if it was required. After organising my trip to India I contemplated it for a couple of days to assess whether I was doing the right thing. I intuitively felt that avoiding my work obligations in Bega would be sub-optimal and the information I was receiving from India implied that not many people knew whether the course was on or not. After several days of considering whether I should go to India for a year or not I decided not to. I decided to fulfil my work obligations and continue with my teacher training courses until complete then I would go to India.

I always smiled internally when I reflected on my six-week holiday to India in 1999 that followed my Kundalini awakening which was experienced prior to me knowing anything about Kundalini. I could have visited some of the most blessed Kundalini research centres on the planet and acquired some of the most interesting literature. I know it was meant to be this way and I looked forward to returning to the mother India one day. After deciding not to do the Sannyasin course an e-mail was received from Swamiji that stated, “India is not giving greater than six month student visas due to the world situation.” People are encouraged to fulfil work obligations first, Sannyasin training is happening all the time anyway irrespective of whether a course has been accredited for it or not.


The days were filled with practices that made them go quickly but allowed the students to fully embody the techniques as they were accumulating the knowledge. During one meditation I envisaged the image on the front of this book or as close to it as possible.

In some respects I felt like a typical spiritual participant as I would be prone to wearing the colour orange and presenting with a shaved head and I hadn’t even been initiated into the tradition.

During this visit I grew to appreciate and deepened my relationship with the acharya of the Mangrove Mountain Ashram. Rishi Hridayananda Saraswati was often in the kitchen while I was on duty and we had quite a bit of fun. On several occasions we were both free to be ourselves, while working together and enjoying it.

Kriya was great to observe and never ceased to amaze me with his ability to appear realistically human before anything else. I asked him about some of my concerns relating to other people’s input from observation of my life and he confirmed my intuitive feelings about the situations while we had the following interactions. I tried to explain how I understand that I have determination and confidence but as I do not identify with the separate limited self and participate in sensual self-gratification at the expense of others I found it interesting that several times I was exposed to the comment, “That’s just the ego talking.” I then explained to Kriya that I understood the ego to never disappear or be overcome but merely expanded as a greater conscious awareness is experienced. Relating to the comment, “that’s just the ego talking”, Kriya told me to get used to those sorts of responses from people.

I also wanted to talk to him about the other line, “Be in your body.” I found this an interesting one because I knew that my body was a manifestation of a much more subtle pranic spectrum and that if anything was necessary for a healthy reflection of the body, a balanced subtle energy system was one of the essential components. Being true to my innate constitution, personality and own personal situation I am much more prone (at this point in my evolutionary cycle) to function primarily through the more subtle chakras so I find it difficult to relate to the more gross and physically evident substances. Kriya reassured me that he much like myself uses the

213What On Earth Is Kundalini?body primarily as a vehicle to enhance the consciousness and experience being.

I sat next to Kriya and some yogic studies I student’s for a meal and was amazed to appreciate the conversation mixed with Kriyas realistic approach to spirituality. He informed the group that the ashram provides the technology (the yoga practices) available to the human race that allows a much greater understanding of all aspects of life. It was stated that through a systematic approach the subtle physiology could be purified and enhanced while working in synchronicity with the psyche allowing an individual to develop a much broader and greater understanding of both their innate constitution, all dimensions of being and perhaps spiritual illumination (enlightenment). The goal is to awaken the Kundalini energy but this goal is not to be focussed on as it will happen in due course at the right time. He stated that Kundalini is never meant to be activated and awakened with insufficient preparation of both the physiological aspect and the psychological aspect of an individual.

One of the students asked, “What if the Kundalini energy is awakened prematurely?” to which Kriya replied, “An individuals karmic repercussions will be accelerated and manifested in an extreme way, there will be an inability to maintain a stable relationship with one single partner, an inability to maintain a full time job, while having the uncanny ability to state the truth and point out hypocrisy wherever it is experienced”. He stated that this will inevitably lead to a gross inability to function stably within the culture. I was not sure whether Kriya had stated these examples from his own personal observations and experiences or from spiritual text or from the conversations that we had had. No matter where the information came from it was spot on accurate when describing the major issues in my life that created the inability to function stably.

In the evening a fellow student and myself went for a walk in the moonlight. The three-hour experience was fascinating, as it had only seemed like one hour before we returned to the ashram and we were amazed to find out that we had been gone for three hours.

The following day was a rest day for the course so I accompanied two fellow students to the local cinema for the day. We watched a


hilarious movie and I was amazed that this movie as did many these days had a scene in a Buddhist retreat and made many references to spiritual concepts and the modern day crisis that faces humanity, which has resulted as a product of an imbalanced lifestyle. Following the movie I received a pen as a present from one of the fellow students. She had borrowed one of my pens during the course and bought me one to replace it. This pen had the name Michael written on it so she bought it. Upon receiving the present I read the name on it and the writing under the name. It read, “MICHAEL, An honourable person, who will make a great leader.” I thought the pen was a special gift but wanted to give it back after reading the intense message on it. My friend informed me that she did not read the message under it but agreed that it fell in line with many things.

I visited my grandmother and grandfather’s graves and acknowledged and asked for love to be with her as she was an example in my life of love.

The realistic approach of the Satyananda Yoga Tradition was compounded once again by Swamiji during one of his video satsangs. Swamiji emphasised that even though living conditions had changed throughout the centuries perhaps the minds of humans were still influenced in a very similar way. Perhaps three thousand years ago humans feared wild animals and these days perhaps they fear their homeland being invaded by greedy humans. The fear experienced is similar in both cases, the difference being the stimuli that creates the fear. This is one of the reasons why yoga can be adapted to anyone and their individual needs.

I love the way Swamiji said that his goal in life is to struggle to help people and he also said that when he dies and goes to God and God asks him what does he want to do now he will reply, “If I have been successful enough to be able to help one person in life please send me back for another life so I can help two this time.” I got the normal cold chill sensation as a confirmation during mention of Kundalini yoga and I was forced to ask myself why am I responsible to talk about the key to life. I noted that I should try to follow my dharma, or what limited understanding I have of it as best as possible. Swamiji made me laugh when he referred to life as being

215What On Earth Is Kundalini?common sense. He said that realistically life is just common sense but we have to entice you to do meditation by saying it will awaken your Kundalini but after the Kundalini has awakened you will realise that life is just common sense. Swamiji never ceased to amaze me with his ability to detail the most abstract philosophical concepts and include them into a light hearted tale in order to emphasise and appreciate the concepts in the right context.

Before going to bed I went for a walk with another fellow student and appreciated our connection quite deeply. She told me about a friend of hers who had an imbalanced Kundalini awakening during chiropractic treatment. The practitioner was aware of Kundalini awakenings and immediately referred the client to India for spiritual assistance. She spent a short period of time in India before returning to her homeland. Before the awakening the lady had functioned normally as a housewife and mother of two children, following her return she was unable to live the same lifestyle and was forced to choose to live on a secluded island in a very isolated location.

Around this time a few buttons were getting pressed. I thought I had made a connection with one individual during the yogic studies two course and due to the expectations and unrealistic mental construction I had formed prior to reassociating with him, I was bound to be disappointed. I intuited that even though he was in a different lifestyle situation and seemed to be working for the benefit of everyone his identification with himself was intense. This situation is not set out to illustrate his issues but rather emphasise the lesson presented and the realisation that everyone fluctuates and self-acceptance is essential. Self-acceptance in the sense that I accept my innate constitution and personality as well as my fluctuating behavioural patterns that resulted from my underlying tendencies being unconsciously expressed.

I learnt that the German word for coincidence is zufall, which when translated can be interpreted as, “Falling to you.”

I was wondering the difference between near death experiences and spontaneous Kundalini awakenings as they open up ones perception to the interconnectedness of life as well as the astral plane. I knew that Kundalini awakenings were the end result of systematically working


through the koshas to experience the underlying reality of pure bliss and love. As the koshas are systematically perceived and experienced so too the chakras are systematically activated, purified and balanced for the experience of spiritual illumination (samadhi) to occur.

The near death experience following a most intense shock to the body and mind which results in separation of the two, allowing subtle realms to be perceived directly through the part of the mind that does not function through the five physical senses. In this way the underlying reality and interconnectedness of all being is appreciated and directly experienced so the person can decide to either perform spiritual disciplines to activate dormant areas of the brain to allow the subtle perception to occur once again or consciously work in their current state for the upliftment and benefit of all. In this context I feel that the near death experience closely relates to the experience of shaktipath diksha where the realisation of oneness and interconnectedness of all life is realised through the grace of the Guru and his transference of the divine energy. With shaktipath diksha the aspirant is given the entrée size meal of bliss to allow them to decide whether first of all they like the restaurant and second of all whether they want to systematically work through spiritual disciplines to be able to attain the main meal sized portion of the bliss.

I realised while speaking about near death experiences and death itself that they are all extremely connected to subconscious and unconscious impressions within the body mind complex and the limbic system. When Jesus referred to dying while still alive in order to appreciate the truth then I understood this to mean that techniques are available to systematically work through the subtle impressions present within the human framework in order to deal with them through subtle perception in a controlled manner. I don’t know if this makes sense but I am sure to be unrepressed in ones life it is necessary to systematically work through the contractions still present within our body. So we have a choice of whether we want to consciously work on our pranic spectrum through the techniques designed to influence our subtle energy system in the hope that as it manifests and displays itself as the human body it is free from inhibitions, blockages and contractions, which ultimately lead to imbalance and disharmony or we can wait for the issues to manifest

217What On Earth Is Kundalini?creating the inevitable situation where it must be dealt with.

Once again my hatred for the current civilisation surfaced and I appreciated the impression to be way deep. Psychically I saw myself as a Red North American Indian. The sadness and hatred perceived was intense. The issue of self-acceptance was once again reconfirmed, as the vision was to do with acceptance of the other person’s behaviour by seeing them as a part of me. Realising that all forms of life are doing the best they can, according to what they know and who they are, made me feel a little less resentful about the situation. When I appreciate life on this level I find that I am more content and accepting as well feeling less of a need to adhere to my own values and beliefs.

I confirmed that sacred races still living on the planet in the form of the Hopi Indians, the Polynesians, the Whitaha, the Maoris, Buddhists and Yogis are currently working throughout the planet for the upliftment of humanity and towards the inevitable satyuga. Satyuga being the period in the future of truth, where humans know and understand that all things on the planet are connected. The planet is currently experiencing a war of consciousness. The innate dormant evolutionary mechanism and the cycle of evolution will see to it that the human race creates a balanced and harmonious existence in line with the subtle reality and the manifest physical laws.

I was often prone to very vivid dreams at the ashram, as I would not partake in marijuana inhalation while there. I had a dream where my mother and father were present as well as my uncle and his partner. The five of us were together and the important part of the dream that I remember was when I yelled at my uncle, “The goal of human existence is reconnection with your soul, you narrow minded person.” I realised that this was a release of a very subtle and deep inhibition. I had more than likely reinforced this contraction around the years of ten or eleven. My uncle and his wife at the time were the first conscious examples in my life of Christianity. I was never really attracted to their concepts and beliefs but did appreciate that they themselves chose to live a life according to the guidelines of Christianity.

Much of the day was spent doing yoga practices focussing around the chest and heart region and coincidently I was blessed to be given


a mala from a lovely lady called Maitraya. Not only was it a huge heart day but also someone named as a representation of the divine mother gave me a present. Because of all the love and energy around I felt like crying during the day several times. I felt like sobbing with pure joy in thankfulness and devotion to the loving energy of life as it was expressed through Maitraya’s gift.

I experienced some myofascial release therapy. It was focussed on the removal of tension within the subtle levels and layers of being. I was told that the tension in my lower spine was overwhelming. During the treatment I easily crept into a subconscious state and in this state I perceived two significant events. The first one I saw myself as a son within a family during the 1800’s. No matter how hard I tried I could never please my father and he treated me badly and without respect, which cultivated a feeling of inadequacy. The other image was of a little girl who was locked in a dark room frequently being used and abused for sex. She was treated totally inappropriately, which compounded her own feelings of inadequacy. I felt much better both physically and psychologically following the treatment.

I noted down points relating to three subjects. One of self-acceptance and while seeing myself in others and them as a reflection of me. Acceptance of both sets of behavioural patterns, appreciating the ones that resonate with my own values and beliefs and the behavioural patterns that are expressed that lay outside my own value and belief structure. I was trying to develop and express compassion to people that did not understand either myself or concepts that were outside their own value and belief structure that functions through the personality. The issue of minimising expectations also arose. At times I would see myself as selflessly giving but sometimes when I did not receive back I would have a lot to think about.

The 20th of May 2003 was a very significant day for the future of yoga on the Australian continent. After much hard work Kriyatmananda and Vimalratnananda had submitted an application to the government for the yoga ashram to be accredited as a recognised training organization by the government. This was the first step as I see it in a very long process that will eventually lead to yoga being introduced into government curriculums and the general population.

219What On Earth Is Kundalini?During the day I received a confirmation that during my life I will be an example to many simply through living. Confirmations like this and the fact that I have achieved the goal of human existence and worked out the key to life would often stimulate a component within my mind that wanted to jump up and be known for this. Whenever I felt that separate and limited self working through me purely for self-gratification I would consciously try to curb its annoyance. It was as if my personality and identification with the past was slowly being severed but the personality did not want to go. I grew an appreciation that not only is my life devoted to the Goddess Kundalini but one of my roles on the planet is to attempt to make Kundalini an everyday word within the collective psyche of human beings. I tried to focus on this being my dharma and everything in my life working towards fulfilling it while inevitably existing and furthering my self-understanding.

That evening an Akanda Kirtan was performed. The Akanda Kirtan involves the Maha Mantra “Hare Krishna, Hare Rama.” The Kirtan involved many performers and at least two harmoniums. The tradition was to sing the Mantra continually for as long as desired. The tune varied relative to the performers and the atmosphere was fantastic. I enjoyed the experience for three and a half hours and at 11pm retired to bed. Apparently the Kirtan continued until 1am, which was reflected in most people’s eyes the following morning.

I was continuing to build connections with many of the residents but was amazed to realise and appreciate that the more I understood about Kundalini especially my own Kundalini awakening, the less I really want to talk about it. I saw this phenomena occur for mainly three reasons. The first reason being that I personally understand the experience now so I don’t have to continually talk to people and put it out there for their opinion and validation. The more I understand it the more introverted I become. Thirdly, I continue to experience extreme mental loneliness and wonder what good it is to know about the key to life or strive towards achieving the goal of human existence when not many other people understand or desire it.

The course concluded on the 22nd of May 2003 and as the course wound up it was confirmed that the close knit group of students


were very compatible and underlying each persons desire to teach was the urge to serve others in the hope of assisting with the spiritual upliftment of all of humanity. This was great because these people represented the start of the generation that will introduce yoga to the masses within the Australian continent. Upon completion of the course farewells were said and the group departed looking forward to reforming upon completion and assessment of the course. My friend Kriyadhara drove me to Ram’s house.

I had dinner with Ram and Sita and was well looked after. I went to visit a friend with Ram and was amazed that during the evening I was exposed to two very significant locations from my childhood. They stimulated a lot of memories, which were not so positive in nature. The following morning was spent with Sita hanging out in Penrith. I met up with Johnny and Herman around lunchtime and spent the evening with them. I appreciated Johnny’s comment that stated that even though I had been out of the state for a long time it seemed now after just a couple of hours that I had never been anywhere. This symbolised true friendship.

I was slightly concerned about my inability to function within the culture after watching a local soccer game. The players were about ten years old and there was a rude and obnoxious coach pinpointing individuals responsible for faults and belittling them in front of the other players in the team. After watching his obnoxious behaviour for a short period of time I yelled out, “Compliments would be much more beneficial than criticism.” I got some dirty looks from the teams player’s parents and was not fazed by it. I could clearly see that the coach unfortunately perceived the team as an extension of himself and while functioning through a limited understanding of life was quite willing to display his over dominant imbalanced tendencies. Someone told me to shut up and leave the kids alone. I said it was the kids that I was concerned about to which I was informed that they were alright and then I replied, “Come back and tell me that when they are 17 and they want to bash the coach up.” It was situations like this that concerned me, not because of stating the truth or perceiving and interpreting life on a much more subtle level, but because of the primal behavioural patterns of many people that may be expressed towards me.

221What On Earth Is Kundalini?Johnny drove me to the airport so I could fly home to Tasmania.

Mad Dan picked me up on arrival and delivered me home. Bert had agreed to let me stay at his house for the two-week period that I was back in Tasmania before leaving. Bert’s house has a magnificent view overlooking the Derwent River and is very comfortable.

During the intensive at the ashram, marijuana was abstained from but unfortunately upon returning to a lifestyle based within the current culture the habit was once again continued. I had decided that if my marijuana habit could not be stopped within the near future then it is necessary to live at the ashram in the hope that it will assist me in stopping. Realistically I personally don’t care if I do or I don’t smoke marijuana. I know that the Goddess loves me no matter what I do and will continue to. The main motivating reason to cease marijuana at this point in time was through the justification that when I do present information, seminars and lectures about Kundalini and human consciousness if marijuana is evident in my life then some people through their own value and belief structure will focus on that aspect and me being a drug addict rather than the information and requirements necessary relating to the key to life. Presentation without marijuana involved would leave no option but to assimilate the information into ones own understanding. With marijuana involved I would probably just be seen as a pothead in their eyes.

During the last couple of days at the yoga ashram the format and layout for my third book came to me. I had been working on ideas for several months and I was amazed to appreciate that the format was being intuited from subtle realms. While I was noting points for the format I would often be awake at night with the light on. I was blessed once again with the company of a young male for the duration of the course at the ashram. Prabhav presented as a very humble and deep man and utilised the Swiss influenced english to communicate. We had a great time throughout the course and the depths of our friendship definitely did not reflect the length of our acquaintance. Prabhav was well educated in the feldenkrais technique which complimented his interest in yoga and life.

I was in the process of organising everything to leave the state of Tasmania. Even though I did not really want to leave as deep down


stability is one of the only things that I craved it was inevitable that I leave the state for at least a short period of time.

My doctor was fantastic, even though he did not understand the slightest thing about Kundalini he accepted my situation and the explanation and treated me appropriately. He even went to the effort of looking up Kundalini on the Internet and asking several psychiatrists if they had ever heard of the context. I respected this sort of behaviour and appreciated him to be more open-minded as he was of Eastern European decent.

At the conclusion of my week off of work due to illness I ventured out for the night. I danced with a couple of friends. After dancing for a while several people from work arrived at the venue and I appreciated that the director was still acting immaturely in the way that he would ignore me and literally not have the time to interact. I did not mind this but was left to question how the world will end up if people such as this who have an inability to differentiate between their personality and reality are running it. The following night I ventured out by myself and danced alone on a dance floor while surrounded by females. The experience alone was worth it and the imbalanced tendency I used to have which influenced me into acting inappropriately through seeking sex and self-gratification no matter what the expense had faded, while these days I had a tendency to not be focussed on acquiring sex at such an extent and more likely to enjoy the experience of dancing and the sublimity in the moment.

I was nearing the end of a significant rest period in the sense that I had been focussing towards yoga rather than working for money to fulfil my financial obligations. I noted in my diary that belief comes from an acquisition of knowledge and faith is a result of an experience that confirms that knowledge.

The next day I returned to work and intuited that the majority of my fellow workers had become distant from me. The business manager and the director were less than content to interact with me and this confirmed a lack of integrity on their part as well as the inability to function within their specified role as a professional. I persevered with it for four days and let my chief radiographer know my opinion of the overall situation.

223What On Earth Is Kundalini?On the Thursday and Friday of my last week a morale building

exercise for the imaging department had been co-ordinated. I asked my boss, since it was evident that I was the only one not on the list, which day I would be attending (purely as an antagonism). I didn’t need intuition to perceive that they did not want me to intend but I thought that I would create an interesting situation anyway. My boss informed me that the morale building exercise was for team building and appreciation for focus on the immediate future of the imaging department. I informed my boss that I found it ironic that I was not allowed to attend since I was clearly one of the few people within the general x-ray area that was willing to “stick my neck out” in order to bring to the attention of management some of their pitfalls regarding contractual obligations. I was left to wonder if the economic cycle was purely for people prone to conforming to the beliefs of others purely on a basis perpetuated by finances and a cycle of consumerism.

Friday the 6th of June was the last day of employment for me at the Royal Hobart Hospital. It was an extremely ironic day where I was slightly saddened and realistically reassured in my own mind about many suspicions. The management of the hospital had confirmed and agreed to upgrading the general x-ray department on this very day, which made me smile and appreciate, that the urgency required for the attention to the general x-ray department had been properly brought into the conscious mind of the CEO and departmental management.

I received “what I deserved” in the form of a farewell present in recognition for the service I had provided in the form of diagnostic radiography and the education that I provided to many of the staff within my area of specialty. What I received was nothing and many facts contributed to this experience. One being, that I had attended the yoga ashram for two weeks. Two being, I called in sick for one of my two weeks that I was supposed to return to work. Three being, a large employers inability to appreciate a mutually beneficial relationship and rather see humans as something that can be exploited at their expense for profit. Four being, due to my inability to remain quiet about hypocrisies and double standards I received the cold shoulder


from management. Five being, people’s identification of their job as a part of themselves and this influencing their behavioural patterns to stay distant from trouble makers (truth-sayers) like me.

Besides this I had left my financial situation reasonably tight as I had some major bills to pay and debts to clear. I realised that I had sixty-seven dollars in the bank and this was to get me to a place where I needed at least one hundred dollars to get there. I needed to borrow about one hundred dollars reasonably quickly so that I could get to my destination of Bega on the south coast of New South Wales with a little money to spare. I asked a few people at work if they would have the ability to lend me fifty dollars but unfortunately out of the people that I had asked no one could assist me.

I started thinking about my friends and was wondering if I could ask any of those and I was soon to realise that for some reason I tend to hang around unemployed skateboarders, unemployed musicians, employed musicians and post separation mid thirty mothers. I very quickly grew to appreciate that these people had minimal funds and this was reflected by not over emphasising money to achieve contentment. I was lucky enough to get fifty dollars off Ji and this was reasonably significant because for the last six months he had not had the money spare. I figured that I would then go to the bank to withdraw my sixty-seven dollars. While standing at the bank I was amazed to look up and recognise my friend Crystal at the teller next to me. We said hello and talked for a little while then I hit her up for a loan and asked her for fifty dollars. She could only lend me forty without lining up for the teller again so I quickly took this and was forced to appreciate the synchronicity of Life once again.

I had organised to catch the ferry (Spirit of Tasmania) across Bass Strait on Saturday night. I spent early Saturday packing my belongings into my car, placing some in storage then travelling to the north of the state to board the ferry.

I had arranged to meet up with a friend in Devonport prior to boarding the ferry. Unfortunately on arrival in Devonport my friend had been called upon to fulfil some parenting obligations.

I went to the cinema instead and watched the second movie in the Matrix trilogy. The Matrix was one of many movies within

225What On Earth Is Kundalini?the last five years that have placed emphasis on subtle realms and manipulation of the masses. This is yet another confirmation that the consciousness of the planet at the moment is evolving and whether humans like it or not they have to go with it.

Following the movie I boarded the ferry and met up with two students (Rob and Kieran) I had met at my place of employment. They had finished their clinical placement at Hobart and were returning to Melbourne and their respective houses. They were funny and good company. I appreciated the depth of Kieran’s integrity, which was a result of him overcoming adversity. This reassured me that adversity, when overcome can lead to the growth and development of the individual ultimately resulting in increased conscious awareness of ones self and subsequently spiritual upliftment. The boys told me that they had been upgraded from a two-berth cabin to a four-berth cabin. They asked me if I would like to sleep in one of their spare beds rather than the aeroplane style seat I had booked for my transit. I was blessed by the opportunity and thankful for it but did appreciate that as my humility increases I find it difficult sometimes to accept other people’s expressions of gratitude or sharing towards me.

Upon putting my head down on the pillow I soon realised that it would take some time to fall asleep. I could feel the waves being ridden by the huge vessel and as we would slowly ride up one wave I would feel the peak at the top just before the boat would suddenly dip and my body would remain suspended in the air momentarily while the mattress felt uncompressed. Considering Bass Strait to be one of the most tumultuous regions of ocean on the planet I guess it was quite reasonable that after about fifteen minutes of rising and falling with the rhythmic motion of the ocean and life I fell asleep.

In the morning we arrived in Melbourne, I said goodbye to my friends then headed off in my car towards Bega and Tathra. Four hours into the eight-hour journey I picked up a hitchhiker by the name of Bart. He was a down to earth young man and me with my current predisposition was prone to talk to him about philosophy and life. By the end of the journey we had connected through mutual respect and appreciation of each other’s opinions about the current


day culture. Even though this was the first day on the Australian mainland and I was attempting to minimise my marijuana inhalation I found it strange and almost impossible to refuse when Bart offered me some. I appreciated this session to be a symbol of thanks from Bart for the ride as well as a unique opportunity to relate on that level as well as presenting a chance to Bart for him to appreciate a real human being with a spiritual outlook on life that smokes pot.

I had committed myself to eight weeks work only to realise that five weeks full time was the maximum I wanted to work before I became edgy and reached my threshold. Within a couple of weeks of being at Tathra I met two young guys (Sleek and Craney) who were very hospitable, open minded and fun. We hung out together for many nights during the eight weeks, which was a great opportunity for me as these guys were friends on my journey that I related well to. Sleek, Craney and myself spent many evenings together both smoking pot and playing pool. These activities were two of my favourite pastimes and I was blessed to be able to hang out with these guys for six weeks.

While playing pool I realised that there are two states of mind that I might be experiencing while playing a shot. Sometimes I would be concentrating on the white ball, the coloured ball I was going for, the pocket, the rest of the balls on the table, the other pockets, the people around the table and whether I was in front of my opponent or not. In this frame of mind the ball that I was aiming for would rarely go in due to a lack of focus. The other state of mind that I noticed while playing was the one where I would work out the angle necessary to sink the coloured ball then I would aim to that angle looking through the white ball and only focussed on where I was going to hit the white ball. A bit like the story in the Bhagavad-Gita where Arjuna takes aim with his bow and arrow at a bird. He is destined to hit his target as his sole focus is primarily on the bird’s eye and nothing else around it distracts his concentration. In this frame of mind it seemed as if I was in some sort of zone where the balls that I was aiming for would easily go into the pocket. It was more of a focus of being one with my object rather than remaining separate and trying to work with it.

227What On Earth Is Kundalini?The only dilemma I experienced in Tathra was due to my own

ability to relate on the level immediately with people. As I would relate with the nineteen and twenty year olds on the level I would be me in the fact that I was totally open and honest. Unfortunately due to the fact that many of this generation are products of a post war generation based on consumerism and the subsequent economic growth they have an innate tendency to be apathetic towards accumulation of material possessions and status as well as having a lack of trust that is evident to anyone outside their close circle of friends. At times I would ask them about drugs, behaviours and economics as well as their own life situation and this resulted in suspicion. I was suspected of being a detective and even though I scoff at the idea I can fully appreciate how I would be perceived as a threat by these nineteen year olds due to their mistrust and paranoia. These young guys represented a different breed to me. Not only are they the future fathers (and mothers), they have subtle perception, emphasise life at the expense of money and not the opposite while trying their best. Several times in Tathra I was alone and was amazed by the fact that a young man would come up and introduce himself and ask me how I was going. It was like an initial shock to the system as habitually I was used to the lifestyle within the city where separateness is emphasised and distance from knowing about anyone else is encouraged.

I soon grew an appreciation that the people living in the region of the south coast of New South Wales had chosen to do so predominately as a lifestyle choice rather than in the desire to be financially rich. I also appreciated the similarities with the Tasmanian mentality and appreciated the harmonious social interactions as a sign of how humans are supposed to act. The only time that violence ever resulted was when alcohol was involved mixed with testosterone and expressed through an extremely limited perspective and understanding of ones self.

After completing my eight-week mission of full time work (I realised about five weeks is the threshold for me functioning on that level) it was inevitable that I move to the Satyananda Yoga Academy to further align my life with its purpose. Amazingly in a place where most males are utilised in the process of karma yoga to work on a physical


level in selfless service as the attitude of witnessing the mind and its fluctuations is employed, I am divinely blessed to be placed in a job that is assisting within the education and research departments. I strongly feel that my innate constitution and psychological predisposition are karmicly meant to align with Jnana yoga rather than Karma yoga. Not only am I happy to spend most of my time in these areas, I am also working with four of the most experienced and knowledgeable minds in the Australian Satyananda Yoga Tradition. I am overwhelmed with humility in the realisation that I am totally blessed to be one person out of twenty million to be in such a position.

The synchronicity in my life is totally amazing and overwhelming but I am getting used to the fact that life is driven and coordinated by an innate intelligence that knows what every atom in the universe is doing. Not only is this occurring but I have been placed in a position where the Australian Kundalini Research and Healing Centre is establishing ties with the Australian Satyananda Yoga Academy and the Bihar Yoga Bharati (which is the first government accredited university on the planet). I am also being forced to return to the planet in a way that I have to validate the research I have done into a “standard” scientifically structured format. I know that it may be years before the wisdom acquired through direct experience can be validated but it is inevitable during this time of transformation in consciousness for the whole human race. As the evolutionary impulse within the human body continues creating the desire to know itself and the underlying reality that permeates all things there will be no stopping us.

I was also confused by the amazing fact that for the majority of the three years that I was with Kali she was repetitively telling me that her value and belief structure did not involve marijuana. Ironically nine out of ten females that I meet post separation smoke marijuana. Is it because they are of a younger generation and emphasise marijuana and other drugs rather than alcohol. This is also reflective of the enhanced consciousness that these generations represent. These drugs are working on a subtle level to activate dormant areas of perception and expand ones conscious awareness of the different dimensions of being.

Looking back on the last nine months following my marriage eviction I see that no matter how I apply my free will it is inevitable

229What On Earth Is Kundalini?that much more subtle energies are directing my life. The way the most bizarre situations occur and ultimately fall together to land me in the correct place at the correct time is uncanny. I was still experiencing bizarre things but I was certainly more understanding and accepting of them. When I initially got to Tathra I stayed off of drugs for two weeks and one day while I was x-raying a patient I was amazed to actually visualise red things floating through the air. I was a bit tired after my lunch break following the need for my body to use the energy to digest the food so I was somewhat in a dazed semiconscious state. I have mentioned the fact that when looking into the sky I often see “electric worms” circling and interacting in the light. This was not the same experience or perception and the lights were dancing in the air for a couple of seconds similar to the worms but not as long and with a reddish outer glow. Can you imagine people’s responses to me when I inform them that I just saw “small red lights” dancing through the air? I never told anyone apart from you reading it now.

The idea of getting out of Tasmania to clear my mind, appreciate my marriage separation, get in touch with my feelings and confirm the new direction and conscious choice to follow it in my life was a good idea. I thought of many things and came to terms with some underlying issues. Because of the fact I had been going over my life while writing this book some serious emotions resurfaced. There was overwhelming sadness and tears streaming down my face over the loss of my wife and how I messed up my marriage. Ironically all I ever wanted was love and emotional connection but due to the fact that I worked full time, didn’t balance Kundalini with my lifestyle and because of this repression smoked marijuana I never received it. I had to witness the experience and try to define whether it was sadness due to the lack of company in my life (loneliness) or sadness because of the lack of love my wife had shown me.

I realised that even though it may have been perceived that my wife left me because I was a pothead that was not the only reason underlying the manifestations around the situation. The sadness was stemming from the hopelessness of the situation when I finally found yoga to replace pot to control the Kundalini my wife and I were no longer connected. It was clearly evident that Kali and I were


not on the same wavelength and our appreciation and expression of things was evident of this. I knew that she had served the purpose of being my lower chakras for the time that we had been together but the sadness stemmed from me not being able to have time or a place to express my unconditional love towards her and try to make it up to her for being there to provide stability in my life.

As I was sitting there sobbing a TV programmed commenced and it was about Florence Nightingale. It was about her whole life and not just the glorified aspect. I noted significant points that not only were evident in her life but coincidently related directly to mine. These points included the facts that between twenty and thirty she often felt like suicide because of her own condition (whatever that may be). She had major ups and downs throughout her life. She said that God called her throughout her life and that she was doing a Job for God as she saw herself as a servant. There was a quote that read, “I see nothing desirable but death …... my present life is suicide.” She said this at the age of 31, this being the same age as me right now. Does it sound familiar? I don’t know what’s going on but I will continue to follow the signs.

There were two television shows on Compass and Insight, one to do with yoga and the other to do with Hinduism. The show to do with yoga was fantastically detailed and emphasised the fact that yoga has become over glorified within the current culture as a physical discipline while people remain unaware of the goal of it. I watched the show until the end and was amazed to realise that my friend Swami Kriyatmananda Saraswati was interviewed for the show to discuss the Satyananda Yoga Tradition. The show also included a little bit of emphasis on research by Swami Shankadev Saraswati.

Two weeks later the show had a programme on Hinduism, which was also fantastically researched and presented. Unfortunately when the diagram of Kundalini was shown it was ridiculously interpreted. There was a picture of a snake circled three and a half times around an uprising of water that had its foundation in the ocean, on the right side of the ocean humans were yanking on the snakes tale and on the left side of the picture Gods supposedly inhabited that bank. The quote for the picture was, “There was a war between man and the Gods using the snake as a rope.” Apart from this gross and misfortunate misinterpretation of the key to life the rest of the show was totally fascinating.

231What On Earth Is Kundalini?I forwarded the following letter to Insight of which I received

acknowledgement of receipt of the letter but little else.

To the Insight teamYour programme on Hinduism on the 27th July was excellent, well

done. The Kumbha Mela is a huge and extremely significant event for humanity at the moment.

Unfortunately there was a major misinterpretation of one of the illustrations that was shown. It was the picture of the snake looped three and a half times around a large uprising of water that had its foundation in the ocean below it. On the right side of the picture humans were holding the tail and on the left side the head was pointing towards the Gods. The picture was interpreted as a tug of war between man and the Gods using the snake as a rope.

The snake actually represents the ‘key to life’, in the form of a serpent known as Kundalini. It is the Sanatan Dharma cultures interpretation of human consciousness. Maslow’s hierarchy of needs relates directly to it. Kundalini and the concepts pertaining to it are Sanskrit in nature. The philosophies define human consciousness through a direct interpretation of the human energy system (chakras and meridians) while also relating to all religions and other philosophies.

Kundalini is believed to be the energy within humans that is responsible for evolution of the psyche, increases in spiritual awareness or consciousness, genius and enlightenment. It is also known as the bridge of consciousness and the link between mind and matter.

In the diagram presented on your show the humans holding the tail represent the lower levels of conscious awareness (consciousness), the snake represents the bridge of consciousness that interacts through the chakras and the nervous system and the potential for humans to work towards becoming Gods. Yoga presents systematic techniques that when accompanied with self-discipline and regular practise, lead to the activation of dormant areas within the nervous system that enhance perception and understanding of life.

To understand Kundalini and Human consciousness is essential for the human race as currently many wars are happening but the biggest war will be that of Consciousness. This will happen in the near future, (if humans are to survive on the planet) on an individual and universal scale (as they are reflective of each other).


I am the proprietor of The Australian Kundalini Research & Healing Centre, which is based in Tasmania. My interest in human consciousness stems both from a personal experience I had at 8:20 am on July the 12th 1998 and the fact that I have been working in the medical field for the past ten years in the area of diagnostic imaging. During this time I have noticed that the traditional medical field deals primarily with the physical components of life. The field of Neurology is the least understood area in medicine and the common belief is that humans utilise up to only ten percent of their brains.

I firmly believe acknowledgement should be given to both the physical and non-physical parts of the human when dealing with overall health and healing. Perhaps our limitations occur due to the fact that subtle electromagnetic radiation and certain biochemicals are undetectable using scientific apparatus or the fact that we purely interpret our surroundings with the five physical senses, who knows? These are certainly contributing factors to the fact that our knowledge and awareness of the subtle human energy system has remained unrecognised for hundreds or thousands of years. The knowledge pertaining to internal energy is slowly being accepted into the western culture as information and wisdom about activities such as yoga, tai chi, chi kung, acupuncture, acupressure, massage, reiki, meditation and Chinese medicine are slowly being recognised for their potential and being incorporated into everyday life for their benefits. All of these modalities aim towards clearing ones own internal energy system whilst also influencing ones consciousness.

I have been studying to accumulate knowledge about my experience. I have completed Yogic studies I & II and am currently studying Teacher Training I, through the Satyananda Yoga Association, Mangrove Mountain, N.S.W.

I now feel comfortable to explain my experience and relate it to the ancient knowledge that confirms such experiences. If you are willing to consider it I would like to be on your program to talk about my experiences, knowledge, goals and ambitions in the hope that I may assist anyone that may have experienced something similar. All experiences are uniquely individual but I am sure that you would be amazed at the number of incidences or personal experiences that respond to your show if given the opportunity.

233What On Earth Is Kundalini?Since your show covers such a wide range of interesting topics it

seems to me to be the best possible option to get a general overview of the population’s thoughts or opinions regarding the phenomena of Kundalini.

Thank you for taking the time to read this letter. I look forward to your response.

If anything is not clear or you would like to discuss any possibilities please don’t hesitate to call.

Yours Faithfully Michael Perring

The footage regarding the Naga Babas was fascinating. Not only are Naga Babas known for smearing their bodies in ashes, total renunciation of the desires of the body, super natural powers they also worship the Goddess Kundalini in the form of Naga. The show blew me away with its ability to coincide with the less than two hours of TV that I watch throughout the whole week. I felt a connection with the Naga Babas to such an extent that I more than likely was one in a past life. I was very disappointed that I could not be in India walking around naked smeared in ashes living in ecstatic bliss through continual worship of the divine mother. My karma is much more detailed than that as I am incarnate in the western culture and have to persevere with the task at hand. Will it really be possible for an everyday human being such as myself to introduce the concepts of Kundalini into the collective psyche of the human race during this current era?

Five years to the day of my experience and it is now July the 12th 2003. I have a desire to establish a centre on the planet that researches human conscious awareness and the innate tendency for it to develop and be enhanced both unconsciously and with conscious effort. I’m sitting on my lounge with the blinds closed. I have thought that the rays of the universe are shining on me. I question myself, “Should I open the blinds for a sunbath or not?” The answer comes back, “No.” Then the comment, “Don’t be lazy.” Then the thought, “The rays will shine through the curtain anyway.” So I closed my eyes and enjoyed the light. I thought about the brightness of the experience and perception and thought to myself, “Is this the light


of Samadhi?” Then I tuned in to the song on the television and the words were, “The sun is shining, the world is smiling. I need you, I love you, stick together, you’re mine forever. I got you on my mind you’re with me night and day.”

So basically here I am predisposed to intelligence with some seriously bizarre stuff occurring around me, I try to do my best (as the buddha said) and even though my documentation is somewhat amateur and imbalanced, I know that the information is inevitable to the future survival of the human race. As soon as someone (probably with lots of money) realises that the mechanism within the human vehicle that is responsible for mystical experience and subsequent spiritual illumination has an innate tendency to activate itself there will be a massive transformation of understanding regarding life, humans and their interconnectedness to the underlying reality of pure being.

I ask the light end of the spectrum and the energies working within it to work as a whole towards the upliftment of consciousness of human beings, which will eventually lead to the perpetual harmonious existence of a large number of the race.

Deo concente

KALI MY PRINCESSKali is a magnificent lady with a beautiful heart. She is well respected and functions well within the current day culture. When I met her she was laid back because she had just returned from holidays and she had a good balance between being able to give and express herself as well as interact on all levels. Unlike myself, Kali is introverted so a lot of her concerns were often not expressed. When they were I was probably stoned so I had a limited appreciation of them. When we lived on five acres, twenty minutes from town we had much time in the evening to spend together. We moved into a suburb and life slowly became culturally “normal”. Kali was not selfish in any way and in our three-bedroom house I had one room for the computer to work on Kundalini research and the back room became a yoga room when my courses started. She had a spontaneous love for animals, a great integrity relating to her work ethic.

Unfortunately we were never on the same wavelength and even though Kali tried to love me in many ways it was futile to show this

235What On Earth Is Kundalini?love through physical possessions. She was game enough to marry me, against all the warnings and concerns of people close to her and this I greatly respect. As our relationship continued Kali’s artistic expression became minimal as she was under more and more pressure to perform and conform as a lawyer. This exhausted her of most of her energy on a mental level which often inhibited emotional expression or connection. Many times throughout our relationship Kali suggested that we go for bushwalks or drives to the beach but unfortunately due to her innate ability to procrastinate and her lack of conscious recognition that her job depleted her we only did this about three or four times during the three years we were together.

Kali’s mother had a very strong personality and at the time of recommending a career suggested to Kali that she become a doctor. Kali was not interested in becoming a doctor so her mother recommended becoming a lawyer. In my opinion Kali’s innate constitution and underlying predispositions were not formulated to work the majority of her life performing an extremely rational job within an imbalanced left sided brain culture.

Because I would prefer to smoke marijuana rather than drink alcohol we often didn’t socialise together but rather separately. This was unfortunate because even though I had met Kali at Woodsdale where she was intoxicated into an extremely drunk state I never got to go out with her and appreciate this behavioural pattern as I felt she unconsciously did not want me to see her in that state again. It seemed like she was inhibited in front of me. On several occasions we did socialise for dinner but ironically because I was working full time I was often on call or working shift, which left Kali to go out with her friends alone. The opportunities that I did have to accompany her (which were extremely rare) I was more than likely tired from either smoking drugs or attempting to maintain the household and overbearing lifestyle that I had brought upon myself by trying to conform.

MY FAILED MARRIAGEThere are many factors contributing to the unsuccessful result within my marriage and I am sure that smoking marijuana was not the only one. When Kali was open and happy I could perceive her thoughts


directly and the closeness was amazing. We were initially attracted to each other as with most couplings because of the unconscious urge to be attracted to someone who would compliment the other person. I was not initially attracted to Kali but complimented her about several of her attributes because I was stating facts. These compliments stimulated her attraction to me following her rejection from Phil and that’s how it started.

Our first date was less than a year after my Kundalini awakening but I had no idea what I had experienced, was still extremely unstable and was set upon investigating and understanding it intensely, at least until I came to terms with it. I was convinced in the existence of an all-pervading intelligence, so when Kali initiated our first meeting I consulted the I-Ching. The I-Ching read, “Opposites unite in harmony.” This was the main reason I gave the relationship a try, irrespective of the opinions of three clairvoyants who advised me that she was not the one for me.

Soon after starting our relationship it was evident that our attraction was based on lust and mutual respect. I understand this to be the honeymoon period of any relationship and it is evident scientifically that certain chemicals are released to encourage the urge of sexual activity. Males are biologically programmed with an innate desire to spread their seed with as many women as possible so that in the future there is a chance of being the dominant species within the race. Females on the other hand have the urge to unconsciously choose one of the male species that will improve it and assist the evolutionary process. Unfortunately in the western culture the male urge is uncontrollable and taken to extremes and the female urge is somewhat clouded due to the inability of females to intuitively detect the correct partner. The pheromones interacting between our genders are not really appreciated and pollution, additives, toxins and the pill as well as the predominant form of attraction within this culture being on a physical level often taint the senses.

I knew that Kali and I had come together to develop stability for myself and an appreciation of the spiritual life for her. This was never meant to be and I realise that Kali did a great job to be my lower three chakras for the three years we were together. Ironically

237What On Earth Is Kundalini?just as I was coming to terms with the situation Kali had left me emotionally. She left me on a mental level three days after our wedding, an emotional level seven months after our wedding and physically sixteen months after our wedding.

Prior to the wedding I was still addicted to marijuana and had some concerns about meeting the necessary requirements for Kali to be happy and content with my behavioural patterns. I was also concerned by Kali’s mother’s input into our wedding plans so I advised Kali to postpone the wedding. She chose not to and look what happened. She did try really hard to love me but with an inability to relate or appreciate my condition she was prone to buying physical presents or doing a physical job to please me. This was evident in the fact that we could only do yoga together if I joined her Hatha Yoga class rather than her attend an integral yoga class with myself.

It was amazing to appreciate Cheryl’s interpretation of my relationship with Kali. I visited Cheryl for some counselling one day and asked her if we could discuss the problems in my relationship or the issues I had personally to overcome. She said start with my own personal issues first so I listed them then I went on to list the issues concerning me within my marriage. After completion Cheryl looked at me in amazement and asked why I had gotten myself into a relationship that made me deal with all of my issues. She said that most people enter into relationships that allow them to deal with one or two issues at a time but not all at once. I told her that my karma had manifested following my Kundalini awakening and it was in order for me to deal with it so I did not have to incarnate on this planet again. Cheryl understood. This relationship was perfect for my karmic repercussions especially in the fact that it made me face myself and the issues I had about ex-boyfriends and policemen. I know that my thoughts manifested and created my life exactly as I was thinking it would turn out.

When I visited my drug dealer I would joke about getting divorced, perhaps I should have been telling him how much my wife was in love with me. I can guarantee one of two things, either my thoughts manifested gradually over a period of time or my karmic repercussions from the ill-treatment of my wife relating to drug addiction manifested immediately. I see now that I was disrespectful


and selfish and this led to create an extremely sad situation for Kali, which resulted in loneliness and heartbreak. Amazingly the following year that is exactly what I experienced as I was laying face down on the floor crying as my wife walked out the door, begging her to help me because I had experienced something that led to an undiagnosable psychological condition. Here I was stating the truth and trying to act by seeing myself in everyone else and all I wanted was love. My inability to give the sort of love that Kali needed resulted in me not receiving the love that I so desperately craved.

Besides working fulltime, as her mother demanded and trying to balance a household and my cultural obligations while still being devoted to understanding Kundalini I didn’t have much time for Kali. I know that within the western culture we are obliged (through debt) to work too many hours. This results in living within a culture that is not conducive or harmonious to the existence of monogamous heterosexual relationships because there is not enough energy or time to be able to connect and relate at home. With a total lack of time, Kali and I failed to ever discuss the short-term future or anything to do with us. Kali was also too busy to try and appreciate or understand how significant Kundalini is.

There were many incidences that distanced me from my wife, sometimes they may have appeared antagonistic from a limited physical perspective but I still feel that I acted appropriately according to my understanding. At times I did compromise my own integrity and myself and I realise this was a mistake. I’m not saying compromise is not necessary for a harmonious relationships as it is an essential component but it is futile when one person compromises and the other doesn’t.

Some of the distancing situations included the following; When Kali told me to give up marijuana to make her happy I was fully aware that me altering my behavioural patterns to suit her value and belief structure would not lead to happiness for her. When she asked me to do this I smoked more marijuana and advised her to make herself happy. When Kali told me not to talk about Kundalini in public to her friends I respected her desire. After appreciating the extent of the current day yogic phenomena that is happening universally I started to talk a little bit about yoga when I socialise with her friends. They were much more accepting of yoga than Kundalini.

239What On Earth Is Kundalini?When Kali asked me to stop wearing my favourite hat (yes the

one that I bought in the USA in 1997 with my dog’s name Astro on it) I thought she was joking but unfortunately the appearance did not sit well with her values. I looked for another hat but not many were suitable and none sat so close to my heart.

When Kali told me she did not like my orange and black jumper that Stephanie’s father (one of the most honourable men that I have ever known) gave me with his entire love ten years prior I was gutted. I was amazed at the synchronicity and coordination of the all-pervading life force to put Iron Mike at Cheryl’s one night while I was wearing the same jumper. Iron Mike told me that he had a jumper just like the one I was wearing. I asked him if he wanted to sell it as it was one of my favourite jumpers and it was in my favourite colour. He agreed and I bought it off of him. It was thicker and warmer than the one I already had and once again it was given to me with love.

I certainly distanced Kali from me on the occasions that I stood up to her parents or asked them about their treatment of me.

When I was dressed in black with a black skullcap on Kali told me that I looked like a thief and I should not go out in public. I said, “What exactly does a thief look like?” She replied, “You.” I said, “That’s incorrect, because the best thief you wouldn’t recognise until he or she was driving down the road with all your belongings or all your money and it was too late.”

Over a period of two years I pushed her away from me and onto Phil. I only ever wanted her to reassure me by setting Phil straight but unfortunately Kali never chose to do this. When I sold Phil out to his girlfriend for hitting on Kali I was the one who got into trouble. It was never appreciated as Phil being sly or dishonourable. As Kali’s connection to Phil grew through constant interaction when I was not present it was inevitable that my questions relating to the subject would be answered in a defensive way.

Kali had no desire to move out to the country and build a Kundalini Research Centre and when my neighbour was acting obnoxiously I told her so, with a few swear words added in and Kali as a witness never really appreciated this side of me.

The two major factors that ultimately pushed Kali away were my impatience and complacency. I am much more aware of these now as


they have been brought to my conscious attention. I was also bored living the mundane cycle dictated by economics and consumerism so I chose drug abuse as my form of escapism.

Up until the time Kali left me I had not smoked marijuana for some time. When she left me I was living in the house that I had anticipated we would be together in for some time. When she deserted me (as I did her the year before) I was left to exist as a shell of my former self within an empty house that felt hollow and empty like myself. Between the time of Kali leaving me and me moving out to purchase a house I returned to the habit of smoking copious amounts of marijuana and at times I had to force myself to eat at least two meals a day purely because I did not have any appetite.

Relating to my failed marriage I realise that my marriage proposal was unwise within the first year of getting together as it is biologically programmed to include lust and the release of chemical endorphins within the body, which often clouds or inhibits true perception. I got married without understanding and integrating my Kundalini awakening. Kali initially thought she might have wanted to go where I was going in my life but she decided against it. I know that I was honourable to my marriage vows but it still makes me very sad and lonely. What I was doing to please Kali was my opinion of what would please her and not through a clear understanding of communication or appreciation of her. The same happened the other way because clearly what Kali thought was pleasing me in the way of physical presents came nowhere near it due to my lack of interest in the physical dimension. Ironically I was just coming to terms with integrating my Kundalini awakening into a fuller and deeper understanding, which made me able to function in society stably with a changed awareness. I am extremely happy that I married her but I am sad that she married me. However, I do realise she was in my life for a purpose and for this reason I am eternally thankful and grateful.

I realise that accepting nineteen out of the twenty specified attributes on my dream woman list was unwise and even though I did not want to be greedy I ironically chose to not put much emphasis on the star sign but then consequently experienced the unforgiveness of a Leo.

241What On Earth Is Kundalini?I can appreciate the dynamics of my relationship with Kali a lot

more now that I am no longer with her. I see that I lifted her up after Phil’s initial rejection upon her return from overseas but unfortunately this bordered on co-dependence and became more evident when I was not there to lift her up, she could not rely on herself. Even though Kali was unconscious of this, my life and behaviour was constantly viewed according to her value and belief structure that had been formulated from her upbringing and understanding. Kali’s feelings towards me would be relevant to my behaviour and attitude rather than unconditionally loving and accepting. This is common throughout the western culture and is often the cause of disharmony and separation. The saddest thing to come to terms with is the fact that my wife never loved me unconditionally and unfortunately chose not to stand by and help but leave. I greatly respect her choice to leave as ultimately everyone has to make the right choice for themselves no matter what their understanding.

MY DRUG ADDICTIONThere were many reasons contributing to my addictive

behavioural pattern relating to the inhalation of marijuana. I had been smoking Ganja since 1987 and the times of emotional flatness or lack of love coincided with those times where drug inhalation was excessive. I feel that the habit (as does any method of escapism) was mainly to do with a lack of self-worth that resulted from my own feeling of inadequacy.

I realise and appreciate that the difference in my expression and me is extreme between the two states of sober and stoned. When sober I have excessive amounts of energy, which is often expressed in an imbalanced extroverted way. Everything is a lot more colourful and my perception and awareness is enhanced dramatically but along with this I often have outbursts that state the truth, hypocrisies and double standards wherever experienced. When habitually smoking the chronic gear I tend to tone down and introvert which inhibits the energy and minimises my imbalanced vatta (excessive movement) tendencies. At times I felt a need to inhibit the subtle perception that was naturally occurring within me. Since I was working fulltime I did


not have any choice but to slow my mind down (just like psychotics on Valium) to exist on an everyday level. It was unconscious self-regulation in a very unhealthy physical way.

People try to tell me that it is unhealthy for my body, my mind and my pocket and I strongly agree with them but fortunately I am unlike the majority of this culture because I do look forward to death. Could it be that I am trying to pre-empt death through this negative habit? Sure I don’t want to bring it on prematurely but it doesn’t phase me. I smoked excessive amounts of marijuana to pass the time when I was bored with the everyday habitual living within suburbia. The loneliness I was experiencing both mentally and emotionally were extreme so I wanted to both escape from other people and myself. While I was working fulltime what I was passionate about, was not getting any attention and my lack of fulfilment was evident in my addictive behaviour.

Besides all of these facts there are two things that I am not too sure about. The first being I think that marijuana may become the next alcohol, except for the fact that it grows naturally and under current legislation cannot be taxed to excess. Secondly I am not too sure whether I was a Sadhu or a Naga Baba in a previous life and that subtle impression has been passed on within my consciousness. I now realise that the most important aspect of life is consciousness and not the physical body. The underlying, non-changing all-pervading life force loves me unconditionally no matter what I do. It’s there for me to provide life and my free will comes into it when I choose to either flow with the innate properties of this life force or flow against it.


CHAPTER 4

THIS CULTUREI have two hypothetical situations presented first person style.Lets just say I was a mean person with a lot of anger and a limited interpretation of my self-identity, not knowing that all life is intimately connected and every human being on the planet is a reflection of me, and I walked into Kirribilli House in Sydney with a big machine gun and killed the Prime Minister of Australia, raped his wife and kept her as a sex slave and by force made his children my slaves. Would this give me the right to ownership of the house and the land upon which it sits? If the answer were yes then when judgement day does occur for me following death in this mortal frame I would have some serious repercussions to experience. Obviously the answer is no I would not have ownership and the right to enforce law on the property. In this case and living in this culture I think to myself, “Have human rights changed that dramatically over the last two hundred and fifty years?”

Hypothetically speaking say I was really greedy and owned the banks, supermarkets, soft drink companies, takeaway restaurants, confectionary companies, cigarette companies, gambling enterprises, many churches, the petroleum and oil companies, the computer companies, the pharmaceutical companies, the media and anything else that provides the substances of addiction to human beings. Initially for me to be able to achieve this I “colonised” (invaded)

244 What On Earth Is Kundalini?a foreign country where indigenous people harmoniously lived with their environment. Because of my narrow mindedness and limited understanding of the law of evolution that underlies all of the manifest realm I see the indigenous people through a limited understanding and see them functioning on a less intellectual level so I see myself as being better than them.

I utilise the natives as well as convicts and slaves to do the physical labour for me as I build numerous amounts of buildings to create an infrastructure that empowers me and the people that I like. I utilise the labourers to produce goods that I can sell either within my own country or to other countries, which allows me to become financially rich. Because of this money I set up many corporations (that have been listed above) and through the “laws” that I develop I bind the majority of people to a situation where the basic requirements for existence can only be obtained financially. My greed doesn’t stop there, as I want to accumulate more and more. Once I am in a financially dominant position I can lend many countries my money, which binds them to be indebted to me. Being in such an influential position I associate with like-minded people and further enhance my power by seeking out and maintaining positions within governmental bodies. Since we are only talking hypothetically, if the planet and all life forms were created by the life force to interact on a financial level then I would have achieved the goal of life and be extremely happy. Since my body is a manifestation and representation of my mind then I would be a picture of bliss with hardly any wrinkles on my face and more inclined to rest it in a smiling position but these thoughts are merely hypothetical.

An English lady once said to me, “I’ll have you know you have a lot to thank the English culture for. Look at the lifestyle that they have provided for you.” I replied, “Fuck that! I would rather be dead

245What On Earth Is Kundalini?and let the aborigines live in harmony with their environment as they did before white settlement destroyed half this country.” I then said, “The white race is responsible for more destruction in the last one hundred years of existence than the whole time humans have been on the planet. Not only are they unwilling to respect and live with their fellow humans they have created such devastation on the planet that the environment is at a critically viable point which is in dire need of the realisation by humans that the current situation is a reflection of a very limited, physically interpreted way of life.”

I can fully respect the mentality of the post war generation baby boomers as they were conditioned to build and stabilise cultures throughout the planet. The infrastructures are now in place and physically we do not have to go any further. I also see that through this limited interpretation of life there are still extremely inhumane events happening in the name of white supremacy. This is sad because my two best friends, Herman and Johnny are of Lebanese and Croatian descent respectively. They are as Australian as anyone I know. I have worked in many places and through personal experience I have appreciated that most people that are not of this supreme white race are more humane and self-reflective in all of their interactions. The selfishness of the white race is developed in seeking instant gratification through sensual pleasure. I understand that the level of awareness has become very physically oriented which has distanced us from the life force and created separation through selfishness. Perhaps the multiculturalism within Australia will not be banished and many of the so-called foreigners will be leaders within the culture in the future.

As far as foreigners go I guess I am one just as much as anyone else because some of my family (my father’s side) arrived in Australia around the 1800’s and the other half (my mother’s side) is influenced by Spanish, Welsh, Italian and English impressions that came to Australia with my mother and her family in the 1960’s. As far as ownership of the country goes realistically it belongs to the aboriginals (and other indigenous cultures throughout the world), if ownership of anything is ever possible. The indigenous cultures fully realise that they are transitory on the planet and must care for it in a way that is mutually beneficial and rewarding to all forms of

246 What On Earth Is Kundalini?life. I see this attitude created by their innate understanding and ability to flow with the law of evolution, which is perpetuated by the underlying creative life force.

There are two “groups” formed as a result of the domination of power that started off physical and has moved into financial.

The group that I am in is able to buy most of the property close to water and major cities and during this interaction we are likely to get a decent deal because after invading the countries the governments that were formed are able to give away lots of land to family members and “people of influence and status” this group does not have to labour for say eight hours per day as they are smart enough to employ someone else to work that hard.

The other group of people that I also belong to (but do not know) is under much financial burden and intense amounts of pressure to maintain a livelihood. I know the other group does not appreciate this side of life, as there is a big chance they have never experienced it. Here this group is struggling to “pay” for an education, an average house (in the suburbs – far from water and amenities) food and other addictive substances. While living as a part of this group I am forced to compromise my own integrity by working full time in a job that is not aligned with my innate constitution neither is it harmonised with my own individual psychological and emotional predisposition.

I have grown up struggling to gain an education so there is a tendency to be apathetic towards it and this lack of education is quite clearly displayed during my life.

Most of the food I invest in is unhealthy, old and processed, as well as being second grade because the top quality products have become unaffordable.

I want to be happy but unfortunately I have been conditioned and manipulated by these corporations that are economically focused. I realise that the corporations and many other people functioning with the “profitable business mentality” are responsible for how the community functions. While being part of the second group I feel unjustifiably confused when the business leaders and politicians tell me they are working for the benefit of everyone. I see that they are trying to provide a decent lifestyle for the majority of people but I am sure they do not

247What On Earth Is Kundalini?realise how much time out of my life it takes to live within the cycle of consumerism and conformity that they have created.

In the twentieth century there have been many wars, many in the name of religion or economically driven. Following the second world war that ended in 1945 the economic growth within certain cultures flourished while they convinced the general population that the cycle of consumerism would help assist in the rebuilding and unification of their country. This mentality is still extremely big within the western culture but as the generation of people born in the late forties and fifties start to retire the world will be a better place.

I sit back, while living in this second group and realise that not only have these dominant people infiltrated all realms of human life but after losing some of the wars that were intended as a ploy of domination and control they chose to invade most peoples homes with television. This way the manipulation is performed on a way more subtle level. With the onslaught of television and the emphasis on consumerism there was initially a good balance between the purchaser receiving a product of good quality while receiving excellent service and being quite content to pay adequately for it. The products were initially locally made and the smaller businesses were owned locally.

As the first group grew stronger and stronger they were able to buy more and more businesses and while being blind to the possibility of mutually beneficial interactions, the focus had become predominately based on profit at the expense of service. Most of the products have become poor quality and often unrepairable and more easily replaced. This has introduced discontentment into the lives of many and appreciation of the futility of excessive consumerism has become apparent. I have also realised that during the corporation’s reign of power they have continued to dehumanise the majority of people. The products and the lifestyle that have been supplied and created do not even consider the evolutionary process and the structure of the human body that is an end result of bipedal terrestrial activity.

Within the consumer culture I have grown awareness that my senses have been conditioned for specific purposes. My eyes are


utilised to look at special effects, bright colours and / or physical beauty. My hearing is utilised to see advertisements that either have catchy tunes or approximately seventy-six beats per minute rather than hear waterfalls and chirping birds because they no longer exist (not in the cities anyway, without really looking for them). My nose is utilised to pick out sweet fragrances often in the form of expensive perfume or takeaway restaurants. My skin and the ability to touch has become outlawed because genuine intimacy is a thing of the past and now intimacy is sought after through sexual exploitation. My ability to taste has not only been deadened by the abuse of artificial substances, which are addictive in nature and supplied by major companies, it has been conditioned to focus towards sweet and salty flavours at the expense of the four other sensations possible through the tongue.

Eventually the futility of this sort of lifestyle becomes too much to bear so I either rob someone, lose myself in addictive and abusive behavioural patterns for prolonged periods or I commit suicide. Ironically I inevitably interact with certain forms of media and they are prone to telling me what more I should buy to make my life happy. I notice politicians and people with lots of money telling me that this lifestyle is fantastic and it is great to live in a free country. I wonder to myself whether it really is a free country because apart from the intimate relationship I have with my soul and the all-pervading life force and the air that I breath I cannot remember the last time that I received something for free.

SELF-IDENTITY / THE EGO What exactly is self-identity? I guess it must be how I identify with myself. This is related to the ahamkara aspect of the mind that has already been discussed earlier in this book.

During interactions with many people I have been told, “That’s just the ego talking.” This is my comment to them. The ego is a part of my mind that I utilise to identify with my self. The self being how one relates to who they are. Prior to the experience in July 1998 I related who I was to many things that were external to my body and were more environmental aspects of my life rather than personal. For

249What On Earth Is Kundalini?a brief description of me I would say, “I am a reasonably laid back person, live in Kingswood, work as a radiographer, have a girlfriend and have an innate desire to be happy.” In reality none of these things are me but they are aspects of my life that I relate to. These aspects and many more are things attached to me that form my personality.

What is below the personality and functions within me as the true self? If I maintain this external interpretation of self-identification then there is a big chance that fluctuations will occur relative to whether what I identify with is threatened or commended. If my son gets good grades at school or performs well in some aspect in his life, because of my strong association with him as a part of me I feel happy. Unfortunately if he is condemned I am saddened. If my wife is attracted to another person then I feel threatened, as part of what I identify my happiness and self with is not maintaining the relationship with me that I perceive it to. If someone tries to take one of the aspects outside of me, that I relate to as a part of me then inevitably I will feel threatened or jealous, which may result in defensiveness. I fully understand and appreciate that without a personality or substances in my environment that I can relate to, individuality would not be possible. This is inevitable because every time I open my eyes in the morning I am prone to experience and for experience to occur, duality must exist.

During the time that I function in the realm of physical manifestation I am inevitably going to experience things. As these experiences happen I will be forced to form a value and belief structure. The value and belief structure will be associated with the knowledge part of life.

My life will work in one of two ways, I will gain knowledge about something and then have the experience or I will have the experience and gain knowledge from it. The chance that my life flows harmoniously is closely associated with the delicate balance of these two aspects in my life. When I went fishing with my dad he suggested that I use prawns as bait because the fish we were trying to catch were more likely to eat prawns than anything else. I put a prawn on the hook, threw it into the water and caught a fish. I had the experience that was the end result of knowledge. We spent an hour or so fishing and caught several fish. Unfortunately when my dad first went fishing he tried many types of bait and didn’t catch


anything. Upon returning to the fishing place he tried prawns on the hook and the fish were caught straight away. My dad took the long route and he gained the knowledge through the experience. This is but one of many examples of how knowledge and experience is relevant in ones life.

Another example is the traditional yogic path, which provides the knowledge that leads to experiences. There is a delicate balance between knowledge and experience throughout all stages of the path, while leading towards the goal. The goal of yoga is to awaken the Kundalini. I had a Kundalini awakening in the form of the experience but because I did not have the knowledge or understanding I have spent a minimum of five years trying to gain the knowledge. Amazingly, contentment has resulted as the equation has been balanced. With reference to the value and belief structure everything in life can inevitably be related to it.

Another quick example may be that I believe if I am thirsty and I need a drink I grab a glass and go to the tap to fill it up. When I drink it, it quenches my thirst and confirms my belief. What I value in life must vary according to my upbringing and understanding. If I was materialistically minded I would see expensive items as being more valuable, if I was in a third world country I may value fresh water and if I was on Mount Everest I may value oxygen and heat. No matter what the individual situation is for each person it is clearly inevitable that while functioning in the realm of experience, values and beliefs are necessary. The value and belief structure is a more subtle part of what forms a personality. It is another layer of being that clouds people’s perception of their true nature.

Being a remnant of the post war generation I fully respect and appreciate the traditional mentality that comes with it. I do have to wonder about the truthfulness in the documentation of historical events since it appears to be enforced and literally one sided. I am not too sure that the desecration of most other spiritual faiths is evident in our history books or not but it is clearly evident within other cultures. I see this as a product and end result of people interpreting their value and belief structure as better than someone else’s.

With this limited understanding there is a tendency to enforce your own value and beliefs onto someone else so that they conform

251What On Earth Is Kundalini?to the lifestyle you think is best. In this way the true communication process has suffered and unfortunately become a form of recognition rather than true communication based on understanding through open-mindedness.

Has anyone ever noticed that when people communicate within the western culture it is more or less to do with the confirmation of one persons reality and it has to do with the other person agreeing to whether they are correct or not. On a rough estimate I would say that approximately eighty-five percent of verbal interactions are on this level and ultimately provide very little for self-development and personal growth.

Some examples of the futility of communication may include the fact that the majority of people do not hear you out and already have their gun cocked ready to verbalise a response before you even finish the sentence. Somehow they have picked up on a small portion of the interaction at the start and have jumped ahead to respond without a full understanding of what to respond to. This is where communication becomes recognition.

The other downfall with current day communication is the emphasis on confirmation of reality. Say for instance I say to my best mate, “It’s a cold day, isn’t it?” He will probably say yes or no relative to his body temperature but ultimately I am seeking him to agree with me. If he doesn’t agree I will go on to express another innate characteristic within the limited human framework, that being the enforcement of my own value and beliefs.

IS THE LAW JUST?Quite honestly no, but many people would beg to differ. Since I was married to a lawyer and had to interact with them on regular occasions I can tell you straight up that most of the lawyers I interacted with were functioning on perhaps five to ten percent of their brain while perceiving less than half of the five levels of manifestation, strongly influenced by impressions within their mind that force them to form a value and belief structure. Not only that, but they have a limited interpretation and relationship with their personality and true nature. The majority of them were trying to be


the best they could in their positions but functioning from this level it is inevitably going to be limited. I understand that the law was initially interpreted to be man’s enforcement of the divine laws.

Unfortunately since this culture is dominated and manipulated by companies with lots of financial resources there is a tendency for the law and aspects within it to be altered and influenced by money. Underlying all of creation there is an intelligence that functions perfectly and all knowingly and amazingly it is capable of dishing out karmic repercussions with precision. Ironically the law cannot be enforced relative to the innate divine nature that perpetuates life because this so called intelligent culture is oblivious to it. So not only is the law a product of the government that is trying to enforce righteousness and eliminate grief, the law and the government are causes of grief.

THE CAUSES OF GRIEF As far as I understand it there are four main courses of grief in one’s life.

First of all, the inability to appreciate a rigid adherence to ones own value and belief structure. This creates a separation of right and wrong, incorrect and correct which results in domination or subservience. If people are to even hope that maybe one day the race will live in harmony then adherence to values and beliefs and enforcement of these upon someone else would not be possible.

Secondly, the incorrect identification with ones true nature is bound to cause grief. For instance say I was a young attractive female who spent much of my younger years in Hollywood performing in front of cameras, while being fussed about all because of my physical appearance. What happens to my mental state when that physical appearance starts to diminish due to chronological age and a strenuous life? I either resort to artificial manipulation in the form of plastic surgery to enhance my looks in a feeble attempt to remain attractive, or I leave my husband to prove to myself that I am still attractive to the younger generation so I hook up with someone ten or fifteen years my junior or I have a mental breakdown. If I related to my soul and the intimate connection it has with the all-pervading life force then contentment would be evident in all aspects of my life and ironically I would appear younger than others of equal chronological age.

253What On Earth Is Kundalini?Thirdly the materialistic futility creates immeasurable amounts of grief

in many people’s lives. The whole overemphasis on physical accumulation and consumerism is bound to lead to discontentment. As soon as I associate myself with the things around me I am setting myself up to be hurt. Anyway, I have discovered that utilisation of the material things to enhance my happiness is only short lived. I do realise that this short lived happiness that is based on instant gratification is overemphasised in the media and advertising campaigns because consumption of transitory things in my life is what the corporations thrive on. Realistically if I am not happy before the acquisition of the material possession there is a big chance that I will only act happy for a short time after acquiring it then soon afterwards it will seem like it was never there. Unfortunately people within this culture have become so unconsciously conditioned into the consumer cycle that they do not realise what they seek is contentment through instant gratification and sensual pleasures. The disposable mentality has become so evident that if things in life require effort and cannot be achieved conveniently the integrity required in maintaining effort while seeking the desired outcome is often not there. Not only is this clearly displayed through actions and behaviours on a physical level but when integrity and effort is to be sustained when functioning through the more subtle aspects of the self (mind and emotions) it becomes extremely difficult due to the lack of persistence and excessive cravings and desires that the human race has become prone to.

Fourthly, fanaticism will cause grief in many people’s lives. Fanaticism is the expression of attitudes relating to partial knowledge. Say for instance that I wanted to be a vegetarian because I did not want to kill anything. I went so far as to not eat cheese, eggs or any animal product in order to enhance the life of other forms. Unfortunately due to the overemphasis on my diet I do not realise or come to terms with the fact that my Volkswagen Kombi van pumps out serious amounts of o-zone depleting emissions and while driving down the street I kill mosquitos on the windscreen after walking over ants to get to my car. Not only is fanaticism evident in spiritual / religious contexts, it is evident in most places. It’s like the government overemphasising the fact that sixty-six percent of Australians are paying off a mortgage without taking into account that the majority of people paying off a mortgage


are discontent in their job, have relationships that are breaking down, are financially stretched to their limit at the expense of leisure activities or relaxation or are overburdened by debt.

While living in a country that is run by individuals who have not awakened their Kundalini and realised, through direct experience that there is an all-pervading life force that interconnects all of creation on a very intimate level, the mentality of being separate from this divine life force will be evident in their actions and policies. With the government acting on behalf of me, I find it hard to swallow when they are suckered into a war because of debts to their allies. Here is a body that is influenced greatly by finances, post war generation mentality and a limited understanding of life and the human’s true nature that can’t even solve poverty or provide for all of it’s people but persists on telling us that the life that they are providing is good and it is a free country.

THE SAVIOURS“We could solve most of the problems in the world by tomorrow, all we have to do is love everyone.”

The universal yogic phenomena will be what solves many current dilemmas and provides an opportunity to allow the human race to save itself from self-extinction. Not only was yoga the discipline practiced on the planet by the original race but it is a set of techniques that are provided to humanity that allow people to participate consciously in their evolutionary cycle in order to experience spiritual illumination, enlightenment or being reborn.

The yogic path is non-religious and encourages regular practice of the techniques, while individuals participate in their own spiritual disciplines. Double the amount of people are doing yoga today in America than five years ago and this trend is being followed in Australia. People are looking away from the consumer cycle and realise the futility in materialistic acquisitions so to balance their life yoga is the prime candidate.

The human race is not prepared to experience the goal of human existence at this stage. The evolution of consciousness within the race on a collective level is moving into the fourth dimension, that

255What On Earth Is Kundalini?being the heart chakra. With all the destruction in the world at present it will not be long before humans realise that the whole human race is connected and each individual is a reflection of themselves and start acting appropriately. This is where the return of the Christ consciousness occurs. Since Christ was the incarnation of unconditional love he encouraged the two levels of understanding, one being to love the all-pervading life force (Goddess) with your mind, body and soul and treat your neighbour as yourself.

There is another understanding that throughout the planet the mother Goddess Isis is uniting the seven religions. Isis is the divine mother and in the Egyptian stories she is responsible for travelling a long distance to collect the seven parts of her dead husband, Osiris. She collects them and brings them together so that he is brought back to oneness. There is also a transition at the moment within the minds of many that is leaning towards worship of a feminine Goddess head rather than the masculine. I believe that Isis functions on a much more subtle level than the corporations so I am the eternal optimist.


CHAPTER 5WHAT I THINK

This chapter is the interesting one because it is where I throw a challenge out to any scholar on the planet to disprove the content within this book.

I know that the theories, knowledge and wisdom gained from my own personal experiences will not be able to be disproved and I would not enter into any discussions about the truth of the matter unless the scholar can prove to me that they have experienced spiritual illumination through a systematic process (equivalent to the eight limbs of yoga) that resulted in the awakening of Kundalini within their body.

In this life I have been blessed to have a predisposition of intelligence. Because of this innate intelligence I have been prone to thinking excessively. I used to be told that I thought too much but I now realise that perhaps I was hanging around people that did not think enough. I have nothing personal against these people because as humans they have their own predispositions. As well as being blessed with intelligence I have been overwhelmed with emotional sensitivity. All of my life I have been sensitive to other people’s comments, needs and expectations and I have tried to conform to social regularities in the process. I have also sought female partners in the hope that I would receive the much-craved love that I desired.

Unfortunately due to the karma I brought into this life with me I have had to endure serious emotional ups and downs in order to

257What On Earth Is Kundalini?discover the love of Life and the Goddess Isis. I realise now that I have always been looking in the wrong place for love and an external source in the physical dimension would never be adequate. I have grown to realise that in this culture love is associated with lust, co-dependency and sexual exploitation rather than unconditional love, total acceptance and assistance on the path of personal growth and development. With money being the focus of the current culture, relationships are often associated with the formation of a financially viable partnership that can succeed or at least survive in this dog eat dog world.

With this intense mix of sensitivity and intelligence I have had some serious fluctuations within my mind created from everyday experience. From several experiences, especially those to do with the emotional trauma caused by separation from a relationship I have tried to sort knowledge by working things out alone. Ironically, thinking about things led to another experience of which not many people on the planet can relate to. Fortunately I was totally blessed to be able to document this experience in my first book “Why the Astros?”

Firstly I will point out and revise some very significant facts about myself. I was born at 10.55 am in the suburb of Bankstown, Sydney, New South Wales, Australia under the astrological sign and energetic influences of Aquarius. I was educated at many schools. These being situated in the suburbs of Granville, Penrith, St Clair, Oxley Park and St Marys. Education and the required top grades came relatively easily for me, fortunately requiring minimal effort. Nearing completion of my secondary studies I was tutored in physics to better grow an appreciation for the energetic level of being.

Six months before completing my secondary education I fell in love for the first time and became involved in a wonderful family for the duration of five years. I look back now and realise that I was destined to interact with this family because they saved me from the life the culture was guiding me into. Out of the seven good friends I had had during my movements six of them went on to become drug dealers and or thieves. I myself was a very good thief (due to my innate intelligence) and I opted for drug addiction, which was associated with a lack of self-worth and poor self-esteem (due to my emotional sensitivity). Just as


I was being guided deeper into a life of drugs I fell in love with Stephanie and spent most of my time with her between the years of seventeen and twenty-one. Stephanie’s family were extremely influential in guiding me into a profession while focussing my energies and because of this I am eternally grateful to them. While being involved with this beautiful family I completed my tertiary studies and worked full time shift work for eighteen months before discontinuing my interactions with them.

From the time I was twenty-one through to twenty-six I was into experiencing life in many ways. I did have a partner for three years in this period so sexual promiscuity for me was not part of the equation and even though my drug addiction involved marijuana I was never prone to trying any of the white chemical powder drugs. The main reason being, I always thought to myself “What if I like it?” I knew that with an addictive mentality that had been predominately induced by a manipulative culture I would be bound for destruction if I was to delve into a life pattern involving drugs where I could not maintain my livelihood and lifestyle. Now at the age of thirty-one I realise that my karmic destiny was inevitable and the coincidences, if you would like to call them that are phenomenal.

I have travelled to Australian capital cities including Perth, Adelaide, Melbourne, Hobart, Sydney and Brisbane. Countries including Vanuatu, New Caledonia, Isle of Pines, Canada, North America, England, Wales, Greece, France, Italy, Belgium, The Netherlands, Liechtenstein, Germany, Austria, Switzerland, New Zealand, India, Nepal and Barbados.

I have lived in houses that had addresses that included the following numbers eleven, seventeen, seven, seventy-seven and twenty-seven which all seem symbolic in some way.

I have been employed as a milkman, glazier, shop assistant, kitchen hand, chicken processor, wood worker, painter, radiographer, masseur and horseback tour guide.

I have interacted and talked to doctors, lawyers, bureaucrats, politicians, top management, middle management, mismanagement, cleaners, labourers, yogis, sages, sadhus, stable everyday people and psychotics.

259What On Earth Is Kundalini?I have grown an appreciation of the tendency within me that

is related to vatta (movement) and respect it. I have been prone to non-accumulation of annual leave which has allowed me to take my holidays whenever possible and subsequently resulted in exposure to many things. With reference to my behavioural patterns and several events in my life I realise that I am now aligned with the purpose I came to the planet for. I know that everyone has their own unique agenda in the realm of manifested experience and I am one of the few blessed enough to be given the opportunity to live mine out. Being born under the astrological sign of Aquarius I am categorised as an air sign. My parents are beautiful people and extremely unconditionally loving and have been nothing but generous towards my brother Ram and myself during our lives. Coincidently one is a Libra and the other a Gemini, of which both are air signs.

My favourite musical group is The Angels, I lean towards two brands of clothes, one being Mooks which has a trident as its emblem (coincidently Shiva holds a trident that represents the three gunas or attributes of being) and two being Simple and their motto is “study reality.” I have a pair of freckles halfway between my navel and sternum and to this day I remember quite vividly saying to someone one day, “look at these freckles, I have been bitten by a snake.”

There have been several events I have experienced physically that have resulted in stimulation of the right side of my brain. Amazingly I received two acute traumas to my nose within the period of one week and apart from these two and a few punches from Ram I cannot remember anytime in my life that I have experienced trauma like it. One day I was playing rugby league in the fullback position when a young man about one and a half times my size was steaming towards me. I stood between him and the try line and my job was to stop him. I tried my best and as I did his elbow came up and connected with my nose. Following the contact he tried to trample over me but fortunately as he did his body got twisted in mine and he did not score the try.

I distinctly remember looking at the two freckles on my stomach situated where I would perceive my Manipura (third chakra) and saying to someone, “This is where the snake bit me.”


I am pretty sure that this incident did not achieve what it was designed to do and within the week I found myself playing a sport within the school hall on the wooden floorboards that were used as the base of the basketball court. I was playing a game similar to volleyball but with a much lower net and when the ball came towards me on one specific occasion I went to punch it and slipped. The full force of my body accentuated by the momentum of the punch propelled me forward so quickly that I did not have time to brace myself and my nose made first contact with the wooden floorboards before the rest of my face and body. Following these two incidences my nasal passages were blocked and subsequently I had to undergo a minor operation to clear the nasal passages. Amazingly it resulted in my left nostril being predominant over my right.

In the year 1993 I was involved in a game of touch rugby league football and when diving for an opponent in an attempt to touch him my hand landed on the ground in a similar position that one would have while shaking hands. Within half a second of my hand landing on the ground, my team mate (Garthus) landed on it after an attempt to touch the same opponent. Garthus was the biggest player on the field and unfortunately or fortunately my hand was destined to feel and experience the full impact of his weight. The trauma fractured the base of my thumb, which required a minor operation and fixation in plaster for a period of six to seven weeks. During this time I was forced to utilise my left hand for many things including writing, eating and all other necessities required for day to day living.

These examples plus many others were leading up to an event that I had been working on for many lifetimes. I saw myself as an everyday person, quite normal in most ways but no matter where I was or what I did or who I was with I always felt as if I did not belong. It was as if I was always separate from everyone else. I found it much easier to feel close to people like Johnny, Herman and Spud in one on one situations rather than in a group.

I had gained the ability of extended concentration through the application of my mind during the preparation for examinations. During high school I had studied several subjects, which prepared

261What On Earth Is Kundalini?me for the three hour-long exams. Each of the exams was relating to one topic only and my ability to concentrate on them was achieved more through necessity than desire. Concentration was also required during my tertiary education years. Unknowingly I was now at the point of tapping into my intuitive mind. I had experienced the physical dimension of life in the form of interaction with it. I had grown an understanding and appreciation for the manifested energetic level through the intense study on physics. I had grown the ability to focus my conscious mind on one subject for extended periods of time.

In late 1997 and early 1998 I experienced the systematic deconstruction of my personality. Over a short period of time the things that I placed happiness on outside of myself were removed. I split up with my girlfriend, misinterpreted the loyalty of my friends, realised that there was no loyalty within the workplace, status was achievable by anyone with a good memory irrespective of whether they were a good person or not and the culture is predominately functioning on a superficial level governed by money.

Soon after these experiences I desired a girlfriend who was Aquarius to either appreciate the compatibility or lack thereof. My next girlfriend was an Aquarius so this got me thinking about the subtle connection of things.

This was the first obvious coincidence in the line of many to come. The coincidences kept coming more and more and soon became so evident that I felt it necessary to document them. To me this symbolises interaction with the part of my mind that functions on the non-physical level. I had tapped into the vijnanamaya kosha and the purchase of a book to document these symbolised my conscious recognition of the interaction with it but also the inevitability of following the signs. These intuitive experiences ultimately came to the point where my mind was focussed on an all-pervading intelligence that has no form and is universal in nature. As the signs became more and more evident I received the unique confirmation that feels much like goose bumps and I have documented it as a “cold chill sensation.” Fortunately this experience is not goose bumps and I am one hundred percent sure it has to do with the high frequency vibrations that are


coming into my DNA. Where goose bumps would be an experience stimulated from the internal relative to the external environment, the sensation that I experience happens relative to my thoughts (internal) and comes from an external source. As the intuitive experiences and subsequent confirmations were becoming more evident in my mind the focus of it was predominately towards the intelligence that coordinated such events. I was then led into questioning what life was about and as a result I participated in intense self-enquiry.

Along with the intense self-enquiry I was also smoking copious amounts of marijuana on a daily basis. The marijuana assisted in decreasing the fluctuations of my conscious mind as well as providing an opportunity to perform the techniques of Nasikagra Drishti and Antar Kubhaka. Nasikagra Dristi being nose tip gazing and Antar Kumbhaka is internal retention of breath. These two techniques are associated with stimulation of the Muladhara chakra and intensifying the pressure within the subtle energy system (pranic system).

Here I was systematically living an everyday life while smoking copious amounts of marijuana decreasing the fluctuations in my mind which resulted in tapping into the intuitive realm of existence and subsequently focus on the intelligence that is all knowing, without form and universal in nature. I focussed my attention towards this intelligence which I saw responsible for perpetuating life and coordinating all activities within it.

It got to a point where I was focussing on this intelligence at the exclusion of all other things. I was not influenced by stimuli coming through my five physical senses and it got to a point where nothing else existed apart from this intelligence. The point came where my focus was so intense on this one thing that I merged with it and there was no differentiation or separateness between it and myself. It was at this point in time that I experienced the spontaneous circular movement within my abdominal region (termed nauli in yogic times), which resulted in a personal experience of the realisation of this intelligence and subsequent feeling of bliss and ecstatic joy. This experience is related and equated to spiritual illumination, nirvalkalpa samadhi, nirvana, shunyata or being born again. From that time on I experienced bliss for at least seven days and fortunately internally it is still evident.

263What On Earth Is Kundalini?Sure, I experienced fluctuations relating to my experiences in

the manifest realm but I now know without a doubt that underlying everything is an energy that does not care what I do and provides me with life through pure bliss. This experience is documented in all spiritual texts as the goal of human existence. I ask myself the big question, that being, “If it is the goal of life then why does this culture not understand it or consciously work towards it?” It is as if we have been manipulated and the wool pulled over our eyes. No wonder why I look forward to dying and being everywhere all at once, fortunately I have worked out my Dharma and I am on this planet for the term of my natural life. I know that many people will ask for scientific proof of such claims, to which I will reply, “Read my three books then if you are still sceptical, seek guidance while practicing yoga for a period of twelve years then I will listen to your opinion.”

Here I am five years after the experience and it is only now that I have acquired enough knowledge to understand and be comfortable discussing it. Ironically I am less likely to openly talk about my personal experiences because of the mental loneliness, misunderstanding and misperception I have experienced. Not only is it difficult enough to verbalise any experience because it has to be formed through mental construction utilising the conscious mind when explained. Anything undergoing this transition obviously loses something in the translation.

I am not implying that I am better than anyone else or trying to prove myself. I am merely stating the facts as I know them and people can decide what they like.

Yoga and the tantric philosophies are all encompassing when relating to the various components of life and the innate constitution of the human being. I fully appreciate that since I am predisposed to intelligence that Jnana Yoga is the path of union for me. There is a common misconception within this culture that yoga involves the necessary requirements of participating in an hour and a half long class per week, which is primarily comprised of fifty to eighty percent of postures, ten to twenty-five percent of breathing techniques and ten to twenty-five percent of meditation. This understanding would


be all well and good if individuals were the same but due to the innate characteristics that are unique for everyone the path of yoga and application of its wisdom and techniques is to be chosen after gaining some understanding of each persons elemental constitution, physical, mental and emotion predispositions and tendencies.

Awakening the Kundalini energy is the goal of yoga and is documented by many of the spiritual masters of the past as the goal of human existence. At the point of awakening it, the individual will encounter a direct experience and realisation of the underlying non-changing reality. This will be experienced relative to their upbringing, their understanding and their own unique personal situation. There is a systematic path that is guaranteed to lead to spiritual illumination and the great Sage Patanjali documented this. During the process a person’s adherence to their value and belief structure would have to be loosened and the identification with themselves and their true nature expanded. At the point of awakening the Kundalini energy a switch is flicked within the psychophysiological components of the human being, which activates certain dormant areas within the brain.

While working towards the goal several dormant areas are activated in preparation for the surge of intense energy. During this time it is quite easy to obtain “supernatural powers.” Supernatural and the term does not sit well with me as I realise “natural” is only a term used in relation to the organic evolution of the brain. Yoga has provided the techniques that can be utilised to speed up ones evolutionary process. As this happens and the supernatural powers are obtained along with extrasensory perception a person is advised not to utilise them for self-gain and empowerment because ultimately karmic repercussions will result. I understand that it is all well and good to be able to manifest things by thought alone and even be able to read peoples thoughts but unless these abilities are utilised for the upliftment of all humanity and subsequently all forms of life the goal has not been reached.

There are many people throughout the planet that are very advanced in their evolutionary cycle but unfortunately lacking the true understanding and appreciation of the interconnectedness of life because they have not experienced the oneness. These clever people

265What On Earth Is Kundalini?that are working for self-gain are interacting on a very subtle level and can actually influence the minds and behavioural patterns of many. That is why, even though I know the knowledge of Kundalini is extremely dangerous and at one time it was the most guarded secret on the planet, however during this crucial time of human existence on the planet Earth it is inevitable that the knowledge comes out.

I personally do not recommend any attempt of awakening the Kundalini energy and I strongly recommend that the yogic techniques be utilised according to each person’s individuality in order to lay down the hard wiring so that the body and nervous system can cope with the surge that will result. It is recommended that each person does not aim or desire for their Kundalini energy to awaken but rather through regular practice and correct discrimination the body mind complex will be prepared adequately and the Kundalini energy will awaken by itself without too much effort. I also understand that within this culture there are many people talking about it and some will be an imbalanced display of a partially awakened Kundalini but this is inevitable. With this cultures mentality and the desire for instant gratification there will be people advertising avatar workshops, self-realisation in six hours, magnetic thought field energy enhancement and many other so-called quick ways to achieve spiritual illumination.

I can guarantee that the majority of these people would not be acting like they are if they had actually awakened their own Kundalini. First of all, you could not charge a standard rate for any workshop because it would be relevant to peoples wages. Secondly, there would be no mention of the individual and their ability to transform people because ultimately everything happens by the grace of the Goddess. In my opinion no matter where you go, whether it be in hospitals, law firms, yoga ashrams or mind body spirit festivals, there are innumerable amounts of people that are functioning with rigid adherence to their value and belief system, influenced by the vrittis and the kleshas, while having a limited understanding of and relationship with their true nature. This is clearly displayed in the hypocrisies and double standards that are evident in the way that they act.

I often interact with people of so-called status whether they are doctors or yoga teachers that have been practicing for thirty years


and experience that somehow they see themselves as more important or better than other people. They interact with me and make the assessment, “how can he experience spiritual illumination, he’s just a pothead from the western suburbs of Sydney”, or the like. Like I said I don’t have to prove myself to anyone and I am looking forward to being unified after I die but in the meantime I can tell you now that the experience of spiritual illumination is available to drug addicts, musicians, thieves, woodcutters, vagrants, social workers, terrorists, doctors and farmers alike.

The Goddess does not differentiate or care what you do because she is everywhere and perpetuates life through pure bliss and being. She is no less available to the English speaking Christian who reads the bible than she is to the Muslim who reads the Koran. It is not so much the concepts and dualistic labels we apply to such notions during the experience of life and rational understanding that is the importance, the importance lies in appreciating the oneness of her love. A full appreciation of this love and bliss can only be made apparent through a direct experience of it. Each person will experience it in their own unique way but the key to life lies in the human vehicle rather than concepts or mental fabrications that are not based on reality.

There are certain anatomical regions that are strongly influenced by the yogic practices but amazingly people that do not practice yoga stimulate these areas. Certain abilities such as clairvoyance, precognition and intuitive understanding are some examples that are displayed within certain humans that have activated certain areas of their brains. The human being is literally manifested energy and if we broke down the atom we would realise that the actual physical atomic mass is less than one percent of its totality. The rest is space and governed by an invisible intelligence. We utilise most of our conscious mind to function within the physical environment and during the meantime there is an intelligence that permeates all of our bodies and is capable of correlating the infinite amount of activities currently happening. While writing this book my blood is flowing, heart is pumping, hair is growing, fingernails are growing, wounds are healing and maintenance is happening, just to mention a few.

267What On Earth Is Kundalini?In the same way the intelligence that is all-pervading throughout

the universe is capable of infinite correlation in reference to providing everyone with their own unique experience brought on by karma as a product of their past actions, thoughts and words. Since the body is clearly a manifestation and representation of electromagnetic radiation, it is bound to have a North and South Pole. The North Pole being situated within the brain termed the brahmarendra in Sanskrit and closely related to the fourth ventricle, the hypothalamic pituitary axis, the diencephalon and the cerebrospinal fluid. The South Pole, termed mooladhara chakra correlates to the pelvocoxagial muscle group, the perennial body, the coccygeal nervous plexus and the movement of the sacrum.

The connection between the North and South Pole is the most important aspect of the human vehicle. It is termed “Vajra Nadi” in Sanskrit. It is closely associated with several subtle channels that are not perceivable to the standard physical apparatus of the human being. It is directly related to the hair like structure evident within the spinal canal running along its central axis. It is the channel within the human vehicle that is responsible for intimacy. This intimacy is expressed either through mystical experience at the North Pole or sexual experience at the South. In a balanced harmonious existence sexual expression occurs in a very balanced way while maintaining awareness of the all-pervading intelligence.

Once the Kundalini energy is awakened intimacy occurs constantly and on all levels of being and sexual expression is just one part of the physical dimension and experience. The Vajra Nadi can be appreciated during sleep because within the male species there is a direct connection of the dream state, rapid eye movement and erections. Clearly evident to me is the fact that while the body and conscious mind are turned off at night the majority of people are prone to experience subtle realms. The standard eight hours sleep is necessary for recuperation of the physical vehicle as well as a balanced existence that provides consciousness to experience the subtle dimensions of being. As one becomes more and more conscious of the subtle dimensions during everyday life, inevitably less sleep is required. During sleep the pineal gland is appreciated as


releasing melatonin, which also relates to sexual activities. Besides these facts the body has an innate ability while awake to produce a meditative state that lasts for any time from thirty seconds up to one minute, every two hours (120 minutes). This is the time that the breath in both nostrils is equal which subsequently balances the right and left brain hemispheres and the parasympathetic aspects of autonomic nervous system.

The significance of the vajra nadi has been known within many cultures and I am left wondering how intelligent our culture really is when the information pertaining to the goal of life is not openly presented. In the Bible, in the book of revelation there are many references to the number seven and also reference to something coming from the east like a lightning bolt. The brahmarendra is often related to as the golden egg and subsequently I have learnt that the fairytale of Jack and the beanstalk is related to the vajra nadi also. Appreciating the fact that many of the witches, alchemists, magicians and spiritualists of the past were forced to adhere to Christian philosophy, they maintained their own truths in fairytales and myths.

The majority of this planet has major dilemmas relating to the vajra nadi. In the western culture we do not consciously participate in mystical experience and intimacy has become way too physically based which has resulted in excessive exploitation of physical beauty. In other cultures there has been a historical precedence encouraging conscious cultivation of mystical experience and unfortunately due to the fact that the techniques have been lost or the people reinterpreting and forming structured values based on their interpretation of spiritual leaders, true mystical experience is now not possible and these cultures display gross repression of sexuality on a physical level as well as overemphasis on mystical experience at the expense of many other aspects in life.

The Kundalini energy functions within everyone but at this point in human existence, consciousness is expressed in a very imbalanced way while people are struggling to express a harmonious and balanced existence while functioning partially on the lower three chakras. Collectively as a race we are moving into the heart chakra and during this time the lower three chakras have to be balanced with conscious

269What On Earth Is Kundalini?awareness of experience and knowledge of these levels. While conscious awareness is enhanced there is also a need for the balance between the parasympathic and sympathetic nervous systems. I feel this can only happen on an individual level relative to the amount of self-discipline and self-regulation each person is capable of.

It is clearly evident to me that many females (unless conditioned excessively by the masculine culture), artists, musicians, prodigies and geniuses are the forerunners and more evolved individuals within the species. They have moved out of the third chakra which is predominately power oriented, while enhancing their creative abilities that are evident as a function of the right brain hemisphere. They may appear imbalanced to the majority of people conditioned to abide by the enforced cultural normalities but it is clearly evident in their behaviour that they appreciate and live according to the interconnectedness of humanity.

As the human race enters this critical period of transformation where we are on the verge of self-extinction thanks to greed and selfishness (which are products of a mentality that does not appreciate the giver of life and is totally separate from it) it is crucial that an understanding of Kundalini and the techniques utilised to balance and awaken it become general knowledge. This period in history has been prophesised for thousands of years and subsequently humans will be witnesses of more destruction on the planet than ever before. This is necessary to move out of the materialistic mentality and into one where an appreciation of the interconnectedness of the human race is possible. Don’t be too sad though because the law of karma is just to everyone, just as interaction with the all-pervading life force does not discriminate.

I understand that the original race on the planet was placed in paradise on the continent known as Atlantis. The civilisation utilised the knowledge of all aspects of creation to live in harmony with the manifest laws of nature. The civilisation existed for many, many years until the consciousness of some individuals fell into the lower chakras. Following this there was a war, which produced a global catastrophe that resulted in floods throughout the planet. The people in tune with the subtle realms and living according to the all-pervading life force built boats because they could foresee


the cataclysm and global upheaval. The amount of water on the planet was intense and the only places on earth that were dry were the highest mountains and these two locations were the Andes in South America and the Tibetan Himalayas. This is where all of the spiritual knowledge remained until the water levels subsided. The remnants of Atlantis are clearly appreciated when looking at the global map and considering the area scattered with islands between the north east coast of Australia and the south west coast of Hawaii. The knowledge from these two races has been infiltrating the current culture since the time the planet entered the Age of Aquarius in reference to astronomical location. In the last two hundred years many of the great spiritual masters from these areas have known their purpose on the planet and have fulfilled their dharma (underlying reason for existence) by travelling and spreading the knowledge.

I fully appreciate that all of the spiritual masters have not endorsed one religion and have implied that people will interact with the all-pervading blissful intelligence in their own unique way. These people have awakened their Kundalini and experienced the oneness that permeates all being. Unfortunately religions have been built around the examples that these individuals set, by people/disciples that were not self-realised. The religious leaders have acquired knowledge (perhaps a little bit or perhaps a lot) without necessarily having the experience. This is where the reinterpretation of someone else’s experience fails. The expression of their example is tainted by individuals functioning through a limited understanding and relationship of their true nature while adhering strictly to their own values and beliefs, where the concepts of right and wrong are formulated. Also these individuals are intensely influenced by the kleshas and the vrittis.

I can guarantee that once self-realisation is experienced and the interconnectedness of all being is appreciated, all behaviour will be honest and truthful (yes even in the governments) and the only judge required for such interactions will be someone listening to the beat of their own heart. It’s that simple, because everyone knows and feels that while living according to the law of nature and being one with it, the heart beats harmoniously. On the contrary when a person is unjustifiably taking something from themselves (anything or

271What On Earth Is Kundalini?anyone) there is an innate body intelligence that makes the heart beat louder and the thumping of it is evident throughout the whole body especially in the ears. I should know because I used to be a great thief but now I cannot steal anything. I am now into self-disempowerment by giving selflessly rather than self-empowerment.

Needless to say, many people will shake their heads and ask how I know such information. My reply will be, “I don’t know how I know, I just know.” Since 8.25am on the 12th of July 1998 I have experienced something called Samyana, which is the ability to go into instant meditative states. During this time I have been prone to extremely subtle perception that I feel is entering my body via the high frequency vibrations received through my DNA. I am blessed to be predisposed to intelligence and subsequently prone to continual thought. Therefore I receive confirmation through a direct experience associated with the truth as I know it.

The other experience that has totally freaked me out is the ability for my thoughts to manifest in the physical realm. I feel that this happens a different way and is to do with the high frequency vibrations being transmitted out of my DNA and interacting with the underlying all-pervading etheric substance. It is quite possible for people to be able to manifest their thoughts before achieving the goal of human existence (Self-realisation), as this is a highly evolved human capability. Fortunately for me I was lucky enough to bypass most of the Siddhis that allow human beings to manipulate subtle realms.

There are two ways of manipulating the subtle realms and they are both reflective of ones understanding and current state of mind.

Just as there are two states of mind and they function on two levels of perception there are two ways to live life. The first state of mind functions through the superficial mind (manamaya kosha) and deals with the physically manifest environment while being separate from everything and utilising one’s own resource for self-empowerment and self-gain. The other state of mind functions through the deep mind (vijnanamaya kosha) which functions on the level of non-physical perception and occurs during the natural or induced meditative states where there is no separation from anything, which ultimately leads one to act in a way that all life is


appreciated as being interconnected. With reference to these two states of mind the four aspects of mind are understood differently, as explained in the start of this book.

The next big scientific discovery will be the significance of the capabilities of the DNA to be a transmitter and receiver of high frequency vibrations. Subsequently this will lead to a much deeper appreciation of the interconnectedness of all being. Most humans have experienced intuitive flashes of one type or another, whether they are thinkers, visualisers or listeners. Most of the time the superficial mind will counteract and sabotage the intuition until it comes around next time. If the intuitive flashes are not acted upon, life has an incredible ability to allow events in one’s life to occur that bring the relevant situation into the conscious mind. At this stage if it is not dealt with consciously, life will continue to produce events and situations that allow each person to learn the relevant lesson needed. If appropriate action is not taken and the knowledge not obtained, life will continue its amazing process to actually manifest the situation physically, which then makes dealing with the specific situation inevitable. From the understanding that I have gained I now appreciate that all events in one’s life are unconsciously motived by an intelligence that is much greater than the human mind, even if I struggle to come to terms with it.

The way I understand it is that at the time of conception my dad’s sperm entered my mother’s ova to form one single DNA structure that was the initial physical component of me and consisted of forty-six chromosomes. This physical component has an innate intelligence and vibration that is relevant to genetic memory and dates back to the time of creation on this planet. At the same time there is a non-physical intelligence interacting with this physical substance constantly. The two forms of intelligence could be related to the components of life relevant in all spiritual philosophies. The physical part is the manifested energy and the non-physical part could be termed consciousness. Both are inseparable and have intimately interacted with such precision that it has built a map of the universe in the form of the human body. The human body has been built for consciousness to experience itself through it. The

273What On Earth Is Kundalini?human body’s nervous system is working as a processing plant for the intelligence both capable of infinite correlation on a biochemical level and functioning through the mind and personality, which is greatly influenced by the perception and cognition associated with the five physical senses and the high frequency electromagnetic vibrations travelling into and out of the DNA structure.

How else can I justify and explain such bizarre experiences in my life. For example I wrote two books before I realised my experience related to a Kundalini awakening. How on earth did I write two books relating to the symptoms and the affects of a Kundalini awakening before reading a book about the subject and actually being able to relate my individual experience to something documented? I travelled to India unaware I had experienced a Kundalini awakening and the documentation I have provided is without a doubt based on personal experience and genuine documentation. I spent three years in Hobart, Tasmania with a Satyananda Yoga Centre less than ten minutes from my house but did not discover it until it was essential in my life. When thinking of a name for my pet rat how did I pick the name Ishtar with reference to a camel in a Chevy Chase and Dan Akroyd film, only to realise upon starting yoga that Ishtar is one term used for the underlying all-pervading universal intelligence? How could I be thinking about getting my friend Bob to produce a theme song for my radio show (Why Yoga) titled Kundalini Rising only to be blown off my feet a week later when Ji informed me that he recently produced a song for me to use as the theme for my radio show and it is called Kundalini Rising?”


CHAPTER 6YOGA AND THE YOGIC PATH

WHAT IS YOGA?Yoga is defined as union and subsequently balance. This union and balance will be reflected according to each individual’s current needs, understanding and perception. As far as I understand it yoga defines one experience and one experience only. That experience being Self-realisation, Spiritual illumination, Samadhi, Nirvana, Moksha and Enlightenment or being reborn into the spirit. What we term and call yoga in our current culture are actually yogic techniques designed to achieve yoga.

275What On Earth Is Kundalini?As far as I understand it yogic techniques, tantric philosophies and

ayurvedic medicine were complimentary disciplines that were utilised by the initial race that inhabited Atlantis to allow them a life that flowed according to the physically manifested laws governed by the subtle underlying reality (the law of nature and evolution). Historically, there is much evidence of this, not so much in Atlantis because that’s underwater but on the two continents of South America (close to the Andes) and Tibet and India (close to the Himalayas). Both shamanic and yogic techniques utilise understandings of the subtle realms and attempt to live harmoniously in life while understanding both the elemental constitution of creation and the human being.

I feel that within the modern era of human existence that India is the place that has maintained this knowledge in the most untainted way. Unfortunately South America has been corrupted and exploited by individuals and corporations functioning through a limited understanding of life while utilising up to ten percent of their brain for individual or family or political or financial gain. My heart bleeds with compassion when I reflect on the inhumane treatment of the indigenous species throughout the continent of both Americas.

Thanks to two enlightened sages that inhabited the planet, humanity has been blessed to receive guidelines for life. The sage Vyasa wrote many spiritual texts, the main one being the Mahabharata, which included the Bhagavad Gita. According to my understanding the Mahabharata is a story documenting creation and the Bhagavad Gita documents the turmoils and realities of the human life cycle. It is written in the form of a commentary between Krishna (representing the universal consciousness) and Arjuna (representing the human being with all their frailties). There is reference to three of the four main types of yoga, these being Bhakti (devotional), Jnana (wisdom) and Karma (action).

Along with Vyasa another sage known as Patanjali documented a systematic path, which has been termed as Raja (royal) yoga. The systematic path is relevant to all types of yoga but when relating specifically to Raja yoga it refers to utilising the conscious mind to follow the specific steps precisely. Patanjali also documented the yoga Sutras, which are less than fifty in number and are short phrases that enhance one’s understanding of themselves and subsequently all aspects of being.


Yoga had been practiced for many, many years prior to documentation and the knowledge had been passed down through word of mouth in verse and song from Guru to Disciple. Often the knowledge was maintained in the form of songs, as it was easier to remember when sung with a tune. Vyasa and Patanjali were two of the first beings to actually document the systematic approaches. The text of the Bhagavad Gita by Vyasa and the systematic eight limbs of yoga and yoga sutras by Patanjali have now become the most sacred and utilised texts pertaining to yoga on the planet. From these texts it is appreciated that upon understanding each individual’s innate elemental constitution and psychological predispositions, yoga is to be adapted and applied uniquely to all. There are many types of yoga available that fall under the four umbrellas of Raja, Jnana, Bhakti and Karma.

The best way to appreciate how the techniques can be adapted individually is to reflect upon the knowledge and understanding that has been passed down from the civilisation known as the Sanatana Dharma that inhabited the trifurcation of the Indus, Saraswati and the Tigress rivers in the past. In my opinion this culture had the best system for living according to one’s own karma and dharma and subsequently utilising this understanding to live according to the law of evolution.

Within the Sanatana Dharma there was depth of knowledge that allowed an intuitive experience and deep understanding of all dimensions of life. Life was lived in four quarters and these were known as the Ashramas. The Ashramas were not specifically defined to the precise quarter, and as with most things within the Sanatana Dharma, life was approached from a deep understanding of the eternal Dharma. The four innate requirements for each individual human being were taken into account when functioning was required in any part of ones life. The innate requirements were understood to be four in number and termed the Purusharthas, these innate requirements varied relative to the elemental constitution and psychological predisposition of all individuals. One aim in life was to balance and fulfil the Purusharthas.

The requirements for a harmonious human existence were put into four categories. The first being Artha (security), which fulfilled the requirements for food and shelter. The second being Kama (sensuality / intimacy) fulfilling the need for company and emotional

277What On Earth Is Kundalini?fulfilment. The third being Dharma (living aligned with the reason for incarnating in the current life) fulfilling one’s duty and purpose in life. The fourth one Moksha (living while keeping the goal of human existence in mind and ultimately aiming for it), fulfilling the requirement of spiritual illumination or self-realisation.

The Ashramas were designed to fulfil all four Purusharthas. The Ashramas were also defined by categorising life into four quarters. For simplicity we will use a one hundred year life cycle:

The first quarter, from the years zero to twenty-five were spent gaining foundation knowledge about creation that provided the necessary structure for a stable life, career, marriage and utilisation of material assets for existence and survival.

The second quarter, from the years of twenty-six to fifty were spent as a householder fulfilling one’s cultural obligations and functioning within the society. It included marriage and employment, which fulfilled the requirements of Artha and Kama.

The third quarter, the years from fifty-one to seventy-five were related to study of the scriptures, self-understanding which involved investigating one’s own Dharma and learning the necessary spiritual techniques and requirements for this. This Ashrama occurred after renunciation of social, family and partner (marriage) obligations and fulfilled the requirement of aligning one’s self with their own Dharma.

The fourth quarter, from seventy-six years upwards was utilised to practice the spiritual disciplines while identifying one’s own true nature with that of the all-pervading underlying reality within all of creation. This was enhanced by total renunciation of the world and any underlying attachment to it, which fulfilled the requirement of Moksha.

There are four principals in life that were defined and recommended to enhance a harmonious lifestyle and existence.

The principals are:Vairagya; Non-attachment, which enhanced understanding bondage and limitation caused through attachment.


Viveka; Correct discrimination, which enhanced the ability to see the truth within all interactions, rather than maintaining an ill focussed and imbalanced existence created by the illusory state of mind (Maya) brought about through lack of understanding. Shuddhata; Virtue, which provided harmony of head, hand and heart and resulted in harmonious psychological functioning. Mumushutva; Desire for liberation, which entailed living according to the law of evolution twenty-four hours a day seven days a week on both the gross, subtle and causal plains of existence.

The perception of certain individuals within the Sanatan Dharma was achieved through utilising yogic techniques to enhance a better functioning of the complete human vehicle. The guidelines set down by such individuals were stated and documented according to direct experience and the wisdom gained through it. Unfortunately our culture has a tendency to grab a little bit of something and exploit it for material gain and self-empowerment, which has led to a gross imbalance within the yogic disciplines towards the physically manifest realm.

Yoga within the current modern day culture is being taught by many people that have not achieved the goal of human existence (self-realisation) while still functioning on ten percent of their brain and strongly influenced by the vibrations and tensions within the mind, expressing their knowledge through a limited understanding of themselves. The typical yoga class has conformed to a standard structure, which involves many physical postures, perhaps one or two breathing techniques and one or two meditation practices. I understand that this is the best way for the knowledge of yoga to infiltrate the modern culture but unfortunately with such limited interpretation the disciplines lack the ability to take into account all realms of existence and subsequently fulfil the four Purusharthas in a harmonious way.

I fully appreciate Patanjali’s standard approach documented and codified as the eight limbs of yoga. These are steps that are required on all yogic paths, but the application and performance on the physical level falls under the umbrella of Raja yoga. I guarantee that the physical disciplines are not essential requirements for obtaining spiritual

279What On Earth Is Kundalini?illumination but for those people that are physically predisposed with psychological tendencies aligned with the physically manifest dimension, the practices are recommended. I personally understand the main components of yoga to be the Kleshas (the tensions within the mind that create bondage and limitation) and the Vrittis (the impressions within the mind from which knowledge and wisdom are formed) and the Doshas (the proportional constitution of the three humours ((bile, phlegm and wind)) present within each individual human vehicle).

The KleshasAvidya – Ignorance – A state of mind where the human being relates more predominantly with the animal nature, physical manifestation, scientific analysis, gross sense perception, habitual patterns and tamasic tendencies. Conscious awareness is mainly externalised. The spiritual nature, intuition, the all pervading/non-changing underlying reality and the unlimited potential of the human being are not within the confines of people experiencing avidya.

Asmita – I-feeling – This is a mental state where the sense of ones self or own identity is appreciated as being connected to everyone and everything or totally separate or a combination of the two. As a klesha, asmita creates tension when a person identifies their being as separate to all and their identity relates directly to their physical attachments. Examples – family, house, job, partner, dependants and pets. These individuals are not aware of an all-pervading oneness.

Raga and Dwesha – Likes and Dislikes (attractions and repulsions) – Human beings have an innate tendency to be attracted to the sense experiences that create the experience of pleasure (openness) and a similar tendency to avoid the sense experiences that create the experience of pain (contraction). These attractions and/or repulsions are attachments and create distractions through sense experience and other levels. They inhibit deep internalisation of awareness and inhibit progressing to higher spiritual states.

Abhinivesha – Fear of Death – Within the conscious awareness of certain humans there is no comprehension of the eternal existence of the soul. This creates a fear of death. It creates a fatalistic attitude to life based on sense experience and a lack of understanding that there is an underlying non-changing all-pervading life force. These fears


create attachments and inhibit the possibilities available to human beings for expanding the awareness of their consciousness.

The VrittisThe vrittis are seen as impressions created by the mind, (The analogy of every thought creating a ripple in the great pond of the mind which will one day be experienced in some form when it rebounds off the shore and returns to its creative principle, is often used). I understand vrittis as the seeds that can contribute to the manifested events that people experience. Every time a human being experiences something, they act in a way that creates an impression in the mind. If that impression is given enough energy in the form of thought then it will start to manifest. Firstly manifestation will occur on the subtle levels and then it will manifest more and more grossly until it becomes a physical experience. The vrittis are created according to an individuals understanding and level of awareness. How an individual applies their knowledge or wisdom to their experience can be seen as the stimulus that creates the vrittis. A human being’s knowledge may be acquired from many sources. The five sources of knowledge are understood as the five vrittis. They are:

I – Pramana – correect knowledgeII – Viparyaya – wrong knowledgeIII – Vikalpa – fantasyIV – Nidra – sleepV – Smriti – memory

Human beings are mainly unaware of the unlimited potential of their mind. They are not conscious of the fact that their thoughts, relative to the influence of the vrittis, create their future experiences. Certain yogic techniques, such as abhyasa and vairagya can assist a human being in understanding themselves, the mind, the vrittis and life.

The DoshasThe doshas are the humoural substances that fluctuate within the human body to maintain it and allow it to perform. According to the ayurvedic tradition the humours are appreciated as the substances of phlegm, bile and wind. They are associated with the three gunas, the objective being to balance all three in aim of achieving stability and harmony within the body and mind framework.

281What On Earth Is Kundalini?I have not practiced all forms of yoga and nor do I intend to. I will

remain true to my innate constitution and psychological disposition, which are aligned with Jnana yoga. I will inevitably (after purifying and stabilising my body and mind for a prolonged period be bound to teach people Kriya yoga, which comes under the sub category of Kundalini yoga and when consciously performed comes under the umbrella of Raja yoga. It is inevitable that all forms of yoga influence the bridge of consciousness by activating, balancing and purifying each of the chakras and subsequently allowing the Kundalini energy to be awakened. Due to the wisdom I have gained from personal experience I have found that an integral yoga allows for the unique application of the spiritual disciplines recommended for each individual. This being the main reason I have aligned my life with, the Satyananda Yoga Tradition. The other reason being that the knowledge provided within the tradition provides the best map of the mind in relation to all realms of consciousness. For me personally I have grown to appreciate that while living a life of yoga I can get away with talking about Kundalini.

The Satyananda Bihar School Of Yoga TraditionThe Satyananda Yoga Tradition is a continuation of the knowledge passed down within the Dashnami Order of Saraswati. The lineage has continued to be passed down from guru to disciple from the eighth century AD when the enlightened master Adi Shankaracharya inhabited the planet. Prior to the eighth century AD yoga was predominately practiced individually and less systematically. The Dashnami orders, the four Indian Ashrams and many commentaries produced by Adi Shankaracharya enhanced the systematic application of the yogic techniques and practices, which were initially documented by the sages Vyasa and Patanjali.

The current Satyananda Bihar School of Yoga Tradition gives acknowledgement to all enlightened sages of the past, and in the modern era is seen to have started with Satyananda’s guru Swami Sivananda Saraswati (Sivanandaji). Sivanandaji was born at Pattamadai, Tamil Nadu in the year 1887. After training and serving as a medical doctor in Malaya, he renounced his practice and went to Rishikesh to be initiated into the Dashnami Sannyasa Order by his guru Swami Vishwananda Saraswati in the year 1924 at the age of thirty-seven. He


toured extensively throughout India, inspiring many people to practice yoga and lead a divine life. Sivanandaji founded the Divine Life Society at Rishikesh in 1936, the Sivananda Ayurvedic Pharmacy in 1945, the Yoga Vedanta Forest Academy in 1948 and the Sivananda Eye Hospital in 1957. During his lifetime he guided thousands of disciples and aspirants as well as authoring over two hundred books.

Swami Satyananda Saraswati (Paramahamsaji) was born at Almora in Uttar Pradesh in 1923. At the age of twenty he met Sivanandaji in Rishikesh and was initiated into the Dashnami Sannyasin order at the age of twenty. In 1955 he left the tutelage of Sivanandaji to live as a wondering mendicant. In 1963 Paramahamsaji founded the International Yoga Fellowship and the following year in 1964 the Bihar School of Yoga. For twenty years he was president while touring internationally and authoring over eighty books. In 1983 and 1984 he renounced his role as president of the Bihar School of Yoga and handed it to Swami Niranjanananda Saraswati. In 1987 Paramahamsaji founded the charitable institution dedicated to Sivanandaji called Sivananda Math. In the same year he also founded the Yoga Research Foundation and in 1988 moved to Rikhia adopting Kshetra Sannyasa and living as a Paramahamsa Sannyasin.

Swami Niranjanananda Saraswati (Swamiji) was born Rajnandgaon, Madhya Pradesh in 1960. At the age of 4 he joined the Bihar School of

Vata Pitta Kapha

Dry

Light

Cold

Quick

Thin

Clear

Astringent

Liquid

Light

Hot

Mobile

Medium

Penetrating

Sour and pungent

Liquid

Heavy

Cold

Slow

Oily

Dense

Sweet

The following table gives a brief overview of the doshas/attributes:


Yoga and was initiated into the Dashnami Sannyasin order at the age of 10. From the age of 11 he travelled overseas and toured many countries teaching yoga and it’s related philosophies. In 1983 he was recalled to India and was appointed president of the Bihar School of Yoga by Paramahamsaji. During the period between 1983 and 1994 he guided the development of Ganga-Darshan to found the Bihar Yoga Bharati, which was understood to be first government accredited university of yoga education on the planet Earth. In 1990 he was initiated into the Paramahansa Order and in 1993 was anointed preceptor in succession to Swami Satyananda. Swamiji has authored over twenty books and guides many national and international yoga programmes.

Through the in-depth knowledge and wisdom acquired and experienced by Paramahamsaji humanity has been blessed with the Satyananda Yoga Tradition. It is an integral yoga that allows unique adaptation of the spiritual disciplines for each individual. It incorporates philosophies pertaining to many spiritual texts while utilising the definitions provided within the Samkhya, Vedanta and Tantric systems.

SAMKHYASamkhya takes into account the perception and understanding of all dimensions of life within the known existing creation. It takes into account twenty-four evolutionary aspects of being. (Shaivism takes into account thirty-six evolutes). Samkhya defines the Tattwas (the elements), the Tanmatras (the subtle essences), the Jnanendriyas (the organs of sense) and the Karmendriyas (organs of action), which are listed below:

Tattwa Tanmatras Gyanendriyas Karmendriyas

Ether

Air

Fire

Water

Earth

Shabda–sound

Sparsha–feeling

Rupa–form/sight

Rasa–taste

Gandha-Smell

Srota–ears

Twacha–skin

Chaksu–eyes

Jihwa–tongue

Ghrana-nose

Vac–vocal chords

Puni–hands

Pada–feet

Upastha–sexual organs

Payu–excretory organs


After appreciating these components as being manifest or utilised to experience the manifest dimension, the unmanifest aspect of the human is taken into account by categorising the components of the mind into four parts. These four components being: Chitta (memory), Manas (relative to manifest perception), Buddhi (related to unmanifest perception) and the Ahamkara (self-identity). The four components of the mind function proportionately, according to each individual’s depth of perception. It is understood that these evolutes are contained within a substance that is universal in nature, non-changing and all knowing. This substance provides creation with life in the form of pure being. This universal form of being is appreciated as pure consciousness in the form of Purusha. Everything else is appreciated as a manifestation of energy and subsequently termed Prakriti.

All the evolutionary aspects of creation are influenced by the three attributes of being (known as the Gunas). The attributes and the sway between them is inevitable so it is understood that to harmonise life the innate qualities are to be appreciated.

VEDANTAThe Vedantic system emphasises that the non-changing, all-pervading underlying reality is exactly that. It is the true nature and underlying reality of all being. Everything within the realm of manifested creation is appreciated as Maya (illusory). Vedanta encourages living within the world of Maya while recognising and appreciating the underlying reality and living according to its innately manifest laws of evolution. It is more about minimising the illusory state of mind that is brought on by attachment to the manifest dimension that leads to limitation and bondage, it is not about being apathetic to the created manifest realm believing that it is only an illusion and not a significant aspect of reality. The Vedantic philosophy terms the underlying reality as Brahman and all manifestation as a part of Maya.

TANTRAThe Tantric system of philosophy realises that within the realm of experience, consciousness (the underlying reality permeating all being) and manifested energy (that creates the physical dimension

285What On Earth Is Kundalini?for experience) are inseparable. They term the consciousness as Shiva and the manifested realm as Shakti. There is an in-depth appreciation that these two opposing yet complimentary forces allows experience and subsequently accumulation of knowledge, which leads to wisdom. In Tantra, a balanced experience of all aspects of life is encouraged while maintaining awareness of the divine life force that allows it to be.

The Satyananda Yoga Tradition seems all encompassing as it takes into account the Samkhyan appreciation of all aspects within creation, the Vedantic understanding and appreciation of the underlying non-changing reality in the form of pure being and coordinating these two into a lifestyle that is governed by the Tantric philosophies that encourage the harmonious experience of all aspects of life.

To emphasise and encourage individual application of the yogic practices the Satyananda Tradition encourages self-regulation and self-discipline while providing integral yoga. This being the reason that the standard Satyananda Yoga class is taught by a teacher who does not demonstrate the postures (this encourages internalisation of awareness) and emphasis is placed on maintaining the oral tradition that is passed on in the form of speech through utilisation of the hearing capabilities. The standard class involves fifty percent Asana (postures), twenty-five percent Pranayama (breathing techniques utilised to purify and enhance internal energy) and twenty-five percent meditation (focussing the mind).

Besides all this, the integrity maintained through the direct linage speaks for itself. The resources available pertaining to the knowledge, literature and references about not only Kundalini but also all aspects of life is phenomenal. As a human race we are fully blessed to be exposed to such non-religious spiritual techniques and understandings. I am eternally thankful to Sivanandaji, Paramahamsaji and Swamiji for their involvement in the upliftment of humanity at this crucial time for human existence.


CHAPTER 7IS THERE A GOD OR GODDESS?

It’s not really for me to discuss or infer to anyone whether there is or there isn’t such a thing. My understanding is that everyone will perceive the most subtle realm of existence according to their own innate constitution, psychological predispositions, upbringing, value and belief system (understanding) and how they identify with themselves and their true nature. Ultimately the underlying reality is asexual (neither male nor female), inseparable from anything (oneness) and indescribable. As human beings, to enhance our understanding and knowledge of such things we have to conceptualise aspects of life through mental fabrications and application of terminology.

This underlying reality is everywhere and non-discriminating, subsequently available to every human being. The human body and framework have evolved to perceive and interact with the underlying reality to enhance the speed of each individual’s evolutionary cycle while living harmoniously with all aspects of life. As far as I understand it the bridge of consciousness situated within the human framework has seven levels of conscious awareness. They relate to the concepts and psychophysiological components of the chakras. Below is a list pertaining to the levels of conscious awareness when applied systematically working from the gross through to the subtlest dimensions.

The Yogic framework is designed to systematically activate, purify and balance the chakras through the balanced and harmonious


Sanskrit name Muladhara Chakra

DefinitionEnglish nameNumber of petals (Nadi’s intersecting)ColourPhysical locationKshetram (Trigger Point)Correlating Nerve plexusCorrelating Endocrine glandsPrana VayuKosha (Energy manifestation)Tattwa (Element)Yantra (Visual symbol)Tanmatra (Subtle essence)Gyandriya (Organ of Knowledge)Karmendriya (Organ of Action)Bija (Seed) MantraLoka (Plane of existence)

Deva (God)Devi (Goddess)AnimalYoniLingam

GranthiPhysical experience

Associated Powers

Foundation of experienceRoot or Base Chakra

FourDeep Red

Perineum (males) Cervix (females)Perineum (males) Cervix (females)

CoccygealPerineal body

ApanaAnnamaya kosha

Prithvi (Earth)Yellow Square

SmellNoseAnusLamBhu

First plane of mortal existenceGanesha

Dakini or SavitriElephant

TripuraSvayambhu Dhumra

(Smoky and ill defined)Brahma

Inverted Red triangle with a coiled serpent

Full knowledge of Kundalini and the power to awaken it. Levitation, Control of entire Being, Ability to produce smells at will, Freedom from disease, Knowledge of creative potential, Cheerful at all times.

PRIMAL REQUIREMENTS – (Food & Shelter)


INTIMACY – (Sensuality)

DefinitionEnglish nameNumber of petals(Nadi’s intersecting)ColourPhysical locationKshetram (Trigger Point)Correlating Nerve plexusCorrelating Endocrine glandsPrana VayuKosha (Energy manifestation)Tattwa (Element)Yantra (Visual symbol)Tanmatra (Subtle essence)Gyandriya (Organ of Knowledge)Karmendriya (Organ of Action)Bija (Seed) Mantra Loka (Plane of existence)

Deva (God)Devi (Goddess)AnimalYoniLingamGranthiPhysical experienceAssociated Powers

Ones own abodeSacral Chakra

SixOrange-red (Vermillion)

CoccyxPubic Symphysis (Bone)

Sacral/PelvicTestes/Ovaries

VyanaPranamaya kosha

Apas (Water)Silver or white Crescent Moon

TasteTongue

Urinary/Reproductive SystemVam

Bhuvah Intermediate plane of spiritual awareness

VishnuRakini or Saraswati

Crocodile

Total Darkness/UnconsciousnessNo fear of water, Intuitive knowledge, knowledge of Astral entities, Ability to taste anything at will.

Svadisthana ChakraSanskrit name


Sanskrit name Manipura Chakra

DefinitionEnglish nameNumber of petals (Nadi’s intersecting)ColourPhysical locationKshetram (Trigger Point)Correlating Nerve plexusCorrelating Endocrine glandsPrana VayuKosha (Energy manifestation)Tattwa (Element)Yantra (Visual symbol)Tanmatra (Subtle essence)Gyandriya (Organ of Knowledge)Karmendriya (Organ of Action)Bija (Seed) Mantra Loka(Plane of existence)

Deva (God)Devi (Goddess)AnimalYoniLingamGranthiPhysical experienceAssociated Powers

City of JewelsSolar Plexus Chakra

TenYellow

Behind NavelNavelSolar

AdrenalSamana

Pranamaya koshaAgni (Fire)

Red inverted triangleSightEyesFeetRam

SvahaLast of the mortal planes

RudraLakini or Lakshmi

Ram

Bright Yellow lotusNo fear of Fire, Acquisition of hidden treasures, Knowledge of ones own body, Freedom from disease

PERSONAL POWER – (Self-identity)


Sanskrit name Anahata Chakra

DefinitionEnglish nameNumber of petals (Nadi’s intersecting)Colour

Physical locationKshetram (Trigger Point)Correlating Nerve plexusCorrelating Endocrine glandsPrana VayuKosha (Energy manifestation)Tattwa (Element)Yantra (Visual symbol)Tanmatra(Subtle essence)Gyandriya (Organ of Knowledge)Karmendriya (Organ of Action)Bija (Seed) Mantra Loka (Plane of existence)

Deva (God)Devi (Goddess)AnimalYoniLingamGranthiPhysical experience

Associated Powers

Source of the unstruck soundHeart Chakra

Twelve

Blue (Sometimes interpreted as Green)

Behind the heartXiphoid process of sternum

CardiacThymus

PranaManomaya kosha

Vayu (Air)Six pointed Star

TouchSkin

HandsYam

Maha First of the immortal planes

IshaKakini or Uma

AntelopeTrikona

Bana (Gold)Vishnu

Blue lotus on a still lake or Golden flame in a dark cave

Control of prana, Ability to heal others, Universal Love, Inspired speech, Words manifest, Complete control of the senses, Ability to concentrate.

LOVE – (Unconditional)


Sanskrit name Vishuddhi Chakra

DefinitionEnglish nameNumber of petals (Nadi’s intersecting)Colour

Physical locationKshetram (Trigger Point)Correlating Nerve plexusCorrelating Endocrine glandsPrana VayuKosha (Energy manifestation)Tattwa (Element)Yantra (Visual symbol)Tanmatra (Subtle essence)Gyandriya (Organ of Knowledge)Karmendriya (Organ of Action)Bija (Seed) Mantra Loka (Plane of existence)Deva (God)Devi (Goddess)AnimalYoniLingamGranthiPhysical experienceAssociated Powers

Centre of Nectar and PoisonThroat Chakra

Sixteen

Purple (Sometimes interpreted as Blue)

Behind the throatAdams apple or Sternal notch

Cervical (Laryngeal/Pharyngeal) Plexus

Thyroid glandUdana

Vijnanamaya koshaAkasha (Ether)

White circleHearing

EarsVocal chords

HamJnana

SadashivaSakini

White Elephant with Seven trunks

Feeling of cold and drops of nectarImperishability, Full knowledge of the scriptures, Knowledge of the past, present and future, Ability to Exist without Eating, Power to read others thoughts.

COMMUNICATION – (True Expression)


Sanskrit name Ajna ChakraDefinitionEnglish nameNumber of petals (Nadi’s intersecting)

Colour

Physical locationKshetram (Trigger Point)Correlating Nerve plexusCorrelating Endocrine glandsPrana VayuKosha (Energy manifestation)Tattwa (Element)Yantra (Visual symbol)Tanmatra (Subtle essence)Gyandriya (Organ of Knowledge)Karmendriya (Organ of Action)Bija (Seed) Mantra Loka (Plane of existence)Deva (God)Devi (Goddess)AnimalYoniLingam

GranthiPhysical experience

Associated Powers

Command CentreThe Third Eye

Two (Sometimes interpreted as 100)

Clear or Grey (Sometimes interpreted as Indigo)

Centre of the HeadPoint between the Eyebrows

Cavernous PlexusPituitary

All five Prana’sVijnanamaya Kosha

Manas (Mind)Clear circle

MindMindMind

OmTapas

ParamshivaHakini

TrikonaItarakhya

(Well defined black lingam) Symbolising a clear concept of

the Self.Rudra

Unmani – Golden egg and spontaneous trance

Ability to enter another’s body at will, Become all knowing and all seeing, Acquisition of Siddhis, Realisation of unity with Supreme Consciousness.

DISCRIMINATION – (Clear Sight)

293What On Earth Is Kundalini?ONENESS – (Self-Realisation)

Sanskrit name Sahasrara Chakra

DefinitionEnglish nameNumber of petals(Nadi’s intersecting)Colour

Physical locationKshetram (Trigger Point)Correlating Nerve plexusCorrelating Endocrine glandsPrana VayuKosha (Energy manifestation)Tattwa (Element)Yantra (Visual symbol)Tanmatra (Subtle essence)Gyandriya (Organ of Knowledge)Karmendriya (Organ of Action)Bija (Seed) Mantra Loka (Plane of existence)Deva (God)Devi (Goddess)AnimalYoniLingamGranthiPhysical experience

Associated Powers

Thousand Petalled LotusCrown Chakra

Infinite (Sometimes interpreted as 1000)

Multicoloured (Sometimes interpreted as Violet)

Crown of HeadCrown of Head

Hypothalamic Pituitary AxisPituitary Gland

Beyond the prana’s – IndescribableAnandamaya kosha

Beyond the elements – IndescribableIndescribableIndescribableIndescribableIndescribableIndescribable

SatyamShiva

Shakti

White (Pure consciousness)Jyotir

Luminous lingam in the centre of a lotus with infinite petals

Samadhi, Total Awakening, Self-realisation.


interaction of both knowledge and experience. Wisdom of each level is obtained through utilising the knowledge, which leads to the direct experience and subsequently individual personal understanding. Without the experience, knowledge is limited and if passed on by people with a limited understanding of their self-identity can become tainted. This is where the concept of, “A little knowledge can be dangerous”, can fully be appreciated. There are many people that haven’t experienced certain aspects of life but have very strong opinions about them. I personally prefer if people, “Don’t tell me about what they don’t know.”

Upon application of the yogic techniques and practices, complimented with the essential components of non-attachment (Vairagya) and regular practice (Abhyasa) each chakra will be systematically activated, purified and balanced individually. Upon achieving this at the most subtle level the experience of self-realisation occurs. Self-realisation being documented throughout the current human life cycle as the goal of human existence.

Self-realisation is often confused with perfection and my understanding of this is that through the systematic discipline relating to the bridge of consciousness all aspects of life and one’s understanding of them are enhanced and their karmic repercussions are burnt off, which allows the opportunity to flow more harmoniously with the underlying law of evolution.

My understanding of perfection is that it is achieved when an individual’s life is consciously aligned with this flow twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. Self-realisation occurs at the point of direct experience of the underlying all-pervading non-changing blissful reality of pure being. Following such an experience realisation of the interconnectedness of all of creation is obtained. It is recommended that while walking this path knowledge and experience are balanced and systematically applied in a very patient way while not having the desire to obtain the goal. It is understood that the systematic process will inevitably lead to achievement of the goal but emphasis is encouraged to be focused on one’s own unique situation while not having a desire to obtain the goal. Ironically having the desire to obtain the goal leads to the inevitability of forming a desire and attachment, which are inhibitions on the path.

295What On Earth Is Kundalini?The bridge of consciousness directly relates to Maslow’s hierarchy

of needs and further emphasises my understanding that life is a state of mind. Everything within the realm of my own personal experience is relative to my state of mind, both the knowledge contained within it (or perceived by it) and the wisdom acquired through direct experience. I wonder exactly where the mind is and fully appreciate that it is external as much as it is internal. Sometimes I wonder why I was fortunate enough to be able to appreciate the guidance of the Goddess in my life, which ultimately led to me writing this book.

I understand that humanity as a whole is not necessarily going to achieve self-realisation on a collective level at this point in time relative to the evolutionary impulse. I also understand that humans are moving into a conscious appreciation of the interconnectedness of all human beings but for this to happen I feel destruction and turmoil will be prevalent on the planet for many years to come.

I know that the Goddess is residing in all beings and showers everything within creation with the blissful unconditional love that perpetuates life and governs all of existence. I am not asking anyone to believe me because I do not care whether he or she does or does not. To gain a deeper appreciation it would be recommended to look at the facts and the evidence inherent historically on the planet. I personally appreciate the Goddess as a motherly energy as I am able to relate to it a little better in the form of unconditional love. I do realise that the ability to unconditionally love something is inherent within all humans and is most often displayed around babies, newly born animals or offspring’s. This unconditional love has been emphasised by certain people that have inhabited the planet and been manifestations and incarnations that displayed the unconditional love in a form of perfection. People such as the spiritual leaders of the past have exemplified the energy of creation. Not the people that have reinterpreted the teachings of these spiritual leaders.

Evidence of the Goddess can be appreciated within many mythological tales, fairytales, alchemical texts, the more truly spiritual texts, the medical symbol and some religious doctrines. She is most evident in the form of Isis, Shakti and the Mother Mary.

Ironically there is more evidence occurring within the realm of physical experience in the form of statues of Mary that cry blood and

296 What On Earth Is Kundalini?statues of Ganesha that drink milk. These are bound to be scientifically rebutted but this is inevitable since perception is limited within the framework of most sceptics.

The most important piece of evidence is the medical symbol. The symbol is termed “The Staff of Hermes” and represents two serpents intertwined around a rod. When accurately portrayed the serpents crossover six times and their faces point to a union at a seventh point which is represented by a circle that symbolises the light of spiritual illumination, illumination, Braharendra, the Fourth Ventricle or the eye of intuition that is activated are balanced in a deep mediative state. While appreciating the accurate representation of the psychophysiological component within the human being that is responsible for achieving the goal of human existence it is easy to see that the serpents move up the ladder from the physical dimension to the most subtle, therefore enhancing perception of the subtle realms of existence through a systematic process that activates the dormant areas within the cerebral cortex of the brain. Unfortunately when relating the evidence to the Christian doctrines the serpent has been portrayed in a negative context. This has induced fear and subsequently most philosophies pertaining to the bible are fear based.

I asked myself a few questions relating to this confusion. If Jesus said, “I and my father are one, you and I are one.” Doesn’t this imply that everything is one? If it is understood that I pick up a rock and God is there or I split some wood and God is there, it implies that God is everywhere. So upon interpretation I appreciate that the oneness is everywhere. So how can it not be available to the dude in Nepal who doesn’t speak English, doesn’t own a bible but is thankful to the sun as a representation of the life force that allows his vegetables to grow and perpetuate life for both him and his family? It is inevitable and realistic that the life force interacts intimately with all beings.

During this century the battle will be non-physical and a war of consciousness. The evidence is there and the importance of the recognition is essential for human existence to continue on the planet in a harmonious way. There are phenomenal amounts of people experiencing transformations in consciousness at present throughout the planet. Research into this universal global phenomenon is much

297What On Earth Is Kundalini?needed. The evolutionary impulse of Kundalini is behind such experiences and structured development and continual research will only enhance the progress of the human race. I am blessed to be alive during this traditional phase within the human psych and I am optimistic about the outcome. I have been fully blessed to be given the opportunity to serve the Goddess during this incarnation and I sincerely hope that upon the time of departing it I have pleased her.

KnowingThe blue skies contrast against the gum leaves,The sweet smell and connection in the moment, endlessKnowing permeates all being as the movement goes inside to confirm itCan it be that the thread of life radiates essence into infinite being?Do the circles of worms dancing in the sun know?Reality is but an infinite grey scale that sometimes allows you to sway from black to whiteAre the twisted gums so lonely that they represent life? Or is it they do what they do, simply being in the continual present moment?

IronyWhy can life be about enlightenment when humans can’t find the switch? Do the birds and puppy dogs have to die along with the flowers and saplings,Suffering the pale bleak winter of human destruction?Is not destruction only necessary within the mind to conquer the Self? To see through the shell of personality and the bondage created by irony?

The key within the body represented by the SheshnaagPermeating as pure beingInfinite organism since man was createdPresent in the dark of night as a wave of lightWhere do we go from here when no one wants to see you?


CONCLUSION

The way I see it Kali was my stability and Earthly involvement during our relationship. She represented my lower chakras as I was totally in the higher chakras due to my awakening. I know that I am one of the most fortunate people on the planet to stumble across the experience of enlightenment and to have researched it back to the origin/source and correlated it to the dormant energy residing in the human. Ironically the loneliness experienced due to this experience and a current lack of understanding of the phenomena within the medical field has set me on a path of self-destruction. I look forward to death and want to escape from existing but once again ironically in this life I know I don’t have a choice so I have to see it out. The self-destructive behaviour is one way of expressing the underlying urge pre-empting death, unfortunately all this will create is a body without the lungs to ventilate it.

MARRIAGE STUFFMy heart bleeds as I see how hard my princess tried to please me (albeit on a level I did not appreciate). The perceived ‘mistakes’ I made and my inability to make it up to my princess. On one hand I was having fun with and learning from the younger generation as I socialised with them, seeing many of my friends as the future generation of fathers in the Hobart region. I was infatuated with the topic of Kundalini and continually researching it when ever possible. Knowing it to be the key to life and trying to understand it.

299What On Earth Is Kundalini?On the other hand I was totally complacent to the emotional needs

of my wife, which inhibited the fulfilment of my need for emotional satisfaction. (refer to Purusharthas in chapter 5). Initially I failed to appreciate how much effort Kali was putting in. The effort was physically expressed when mental stimulation and emotional expression were not possible due to energy depletion from work. The gap created between us was easily explained by blaming marijuana and me.

Unfortunately the core issues were not dealt with and when I discovered and utilised Yoga to replace marijuana in my life my wife was no longer attracted to me, rightly so, who could blame her. It is easy to say “it is in the past”, “it was meant to be” and “live in the bliss of the present moment” and sure the lessons were invaluable and I will I only grow stronger and wiser from the experiences but realistically I still feel sadness for Kali and anger at myself at the core of my being that yearns to make up for all of the perceived ‘mistakes’.

EXCAPISM AND ADDICTIONLiving in this addictive culture, I chose Marijuana as the form of drug abuse to unconsciously repress my emotions, in a feeble attempt to escape from myself. Looking back now I see that daily smoking commenced in my life as a result of emotional turmoil brought on by myself for looking for love in all the wrong places. The turmoil I experienced only enhanced my lack of Self-worth and own feeling of inadequacy. This being compounded by a culture that continually bombards me with advertising that creates cravings in order to be ‘accepted’. The present cycle of addiction is the repetition of a cycle allowing me to deal with the issue of inadequacy one more time.

Sure I feel adequate these days, in many ways that I could never have possibly imagined for example knowing that infinite bliss permeates every atom of my being, as part of the underlying reality of all being. I know the key to life (Kundalini) and the goal of human existence (Self-Realisation) but sometimes I wonder what good it is to know when I have an inability to function stably in the current culture, suffer extreme mental loneliness and crave for a hug. Sure I’ve had enough sex to satisfy most single men but nothing compares to someone loving and accepting you for who you are.

300 What On Earth Is Kundalini?RESEARCH

I took my own personal investigation of Kundalini as far as I could. I realised that the capabilities resulting from focusing ones energy through the mind are infinite. I realised Kundalini is the biological basis of all spiritual, religious and mythical doctrines. The goal of life is to experience Self-realisation through a balanced and disciplined approach. Following the experience, reintegration into a lifestyle harmonious with the law of evolution/oneness is essential. The universal Yogic phenomena occurring at present is created by the urge of the soul and its quest to know itself. This explains the increase in the popularity of Yoga at this much needed time of non-fulfilment and devastation throughout the planet. To heal the human race and bridge the gap between human (matter) and god (spirit) we must travel to the extreme of separation from the source where only individual self-cravings are sort, before inevitability occurs and we consciously make a journey back to the source to live united and harmoniously with it.

The experience of transformation of consciousness that occurs within some human specimens must be an innate capability within all. It is the subject that requires the most urgent attention of the human species in the hope that we will not destroy the planet, subsequently making the race extinct. The saddest thing with this scenario is the fact that if humans were so selfish and irrational as to destroy our hope of survival by exploiting the planet of all of its natural resources, we do not have the right to take all other forms of harmonious animated life with us.

The as yet ‘unrealised’ connection between our thoughts and the manifestation of them that occurs at a certain point of development within the human being is another crucial area of much needed investigation and attempted understanding that may also inhibit the self-extinction scenario.

BIZZARE STUFF STILL CONTINUESI get the most intense ‘cold chill’ sensations when interpretations of the universal truth are confirmed, especially topics relating to Kundalini, Shiva’s all pervading consciousness and the feminine love energy of Isis, Shakti and the virgin Mary.

As I sit here now in 2003, the television show is about Florence Nightingale that confirms she had a not so publicized side to her

301What On Earth Is Kundalini?nature and that her life really started at 31 when she was destitute and all she could think about was dying when suddenly she experiences some form of mystical experience and dedicates her life to God.

The synchronistic capabilities of the all-pervading intelligence will never cease to amaze me. The bizarre experience of life continues as I create it.

A television show about pyramids reassures and confirms that the death of the pharaoh is symbolic and directly related the systematic transformation of consciousness.

TWO STATES OF MINDI understand that there are mainly two states of mind and they have opposite effects on the human being. One state is that of openness and acceptance while experiencing bliss in the moment. For example, the content times in a friends company ‘where time flies’, based on love, freedom and interconnectedness which may create an open mind.

The other state is that of contraction based on fear, when ones identity or values are threatened. Predominantly induced through fear or a limited understanding of the self this state of mind can result in a closed (narrow) mind.

These two states are continually under the sway of the gunas, the goal being to remain stable in the sattvic frame of mind. As I near completion of this book it brings up great sadness and grief while also untold recollections of blissfully joyous experiences that have been divinely blessed. I realize that many confirmations and intuitive experiences occur in what may seem the most unlikely places and occur predominantly whilst I am in a sattvic frame of mind.

The way I see it, while living according to the limited understanding of the current culture you have two choices, to die or live long enough until something bad happens to you. All will be decided by a person’s identification with the self and their value and belief structure. At thirty-one I probably have a lot of life left so I may as well get used to it.

The serpent has fallen into the lower chakras as man has created hell on Earth. The serpent is waiting to be awakened within every

302 What On Earth Is Kundalini?human body for recognition of the soul and realisation of the interconnectedness of being. The pyramids scattered throughout the planet are remnants of civilizations conscious of the process of spiritual illumination. Many have seven levels and are seen to represent the bridge between Heaven and Earth. The humans are seen to be transformed into ‘Gods’ through the techniques of initiation performed within the pyramid. The transformation is categorized as an experience of rebirth and the death of the pharaoh. The experience is that of illumination and related to the source of all life while being symbolized by the sun.

Many pyramids were built in reverence and worship to the Sun, which is seen as the unconditional giver of life on this Planet. The symbol of joining the Gods is pictured in a scene where the soul joins Osiris (God of resurrection). The knowledge relating to the human being, the body’s innate universal design, its ability to harness cosmic energies and the techniques used in order to utilize the energy for the upliftment of all beings is presently returning into the collective psyche of the human race.

Yoga for me represents the most untainted non-religious system of techniques on the planet. If you follow the souls urge to know, far enough, you will eventually be initiated into the belief system innate within the human framework that is intertwined with Prana, the Sanskrit Alphabet, Kundalini and Brahmarendra that is contained within the ancient sacred teachings of Yoga.


First edition Epilogue

The knowledge is NOT MINE. I believe that ‘ownership’ is a myth.Atmajnana belongs to the soul. The soul is connected to Paramatma via Sanskrit.The e-books are free and the paperbacks are printed in India by Pilgrims Publishing.

Seventeen years into my quest to understand Kundalini Awak-enings, I seem at times, like the biggest hypocrite on the planet and a lot of time has passed since Isis and I had some of the most special experiences of my life together. I have developed such a pas-sion to know and understand how I am connected to all that that my burning desire has ‘torched’ a lot of the other beautiful things in my life. It seems that I have lost everything and also gained ev-erything by losing. My aim was to write books that the ‘everyday’ person can relate to, so now, I have two ex-wives, two children, a big mortgage and work in a field where mismanagement is rife I think I have achieved that goal. I am also bound to the truth but even so, my sexual energy is rampant at times and I question its connection to perception of the more subtle dimensions of being and Kundalini. Whilst I am on the verge of going totally insane in the ‘civilised’ culture of the west, I find myself living on the fringe of a quiet secluded country town finding solace by escaping to In-dia regularly where my type of insanity is endorsed.


In 2015 I am starting to accept myself a lot more and appreci-ate my mind is prone to intuitive insight and has a foundation sim-ilar in perception to scientists and physicists. During my research I have completed 3 years Yoga teaching with Bihar school of yoga, Authored the “What on Earth is Kundalini?” series (which has 4 books now and several future titles listed below), nearly completed Masters in Sanskrit and have an aim to build a Yoga Temple dedi-cated to the Sanskrit Alphabet and how the human framework is made in the image of the creator Sheshnaag and a separate Sanskrit museum dedicated to the dodocohedron shape of the universe.

I have travelled to India and Nepal 4 times and the places vis-ited include Varanasi, Delhi, Rishikesh, Gangotri, Kolkata, Put-tiparthy, Mumbai, Pokhara, Kathmandhu and Allahabad for four weeks during the 2013 Kumbh Mela where the footage for the upcoming film the “Goal of Yoga” Documentary was filmed. The “Goal of Yoga” Documentary will be released in 2018 accompa-nied by the upcoming books V, VI & VII of the “What on Earth is Kundalini?” series.

The “What on Earth is Kundalini?” series. (2015 – Pil-grims)

Book I – Why the Astros? – Documentation leading up to and during a spontaneous Kundalini awakening.

Book II – Your Thougts create Your Reality – Documen-tation of the realisation that thoughts manifest, immediately fol-lowing a spontaneous Kundalini awakening.

Book III – What on Earth is Kundalini? – Contextualisa-tion of a spontaneous Kundalini awakening in reference to Yogic Literature.

Book IV – A Pocket Book on Kundalini – A summary of Tantra, Samkhya and the Linga Sharira.

The upcoming titles are (2018 – Pilgrims)Book V – Enlightenment is over-rated – The heaven and

hell experienced following Kundalini awakening. Book VI – Serpent Tales – A collection of personal tales

from individuals in varying states of awakening.Book VII – The Goal of Yoga – Details varying perspec-

tives of Kundalini awakening and the role of Sanskrit.

305What On Earth Is Kundalini?During the years I have researched Kundalini, which has Shiva

and Shakti as its foundation, whilst in India I have spent more time in Varanasi than anywhere else because by endorsing the serpent around Shiva’s neck I have found the best place of worship of such a being, is there, in the abode of Shiva, one of the oldest and most spiritual towns on the planet, the great Kashi.

It is in Varanasi that I stumbled upon a great ‘Bhakti’ with more joy and bounce and love in his heart than most, Ramanada Tiwari, the founder of Pilgrims books, a person that has shared his passion openly with many through his love of books and the joy they give him, especially the shastras.

Did you hear that his empire, the Pilgrims book store in Kath-mandhu burnt to the ground as Ramananda Tiwari stood laughing and crying simultaneous as irreplaceable books burned. Pilgrims was a world renowned store known for its love, joy, ambience, collections, knowledge and helpfulness, sadly now gone after 30 years of passion for the ancient culture of Bharat and the Sanatana Dharma.

It is this man I have donated the “What on Earth is Kund-alini?” series to for hard copies to be published solely in Varanasi by Pilgrims Publishing in the hope that “after a lifetime of ‘looking after’ books, books can look after Ramanand”

Pilgrims Bookhouse needs support: please buy hard copies from Pilgrims Publishing or contact Ramananda Tiwari in India or ‘omdevaji’ anywhere else to donate to the cause of Sheshnaag to preserve the sacredness of Sanskrit.

Om Namah Sheshnaaga omdevaji

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