Being in a college where the curfew time for the girls is 8pm, and being a

useless slob,

I observe people.

I see a large number of guys who escort the girls back to the hostel, the moment the clock strikes 8. You should be there to believe it. It’s like a fish market. A huge horde of people, outside the Girl’s Hostel, trying their best to get lucky and see their loved ones for one last time before the hostel gates slam shut. I started wondering- “This is interesting. What qualities do Indian girls seek in a man? How many of these people satisfy the requirements?” Well… here goes.

The Ideal Situation –

Although women won’t admit it, this is what they really want. A total control over their man where they dominate every aspect of it. Okay, this might be taking it too far but who does not like being the one in control. In all ideal

relationships the remote control is in the girl's hand...we have to sneak up at night and remove the batteries.

This is how it has always been.

Now, who the hell am I to know what qualities women desire in men? Find me in the desirability chart below-

Now, just in the beginning of my twenties, I am hardly the best person to say what women want in men, since here I am, the least desirable Indian man, just below the dog with paw fungus. So if you want to be desirable to a woman (Indian) you have to be exactly opposite of what I am. So lets start with the list.

DO NOT BE IMMATURE AND HAVE AN INAPPROPRIATE SENSE OF HUMOR :

Even though this has worked in my favour, I would recommend against it. I am a somewhat plain looking man with a personality of a toilet brush.

(The only reason women have spoken to me and have let me be within 2 meters of their vicinity is my ability to make people laugh with my slightly inappropriate humor. This trait of mine has also somehow taken a backseat ever since I entered college. But that’s a whole new story altogether.

In conclusion, if you are ugly you better be funny. But that’s only as a last resort).

Do not be a slob who does nothing but watch tv shows, plays games and then blanks out.

Due to my inability to socialize much with people in college, I used to spend the majority of my time binge watching TV shows and playing videogames. Now obviously, that isn’t a trait women look for in an Indian man. So don’t do that.

Do not hate animals (Love them.....but have boundaries)

Girls love people who love animals.

Don’t be a guy who is too lazy to travel.

Being the average Bengali who’s extremely passionate about a lot of things, as long as it doesn’t involve me waking up before 8 in the morning,

travelling isn’t exactly my forte.

Indian girls dig men who love

to travel the world, and take her with them.

All this is great and idealistic and desired by girls in their late teens where they believe in the Knight in Shining Armor but this is what really happens

The qualities I mentioned are just some of the qualities I could think of. As we all know, it is extremely difficult to please an Indian woman.

P.S ->These answers are of semi-serious nature and not worth fighting for. Please have a sense of humor in this dark, dark world of ours filled with six fingered divorced superheroes and their their pedo alien friends. In these darkest hours …the greatest quality one can have is to laugh at themselves.