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Who Do You Trust?Who Do You Trust?Exchanging Passwords Can BeExchanging Passwords Can Be

a Dangerous Way to Show Ita Dangerous Way to Show It

By Paul AsayPosted: Jan. 23, 2012

What Happened: What Happened:

Tiffany Carandang had Tiffany Carandang had been with her boyfriend been with her boyfriend for months. They loved for months. They loved each other and trusted each other and trusted each other completely. each other completely. So it was only natural So it was only natural when they took the when they took the next natural step in next natural step in their relationship: their relationship:

They exchanged They exchanged Facebook passwords.Facebook passwords.

What Happened:What Happened:

““It’s a sign of trust,” Tiffany, a senior in high school, told It’s a sign of trust,” Tiffany, a senior in high school, told The New York Times.The New York Times. “I have nothing to hide from him, “I have nothing to hide from him, and he has nothing to hide from me.” and he has nothing to hide from me.”

What Happened:What Happened:

Sharing passwords to social networks or e-mail Sharing passwords to social networks or e-mail accounts is relatively common among serious accounts is relatively common among serious teen couples these days. For them, the teen couples these days. For them, the exchange is about trust and commitment. exchange is about trust and commitment.

Sam Biddle, who writes for the website Sam Biddle, who writes for the website Gizmodo, calls the practice (in the words of Gizmodo, calls the practice (in the words of the Times) the “linchpin of intimacy in the 21the Times) the “linchpin of intimacy in the 21stst century.” century.”

What Happened:What Happened:

Just as having sex outside of marriage, Just as having sex outside of marriage, sharing passwords comes with its own share sharing passwords comes with its own share of dangers. For one, some teens feel unduly of dangers. For one, some teens feel unduly pressured to share—much as they might be pressured to share—much as they might be pressured to sleep with someone. pressured to sleep with someone.

““The response is the same: If we’re in a The response is the same: If we’re in a relationship, you have to give me relationship, you have to give me something,” says author Rosalind Wiseman. something,” says author Rosalind Wiseman.

What Happened:What Happened:

Then there’s always the risk that if the Then there’s always the risk that if the relationship goes awry, a spurned boyfriend relationship goes awry, a spurned boyfriend or girlfriend might abuse his or her or girlfriend might abuse his or her password privileges—posting secrets or password privileges—posting secrets or slander on Facebook pages or playing havoc slander on Facebook pages or playing havoc with someone’s e-mail account.with someone’s e-mail account.

““I’ve known plenty of couples who have I’ve known plenty of couples who have shared passwords, and not a single one has shared passwords, and not a single one has not regretted it,” Biddle says. not regretted it,” Biddle says.

What Happened:What Happened:

It’s not just couples It’s not just couples exchanging exchanging passwords. Friends passwords. Friends sometimes swap sometimes swap them, too. The more them, too. The more folks who know folks who know someone’s password, someone’s password, the greater likelihood the greater likelihood there will be for it to there will be for it to be misused.be misused.

Talk About It:Talk About It:

Have you exchanged passwords with anyone? Have you exchanged passwords with anyone?

Who? Who?

A boyfriend or girlfriend? A boyfriend or girlfriend?

Another friend? Another friend?

Why? Why?

Have you ever felt pressured to swap Have you ever felt pressured to swap passwords? passwords?

Have you ever regretted giving your password Have you ever regretted giving your password to somebody? to somebody?

Talk About It:Talk About It:

Some parents, when they let their kids sign Some parents, when they let their kids sign up for a social networking account, often ask up for a social networking account, often ask them for their passwords. them for their passwords.

Have your parents done that? Have your parents done that?

Are you comfortable with them having it? Are you comfortable with them having it?

Do you feel that it’s an invasion of privacy? Do you feel that it’s an invasion of privacy?

Would you do the same with your kids?Would you do the same with your kids?

Talk About It:Talk About It:

How big a deal is it How big a deal is it to exchange to exchange passwords? passwords?

How much trust How much trust would you need to would you need to have in a person to have in a person to do so? do so?

Talk About It:Talk About It:

Most experts advise kids or teens never to give Most experts advise kids or teens never to give out their passwords to anyone other than their out their passwords to anyone other than their parents. Some teens never would anyway, not parents. Some teens never would anyway, not because they don’t trust their friends or because they don’t trust their friends or significant others, but because they like to draw significant others, but because they like to draw some boundaries and keep some areas of their some boundaries and keep some areas of their lives private. lives private.

How important is privacy to you? How important is privacy to you?

Do you think regardless of how much you love Do you think regardless of how much you love or trust someone that you still should have some or trust someone that you still should have some parts of your life that are just yours? parts of your life that are just yours?

What the Bible Says: What the Bible Says:

““Trust and privacy aren’t just big issues in Trust and privacy aren’t just big issues in our relationships here on earth. They’re our relationships here on earth. They’re critical when we’re talking about our critical when we’re talking about our relationship with God, too. He is the only One relationship with God, too. He is the only One we can fully trust.we can fully trust.

““I will put my trust in Him” I will put my trust in Him” (Heb. 2:13).(Heb. 2:13).

What the Bible Says:What the Bible Says:

““No password will keep our innermost thoughts or No password will keep our innermost thoughts or secret deeds from Him. secret deeds from Him.

““His eyes are on the ways of men; He sees their His eyes are on the ways of men; He sees their every step.every step.

““There is no dark place, no deep shadow” There is no dark place, no deep shadow” (Job (Job 34:22).34:22).