why is saying _i love you so hard

Why is saying "I love you so hard?"

http://hubpages.com/forum/topic/26789[4/3/2015 11:32:57 AM]


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Stevennix2001 posted 5 years ago

I always wondered why those little words effected people so much, so iask my fellow hubbers out there to tell me and try to answer thequestion, "why is saying i love you so hard?"

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Scott.Life posted 5 years ago in reply to this

Because once you say it you can't take it back and you just openedyourself up wide for good or bad.

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Stevennix2001 posted 5 years ago in reply to this

good point. i agree with that.

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Lyricsnlines posted 5 years ago in reply to this

Most of the time it's hard because it isn't love anyway it's lust. We mustunderstand that LOVE is an action word and NOT a feeling. When weare honest with ourselves we know that we don't love the person, wemight be fond of them, care about them, but not love them in theromantic sense of the word.

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Madame X posted 5 years ago in reply to this

Bingo

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Stimp posted 5 years ago in reply to this

This depends on who you are saying it to. If a boyfriend/girlfriend forwhom you are unsure of your feelings....yes, think 'er through. Kids,family, especially need to hear that. I grew up not hearing those wordsand it was very difficult for me to say that UNTIL I married a man whosaid it consistently to his children...for good or bad. I can NOW saythose words to my parents and accept those words back without wantingto crawl out of my skin. It is what it is...

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Pearldiver posted 5 years ago in reply to this

Thanks but No thanks! Not into beard rash mate! Hope you don't mind the comments? They're coming from people whoDON'T Have a Problem Expressing themselves!

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rebekahELLE posted 5 years ago in reply to this

I thought I was going to bed...

PD brings up a very good point. some people express themselves mucheasier than others. some may value saying that much more than otherswho take it more lightly.

now I'm going to bed.

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pauls_boat posted 5 years ago in reply to this

becouse to tell some one you love them you have to understand themfirst also to love some one you have to love all of them not just the goodparts and love is for life.

before i tell anyone i love them i have to get to know them fully andthen it takes me a long time to accept that i love them with all therefaults i loved my wife and even though she left me for some one else andare divorced for 8 years i still love her and want her to be happy.

to many people say i love you when they dont mean it they just thinkthey like some on at the time.

many people say it was love at first site when they mean it was lust atfirst site and love came later when they got to know and understandeach other.

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Poppa Blues posted 5 years ago in reply to this

Oh it's not hard to say that at all! It's much, much harder to mean it andto know what it means!

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Himitsu Shugisha posted 5 years ago in reply to this

There have been some really good points written, but in my opinion, loveis easy to say if it's true in your heart.

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the Blue sun posted 5 years ago in reply to this

Well I say saying an doing is one thing.But it is hard for anyone to say those affectionate words, Why its sohard? Maybe your not saying it enough try saying it more often, if youdon't you just might get face mask. Be ready to get penalize it happens tothe best of us.Don't just take my advice believe, that you can say it takea deep breath especialy if its your wife. So take that under heavyconsideration they say practice makes perfected........ the BlueSun..................

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sudeep13582 posted 4 years ago in reply to this

I think most of the people who wanna say this, dont actually love fromheart.. so they cant get that confidence

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Brenda Durham posted 4 years ago in reply to this

Saying "I love you" is hard sometimes because people often think thatbecause I love them I also love everything they do unconditionally, orthat I MUST love everything about them in order to love them.

Err...Stevennix, saying "I love you so hard" is.......umm.....a differentstory. Your mis-placement of the quotation marks is distracting. LOL

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Oh sorry. I guess I probably should've edited the titled before submittingit. sorry brenda. lol. thanks for answering anyways.

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Crazdwriter posted 5 years ago

I think Scott said it best You are nervous and scared...you do the what if game a lot to yourselfbefore you actually say it. what if I say this will he/she say it back? willthey be scared of me, hate me? etc etc...takes a lot of courage to say thosewords to someone you truly care about.

Except for saying it to your family

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A Texan posted 5 years ago


Because I don't love you!

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thanks. i don't love you either, so we're even.

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tony0724 posted 5 years ago

And also once you declare your love for someone , whether you like it ornot there is gonna be some responsibility involved and completecommitment .That Is a tall order !

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Dale Mazurek posted 5 years ago

22 years ago I told a great girl that I love her. 22 years later she is mywife and I have told her the same words over and over on a daily basis.

For me saying I love you to my beautiful wife is the easiest thing because

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she makes it so easy for me.

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It's always easy when the love of your life loves you back

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mega1 posted 5 years ago in reply to this

It took her 22 years to decide to marry you?

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sudeep13582 posted 4 years ago in reply to this

lolz

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wyanjen posted 5 years ago

I don't plan on saying those words again ever. Ever.I won't let myself be that vulnerable.

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tony0724 posted 5 years ago in reply to this

To quote a friend of mine : If you do not take a chance , you don,t haveone !

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Not always easy but definitely worth it when you finally meet the rightperson

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wyanjen posted 5 years ago in reply to this

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That is a nice thought But I'm finished up. Been demolished

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Black Lilly posted 5 years ago in reply to this

1. Never say never 2. It's very good you do not PLAN to say those words again. That mightonly mean that you WILL say them 3. Time heals all wounds, however deep.

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Cagsil posted 5 years ago in reply to this

No! No! No!

Love is never to be given up.

Those who do give up on love, don't stand a chance against life'scruelness. That connection is a must, if you want experience life to thefullest and honestly say to yourself that you've always given 100% ofyourself to search for love.

In the end, you'll find it and probably in the most of unlikely place ortime. But, you will find it.

Don't shut people out, because once you do, it's hard to let even friendsor family get close, and that's never good.

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Obviously you can't spew the "I love you" to everyone you meet. And,regardless of whether one says I love you or not, the vulnerability willalways be there in other areas. I have found that when I REALLY lovesomeone....it's an urge to say it rather than a requirement. I tell myfriends that I love them all the time, no I'm not gay and even if I were....Iwant them to know that my life would not be the same without them. And, lets face it when they walk out the door I may never see themagain. I had two near death experiences last year. Thankfully, I'm hereto tell the story. When they read the story, they cry because they realizehow close they came to losing someone they care about. Just a thought. I wish you well

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Ghost32 posted 5 years ago in reply to this

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Wyanjen, you're clearly a much quicker student than I am. Although ittook me until my 7th wife (Pam) to hit the Marital Jackpot, I've notfound those words hard to say for quite a long time.

But 'twas not always the case. I well recall getting "burned" a number oftimes in my dating years (16-21) and refusing to allow myself to "feel"for the girl who eventually became my (first) wife of some 8 years. Everytime we got together in the early goings, I'd "gauge" how far she seemedto fallen for me...and then allow myself to fall "just not quite that far". Ido believe it was quite a long time before I could say those words to her.

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Rochelle Frank posted 5 years ago

It's not that hard, if it's true.

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yeah, me neither. it seems like every girl i ever say those words too neverreturns them back or there's some circumstances that prevents us frombeing together. thats why i say i think love is about trial and error. youhave to go through a lot of heartache before you meet the person youbelong with.

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I've learned in emotional matters not to take stuff personally. If they areincapable of parroting it back....that's not YOUR problem, it's theirs. People say and do what they need to in order to "self preserve" andusually that has nothing to do with anyone around them. I hope thatmakes sense. Hang in and peace out!!

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Pearldiver posted 5 years ago

Goodnight rebakahELLE. Thanks

@ Stevennix.... This is a Very Strange Question to Ask; Coming from aguy All Lined Up and Ready to Gallop!

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umm...im not sure if i understand what you mean though buddy. whatare you trying to say?

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Have a look at your avatar from our side You look like you're ready for a commited getaway!

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yeah, your right, i really do need to change that stupid thing sometime.

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prettydarkhorse posted 5 years ago

if i say that word, I will be totally committed and I will give my all, it isjust hard to say when you dont feel it! I said it before once and it hurtslike "hell" as they say. I will say that again for the last chance if ever andI hope it will be forever!

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Just Pwetend PDH

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prettydarkhorse posted 5 years ago in reply to this

LOL< cant pretend though!

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lol. i could make a clever joke about that, but i don't want to offendanyone here.

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Yep.. Close your Eyes.... It's Daniel-Day-Louis

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ok, LOL< you are really making me laugh...

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maybe he wouldnt smell like an englishman, I will know the smell ofHIM! in my dreams

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REALLY??? Sooooooooo... you can pwetend

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but D Day Lewis is already married cant still pretend

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Phoooooey!!! A Minor Inconvenience!! Don't let that get in the way of araunchy dream

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earnestshub posted 5 years ago

It's not hard, it is hard to be sure you are correct in doing so though!

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prettydarkhorse posted 5 years ago

g'nite everyone and I hope everyone can say those words, everybodydeserves somebody to love and somebody who will love them!

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floating mind posted 5 years ago

Just know yourself. Trust your heart, and trust your mind. You'll knowwhen the time is right. If you have mixed emotions saying I Love Youto someone, then maybe it's not the right time or person to say it to!

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carolina muscle posted 5 years ago

I think this may be because we're not sure exactly what love is... andmost of us don't want to say something like that lightly.

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Cagsil posted 5 years ago

You can take my advice how ever you like. I realize we've recently hadwords, but regardless, I'd like to help.

Why is saying "I Love You" so hard?

I've truly loved 3 women in my life(I'm 41) and I can honestly say - to beable to love another person, you must love yourself, in all aspects.

There can be a multiple of reasons, for why you have trouble saying it.

Is it fear of commitment?

Or never loved anyone before?

Those are the only two based causes for a person to have a problem withsaying "I Love You".

If you have any fear(insecurity) with regards to the relationship, then itplays a factor. A relationship cannot have doubts of any kind, before youcan achieve "I Love You" stage. The relationship require 100% trust,honesty and communication. Without it, fear(insecurity) will make hardto commit. That goes for both- man and woman.

If you never loved anyone before, then once your at a reasonably safecomfort zone and just thinking about your partner, twists you inknots(good way) and your partner feels the same- there is connectionwhich will feel natural. Then you'll say it.

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Either way, sooner or later, you will say it to someone. Love is foreveryone - it's not exclusive to any one individual. Just the feelings theyexperience are exclusive to them.

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Crazdwriter posted 5 years ago

I LOVE YOU! not so hard

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i guess saying it is easier for some people then.

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Cagsil posted 5 years ago in reply to this

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Naomi R. Cox posted 5 years ago

Some of us have been hurt by those words. We give our love so freely tothe people we care about, then have it thrown back in our face. A wallwill be built around our heart and no one can get through it until theright person comes along, believe me they will come along and you willknow it. Then those three little words won't be that hard to say.

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Dee Dee MonSherie posted 5 years ago

For you who have a hard time saying "I Love You" when you have thetrue feelings for someone, start small, tell your puppy, tell yourself in themirror every time you do something well. Then write it in a card tosomeone, ..not "Luv Ya!" but "the reason I Love you is..." Then maybesay it during a phone call...by the time you see your love again, look intotheir smiling eyes...it will probably bubble out easy as ice cream!

I Love You!

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wow, that is really good advice.

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Dee Dee MonSherie posted 5 years ago in reply to this

Thanks, Steven...got to go now, read acouple hubs then to sleep, have agreat night all!:0

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you too. feel free to drop by anytime.

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Dame Scribe posted 5 years ago

Practice makes perfect

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B.C. BOUTIQUE posted 5 years ago

its not hard to say at all if you really, truely , mean it..but never say itunless you man it ..then your lookin for trouble...

advice from someoe who knows, I wont go into it, but just trust me onthis one dear

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oh okay. thanks for the tip bc

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lyricsingray posted 5 years ago

If it's hard then you don't need to say I love you

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bukan posted 5 years ago in reply to this

Right!!

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H.C Porter posted 5 years ago

Saying I love you can be hard if when you say the words you actuallymean them-I say this because, if you mean them and say them, you openyourself up to another persons ridicule and judgments. If you love thewrong person-those three words give them an in to tear you down fromthe inside out. The people that we love have the ability to hurt us theworst-Perhaps you are afraid of the idea of giving someone this power bysaying I love you?

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Himitsu Shugisha posted 5 years ago

Love is about letting go. And in order to truly love someone, one must bewilling to open themselves up to hurt.

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tantrum posted 5 years ago in reply to this

You're an extremist !

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what masochist?

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Anath posted 4 years ago in reply to this

send it to me ;-)

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myownworld posted 5 years ago

when you find someone you truly love and connect with, its the mostnatural thing in the world to say 'I love you' to them....in fact, the harder

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part is that even those three words fall short!!

(...if anything, u seek more words and ways to express your love...justwait till it happens!)

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the Blue sun posted 5 years ago in reply to this

I qoute you on this, maybe if both is willing to say this more often hey itwouldn't be so hard lets heat it up and say do or die. Its either love areits nothing lets face it this is reality love can be sweet or sour the onewho love the most sometimes win at the end.Some of us use love as amaricle cure believe in it because its not here on its own................theBlue Sun..............THANK YOU FOR READING................

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habee posted 5 years ago

It's never hard for me to say. There are lots of people I love, so I say it allthe time!

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poetlorraine posted 5 years ago

it was something that was never said to me as a child, so i could not sayit, still find it hard actually, it's almost like giving a little of yourselfaway...... it makes me feel vunrable, if anyone says it to me, it warms myheart

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Kristie91 posted 5 years ago

Because you want to be certain that you mean it.You don't want to get caught up in loving someone that means nothingto you.and often people want the other to say it first so when they say it andopen up they don't get crushed.

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gracenotes posted 5 years ago

It's hard for me to say it. I suspect it's the case with anyone who grewup in a family where it wasn't voiced over and over again. Duringmarriage, it seemed strange to me, but I learned to say it to my husband.

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But just because I came from a family like that, doesn't mean I didn't getplenty of physical affection. My parents were lavish with that.

Frankly, the physical touch means more, so much more, than just thewords "I love you." If it makes sense at all, I am also an introvert, andintroverts do not like redundancies and stating the obvious too much. Actions speak far louder than words, as far as I am concerned.

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alexandriaruthk posted 5 years ago

because it is hard to really live up to the essence of a true love

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Arisha Jones posted 5 years ago

i think the first comment describes it the best..........saying I love youmeans letting all your defenses and guards down in front of a personwhom you yourself has given the complete authority of breaking yourheart with just one word" no".hey who wants that!!!

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efeguy posted 5 years ago

its simple if it comes from the mind.but today all will have are lips lovehence it is hard to say

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tritrain posted 4 years ago

How do you respond?

I love you harder?

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damian0000 posted 4 years ago

Cos men are afraid of the terrible "c" word....

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schoolgirlforreal posted 4 years ago



It's hard to say sometimes if you think you won't get it back,,,or if youare w/ someone who doesn't say it much....then it kinda takes guts

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Loveslove posted 4 years ago

Some people find it easy to say those 3 words..but some cant say themfor various reasons..maybe they havnt had a loving upbringing or justdont wear their heart on their sleeve,but if someone loves you then thewords are not important,a look ,a kiss , a tender touch a surprise gift ,would tell you what you want to know without a word being spoken .

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smelloftruth posted 4 years ago

It's just the way we brought up in the family. If "I love you" is frequentlysaid in your home then chances are you have no problem telling that toyour love one.

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Loveslove posted 4 years ago

Precisley...I grew up with those words all the time..my dad never left thehouse without saying them to my mum.

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evashkurti posted 4 years ago

Its hard because we expect the same thing back. It is human nature tohave that mutual feeling, when you love someone you're afraid to tellthem, because we fear rejection and we feel like we just put ourselves outthere. It is very challenging to control your thoughts and feelings. In myopinion to give love and not to expect anything back is great and such awonderful feeling. Don't be afraid to let someone that you love them, orcare about them! Only the foolish will laugh or look down on you!

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R3dcougar posted 4 years ago

Why would you want to say "I LOVE YOU SO HARD" to someone??

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