willow brook road - droppdf1.droppdf.com/.../qm97n/willow-brook-road-sherryl-woods.pdf · 2015. 10....
TRANSCRIPT
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#1NewYorkTimesbestsellingauthorSherrylWoodssweepsreadersawaywiththestoryofabelovedmemberoftheO’Brienfamilyassheclaimsthelifeshe’salwaysdreamedof
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Spirited,spontaneousCarrieWintershasgrownupunderthewatchfuleyesofnotonlyhergrandfatherMickO’Brien,buttheentiretownofChesapeakeShores.
Nowthatshe’shomefromEurope,aglamorousfashioncareerbehindherandherheartbroken,thereseemtobefartoomanypeoplewatchingtoseeifshe’llliveuptothe
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expectationsherfamilyhasforher.
Asifthatweren’tenoughpressure,Carriefindsherselfdrawntosexy,grief-strickenSamWinslow,whoisyearningforsomeonetohelphimraisethenephewwho’sunexpectedlycomeintohislifeafteratragedy.
Withherownlifeinturmoil,
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isCarriereallyreadytotakeonanewcareerandanewman?OrisSamexactlywhatsheneedstocreatethestrong,lovingfamilyshe’salwayswanted?
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Praisefor#1NewYorkTimes
bestsellingauthorSherrylWoods
“SherrylWoodswritesemotionallysatisfyingnovelsaboutfamily,friendshipand
home.Trulyfeel-greatreads!”
—#1NewYorkTimesbestselling
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authorDebbieMacomber
“LaunchingtheChesapeakeShoresseries,Woodscreates
anengrossing…familydrama.”
—PublishersWeeklyonTheInnatEaglePoint
“Sparksflyinalivelytalethatisoverflowingwith
familyconflictandwarmth
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andthepossibilityofrekindledlove.”
—LibraryJournalonFlowersonMain
“Warm,complex,andsatisfying.”
—LibraryJournalonHarborLights
“Suretosatisfy.”
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—PublishersWeeklyonAChesapeakeShoresChristmas
“Woods’samazinggraspofhumannatureandthe
emotionsthatliedeepwithinusmakethisstory
universal…thislatestnovelintheChesapeakeShoresseries
doesnotdisappoint.”—RTBookReviewsonDriftwood
Cottage
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“Onceagain,Woods,withsuchauthenticity,weavesataleoftrueloveandthe
challengesthatcanknockupagainstthatlove.”
—RTBookReviewsonBeachLane
“Engagingandsatisfying…Asweet,affectingholiday-
themedread.”—KirkusReviewsonASeaside
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Christmas
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Alsoby#1NewYorkTimesbestsellingauthorSherryl
Woods
ChesapeakeShores
DogwoodHillTheChristmasBouquetASeasideChristmasTheSummerGarden
AnO’BrienFamilyChristmasBeachLane
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MoonlightCoveDriftwoodCottageAChesapeakeShores
ChristmasHarborLightsFlowersonMain
TheInnatEaglePoint
TheSweetMagnolias
SwanPointWhereAzaleasBloom
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CatchingFirefliesMidnightPromisesHoneysuckleSummerSweetTeaatSunriseHomeinCarolinaWelcometoSerenityFeelsLikeFamilyASliceofHeavenStealingHome
TheDevaneyBrothers
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TheDevaneyBrothers:Daniel
TheDevaneyBrothers:MichaelandPatrickTheDevaneyBrothers:
RyanandSean
OceanBreeze
SeaGlassIslandWindChimePointSandCastleBay
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RoseCottageSisters
ReturntoRoseCottageHomeatRoseCottage
TrinityHarbor
AlongCameTroubleAskAnyone
AboutThatMan
ForacompletelistofalltitlesbySherrylWoods,
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visitwww.sherrylwoods.com.
Lookfor#1NewYorkTimesbestsellingauthorSherryl
Woods’sTheChristmasBouquet
availablesooninpaperbackfromMIRABooks
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SHERRYLWOODS
WillowBrookRoad
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DearFriends,
Iusuallyusethisspacetogiveyoualittlebackgroundonthestoryyou’reabouttoread.ThistimeIhopeyou’llindulgemeasIthanksomefolkswho’vemadeitpossibleformetowritethemany,manybooksyou’vereadthroughtheyears.
Almostfromthevery
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beginningIhaveworkedwiththeverysavvyDeniseMarcil,whosededicationasmyagenthasmadeheranincrediblebusinesspartner.ShehadfaithwhenmineflaggedandacalminginfluencewhenIwasontheedgeofsomewritingcliff.Noonecouldhaveworkedharderormadethislongcareerasmuchfun.
I’vebeenblessedwithso
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manyfabulouseditorsthroughtheyearsaswell,womenwho’vegentlynudgedmetocreatebetterandbetterstories.LuciaMacrostartedmycareerwithSilhouettewaybackinthe’80s.JoanGolanguidedmethroughliterallydozensofbooks.NowIhavetheabsolutepleasureofworkingwithMargaretO’NeillMarburyforthesecondtime.
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I’mabetterwriterbecauseofthemandtoomanyotherstoname(therehavebeen140-plusbooks,afterall).
Onceabookispolishedtoperfection—orasneartothatasweeverget—it’sinthehandsofthepublisherandsalesteam.I’veworkedwithseveral,butnosalesforcecouldbemoredeterminedorenthusiasticthanthemenand
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womenatHarlequin.Gettingthesebookswhereyoucanfindthemisatoughjob,andthey’retheverybestatit.Theyhavemyundyinggratitude!
TherearedozensofothersI’dliketothank,includingfamilyandfriends,butI’llusethislastlittlebitofspacetothankyou!Youremailsandlettersmeantheworldto
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me.AndI’vealwaystriedtokeepyouinmindwitheverypageIwrite.Blessyouforthesupportandloveyou’veshown.
Allbestasalways,
Sherryl
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Contents
Chapter1
Chapter2
Chapter3
Chapter4
Chapter5
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Chapter6
Chapter7
Chapter8
Chapter9
Chapter10
Chapter11
Chapter12
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Chapter13
Chapter14
Chapter15
Chapter16
Chapter17
Chapter18
Chapter19
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Chapter20
Chapter21
Chapter22
Chapter23
Epilogue
ExcerptfromDogwoodHillbySherrylWoods
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1
TheoriginalMickO’Brien–designedcottageonWillowBrookRoadhadbeenbuiltwithweatheredgrayshingles,whitetrimandatinybackporchbarelybigenoughfortworockerssidebyside.TheyfacedWillowBrook,
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whichfedintotheChesapeakeBay.Thebackyardslopedgentlytothebrook,withthegracefulbranchesofatrademarkweepingwillowtouchingthelawnatthewater’sedge.Thepeacefulsettingwasjustrightforquietconversationorrelaxingwithagoodbook.Infrontthecottage
featuredasmallyardwithanactualwhitepicketfenceand
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aclimbingyellowrosebushthattumbledoveritwithaprofusionoffragrantblooms.Brightredandhot-pinkgeraniumsfilledpotsonthestoopinavibrantdisplayofclashingcolors.Thepropertyoozedpicturesquecharm.Withthreecozybedrooms
andafireplaceinthelivingroomandasurprisinglylargeeat-inkitchen,itwastheperfectChesapeakeShores
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vacationgetawayorastarterhomeforasmallfamily,butCarrieWintershadbeenlivingtherealoneandatlooseendsforalmostsixmonthsnow.Theonlypersonaltouchshe’daddedbeyondthemismatchedfurnitureshe’dacquiredfromvariousfamilyatticswastheportraitofthewholeO’BrienfamilytakenattheChristmasweddingofhertwin,Caitlyn.
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Thesedays,sittinginoneofthoserockersformorethanaminuteortwomadeherantsy.Aftertwoyearsinapressure-cookerpublicrelationsjobatwhichshe’dexcelled,beingidlewasanewexperience,andoneshedidn’tparticularlylike.Shewastoodistractedforreadinganythingdeeperthanthelocalweeklynewspaper.Andthoughshelovedtocook,
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makingfancymealsforonepersonjustleftherfeelinglonely.Worstofall,sheseemed
incapableofmotivatingherselftogetoutofthisfunkshe’dbeenineversincecominghome.ChesapeakeShoresmightbewhereshewanted—orevenneeded—tobeasshetriedtopieceherlifebacktogetherandreevaluateherpriorities,butit
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hadcreateditsownsortofpressure.Whiletherestofthe
O’Brienclanwasunmistakablyworriedabouther,hergrandfatherMickwasborderingonfrantic.O’Briensdidnotwastetimeorwallowinself-pity,whichwasexactlywhatCarriehadbeendoingeversincethebreakupofherlastrelationship.Timedto
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coincidewiththecrash-and-burndemolitionofhercareerinthefashionindustry,thecombinationhadsentherfleeingfromParisandstraightbacktoherlovingfamily.Carriesighedandtooka
firstsipoftheoneglassofwinesheallowedherselfattheendoftheday.Wallowingwasonething.Gettingtipsyallalonewas
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somethingelseentirely.Evenshewaswiseenoughtoseethat.AnimageofMarc
Reynolds,thefashion-worldiconshe’dthoughtsheloved,creptintoherhead,asitdidaboutahundredtimesaday.Thatwasdownfromaboutamillionwhenshe’dfirstflownhomefromEuropeafterthebreakup.Ifitcouldevenbecalledthat,she
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thoughtwryly.Truthfully,she’dfinallyrealizedthatMarcthoughtofhermoreasaconvenientbedpartnerandworkhorsewhosepublicrelationseffortsforhisfashionempirehadhelpedtoputitonthefasttracktointernationalacclaim.Unbeknownsttoher,hisheartapparentlybelongedtoashe-devil,self-absorbedmodelwhotreatedhimlikedirt.
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Carriecouldrelate,sinceMarchadprettymuchdonethesametoher.Shewasstillstrugglingtounderstandhowherjudgmentcouldpossiblyhavebeensocloudedthatshehadn’tseenthatsooner.Surelythesignshadbeenthere.Hadshebeensobesottedshe’dmissedthem?Ifso,howcouldshepossiblytrustherinstinctsaboutamanagain?
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Notthatshewasgoingtoletthatbeanissueanytimesoon.Shewasswearingoffthemaleofthespeciesuntilshefiguredoutwhoshewasandwhatshetrulywanted.Attherateshewasprogressingonthatfront,itcouldtakeyears.Enough!shetoldherself
firmly,carryingheralmost-fullglassinsideandsteppingoverascatteringoftoysas
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shewent.Shesmiledasshepickedupafloppy-earedbunnyandsetitgentlyinachair.Astackofchildren’spicturebookssatonanearbytable.Takingcareofhertwin
sister’slittleboy,JacksonMcIlroy,wasabouttheonlythingthatgaveherasenseoffulfillmentthesedays.WithCaitlynservingamedicalinternshipatJohnsHopkins,
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andCaitlyn’shusband,Noah,runninganincreasinglybusyfamilymedicinepracticehereintown,Carriehadvolunteeredforday-caredutywhenevertheyneededher.Moreandmoreoftenthey’dcometorelyonher,whichsuitedherjustfine,butseemedtobemakingeveryoneelseinherdrivenfamilyalittlecrazy.Babysittingwasn’t
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consideredasuitablecareergoalforthegranddaughterofthetown’sfounder.Shepickedupafewmore
toys,puttheminthebrightlycoloredtoyboxshe’dpaintedherselfoneparticularlydrearywinterday,thengrabbedherpurseandwalkedintotown.TenminuteslatershewasatO’Brien’s,theIrishpubhersecondcousinLukehadopenedafewyearsback.She
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knewshe’dfindagoodmealthere,evenifitcamewithaservingoffamilymeddlingfromwhicheverO’Brienhappenedtobearound.Whenshewalkedinthe
door,shewasstartledtofinditmostlyempty.“Hey,Carrie,”Lukesaid,
automaticallypouringaglassofwhitewineforher.“Whereiseverybody?”she
asked,asshesettledona
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stoolinfrontofthemagnificentoldbarthatLukehadfoundinIrelandandshippedhometobethecenterpieceofhispub.“It’sbarelyfiveo’clock,”
hepointedout.“We’llbefillingupsoon.”Carrieglancedatherwatch
andgroaned.Today—adaywithoutthebabytowatch—hadbeenendless.Apparentlyitwasn’tclosetobeingover,
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either.“CanIaskyoua
question?”shesaid,asLukepolishedglasswareandreadiedthebarforthisevening’sbusiness.Hestudiedherfacefora
moment,thencamearoundthebarandsatdownbesideher,givingherhisfullattention.“What’sonyourmind?”“Youweretheyoungestin
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mymom’sgeneration,right?”“Oh,yeah,”heconfirmed.“Didyoufeelpressuredto
accomplishsomething?”Helaughed.“Areyou
kiddingme?”“Notevenalittlebit,”she
saidseriously.“Youknowallthis,butlet
meremindyou.BythetimeIfinishedcollege,yourmomwasafinancialsuccessstoryonWallStreet.Kevinhad
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servedinthemilitary,thenjumpedontothebandwagontopreservethebaywithUncleThomas.ConnorwasahotshotdivorcelawyerinBaltimore.Breehadopenedasuccessfulflowershop,thenalocaltheater,whereshe’snowwritinganddirectingtocriticalacclaim.AndJesswasbarelyintohertwentiesandalreadyturningtheInnatEaglePointintoasuccessful
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regionaldestination.”Heallowedthattosinkin,
thenadded,“That’swhatIwasupagainst.Ontopofthat,mybrotherstartedworkingwithUncleMickasanarchitectstraightoutofcollege,andmysisterisallbutrunningtherealestatebusinesshereintownwithmydad.O’Briensseemedtoknowwhattheywantedinthewomb,allofthemexcept
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me.”“Andme,”Carrie
lamented.“Funnyhowyouweretheyoungestandfeltlost.CaitandIaretheoldestinourgeneration.Sherecognizedherdestinyevenbeforeshegotoutofhighschool.She’sdeterminedtobeadoctorandsavetheworld.Notevenmarriageandababyhavederailedherplans.”
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Lukegrinned.“Andyourgoalsaren’tthatlofty?”“I’mnotsureIevenhave
goals,”sheadmitted.“IthoughtIdid.IenjoyedPRworkwellenough.Iwasgoodatit,too.AndIlikedbeinginthefashionindustry,butthatwasmoreaboutbeingwithMarcthanthework.Itdidn’tbreakmyheartwhenanotherjobinfashiondidn’tmaterializerightaway.
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WorkingwithhimiswhatImissmost,sothatmustbetellingmesomething.”Lukestudiedherwitha
commiseratinglook.“Haveyoufiguredoutthemessage?”Sheshrugged.“Nope.AllI
knowisthatIhatebeingatlooseends.”“Whataboutthattripyou
tookwithUncleMicktoAfrica?Anyinspiration
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there?”Hergrandparentshadgone
toAfricatocheckoutseveralvillagesindireneedofmedicalhelp,especiallysincetheoutbreakofEbolahadhadsuchadevastatingimpact.MickhadbeendraftedbyCaitandadoctorinBaltimoreintodesigningsmallmedicalfacilitiesforthevillagestoprovidethecaretheysodesperately
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needed.Ithadbeenaneye-openingtripwithanidealisticmissionsheadmired.“Sure.Itmademerealize
howluckywe’veallbeen.I’vedonatedatonofmoneyfrommytrustfundtothecausebecauseI’veseenfirsthandhowworthwhileitis,butIdon’twanttoreturn,notthewayCait’schompingatthebittogo.ShewassoenviousthatIgottogowith
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GrandpaMickandGrandmaMegan.Me?”Sheshookherhead.“Icouldhardlywaittogetbackhome.”“TheStates?”“NotjusttheStates,but
here,backinChesapeakeShores.IthoughtonceIgothereeverythingwouldmagicallybecomecleartome.”Lukegaveheralong,
consideringlook.“Haveyou
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thoughtaboutstayinghere,Carrie?Reallythoughtaboutit?Ialwaysknewthistownwasrightforme.ItwasjustabouttheonlythingIdidknow,butyou’velivedinalotofexcitingcities—NewYork,Milan,Paris.AreyouabsolutelycertainChesapeakeShoresisbigenoughforyou?”Shefrownedatthe
question,whichseemedto
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suggestashallownessshedidn’tappreciate.Shedidn’tneedglitzandglamour.Shereallydidn’t.She’dhadatasteofit.Thathadbeenenough.“Whatdoyoumean?”she
challenged.“Thisishomeforme,Luke,thesameasitisforyou.”“Ifyousayso,”hesaid,his
doubtsstillevident.“Idosayso.”
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“YouwereborninNewYork,”heremindedher.“Youwenttocollegethere,too,andtraveledallovertheworldwhenyouwereworkinginfashion.I’veonlybeentoIreland,wherethingswereprettylaid-back,especiallyinthesmallervillages,butIimaginethelifestylehereisverydifferentfromtheglamorousplacesyou’veseeninFranceand
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Italy.It’sdefinitelyaworldawayfromthehustleandbustleofNewYork.”Thoughherinstinctwasto
counterLuke’sobviousskepticismwithcompletecertainty,shetookasipofherwineandactuallygavethequestionsomethought.“Itisdifferent,butina
goodway,”sherepliedslowly,tryingtoputhergutfeelingsintowords.“The
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paceisslower.Thevaluesaredifferent.Familyreallycountsforsomething.Momsawthat.SheleftNewYorkandbroughtmeandCaitlynbackhere.”“Becauseshewasinlove
withTrace,”Lukesaid.Carriesighed.“Yes,Trace
didplayabigpartinherdecision,butshe’sbeenhappybeinghome.She’dtellyouthat.She’sfiguredout
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howtobalancethecareershelovesandthefamilyshelovesevenmore.”“Balanceisimportant,”
Lukeagreed,thengaveheranotherofhisannoyinglonglooks.“Whatdoyouenvisiondoingwithyourlifehere?Iknowtheambitiongenecan’tpossiblyhaveskippedoveryoucompletely.AllO’Brienshaveit.”“Notme,”sheadmittedas
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ifitwereacrime.Lukewasrightaboutonething—O’Brienswereexpectedtobeexcellentmultitaskers,and,despiteherlastnamebeingWinters,shewasanO’Brienthroughandthrough.Lukehadbroughttheconversationfullcircle,rightbacktothosegoalsthatseemedtobeeludingher.She’dbeensoblastedluckyherentirelife.Whatrightdidshehaveto
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complainaboutanunexpectedbumpintheroad?“AllIeverreallywanted
wastobeawifeandmom,”shetoldhercousin.Shemadetheadmissioninahushedvoice,asifitweresomesortofcrimetowantsolittleforherself.WhenLukedidn’treactas
ifshewerecrazy,shecontinued,“Gramwasmyrolemodel.Nellmadeareal
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homeforMomandhersiblingsafterGrandpaMickandGrandmaMegansplitup.Ialwayssawmyselfdoingthatsamething—cooking,baking,nurturingmykids—righthere,surroundedbyfamily.AllthroughcollegeIkeptexpectingtomeetsomeoneandfallinlove.Ipracticallymadeacareeroutofdating.IthoughtforsureI’dgetamarriagelicense
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fifteenminutesafterIpickedupmydiploma.”Shesighedagain.“That
wastheplan,butitneverhappened.ThenImetMarcandthoughthewastheone.Ofcourse,hewasthelastmanonearthwho’deverbehappyinasmalltown,soIhavenoideahowIexpectedhimtofitintomydream.”“Everheardof
compromise?”Lukeasked
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withasmile.“FromMarc?Notlikely.”“Howaboutyou?”“Fortherightman,sure,”
shesaidglibly,thenwondered.“Okay,you’reright.Ican’tsettle.Itwouldneverwork.IwantwhatMomandTracehave,whatBreehaswithJakeandGrandpaMickhasfoundwithGrandmaMegannowthatthey’rebacktogether.Iwant
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thewholehappily-ever-afterthing.”“Soyoucan’tsettleand
youclaimyoudon’tcareaboutacareer,”Lukesummedup.“Youhaveyourselfarealdilemma.”“Isn’tthatwhatI’vebeen
tryingtotellyou?”shesaidinfrustration.“Maybeyouneedtofocus,
picktheareaofyourlifethatmattersthemosttoyou,the
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oneoverwhichyouhavesomecontrol.”Shesmiledatthat.
O’Briensdidlovetocontrolthings.Hergrandfatherwasamasteratthatandhe’dinstilledthatstubborn,we’re-capable-of-anythingstreakinallofthem.“We’vealreadyconcluded
thatIcan’tcontrolwhenoriftherightmanmightcomealong,andIhavenocareer
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goals,atleastnotthekindI’mpassionateabout,”sheremindedhimyetagain.“Ithinkyou’remakingthis
toocomplicated,”Lukesuggested.“Stopfrettingaboutacareer,ifthat’snotwhatyoucareabout.Putitonthebackburner.Getoutthereandstartdating.Therearesinglemeninhereeverynightoftheweek.I’llfixyouup.Whenwasthelasttime
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youwentonadate?Thepathtomarriagegenerallystartswithafirstdate.”“SoI’veheard,”shesaid,
thoughrandomdatingdidn’tappealtoher.She’ddonethatallthroughcollegetonoavail.Besides,she’dswornoffmenuntilshefiguredouthowshe’dbeensowrongaboutMarc,howshe’dmisjudgedhisvaluesandhisfeelings.
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ButLukewasrightaboutonething.Shedidneedsomesortofsociallifebeforeshewentcompletelystir-crazy.“Howaboutthis?Idon’twanttobefixedup,butthenexttimeI’minhere,ifthere’saniceguyaround,introduceus.Womenandmencanbefriends,right?That’snotabadstartingpoint.”“Ihavemydoubtsabout
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menandwomenbeingpals,butit’sdefinitelyastart,”Lukesaid.“Ipredictyou’llbemarriedinnotime,withahalfdozenkidsunderfoot.”Asalluringasthatimage
was,Carriecouldseethedownside.“CanyoupicturewhatGrandpaMickwillhavetosayaboutthat?Helovesallhisgrandchildrenandgreat-grandchildren,butheexpectsmorefromus.”
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“Forgetyourgrandfather.Thisisaboutwhatyouwant.YouknowNellwillbeonyourside.”Carriesmiled.“Sureshe
will,butshe’llbestandingthereallalone.GrandpaMickwillbehorrified.Sowilljustabouteveryoneelse.EvenMomandTracewillthinkI’mwastingmypotential.”“Thisisaboutyou,
though,”Lukeargued.“And
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aboutwhatwillmakeyouhappy.Whenitcomesdowntoit,Ithinkthat’swhattheytrulywantforallofus.Asappalledasmydadwasbytheideaofthispub,hegotonboardwhenhesawhowmuchitmeanttome.Treatthewholemarriagethingasifitwereajobhunt.Interviewapplicantsonadailybasis.”Carriegavehimachiding
look.“Yousaythatasifit’s
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perfectlysimpletoplucktheperfectmanoutofthinairortoidentifyhimbygettinghimtoansweralistofquestions.Trustme,it’snot.Besides,where’sthemagicinthat?”Hercousinchuckled.“Ah,
soyouwantthemagic,too?”“Ofcourse.AnduntilI
findit,Ican’tverywellsitaroundanddonothing.Istillneedagoal.Beingidleisn’tallit’scrackeduptobe.I’m
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notsuitedforthat,either.”Luke’sexpressionturned
thoughtful.Whileheponderedwhateverhewaspondering,Carriesippedherwine.“You’rebabysittingfor
halfthekidsinthefamily,aren’tyou?”hesaideventually.“Yes,butwhat’syour
point?That’snotexactlyajob.”
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Hegaveheralonglook.“Makeitone.”Shefrownedatthe
seeminglyoffhandsuggestion,thoughitwasevidentLukewaswarmingtotheidea.“Whatdoyoumean?”shepressed.“Youlovekids.Youdon’t
haveanyofyourownontheimmediatehorizon.”Hestaredatherasifwillinghertoreachthesameconclusion
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hehad.Whensheremainedsilent,headdedwithatouchofimpatience,“Consideropeningadaycare.”Carrieimmediatelywaved
offtheidea.“Comeon,Luke.Ican’tchargefamilyforkeepinganeyeontheirkids.”“Whynot?Ifyouweren’t
around,they’dbepayingsomebodyelse.Icertainlychargethemfortheirpintsofalewhentheycomeinhere.”
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“Notthesamething,”sheinsisted.“Thisisabusiness.Weallunderstandthat.”Helaughed.“Andtheday
carecouldbeyourbusiness,”hesaid.“Justsomethingtothinkabout.Thetowncoulduseone.Moirawassayingthattomenottwenty-fourhoursago.Shesaidifwe’reevergoingtohavekids,givenourbusyschedulesandhertravelingwithher
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photographyexhibits,we’llneedsomeonewetrusttocareforthem.Sheflatlyrefusestoputaplaypeninthecornerandseeourchildraisedinabar.”Carriecouldjustimagine
Moiramakingthatpointveryclear.FromherveryfirstintroductiontotheO’BriensinhernativeIreland,Moirahadneverhesitatedtoexpressanopinion.Ithadearnedher
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thenicknameofMaddeningMoira,untilLukehadpleadedwithallofthemtodropit.Lukegaveheragrin.
“Maybewhenyou’retotallyfocusedonstartingabusinessforyourself,therightmanwillsuddenlyappear.Bythenyoumaybesobusy,youwon’tevenhavetimeforhim.”“Thewayyouwerewhen
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Moiracamealong?”shesaid,recallinghowhe’dexpectedMoiratositbypatientlywhilehegotthepubupandrunning.She’dtakenexceptiontothat.“Exactly,”headmitted
withagrimace.“Moiratriedtogetsomesensethroughmyhardhead,butitwasNellwhofinallysetmestraightaboutwaiting.”“How?Ineverheardthe
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story.”“AfterGramfellillduring
thetripsheandDillontooktoNewYork,shecalledMoiraandmeintoherroomatthehospitalandtoldustostopwastingtime.Sheremindedusthatweshouldneverputoffthethingsinlifethatreallymatter,thatthere’sneveraperfecttimeforfallinginlove.Iswear,evenlyingthereinthathospital
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bedlookingsoblastedtinyandfrail,shewasaforcetobereckonedwith.”“Shestillis,”Carriesaid,
thenadmitted,“Itscaresmetothinkwhatwillhappenwhenweloseher.She’sthebedrockofthisfamily.”“Andtohearhertellit,
she’snotgoinganywheretillshe’ssatisfiedwe’reallsettledandcontent,”Lukereplied.“Withawholeslew
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ofgreat-grandchildrenaroundnow,Ithinkshe’splanningonbeingwithusforawhile.”“Ihopeso,”Carriesaid
softly.Lukepattedhershoulderas
hestoodup.“Ineedtogetbacktowork.JustthinkaboutwhatIsaid.Maybedaycareistherightfitforyou,maybenot,butyouwon’tknowuntilyou’veexploredthepossibility,thesameasI
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figuredoutapubwastherightfitformethefirsttimeIwalkedintooneinIrelandandrealizeditcouldbetheheartofacommunity.Ifoundmytruecallingonthattrip.”“AndMoira,”shesaid,
smiling.“AndMoira,”heagreed.Afterhe’dgoneintothe
kitchentocheckinwithhischef,Carriesighed.WasthereanymerittoLuke’s
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idea?Orwoulditfeelasifshewasgivinguponherowndreamofhavingafamilybysurroundingherselfwithotherpeople’schildren?Shewasagreatbabysitter,aterrificaunt,buttherewasawholelotmoretorunningadaycare,includingmoreregulationsthanshe’deverhadtodealwith.Ofcourse,shehadtakenacoupleofearlychildhooddevelopment
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andchildpsychologyclassesinschool.She’dbeenfascinatedbythetopicsandshe’dacedthem.Shemightevenhavepursuedmoreclassesbackthen,ifshehadn’tgottenaPRinternshipandgravitatedinthatdirection.Shethoughtofallthe
O’Brienkidswhowereunderfootonaregularbasisandsmiled.Theywerethe
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bestpartofherlife,noquestionaboutthat.Couldsheturnthatintoacareer?JustasLukehadsuggested,
itwassomethingworthconsidering.Shecertainlydidn’thaveanalternativeinmindandsheneededtodosomethingbeforeherfamilylostpatienceandshelosthermindwrestlingwithallthisindecisiveness.
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***
Samglancedintherearviewmirrorandsawthathisnephewhadfinallyfallenasleep.Hebreathedasighofrelief.Hewasn’tsurewhichwasworse,thelongsilenceswhenBobbysaidnothingatallorthestringofunanswerablequestionsthathadbeenthrownatSameversincehissisterandbrother-
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in-lawhadbeenkilledinanaccidenttwoweeksearlier.ThediscoverythatBobbywasbeingplacedinhiscarehadshockedhimintosilence,forsure.Itwaslittlewonderithadleftthesix-year-oldthoroughlyconfused.Andnow,heretheywere
drivingintoChesapeakeShores,atownwhereSamhadn’tevenhadtimetogethimselfsettledbefore
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learningaboutthetragedythathadtakenBobby’sparents.He’dlefthisnewjobasagrievingbrother,hisonlythoughtsfocusedongettingthroughthefuneral.Nowhewasreturningasasingleparentwithsomanythoughtsandfearsswirlinginhishead,hehadnoideawhichneededtobetackledfirst.He’dputhisowngriefonthebackburnersohecouldstay
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focusedonthescaredlittleboysuddenlyinhiscare.“Dinner,”hemuttered
underhisbreath.WheneverBobbyawakened,he’dbestarving.TheonethingSamdidknowwasthathecouldn’tgoonfeedingtheboynothingbutfastfood,theonlythingthatseemedtotemptBobbytoeat.FortunatelyfastfoodwasinshortsupplyinChesapeakeShores,which
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didn’thaveachainrestaurantintown.TheclosestMcDonald’sorBurgerKingwasmilesaway.Insteadofheadingstraight
totheInnatEaglePoint,wherehe’dbeenstayingsincehisarrivalintown,SamturnedontoShoreRoadandfoundaparkingspotacrossfromseverallocalrestaurants,includingO’Brien’s,apubthatspecializedintraditional
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Irishcomfortfood.Wasn’tthatexactlywhatheandBobbybothneeded?Somethingcomfortingandfilling?Exitingthecar,he
hesitated.DidhehavetowakeBobbyjustsohecouldrunin,ordersomefoodandrunbackacrossthestreet?Itwasearlyenoughthatthestreetwasmostlydeserted.Theshopshadclosed,sofew
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touristswerelingeringalongthewaterfront,anditwastooearlyformostpeopletobeheadingoutfordinner.Anditwas,afterall,ChesapeakeShores,atownwithoutanysignificantcrimeexceptfortheoccasionalhighschoolprank.EvenasSamopenedthe
backdoorofthecar,hecouldhearBobby’ssoftsnores.Theboylookedsopeaceful;it
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seemedashametowakehim.Convincinghimselfhisnephewwouldneverbeoutofsight,hejoggedacrossthestreetandwentinside,grabbingamenuoffthebar,thenmovingbacktothedoorwaywhileheglancedthroughtheofferings.Irishstewwastheday’sspecial.Thatsoundedhealthyandfilling.Andhowlongcoulditpossiblytaketodishitintoa
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containersoSamcouldbeonhisway?Afteronemoreglanceto
reassurehimselfthatBobbyhadn’tawakened,hereturnedtothebar,onlytofindnoonetheretotakehisorder.Infact,theonlypersonintheplacewasayoungwoman,herexpressionglumasshestaredintoaglassofwineshe’dbarelytouched.“What’samanhavetodo
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togetsomeserviceinhere?”heaskedirritably.Thewoman’sresponding
frownwaslikelyjustified,butSamcouldn’tworryabouttheimpressionhemightbemaking.Hehadachildoutsideandwaytoomuchonhismind.“Sorry,”shesaidinacool,
politetone.“Mycousinhadtogoinbacktospeaktothechef.He’llberightout,I’m
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sure.”“Youdon’tworkhere?”“No,butifyou’reina
hurry,IcangetLuke.”Samnodded.“Please.Or
canyoujusttellhimI’dliketwoordersoftheIrishstewtogo?”Hehesitated.“Doyouthinkasix-year-oldwouldlikethat?”Herexpressionbrightened.
“Sure.It’sgreat.Allthekidsinourfamilyloveit.I’llgive
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Lukeyourorder.He’llfixyourightup.”Samcouldn’thelpnoticing
thesexyhighheelsshewaswearingwhensheslidoffherbarstool.Thoseshoesdrewattentiontolong,shapelylegs.Hedidn’tknowalotaboutfashion,buthehadafeelingshehadn’tboughtthematthediscountstoreoutonthemainhighway.Infact,herentireoutfit,ascasualas
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itwas,seemedtoshoutthatithadcomefromadesigner,notofftherack.Arichtourist,perhaps,thoughshedidseemtobetotallycomfortableinhere.Andhadn’tshereferredtotheownerorthebartenderashercousin?Samdidn’thavetimetotry
toputthepuzzlepiecestogether.Hesureasheckdidn’thavetimetoallowhis
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curiositytobestirredbyabeautifulwoman.Hislifehadrecentlygottenmorecomplicatedthanhecouldeverhaveimagined.Rightnow,heneededtogethisfoodandgetbacktoBobby.Oncemore,hewentback
tothedoorandglancedacrossthestreet.TherewasnosignthatBobbywasstirringandnobodywasstandingbesidethecar
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lookingalarmedthatachildhadbeenleftaloneinside.Thatdidn’tmeanSamcouldbegoneformuchlonger.ThelastthinghewantedwasforBobbytoawaken,findhimselfaloneandpanic.Pacingimpatiently,hewas
startledwhenthewomanappearedathisside,obviouslyonherwayout.“Yourfood’sontheway,”
shesaidassheopenedthe
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door.Alightfloralscentthat
remindedhimofsummernightswasleftinherwakeasshepassedhim,thenheadedacrossthestreet.Samsawtheexactmoment
whenshespottedBobby.Shestoppedbesidethecar,didadoubletake,thenturnedbacktogiveSamalookthatcouldhavemeltedsteel.Shewhirledaroundonthosespike
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heelsofhersandmarchedstraightbackinhisdirection.Thepub’sdoorslammed
openandshestoodbeforehim.“That’syourcar?”Samnodded,aflush
crawlinguphisface.“Youleftyoursoninthe
carallalone?Whatwereyouthinking?”shedemandedindignantly.“Thismaybeasafetown,butnoplaceis100
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percentsafe.Plusitcangethotinsideinpracticallynotime,especiallyonasunnydaylikethis.”Eventhoughheknewshe
wasprobablyjustifiedinherindignation,Samstaredherdown.“Whyisthisyour
business?”“Becauseinnocentchildren
needtobeprotectedfromirresponsibleparents.”
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“I’mnothisparent,”Samretorted,thoughnotonlywasthatnotentirelytrue,heknewitwasalsohardlythepoint.He’dbeenaparentforaboutananosecond.Hewasstillgettingthehangofit.“He’smynephew.”Sinceherharshstaredidn’t
waveratthat,hefoundhimselfexplaining.“Hisparentsdiedinanaccidenttwoweeksago.I’mjust
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bringinghimheretolivewithme.You’llhavetoforgivemeifIthoughtlettinghimfinallygetsomerestwasmoreimportantthandragginghimoverheretowaitwithmewhileIgetsomefood.Hewasneveroutofmysight,washe?Andthewindowsareallcracked,sothere’saircirculating.Didn’tyouseemestandingrightherebythedoorkeepinganeyeonhim?”
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“Isuppose,”shesaid,backingdown,butsparksstillflashedinhereyes.“Youcan’ttakechanceswithachild’ssafety.Thingscanhappenintheblinkofaneye.”“I’mwellawareofthat,
probablymoresothanyouare,”hesaid.“That’swhathappenedtomysisterandbrother-in-law.Theyweregoneintheblinkofaneye.
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Nobodycouldhaveanticipatedthat.AndIsureasheckdidn’tanticipatebecomingadadovernight.”Shefalteredatthat,her
cheeksturningpink.“I’msorry.Look,justgobacktothecar,okay?I’llbringyourfoodoutassoonasit’sready.It’llmakeusbothfeelbetterifhe’snotovertherealone.”Samstartedtoargue,then
gavein.Hepulledacoupleof
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twentiesfromhiswalletandgavethemtoher.“I’mnotsurehowmuchthebillwillbe,butthisshouldcoverit.”Shehandedbackoneofthe
twenties.“Thiswilldo.I’mgoingtohaveLukeputsomechocolate-chipcookiesinwithyourorder.They’renotonthemenu,buthekeepsthemonhandforthekidsinourfamily.They’remygreat-grandmother’srecipe.She
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bakesonceaweekandbringsthemoverhere.Sheleavesasupplyatmyhouse,too,sincemostofthekidsareinandoutofthere,too.”Thethoughtofhome-
bakedcookiestriggeredalonginginSam,onehehadn’tevenrealizedhe’dburieddeepinside.“Mygrandmotherusedtodothesamething.Shebakedforthewholefamily.She’sbeen
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goneforyears,butIstillrememberthewayherkitchensmelled.”Asmilespreadacrossthe
woman’sfaceatlast.“There’snothinglikeit,isthere?Don’tevertellNell,ifyouhappentomeether,butIbake,too,justsomyhousewillsmelllikethatwhenthekidscomeby.Iwanttobethego-toauntorcousinorneighborwhenitcomesto
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cookies.”Sheshooedhimtowardthe
door.“Go.I’llbeoverwithyourfoodinjustaminute.”Samdutifullyleftthepub
andcrossedthestreet.Hestoodbesidethecarandwaitedforthewomantoemergewithhisorder.Atleasthetoldhimselfhisgazewassointensebecausehisstomachwasrumbling,butthetruthwas,hewanted
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anotherglimpseofher.Shewasamassofcontradictionswithherfancyclothesandhome-bakedcookies,thelostexpressionhe’dcaughtonherfacewhenhefirstnoticedhersittingatthebar,andherfieryindignationwhenshe’dfoundBobbyaloneinthecar.Contradictionslikethat,
though,usuallymeanttrouble.AndthesedaysSamhadmoreofthatthanhe
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couldpossiblyhandle.
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2
Throughthepub’swindow,Carriestudiedthemanashewaitedbesidethecar.Helookedbone-weary.Littlewonderafterjustsufferingatragiclossandthenfindingouthewasresponsibleforhisnephew.Nolongerfurious
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aboutfindingtheboyaloneinthecar,shewasabletocutthemansomeslack,butjustthisonce.She’dbekeepinganeyeonhim,andnotbecausehewashandsomeassinwithhistousledhair,deepblueeyesandfirmjaw,butbecausethatchildwaslikelyinneedofanadvocatewhoknewsomethingaboutkids.WhenLukeemergedfrom
thekitchenwiththetake-out
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order,Carrieheldoutherhand.“I’lltakeittohim.”Lukefrowned.“Since
whendidweoffercurbsideserviceandhow’dyougetropedintoit?”“Justgivemethebag.Did
youputinsomeofNell’scookies?”“Youtoldmeto,didn’t
you?OfcourseIdid.Areyoupickingupthecheck,too?”“Veryfunny.Hismoney’s
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bytheregister.Keepthechange.”Shewasabouttoopenthe
door,whenLukecalledout.“Carrie!”Shestopped,butdidn’t
turnaround.“Comebackhereafter
you’vedeliveredthat,”hesaid.“Iwasgoingtohead
home.”“Notjustyet,”hesaid
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firmly.Afewyearsagoshemight
haveremindedhimhewasn’tthebossofher,butshewasmorematurenow.“Fine,”shesaidgrudgingly.Shecrossedthestreetand
handedoverthebag.Thearomaofthestewmadeherstomachrumble.Maybereturningtothepubwasagoodidea,afterall.Shecouldusesomeofthatstewherself.
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“Here,takethisquick,beforeIdecidetodiveinandeatitmyself,”shesaid,handinghimthebag.Hereachedforthebag,
tookasniffandsighed.“Itdoessmellgood.IhopeBobbywilleatit.”“Isheapickyeater?”“It’shardtotell.He’s
shownlittleinterestinanythingthepastcoupleofweeks,butthatcouldbe
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becauseofthecircumstances.TheonlythingI’vebeenabletocoaxhimtoeatareburgersandFrenchfries,butIknowIneedtobreakthathabit.”“Nowyou’retalkinglikea
responsibleparent,”shetoldhimapprovingly.Hegaveherawrylook.“If
onlyitwerethateasy.Makesureheeatshealthymealsandallwillberightinhisworld.”
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“AreyoustayinghereinChesapeakeShoresorjustpassingthrough?”Whenhedidn’timmediatelyrespond,sheadded,“I’mCarrieWinters,bytheway.”Heheldouthishand.“Sam
Winslow.Igatheryou’realocal.”“Absolutely.Mycousin
Lukeownsthepub.IthinkImentionedthat.Mygrandfather,MickO’Brien,
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designedthewholetown.”Heregardedherwith
amusement.“Isthatwhatentitlesyoutodigintothelivesofeveryoneyoumeet?”“That’sjustnatural
curiosity,”shesaid,tryingtokeepadefensivenotefromhervoice.“Andfriendliness.ChesapeakeShoresisknownforbeingaveryfriendlytown.Werolloutthewelcomematforstrangers.
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You’dknowthatifyou’dspentanytimehere,whichmustmeanyou’repassingthrough.”Foramomentshethought
hewasn’tgoingtoanswer,butthenhesighedheavily.“ActuallyImovedhereabouttwoweeksbeforemysister’saccident.I’mthenewwebdesignerandtechexpertforthelocalpaper.”Carrie’smoodimmediately
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improved.Shebeamedathim.“Thenyou’reworkingforMackFranklin.Thatmakesyoupracticallyfamily.He’smarriedtomycousinSusie—well,mysecondcousin,actually—she’sLuke’ssister.”Heshookhishead,
amazementwrittenonhisface.“TherereallyareO’Brienseverywhereinthistown,aren’tthere?”
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Shegesturedtowardthecarvedgoldlettersonadarkgreenbackgroundonthefrontofthepub.“Wedon’ttrytohideit,”shesaid.“Andtherearealotofus,especiallywhenyoutakeintoaccountextendedfamily.Andit’saclose-knitcommunityingeneral.You’regoingtoloveithere,anditwillbeagreatplaceforyournephewtogrowup.”
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Exhaustionanddefeatseemedtosettleonhisfaceoncemore.“Ihopeso.Hisparentsdyingsosuddenly,movingtoanewplaceplusadaptingtohavingmeas,well,whateverI’msupposedtobenow.”Heshookhishead.“It’salotforasix-year-oldtohandle.”Carriecouldonlyimagine
howdifficultitmustbe,andnotjustforalittleboy,but
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forthisman,aswell.“Ifyoueverwanttotalktosomeone,myauntJess,whoownstheInnatEaglePoint,ismarriedtoashrink.”“WillLincoln?”hesaid,
lookingsurprised.“You’vemethim?”“I’mstillstayingattheinn
tillIcanfindaplacetobuyorrent.I’vehadacoupleofconversationswithWill.Heinvitedmetojoinsomeofthe
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guystoshoothoops.Henevermentionedwhathedoesforaliving.”“He’sagreatguy.Orif
youjustneedsomebodytolisten,Luke’snotbad.Helivesuptothestereotypeofabartenderwhocanlistenwithoutpassingjudgment.That’swhyIwasintheretonightspillingmygutstohim.Ihaveaslewofpeopleinmyfamilywho’dhappily
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listen,butnotwithouttellingmewhattodo.Lukejustthrewoutsuggestions.Hegavemesomeinterestingfoodforthought.”Samlookedherover
skeptically,apparentlyleapingtoconclusionsbasedonherdesignerclothes,theridiculouslyexpensiveshoesshelovedandtheflawlessmakeupshe’dlearnedtoapplyworkinginfashion,
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wherelooksmattered.Beingintheworldofcovermodelsrequiredthatshepayalotofattentiontoherownappearanceifshehopedtocompete.WasittoomuchforChesapeakeShores?Sowhatifitwas?Itwashardlysomethingsheneededtoapologizefor.Sincewhenwaslookingpresentableinpublicacrime?“Youhaveproblems?”he
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asked,provingshe’dreadhisdisdaincorrectly.“Everybodyhasproblems,”
shesaid.“Someareworsethanothers,butthatdoesn’tmeantheydon’tmattertothepeopletryingtogetthroughthem.”“Tellmeaboutyours,”he
said.“Didyouhavetroubledecidingwhattoweartonight?PerhapsyourPorschewouldn’tstart?Or
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maybeyouacceptedadatewithaguyandaretryingtofigureouthowtogetoutofit?”Thecommentssuggesting
thatshewassoshallowstung,especiallycomingfromamanwhocouldn’tpossiblyknowanythingabouther.Shebackedoffatonce,no
longertryingtohideherannoyance.“Look,Iwasjusttryingtohelp.That’swhatwe
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dointhistown.Idon’tdeservetobejudgedorinsulted.”Heturnedandfacedher
then,andshecouldclearlyseethedespairinhisdark,shadowedeyesalongwithwhatwasperhapsjustahintofguilt.“I’msorry,”hesaid.
“Truly.Idon’tknowwhatgotintome.Iusuallyhavebettermannersthanthat.”
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“Youobviouslyhavealotonyourmind,”shesaid,decidingyetagaintomakeallowances.Itseemedshewasbeingcalledontomakealotofallowances,somethingsherarelydid.“Sometimessharingaburdenhelps.Ifyoudon’twanttotalktomeorLuke,justaboutanyoneinChesapeakeShoreswouldbeeagertolistenandlendahelpinghand.”
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“I’mnotsurethere’sawell-meaningpersononearthwhocanfixthis,”hetoldher.“Well,asdifficultasit
mightbe,timeusuallytakescareofmostproblems.”Shegavehimaruefullook.“Andjustsoyouknow,Idon’thavethepatienceforwaitingforthattohappen,either.I’mjusttoldthatit’strue.”Hesmiledasshe’d
intended.
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“I’mprettysurethistestwasdesignedtotrymine,too,”headmitted.“Theydosaykarmahasawayofgettingyou.AcoupleofweeksagoIwasaprettycarefreeguy.NowI’mtenseandcapableofbitingofftheheadofsomeonewho’sonlytryingtobenice.”“You’reprobablyentitled,
butfairwarning,”shesaidlightly.“Iwon’tletyouget
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awaywithitagain.”“Thankyou.”Helooked
away.“Thegrief,that’sonething.You’reright.I’llgetoverthatintime.ButbecomingadadtoaboyI’veonlyseenafewtimesbefore...”Heshookhishead.“Ihavenoideahowtodothat.”Hegaveheranotherdoubtfullook.“Anythoughtsonthat?”“Onedayatatime,”she
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saidatonce.“Iknowitsoundsglib,butthat’stheonlywaytodoanythingthat’sdifficult,atleastthat’swhatmyfamilyisalwayssaying.Andaskforhelpwhenyouneedit.”“I’vealwaysreliedon
myself.MyparentsarelonggoneandmysisterandI,well,we’dhadourdifferences.Wehadn’tbeenallthatclosethepastfew
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years,whichisanotherreasonthiscustodyarrangementcameassuchashock.”Sorrowdarkenedhiseyes.“NowIgettolivewithregretfornotdoingmoretomendfences.Wealwaysthinkwehaveallthetimeintheworldtofixthings.”“I’vefoundthatregretsare
usuallypointless,”shetoldhim.“Thesituationiswhatitis.Youhaveachildto
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considernow.Ifyoudorightbyhim,I’msurethat’sallthatwouldreallymattertoyoursister.Andtrustme,whenwordgetsaroundaboutwhatyou’regoingthrough,you’llhaveallthesupportyoucouldpossiblyneed.”Shehesitated,triedtotalk
herselfoutofmakinganimpulsiveoffer,butthenmadeit,anyway.“Infact,ifyouneedanyhelpwithday
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care,Icanprobablyhelpout.Idon’trunadaycare,butIwatchmysister’sbabyafewdaysaweek.Severalofmyyoungercousinsstopbyfromtimetotimetohangout.Yournephewwouldbewelcome.Ihaveanendlesssupplyofcookiesonhandandalotofthecoolesttoys.”Forthefirsttimesince
they’dmet,Samsmiled,anditactuallyreachedhiseyes.
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Carrie’sheartdidasuddenandentirelypredictableflip,somethingthathadn’thappenedtoherinallthemonthssinceshe’dbeenawayfromEuropeandMarc.Itwasdisconcerting—andveryuntimely,givenherrecentresolutiontoavoidjumpingintoanotherrelationshipanytimesoon.“I’dbettergetbacktothe
pub,”shesaidhurriedly.
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“Luke’swaitingforme.AndIhearabowlofthatstewcallingmyname.”“Sure,”Samsaidandheld
upthebag.“Thanksforbringingthistome,andforthecookies.”“Noproblem.And
rememberwhatIsaid,ifyouneedhelp,ask.YoucanalwaysgetmycellphonenumberoraddressfromLukeorMackorSusie.”
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Sheturnedandcrossedthestreetquickly.Shehesitatedforjustaninstant,tryingtoassurethattherewasaperfectlyneutralexpressiononherfacebeforeshesawLuke.ShewascarefulnottoglanceoverhershouldertoseeifSamhadleftorevenwaved.Hewasjustaguy,afterall,acustomer.Shedidn’tneedhercousingoingallprotectiveonher.
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“Youtooklongenough,”Lukesaid,frowningwhenshefinallywentinside.“You’reluckyIcameback
atall,”sheretorted.“Youknowhowwealldislikebeingorderedtodoanything.AndI’monlyhereforsomeofthatIrishstew,notforoneofyourlectures.”Luke’sscowldeepened.“I
justwanttoknowwhyyouwerewaitingonthatguy.It’s
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notasifyouworkhere.Andhewasrude.Imighthavebeeninthekitchen,butI’mnotdeaf.Iheardthewayhetalkedtoyouwhenhefirstcamein.”“Therewereextenuating
circumstances,”shesaid.“Really?Tellme.”Shedebateddoingjustthat,
butdecideditwasn’therstorytotell.“I’msureyou’llbeseeinghimaround.He’s
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workingforMack.Getyoursistertofillyouin.Forgetaboutthestew.I’mgoinghome.”“Pleasejusttellmeyou
havenointerestinhimbeyondbeingnicetooneofmycustomers,”hercousinsaid.“WhatifIcan’tsaythat?”“Carrie,comeon.Thatguy
hasissues.”“Noquestionaboutit,”she
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agreed.“Don’tyouhaveenough
issuesofyourownwithouttakingonhis?”“I’mnottakingon
anything.I’mbeingfriendly.That’swhatwedoaroundhere.AskMick.”Lukegroaned.“Blastitall!
Ileaveyoualoneinhereforfiveminutesandyoumanagetogettangledupintrouble.”Shelaughedatthe
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exaggeration.“Stopfretting.I’mnottangledupinanything,”shesaid,wavingasshewentoutthedoor.Notyet,anyway.
***
MickwatchedhisgranddaughterwalkawayfromO’Brien’sasifshewereinabighurrytogetsomewhere.Shedidn’teven
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turnaroundwhenhecalledouttoher.“What’sgoingonwith
her?”hegrumbledtohiswifeasheheldopenthedoortothepub.“Sincewhendoessheignoreherowngrandfather?”“Whenshedoesn’twantto
talkaboutwhatever’sonhermind,”Megansaid.“Eversinceshecamehome,you’vebeenalloverhertomake
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somedecisionsaboutherfuture.Maybeshe’stiredofit.”“Well,sheneedstostop
wastingtime,”hereplied.“Youcan’ttellmeshe’sstillbrokenheartedoverthejerkinEurope.Heobviouslywasn’tgoodenoughforher.”“Notyourcall,”Megan
remindedhim.“It’snotaboutwhetherhewasorwasn’tgoodenoughforher,orabout
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howlongitshouldtakehertogetoverhim.”Mickjustscowledathis
wife.HehateditwhenMegangotallreasonableandpointedoutthathecouldn’tcontroleverythingaroundhim,especiallywhenitcametohisownfamily.Okay,shewasusuallyright,butthatdidn’tmeanheshouldstoptryingtomakesurethingsworkedoutthewaytheywere
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supposedto.“Hey,UncleMick,”Luke
said.“AuntMegan.Doyouallwantatableorareyougoingtositatthebar?”“We’llsitatthebar,”Mick
toldhim.“ThenyoucanfillusinonwhyCarriewasinsuchastatewhenshelefthere.”“Mick!”Meganprotested.
“Don’tinvolveLukeinthis.”Lukeregardedthemwith
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aninnocentexpressionthatMickwasn’tbuyingforasecond.“Wassheinsomekindofa
state?”Lukeinquired,asifhehadn’tnoticedathingoutoftheordinaryabouthermood.Mickfrownedathim.“Did
allyoukidsmakeapacttokeepmeinthedarkaboutthings?”Hisnephewlaughed.“No
pact,”heinsisted.“ButIdid
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takeanoathtoprotectmycustomers’privacy.”“Carrie’snotacustomer.
She’sfamily.”“Thenmarchrightonover
toherhouseandaskheryourself,”Lukesuggested,settingapintofaleinfrontofMickandaglassofredwineinfrontofMegan,whowastryinghardtobitebackasmile.“Ungratefulwretch,”Mick
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mumbled.“WatchitorI’lltellGram
youwerecallingmenames,”Lukeretorted.“Madoesn’tscareme,”
Micksaid.“Well,sheoughtto,”
Megansaid.“Nowhush.Let’shaveanicedinnerandthengohome.”MicksighedasLukebeata
hastyretreat,leavinghimtostewoverthelackof
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information.“You’rebothactingasifI’minthewrongforbeingconcernedaboutmyowngranddaughter,”hetoldMegan.“Notwrong,”shesoothed.
“Justmisguided.Carrie’sagrownwoman.She’llfigurethingsoutforherself.Andtobehonest,Mick,themoreyoupush,theharderyou’llmakethatforher.Stubbornnessisafamilytrait.
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You,ofallpeople,oughttoknowthat.”Hescowledathiswife.
“YousayingI’mstubborn?”Shegavehiman
incredulouslook.“Youarethekingofstubborn!”shedeclared.“Butyou’realsocaringandthoughtfulandIwouldn’thaveyouanyotherway.Just,please,thisonce,stopyourmeddling.Itwaspartlybecauseofyourgood
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intentionsthatourCaitlynbarelymadeitdowntheaislebeforeherbabywasborn.Learnfrompastmistakes.”“Caitlyn’smarriednow,
isn’tshe?AndeveryoneofourkidsandmybrotherJeff’saresettledandhappy,insomemeasureduetomyso-calledgoodintentions.”“Inspiteof,”Megan
corrected.ShecalledouttoLuke,whowashoveringjust
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outofviewinthekitchendoorway.“Luke,bringussomeofthatstew,andhurry,please.MaybeifMick’sstomachisfullofsomegoodold-fashionedIrishfood,he’lltakeabreakfromfrettingaboutCarrie.”Mickfrownedatthe
suggestion.“I’mperfectlycapableofdoingtwothingsatonce,”hetoldher.Sheleanedoverandkissed
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hischeek.“Iknow,”shesaidquietly.“More’sthepity.Ifyouneedsomethingelsetochewon,howaboutthis?”Thesuggestionshe
whisperedinhisearforhowtheymightspendtherestoftheeveningprettymuchwipedallthoughtsofhisgranddaughterandherproblemsrightoutofhishead.Hegrinnedathiswife.“Cleverwoman,”he
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murmuredapprovingly.“Youhaven’tlovedmeall
theseyearsfornoreason,”shesaidsmugly.Micksighed.Thatwastrue
enough.Evenduringalltheyearsthey’dbeenapart,he’dlovedhertopieces.Ithadjusttakengettingpasthishurtpridetogivehimthecouragetofighttowinherback.Nowthathehad,maybeheshouldn’tbewastingquiteso
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muchtimeonfixingeverybodyelse’slives.“I’llmakeyouadeal,”he
offered.“What’sthat?”“Fortherestoftonightyou
havemyfullattention.”“Andthen?”sheasked.“Yourunyourartgallery
duringtheday,andI’lldothethingsIneedtodo.”“Ofcourseyouwill,”she
saidwithasigh.“Butifthat’s
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thebestIcanhopefor,atleastCarriewillhavethenightofffromyourinterference.”Mickgaveanodof
satisfaction.HedoubtedCarrie’sproblemwouldresolveitselfovernight.He’dmakeithispriorityfirstthinginthemorning.
***
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Carriewanderedaroundthecottage,halfexpectinghergrandfathertoappearanyminutewithmoreofhisquestionsanddisappointedlookswhenshehadnoanswersforhim.Whenheneverappeared,sheknewsheprobablyhadGrandmaMeganandmaybeevenLuketothank.Oddlyenough,shewould
havewelcomedthe
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distractionofoneofGrandpaMick’scross-examinations.ImagesofSamWinslowwerealittletooenticingforhercomfort,especiallywhencounterpointedagainstthedisdainshe’dfeltradiatingfromhimduringtheirconversation.Addinhisboneheadedmoveofleavinghisnephewaloneinthecar,nomatterhowhe’djustifiedit,andhedefinitelywasn’t
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someonesheshouldbegivingthetimeofday.Lukehadprobablybeenrightaboutthat.Shewasn’tcrazyaboutacknowledgingthat,either.Whenherphonerang,she
seizedit,gratefulfortheexcusetoescapeherconflictedreactiontotheman.“Whowastheguy?”her
twinaskedthesecondCarrieanswered.
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“Excuseme?”“Theguyatthepub,”
Caitlynsaid.“Theonewhogotyoualltiedupinknots.”“Therewasnoguy,”Carrie
said,thenamended,“Well,therewasamanwhocamein.Wehadwords.Iactuallyyelledathim.”“Youyelledathim,”Cait
repeated,soundingshocked.“Whywouldyoudothat?”“Heleftachildaloneinhis
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parkedcar.IdiscoveredtheboysoundasleepinthebackseatwhenIwasleavingthepub.”“Sothisguyleftasleeping
childinacar,thencameintothepubtodrink?”“Nottodrink,”Carriesaid
hurriedly.“Toordertakeout.Andtobefair,hewaskeepinganeyeontheboythewholetime,butIfreakedoutjustthesame.”
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“Idon’tblameyou.Butthesecondyourealizedtheguywasanirresponsiblejerk,why’dyouhangoutwithhim?”“Ididn’thangoutwith
him,”Carrierepliedimpatiently.“How’dyouhearaboutthis,anyway?”“Noahstoppedbythepub
afterworkwithJackson.HeandLukegottotalking.Lukewasworried.Hethoughthe
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detectedsomesparksflyingbetweenthetwoofyou.”“Lukeneverevensawusin
thesameroom,”Carrieargued.“Hedoesn’tknowanything.”“Okay,hehashis
suspicions,”Caitlynsaidwithexaggeratedpatience.“HesharedthemwithNoah.”“PleasetellmeGrandpa
Mickwasnowherearoundwhentheyhadthis
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conversation.”“Noahdidn’tmentionour
grandfather.Whywouldyouthinkhewasthere?”“BecauseheandGrandma
MeganweregoinginjustafterIleft.Hecalledouttome,butIpretendednottohearhimandkeptonwalking.”“Oh,boy!”Caitsaid.“I’m
surethatwentoverwell.Don’tyouknowbynowthat
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justmakesGrandpaMickmoredeterminedtofindoutwhat’sgoingon?”“Iknow,”Carriesaidwith
asigh.“I’vebeenexpectinghimtoturnuphereeversinceIgothome.”“Soyouapparentlygota
reprievetillmorning,”Caitconcluded.“Nowtellmemoreaboutthisguywho’sajerk.What’shisname?”“SamWinslow.He’sthe
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newwebdesignerandtechexpertforMackatthepaper.YouknowhowmuchMackdependsonwhoever’sinthatposition.Hesaysthepaper’swebpresenceiswhat’ssavingitfromfailure.Theguycan’tbeatotalflakeifMacktrustshim.”“Andtheboy?IsSama
singledad?”Carrietoldherwhatshe
knewofhowtheboyhad
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cometobewithSam.Thestorywasmetwithanuncomfortablesilence.“Comeon,”shesaid,
resignedtotheinevitable.“Saysomething.Iknowyouwantto.”“Oh,sweetie,youalready
knowwhatI’mgoingtotellyou,”Caitlynsaid,soundingworried.“Stayfar,farawayfromthissituation.You’llgetsuckedin.Iknowyouwill,
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andthere’saverygoodchanceyou’llgetyourheartbroken.”“Howcanyousaythat?He
obviouslyneedshelp.”“Notfromyou,”Cait
insisted.“You’revulnerable.Youwantafamilytoomuch.He’lltakeadvantageofthat.”“Nobody’sgoingtotake
advantageofme,”Carrierepliedirritably.“Marcdid,”Caitreminded
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hergently.“Thatwasdifferent.”“Itwas,”hersisteragreed.
“Hedidn’thaveachildtosweetentheappeal.”“You’rewrong,”Carrie
said.“I’mgoingtobed.Goodnight.”“Don’thangupangry,”
Caitpleaded.“Justbecareful,that’sallI’msaying.”No,Carriethoughtwitha
sigh.Shewassayingsomuch
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more.Worse,justlikeLuke,shewasprobablyright.
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3
Samputthedinnerhe’dorderedatO’Brien’sintothebackseatofhisSUVnexttoBobby.TheboyhadbeensleepingwhilehewastalkingtoCarrieWinters,buthewaswide-awakenowandlookingaroundwithacurious
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expression.“Arewehomeyet?”he
askedSam,histoneplaintive.“Justabout,buddy.We’ll
behomeinacoupleofminutes.Istoppedlongenoughtopickupsomedinnerforus.”“Where?Idon’tsee
McDonald’s.”SampointedtoO’Brien’s.
“Seetherestaurantrightacrossthestreet?Dinner
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camefromthereandit’sgoingtobedelicious.I’mtoldtheremightevenbesomehomemadecookiesinthebagfordessert.”“Howcomeyoudidn’t
takemewithyou?”“Youweresleeping.”Bobby’sexpressionturned
serious.“Mommyneverleftmealoneinthecar.Shesaiditwastoodangerous,evenwhenItoldherIwasbig
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enoughtotakecareofmyself.”Onceagain,allofhis
shortcomingsasaprospectivefatherslappedSamintheface.He’ddiscoveredthatnoonecouldinduceguiltquitelikeasix-year-old...except,perhaps,anindignant,red-hairedstranger.“Yourmomwasabsolutely
right,butyouwerejustafewyardsawayandrightwhereI
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couldseeyouthewholetimeIwasinsidetherestaurant,”Samsaidinhisowndefense.HewonderedifthatsoundedashollowtoBobbyasitobviouslyhadtoCarrieWinters?“AndChesapeakeShoresis
alotsaferthanthecity,evenoneassafeasLouisville,”headdedforgoodmeasure.“DoesthatmeanIcanplay
outsidebymyself?”Bobby
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askedhopefully.“Mommyneverletmedothat.ShesaidIalwayshadtobewithagrown-up.”Thatsoundedjustlike
Laurel,Samthought.Asfarbackashecouldremembershe’dbeenmakinguprulesandissuingorders.Asakidhe’dresentedit,butwiththehindsightofmaturity,hecouldseethatshe’dbeentryingtomakeupforthe
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chaosoftheirfamilylife.Ithadbeenherself-assignedtasktoprotecthim.Recallinghowoftenthey’dbuttedheadsandrecognizingnowhowgoodherintentionshadbeenbroughtthestingoftearstohiseyes.Howhadheletsomestupidargumentcomebetweenthem?“We’llhavetoworkthat
out,”Samhedged,fightingtearsashedrovealongthe
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curving,waterfrontroadtotheInnatEaglePoint.He’dvowednottoshowanysignofweaknessinfrontofhisnephew.Bobbyneededtobelieveinhim.“Firstweneedtogetyou
enrolledinschool,soyoucanmakelotsofnewfriendsthisfall,”Samcontinued,injectinganupbeatnoteintohisvoice.“Andweneedtofindarealhousesoyoucan
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haveyourownroomandmaybeevenabigyardtoplayin.”Bobby’seyeswidened.
“Youdon’tliveinahouse?”“Notyet.Ijustmoved
here,remember?I’mstayingataninn.Itlooksjustlikeagreatbighouse,though.”“Iwenttoahotelonce.Is
itlikethat?”Hiseyesbrightenedwithexcitement.“Doesithaveroomservice?”
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“Ihaven’ttriedit,butIimagineitdoes.Wecancheckthatoutinthemorning.Iknowithasadiningroomwithlotsofwindowssoyoucanseethebayandallthebigbirdslikeospreyandeagles.Icansayforafactthatthepancakesarereally,reallygood.”ThelasthintofBobby’s
uncertaintyvanishedcompletely.“Ilove
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pancakes,”hesaidwithasighofsatisfaction.“MommyonlymadethemonSundays,though.”“Well,hereyoucanhave
themanydayyouwantthem,”Sampromised.“Atleastaslongaswe’reattheinn.”Hisnephewfellsilentuntil
theypulledintotheparkinglotoftheinn.“Wow!It’sthebiggesthouseever!CanI
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playintheyard?Canwegoswimming?”Hiseyesgrewevenbigger.“Itevenhasapool.Inever,everwanttoleavehere.”Samchuckledathis
suddenburstofenthusiasm.IthadbeeninshortsupplyforthepastcoupleofweeksasSamhaddealtwiththedetailsofthefuneral,puttinghissister’shouseupforsale,andfacingtheshockingnewsthat
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he’dbeennamedBobby’sguardian.Hissister’sin-lawshadthreatenedtofighthimforcustodyuntilthelawyerhadconvincedthemthewillwasairtightandthatSamhadtheenergytocopewithaninquisitive,livelysix-year-old,somethingaretiredcoupleintheirsixtiesandlivingonafixedincomemightnotbeabletohandle.“I’mafraidwecan’tstay
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hereforever,”hetoldBobby.“Itcostsalotofmoney,butIpromiseyouwe’llpickahousethatyou’regoingtolovejustasmuch.Youcanhelpmedecideontherightone.”Afamiliarfrownsettledon
Bobby’sfaceandSam’sstomachtieditselfintoknots.Hecouldfeelthedisappointmentradiatingfromthebackseat.Howmany
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timeswashedestinedtoletthisboydownbeforeeveryonerealizedwhatamistakehadbeenmadeingivinghimcustody?“Sam?”Bobbywhispered
hesitantly.Samturnedandsawtears
dampeningBobby’sroundcheeksandrealizedthiswasaboutmorethanstayingattheinn.“What,buddy?”“Ifwekeepmoving,how
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areMommyandDaddygoingtofindus?”Sam’shearttwisted.“We
talkedaboutthat,remember?Yourmommyanddaddycan’tcomeback.They’reinheaven.”“Butyousaidthatevenin
heaven,they’dalwaysbelookingoutforme.Howaretheygoingtofindme?”heasked,hisexpressionwaytooseriousandworriedfora
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childhisage.Samhadneverfeltmore
outofhisdepthinhislife.“That’sthethingaboutheaven,”hesaideventually,prayinghewasgettingitright.“Thepeoplewelovewholivetherecanseeuswhereverweare.Yourmomanddadwillalwaysknowexactlywhereyouareandwhentheyaskedmetotakecareofyou,theyknewIwas
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inChesapeakeShores.”“Havetheybeenhere?”“No,butI’llbettheyhave
thisamazingGPSthinginheavenandit’salreadyguidedthemrighthere.”“Really?”Samnodded,thoughhe
wascertainofnosuchthing.Hewantedtobelieve.Hereallydid.Butwhatsortofgodtookawayalittleboy’sparentsandlefthimallalone
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withanunclewhodidn’thaveaclueabouthowtoraisehimself,muchlessachild?Evenasthosewordscrossedhismind,herememberedLaurelsayingmuchthesamething,tellinghimitwastimetostophisrestlessroamingandgrowup.He’daccusedher—yet,again—oftryingtocontrolhim.Theheatedexchange,oneofmanyinasimilarvein,had
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occurredmonthsago,butithadbeenthelaststraw.Afterthathe’dsimplyavoidedtakinghissister’scalls,leavingmessageswhenhe’dknownshewouldn’tbehomesoshewouldn’tworry,butnotwantingtoriskanotherlectureonhisflaws.Despitethedistancethathadgrownbetweenthem,she’dneverstoppedtextingpicturesofBobbyorsendingnoteson
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specialoccasions.Tohercredit,she’ddoneallshecouldtokeepthelinesofcommunicationopen,whilehe’dbehavedlikeaspoiledjerk.He’dlivewiththatregrettherestofhislife.Samclimbedoutofthecar,
thenopenedthebackdoortohelpBobbyoutofhisboosterseat,buttheboyhadalreadyscrambledfree.Heracedacrossthewideexpanseof
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greenlawntowardthewater,thenturnedbackjustasSamfearedhemightgotopplingstraightovertheedgeofthecliffoverlookingthebay.Hehadtorememberjusthowfastasix-year-oldcouldmoveanddoabetterjobofstayingonhistoesatalltimes.“Comeon,kid.Let’sgoin
andeatdinnerbeforeitgetscold.Thenwecangetyou
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settleddownforthenight.We’vehadalongday.Tomorrow’ssoonenoughtodealwithallthecomplicatedstuff.”Andmaybebytomorrow,
he’dhavesomeclueabouthowtodothat.Surprisingly,itwasthememoryofCarrieWinters’simpulsiveoffertohelpoutwithdaycarethatcenteredhimenoughtogetthroughonemorenight.Even
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ifhenevertookheruponit,justknowingbackupwasaroundseemedtoeasehispanic.
***
Carrieknewthattheoddsofgettingthroughthemorningwithoutavisitfromhergrandfatherwerebetweenslimandnone.Toatleastpostponetheinevitable,she
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headedtothecaféonMainStreetforbreakfast.Therewasaverygoodchancetherewouldbelotsoffamilyaroundsincemanyofherauntshadstoresnearby,andhergrandmother’sartgallerywasrightaroundthecorner.TheytendedtostarttheirdayatSally’swithcoffee,raspberrycroissantsandconversation.Carriecouldcatchuponthetowngossip
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andavoidhergrandfatheratthesametime.ThenshecouldgobyNoah’sandpickupJacksonforthedaysinceNoahhadofficehoursfromearlymorninguntildinnertimeonWednesdays.Sureenough,atSally’sshe
foundherauntsBree,ShannaandHeatheralreadyontheirsecondcupsofcoffee,telltalecrumbsfromtheircroissantsstillontheirplates.Two
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raspberryandonechocolate,fromthelookofit.“Didyouleaveanyof
thosecroissantsforme?”shedemandedassheslidintotheboothbesideBree.“Iputachocolateoneaside
foryou,”Sallytoldherwithawinkasshepouredacupofcoffee.“Andthere’saraspberryforyourgrandmotherwhenshegetshere,too.”
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“Thankyou,”Carriesaidgratefully.“You’rethebest.”“Ijustknowmycustomers.
Ihearalotoftalkaboutcarbsanddietingwhenyouallareinhere,butthere’snotamorningthatgoesbythatmytrayoffreshcroissantsdoesn’tmagicallydisappear.”AfterSallylefttogether
croissant,Carrieglancedaroundthetableandnotedalltheexpectantlooks.“So,
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what’sup?”“Maybeyoushouldtell
us,”Breesuggestedslyly.“Wordonthefamilygrapevineisthatyouhadalittletiffwithamanatthepublastnight.Lukeswearshesawsparks.Hemaybealotofthings,buthe’snotusuallyattunedtothosekindofundercurrents,soI’mguessingtheyhadtobemorelikefireworksforhimto
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notice.”Carrietookadeepbreath
asshetriedtoavoidtheseaofcuriousstares.Sheneededastrategytogetoutofthisconversation.Shegazedateachwomanintently,thenbeganinnocently,“Outofmydeeprespectforyouasmyelders...”Beforeshecouldcomplete
thesentence,herwordsdrewtheexpectedhorrifiedgasps.
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Shebarelymanagedtocontainachuckleattheirpredictablereaction.“Andbecauseofmydeep
understandingofwhateachofyouwentthroughwithtoomuchmeddlinginyourlives,”shecontinued,thenbeamedatBree,“I’mgoingtoignorethatlineofconversation.”Heatherwasthefirstto
recover.“Nicelyplayed,”she
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said,anoteofgrudgingapprovalinhervoice.“Butwedon’thavetolike
it,”Shannaadded.“AndI’mgonnatellyour
motheryoucalledusold,”Breeclaimed,lookingthoroughlydisgruntled.“Sinceshe’solderthananyofus,Idoubtshe’llappreciateit.”Carrielaughed.“Ididn’t
callyouold.Isaidyouwere
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myelders.That’sanundeniabletruth.AndIdorespecteachandeveryoneofyou.BesuretotellMomIsaidthat,too.”“Sowe’renotgoingtoget
athingoutofyouabouttheman?”Heatherasked,clearlydisappointed.“Nothingtotell,”Carrie
insisted.“YoucouldalwaysaskSusieabouthim.Theguy’sworkingforMackat
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thepaper.They’reboundtohavecrossedpaths.”Allthreewomenpromptly
lookeddismayed.Carriestudiedtheirfaces,thenasked,“What?HassomethinghappenedwithSusie?Iranintoheracoupleofdaysago.Sheseemedfinethen.”“YouknowsheandMack
wantababyintheworstway,”Breesaid.“Sure,”Carriesaid.“They
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finallydecidedtoadopt.IthoughtUncleConnorwastryingtohelpwithaprivateadoptionthroughhisoldlawfirminBaltimore.SusiewaspracticallyburstingwithexcitementwhenIsawher.Shesaidthebabywasdueanyminute.”Ahorrifyingthoughtoccurredtoher.“Nothinghappenedtothebaby,didit?”“Notexactly,”Heather
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responded.“Notthewayyoumean.”“Thenwhat?”Carrie
asked.“Connorkeptcautioning
themthatthingscouldgowrong,butSusiewassosurethiswasit.Ifyousawher,youknowhowshewasfloatingonair,makingalltheseplans.Andthen,attheverylastminute,themothergottogetherwithher
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boyfriendandtheydecidedtokeepthebaby.”“Oh,no,”Carrie
whispered.“Susie’sdevastated.
Connorsaidthelookonherfacewhenhebrokethenewswassomethinghehopednevertoseeagain.NothingMacksaidordidcouldconsoleher.Shesaysshecan’tgothroughthatagain.”“She’sgivingup?”Carrie
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asked,genuinelyshocked.O’Briensdidn’tgiveupthateasily,notwhensomethingtrulymatteredasmuchasababymatteredtoSusie.“That’swhatshetold
Connor,”Heatherconfirmed.“Mackthinksshe’llcomearoundonceshegetsoverthislatestdisappointment,butIdon’tknow.Ispoketoherlastnightforabouttwominutes.Shesounded
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terrible,buttheonethingsheseemedcertainaboutwasherdecisionthatthiswasit.Iofferedtogooversoshecouldvent,butshesaidshewasn’tinthemoodforcompany,thattherewasnothingmoretobesaid,anyway.”“Andshe’snotherethis
morning,”Shannaadded.“Thelasttimetheygotcloseandtheadoptionfellapart,
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shedidn’tleavethehouseforaweek.Thistimecouldbeworse.Shereallythoughtaprivateadoptionwastheanswer,aguaranteeofsomekind,despiteallConnor’swarningsthatthingscouldgowrong.”“She’dactuallypaintedthe
nurserythistime,becausesheknewitwasgoingtobeagirl,”Breesaid.“Iwasovertherejustlastweekandshe
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haddrawersfilledwithfrillylittleoutfitsforthebaby.”“That’ssosad,”Carrie
said,unabletoimaginethedepthofSusie’sdisappointment.She’dbeensobraveallthroughherboutwithovariancancer,evenafterfindingoutshe’dneverhavechildrenofherown.Nowthis.“IsthereanythingIcan
do?”Carrieasked.
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“Shehastocometous,”Breesaid.“She’lldothatwhenshe’sready.I’mhopingshe’lltalktoJess.Forbeingsuchrivalswhentheywerekids,theyformedareallyclosebondduringSusie’scancertreatments.Maybeshe’llopenuptoher.”“Andifshedoesn’t?”
Carrieasked,notlikingtheideaofSusiegoingthroughthisalone.Familieswere
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supposedtosticktogetherintimesofcrisis,evenwhenthepersonpushedthemaway.ThatwasanotherofthelessonsNellhadtaughtallofthem.“Thenwe’llgotoherina
fewdays,”Heatherassuredher.“You,too,ifyouwanttocome.”Shesighed.“AlthoughrightnowIhaveanewbabyathome.I’mnotsurehowshefeelsaboutthat.
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Shesaysalltherightthings,butI’veseenthestrickenlookonherfacewhenshehastobearoundthebaby.”“SohaveI,”Shannasaid.
SheandCarrie’suncleKevinhadjusthadanotherchild,aswell.“Sheskippedthewholechristeningandthepartyafterward.Shehadanexcuse,butitwasprettyflimsy.”“Itmustjustaboutkillher
tobearoundallthesebabies
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inourfamily,”Breesaid.“Butwecan’tfeelguiltyaboutit.Allwecandoistrytobeunderstandingandsupportive.”Carriesatbackinherseat
andsighed,thinkingofSamandhowhe’dbecomeadadwhenheleastexpectedit.Didheappreciatewhatagiftthatwas?Maybeintimehewould,butrightnowtherewaslittlequestionthathewas
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strugglingwithit.AndtherewasSusie,desperatetoholdachildofherown,butrunningoutofoptions.Lifesometimestrulywasunfair.NellwouldassurethemallthatGodhadaplan,butCarriesurewishedHe’dletthemallinonit.
***
Mackwasathiswit’send.
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SusiehadbeensittingonthedeckoftheirhomeonBeachLaneforhours,staringoutatthebayandclutchingthehandmadebabyquiltshe’dboughtatHeather’sshop.He’dknownwhenshe’d
broughtithomethatthequiltwasabadideaandthatpaintingthenurseryandbuyingaboatloadofbabyclotheswereevenworseideas,butSusiehadn’tbeen
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deterred.She’dbelievedwitheveryfiberofherbeingthatthistimetheyweregoingtogettheirchild,adaughter,accordingtoConnor’sformerassociateinBaltimore,thelawyerhandlingthearrangements.“Babe,comeinside,”he
begged.“Youneedsomesleep.”Sheshookherhead.“Not
yet.”
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“Youwereouthereallnight.”Heknewbecausehe’dawakenedtoanemptybed.He’dcheckedonherhalfadozentimesduringthenight,butshe’drefusedtocomebacktobed.Heavingaresignedsigh,
Mackbroughthiscoffeeandjoinedheronthedeck,ignoringthelookthattoldhimshe’dprefertogorightonbeingalone.
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Hesetthecoffeeaside,thenpulledhischaircloseenoughtoreachforherhand.Eventhoughitwasawarmmorning,herhandwaslikeiceandtrembledinhis,butatleastshedidn’tpullaway.Susiewasthebravest,most
courageouswomanhe’deverknown.He’dneverseenherthisdefeated,notevenwhenshe’dbeenbattlingcancerandsickenedbychemoand
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radiation.She’dhadhershareofdownmoments,herdoubtsaboutherfuture,butthiswasdifferent.Therewasasteelyresolvebehindherdecisiontogiveup,onethatleftlittleroomforargumentorhope.“Iloveyou,”hetoldher,
holdingontight,willinghertodrawonhisstrength.Sheturnedandgavehima
vaguesmile.“Iknow.”“Areyoureadytotalk
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aboutthis?”Onceagainsheshookher
head.“Whatistheretotalkabout?”“Whatwe’regoingtodo
next,”hesuggested.“Nothing,”shesaidflatly.
“It’sover.”“It’sonlyoverifwegive
up.”“Well,that’swhatI’m
doing.I’mgivingup.”Sheturnedandgavehiman
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earnestlook.“Ican’tgothroughthisagain,Mack.NowIhavesomeideaofhowwomenfeelaftermiscarriages.Theycarrythislittlebabyinsideofthem,insidetheirhearts,evenifonlyforafewweeks,andthenit’sover.There’snobabytohold.”“Therightbabywillcome
along,”heinsisted,thoughheknewnosuchthing.“Orwe
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couldlookintoanolderchildadoption.Thinkofallthechildrenwhoneedlovingfamilies,kidswho’vebouncedaroundinfostercare.Wecouldopenourheartsandourhometothem.Maybethat’swhatwe’remeanttodo.”Susieclosedhereyesand,
hesuspected,herears,toblockouthiswords.“Ican’tdoit,Mack.Pleasedon’thate
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me,butIcan’t.”Mackwasn’tsurewhatto
say.Susiehadalwaysbeenmorecertainaboutparenthoodthanhewas.Ithadbeenherdreamand,becausehelovedhersoblasteddeeply,he’dwantedtogiveherthat,nomatterhowthechildcameintotheirlives.Hecouldacceptherdecisionandmoveon,butheknewinhishearttheday
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wouldcomewhenshe’dregretit.Maybeheneededtoacceptherdecisionfornow,thenbringthisupagainwhenthislatestwoundwasn’tsofresh.Sheglancedhisway.
“HaveyouheardfromSam?How’shecopingwithlosinghissister?”“He’sdoingokay,Ithink,”
Macksaid,relievedtohavehershowaninterestin
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something,evenifshewasonlydoingittochangethesubject.“Theaccidentcameasaterribleshock,butthere’smore.He’sreeling,infact.”Realinterestsparkedinher
eyes.“Why?Whatelsehappened?”“Hissisterandbrother-in-
lawnamedhimguardianoftheirson,asix-year-oldboy.”Shockspreadacrossher
face.“Sam’sadad?Justlike
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that?”Mackhesitated,sensing
thatthenewshadstirredenvyasmuchassurprise.Heshouldhaveconsideredthatandkeptquiet,butitwasouttherenow.“Itwasashocktohim,
too,”Mackreported.“Hesaidhe’dtellmemorewhenhegotbacktotown.Ithinkhewashopingtomakeitbylastnight.Iimaginehe’llcheckin
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latertoday.Itoldhimtotakeaslongasheneeds.Wecanmanageokayatthepaperforanotherweek,ifheneedsthatlongtodealwiththesituation.Evenlonger,ifneedbe.”Thatvacantstarereturned
toSusie’seyes.“Samhasason,”shemurmured.“Ofallpeople.”“Hey,”Mackprotested.
“Sam’sagoodguy.”
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“Isupposeso.He’satalentedwebdesigner,forsure,andatechgeniustohearyoutellit,butcomeon,Mack,doyoureallyseehimasdadmaterial?”“I’mthelastpersontoask
aboutthat.Idon’tknowwhatittakestobeagoodfather.”“Reliability’sagoodplace
tostart,”shesaid.“Samisreliable.”“Heleftyouinthelurch
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rightafterhestartedonthejob,”shesaid,acriticalnoteinhervoice.“Babe,hissisterand
brother-in-lawwerekilled.Didyouexpecthimnottoattendthefuneral?”“Well,hehasn’texactly
settleddown,hashe?He’sstilllivingattheinn.”Macksuspectedshewas
utteringthesejudgmentsforareason,onehedidn’t
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particularlylike.“He’donlybeenhereacoupleofweeks,hardlyenoughtimetofindahouseorevenanapartment,”hesaid,defendingSam.“Whereareyougoingwiththis,Suze?”“Howmanyjobshashe
heldoverthepastfewyears?Three?Four?Whatkindofmandoesthat?”sheaskedwithoutrespondingtohisquestionabouthermotives.
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“Someonewho’stalentedandverymuchindemandinanewfield,”Mackreplied,notsurewhyhewassoardentlydefendingamanhebarelyknewhimself,buthavingthefeelingthatheneededtomakehispositionclear.Susieseemedtobeheadinginaworrisomedirection.She’dlikedSamwellenoughwhenthey’dhadhimoverfordinner.Thishad
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tobeabouttheboy,thoughMackhopedhewaswrongaboutthat.“Weshouldgoovertothe
innandseehowthey’redoing,”shesaidoutoftheblue,standingupandprovingthatMack’sinstinctshadbeenrightontarget.“Thismorning?You
haven’tsleptawink.Youneedrestmorethanyouneedtoberunningaroundpaying
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socialcalls.”Shefrownedathim.“I
wanttoseeformyselfhowSam’scopingwithachildtocarefor.”SinceMackhadbeen
prayingforadistractionforSusie,evenoneasmisguidedashewassurethisonewas,hetoldhimselfhecouldcontrolthesituationandgavein.“Whileyoutakeashower,
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I’llcallJesstoseeifhe’sback.Ifheis,we’llgowhenyou’redressed,”hesaid.“Whywait?”sheasked,
givinghimabewilderedlook.“Becauseyou’vebeen
wearingthatsamerobeforthepasttwodays.Youcan’tgoanywhereinthat.”Sheglanceddownasif
surprisedbythereminder.“Iwon’ttakelong,”shepromised.“Iknowyouneed
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togettowork.Goahead,ifyouwantto.Icanstopbyonmyown.”“Notachance.I’mgoing
withyou,”Macksaid.Heneededtoseeforhimselfifhiswifeintendedsomethingmorethanakindheartedvisittoanemployeewho’djustsufferedaterribleloss.Susieleveledaknowing
gazestraightathim.“I’mnotjumpingoffthedeepend,”
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shetoldhim.“IknowIcan’tgoswoopinginandtakealittleboyawayfromSam,nomatterhowdesperateImightbefeeling.”Mackwasrelievedtohear
herexpresshisexactconcern.“I’mgladtohearthat’snotwhatyouwerethinking.”Shetouchedhischeek.“I
loveyouforcaringsomuchandforworryingaboutme.I’msad,butI’mnotcrazy.”
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Hepulledherintohisarms.“Inever,forevenasecond,thoughtyouwere.”Afaintsmiletuggedather
lips.“Itcrossedyourmind,MackFranklin.Don’tyoudaretrytodenyit.Ihonestlycan’tblameyou.IhavebeensittingaroundherewallowingeversinceConnortoldusweweren’tgoingtogetourbaby.I’llprobablywallowsomemorebeforeI’mdone.”
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Herestedhischinonthetopofherheadandheldherclose.“Takeallthetimeyouneed.AndifcheckingonSamandhisnephewwillreassureyousomehow,I’mallforit.Iimaginehe’llappreciatethegesture.Hemustbefreakingoutaboutnow.”“Ihopenot,”shesaid,her
expressionturningwistful.“Ihopehe’sonhisknees
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thankingGodforthegifthe’sbeengiven.”Macktuckedafingerunder
herchin.“Suze,ifhe’snottherejustyet,itdoesn’tmeanhewon’tgetthere.Lookhowlongit’stakenmetobelieveIcouldbeadecentparent.Aftergrowingupwithpoorexamplesinmylife,Ihadmoredoubtsthananyonecouldimagine,butyoubelievedinme.Sodidyour
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family.Samneedsoursupport,notsomebodywaitinginthewingstosnatchthatchildawayatthefirstsignofamisstep.”“Iknowthat,”shesaid,
indignationinhervoice,evenasshewascarefultoavoidhisgaze.Mackwishedshewerehalf
asconvincingasshe’dobviouslyintendedtobe.Instead,hefearedwhatmight
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happenifsheseizedonthesituationtofilltheemptyspaceinherheart.Thepastfewdaysofdespairwouldseemlikeapicniccomparedtotheheartacheinstoreifthathappened.
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4
WithSusiestillverymuchonhermind,CarriewalkedthefewblockstothehousethathadbeenconvertedintoNoah’smedicalofficesonthegroundfloor.Theupstairshadbeenturnedintoacozyapartmentforhim,Caitand
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thebaby.OnceCaitwasfinishedwithhermedicaltrainingandhomeforgood,itwouldprobablybemuchtoosmallforagrowingfamily,butfornowGrandpaMickhadconverteditintoawarm,welcominghome.Itwastoobad,Carriethought,thathertwinwasrarelyheretoenjoyitorherfamily.Carrieusedherkeytothe
sideentrancetotheoffices
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andfoundNoah’snurse,WendyKaine,alreadythere,bustlingaroundinthebrightlypaintedexaminingrooms,gettingreadyforanotherbusyday.“Youheretopickupthe
littleman?”Wendyaskedwithagrinasawailcarriedallthewayfromupstairs.“Goodluck.Heseemstobeexpressinghimselfquiteclearlytoday.Heisnota
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happylittleboy.”Carriewincedatthesound.
Noah,whopridedhimselfonsoothingevenhismostdifficultyoungpatients,mustbeathiswit’sendaboutnow.“Icouldhideoutdownheretillhisdaddygetshimcalmeddown,”shewhisperedtoWendy.“Coward,”thenurse
accused.“Marchrightonupthereandshowthetwoof
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themwho’sboss.”“Noah’sprobablytryingto
makehimeatmoreofthatboringbabycerealagain,”Carriesaid.“Jacksonreallyhatesthatstuff.IguessIshouldgoupandsavehim.”“Himwho?Jacksonor
Noah?”Wendyasked.“I’msurethebabywillappreciateit.Noah,too.IknowIwill.”Carriehurriedupthesteps,
tappedonthedoortothe
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livingquarters—notthatitcouldlikelybeheardoverthebaby’snoisysobs—andwentinside.Sureenough,Noahhada
spooninhishand,afrustratedexpressiononhisface,andfarmorecerealonhisshirtthancouldpossiblybeinthelittleboywhowaswavinghisfistsandhadbig,fattearsrollingdownhischubbycheeks.
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JacksonspottedCarrieandimmediatelyheldouthisarms.Adroolingsmilelituphisface.ShegrinnedatNoah,then
passedhimandpickeduptheeight-month-old.“That’sright,sweetie.AuntCarrieisheretosaveyoufromhavingtoeatthatnastyoldcereal.”Noahfrownedather.
“You’vebeentellingmeheeatsitforyou.”
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Sheleanedcloser,thebabyclingingtightlytoher.“Wanttoknowmysecret?”“Please,”hesaid,sounding
alittledesperate.“Imixinalittle
applesauce.Helovesapplesauce.”Noahclosedhiseyes.“Of
course.Whydidn’tIthinkofthat?”“Becauseyouprobably
nevertastedthecereal
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yourselfandhadnoideahowawfulitis.IbelievepeacheswerethefruitofchoiceforCaitandme.Andintheinterestoffulldisclosure,Ididn’tdreamthisuponmyown.MomgavemethetipafterI’dspentaweekwashingcerealoutofmyhair.”Noahlaughedthen.“Ifeel
awholelotbetternow.”Hisexpressionsobered.“Yousay
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thisworkedforyouandCait?”Carrienodded.“Hmm.Shenever
suggestedit,either.I’mthinkingmywifedeliberatelyomittedafewhelpfultipswhensheleftmeincharge.”“Couldbe,”Carrieagreed.
“Shedoesliketofeelsuperior.Now,go.Changeshirtsandgettowork.Ihavethingsundercontrolhere.As
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soonasIhaveJacksonfedandcleanedup,we’llheadonovertomyhousesopeaceshouldreignhereforyouandyourpatients.”“Thankyou,”Noahsaid,
histoneheartfelt.“Imeanit,Carrie.Idon’tknowwhatwe’ddowithoutyou.Thefirstcoupleofmonths,whenJacksonwaswithCaitinBaltimoresoshecouldbreast-feedhim,Ihadnoidea
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ofwhatshemustbegoingthrough,evenwithhelp.Iwassosureitwouldbeeasierformehere,withfamilyallaround.I’madoctor.Idealwithsickkidsonadailybasis.They’renotusuallyinthebestmood,butthey’remostlysaintscomparedtomyownson.”“Jacksonisasweetlittle
angel,”shecorrected.Noahsmiled.“Well,it’sa
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goodthingyou’resmitten.OtherwiseI’dbeupacreek.Thanksagainforpitchingin.”Hisexpressionturnedserious.“Iwantyoutoletmeknowifitgetstobetoomuchforyou,ifwe’retakingadvantage.”“Nottoworry.Ilove
havingJacksonwithme,”sheassuredherbrother-in-law.“Butitdoesn’tleavemuch
timefor...”Hisvoicetrailedoff.
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“Forwhat?”sheasked,forcingasmile.“Mybusyscheduleofwatchingthegrassgrow?Mynonexistentsociallife?Pursuingmyexcitingcareerpath?”Atherundisguisedbitter
tone,worryimmediatelyspreadacrosshisface.“Carrie,areyouokay?Seriously?Doyouwanttotalkaboutanyofthis?Icanmaketime.”
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“Absolutelynot.IthinkoneofthethingsIlovemostaboutwatchingthebabyisthathedoesn’taskquestionsIcan’tanswer.IhaveGrandpaMickdoingenoughofthat.AndMom.EvenCaitgetsinashotfromtimetotime.”“I’mhappytolisten,
though,”Noahsaid.“Beinganoutsider,Imightbeabletogiveyouadifferentperspective.”
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“Noah,Iloveyouforwantingtohelp,butwe’retalkingabouttheO’Briens.Ihavesomanyperspectivesaboutmylife,myheadisspinning.I’llfigureitout,evenifit’snotontheirtimetable.”“Ofcourseyouwill,”he
saidwithconfidence.“I’llbebytogetJacksonlater.”“OrIcanbringhimback,”
sheoffered.“Whichever’s
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easiestforyou.Justletmeknow.”AssoonasNoahhadgone,
shesatthebabybackdown,mixedsomeapplesauceintohiscerealandspooneditintohismouthatasteadyclip.Hegaveheratoothlesssmilethatalwayswarmedherheart.Today,thinkingofSusie’s
longingtohaveachildandherownfantasyaboutafamily,thatsmilemadeher
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heartache.WhenwoulditbeSusie’sturn?Orhers?
***
Firstthinginthemorning,withBobbyupandeagerforthepromisedpancakes,Samdugoutsomewrinkledbutcleanclothesforhisnephew,thentookhimdowntotheinn’sdiningroom.TohissurprisehefoundMackand
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SusieFranklininthefoyer.Susie’sgazeimmediatelylockedonBobbyandasmilespreadacrossherface.“Youmustbetheyoung
manI’vebeenhearingsomuchabout,”shetoldBobby.Bobbyregardedhershyly,
thenhidbehindSam.Samkneltdownanddrewtheboyupbesidehim.“Bobby,thisisMackFranklin.He’smybossatthenewspaper.Andthisis
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hiswife,Mrs.Franklin.”“CallmeSusie,please,”
shesaid,hergazeneverleavingBobby.“WhenIcalledthis
morningtoseeifyou’dmadeitback,Jesstoldmeyougotinlastnight,”Macksaid.“Didthetripgookay?”“Itwassmoothenough.I
shouldhaveletyouknowwe’dmadeitbacktotown,”Samapologized.
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“Absolutelynot.Youhadalottodotogetsettled,I’msure,”Macksaid.“Infact,Susieinsistedoncomingoverrightawaytoseewhatshecoulddotohelpout.”HegaveSamareassuringlook.“Thingsmustfeelprettyoverwhelmingaboutnow,butyou’renotinthisalone,okay?Iwanttomakesureyouknowthat.Weallwanttohelp.”
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“Iappreciatethat,”Samsaid,beginningtoseewhatCarriehadbeentalkingabout.Eventhoughhewasnewtotownpeoplewerewillingtopitchin.Hehatedthatoneofthemhappenedtobehisboss,amanherespectedandwantedtoimpress.Hecouldn’thelpwonderingwhatMackthoughtofthechaosthathadsuddenlybecomehislife.
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“I’mnotentirelysurewheretostart,”Samadmittedcandidly,thengrinnedatBobby’simpatienttugonhisjeans.“Excepttogetsomepancakesintomyboyhere.”“Yeah!”Bobbysaid.“Well,Icandefinitelyhelp
withthat,”Susiesaid.“I’llgointhekitchenandspeaktothechefmyself.”Bobbyregardedher
hopefully.“CanIcome,too?
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Iwanttoseewheretheymakethepancakes.WhenIgetbig,Iwanttomakethemmyself.”“Absolutely,”Susieagreed
andheldoutherhand.SheturnedtoMack.“Whydon’tyougrabatablebythewindowsowecanseethewater?”AssheandBobbyleft,
Mackwatchedthemgowithasurprisinglyworried
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expression.“Somethingwrong?”Sam
askedhimastheymadetheirwaytoatable.Mackshookoffwhatever
wastroublinghimandforcedasmile.“No,nothingforyoutoworryabout.Doyouneedmoretimeoff?LikeItoldyouwhenyoucalledtheotherday,Icanmanageforanotherweek.Imightnothavethecreative-designexpertiseyou
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have,andIdefinitelydon’thaveyourtechskills,butIcanpoststoriesandpictures.”HeregardedSamwithconcern.“Youmusthavealistamilelongofthingsyouneedtodotoadjusttohavingcustodyofyournephew.”“Youhavenoidea,”Sam
said.“Thankgoodnessmysisterandbrother-in-lawhadtheforesighttohaveawill.Toomanyyoungcouples
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thinkthey’reimmortal,accordingtothelawyer.Hesaysit’scriticaltoplanaheadwhentherearechildrentoconsider.Theyevenhadasmalllife-insurancepolicythatwillbesetasideforBobby’seducation.”Heshookhishead.“It’s
hardtoimaginemysisterbeingquitesoorganized.Neitheroneofusthoughtmuchbeyondournextmeal
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whenwewerekids.”“Maybethat’swhy,”Mack
suggested.“Kidswhogrewupinachaotichouseholdoftenfeelthegreatestneedforasenseofstability.And,incaseyou’rewondering,Iknowthatfromexperience.”HegaveSamaruefullook.“Ofcourse,IhadtogothroughaplayboystageandacareercrisisbeforeIfiguredoutwhatIreallyneededand
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gotmylifeontrack.”MaybeSamwasmorelike
Mackthanhe’drealized.Hecertainlyhadn’tchangeddramaticallyfromhisearlydaysofwantingtoseizewhateveradventurecamealongnext.Now,though?HeneededtofigureouthowtodothewholestablethinginahurryforBobby’ssake.“Maybethatexplainsit,”
hesaid,thoughhewasstill
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skeptical.Shemighthavebossedhimaroundlikeamatureadult,butshe’dhadherownwildmomentsbeforeshe’dmarried.“IthinkitwasprobablyRobert’sdoing.Laurel’shusbandwasarealsteadyguy.Moneyinthebankeveryweekforthefuture,oilchangedinthecar,tiresrotatedorreplacedrightonschedule.Itwasironic,really,thatitwasafaultytire
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blowingthatcausedtheircartospinoutofcontrolonabusyhighway.”“Thatjustshowsthatwe
can’talwaysplanforeverycurvelifemightthrowatus,”Macksaid.“I’msosorry,Sam.”Samnodded,unexpected
tearsoncemorethreatening.“Me,too,”hesaid,hisvoicechoked.Hesighedheavily,thenadded,“AllIknow
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aboutthefutureisthatIneedtoenrollBobbyinschoolthismorning.Afterthat,Idon’thavearealplan.”“Schooldoesn’tstartfor
almostamonth,”Mackremindedhim.“There’snorush.WhynotwaitatleasttillMonday?Ifyouneedtohaveanypaperworkexpedited,I’msuresomeoneinthefamilywillbeabletohelp.Susie’scousinConnorisalawyer.
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Andheruncle,MickO’Brien,cangetjustaboutanythingdonearoundherewithaphonecall.GiveBobbyafewdaystogetusedtobeinghere,lethimgetfamiliarwiththetown,meetafewkids.Giveyourselftimetogetyourfeetbackunderyou,too.”“Ijustthoughtmaybeifhe
wasenrolledinschoolandknewtherewasgoingtobeafamiliarroutine,he’dfeel
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moresettled,”Samsaid.“I’mnotsurehequiteunderstandsthatthisishishomenow.HesaysalltherightwordsaboutknowingMommyandDaddyareinheaven,butIjusthavethissensehestillexpectsthemtofindtheirwaybacktohim.”“Thatmustkillyou,”Mack
said,thenhesitated.“Look,Imaythinkabreakbeforehehastothinkaboutanything
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exceptbeingakidmightbegood,butrunitbySusie.She’ssmarteraboutthissortofthingthanIam.ItjustseemstomeBobby’salreadyhadtomakealotofbigadjustments.Acoupleofextradaystohangoutwithyoumightmakehimfeelmoresecure.Youguysprobablyneedsomeseriousbondingtime.”Samnodded.“Thatdoes
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makesense.And,likeyousaid,maybeit’llhelpmetowrapmyheadaroundeverythingthat’shappened,too.”“Whataboutaplaceto
live?”Mackasked.“I’msureJesswillgiveyouabreakhere,ifyouneedtostayonforawhilelonger.”“Shementionedthatwhen
Igotbacklastnight,”Samresponded.“Butas
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convenientandwonderfulastheinnis,it’snotalong-termsolution.ThesoonerIcanfindapermanentplaceforus,thebetteritwillbe.”“Icanhelpwiththat,”
Susiesaid,returningjustintimetooverhear.“Iknoweverypropertyintownthat’savailableforrentorforsale.Anypreference?”“I’dplannedtorentasmall
apartment,ifthereissucha
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thinginChesapeakeShores,butnow...”Hisvoicetrailedoffandheshrugged.“Bobbyneedsstability,somaybeahouse.”“Iagree,”Susiesaid
enthusiastically.“AndIalreadyknowtheperfectone.It’snottoobigandit’sonWillowBrookRoad,whichisawonderfulstreetwithlotsofshadetreesandniceyards.Thereareseveralchildren
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Bobby’sageonthestreet,andalotofthekidsinourfamilyareovertherealot,too.Mycousin’sdaughterlivesthereandshewatchesthemafterschoolfromtimetotime.”“Carrie?”Samasked.Astartledlookpassed
acrossSusie’sface.“Howonearthdidyouknowthat?”“Iranintoherlastnight
whenIwaspickingupdinner
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atO’Brien’s.Shementionedshehaschildreninandoutallthetime.”“It’snotaformaldaycare
oranythinglikethat,”Susieexplained.“Carriejusthappenstobereallygoodwithchildren,soalltheO’Brienlittleonesgravitatetoher.Theadultstaketerribleadvantageofthat.Ithinkweallknowthatsoonerorlatershe’lldecideonanewcareer
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andgobacktotheglamorouslifesheusedtolive,butinthemeantime,she’sagodsend.”ThementionofCarrie’s
previouslyglamorouslifesetoffalarmsforSam.Itonlyconfirmedwhathe’dguessedthepreviousnightjustlookingatherinanoutfitevenhecouldtellhadn’tcomeoffarackatadiscountstore.Hadn’thealreadyexperiencedonedisastrous
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relationshipthatendedbecausehe’dratherspendhismoneyonadventuresthanclothes?MaybeCarrieWinters,despiteherthoughtfuloffer,wasn’tthebestpersontobringintoBobby’slife...orhis,especiallyifherfutureinChesapeakeShoreswasasuncertainasSusiehadjustsuggested.Bobbydidn’tneedtoformanattachmentto
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anotherpersonwhomightdisappearfromhislifeatanymoment.Hehesitatedabouteven
consideringahousejustdownthestreetfromCarrie.Itseemedlikeareallybadidea.ButlookingintoSusie’sexpectantface,heknewhecouldn’taffordtoignoreahousewithrealpotential,especiallyinatownwherehealreadyknewrealestatecame
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atapremiumandwasinshortsupply.“Sure,let’stakealook,”he
said.“I’llgiveyouacallandwecansetitup.”“Youdon’twanttolook
thismorning?Ihavetime.”“Don’tpush,”Macksaid
quietly.“Samhasalottodo.”“Anythingmoreimportant
thanthis?”Susieasked,hervoicetight.WithMack’ssteadygaze
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holdinghers,shefinallybackeddown.ShereachedinherpurseandhandedSamabusinesscard.“Callmewheneveryou’reready.Buthousesdon’tstayonthemarketlonghere,”shecautioned.Samnodded,thenturnedto
Bobby,notingthathewasmakingslowbutsteadyprogressthroughastackofpancakesmoresuitedto
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Sam’sappetitethanaboy’s.“Youdoingokay,buddy?”Bobbynoddedhappily,his
mouthfull.Whenhe’dswallowed,hetookabiggulpofmilkandsaid,“Youwereright,Sam.Thesearethebest,evenbetterthanMom’s.”Asifhe’dsuddenly
realizedwhathesaid,hissmilefaded.“IsitokaythatIlikethem?”hewhispered.“It
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won’tmakeMommad,willit?”“Noway,”Samsaid.
“Yourmomonlywantedtheverybestforyoualways,whetheritwaspancakesor...”HesearchedhismindforsomethingsufficientlyyuckytoappealtoBobby’ssenseoftheridiculous.Hegrinned.“Orescargots.”Bobbywrinkledhisnose.
“What’sthat?”heasked
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suspiciously.“Snails,”Samtoldhim.WithSusieandMack
fightingsmiles,Bobbymadeagaggingsound.“Momwouldnevermakemeeatsnails.”HegaveSamawarylook.“You’renotgonna,either,areyou?”“Theyareconsidereda
delicacy,”Samtoldhim.Bobby’sjawset
stubbornly.“Idon’tcare.I’m
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noteatingthem.”Samlaughedandruffled
hishair.“Okay.Goodtoknowwhereyoudrawthelinewhenitcomestofood.Nosnails.”“Nosnails,”Bobby
repeatedfervently.Hebouncedinhisseat.“Whatarewegonnadotoday?”SamglancedatMack,then
backathissuddenlyeagernephew.“IthoughtI’dplay
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hookyandwecouldcheckouttheshopsonMainStreet,maybespendsometimeonthebeachorswiminthepool.AndIthinkIsawaplaygroundonthetowngreen.Wouldyouliketocheckthatout?”“Allright!”Bobbysaid
withafistpumpthathadeveryoneatthetablesmiling.Sambreathedinasighof
relief.Finally,afterdaysof
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awkward,disapprovingsilencesanddifficultchoicesthathadBobbyshiftingfromtantrumstooutrightrebellions,itseemedSamhadgottensomethingexactlyright.Unfortunately,itwasmostlythankstoMack’sinstinctsandnothisown.
***
EvenaftergivingJacksona
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bathanddressinghimincleanclothesafterthecerealdebacle,CarriediscovereditwasstillsurprisinglypleasantforamorninginearlyAugust.Ratherthanpushinghisstrollerstraightovertoherhouse,sheheadedforMainStreetandthenShoreRoad.HerfirststopwasGrandma
Megan’sartgallery,whichwascurrentlyshowinganexhibitionofMoira’slocal
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photographs,manyofthemtakenofO’Brienchildren,aswellasotherChesapeakeShoresresidents.Luke’swifehadbecomeasurprisinglysuccessfulphotographerthankstoMegan’scontactsintheNewYorkartworld.OutofloyaltytoMegan,Moiraalwaysinsistedonashowhereintowninlatesummer.Ithadtheaddedadvantageofgivingherasolidstretchof
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timeathomewithLuke.WhenGrandmaMegan
spottedCarriewiththebaby,sherushedovertoholdopenthedoor.“There’smyprecious
boy,”shecooed,leaningdowntoscoopJacksonoutofthestroller.“I’mdelightedtoseeyou,
too,”Carriesaid,amusedbyhergrandmother’scompletelackofinterestinanything
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otherthanherfirstgreat-grandchild.Meganglancedupather.
“Ifussedoveryoufromthedayyouwereborn.It’sJackson’sturnnow.”Shebouncedthebabyinherarms.“You’realmosttoobigformetohold.”“I’dsuggestyounot
bouncehimquitesoenergetically,”Carriecautioned.“He’sjustfinished
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hisbreakfast.”“Itwouldn’tbethefirst
timesomeoneinthisfamilyspitupalloveroneofus,”Megansaiddismissively.“Didn’tyoubuythatscarf
inPariswhenyouandGrandpaMickwentthereforyoursecondhoneymoon?”Carrieasked.“Isn’tityourfavorite?”Hergrandmotherglanced
downandshrugged.“I’lljust
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makeyourgrandfathertakemebacktobuyanotherone.”“Andhe’ddoitwithout
battinganeye,wouldn’the?”Carriesaid,envyingthemthedevotionthey’dfoundtogetherthesecondtimearound.Apparentlysomethingin
hervoicealertedMeganthatCarriewasinanoddmood.ShereturnedJacksontohisstrollerwithalittlepat,then
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turnedtoCarrie,givingherthefullattentionshe’dapparentlyconcludedwasrequired.“Wouldyoucareforsometea?It’sIrishBreakfasttea,Nell’sfavorite.”“Weshouldbegoing.
You’reprobablybusy.”“I’mnevertoobusyfora
visitwithyou.Sit.I’llgetthetea.”Whenshecameback,
Carriewaspushingthe
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strollerbackandforthandwatchingJacksonfightsleep.“Here’syourtea,”Megan
said,handingherthedelicate,old-fashionedchintz-patternedteacup.“Nowtellmewhat’sonyourmind.”“I’matlooseends,”Carrie
admitted.“Nonewsthere,”her
grandmotheragreed.“Anythoughtsaboutwhatyouintendtodoaboutit?”She
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gaveheraslylook.“Otherthanavoidingadvicefromyourgrandfather,thatis?”Carriegrinned.“How’d
youguess?”“Thewayyoutookoff
fromthepubasifyoudidn’thearhimcallingafteryoulastnight,”Megansaid.“Andthefactthatyou’reinhererightnow,ratherthaninyourownhousewhereyoucouldputthebabydownforhisnap.”
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“YouknowhowGrandpaMickis,”Carriesaid.“Imostcertainlydo,”
Meganreplied.“Thatsaid,notallofhisideasshouldbedismissedsoreadily.”“ButIneedtofindmyown
ideas,”Carrieargued.“Isn’tthatthewholepointofgrowingup,tofigureoutwhatwe’remeanttodo?Youdidn’texactlyhaveahandleonit,didyou?Youwerehow
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oldandhadfivekidsathome,whenyoudecideditwasn’tenough,divorcedGrandpaMick,movedtoNewYorkanddiscoveredhowmuchyoulovedartandworkinginagallery?”“Touché,”hergrandmother
said.“Buttherewasalittlemoretothedivorcethanmyrunningofftofindmyself.”“Iknowthat.Itwas
becauseGrandpaMickwasa
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workaholicandyoufeltlikehe’dabandonedyoutobeasinglemom,stuckathomewithfivekids.”Megansmiledatwhateven
Carrieknewtobeasimplisticversionofaverydifficulttimeinhergrandparents’marriage.“Thatdoessumitup,”
Meganacknowledged.“Oratleasttheheartofwhathappened.Here’sthe
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differencebetweenyouandme.Ididn’tknowjusthowunhappyIwasforaverylongtime,andIhurtalotofpeoplewhenItookoff,includingyourmotherandyourauntsanduncles.I’vespentalotoftimemakingamendsforthat.Youhavetheadvantageofbeingonyourown.Now’stheperfecttimeforyoutogetseriousaboutfindingyourdream.Tomake
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yourmistakeswhentheonlypersonlikelytobehurtisyou.”Carriemethersympathetic
gaze.“You’retalkingaboutMarc.”“Notexactly.I’mtalking
aboutwhatyoudidtoyourself.Youworkedyourselfintoexhaustiontoimpressamanwhodidn’tappreciateit,”Megancorrected.“Thegoodnewsis
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thatyouhadsenseenoughtoleavebeforeyouweretrappedbyamarriagethatwasdoomed.”Carrierolledhereyes.
“Trustme,marriagewasneveronthetable,exceptmaybeinmyfantasy.Marchadanentirelydifferentagenda.Hewasaselfish,manipulativemanwhotookadvantageofthefeelingsheknewIhadforhim.Icansee
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thatnow.”“Goodforyou!Youwon’t
makeasimilarmistakeagain,willyou?”“Isurehopenot.”Hergrandmotherstudied
herworriedly.“You’renotgoingtoletthatonemistakekeepyoufromtakingrisksoropeningyourheartagain,areyou?Becausethatwouldbearealtragedy.Youhavesomuchpotential,Carrie,so
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muchlovetogive.”“ButIneedapurpose,”
Carrietoldher.“GrandpaMickhasbeenharpingonthateversinceIleftEurope.”“Andhe’sright.Everyone
needsapurpose,apassionthatmakesthemwanttogetupinthemorning.”“SoyouthinkI’mwasting
time,too?”“No,Ithinkyou’retaking
yourtimetryingtoavoid
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anothermistake.That’snotyou.You’remyimpulsive,embrace-everythinggranddaughter,butsuddenlyyou’rescared.Ithinkthat’swhatIhatemostaboutMarcReynolds.Herobbedyouofthatwonderful,spontaneousspiritthatmadeyouspecial.IfImayofferonepieceofadvice,it’sthis.Starttakingchancesagain,Carrie.Ifsomethingfeelsright,tryit.If
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someonefeelsright,openyourheart.”“Maybeyou’reright,”
Carrieacknowledged.“MaybeIhavebeenplayingitsafe.”Shegavehergrandmother
aplaintivelook.“OrmaybeIsimplyhavenoideawheretogofromhere.”Hergrandmotherwrapped
herinatightembrace.“You’llknowitwhenit
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comesalong.Inthemeantime,I’lltrytogetyourgrandfathertogiveyousomespace.”Carrielaughed.“Thanks
fortheoffer,butwebothknowthat’salosingfight.I’lljusttunehimout.”Shetriedtoimaginehow
wellthatwouldworkandcouldn’t.“I’dbettergetJacksonhome.He’llbeawakeagainanyminuteand
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hetendstowakeupcranky.Wedon’twanthimscaringoffyourcustomers.”“Wednesdaysareusually
slow.I’mnotworried.I’mgladyoucameby,sweetheart.”“Me,too.Loveyou.”Surprisingly,thoughthere
hadbeennosuddenburstsofinspirationduringtheirconversation,Carriefeltatpeacewhensheleft.That
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lastedtwowholeblocksuntilshespottedSamWinslowsittingonabenchbytheplayground,andhisnephewheadingstraightforthetoprungsofthejunglegym.Carrie’sbreathcaughtin
herthroatasshepushedthestrollerasfastasshecouldintheirdirection.Shedidn’tdarecalloutforfeartheboywouldtakeamisstepandtumblestraighttotheground.
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Withhereyesgluedtotheboy,shemadeittothebaseofthejunglegymandstoodtherewatchinghiseverymove,readytocatchhimifhefell.ShesensedSam’s
approach,butneverlookedaway.“Whatwereyouthinking?”
shesaidinaquietvoice.“Didyouhaveanyideawhathewasdoing?”
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“OfcourseIdid,”Samsaiddefensively,hiswelcomingsmileimmediatelyfading.“I’mnotcompletelyincompetent.Bobby’sbeenclimbingjunglegymssincehewasfour.He’salittledaredevil.”Heleveledalookather.
“Don’tbelieveme?”Hewhippedouthiscellphoneandshowedherapictureofatriumphantlittleboyatop
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anotherjunglegymwithawomanwhowasclearlyhismomstandingwatchjustbelow,atremuloussmileonherlips.“Yoursister?”Carrie
asked.Samnodded.“Shelooksterrified.”“Butshelethimdoit,”
Sampointedout.“Thedifferenceisshewas
standingrightbelowincase
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hefell.”“AndIwassittingafew
feetaway.Imayhavelookeddistractedtoyou,buttrustme,Isawhiseverymove.AndyousawfirsthandhowquicklyIgotoverherewhenyouturnedup.”“Isuppose.”“Carrie,Imaybenewat
this,butI’mnotgoingtoletanythinghappentoBobby.Mysistertrustedmetogetit
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right,andIwill.”Shelookedintohiseyes
thenandheardthesinceritybehindhiswords.“ThenIshouldrelaxandleaveyoutoit.”“Oryoucouldgotothe
caféwithus.IpromisedBobbyamilkshakeandagrilledcheesesandwichforlunch.”Shewasalittletootempted
bytheinvitation.“Ishould
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probablygetJacksonhome.”Samlookedatthesleeping
babyandsmiled.“Isthisyournephew?”“TheoneandonlyJackson
McIlroy,”sheconfirmed.“Hisdad’sthedoctorintown.Withanadventurouskidinyourlife,you’llwanttogettoknowhim.”“Absolutely,”Samsaid.
“Now,aboutlunch.Howaboutit?Youcangrumble
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thatnothingI’mfeedingBobbyishealthy.”Carrielaughedandthought
aboutwhathergrandmotherhadjustadvised,openingherhearttonewexperiences,evenifshewasn’tquitereadyforanewman.“Well,whenyouputitthat
way,itshouldbefun,”shesaid.“MaybeI’llevenletyouholdthebaby,ifhewakesupcrying.Thatcouldbeeven
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moreentertaining.”“Hey,I’mbarelyholding
myheadabovewaterasitis.Onekidatatime,okay?”“Okay,”sherelented.“I’ll
gosaveatable.It’sgoingtobehoppingintheresoon.”Evenasshewalkedaway,
sheheardhimtryingtopersuadeBobbytoclimbdown.Theboypromptlyrefused.“Don’tmakemecomeup
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thereafteryou,”Samwarned.Asmuchasshewantedto
turnaroundandwatchthetestofwillsplayout,shekeptgoingtoSally’s.Lunchpromisedtobeoneofthoseinterestingadventuresthathadbeeninshortsupplyrecently.
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5
“Twiceinoneday?”SallycommentedwhenCarriewalkedintothecafé.“TowhatdoIowethehonor?”“I’mmeetingafriend.At
leastIamifhecangethisnephewtoleavetheplayground.”
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“Ah,youmustbetalkingaboutSam,”Sallysaid,provinghowefficienttheChesapeakeShoresgrapevinecouldbe.“Iheardaboutwhathappened,thatoutoftheblue,he’sgothisnephewtoraise.”Sheshookherhead.“Poorlittlething.Hemustbefeelingsolostwithouthismomanddad.AndSammustbefeelingcompletelyoutofhisdepth.YouruncleKevin
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wouldknowwhatthatwaslike.”Carrieimmediatelysatupa
littlestraighter.“Whydidn’tIthinkofthat?UncleKevinsuddenlyfoundhimselfasingledadwhenGeorgiawaskilled.ThewholefamilypitchedinwithDaveyuntilKevingothisfeetbackunderhim.IshouldarrangeforSamtomeethim.”Sallygaveheralonglook.
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“Howdidthisbecomeyourproblem?”“Itoldyou.Sam’sa
friend.”“Ithoughthewasnewto
town.”“Okay,wejustmet,buthe
obviouslyneedshelp.Kevincangivehimsomeencouragement,tellhimhewon’tfeelasifhe’sflounderingforlong,”Carriesaid,warmingtotheidea.
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“LookatKevin’slifenow.He’smarriedtoShanna.TheyhaveDavey,andanadoptedson,Henry,andtwokidsoftheirown.”“Youplanningtostepin
andbethisman’sShanna?”Sallyasked,asparkofdevilmentinhereyes.Carrie’sjawdroppedatthe
question.“No,ofcoursenot.I’mjustbeingneighborly.”Sallylookeddoubtful.
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“Keeptellingyourselfthat.Youwantyourusualtodrink—anicedtea?”Carrieshookherhead,
determinednottobesopredictable.Maybeitwassilly,butshevieweditasafirststeptowardgettingmorespontaneitybackintoherlifejustasGrandmaMeganhadadvised.She’dbeenright.Playingitsafewasn’tCarrie’sway.
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“IthinkI’llgocrazyandhaveanothercupofcoffee,”sheannouncedwithagreatersenseoftriumphthanthedecisiondeserved.Sallynoddedandwentto
greetagroupoftouristswho’djusttakenovertwotablesinthemiddleoftheroom,usinghalfthechairsforalltheirpackages.ClearlytheirvisithadbeengoodfortheChesapeakeShores
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economy.JustthenSamcameinthe
door,afirmhandonhisnephew’sshoulder.TheboyworeamutinousexpressionasSamguidedhimtotheboothwhereCarriewaswaiting.“Carrie,thisisBobby.
Bobby,CarrieistheniceladywhohelpedmedecideonthatdeliciousIrishstewwehadfordinnerlastnight.”
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Ignoringbothherandhisuncle,Bobbycrawledacrosstheseatandsettledinacornerofthebooth,armsfoldedacrosshischest,hisgazedowncast.“Sorry,”Sammouthed.Carriedebatedherstrategy,
thenoptedtobedirect,actingasifBobbyweren’tsodeterminedtopunishSamandpretendshedidn’texist.“Isawyouclimbthat
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junglegymontheplaygroundjustnow,”shesaid,hertonecheerful.Bobbygaveherasurprised
look,butremainedstubbornlysilent.Carriewasundaunted.
“Youwerereallyhigh.Youmustbeverybrave.Howoldareyou?”ShesawSamstartto
answerforhim,andshookherhead.Hesatbackand
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waited.“IthinkIwasaboutyour
agewhenmytwinsisterandIclimbedupontherailingontheporchatmygrandfather’shouseandtriedtowalkitlikeatightrope,”shecontinuedasifhe’dresponded.“Itwasprettyscary,butfun,too.Atleasttillourmomcaughtus.”Bobbyfinallymether
gaze,afaintinterestsparkinginhiseyes.“Wasitvery
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high?”“Notashighasthejungle
gym,butprettyhigh.”“Iliketoclimbstuff,”he
said.“AndInevergetscared.”“That’sgreat,butit’s
importanttounderstandthatsomethingshaverisks.Youdon’twanttodoanythingthatmightbedangerous.Abrokenarmorlegwouldn’tbemuchfun.”
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Bobbyshrugged.“MyfriendPetehadacastonhisarm.Hesaidititched.Andtherewerelotsofthingshecouldn’tdoforalongtime.”“Somethingtoremember,”
Carriesuggested.“Iheardyoumightwantagrilledcheesesandwichforlunch.That’smyfavorite,too.Sally’sarethebest.”Curiosityfinallyovercame
hisbadmood.“Isthatthe
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ladywhoownsthisplace?”Carrienodded.“Andhere’s
anothertip.Ifyou’renicetoher,shesometimeshascookiesstillwarmfromtheovenforherbest-behavedcustomers.”Bobby’seyeswidened.
“Chocolatechip,likewehadlastnight?”“Evenbetter,”Carriesaid,
prayingNellwouldforgiveherifsheeverheardabout
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thattraitorousclaim.“Ithinkyou’vesaidthe
magicwords,”Samsaid.“BobbyandIarebothsuckersforwarmchocolate-chipcookies.”“Icaneatlotsandlotsof
them,”Bobbyagreed.“Butonlyafterlunch,”
SamremindedhimjustasSallyarrivedtotaketheirordersfortwogrilledcheesesandwiches,aburgerforSam
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andanorderoffriesforthetable.Clearlymoreateasenow,
BobbyglancedacrossthetableandstudiedJacksoninhiscarrier.“Isthatyourbaby?”“No,Jacksonismy
nephew.Hestayswithmesometimes.”“LikeI’mstayingwith
Sam?”“Notexactly,”Carriesaid.
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“Hegoeshometohisdadatnight.Hisdad’sadoctorhereintownandhismomisinschoolinBaltimore.”Bobbylookedpuzzled.“If
she’samom,isn’tshetoooldforschool?”Carriesmiled.“Thisisa
specialschoolforpeoplelearningtobedoctors.”“Isshegonnagiveshots?”“Iimagineso.”Hegaveanexaggerated
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shudder.“Idon’tlikeshots.”“Mostpeopledon’t,”
Carrieagreed.“ButIhappentoknowthatJackson’sdadgivesshotsthatyoubarelyevennotice.”“Didhegiveonetoyou?”“Morethanone.Iwas
goingonatripandneededseveralbeforeIwent.”Bobbyshookhishead.“I’d
havestayedhome.”“Andmissedoutonabig
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adventure?”Carriesaid.“Ithoughtitwasworthit.”“Wheredidyougo?”Sam
asked.“Africa.Mygrandfather
hastakenonthetaskofdesigningandbuildingmedicalfacilitiesforseveralsmallvillages,somethingthat’sincreasinglycriticalwithalloftheoutbreaksofEbolathathavebeenoccurringinthatpartofthe
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world.Iwentwithhimandmygrandmothertotalktothepeopleandseewhattheyneeded.Whilehedidhisthing,weworkedwiththewomeninthevillagestohelpwiththeirEnglishandteachthemsomepreventativecarefortheirbabies.”“That’simpressive.Are
youinvolvedinhisworkonaregularbasis?”“Notreally.Helpingin
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underservedvillagesismysister’spassion.It’sthereasonshe’sstudyingtobeadoctor.Andthetripwasmygrandfather’swayoftryingtomotivatemetogetonwithmylife.”“Whatdoyoudonow,
asidefromtakingcareofyournephew?”Samasked.“Notmuch,”shesaid
candidly.“Andthat’stheproblem.”Reliefwashedover
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herwhenshesawSallycomingwiththeirfood.“Here’sourlunch.”ShestoleaFrenchfryfrom
theplatetheminuteitwasonthetable,avoidingSam’scuriousgaze.Sheglancedhiswayagainandrealizedshe’dbeenwrong.Itwasn’tcuriosityonhisface.Hisexpressionhadactuallyshutdownasifhedisapprovedofherglibresponse.
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Okay,maybeherlifewasabitofadisorganized,unplannedmessatthemoment,butwhowashetojudge?Asshefocusedherattentiononhermeal,itdawnedonherhowannoyingsnapjudgmentscouldbe.PerhapsthatwasexactlyhowSamhadfeltearliertodayandlastnight,whenshe’dbeenjudginghim.Maybeshe’dbeenalittle
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prematureintellingSallytheywerefriends.Theywere,atbest,distrustfulacquaintances.Withsurprisingregret,sherealizedshedidn’tseethatchanginganytimesoon.
***
ExceptforCarrie’sabilitytocoaxBobbyoutofhisstonysilence,lunchhadpretty
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muchbeenadisaster,Samdecidedasheheadedbacktotheinnwithhischatteringnephewathisside.Hecouldn’texactlyponderwhathadgonewrong,though,withBobbyaskingamillionandonequestionsaboutthetown,thebayandeverybirdtheysaw.Sam’sanswerswereinshortsupply.Whoknewasix-year-oldcouldbesobrightandinquisitive?
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“Whydon’twelookforsomebooksaboutallthatthenexttimewe’reintown?”hesuggestedatlast.“Wecouldgobacknow,”
Bobbysaid,gazingupathimhopefully.“Isawabookstorerightnexttowhereweate.”“Areyousureyoudon’t
wanttotakeanap?”“Idon’ttakenaps,”Bobby
scoffed.“I’mtoobig.”Samsighed.“Okay,then.
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Let’sgoback.”ThiswasSam’sfirstvisit
tothebookstore.Hewassurprisedbyhowextensivetheselectionappearedtobe.Itevenhadacozylittlecoffeearea.Bobbyimmediately
gravitatedtowardthechildren’ssection,wherebookshadbeenleftscatteredaroundandchild-sizefurnitureinvitedkidstosit
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andlookatthebooksorplaywiththebook-themedtoys.Clearlytheownerunderstoodalotaboutchildren.Itwasanatmospherethatinvitedcuriosityandexploration,ratherthanonethatsaidHandsOff!Awomanemergedfrom
thebackandbeamed,firstatBobby,thenathim.“Hi,I’mShannaO’Brien,”shesaid,holdingoutherhandtoSam.
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“Andyou’rethenewwebdesignerworkingwithMack.”Samblinked,astounded
notonlybyherperceptiveness,butbyherlastname.“Excusemeforlettingmyjawdrop,”hesaid.“ButI’mbeginningtothinkO’Briensareeverywhere,”Shelaughed.“Prettymuch,
andwithallthebabiesinthenextgeneration,Idon’tsee
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thatchanging.”“HowdidyouknowwhoI
am?”“IranovertoSally’sahalf
houragotopickupasandwich.IspottedyouwithCarrieandthislittleguy.Itdidn’ttakelongtoputtwoandtwotogether.Wehaveverygoodmathskillsinthistown,atleastwhenitcomestothatsortofthing.”“I’dbetterrememberthat,”
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hesaid,notsurehowhefeltaboutsomanypeople,nomatterhowwell-intentioned,knowinghisbusiness.Shannahadgonetokneel
downnexttoBobby.“So,whatkindofbooksdoyoulike?”“Allkinds,”Bobbysaid.
“Mymomreadtomeeverynightbeforebed.”HeglancedupatSam,hisexpressionsad.“Willyoudothat?Ipacked
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someofmyfavorites,butIlikenewstories,too.”“Absolutely,”Samsaid
readily,gratefultogetahandleonsomethinghewascapableofdoingtomakeBobby’stransitiontothisnewlifeatinybiteasier.“Youpickoutwhateverbooksyouwantandwe’llreadthemtogether.”Lookingrelieved,Bobby
turnedbacktoShanna.“Do
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youhavebooksaboutthebayandthebirdsaroundhere?”“Isuredo,”shesaid,
pullingseveraloffashelf.“Therearealotmore,butthey’reforgrown-ups.Ifyouwanttoknowmorewhenyou’vebeenthroughthese,comebackandwe’llseeifoneofthoseappealstoyou.”SheglancedatSam.“I’mabigbelieverinencouragingchildrentoreadabout
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whateverintereststhem,evenifthebooksweremeantforadults.Theymightstumbleoversomeofthewords,butitkeepstheminterested.”Bobbywasalready
engrossedinapicturebookaboutlocalshorebirds,sosheturnedherattentionbacktoSam.“I’mtryingtoconvinceThomasO’Brientostartasummerclassfortheyoungerkidsintown.Healreadyhas
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anactivegroupatthehighschool,butinmyopinionchildrenarenevertooyoungtodevelopapassionfortheworldrightaroundthem.Thomasrunsthefoundationtopreservethebay,andI’vetoldhimthebestwaytoassurethatthebaygoesonbeingprotectedistosparkinterestatanearlyage.DoyouthinkBobbywouldliketojoin?”
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Samglanceddownathisnephewandsmiled.“Ithinkthat’syouranswer.He’stheonewhoinsistedwecomeintodayandfindthesebooks,andwejustarrivedbackintownlastnight.”“Thomasandmyhusband
willbethrilledaboutthatenthusiasm.Kevin—andyes,he’sanO’Brien,oneofMick’ssons,infact—workswithThomas.Betweenuswe
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havethreeboysandagirl,ranginginagefromafewmonthstoseventeen.We’llhavetohavethetwoofyouoverfordinner,soBobbycanmakesomenewfriends.”“Thatwouldbegreat,”
Samsaid,likingthisopen,generouswomanatonce.“ShouldIinviteCarrie,
too?”sheaskedslyly.Heblinkedatthe
obviousnessofthequestion.
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“Uptoyou,”hesaid.“It’syourdinner.”Shegaveanodof
satisfaction.“I’lltakethatasayes.Nowletmeringupthosebooks,unlessyouwanttolookaroundforsomeforyourself.”“IthinkI’mgoingtobe
spendingallmysparetimereadingthesewithBobby,”hesaid.“I’llfindsomeformyselfthenexttimewecome
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in.”“Anyparticulargenre?”“Adventuretravel,”he
suggested.Bookswereprobablytheonlywayhewasgoingtosatisfyhiswanderlustfortheforeseeablefuture.“You’reinluck.Ihavea
greatselection.Thereareafewotherpeopleintownwhohavethetimeandmoneytotravel,soItrytoorderthe
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latestbooksforthem.”“Youmustgettoknow
yourcustomersreallywell,”Samsaid,impressed.“It’stheonlywayfora
small,independentbookstoretosucceedthesedays,”shesaid.Whentheirpurchaseswere
paidforandbaggedintwoseparatebagssoBobbycouldcarryacouplehimself,shegaveSamanothersmile.“I’ll
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beintouchaboutdinner.Probablyonenightnextweek.IknowTuesdayisdeadlinenightatthepaper,soI’llaimforWednesdayorThursday.”“Great,”Samsaid.OutsideBobbywas
practicallyskippingacrossthestreetinexcitement.“Canwereadwhenwegetbacktotheinn?”“Wouldyouratherdothat
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thanswim?”Samasked,surprised.“Uh-huh,”Bobbysaidwith
anod.“IalwayslikeditwhenMommyreadtome.”“Thenthat’swhatwe’ll
do,”Samsaid.Heheldouthishand.“Holdmyhandwhenwecrossthestreet,buddy.”Bobbytuckedhishand
trustinglyintoSam’s,thengavehimashylook.“Ithink
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maybebeinghereisgoingtobeokay.”Thesoftlyspoken
commentbroughtthestingoftearstoSam’seyes.Hewasgladforthesunglassesthatkeptthosetearsfromhisnephew.“Iknowit’sgoingtobeokay,Bobby,”hesaid,histonemorereassuringthanitmighthavebeeneventwenty-fourhoursearlier.“We’regoingtobeateam,youand
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me.”Bobbygrinned.“Ilike
beingonateam.DoyouthinktheyhaveT-ballhere?”“Iimaginetheydo.”“CanIplay?”“Ifyouwantto.”“Willyoucometothe
gameslikeDaddydid?”“Youbet.”Samstudiedthesatisfied
expressiononhisnephew’sfaceandrealizedturninginto
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adadwasn’tgoingtobequiteasterrifyingashe’dimagined.Bobbywasalreadyshowinghimtheway.
***
Jacksonwasdownforhisafternoonnap,thoughhowhecouldsleepwithDaveyandHenryfightingoveravideogameinthelivingroomwasbeyondCarrie.
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“Hey,youtwo,alittlequieter,please.Thebaby’ssleeping.”“Oops,”Henrysaid,his
expressionimmediatelyturningserious.“Shouldn’tyouhave
outgrownthiscompetitivethingwithyouryoungerbrotherbynow?”sheteased.“You’reonlyayearawayfromgoingtocollege.”Hegrinned.“I’mjust
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warmingupforcollege,”heinformedher.“Ihearitgetsprettywildandcompetitiveinthedormsandfraternityhouses.”“Whateverhappenedtothe
sweet,seriouslittleboywhofirstcametotowntolivewithShanna?”Carrieasked,rememberinghisarrivaleventhoughshe’dbeenjustafewyearsolder.“Igotturnedintoan
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O’Brien,”hesaid,thengaveheratauntinglook.“Youwanttoplay?”Davey’seyeslitup.“Yeah,
Carrie,takehimdown,okay?”“I’mnogoodatthis
game,”sheprotestedinnocently.“Youbothknowthat.”Still,shesatdownandtookDavey’sremote.“Don’tbetoohardonme,okay,Henry?”
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Fifteenminuteslater,she’dwipedthefloorwiththesmugteenager,provingheandDaveyweren’ttheonlycompetitivepeopleintheroom.Daveyhooted.Henry’sgazenarrowed
suspiciously.“Haveyoubeenpracticingbehindourbacks?”“Itismygameinmy
house,”shetoldhim.“Whatdidyouthink,thatI’dletyougoontrouncingme?”
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Henrylaughed.“Iwashoping.Ineedsomebodyaroundtokeepmyconfidencehigh.UncleConnorsuredoesn’tletmewinandevenDavey’sgettingtobemorethanIcanhandle.IguessI’llhavetostartplayingwiththebabiesifIwantasurefirewin.”“Arethereanymoreof
thosecookies,Carrie?”Daveyasked.“I’dlikea
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couplefortheroad.Weneedtogethomefordinner.”Shegavehimasternlook.
“WhichisexactlywhyI’mnotgivingyoumorecookies.Idon’twantyourmomordadoverhereyellingatmeaboutspoilingyourappetites.”Justthenherphonerang
andshespottedShanna’snameonthecallerID.“Speakofthedevil.”“IsthatMom?”Davey
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asked.Carrienodded.“Thenwe’dbettermove,”
Henrysaid,leaningdowntogiveherakissonthecheek.“Bye,Carrie.Seeyou.”“Seeyou,”Daveysaid,
boundingoutthedooraheadofhisbigbrother.Carriesighedandanswered
thephone.“Yourboysareheadinghomerightnow.”“Goodtoknow,”Shanna
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said.“Butthat’snotwhyIcalled.”“Oh?What’sup?”“Areyoufreefordinner
nextWednesdayorThursday?”“Sure,eitherone,”Carrie
saidwithoutbotheringtocheckhercalendar.“It’snotasifIhavealotofcommitmentsthesedays.Anythingspecialgoingon?”“Notreally.Wejust
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haven’tseenenoughofyoulately,”Shannasaid.Thecommentwasso
completelyuntrueitwaslaughable.“Isawyouthismorning,”Carrieremindedher.“AndHenryandDaveyjustleftmyhouse.IseeallofyouatSundaydinneratGrandpaMick’s.What’sthisreallyabout?Anddon’tfib.You’renogoodatit.”“IinvitedSamWinslow
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andhisnephewfordinner,”Shannaadmitted.“Oh,boy,”Carrie
whispered.“Ifyou’retryingtodosomematchmaking,quitit.SamandIhavesomeissues.”“NotthatIcouldseeat
lunchtoday,”Shannaargued.“ItwasquitethelittlefamilysceneinSally’s.”“Yousawus?”“OfcourseIdid.Ifitwas
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supposedtobeasecretrendezvous,itmighthavebeenbettertohaveitsomeplacemoresecludedandminusthekids.”“Youaresofaroffbase,”
Carrietoldher.“ThereisnothingatallbetweenSamandme.There’snotlikelytobe,either.I’mnotcrazyaboutsomeofthedecisionshe’sbeenmakingaboutBobbyandhedoesn’tseemallthat
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crazyaboutme,period.Letthisgo,Shanna.I’mgladyouinvitedhimover.EarliertodayIwasthinkingheandKevinmighthavealotincommon,givenhowabruptlytheybothbecamesingledads.Trustme,though.You’llhaveamuchbettertimewithoutmethere.”“IalreadytoldhimIwas
invitingyou.”ThatgaveCarriepause.
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“Andhedidn’timmediatelycomeupwithanexcusetoavoidthewholething?”“Nope.Helookedmore
likeamanwhowashappysomeonewassteppingintopushthetwoofyoutogetheragain.”“Iseriouslydoubtthat.”Shannawassurprisingly
silentforaboutaminute.“Youknow,Itakeitback,”shesaid.
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Carriewasstartledbythesuddenturnaround.Shedidn’tlikethedisappointmentthatimmediatelyspreadoverher.“You’rewithdrawingtheinvitation?You’recancelingdinner?”“Nope,”Shannasaid
decisively.“I’mmovingitup.It’stomorrownight.Idon’twantyoutohaveawholeweektotalkyourselfoutofcoming.Sam,either.Seven
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o’clock.I’llcallhimrightnowtoconfirm.”“ButIneversaidyes.”“Oh,you’llbehere,”
Shannasaidconfidently.“Don’tyouhaveenoughissueswiththefamilywithoutaddingcowardtothelist?”“That’snotfair,”Carrie
grumbled,knowingShannahadsetaveryneattrapforher.“Lifeisrarelyfair,”
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Shannasaidbrightly.“ButO’Briensalwayscope.Seeyoutomorrow,sweetie.”ShehungupbeforeCarrie
couldformanotherprotestorthinkofasinglewaytowiggleoutofthecommitment.Maybe,ifshewerevery,verylucky,Samwoulddothewiggling.Sadly,withthewayherluckwasrunninglately,itwouldn’thappenthatway.
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Andsomewhere,deepdowninside,atraitoroussparkofanticipationwasdoingalittlejigaboutthat.
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6
SamhadbeensurprisedtohearfromShannasoquicklyaboutdinner.Infact,she’dcaughthimsocompletelyoffguard,hehadn’tbeenabletocomeupwithasingleexcusetorefuse,eventhoughhewasn’tcrazyabouther
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obviousattempttothrowhimtogetherwithCarrie.Hetoldhimselfhe’dacceptedforBobby’ssake.ThatwastheonlythingthatgavehimanycomfortasheapproachedShannaandKevin’shouseonaquietsidestreetnotfarfromdowntown.Thoughthehouseappeared
smallfromthestreet,hediscoveredonenteringthatappearanceshadbeen
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deceiving.Therehadbeenadditionsontotheback,includingabigsunroomwhereababyinpinkwasbouncinginachildseat,atoddlerwasclimbingalloverateenagerastheboytriedtoplayavideogameandyetanotherboywaslaughinghysterically.“Waytogo,”thelaughing
youngstertoldthetoddler.“Gethimoffofme,”the
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olderboypleaded,stilltryingtoconcentrate.“Noway!”theotherboy
declared.“He’smysecretweapon.”“IthoughtCarriewasyour
secretweapon.Youloveditwhenshebustedmychopsyesterday.”Shannastoodinthe
doorway,shakingherhead.“Welcometomyworld,”shetoldSam.Sheraisedher
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voice.“Boys!Wehavecompany.”“Henry,Daveyand
Johnny,”shesaidasshepointedtoeachofthem.“Thebaby’sKelly.Everyone,thisisSam.He’sworkingwithMackatthepaper.Andthisishisnephew,Bobby.”Bobbyhungbackshyly,
butsurprisinglyitwastheteenagerwhocameoverandheldoutahand.“Hey,
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Bobby,doyoulikevideogames?”Bobbynodded.“Thenyoucanbeonmy
side.Davey’senlistedthelittlemonkeyovertheretotrytodistractmewhenit’smyturn.Youcandothesamewhenit’sDavey’sturn.”“Youwantmetoclimbon
him?”Bobbyaskedskeptically.Henrylaughed.“Whatever
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works,”hesaid.“You’llthinkofsomething.”Bobbylookedhesitantlyup
atSam.“Isitokay?”BeforeSamcouldanswer,
Shannasteppedin.“Dowhateveryouneedtodo,”shetoldBobby.“Justnohittingorbiting.Thosearethehouserules.”SheturnedtoSam.“We
probablydon’twanttowatchthis.ComewithmeandI’ll
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getyouaglassofwine.KevinshouldbeheresoonandCarrie’sonherway.She’sstoppingtopickupdessert.Nellbakedtoday.Honestly,Idon’tknowhowNelldoesit.Onceaweekthere’sKevin’sfavoriteapplepie,acoconutcakeforConnorandhisfamily,chocolatecakeforAbbyandTrace,sconesforanybodywhowantsthem.Shemust
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havebeenabakerinherpreviouslife.She’ddoallthepastryfortheinn,ifJesswouldlether.Nowthatshe’sinhereighties,weallthinksheshouldslowdown,butshe’shavingnoneofit.Haveyoumetheryet?”Samshookhishead.“ButI
havehadafewofherchocolate-chipcookies,”Samsaid.“CarriegavemesomewhenIstoppedbyO’Briens
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theothernight.”Shanna’seyeslitup.“Did
youtrythestew?That’sNell’srecipe,too.Infact,mostofthefoodinthepubisbasedontraditionalrecipesshelearnedwhenshestayedwithhergrandparentsinIrelandyearsago.”“SoLukeinheritedher
skillinthekitchen?”Shannalaughed.
“Absolutelynot.She
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despairedofteachinghimathing.HebroughtinachefandNelltrainedhim.Shestilllooksoverhisshoulderregularlytobesurehe’snotmessingup.Nothinggoesonthemenuunlessithasherstampofapproval.ForaguywholearnedtocookinaNewYorkdeli,he’sadaptedquitewelltoNell’sIrishfavorites.EverynowandthenhesneaksaReubenora
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pastramisandwichontothemenuasaspecial,andNellpretendsnottonotice.”JustthenCarrie’svoice
carrieddownthehallwaytothebigopenkitchen.Samfeltanimmediateandtroublingsparkofanticipation.Apparentlyhecouldtellhimselfathousandtimesthatgettinginvolvedwithherwasabadidea,buthistestosteronewasn’t
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convinced.“Anybodyhere?”she
calledout.“Inthekitchen,”Shanna
repliedasshepouredtwoglassesofwine.ShehandedonetoSam,thenheldouttheothertoCarrieasshesetthepieonthecounter.“Gramsaystoheatthisup
beforeyouserveit,”CarrieinstructedShanna.“Asifshehasn’ttoldme
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thateverysingleweeksincethedayImarriedKevin,”Shannasaid.Carrielaughed.“She
doesn’tliketoleaveanythingtochanceandI’mprettysureshe’sconvincedthatnotaoneofusinheritedasinglebitofherculinaryskill.”“Nottrue,”Shannasaid.
“Kevin’sactuallyquiteadeptinthekitchen.He’sjustneverhometocook.”
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Hewalkedinjustintimetooverhearthecomment.“I’mherenow,”hesaid,givingherathoroughkiss.“AndIalwaystakecareoftheimportantthings,right?Likethis?”Laughing,Shannashoved
himawaywhenheclearlywouldhavestolenanotherkiss.“Company,Kevin.”“It’sjustCarrie,”hesaid.“AndSamWinslow,”
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Shannasaid,givinghimagentleelbowintheribs.“Sam,myhusband,KevinO’Brien.”SamgrinnedatKevin’s
suddenlychagrinedexpression.“Ididn’trealizewehadcompanycompany,”heapologized.“IthoughtitwasjustCarrie.”“Thanks,”Carrie
grumbled,feigninganinsultedlook.“Alwaysa
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pleasuretoseeyou,too.”SheglancedatSam.“AminuteagoIwouldhavetoldyouKevinwasmyfavoriteuncle,butnowhe’sonprobation.I’mthinkingUncleConnorhastheedge.”Theteasinginteractionwas
arevelationtoSam,whoseownfamilylife,ifitcouldevenbecalledthat,hadalwaysbeenfilledwithtensionandlong,awkward
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silences.Therewasasuddenwhoop
ofgleefromthesunroom.“Videogame?”Kevin
asked.“Always,”Shannasaid
withasigh.“SoundsasifmaybeDaveyactuallywonthisone.”Kevinglancedtoward
Sam.“Youanygoodatthosegames?”“I’veplayedsome,”Sam
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said,thoughfromwhathe’dobservedtonight,hewasn’tnearlyascompetitiveasthemalesinthisfamily.“Wanttogooutthereand
takethemon?”Kevinasked.“Sure,”Samsaidatonce,
eagertogetawayfromthekitchenandtheunwantedattractionthatseemedtobesimmeringbetweenhimandCarrie.“Twentyminutes,”Shanna
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remindedthemsternly.“OnceIgetdinneronthetable,I’mnotcallingyoualltwice.Andmakesurealltheboyswashtheirhands.Anddon’tforgetthebaby,thewayyoudidlastnight.”Sambitbackasmileashe
followedKevintothesunroom.“Youforgotthebaby?”“Hey,she’dfallenasleep,”
Kevinexplainedinhisown
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defense.“Sinceshe’salmostneverquietformorethanaheartbeat,IthinkIshouldbeforgivenfornotrealizingshewasthere.”“Youhavenoideahow
happyIamtohearyousaythat,”Samtoldhim.Kevinregardedhimwitha
puzzledlook.“Why’sthat?”“BecauseI’veonlyhad
responsibilityformynephewforacoupleofweeksand
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I’vespentmostofthattimeterrifiedIwasgoingtodosomethingtotallystupid.AndasifIdidn’thaveenoughdoubtsmyself,Carriehascaughtmetwicedoingthingssheapparentlyconsideredunforgivable.”“Whatthings?”Kevin
asked.“IleftBobbysleepingin
thecarwhileIranintoO’Brienstopickuptakeout.
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EventhoughIkeptmyeyeonhimthewholetime,thatwasn’tgoodenoughforher.AndthenextdayshethoughtIwasn’twatchingcloselyenoughwhilehewasclimbingonthejunglegymattheplayground.”“Whenitcomestokids,
Carrie’sanatural-bornworrier,”Kevinconsoledhim.“Justlikehermom.AndjustlikeAbby,Carriewillbe
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agreatmomsomeday.Wealltrusthertokeepaneyeonourkids,butwealsoknowshe’soverprotective.She’llgetoveritoncesheseesthatnotevenshecanbeeverywhereatonce.Kidsareadventurous.Theydocrazythingsandsometimesthey’retoofastforustocatch’embeforetheyfall.Allwecandoisbealertandminimizetherisks,thenbereadyto
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patchupanybumpsandbruises,dryanytears.”“Voiceofexperience?”
Samasked.“Asadadandasaformer
paramedic,”Kevinconfirmed.“There’sabigdifferencebetweenlettingkidsbekidsandallowingthemtotaketheoccasionalrisk,andbeinganegligentparent.You’llfigureitout,too.”
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Samwasdoubtful.“Ihopeso.Bytheway,Bobbywasaskingifthere’sT-ballintown.”“Sure.Showupatthehigh
schoolfieldonSaturday.We’llgethimonateam.”Inthesunroom,Kevin
muscledHenryawayfromthecontrolsforthevideogame,tooktheotherremotefromDaveyandhandedittoSam.“Letusshowyouhow
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it’sdone,boys.”“Oh,please,”Henry
taunted.“I’vebeenbeatingyousinceIwasakid.”“Me,too,”Daveygloated.
“Dad,you’rereallybad.”Samlaughed.“Then
maybeIhavehalfachance.”“LosertakesonCarrie,”
Henrysaid,hisexpressioninnocent.“You’llneedaconfidenceboost.”SomethingtoldSamhe’d
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betterwinagainstKevin.ThelastthinghewantedwastobehumiliatedforhisineptitudeyetagainbyCarrieWinters.
***
“Areyouconvincednow?”CarrieaskedShannaasKevinandSamleftthekitchen.“Hebarelyevenlookedatme.”Shannawavedoffthe
comment.“Thatmeant
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nothing.Ifanything,itwasmoretellingthanitwouldhavebeenifhe’dfawnedalloveryou.”“Seriously?”Carriesaid,
tryingtofollowherlogic.“Sure.Menactall
indifferentwhenthey’refeelingexactlytheoppositeanddon’twanttogiveanythingaway.”“Itwasjustplain
awkward,”Carriecorrected.
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“Ishouldprobablygosoyouallcanhaveapleasantevening.”“Andlethimthinkhe
chasedyouoff?”Shannaasked.“Ithoughtyouweretougherthanthat.”“You’rethinkingofmy
twin.It’sCaitwho’stough.I’mallsweetandsensitive.”Shannaguffawedatthat.
“Sincewhen?Youdidn’tsurviveinthesharktankof
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fashionbybeinganybody’spushover.”“You’rewrong,”Carrie
said,instantlysomber.“IwasMarc’spushover.”“Wholedifferentstory,
sweetie,”Shannasaid.“It’stimeyouputthatbehindyou.LetSambeyourreboundguy.Practicebeingawholenewyouonhim.”“Nowthere’sacharming
approach,”Carriesaid.“I’m
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sureit’llmakehimfeelallwarmandfuzzyaboutbeingchosentoplaysuchanimportantroleinmylife.”“Youneverknow.He
mightliketheideaofbeingaknightinshiningarmorforalittlewhile.”Carriegaveheran
impatientlook.“Haven’tyoubeenmarriedlongenoughtostopbeingsucharomantic?”“IhopeIwillalwaysbea
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romantic,”Shannaprotested.“It’sagoodwaytobe.Lookatyourgrandmother.DoyouthinksheandMickgotbacktogetherwithoutbothofthembeingromanticsatheart?”“Icertainlyseethesparks,”
Carrieadmitted,“butItrynottothinkaboutexactlyhowtheygotbacktogetherorwhattheydobehindcloseddoors.Infact,I’dbecontenttogotomygravewithout
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havingthatparticularimageengravedonmybrain.”“They’regreatexamples,”
Shannacountered.“SoareNellandDillon.Ourfamilyiscrawlingwithwonderfulrolemodelswhoexemplifytheimportanceofromance.YourmomandTracearenoslouches.”“AnotherimageIprefer
nottodwellon,”Carriesaid.“Thoughtheyareawfully
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cutetogether.And,justtobeclear,I’mnotdenyingtheimportanceofromance.I’mjustsayingI’veneverencounteredit,notinthewayyou’redescribing.”“Andyetyoutellusallthe
timethatwhatyouwantmostinlifeistobeawifeandmom.I’mtellingyouthatrequiresromanceandsappy,messyfeelingsandrisks.”Carriesighed.“Iknow
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you’reright.ButSam?Ithinkthat’salostcause.Hecan’tpossiblyhavetimeforanythingthesedaysbeyonddiscoveringifhehaswhatittakestobeadad.”“Hecouldprobablyuse
somebodytoencouragehimandshowhimtheway,”Shannasuggested.“Somebodywho’sanaturalwithkids.”“You’resuggestingIcoach
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him?”“Somethinglikethat.”“Hehasn’ttakenkindlyto
mostoftheadviceI’veofferedsofar,”Carrietoldher.“Advice?”Shanna
repeated,herbrowlifted.“Orcriticism?”Aguiltyflushcreptup
Carrie’sneck.“Criticism,”sheacknowledged.“Okay,Iseeyourpoint—aboutthat,
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anyway.AsforSamandmeasacouple,Ithinkyou’rewayoffbaseaboutthat.”Shannamerelygavehera
knowingsmile.“Iguesswe’llsee.”
***
Despitethedifferenceintheirages,Bobbyseemedtoflourishunderalltheattentionoftheolderboys.
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Heevenheldhisownwhenitcametoteasingthem.Samwatchedtheinteractionwithamazement,thenutteredasighofrelief.Kevinapparentlyoverheardhim,becausehegavehimapuzzledlook.“Whatwasthatsigh
about?”heaskedSam.“I’msureyou’veheardthe
storyofhowBobbycametobemyresponsibilitybarely
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threeweeksago,”Samsaid,smilingwhenabellylaugheruptedfromBobbyasDaveypinnedhimdownandtickledhimtogetevenforsomething.Kevinglancedover.“Hey,
watchit!Rememberhe’syoungerthanyou.”“Hehasitcoming,”Davey
retorted.“HewassupposedtobeonmysideforthisgameandhehelpedHenryjust
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then.”“Ididn’tmeanto,”Bobby
said,gigglingandscramblingaway.“Honest.Iforgot.Iwasonhissidebefore.”“Yeah,sure,”Daveysaid,
thentickledhimsomemore.KevinturnedtoSam.“You
okay?Davey’sjustteasing,butifyouthinkit’stoomuchroughhousing,Icancallahalttoit.”“Absolutelynot,”Sam
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said.“It’swonderful.ThisisthefirsttimeI’veheardareallaughfromBobbysince,well,sincehelosthismomanddad.Iwasafraidthere’dbeentoomanychangesforhimtohandle.IwasthinkingabouttalkingtoWill,afterCarriementionedhe’sashrink.Ithoughthecouldhelpmefigureoutwhattodotomakethistransitioneasieronhim.”Hegesturedtoward
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thepileoflaughingboys,whichnowincludedHenryandeventhetoddler.“Lookatthem.”Kevinshrugged.“Looks
normaltome.”Samcouldn’tseemtostop
thesmilespreadingacrosshisface.“Iknow.”Kevingavehimaslapon
theback.“I’mnoexpert,butitlookstomeasifyou’redoingjustfine.”
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“Maybeyoucouldmentionthattoyourniece.”Kevingavehimaslylook.
“Doesherapprovalmattertoyou?”Samlaughed.“Nottheway
youmean.Ijustdon’twantherreportingmetochildprotectiveservices.”Justthenhehearda
shockedgaspbehindhimandturnedtoseeCarrie,hercomplexionsuddenlypale.
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“IwouldneverreportyouandriskhavingBobbysentintofostercare,”shesaid.“Notunlessyoudidsomethingtotallyoutrageousordangerous.Howcouldyousaysuchathing?”“Well,itcertainlydoesn’t
seemasifyou’reveryimpressedwithmyparentingskills,”Samsaid,alreadyregrettingacommenthe’dmeantmostlyinjest.
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“Maybeyoutwoshouldworkthisoutonthepatio,”Kevinsuggested,castingapointedlooktowardthesuddenlysilentboyswho’dturnedtoseewhyvoiceswereraised.“I’lltellShannashe’llhavetoholddinnerafewminutes.”“Butit’sreadynow,”
Carrieprotested.“Shesentmetotellyou.Besides,Ihavenothingtosaytohim.”
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Herunclehadthenervetosmileatherpetulanttone.HewasabravermanthanSam.Samcouldfeeltheangerradiatingfromher.“Idisagree,andthis
conversationtakesprecedence,”Kevininsisted.“Go,settlethisandgetbackinbeforedinnergetscoldsomywifedoesn’tlosepatiencewithallofus.”Heturnedtoaddressthe
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kidsashepickedupthebaby.“Handswashedandinthediningroom.Davey,youshowBobbywheretogo.AndmakesureJohnnywashesup,too.”Shouldersstiff,Carrieled
thewaypastSam,openedapairofFrenchdoorsandwalkedontoaflagstonepatio.Keepingherbacktohim,shefoldedherarmsacrossherchest.
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Takingadeepbreath,Samwalkedupbesideher.“Whichoneofusshouldgofirst?Kevindidn’tmentionthat.”“Youstartedit,”she
muttered.Sheglancedhiswayand
gavehimahurtlook.ToSam’sdismaythereweretearsinhereyes.“Whatwouldmakeyou
thinkI’dturnyouintochildprotectiveservices?”she
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asked.“Isn’tthatwhatpeopleare
supposedtodowhentheythinkaparent’sbeingnegligent?”Samresponded.“You’vemadeitprettyclearthatyouthinkI’minept.Ican’tevenarguewithyourperception.I’mfloundering,noquestionaboutit.”Sheflushed,thensighed
heavily.“AndIshouldbecuttingyouawholelotof
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slackunderthecircumstances.It’snotasifIhavetonsofparentalexperiencemyself.”“Butyou’regreatwith
kids,”Samsaid.“EveryoneI’verunacrosssaysso.YouhavenoideahowIenvythat.Ineverexpectedtobeadad.”“Youdidn’twant
children?”shesaid,lookinggenuinelyshocked.“Ineverthoughtmuch
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aboutit.Myparentsweren’tthebestexamples,soIfiguredIshouldavoidfollowingintheirfootsteps.Mysisteralwayssaidshewasn’tcutoutformotherhoodforthesamereason,butthenLaurelmetRobertandhewassolidandsteadyandcompletelyunflappable—perfectdadmaterial.Heconvincedhertheycouldbegreatparents,
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andtogether,theyreallywere.Bobby’sagreatkid,andIknowit’sbecausetheyknewwhattheyweredoing,unlikeme.”“Youcanbeagreatdad,
too,”Carriesaidwithfeeling.“I’msosorryifthethingsIsaidmadeyoufeelinadequate,orshouldIsaymoreinadequatethanyouwerealreadyfeeling.Itendtoopenmymouthwithout
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thinking,especiallywhenachildisinvolved.”“That’smypoint,”Sam
said.“YoucouldtellrightawaythatBobbywasinthehandsofsomeonewhodidn’tknowwhattheyweredoing.Andyoucaredenoughtosaysomething.”“Butyoudidknowmore
thanIgaveyoucreditfor,”shecorrected.“Whenyoulefthiminthecar,instincttold
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youtokeepaneyeonhim.Ijustjumpedtoconclusions.Samewiththejunglegym.Youknewitwassomethinghelovedandlethimgoforit,ratherthanhoveringtoocloseandmakinghimscaredtotrysomething.Ithinkreallygoodparentshavetofindabalancebetweenlettingkidsgrowandbeingoverlyprotective.”Shemethisgaze.“I’m
sorry,Sam.Itrulyam.How
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aboutthis?NexttimeIthinkyou’rehandlingsomethingwrong,I’llmentionit,butIwon’tgetalljudgmentalandcrazyonyou.”Helaughed.“Doyoureally
thinkyoucanpullthatoff?”Shewinced.“Icanatleast
try.”“Well,don’ttrytoohard.
Despitenotenjoyingbeingthetargetofyourindignation,Ilikethatyouwereprotective
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ofalittleboyyoudidn’tevenknow.Iadmireyouforcaringthatmuch.AndjusttoreassureyouaboutBobby,Imaybeinexperiencedandthesituationmaybetotallyunexpected,butI’mgoingtobethebeststand-inforhisdadthatIcanpossiblybe.”“Ibelievethat,”shesaid,
thenstudiedhim.“So,we’regood?”Henodded.“We’regood.”
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“Okay,then.IseeShannaatthekitchenwindowstaringatus.I’mnotsureifshe’sjustcurioustoseeifwe’rekillingeachotherortickedoffaboutdinnergettingruined.”“Let’sgoinside,soshecan
checkforinjuries,”Samsuggested.“And,totellthetruth,I’vebeenlookingforwardtoahome-cookedmealeversincesheinvited
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Bobbyandmeover.I’dhateforittobespoiled.”Carriefellintostepbeside
himastheywentbackin.“Don’tyoucook?”“I’masingleguy.Igrill
andIorderpizza.Iamalsoamasterofcoldcereal.”“Oh,dear,”shesaid,
regardinghimwithalarm.“Iknow,”hesaid,holding
upahandbeforeshecouldsaymore.“AssoonasBobby
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andIhaveourownplace,Iwillmakesurehehashealthymeals,evenifIhavetorelyonsomebodyelsetocookthem.I’llgetShannatorecommendafoolproofcookbook.”Shegrinned.“Anexcellent
plan.Andknowingthesinglewomeninthistown,Iimagineyoucancountoncasserolesanddessertsturninguponaregular
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basis.”“Willyoubeoneofthose
women?”“Youneverknow,”she
saidlightly.“Ofcourse,ifIam,I’llmakesureNelldoesthecooking.OrmaybeLuke’schef.Myskillinthekitchenisonlymarginallybetterthanyouclaimyoursis.”Herexpressionbrightened.“Orhowaboutthis?Wecouldbothtake
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lessonsfromNell.She’dloveit,andyouandBobbydefinitelywouldn’tstarve.”Samwasstartledbythe
suggestion.“Whatdoyougetoutofit?”“Ibecomeoneofthefew
O’Brienswhoactuallyknowsherwayaroundthekitchen.Nell’salwaysbeensogoodatcooking,wecountonherforallthebigfamilyoccasions.Iwouldn’tmindhaving
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braggingrightsasaworthysuccessorsomedaydowntheroad.UptillnowKevin’shadthem,buthedoesn’texercisethemenoughtocountanymore.”Samlaughed.“Ah,Ifinally
seeachinkinyourarmorofperfection.Signmeup,ifNell’swilling.”Herfacelitup.“Seriously?
You’lldoit?”Heshrugged.“Whynot?
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BobbyandIhavetoeat.”Andperhapsitwouldgive
himachancetoseeCarrieinasettinginwhichshewasn’tquitesosureofherself.Helikedknowingshedidn’texcelateverything.Andevenwitheverythingalreadyonhisplateandhisdeterminationtoremainimmunetotheattraction,hehadtoadmitthatdiscoveringmoreaboutCarrieWinters
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wasanintriguingprospect.
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7
Shewascrazy,CarriethoughtasshewalkedtoNell’scottagethemorningafterdinneratShannaandKevin’s.WhywouldshethrowherselfintothepathofdangerbyspendingevenmoretimearoundSamand
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Bobby?JustasCaitlynhadsuggestedduringherlastcall,CarrierecognizedthatshewasvulnerablerightnowandSam—aflounderingsingledad—wasexactlythesortofmanshewaslikelytofallforwhenshewasinsuchavulnerablestate.ShecouldtellherselffromnowtilldoomsdaythatshewasonlyinterestedinBobby’swell-being,butthelittlesizzlethat
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ranthroughherwhenshewasincloseproximitytoSamsaidotherwise.Sizzles,assheknewalltoowell,couldturnintodangerousfires.Whenshetappedonher
great-grandmother’sfrontdoor,itwasDillonwhoanswered.“Well,ifitisn’tthe
prettiestgreat-granddaughterintheworld,”hesaidwiththatwonderfulIrishliltinhis
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voice.“YoudoknowthatCaitlyn
andIlookexactlyalike,”sheresponded.Feignedsurprisespread
acrosshisface.“Doyou,now?Therearetwoofyou?”Carrielaughedandkissed
hischeek.“Youknowthereare.Where’sGram?She’snotstillasleep,isshe?”Helookedappalledbythe
verythought.“Thislateinthe
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day?Notachance.She’sonherkneesinthegarden,despitemetellinghershehasnobusinessdoingalltheweedingherself.SinceIcan’tmakeherseereason,seeifyoucan’tlureherinsideforacupofteaandagoodlongchat.”“It’ssuchalovelyday,
maybeI’llmaketheteaandtakeitoutside,instead,”Carriesuggested.“She’s
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muchmorelikelytotakeabreakifshecanenjoyherpreciousgardenatthesametime.”Dillonnoddedapprovingly.
“Andthat’swhyyou’rethesmartestgreat-granddaughter,aswellastheprettiest.”Carrielaughed.“I’mso
gladyoubroughtthatblarneywithyoufromDublin,rightalongwithyourloveforGram.”
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“Nochoiceinthematter,mydarlinggirl.Nochoiceatall.Therewerefartoomanyyearswhenwewereapart.Iintendtospendwhatevertimewehaveleftonthisearthsidebyside,whereverthatmaybe.ChesapeakeShoresandherfamilyaretoomuchapartofmyNelltoaskhertocometoIrelandtobewithme.AndI’mblessedtohavemyowngranddaughterMoira
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herenow,too,withLuke.”“Funnyhowthingswork
out,isn’tit?”Carriesaid,asshepouredboilingwaterovertheIrishBreakfasttealeaveshergrandmotherpreferred.Bringingateabagintothishousewouldbeconsideredpracticallysacrilegious.Teawastobemadetheold-fashionedway,ornotatall.“Therearealwayssurprisingtwistsandturns.”
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“Lifeamazesmeeveryday,tobesure,”Dillonagreed.“That’showIknowI’mliving.”“Doyouneedhelp
carryingthatoutside?”heaskedassheputtwoofNell’sprettiestcups,theantiquechinateapotwithitscrackledfinish,amatchingsugarbowlandafewslicesoflemononatray.“Ihaveit,butthanks,”she
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said.“Enjoyyourvisit.”He
reachedforsomewetwipesandatowel.“Takethesealong.Nellneverwearsgardeningglovesthewayshe’spromisedto.She’llwanttocleanupbeforetouchingthosepreciouscupsofhers.”Carriesmiledassheleft
thekitchenofthecozylittlecottageoverlookingthebay.
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Dillontrulywasatreasure,andhislong-heldloveforNellhadbeenawonderfuldiscoveryonthefamily’striptoIrelandseveralyearsago.Reunitedafteryearsapart,theysetanexampleforthewholefamilyofhowlovecouldendure,despitenearlyalifetimewithotherpeople.Carriesettheteatrayona
tablebesidetwoAdirondackchairsfacingthebay,then
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crossedthelawntowardthegardens.Shefoundhergreat-grandmotherwithherroses,humminganIrishtunethatsoundedfamiliar,thoughCarriecouldn’tcomeupwiththewords.“Doesmusicmakethe
rosesbloombetter?”sheteased.Nelllookedup,startled,
thenlaughed.“Notmine,Isuspect.Butitmakesme
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happy.Whatbringsyoubyonthislovelysummermorning?”“Iwashopingforacupof
teaandachatwithmyfavoriteperson.”Shenoddedinthedirectionofthechairs.“I’vemadeitjustthewayyoulikeit.Canyoutakeabreak?”Nellfrowned.“DidDillon
putyouuptothis?He’sbeenpesteringmeallmorning
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aboutthedampnessmakingthearthritisinmykneesworse.”“Heworriesaboutyou.”“Oh,Iknowthat,andI
lovehimforit,butI’vebeengardeningforenoughyearstoknowthatthepleasureoutweighsafewachesandpains.Butacupofteaandachancetocatchupwithyouwouldbewelcome.”Asshestruggledtogetto
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herfeet,Carrieheldoutahand,butasshe’dexpected,Nellignoreditandmadeitonherown.Carriehandedherthewipesandtowel.“Iimaginethesewere
Dillon’sdoing,too,”shegrumbled,thoughherblueeyessparkledwithaffection.“Hesaysyouforgetto
wearyourgardeninggloves.”“Idon’tforgetathing.Half
thejoyisgettingalittle
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dirty.”Carrieputanarmaround
Nell’swaist.“Orneryoldthing.”“Iamthat,”Nellsaidwith
prideastheywalkedacrossthelawn.“HowdoyouthinkI’velivedsolong?”Whentheywereseatedand
theteahadbeenpoured,sheturnedaseriousgazeonCarrie.“What’sonyourmind?Youaren’tletting
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Mickpressureyouaboutwhatyou’regoingtodonext,areyou?”“Hehasapoint,”Carrie
conceded.“Ishouldmakeadecisionofsomekind.”“Well,myadviceistotake
yourtime.There’snorush.Therightanswerwillcometoyou.”“IwishIbelievedthat,”
Carriesaidwithasigh,thenshruggedoffthewayher
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indecisionweighedonher.“That’snotwhyI’mhere,though.Iwaswonderingifyou’dhavealittletimetoteachmetocook.Me,andafriend,thatis.”Nell’seyessparkledwith
delight.“I’dlovethat,”shesaidenthusiastically.Herexpressionturnedcurious.“Tellmeaboutthisfriend.Itmustbeaman,sinceIcan’timagineyouwantingtospend
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timeinthekitchenifitweren’t.”“MaybeIjustthinkit’s
timesomeonelearnsallyourrecipes,”Carrieresponded.“Luke’schefknowsagood
manyofthem.”“He’snotfamily.”“AndyouruncleKevinhas
pickedupafew.”“Iwanttoknowthemall.”“Andthisfriend,what’shis
motivation?”
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CarrieexplainedaboutSamandBobby.“Oh,thepoorlittlething,”
Nellsaidatonce.“Hehasaweaknessfor
chocolate-chipcookies,”Carriereported.“Igavehimacoupleofyoursatthepubtheothernight.Igathertheywereahit.”“Well,hecan’tverywell
liveoncookiesandpizzaandwhateverSamcantakeoutof
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thefreezerorpickupintown,”Nellsaidbriskly,herexpressionthoughtful.“IfSamisworkingforMackandtryingtomanageachildforthefirsttime,Iimaginehedoesn’thavealotoftime.Youfindoutwhenhehasacoupleofhourstospare,letmeknowandbringbothofthemby.Promisethemtherewillbeagoodmealattheendofthelesson.”
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“Thanks,Gram.”“Now,tellmewhatthis
youngmanislike.Ishehandsome?”Carrieblushed.“I
suppose.”Nellleveledadirectlookat
herthathadhersquirming.“Isithimyou’redrawntoortheboy?”“Maybeboth,”she
admitted.“Oh,mydarlinggirl,be
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careful.”“Iwillbe,Gram.Nobody
knowsbetterthanIdothatIshouldn’tevenbethinkingaboutarelationshiprightnow.Ihaveenoughdecisionstomake.”“That’snotatallwhatI’m
saying.Lovecomesalongonitsowntimetable.Ijustwantyoutobesurethatyou’respendingtimewiththismanfortherightreasons.There’s
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alittleboywho’sbeenthroughtoomuchtobeconsidered.Whentwoadultstryandfail,it’sonething,butyoudon’twanttomakeamistakethatcouldhurtachildwho’salreadysufferedaterribleloss.”“It’snotasifSamandIare
dating,”Carrieprotested.“Wecanbarelycallwhatever’sgoingonafriendship.Ijustwantto
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help.”“Andthat’salovely
gesture.Justthinkcarefullybeforeitgoesanyfurther.”“Believeme,Iwill,”Carrie
promised.“Nowletmetaketheteathingsbackinside.Areyoucoming?”“Istillhavemyrosesto
tendto,”Nellsaid.“YoucanreassureDillonthatI’mnotoverdoingitandthatifhe’sallthatworried,hecanget
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outhereandpullafewweedshimself.Iwon’teventellhimhe’sdoingitallwrong.”Carrielaughed.“I’llpass
thatalong.”ShehuggedNell.“Iloveyou.I’llbeintouchaboutthecooking.”“I’llbelookingforwardto
thelessonsandtomeetingyouryoungman.”“He’snotmyyoungman,”
Carrieremindedher,probablytonoavail.Noone
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inthisfamilylistenedtosuchdenialsunlessitsuitedtheirpurposes.Romantics,thewholedarnlotofthem!
***
DeterminednottodwellonNell’sspeculationaboutherrelationshipwithSam,Carriedecidedshe’dwaitbeforecallinghim.Shedidn’twanttoseemoverlyeager.And
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sinceshedidn’thaveJacksontoday,maybeshecouldgoshoppingforafewthingsthatdidn’tpracticallyscreamdesignerwhensheputthemon.Shedidn’twanttothinkaboutwhyshefeltthatwasnecessary.NotscaringSamoffshouldnotbeaconsideration.Shewasonherwayback
fromthenearestmallwayoutonthemainnorth-south
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highway,whenshespottedaday-carecenteronalargefenced-inpatchoflawnwithacolorfulswingsetinthebackyard.WithLuke’ssuggestionaboutapossiblecareerstillverymuchonhermind,shemadeaU-turnandwentback,mostlyoutofcuriosity.Alookaroundwouldn’thurtanything,andmaybeitwouldeveninspireher.
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Inside,shecouldhearshoutsofgleefullaughtercomingfromtheback.Thatsoundmadehersmile.Thegirlatthereception
desk,wholookedtobebarelyoutofherteens,hungupthephoneandgrinnedatCarrie.“It’ssnacktime.Italwaysgetsnoisierthen.CanIhelpyou?”“IwaswonderingifIcould
speaktotheowneror
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managerforafewminutes,”Carriesaid.“About?Ifyouhavea
childyou’dliketoenroll,we’renottakinganynewclientsrightnow.”“No,it’snotthat.Actually,
it’salongstory,buttheshortversionisthatI’mthinkingofopeningadaycareoverinChesapeakeShores.”Shesmiledreassuringly.“Nocompetitionforthisone.I
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couldusesomeadviceandI’dliketolookaroundifsheorhedoesn’tmind.”“Holdon.Letmecheck,”
thegirlsaid.“I’mLucy,bytheway.LucyMorris.”“AndI’mCarrieWinters.
Doyouworkherefull-time?”“Prettymuch,butI’malso
studyingearlychildhoodeducation.MymomopenedthisdaycarewhenIwasababy,soI’veprettymuch
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grownuparoundtheplace.I’vebeenworkinghereeversincehighschool.”“Youmustloveitsince
youchoseearlychildhoodeducationasacareer.”“It’sthebestjobever,”she
saidcheerfully,thenmadeaface.“Exceptonthedaysitisn’t.”“Whichdaysarethose?”“Whenonekidiscranky
andthemoodseemstobe
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contagious.Orwhenmomcavesinandbringscookiesforsnacktime.Twentykidsonasugarhigh?”Sheshuddered.“Notpretty.”Carriechuckled.“Iknow
whatyoumean.I’vehadahousefulofkidsatmyhouselikethatatimeortwo.ThedayafterHalloweencanbeparticularlydicey.”“Tellmeaboutit.”Lucy
heldupafingertoindicate
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hermotherhadfinallypickedupthephone.“Mom,there’sawomannamedCarrieWintersherewho’dliketotalktoyouaboutrunningadaycare.Canyoutakeaminute?I’llcomebackandtakeover,ifyouwanttocomeoutherewhereit’squiet.”Shenodded.“Surething.I’lltellher.”Whenshe’dhungup,she
stood.“Shetoldmetobring
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youbacksoyoucangetafirsthandlookatthecraziness.She’llspendalittletimewithyouafterthat.”“Perfect.Thankyouso
much.”Lucygrinnedather.“I
predictyou’lleitherfallinloveinthefirstfiveminutesorrunforyourlife.Eitherway,you’llhavesomeinklingifthisisrightforyou.”
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“Isurehopeso,”Carriesaid,followingherthroughasetofdoubledoorsthatledintoalargeplayarea.Aquickglancearoundhad
hersmiling.ThecolorswerebrightandcheerfulfromapaletteverysimilartotheoneusedinNoah’soffices.Tinytablesandchairswerescatteredaroundtheroom,alongwithboxesstuffedwithtoys.Therewasachalkboard
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inanareawhereafewyoungchildrenwereapparentlyengrossedinlessonsthatwouldgivethemaheadstartfortheupcomingschoolyear.Somewerereading,butothersseemedtobegettingtutoringfromaboywholookedtobehighschoolage.Everyonewasfinishingupasnackofcheese,crackersandcarrotsticks,alongwithbottledwater.
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Awomanwhoappearedtobeinherearlyfortiesdisentangledherselffromthreepreschoolerswhowerebeggingforanotherstory.“SitquietlyandLucywillreadtoyou,”shepromised.“Gopickoutonebookeach.”Thechildrenscampered
awayandthewomancameover.“I’mJulieMorris,”shesaid.Shenoddedtowardtheyoungerchildren.“Lucy,
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you’lltakeover?”“I’monit,”Lucysaid.
“Nicetomeetyou,Ms.Winters,”shecalledoverhershoulderassherushedafterthekids.“Iknowitprobablyseems
chaotic,butit’sanorganizedchaos,”Julietoldher.“Lucysaidyou’reinterestedinopeningadaycare.”“I’mexploringthe
possibility,”Carriesaid.“I
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hadanothercareer,butitturnedouttobeabadfit.SomeonesuggestedthatChesapeakeShorescoulduseagoodday-carecenter.”“So,outoftheblue,you
wanttosnapyourfingersanddoit?”Julieasked,herexpressionskeptical.Carriewinced.Itdidsound
crazywhenherplanwasdescribedthatway.“It’snotquiteasimpulsiveasit
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sounds.EversinceIgotbacktotown,I’vebeencaringformynephewasafavortohismomanddad.Otherkidsinmyfamilyareinandoutofthehouseallthetime.IlovehavingthemunderfootandeveryonesaysI’mverygoodwiththem.”“Runningadaycareisa
lotmoredifficultthanbabysitting,”Juliecautioned.“Iknowthat.Ididtakea
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fewearlychildhoodeducationcoursesincollegeaselectives,butIunderstandthat’sjustthetipoftheiceberg.That’soneofthereasonsIstoppedbywhenIspottedyourcenterasIwasdrivinghomejustnow.Irealizethere’salotIneedtolearnandIdon’twanttodothisbyhalfmeasuresifI’mgoingtodoit.Ifyouknewmyfamily,you’dknowwe
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mightmakeimpulsivedecisions,butwedoourhomeworkandwedothingsright.Andtohearmygrandfathertellit,failure’snotanoption.”Juliestudiedherintently,
thenseemedtoreachadecision.“Look,Icansitdownwithyouandgooverregulations,yourbusinessplanandalltheotherthingsittakestobesuccessfulinthis
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business.Icanevenadviseyouonsomecoursesifyouwanttofillintheeducationalblanks.”“Thatwouldbeincredibly
generousofyou,”Carriesaidenthusiastically.“I’dbehappytopayyouforyourtime.”Juliesmiled.“Nota
chance,becauseI’mnotgoingtostartadvisingyou,atleastnotrightaway.You
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thinkyouwanttodothis,thenyousignupforthosecoursesonline,thencomehereacoupleofdaysaweekasavolunteer.You’llknowsoonenoughifyou’reanygoodatit.WhenIseeifyou’reserious,thenI’llteachyoueverythingyouneedtoknow.I’vebeenrunningthiscentersinceLucywasababyandI’vegotanexcellentreputation.IfI’mgoingtobe
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yourmentor,thenI’mgoingtobethorough.”Carriewasmomentarily
takenaback,butthenshechuckled.“Done,”shesaid,holdingoutherhand.“We’lldoityourway.Ihavethebabyacoupleofdaysaweek,butIcanworkherearoundthat.”“Oryoucanbringthebaby
withyou,”Juliesaid.“Iwon’tevenchargeyouforit,since
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you’regoingtobepitchinginasvolunteerstaff.I’veworkedthatdealwithacoupleofmomswhoneedchildcarewhiletheyhuntforwork.”“Somethingtellsme
spottingthisplacewastheluckiestthingtohappentomeinalongtime,”Carriesaidsincerely.ShelikedthatJuliewasn’t
goingtohandoverabunchof
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factsandfiguresordoleoutadvicewithoutbeingsurethatCarriewasuptothejob.ShewasobviouslyawomanwhotookherresponsibilitytothechildreninhercareseriouslyandintendedtodowhatevershecouldforthosewhomightbeinCarrie’scaredowntheroad.ForthefirsttimeCarriewasstartingtoviewthewholeday-careideaasaserious,viableoptionfor
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herfuture.“Mondaymorning,”Julie
toldher.“Igetherebyfive-thirty.Acoupleofparentsworkveryearlyshiftsanddropofftheirkidsonthewaytowork.Six-thirtywillbeearlyenoughforyou.”“I’llbehere,”Carrie
promised,managingtohideherstartledreactiontotheearlyhour.She’dgrownusedtolatenightsandlaid-back
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mornings,acarryoverfromherlifestylewhenshe’dworkedwithMarc.Julienoddedapprovingly.
“Iexpectedyoutoreactdifferentlytotheearlyhour.”“I’lladmitthatI’venever
beenmuchofamorningperson,”Carrieconceded.“ButIamareliableone.I’llbehere.”“Keepsurprisingmeand
we’llgetalongjustfine.Now
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I’dbettergetoverthereandseehowLucy’sholdingup.Thekidsadoreher,buttheytendtotrytotakeadvantageofher.She’sstillworkingonbeingadisciplinarianwhensheneedstobe.”ShegaveCarriea
distractedwaveasshehurriedoff.Carriestoodwhereshewas
foramomentlonger,soakingupthehigh-pitchedlaughter,
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thesightofkidsbouncingintheirseatswithexcitementastheiryoungtutormadewhateverlessontheywerehavingfun.Theatmosphereintheroomwrappeditselfaroundherandwarmedherheartinawaynothinghadinaverylongtime.ApparentlyLukehadbeen
ontosomethingwhenhe’dpointedherinthisdirection.Shesupposedshe’dfindout
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forsureoverthenextfewweeksormonthsorhoweverlongittookforJulietodecideifCarriehadpassedherpersonaltest.Carriealreadyhadapretty
goodideathatthistimeshe’dfoundaperfectfit.
***
WhenshefinallygotbacktoChesapeakeShores,Carrie
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foundhergrandfatherpacingupanddownthefrontwalk,acellphoneuptohisear.Whenhesawher,hedisconnectedandshovedthephoneinhispocket.“It’sabouttimeyougot
home.Whyweren’tyouansweringyourphone?”“Thebatterydied,”Carrie
replied,thinkinghowconvenientthatwas,giventheexpressiononher
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grandfather’sface.Shekissedhischeek.“What’sup?”“That’swhatIwantto
know,”hegrumbled.“You’vebeenavoidingme.”“I’vebeenbusy.”“Doingwhat?”Sheheldupherpackages.
“Shopping,foronething.”“Youcouldn’tpossibly
needmoreclothes.Ihelpedhaulallyourthingsoverhere,incaseyou’veforgotten.”
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“TheywerealittletoofancyforeverydayinChesapeakeShores,”shesaid.“Iboughtafewmorepracticalthings.”Hisgazenarrowed.“So,
you’renotthinkingoftakingoffagainrightaway?”“Nope,”shesaid,setting
allthebagsdowninachair,thenheadingforthekitchen.“Icouldusesomeicedtea.Howaboutyou?”
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“Tea’sfine,”hesaid.“Answerswouldbebetter.”“Ihaven’theardany
questionsyet.”Herbacktohim,shepulledapitcherofteafromtherefrigerator,retrievedtwoglassesfromacabinet,addedice,thenpouredthetea,takinghertimeaboutitbeforefacinghimagain.Hescowledather.“Don’t
besmartwithme,young
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lady.”Shesmiled.“Askwhatever
youlike,GrandpaMick,butontheadviceofcounsel,Ireservetherightnottoanswer.”Thescowldeepened.
“Whatcounsel?Whatthedevilareyoutalkingabout?”Carrielaughed.“Grandma
MegantoldmeIdon’thavetoletyoupryintomylifeunlessIwantto.”
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“Myownwifetoldyouthat?”hedemandedincredulously.“Shealsosaidshewas
goingtogetyoutostopbuggingme.”Shesigheddramatically.“Iguessthatdidn’tworkoutsowell.”Hescrubbedahandacross
hisfaceandlookedasifhewereclingingtohislastthreadofpatience.“Iswearthatwomanisgoingtobethe
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deathofme.”Carriegavehiman
impulsivehug.“Butyouloveherlikecrazy.”“ThatIdo.”Helookedinto
hereyes.“AndIloveyou,too.Iwantyoutobehappy.Thatmeansgettingonwithyourlife.Idon’tseeyoudoingthat,thoughifyou’vemadeadecisiontostayhere,Isupposethat’sastart.”“I’mworkingontherest,”
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Carrieassuredhim.“Honest,GrandpaMick.I’mseeingthingsmoreclearlythanIhaveinalongtime.”Hisexpressionbrightened.
“Tellme.”“Notjustyet.Iwanttosee
howthingsgofirst.”“NotevenatinyhintsoI
don’tworry?”“Notevenatinyhint,butI
promiseyoucanstopworrying.Theskieshave
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clearedandtheoutlookaroundhereisimprovingbytheminute.”“Whateverthatmeans,”he
grumbledagain.“Itmeansyoucangomeet
GrandmaMeganatthegallery,takeheroutforanicedinnerandtalkaboutsomethingotherthanmeandmyproblemsforachange.I’msureshe’llappreciatethat.”
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Heshookhishead,butsmiledatlast.“I’msureshewill.Okay,then.I’llstoppesteringyou.”Hegaveherameaningfullook.“Fornow,”heamended.“ButifIdon’tlikewhatI’mseeing,Ireservetherighttospeakup.”“Iwouldn’thaveitany
otherway,”shetoldhimassheledthewaytothedoor.“Loveyou.”“Loveyou,too,though
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howyouturnedouttobesuchastubbornoneisbeyondme.”“Lotsofexamples,”she
remindedhim.“Andyou’rethebestoneofall.”Assheclosedthedoor
behindhim,sheleanedagainstitforamoment,thenrealizedshewassmiling.Forthefirsttimeinwhatfeltlikeforever,shehadn’tbeenfibbingtohim.Sheheaded
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forhercomputertolookforsomeoftheclassesJuliehadsuggestedshecouldfindonline.Smilingasshesignedupfortwoofthem,shefinallyfeltasifshewasstartingtohavesomecontroloverherlifeagain.
***
Samhadbroughthomepizzaforthesecondnightinarow,
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mostlybecauseitwaswhatBobbyhadinsistedhewantedandbecauseSamcouldn’tcomeupwithasensiblealternative.“Wecan’tgoonlikethis,”
hemutteredmostlytohimself.“Whynot?”Bobbyasked,
devouringhissecondslice.Atleastitwasaveggie
pizzatonight,Samthought,aconcessiontoahealthier
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lifestyle.“Becauseyouneedreal
food.”“Pizzaisrealfood,”Bobby
said,lookingconfused.“Thisoneevenhasyuckyvegetablesonit.”Samnotedthepileofsaid
vegetablesthatBobbyhadpickedoffandleftonhisplate.“Theydon’tcountunlessyouactuallyeatthem.”“Idon’tlikethem,”Bobby
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saidreasonably.“IfIatethem,I’dprobablygetsick.”“Youwouldn’tgetsick,I
promise.”Athoughtstruckhim.“Didyourmomeverletyouhavepizzaeverynightoftheweek?”Bobbyhesitated,clearly
debatingbetweenthetruthandananswerthatwouldkeepthepizzacoming.“No,”heconcededfinally.“ItwasforSaturdaynight.”His
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expressionbrightened.“Andtomorrow’sSaturday,sowecanhaveitagain!”Samshookhishead.“I
don’tthinkso,pal.”Hegrabbedhiscellphone,
checkedforCarrie’sphonenumber,whichhe’dprogrammedin,andcalledbeforehecouldthinkaboutthewisdomofit.“Well,hi,”shesaid.
“Everythingokay?”
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“Yousaidsomethingaboutcookinglessons,”heremindedher.“I’monoursecondnightinarowofpizzawithathirdoneinstoreunlessyoucansaveus.”Shelaughed.“Ispoketo
Gramthismorningandshe’seagertostartwheneverwe’reready.Iwasgoingtocallyoutocheckyourschedule,butIhadabusydaytoday.”“Wouldtomorrowbetoo
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soon?Ineedtobreakthispizzahabitasquicklyaspossible.”“Areyougoodwith
anytimetomorrow?”“I’mtakingBobbyto
checkintoT-ballfirstthinginthemorning,butweshouldbefreebyeleven.AnytimeafterthatifitworksforNell,”hetoldher.“Andyou.”“LetmecheckandI’llget
rightbacktoyou.”
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“Youhavemynumber?”“OncallerID,”she
responded.“I’llcallyouinacoupleofminutes.”“Thanks.”“WasthatCarrie?”Bobby
askedwhenSamsethisphonewithinreachonthetable.“Itwas.She’sgoingtoset
upsomecookingclassesforuswithhergreat-grandmother.”
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Bobbyimmediatelylookedworried.“Somethingwrong?”Sam
asked.“DoIgettocome,too?”Overthepastfewdays,
SamhadnoticedthatBobbyrarelylethimoutofhissight.Itwasunderstandable,butitprobablyneededtochangeorthefirstdayofschoolwasgoingtobeaproblem.Still,hecouldn’tverywellbreak
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thehabituntilhehadgoodalternatives.HeconsideredcallingShannaorevenKevintoseeifthey’dtakeBobbytoT-ballinthemorning,butonelookatthefearinBobby’seyestoldhimhecouldn’tdoit.“Sureyoucancome.”WhenCarriecalledback,
hewalkedoutontothebalconyoftheirroomattheinnandfinalizedtheplans.
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“IsitokayifBobbycomesalong?”heasked,explainingBobby’sreactiontotheprospectofbeingseparatedfromSamevenforalittlewhile.“Gram’scountingonit,”
Carrieassuredhim.“And,bytheway,goodjobpickinguponhisfear.”“Pickinguponitisone
thing,”Samsaid.“Butnoteverysituationwillbe
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resolvedaseasilyasthisone.Ihavetogobacktoworknextweek.Schoolstartsnotlongafterthat.”“You’llfigureitout,”
Carrieassuredhim.WhenSamremainedsilent,
shesaid,“Didyouhearme?”“Idid.Ijustcouldn’tquite
believewhatIwashearing.”“Ilearnedmylesson,”she
toldhim.“Positivereinforcementfromhereon
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out.Doesithelp?”“Surprisingly,itdoes,”
Samsaid.“Seeyoutomorrow.”“Lookingforwardtoit.
Wantmetopickyouup,soIcanshowyouthewaytothecottage?”“Sure,”Samsaid,though
healreadyhadaprettygoodideawhereitwas.Anythingtospendalittlemoretimearoundthepositiveenergy
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shewassuddenlyexuding.Itwaspitifulhowbadlyheneededthatrightnow.
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8
WhenMackcouldn’tfindSusieathome,hedroveintotownandheadedfortherealestateoffice.Susierarelystayedlate,butforthepastcoupleofdaysshe’dbeenthereuntileightorlater.Whenhe’dasked,she’dtold
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himthatpaperworkhadpiledupbecauseofthedaysshe’dstayedhome.Hehadn’tboughtherexcuse,andwhenhe’drunintoherdadearlier,Jeffhadconfirmedthattherewasnobacklogofpaperwork.“Anyideawhat’sgoing
on?”Jeffhadaskedhim.“Iknowhavingtheadoptionfallthroughwasablow,butshe’sbouncedbackalotmorequicklythanI’danticipated.
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Andsinceshecamebacktotheoffice,she’sbeenworkingharderthanever.”“Inoticedthesamething,”
Mackhadsaid,noteventryingtohidehisconcern.“WantmetohaveJotalk
toher?”Jeffhadasked.Susieandhermomwere
close,butMackwantedtogettothebottomofthishimself.“I’llhandleit,butthanks.IfIthinkJoneedstoget
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involved,I’llask.”Jeffhadslappedhimonthe
back.“Iknowyoulovemygirl,Mack,butsodowe.Ifyouneedhelp,allyouhavetodoisask.UnlikemybrotherMick,Idon’tmeddle.NeitherdoesJo,butwe’reonlyaphonecallawayifyouthinksomething’snotright.JustbecauseSusie’sagrownwomanandmarried,doesn’tmeanshe’snotstillour
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child.”“Trustme,Iknowexactly
howstrongthebondis,”Macksaid,meaningitandgratefulforit,too.“YoutwowereeverybitasimportanttohercancerrecoveryasIwas.Sheneededusall.Shemayagain.”InMack’sopinion,
somethingdefinitelywasn’tright.Aftertwodaysofstaringatthebayand
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showingnointerestinanything,SusiehaddemonstratedasuddensurgeofenergyrightaftermeetingSam’snephew,Bobby,onWednesday.TherewaslittledoubtinMack’smindthatthetwothingswereconnected.Afterparkingonaside
streetwhenhecouldn’tfindaspotalongMainoronShoreRoad,heheadedfortherealestateoffice.Ashe’d
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expected,thelightswereburningbrightlydespitethelatenessofthehour.HecouldseeSusieatherdeskstaringatthephone.Takingadeepbreathandprayingforguidance,hewentinside,asmileplasteredonhisface.“Hereyouare,”hesaid
cheerfully,droppingakissonherforehead.“Ithoughtyou’dbehomebynow.Fridaynight’salwaysbeen
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ourdatenight.”Sheflushedguiltily.“I
forgotallaboutitbeingFriday.Igotcaughtupinsomethinghere,”shesaid.“What?”heinquired
mildly.Shefrownedatthe
question.“Whythedoubtinyourvoice?YouknowIworklatesometimes.”“Ofcourseyoudo.Iwas
justcuriousaboutwhathad
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keptyoutonight.Isthereabigdealpending?”“Somethinglikethat,”she
said,notmeetinghisgaze.Mackconcludedthat
dancingaroundthesubjectwasn’tgoingtogetanswers.Hesatinthechairbesideherdesk.“Suze,what’sgoingon?”“ItoldyouI’mworking.”“Itlookedtomeasifyou
mightbewaitingforthe
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phonetoring.”Suddenlytheanswercametohim,thoughhedidn’tlikeit.“AreyouwaitingforSamtocallabouttakingalookatthathouse?”“Hesaidhewould,”she
replieddefensively.“GettingBobbysettledisimportant,sowhyhasn’thedoneit?”Sheregardedhimwithalarm.“Nothing’shappenedtoBobby,hasit?”“Bobby’sjustfineasfaras
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Iknow.TheyhaddinnerwithKevinandShannaandthekidslastnight.WhenIspoketoSamearlierthisevening,hementionedthathe’ssigningBobbyupforT-ballinthemorning,thenNell’sgivinghimacookinglesson.”Forthefirsttimesincehe’d
arrived,therewasasparkofinterestinSusie’seyes.“How’dthathappen?”“IgatherSamthrew
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himselfonCarrie’smercyandshesetitup.She’stakinglessonsfromNell,too.”“Ofcoursesheis,”Susie
said,asurprisingedgetohervoice.Mackknewthere’donce
beenafamilyrivalrybetweenSusieandJess,butthiswassomethingnew.“Hey,whytheattitude?”“He’ssingle.Hehasakid.
OfcourseCarriewouldlatch
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ontohim,thesamewayshemadeherselfavailabletoNoahwhenhefirstgottotown.”Mackregardedherwith
shock.Inalltheyearshe’dknownherandthroughsomeverytoughtimes,he’dneverheardherbesomean-spirited,exceptperhapswhenhe’dstupidlyinvitedanex-girlfriendtoworkatthepaper.Eventhen,hiswife
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hadstruggledhardtohideherdistasteforthewomanandhowmuchthesituationupsether.“Youknowperfectlywell
thatCarrieandAbbypitchedintohelpNoahgetsettledbecauseCaitlynwasstartingherinternshipatthehospitalinBaltimore,”hesaidquietly.“Therewasnothingmoretoit,certainlynotanythinglikewhatyou’reimplying.”
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“You’resonaive,”Susiesaid.Mackfoundthewhole
conversationincreasinglypuzzling.IfSusiewasgoingdownthepathhefearedshemightbe,herjealousyofCarriewasaworrisomesign.“Sincewhendoyouhave
suchajadedattitudetowardCarrie?”heasked,keepinghistoneaslevelashecould.Sparkingafightwouldget
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himnowhere.Shewincedatthequestion,
butdidn’trespond.Thatlefthimnochoicebuttobedirect.“Isitbecauseshe’s
spendingtimehelpingSamwithBobbyandyouwantedtobetheonetodothat?Ifso,Suze,that’saproblem.”Hetriedtoholdhergaze,
buteventuallyshesighedandlookedaway,thoughnot
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beforehesawtearsforminginhereyes.Sheburiedherfaceinherhands.“I’mturningintosucha
witch,aren’tI?HowcanIbejealousofsomeonewho’sjusttryingtobenice?”Whenthetearsbeganto
fallinearnest,Mackgatheredherclose.“You’rethefurthestthingfromawitch.You’rejusthurtingrightnow.Iknowyou,babe.You’d
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neversaythingslikethisifyouweren’t.”“Ican’tseemtostop
myself.TheseawfulthoughtskeepcomingtomeandIgetsoangry.Thankgoodnessit’syouandnotsomeoneelseinthefamily.They’dprobablywantmetogointotherapy.”WhenMackdidn’treply
rightaway,sheregardedhimwithdismay.“That’swhatyouwant,too,isn’tit?”
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Ratherthanansweringdirectly,heasked,“Doyouthinktherapymighthelp?You’vebeenthroughalot.Notmanypeoplecouldhavehandleditaswellasyouhave.”“Youhave.Youwerea
rockthroughallofmycancertreatments.Youhandledeverycurvethatwasthrownatus.Evenwhenwefoundoutweweren’tgettingthe
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baby,youweresoblastedstrong.Iwantedtobelikethat,butthisadoptionfiascowasthefinalstraw.Idon’thaveanyhopeorstrengthleftinme.”“Ofcourseyoudo.Giveit
time,Susie.Youcan’texpecttogothroughsomethinglikethiswithoutittakingatoll.Iwasprobablypushingtoohardforustotryagain,becauseIthoughtthatwould
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help.Iwaswrong.Youneedtimetomourn.”“That’sexactlyit,”she
said,seizingonhiscomment.“I’mmourningthischildthatwasalmostours.WhenIlashoutatCarriethewayIdidjustnow,IcanhearthewordsasifsomeoneelseissayingthemandI’mhorrifiedatthespitefulness,butIcan’tseemtostop.”Shesighed.“MaybeIshouldseeWill.”
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“That’syourdecision,butitmighthelptohaveanotherperspective.Imaybetooclosetothistogiveyouthesortofunbiasedsupportyouneed.”“I’llthinkaboutit,”she
promised.“Andnow,ifyou’renottotallyturnedoffbymymoodswings,howwouldyoufeelabouttakingmetodinner?It’snottoolateforourdatenight,isit?”
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“It’snevertoolateformetospendaneveningwithyou,anyplaceyouwanttogo,”Macksaidreadily,relievedfornow.“Brady’s,Ithink.I’dlike
somewineandsomeexcellentrockfishandmaybeevenadecadentdessert.”Macksmiled.“Nowyou’re
talkingmylanguage.GreatfoodandadatewiththewomanIlovemorethan
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anythinginthisworld.Let’sdoit.”Thoughshecastonelast
lookatthestill-silentphone,shegrabbedherpurseandlockedup.Justoutsideshelookedupathim.“HaveImentionedhowmuchIloveyouandhowluckyIamthatyou’rehanginginherewithme?”“Nochanceofmedoing
anythingelse,”heassured
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her.“You’remyworld,Suze.Andwhetherweeverhavekidsorwedon’t,youwillalwaysbemorethanenough.Pleasetrytorememberthat.”
***
WhenCarriearrivedattheinninthemorningtopickupSamandBobby,therewasnosignofthem.HerauntJessfoundherpacinginthelobby.
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“Thereyouare,”Jesssaid.“It’scrazyaroundherethisweekend.We’repacked,soI’vebeenhelpinginthekitchenanddiningroom,butI’vebeentryingtowatchforyou.Samwantedmetoaskifyoucouldpickthemupattheballfield.KevincamebyearlieranddroveSamandBobbytoT-ball.KevinthoughtitwouldbeeasierforBobbyifDaveyandJohnny
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arrivedatthefieldwithhim.Sometimesmybigbrotherdemonstratesamazingsensitivity.”Shegrinned.“OfcourseitwasprobablyShanna’sidea.”Carrielaughed.“Morethan
likely.Thanksforpassingalongthemessage.I’dbettergetoverthere.”“Notbeforeyouhaveacup
ofcoffeewithme,”Jesssaid.“CallGramandtellher
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you’rerunninglate.Shewon’tmind.Ispoketoherafewminutesagoandsaidyoumightbe.”Carrieregardedher
suspiciously.“YoutoldGramI’dbelate?”“Isaiditwasapossibility,
becauseofhavingtogobytheballfield,”herauntsaidblithely.Carrietriedtoprotestany
furtherdelay,butJesshada
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firmgriponherelbowassheguidedherintothebusydiningroom.“There’satableoverbythewindow.I’llgetthecoffeeandjoinyouinaminute.”“Jess,Ireallydon’thave
time,”Carrieargued,thenglimpsedhermotheratthetableJesshadpointedout.“Ah,Isee.Anambush.”Jesslaughed.“Youcan
choosetoseeitthatwayif
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youwant,butItendtodomybigsister’sbidding,especiallyaftershe’shandedmeanice,fatdividendcheckfromtheinvestmentsshe’smadeforme.”AsCarriecrossedthe
room,shenoticedhermomwasdistractedlystirringherowncoffee.Sinceshetookneithercreamnorsugarinit,itwasclearlyanervousgesturejusttopassthetime.
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“Hi,Mom.You’reoutbrightandearlyonaSaturdaymorning,”Carriesaid,givingherahug.“How’dyoumanagethat?”“TracetookPatricktothe
ballfield.HewantstoplayT-ball,eventhoughhecanbarelyholdthebat.”“So,ratherthantaking
advantageofalittletimetoyourself,youjusthappenedtocomebyhere?”
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“IhadacheckforJess,butthenIheardyouwerestoppingbytopickupSamWinslowandIwashopingtocatchaglimpseofbothofyou.ApparentlyImissedSam,buthereyouare.”“Sorryyou’renotgettinga
twofer,”Carrieteased.“AndwhywouldyouwanttomeetSam,anyway?”“TheO’Brienrumormill
hasbeenbuzzing.Iwantedto
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seeiftherewasanytruthtowhatIwashearing.”ShegaveCarrieachidinglook.“Youmighthavementionedyourselfthatyou’dmetaniceyoungman.”“Everybodyismakingway
toomuchofthis,”Carriesaid.“Sam’ssingleandhe’sattractive.However,hejuststartedanewjobandhejustassumedcustodyofhisnephewafteraterrible
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tragedy.I’msurehe’snotlookingforarelationshipanymorethanIam.Webotharewaytoobusytryingtogetourlivesontrack.”“Andyetyou’retaking
timethismorningtohaveNellteachyouhowtocook,”Abbysaid.Shegrinned.“Clevermove,bytheway.”“Itwasn’tsomesortof
ploy,”Carrieclaimed.“Samcan’tcook.Hehasasix-year-
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oldwhoneedstoeat.”“Verylogical,”Abbysaid,
hereyessparkling.“Andyou?Wheredidyoursuddendesiretolearnyourwayaroundakitchencomefrom?Uptillnowyou’vebeenperfectlycontenttotakeyourmealswithfamilyoratthepuborSally’s.AndIknowyou’dhaveatonoffrequentdinerpointsatPaniniBistroorthepizzaplaceifthey
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offeredthem.”“Andwhosetthatexample
forme?”Carrieretorted,drawingastartledlaughfromhermom.“Touché.Iamamasterof
takeout.Thankfullythathasn’tdrivenTraceawayyet.Heknewwhathewasgettingwhenhemarriedme,anditwasn’tgourmetcooking.”Sinceshe’dmanagedto
one-uphermomanddoubted
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she’dpullitoffagain,Carriestoodup.“Mom,I’dlovetostayandchat,butIreallydoneedtopickupSamandBobbyandgetovertoGram’s.”“Fine.Go,butIexpectto
meetthemverysoon.Ifyoudon’tbringthemaround,I’llgolookingforthem.AtleastIknowwheretofindthelotofyouonSaturdaymornings.You’llbeinNell’skitchen.”
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Shegrinned.“Howconvenient!”“Weren’tyoubannedfrom
Nell’skitchenalongtimeago?”“OnlyifItrytogetnear
thestove,”Abbyretorted,laughing.“Nowgo.Havefun.”“Loveyou,”Carriesaid,
kissinghercheek.“Hey,”Abbycalledwhen
shewasjustafewfeetaway.
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Carrieturnedback.“Ihearyou’vedecidedto
stayintown.I’msogladaboutthat.Weallare.”“Boy,itdidn’ttake
GrandpaMicklongtospreadthatword.”“Isuspecthewastexting
beforeheleftyourhouse,”Abbyreplied.“Hesaiditwasthebestnewshe’dhadinweeks.”“I’mgladIcouldmakehis
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day.”Itremainedtobeseenif
thedecisionwasgoingtoworkouthalfaswellforher,butshewasdefinitelyhopeful.
***
Kevin’soffertopickthemupforT-ballhadbeenastrokeofgenius,SamthoughtashewatchedBobbyshadowing
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theolder,veryfriendlyDaveyonthefield.SoonBobbywastalkingtootherboyshisownage,takinghisturnatbatandlisteningcloselytowhateverthecoacheshadtosay.Ofcourse,Samalso
noticedthatBobbyneverwentmorethanacoupleofminuteswithoutglancinghisway.Withsomekids,hesuspectedthatwouldbenomorethanaquickcheckfor
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parentalapproval,butinBobby’scase,Samhadafeelingitwasanotherexampleoftheboy’sneedtoreassurehimselfthatSamwascloseby.ItwasBobby’steam’slast
at-batwhenhefeltCarrie’spresencenearby.Heturnedandgrinnedather.“We’realmostdone.”“How’shedoing?”“Thekidhasprettygood
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eye-handcoordination.He’shadmorehitsthantheotherkidsontheteam.That’smadehimaninstanthero.”Sheglancedaroundthe
fieldandspottedBobbywaitingforhisturnatbat.Hewaslaughingwithanotherlittleboy.Forthefirsttimesinceshe’dseteyesonhim,helookedlikeeveryotherchildhisagehavingagreattimeattheballfield.
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“WhoseideawasitforhimtoplayT-ball?”sheasked.“His.Heaskedifthere
wereteams.IcheckedwithKevinandhereweare.”“He’sobviouslyplayed
before.”“Apparently,”Samsaid.
“NotthatIknewmuchabouthislifebeforeIgotcustody.Thankfullyhe’sstartingtospeakupaboutthethingshelikestodo.”
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Carriegavehimacuriouslook.“Youknewabouthisfondnessforthejunglegym.”“Mysistersentpictures
fromtimetotime.Itwasoneofherwaysofkeepingthelinesofcommunicationopen.Whenwespoke,wetendedtobuttheads,sowedidn’tdoitoften.”“Thatsurprisesme,”Carrie
said.“Especiallysinceshetrustedyoutotakecustodyof
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Bobby.”“Itsurprisedme,too,”Sam
confessed.“Ithinkmaybeshethoughtitwouldnevercometothat.”Hesighed.“IguessnowI’llneverknowwhatshewasthinking.”“I’msorry.”“Yeah,me,too.”ThebatterbeforeBobby
wascalledoutatfirstbase,andthegameendedbeforehecouldgotobat.Hedropped
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thebatandrantoSam,hisfaceflushedwithexcitement.“Didyouseeme?Igottwo
hits!”“Isaw,”Samsaid.“You’re
prettygood.”“Notjustprettygood,”
Bobbycorrected.“I’mgreat!”“Well,definitelynolackof
confidencewhenitcomestoT-ball,”Samsaiddryly.“Ihaven’theardyousayhitoCarrie,yet.”
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“Hi,”Bobbysaid,instantlyshy.“Ionlysawthelastcouple
ofminutesofthegame,butIheardverygoodthingsabouthowwellyouplayed,”Carriesaid.“Maybeyoucouldcome
nextweek,”Bobbysuggested.“I’dlovethat.MaybeI
will.”Sheruffledhishair.“Areyoureadytolearnto
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cook?”Bobbylookeddoubtful,so
Samsteppedin.“Icertainlyam,especiallysinceyoutoldmewegettoeatwhatwecook.”Bobby’sexpression
brightenedatonce.“Wedo?ThenIhopewe’relearningtomakecookies.”Kevinapproachedjustthen
withDaveyandJohnnyintow.“We’regoingtoSally’s
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formilkshakes,Bobby.Youwanttocomealong?”HeglancedatSam.“IcanbringhimbyGram’safterthat.”SamwatchedBobby
closely.Atfirsttheideaofapostgametreatseemedtointeresthim,butthenhegazedupatSam.“Youwouldn’tbethere?”“Ican’tgo,buddy.I’m
goingwithCarrieforthatcookinglesson,butyoucan
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goifyouwantto.”Bobbytookhishandand
heldontight.“No.Iwanttogowithyou.”Kevingavehiman
understandinglook.“Noproblem.Maybenexttime.”HegaveCarrieaquickkissonthecheek.“Don’twearGramout.”“It’smorelikelytobethe
otherwayaround,”Carriesaid.
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WhenKevinandhisboyshadgone,SamrealizedBobbywasregardingCarriewithcuriosity.“HowcomeKevinkissed
you?Isheyourboyfriend?IthoughtShannawashiswife.”Carrielaughed.“She
absolutelyis.He’smyuncle.Heandmymomarebrotherandsister.”“Didyoueverlivewith
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him?”“Justforalittlewhileat
mygrandpa’shousewhenwefirstmovedbacktoChesapeakeShores.Thenmymomgotmarriedagainandwemovedtoanotherhouse.”“Oh,”Bobbysaid,his
expressionthoughtfulasifhewastryingtofittogetherapuzzle.“Youguysready?”Carrie
asked.
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“Wecan’twait,right,Bobby?”“Iguess,”hesaid,
soundingdoubtful.Carrieleaneddownand
whisperedsomethinginhisearthatmadehimsmile.“Whatdidyoutellhim?”
Samaskedastheywalkedtothecar.“Thatnomatterwhatwe
cooked,thereareboundtobecookies.AndifIknowGram,
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she’llhaveawholeplatefreshfromtheovenwhenwegetthere.”“Isn’tthatgreat?”Bobby
askedexcitedly.“Bestnewsever,”Sam
agreed.Hewasn’tholdingoutalot
ofhopethatwhateverheandCarrielearnedtomakewouldbereceivedquitesoenthusiastically.
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***
Samglancedacrossthesmallbutcher-blockislandinNell’skitchenandsmiledatthefrownofconcentrationonCarrie’sfaceasshedicedvegetablesintoperfectlymatchedpieces.“Needaruler?”he
inquired.Shescowledathim.“Gram
saidtheyshouldbethesame
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sizesotheycookthroughevenly.”“I’mnotsureshemeant
youhadtobequitethatprecise,”hesaid,grinningashegesturedtohisownhaphazardlydicedveggies.“Iguesswe’llseewhenshe
andBobbygetbackfromcheckingoutthegardenandpickingthefreshherbsweneed,”Carriesaid,finallyputtingdownherknifeand
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regardingherneatpilesofvegetableswithobvioussatisfaction.Samglancedoutthe
windowandsawNellleaningdowntolistentoBobbyastheywalkedtowardthehouse.Tohissurpriseandrelief,Bobbyhadbeenchatteringnonstopeversincehe’dmetNell.Eitheritwashernaturalwarmthorthechocolate-chipcookiesjust
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outoftheoven,butshe’dwonBobbyoveratonce.Carriefollowedthe
directionofhisgazeandsmiled.“Theymakequiteapair,don’tthey?”“Isshethiswaywithall
kids,sortofanaturalPiedPiper?”“Prettymuch.Whenmy
grandmotherleftmygrandfatherwhilemymomwasateenagerandher
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siblingswerestillprettyyoung,Grammovedinandtookover.Therewerefiveofthemanditcouldhavewornherout,especiallywithGrandpaMickontheroadwithworksomuch.Instead,shealwayssaidthatbeingaroundthemandthegreat-grandchildrenwho’vecomesincehaskeptheryoung.Shehasthisfreespiritthatallofusappreciate.Andwatching
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herfallinlovewithDillonalloveragainwhentheyreconnectedinDublinwasaninspiration.”“It’snicetoknowthat
thingsdoworkout,evenifit’snotonthetimetableweanticipated.”“That’swhatshesays,that
lovehasitsowntimetable,andweneedtopayattentiontoit.Noteveryonegetsthatsecondchance.”
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Samstudiedherandnoticedasadnesshehadn’tseensincethatfirstnightwhenhe’dspottedheratthebaratO’Brien’s.“Howdoyoufeelabout
secondchances?”“Givenhowoftenwe
managetomessupourownlives,I’mallforthem,”shesaid.“You?”“Samething.Haveyou
messedupyourlife?Itseems
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tomeyouhaveitall—abig,wonderfulfamily,awholetownthat’spracticallyafamilybusinessinsomecrazyway.You’rebeautiful.”“I’llacceptthe
compliment,butthoseareblessingsthatIreallyhadnothingtodowith.Mylookscanbeattributedtogreatgenes.ThistownisGrandpaMick’sbaby.Thefamily,well,that’sNell’sdoing.
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Evenwhentherehavebeentensions,she’smadecertainthatweallsticktogether.It’sniceknowingthatkindofsupportisalwaystherewhenweneedit.”“Isthatwhyyoucame
backhere?IheardyouwerelivinginEurope.”“Inaway,”shesaid.“This
ishome,andIdoloveithere.”“Areyouplanningtostay
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oristhereanotherglamorousjobonthehorizon.I’veheardfromacoupleofpeopleyouwereinvolvedinthefashionindustry.”“Allbehindme,”shesaid.
“Itturnedoutitwasn’trightforme.”Hegrinned.“Youworethe
clotheswell.”HeglancedatthebrightblueT-shirtandcaprisshewaswearingtoday,alongwithapairofflip-flops
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withabigwhitedaisybetweenhertoes.Nomoresexyheels.Nodesignerwardrobe.“Isthisanewlook?”“Youhaveagoodeye,”
shesaid.“IdecidedIneededsomemorepracticalclothesforthelifeI’mlivingnow.IlovedsomeofthethingsIwasabletobuyatadiscountbecauseofmyconnectiontoadesigner,butIwouldhave
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hadheartfailureifI’dsplatteredgreaseonthem.”ShegesturedtowardtheapronNellhadgivenher,whichwascoveredalreadywithvariousstains.“Lookatme.Isurewouldn’thavemadeoneofthoseperfecthousewivesportrayedinthoseoldTVsitcoms.”Sheglancedhiswayandcaughtapuzzledlook.“Youknow,theoneswhocouldcookentire
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mealsinadressandheelswithoutgettingathingonthem.”“Ah,yes,”hesaidwith
dawningunderstanding.“Well,justsoyouknow,youlooklikeamillionbucksintheseclothes,too.”Sheblushed.“Sam
Winslow,areyouflirtingwithme?”“JustcallingitlikeIsee
it,”hesaid,thenwinked.
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“I’vealsoheardthatalittleflirtingisgoodforyourhealth.Ifthatblushonyourcheeksisanyindication,itdefinitelyhasanimpactonbloodflow.”Shelaughed.“Inever
thoughtofitquitethatway.I’llhavetobrushuponmyflirtingskills.”Asuddenimageofher
flirtingwithanymanwhocrossedherpathgaveSam
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pause.Andthefactthatitdidscaredhiminawaythatlittleelseinhislifehad,Theonlythingscarierwasknowingthatastrickyasthepastthreeweeksofadjustingtobeingadadhadbeen,hestillhadyearsinthatroletofigureout.Thatthoughthadhim
movingquicklytothedoortoholditopenforNellandBobby,relievedtohavea
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distraction.HecouldfeelCarrie’spuzzledgazefortherestofthemorningashefocusedhisattentiononmasteringNell’sinstructionsandansweringherquestions.Whentheyfinallysatdown
atthebigkitchentabletosamplewhatthey’dcooked,hesmiledwhenBobbytookhisfirsttasteoftheIrishstewandlookedup,hisfacealightwithsurprise.
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“Thisisreallygood,”hesaid,alreadyspooningupmore.“It’slikethestewwehadwhenwegottotown.”“Itis,”Carrieagreed,
lookingtriumphant.Shemethisgaze.“Howaboutthat?Wedidn’tmessitup.”“YoubothgetanAplus,”
Nellsaidapprovingly.“Neverhadbetter,noteven
backinDublin,”Dillonadded.
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Samstudiedtheirexpressions,stillharboringdoubtsabouttheirsuccess.Eventuallyhetookatentativetaste.Astheflavorsofthebeef,freshherbsandvegetablesburstonhistongue,heregardedthestewwithamazement.“WhoknewIcouldcook?”
hesaid,anunmistakablehintofwonderinhisvoice.Nellchuckled.“Boy,
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you’rejustscratchingthesurface.Youcan’tliveonIrishstewalone,evenasgoodasitis.Nextweekwe’llmoveontomychickenanddumplings.Nowthosedumplingsarethetestthatseparatesthemenfromtheboys.”Carriemurmured
somethingunderherbreaththatdrewasharplookfromNell.
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“What’sthat,girl?Speakup.”“IsaidUncleKevin’s
dumplingsareprettylightandfluffy.”Nellgaveherachiding
look.“Youmeancomparedtomine?”Carrieshrugged.“Hedoes
seemtohaveamagicaltouch.”“Andwhere’dhegetthat
from,Iaskyou?”Nell
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inquiredwithatouchofindignation.“I’mguessinghelearnedit
fromyou,”Samsaidquickly.Nellgaveanodof
satisfaction.“Ofcoursehedid,”shesaid,thenfrowned.“Butdoyouknowtheungratefulbratwon’ttellmewhathe’sdonetoimproveonmyrecipe.”“Soyou’readmittinghis
arebetter?”Carriepressed.
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“Maybeasmidgen,”Nellconceded,“butifyoutellhimIsaidthat,I’llcallyoualiar.”SamnoticedthatBobby
wasthoroughlyengrossedinhismeal,thankgoodness.BecausewhiletherestofthemmightbewiseenoughtokeepNell’sadmissiontothemselves,ifBobbyheardit,he’dblurtitoutwithoutasecondthought.“Hey,Bobby,”Samsaid,
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justtoseeifhewasasdistractedashe’dhoped.Bobbyglancedupfromhis
food.“Chickenanddumplingsnextweek.Iknow.”Samwinced.“And?”“Kevin’sarebetterbut
we’renottelling.”Dillon’sboomoflaughter
filledthekitchen.HereachedoverandsqueezedNell’shand.“That’llteachyouto
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saythingsyoudon’twantrepeated,mydarlin’Nell.”Atwinkleinhereyes,she
focusedonBobby.“HowmanycookieswouldittaketomakesureyouforgetwhatIsaid?”Bobby’sfacelitup.“Ican
haveallIwant?”Carrieintervened.“No
bribery,Gram.”Nellsatbackwithasigh.
“IsupposeI’lljusthaveto
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hopethatBobbyhasaveryshortmemoryorthatheandKevindon’tcrosspaths.”“Somethingtellsmeyou’re
doomedonbothscores,”Carriesaid.“Kidsalwaysrememberthethingsyoudon’twantthemtoandKevin’slikelytobeatBobby’sT-ballpracticeeverySaturday.”AshehadatKevinand
Shanna’s,Samlistenedwith
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growingamazementtothebanteratthetable.Thiswaswhatitwouldbeliketohavearealfamily,connectednotjustbythechanceofDNA,butbygenuinecaring.Forthefirsttimeinhislife,hewantedthat,notjustbecauseitwaswhatBobbyhadlostanddeservedtohaveagain,butforhimself.Also,forthefirsttime,hecouldappreciatejusthowmucheffortLaurel
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hadputintotryingtogivehimsomesemblanceofnormalcyamidthechaostheirparents’dysfunctionhadcreated.
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9
OnMondaymorningCarriedraggedherselfoutofbedattheungodlyhourof5:00a.m.toshower,dressandmakethedrivetotheHappily-Ever-AfterDay-careCenter.Atleastthesunwasstillcomingupfairlyearly,soshewasn’t
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drivingthewindingroadinthepitch-darkofwinter.Atthecentershefoundthe
lightsonandJulieandtwootherwomenbusymakingsandwichesforlunch.Juliegaveheranapprovinglook,madequickintroductions,thennoddedtowardashelfwhereaboxofdisposablegloveshadbeenleftopen.“Getbusy,”Juliesaid.“We
needtohavethesemade
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beforethenextroundofkidsstartstoarrive.Lucyhastheearlyarrivalsentertainedfornow,butshe’llneedhelpassoonasitstartsgettingcrazyinhere.”Studyingtheturkey,
tomatoandlettucesandwichesbeingassembled,Carriepitchedinandwenttowork,thendaredtoask,“Wouldn’tpeanutbutterandjellybealoteasierandmore
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popular?”“Peanutallergy,”Julie
explained.“Weknowwehaveoneboywhohasit.Onceweopenthatjar,whoknowswhomightgettheirhandsonit.Whytakechances?Andwetrytosticktohealthyoptions,notpopularones.”“Weshakethingsupwith
grilledcheeseandtunaonpitabread,”Lucysaid,
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joiningthemandreportingthatthethreeearlyarrivalswereoccupiedwithinviewwithpicturebooks.“It’sneverboringandtheyoungerkidswillprettymuchtryanythingonce.Foracoupleofthem,themealtheygetherewillbethehealthiestonetheygetallday.Addinsomefruitandaddedveggiesatsnacktimeandtheygetdecentnutritionfromus.It
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makestheolderonesmorealert,too,sowecanactuallygetinafewlessonsduringthedaywhenthelittlestonesaredownfortheirnaps.”“Whatagesdoyouhave?”
Carrieasked.“Inoticedsomeolderkidsherewithatutortheotherday.”“Wehavesixuptotheage
ofeightwhocomehereafterschool.Duringthesummerthey’reoftenhereallday.
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They’vebeenwithussincetheyweretoddlers.Iwon’ttakebabies,”Juliesaid.“Ijustdon’thavethestaff,butwe’lltakethemasearlyastwoaslongasthey’rereasonablypottytrained.”JustthenaloudNo!carried
fromthelobby.Julieshookherhead,her
expressionresigned.“Lucy?”“I’monit,”herdaughter
said.
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“Problemchild?”Carrieguessed.“Shejuststartedherea
weekagoandhasbig-timeseparationanxiety,atleastuntilwecangethersointerestedinsomething,shedoesn’trealizehermomhasleft.Oncetheotherkidsarehere,she’sprettygood.”ThinkingofBobby,Carrie
asked,“Howdoyoudealwiththeseparationthing?I
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haveafriendwhojustassumedfullcustodyofhisnephewaftertheparentsdiedinanaccident.Sohe’sinanewtownwithanunclehebarelyknows.Inoticedtheotherdaythathe’snotlettinghisuncleoutofhissight.That’sgoingtobeaproblemwhenschoolstarts.”“Totallyunderstandable,”
Juliesaid.“Howoldishe?Doeshehavefriends?”
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“He’ssixandhe’sstartedmakingsomefriends.”“Thesameage?”“Acoupleareolder,buthe
startedplayingT-ballonSaturdayandthatlookspromising.Heseemedtofitinprettyquickly,thoughthat’swhenInoticedhewaskeepingacloseeyeonhisunclethewholetime.”“Ifhe’ssocializingthat
wellalready,I’llbethe’llbe
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fine,”oneoftheotherwomenmakingsandwichespipedup,thengaveashrug,herexpressionwry.“LotsofpsychologyclassesbeforeIhadtoquitcollege.Iknowjustenoughtobedangerous.”“Alicia,right?”Carriesaid,
determinedtokeepasmanynamesaspossiblestraightfromthebeginning.She’dbeenamasteratitduringhercareerinfashion.
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RememberingnameswasthefirststepingreatPR.Alicianodded.“Listentoher,”Juliesaid.
“Imayhavebeenatthisalongtime,butAliciadoeshavetheadvantageofallthoseclasses.Oneofthesedayswe’regoingtoconvincehertofinishherdegreeandhangouthershingleinchildpsychology.OrI’llputheronstaffrighthereandbragabout
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her.”Carrienoticedthatthe
womenhadaneasyrapportandademeanorthatwouldbewarmandwelcomingwiththechildren.WhenLucyreturnedwithalittlegirlwhosefacewastearstained,Aliciarushedovertogiveherahug.“We’resogladyou’re
here,”shetoldthechild.“Wanttocomewithmeand
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drawapicture?”“No!”“Fingerpaints?”Alicia
suggested,evenasJuliewinced.“Okay,”thegirlsaidwitha
sparkofinterest.“Besureshewearsa
smockoverthatprettydress,”Juliecalledafterthem,thensighed.“Thepersonwhoinventedfingerpaintingshouldbemadetocleanupa
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daycareattheendofthedayforayear.IswearI’dbanitfromthepremisesifIcould.”“No,youwouldn’t,”Lucy
said,givingherahug.“Youareinchargehere,soyoucouldeasilytossallthepaintsinthegarbageandnevermentiontheactivityagain.”Julie’sexpression
brightened.“Icould,couldn’tI?”“Andletallthosesmocks
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youboughtgotowaste?Comeon,Mom,youknowthekidsloveallthosebrightcolorsandgettingmessy.Nothingonearthmakesyouhappierthanaroomfilledwithsmilingfaces.”Threemorechildren
arrivedinrapidsuccession.Theadultsmadequickworkofgettingthemsettledwithtoysorotherage-appropriateactivitiesbeforethenext
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wavearrived.Byseven-thirtytheroomwasfilledwithnoisy,butdefinitelycheerful,chaos.BynineCarrie’sclothes
werestreakedwithfingerpaint,andherhair,whichshe’dpinnedatopherhead,hadtumbledtohershoulders.ButshewasashappyasthosechildrenLucyhaddescribed.She’dreadatleastadozenstories,helpedclumsyfingers
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playwithblocksanddoledoutpraiseforunidentifiableartprojects.Afterlunch,withthelittlest
childrendownfornaps,andotherslookingatpicturebooksduringtheirownquiettime,shefinallyhadaminutetodrawinadeepbreath.“Howareyoudoing?”
Julieasked.“Istheindoctrinationbyfirehelpingordestroyingthiscrazy
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impulseofyours?”“Iloveit,”Carrie
respondedwithouthesitation.Juliesmiled.“Thenthere
maybehopeforyou.You’llbebacktomorrow?OrWednesday?Wedidn’tsettleonaschedule.”“Tomorrow,”Carriesaidat
once,eagertolearnallshecouldasfastasshecould.Forthefirsttimein
months,shewasactually
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excitedaboutgettingupinthemorning,evenifitwasat5:00a.m.whennosensiblepersonshouldbeexpectedtobeawake.
***
Sinceshedidn’twanttorevealherplanstothewholefamilyjustyetandithadbeenLuke’sideainthefirstplace,assoonasshe’d
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showeredandchanged,Carrieheadedtothepub.ItwasstillearlyenoughtobedesertedandshefoundLuke,asexpected,behindthebar.Hestudiedhercuriously.
“Something’sdifferent.”“I’vehadaverygood
day,”shesaid.“Haveyou,now?Well,it’s
definitelyagreedwithyou.Yourfaceisglowingandyoureyesarebright.And
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there’salovelystreakofsomethingthatlookslikebluepaintinyourhair.Whatwassospecialabouttoday?”Carriereachedforherhair,
regrettingthatshe’dsimplytwisteditintoalooseknotagain,ratherthanwashingitassheprobablyshouldhave.“Where?”sheaskedLuke.“It’sthestrandthat’s
pulledlooseandcurledalongyourneck.IfIdidn’tknow
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youbetter,I’dthinkyouweremakingsomesortofrebelliousfashionstatement,thekindmeanttodriveyourgrandfathertodistraction.”“Hardly,”shesaid,then
shrugged.“Oh,well,it’llwashout.”Lukestaredatherwith
feignedshock.“Whoareyouandwhat’shappenedtomyperfectlygroomed,fashion-forwardcousin?You’renot
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rushinghometodealwithitrightnow?”“Nope,”shesaid,grinning.
“Thisisthenewme,relaxedandtakinglifeasitcomes.”“Nowthat’safineattitude,
ifyouaskme,”hesaid.“Whatbroughtiton?”Sheextractedhispromise
thatonpainofdeathhe’dneverrevealawordoftheirconversation.“Bartender’s
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confidentiality,”heintonedseriously.“You’vegotit.”“Itookyouradvice.”“Whatadviceisthat?I
handoutsomuchofitandI’mnotusedtoanyonetakingitseriously.”“Maybetherestofitis
suspect,butthiswasrightontarget.I’mvolunteeringataday-carecentertoseeifIlikeitandtolearneverythingIcanaboutpossiblyrunning
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myown.IevensignedupfortwoonlineclassestheownerrecommendedItake.”“Now,there’sabitofnews
worthcelebrating,”hesaidatonce,tappinghisglassofsodawithherglassofwine.“Judgingbythewayyoulook,I’mguessingyou’refindingthatit’sagoodfit.”“It’sthebest,”shetoldhim
enthusiastically.“Theworkishard.Thereisahugeamount
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ofresponsibility,butI’veneverbeenhappier.Iactuallycan’twaittogetbacktheretomorrow.”“Nodifficultchildrento
ruinitforyou?”“Sure,thereareproblem
kidsor,Ishouldsay,kidswhohaveproblemsfromtimetotime,butnothingIcan’thandle.”Shehesitated,thenamended,“Atleastsofar.”“Tellmeeverything.”
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Shedescribedhowshe’ddiscoveredthedaycare,stoppedinandmetJulieandLucyandaskedforadvice.“IgotawholelotmorethanI’deverimagined,”shesaid.“Julie’sincredible.It’snotjustthatshehasawealthofinformationtoshare,butshecaresalmostasmuchasIdoaboutmakingsureI’mnotmakingamistake.Notformysake,ofcourse,sinceshe
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doesn’tevenknowme,butforanykidswhomightbeplacedinmycare.Injustoneday,I’vealreadylearnedsomuch.I’malsobeginningtoseehowmuchIdon’tknow.”“Andthebluepaint?”Shesmiled.“Someofthe
kidsarealittleaggressivewiththefingerpaints,”shesaid,thenshrugged.“It’llwashout.”Luketappedherglass
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again.“Andthatsortofacceptanceiswhatwillmakeyouverygoodatthis,ifitturnsouttobetherightcareerforyou.”“Ialreadyknowitis,”
Carriesaideagerly.“ButI’mnotrushingintoanything.Foronething,Juliewon’tteachmethenutsandboltstillshe’ssatisfiedthatI’mnotgoingtomessup.Foranother,thisexperienceis
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invaluable.”“Whenwillyoutelltherest
ofthefamily?”Shesighedheavilyatthe
question.“Noidea.Notyet,that’sforsure.GrandpaMickwillthinkI’mgraspingatstraws.Forsomeonewho’salwaysbeenahugesupporteroftheschoolsandeducation,he’llviewthisasglorifiedbabysittingandawasteofmytalents.Icanhearhimnow.”
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Toherregret,Lukenodded.“Icanhearhimdoingjustthat.Nothinglessthanloftyambitionsforhisfamily.Mysidewasmuchthesame.Canyoutunehimout?”“Today?Probablynot,”
sheconcededwithregret.“OnceI’m100percentcertainI’montherightpath,Iwon’tlethimintimidateme.”“Goodforyou.”He
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glancedtowardthedoor.“Youmightwanttobraceyourself.Iseehimoutsidechattingwithsomeonerightnow.”“Idon’tsupposeyou’dlet
mesneakoutthroughthekitchen?”sheaskedwistfully.“OfcourseIwould,but
you’dhateyourselfforrunningaway.”“Surprisingly,notthat
much,”shereplied,butshe
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didstaywhereshewas.“Notaword,remember?Youpromised.”“Hewon’thearthisfrom
me,”Lukeagreed.“Butdon’twaittoolongtofillhimin,Carrie.It’llonlyannoyhimwhenhedoesfindout.”Noquestionaboutit,she
thoughttoherself,thenmanagedabrightandhopefullyinnocentsmileashergrandparentscame
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throughthedoor.Shestoodupandgavethembothhugs.“Sorrytobolt,butIhave
thingstodo,”shesaid,thinkingofthereadingsheneededtodoforheronlineclasses.She’dorderedthebooksfromtheuniversitybookstoreandthey’dbeenonherdoorstepearlier.Shecouldhardlywaittocheckthemoutanddoherfirstassignment.Herenthusiasm
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wasafarcryfromthedayswhenshe’dhatedwastingtimeonstudyingincollege.Hergrandfatherregarded
herwithsuspicion.“You’vebarelytouchedyourwine.”“Notime,”shesaid.“Love
you.”“Enjoyyourevening,”her
grandmothercalledafterher.“Ihopeit’sahotdatethathasyourushingoff.”“Hotdate?”GrandpaMick
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echoedindignantly.“What’swrongwithyou,woman?Youdon’tsaysomethinglikethattoourgranddaughter.”“Youdon’t,”shecorrected.
“I’mtherealist.Ifwewanthertobetrulyhappy,sheneedssomeoneinherlife.”Carriedidn’tlingertohear
whathergrandfatherhadtosaytothat,butshehadahunchhergrandmotherwasabouttogetanearful.Better
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GrandmaMeganthanher!
***
SamlookeddownintoBobby’stearstainedfaceandfelttheurgetoshedafewtearsofhisown.They’djustfinisheddinneratSally’s—anotherburgerandfriesforBobby—whenSamhadtriedtoexplainthatheneededtogetBobbyenrolledinschool
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firstthinginthemorningandthenhehadtogobacktowork.“Idon’twanttogoto
schoolhere,”Bobbyhadshouted,drawingstaresfromtheothercustomers.“Iwanttogoathomewithmyfriends.”“Youhavefriendshere,”
Samremindedhim,unabletokeepanoteofdesperationoutofhisvoice.
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“They’renotmyrealfriends.Imissmyoldfriends.ImissMommyandDaddy.Iwanttogohome.”Samknewthatdeepdown
Bobbyunderstoodthatsimplywasn’tpossible.HeevenknewthatBobbyhadstartedtolikeChesapeakeShores.He’djustbumpedupagainsttherealityofthehugechangeinhislife.Samseemedtodothesamethingabouta
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milliontimesaday.Theshockofitstillhadn’twornoff,andhehadn’tcomeclosetodealingwithhisownfeelingsaboutthelossofhissister.FocusedonBobbynow,
Samurgedhimoutoftheirboothandheadedoutside,hopingtofinishthisdelicatenegotiationwithsomedegreeofprivacy.HetookBobby’shandandcrossedthestreetto
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theplaygroundonthetowngreen.Hechoseasecludedbenchunderamajesticoldoaktreeandsatdown,thenpattedtheseatbesidehim.Foraminute,itlookedasif
Bobbymightstubbornlyresist,hislittlejawsetandmoreofthoseheartbreakingtearsrollingdownhischeeks,buteventuallyheheavedasighandclimbedontothebench.Hedid,however,keep
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somedistancebetweenhimselfandSam.Flyingbytheseatofhis
pants,Samsaidquietly,“Youknowyouliveherenowwithme.Iknowhowconfusingit’sbeenandwhatahugechangeitis,butwe’reinthistogether.”“Butyou’regoingto
work,”Bobbysaid,lookinglostandscared.“WhatwillIdo?”
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“Inanothercoupleofweeks,you’llstartschool,you’llmeetlotsandlotsofnewfriends,andyou’llbesobusyyouwon’tevenhavetimetothinkaboutme.”“Whatabouttomorrow?”Sammadeanimpulsive
decision,oneheprayedthatMackwouldn’tobjectto.“Youcancometothenewspaperofficewithmetomorrow,ifyouwantto.
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Youcanbringyourbooksandyourgames.”Bobby’ssilencesuggested
hewasconsideringtheidea.“Iguessthatwouldbeokay,”hesaideventually,thoughhedidn’tsoundveryhappyaboutit.“Wouldyouratherspend
thedaywithDaveyandJohnny?”Samasked.“IcancheckwithShannaandKevintoseewho’stakingcareof
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themandmaybeworkthatout.”Bobbyfellsilent,then
heavedasigh.“Thatmightbeokay.”ButwhenSamcalled
ShannaandlearnedthatHenrywascaringforhisyoungersiblings,hecouldn’tbringhimselftoaskthatBobbybeaddedtothemix.WhileDaveymightnotbeaproblem,Johnnyandthebaby
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wouldbeenoughofahandfulfortheteenager.“Areyoulookingfor
somethingforBobbytodotomorrow,soyoucanwork?”Shannaaskedperceptively.“How’dyouguess?”“Itwasboundtocomeup,”
shesaid.“CallCarrie.She’llbemorethanwillingtopitchin,I’msure.”“Shedidofferwhenwe
firstmet,”Samconceded,
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thoughhedidn’tliketheideaoftakingadvantageofher.“Well,thereyougo.She’s
wonderfulwithkidsandBobbyalreadyknowsher.”Samglancedupand
spottedCarriecrossingthegreen.“Thanksforthesuggestion,”hetoldShanna.“I’llcheckintoit.”JustthenitseemedBobby
sawher,too,andcalledout.“Hi,Carrie!”heyelled,
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scramblingdownandrunningacrossthegreentomeether.“Ijusthadahamburgerfordinner.That’smyfavorite.”Shelaughed.“Ithought
pizzawasyourfavorite.”Bobbynodded.“They’re
boththebestfoodever!”Samwincedather
reproachfulexpressionassheapproached.“Don’tlookatmelikethat.I’mweak.WhatcanIsay?Hamburgersand
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pizzaaremyfavorites,too.”“Mine,too,whenitcomes
rightdowntoit,”sheadmitted,sittingnexttohim.“Whathappenedtoyourresolvetohavehealthymeals?”“Guilt,”hesaidatonce.“I
hadtobreaksomenewsandthiswasmeanttopavetheway.”Sheimmediatelyfrowned.
“Whatnews?”
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“Sam’sgottaworktomorrow,”Bobbyannouncedsorrowfully.“Ah,Isee,”shesaid.“And
schoolhasn’tstartedyet.”“Exactly.”Samhesitated.
“IjustspoketoShanna,butHenryiswatchingherwholegang.Ididn’twanttoaddonemore.Shesuggestedyoumighthaveanidea.”“I’msureshesuggestedI’d
behappytohavehimatmy
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house,andnormallyIwould,butI’mnotgoingtobearoundtomorrow.”“That’sokay,noproblem,”
Samsaidatonce.“I’llfiguresomethingout.Worstcase,he’llcometoworkwithme.”Herexpressionturned
thoughtful.“Idohaveanalternative.CanImakeaquickcall?”“Ifyouthinkitmightlead
toasolution,gorightahead,”
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hesaidatonce.“Youknow,though,thisisnotyourproblemtosolve.”“Iknow,butthiscould
workout.”Sheheldupafingerashercallconnected,thensteppedawaysotheconversationcouldn’tbeoverheard.“Done,”shesaid,smiling
whensherejoinedthem.“Pleasetellmeyoudidn’t
changeyourplansonmy
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account,”Samsaid.“Notatall.Ijustchecked
tomakesureitwouldbeokayifBobbycamealong.”“Where?”Bobbyasked
suspiciously.“Firstyouhavetotellmeif
you’reanygoodatkeepingsecrets,”shesaid.“InevertoldKevinabout
thedumplings,justlikeIpromised,”hesaidsolemnly.“Excellent.”
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Samregardedhercuriously.“Whatonearthareyouuptoandwhyisitasecret?”“BecauseI’mnotsurehow
myfamilywillreact,”shesaid,thenshookherhead.“No,actuallyIknowexactlyhowthey’llreactandI’mnotquitereadytotakethemon.”“Thisisgettingmore
intriguingbytheminute.DoIreallywantBobbydrawninto
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thisschemeofyours?”“I’mvolunteeringataday-
careplaceoveronthehighway,”shesaid.“YouhavetoadmittakingBobbyalongisanidealsolution.”SheturnedtoBobby.“Todaywasmyfirstdayandwehadlotsandlotsoffun.Wedidfingerpaintingandplayedgamesoutside.You’llbeoneoftheolderkids,soyouevengettohelpwiththelittle
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ones,likeabigbrother.Thereweresnacksandareallygoodlunch.Ithinkyou’lllikeit.Doyouwanttocomewithme?”Bobbylookedskeptical,
hisworriedgazegoingfromhertoSamandbackagain.“You’llbetherethewholetime?Youpromise?”“Absolutely.”“Iguessitwouldbemore
funthangoingtothepaper
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withSam.”“It’llbetonsmorefun,”
Carrieagreed.ShemetSam’sgaze.“Howdoesitsoundtoyou?”“Ifyou’resureit’snota
problemandBobby’swilling,it’sokaywithme.Theydon’tmindthatyou’rebringinghim?”“Notforthenextcoupleof
weeks.Schoolwillstartthen,soitwon’tbeanissueany
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longer,right?”“Right,”Samconfirmed.
“I’dbehappytopaytheirfee.”“Hey,they’regettingme
free.That’sanextrapairofhands.TheownerhadalreadyofferedtoletmebringJackson,mynephew,onthedaysIhavehim.And,asIsaid,Bobbywillbeabighelpwiththelittlerkids.”SamstudiedBobby’sface.
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“You’reokaywiththis?Carriewillhavemyphonenumber,soyoucancallmeanytime.”“Itcouldbefuntobelikea
bigbrother,”Bobbysaid.“Daveysaysit’sreallycoolhavingJohnnyaround.”“ThenIguessit’s
decided,”Samsaid,noteventryingtohidehisrelief.“Thanks,Carrie.You’realifesaver.”
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“CanIgoclimbonthejunglegym?”Bobbyasked,hismoodimproved.“Sure,”Samsaid,standing
uptofollowalongbehind,asdidCarrie.“So,tellme,”hebegan.
“Whywouldn’tyouwantyourfamilytoknowyou’redoingvolunteerworkatadaycare?”“Becausethewhole
purposeofitistogetenough
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experiencetoseeifIreallywanttoopenmyown,”shesaid.“Ah,”Samsaid.“Andyou
don’tthinkthey’dapprove?”“Somewill.Somewon’t.
I’mnotsurewhichsidewillbeinthemajority.”“Andtheirapprovalisthat
importanttoyou?”“Sure.They’remyfamily,”
sherepliedsimply.“Lifeisawholeloteasierwhenthey’re
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onyourside.”“I’veheardenoughabout
Micktoimaginehemustbeaforcetobereckonedwith,”Samconceded.“Stubbornandopinionated
areacoupleofwordsthatusuallycometomind.”Shemethisgaze.“Whichremindsme,Iwasprobablyremissinnotswearingyoutosecrecy,too.”Samlaughed.“Alittlelate
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now,don’tyouthink?IthinkmaybeIlikehavingsomethingtoholdoveryourhead.”“You’dblackmailme?”“I’mbeginningtothinkI’d
befoolishnotto,”hesaid.“Thisincredibleopportunityjustfellintomylap.”Sheshookherheadathis
teasing.“Okay,what’sitgoingtobe?Youalreadyhavemygreat-grandmother
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teachingyoutocook,thankstome,andnowI’mprovidingdaycareforBobby.That’saprettygooddeal,ifyouaskme.”“It’sanexcellentdeal,but
I’mthinkingtherecouldbeonemorething,”hesaid,notsurewhyhewasheadinginthisdirectiondespiteallofhisreservationsabouttiming,andevenaboutCarrieherself.Hejustknewhefeltbetter
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whenhewasaroundher,happierandmoreincontrolofthings.“Havedinnerwithme.”Hereyeswidenedwith
shock.“You’reblackmailingmeintogoingonadatewithyou?”“I’maskingyoutogoona
date,”hecorrected.“Keepingyoursecretisjustatinyincentiveforyoutoconsidersayingyes.”
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Shelaughed.“AndifIsayno?”Heshrugged.“Iguess
we’llseewhatsortofarisktakeryouare.”Evenasheutteredthe
taunt,Samwasn’tsurewhichanswerhereallywanted.He’dalwaysbeendrawntodaring,adventurouswomen.EverythingheknewaboutCarrietoldhimshefitthatdescription.Butwasthatthe
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sortofwomanheneededinhislifenow?HeandBobbyneededstabilitymorethanjustaboutanything.Hehadafeelingitwouldbeimpossibletofindbothinonewoman.Then,again,hewas
alreadydiscoveringthatCarriewasprettyremarkable.
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10
Micktookhiswife’soffhandcommentaboutCarrieneedingsomeoneinherlifetoheart.He’dbeensofocusedongettinghergroundedandworkingatsomethingthatwouldfulfillher,he’dforgottenaboutthe
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importanceofastrongrelationshipwithsomeonesuitable.AsheandMeganstrolled
homefromthepub,hesensedMeganstudyinghimwithconcern.“What?”heasked,toget
whateverwasonhermindoutintheopen.“You’vebeenawfully
quiet,”shesaid.“Thatusuallymeansyou’reupto
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something.”“I’mrightherewithyou,”
heremindedher.“WhatcouldIpossiblybeupto?”“Idon’tknowandthat
worriesme,”shereplied.“Okay,thetruthisthatI’ve
beenthinkingaboutwhatyousaidearlier,”headmitted.“AboutCarrieneedingsomeoneinherlife.”Alarmimmediatelyfilled
hereyes.“Iwasnot
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suggestingthatyougooutandfindthatsomeone,MickO’Brien!Carriecandothatallonherown.She’saveryresourcefulyoungwoman.”“Isn’tshetheonewho
foundthatMarcperson,whooverworkedherandbrokeherheart?Areyousuggestingherjudgment’sbetterthanmine?”Shechuckled.“I’llgive
youthatone.Icertainlycan’t
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defendMarcReynolds,butCarrielearnedfromtheexperience.She’llbemorediscerningnexttime.”“Meggie,Iloveyoufor
havingfaithinourgranddaughter,butIwasn’tblindtothefactthatshedatedeverymanwhocrossedherpathallthroughcollege.”“Andhadsenseenoughnot
tochooseonewhowaswrongforher,”Meganreminded
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him.“Anoldexpressioncomestomind,somethingabouthavingtokissalotoffrogsbeforefindingaprince.”“Idon’twantourgirl
kissinganyblastedfrogs,”Mickgrumbled.“Darling,it’sametaphor.”“Whatever.Thiswillgo
betterifIgivethingsalittlepush.Now,whodoweknowwho’savailable?”
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Astheyapproachedthetowngreen,henoticedthatMeganwasnolongerlisteningtohim.HefollowedthedirectionofhergazeandspottedCarriewithayoungmanand,apparently,aboywho’dclimbedtothetopofthejunglegym.Sheandthemanwerelaughingandapplaudingtheboy’sachievement.“Who’sthat?”Mick
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demanded,studyingthesceneintentlyandtryingtoassessanypotentialthere.Wasthemanamarriedacquaintanceoranavailablesingledad?“I’mnot100percentsure,”
Meganequivocated.Mickfrownedather.“Who
doyouthinkitis?”heaskedwithconsiderablepatience.Sometimesitrequiredingenuityandatrainedprosecutor’sskillstogethis
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wifetorevealanythingshewantedtokeeptoherself.Thisappearedtobeoneofthosetimes.“I’veheardthattheyoung
manMackhiredasawebdesigneratthepaperjusttookcustodyofhisnephew.I’mguessingthat’shim.SamWinslow,Ibelieve.”Relievedtoknowthatthe
manwasemployedbyafamilymemberandlikely
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bothsingleandresponsibleenoughtobegivencustodyofachild,Mickeagerlyturnedtoheadinthatdirection.“Let’sgooverthereandsayhello,”hesuggested,onlytohavehiswifetakeafirmgriponhisarm.“Notonyourlife.They’re
obviouslyenjoyingthemselves,andthat’sthegoalyouhadinmind,right?Leavethemalone.Letnature
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takeitscourse.”“Sometimesnaturetakes
toodarnlong,”Micksaid,buthedidallowhimselftobepersuadedtotakethelongwayaroundthegreenenroutehomeinordertokeepthepeacewithhiswife.Tomorrow,hevowed,he’d
doalittleinvestigatinganddetermineifthisyoungmanwastherightsortforhispreciousgranddaughter.After
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all,notjustanyonewoulddo.
***
Carriefeltasifshe’dbeenfrozeninplaceforasolidtenminutes.Firstthere’dbeenSam’sunexpecteddarethatshegoonarealdatewithhim.Whileshewasstillabsorbingthatanddecidinghowtoanswer,shesawhergrandfatherandfully
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expectedhimtochargerightonoverandstartinterrogatingSamabouthisintentions.GrandpaMickwasnotknownforhisdiscretion,hissubtletyorhistiming.Theonemanshe’drisked
bringinghomefromcollegehadbeenreducedtostutteringonceMickgotstarted.Despiteanimpeccablebackground,apathtoalawpartnershipinhisfather’s
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veryrespectableNewYorklawfirm,poorNathanhadn’tbeenabletowithstandMick’scross-examination.Carriehadconcludedthatdidn’tbodewellforhiscareerinacourtroomorfortheirrelationship.Anymanwhocouldn’tholdhisownwithGrandpaMickwasdoomed.Surprisingly,shewasn’tquitereadytoputSamthroughthattest.
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“Carrie?”Sam’squestioningtone
snappedherattentionrightbacktohim.“Sorry.Ijustsawmygrandparents.”Hegrinned.“Andwhat?It
requiredallyourconcentrationtowillthemnottocomeoverhere?”Shelaughed.“You’re
amazinglyperceptive.Seehowwellitworked?They’vealreadymovedon.”
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“Whichraisesthequestionofwhyyoudidn’twantthemtomeetme,”hesaid.“OramImisinterpreting?”“Oh,no,yougotitexactly
right.Well,notaboutthemmeetingyou.Theotherwayaround.”Shesighed.“It’scomplicated.It’snotthatIdon’twantyoutomeetthemever,justnotyet.”“Because?”“Let’sjustsaythatonce
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GrandpaMickgetsanideainhishead,hetendstorunwithit,andthatincludesrunningroughshodoveranyoneinhispath.Neitherofusneedsthatsortofpressure.”“Sohe’sameddler,”Sam
concluded.“Andamaster
manipulator,”sheconfirmed.“Muchtomydismay,I’mhiscurrentproject.Idon’tthinkyouneedtogettangledupin
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whateverplanshedecidestopursueforme.”Amusementdancedin
Sam’seyes,buthesaidverysolemnly,“Okay,then.I’llwatchmystepifwehappentocrosspaths.”“Oh,you’llcrosspaths,”
shesaidwithregret.“Ipredicthe’llhavefiguredoutwhoyouarewithinthehourifhedoesn’tknowalready,andyou’llfindhimwaiting
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onthedoorstepatthepaperfirstthingtomorrowmorning.”Samlaughed.“Thenit’sa
goodthingIdon’tgointillten.Mackcandealwithhim.”Heheldhergaze.“Now,youandIhavesomebusinesstoconclude.Wheredowestandondinner?”“Thethreeofus,you,me
andBobby?”shehedged,tryingalittlemanipulationof
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herown.“Nope.Arealdate,the
wayitwasmeanttobe,justtwopeoplegettingtoknoweachother.Fridaynight.I’llmakearrangementsforBobby.”Astemptedasshewas,
CarriethoughtitwastoosoonforSamtobeabandoningBobbytosomeanonymoussitter.Itwastheperfectexcuse,sosheseizedonit.
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“Sam,you’veseenthewayBobbykeepsyouinsightnomatterwhathe’sdoing.Maybeafterhe’sstartedschoolandreallysettledinhere,he’llbereadyforyoutogooutandleavehimwithasitter.Butnow?”Sheshookherhead.“Ithinkit’sabadidea.”Henoddedslowly.“So,
justtobeclear,you’resayingnobecauseofBobby,not
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becauseyou’renotinterestedorbecauseyou’veconcludedI’manirresponsiblejerk?”Shedrewinadeepbreath
andexaminedhermotives,thennodded.“It’sjustaboutBobby.And,again,Ireallyamsorryaboutjumpingtoconclusionsaboutyou.You’vegivenmereasontorevisemyfirstimpression.”“Okay,then,ifwe’repast
thatparticularhurdle,how
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aboutthis?OnFridaynightthethreeofuswillgooutforpizzaandtwoweeksafterthat,whenschool’sstartedandBobby’sreadytospendsometimewithafriend,youandIcangoonarealdate,justthetwoofus.”“You’reonlygivinghim
twoweekstoadjust?”shesaid,unabletokeepanoteofpanicoutofhervoice.Sherealizedthatpanichad
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nothingtodowithBobbyandeverythingtodowithher.Samapparentlysawthat,
too.“Doyouneedlongertoadjusttotheideaofadatewithme?”hetaunted.“Couldbe,”sheconceded
honestly.“ButIreallyamthinkingaboutallthechangesinBobby’slife.Hisadjustmentmaynothappenonsomeprecisetimetable.Whydon’twejustagreeto
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playitbyear?”“Onlyifyouagreethat
we’llseeeachotherintheinterimdoingthingsBobbycando,too.”Carriefoundhis
determinationflattering,butshewasn’tquitereadytogivein.Indaysgoneby,playinghardtogetwouldhavebeenpartofsomestrategy,butwithSam?Itwaspanic,noquestionaboutit.
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“I’vealreadysaidI’dcometoaT-ballgame,”sheremindedhim.“Andwe’reallgoingtoGram’sonSaturdays,too.I’llseeyoutomorrowwhenIbringBobbyhome.”Samfrowned.“Speaking
ofthat,Iusuallywindupattheofficetillatleastnineortenatnightgettingthelatesteditionuponline.You’llhavetobringhimtotheoffice.”
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“Wherehe’llbeboredtotears,hungryandpesteringyouthewholetime?”sheobjected.“Thatwillbefunforbothofyou.No.I’lltakehimtotheinn,seethathegetsdinnerandhangouttillyougetthere.Ifhegoestosleep,Jesscankeepmecompany.”“That’stoomuch,”Sam
protested.“Idon’texpectyoutomakeacareerof
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babysittinghim.”“Butthat’sexactlythe
careerI’mthinkingofpursuing,”sheremindedhim.“Considerthispartofmyprofessionaltraining.”“Thenyoushouldget
paid.”“Notachance.Thisisjust
afriendlygesture.IfIdoopenadaycareandBobbyneedsaplacetocomeafterschoolatsomepoint,thenwe
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cantalkaboutfeesandsuch.”Samdidn’tlookallthat
happyaboutthearrangement.“Areyousure?Idon’twanttotakeadvantageofyou.”“You’renot,”sheassured
him.“Ioffered.”Forjustaninstantshehadaflashbacktoallthetimesshe’dsaidmuchthesamethingtoMarc,jumpingintotakecareofthingsthatweren’therresponsibilityanddoingitto
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pleasehim.Thedifferencenow,shetoldherself,wasthatthispleasedher.IfitbailedSamoutofajam,somuchthebetter.Afterstudyingherasifto
assesshersincerity,Samnodded.“ThenIoweyouawholelotmorethanpizza.”“Youcangivemealovely
quotethatIcanuseinmyadvertisingwhenthetimecomes,”sheteased.“Oryou
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candesignmywebsiteandonlineadvertising.Ifyou’regoodenoughthatMacktrustsyouwithhispreciouspaper,that’llbegreatforme.NowI’dbettergetmoving.Ihavetobeupatfive.”Sam’sgazenarrowed.
“WhattimedoyouneedBobbytobeready?”“Five-thirty,”shesaid
brightly.“Didn’tImentionthat?You’llbeabletogeta
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nice,earlystartonyourday,too.Infact,youjustmightgettothepaperintimetocrosspathswithGrandpaMick,afterall.Isn’tthatsomethingfuntolookforwardto?”Hegroaned.“Andjust
whenIwasstartingtohaveallthesewarmandfuzzythoughtsaboutyou,Idiscoverthatyouhaveaslightlytwistedstreak.”
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“That’sonlywhenitcomestotheadultsinmylife.Bobby’sperfectlysafe.”Samgaveheralonglook,
hislipscurvingslightly.“Neverdoubtedthatforaminute.”
***
Aftersendingastill-sleepyBobbyoffwithCarriejustbeforedawn,Samwentdown
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totheinn’skitchentobegthebiggesttake-outcupofcoffeetobehad,thenheadedtothenewspaperoffice.Thewalkthroughthequiet
streetsofChesapeakeShoreswiththesunjustbeginningtostreaktheskyintheeastoverthebaywithbrilliantsplashesofpinkandorangewassurprisinglyinvigorating.Samthoughtitmightevenbeworthgettingupatthishour
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moreoften,thoughhedoubtedhe’ddoit.He’dbeenanightpersonmostofhislifeanditwasprobablyalittlelatetoadjusthisbody’sclocknow.Asearlyasitwas,hefound
Mackattheofficebeforehim.Macklookedupfromhiscomputerscreenwithshock.“Iwasn’texpectingyoufor
afewhours.”
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“Iwasup.IhadtogetBobbyreadytospendthedaywithCarrie,”hesaid,censoringhimselfquicklytokeepfromspillingthebeansabouttheday-carevolunteerworkshewasdoing.“CarriegotBobbyatthe
crackofdawn?Thathastobeafirst.She’sanightowl.”Samshrugged.“Theyhave
plans.”Mackregardedhimwith
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suspicion.“CarrieandBobbyhaveplans?”“WhatcanIsay?Itworked
outforme,soIdidn’taskalotofquestions.”“They’renotgettingtoo
attached,arethey?”Mackasked.Samfrowned.“Noidea
whatyoumean.”Hehelduphiscoffeecup.“IneedalotmoreofthisbeforeIstartdelvingintomotivations.
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Whydon’tyoufillmeinonthelogofstoriesforthisweek’sedition?IhavesomeideasforahomepageredesignIwanttorunbyyou,somethingthatwillmakeitevenmoreuser-friendly.”Macklookedasifhe
wantedtoprotest,butinsteadheletthesubjectdrop.“BeforeIgetintothat,thereisonethingIshouldprobablyaskyou.”
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“Aslongasitdoesn’tinvolvedeepthought,shoot.”“Susie’sbeenwondering
whyyouhaven’tcalledaboutlookingathouses.”“BecauseItookyour
adviceanddecidedtospendalotoftimewithBobbyhelpinghimtogetacclimated.Iknowweneedtogetoutoftheinnandintoourownplace.I’llhavemoretimetolookoncehe’sstarted
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school.”Macknodded.“Shewas
justworriedmaybeyou’ddecidedtostayattheinnormaybeevenuseanotherRealtor.”“NootherRealtor.I
wouldn’tdothattoher,”Samassuredhim.“TellherI’llbeintouchassoonasschoolstarts.Ireallyamanxioustoseewhatshe’scomeupwith.”
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“Willdo,”Macksaid,lookingsatisfied.Hehandedoveraprintout.“Thesearethenewsstoriesforthisweek.Youcanseetheleadrightthereontop.Therearethreefeatures,too.Acoupleofimportantmeetingsarecomingupintownafterourprintdeadline,butIwantyoutogetthecoverageofthoseuponlineassoonasthestoriesarewritten.I’lldo
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thosemyself.”“Photos?”Mackturnedthecomputer
screeninhisdirection,madeafewclicksonhiskeypad,andadozenpicturescameup.“Isortedthroughalotmoreandnarroweditdowntothese.I’llusesomeintheprintedition,butthejoyoftheonlineeditionisthatyoucanuseallofthem,especiallytheshotsthatshowcasealot
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oflocals.Theyeatthatup.”“Gotit,”Samsaid.
“EveryoneID’dokay?Imaynotrecognizefacesjustyet.”“Ithinkso,butanyone
you’renotcertainabout,ask.”“Okay,then.I’monit.”Hewasabouttotakehis
coffeeacrosstheroomtohisowndeskwhenthedooropenedandMickO’Brienwalkedin.So,hethought,
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Carriehadnailedit.Samhadtoturnawaytohideasmile.Mackmadethe
introductions,thenlookedatMickexpectantly.“Whatbringsyoubyatthishour?Ihopeyou’reheretotakeoutabigfull-pagead.”Micklaughed.“Forwhat?
Haven’tyouheard?I’mretired.”“That’snotwhatIhear
fromtheguyswhoworkfor
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yourcompany,”Mackresponded.“Hasmynephewbeen
grumblingagainaboutbeingoverworked?”Mickaskedwithoutrancor.“Matthewdoesn’tknowhoweasyI’vebeenonhim,onallofthem,nowthatI’vemellowedout.”“So,ifyou’renothereto
advertisesomething,whatdoesbringyouby?”Mackasked.
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“IwashopingtocatchSamifhehasacoupleofminutes,”Micksaid.Clearlysurprised,Mack
lookedfromMicktoSam,thenchuckled.“Surething.”Samheadedforhisdesk,
thengesturedtowardthechairbesideit.“Haveaseat.Idon’thavealotoftime.We’reondeadlinetoday.”“Thiswon’ttakelong,”
Micksaid,sittingdownand
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takinghistimestudyingSam.“YouknowmygranddaughterCarrie?”“Ido,”hesaidsolemnly.“Wonderfulgirl,”Mick
said.“Idon’tknowherwell,but
I’msuresheis.”“Isawthetwoofyou
togetherlastnight.Theboywithyou,that’syournephew?”“Bobby,yes.Ijustgained
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fullcustodyofhimafterhisparentsdied.”Seeminglygenuinedismay
registeredonMick’sface.“Terriblethingtolosebothparentslikethat.He’sluckytohaveyou.”“Iguesswe’llseeabout
that,”Samsaid.“ButI’mgoingtotrymybest.”“Can’taskmorethanthat.”“Sir,ifthere’snothingelse
onyourmind,Ireallydo
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needtogettowork.Bobby’swithCarrierightnow,andIneedtogetmyjobdone,soIcantakeoveragain.”Sowhatifthetimelineforthatwasn’tastightashewasimplying.Micknodded.“I
understandallaboutworktakingpriority,butapieceofadvicefromamanwhogothisownprioritiesalloutofwhack.Family’swhatcounts.”
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“I’lltakethattoheart,”Sampromised.Mickheldhisgazefora
longtime,thengavealittlenodthatSamcouldn’tinterpret.Hehadn’tknownMicklongenoughtoconcludeiftheinterviewhadgonewellorifhe’dfailedmiserably.Hesupposedtimewouldtell.TimewouldalsotellifMickO’Brien’sapprovalwasnecessaryif
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SamwastohaveanyhopeofgettinganyclosertoCarrie.Rightnowthatmightnotmatter,buthehadahunchthingswereheadinginthatdirectionalittlefasterthanhe’doriginallyanticipated.
***
Attheday-carecenterBobbyhadshadowedCarrie’severymoveuntilLucyfinally
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intercededandmanagedtogethimtoplayagamewithseveralotherchildren.AliciadrewCarrieaside.“That’stheboyyouwere
soconcernedaboutlastweek?”sheaskedwithanodinBobby’sdirection.“Yes,”Carrieconfirmed.“Andnowhe’sattached
himselftoyou?”“I’mtheonlypersonhe
knowshere.Samwasina
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bindtodayandJuliesaidIcouldbringBobbywithmewhenI’mhere,atleastuntilhestartsschool.”ShefrownedatthelookofconcernonAlicia’sface.“Istheresomethingwrong?”“Yousaidhe’dlostboth
parents.ObviouslySamisfillinginforhisdadthesedays,butwhataboutyou?Areyoureadytotaketheplaceofhismom?”
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“No,ofcoursenot.I’mafriend.Barelyeventhat.”“Bobbydoesn’tseemto
feelthatway.He’slookingforreplacements,Carrie.Unlessyou’rereadytostepintothatrole,becarefulhowyouhandlethings.WebothknowI’mnotanexpert,butIcanseehowattachedheisalready.”“He’sawonderfullittle
boy,”Carriesaid.“I’mjust
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tryingtohelpoutinatoughsituation.”“Bestintentionsinthe
world,”Aliciaagreed.“Butasix-year-old...”Shehesitated.“Isthatright?He’ssix?”Carrienodded.“He’sgoingtogravitate
towardthefirstpersonwhocanfillthathugevoidthat’sbeenleftinhislife.”“Idon’tknowhowto
handlethisanyotherway,”
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Carriereplied,frustrated.“Heneedstoknowtherearepeoplewhocareabouthim.”“Thenmakesurethereare
lotsofthem,”Aliciaadvised.“Notjustyou.”Carriecouldseeherpoint,
whichmeantthatthesoonerthereweremorelovingadultssurroundingBobbyandherroleinhislifewasminimized,thebetter.Italsomeantthoseplansshe’dmade
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thenightbeforewithSamshouldprobablybeputonholdfornow.Creatinganongoingthreesomemightsuggestsomethingcompletelyunintendedtoalittleboylookingdesperatelyforafamily.Shetriedtellingherselfthe
disappointmentthatwashedoverherwasallaboutnotspendingmoretimearoundabright,inquisitivelittleboy,
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butitwastheimageofhisgrown-upunclethatshecouldn’tseemtogetoutofherhead.
***
SamhadleftwordwithJessthatshecouldletCarrieintohissuitewhenshearrivedwithBobby.NotthatCarriecouldn’thavepersuadedheraunttoletherin,butwhy
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shouldshebebotheredwiththehassle?He’dhopedtobeableto
jointhemintimefordinner,giventheearlystarthe’dgotteninthemorning,butonecrisisafteranotherwiththeirinternetserverhadmadethatimpossible.Ateight,hecalledCarrie’scellphone.“I’msosorry.IthoughtI’d
betherebynowtohavedessertwithyouoratleastto
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takeover,butweseemtobeinaholdingpatternhere.”“Notaproblem,”Carrie
assuredhim.“Bobby’shaddinner,takenhisbathandiswatchingavideo.What’shisbedtime?”“Iaimfornine,butwe
sometimesgetdistracted,”Samsaid,thinkingofhowoftenthathadactuallyhappened.Ninehadbeenaprettyunrealisticgoal
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apparently.Shelaughed.“I’llmake
surewe’renotdistracted.Heshouldbeinthatroutinebythetimeschoolstarts,anyway.”“You’reright,”Samsaid.
“TellhimI’lltrytobethereintimetoreadhimastory.”“He’salreadypickedout
tonight’sbook—orfivebasedonthepileheshowedme.I’llfillin,ifneedbe,thoughIbet
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youdobettervoicesthanIcan.”“He’snotanespecially
toughcritic,”Samsaid.“ButIwilltrytomakeit.Seeyouinanhour.”Heactuallycamecloseto
makingit,too.Itwas9:45whenhewalkedintothesuitecarryingapizzaandabottleofwine.HeregardedCarrieapologetically.“He’salreadyasleep?”
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“Outlikealight.Hehadabigdayattheday-carecenter.HewasyawningbythetimeIgotoffthephonewithyouandasleeptwopagesintohisfirststory.”“Idon’tknowhowtothank
you.Thiswaswayaboveandbeyond.”“Nothanksnecessary.We
hadfun,”sherepliedsimply.“Hereallyisagreatkid.”“Well,Iwon’tstart
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dependingonyoutofillin,”hepromised.“Sam,it’snotabigdeal.If
IhaveJackson,hecanhangoutwithus.OnthedaysI’matthecenter,IalreadyhaveJulie’spermissiontobringhimalong.Hewasgreatwiththeotherkidstoday.Everybodylovedhim.”“Okay,then.WhenI’min
abind,I’llcheckwithyou,”Samsaid.“Now,then,are
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youhungry?Canyoustayforawhileandsharethepizzaandwine?”Shehesitatedfora
surprisinglylongtime.“Carrie?What’sgoingon?
It’spizzaandwine,notalifetimecommitment.”“It’ssomethingsomeoneat
thecentersaidtoday,”shetoldhim.“TheythoughtBobbymightbegettingtooattachedtome.Wealready
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knowyou’rehislifeline.Ican’tbeone,too.YouandI...well,wehardlyevenknoweachother.Bobby’semotionsareprettyprecariousrightnow.Wedon’twanthimtogetanyideasabouthowI’mgoingtofitintohisnewworld.”Samsetdownthepizza
andwineandcrossedtheroom.Herestedhishandsonhershouldersandlookedinto
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hertroubledeyes.“Thefactthatyoucaresodarnedmuchisproofofhowspecialyouare.It’sthereasonI’dliketogettoknowyoubetter.”“HowamIsupposedto
trustthat?”sheasked.“You’reinadifficultsituation.I’mableandwillingtohelpout.Don’tyouseehowtangledupthatcouldget?AddinthepossibilitythatBobbycouldgethurtand
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it’stoobigarisk.”Sam’sheartsank.“So,
you’renotonlysayingnotopizzaandwinetonight,butnextweekandbeyond,isthatright?”Shenodded.“Ithinkthat’s
forthebest.I’llstillcometohisT-ballgameonSaturdayandI’llbeatGram’sforourcookinglesson,butyoushouldprobablymakesurehegetstoknowlotsofother
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peoplerightnow,sohedoesn’tgetoverlyattachedtomeoranyoneelse.”“You’vereallythought
aboutthis,haven’tyou?”“Eversinceitwasbrought
tomyattentionthatthesituationmightnotbehealthy.”“ForBobby?”hesaid,
wonderingyetagainifhisnephewwastheonlyoneshedidn’twanttoriskgetting
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hurt.“Ofcourse.”Samdidn’tconsider
himselftobeallthatintuitivewhenitcametowomen,butthissituationwasplainasdayeventohim.“Somebodydidarealnumberonyou,didn’tthey?”Sheimmediatelylookedso
flustered,Samknewhe’dgottenitexactlyright.“Whathappened,Carrie?”
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“Itdoesn’tmatter.”“Ithinkitdoes.It’snotthat
Idon’tbelieveyou’reconcernedforBobby.Iknowyouare.Butyou’vebeentakenadvantageofbysomeoneandthissituationisbringingupbadmemories.”“Maybe,”shefinally
admitted.“Inaway.Butthesituationsarenothingalike,honestly.Andbelieveme,youarenothinglikeMarc
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Reynolds.”Samregardedherwith
shock.Hedidn’tknowalotaboutfashion,butheknewthatname.Themanhadarichtabloidhistorywithseveralofhistopmodels.“Hewasyourlastrelationship?”Sheshrugged.“Ifyou
couldcallitthat.Look,it’smessyandit’snotoneofmyfinermoments.Canweleave
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itatthat?”Discussingitobviously
broughtbackpainfulmemories.Samquicklyrealizedthismightnotbethetimetoprobefordetails.“Sure,”hesaid.“I’msorry,Carrie.Imaynotknowwhathappened,butI’dbewillingtolayoddsyoudidn’tdeserveit.”Shesmiledathis
vehemence.“Thanksforthat.
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I’dbettergo.”“You’reherenow,”he
protested.“Bobby’sasleep.Ihateeatingalone.Stickaroundforoneglassofwineandkeepmecompany.Canyoudothat?”Foramomentshelooked
torn,butthenhergazewasdrawntothepizzabox.“Whatkind?”“Veggie,”hesaid.Asmilebrokeacrossher
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face.“Youwin!”shesaid,throwingopentheboxandtakingaslice,thencurlingintoacornerofthesofa.Samgrinned.“Make
yourselfathome,whydon’tyou?”“WhatcanIsay?Imade
Bobbyeatahealthydinnerdownstairs,butitwasprettydarnboring.This,however,isthefoodofthegods.Pizzalikethismayormaynotbe
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trulyItalian,butI’mgivingthemcreditformakingthefoodworldabetterplace.”Samlaughed,satbeside
herandpouredthewine,thentookhisownslice.“Amentothat!Askanyunattachedmaleovereighteenwholivesonhisownandit’sprobablypizzathatkeepsusalive.”Carrieheldouther
wineglassandtappedittohis.Sammethergazeandheldit.
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Awickedcurrentofelectricitysparkedbetweenthem.Nomatterwhatshe’dsaidearlier,nomatterhowwiseherdecision,thisthingbetweenthemwasn’tover.Itwasjusttemporarilyonhold.
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11
CarriewasshakenbyhowintensethingshadgottenwithSamthenightbefore.Thatonelong,sizzlinglookevenaftershe’ddeclaredwhatabadideaitwasforthemtospendtimetogetherhadtoldherthatshewascrazyifshe
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thoughtabunchofwordsandgoodintentionsweregoingtokeepthemapart.Shehadtotry,though.ForBobby’ssakeand,asSamhadguessed,herown.She’dmadeonetrulyterriblejudgmentaboutamanandithadtornheremotionallifeapart.Shewasn’tquitereadytotrustherselfagain.Anditwasn’tasifSam
hadn’tgivenhercauseforconcern.Lookhowbadly
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he’dbungledthingswithBobbywhenthey’dfirstmet.Sure,therewereextenuatingcircumstancesandheseemedtohavelearnedfromthosemistakes,butoneofthethingsshewantedmostdesperatelywasamanwho’dbeagreatdad.Herssurehadn’tfitthebill.
WesWintershadbeencontrollingandhaddemonstratedthemoralsof
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analleycatwhenhe’dgotteninvolvedwithoneofhermom’scoworkers.SincethedivorceandtheirmovetoChesapeakeShores,he’dbeenmostlyanabsenteefather,rarelyputtinginanappearanceevenonbigoccasionssuchasCait’swedding.He’dsentanextravagantgiftandalameexcuseforhisabsence.Herstepfather,though,was
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somethingelse.Tracehadbeenaloving,warm,thoughtfulpresenceinherlifeandCait’sfromtheminutehe’dstartedtryingtowinbackhermom.He’dbeentough,butfair,alotlikeGrandpaMick,butwithoutthemeddlinggene.OnWednesdaymorning
withallthosethoughtsstilltumblingaroundinherhead,CarriewasatSally’sfor
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coffeeintimetocatchupwithShanna,BreeandHeather.She’darrangedtodotheday-carecenteragainonThursday,buthadkepttodayandFridayopentobabysitJacksonasusual.EventhoughtheoffertobringhimalonghadbeenmadebyJulie,CarriethoughttheearlyhourwouldbetoohardonthebabyandonNoah,whohadpreciouslittletimewithhis
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sonasitwas.Theirearly-morningritual,evenwhenitincludedgobsofsmearedcereal,mattered.“Wherehaveyoubeenthe
pastcoupleofmornings?”Breeasked.“Iwasbusy,”Carriesaid
evasively.“Notjustsleepinginafter
latenightswithyou-know-who?”Shannataunted.Bree’seyeslitup.“Ifthat
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werethecase,thenthismorningwouldn’thavebeenanexception,”shesaid,clearlydelightedthatShannahadbrokentheiceandopenedupthisparticulartopic.“Ihaveitongoodauthority,shewasattheinntillallhourslastnight.”Carriebarelycontaineda
groan.“NotthatI’msurprised,sinceAuntJesshasneverbeenonetokeepa
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tidbitofgossiptoherself,butdidshealsohappentomentionIwastherebabysittingBobbywhileSamwasondeadlineatthepaper?”“Tillaftermidnight?”her
auntBreeretortedwithundisguisedskepticism.“JakewaspickingupapizzaforalatesnackafterhefinishedabiglandscapingjobandhehappenedtorunintoSamat
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thepizzaplace.So,IknowSamgotbacktotheinnbeforeten.Yourcarwasinthelottillmuch,muchlater.”Thisfinalrevelationwasmadewithacertaindegreeoftriumphinhervoice.Carriesighed.“Ireally
needtoreevaluatewhetherIcanstandtoliveinChesapeakeShores.”Thoughthecommenthad
comeoutimpulsively,she
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couldn’thavechosenherthreatmorecarefully.Allthreewomenimmediatelylookedalarmed.“We’llcutitout—I
promise,”Shannasaidatonce.“Absolutely,”Breechimed
in.“Idon’twantmysisteronmycaseforchasingoffherdaughter.Abby’supsetenoughthatCaitlyn’sstilllivinginBaltimore,even
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thoughNoahandtheirbabyarehere.”“Thenletthatbealesson
toyou,”Carriescolded,totakeadvantageoftheirmomentarychagrin.“Myrootsherearenotfirmlyplantedinthegroundquiteyet.”“Youboughtahouse,”
Heathersaidtentatively.“Youwanttostay.Youknowyoudo.”
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“Ahousedoesn’tmakealife,”Carrieremindedthem.“AllO’Brienseventuallywanttohaveahomeheretocomebackto,evenforshortvisits.Itwasasmartinvestment.”“Andanindicationofhow
you’releaning.Alltheotherpieceswillfallintoplace,”Breesaidwithcertainty.“Ididn’tknowIwantedtostaywhenIfirstmovedbackfrom
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ChicagoafterthatdisastrousexperienceIhadattheregionaltheater.ButthenIopenedFlowersonMain,JakeandIgotbacktogetherandIopenedthetheater.Thisiswhatmylifewasmeanttobe.”“Itworkedalotlikethat
forallofus.LivinginChesapeakeShoreswasthefirststepintoourfutures,”Shannasaid,thenaddedwith
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confidence,“That’swhatitisforyou,too,Carrie.”“Andnowwe’reofficially
droppingthesubject,”Breesaid.Theothertwonodded,
thoughHeathergaveCarrieahopefullook.“Unlessthere’ssomethingyouwantedtotellusaboutyouandSam.”“Incorrigible!”Carrie
decreed,laughing.“Allofyou.”
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“Onlybecauseweloveyouandwantyoutobehappy,”Shannainsisted.“We’renotjustnosy,honestly.”“Andnowyousoundlike
GrandpaMick,”Carriesaidwithanexaggeratedshudder.Thethreewomen
exchangedlooks,thenshudderedthemselves.“That’sit.Message
received,”Breedeclared.“Let’smoveontoSusie.
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Haveanyofyouseenher?”“Notsincetheadoption
fiasco,”Heathersaid.“Iknowshe’sworkingagain,butshe’sobviouslyavoidingus.”“I’vecalled,”Shannasaid.
“IevenpokedmyheadintheofficeonMonday,butshepickedupthephoneandwavedmeoff.”“Notunusual,”Breesaid.
“She’sprettyfocusedwhenit
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comestowork.”“Ah,butthat’sthething,”
Shannasaid.“Thephonehadn’trung.”“Oh,dear,”Carriesaid.
“She’sshuttingeveryoneout.Thatcan’tbegood.”“Ihaveonethought,”
Shannasaid.“We’redueforabook-clubmeetingandit’sherturntohostit.Icanremindherofthatandseehowshefeelsaboutit.Maybe
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ifIapproachherandtheconversation’snotaboutherandhowshe’sfeeling,she’llrelaxandletusbackin.”“It’sworthashot,”Bree
said.“Somebodyneedstodosomething.GramwasbesideherselfwhenSusieandMackskippedSundaydinneragainthisweek.Idon’tlikeseeingherupset.”“Me,either,”Shannasaid.
“ThoughI’veneverknown
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Nelltositonthesidelinesforlong.She’llbeonSusie’sdoorstepanydaynow,ifshehasn’tbeenalready.”“Nodoubtaboutit,”Carrie
said.“I’lltrytogetGramtoholdoffanotherweek,ifyou’llseeifyoucangetthisbook-clubmeetingorganized.”“Done,”theothersagreed,
practicallyinunison.“Okay,then,ifwe’reallin
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agreement,I’dbetterheadtotheflowershop,”Breesaid.“Jake’sbringingmyorderinearly.”Shegrinnedwickedly.“IfI’mlucky,wecanmakeoutinthebackroomforacoupleofminutes.”Heatherlaughed.“Wemay
betheluckiestwomenintheworld.”“Howso?”Carrieasked,
curiousbecauseitdidseemtoherthattheywere.She
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couldn’thelpwonderingwhattheirsecretwas.“We’reallmarriedtomen
westillthinkarehot,”Heatherreplied.“Betteryet,theycan’tkeeptheirhandsoffus,either.”Carrieslappedherhands
overherears.“Toomuchinformation!”sheprotestedeventhoughshewastheonewho’daskedfortheinsight.“Notso,”Breesaid.
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“We’resettingagoodexampleforyou.Whenyoufindtheguywhomakesyoufeellikethatyou’llknowhe’stherightone.”AnimageofSamandthat
sizzlingmomentthey’dsharedthenightbeforeimmediatelycametomind.Shecouldsayitwasabadideafromnowtilldoomsday,butshewashavingmoreandmoretroublebelievingit.
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***
MackstoppedbytherealestatemanagementofficetotrytolureSusietolunchandfoundherwithShanna.“Comeon,Susie.
Tomorrow’sbook-clubnightandit’syourturn.Pleasedon’tbackout.We’vebeenmissingyoulikecrazyatSally’sinthemorning.Wewanttocatchup.”
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Susieopenedhermouth,abouttodeclineagainifMackknewanythingatallabouthiswife,butShannakeptrightontalkingoverher.“Youwon’thavetodoathing,”shepromised.“We’llbringthefood,thedrinks,allofit.We’llevencleanup.”“Soundslikeagreatdeal,”
Macksaid,watchinghiswifeclosely.Susiebarelysparedhima
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glancebeforeshakingherhead.“I’mnotreadyforagirls’night.AndIhaven’tevenreadthebook.”Shannagrinned.“When
hasthatevermatteredtoanyoneexceptme?HalfthetimeI’mtheonlyonewho’sreadit.YouknowthisisjustanexcuseforalltheO’Brienwomentogettogether.”Mackkeptsilent,praying
thatSusiewouldbreakdown
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andsayyes.Sheneededherfriends,whethershewantedtoadmititornot.“Okay,”shesaidatlast.
“ButnotonewordaboutwhathappenedtoMackandme,okay?Ican’ttalkaboutnotgettingthebaby.”“Promise,”Shannasaid.
“I’dbettergetbacktothestore.I’mtraininganewsalesclerkandshepanicsifwehavemorethanone
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customeratatime.Seeyoutomorrowatseven.Don’tliftafinger.We’lldoeverything.”Susienodded,thoughshe
stilldidn’tlookespeciallyhappyaboutagreeingtoit.WhenShannahadgone,
Macktookherplacebesidehiswife’sdesk.“Thatshouldbefun.Youneedtospendsometimewiththegirls.”Shegavehimawrylook.
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“Soyou’refreetoplayhoopswiththeguys?Don’tthinkIhaven’tnoticedhowcloselyyou’vebeenstickingtohome.”“It’snotasifspending
timewithmywifeisahugesacrifice,”heresponded.“Infact,Icamebynowtoseeifyouhavetimeforlunch.”“AtSally’s?”sheasked,a
frowninplace.“Unlessyou’dprefer
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someplaceelse.”“Anyplaceelse,”shesaid
fervently.“PaniniBistro,thepizza
place,Brady’s?Yourchoice.”“Home,”shesaidatonce.
“Icanmakesaladsthere.”“Areyousureyou
wouldn’trathergoout?”“Verysure.”“Becauseyoudon’twant
torunintoanyonewhomightaskabouttheadoption?”he
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guessed.Shenodded.“I’dtold
everybodyitwashappening,Mack.Iwassoexcited.NowIjustdon’tknowwhattosay.Ithurtsseeingthepityintheireyes.”Hereachedforherhand.
“I’msosorry,babe.”“It’llgetbettereventually,”
shesaidwithmorehopethanconfidenceinhervoice.“Peoplewillhearwhat
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happened,iftheyhaven’talready,andwillavoidthetopic.”“Theywill,youknow.If
theydon’tdropit,iftheydoask,it’sonlybecauseeveryoneinthistownadoresyou.”“Isuppose.”“BeforeIforget,Samtold
melastnightthathe’llbeintouchaboutlookingathousesassoonasschoolstartsand
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hehasmoretime.He’sbeenspendingmostofhissparetimewithBobby.”Herexpressionbrightened
marginally.“They’redoingokay?”“Itsoundslikeit.Iknow
Carrie’sbeenhelpingout,”hesaid,thencouldhavekickedhimselfwhendismayonceagainwashedoverSusie’sface.“Let’sgohavelunch.Ithinkit’scoolenoughtosit
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ontheporch.”Shenodded,butitwas
clearsomeofthelifehadgoneoutofheragain.Whenshestoodup,Mackdrewherintohisarmsandpressedakisstoherforehead.“Iloveyoumorethan
anything,”hetoldher.“AndIhatethatyou’rehurting.”“I’mtryingtogetpastwhat
happened,Mack.Ireallyam.”
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Mackbelievedher,buttheybothknewthatpainthatdeepsimplydidn’tvanishovernight.
***
Withthemorningoffafterworkinglatethenightbefore,SamboughtBobbyafishingpoleatEthel’sEmporium,thentookhimtothetownpiertoseewhattheycould
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catch.Bobbyeyedthewormswithdistaste.“They’reyucky!”he
declared.Samlaughed.“I’llgrant
youthat,butthefishlovethem.”Heglancedupwithrelief
whenheheardHenry,DaveyandJohnnyapproaching.Shannahadcalledthatmorningandofferedtosendthemalongtohelpwitha
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fishinglesson.“Everyboyinthistown
needstolearntofish,”she’ddeclared.“It’sariteofpassage.ItaughtHenrymyself.Ofcourse,Kevincamealongandimprovedonmylessons.Hedidn’tthinkawoman,especiallyonewhomovedherefromabigcity,couldpossiblyknowanythingaboutdoingitright.”“How’dyoufeelabout
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that?”Samasked,curious.“Oh,hewasright,no
questionaboutit,”Shannaadmitted.“ButtheimportantthingwasHenrygaveitatryandcametoloveit.”Henrytookoverwiththe
youngerboysandSamsettledontoabenchtoenjoythemorning.NotonlydidHenryknowwhathewasdoing,itseemedhehadendlesspatiencewiththekids.
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Davey,ofcourse,needednocoaching.Hecaughthisfirstfishbeforetheothersevenhadthebaitontheirlines.“Nowwethrowhimback,”
Daveysaid.“Butwhy?”Bobbyasked,
clearlyfascinatedwiththefishinDavey’shand.“Becausehe’stoolittleto
eat,”Daveytoldhimsolemnly.“Heshouldhaveachancetogrowup.”
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WhilecatchandreleasewasobviouslyalessoningrainedbyKevin,itdidn’tseemtoresonatewellwithBobby.TearsfilledhiseyesandhecamerunningforSam.“What’swrong?”Sam
asked,atalosstounderstandtheobviouslyheartfeltemotion.“Whatifhecan’tfindhis
mommyanddaddyagain?”hewhisperedtoSam.
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“I’llbetthey’reclosebywaitingforhim,”Samsaid.“That’swhatmomsand
dadsdo,”Daveysaidinhisownattempttobereassuring.ThatonlymadeBobbycry
harder.“Notmine,”hesaidbetweensobs.AllSamcoulddowashold
himclosewhilethetearsflowed.“I’msorry,”Daveysaid,
lookingshaken.“Iforgot
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abouthismomanddad.”“It’sokay,”Samassured
him.“Sometimesitjusthitshim.Maybeweshouldallgoforsomeicecreamandforgetaboutfishingthismorning.”“Soundsgoodtome,”
Henrysaidatonce,takinghiscuefromSam.“Theseguysarealwaysupforicecream,right,Davey?”“Right,”Daveysaidat
once.
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“Bobby?Johnny?Doesthatsoundokaytoyou?”Samprodded.Johnnykepthissolemn
gazetrainedonBobby,asifheunderstoodthatBobbywasthekeytowhethericecreamwasanoption.“Iguess,”Bobbysaidwith
aloudsniff.“CanIhavechocolate?”“Youcanhaveanyflavor
youwant,”Samsaid,
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relieved.“MaybeCarriecould
come?”Bobbysuggested.Samthoughtofher
declarationthattheydonothingthatwouldfeedintoBobby’sgrowingattachmenttoher.“Ithinkshe’soutoftowntoday,pal.Remember?”Bobbylookedpuzzled,but
thenhisexpressionbrightened.“Oh,yeah,theday-careplace.”
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EvenastheinnocentwordsleftBobby’smouth,Samwinced.“Day-careplace?”Henry
echoed,lookingconfused.“What’sthat?”EvenBobbyrealizedhis
mistake.HestaredsheepishlyatSam.“Uh-oh,”hewhispered.“Isshegonnabemadatme?”“Noway,”Samsoothed,
thoughheknewnosuch
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thing.Fornow,though,hehadtododamagecontrol.HeofferedabrightsmileforHenry.“Justaprojectshe’sbeenworkingon.Shedoesn’twantanyonetoknowaboutityet.”Henrystudiedhimwith
thatsolemn,knowingexpressionthatsuggestedhewaswisebeyondhisyears.“Gotit,”hesaidreadily.“Noonewillhearaboutitfrom
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me.”HescowledfiercelyatDavey.“Gotthat?”“Mylipsarezipped,”
Daveyconfirmed.Henrygaveanodof
satisfaction.“We’regood,then.”“Okay.Let’sgetthatice
cream,”Samsaideagerly.Assoonasthekidswere
settledonabenchfacingthebaywiththeircones,hesteppedaside,pulledouthis
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cellandcalledCarrie.Sinceshewasworking,he’danticipatedvoicemail,butshepickedupatonce.“IhopeI’mnotdisturbing
youatwork,”hesaid.“ActuallyI’mathome.I
haveJacksontoday.Iwon’tbegoingtothedaycareagainuntiltomorrow.What’sup?”“JustsomethingIthought
youneededtoknow.”“IsitaboutBobby?Ishe
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okay?”“Hehadalittlemeltdown
earlier,”hesaid,explainingwhathadhappened.“Hewantedmetocallyou.Iremindedhimyouwereworkingtoday—oratleastIthoughtyouwere—andhekindofblurtedoutsomethingabouttheday-carecenter.”“AndHenryandDavey
caughtit?”“Oh,yeah,thoughthey
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havepromisedtokeepwhattheyheardtothemselves.Ijustthoughtyoushouldknowthatyoursecret’snotsosecretanymore.”Shesighedheavily.“I
shouldhaveknownitwouldn’tlast.IguessI’llhavetocomecleanaboutthissooner,ratherthanlater.It’snotasifIdon’tknowalreadythatthisissomethingIwanttopursue.IthinkI’mreadyto
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dobattlewithanyoneinthefamilywhotellsmeI’mcrazyornotthinkingrationallyorwhatever.”“Ican’tsayifthisisthe
rightcareerpathforyouornot,butIdoknowhowgreatyouarewithkids,”Samsaid.“Ifthisissomethingthatyoubelievewillfulfillyou,thenIsaygoforit.”“Couldyouputthatin
writing?MaybeifIhavea
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fewtestimonials,mygrandfatherandmyparentswon’tgoberserk.”“Happytodothat,”Sam
said.“Wanttohaveastrategysessionlater?”“Sam,”sheprotested.“AfterBobby’sinbed,”he
persisted.“Thesuite’sbig.Wedidn’twakehimuptheothernight.I’mverygoodatmakingpro-conlists.”Shelaughed.“Youhaven’t
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metmytwin.Sheisthegrandmasterofthepro-conlist.”“I’llbetIcouldgivehera
runforhermoney.”HethoughtofhowfrequentlyLaurelhadforcedhimtositdownandevaluatedecisionsrationally,whenhe’dwantedtojumpintosomethingimpulsively.He’dhatedherforitatthetime,buttheskillhadstayedwithhim.Shehesitatedforsolong,
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hethoughthe’dlost,buteventuallyshesaid,“Okay.Honestly,Icouldusethehelptoweedouttheemotionalargumentsfromthesound,rationalones.”“ThenI’llmakesure
Bobby’sinbedbynineandasleep.I’llaskJesstosendupsomebrainfoodforsnacks.”Shelaughed.“Whaton
earthwouldthatbe?”“Youknow...healthystuff.
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Almonds.Carrotsticks.Whatever.”“MaybeIshouldbringthe
snacks,”Carriereplied.“AndthelessJessknowsaboutthislittleget-togetherthebetter.Thewholeblastedfamilyapparentlyknewaboutmebeingovertherelastnight.”“Youcouldswearherto
secrecy,”Samsuggested.“It’sdivulgingsecretsto
thewrongpeoplethatgotme
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intothis,”sheretorted.“I’mnottellingmyauntathing.”Helaughed.“Iseeyour
point.”“Sam,thanks.”“Forwhat?Lettingmy
nephewblabyoursecret?”“Forscramblingtomakeit
right,”shecorrected.“Andforofferingtohelpmesortthisout.”“Notaproblem.Seeyou
tonight.”
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HehungupandglancedoveratBobby,whowasnowcoveredwithchocolateicecreamandgigglinghappilyagain.Hewasstartingtoseethatthedifficultmomentsinparentingweresomehowbalancedoutquitenicelywithmomentsjustlikethis.Hehadn’tfeltthisoptimisticinweeks.
***
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EventhoughapartofCarrieverymuchregrettedbeingpushedtorevealherplansmuchsoonerthanshe’dhopedto,shecouldn’thelpfeelingafaintsenseofreliefthatsooneveryonewouldknowandshecouldstartmovingonwithherlife.ShearrivedatSam’switha
grocerybagfilledwithherideaofappropriatesnackfood—chips,guacamoleand
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apintofBen&Jerry’sicecream.Thecombinationwasprettysickeningwhenshereallythoughtaboutit,butit’swhathadappealedtoherwhensheshopped.“Bobbyasleep?”she
asked,hervoicelowwhenSamansweredthedoortohissuite.“Inbedbyeight-thirtyand
asleepafewsentencesintohissecondbook,”Sam
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assuredher,thenpeekedintothebag.Onebrowshotupwhenhegotagoodlookatthecontents.“Seriously?SpicyguacamoleandChunkyMonkey?”“Itseemedlikeagoodidea
atthetime,”shetoldhimblithely.“Well,onething’sforsure,
itoughttokeepuswide-awakeallnight.”“Maybeweshoulddivide
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itup,”shesuggested,rethinkingthewholething.“Dibsontheicecream.”“Thechipsworkforme,”
Samsaidagreeably.Carriepulledhertabletout
ofherpurseandcurledintothesamecornerofthesofawhereshe’dsatonherpreviousvisit.She’dhavetocomplimentJessonherfurniturechoicesoneofthesedays.Thiswasmuchmore
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comfortablethanhersofaathome.“Okay,Mr.Organization,
wheredowestart?”“Pros,”hesaidatonce.
“Let’sbepositive.”“Okay,then,”shesaidand
typedthatshelovedspendingtimewithkidsatthetopofthelist.“AndI’mgoodwiththem,too,”sheadded.“Putthatdown,too.What
else?”
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“I’vebeengettingpracticalexperience,”shesaid.“Maybeit’sonlyafewdayssofar,butit’sbeenthebestthingI’vedoneinalongtime.I’mtrulyhappyattheendoftheday.JuliealreadyagreesIhaveaknackforworkingwithkids,andshe’sbeenatitforyears.”“Howareyouwhenthings
don’tgososmoothly?”“Idon’tgetflusteredor
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impatient,ifthat’swhatyou’reasking.I’mcalminacrisis.”“Anotherplus,”hesaid.“AndI’mgreatwithall
ages.IlovebeingwithJackson,butIthinkI’mprettygoodwiththeolderkids,too.”Samnodded.“Allvalid
reasonswhythiswouldbeagoodfitforyou.Anybusinessreasonsit’sagood
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choice?”“That’seasy.Thetown
needsagooddaycare.There’ssomehelpavailableatoneofthechurches,butit’srunbyvolunteersandtheycan’thandleallthechildrenwhoneedaplacetogo.Jackson’sthereacoupleofdaysaweek,butthat’salltheycouldaccommodate.That’sonereasonI’vebeenpitchingin.Noah’sactually
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luckytheywouldtakehimatall.Alotofplacesdon’ttakebabies.”Samwassmiling.“Youare
sointothis.Howcouldyourfamilydoubtforasecondthatit’sexactlyrightforyou?”“Experience?”she
suggestedwithashrug.“ThewholefashionthingwassomethingIwaspassionateaboutforaboutaminute.BeforethatIworkedwitha
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sportsteam,alsoforaboutaminute.”Shemadeaface.“Andthebigdrawwithbothofthosejobs?Iwasattractedtoaman.”Helaughed.“Well,that’s
obviouslynotthecasewiththis.Anditwillbeyourbusiness,notsomeoneelse’s.”“Theymighthavebought
thatacoupleofweeksago,”shesaid.
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“Whywouldn’ttheybuyitnow?”“You,”shesaidcandidly.
“YouneedhelpwithBobbyandtheyknowwhatasuckerIcanbeforamanwhoneedsme.”Suddenunderstanding
dawnedonSam’sface.“That’swhyyouwerecomparingoursituationtoyourrelationshipwiththefashionjerk,isn’tit?”
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“Afraidso.”“Butdidn’tyoutellmethat
Lukehadproposedthisideatoyouevenbeforememet?”“Aboutfifteenminutes
before,tobeexact.Soyouseewhypeoplemightbeskeptical.Thetimingissuspicious.”“Doyouthinkthishas
anythingtodowithme?”heasked.Shehesitated,thenshook
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herhead.“Runningintoyouthatnightmighthavestirredupallmymaternalfeelings,butthedaycare?AfterworkingwithJuliethisweek,Iknowit’saboutdoingsomethingthatwillmakemehappy,somethingI’llbegoodat.TheclassesIstartedonlineareonlyreinforcingthat.Bestofall,it’ssomethingIcandorighthereinChesapeakeShores.Idon’thavetogo
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chasingallovertheworldtofindfulfillment.”“Thereyougo,”hesaid
withsatisfaction.“Youcanclearlydefendyourselfagainstanyargumentstheymighttry.”Sheatethelastbiteofice
creaminthecontainer,thenputitaside.“We’reclose,butwe’renottherequiteyet.”“No?”“Weneedthatconlist.
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That’swherethingscouldgettricky.Let’sstartwiththefactthattwodaysofvolunteerworkdon’texactlymakemeexperienced.AddinthatI’veneverrunanykindofbusinessbefore.Therearerulesandregulationstocontendwith,findingalocation,advertising,hiringhelp.”Shecoveredherface.“Idon’tevenknowwhatIdon’tknow.”
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“So,there’salearningcurve,”Samsaid,dismissingherconcern.“Itwon’ttakeforevertogetuptospeed.Anddidn’tyoutellmethatJuliehadpromisedtobeyourmentor?Youhaveacousinwhocanhelpyoufindalocation,anunclewhocanhelpwithlegalwork.Soundstomeasifyou’recovered.”Hestudiedherintently,
thenadded,“Unlessyou’re
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lookingforexcusesnottotakeachanceandpossiblyfail.”Herchinshotup.
“Failing’snotanoption.”Andjustlikethat,her
confidencethatshewasmakingtherightdecisionwasrestored.ShemovedquicklytogiveSamafiercehug.“Thankyou!”“Ididn’tdomuch.”“Yes,youdid.Youhelped
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mesortthroughthisuntilIcouldseeitclearly.YoumademebelieveImightnotbemakingamistake.”“Sowhatifyouare?”he
asked.“Mistakesoftenprovidethecornerstoneforgettingthenextphaseofyourlifeexactlyright.”“O’Briensaren’tsupposed
tomakealotofmistakes,”shetoldhim.Hegrinned.“Thenyoucan
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bethefirst.”“NotaroadIparticularly
wanttogodown,butthanksformakingitsoundlessthanawful.”“Ihavefaithinyou,”he
saidsimply.Surprisingly,thatwasjust
theboostherconfidenceneededasshemadeplanstofaceherfamilyandthelikelyruckusthatwasgoingtoensue.
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12
Thursdaymorningattheday-carecenterwasaneye-opener.Afterallthepositivenotesshe’dmadethenightbefore,Carriefoundherselfquestioningwhethershewastrulycutoutforthis.Everychildatthecenterseemedto
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behavingaverybadday.EventheunflappableJulieandLucyseemedtobeattheirwit’send.Andevenattheirworst,thechildrenwhopassedthroughCarrie’shouseonaregularbasishadneverbeenthisoutofcontrol.Ormaybeitwasjustthathere,thereweresomanymoreofthem,allneedingattentionanddisciplineatonce.AsLucytriedtocalmtwo
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sobbingchildrenandAliciatookchargeofthreemorewho’dbeenthrowingfoodateachotherjustsecondsbefore,JulieandCarrietooktheinstigatorsofthetroubletoJulie’sofficeforasupervisedtime-out.“Iamsodisappointedin
you,”Juliesaid,lookingintoeachlittlefaceastheysatacrossfromherathertinydeskwithitsoverflowing
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pilesoffolders.Jawswobbledandeyesfilledwithtears.Carrieknewtheydeserved
Julie’sharshwords,butshefeltsobadforthethreeofthem.Itwashardtobelievethatjustminutesagothey’dbeenhurlingfruitandtauntsatchildrenevenyoungerthantheywere.Thoughsheknewshe
oughttoletJuliehandleit,
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shecouldn’tseemtostopherselffromasking,“Reed,youstartedit.Canyoutelluswhy?”Bigblueeyesmethers.
“BaileywasbeingmeantoJavier.Hesaidbadthingsabouthismom.BaileysaidJavier’smomdidn’tevenknowwhohisdadis.Andthattheyweren’trealAmericans.”CarrieheardJulie’ssharp
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intakeofbreathandbarelymanagednottovisiblyreactherself.“Javier,isthattrue?Isthat
whatBaileysaid?”Julieaskedgently.JuliehadfilledCarrieinon
thestory.Javier’smotherhadcomeherelegallyfromElSalvadoryearsearlierwithJavier’stwooldersiblingstojoinhisfather.AfterJavier’sfatherhadbroughtthemhere
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andbeforeJavierwasevenborn,themanabandonedthem.Hismotherworkedtwojobstokeepfoodonthetableandaroofovertheirheads.ShepitchedinatthecenterwhenevershehadthetimetohelppayJavier’sfees.And,thoughlegallydocumentedtoremain,shewasstudyinghardandworkingthroughtheprocesstobecomeacitizen.WithJulieholdinghis
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gaze,Javierfinallynodded,hisexpressionsad.“Itisnottrue,whathesaid.
IknowwhomyfatherisandIamAmerican,”hesaidwithatouchofprouddefiance.Juliecamearoundthedesk
andputagentlehandonhisshoulder.“Iknow,sweetie.I’lldealwiththis.”SheturnedtoReed.“Iappreciateyourwantingtostandupforyourfriend,butnexttime,
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justtellmeandletmehandleit,okay?Yousawhowquicklythingsgotoutofcontrol.Someonecouldhavegottenhurt.”“Ipromise,”Reedsaid
solemnly.“You’vebeencominghere
alongtime,”Juliecontinued.“Icountonyoutolookoutforthelittlerkids,butnotlikethis.”“Okay,”Reedsaid.“Ijust
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knewitwaswrongandIdidn’tlikeit.Baileyshouldn’thavesaidsomethinglikethat.”“No,heshouldn’thave,”
Julieagreed.“I’lldealwithBailey.Carrie,youwanttotakethesetroublemakersoutontotheplaygroundandshootsomebasketswiththemwhileIhaveawordwithBailey.”“Absolutely,”Carriesaid.
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“Icanwatcheverybody,”Reedprotested.“Youprobablycan,”Julie
agreed.“Butrulesarerules.Nobody’sontheplaygroundwithoutanadultpresent.”Withthechaosnowunder
controlanditscausedetermined,Carriefeltbetter.Beingoutsideinthefreshairandworkingoffsomeoftheiraggressioninamorepositivewaywasjustwhatthey
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needed.Shecouldn’thelpwondering,though,ifshe’dhavebeenasquickasJulietorecognizethat.Orifshewouldhavebeensoincensedbytheracialprofilingbyachildtooyoungtoevenknowwhatthatmeant,shewouldhavebeenonthephonetellingofftheparents.“WhatifI’mnogoodat
this,afterall,”shemurmuredtoherselfasshefollowedthe
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threeboysoutside.“Hey,Carrie,doyouwant
toplay,too?”ReedcalledoutwithagrinthatremindedherofDavey.Sherecognizedachallenge
whensheheardone.“You’reon,”shesaidatonce,thenstolethebasketballfromhisgraspandmadeaquickshot.Thethreeboysstaredather
inamazement.“Stillwantmetoplay?”
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sheasked.“Youbet,”Javiersaid,his
toneheartfelt.“Youcanbeonmyteam.”“Howcome?”Reed
demanded.“I’mtheonewhoaskedher.”“Yes,butI’mtheshortest,”
Javierrepliedreasonably.“Ineedthehelp.”Carrielaughed.“It’sso
nicetobewanted,”shetoldthem.“Javier,I’llplaywith
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youfirst,thenwe’llswitch.Howaboutthat?”“Worksforme,”Reed
said.Carrielookedintotheir
happy,expectantfacesandconcludedmaybeshewasn’tquiteasbadathandlingcontroversyasshe’dfeared.
***
Samdiscoveredawholenew
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sidetoBobbywhenhetookhimovertotheschooltogetregisteredandtakealookaround.Sincehisdadhadbeenprettymellowandeasygoing,thekid’sstubbornstreakhadtohavecomefromtheWinslowgenes,buthecouldn’trecallLaurelorhimeverdiggingintheirheelsandthrowingaroyaltantrum.“I’mnotgoing,”Bobby
declaredmutinously,arms
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crossedtightly,hisjawset.Hiseyeswelledwithtears.“Theschoollooksreally
nice,”Samsaid.“Anddidyouseetheplayground?Ithaslotsmoreequipmentthantheoneonthetowngreen.”“Idon’tcare.Iwanttogo
tomyoldschool.”Samclungtohispatience
byathread.Heunderstoodwhatwasgoingon,butcopingwithitwassomething
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elseentirely.Hewasway,wayoutofhisdepth.HewassureCarriecouldhavecoaxedBobbyoutofthecarandintotheschoolbynow,butshortofdragginghim,hedidn’thaveaplanforaccomplishingthat.Reasondidn’tappeartobeworking.“Youalreadyknowlotsof
kidsherefromplayingT-ball,”heremindedBobby.“I’llbetsomeofthemwillbe
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inyourclass.”“Ilikemyoldfriends.”Samseizedonabribe.
“Andmaybewecantakeatripsomeweekendtoseethem,butyouliveherenowandthisisgoingtobeyourschool.”“NO!”Theemphaticshoutechoed
inthecar.Samtookadeepbreathand
triedtoimaginewhatitmust
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belikeforhisnephew.He’dlosthismomanddad.He’dmovedtoanewtownwithanunclehebarelyknew.Itprobablyshouldn’thavecomeasasurprisethatsoonerorlaterBobbywasgoingtodiginhisheels.Samtriedanothertack.“Itwasn’tthatlongago
thatIwasnewhere,too,”heremindedBobby.“Ididn’tknowanybodyintownexcept
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myboss.Startinganewjobisalotlikestartingatanewschool.Itcanbeprettyscary.”“I’mnotscared,”Bobby
declared,thoughhecouldn’tquitebringhimselftomeetSam’sgaze.“Ofcoursenot.You’rethe
bravestkidIknow,”Samagreedreadily.“You’vebeenhandlingstuffthatwouldbehardforanybody.Thisisjust
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onemorethingyouhavetoface,butIknowyoucandoit,Bobby.Andacoupleofweeksfromnow,I’llprobablyhavetroublegettingyoutocomehome,becauseyou’llbehavingsomuchfunwithallyournewfriends.It’sjustthisfirststepthat’shard.”“Whatifmyteacher’s
mean?”heasked,hisvoicesmallandfilledwiththefearhe’dbeentryingsovaliantly
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tohide.“Ican’timagineany
teacherinthistownbeingmean,”Samsaid.“Wehaven’tmetonesinglemeanpersonyet,havewe?”“Iguessnot,”Bobby
concededgrudgingly.Inspirationstruck.“Ihave
anidea,”Samsaid.“Daveywenttothisschool.I’llbethismomknowsalltheteachers.Wanttogobythe
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bookstoreandShannacantellyouallabouther?”Bobbynoddedeagerly.
Anythingtodelaytheinevitable,apparently.“Okay,we’lldothatfirst.”“Andthenlunchat
Sally’s?”Bobbywheedled.“I’dprobablyfeelbetterafteragrilledcheesesandwich.”Samnodded.“Butafter
lunchwecomestraightbackhereandgetyouregistered.
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Deal?”Bobbyclearlyrealizedit
wasthebestdealhewaslikelytoget.“Iguess,”hesaideventually.Samstartedthecarand
droveintotown.Fiveminuteslater,he’dexplainedthesituationtoShanna.“So,doyouhappentoknowthefirst-gradeteacher?”Shanna’sexpression
brightened.“YoubetIdo.
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HernameisAmyPennington.”“Isshemean?”Bobby
asked,trepidationinhisvoice.“Noway.She’sverynice.
She’sbeenhereforaverylongtime.”Shesatdownononeofthelowchairsinthechildren’ssectionrightnexttoBobby,thenleanedintoconfide,“Youknowwhosheremindsmeof?”
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“Who?”Bobbyasked.“Mrs.Claus.”Bobby’seyeswentwide.
“Santa’swife?”Shannanodded,asmile
tuggingatherlips.“Don’tevertellherIsaidthat,though.Here,I’llshowyou.”ShepulledaChristmaspicturebookfromanearbyshelfandflippedthroughthepages,thenpointed.“Thereyougo.Youwaittillyou
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meetMrs.PenningtonandthentellmeifI’mright.”Bobbygiggled,andSam’s
heartfilledwithamixofemotionshecouldn’tquiteidentify.Happinessatthesound,tobesure,andrelief,butitwasmorethanthat.Hefeltatinybitlikeadadwho’dfacedamonumentalhurdleandsomehowgottenoveritjustright.“Thanks,Shanna,”hesaid
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asBobbyscamperedofftochooseanewbookforhiscollection.“Notaproblem.I’mso
gladyouthoughttobringhimhere.”Shegavehimareassuringlook.“Youmightwanttorememberthatyouwon’talwayshavealltheanswerswhenitcomestoyourkids,butknowingwhentoaskforhelpandwheretogotogetitissometimesjust
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asimportant.”“Howaboutbribinghim
withthepromiseoflunchatSally’s?Isthatassmart?”Shelaughed.“Sometimes
youhavetowingitanddowhateverittakestogetthejobdone.Justdon’tbackdownonceyou’rebackattheschool.Remindhimhemadeadealwithyouandholdhimtoit.”Samsighed.“Doesitever
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getanyeasier?”“You’vebeenatthisfor
what,amonthmaybe?I’vebeenatthisparentingthingforawholelotofyearsnow.I’llletyouknowwhenIfinallystarttoseeeasy.”Herexpressionsobered.“Ofcourse,ithelpsthatIhaveKevinrighttheretopickuptheslack.YoucouldalwaysaskCarrieforbackup.”“I’malreadyrelyingonher
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alot,maybeeventoomuch,”hesaid.“Idon’twanttotakeadvantageofher.Igathershe’sstillrecoveringfromthelastjerkinherlifewhodidjustthat.”Shannalookedsurprised.
“ShetoldyouaboutMarc?”“EnoughthatIunderstand
whyshe’sgun-shyaboutgettinginvolvedwithanyoneelsesheperceivescouldbeusingher.”
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“Recognizingthatjustprovesyou’reathousandtimesmoresensitivethanhewas.Youhavemystampofapproval,forwhateverthat’sworth.”Shegavehimalonglook.“Justdon’teverforcemetoadmitthatIwaswrongaboutyou.Ihatebeingwrong.”Helaughed.“Mostpeople
do.AndI’lldomybestnottohurtCarrie.That’sa
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promise.”Shenodded.“Goodenough
forme.”Samlookedaroundfor
Bobbyandfoundhimabsorbedinabookhe’dchosen.“Comeon,kiddo.Let’spayforthatandgrabsomelunch.”Bobbyjumpedupand
headedfortheregister.SampaidShannaforthebook.“Ioweyoualotmorethanthis
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fortheadvice.”“Nope.Thatwasonthe
house.”ShegrinnedatBobby.“RememberwhatIsaidaboutMrs.Pennington.That’sjustbetweenus.”SamthoughtofCarrie’s
secretthatBobbyhadinadvertentlyblurtedoutalltoorecently.“Youmightnotwanttocountonthat,”hewarnedShanna.Sheshrugged.“I’ll
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recommendhertoBreeforthisyear’sChristmasproduction.Amywillbesoflatteredshe’llthankmeformakingthecomparison.”“Doyouhaveapositive
spinforeverything?”“Idothesedays,”she
repliedcheerfully.“That’swhatahappymarriagewilldoforyou.Youmightkeepthatinmind.”“SoMick’snottheonly
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meddlerinthefamily,”hesaidwryly.“He’sjustthetipofthe
iceberg,”sheconfirmed.Forsomereasonthatdidn’t
botherSamhalfasmuchasitprobablyshould.
***
“DinnerwithTraceandmetonight!”Abbydeclaredinabrief,butpointedvoicemail.
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Carrielistenedtohermom’smessageandrecognizedacommandwhensheheardit.Sighing,shereturnedthe
call.“Areyoucooking?”sheaskedwhenAbbypickedup.Hermomchuckled.“What
doyouthink?Iknowmyfood’snevergoingtolureyouoverhere.Jessissendingoveraroastedchicken,redblissmashedpotatoes,
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veggiesandtheinn’schocolatedecadencecake.”“Wow!Isthisabig
occasion?”“Itisifoneofmy
daughtersiscomingfordinnerafteralongabsence,”Abbysaid.“Ijustsawyouattheinn,”
Carrieprotested.“Twoweeksago.Andyou
haven’tseenTraceforevenlonger,tosaynothingofyour
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littlebrother.Wemissyou,sweetheart.”Sincesheknewshe’dbeen
deliberatelyavoidingthem,Carriecouldhardlydenythatherabsencehadgoneontoolong.“Whattime?”“Dinnerwillbeatseven,
butcomewheneveryou’reready.”Therewasaslightpausebeforehermotheradded,“Anyoneyou’dliketobringalong?”
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Thereitwas,Carriethoughttriumphantly.Theulteriormotive.“Sothisisn’treallyaboutcatchingupwithme.It’saboutSam.Youwanttocheckhimout.”“Ithoughtitmightbenice
forhisnephewtogettoknowPatrick,”hermothercontradicted.“I’msureitwouldbe,butI
amnotbringingSamwithintenmilesofanyoneinthis
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familyjustyet.O’Brienstendtogetideasandthentrytoramthemdownthethroatsofinnocentpeople.”“Haveyoueverknownme
todosuchathing?”Abbyasked,analmostbelievablenoteofhurtinhervoice.“OnlybecauseI’venever
datedanyoneseriouslyinChesapeakeShores,”Carriereplied.“Andbecauseyoudon’twantmetoaccuseyou
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oftakingafteryourfather.”Abbylaughedthen.“Well,
that’strue.Okay,comeonyourown.We’lltrytomakedowithjustyourcompany.”“I’msoflattered.Love
you,Mom.”“Backatyou.Seeyou
tonight.”Assoonasshe’d
disconnectedthecall,CarrieregrettednotagreeingtobringSamandBobbyalong.
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Atleasttheywouldhaveprovidedaverynicedistractionfromthenight’slikelyremainingmission:gettingafixonherplansforthefuture.Shecouldn’thelpwonderinghowsurprisedtheyweregoingtobewhenshearrivedwithawrittenlistofanswersallpreparedforthem.
***
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Carriewalkedintothehousethathadbeenherhomeformostofherlifejustasherstepfathercamedownthestairslookingasifhe’djustbeenforaswimfullyclothed.Shecouldn’tseemtostopthegrinspreadingacrossherface.“DidPatrickwinthebath
war?”sheteased.“Ofcoursehedid,”Trace
said.“I’mnotsurewhyyour
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motherinsistshetakeabathwhenhe’sspenttheentiredayswimming.NordoIunderstandwhyakidwho’salittlefishfrommorningtillnightbalksatgettingintoabathtub.”Carriekissedhischeek.
“Justtogiveyouaroughtime.”“Youandyoursisterwere
neverthisimpossible,”Tracesaid.
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“Becausewewereyourlittleangels,”Carrierepliedsweetly.“AndwewantedyouandMomtogetbacktogether,sowewerealwaysonourverybestbehavior.”Hermotherwalkedintothe
foyerjustintimetooverhearher.“Idon’trecallanyofthat,”shesaid.“Irecallbathtimeswithprotestsatdecibellevelsthatcouldhaveregistereddowntheblock.I
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recalltwogirlswhoranawayfromhomeandscaredthedaylightsoutofme.Irecall—”Carrielaughedandcuther
off.“Mom,youdon’tneedtorecountallofourbadbehavior.LetTracehavehisillusions.”Abbyslippedanarm
affectionatelyaroundTrace’swaist,thenjerkedaway.“You’resoakingwet!”
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“ThusthecomparisonofPatrick’sbath-timebehaviortoCait’sandmine,”Carriesaid.SheglancedatTrace,thenshookherheadathisbesottedexpressionashestaredathiswife.Ithadalwaysbeenthatway.Unlikehermemoriesofherdadandthenonstoparguments,hermemoriesofhermomandTracewereallcoloredbytheabsoluteconvictionthatthey
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lovedeachotherandherandCaitlynlikecrazy.“MaybeIshouldgo
upstairsandcheckonmylittlebrother,”shemurmuredandmovedtowardthestairs.“Ishesupposedtobeinbedorishecomingdownheretohavedinnerwithus?”“He’lljoinus,”Abby
respondeddistractedly.“Trace,youneedtogetoutofthesewetclothes.”
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“Anythingyousay,”hesaid,awickedtwinkleinhiseyesashereachedforthebuttonsonhisshirt.“Nothere,”Abby
protested,butshewaslaughing.“Impossibleman!”Carrielaughedandleft
themtotheirflirting.That,shethoughtassheclimbedthestairs,waswhatshewanted,amarriageinwhichtheromancestayedalive.It
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wasexactlyasBree,ShannaandHeatherhadsuggestedearlier.Shefoundherlittlebrother,
stilldampandwearingnothingmorethanhisfavoriteSpider-Manunderpants,sittingonthefloorplayingwithhisLEGO.Hergrandfather,who’dgivenPatrickthemostexpensivesethecouldfind,claimedhewasalreadyseeingsignsthat
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Patrickwouldfollowinhisfootstepsasanarchitect.Giventhewobblingstructurehewasworkingonnow,Carriewasn’tsosure.“Hey,bro,”shesaid,
earningaglanceandagrin.“Didyoubringme
something?”heasked.Patrickwaswellawarethathisbigsisterswereputonthisearthtospoilhim.“Broccoliandspinach,”
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shereplied,keepingherexpressionserious.“Yuck!”“Thatisnowaytoshow
yourappreciationforagift,”sheadmonished.“Broccoliandspinach
aren’tpresents,”herepliedreasonably.“Oh,okay,”shegrumbled.
Shereachedintoherpurseandtossedhimthebagofpennycandyshe’dbrought.
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Hiseyeslitupandhetoreintothebag.“Holdit!Afterdinner,”she
saidfirmly.“OrMomwillkillusboth.”Hegiggled.“Shetold
GrandpaMicknever,evertobringcandyintothishouseagain.”“Hashepaidanyattention
toher?”Patricknodded.“Hehides
itoutside,andthenIgoout
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andfindit.”Atypicallysneaky
GrandpaMickmaneuver,Carrieconcluded.Shereachedforthebag.“Thenmaybe,ifyoualreadyhavecandyhiddenaway,youshouldn’thavethis.”“Yes,Ishould,”hesaid,
tighteninghisgrip.“It’smypresent.Youcan’ttakeitback.”“Whathaveyougotfor
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me,then?”Hescrambledupand
huggedher.“Thankyou.”Sheruffledhisstrawberry
blondhair,creatingahaloofthecurlshehated.“You’rewelcome,peanut.Nowputonyourpj’sandcomedownstairs.We’llbeeatingdinnersoon.Ihearthere’scakefordessert.”Thatearnedafistpump.
Hesearchedthrougha
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drawer,tossingthingsonthefloor,tillhefoundapairofpajamasheliked,thenpulledthemon.Thetopwasinsideout,butCarrierefrainedfrompointingthatout.Evenasatoddlerherlittlebrotherhadhadawell-developedindependentstreak.Itwasonlystrengtheningashepreparedtogoofftopreschoolthisyear.Astheyreachedthetopof
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thestairs,hegaveheranimpishgrin.“Wannarace?”Beforeshecouldreply,
he’dperchedonthebanisterandwasflyingdowntherailing.Carriewatched,heartinherthroat,tillhereachedthebottom.SherecognizedforthefirsttimehowmuchhermommusthaveagedwatchingherandCaittesttheirlimits.Asshefollowedherlittle
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brotherdownstairsusingtheactualsteps,shespottedhermotherwaitingatthebottom.“Youknow,”Abbysaida
littletoocasually,“ifyou’regoingtoopenadaycare,you’regoingtohavetokeepamuchclosereyeonthekids.”Carrieregardedherwith
shock.“Whosaid...?Howdidyou...?”“Wordtravels,”shesaid.
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“Youshouldknowthatbynow.”“ButIhaven’tdiscussed
thiswithanyoneexceptLuke.Hetookavowtokeepittohimself.”“AndIdidn’thearaboutit
fromLuke.”“Whothen?”“Doesitmatter?Isittrue?
Areyouconsideringopeningadaycare?”Carrieignoredthe
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question,stilltryingtofigureoutwheretheleakhadbeen.Thenithither.Davey,ofcourse.SamhadtoldherhimselfthatBobbyhadletitsliparoundtheboys.Henrywouldneverrevealaword,butDaveywasaloosecannon.“Haveyouspentanytime
withKevinlately?”sheinquiredinnocently.Afaintblushtintedher
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mother’scheeks.“I’vespokentoyouruncle.Why?”“Didhehappentopass
alonganytidbitsoffamilygossip?”Hermomfrowned.“Okay,
yes,butwhatIwanttoknowiswhymybrotherknewaboutthisbeforeIdid?”“Hedidn’thearitfromme,
ifthatmakesyoufeelanybetter,”Carriesaid,andexplainedthelikelyscenario
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thatledfromBobbytoDaveytoKevin.Abbylaughed.“Oh,sweet
heaven,ifthenextgenerationisstartingthisearlyspreadingfamilygossip,we’llneverbeabletokeepanothersecret.”Shelinkedherarmthrough
Carrie’sandledthewayintothekitchen.“Youcanfillusinoverdinner.”Tracelookedup.“Fillusin
aboutwhat?”
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“Carriehasdecidedwhatshewantstodowithherlife.”Herstepfather’sgaze
narrowed.“Doesitinvolvegoinganywherenearthatfashiondesigner?”“Definitelynot,”Carrie
assuredhim.“Okay,then.Whateverit
is,I’mallforit.”Carrieheardthe
unconditionalsupportinhisvoiceandfeltherheartlift.
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Sheknewhemeanteveryword.FromthemomentTracehadcomeintotheirlives,he’dbeennotonlyadevotedhusbandtohermom,butasteadyinginfluenceforherandCait.Hethoughttheywerecapableofanything.And,inpart,becauseofthatunwaveringfaithinthem,theybelievedit,too.
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13
“YouhavetounderstandthatI’mjustatthebeginningstagesofthinkingthisthrough,”CarrietoldhermomandTraceafteraboredPatrickhadgonebacktohisroomafterdinner.“Idon’thaveallthedetailsworked
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out.Oranyofthem,forthatmatter.Ijusthavelists,awholelotofverylonglists.”“You’vealwaysbeena
naturalwithkids,”Abbysaid,herexpressionthoughtful.“Youknow,therewasatimewhenIthoughtyoumightwanttogotomedicalschooljustlikeyoursisterandbecomeapediatrician.”“Notme,”Carriesaidat
once.“Theprocesstakesway
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toolong.YouknowhowimpatientIam.Icouldn’twaittogetonwithmylife,eventhoughIobviouslydidn’tknowquitewhatIwantedthatlifetobe.Asforthewholemedicalthing,that’sCaitlyn’spassion.”“Andyouthinkopeninga
day-carecentercouldbeyours?”Traceasked,studyingherclosely.“Youhonestlythinkyou’llbe
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happystayinghereandlookingafterkids?Kids,whoaren’tyourown,thatis.IthinkyourmotherandIfiguredyou’dbesettleddownwithawholebroodbynow.”Carrieshrugged.“SodidI,
butithasn’thappened.I’mtryingtofindanalternativethatwillbeagoodfit,somethingIcanbeasexcitedaboutasCaitisaboutmedicine.”
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“It’sabigdecision,”heremindedher,asifsheweren’talreadyverywellawareofthat.Carrieknewhewas
makinghispointonlytobesureshewasn’tdivingintosomethingthisdemandingonawhim.Takingcareofotherpeople’schildrenwasahugeresponsibility.She’dseenthatfirsthandsinceshe’dbeenworkingwithJulie.Andonce
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she’dcommittedtoit,itwasn’tsomethingshecouldwalkawayfromonyetanotherwhim.Peoplewouldbecountingonher.“Iknowitmustseemasif
thiswholeideahascometomeoutoftheblueandIcan’tdenythatafewmonthsago,ithadneveroncecrossedmymind,”sheconceded.“Whathappened?”Trace
asked.
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“YoumeanbesidesrealizingthatIwasinadead-endrelationshipandquittingmyjobwithnoprospectsforanotherone?”shesaiddryly.“LeavingMarcandthatjob
werethesmartestthingsyou’ddoneinawhile,ifyouaskme,”Tracetoldher,noteventryingtohidethedisdainhe’dmanagedtomaskwhiletherelationshiphadbeennewand,she’d
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claimed,everythingshe’deverwanted.“Youweretoogoodforhimandthatjobworeyouout.Itdidn’tmakeyouhappy.”“Ilovedmyjob,”she
protested.AndatfirstMarchadbeenasattentiveasshecouldpossiblyhavewanted.Itwasonlylaterthatshe’drealizedthatallthatattentionshe’dbaskedinwasnothingmorethanajadedattemptto
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makesureshecontinuedtodohisbidding.Traceregardedher
skeptically.“Whichpartofthejobmadeyouwanttojumpoutofbedinthemorning?Andbeforeyouanswer,remembermyhistory.Iwasdraggedintobankingbymyfather—anice,stablecareerpathIwassupposedlydestinedtofollow.Itwouldhavemeant
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goodmoneyandstabilityforsure,butIhatedeveryminuteofit.Itwasn’tuntilIconvincedDadthatmysisterwasmoresuitedtothatcareerandIwasfreetocontinuewithmydesignbusinessthatIwastrulyhappy.”Hegaveheralonglook.“SoIknowalittlebitabouthowimportantitistochoosewhatyouweretrulymeanttodoandnotletanyoneoranythingstandin
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yourway.”Carrieheardwhathewas
saying.“Okay,itwasn’tthePRjobIlovedsomuch.ItwasMarc.You’rerightaboutthat.Iwantedtoimpresshim.”Sheshrugged.“AndIhappenedtobegoodatpublicrelations.There’salottobesaidjustforbeinggoodatwhatyoudo.Especiallyinthatworld,praiseisseductive.AndIwantedtodo
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somethingthatwouldmakethefamilytakenoticeandbeproudofme.”“Darling,we’vealways
beenproudofyou,”hermothersaid,lookingshocked.“Sure,insortofayou’re-
our-daughter-and-we’ll-love-you-no-matter-whatway.Mom,youandeveryoneelseinourfamilysetthebarprettydarnhigh.”Abbysighed.“Isuppose
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wedid,andyourgrandfather’scertainlynotaboveremindingeveryoneabouthisloftystandards.Still,weallknowhowthatjobworkedout.It’soveranddonewithnow,”hermothersaidbriskly.“Telluswhyyouthinkopeningadaycareiswhatyouweremeanttodo?Howdidyoureachthatconclusion?”“IwastalkingtoLuke
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aboutmyoptions.Wejuststartedbattingaroundideasandhepointedoutthathalfthekidsinourfamilyareinandoutofmyhouseonaregularbasis.I’mgoodwiththem.Ilovebeingwiththem.”“Butthat’sallpretty
casual,”hermomsaidworriedly.“Thiswillbeafull-timecommitment,Carrie.It’snotsomethingtotake
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lightly.”“Iknowthat,”shesaid
impatiently.Shereachedinherpocketandpulledoutthepro-conlistshe’dprinted.Shehandeditovertohermom.“Andthat’swhyI’mtakingitveryseriously.Lookthoseoverandyou’llseejusthowcarefullyI’vebeenanalyzingthis.”“Prosandcons?”Abby
saidwithasmile.“Thisis
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somethingyoursisterwoulddo.”“SinceI’vebeenwatching
heranalyzethingstodeathpracticallysincebirth,Idecidedtogiveitatry,”Carriesaidwryly.“AndI’vebeenvolunteering,justforafewdayssofar,atadaycareoutsideoftown.Theowner’sbeeninthebusinessforyears.She’spromisedtobemymentorandguidemethrough
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everythingIneedtodo,butonlyifIprovetoherthatIcanhandlethejob.There’snotellinghowlongI’llhavetopaymyduesbeforeshe’sconvinced,soIdefinitelywon’tbetakingthenextstepimpulsively.I’meventakingacoupleofclassessherecommendedonline.”“Ah,sothedaycare’s
whereyou’vebeengoingatthecrackofdawn,”hermom
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concluded.“Nowitmakessense.Icouldn’tbelieveitwhensomeonesaidmylittlenightowlwasupandoutbeforedaybreak.”Carriedidn’tevenbother
askingwho’dfiledthatreport.Ithardlymattered.ShelookedexpectantlyfromTracetohermom,tryingtogaugetheirreactions.“So,whatdoyouthink?”
sheproddedwhenshe
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couldn’tstandthesilenceanotherminute.“Nowthatwe’vetalked,I
canseehowitwouldbeexactlyrightforyou,”hermothersaid.“I’malittlesurprisednoonesuggesteditsooner.”Carrierolledhereyes.
“Who?GrandpaMick?Youknowhe’sgoingtohaveplentytosayaboutmewastingmypotentialby
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babysitting.”“AndIthinkyou’reselling
himshort,”Abbycontradicted.“Hewantsyoucloseby.Thiswillkeepyouhere.Hewantstoseeyouhappy.Ifthisachievesthat,he’llhavenocomplaints.”“Anditshouldn’tmatter
whatMickoranyoneelsethinks,”Traceemphasized.“Ifthisiswhatyouwant,that’sallthatcounts.Have
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youspokentomydadorLailaatthebankaboutgettingasmall-businessloanforyourstart-up?”Carrieheldupherhands.
“Slowdown.I’mnotthatfaralongyet.AndIstillhavetrust-fundmoneytounderwritethefirst-yearcostswhenIamready.”Traceshookhishead.
“SpeaktoDadormysister.Don’tputyourtrustfundat
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risk.Partofopeninganybusinessisestablishinggoodcredit.Letthemhelpwiththat.ItwillmakeDad’sday.Youknowhe’salwayshadasoftspotforyouandyoursister.AndanytimeanO’Briensucceeds,it’sgoodforthebankandgoodforthetown.He’swellawareofthat.”“Isupposeitwouldn’thurt
totalktohimwhenthetime
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isright,”Carrieagreed,thoughshewasn’tenthusiasticaboutlayingoutherplansforamanashardheadedaboutbusinessasTrace’sdad.He’dspoteverysingleflawandmakenoconcessionsbecauseshewasfamily.“Seemstomethattheend
ofsummerandthestartoftheschoolyearwouldbeagoodtimetogetthingsrolling,”
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Abbysuggestedcasually.“Noway,”Carriesaid,
horrified.“Schoolstartsinacoupleofweeks.Thisisn’tsomethingIcanrushinto.EvenifIwantedtoopenquicklyandonaverysmallscale,therearetoomanyregulationsandlicensestodealwith.PlusIhavetofindalocation,dorenovations.ThereareamillionthingsthatneedtobedonebeforeI
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couldevenconsideropening.”“StopbyandseeSusie
aboutsuitableproperty,”Abbysuggested.“Sheknowseveryhouseorretailspacearoundherethat’szonedforsomethinglikethis.”Carriestudiedhermom.
Somethingwasgoingonhere.“Whyareyousuddenlyinsucharushformetomakethishappen?It’snotjustso
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I’llstaycloseby,isit?I’vealreadytoldyouIintendtostayinChesapeakeShores.Thatdecisiondefinitelyisn’tawhim.Iwantthistowntocontinuetobehome.”Abbyglancedacrossthe
tableatTrace,whonodded.“Thethingis,”shebegan,colorbloominginhercheeks,“we’reexpectinganotherbaby.”Carriestaredatherin
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shock.“Ababy?But,Mom,youcan’tbe.You’re...”“Old.Goaheadandsayit,”
Abbysaid,herexpressionwry.“Believeme,nooneismoreshockedthanthetwoofus.IthoughtIwasalotclosertomenopausethanIwastobecomingamotheragain.”“Whoknows?Haveyou
toldanyoneelse?”Carrieasked.“No.Sofar,it’sjustus,”
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Tracesaid,thencautioned,“Andwewantittostaythatwayforanothercoupleofmonths.Butyoucanseewhytheideaofadaycarerighthereintownandrunbysomeonewetrustcouldbealifesaverforus.TryingtokeepaneyeonPatrickwhileworkingathomealmostdrovemeoverthebrink.Withthisbaby,Iwanthimorheroutofthehouseandin
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thehandsofaprofessional.YourmomandIareagreedonthat.I’mnotexpectinghertoputhercareeronthebackburner,either,soreliabledaycareisamust.”Carriebouncedoutofher
chairandhuggedhermom,thenTrace.“Iamso,sohappyforyou.DoesCaitlynknow?”“Notyet,”Abbyreplied.
“Wewantedtowaitalittle
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longer.We’llfillherinnexttimeshecomeshomeforaweekend.”“ThenIdon’tsuppose
Patrickknowshe’sgoingtobeabigbrother,”Carriesaid.“Absolutelynot,”Trace
said.“Thepint-sizeO’Briensarenotevenremotelytrustworthywithsecretsofanykind.Theleakingofyournewsisproofenoughofthat.”
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“Pointtaken,”Carrieagreed.“RemindmetobeatthetaroutofDaveynexttimeIplayavideogamewithhimjusttogeteven.”“Hey,it’snotallbad,
havingusinonyourplans,isit?”hermomasked.“Actually,no.Your
enthusiasmhasbeenreassuring,evenifIhavediscoveredit’sduetoanulteriormotive.”Shestudied
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hermotherworriedly.“Areyoufeelingokay?Isthepregnancygoingokaysofar?”“I’malittletired,butthe
doctorsayseverything’srightontrack.We’lldoanamniocentesisdowntheroadjustlikewedidwhenPatrickwasontheway.”“We’renotgoingtotake
anychanceswithyourmother’shealthorthe
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baby’s,”Traceassuredher.“Well,ifyouneed
anything,anythingatall,I’mjustaphonecallaway,”Carrietoldbothofthem.“Iamsohappyforyou.AndGram’sgoingtobeoverthemoon.”Abbysmile.“Shewillbe,
won’tshe?There’snothingNelllovesmorethananewO’Brientofussover.”Thinkingofallthebabies
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inthefamily,Carriefiguredhergreat-grandmotherwouldbeinseventhheavenforalongtimetocome.
***
ForafullweekafterdinnerwithhermomandTrace,Carrietriedtoabsorbtheirbignews,whilecontinuingtobabysitJacksonandvolunteerattheday-carecenter.She
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didn’thearmuchfromSambeyondaquickcalltoletherknowthathe’dsuccessfullyenrolledBobbyinschool.“NowIjusthavetoget
himinthedooronthefirstday,”he’dsaid,soundingunconvincedthathecoulddoit.“He’sgoingtobefine,”
Carriehadassuredhim.“Itwouldhelpifyou’dtell
methatinperson,”he
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suggestedslyly.She’dlaughed.“Remind
menexttimewe’reatGram’s.”“Nosoonerthanthat?”“Sorry.I’mswamped.”Anditwastrue.Asher
confidenceinherplanhadstartedtogrow,impatiencehadsetin.Shedownloadedformsandstudiedtherequirementsforlicensing.Then,whenshe’dbeenatthe
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centerforthreeweeks,shesatdownwithJulie.“HowamIdoing?”she
askeddirectly.Juliesmiled.“Iwondered
howlongitwasgoingtotakebeforeyoustartedgettingantsytogetstarted.”“TobehonestI’vebeen
hopingforsomesignfromyouthatyoufeelI’mqualified.”“Qualified?Inlessthana
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month?”“Okay,maybenot
qualified,butcapableofgettingthere.”“Truthfully,I’vebeen
impressed,”Julieadmitted.“Somuchso,infact,thatIwishIcouldtalkyouintostayingrighthereandcontinuingtoworkwithme.”ShestudiedCarrie,thenshookherhead.“Butyouwanttoopenyourownplace,
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don’tyou?”Carrienodded.“Ireallydo.
Workingwithyouhasjustsolidifiedmyresolve.Thismayhavestartedonawhim,butI’mcommittedtoitnow,butonlyifyoubelieveI’mgoingtobeabletodothisthewayitshouldbedone.AndI’mnotgoingtobailonthetrainingI’vebeengettinghereoronmyclasses.Iwillkeepcominghereatleasta
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coupleofdaysaweekuntilallthepiecesofmyplancometogether.IoweyouthatandIcanuseeverysecondofpracticalexperienceIcanget.”Julienodded.“Okay,then,
youhavemyblessingtogetstartedwithyourownplans.”ShegesturedtowardthetabletCarriehadbroughttothemeeting.“Getreadytotakesomenotes.We’llstart
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yourcrashcourserightnow.”Forthenexttwohours,she
filledCarrieinoneverythingfromthecostsofdoingbusiness,thelicensingprocess,liabilityinsurance,whattochargeandthebestqualitytoysandsuppliesavailableandwheretogetthem.“Andthat’sjustthetipof
theiceberg,”Julieconcluded.“Butit’senoughfortoday.
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Yougetstartedonallofthatandwhenyou’reherenexttime,we’llgooversomemore.”ShesmiledatCarrie’s
apparentlyglazedexpression.“Don’tworry.Itwillallfallintoplaceandstarttomakesenseonceyoustartchippingawayatthatlist.Andwhenyoufindaplaceyoulike,invitemedownandI’llwalkthroughitwithyouandhelp
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youfigureoutwhatchangeswillberequiredtomeetcode.It’sbeenyearssinceI’vebeentoChesapeakeShoresdespitehowclosebyitis.I’veheardwonderfulthingsabouttheInnatEaglePoint.MaybeLucyandIwillspendamother-daughterweekendthere.”“You’reagodsend,”Carrie
saidfervently.“AndmyauntJessownstheinn.I’lltalkher
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intocompingyourroom.”Juliesmiled.“Well,how
aboutthat?Iwon’tsayno.AsforwhateverI’vedonetohelpyou,it’sinmyowninterestsasmuchasyours.Ican’tverywellletsomeoneI’vetrainedgooffandmakeamessofthings,canI?”“I’llgetstartedonallthis
tonight,”Carriesaid.“BythetimeIseeyoudayaftertomorrow,I’llhaveafull
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reportonwhatI’veaccomplished.”Juliegavealittlenodof
satisfaction.“Ofcourseyouwill.”AsCarriewasleavingher
office,Juliecalledherback.“I’mproudofyou.You’vecaughtonquickly.You’veneveronceblinkednomatterwhatI’veaskedofyou.Andyou’regreatwiththekids.”Touchedbythepraisefrom
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awomanshe’dcometorespect,Carrieblinkedbacktears.“Thankyou.”“Don’tthankmeyet.There
aregoingtobedaysinthemonthsandyearstocomewhenyou’llprobablyhatemeforencouragingyoutotakethison.”Carriecouldn’timagine
suchaday,butshenodded.Juliehadn’tbeenwrongaboutanythingelse.Shewas
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probablyrightaboutthis,too.Butitdidn’treallymatter.She’dneverbeenmoreexcitedaboutanythingshe’devertackledbefore.AndO’Briensweremadeoftoughstuff.Difficultiesdidn’tdeterthemonelittlebit.
***
SamwasonhiswaytothepizzashopwithBobbyfora
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celebrationofthefirstdayofschoolwhenhespottedCarrieheadingtowardO’Brien’s.Hechangeddirectionandinterceptedher.Asmilespreadacrossherfacewhenshesawthem.“Afirstdayofschool
celebration?”sheguessedrightaway.Bobbynodded
enthusiastically.“We’rehavingpizza!”
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“Notexactlyararetreat,”shecommented,hergazeonSam.Hecaughttheglimmerof
amusementinhereyes.“I’mreformed,butnotobsessedaboutit,”hetoldher.“Besides,thisisBobby’scelebration,soit’shischoice.Wanttojoinus?”“Yes!”Bobbysaideagerly.
“Please,Carrie.”“Well,Icanhardlyturn
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downthechancetohavedinnerwithtwohandsomeguys.Itwillhavetobeaquickone,though.Ihaveatonofworktodotonight.”Samcastacautiousglance
towardBobby,whowasalreadyrunningaheadtothepizzashop.“Day-careplans?”Shenodded,abrilliant
smilelightingupherface.“I’mmovingforwardwith
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Julie’sstampofapproval,”sheconfirmed.“Onlymymomandstepfatherknow,though,sopleasekeepittoyourselfalittlelonger.I’mgoingtoseeSusietomorrowaboutlocatingaproperty,soIsuspecteveryoneinthefamilywillknowafterthat.”Samwincedatthemention
ofSusie.“What?”Carrieasked,
obviouslycatchinghisguilty
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expression.“I’vebeenmeaningtocall
hereversinceIgottotownaboutlookingathouses.Timekeepsgettingawayfromme.Mack’sevenmentionedtometwicenowthatSusie’swonderingifI’mjustgoingtogoonlivingattheinn.”“Itisaprettycomfortable
place,”Carriesaid.“Butit’snotahome.And
it’sabovemybudgetlong-
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term,evenwiththedeepdiscountJesshasbeengivingme.”Hewavedoffthetopic.“I’llgettoSusiesometimethisweek.RightnowIwanttohearallaboutyourplans.”“Hurryup!”Bobby’s
urgentcommandinterruptedthem.Samsighed.“ButIsuppose
now’snotthetime.”“Probablynot.”“Idon’tsupposeyou’ve
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changedyourmindaboutdating?”heaskedhopefully.“Wecouldhaveaquiet,adults-onlydinnerthisweekend.”“Didn’tyoutellmethat
Bobby’sstilluneasyaboutbeingatanewschool?”“Yes,buttodayseemedto
gookay.”“That’soneday,Sam.
Giveitaweekandthenwe’lltalkaboutit.Ineedsome
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spacetopullallthispaperworktogether,anyway.Andyouneedtospendyoursparetimehouse-hunting.”Samconcededdefeat
reluctantly.“I’mcallingyoufirstthingonMondayandaskingyouout,”heinformedher.“Andmakenomistake,I’mnottakingnoforananswer.”“ThenI’llpracticesaying
yes,”shetoldhimwithagrin.
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“Whoknows?Imightbeverygoodatit.”
***
Thenextmorning,determinedtoturnherdreamintoreality,shewasintherealestateofficefiveminutesafteritopened,sittingacrossfromSusie.“Ineedahouse,”shetold
hersecondcousin.
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Susieregardedherblankly.“Youhaveahouse.”“Butit’snotzonedfor
whatIhaveinmind.”“Andthatwouldbe?”“I’mplanningtoget
licensedandopenasmallday-carecenter.”Ratherthanapplaudingher
decision,asCarriehadexpected,Susiefrowned.“Iknowyoulovehaving
thekidsoverforvisitsevery
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day,butanactualdaycare,Carrie?Haveyoureallythoughtthisthrough?”Carriediscoveredthat
havingeachnewpersonshetoldquestionherdecisionwasannoying.“OfcourseIhave,”shesaidimpatiently.“Sinceeverybodyinthefamilyhasbeenregardingmelikeaslackerformonthsnow,Ithoughtthiswouldcomeasgoodnews.Carrie’s
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finallyfiguredoutwhattodowithherlife.Yippee!”Susie’ssmilewasonly
halfhearted.“Nobodythinksyou’reaslacker.”“Seriously?Igetalecture
fromGrandpaMickonanalmost-dailybasis.IcouldseetheworryeverytimeMomlookedatme,atleastuntilIfilledherinaboutthis.I’mprettysureGramhasbeenlightingextracandlesat
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church.”Susiefinallychuckled.
“BeinganO’Briendoescomewithafairshareofpressure,”sheconceded.“Butdaycare?IthoughtyouweredestinedtoreturntoParisorMilan.WhysettleforChesapeakeShores,whenyou’veledsuchaglamorouslife?Weallenviedyougettingtoworkinsuchamazinglocations.”Carrieshrugged.“I’m
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hardlysettling.Therealityis,I’manO’Brienandthisishome.DespitealltheworriedlooksI’veenduredsincecomingback,IknowthisiswhereIbelong.Openingadaycarejustseemslikeanatural.I’vedonemyhomeworkonthenumberofchildrenwithworkingparentsandtheoptionsavailable.Theonlyfacilityopenrightnowisatthechurchandit’sfilledto
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capacity.Thetownneedsaday-carecenter.”“Soit’snotenoughforyou
thatmostofthekidsinourfamilyarealreadyinandoutofyourhouseonadailybasis?”Carriethoughtshehearda
surprisinglybitternoteinSusie’svoice.Shealsothoughtsheunderstoodit.Thankstothatadoptionfallingthroughatthelast
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minute,Susiewasboundtobetouchyaboutanythinghavingtodowithkidsthesedays.Regardinghercousinwith
sympathy,shesaid,“I’msorrytheadoptiondidn’tworkoutthistime,Susie,buttherewillbeotherchances.YouandMackwillhavechildren.”“I’mdone,”Susiesaid
flatly.“AndIdon’twantto
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talkaboutit.”“IsMackreadytogive
up?”Susiejuststaredather,her
expressioncompletelyshutdown.Carriegotthemessageanddroppedthesubject.“I’msorryifIupsetyou,”
Carrieapologized.Susiesighed.“AndI’m
sorryfortakingmylousymoodoutonyou.”“Please.I’mfamily,andI
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knowhowbadlyyouwantchildren.Ido,too,butIknowit’snotthesame.”“Right.Youcouldget
pregnantanytime.Ican’t.”Susiewincedathertone.“Sorry.Again.It’sironichowalloftheO’Briensseemtoprocreateatthedropofthehat,andthenthere’sme.Lookatyoursister.Caitlyndidn’twanttogetmarriedorhaveababy,butheresheis
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withagreathusbandandadarlinglittleboy,andI’mnotsuresheappreciateseitherone.”“Ofcourseshedoes,”
Carriesaid,immediatelyjumpingtothedefenseofhertwin.“Itwasjustabigadjustment.Shehadherwholelifemappedout.”“Iguesswhattheysay
aboutbest-laidplansistrue,”Susiesaid.“Theydotendto
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goawry.IthoughtifIcouldeventuallyconvinceMacktolookatmetwice,we’dlivehappilyeverafter.”“YouandMackaresolid,”
Carrieremindedher.Susie’seyesturnedmisty.
“Iknow,andIthankGodforthateverysingleday.Mackstoodbyme—heevenmarriedmenotknowinghowlongImightlive.Mostmenwouldhavebailed.”
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“Andyou’llgetthatbaby,justmaybenotonthetimetableyou’dhopedfor,”Carriesaidconfidently.Susiemanagedafaint
smile.“FromyourlipstoGod’sear,”shewhispered.Carriesqueezedherhand.
“It’llhappen.O’Briensalwaysmakethingshappen.”Susiedrewinadeep
breath,thensquaredhershouldersandfacedthe
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computer.“Let’sseeaboutfindingaspotforthatdaycare.Whoknows?MaybeI’llcomeandworkforyouandgetmyfixofbabiesthatway.”“Suze,”Carriesaidquietly,
thenwaitedforhercousintofaceher.“Therewillalwaysbeaspotforyou,evenifyoujustwanttospendyourlunchhourhangingout,okay?”“Thanks.”
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Buttheybothknewthatcaringforotherpeople’schildren,nomatterhowrewarding,wouldneverquitefilltheemptyplaceineitheroftheirhearts.
***
AfewdayslaterCarriehadjustpulledahotcookiesheetfromtheovenwhenhergrandfatherbargedintoher
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kitchenwithoutbotheringtoknock.“What’sthisIhearabout
youopeningaday-carecenter?”Mickasked,hisvoiceboomingthroughthesmallspace.“You’vebeentalkingto
Susie,”sheconcluded.“ActuallyIwastalkingto
mybrother.JefftoldmeSusiehasbeenshowingyoupropertiesandthatyou’ve
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alreadyappliedforalicense.Whatsortofnonsenseisgoingoninthatheadofyours?Whydidn’tyoudiscussthiscockamamyplanwithmebeforeyoudivedin?”Carriedroppedthecookie
sheetontothetablewithaclattershehopedwouldbeahintofjusthowannoyedshewas.Naturallyhergrandfatherwasoblivious.
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She’dexpectedthisreactionfromhim,butthatdidn’tkeepitfromhurting.“You’reanO’Brien,”he
declared.“You’remeanttobedoinggreatthings,notbabysittingotherpeople’schildren.”“Evenifsomeofthose
childrenareO’Briens?”Hescowledather.“There
areplentyofpeopleinthisfamilytolookoutforour
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own.Notaoneofthemneedstobeinsomeimpersonaldaycare.”“SonowI’mproviding
impersonalcare?”shechallenged.“YouknowwhatImean,”
hesaid.“ActuallyIdo.Youmean
thatI’mlettingyoudownyetagain.Youdidn’tapproveofitwhenIwasinEuropeworkinginfashion.Thenyou
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weredisappointedinmeforquittingthatjobandcomingbackhere.YouwerethoroughlyfrustratedwhenIdidn’tjumponthebandwagonandtakeupCaitlyn’sfavoritecauseinAfrica.Sorry,GrandpaMick,IguessI’mjustdestinedtobeahugefailureinyoureyes.”Asherheatedwordsand
thetearsstinginghereyesregisteredwithhim,he
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lookedstunned.“Ineversaidanysuchthing.”“Didn’tyou?Worse,you
justreferredtosomethingI’mtrulyexcitedaboutasacockamamyidea.”“Carrie,sweetheart,allI
wantisforyoutobehappy.”“AndIthinkthiswillmake
mehappy,”shetoldhim,swipingangrilyathertears.“Ireallydo.Ilovekids.RightnowIdon’tseeanychildren
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ofmyowninmyimmediatefuture,sothisworksforme.I’mgoodwithkids.Askanyone.”“Well,ofcourseyouare.
I’veseenyouatthehousereadingstoriesandplayinggameswithallyourlittlecousins.You’veagift,noquestionaboutit,”hesaid,clearlybackpedalingasfastashecould.Hisexpressionturned
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thoughtful.“Seemstome,though,whatyoureallyneedisamanandahousefulofkidsofyourown.”Carriegavehimahorrified
look.“Donotgetanyideasaboutmatchmaking,GrandpaMick.Imeanit.RightnowIneedtofocusonthisnewbusiness.Iwanttodoitright.Whenit’supandrunningandsuchahugesuccessthatevenyouwillbeimpressed,then
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I’llthinkaboutmysociallife.Andwhenthatdaycomes,IwantyoutorememberthatI’mperfectlycapableoffindingtherightmanwithoutanyhelpfromyou.”Hergrandfatherdidn’t
appearimpressedbyherdeclaration.“Areyou,now?IsthereonelurkingaboutI’venotseen?ThatSamWinslowfellow,perhaps?”“LeaveSamoutofthis.
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Therearelotsofmenlurkingabout,asyouputit,”shesaid,silentlybeggingforgivenessfortheblatantlie.“EverywhereIturn,infact.”“Thenyou’llbebringing
onetoSundaydinner,Iimagine,”hesaid.Checkandcheckmate,she
thoughtwitharesignedsigh.“Sure,”shesaid,wonderingwhoshemightdraftfortheassignment.Itneededtobe
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somebodytoughenoughtowithstandMick’sscrutinyandwillingtoplaythegameforafewhoursonaSundayafternoon.Becausehisnamehadjust
comeupandbecauseanimageofSampoppedintoherheadalltooregularly,sheconsideredhimasapossibility.Badidea,shetoldherself.Thenagain,atleasthewouldcomeawaywitha
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decentmealandsomenewfriendsforhislittleboy.Shewouldn’tgolooking
forhim,butiftheycrossedpathsbetweennowandSunday,whatwastheharminasking?Sheglanceduptofindher
grandfathermunchingonawarmchocolate-chipcookieandregardinghersuspiciously.“Youaren’tthinkingof
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tryingtoputoneoveronme,areyou?”heasked.Shemusteredhermost
innocentexpression.Giventhenumberoftimesshe’dbeencalledupontouseitwiththisveryman,shehaditdownpat.“Absolutelynot,”shetoldhim.Hegavealittlenodof
satisfaction.“ThenI’llseeyouonSunday.”Hepickedupanother
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coupleofcookiesandleftthroughthekitchendoor.Carriesighedheavily.Thatgaveherexactlythreedaystofindthemanofherdreams...oratleastsomeonewillingtoplaytherole.
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14
OnSaturdaySamstoodjustinsidethefrontdoorofthelittlehouseonWillowBrookRoadasBobbyracedthroughtherooms,thesoundofhisfootstepsontheshinyhardwoodfloorsechoingintheemptyspace.
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He’djustboughthimselfahouse,hethought,amazementandpanicwashingoverhim.Herehewas,amanwho’dneverplannedtoputdownroots,andhewassuddenlytheownerofahousewithamortgageandtheparentofagrief-strickenlittleboy.SomewhereGodmustbehavingareallygoodlaughathisexpense,becausethe
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carefreelifehe’denvisionedforhimselfhaddefinitelygoneupinsmoke.Hewasalittleastonished
athowquicklyandsmoothlythepurchasehadhappened.Whenhe’dfinallycalledafterhisdinnerwithCarrie,Susiehadleapedintoaction.She’dclearlybeenhighlymotivatedandapparentlyinChesapeakeShoreswhenO’Brienswereinyourcorner,creditreports
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andpaperworkcouldbehandledwithlightningspeed.Susiehadn’twastedtime
dragginghimallovertown.She’dbroughthimstraighttothishouseandletthecozylittlecottagespeakforitself.Sammighthavehesitatedfordays,weighedthemeritsofbuyingahouseatall,ratherthanrenting,butBobby’sinitialenthusiasmhadbeencontagious.Listeningtohis
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exuberantshoutsechothroughtheemptyroomsandwatchinghiseyeswidenwithdelightwhenhespottedbothaswingandatreehouseinthebackyardhadclinchedthedealforSam.Everythingafterthathadbeenallaboutthepaperwork.“Nottoworry,”Susiehad
assuredhim.“I’vealreadyspokentothesellerandyoucanmoveinassoonasyou
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wantto.Mackspoketothebankandreassuredthemyourjobissolid.Allyouneedtodoissignanendlessnumberofpapers,packup,getsomefurnitureinhereandyou’reallset.MycousinConnorwillhandleallthelegalities.”Samhadbeenastonished.
“Justlikethat?Dothingsalwaysgothissmoothly?I’veheardhorrorstoriesaboutbuyingahouse.”
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She’dsimplyshrugged.“Inthistown,connectionshelp.”Theycertainlydid,Sam
concluded.He’devenbeenabletoarrangeforthebedshe’dboughtjustyesterday—akingforhim,thebunkbedsBobbyhadinsistedon—tobedeliveredfirstthingthismorning.Susieorsomeoneshe’ddesignatedhadmadeacallandthestorehadbeenmorethanhappyto
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cooperate.He’dhadtocallCarrieandNelltocancelthisweek’scookinglesson,butthisdeliveryhadtakenprecedence.Thetruckhadbeenwaitinginthedrivewaybyeighto’clockandthehastilypurchasedfurniturewasalreadyinplace.Susiehadmadeafewmore
callsandO’Brienshadofferedadditionalfurniturefromatticsandextrasetsof
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dishestheysworeweren’tbeingused,butthatwouldhappenduringthisnextweek.Inthemeantime,heandBobbycouldputtheirclothesinthefreshlypaintedclosetsandsleepintheirownbeds.BobbywaselatedbythenewSpider-Mansheetsonhislowerbunkandthematchingnight-lightthathadalreadybeenpluggedin.Theonlythingmissing,
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Samconcludedwithasigh,wasarefrigeratorstockedwithcoldbeer.Hecouldreallyuseoneaboutnowashefacedhisnewreality.“Knock,knock.”Thehesitant,musicalvoice
cutintohisthoughts.Ormaybeitwasthearomaoffreshlybakedcookiesthatcaughthisattentionfirst.Heturned,andtherewasCarrie,hercheeksnaturallyrosy
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frombaking,herauburnhaircurlingaboutherface.ShewaswearingshortsandaChesapeakeShoresT-shirtandlookedalittletooapproachable.Hecouldsuddenlyenvisioncominghometohereverynightandfindingherinhiskitchenlookingjustlikethis,thearomaofoneofNell’sspecialtiestheyweremasteringwaftingfromthe
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kitchen.“Hi,”hesaid,thengestured
aroundtheemptyspace.“I’dinviteyouin,but,asyoucansee,chairsareinshortsupply.”“That’sokay.I’mjust
droppingoffcookiestowelcomeyoutotheneighborhood.I’malittlestunnedbyhowquicklyyoupulledthisoff.”“Me,too,”headmitted.“I
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hadn’teventhoughtaboutthismovemakingusneighbors.Youokaywiththat?”Carriefrowned.“Why
wouldn’tIbe?”“Wesortofagreedtokeep
ourdistance,right?ForBobby’ssake?”“We’lljusthavetoworka
littlehardertomakesurehedoesn’tgetthewrongidea,”shesaid.
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Samwonderedwhatshe’dthinkoftheideashewasgettingrightnow.Wasitpossiblethatchocolate-chipcookieswereanaphrodisiac?Shelookedfarmoretemptingthanthatplateofcookies.Hesuddenlyrealizedshe
wasstudyinghimwithapuzzledlook.“Ifyou’rereallyworried,
youshouldknowthatIdon’tintendtomakeahabitofthis.
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Ijustwantedtowelcomeyou.It’sagreatneighborhood.Ididn’tevenrealizethishousewasonthemarketorI’dhavementionedittoyoumyself.Thelocationcouldn’tbemoreconvenienttotownandthehouseisabsolutelycharming.”Samdidn’tknowwhat
qualifiedahouseascharming,butthisonedidfeelexactlyrightsomehow.It
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evenhadaworkingfireplaceinthelivingroom,built-inbookshelvesandoneofthosewhitepicketfenceshe’dalwaysthoughttobetheworstsortofclichéforthekindofquaint,suburbanlifehedidn’tintendtolive.Howoftenhadheexpressedhisdisdainforsuchalifetohissister.Shemustbehavingagoodlaughatthewayshe’dturnedhislifeupsidedown.
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HerealizedCarriewasagainstudyinghimintently.“Sorry,”heapologized.“IguessI’malittledistracted.”“Iknowyou’rejustsettling
inandmusthaveamillionthingstodo,soIwon’tbotheryou,butifthere’sanythingIcandotohelp,letmeknow,okay?”Sheglancedaroundattheemptyroomagain.“Howareyougoingtomanagewithoutfurniture?”
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Hesmiled.“Wehavebeds.That’lldoforacoupleofnights.”“Whataboutdishes?Pots
andpan?”“Allinduetime,”hesaid.
“IgatherfromSusiethatshe’sbeenraidingvariousO’BrienatticsandwillbebringingincastoffsonMonday.Afterthat,I’llbeshoppingforwhateverelseweneed.”
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“Well,then,IguessI’lltakeoff,”shesaidandstarteddownthesteps.Asshereachedthesidewalk,sheturnedback.“Idon’tsupposethetwoofyouwouldliketogotomygrandfather’sfordinnertomorrow,wouldyou?It’llbetheusualSundaymadhouse,butNell’scooking,soIcanpromiseyouadeliciousmeal,andit’llgiveBobbyachancetomake
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somemorefriends.”Samhesitated.Givenwhat
she’dtoldhimabouthergrandfather’smatchmakingtendenciesandwhathe’dseenforhimselfwhenMickhadcomebythenewspaperoffice,maybethiswasn’tsuchahotidea.Carriewasskittishenoughandneitherofthemneededextrapressurethesedays.Hewasoverwhelmedbyallthe
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suddenchangesinhislifestyleandshewassortingthroughamilliondetailstodecidewhethertoopenthatdaycare.Allveryvalidconsiderations,heconcluded.Intheend,though,hehad
tothinkaboutBobby.ItwouldbeawholeloteasierforhimtoadjusttoChesapeakeShoresifhewassurroundedbyevenmorekidshisage.Samwantedhim
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tofeelasifhebelongedhere,ratherthanconstantlyhearingthathewantedtogobackhometoseehisrealfriends.“Areyousureit’llbeokay
ifyoubringacoupleoflast-minuteguests?”Shelaughedatthat.
“You’llsee.InthemobsceneatGrandpaMick’s,they’llbarelynoticetwomore.AndyoualreadyknowSusieandMack,plusmeandLuke,so
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youwon’tfeelthatoutofplace.Andyou’vemetmygrandfatherandsurvived,soitshouldbeallgood.Nellwill,nodoubt,seizethechancetogiveusbothanothercookinglesson.She’scomplainedaboutusmissingthepastcoupleofSaturdays.”Samnodded.“Okay,then.
Thanksfortheinvitation.”“Wouldyouliketoride
overwithme?”sheasked.
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“There’snoreasontotaketwocars,sincewe’reneighbors.”“Whydon’tIdrive?”he
suggestedinstead.“MycarhasBobby’sboosterseat.”“Sure.I’llwalkoverhere
justbeforefive.”Shegavehimawaveandtookoff.Samstoodinthedoorway
andwatchedhergo,enjoyingtheswayofherhipsinthoseshortsprobablyalittlemore
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thanheshould.Bobbyslippedupbesidehimandtuckedahandinhis.“WasthatCarrie?”he
asked.“Itwas.”“Whywasshehereand
whydidn’tIgettoseeher?”“Shecametoinviteusto
Sundaydinnerwithherfamilytomorrow.”HeruffledBobby’shairandwavedtheplateofcookiesunderhis
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nose.“Andshebroughtahousewarmingpresent.”“Cookies!”Bobbyguessed
atonce.“CanIhavesome?”“Justone,”Samsaid.
“Thenweneedtogotothegrocerystoretobuymilkandsomeothersupplies.”“Peanutbutterandjellyfor
schoollunches?”“Ifthat’swhatyouwant.”“Andcheeseandbreadto
makegrilledcheese
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sandwichesforhere?”“Sure.”“Andpancakes?”WhenSamhesitated,
Bobbysaid,“Theymakefrozenones.Dowehaveatoaster?”“Notyet,butwewill,”
Samsaid,movingthattothetopofhismentallistofnecessities.“IfwedrivetothebigWalmartonthemainhighway,wecangetfoodand
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atoaster.”“Allright!”Bobby
enthused,shovingthelastofhiscookieintohismouth.“Let’sgo.”Samcouldn’thelp
chuckling.Apparentlywhenproperlymotivated,BobbyforgotallabouthowmuchhemissedhomeandwasreadytoembraceChesapeakeShores.Allittookwasthepromiseofafewfamiliar
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treats...andwarmcookiesfromaneighborwhowassneakingpastSam’sdefenses,too.
***
OnSunday,CarrieintroducedSamandBobbytoherrelatives,takinggreatcaretostressthathewasaneighborandnewtotown,thenaddinghisconnectiontoSusieand
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Mack.Atleastthat’swhatshediduntiltheyreachedhergrandfather.“GrandpaMick,you
alreadyknowSamWinslow,”shesaid.“Iunderstandyoumethimatthenewspaperoffice.”Iftherewasatinyflicker
ofguiltinhergrandfather’seyes,itwashastilyreplacedbyasatisfiedgleam.ShehopedSamwasobliviousto
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it.“Andwhowouldthisbe?”
Mickasked,reachingoutahandtoBobby.“Thisismynephew,
Bobby,”Samsaid.“IbelieveImentionedtoyouthathe’sjustcometolivewithme.Bobby,shakeMr.O’Brien’shand.”Bobbyhesitantlyreached
outforMick’shand,thenlookedsurprisedwhenhe
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cameawaywithawrappedpieceofpennycandy.Carriechuckled.“Bobby,you’regoingto
findthatmygrandfatherhasanever-endingsupplyofcandyfromEthel’sEmporium.”Bobbygrinnedshyly.
“Cool.”HelookedupatSam.“CanIhaveitnow?”“Idon’tthinkonepiece
willspoilyourappetite,”Samsaid,thengavehimalookof
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mockseverity.“Butjustone,understood?”“Youmaybetellingthatto
thewrongperson,”Carrietoldhim,noddingtowardhergrandfather.“Oh,stopyourfussing,”
Mickgrumbled.“Youenjoyedyourshareoftreatsfrommewhenyouwerehisage.Nowwhydon’tyouintroduceBobbytosomeoftheotherkids,whileSamand
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Ihaveachat.”Carrieregardedher
grandfatherwithalarm,butknewbetterthantoargue.“Comeon,Bobby.Ithinkthere’sawholeslewofkidsplayingintheyard.Shallwelookforthem?”Bobbylookedhesitant,but
Samgavehisshoulderareassuringsqueeze.“I’llberighthere,”hepromised.Carrieheldoutherhand
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andBobbyimmediatelytookit,thenfollowedheroutsidewhereahalfadozenO’Briengrandchildrenwereracingacrossthelawninanimprovisedgameofhide-and-seek.TheinstanttheyspottedCarrie,theystoppedandranover.“Carrie,areyougoingto
playwithus?”Seanasked,hisblueeyesregardingherhopefully.Seanwasthe
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surpriseblessingwho’dcomeintoheruncleThomas’slifeafterheandtheyoungerConniehadmarried.“Notrightnow,butI’ve
broughtalongsomeonewhowouldlovetojoinyou,”Carrietoldhim.“ThisisBobby.”ShekneltdownandputherarmaroundBobby’swaist,thenpointedouteachofthechildren.“ThisisSean,andthat’sEmilyRose.You
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alreadyknowDaveyandJohnny.Andthislittleguyhereismybrother,Patrick.Hedoesn’trunasfastastheothersyet,somaybeyoucanlookoutforhim.”Bobby’schestswelledjust
alittleatbeingaskedtobetheyoungerboy’sprotector.“Icandothat.”“Comeon,then,”Sean
encouraged.“Henry’sitandwe’resupposedtobehiding
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fromhim.Icanshowyouthebestspots.”Bobbyglancedupather.
“Isitokay?”“Ofcourse.I’llbewaiting
foryourighthereontheporch.”SheloweredherselftothetopstepandwatchedasBobbyjoinedin,hesitantlyatfirst,andthenwiththeexuberanceofatypicalsix-year-old.“He’shavingfun.”
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SheheardthesurpriseinSam’svoiceandglancedup.“Sometimesthechancetojustbeakidcanhelpwithallthegrown-upemotionsalittleboydoesn’tknowhowtohandle.”Samdroppeddownbeside
her.“I’vetriedsohardnottolethimseehowsadandscaredIam.”“I’msureyou’redoing
fine.”
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“IwishIcouldbelievethat.”Heglancedsidewaysather,hiseyesshadowed.“It’sprettyoverwhelmingsometimes.Ican’tbelieveLaurelandRobertaregoneorthattheyleftBobbyinmycare.Whatweretheythinking?”“Thatyou’ddoagreatjob
withhim,”Carriesaid.“Youare,youknow.Despitealltheadjustmentsyou’rehavingto
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make,you’remanaging.”Helookedstartled.“That’s
highpraisecomingfromyou.”“You’veearnedit.”She
noddedinthedirectionofthehouse.“How’ditgointhere?”Samturnedtofaceherand
grinned.“IhadtheoddestsensationthatonceagainIwasbeinginterrogatedaspotentialhusbandmaterial.
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Youwouldn’tknowanythingaboutthat,wouldyou?”Carriecouldfeelablush
staininghercheeks.“GrandpaMickisaninveteratematchmaker.Iwarnedyouaboutthat.Paynoattentiontohim.”Henudgedherwithan
elbow.“Tellthetruth,Carrie.Didyouinvitemeheretodaytogivehimtheideathatwe’redating?”
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Shesighed.“Maybe,justalittle.Hestoppedbythehousetheotherdayandgotonmycaseaboutfindingaman.ItoldhimIhadlotsofprospects,whenthetruthistherearenone.SinceIdidn’twanthimtodecidetofillthatparticularvoidinmylife,Idecidedtoinviteyouheretoday.AllthestuffaboutBobbymakingnewfriendswastrue,too.Itseemedlikea
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win-win.”Shegavehimanimploringlook.“Canyouplayalong,justfortheafternoon?”Toherrelief,Samlooked
moreamusedthandistressed,“Gee,pretendtobeinterestedinabeautifulwomanforacoupleofhours?EspeciallywhenI’vehadnoluckuptillnowgettinghertogooutwithme?Hmm,Idon’tknow.”Heheldhergaze.
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“That’saskingalot.”Shenudgedhimback.“Are
youuptothetask?”“Justhowseriousdoes
yourgrandfathergetabouthismatchmaking?Willhebebookingthechurchforaweddingnextweek?ShouldIavoidsigningthefinalpapersforthehousejustincaseIneedtomakeahastygetaway?”Carrielaughed.“IthinkI
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canholdhimoffonthat.We’veallhadalotofexperienceatkeepingGrandpaMickfromgettingaheadofhimself.It’sjustthatit’seasiertoplayalongandlethimthinkthere’ssomeonespecialinourlives.I’mcatchingenoughgriefovermycareerchoicethesedays.Idon’tneedhimbuggingmeaboutmen,too.”“Howistheday-care
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locationhuntcomingalong?Wehaven’thadmuchofachancetotalkaboutitsinceyoustartedlookingatproperty.”Carriebeamedathim.“Not
quiteascrazyfastasyourhousehunt,butIthinkI’vefoundtheperfectspotforitjustoffofMainStreet.Thekidswouldbeabletoplayonthetowngreeningoodweather.Ithasabigyard,
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too.Julieandherdaughteraregoingtocomeovernextweekendtotakealook.Iftheythinkit’sasperfectasIdo,I’llputinanoffer.They’vepromisedtowalkmethroughanynecessaryrenovations.IhaveahunchonceIcangetmygrandfatherinvolvedinthatproject,he’llbackoffonhissearchfortheperfectmanforme.Thetruthisherevelsinbeinginvolved
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inourlivesandaprojectlikethatwillbetotallyabsorbing,evenifit’sathousandtimessmallerthanwhatheusedtodowhenhedesignedandsupervisedthebuildingofwholetownsthewayhedidwithChesapeakeShores.”“Howlongarethose
renovationslikelytotake?”Saminquired.“Probablynotlongenough
tokeepussafefromhis
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meddlingformorethanamonth.Braceyourself.”SherealizedSamwas
studyinghercuriously.“What?”sheasked.“I’msurprised,that’sall.
Notthatlongagoyouweremakingapro-conlistandnowyou’reobviouslyallin.”Shelaughed.“Iam,and
you’renotthefirsttocommentonmysuddenenthusiasm.Mywholefamily
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seemstornbetweenreliefthatI’vefoundanewdirectionandshockthatit’ssomethinglikedaycare.”Sheshrugged.“WhatcanIsay?WorkingatJulie’splacehasreinforcedwhatIalreadyknewaboutmyself.”“Whichis?”“Ilovebeingaroundkids,
especiallylittleones.They’reendlesslycuriousandsweetlyinnocent.”
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“Andyou’resurethisiswhatyouwanttodowithyourlife?NolingeringlongingtorunofftoEuropeorNewYork?”“I’mmoresureofthisthan
Ihavebeenaboutanythinginalongtime,”shesaidwithconfidence,thensmiledasPatrickwanderedoverandsnuggledagainsther.“Mylittlebrother,”shetoldSam.“Momgotalatestartona
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secondfamily.We’reafamilythat’sjustfullofsurprises.”“Icanseethat,”Samsaid,
hiswarmgazefilledwithappreciation.“Whataboutyourfamily?”“There’sjustBobbyand
menow,”hesaid,griefonceagaindarkeninghiseyes.“Myfolksdiedacoupleofyearsago,justmonthsapart.Andyoualreadyknowabout
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theaccidentthattookmysister.”“Noothersiblings?”Heshookhishead.“Ican’timaginegrowing
upwithoutahugefamily,”shesaid.“Iwassoluckytobepartofthisone.”Samgazedaroundatthe
children,who’dnowbeenjoinedbyseveraloftheadultsinanincreasinglyrambunctiousgameoftag.
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Hisexpressionturnedwistful.“Icanunderstandthat.”Somethinginhisvoice,
though,suggestedotherwise.“Evenso,youfinditalittleoverwhelming,don’tyou?”Heshrugged.“Tobe
honest,yes.I’vealwaysbeenabitofaloner.Nowthatthere’sBobbytoconsider,I’mgoingtohavetochangemyways.Nomoreall-nightersforwork.Nomore
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forgettingtoeatoreventobuygroceries.BobbyandIhitthestoretostockupyesterdayandtheamountoffoodinmygrocerycartwasprobablymorethanIboughtinsixmonthsinthepast.Imightevenhavetofigureouthowtousethewashingmachineand,heavenforbid,aniron.”Heshuddereddramatically.“Kidsdoneedfood,”she
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said.“Andattention,andsleep,andaroutine.Itprobablydoesn’tmattersomuchiftheirclothesaren’tironed.”“AllstuffI’mnotvery
goodat,”Samsaid.“You’lllearn,”shesaid
confidently.“AndyoualreadyhavetheonethingBobbyneedsthemostrightnow.”“What’sthat?”
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“Youlovehim.”Shecouldseeitinhiseyes
ashewatchedhisnephew.Sammightbeterrifiedatbeingthrustintothisnewroleofbeingresponsibleforanotherperson,buthelovedthatlittleboy.Seeingthatmadeherfalljustalittlebitinlovewithbothofthem.Andthatdefinitelywasn’tmeanttobepartoftoday’shastilydevisedschemetogether
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grandfatheroffherback.
***
SamwassurprisinglycontentsittingontheporchstepnexttoCarrieaskidsracedaroundtheyard,shoutingexuberantly.Whileitwasafarcryfromthequiet,carefreeexistencehe’dliveduptillnow,therewassomethingalluringaboutthe
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friendlycompetitivenessandthelaughterthatechoedthroughtheair.“IthoughtI’dheardthat
thetwoofyouwereouthere,”avoicesaidfromabovethem.Samlookedaroundtosee
Nellontheporch,handsonherhips.Despitethescoldingnoteinhervoice,therewasatwinkleinhereyes.“Hi,Gram,”Carriesaid,
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flushing.“Didyouneedsomething?”“Ineedalittlehelpfrom
twopeoplewhomissedtheircookinglessonagainyesterdaywithabunchofflimsyexcuses.Iimagineyoucouldbothusesomeexperiencewithgettingpotroastforthiscrowdontothetable.”Samreadilyjumpedtohis
feet.“Whatcanwedoto
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help?”“Comewithme,”Nell
commanded.WhenCarriestayedput,shefrowned.“You,too.”“Somebodyneedstokeep
aneyeonBobby,”Carrieprotested.“Thereareatleastten
responsibleadultsintheyard,”Nellcountered.“IncludingKevin.Tellyouruncletokeepaneyeon
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Bobbyalongwithhisownkids.”“Yes,ma’am,”Carriesaid
dutifully.InthemeantimeSam
followedNellintothekitchen.Shealreadyhadthebulkofthemealwellunderway,butsheassignedhimthetaskofmakinggravy.“ButI’venevermade
gravyinmylife,”Samprotested.
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Nellchuckled.“ExactlywhyI’mheretoteachyou,youngman.”“Oh,gravy!”Carriesaid
whenshejoinedthem.“Gram’sgravyisthebest.”“Itmightbewisetoavoid
ittoday,”Samsaid,agrimexpressiononhisfaceashestirredwhatlookedtohimlikeaglutinousmess.Nellglancedoverhis
shoulder.“Didyoumeasure
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thecornstarchorjustdumpinhalfthebox?”“Itdidn’tlookasifitwas
thickeningatfirst,”Samadmitted.“SoIaddedalittlemore.”“Cookingislikealotof
thingsinlife.Itcan’tberushed,”Nelladmonished.“Itrequirespatience.”“Somethinginshortsupply
inthisfamily,”Carriecommented.
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“Unfortunatelytrue,”Gramreplied.“Let’sseeifyou’reanybetteratthisthanhewas.”Shegesturedtoward
anotherpanofdrippingsfromtheroast,thencoachedherthroughthestepsandingredientsneededtomakehersmooth,richgravy.“Better,”shesaid
approvingly.“Yougetalittleredstar.”
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“Notgold?”Carrieasked.“Isitperfect?”Nellasked.“No,”Carrieadmittedwith
achagrinedexpression.“Thenyoudon’tgetgold,
doyou?”“HowaboutSam?”Carrie
asked,provingthatcompetitivenessexistedeverywherewithO’Briens.“Hegetstodoitagainat
myhousenextSaturdaytillhegetsitright.I’dmakehim
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tryagainrightnow,butweneedtogetthisfoodonthetable.Startdishingitup,Carrie.Sam,youcanputitonthedining-roomtable.”“Isshealwaysthisbossy?”
heaskedinanundertonethathemeanttobeoverheard.Carrielaughed.“Even
GrandpaMickandhisbrotherscowerwhenshespeaks,”shesaid.“NowthatI’dliketosee,”
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Samsaid.“Stickaround,”Nelltold
him,smiling.“Mysonsusuallygivemesomereasonoranothertotakethemtotaskbeforethedayisout.”SomehowSamfoundthe
thoughtofthiswonderful,diminutivewomanbeingabletohandletheall-powerfulMickO’Brienveryreassuring.Maybehecouldfollowherexampleandlearn
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toholdhisownwithMick—andevenCarrie—whenhehadto.
***
“Haveyouwatchedher?”SusiewassayingtoJessjustasCarriewasabouttowalkontotheporchafterlunch.Hercousin’svoicecarriedinsideandsomethingmadeCarriecometoastoplong
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enoughtolisten.“Thewayshe’slatchedon
toSamissoobvious.Allthistalkaboutopeningadaycaredoesn’tmeanathing,”Susiecontinued.“Whatshe’sreallyinterestedinisfindingamanandaready-madefamily.”Carrieknewtherewaslittle
questionthatSusiewastalkingabouther.ShewaitedforherauntJess’sresponse.“I’mnotseeingthat,”Jess
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respondedquietly.“Sure,Carrie’sbeenpitchingintohelpout,butanyoneinthisfamilywoulddothesame.You’vecertainlydoneyoursharetogetSamandBobbyintoanewhousewithaminimumoffuss.Andyou’vebeenscouringatticsforfurnituretheycoulduse.Doesthatmeanyou’reafterSam?”“Ofcoursenot,”Susie
said.“That’sentirely
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different.”“How?”“I’mjusthelping.Carrie
obviouslyhasanulteriormotive.”Carriefrozeinplaceatthe
horribleaccusation.BeforeshecouldworkupafullheadofsteamandconfrontSusieherself,Jessdiditforher.“That’saprettyterrible
thingtoaccuseyourcousinofdoing,”Jesssaid.“SinceI
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knowyou’renotinterestedinSamyourselfbecauseyou’rehappilymarriedtoMack,somethingtellsmethisisreallyaboutBobby.AmIright?Didyouwanttobetheonewhohelpedthatlittleboyadapttobeinginanewtown?”Silencefell,andfora
moment,CarriethoughtSusiemightnotanswer.“Maybe,”shefinally
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admittedinasmallvoice.SheregardedJessmiserably.“It’ssoobviousthatSam’snotqualifiedtobeanyone’sfather.EvenCarriesawthatforherself.Heleftthatchildinacarallalone,foronething.Whoknowshowmanymistakeshe’sgoingtomakeandwhatcouldhappentoBobbybecauseSam’ssocareless?AndCarrie,ofallpeople,isgoingtojumpin
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andsavetheday?Oneminuteshe’slivingitupinEurope.Thenextshe’sopeningadaycare.Comeon.Whatdoesthattellyouaboutherstability?”Carriefeltasifshe’dbeen
slapped.Ratherthangoingoutsidetodefendherself,shewhirledaroundtogothroughthehouseandleaveforhome.“Don’tyoudarerun
away,”hermothersaid
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gently,standinginherpath.She’dobviouslyoverheardmostofSusie’sremarks,aswell.“Youknowshe’swrong.Susieisjustupsetwithherownsituation.She’slashingoutatanyoneandeveryonerightnow.ThesituationwithSamandBobbyhasstirredupallthoseunrequitedmaternalinstinctsshehasandshe’smadeyoutheenemy.”
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“Igetthat,”Carrieconceded.“Butnooneinthisfamilyhaseversaidsuchspitefulthingsaboutmeoranyoneelsebefore.”Sheregardedhermomwithrealdismaytwistinginhergut.“Youdon’tthinkI’mthatfrivolous,doyou?Andyoudon’tthinkI’mtryingtolatchontoSam,justsoIcanhaveafamily?Iwouldneverdothat.Ifanything,I’vebeen
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ignoringthesparkofattractionbetweenusbecauseIdon’tthinkitwouldbesmarttostartsomethingupwithSamwhenthere’sascaredlittleboyinthemixwhocouldgethurt.”“Tryreservingsomeofthat
compassionforSusie,”hermothersaid.“She’shurtingrightnow.Shedoesn’tknowwhatshe’ssaying.Trytorememberhowmuchpainshe
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mustbeintofeeltheneedtoattackyou.Don’tthinkI’msuggestingforaminutethatshedoesn’toweyouanapology,butconsiderthecircumstancesandtrytocutheralittleslack.Onceshehasherfeetbackunderher,she’llseehowwrongshe’sbeen.”“Well,it’sprettyunlikely
that’sgoingtohappentoday.Ishouldleavebeforeweget
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intoitandruinthedayforeveryone.”“Didn’tyourideoverwith
Sam?”“Yes,butyoucantellhim
somethingcameupandIhadtoleave.Icanwalkhome.”Shegavehermomapleadinglook.“Please.”Abbylookedasifshe
didn’tagree,buteventuallyshenodded.“I’lltellhim.”ShegaveCarrieafiercehug.
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“Trytoputthiswholeincidentoutofyourheadandpleasedon’tletitspoilallofyourexcitementaboutopeningaday-carecenter.”“I’lltry,”shepromised.ButSusie’scruel
comments,nomatterthepainthatwasunderlyingthem,weren’tsomethingshewaslikelytobeabletogetoutofherheadanytimesoon.
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15
“I’mworriedaboutSusie,”MackconfidedtoJakeandWill,histwobestfriends.ItwasafterSundaydinneratMick’sandthethreelifelongfriends—allofthemmarriedtoO’Briens—hadretreatedtotheAdirondackchairs
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overlookingthebay,wheretheyhadsomeprivacyamidtheraucousgamesbeingplayedbytheyoungergeneration.“Whyisthat?”Willasked.
Apsychologist,hehadinsightstheyallreliedonfromtimetotime.AsthehusbandofMick’syoungestdaughter,Jess,theowneroftheInnatEaglePoint,Willunderstoodthefamily
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dynamicsaswellasanyofthem.“Thewholeadoption
processistakingalotlongerthaneitherofusimagined,”Macksaid,hisownfrustrationevident.AroundSusie,hedidhisbesttobeupbeatandencouraging,butthesituationwasgettingtohim,too.“Havingthisprivateadoptionfallthroughatthelastminutewasdevastating
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forher.Susieinsistsshe’sthroughtrying,butIcanseethelonginginhereyeseverytimewe’rearoundtheotherkidsinthefamily.Shealmostbalkedatcomingtoday.WhenIaskedwhy,shecameupwithsomelameexcuse,butIknowit’sbecauseshewantsherownbabysobadly.IgotherherebywarningherthatNellwouldstartaskingquestionsifshemissed
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anotherSundaydinner.”“Still,Icanunderstandher
desiretoavoidthesefamilymeals,”Willsaid.“Everywheresheturns,there’seitheranewbabyoroneontheway.That’sboundtohurt.”“Exactly,”Macksaid.“It’s
killingher.It’sturningherintosomeoneIhardlyrecognizeanymore.”“Bree’sworriedabouther,
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too,”Jakeadmitted.“SusiewascomingaroundthehouseprettyregularlytospendtimewithEmilyRose,butshesuddenlystopped.Breecan’tdecidewhethertotalktoheraboutitortoletitgo.AndshementionedthatSusie’sbeenavoidingthewomeninthefamilywhogatheratthecaféinthemornings,too.Soundsasifshe’swithdrawingfromeveryone.”
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“Noteveryone,”Abbysaid,pullingupanotherchairandjoiningthem.“Sorryforeavesdropping,butMack,Iwaslookingforyou.”“Anyparticularreason?”
Mackasked.“Didyouneedtospeakto
himalone?”Willasked,obviouslysensingAbby’smood.EvenMack,whocouldbeprettyoblivioustosuchthings,couldtellshewasn’t
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happy.“Actually,youshould
probablyallhearthis.Will,youmighthavesomeideasabouthowtohandlethesituation,”Abbysaid.Mackregardedherwarily.
“ThisisaboutSusie?”heconcluded.Shenodded.“Iwascoming
outofthehousejustnowandoverheardhertalkingtoJessaboutSam,Bobbyand
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Carrie.”Mackcouldguessfrom
Abby’sprotectiveexpressionwhatthegistoftheconversationhadbeen.Heknewbecausehe’dheardthesameorsimilarcomments.“ShethinksCarrie’smakingamoveonSambecauseofBobbyandthatSam’scompletelylackinginparentingskills.”Abbygavehimastartled
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look.“Prettymuch.She’ssaidthesametoyou?”Macknodded.“Sheknows
she’swrong,butshecan’tseemtohelpherself.It’sthiswholeadoptionfiasco.She’snotthinkingstraight.Forsomereasonshe’sseizedonBobbylikesomesortoflifeline,achildwhomightneedher.”“Well,Idon’tknowhow
oftenshe’sbeentalkinglike
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thisortowhom,”Abbysaid,“butthistimenotonlydidIoverhearher,sodidCarrie.”“Blastit!”Macksaid
heatedly.“Iamsosorry,Abby.Didtheygetintoit?”“No,Carriewalkedaway.I
don’tknowifSusieevenrealizedshewasthere.I’mafraidmydaughtermightnotbequitesoforgivingnexttime.Shewashurtandangry,butshewastryingveryhard
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toputherselfintoSusie’sposition.”SheleveledalookatMack.“Thelastthingwewantisanopenfeudbetweenthosetwowitheveryoneinthefamilytakingsides.”“Ofcoursenot,”Mack
agreed,thenturnedtoWill.“HowamIsupposedtofixthis?”“Talktoher,”Willsaid.
“Gethertoopenuptoyou.”“Doyouthinkit’sthat
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freakingeasy?”Mackretorted.“Shewon’ttalkaboutit.IfIbringuptheadoption,shesnapsmyheadoff.Igetit.Ireallydo,butit’stakingatoll.IsweartherearedayswhenIthinkdealingwiththecancerwaseasierthanthis.Atleastweknewwhatwehadtodothen.Andwestucktogether.Neitherofusknowshowtofixthisandit’sevidenttomethatshe
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thinksshe’sfacingitallalone.”Willregardedhim
thoughtfully.“Inoticedsomethingtodaythatfitswhatbothofyouaresaying.WhenSusiewaswatchingCarriewithSamandBobby,shelookedalmostangry,asifCarriehadstolensomethingfromher.”Macksighedheavily.“I
know.It’sjustasIfeared
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whenItookherovertotheinntomeetBobby.Ithinkshegotthiscrazyideaofjumpingintosavethispoormotherlesslittleboy.ExceptnowCarrie’sobviouslybeathertoit.”“Ifshewon’topenupto
you,doyouthinkshe’dtalktosomeoneelse?”Abbyaskedgently.Mackfrowned.“Youmean
aprofessional?”
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Abbynodded,thengavehishandasympatheticsqueeze.“Look,I’mgoingtoletyouhandlethis.Mebuttinginbeyondalertingyoutotheproblemwon’thelp.Imaybeopen-mindedandrationalaboutalotofthings,butwhenitcomestomykids,I’mgoingtostandupforthem,nomatterwhogetshurtintheprocess.IknowSusiedoesn’tneedme
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comingdownonher.Ifthere’sanythingIcando,though,letmeknow.IknowhowhardthisisandIfeelforSusie.Ireallydo.I’llleaveyoualltofigureoutyournextstep.”Aftershewent,Mack
sighed.“Thisreallydoessuck,”
Jakesaid.“Itdoesn’tsoundlikethereareanyeasyanswers.”
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“CertainlynoneSusie’sgoingtobehappyabout,”Mackagreed.“Shedoesn’tlikeaskingforhelp,evenwhensherecognizeshowdesperatelyshemightneedit.Ontopofthat,she’sprettyprivate.Ican’tseehertalkingtoastranger.”“Whataboutme?”Will
asked.“We’vealwaysbeenclose.Sheusedtoopenuptomeaboutherfeelingsforyou,
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Mack.Atleastshedidbackintheday.I’dbehappytospendsometimewithher,thoughsomebodycompletelyimpartialwithnoconnectiontotheO’Briensatallmightbebetter.”Itwastheobviousnext
step,butMackthoughtheknewhowhiswifewouldreact.She’dthinkhewassidingwiththeenemyinsomeway.“Icansuggestit,”
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hesaid,resignedtoamessyconfrontation.“Somethingtellsme,though,thatitwon’tgooverwell.I’mafraidit’sgoingtodriveanotherwedgebetweenus.”“Try,”Willencouraged
him.“It’simportant,especiallyifyouthinkherfeelingscouldcausearealriftbetweenherandCarrie.Abby’sright.Thatwouldhaveeverybodyinthefamily
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takingsides.O’Briensareusedtostickingtogether.I’mnotsurehowwellthey’dhandlesomethingthat’sboundtodividethem,especiallywhenitcomestosomethinglikethis.Andwesuredon’twanttoseeSamandthatinnocentnephewofhiscaughtupinsomemessyfamilydispute.”“Believeme,Igetit,”
Macksaid.“Noneofuswants
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that.KeepinmindthatSamworksforme.He’sadecentguywho’sdoingthebesthecaninanalreadytoughsituation.”Heshookhisheadwearily.“Atthesametime,Iwantmywifetobehappyandtohaveeverythingsheneeds.”Willregardedhimwith
compassion.“Ifwhatsheneedsisachildrighthereandnow,youmighthaveto
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acceptthisoneisbeyondyourcontrol.”“Couldyou,ifJesswere
thisupset?”Willleveledalookathim,
thensmiledruefully.“Ofcoursenot.I’mjustsayingthatnoneofusmeremortals,noteventheall-powerfulMick,canmakedreamscometrueoncommandeverysingletime.”“ButMickcertainlyhas
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beentherolemodelfortrying,”Macksaid.Theothertwonodded.“Oh,yeah,”Jakesaid.ThetruthwasthatMick
O’Brienhadsetthebarimpossiblyhighforallofthem.Andthewomenintheirliveswereusedtosuccess,notfailure.
***
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WhileAbbyhadofferedatotallyplausibleexplanationforCarrie’sabruptdeparturefromhergrandfather’s—thatshehadpaperworkforthedaycaredueinthemorning—Samcouldn’tshakethefeelingthattherewasalotmoretoit.EventhoughhebarelyknewCarrie’smother,hethoughthe’ddetectedarealhintofworryinhereyes.Ashemadetheturnonto
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WillowBrookRoad,hedroveslowlybythehousehe’ddeterminedwasCarrie’s.Hesawnosignsoflife,notalightoninside,nomovement.Ofcourseshecouldbe
takinganapormaybeshewasn’tevenhome,buthewasstruckonceagainbythesensethatsomethingwasn’tright.Heparkedinhisown
driveway,hesitatedjustlong
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enoughtodrawapuzzledlookfromBobby,thensaid,“Howabouttakingawalkbeforewegoinside?”“Howcome?”Bobby
asked.“Ithoughtwemightstop
bytoseeCarrie.”Bobby’seyesbrightenedat
once.“Okay.Maybeshe’llhavemorecookies.”Samlaughed.“Didn’tyou
getenoughtoeattoday?”
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“Sure,butcookiesarealwaysgood.Ortheycouldgointomybackpackforschooltomorrow.”“Aninterestinglineof
thought,”Samagreed.“Butyoudon’taskforcookies.Youcanacceptthemifsheoffersyousome,okay?”Bobbyshrugged.
“Whatever.”Carrie’shousestillseemed
uncommonlyquiettoSamas
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heandBobbyapproached,thenrangthebell.Heheardnosoundscomingfrominside,soherangthebellagain.Thenhedecidedtowalkaroundback.That’swherehefound
Carrieatthefaredgeoftheproperty,herfeetdanglingintoWillowBrook,tearsonhercheeks.Sheswipedatthemimpatientlywhensherealizedshehadcompany.
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Bobbyinstantlytooknoteofthetearsandsatdownclosetoher.“Areyousad?”“Alittle,”sheadmittedas
hesnuggledcloser.“I’msorry.”“Havingyouheremakes
mefeelawholelotbetter,”shetoldhim,drapinganarmoverhisshoulders.“Areyousure?”Sam
asked,studyingherintently.“Wedon’thavetostick
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aroundifyou’dratherbealone.Iwasjustworriedthatsomethinghadhappenedatyourgrandfather’s.”“NothingIcan’tfigure
out,”shesaid,thoughshedidn’tsoundconvincing.“Wanttotalkaboutit?”he
asked,despitehislackofexperienceinsolvingthesortofproblemsthatbroughtontears.Hecouldhandlecomputercrashesorinternet
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providerglitchesrightatthenewspaper’sdeadlinewithoutbattinganeye,butthissensitivitybusinesswasnewterritory.“IfIdo,itwillonly
convinceyouthatyou’vegottentangledupinaverymessyfamilydynamicthatitwouldtakeSolomontosortout.Sinceyou’rejustsettlingintoChesapeakeShores,itmightbebettertoletyou
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keepyourillusionsaboutmyfamilyalittlelonger.”Hegaveheralonglook.“I
haven’tsignedthefinalpapersonthehouse.I’mnotstuckhereyet.”Shetriedforasmile,butit
wobbledandfailed.“That’stheproblem,isn’tit?IfIstartblabbingandblubbering,youcouldtakeofffasterthanoneofthoserocketstheyfirefromWallopsIslandtoget
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suppliestotheInternationalSpaceStation.”“I’dliketothinkI’ma
littletougherthanthat.”Hesatonherothersideandstretchedouthislegs,thenreachedoverandbrushedawaythedampnessthatlingeredonhercheek.“Seriously—you’vestoodbymeinsometoughspotsthepastfewweeks.I’dliketoreturnthefavorifIcan.”
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“Maybeacookieandsomemilkwouldhelp,”Bobbysuggestedhopefully.“Thatalwaysmakesmefeelbetter.”Overthetopofhishead,
SamcaughtCarrie’sgazeandheldit.“Orwecantakeoff.”Shetriedanothersmileand
thisoneheld.“Ithinkcookiesandmilksoundlikethebestideaever,”shesaid,gettingtoherfeetandleadingthewayinside.
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Sheflippedonthekitchenlightstorevealasmallspace,butonethatwouldhavebeenagourmetchef’sdreamwithitsgranitecountertops,stainlesssteelappliancesandadoorthatopenedintoawalk-inpantrystockedwitheveryconceivablesnack,healthyandotherwise.Bobbystoodinthedoorway,clearlymesmerized.“It’sbetterthanthegrocery
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store,”hesaid,aweinhisvoice.Carrielaughed.“Iliketo
bepreparedwhenthekidscomeover,”shetoldSam,herexpressionchagrined.“ItoldyouIlikebeingthego-toaunt.”“Well,IcanseeI’mgoing
tohavedifficultygettingBobbybacktoourhouseeveragain,”Samsaid.“Infact,Imightwantyoutoadoptme,
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too.”Thecolorwashedoutof
hercheeksathiswordsandshequicklyturnedaway.Samwalkedaroundtofaceher.“WhatdidIsay?”“Nothing.Honestly,”she
claimed,thoughshewouldn’tlookhimintheeye.“Ifyoucouldgetthreeglassesfromthecabinetabovethesink,I’llgetthemilkandthecookiejar.”
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Behindthem,Bobbywasdoinganinventoryofthepantry.“TherearethosefruitythingsIlove,andchips,andOreocookies,andpeanut-buttercrackersandpretzelsandapplesandbananasandlotsandlotsofcerealand—”“Enough,”Samsaid,
chuckling.“I’msureCarrieiswellawareofwhat’sinthere.Stopbeingnosy.”
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“Butthedoorwasopen,”Bobbyprotested.Oncethemilkwaspoured
andthecookiesplacedonaplate,CarriefocusedherattentiononBobby.“Didyouhavefuntoday?”Henodded,hismouth
alreadyfullofcrumblingchocolate-chipcookie.ShefinallyturnedtoSam.
“Andyou?”“Itwasarevelation.”
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“Itseemedasifyou’dlostthatglazed-over,overwhelmedexpressionbytheendofdinner,”sheobserved.“Prettymuch.Itwas
fascinatingwatchingtheebbandflowaspeoplemovedfromoneconversationandonegrouptoanother.”“Sortoflikewitnessinga
socialexperimentinperson,”shesuggested.
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“Notatall.It’sevidentthatO’Briensloveandrespecteachother.Ifoundthatprettyimpressive.”“Oh,believeme,wehave
ourshareofsquabbles,”shesaid,anoddnoteinhervoice.“Insomewaysthey’reworsewhentheyhappen,becausetheexpectationisthatwe’llallgetalongallthetime.”“Personalexperience?”Ratherthananswering
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directly,shetoldthestoryofthewarfareamonghergrandfatherandhisbrotherswhenthetownwasbeingbuilt.“UncleThomastookGrandpaMicktocourtbecausehedidn’tthinkhewasworkinghardenoughtoprotectthebay.UncleJeffsidedwithThomasandwarwasdeclared.ItwasGramwhobrokeredpeace,mostlybyinsistingthattheSunday-
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dinnertraditionwouldnotbebrokenandthattheyhadtogetoverthemselves.”“Andjustlikethat,they
did?”Carrielaughed.“Hardly.It
tookyears.AccordingtoMom,Sundaydinnersweresometimesverytenseifanyoneventuredontoadangeroustopic.OfcoursebythetimeCaitlynandIcamealong,ChesapeakeShores
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hadbeenbuiltandpeaceonceagainreigned,atleastmostofthetime.”“Well,Icertainlydidn’t
noticeanystraintoday,”Samsaid.Again,though,hehadthe
sensethatCarriewantedtodisputethat,butsheremaineddiscreetlysilent.“Weshouldgo,”hesaid
eventually.“Thanksforaskingustojoinyoutoday.”
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“I’msorryIbailedonyou.IhopeMomexplained.”“Shedid,”Samsaid,
thoughwithnomountainofpaperworkinsight,hewaswellawarehestilldidn’thavethewholepicture.GivenCarrie’sreticencejustnow,hewonderedifheeverwould.Orwhyhehadagut
feelingthatitmattered.
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***
“BookclubisonagainfortomorrownightatSusie’s,”ShannaannouncedhappilyonMondaymorning.“Ithoughtshe’dagreedthe
otherdaywhenyoufirstspoketoheraboutit,thencanceledanhourlater.”Heathersaid,lookingsurprised.“Whatmakesyouthinkshewon’tcancel
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again?”“Ipinnedherdown
yesterdayatMick’sandbadgeredhertillshecouldn’tsayno,”Shannasaid,clearlypleasedwithherself.“You’llallbethere,right?Andyou’llbringsomething.Ipromisedhershewouldn’thavetoliftafinger.”HeatherandBree
immediatelyofferedtoshopforsandwichwrapsand
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saladsfromPaniniBistro.“AndI’llbakebrownies,”
Shannasaid.“AndI’llaskJesstobringanotherdessertfromtheinn.Whataboutyou,Carrie?”“Ican’tmakeit,”Carrie
saidstiffly.“I’mswampedwithpaperworkfortheday-carecenter.”Breestudiedherwitha
narrowedgaze.“Andthat’smoreimportantthanbeing
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thereforSusie?”“Actuallyitis,”Carriesaid
defensively.“Ihavetogettheballrolling,andConnorneedsthispaperworktofilealltheapplications.”“Surelyonenightwon’t
makethatbigadifference,”Shannasaid.“Sorry.Notthistime,”
Carrierepeated.Breegaveherapenetrating
look,thensighed.“Soit’s
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true.”Theotherwomenstaredat
hercuriously,evenasCarriewantedtojumpupandleavebeforeherauntopenedthiscanofworms.“What’strue?”Heather
asked.“There’ssomesortofrift
betweenCarrieandSusie,”Breesaid,hergazeonCarrie.“AmIright?”“Noideawhatyou’re
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talkingabout,”Carriesaid.“AndIhavetorun.IneedtopickupJackson.”“Sitstill.Youdon’thave
JacksononMonday,”Breesaid.“Changeofplans,”Carrie
said,tryingtokeepanoteofdesperationoutofhervoice.“Noahaskedmetofillin.That’swhyI’mnotvolunteeringatJulie’sday-carecentertoday.”Shegave
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Breeachallenginglook.“Wouldyouliketocallhimtocheck?”Breerelented.“Thatwon’t
benecessary,”shesaideventually.“Butsweetie,ifthereissomethinggoingonbetweenyouandSusie,youneedtomendfences.Thatmakesitevenmoreimportantforyoutobethereforbookclub.”“It’suptome?Why?”
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Carriesnappedbeforeshecouldstopherself.Shefoughttobringherannoyanceundercontrol.“Youhavenoideawhatyou’retalkingaboutandIreallythinkyoushouldstayoutofit.”Shestoodupandthistime
noonemadeanyefforttostopher.Shewashalfwayoutthedoorbeforesheheardthemurmurofvoicesstartagainandknewthatheated
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speculationwasunderway.Thiswholethingwas
destinedtoturnintoahugedisasterbeforeallwassaidanddoneandshecouldn’tthinkofanywaytostopit.HowwasshesupposedtodefendherselfagainstSusie’sirrationalsuspicionsandcruelcommentswithoutmakingmattersevenworse?TalkingtohercousininSusie’spresentframeofmindwould
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onlyescalatethesituation.Ofcourse,walkingoutof
Sally’sjustnowprobablyhadn’thelped,either.WhateverherauntBreekneworthoughtsheknewwasgoingtobecommonknowledgebeforenoon.Andthenwhat?Battlelineswouldbedrawn?NotonlydidCarrienotwantthat,butinSusie’sfragilestatethesedays,itwasthelastthingshe
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needed,aswell.
***
SamhadgottenBobbyofftoschoolandwashavingasecondcupofcoffeetobracehimselfforabusydayatthenewspaper,whenheheardacarpullupoutside.Heglancedoutthelivingroomwindowandsawinsteadapickuploadedwithfurniture.
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Susiewasjustgettingoutofthecabofthetruck.Samopenedthefrontdoor.
“Whereonearthdidyoufindallofthatstuff?”Shelaughed.“Imadethe
roundsafterdinneryesterdayandraidedattics.”AsSamapproachedthe
truckhespottedwhatlookedtobesomedecentantiquesandalike-newsofa.“That’swhatO’Briensstoreintheir
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attics?”“Thewomeninthefamily
liketoredecorateonaregularbasis,”Susiesaidwithashrug.“It’sacurse.Heavenforbidaperfectlygoodsofaclasheswiththenewpaintcolor.”“Yes,heavenforbid!”Sam
replied,astonished.“Look,IreallyappreciatethismorethanIcansay,butIdon’tthinkyouandIcangetitinto
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thehouseonourown.AndIneedtogettotheofficeforanearlymeetingwithyourhusband.”“Don’tfret.He’sonhis
way,alongwithotherreinforcements.Allyouneedtodoisdecidewhereyouwantthingsandpointthemintherightdirection.”Sureenough,severalcars
pulledintospacesalongthestreetandmenhe’dmetjust
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yesterday,plusMackandKevinandevenMick,piledoutofthem.Forthenexttwentyminutesorso,allhedidwasdirecttraffictovariousrooms.“Idon’tknowwhatto
say,”hetoldthemwhenthefurnitureandboxesofpotsandpansanddisheshadbeenunloaded.“Thisiswayaboveandbeyond.”“Allthingsthatshouldbe
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puttogooduse,”Micksaid.“Nowallyouneedisawoman’stouchandyou’llhaveyourselfaverynicehome.”“WhichisexactlywhyI’m
goingtostickaroundandputthingsintheirproperplaces,”Susiesaidbrightly.“PlusIhaveafewmorelittlethingsinthetruckthatwillbrightenthingsup.”“Susie,you’vealready
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donemorethanenough,”Samsaid.“Roundingallofthisupandgettingthepaperworkinordersoquickly—you’vebeenarealgodsend.”“Absolutely,”Micksaid.
“YoujustleavetherestofthistoCarrie.Shehasagoodeyefordetails.”Samcouldn’treadthe
expressionthatwashedoverSusie’sface,butMackwasat
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hersideinaninstant.“Sam’sright,sweetheart.Whatyou’vedonehereisamazing,butlethimfigureouttherest.I’msureBobbywillwanttohaveasay,too.”“Youcanbetonthat,”Sam
said.“Ipickedupafewtoysfor
him,”Susiesaidstiffly.“CanIatleastleavethose?”“Ofcourse,”Macksaid
quickly.“Aretheyinthecab
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ofthetruck?I’llgetthem.”Astheothermenwaved
goodbyeandheadedout,SusiestoodbesideSam,hershouldershunched,herfacedowncast.Samcouldtellshewasupset,butfiguringoutexactlywhywasbeyondhim.“Ireallydoappreciate
everythingyou’vedone,”hetoldheragain.“Thissituationcouldhavebeensomuchharderandyou’vemadeit
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painless.”“Ijustwantedtohelpany
wayIcould,”shesaid,liftingherchinuntiltheirgazescaught.Somethinginhertoneleft
Sampuzzled.“Iknowthat.”Hadsomeonesuggestedotherwise?Beforehecouldask,MackwasbackwithbagsoftoysforBobby.Samcouldonlystare.“Wow!Didyoubuyout
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thestore?”Shegavehimasheepish
grin.“Imighthavegottenalittlecarriedaway.OnceIgotstarted,Iwashavingsomuchfun,Icouldn’tseemtostop.Pleasedon’taskmetotakethemback.”Samhadbeenabouttodo
justthat,butatasubtleshakeofMack’shead,hesaidonly,“IwasgoingtosuggestthatIputthemintoaclosetandthat
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youcomebacklaterandgivethemtoBobbyyourself.Youdeservetherewardofseeinghisfacelightupwhenheseeseverything.”AtthatSusie’sexpression
finallybrightened.“Youwouldn’tmind?”“Notatall.I’mplanningto
getbackfromworkintimetobeherewhenBobbygetshomefromschool.Doyouwanttostopbyaroundfour?
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Mack,you,too?”“Sure,”Macksaidawfully
quickly.“Wewouldn’tmissit,wouldwe,Suze?”“We’llseeyouatfour,”
Susiepromised.“Well,I’llseeyouatthe
officealotsoonerthanthat,”Macksaid.“Onmyway,”Sam
promisedandwatchedthetwoofthemleave.Hestillhadthesensethat
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despitethegenerositybehindeverythingthathadhappenedherethismorning,therewasanundertoneofsomethinghewasmissing.Andwhateveritwas,itseemedtohaveleftalotofpeopleonedge.
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16
CarriewastakingJacksonforawalkinhisstrollerMondayafternoonwhenshespottedMackandSusiepullingintoSam’sdriveway.ShewasabouttomakeaU-turnandgobackhome,whenBobbyspottedherandcame
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runningacrossthelawn,shoutinghername.Susie’sheadsnappedaround,MackwincedandCarriewishedthegroundwouldopenupandswallowher.“Stopit!”shemuttered
underherbreath.Afterall,thiswasherneighborhood.Shehadaperfectrighttotakeawalkonthisstreet.Plasteringasmileonherface,shecalledoutagreetingto
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Bobby.“There’sasurpriseforme
atthehouse,”Bobbytoldherexcitedlywhenhereachedher.“Samwon’ttell,butI’mgonnafindoutinaminute.Youwannasee?MaybeJacksonwouldlikeit,too.”SheglancedinSam’s
directionforguidanceandhenodded.“Absolutely,”shetoldBobby.“Let’sseewhatthisamazingsurprisemight
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be.”Onherwaytothehouse,
shemanagedacivilizedgreetingforhercousinandMack,butshecouldtellbythelookinSusie’seyesthatshewasunhappywiththeadditiontothecelebration,whateveritwas.Onanyotherday,maybeCarriewouldhavebeenmoresensitiveandmadeherselfscarce,butafteroverhearingSusie’s
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accusationsyesterday,shewasn’tabouttodothat.O’Briensdidn’thide.Ofcourse,whattheyeventuallydidwasspeaktheirminds,andshewasn’tquitereadytodothat,either,especiallynotinfrontofanaudience.Atthefrontdoor,Carrie
pausedinamazement.“Youhavefurniture!”Thelivingroomhadbeentransformedfromanemptyshell
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practicallyovernightintoacharming,cozyroomwiththeadditionofasofa,chairandtablesshe’dlastseeninSusie’sapartmentbeforesheandMackhadbuilttheirhomeonBeachLane.“Yes,butthat’snotthe
surprise,”Bobbytoldher.“Samsaysit’ssomethingelse,somethingjustforme.”Carrieglancedather
cousin.“Iheardyouwere
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gatheringupthingsforSam’shouse.Youdidagreatjob.Thislookswonderful.”“Thanks,”Susiesaid
tightly.“Shealsopickedupafew
thingsshethoughtBobbymightlike,”Samsaid.Hepointedtowardacloset.“Checkinthere,pal.”Bobbyracedacrossthe
livingroomandthrewopenthedoor.Hiseyeswidened
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evenashegaveawhoopofdelight.“Forme?Allofit?”“That’swhatIhear,”Sam
said.“ThisisallSusie’sdoing,sobesureyouthankher.”AsBobbystartedbringing
outbagsandinvestigatingthecontents,thereweremorewhoopsandgasps.EvenCarriewasalittleinaweofthemagnitudeofSusie’sgenerosity.
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BobbypausedmidwaythroughcheckingouthisunexpectedhaulandthrewhisarmsaroundSusie.“Thankyou,thankyou!”“Youreallydidgoabove
andbeyond,yetagain,”Samsaid,clearlytakenaback.Susie’sfaceflushed.“Ijust
wantedhimtofeelathomehere.Iwasprettysureyou’dleftalotofthingsbehindinstorageandIthoughtnew
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mightbenice,anyway.Sortofafreshstart.”“Thatwasreally
thoughtful,”Macktoldher,givingherhandasqueeze.“Itwas,”Carrieagreed,
thoughshesuspectedsheandMackbothunderstoodtherewasalotmorebehindthemagnanimousgesture.Susie,withallthebestintentionsintheworld,wastryingtobuyBobby’saffectionsandfill
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thevoidinherheart.Carriecouldunderstandall
that.Shecouldsympathize,knowinghowSusiehadbeencountingontheadoptionthathadfallenthroughattheverylastminute.WhatshewashavingahardtimewithwasSusietryingtocastherasthebadguybecauseshewasformingabondwithBobbyandSam,too.“Howaboutsomethingto
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drink?”Samsuggested,gettingtohisfeet.“Ihavesodas,beer,water.”“Ishouldprobablygo,”
Carriesaid.“IneedtogetJacksonovertoNoah’s.”Shesawtheundisguised
reliefinSusie’seyesasshespoke.Samdidn’targue,buthedidwalkhertothedoor.Outsidehestudiedher,hisexpressionpuzzled.“Whathappenedjust
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now?”Shelookedintohiseyes.
“Noideawhatyoumean.”“Thetensionintherewas
sothickIcouldhavecutitwithaknife.AreyouandSusiefightingaboutsomething?”“No,”shesaid.Andthat
muchwastrue.Theyhadn’texchangedasingleharshwordwitheachother.Butthoseblastedbattlelineshad
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beendrawnjustthesame.Shewonderedifthingsbetweenherandhercousinwouldeverbethesame.TheironywasthattheybothknewSusiewasmadlyinlovewithherhusband,soitwasn’tasiftheywerefightingoverthesameman.No,thebattlewasfortheheartofalittleboy,whoneededallthelovehecouldgetfrombothofthemandanyoneelseinthisnew
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worldtowhichhewasadapting.
***
AfterdeliveringJacksontoNoah,Carriecouldn’tbringherselftogobacktoheremptyhouse.IfshediscoveredthatSusieandMackwerestillhangingoutatSam’s,hersourmoodwouldsinkevenlower.
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Instead,sheheadedtoO’Brien’s,thoughshewonderedifthatwasagoodchoice.ThiswashardlyaproblemshecoulddumpinLuke’slap.Susiewashissister.Fortunatelythepubwas
alreadybusyandtherewerenoseatsatthebar,soshefoundatableinacornernearthefrontwindowandsettledinwithaglassofwine.With
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theviewofthebayacrossthestreet,itwassurprisinglysoothing.Therewastimetolistentoherownthoughts...aboutthedaycare,abouthercousinand,ofcourse,aboutSam.Individuallyshecouldhavecopedwithanyonething,butcombined?Wasshedestinedtomakeabaddecisionaboutanyoneofthem,justbecauseshewastoobusytothink
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thingsthrough?Allweretooimportantformissteps.She’dbeentherelessthan
halfanhourwithnoresolutiontoanyofherdilemmasandwasdebatingorderingdinner,whenshelookedupandfoundSambyhertable.“Interestedincompany?”
heasked.“Sure,”shesaid,then
glancedaround.“Where’s
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Bobby?”“SusieandMackareatthe
housewithhim.Hedidn’twanttoleavehishauloftoys,sotheyofferedtohangout.”“Areyousurethat’sagood
idea?”sheasked,thenwinced.“Sorry.Notmybusiness.”Samreachedacrossthe
tableandtookherhand.“Carrie,what’sgoingon?That’sthesecondtimeI’ve
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pickeduponsomesortoftensionbetweenyouandSusie.Youcarefullyavoidedgivingmeastraightanswerearlier.Howaboutnow?”Shedebatedbrushingoff
hisobservationforasecondtime,butcouldn’tquitebringherselftodoit.Thiswasamanshemightwanttohaveafutureofsomekindwith.Lyingorevenhedgingwasnowaytomoveforward.
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“Okay,maybethereisanissue,”sheconceded,thenaddedearnestly,“butit’snotmydoing.”Shehesitated,stillnotconvincedshewantedtoairthisparticularbitoffamilylaundry.Samdidn’tpress.He
orderedanale,thenwatchedherandwaited.WhenCarrierealizedheapparentlyhadanendlesssupplyofpatiencetogoalongwithhiskeen
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powersofobservation,shecontinued.“DidyouknowthatMack
andSusiewereintheprocessofadopting?”Henodded.“Mack
mentionedhowexcitedtheywere.”“Well,thebaby,agirl,was
bornafewweeksago,butthemombackedoutoftheadoption.”Samlookedshocked.“Can
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shedothat?”“Apparently.”“Thatmusthavebeen
heartbreaking,”hesaid.“Butwhatdoesithavetodowithyou?”“Itshouldn’thaveathing
intheworldtodowithme,”shesaid.“ButyoubroughtBobbytotownaroundthesametime.Susie’sapparentlyfocusingallthatloveshewassodesperatetogiveanew
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babyonBobbynow.”Samlookedmomentarily
stunned,thennoddedslowlyasunderstandingdawned.“Alotofthingssuddenlymakesensetome.TheveryfirstdayMackbroughtherbytoseeBobby,hewasclearlyworried.Hethoughtshewasgoingtogetalittlecarriedaway,didn’the?”“Morethanlikely.”“Andthosetoysshepicked
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out.That’spartofherattempttobeapartofBobby’slife,”heconcluded.“I’dsayso.”“Isitmorethanthat?Isshe
waitingformetoscrewup,soshecantakelegalactionorsomething?”Carriewasstunnedbythat
possibility.“Ofcoursenot,”shesaid,thenhesitated.“Honestly,Idon’tknowwhatshe’slikelytodo.She’snot
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thinkingclearlyrightnow.I’mtryingtomakeallowancesforthatmyself.”“Becauseyou’resomehow
caughtupinwhatever’sgoingonwithher,”heconcluded.“Buthow?Istilldon’tseetheconnection.”Shesmiled.Typicalmale,
oblivioustoanynuanceswhenitcametowomen.“Don’tyousee?ShethinksI’minherway,becauseyou
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andIhavegottentobefriends.You’veturnedtomeacoupleoftimeswhenyouneededhelpwithBobby.”“Butthat’scrazy,”Sam
saidatonce.“She’smarriedtomyboss,happilyasnearasIcantell.”“Sam,it’snotaboutyou.
It’saboutmyrelationshipwithBobbyortheaccessthatmyfriendshipwithyouhasgivenmetohim.”
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“Oh,boy,”Sammurmured.“SeewhatImeanabout
howcomplicatedthingshavesuddenlybecome?”Shenoticedtheworrybuildinginhiseyesandknewshehadtooffsetanypanicshemightinadvertentlyhavecaused.“Susie’sreallyagoodperson.She’sjustgoingthroughatrulyterribletime.Youdon’thavetoworryaboutBobbyoranythinglikethat.He’sin
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perfectlygoodhands,especiallywithMackthere.Anditcan’thurt,havingsomanypeoplecaringabouthim,right?”“Isupposenot,”heagreed,
thoughhestilllookedconcerned.“You’rethinkingyou
shouldrushrighthome,aren’tyou?”“ShouldI?IsthefactthatI
lefttoseeyougoingtogoon
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somelistshe’skeepingofmyquestionableparenting?”“Youhavetotrustyour
instincts,butminearetellingmethatallSusiewantsistospendtimewithBobbyandtohavearelationshipwithhim.You’llhavetowatchthattheattachmentdoesn’tgettoointenseorthatshedoesn’tgooverboardwiththepresentsagain,butbeyondthat,theSusieI’veknownmywhole
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lifewouldneverdoanythingtohurtanyone.AndIcan’timaginehertryingtotakehimfromyou,anymorethanIwouldhave.”Samgaveherawrylook.
“ThatremarkImadeatShannaandKevin’shouseisgoingtocomebacktohauntme,isn’tit?”“Itcouldcomeupfrom
timetotime,”shesaid,“whenyouneedtobereminded
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aboutleapingtoconclusions.Ofcourse,Iwasguiltyofthesamethingwhereyouwereconcerned.We’reokaynowthatweknoweachotherbetter.”“Youthinkthisthingwith
Susiewilleventuallyworkitselfout?”Carriethoughtaboutthat.
Shehonestlycouldn’tsay.IfSusiefocusedallherattentiononBobbyandcontinuedto
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refusetoconsideranotheradoption,howhealthywouldthatbe?Thatwasaquestionforsomeoneawholelotwiserthanshewas.“Eventually,”shesaid,
thoughwithmorehopethanconviction.“MaybeI’lljusttouchbase
withMack,seehowthingsaregoingatthehouse,”Samsaid.“It’sthefirsttimeI’veleftBobbywithanyoneother
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thanyou.I’lltellhimthat,sohedoesn’tjumptotheconclusionthatIdon’ttrusthimorSusie.Orfigureoutthatyou’vefilledmein.”“Goodidea.”Sammadethecall,looking
moreandmorerelievedashelistenedtoMack’sresponses.“Ifyou’resurethingsareundercontrol.ImightstickaroundthepubandhavedinnerwithCarrie.Doyou
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mind?”Helistenedintently,thensmiled.“Sure,orderapizza.That’sBobby’sfavorite,sothatwouldbegreat.Thanks.”Hedisconnectedthecall,
putthephonebackinhispocket,thenfocusedonher.“Looksasifwecanfinallyhavethatdate.MaybeIshouldbethankingSusie,insteadofworryingabouther.”
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“Iletyoujoinme,”Carrieremindedhim.“Nothingwassaidaboutdinneroradate.”AsparklelitSam’seyes.
“Carrie,wouldyouliketohavedinnerwithme?ThenIcanwalkyouhomeafter,maybeevenstealakissatyourfrontdoor.Thatseemslikeareasonablefirstdate.”“Mightybigplans,”she
commented.“Afirststep,”hecorrected.
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“Thebigplansareformuchlater.”“AndwhatifIdon’tkiss
onthefirstdate?”“I’llseeifIcanchange
yourmind.IcanbeprettypersuasivewhenIputmymindtoit.”“Aninterestingchallenge.
So,what’sthetimetableforthesebigplansofyours?”“Iwasthinkingdownthe
roadadayortwoatleast,”he
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said,chuckling.“ButI’maguy.I’mhappytospeedtheprocessalong.”Carrielaughed,butshehad
alittletroublecatchingherbreath.Shelikedwherethisseemedtobeheading.Theoldwisdomseemedtobetrue;therightmansometimesdidcomealongjustwhenapersonstoppedlooking.Sam’sexpressionsobered.
“So,what’sthedecision?
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Willyoujoinmefordinnerandwhatevercomesafter?”“Let’sstartwithdinnerand
seehowitgoes.”Hereachedforherhand
andheldit.“Ithinkit’sgoingtogoverywell.”Carriecouldn’tseemto
stopherselffromnoddinginagreement.Foraneveningthathadstartedoutfraughtwithtension,itwasdefinitelyturningaroundinto
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somethingveryintriguing.
***
SamlistenedtoCarriegoingonandonaboutherplansfortheday-carecenter.Herenthusiasmwascontagious.Hecouldenvisionexactlywhatitwasgoingtolooklikewhenrenovationswerecompletedandwhatthechildreninhercarewouldbe
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doingeveryminuteoftheday.Shestoppedforbreath.
“I’mboringyoutotears,aren’tI?”“Absolutelynot.It’s
wonderfultoseeyousocaughtupinyourplans.You’veobviouslyfoundyourpassion.Fromwhatyoutoldmewhenwemet,it’ssomethingyouwerestrugglingwith.”
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“ItrulythinkIhave,”shesaid.Sheglancedattheuntouchedfoodonherplate.“Ofcourse,becauseI’vebeentalkingsomuch,myfood’sgonecold.Howaboutyou?Tellmeaboutyourpassion,whileIeat.Waswebdesignitforyoufromtheverybeginning,thethingyouknewyouweremeanttodo?”“Notentirely,”Sam
admitted.“ItwasacareerI
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knewIcouldtakeanywhereIwantedtolive.WhetherIhaveoneclientlikethenewspaperorfiftyclientsallovertheworld,IcandotheworkwhereverIgo.”“Soit’smorea
conveniencethanapassion?”“Thatprobablymakesit
soundalittlemorecalculatingthanImeantto.Ilovethework.Ialwaysenjoyedartanddesignand
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thetechstuffcameeasilytome.Thewebsideofdesignjustseemedtobeanaturalfitformypassionandformydesiretobefootlooseandtravel.Andthesedaysthere’sahugedemandforwhatIdo.Newspapersareintransition.Eventuallythey’llbemostlyonline.Everybodywantsanonlinepresencefortheirbusiness.”“Therearetwopartsofthat
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weshouldtalkabout,”Carriesaid.“You’llhavetogettoknowmystepfatherbetter.Hisfirstlovewasgraphicdesign.Hisfathertriedtosteerhimintorunningthecommunitybankhereintown,butTracebalkedandfocusedonhisdesigncareer.Hegetstoworkfromhome,sohewasthereforCaitlynandmewhenMomcouldn’tbe.ThesamewithPatrick,
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thoughTraceandMomclaimmybrotherisnotthelittleangelmytwinandIwere.”Samlaughed“Theysay
thatoryoudo?”“Okay,that’smy
interpretation.”“Andtheotherthingwe
needtodiscuss?”“Yourdesiretowander.
What’sthatabout?”“I’veneveranalyzedit,but
Isupposeit’sbecausemy
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momhadalwayswantedtoseetheworld.Shemusthavehadahundredtravelmemoirsinthehouseandreadthemtousinsteadofstorybooks.Iwasfascinatedbythosebooks.”“Didsheevergettoseeall
ofthoseexoticplaces?”Samshookhishead,
surprisedbythedepthofsorrowthatwashedoverhim.“Shehadgottenpregnant
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withLaurel,marriedmyfatherandspentherlifestuckinatinythree-bedroomhouseinthesuburbsofCleveland.ThelongesttripsheevertookwasdowntoColumbus,andthatwasonlybecausemydadwantedtogotailgatingwithhisbuddiesandtheirwivesatanOhioStatefootballgame.”“Nogirlfriendsshecould
travelwith?”Carrieasked.“Nofriendsofherown,”
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Samcorrected.“Inhindsight,Ithinkmydadabusedherpsychologicallybyisolatingherandcontrollingher.Shedidn’thavethestrengthtowalkaway,thoughthereweresomeprettyintensefightsfromtimetotime.Laureltriedtoprotectmefromallthat,butIheardwaytoomuch.”“Kidsusuallydo,”Carrie
said.
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“InsomecrazywayIwantedtoshapemylifetodothethingsmymotherhadn’tbeenabletodo.Ialwaysintendedtotakeheralongtotheplacesshe’ddreamedabout,butbythetimeIcouldhavedonethat,shewastoosicktotravel.Attheend,Isatbesideherbedandtoldherstoriesandshowedherpicturesfrommytravels.”“Oh,Sam,”Carrie
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whispered,hereyesdampwithtears.Hetriedtoshrugoffthe
memories.“Anyway,therewillbenomoretripsformefortheforeseeablefuturenowthatIhaveBobbyinmylife.”“Areyouafraidyou’ll
resenthimbecauseofthat?”Carrieaskedwithsurprisinginsight.“Doyousomehowseethisasarepeatofwhathappenedtoyourmom?”
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“Iwasworriedaboutthatwhenallofthisfirsthitme,butyouknowwhat?I’mstartingtorealizebeingaparentisitsownkindofadventure.AndI’mverygladthatifithadtohappen,ithappenedafterI’dmovedtoChesapeakeShores.Iwasn’tthinkingaboutitwhenItookthejob,butnowItrulyappreciatewhatagreatplacethiswillbetoraiseachild.”
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Heleveledalookintohereyes.“Andthenthere’syou.Icertainlycan’tregretanythingthathasbroughtmeclosertoyou.Ifyouhadn’tjumpedallovermeforleavingBobbyinthecarthenightwegotbacktotown,whoknowshowlongitmighthavebeenbeforewecrossedpaths.”Shesmiled.“Youthink
thatwasfate?”“I’mnotsurehowIfeel
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aboutfateordestinyorwhateveryouwanttocallit.Whataboutyou?Anythoughtsaboutwhetherthere’sonerightpersonforallofus?”“I’vegrownupinafamily
ofromantics,”Carrietoldhim.“HowcouldInotbelievethat?Ijustspentalongtimelookingformysoulmateinallthewrongplaces.”“Anyregretsaboutthat?”
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Herexpressionturnedthoughtful.“Youknowwhat?Notreally.IthinkIlearnedsomethingfromallofmymistakes,evenmiserableMarc.IfiguredoutwhatIdon’tneedinmylife.”Shemethisgaze.“AndlatelyI’vestarteddiscoveringwhatIdoneed.”“Ashiftinpriorities?”“No,justasudden
awarenessthatthere’smore
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thanonewaytoapproachthosepriorities.Familywillalwaysbefirstforme,withafulfillingcareeraclosesecond.Ifyoustudymyfamily,you’lldiscoverthatmostofthemhaveachievedabalancebetweenthosetwothings,evenifittookafewofthemalittlelongerthanitdidothers.”“Inevergavemuch
thoughttohavingafamily,”
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Samsaid,drawingashockedlook.“IknowthatmustbestrangetoanO’Brien,butmyfamilywasverydifferentfromyours.LaurelandIwerefairlycloseaskids,butwe’vehadourdifferencesasadults.”“Butyoursisterleftyou
custodyofherson.Thatmustmeanshetrustedyou.”“Therewasnooneelse,”
herepliedsimply.“Iwasthe
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defaultguy.IknowshebelievedI’ddorightbyBobby.SodidRobert.Butifthey’dhadanyotherviableoption,theyprobablywouldhavetakenit.Robert’sparentsarearound,butthey’reolderandalittletoosetintheirwaysforthechaosakidBobby’sagewouldbringintotheirlives.Theydidtalktoalawyeraboutfightingmeforcustody,butI
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thinktheywererelievedwhenheadvisedthemtheywereunlikelytowin.”“Willtheycontinuetobea
partofhislife?”“Ofcourse,iftheywantto
be.I’lltakehimtovisitorinvitethemhere.IcanseethevalueofBobbyknowingI’mnottheonlyfamilyhehas.”“Nowthatyou’vehad
sometime,howdoyoufeelaboutbecomingadad
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overnight?”“It’sanadjustment,”he
admitted.“Iwasaprettycarefreeguy.NowIhavenochoicebuttothinkofsomeoneotherthanmyself.FortunatelyBobby’saterrifickid.Ithinkwe’regoingtodookay.ItmayberockyfromtimetotimewhileIfindmyway,butthere’snothinglikeakidtokeepaguyhonest.”Hesmiledather.“You’ve
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beendoingthat,too.Idon’twanttoleteitherofyoudown.That’sascaryprospect,becauseIknowsoonerorlaterIwill.Untilthishappened,I’dledaprettyselfishexistence,doingwhateverappealedtome,takingoffatamoment’snoticeifsomethingthatsoundedexcitingcameup.Thosedaysaredone.”Hewassurprisedtorealize
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thathenolongerregrettedthatthewayhehadwhenhe’dfirstgraspedallthechangeshewasgoingtohavetomaketolifeashe’dknownit.“Aslongasyou’redoing
thebestyoucan,youwon’tleteitherofusdown,”Carrieassuredhim.Herconfidence,especially
giventheirrockyfirstmeeting,meantalot.“I’ve
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alreadymademistakes,asyoucanattest.”“Findmeonehumanbeing
whohasn’t,”shecountered.“Oroneparentwhohasn’tmadeaboatloadofthem.Mygrandparents,theultimaterolemodelsforafamilymatriarchandpatriarchnow,madesomedoozies.I’llfillyouinsometime.Mistakesarepartoflife.It’swhatyoudotofixthingsthatreally
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matters.”“I’mgoingtoremindyou
ofthatnexttimeyou’rescoldingmefortheerrorofmyways.”“Ivowedtogiveyou
gentleadvice,notscoldings,remember?”Samtouchedherhandto
makesurehehadherfullattention.“IthinkImightmissthefireinyoureyeswhenyou’retellingmeI’ve
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gottenitallwrong.”Sheglancedupathis
wordsandhemethergaze.“There’ssomethingabouta
redheadwithafullheadofsteamthatgetstome,”hesaid.“Makesmewanttodiscoverwhatelseshemightbesopassionateabout.”“Iguesswe’llsee,won’t
we?”shesaid,atellinghitchinhervoice.Forthefirsttimesince
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they’dbegunthisdance,Samwasstartingtobelievetheymightgetthestepsjustright.
***
“Thishouseisamazing,”LucyenthusedasshewalkedfromroomtoroominthepropertyCarriewashopingtoturnintoherday-carecenter.“Lucy’sright,”Julieadded.
“Theopenconceptisvery
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workableforkeepinganeyeonthekidsfromanyplaceyouhappentobe,yetit’seasilydividedintoactivityareas.”“Thenyouthinkitwill
work?”Carriesaid,excitedbytheirenthusiasm.She’dbeenholdingherbreathawaitingtheirreaction.Iftheyapproved,shewasreadytomoveforwardfirstthingMondaymorning.Connor
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wasonstandbytoclosethedeal.Shekneweventhenshe’dbeweeks,ifnotmonths,awayfromopening,butowningtherightpropertywouldmakethedreamfeelreal.She’dhavesomethingconcretetoshowforallthestepsshe’dtakeninthisnewdirection.“Notadoubtinmymind,”
Juliesaid.Shehandedoverafewpagesfromanotebook
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she’dbeenwritinginsinceshe’darrived.“Notesonthingsyou’llneedtoaddresstobringituptocodeforaday-carecenter.Aninspectormighthavemore,butthisshouldcovermostofit.Whenareyouthinkingofopening?”“AssoonasIcantakecare
ofthislistandgetallthelicensesandapprovalsIneed.”
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“Thatcouldtakeawhile,”Juliecautioned.“Bureaucracydoesn’tmovequickly.”“Iknow.Mycousin’sa
lawyer.He’swarnedmenottogetaheadofmyself.”“AndIimagineyou’llhave
yourgrandfather’shelpwiththerenovations?”Juliesaid.Carriechuckled.“Yes,but
notjustbecausehe’sanoutstandingarchitectandhasyearsofconstruction
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experience.”“Thenwhy?”Lucyasked,
regardinghercuriously.“Itwillkeephimfocused
onthis,insteadofmysociallife,”Carriesaidcandidly.Lucy’sexpression
brightened.“Tellusmore!”“Stopbeingnosy,”Julie
chidedherdaughter,thengrinned.“Unlessofcourseyou’dliketoshare,Carrie.It’sbeensolongsinceI’ve
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beenonadateIcanbarelyrememberwhatitwaslike.Iyearntolivevicariously,andLucyisprettytight-lippedaboutsharinganydetailsaboutthemeninherlife.Shehasn’tbroughtonetothehousetomeetmeinyears.”“Becauseyouinterrogate
them,”Lucygrumbled,thoughhereyesweretwinkling.“Beenthere,donethat,”
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Carriesaid.“So,isthefatherofthat
littleboywhocametothecenterwithyoupartofthesocial-lifeequation?”Julieasked.“Nowwho’sbeingnosy?”
Lucyteased.Carrielaughed.“Letme
takeyouonatourofthetown,thenI’llfillyouinoverlunch.There’snotmuchtotell,though.”
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Thoughafterdinnertheothernight,therewereafewadditionaldetails.Thoseshethoughtsheprobablyoughttokeeptoherselffornow.Tohersurpriseanddelight,itturnedoutthatSamhadthewholekissingthingdownpat.Ithadtakeneveryounceofherwillpowernottodraghiminsidetofindoutwhatelsehe’dmastered!ShecaughtLucynudging
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hermom.“Carrie’sblushing.Did
younotice?”Julielaughed.“Inoticed.
Maybeweshouldskipthetourandgostraighttolunch.”“Notachance,”Carrie
said,chuckling.“IwanttoshowoffChesapeakeShores.”Anhourlaterthey’dhada
condensedtourofthetownandwereseatedata
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waterfronttableontheoutsidedeckatBrady’s.“Thisisafantasticlittle
town,”Juliesaidasshedrankhericedtea.“Icanseewhyyouloveit.Ican’timaginewhyIhaven’tdrivenoverthiswayinsolong.”“Well,thismaybethefirst
time,butitdefinitelywon’tbethelast,”Lucysaid.“Mom,Ithinkweshouldlookforahouse.The
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commutetothecenterwouldn’tbethatawfulandI’veseensomeveryattractivemenintown.”“I’mtoooldtobelooking
foraman,”Juliesaid.“Butyouarerightaboutthetown.Icanalmostimaginehowrelaxingitwouldbetocomehometoaplacelikethisafteratoughday.Icouldseemyselfsittingoutherewithaglassofwineand
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unwinding.”“MycousinLukehasapub
that’sgreatforunwindingandspendingtimehangingoutwithlocals.Sally’sCaféhasitsowncrowdinthemorningsandonweekends,especiallywhenit’snottouristseason,”Carriesaid.“Youreallyshouldconsiderit,Julie.Iloveitbecauseit’sbeenhomeformostofmylife,butI’velivedinalotof
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otherplacesand,believeme,nothingcompares.”“We’llsee,”Juliesaid.“Mom,what’sholdingyou
back?”Lucyprodded.“Youhateourhouse.Youhatethetrafficandhowcrowdedeverything’sgotten.”“Butitisamuchlonger
commutefromhere,”Julieprotested,thoughnotveryconvincingly.“Mostlyonacountryroad
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that’snotthatbusy,”Carriesaid,addingherencouragementtoLucy’s.“Andyou’dgettokeepaneyeonme,makesureyourprotégéisn’tmessingup.”Julieshookherhead.“I’m
notworriedaboutthat.You’regoingtodojustfine.”“Maybeweshouldback
off,”CarriesuggestedtoLucy.“Givehersometimetodrawherownconclusions.”
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“Nowthere’sanintriguingconcept,”Juliesaidwryly.“Iraisedalittlebulldozer.WhenLucywantssomething,shetendstorollrightoveranyoneoranythingthatgetsinherway.”Carrielaughed.“Welcome
tomyworld!Ihaveawholeslewofpeopleinmylifeexactlylikethat.Ifyoufigureouthowtostayoutoftheway,letmeknow.”
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Julienodded.“I’lladdittothoselistsI’mpassingalongtoyou.”Sheturnedherattentiontotheplatethewaiterhadjustplacedinfrontofherandsighed.“NowIamgoingtofocusonthesescallopsandsavoreverysinglebite.ThisissofarbeyondmyusualsaladdietImayneverleave.”LucyandCarriegaveeach
otherhighfives.
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“Missionaccomplished,”Lucysaidtriumphantly.Juliejustgaveherdaughter
along,hardlookandkeptrightoneating.Carrieenviedthemthe
bondthey’dformedbothasmotheranddaughterandascoworkers.Shewasclosetoherownmom,sosheknewhowrareitwastoviewaparentasapersonandnotjustanauthorityfigure.She
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hopedBobbyandSamfoundthatsortofrelationshiponeday.Ironically,shecouldn’thelpthinkinginsomewayitmightbeeasierbecauseofhowthey’dcometobetogether.ThehardpartforbothofthemmightbetheadjustmenttothinkingofSamastheauthoritypersoninBobby’slife,ratherthanthefununclewhobreezedintohislifeandoutagain.
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OneofthesedayssheneededtothinkaboutSam’swanderingwaysandwhethertheytrulywerebehindhim.EventhoughheseemedtohaveacceptedhisresponsibilityforBobbydidn’tmeanthetwoofthemcouldn’trelocateatthedropofahat.Andwherewouldthatleaveher?Everytimeshestartedtothinkshewasreadytotakeanotherriskwithher
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heart,herheadjumpedinwithsomethingjustlikethistorenewhercaution.
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17
Samdidn’thaveachancetotalktoMackprivatelyuntillateonTuesdayafterthey’dgottenthewebeditionofthepaperonlineandtheprinteditiontothecompanythatprinteditanddeliveredthebundlesofpaperstotownon
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Wednesdaymorning.Unsureofexactlyhowto
begin,Samfumbledthroughafewattempts,thenfinallysettledforsayingagainhowgenerousSusiehadbeen.Mackgavehimalong
look,thensighedheavily.“Iknowitwastoomuch,”hesaideventually.“AndIappreciateyounotcallingheronit.Susie’sstrugglingrightnow.”
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“Iheardabouttheadoption,”Samsaid.“I’msorry,but—”“ButBobbycan’tbethe
substituteforthebabywedidn’tget,”Macksaid,completingthethought.“Iknowthat,Sam.ButIcan’ttellyouhowworriedI’vebeenabouther.BeingaroundBobbymakesherhappy.Don’ttakethatlifelineawayfromher.”
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“Iwasn’tgoingto,”Samsaid.“Butmaybeweshouldhavesomeboundaries.”“Thatmakessense,”Mack
agreedreadily.“Doyouhavesomethinginmind?”Samshookhishead.“I
havenoideawhattheyoughttobe.Maybethatsheneedstocheckwithmefirstbeforeshoweringhimwithgiftsormakingarrangementstospendalittletimewithhim.
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Doyouthinkshecandothosetwothingswithoutfeelingasifshe’sbeingcutofffromcontactwithhimorthatI’mretaliatinginsomeway?Parentingisstillbrand-newtome,andthisparticularsituationwithSusiedefinitelywasn’toneIanticipated.”“Seemstomeyou’re
managingjustfine,”Macksaid.“Thenagain,Ididn’texactlyhaveanideal
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backgroundtocompareitto.Iwasn’tatallsureIwaspreparedtobeafather.”Hesighed.“Maybenoonewithanysenseeveris.Youjustdothebestyoucan.”“Isurehopethat’swhatit
takes,”Samsaid,“becauseIwakeupeverydayfeelingasifI’mabouttofailabysmally.”“Andyetyoudidn’ttake
theeasywayout.”
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“Whatwaywasthat?”“Youdidn’tturnBobby
overtohisgrandparents,You’vesaidtheywantedtofightyouforcustody.Youcouldhavewalkedawaywithaclearconscience.”Samshrugged.“Laureland
Robertchoseme.Theymusthavehadtheirreasons.Icouldn’tletthem—orBobby—downwithoutatleasttrying.Therehavebeena
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coupleofmomentshereandtherewhenI’veactuallythoughtthingswillworkoutokay.Bobby’sagreatkid.”“Hereallyis,”Mack
agreed.“YoushouldhaveheardhimwithSusie.”Thewordswerenosooneroutofhismouth,thanheheavedasigh.“Aboutthoseboundaries,Ithinkwhatyousuggestedisperfectlylogical.Thatsaid,Idon’tknowhow
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muchlogicentersintoanythingwithmywifethesedays.I’lldomybesttomakeherseethattheboundariesareinBobby’sbestinterests.”“I’dreallyappreciatethat,”
Samtoldhim.“Undernormalconditions,
Susieisgreatwithallthekids,butsheseemstohavecreatedsomesortofspecialattachmenttoBobby.Justthismorning,shementioned
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casuallythatshewonderedwho’dbelookingafterhimtonightwhileyou’rehere.ItoldherIwassureyou’dmadearrangements.Ittookallofmypersuasivepowerstokeepherfromcallingyouwithanoffertobabysit.”Mackfrownedevenashe
toldthestory,thenasked,“Orwouldyouhavewelcomedtheoffer?IfeelasifI’mwalkingatightropehere.”
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“IhadalreadymadeplansforBobby.He’soveratKevin’s.”Samrecalledthatconversation,thengaveMackacuriouslook.“IthoughtShannawassupposedtobeatyourhouseforsomefamilybook-clubthingthatSusie’shosting.”“Susiewasreadytocancel
thatifyouneededher,”Mackadmittedwithagrimace.“SeewhatImean?She’smade
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Bobbyatoppriority.”HestudiedSamforaminute,thensaidalittletoocasually,“IfiguredBobbywouldbewithCarrie.”Samrecognizedthatthere
wasmoretothequestion—thatMack,likeeveryoneelseinthefamily,wastryingtofigureouttheirrelationship.“Carrie’snotmy
designatedbabysitter,”hesaid,keepinghistoneneutral.
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Hemightbeannoyedbytheprobing,butitwassecondnaturetoO’Briensandanyoneconnectedtothem.“She’sagoodfriend.Rightnowshe’stryingtogetherdaycarereadytoopen.Shehasplentyonherplatewiththat.She’sofferedtopitchinwhenIneedher,butI’mnotgoingtotakeadvantageofher.”“Susieseemstothinkyou
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twoareanitem.”AssoonasMackspoke,hewinced.“Listentome.I’mturningintoasbadagossipastherestofthetown,tryingtowheedleinformationoutofyou.”AtleastMackobviously
feltguilty,whichallowedSamtochuckleathisdiscomfort.“Verylittleinformationtowheedle,”hesaidwithcompletecandor.“We’reexploringthe
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possibilitiesandthatisthelastIintendtosayaboutthat.”HeleveledalookthatwasintendedtomakeMacksquirm.“Unlessyourroleasmybossextendstomylifeoutsidetheoffice.”“Nope.Thetopicis
closed,”Macksaid.“Ishouldbegettinghome.Susiewasn’tlookingforwardtothiswholebook-clubgathering.Shewasconvincedthewomen
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plannedtostagesomesortofintervention.”“Aretheyqualifiedtodo
that?”Samasked,startled.“Hardly,butitdoesn’t
mattertoanO’Brien.Whentheyperceivethatoneoftheirownisstrugglingwithanything,theyjumponthecase.It’sablessingandacurse.Rightnow,mywifeconsidersittobeacurse.Shewantstowallowabitand,if
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youaskme,shehasarightto.It’snotthewallowingthatworriesmehalfasmuchasthemanicstuffthatinvolvesyournephew.Thanksfortryingtooverlookthatoratleastkeepitinperspective.I’lldomybesttoseethatitdoesn’tgetoutofhand.”Samnodded.“Fairenough.
Iamsorryashellaboutthewholeadoptionthing.Herethetwoofyouaresoanxious
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tobeparentsandIwindupwithcustodyofmynephew.Lifesuretakessomeunexpectedtwists.”“Itdoesthat,”Mack
agreed.“I’vegivenupontryingtofigureouttheplanandtriedtolearnjusttogowiththeflow.Susie’scancertaughtmethatlife’sprecariousandasmartpersonmakesthemostofwhatever’she’sgiven.”
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“Notabadphilosophy,”Samsaid.Itmightbeonehe’ddowelltofollowhimself,insteadofquestioningeveryunanticipatedtwistandturn.
***
Carriehadpapersspreadalloverherdining-roomtableandachecklistwhichseemedtobegrowing,ratherthan
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gettingshorter.Whenhercellphonerang,sheanswereditwithanunmistakabletouchofimpatience.Hertonewasmetbyan
equallytestyquestion.“Whyaren’tyouatmyhouse?”Carriestaredatthephone
inshockbeforeanswering.“Susie?”“Ofcourseit’sme.It’s
book-clubnightandeveryoneelseishereandthey’reall
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wonderingwhatI’vedonetooffendyou.Ofcoursenoonehasactuallysaidaword,butIcantellbythewaythey’relookingatme.Isthatwhatyouwanted,togetthewholefamilyonyourside?It’snotenoughthatthisgreatlittlekidjustfellintoyourlife?”Carriesighed.“Susie,this
isaconversationweprobablyneedtohaveface-to-face,butcertainlynottonightinfront
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ofhalfthefamily.”“Thenyouagreethere’sa
problem?”“Ithinkmaybeyou’veseen
onethatdoesn’texist,atleastnotfrommyperspective.”“Sonowyou’resaying
I’m,what,crazy?Imaginingthatyou’removinginonSamandBobby?”Carrieclungtoher
patiencebyathread.“I’mnotdiscussingthiswithyou,not
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likethis.”Silencegreetedherremark.
Thensheheardwhatsoundedlikeasob.“Susie?”Whentherewas
noreply,justmorechokedsobs,Carrietriedagain.“Susie,saysomething.Areyouokay?”“OfcourseI’mnotokay,”
Susiesaid,anoteofnearhysteriainhervoice.“IfIwere,Iwouldn’tbeacting
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likethis.Carrie,I’msorry.Itrulyam.I’vegottenintothisawful,darkplaceandIcan’tseemtodragmyselfout.”Everybitofangerdrained
awayasCarrieheardthesincerityandfearbehindhercousin’swords.“I’mcomingover,”shesaidquietly.“No,youwereright.This
isn’tthetimetohavesomesortofconfrontation.”“Howaboutjusta
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conversation,”Carriesuggested.“Everysinglepersonovertheretonightlovesyouandwantstohelp.Iwanttohelp,butnoneofusknowwhatyoureallyneed.”“Ineedababyofmyown,
achildIcanhold,”Susiewhispered,ahitchinhervoice.“Andnoneofyoucangivemethat.”“Connordesperatelywants
tohelpyoufindthatbaby,”
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Carrietoldher.“Youjustneedtotellhimyou’rereadytotryagain.EverybodyinthisfamilywantsyouandMacktofindtheperfectchild.”“I’lltakeanychild.Heor
shedoesn’thavetobeperfect.Goodnessknows,MackandIhaveourflaws.Irrationaljealousycomestomind.”“Itwasirrational,”Carrie
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agreed.“Butunderstandable.NowI’mheadingoverthere.How’sthesupplyofBen&Jerry’s?”“Therewereatleastsix
pintsbymycount,”Susiesaid.“EveryonemusthavethoughtIwasteeteringonthebrink.”Carrielaughed.“I’llbring
afewmore.Onepintapieceseemsaboutrightonanightlikethis.”
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“Thankyou.”“It’sicecream.Nobig
deal.”“No,forforgivingmy
craziness.Youhaveforgivenme,right?”“Forgivenandforgotten,”
Carriepromised.That’swhatshehopedanyoneinthefamilywoulddoforherifsheeverwentoffthedeepend.
***
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SamfoundCarrieatthecaféfirstthingonWednesdaymorning,sittingwiththeusualgroupofO’Brienwomen.TohissurpriseSusiewasamongthem,lookingmorerelaxedthanhe’dseenhersincethey’dfirstmet.Maybethatinterventionthingthey’dsupposedlystagedhadhelped,afterall.“MindifIborrowCarrie?”
heinquired,thoughhe
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honestlydidn’texpectanyobjections.“Youdon’twanttojoin
us?”Breeaskedhopefully.“Yes,dojoinus,”Heather
said.“Wewouldn’tmindobservingthedynamicsbetweenyoutwosowecoulddrawourownconclusions.Carriewon’ttellusathing.”Samlaughed.“Goodfor
Carrie.”Hemethergaze.“Doyoumindcomingwith
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me?”“Togetawayfromthese
meddlers?I’mallyours,”shesaideagerly.“Ofcourseyouare,”Bree
commentedwithsatisfaction.Outside,hestudied
Carrie’sface,smilingatthescatteringoffrecklesacrosshernoseandimagininghowthoseprobablyirritatedher.Hecouldn’thelpwonderingexactlywhenthesightofher
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hadstartedtofillhimwithsuchanintenseburstofhappiness.He’dneverthoughtofhimselfaslonelyorincomplete,butthatwasbeforehe’dmetthiswomanwhomadehimfeelasifhewerewhole.AddinBobby,andhislifewasfullinwayshe’dneveranticipated.Itwasalittlescary,butnotsoterrifyingthathedidn’twanttostickaroundtoseewhat
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camenext.“Okay,you’vegottenme
awayfrommyfamily,forwhichIamprofoundlygrateful,”CarriesaideventuallyastheyheadedtowardShoreRoad.“What’sonyourmind?”Heregardedherblankly.
“Nothinginparticular.Why?”“Yourealizethatmakesno
sense.Youinterruptedaget-
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together,draggedmeaway,andforwhat?Youhavenoidea?”Hegrinned.“Ispottedyou
insideatSally’sandsuddenlyfeltthisneedtohaveyoualltomyself.”“Really?”shesaid,
soundingsurprised,evenasasmileseemedtobespreadingacrossherface.“Ican’tgetenoughofyou,
Iguess.Doyoumind?”
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“Sincetheywereabouttensecondsawayfrominterrogatingmeyetagainaboutourrelationship,yourtimingcouldn’thavebeenbetterfrommyperspective,thoughIimaginemydisappearancejustnowwillonlyfueltheiralreadyoveractiveimaginations.”“Sorry.”Sheshruggeditoff.“It’s
whattheydo.”
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“Howaboutacappuccino?”heaskedastheyturnedthecorner.“IcangetthemtogoatPaniniBistroandwecansitononeofthebenchesacrossthestreet.Doyouhavetime?”Carrienodded.“Sure.
JacksonisatthechurchdaycaretodayandI’mnotvolunteeringatJulie’s.Ihaveamillionandonethingstodoatmynewbuilding,but
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GrandpaMickisoverseeingthatandthelesstimeIspendunderfoot,thebetter.Hishelpcomeswithtoomanyintrusivequestions.”“SoI’vesavedyouon
severalfrontsthismorning?”“Atleasttwo,”sheagreed.
“Yay,you!”Yay,indeed,Samthought.
“I’llgetthecoffees.Whydon’tyousnagabenchbeforethetouristsgrabthemall?”
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WhenSamrejoinedher,shewasstaringathercellphonewithafrownonherface.“Problem?”heaskedashe
handedoverhercoffee,thensatnexttoher.Shelookedstartledbyhis
return.Shequicklyjammedthephoneinherpurse,thegestureoddlyangry.“No,”shesaidtersely.Samregardedherin
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silenceandwaited.“Okay,itwasatextfrom
Marc,”shesaid.“Thedesignerjerk,”Sam
said,drawingafaintsmile.“Couldn’thavedescribed
himbettermyself,”shesaid.“Whatdidhewant?”“Hewantedmetoreturn
hiscallsoroneoftheprevioustentextshe’ssentovernight.”Samfelthisheartbeat
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accelerateinsomethingthatfeltlikepanic.“Seemstobeimportant.”Shedrewinadeepbreath,
thenforcedabrightsmilethatdidn’tfooleitheroneofthem.“Nottome.”Sheglancedtowardthebay.“It’sanabsolutelybeautifulmorning,isn’tit?”Thebay,sparklingwith
morningsunlight,wasspreadbeforethem.Thebluesky
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wasdottedwiththemerestwispsofwhiteclouds.Ospreysswoopedoverhead,thenheadedforimpressivenestsatoppolesthathadbeenerectedspecificallyforthatpurpose.Thetownhadinstalledtheminanattempttokeeptheospreyfromchoosingthesewaterfrontbenchesfortheirnests,astheyhadoneyear,forcingthehumanstoremainata
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distance.Bobbyhadtoldhimaboutthat.ApparentlyadelightedDaveyhadfilledhimin,whileexplainingthattheospreywereprotected.“Beautiful,”Samagreed,
thoughhisgazewasonCarrie.“We’removingintofall.I
wonderhowmanymoregloriousdayswe’llhavelikethis,”Carriesaid,herfaceturneduptothesun.“When
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it’slikethis,IwishIcouldsitrightherealldaylong.”“Courtingsunburn?”Sam
teased,touchingafingertiptohernose.“EnoughSPF30andIcan
sithereindefinitely,”shecountered.“Thesefrecklessuggest
you’veforgottenitatimeortwo.”“Yes,well,Momand
Gramcouldn’talwayscatch
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mebeforeIgotoutside,”shesaidwithalaugh,thensuddenlypulledhercellphonefromherpurse.Samregardedher
curiously.“Areyougoingtorespondtothattext,afterall?”“Notachance.Youjust
remindedmetoaddsuntanlotiontomylistofsuppliesforthedaycare,”shesaid,typingaquicknotetoherself.
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Sampluckedthephonefromhergraspandtuckeditintohisownpocket.“Obviouslymymerepresenceisn’tenoughtodistractyou,”hemurmured.Hereyeswidened.“What
didyouhaveinmind?”“ThesamethingI’vehad
inmindeversincethefirsttimeIdidit,”hesaid,movingcloseruntilhecouldclaimherlips.
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Thekisswasasintoxicatingashe’dremembered,maybeevenalittlemorepotent.Champagneintoxicating,ratherthanbeer,perhaps.Whateveritwas,hecouldn’trecallasingletimeinhislifewhenasimplekisshadmadehimlongtoleapintosomethingmorethanbed,somethinglasting.Whenhepulledaway,he
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keptahandagainsthercheekinacaress.“JustthewayIremembereditfromtheothernight,”hesaid.“Bettereven.”Carriesmiled.“Ismy
techniqueimproving?”“No,youjustgetmore
infatuatingeverytimeIseeyou.”“Whoknewyouhadsucha
waywithwords?DoesMackknowaboutthat?He’llhaveyouwritingarticlesaswellas
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designingthepaper,ifyou’renotcareful.”Samchuckled.“Trustme,
Mackdoesnotinspiremetowaxpoetic.”Heheldhergaze.“Ireallywanttokissyouagain,”hemurmured.“Whydon’tyou?”“BecauseIamsuddenly
verymuchawarethatwearesittinginpublicinbroaddaylightjustacrossthestreetfromshopsownedbyyour
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grandmotherandHeather,aswellasLuke’spub.”“Goodpoint,”shesaid,
thoughhersighsuggestedshewasasdisappointedbythatashewas.“Maybewecouldcontinue
thislater,someplacealittlemoreprivate.Ican’tabandonBobbyagaintonight,butyoucouldcomeoverfordinner.Maybehangouttillafterhe’sasleep.Anyinterest?”
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“What’sfordinner?”“IthinkIcanmanage
burgersonthegrillandasalad.”“Whydon’tIbring
dessert?I’mthinkingvanillaicecreamandsomepeaches.Ifoundsomeatthefarmstandyesterday,lastoftheseasonmorethanlikely.”“Bobbywilllovethat.”Sheregardedhimwith
surprise.“Notyou?”
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Samwinkedather.“Ihaveamuchmoregrown-updessertinmind.”Carrielaughed.“Then
you’reinforabigdisappointment.NotwithBobbyinthehouse.”Herealizedshewasdead
seriousandsighed.“You’reright.Wedon’twanthimtocatchusintheactandstartgettingideas.”“Exactly,”shesaid.
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“You’restartingtothinklikeaparent.”“ButIstillwantsomeof
theperksofbeingabachelor,”hetoldher,leaningintostealonemorequickkissmeanttoholdhim.“Patience,”shesaid.“I’m
notgoinganywhere.”She’dtoldSamthatbefore,
buthecertainlydidn’tmindthereassurance.Becausedespiteherenthusiasmforher
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day-careprojectandheravowedloveforChesapeakeShores,hecouldn’thelpwonderingifsomedaydowntheroadtheallureofParisorItalywouldsuddenlybecometoostrongtoresist.AndwithMarcReynoldsseeminglytryingtogetbackintothepicture,itwasaconcernhecouldn’tseemtoshake.WasCarrieasimmunetothemanassheseemedtobe?Ordid
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hehavethepowertohurtheryetagain?
***
Carriehadbeensurprisedbyhowmuchredtapewasinvolvedwithgettingherselflicensedtoopenaday-carefacility.Sheprobablyshouldn’thavebeen,givenalltheinstructionsJuliehadgivenher.Maybeitwasthe
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factthatinsomanywaysbeinganO’Brienmadelifeeasy.Hergrandfatherwasusuallyabletomakehurdlesdisappear.Notthistime.Shewasdealingwithanew,by-the-booksbureaucracy,andsherelishedthechallenge.Betweenthepaperwork,
doingtherenovationsshefeltwerenecessarytocreateabrightcomfortablespaceforthekids,interviewingforhelp
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anddoingbackgroundchecksonhertopcandidates,keepingupwithheronlineclassesandstillvolunteeringatJulie’s,shehadpreciouslittletimeforbabysittinghernephewortheotherO’Brienchildrenwho’dbeencomingaroundforthepastfewmonths.Thefewstolenmomentsshe’dsharedwithSamonthewaterfrontthismorninghadbeenarare
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breakfromsendingoffforms,answeringendlessquestions,establishinganaccountatthebankandgoingthroughcatalogsforsupplies.Everythingseemedtotakealotlongerthanshe’danticipated.Shewasinthesmalloffice
she’dcarvedoutforherselfinwhathadoncebeenawalk-incoatclosetandhadjusthungupthetelephoneafterdealing
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withyetanotherrequestforinformationshethoughtshe’dalreadysupplied—intriplicate,infact—whenConnorwanderedintocheckontheprogress.Sincehislawofficewasjustupthestreet,hisvisitswereprettymuchdaily.Sowerethoseofalmosteveryoneelseinthefamily,especiallysincehergrandfatherhadassignedoneofhiscrewstodothe
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renovationsshewanted.Today,though,she
suddenlyrealizedsomethingwasdifferent.Connorhadanenvelopeinhishandandacat-that-swallowed-the-canarysparkinhiseyes.“Isthatit?”sheasked
excitedly.“AmIlegal?”“Mostly,”hetoldher,
handingoverthepaperwork.“Therewillbeafinalinspectiononceallthework
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inhereisfinished,butyou’vepassedallthescreenings.ThestateofMarylandhasdeemedyoufittobetrustedwithchildren.”Shegrinnedathim.“You
soundsurprised.ItoldyouIwasneverinanylegaltrouble.Imighthavegottenintoalotofmischiefovertheyears,butInevercrossedaline.Andunlikesomepeoplewecouldprobablyname,
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GrandpaMickneverhadtostepinandcleanupanyofmymesses.”Connorscowledather.
“Hey,IhadonespeedingticketwhenIwasjustateenager.That’sit.”Hergrinspread.“Butit
wasinGrandpaMick’sprizedclassicMustang,whichyoudidnothavepermissiontodrive,asIrecall.”
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Heruncle’sscowldeepened.“Mymotherobviouslyhasabigmouth.Shewassupposedtotakethatsecrettohergrave.”Carrielaughed.“Afraid
not.Weallheardthestory.GrandmaMeganseemstoenjoysharingit,especiallywhensheknowsitwillgetGrandpaMickallriledup.”“Let’sstayfocusedon
business,notmymisdeeds,
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okay?”Connorgrumbledinawaythatremindedherofjusthowmuchhe’dmaturedfromthoserebelliousteenyears.“Finewithme,”Carrie
said,fightingforamoreseriousexpression.“Whenwereyouhopingto
open?”“GrandpaMicksayshis
crewswillbeoutofherebytheendofSeptember.Allthefurnitureandsuppliesare
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scheduledforthefollowingweek.I’dsayweshouldbereadyforthatfinalinspectionbymid-October,orNovember1atthelatest.I’vealreadyhadinquiriesfromafewpeopleaboutwhetherI’llbeopenintimetoacceptkidsforthefallschoolholidayperiodsthatparentscan’talwaysgetofffromwork.AndIhaveahalfdozennamesoffamilieslookingfor
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apermanentplacefortheirtoddlersthat’sclosertohome.”“Youhaven’tguaranteed
anything,haveyou?”“Ofcoursenot.I’vetold
themI’llcalltheminuteIhaveallthenecessaryapprovals.Iwanttobecarefulnottotakeontoomanychildrenatonce.Withmebeingnewtothisandanewstaff,Ican’triskus
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beingoverwhelmedandmakingmistakes.Tobehonest,I’dbehappyenoughtogetopenbytheendoftheyearonceI’vefinishedmyclassesandgotteninafewmoreweeksofworkingwithJulie.”Connornodded
approvingly.“Smartthinking.”Carriecouldn’tseemto
stopasmilefromspreading
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acrossherface.“Connor,thisisreallygoingtohappen,isn’tit?”“Looksthatway.”His
expressionsuddenlyturnedworried.“Youaren’tgoingtopanicandchangeyourmind,areyou?”Thiswasaboutthetenth
memberofthefamilytoaskherthesamequestionthisweekalone.Shewasoutofpatiencewithit.“Howflighty
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doyouallthinkIam?Howmanytimeswereyouaskedifyouweresureaboutgoingtolawschool?IdoubtanybodyquestionedmymomaboutgoingtoworkonWallStreet.”Connorgaveheran
incredulouslook.“Areyoukiddingme?EvenafterI’dgraduatedfromlawschoolandgonetoworkinBaltimore,thefamilywasall
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overmeforchoosingdivorcelaw.NobodywasveryhappywithmeuntilI’dmovedmypracticedownhere.AndyourmomchosetoworkinNewYorkinitially.Thatcauseditsownsortofruckus.Let’snotforgetKevindecidingtogotoworkforUncleThomas,whichsetmydad’steethonedge.OrBreegoingofftoChicagotobeaplaywright,whichisnotexactlyastable
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profession.Thisfamilyisincrediblysupportive,buttheydon’thesitatetonudgeandmaneuverandspeaktheirmindsuntilwe’relivingaccordingtosomegrandplanDadhasinmindforus.”Carriewinced.“Iseeyour
point.Thisjustseemsreallypersonal.”Helaughed.“Well,of
courseitdoes.It’sfocusedonyou.Justrememberthatin
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yourcase,they’renotjustaskingbecausetheythinkyoumadethewrongchoice.They’reaskingtogiveyouanopeningtochangeyourmind.O’Briensmaypushandprodtogetanyofustogoinaparticulardirection,butthebottomlineisalltheyreallycareaboutiswhetherwe’rehappy.Ittookmeawhiletograspthatmyself,especiallysincelivinginChesapeake
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ShoresonceMomcamebackwasnotpartofmylifeplan.”Shestudiedhim.“No
regretsnow,though,right?”“Notaone.Andallofmy
issueswithMomleavingyearsagoareinthepast.Imaynevertotallyunderstandherchoices,butI’vestoppedreactinglikeanimmaturekid.She’sactuallyaprettygreatpersonandshe’sreallypulledthroughforHeatherandme
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morethanonce.”Carrieknewhowhardher
grandmotherhadworkedtomakeamendsforleavingGrandpaMickandmovingtoNewYork,leavingherchildrentoberaisedbyhimandNell.Everyoneinthefamilyhadfinallymadepeacewiththatdifficulttime.“I’mgladyou’vemoved
on,”shetoldheruncle.Heshrugged.“Itwaspast
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time.Howaboutyou?AnyregretsaboutnotgoingbacktoEuropeorNewYork?”Sheshookherhead
withoutamoment’shesitation.“Iknowthisisright.Iknowit’sgoingtomakemehappy,”Carriesaidwithcertainty.ShewasconvincedenoughtogorightonignoringallofMarc’stextsandvoicemails.“Thengivethefamilysix
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months,showthemhowdeliriouslycontentyouare,andthey’llallbeclaimingitwastheiridea,”Connorsaid.Carrielaughed.Hewas
right.Takingcredit,evenfordecisionsthey’ddiscouragedthatturnedoutokay,wasdefinitelytheO’Brienway.
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18
Thoughhe’dhadnoexperiencedealingwiththem,SamhadheardplentyabouttheterribletwoswhenBobbyhadbeenthatage.Laurelhadcalledfromtimetotimeintears,becauseherstubbornsonseemedtoknowonlyone
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word,no,saidemphaticallyinresponsetoanythingsheaskedofhim.TonightitseemedBobby
hadrevertedtothosedaysorsomethingveryclosetoit.WhenSamaskedhimtopickuphisnewtoysthathadbeenleftscatteredalloverthelivingroomfloor,Bobbyscowledathim,turnedhisbackandranfromtheroom.Sinceitwasthefirsttime
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he’dbeenopenlydefiantinquitethisway,Samwasshocked.“Youngman,comeback
here,”hecommandedinwhathethoughtsoundedlikeasufficientlyparentaltone.Bobbykeptrighton
running,hisfootstepsechoingonthehardwoodfloors.Whenheevidentlyreachedhisroom,heslammedthatdoorbehindhim.
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Samstaredafterhimindismay.Workingtokeepareinonhisowntemper,hetookadeepbreath,walkeddownthehallandopenedthedoor.Heknewheneededtogetanexplanationbeforetacklingtheboy’sintolerablebehavior.Thiswasthefirsttimehe’dfelttheneedtoestablishsomebasicgroundrules.ItwasareminderthatBobby,forallofhisgood
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traits,wasstillalittleboyinneedofthekindofguidanceSamwasn’tsurehewasqualifiedtogive.Bobbywassittingonthe
floorwithhisnewTransformers,listlesslymovingthemaround.Hedidn’tgiveSamsomuchasaglance.Samwantedtoscreamatthekidandremindhimwhowasthebossaroundhere,butsomethinginthe
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dejectedsetofBobby’sshoulderskepthimfromdoingthat.Instead,hesatonthefloornexttohim.Afterseveralminutesof
continuedsilence,whichgavebothofthemtimetocalmdownandthink,heasked,“Okay,pal,talktome.What’sup?”Bobbycontinuedto
pretendSamwasn’teventhere.WhenSamtouchedhis
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shoulder,Bobbyjerkedaway.EventhoughSamremindedhimselfthatthekidwasinsomesortofturmoil,hewassurprisedbyjusthowmuchtherejectionhurt.“Howwasschooltoday?”
Samasked,searchingforsomelogicalexplanationforBobby’smood.Abaddayatschoolwasthefirstthingthatcametomind.Hecouldrecallafewofthoseinhisown
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past.Hedrewashrugin
response,whichwasbetterthanbeingignored,butnotexactlyilluminating.“Didyouhaveatest?”Sam
persisted.FailingaspellingtestorgettingamathproblemwronginfrontoftheclassmightseemdevastatingtoakidBobby’sage.Ordidtheyevenhavethosesortoftestsinfirstgrade?Ithadbeena
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verylongtimesinceSamhadstartedschool.Samgotnothingin
response.“Atleastrecessmusthave
beenfun.Ordidyoufalldown?Skinyourknee?”Again,nothing.Sambit
backasigh.“Didyourteacherreadto
youtoday?Iknowyoulikethat.”Bobby’sscowldeepened
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andtearsleakedoutandtrickleddownhischeeks.“It’snotaboutschool,okay?”heblurtedfinally.“Leavemealone.”Saminchedcloser,but
didn’treachout.“Sorry,buddy.Ican’tdothat.Iknowyou’reupsetaboutsomething.Rememberwhatwedecidedwhenyoufirstcametotown?”Bobbysniffed,butkepthis
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gazedowncast.“What?”“Thatwe’reateam,”Sam
remindedhim.“ThatmeansI’myourbackup,soifsomethingorsomebodymakesyoufeelbad,I’mheretohelp.”“Youcan’tfixthis,”Bobby
saidwearily,clearlyresignedtosufferingalone.HisattitudemadeSam
wanttocry.Nosix-year-oldshouldbefeelingthis
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defeated.“Fixwhat?MaybeIcan’t,butyouhavetotellmesoIcanatleasttry.”Bobbygavehimawhat’s-
the-pointlook,butwhenSamcontinuedtowaitforareply,hefinallysaid,“Grandmacalled.”“That’snice,”Samsaid
carefully.UsuallycallsfromhisgrandparentsperkedupBobby’sspirits,butclearlytherehadbeensomething
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differentaboutthisone.“Whatdidshehavetosay?”Theforlornexpressionthat
washedoverBobby’sfaceoncemoremadeSamwanttocry.“ShesaiditwasDaddy’s
birthdayandaskedmewhatIwasdoingtocelebrate.”HeturnedtoSam,tearsstreamingnow.“ButIwasn’tdoinganything,becauseIforgot.”
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ThistimewhenSamreachedouttogatherBobbyclose,theboypracticallythrewhimselfintoSam’sarms,hisshouldersshakingashesobbed.Samfeltlikejoiningin,lettinggooftheemotionsthathe’dkeptmostlyburiedeversincetheaccident.Instead,hefocusedonBobby,whowasclingingtohimasifhewasafraidtoletgo.
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“It’sokay,”hesoothed,eventhoughheknewnothingwouldeverbetotallyokayagain.SamwishedRobert’s
motherwereheresohecouldgiveherapieceofhismind,butrationallyheknewshe’donlyreachedouttohergrandsonasawaytofeelconnectedtohersononadayshecouldnolongercelebratewithRobert.Shehadn’t
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meanttomakeBobbyfeelbadforforgetting.Heck,evensheprobablyknewthatBobbycouldbarelyrememberwherehe’dkickedoffhisshoesthenightbefore,muchlessimportantdates.“Ididn’tmeantoforget,”
Bobbywhisperedbrokenly.“Itdoesn’tmeanI’veforgottenmydad.”“Iknow,pal.And,believe
me,yourgrandmother’snot
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madatyou.She’sprobablyjustfeelingalittlesadtoday.Youknow,thewayyoufeelsometimeswhenyouthinkaboutyourdadoryourmomandrealizeyoucan’tseethem.”Hischeeksstilldamp,
BobbygaveSamahopefullook.“CouldwedosomethingforDad’sbirthday?It’snottoolate,isit?”
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“Itisdefinitelynottoolate,”Samsaid,makingaspontaneousdecisiontomakethisright.This,thankgoodness,wasthesortofproblemhecouldhandle.“Carrie’scomingoverinalittlewhile.She’sbringingpeachesandicecreamfordessert.Whydon’tIaskifshecanpickupsomecupcakesandsomebirthdaycandles?”
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ThesparkreturnedtoBobby’seyes.“Sometimespeoplehaveballoonsandletthemfloatintotheair,sopeoplecanseethemfromheaven.Couldwedothat,too?”“I’llchecktoseeif
anyplaceisstillopenthatsellsballoonswithheliuminthem,”Sampromised.“Howdoesthatsound?Andwe’lltakepictureswiththecell
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phoneandsendthemtoyourgrandmother.Ithinkitwillmakehersmiletoseehowwe’vecelebratedyourdad’sbirthday.”“Allright!”Bobby
enthusedwiththefistpumpSamhadconcludedalwaysaccompaniedhissolidapprovalforanyplan.“Now,whileIcallCarrie
andgettheballrollingforthisbirthdaycelebration,why
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don’tyoupickupthosetoyssoshedoesn’ttriponthemandfallonherfacewhenshewalksinthedoor?”“Okay,”Bobbysaid
agreeablyandracedoff.Samstayedwherehewas
anddrewinadeepbreath.He’davertedonecrisis,buthowmanyhundredsmorewouldtherebelikeit?WashereallyuptoprovidingthesupportthatBobbyneeded?
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“Nochoice,”heremindedhimselffirmly.“We’reateam.”Thatwasthepromisehe’d
madeandhehadeveryintentionofdoingwhateverwasrequiredtokeepit.Ascrazyasitseemed,itappearedheandhisnephewwouldbegrowinguptogether.
***
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WhenSamtoldCarriewhathadhappened,sheaddedafewextrathingstohershoppinglist.FortunatelyEthel’sEmporiumwasalwayswellstockedwithbirthdaysupplies.Shefoundballoons,abannerthatspelledoutHappyBirthdayincolorfullettersalongwithbirthdaypaperplates,matchingbowlsforicecreamandnapkins.Sheevenfound
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asillypairofsunglassesforBobbythathadbirthdaycandlesandwishesontheframe.“DidImissabirthday?”
Ethelasked.“Iusuallyknowwhenone’scomingupbecausehalfyourfamilyisinherebuyingupmostofmystock.”“Longstory,”Carriesaid.
“Butit’snotforanO’Brienthistime.”
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“Iimaginetherearegoingtobequiteafewbirthdaypartiesinyourfuture,”Ethelsaid,backingofffromhernaturaltendencytoasktoomanyquestions.“Seemstomeadaycarewillprobablybehavingpartiesonaregularbasis.”CarrieregardedEthelwith
surpriseassherecognizedthevalidityofherstatement,thenimmediatelyduginherpurse
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forhercellphone.Sheaddedanothernotetoherlongto-dolist,thenmetEthel’scuriousgaze.“Addingareminder,”sheexplained.“DoIneedtofindasupplierorcouldweworksomethingout?”Ethelbeamedather.“I
wasn’tanglingtomakeasale,butI’mhappytohelpout.I’llgetyouanythingyouneedandgiveyouaproperdiscount,too.Yourfamily
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practicallykeepsmeinbusiness.Icandothistoreturnthefavor.”“Iknowweshopinherea
lot,butit’sthetouristswhokeepthistownafloateconomically,”Carriesaid.“I’veseenformyselfhowmanybagstheycarryoutofhereonanygivenday.”“Onanygivensummer
day,”Ethelcorrected,thenpaused,herexpression
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thoughtfulassheapparentlyconsideredherbusinesstrends.“Okay,andmaybeinthespringandfall,butit’sthelocalswhoseetoitImakeitthroughthewinter.I’mnotlikelytoforgetthat.Ithelpsthatyourgranddaddyisinheremosteverydaybuyingabigsackofpennycandyforallthekidshespoils.”Carrielaughed.“CaitandI
werethefirstbeneficiariesof
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that.BetweenhimandTrace,it’sawonderourteethdidn’trot.”“Well,youandyourtwin
stillhavethoseprettysmiles,soitdidn’tdoeitherofyouanyharm.Iimaginetheothergrandchildrenandgreat-grandchildrenwilldojustfinewithallthatsugar,too.”SheputCarrie’spurchasesintoabag,thentiedahalfdozenribbonsaroundher
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wristtokeeptheballoonsfromsailingaway.“Haveagoodtime
tonight,”Ethelcalledafterher.Ethel’swordslingeredas
Carrieleftthestore.ShethoughtofwhatSamhadinmindfordessert.Maybetheywouldn’tquitegettothat,giventheirpint-sizechaperone,buttheappetizerleadinguptoitpromisedto
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besuperb.
***
Tearsforgotten,BobbywasbouncingwithexcitementbythetimeCarriearrivedontheirdoorstepladendownwithbags.ToBobby’sunmistakabledelight,shehadabunchofcolorfulballoonsonlong,matchingribbons.“You’dbettertietheseto
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thebackofachairorsomething,”sheadvisedSamwhenshehandedthemover.“Otherwise,they’llbeontheceilingwhenitcomestimetoreleasethem.”ShegrinnedatBobby.“Isthatwhatyouhadinmind—lettingthemgo,sothey’dfloatintotheskywhereyourdadcanseethem?”Bobbynodded.“Won’t
thatbecool?”
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“Itwillbeamazing.”Shebrushedhishairbackfromhisforehead,thetendergestureremindingSamthatBobbywasinneedofahaircut,somethingelsehe’dforgottenabout.“Andyou’resosweettohavethoughtofit.”Sambitbackachuckleas
Bobbymadeanexaggeratedgaggingsound.“Notsweet?”Carrieasked
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innocently.“Howaboutawesome?Incredible?Stupendous?”Bobby’sexpression
falteredatthelastsuggestion.“Idon’tknowwhatthatonemeans.”“Itmeansamazing.”Hissmilecameback.
“Cool.”“Let’sseewhatelsewe
haveherefortheparty,”Samsaidashestartedpoking
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throughthebags.“Cupcakeswithchocolatefrosting.”“Theverybestkind,”
Bobbysaid.“Daddylovedchocolate.That’swhathealwayswantedforhisbirthday.”Carriestudiedhim.“Is
chocolateokayforyou,too?”“Ilovechocolate,”he
confirmed.Shenoddedwithevident
satisfaction.“Ihadafeeling
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aboutthat.”“Candles,plates,and
what’sthis?”Samdrewapairofbrightlycoloredbirthdaysunglassesfromthebag.“Who’swearingthese?Notme,Ihope,”hesaid,evenasheputthemon.Bobbydoubledoverwith
giggles.“Youlooksilly.”Carriesmiled.“Ithinkthey
makeyoulookveryhandsome.Noteveryguyis
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manenoughtocarryoffthatstyle.”Samfelthisheartflipover
justalittleattheteasing.“Andyou,Ms.FashionExpert,thinkIam?”heasked,holdinghergaze.“Definitely.”Somethingwarmand
almosttangibleshimmeredintheairbetweenthemuntilBobbycutinimpatiently.“IthinkIshouldgetto
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weartheglasses,”hesaid.Samfeignedreluctanceas
heremovedthem.“Isupposesincethispartyisforyourdad,youprobablyshouldgettoweartheglasses,butit’sgoingtobereallyhardformetopartwiththem.”Bobbylookedasifhe
weren’tquitesureifSamwasserious.Eventuallyheseemedtoconcludehemightbe.“Youcanhavethemback
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whentheparty’sover.”“Thanks,pal,”Samsaid.
“Nowlet’sgetthispartystartedbeforeitgetsdarkout.Bobby,helpCarrieputtheicecreaminthefreezer,sowedon’twindupeatingvanillasoup.”“Yuck!”Bobbysaid,
grabbingherhandandpullinghertowardthekitchen.Astheypassedcloseby,
Samleanedtowardherand
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whispered,“Iamreally,reallylookingforwardtodessert.”Shegavehimablandlook,
eventhoughhereyesweretwinkling.“Iintendtosavoreverybiteofthemaincourse.”Bobbygavethetwoof
themanoddlook.“Iwanteverything,”hedeclared.“Thengetthaticecream
putawayandlet’sgetthe
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grillfiredupfortheburgers.Thebutteredcornisreadytogoon,too.Theguyatthefarmstandsaysit’saboutthelastoftheSilverQueenvarietyforthisyear.Bringthesaladwithyouwhenyoucomeout.Bottlesofdressingareinthedoorofthefridge.”TwentyminuteslaterSam
andCarriewereeatingcheeseburgerswiththickslicesoftomato,whileBobby
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ateahotdog,alast-minutesubstitutioninthemenu.Samhadcutthegrilledcobsofcornintomanageable,sweetlydeliciousbite-sizesections.“BestburgerI’vehadall
summer,”Carriedeclared.“Ithoughtyourfamilyhad
bigbarbecuesallthetime,”Samsaid.“Oristhatjustwishfulthinkingonmypart?”“Oh,no.GrandpaMick
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considershimselfkingofthegrill.He’sinhisgloryatourannualFourthofJulycelebration,thebiggestfamilyeventoftheyearasidefromChristmasandThanksgiving.Unfortunately,he’seasilydistracted,sowesometimesgetvery,verywell-donehamburgers,andthat’sbeingkind.”Shetookanotherbiteofhercheeseburger,closedhereyes
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andsighed.“These,however,areperfect.”“Amazing,considering
howeasilyyoucandistractme,”Samsaid.“That’swhyIstayedbusy
insideforsolong,”Carrieclaimed,grinning.“Ifyouthinkaboutit,Ididnotappearuntilyou’dputtheseburgersontotheirbuns.”“Soweowethesuccessof
mycookingtoyour
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forethoughtandconsideration?”heasked,laughing.Shenoddedsolemnly.“I
thinkso.”“Whenarewegonnahave
cupcakesandicecream?”Bobbyasked,hismouthfullofhotdog.“Whenyoufinisheating,”
Samtoldhim.“Swallow,please,beforeyouspeak.”“Oh,yeah,”Bobbysaid,
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thenmadeashowofchewing.Heputtherestofthehotdogonhisplate.“I’mdone.”Carriestoodup.“Okay,
then.Icecreamandcupcakescomingup.”“I’llhelpyougetthem,”
Samsaid,standingtofollowher.Inside,hemovedclose,
turnedheraroundandtiltedherchin,thenclaimedher
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lips.“I’vebeenwantingtodothatsinceyougothere,”hesaid,evenashereluctantlytookastepback.“Butthat’sprobablygoingtohavetoholdme.GivenBobby’simpatience,hecouldwalkinhereanysecond.”“Goodthinking,”Carrie
said.“Butjustsoyouknow,it’sbeenonmymind,too.”“That’sencouraging.”
Whensheturnedandwould
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havereachedouttoopenthefreezerdoor,heputhishandoverhers.“Carrie,arewecrazy?”“Whatdoyoumean?”“You’reinthemiddleof
thislife-alteringcareerchange.I’manovernightsingledad.Areeitherofusinanypositiontomakeourlivesmorecomplicated?”“Idon’tknow,”shesaid
softly.“ButIknowwhatmy
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grandmotherwouldsay.”“What’sthat?”“Thatlovedoesn’talways
comealongwhenit’sconvenient.”Nosoonerhadthewordsleftherlipsthansheblushed.“Notthatwe’retalkingaboutlove,ofcourse.Thisislust,right?That’sallitis.”Shesoundedsodesperate,
Sambarelyresistedlaughing.“Areyouaskingmeortelling
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me?”“Ihonestlydon’tknow.
Howaboutyou?Whatdoyouthinkisgoingon?”BeforeSamcouldanswer,
Bobbyburstintothekitchen.“What’stakingsolong?”Samdrewinadeepbreath.
“We’llbethereinaminute.Whydon’tyougettheballoonsfromthediningroom.Hangontight,though,andI’lltiethemtosomething
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outsideassoonasIgetthere.”“Hurryup!”Bobby
commandedexcitedly.“It’sgonnabetoodarktosee’emfloatawayprettysoon.”Asheranoff,Samonce
againturnedCarrietofacehim.“Tobecontinued,”heassuredher,thentouchedhercheekwithaquickcaress.“That’sapromise.”“Agreed.”
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Bobbychosethatmomenttoracebackthrough,theballoonsclutchedtightlyinhishand.SamandCarriefollowedwithbowls,plates,icecream,cupcakesandcandles.Sampulledouthiscellphone,readytorecordtheimpromptuparty.AsBobbyhadreminded
them,thesunwassinkingtowardthehorizoninafinalburstofcolor.Carriequickly
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litthecandlesonthecupcakesandtheyallmadewishesandblewthemout,thenBobbysolemnlyreleasedtheballoonsintotheair.“Happybirthday,Dad!”he
said,hisheadtilteduptofollowthepathoftheballoonsastheydriftedaway,brightspotsofred,blue,greenandpurpledottingthelaststreaksoforange-tintedsky.
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Carriestartedsinging“HappyBirthday”andBobbyandSamchimedin.Nearlyoverwhelmedbythesweetpoignanceofthemoment,Samrecordeditallwithhiscellphone,thenshutitoffasthefinalnotesofthesongandthelastballoondriftedawayontheeveningbreeze.“Thatwasthebestbirthday
partyever!”Carriesaid,givingBobby’sshouldera
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squeeze.“Iknowyourdadissohappyyouthoughtofit.”“Imisshim,”Bobby
whispered,thenreachedoutforSam’shand.“ButnowIhaveyou.”“That’sright,”Samsaid,
hisvoiceoddlychoked.“Nowyouhaveme.”Forbetterorworse.And
everysingleday,heintendedtopraylikecrazythatitwouldbeforthebestforthis
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littleboywho’dlostsomuch.
***
ThecallfromtheschoolthemorningafterthebirthdaycelebrationcaughtSamcompletelyoffguard.Hewasuptohiseyeballswithtryingtocorrectaseriousglitchonthepaper’swebsitewhenthecounselorcalledtotellhimBobbyhadbeeninafighton
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theplayground.He’dgottenasplitlip,whichtheschoolnursethoughtmightneedstitches.“What’swrong?”Mack
askedwhenhehungupthephone,obviouslyshaken.Samfilledhimin.“Ican’t
imagineBobbyinafight.Ihavetogo.Heneedstoseeadoctor.”“Go,”Macksaidatonce.“OrIcouldgethim,”Susie
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offered.ShehadbroughtinlunchforthemsincecorrectingthetechproblemhadbothMackandSamtearingtheirhairout.SamhaddiscoveredthatSusiewasconvincedthatMackforgottoeatfartoooften.“JustcalltheschoolbackandtellthemIhavepermissiontopickhimup,thencallNoah’sofficeandtellthemit’sokaytotreathim.I’llbringhimbyhere
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afterthat,soyoucanseeforyourselfhowhe’sdoing.”Samwassorelytemptedto
lethergo.“Idon’tknow...”Hehesitated,thinkingoftheboundariesthathadbarelybeenputintoplace.RelyingonSusie,eveninanemergencylikethisone,seemedrisky.Still,thiswebproblemneededtoberesolved.Susiegavehimalookthat
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wasalmostpleading.“Please,letmedothis,Sam.Bobbyprobablyneedsamom’stouchrightnow.”Alarmedbyherchoiceof
words,SamglancedatMack,whogaveasubtleshakeofhishead.Thatwasenoughtoconvincehimhisinstincttodothishimselfwasright.“I’vegotit,”hesaid,
standingup.“Thanksfortheoffer,Susie,buthe’sboundto
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bescared.Besides,Ineedtogettothebottomofwhatthefightwasaboutinthefirstplace.”Susielookedasifshewas
abouttoprotest,butMackreachedforherhandandgaveherapointedlook.“Go,”Macktoldhim.“I’llbebackassoonasI
can,”Sampromised.“HereareacoupleofthingsyoumighttrywhileI’mgone.I
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thinkweweregettingclosetofixingtheproblem.”“Don’tworryaboutit.
FocusonwhatBobbyneeds,”Macksaid.Samhadahunchthiswas
yetanotherofthosetestsofparenthood,andforjustaminutethere,he’dalmostfailedit.
***
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MacksteeledhimselfforafightwithhiswifeasSamleftthenewspaperoffice.“Whydidyoudothat?”
Susieimmediatelydemanded.“IcouldhavetakenBobbytothedoctor.”“Ofcourseyoucould
have,”Mackagreedreasonably.“Butitwasn’tyourplace.”“Afriendcan’tstepinto
help?”
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Macksighed.“Sweetheart,ifIthoughtitwasnothingmorethanafriendlygesture,I’dhavegonealongwithit,butitwasmorethanthatandwebothknowit.SodoesSam.”Susiescowledathim.
“Suchas?”“Yousaidityourself.You
thoughtBobbyneededamother’stouch.You’renothismother.”
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“Iknowthat.”Mackheldhergazeand
thistimeheknewhecouldnolongerdancearoundtheissueinanattempttoprotecthiswife’sfeelings.“Doyoureally?I’veseenhowyouarewithBobby.I’veseenthelonginginyoureyes.Ihavetowondersometimesifyou’renothopingSamwilldecidebeingadadistoomuchtrouble,sowecanstep
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in.”“That’saterriblethingto
say!”shesaid,butshewastremblingandthesadlookinhereyestoldtherealstory.“Canyoudenyit?”Mack
askedgently.Hesawhowmuchshe
wantedto,butSusieneverhadbeenverygoodatlying,eventoherself.“Okay,no,Ican’tdenyit,”
sheconcededwearily.“On
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someawful,selfishlevel,Ithinkthatchilddeservestwoparentswhowouldloveandnourishhimthewaywecould.”“Sam’sdoinghisbest.And
todayisachanceforhimtotakeonemorestepalongthedifficultlearningcurveofbeingaparent.Youmighthavebeenabletohandlethesituation,butintheend,SamhastofilltheroleofBobby’s
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dadandweneedtogivehimthatchance.”TearsspilleddownSusie’s
cheeks.“You’reright.Iknowyouare.”Mackstoodupandclosed
thedoortohisoffice,thenpulledhiswifeontohislap.“Suze,Iknowhowbadlyyouwantachild,”hesaid,holdinghertightandbrushingthetearsfromhercheeks.“Iwantthatforyou,
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forus.Anditwillhappenwhenthetimeisright.IfIcouldmakeithappentoday,Iwould.”“Iknow,”shewhispered,
restingherheadonhisshoulder.“I’msorryIgetsocrazy.AndI’msorryIkeepdoingthingsthatnecessitatemyapologizingtoyou,toCarrie,topracticallyeveryoneinmyfamily.SometimesIthinkthisisthe
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onlythinginmyentirelifethatmatters,eventhoughwhenI’mrationalIrecognizethatIhavesomuchtobethankfulfor.”ShegazedintoSam’seyeswithregret.“I’msorryifImakeyoufeelasifyoudon’tmatterenough.”“Comeon,sweetheart,”
Mackchided.“It’snotaboutme.Iknowthat.”Shesighedheavily.“Ihope
so,becauseIdoloveyou
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morethananything.”“Andwearegoingtoget
throughthis,”hesaid,prayingitwasapromisehecouldkeep.
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19
SamfoundBobbyinthenurse’soffice,holdingabandagetohislip,abruisealreadyformingunderhiseye.“Hey,buddy,”Samsaid,
sittingdownnexttohim.“You’vegotquiteashiner
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comingon.How’dthathappen?”Thesix-year-oldregarded
himwithstoicsilence.Thenursegavehimashrugsuggestingthatsheknewnomorethanhedidaboutwhateverhadcausedthefight.“Let’sgetovertothe
doctor’sofficeandlethimtakealookatyourlip,”Samsuggested.“That’sapretty
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badcut.”FearsparkedinBobby’s
eyes.“Willhehavetouseaneedle?”“Hemight,”Samtoldhim
honestly.Bobbycrossedhisarms
overhischest.“No!”“Buddy,wehavetoletthe
doctordecideanddowhateverhethinksisbest.”“No!”Bobbyrepeated.Samcastahelplesslookat
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thenurse.ShesatdownonBobby’sotherside.“Youknowhe’llgiveyou
somethingsoitwon’thurt,”shetoldhimgently.“Andtherumoristhathehaslollipopsforhisbravestpatients.”“Gram’paMickhascandy,
too,”Bobbysaid,asifthedoctor’sofferingweren’tallthatspecial.“ButGrandpaMickcan’t
fixupyourcut,”Sam
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remindedhim.Bobbyseemedtobe
consideringthetruthofthat.“I’llgoifCarriecomes,too,”hesaidfinally,startlingSam.“Ithinkthisissomething
youandIcanhandle,”Samtoldhim,determinedtoholdhisground.Hewasn’tsurewhyhewassoinsistent,butitseemedimportanttoprove,ifonlytohimself,thathecouldcareforBobbyonhisown.
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Bobby’sexpressionturnedevendarker.“No!IwantCarrie.”Asbadlyashewantedto
stayfirm,Samconcludedthiswasn’tthetimeorplaceforanargument.“I’llcallCarriewhenwegetinthecarandaskhertomeetusthere,”heconceded.“Ifshe’sfreeandcloseby,she’llbetherewhenwegetthere.How’sthat?”“Iguessthat’sokay,”
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Bobbyrelented.AfewminuteslaterCarrie
metthematthedoctor’soffice,whichwasinthesameblockashernewbusiness.ShegaveBobbyareassuringhug,thenglancedcuriouslyatSamasBobbydriftedofftowardaselectionoftoysinthewaitingroom.“Whenyoucalled,it
almostsoundedasifyouweren’tsureI’dcome,”she
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saidquietly.“Youhavealotgoingon
rightnow.Iwasn’tevensureifyou’dbeintown.Ididn’twanttodragyouallthewaybackfromJulie’s.”“NothingIhavetodois
moreimportantthanthis,”shesaid,regardinghimcuriously.AfterglancingdowntomakesurethatBobby’sattentionwasfocusedonsomeLEGOsin
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thewaiting-roomplayarea,shesaid,“Didn’tyouwantmehere?Ifthat’sit,whydidyoubothercalling?”Samsighed.“It’sjustthatI
relyonyoualot,mostrecentlylastnight,tobailmeoutofyetanothertightspot.”“Theimpromptubirthday
party?”shesaidincredulously.“Thatwasfun.Itwasn’tanimposition.Sam,IknowyouandIhavea
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wholelotofthingsweneedtofigureout.”“Oneofthethingswe
agreedtowasthatwedidn’twanttoconfuseBobbywhilewewerefiguringouttherest,”heremindedher.“True,butIthoughtwe
werefriends.Friendsstepupinabind,nomatterwhatelsemightbegoingon.”Samsuddenlyfelt
ridiculousformakingtoo
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muchoutofthis.Hadhewantedtousethisincidenttoprovehewasuptothetaskoffatherhood?Nowwasn’tthetimeforhispridetokickin.Sincehedidn’twanttoadmittothat,hesaid,“ButBobbyisn’tyourresponsibility.”Carrieheldhisgazefora
verylongtime,disappointmentinhereyes.“Oneofthesedaysweneedtotalkaboutthedifference
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betweenresponsibilityandcaringenoughtobearoundforthepeoplewelove,”shesaid.“Ifyoudon’tgetthat,thenmaybeweshouldn’tevenconsideranythingmore.”BeforeSamcouldsaya
wordinhisowndefense—assumingheevenhadone—NoahMcIlroycameoutofthebacktogetBobbyandthemomentended,leavingSam
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moreshakenthanhe’dbeeninalongtime.NoteventhecallfromtheschoolhadgottentohimthesamewaythatCarrie’squietlyspokenrebukehad.
***
Bobbyisn’tyourresponsibility.TheentiretimeCarriewas
intheexaminingroom,
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BobbyclutchingherhandtightlyasNoahputtwostitchesintohislip,shewasfightingthehurtthathadspreadthroughheratSam’scomment.Howcouldtheypossiblyhavebeensocloselastnight,onlytohavehimuttersuchcarelesswordstoday?She’dthoughtthey’dbeenmakingrealprogresstowardsomethingmeaningful,andinasplit
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second,he’ddestroyedthatillusionandputherinherplace.ShewasawareofNoah
studyinghercuriously,butknewhewouldneveraskthequestionsthatweresoclearlyonhismind,suchaswhyshewasherewithBobbyorwhysheandSamcouldn’tevenlookeachotherintheeye.“Goodjob!”Noahtold
Bobbywhenhewasfinished.
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“Youwereverybrave.”“Thenurseatschoolsaid
youmighthavelollipops,”Bobbysaidhopefully.Noahchuckled.“Ido,
indeed.”Hepulledacartonwithanassortmentofflavorsfromoneofthedrawers.“Nowhere’sthedeal.Itmightbebestifyoudon’teatthisrightnow.Yourlip’sgoingtobenumbforalittlebitlongerandyoudon’twant
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todribblealloveryourself.Canyousavethistilltomorrow?”“Tomorrow?”Bobby
repeatedasifitwereaneternityuntilthen.“Butbytonight,Ithink
perhapsyoucouldhaveaPopsicle,”Noahofferedasaconsolation.“Maybeeventwo.Theicewouldfeelrealgoodonyourlip.”BobbyturnedtoSam.“Can
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wegetsome?”“I’llstopatthestore,”Sam
promised.“Icouldtakehimhome,
whileyoudothat,”Carrieoffered,thencouldn’tseemtostopherselffromadding,“UnlessI’dbeoverstepping.”Samwincedatherwords.
Noahlookedevenmoreintrigued.CarriesimplystoodthereandwaitedtoseewhatSamwouldsay.
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“Ifyouhavethetime,thatwouldbegreat,”hesaid.“I’llgiveBobbyasmall
doseofchildren’sTylenolbeforeyouleave,”Noahsaid.“He’llprobablysleepforawhilethisafternoon.Youcangivehimmorelaterifhe’sinpain,butasbraveasheis,heshouldbejustfine.BringhimbacknextweekandI’llremovethestitches.Callorstopbyifyouhaveany
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questionsorifanythingdoesn’tseemright.”“Thanks,”Samsaid,
shakinghishand.“Iappreciateyourseeingusonshortnotice.”“Hey,playgroundwar
woundsalwaysgetpriorityaroundhere,”Noahtoldhim.Carrieaddedherown
thanks.“How’stheday-carecenter
coming?”Noahaskedher.
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“AllIneedarethefinalinspectionapprovalsandwe’llbereadytoopen.Afewmoreweeksshoulddoit,”shesaid,hopingheroptimismwasn’tmisplaced.“Great.I’llhaveJackson
thereondayone.MaybeyoucangiveCaitandmeatourwhenshe’shomethisweekend.”“Absolutely,”Carrie
promised,thoughshehada
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hunchthattheyweregoingtobefarmoreinterestedinherrelationshipwithSamthantheywereintheselectionoftoysandthecolorschemeathernewenterprise.Outside,Samhandedhera
housekey.“ThanksfortakingBobbyhome.I’llbethereasquicklyaspossible,soyoucangetbacktowork.”“Sure,”shesaid,barely
resistingthedesiretostarta
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fightwithhimabouthisattitudetowardherinvolvement.He’dcalledher,blastitall.Andshewasn’tSusie,likelytomisconstruewhathisrequestmeant.“We’llseeyouatthehouse.”Inthebackseatofhercar
withhisseatbelton,Bobby’seyelidswerealreadydroopingfromtheday’sexcitement.Whenshepulledtoastopinfrontofthehouse,though,his
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eyesblinkedopen.“We’rehome,”shesaid,
walkingquicklyaroundtohelphimgetout.“Youfeelingsteadyonyourfeet?”“Uh-huh,”hesaid,then
wobbledalittle.Stillhelookedindignant
whensheofferedtocarryhim.“Icanwalk,”hesaid,thenheadedunsteadilyforthefrontdoor.Carrieopenedit,thentook
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himstraighttohisroom.Sheremovedhisshoesandhelpedhimontothebed.Hiseyeswereclosedbythetimehisheadhitthepillow.Shesatnexttohim,herheartachingasshebrushedhishairfromhisforehead.Longlashesthatgirlswouldonedayenvybrushedhischeeks.Hissweetlittlemouthwasswollenandredandtherewasalreadyabruiseunderoneeye.
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“Whatonearthwereyoufightingabout?”shemurmuredtoherselfasshewatchedtheriseandfallofhischest.ShewonderedifSamhadanyidea.Shewasstillsittingthere
whenSamgothome.Shetensedatthesoundofthefrontdoorclosing,thenmadeherselfgetupandgointothekitchenwherehewasputtingawaythePopsicles.
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Heturnedslowlywhenshecameintotheroom.“Howishe?”“Downforthecount,”she
said,notingtherawanguishinhiseyes.“Areyouokay?”Heshookhishead.“When
Igotmyfirstlookathiminthenurse’soffice,Ithinkmyheartstopped.”“Getusedtoit,”she
advised,wishingshehadtherighttoputherarmsaround
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himandoffercomfort.Lessthanadayago,shewouldhave.Nowshefeltentirelytoouncertainofherstatusaroundhere.“Littleboysarepronetocutsandscrapes.”“Andfights?Athisage?”“That’sprobablynotquite
astypical,”sheconceded,thoughshe’dmediatedseveralatJulie’sday-carecenterinvolvingboysnotmucholder.“Anyideawhat
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onearthhewasfightingabout?”“None.Thenursehadno
ideaeitherandBobbywasn’ttalking.Ishouldprobablygivetheteacheracallnowthattheimmediatecrisisisoverandseewhatshehastosay.”Hepausedandmutteredacurseunderhisbreath.“IneedtocallMack,too.”“Heknowsaboutwhat’s
goingonalready,right?”
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“Yes,butItookoffinthemiddleofawebsitecrash.Iwassupposedtocomebacktodealwithit.”“Thengo,”shesaidat
once.“Icanstayheretillyougethome.”Shesawanotherofthoseannoyinglooksthatsuggestedhedidn’twanttoinconvenienceher.“OrI’llstaytillyoucangetsomebodyelse,ifyoudon’twantmehere.”
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Guiltdarkenedhiseyes.Hescrubbedhishandoverhisface.“Carrie,IamsosorryifI’vemadeyoufeelasifyouhavenoplacehere.I’mnotevensurewhyIletmyselfgetsocrazytoday.MaybeitwasbecauseSusiewastryingtotakeoverandIgotdefensiveaboutthat.ThenBobbywantedyouwithhim,notme,andIhaterelyingonyou,onanyone,rightnow.Ineedto
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knowIcanhandlethisstuffonmyown,butthetruthisthatIcan’t.WhenIarrivedatthenurse’sofficeatschoolandsawthatblackeyeandsplitlip,Ifeltcompletelyhelpless.IwantedtoburstintotearsmyselfandcurseLaurelforputtingmeintothisposition.”Carriefeltthestartofher
tensioneasing.“Welcometoparenthood!Doyouthink
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there’saparentonearthwhohasn’tfeltthatwaythefirsttimehisorherbabygetsacutorbruisethattheycouldn’tprevent?TheonlyadultIknowwhoseemstohandlethatwithcompleteaplombisGram.Nellhasseenmorethanhershareofinjuriesandcometoacceptthatthevastmajorityaremessy,butnotlife-threatening.She’sreallytheoneyouwantaroundina
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crisis.Therestofusjustdothebestwecan.”ThecornersofSam’s
mouthlifted.“AreyousuggestingyouwereasscaredasIwas?”“Notsomuchscaredas
wantingtocrybecauseBobbywasinpain.”“Butyoudidn’t.”“Neitherdidyou,”she
remindedhim.“Youdideverythingjustright,Sam.
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YouevencalledmewhenBobbyaskedforme,ratherthanmakinghimtoughitout.”Sheriskedtakingastep
closerandthistimeshedidputherhandonhischeek.“Youdidjustfine,Sam.”“Ihavetowonderifevery
dayisgoingtobringsomenewchallengethat’sgoingtomakemefeelcompletelyinept.”
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“Morethanlikely,”shesaidcandidly.“Butthinkaboutlastnight.WhenBobbywassadandlost,youpulledtogetherexactlytherightsortofcelebrationofhisdad.Youmadeeverythingokayagain.”Samsighed.“Hismomand
dadaregone.Nothingwilleverbeokayagain.”“Itwon’tbethesame
again,”shecorrected.“Butitwillbeokay,becausehehas
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you.”Shehesitated,thenadded,“Andme,ifyouwantmearound.”Hereachedforherthen
andpulledherintohisarms.Carrieacceptedtheembraceandtheapologythatwasinhisactions,ifnotexactlyinhiswords.“Iwantyouaround,”he
said.“MorethanIprobablyshould.You’regoingtogetsickofbeingmygo-to
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person.”Carrietouchedafingerto
hislips.“Kissme.”Samlookedstartled,but
thenhebenthisheadandclaimedherlips.Likeadrowningman,heclungtoherandkissedheruntiltheywerebothbreathinghard.Whenhefinallypulled
away,Carriecaughtherbreath,thensmiled.“Therearesomedefiniteperksthat
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gowithbeingthego-topersoninyourlife.”“It’snotnearlyenough
comparedtowhatIoweyou.”“Letmebethejudgeof
that.Nowgobacktowork.I’llbeherewhenyoucomehome.Ifwe’relucky,Bobbywillbesleepingsoundly.”Agrintuggedathislips.
“Whatonearthwillwedo,then?”
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“Ihaveafewideas.We’lldiscussthemwhenyougethome.”Sheshrugged.“Ornot.MaybeI’lljustshowyou.”ShelaughedasSampulled
outhiscellphoneandhitspeeddial.“Whatareyoudoing?”sheasked.“CallingMack.Ifthere’sa
Godinheaven,hewillhavesolvedthatwebsiteproblemwithoutme.”
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“Butyouwon’tbereallyhappyuntilyouseeforyourselfthatit’sbeenhandledproperly.Go.”Hehesitated,thenasked,
“We’reokay,evenaftermyslightlapseintoidiocy?”“We’reokay,”sheassured
him.Heclaimedherlipsone
moretime,thenheadedforthedoor.“Hurryhome,”shecalled
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afterhim.“Ilikehowthatsounds,”
hesaid,thenclosedthedoorbehindhim.Carrielikedit,too,
probablyalittletoomuch,givenhowproneSamwastopanickingoverwherethingswereheadedbetweenthem.
***
Unfortunatelythetechissue
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atthepaperhadn’tbeenresolved.IttookSamandMackhoursoffrustratingworkandwaytoomanycallstotheirserviceprovidertogeteverythingbackonlineandfunctioningproperly.“DoyouthinkKristin
Lewisdeliberatelyleftsomesortofbugintherejusttoyankyourchain?”Samasked,referringtothewomanwho’dinitiallydesignedthe
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websiteandgottenitupandrunning.HeknewsheandMackhadaromantichistoryshe’dhopedtorecapturewhenshe’dcometotown.Ithadbeenamessysituation,complicatedwhenasubsequentrelationshipwithLukeO’Brienhadfallenapart,aswell.Macklookedstartledby
thesuggestion.“Ican’timaginethat.Ithought
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KristinandIwereondecenttermsbythetimesheleft.”“Shewasstillthewoman
scorned,”Samremindedhim.“Well,itdoesn’tmatter,”
Macksaid.“Kristingotabetterjobclearacrossthecountry,andwe’vesolvedtheproblemonceandforall.”HeslappedSam’shandinacelebratoryhighfive.“Wethinkwe’vesolved
theproblem,”Samcorrected.
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“IthoughtIhaditfixedlastweek,remember?Ifitcropsupagain,I’mseriousaboutlookingintosabotage.IfKristinisthewebgeniuseveryonesaysshewas,shecouldbehackinginfromanywhere.”“Iamnotgoingthere,”
Macksaid.“Infact,theonlythingI’mgoingtodorightnowisgohomeandspendwhat’sleftoftheevening
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withmywife.Ihonestlythinkwemayhaveturnedacornerearliertoday.”HegaveSamawearylook.“OfcourseI’vethoughtthatbefore.”“DidsheunderstandwhyI
hadtopickBobbyupmyself?”“Eventually,”Macksaid.
“ButIdon’tthinkI’llmentionthatCarriegotinvolved.Itmightsetheroffagain.EverytimeIthink
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thosetwohavemendedfences,anotherincidentcropsup.”“Carrieisgoingtobe
involvedwithBobbyandme,”Samsaidflatly.“Susieneedstoacceptthat.”“Thenit’sgottenserious?”
Mackasked.“It’sdefinitelymovingin
thatdirection,”Samsaid.“I’mscaredtodeathaboutthat.Thingsinmylifeare
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changingwaytoofastforme.NotthatlongagoIwastheguywhowasalwaysreadytomoveonorgoonsomedangerousadventureatthedropofahat.Now,hereIam,adadandputtingdownrootsandthinkingaboutaddingawomantothemixforthelonghaul.Afewmonthsago,Iwouldn’thavebetfiftycentsonanyofthateverhappening.”
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Macklaughed.“Wasthatpanicthatjustwashedacrossyourface?”Samnodded.“Morethan
likely.”Hepaused,thoughtaboutit,thenadded,“Youknowwhat,though?It’snotquiteasterrifyingasIexpectedittobe,becauseit’sBobbyandit’sCarrie.DoyouknowwhatImean?”“Believeme—Iknow
exactlywhatyoumean.Iwas
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theultimateplayer,”Mackadmitted,hisexpressionnostalgic.“Ihadnointentionofeverallowingarelationshiptogetserious.Susiewiselyvowedshe’dneverevengooutwithaguywhotossedwomenawaythewayIdid.”Macklaughed.“Andthen
lightningstruckandIrealizedSusiewastheone.ForthefirsttimeinmylifeIknew
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exactlywhatIwantedandwhoIwantedtobewith.”Helaughed.“Tomyeverlastingregret,ittookalotlongertoconvincehertotakeachancethatI’dmendedmyways.”“Noregrets?”“Notforme,”Macksaid
withouthesitation.“Notaone,evennowwhenthingsarerocky.IknowwebelongtogetherandIbelievewewillhaveachild.SusieandIare
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inthistogetherfortherestofourlives.”Listeningtothedeeply
heldconvictionbehindMack’swords,Samnodded.HewantedtobelievethatstronglyinwhathehadwithCarrie.Hewasmorethanhalfwaythere.Hethoughtshemightbe,too.Hewasn’tsurewhatitwouldtaketogettherestofthewayorifeitherofthemwereuptothe
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challenge,but,ifdeterminationtotakethatfinalleapcountedforanything,they’dgetthere.
***
BobbyhadgrapePopsicledribblingdownhischinandalloverhishandsandshirt.Carriehadgivenuptryingtokeepupwiththedripsandfiguredthisshirt,liketheone
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he’dwornearlier,wouldeithercomecleaninthewashormakeanexcellentdustcloth.Theyweresittingonthe
backdecktosavethekitchenfloorfromtheinevitablestickiness,whenSamfoundthem.“Hey,buddy!Howareyou
feeling?”“Better,”Bobbyreported.
“I’mhavingPopsiclesfor
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dinner.”“Excellent.”Hisgaze
soughtoutCarrie’sandheld.“Everythingokayaroundhere?”“We’redoingfine,ifyou
don’tcountthefactthatthisisthesecondshirtwe’veprobablylosttoPopsiclestains.”Samshrugged.“They’reT-
shirts.They’reexpendable.”“Mysentimentexactly.”
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Sam’sexpressionsobered.HeliftedBobbyupandsathimonhislap.Inatoneheobviouslymeanttobecasual,hesaid,“So,pal,maybeyoushouldfillusinonwhatactuallyhappenedatschooltoday.”“Iwasinafight,”Bobby
said,asifitwereofnoconsequence.“Iknowthatmuch,”Sam
said,histonestilllight.“You
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havetheblackeyeandsplitliptoproveit.Butsincefightingisn’tontheapprovedlistofschoolactivitiesandyou’reawareofthat,maybeyoucouldtellmewhohityouandwhy?Didsomeoneelsestartit?”Bobby’sexpressionshut
downandhedroppedtheremainderofhisicytreatontheground.“Idon’twanttotalkaboutit.”Hestruggledto
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breakfree.“Iwanttogotobed.”“Notanoption,”Samsaid.
“Whathappened?”WhenBobbytriedonce
moretosquirmoffhislap,Samheldhiminplace.“Bobby,it’sokaytotell
us,”Carriesaidgently.“It’snottattling.”“Idon’tcareabout
tattling,”Bobbysaidangrily.“WhatPatsysaidwasalie,so
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Ishovedher.”ShockspreadacrossSam’s
face.“Youshovedagirl?”“Don’tfeelsorryforher,”
Bobbysaidmutinously.“Becausethenshehitmeintheeyeandbustedmylip.”Hischeekscoloredpinkwithobviousembarrassment.“Thefightwaswitha
girl?”Samrepeated,asifhecouldn’tquitegrasptherealityofthat.
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“She’smean,”Bobbydeclared.“Andshetoldabigoldlie.”“Whatwasthelie?”Carrie
asked,understandingthatwasattheheartofthefight.“Shesaidmymomanddad
wentawayandleftmeonpurposebecauseIwasadumb,stupidboy.”Carriegaspedatthecruelty
ofthat.Morethanlikelyasix-year-oldhadn’t
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understoodthedepthofpainsuchacommentwouldcause,butitwasshockingjustthesame.NowonderBobbyhadreactedthewayhehad.“Youknowyourmomand
daddidn’twanttoleaveyou,”Samsaid,clearlyshaken.“Theylovedyoumorethananything.”“Iknow,”Bobbysaid
impatiently.“That’swhyitwasalie.”
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Samcastawhat-nowlookinCarrie’sdirection.“Bobby,youstilldon’t
shovesomeonejustbecausetheysaymeanthingsthathurtyou,”Carriesaid,eventhoughshewouldn’tmindgivingthegirl’smotheragoodhardshove.ClearlylittlePatsyhadheardsomecommentathomethatencouragedsuchtalk.“Ihadtodosomething,”
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Bobbysaidinfrustration.Carrierecognizedthe
childishsenseofimpotencebehindtheragehemusthavefelt.“Iknow,sweetheart.Youshouldhavewalkedawayandtoldtheteacher.Wouldn’tthathavebeenbetterthanshovingPatsyandhavingherpunchyou?Ifyou’ddonethat,youwouldn’thaveneededstitches.”“Itwasworthit,”Bobby
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saidstubbornly.“BecauseIgotstitches,you’rehereandIgotPopsiclesfordinner.”CarriesawthatSamwas
strugglingtofightasmile.EventuallyhewasabletofaceBobbywithasoberexpression.“Andbecauseyouwere
fightingwhenyouknewbetter,younowgettogotoyourroomandthinkabouthowwrongitistohit
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someoneelseortoshovethem,”hesaidsternly.“It’snotthewaywesolveproblems.”Hepointedtowardthehouse.“Go.”Bobbyclimbeddownand
headedinside,thoughhedidn’tlooktheleastbitrepentant.Justinsidethedoor,heturnedback.“Ifyou’dbeenthere,I’llbetyou’dhaveshovedher,too.”Whenhewasoutof
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earshot,SammetCarrie’sgaze.“Isurewouldhavewantedto,”headmitted.“You’renotalonethere,”
Carrietoldhim.“YouprobablyshouldhaveaconversationwithlittleMissPatsy’smotherorfather.”Samlookedasifhe’d
rathereatdirt.“DoIhaveto?”Carrielaughed.“Scared
she’sgoingtosplityourlip,
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too?”“Nope.”“Oh?”“I’mnot100percentsureI
won’tthrowthefirstpunch.”“Ihavefaithinyou,”
Carrieassuredhim.“Notonlydoesfightingnotresolveanything,whichyouperfectlywellknow,buthittingagirlisneveracceptable,somethingyoualsoknow.”Hegaveheralonglook.
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“ThatchildtoldBobbythathismomanddadlefthimonpurpose.AmIsupposedtoforgetaboutthat?”Carriefeltherownanger
stiragainathisreminderofthehurtfulexchangethathadstartedallthis.“MaybeIshouldcomealong,”shesuggested.“Nottokeepyouincheck,butsothatIcanthrowapunch.There’snotasoulinthistownwho
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wouldn’tbackmeup.”Sammovedtositbeside
heranddrapedanarmoverhershoulders.“AndthatiswhyIknowyouandIbelongtogether.We’reofonemind.”Hegaveherasidewaysglance.“Andmaybewe’remeanttokeepeachother’stempersincheck.”“Toobad.Idohavered
hairandthoseIrishgenes,youknow,andIhaven’tbeen
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inagoodbrawlinyears,”shesaid,thenrestedherheadonhisshoulder.Sittingjustlikethat,with
thememoryofthepreviousnight’sglorioussunsetandpoignantbirthdaycelebrationstillverymuchonhermind,shefeltcontentmentstealoverher.SheglancedatSamandsawthatthetensioninhisjawhadeased,aswell.This,shethought,was
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whatrealcouplesdid.Theyfacedproblemstogether,workedthroughthem,andtheirfamilieswerestrongerbecauseofit.TheonlyissuessheandMarceverresolvedtogetherwereworkrelated.Anytimeshe’dtriedtobringuphisneglectoranythingelsepersonal,he’dtunedherout.Sheshouldhaverecognizedtheyweremissingoutonakeyaspectofany
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goodrelationship.Shehadherowncrazy
familywithallofitsupsanddownstolooktoasprimeexamplesofthewayitshouldbedone.Noteverydaywassunshineandroses.Thosehurdles,facedtogether,werethestrengthbehindeveryO’Brienfamily.
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20
SamrequestedameetingwithBobby’steacher,AmyPennington,andPatsy’smother,AllisonRogers.Thethreeofthemmetinthefirst-gradeclassroomafterschoolthedayafterthefightthathadsentBobbytoNoah’soffice.
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AllisonRogersappearedtobeaniceenoughwoman,alittleharriedandabitindignantaboutbeingdraggedawayfromworkinthemiddleoftheafternoon,butotherwisereasonablypleasant.Sheseemedgenuinelymystifiedaboutwhyshewasthere.Bobby’steacher,whodid,
indeed,lookalittlelikeMrs.Clauswithherwhitehairand
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framelessglasses,tookchargeofthemeeting.“Allison,I’mnotsureif
you’reawarethatwehadaproblemontheplaygroundyesterday.Ididleaveyouamessage,butsinceyoudidn’tcallback,Ican’tbesureifyougotit,”Mrs.Penningtonsaid.“Lastnightwasinsane.I
nevercheckedformessages,”Mrs.Rogersadmitted.“Was
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itanythingserious?Ifso,theofficehasmycellnumber.”“Itriedthat,aswell.”The
teacherwavedofftheissue.“Itdoesn’tmatternow,sinceyouobviouslyreceivedtherequesttobeherethisafternoon.”“Theprincipalcalledme
thismorningatworkandmadeitseemlikeamatteroflifeordeath,”shesaid.“Icertainlyhopeit’satleastthat
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important.MybosshatesitwhenIleaveearlyandIneedthisjob.”“Thenlet’saddressthis
quickly,”Mrs.Penningtonsuggestedbriskly.“YesterdayPatsywasinvolvedinafightwithSam’snephew,Bobby.Shesaidsomethingquitecruelandhe,naturally,tookoffense.Hegaveherashove,andthenshesplithislipandgavehimablackeye.”
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“That’swhathegetsforshovingher,”Allisonsaiddefensively,frowningatSam.“Surelyheknowsbetter.”Samhadlefttheentire
conversationuptotheteacheruntilnow,buthecouldn’tletthatpass.“Howwouldyoureactifyouwereascaredsix-year-oldlivingwithanuncleyoubarelyknowinanewtown,attendinganewschoolandsomeonetoldyouthat
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yourrecentlydeceasedparentshaddeliberatelyleftyoubecauseyouwereano-good,stupidboy?”Tohercredit,Mrs.Rogers
lookedshocked.“That’swhatPatsysaid?”“I’mafraidso,”theteacher
confirmed.“Ioverheardhermyself,butbeforeIcouldintervene,BobbyhadlashedoutandPatsyhadhithimhardenoughthatherequired
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stitches.”Patsy’smomregardedSam
withwhatappearedtobegenuineregret.“Iamsosorry.Ihatetoadmitit,butIthinkIhavesomeideawherethisiscomingfrom.Patsy’sfatherrecentlyleftus.OneofhispartingshotswasthathewasgoingbecauseIwasafailureatdisciplineandthekids—Ihaveason,too—areout-of-controlbrats.Naturally
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thatwasshoutedatthetopofhislungsfromthefrontlawn.Patsyandherbrotherheardeveryword.”Ofcoursewiththatpiece
ofinformationaddedin,thewholeincidentmadeperfectsensetoSam.InPatsy’shead,ifaparentwentaway,ithadtobeonpurposeandithadtobebecausethechildrenwerenogood.She’dbeentakingherownpainoutonBobby.
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“I’msorry,”Samsaid.“Hey,hewasn’tavery
nicemanandwewereaterriblecouple,”shesaidbitterly.“Ithinkwe’dforgottenwhywe’dfalleninlovebythetimetheceremonywasover,butwehunginthereuntilPatsyturnedfive.Herbrother’sfour.MydelightfulhusbandfiguredbythenTeddywouldbeoldenoughforpreschool
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andPatsywouldbegoingintofirstgrade,soIcouldgobacktoworktosupportthem.”“I’msorry,”Samsaid
again,realizingitwaspossibleforchildrentosufferlossesalmostasemotionallydevastatingaslosingtwoparentsinanaccident.“Ithinkwecanseevery
clearlythattherearetwosidestoeverystory,”the
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teachersaid.“Thatdoesn’texcusethebehavior,butatleastitgivesussomecontext.Mr.Winslow,doyouagree?”“Absolutely,”Samsaid.“I’lltalktoPatsy,”Mrs.
Rogerspromised.“I’llmakesuresheapologizestoBobby.I’llbringhertoschoolmyselfinthemorningandstandtheretoseethatshedoesit.”“DittowithBobbyforhis
partinthefight,”Samsaid.
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“I’llbeherebeforeschool,aswell.”Theteacherbeamedat
them.“Iknewwecouldworkthisout.I’llseeeachofyoubeforeclassstartstomorrowmorning.”SamwalkedPatsy’s
motherbacktotheparkinglot.“Ireallyamsorryyou’regoingthroughsuchatoughtime.”Sheshrugged.“Nomore
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thanIdeservefornotlisteningtoasinglesoulwhotriedtotellmemyhusband-to-bewasajerk.”Shemanagedasmile,thoughitseemedabitforced.“I’mgettingbettereveryday.I’vealmostconcludedthatI’mnottheterriblepersonhesaidIwas,either.”SheregardedSamwithachagrinedexpression.“Godhelpher,isitanywonderPatsycan’tget
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pasthispartingshot?Icertainlyhaven’tandI’msupposedtobethematuregrown-up.”“Butyouwill,”Samsaid
withconfidence.“Isawyourfightingspiritreturningbackinthatclassroom.”Sheseemedsurprisedby
hisassessment.“Youknow,itis.Thanksfornoticing.I’llseeyouinthemorning.AndItrulyregretthatPatsysaid
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somethingthatcrueltoBobby,tosaynothingofthesplitlip.I’dbehappytocoverthemedicalbill.”Thelastwasobviouslyaddedonimpulse,onesheclearlyregrettedthemomentshe’dspoken.Recognizingthatfinancial
difficultieswereweighingonher,Samletheroffthehook.“Notnecessary.Myinsurancehasitcovered.”
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“Ifyoueverhavetimeforacupofcoffee,”shebeganhesitantly.Samcutheroffbeforeshe
couldcompletetheinvitation.“Thanks,butI’mseeingsomeone.”Sheflushed.“You’re
singleandgood-looking.Ofcourseyouare.Iwasjustthinkingthatoursituationsmightgiveusalotincommon.SometimesI’m
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afraidI’llgocrazyifIdon’thaveanotheradultaroundwhogetsit.”Beforehecouldthinkof
whattosaytosmoothovertheuncomfortablemoment,shehurriedaway,clearlyembarrassed.“Well,thatwassomething
new,”hemurmuredasheheadedforhiscar.Herealizedhe’drecentlyjoinedtheapparentlydesirable
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groupofavailablesingledads.Sure,he’dbeenhitonbyplentyofwomen,butthiswasthefirsttimetheattractionhadbeenbasedonthesharedcomplexitiesofsingleparenthood.
***
Carrieagreedtomeethertwin,NoahandJacksonforatourofhernewday-care
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centeronSundaymorningbeforetheyallheadedtoGrandpaMick’sfordinner.Asproudasshewasofthefacilityandaseagerasshewastoshowitoff,shewasanticipatingalivelycross-examinationfromCaitlynasthemainagendafortheget-together.Sureenough,assoonas
NoahwheeledJackson’sstrollerintothemainactivity
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room,CaitpulledCarrieintothekitchen,wheretheyhadalittleprivacy.“Whatdoyouthinkofthe
place?”Carrieaskedcheerfully,hopingtoforestalltheinterrogation.“It’slovely.You’llbea
hugesuccess.Yada-yada.I’msureyou’veheardallthatfromeverymemberofourfamily.Nowtellmewhat’sgoingonwithyouandSam.I
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thoughtIwarnedyoutostayawayfromhim.”“It’snotthefirsttimeI’ve
ignoredyouradvice,”Carrieremindedher.“Yes,Ibelievethelast
timewaswhenItoldyounottogetinvolvedwithyourboss,”Caitlynremindedher.“GivenhowthingsworkedoutwithMarcReynolds,I’dthinkmycredibilitywouldbeprettygoodrightnow.”
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“Thisisnothinglikethat,”Carrieinsisted.“AtleastSamseemstobe
moresubstancethanflash—I’llgiveyouthat,”hersistersaid.“EveryoneI’vespokentoreallylikeshim.”“SotheO’Brienhotlineis
workingwell,”Carriecommenteddryly.“Goodtoknow.What’sthemethodofchoice?Stilltexting?”“Mostly,”Caitadmitted.
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“AtleastfromGrandpaMick.Ourauntsprefertotalkonthephone.And,ofcourse,NoahandIareonSkypealmostdailysoIcanseehowJacksonisgrowing.”“How’sthelong-distance
thingworkingforyou?”Carrieasked,seizingonaparticularlydelicatedebatebetweenhusbandandwifeandtherestofthefamily.CaitandNoahusually
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claimeditwasworkingjustfine.Nooneelsecouldquitebelieveit.Caitsighedheavily.“Ihate
beingseparatedfromthem,okay?Iadmitit.Butthisisthewayithastobe.I’mjustinBaltimoreuntilIfinishmyinternshipandresidency.ThenNoahandIwillbetogether.Icanbehereinacoupleofhours,tops,ifanythingcomesup.Noah
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comesupwheneverI’moffonaweekendorIcomedownhere.It’sstressfulattimes,butwe’remakingitwork.”“Thenwhyareyouwasting
evenonesecondofthattimeinherelecturingme,whenyoucouldbealonewithyourhusband?”Carriedemanded.“I’llevenkeepJacksonforthenextcoupleofhoursandbringhimwithmetoGrandpaMick’s.”
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“Atemptingoffer,tobesure,”Caitsaid,herregretplain.“ButI’monamissiontofigureoutwhetherornotyou’reabouttoruinyourlife.NoahsaidthingswereawfullytensebetweenyouandSamwhenhebroughtBobbyintheotherday.HegotthefeelingSamdidn’treallywantyouthere.”Carriegaveuptryingto
avoidthewholediscussion.
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“Hehadhisreasons.We’veworkeditout.Likeyousaid,that’swhatadultsinacommittedrelationshipdo,right?Theyworkthroughthings.Noteverydayisafestivalofloveandlaughter.”Caitlaughed.“Iwish.
Okay,sothingsarefinewithSam.Howfine?Anytalkofafuture?”“Notbeyondwhetherhe
andBobbywillbeatGrandpa
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Mick’stoday.I’mthinkingIshouldwarnhimtostayhome.”“Don’tyoudare.Iwantto
seehimformyselfandseeyouwithhim.”“We’renotthat
interesting.”Caitputanarmaroundher
shoulders.“Hey,you’remybabysister—”“Bytwominutes,”Carrie
remindedher.
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“Itstillcounts.Ihavetolookoutforyourbestinterests.”“Don’tyouthinkIget
enoughofthatfromtheO’Briensrighthereonthescene?”Carrieaskedwearily.“Mom,TraceandGrandpaMickhavemademetheirpetprojectlately.”“ButIhavespecial
insight,”Caitclaimed,thenlinkedanarmthrough
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Carrie’s.“Nowshowmearoundinhere.Istillcan’tbelieveyou’reopeningaday-carecenter.”“Believeit.Ifthereareno
morelast-minuteglitches,thedoorsopenafterThanksgiving.Theinspectorsfoundahalfdozennitstopickontheirlastvisit.”Shesighed.“Oh,well,itwastobeexpectedtheytellme.MyonlyrealregretisthatIstill
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haven’tfoundtheperfectassistantmanager.I’vehiredacoupleofgreatpeoplewithexperiencewithkidsandgoodeducationalrequirements,butI’dreallylikesomeonewithasolidbackgroundataday-carecenter.”“Areyouexcited?”“Excited,terrified,allof
that,”Carrieadmitted.“Whatifthekidsaremiserableand
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theparentsyankthemout?MaybeIshouldhavestucktobabysittingO’BrienbabiesonWillowBrookRoad.”“Stopthat!Thechildren
willbesafeandblissfullyhappy.You’renotgoingtofail,”Caitsaidwithtotalconfidence.“AndnotjustbecauseO’Briensdon’tfail,butbecauseyou’reyouandevenIcanseethatthisistheperfectfitforyou.Momwas
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right.Weallshouldhaveseenitmuchsooner.”“Andsavedmethedisaster
thatwasmylifeinParis?”“Somethinglikethat,”Cait
said.Inanexampleofperfect
timing,ormoreprecisely,perfectlyterribletiming,Carrie’scellphonechirpedoutitsalertforanincomingtext.Sheignoredit.“You’renotgoingtocheck
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that?”Caitasked,herexpressioncurious.“I’mbusywithyou.
Whateveritiscanwait.”“Andyouknowthathow?”
Caitaskedsuspiciously.“Doyouknowwho’stexting,Carrie?”“Ihavesomeidea.”Beforeshecouldreactto
preventit,hertwingrabbedthecell.Hereyeswidenedindismay.“Marc?You’rein
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touchwithMarc?”“Iamnotintouchwith
Marc,”Carriereplieddefensively.“He’sbeentexting.”Shehesitated,thenadded,“Andcalling.I’vebeenignoringhim.UsuallyIjustshutoffmyphone,soIdon’thavetobebotheredlookingatthetexts.I’vedeletedthevoicemailswithoutlisteningtothem.”“Goodforyou,”Caitsaid.
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ShestudiedCarriealittletoointently.“You’renotevenalittlecuriousaboutwhathewants?”“Notenoughtoopenthat
dooragain,”Carriesaidfirmly.“MylifeisfallingintoplacejustthewayIwantit,too.Marcisnotapartofit.”“Okay,then.Iwon’tfreak
outoverhimtryingtocontactyou.Now,showmejusthowfabulousthisplaceisgoingto
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be.”Forthenexthalfhour,
Carrieshowedhersistereverynookandcrannyofthecenter,watchingherfaceclosely.That,ratherthanherwords,wouldtelltherealstoryaboutwhatshethoughtofCarrie’sseeminglyimpulsivecareerchoice.“Noah,isn’titfantastic?”
Caitsaidatlast,whirlingaroundinapoolofsunlight
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inthemiddleofthemainroom.“It’ssuchahappyplace.”Noahchuckled.“Iimagine
youcanhearthelaughteralready.”“Well,Ican,”Caitsaid.
“Jackson’sgoingtoloveithere.And,Carrie,you’regoingtobeahugesuccess!”“Iagree,”Noahsaid.“I
checkedoutallofyourfirst-aidsuppliesandcan’tthinkof
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athingyoumissed.”“Thanksfordoingthat,”
Carriesaid.“Thoughit’sabigcomfortknowingyourofficeisrightupthestreet.”“IwishIcouldstayan
extracoupleofdaystothrowabigopen-housepartyforyoutospreadtheword,”Caitsaid.“Iappreciatethethought,
butIdon’tneedaparty.Ijustwanttogetthedoorsopen
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andgettowork,”Carriesaid.“Buttheentireregion
needstoknowaboutthisplace,”Caitargued.“YouwereinmarketingandPR.Youknowthat.”“Ialreadyhaveawaiting
listforplaces,”Carrietoldher.“It’skillingmetoturnpeopledown.ThelastthingIneedisevenmorepeoplewantingtogetonthatlist.”“Isupposeyouhavea
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point,”Caitconceded.“There’snoreasontocreateademandyoualreadyknowyoucan’tmeet.Whataboutafamilyparty?”Carrielaughed.“Areyou
kiddingme?Yousaidityourselfjustaminuteago.Idon’tthinkthere’sasinglepersoninourfamilywhohasn’twanderedinandoutofhereonanalmost-dailybasis.Everybodywantstobethe
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firsttoseehowit’scomingalong.GrandpaMickisbaskinginthegloryofbeingbothconstructionforemanandtourguide.Hemaynotentirelyagreewithmyplans,buthetakesgreatprideinhisworkmanship.”“Ofcoursehedoes,”Cait
said.“Thenjustletmeaddmystampofapproval.”Carriegavehersistera
fiercehug.“Thatmeansalot.
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Youknowthat,don’tyou?”“Thesamewayitmeans
theworldtomethatwhenmysonisn’twithNoahorme,he’sinyourhands,”Caitsaid.“Loveyou.”“Rightbackatyou.”Somethingdeepinside
Carrieeasedaftertheexchange.Thoughshewouldneverhaveadmitteditaloud,hersister’sapproval—thewholefamily’sforthatmatter
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—meanteverythingtoher.
***
OverthecourseoftheafternoonatMick’s,SamfoundhimselffascinatedbywatchingCarriewithhertwinsister.Itseemedtohimthatthetwowomencouldn’thavebeenmoredifferent.Oh,notinappearance.Therewasnomistakingthattheywere
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identicaltwins.ButCaitlynlookedasifshe’ddressedinahurryandperhapsinthedark.AtthesametimeCarrie,eveninhernewday-to-daywardrobe,lookedasifshe’dsteppedoutofafashionmagazine.Apparentlyonceshe’dlearnedtheskillofdressing,shecouldachieveastylishlookwithasimpletwistofascarforawell-chosenpieceofcostume
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jewelry,thoughsomethingtoldhimthatwas18-karatgoldshewaswearingandthatthestoneswererealgems,notfakes.Hewasponderingthe
differencesinstyleandpersonality,whenNoahcameoverandaskedaboutBobby.“Igotaquicklookathis
stitchesasheracedpastaminuteago,”Noahsaid.“Nosignofinfection.Bringhim
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inthisweekandwe’llgetthemout.Anyafternoon’sokay.Justdropin.”“Thanks,”Samsaid.“Howdidthingsgoat
school?Problemresolved?”“Fornow,”Samsaid.“I
supposetherearealwaysgoingtobekidswhosayhatefulthings.IjustwanttobesureBobbydoesn’tbecomeoneofthem.”“Agoaleveryparent
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shouldhave,”Noahagreed.“Eventhoughit’stoughtomonitorthemeverysecondoftheday.”HestudiedSammoreintently.“Youdoingokay?Youwerethrustintoparenthoodprettyunexpectedly.”“I’dliketothinkI’m
gettingbettereverydayatfiguringouthownottomessthingsup,”Samsaid.“Carrie’sbeenahugehelpon
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thatfront.”“Ifyoudon’tmindme
sayingso,youdidn’tseemallthatthrilledtohaveherhelptheotherday.”“Yousawthat?”Samsaid,
chagrined.“Myinsecuritieswereinfullswing.IthoughtIshouldbetheadultdealingwiththecrisis.BobbywantedCarrie.Ihatetoadmitit,butonsomelevelIwasjealous.”Tohissurprise,Noah
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laughed.“I’vebeenthereatimeortwomyself.Carriehasawaywithkids,includingmyson.Youhavenoideahowmyhearttwistswhenhe’ssobbingandthrowinghisfoodatme.Thenshewalksinandit’sasifthesun’scomeout.He’ssuddenlyallsmiles.Worse,hecooperateswithwhatevershewantsfromhim.Maybeit’sbecausesheremindshim
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ofhismomormaybeshehasamagictouchwithkids.EitherwayIfeellikeafailure,andthenIfeellikeajerk.Ishouldwantmychildtobehappy,right?It’snotaboutwhoassuresthat.”“Soyou’retellingmethe
wholewounded-pridethingisprobablyabitofmachocraziness?”Samsuggested.Noahshrugged.“Pretty
much.Thereareplentyof
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timeswhenJackson’sfallingasleeponmychestorwhenItrytocoaxhimtosayDa-Daandhealmostgetsitright,thatIrealizeheandIaremakingourownmemories.Whenhe’sbigger,I’mtheonewho’llteachhimtoputawormonahookandcleanafish.Trustme,Caitmaynotbesqueamishwhenitcomestopeople,butsheisn’ttouchingwormsorthe
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innardsofafish.Carrie’snotfondofthat,either.”“SoIcancreatetheguy
memorieswithBobby,”Samconcluded.“You’realsohis
connectiontohisparents,”Noahsaidquietly.“Nobodyelsecanfillthatrole.”“Hedoeshave
grandparentsonhisdad’sside.I’mencouragingthemtobeapartofhislife.”
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“Butyougrewupwithhismom.Whoelseistheretotellhimstoriesaboutwhatshewaslikeasalittlegirl?”“Shewasapest,”Samsaid
emphatically,butfondly.“Tellhimthat.Ibethe’ll
lovehearingallaboutit.”JustthenCarriejoined
them.“Youtwolookawfullyserious,”shesaid,thenfrownedatherbrother-in-law.“You’renot
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interrogatinghim,areyou?”“Notatall,”Noahsaidat
once.“I’llleavethattomywifeandMick.”Carrierolledhereyes.
“ExactlywhyIcameoverhere,”shetoldSam,“tolureyouawaybeforeCaitormygrandfatherfindthetimetoquestionyouaboutyourintentions.Ithinkawell-timedretreatisinorder.”Noahlaughed.“Goodluck
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withthat,”hesaid,wanderingoffinsearchofhiswifeandson.“Youreallywanttogo?”
SamaskedCarrie.“Don’tyou?I’dthink
you’dbetiredofbeinginthemidstofthiscrowdafterafewhoursofspeculativelooksandprobablywaytoomanyintrusivequestions.”“I’muptoit.Ithought
you’dprobablywanttospend
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moretimewithyoursister.Isn’tsheheadingbacktoBaltimorethisevening?”“I’veenduredaboutas
manyofherpointedquestionsasIcanhandleforoneday.I’llbegladtoseethelastofher.”Samregardedherwith
shock.“Youdon’tmeanthat.”Carriechuckled.“Of
coursenot.We’llbeonthe
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phoneatleasttwicetomorrow,butwhenwe’reonthephone,Icanalwayshangupifshegetstoonosy.Inperson,Ican’tgetaway.”“Somebodyoughttodoa
studyofthedynamicsofthisfamily.ItwouldprobablymakeagreatPhDdissertation.”“I’llmentionthattoWill,”
shesaid,takinghimseriously.“He’sstillintouch
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withsomeofhispsychologyprofessors.”Shetookhishand.“Nowlet’sscootwhilewecan.”Samlookedintohereyes.
“Didyouhavesomethinginmindfortherestoftheday?”“AquietwalkalongShore
Road,thensomeicecream,”shesaid,muchtohisdisappointment.“Soundsgood,”hesaid,
tryingtomusterupsome
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enthusiasmwhenhismindhadalreadywanderedtomuchmoreenjoyablepursuits.Carrietuckedanarm
throughhisandgavehimaknowinglook.“I’mthinkingallthisactivityhere,plusthesugarfromanice-creamconewillhaveBobbydownforthecountinanhour.”“Ah,”Samsaid,
understandingatlast.“And
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then?”“Ibetifweuseour
imaginations,we’llbeabletothinkofsomething.”“Alreadyonit,”Samsaid.
Infact,hewasseveralwickedstepsahead.
***
Carrieobviouslyknewkidsprettydarnwell,Samconcludedashetucked
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Bobbyintobedfiveminutesaftertheyreturnedhomeaftereatingicecream.Bobbybarelymusteredupamildprotestattheearlyhour.“Toldyou,”Carriesaid,
smilingupathimwhenhejoinedheronthedeckoutback.She’dopenedabottleof
redwineandpouredtwoglasses.Whenhepickedhisup,shetappedherstoit.
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“Cheers!”Samheldhergaze.“Itwas
agoodday,wasn’tit?”Shenodded.“Itfeltright
somehow,youandBobbybeingtherewithme.”Samdrewinadeepbreath,
thenadmitted,“Itfeltthatwaytome,too.ThelasttimeIwasthereitwasalittleintimidating.”“O’Briens,cumulatively
anyway,canbeascary
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bunch.They’vebeenknowntoterrifymefromtimetotime.One-on-one,though,they’rejustfamily.”Shegavehimalonglook.“Ithinkthey’reallwonderinghowlongit’sgoingtobebeforeyou’reapartofthefamily.”WhenSamopenedhismouthtospeak,sheheldupahand.“Letthemwonder,Sam.That’sonthem.YouandIhaveagreedwe’retakingone
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stepatatime.”Tohissurprise,shedidn’t
seemtobebotheredbytheslow,steadypacetowardanuncertainending.Hesmiledatherdeliberatenonchalance.“Anythoughtsonhow
we’llknowwhenwegettothelaststep?”heasked,takingherhandandweavingtheirfingerstogetherastheysatsidebysidewithdarknessfalling.
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“SinceI’venevergottentherewithanyonebefore,I’mnotsure,butbasedonevidenceI’veseenaroundme,Ithinkwe’llrecognizeitwhenithappens.”“Areyouokaywith
waiting?”Sheturnedtohimthen,her
expressionearnest.“Dowehaveachoice?Sam,Ilikeyou.No,morethanthat,IthinkImaybefallinginlove
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withyou,butit’snotaone-sideddecision.Icanwaittillyougetthere,andthenwecandecidewhathappensnext.”“Somepeoplethinksex
comesintoplayatsomepoint,”hesaid,fightingasmileandarushofhormonesstirredjustbythesuggestion.“Don’tthinkforone
secondthatthethoughthasn’tcrossedmymind,”shesaid.
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“You?”“It’sfrontandcenterright
now,asamatteroffact.”Hesawherlipscurveat
that.Thenshesighed.“Goodtoknow.”“Butit’snotgoingto
happen,isit?”hesaidwithregret.“Nottonightwiththe
possibilitythatBobbycouldwakeupandwanderinonus,”shesaid.
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“Runawaywithme,”hepleadedwithsomeurgency.Carrielaughed.“MuchasI
mightwantto,Icanwait.Anticipationishalfthefun.”“It’snotthehalfI’dliketo
gettorightnow,”Samgrumbled.Heliftedherhandtohislipsandkissedherknuckles,thentookeachfingerintohismouth.Heheardherbreathhitch,evenashisbloodhummed.“You
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wouldn’twanttocomeoverandsharethisloungechairwithme,wouldyou?”“Soundsdangerous,”she
said.“ExactlywhatIwas
thinking.”Asecondlater,shewas
stretchedoutbesidehim,herheadonhisshoulder,herbodyfitsnuglyagainsthis.Itwasaformofsweettorturetobesure,butitdefinitely
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clarifiedthedirectioninwhichtheywereheading.
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21
Carriewasgoingthroughthestackofrésumésonherdeskonceagain,hopingtospottheperfectcandidateforassistantmanager.Unfortunately,shekeptgettingdistractedbymemoriesofhereveningwithSam.
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Themoretimetheyspenttogether,theclosertheyweregetting.And,shethoughtwryly,themorefrustratedtheywerebecoming.Despitetheirreaffirmationjustlastnightthattheywouldn’tsleeptogetherwithBobbyinthehouse,thatrulewasgettingmoreandmoredifficulttoabideby.Norweretheyinany
positiontosuddenlytakeoff
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foradayortwoontheirown,eventhoughKevinandShannahadofferedmorethanoncetoletBobbyhaveasleepoverattheirhouse.Theybothhadtoomuchworkrightnowtotakeadvantageoftheoffer.Plus,ifshewerebeing
totallyhonest,Carriewasn’tsureshewasreadytodealwithallthequestionsthatwereboundtofollowifthe
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familydiscoveredthey’dgoneonatriptogether.WithO’Briensthatwastantamounttoanadmissionthataweddingwasrightaroundthecorner.Inquiriesalongthatlinewouldaddwaytoomuchpressure.AndthentherewasMarc.
Asdiligentasshe’dbeenaboutignoringhistextsandcalls,hisinsistentattemptstocontactherkeptthatpartof
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herlifeverymuchalive.Shedidn’twantanypartofthatoldlife,butshecouldn’tquiteforgetit—orhim—completely.WhatdidthatsayaboutherfeelingsforSam?Sincewrestlingwithallof
thiswasgettinghernowhere,shesighedandforcedherattentionbacktotherésumés.Shereachedthebottomofthepileandconcludedthattherewasnothingshe’dmissedthe
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firsttimearound.Theresimplywerenogoodcandidates.Justthen,ataponthefront
doorofthecenterstartledher.Mostpeoplejustwalkedin,evenwiththeclosedsignonthedoor.Shehurriedacrosstheroom,wonderingiftherewassomeinspectionshehadn’tknownaboutorpossiblyaparentdesperatetofindchildcareandhopingnot
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tobeturnedawayiftheycameinperson.Instead,shediscovered
Lucyontheporch.“Hi,”Lucysaid,shifting
nervouslyfromfoottofoot,atentativesmileonherface.“Iknowyoumustbeswampedwithdetails,butdoyouhavesometimetotalktome?”“Foryou,absolutely,”
Carriesaidwithdelight.“Whatbringsyouhere?
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Comeonin.Ihavesomebottledwaterifyou’rethirsty,butnotmuchelse.”“That’sokay.I’mgood.
Well,mostlygood.ActuallyI’malittlerattled,becauseIdon’tknowhowyou’regoingtoreacttothis,butMomtoldmeIhadtotry.”Carrieledthewaytoher
crampedoffice,thenregardedhernervousguestwithconfusion.“Lucy,you’re
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alwayswelcomehere.Aftereverythingyouandyourmomhavedoneforme,arestilldoingforme,Iconsideryoutobemuchmorethanmentors.You’refriends.Nowhaveaseatandtellmewhat’sonyourmind.Isyourmomintownwithyou?Shedidn’tmentionyouwereplanningavisit.”Lucyshookherhead.“No,
she’sbeenattheday-care
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centersincedawnasusual.butwedidcomedownyesterday.Itwasalast-minutething.Italkedherintoit.Shedidn’twanttoadmititwhenwewereherethelasttime,butshefellinlovewithChesapeakeShoresthesamewayIdid.”Carrielaughed.
“Everybodydoes.DidyougobacktoBrady’s?”“Actuallywejustgrabbed
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asandwichatSally’sCafé,andthenspentsometimewitharealestateagent,awomannamedSusieFranklin.Shesaidshe’syourcousin.”Ah,sothatexplained
Susie’sabsencefromyesterday’sdinner.CarriehadfearedshewasavoidingSamandBobby.Maybeher,aswell.“Susie’sgreat,andshe
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certainlyknowseverysinglepieceofpropertyinthetown.Areyouallseriouslythinkingofrelocating?Thatwouldbefantastic!”Shefrownedasathoughtcrossedhermind.“Yourmom’snotworriedthatI’llthinkshe’swatchingovermyshoulder,isshe?”“Notatall.Iactuallythink
I’vejustaboutconvincedherthatit’stimetoretire,orwillbewhenhercurrentclients
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aretoooldtoneedheranymore.That’lltakeanothertwoorthreeyears,butforthatlongshecouldcommute,justlikeyoutoldher.”“She’dclosehercenter?”
Carrieasked,startled.“She’sdonereallywell
withit,buttobehonest,she’shadnolife.I’llbegraduatingfromcollegethisyear,sothatfinancialburdenwillbebehindher.”
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“Howwereyouabletopersuadeyourmomtoconsiderthismove?”Carrieasked.“Itoldhershe’snotgetting
anyyounger.”Carriewinced,butsaid
nothing.“Itoldherit’swaypast
timeforhertodosomethingforherself,”Lucycontinuedearnestly.“Ithinkthistownistheplaceforhertoreinvent
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herself.She’sstartingtoagree.”Herexpressionbrightened
withthebubblyenthusiasmthatmadehersogreatwithkids.“Weactuallymadeanofferonahouseyesterday,”sherevealed.“Yourcousincalledlastnightandtheofferwasaccepted.Mymomturnedpale,butIreallythinkshe’sasexcitedasIam,justalittlescaredabouttakingsuch
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ahugestep.”“Oh,mygosh,that’s
incredible!”Carriesaid.“I’msohappyyou’regoingtobecloseby.”ShestudiedLucyandsawthatshewasstillabundleofnerves.“Butyoudidn’tcomebyjusttosharethatnewswithme,didyou?”“No,”sheadmitted,then
drewinadeepbreath.“Icametoaskifyou’dconsiderhiringme,part-timetillI
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graduateinthespring,andthenmaybefull-time.”Carrie’sjawdropped.
“You’reserious?You’dwanttoworkwithmehere?”“Ilikeyou.Icanalready
tellI’lllovethistown.Thisfacilityisbeautiful.You’vecreatedawonderfulenvironmentforkids.Formeit’sexactlywhereI’dwanttowindupaftergraduation.Idon’tlikewherewe’re
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locatednow,evenifitwouldmeantakingoveranestablisheddaycare.”Sheshrugged.“Imightaswellseizetheopportunitynow,ifthereisone.”“Andyourmomdoesn’t
carethatyou’reabandoningher?”“LikeIsaid,she’salready
cuttingback.Prettysoonshewon’thaveaplaceforme,anyway.Shewastheonewho
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suggestedthis,asamatteroffact.Doyoustillneedanyhelp?PleasetellmeI’mnottoolate.”Carriestoodupandthrew
herarmsaroundthegirl.“You,myfriend,aretheanswertomyprayers.I’vehiredacoupleofpromisingemployees,butI’ddespairedofeverfindingagoodcandidateforassistantmanager.Youhavethe
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experienceandqualificationsforthat,ifyou’reinterested.Iknowitwouldn’tbefull-timeatfirst,butIthinkwecouldgetthroughthisyearokaytillyou’refinishedwithschool.Iknowhowgoodyouare,Lucy.Notjustwiththekids,butwiththebusinesssideofthings.Whenyourmomwashittingmewithtoomuchinformationthatsoundedlikeaforeignlanguage,you
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turneditintoplainEnglish.Please,pleasesayyou’lldoit.”Asmilespreadacross
Lucy’sface.“Icameinherescaredtodeathtoaskyouforafavor,andnowitalmostseemsasifI’mdoingoneforyou.”“Youwouldbe.Bringing
youonboardwouldfreeupalittleofmytime.”Aknowingexpression
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passedoverLucy’sface.“Sothereisaguy?Iknewit.ItoldMomyouweretoofantasticnottohaveaspecialmanhiddenaway.”AnimageofSamcameto
mind,ofthewayhiskissescontinuedtoknockhersocksoff,ofhowmuchmoreshethoughttherecouldbebetweenthem.“Yeah,thereisaman,”sheconceded.“Notthatmakingasuccessofthis
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businessisn’tmytoppriorityrightnow.”“Ofcourseitis,butI’ve
beentellingMomforyearsthatherlifeshouldn’tbeallaboutmeandbusiness.IthinkwhenDadleftittooksomethingoutofher.I’mhopinglivingherewillgiveherbackthatpartofherself.”“ChesapeakeShoresdoes
haveawayofcreatingthatkindofmagic,”Carriesaid.
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“So,exceptfortalkingsalaryandschedule,dowehaveadeal?”Lucynoddedeagerly.“We
haveadeal.”Fortheveryfirsttimesince
she’dsethercareerplanintomotion,Carriewastrulyfilledwithconfidencethatshewouldsucceed.And,intime,withLucy’senergy,exuberanceandexperienceonboard,she’dbeabletogetthe
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sortofbalanceintoherlifethathermomandeveryotherwomanintheO’Brienclanworkedsohardtoachieve.
***
WhenSamwalkedintoSally’stograbanicedteaandasandwichtogo,theblackCadillacEscaladewithitsuniformeddriverandhandsome,semifamous
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occupantwasthetalkofthecafé.Samoverheardjustenoughtomakehisbloodruncold.Henoddedtowardthe
gossipingtriooffemaletouristsintheclosestbooth,thenaskedSally,“What’sthatabout?”“Thatdesigner,theone
Carrieusedtoworkfor,wasinhereafewminutesagolookingforher.Obviously
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thosewomendon’tknowthekindofmanheisortheywouldn’tbeactinglikefoolsoverhim.”“Anyideawhathewanted,
asidefromCarrie,thatis?”Samasked,hisheartinhisthroat.Wasthisit?Hadshefinallyrespondedtothosetextsandmessagesshe’dclaimedtobeignoring?WasthisCarrie’schancetogobacktothelifethatso
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obviouslysuitedher?He’dneverunderstoodhowanysanemancouldlethergo.HadReynoldsfinallyseenthelightandcometoclaimher?He’dcharmedheronce.Couldhedoitagain?“I’mafraidhedidn’tfill
meinonhisplans,”Sallysaiddryly.“Iam,afterall,justtheownerofasmall-towncaféinthemiddleofnowhere.”
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Samsmiledatherattitude.“Abitofasnob,washe?”“Morelikeanoilysnake
charmer,”shecorrected.“Irecognizethetype.Smoothassilkiftheythinkitwillget’emwhattheywant.”“Anddidhegetwhathe
wanted?”Samasked.“YoumeandidItellhim
wheretofindCarrie?”Sheshrugged.“IfIhadn’t,someoneelsewouldhave.Of
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course,IdiddirecthimuptoMick’splace,nottothedaycare.LethimdoalittleexplainingtoCarrie’sgrandfather,ifhewantstogettoher.”Impulsively,Samplanteda
kissonSally’scheek.“Youtrulyareatreasure.”“Noquestionaboutit,”she
said,laughing.“Nowtakeyourlunchandgo.Ifyoudon’tmindapieceofadvice,
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IsuggestyoueatitwithCarrieatthedaycare,insteadofgoingbacktoyourownofficeandstewingallafternoon.”“YousuggestingIshould
stakemyclaim?”“Itwouldn’thurt.Iputan
extrasandwichinthere,justincaseyouhavemoresensethanpride.”Samnodded.“I’ll
definitelytakethatunder
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advisement.”“Seethatyoudo.”Samleftthecafé,then
drewinadeepbreath,fillinghislungswiththecleansaltyair.Thisfresh,invigoratingairwassomethingCarriewouldn’tgetifshejettedoffacrosstheglobeagain.Whowashe,though,totrytostandinherway?WhatcouldheofferthatthisMarcReynoldscouldn’tofferahundred
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timesover?Reasontoldhimtolook
around.ChesapeakeShoreswaswhatsheclaimedtowant.Sheseemedtohavedeepfeelingsforhim,too.AndshecertainlyhadfeelingsforBobby.Family,sheclaimedwashertoppriority,andhernewday-carecenterpromisedadeepsenseofprofessionalfulfillment.Wasthatenough?Itwould
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beforthewomanhethoughthe’dcometoknow.Justincaseyouhavemore
sensethanpride.Sally’swordsranginhishead,tauntinghim.Hewantedtobelievehedid,buthealsohadahealthyrespectforbeingrealistic.ThismightbeCarrie’schancetograbeverythingshe’dlost.Andifthat’swhatsheneeded,whatshewanted,hewasn’tgoing
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tobetheonetotrytostopher,eventhoughinhisopinionMarcReynoldshadalreadyshownhimselftobeunworthyofawomanwithCarrie’skindnessandgenerosity.Ifhehadthechance,he’dtellherthat,too.Hetookyetanotherdeep,
cleansingbreathandturnedtowardthenewspaperoffice.Iftheyweregoingtomakeit,hehadtotrustCarrietomake
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therightchoice.Hehadtohavefaiththatshewouldchoosehim—andfamilyandhome—overflashandglamour.Butasstrongashisfaithin
hermightbe,itwasgoingtobeaverylongafternoon.
***
Mickhadgoneoutsidewithhisfather’spipeandwas
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enjoyingthefallafternoon,whenthebigblackSUVdroveup.Hisgazenarrowedasherecognizedtheperfectlygroomedmanwhoclimbedoutoftheback,everyhairinplace,hisclothesimpeccable.Mick’sbloodpromptlycametoaboil,buthecouldhearMegan’svoiceinhisheadtellinghimtowaitandseewhatthedesignerwantedbeforekickinghimoffhis
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landandoutoftown.“Mr.O’Brien?”“That’sme,”Mick
confirmed.“WhatcanIdoforyou,Mr.Reynolds?”Theman’sexpression
didn’tregistersomuchasahintofsurprise.Clearlyheexpectedtoberecognizedwhereverhewent.Anotherblackmark,inMick’sopinion.“I’mlookingforCarrie.”
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“Oh?Alittlelateforthat,isn’tit?”Thedirectremarkhitits
target.Reynoldslookedtakenaback.“Lettingherleavewasa
foolishdecisiononmypart,”heconceded.“I’mafraidIunderestimatedhervaluetomybusiness.”“Butnottoyou?”Themanlooked
completelybefuddledbythe
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question,whichtoldMickallheneededtoknow.MarcReynoldshadn’tshownupherebecausehe’ddiscoveredsomedeep,abidingloveforCarrie.Hewasherebecauseofwhatshecoulddoforhim.Well,notifMickhadanythingtosayaboutit.Nomanwasgoingtogetasecondchancetobreakhisgirl’sheart.“Idoubtshe’sinterestedin
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anythingyou’reoffering,”Micktoldhim.“Shouldn’tyoulether
decidethatforherself?”“Morethanlikely,”Mick
said,takingalongdrawonhispipeandreleasingthefragrantsmokeintotheair.“ButI’mcomfortablewithtellingyoutogetoutofmytownandoutofmygirl’slife.”“MickO’Brien!”
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Mickwinced.Unfortunatelyhehadn’ttakenintoaccountthatMawasinside.Apparentlyshe’doverheardenoughtoguesstheidentityoftheirunwantedguestandtofigureoutwhatMickwasupto.MarcReynolds’sgaze
immediatelywenttoNell,whoemergedfromthehouseandwasregardingbothofthemwithdispleasure.
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“YoumustbeCarrie’sgreat-grandmother.Nell,isn’tthatright?”“Iam.”“I’veheardalotaboutyou,
aboutallofyou.FamilymeanstheworldtoCarrie.”“Nowthat’sthefirstthing
we’veagreedon,”Micksaid.“WhichiswhyshebelongsrighthereinChesapeakeShores.”Maputahandonhis
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shoulder.“Sheknowsthat,Mick.ButsheneedstobetheonetoexplainittoMr.Reynolds.I’dsaythetwoofthemhavesomeunfinishedbusiness.”Mickfrownedatthat.“If
themanwereherebecausehewantedtotellherhewasinlovewithher,Imightagree,butthat’snotit,isit,Mr.Reynolds?Hewantshertocomebackandbehis
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workhorseagain,thewayshewasbefore.”“IimagineCarriewillbe
smartenoughtounderstandthedistinction,”Nellsaid.“Andifit’sajobshewantstogobackto,we’llhavetolivewiththat.”“Ma!”Nellignoredhim.“Mr.
Reynolds,IthinkifyoutrulywantourCarriebackworkingforyou,you’llneedto
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improveyourpresentation.She’snotasgullibleassheoncewas.IsuggestyouspendthenightattheInnatEaglePointandputyourbestproposalonpaper.We’llletCarrieknowyou’reintownand,ifshe’sinterested,she’llmeetyouinthediningroomtherefirstthingtomorrowmorning.”“Idon’thavetimefor
this,”thedesignersnapped
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impatiently.“I’vecomeallthewayfromNewYorkasitis.I’mscheduledtoflytoMilantomorrow.”“I’msureyouhavean
assistantwhocanchangeyourtravelarrangements,”Nellsaidmildly.“Idon’t,”hegrumbled.
“That’sthesortofthingthatCarriehandled.Thelasttwopeopleinthatpositionquit.”“It’ssodifficulttofind
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competenthelpthesedays,isn’tit?”Nellsaidsympathetically.“Littlewonderyou’dlikeourCarrieback.Makesureyoutellherhowvaluableshewastoyou.I’msurethatwillmakeanimpression.”Seeminglyresignedto
followingNell’ssuggestion,Reynoldsasked,“Where’sthisinnyoumentioned?”Mickgavehimdirections,
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thenwatchedhimleavebeforeturninghisgazeonhismother.“You’realotsneakierthan
Igaveyoucreditforbeing.Youknowifhestartslistingallthelittlemenialtaskshewantshertodo,Carriewillthrowhisofferbackinhisface.”“Ithinkshe’ssmartenough
toseethathe’slookingforoneofthosegoferpeople,”
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Nellagreed.“He’snotinterestedinthekindofrelationshipCarriethoughtshewantedwithhim.Ialsothinkshe’ssmartenoughtorecognizethatSamistwicethemanMarcReynoldsis,thatshe’llhavearealpartnershipwithhim.Andthatherworkhere—abusinessshe’sbuildingonherownfromthegroundup—willfulfillherinwaysthat
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jobwithMarcReynoldsneverdid.”“It’sabigrisk,”Micksaid.
“Lettinghimdanglemoneyandafancylifestyleinfrontofher.”“Shehadallthatonceand
shestillcamehome,”Nellremindedhim.“Becausethatjerkbroke
herheart,”Mickcountered.“No,becausesheknewit
waswhereshebelonged.If
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she’donlycometolickherwoundsforabit,wouldshebeopeningaday-carecenter?No,she’dhavebeenonaplanebacktoEuropewithinamonth.Therewereotherdesignersshecouldhaveworkedfor,ifthat’swhatshetrulywanted.”“Ihopeyou’reright,”Mick
said.“Otherthanyou,doyou
knowofasinglepersonin
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thisfamilywhoknowswhat’sintheheartsofouryoungonesbetterthanIdo?”Micksmiled.“Nowthat
youmentionit,no.”“Thentrustme.Carriewill
sendhimonhisway,thatisifsheshowsupforthatmeetingatall.”“Yougoingtotellherhe’s
attheinnwaitingtohearfromher?”Nellseemedtogivethe
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questionasurprisingamountofthought,thenshrugged.“CouldbeI’lljustleaveittofate.Youdothesame.Wecanconsideritatestofthatgrapevinethistownisreputedtohave.”Withthatshewalkeddown
thestepsandheadedacrossthelawntowardherowncottage.Fate?Mickstaredafterher.
OrtheChesapeakeShores
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grapevine?Ma’ssneakinessquotientjusttickedupanothernotch.
***
“So,haveyoumadeyourdecision?Areyouleaving?”SamaskedCarriewhenhesawherinfrontofherhouseashewasheadinghomefromwork.Shewasonherkneespullingweeds,astreakofdirt
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onherface.Hewantedtodragherintohisarmsandbeghertostay.Instead,hewaitedforherreply.Sheregardedhim
curiously.“Leaving?Ihavenoideawhatyou’retalkingabout.I’mnotplanningatrip.”“Imeantforgood.That’s
whyMarcReynoldswasheretoday,wasn’tit?Tolureyouintocomingbacktohim?”
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Shesatbackonherheelsandstared,clearlystartled.“Sam,IneversawMarc,andevenifIhad,Icertainlywouldn’tbegoinganywherewithhim.Thatpartofmylifeisoveranddonewith.I’mexactlywhereIwanttobe.”Hergazenarrowed.“IthoughtyouunderstoodhowimportantyouandBobbyarebecominginmylife,howdeterminedIamtomakethis
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day-carecenterasuccess.”ReliefwashedoverSam,
buthestillhadthistiny,nigglingdoubttormentinghim.“Howcanyousaythatwithsuchcertainty,ifyoudon’tknowwhathewasoffering?”heasked,thoughitdidstrikehimasoddthatthedesignerapparentlyhadn’tevenspokentoher.WasthatMick’sdoing?“Icansayitbecauseit
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doesn’tmatterwhatheoffers.I’mnotgoinganywhere.”Shestudiedhimcuriously.“Sam,howdoyouevenknowthatMarcwasintown?Didyourunintohim?DidhesaysomethingtomakeyouthinkI’dbejettingoffwithhim?”Regrettingthathe’d
openedawholecanofwormsthathadsomehowbeenleftontheshelfbyeveryoneelseinvolved,Samexplained
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aboutMarc’svisittoSally’sandtheensuingexcitement.“That’swhenIwalkedin.I
neverseteyesonhimmyself.Sallysaidshepointedhiminyourgrandfather’sdirection.”Carrieappearedtaken
abackyetagain,butthenherlipscurved.Nextthingheknew,shewaslaughing.“I’llbetthatmeetingwentwell.NowonderIhaven’tseenMarc.Iprobablyneedto
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investigatetomakesurehe’sstillinonepiece.”“Youdon’tseemoverly
concernedaboutwhetherheisornot,”Samsaid.Thistimehewasabletobaskinthereliefthatwashedoverhim.“There’salmostnothing
mygrandfathercoulddo,shortofmurder,thatMarcdoesn’tdeserve,”shesaid,asurprisinglybloodthirstynote
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inhervoice.Thenshesighed.“ButIreallyshouldchecktoseewhat’sgoingon.”Justthenhercellphone
rang.SheglancedatcallerID,thentookthecall.“Hey,Jess.What’sgoingon?”Shelistenedtoheraunt,
anothersmilespreadingacrossherface.“Yes,youcanshort-sheethisbed,andno,Iwon’tbeinit.”Shedisconnectedthecall
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andgrinnedatSam.“Mysterysolved.Gramdispatchedhimtotheinntoworkonaproperpresentationtomaketomeinthemorning.Jesssayshe’sexpectingmeatnine.”“Yougoingtobethere?”Shesteppedcloser,
strippedoffhergardeningglovesandframedhisfacewithbothhands.“Yes,”shesaid,causinghishearttosink.“Okay,Iguessyouneedto
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hearhimout,”Samsaid,deflated.“I’mnotgoingtohearhim
out,”Carriecorrected.“I’mgoingtotellhimgoodbyeonceandforall.ThenI’mgoingtofindyouandkissyousenseless,tillyourealizeyou’retheonlymanIwantinmylifenow.”Samsmiledatlast.Now
therewasaplanhecoulddefinitelygetbehind.
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“Sticktoyourguns,okay?I’dhatetohavetofindhimandbeatthetaroutofhimforhurtingyouagain.”“You’dprobablyhaveto
getinlinetodothat,”shesaid.“ButIlovethatyou’rewillingtogothatfartoprotectme.”“I’llgoasfarasIhaveto,”
hepromisedherquietly.SheandBobbywerehislife.Asmuchasitsurprisedhim,he
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knewhe’ddowhateverittooktokeepthembothsafeandhappy.
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22
Carriestoodinthedoorwaytotheinn’sdiningroomandstudiedthemanshe’doncethoughtsheloved.ThesightofMarcnolongermovedherasitoncehad.Itseemedshe’drecentlyfallenforaguywhoseshirtwasrarelytucked
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in,whoseideaoffashionwasaformfittingT-shirtthatthesedayswasmostoftensmearedwithjellyandwhosehairwasusuallyinneedofatrim.Samwasamanwhoseworldhadbeenshakenbyloss,andthenturnedupsidedownbyinstantparenthood,andyethe’dfoundawaytocope.Marccouldn’tcopewithmakinghisownairlinereservations.
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Infact,Samwasquiteacontrasttothemansittingatatablebythewindow,hisattentionfocusedonhistablet,ratherthanthespectacularviewoutside.Marcapparentlycouldn’tevendealwiththelossofanassistantwithpublic-relationsskills,thoughCarriehadtowonderifitwasthoseskillshemissedorherall-aroundadorationandtwenty-four-
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houravailabilityforanyandalltasksthatmadehislifeeasier.Nowhewastapping
impatientlyonthetabletscreen,hisbrowknitwithafrown.Hewastooabsorbedtonoticeherapproach.“Iheardyouwantedtosee
me,”shesaid,pullingoutachairandsittingacrossfromhim.Heglancedupatthat,
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delightspreadingacrosshisface.Shehadnodoubtthatmuchatleastwasgenuine.Ifheneededher,whichwastheonlyexplanationforhisarrivalinChesapeakeShores,thenhe’dbeallbutcertainshe’drespondtohisdistresscallandturnherlifeinsideouttoaccommodatehim.He’dnodoubtdismissedhercontinuedavoidanceofhiscalls,consideringthattobe
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nomorethananinsignificantfitofpique.“Youlookgreat!”hesaid,
hisgazeintent.“Idon’trecognizethedesigner,though.Whoselineareyouwearing?”“Noidea,”shesaidwitha
disinterestedshrug.“Iboughttheclothesbecausethey’repracticalforwork.”Helookedstartled.“You
haveanotherjob?Ihadn’t
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heard.”“I’mnotsurprised.News
ofmyopeningaday-carecenterwouldn’tlikelybeonyourradar.”Hefrownedatthat.“A
day-carecenter?Youmeanforchildren?”“That’susuallywho
they’remeantfor,”shesaid,smilingathisreaction.“Holdon,you’regoingto
beapaidbabysitter?”he
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askedincredulously.Shedidn’tbothertaking
offense.“It’salittlemoremeaningfulthanthat,butbasically,yes.Ishouldthankyou.Haditnotbeenforthewholefiascowithyou,IneverwouldhaverecognizedwhatIwasmeanttodo.”“Takingcareofother
people’schildrenisnotyourcalling,”hescoffed.“Ifyouthinkthat,you’rejustsettling.
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Youweremeantformuchmore.”“Suchasmakingyour
airlinereservations,dealingwiththemedia,plantinglittleitemsinthegossipcolumnstokeepyournameoutthere?”“Ofcourse.Allofthatis
almostasessentialinthefashionindustryasthedesignsthemselves.”“Andnoone’sbeenableto
fillthatnicheforyoutheway
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Idid?Iassumethat’swhyyou’rehere.YoudiscoveredI’mindispensable?Orweremyreplacementstoodemanding?Maybetheyexpectedtimeoff?Orweren’twillingtogoalongwiththebedroomperks?”Helookedstartledbyher
sarcastictone.“Ithoughtyoulovedyourjob.”“Ilovedyou,youidiot!
AndIdidthejobexceedingly
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welltotrytogetyourattention.”“Well,youhaveitnow.I
wantyoutocomebacktoworkforme,Carrie.Ineedyou.There,Isaidit.Doesthatmakeyouhappy,knowingIcan’tfunctionwithoutyou?Iwasfoolishtoletyouleave,especiallyoversomeschoolgirlcrushyouthoughtyouhadonme.”Sheregardedhimwith
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shock.“That’swhatyouthinkitwas,aschoolgirlcrush?”Shesighedandshookherhead.“Thatcertainlyexplainsalot.”“Meaning?”“Ittellsmethekindofman
youare.Youtookadvantageofawomanyouthoughthadasilly,meaninglesscrushsimplytomakeyourlifeeasier.”Sheshookherhead.“HowcouldIpossiblyhave
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beensoblind?”Hewincedatthescathing
noteinhervoice.Hefinallyseemedtorealizeshewasn’tgoingtofallintolinequitesoreadilyandchangedtactics.“Okay,Iadmitit.Ididn’ttreatyouwell.Iwascarelesswithyourfeelings.Itwon’thappenagain,Carrie.”Shesighedathispitiful
attempttoappearcontrite.“Asapologiesgo,thatone
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lackedacertainamountofsincerity,”shesaid.“Butyouarerightaboutonething.Itwon’thappenagain,becauseI’mnotcomingback,Marc.”Hewavedoffthe
statement.“Ofcourseyouare.I’mpreparedtomakeaverygenerousoffer,muchmorethanyouweremakingbefore.It’scertainlymorethanyou’llevermakeasababysitter.”
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“Marc,there’snotenoughmoneyintheworldtopersuademetocomebackandbeoneoftheminorplanetsorbitingaroundyou,”shesaid,standing.“Ihopeyoutakethetimetolookaroundtownwhileyou’rehere.It’sagreatplaceandit’sfilledwithpeoplewhoknowwhat’simportantinlife.Goodbye,Marc.”Sheturnedonherheeland
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walkedaway.Thistimeshedidn’tlookback.Nordidshehaveasingleregret.ShecouldhardlywaittofindSamandmakegoodonherpromise.Kissinghimsenselesswouldwipethisdepressingencounterrightoutofherhead.
***
“Thanksformeetingme
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here,”ConnortoldMackastheysatonthedeckatBrady’s.Thefirstcrisphintoffallwasintheairandthewarmthofthesunfeltgood.“Whyarewehereinstead
ofinyouroffice?”Mackasked.“OratthepuborSally’s?”“BecauseIwantedthis
conversationtobeprivate.Ifyou’dstoppedbytheoffice,someonemighthavegotten
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windofit,andifwe’dmetatthepuborthecafé,wordwouldhavespreadinananosecond.Evenmorelikely,someoneinthefamilywouldhavejoinedus.”Mackstudiedhimintently.
“You’resoundingawfullymysterious.What’sgoingon?”“Ihavenews,”Connor
said.“AndI’mnotsurehowyou’regoingtofeelaboutit,
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muchlesshowSusiewillreact.”Macksawexactlywhere
thiswasheading.“Anotheradoption?Susie’sdefinitelynotreadytoconsiderthat,Connor.She’sbetter,butshe’sstillreelingfromlasttime.”“It’snotexactlyanother
adoption,”Connorsaid.Hedrewinadeepbreath.“Letmejustgetthisout.The
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motherchangedhermindagain.Thingsdidn’tworkoutwiththeboyfriend,andonceagain,she’sdecidedshe’snotcutoutformotherhood.Shecalledmyformerlawofficeandsaidshewantedtogothroughwiththeadoption.”Jawdropping,Mack
simplystaredathim.Whenhecouldfinallygatherhisthoughts,histemperkickedin.“Areyoukiddingme?
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Whyinheaven’snamewouldwetakeanotherchancewithher?Sheclearlyhasnoideawhatshewants.Ican’taskSusietoagreetothis,maybeeventobringthatbabygirlhome,andhavethiswomanchangehermindyetagain.HavingthatbabyliterallyrippedoutofherarmsthistimewouldbethefinalstrawforSusie.”“Iknow,”Connoragreed,
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histonequietlyreasonable,asharpcontrasttoMack’sincensedreaction.“It’saterriblerisk,andtherearenoguarantees.Therecouldverywellbemaneuveringroominthelawforhertodecideagainthatshewantstokeepherbaby.”HeleveledalookintoMack’seyes.“Buthere’sthething—thisbabyisreal.It’savailable.ItneedsthesortoflovinghomeyouandSusie
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couldprovide.”“Forthemoment,”Mack
saiddirely.“Yes,forthemoment,”
Connoragreed.“Letsomebodyelseface
theprospectofheartbreak,”Macksaidheatedly.“Wecan’tdothattoSusieagain.”“Areyousure?Areyou
100percentcertaintheriskisn’tworthit?”Connorsighed.“I’mreallynottrying
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tosellyouonthis.Ithastobeyourdecision,Mack.YouknowSusiebetterthananyofus.”Mackrakedahandthrough
hishairandregardedConnorwithdismay.“WhatamIsupposedtodo?Ican’tbearthethoughtofSusiehurtinglikethiseveragain.”“Orthiscouldbethebest
thingthateverhappened,”Connorsaidandreachedinto
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hispocket.HepushedasmallsquareofpaperinMack’sdirection.Mackflippeditoverand
sawasweetlittlefacewithatinybowofamouth,hugebrowneyesandafluffofdarkhairwithapinkbowonanelasticribbon.Hedrewinasharpbreathandsomethinginhisheartturnedover.“Thisisher?”Connornodded.
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“She’sbeautiful,”Mackwhispered,awedbythepossibilitythatshecouldbehisdaughter.Ifhewasthistakenwithherafteronlyaglimpse,howwouldSusiefeel?Couldhedenyhertherighttomakethisdecisionforherself,eventhoughitcamefraughtwithperil?“Connor,whatamIsupposedtodo?”“Takethatpicturehome
andtalktoyourwife,”
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Connorsaidquietly.“Youknowthat’stheonlyrealchoiceyouhave.”“Isthereanywaywecan
protectourselvesthistime?”Mackasked.“Anywaytomakethisdecisionbindingandscrapthewaitingperiodwhenthemomcansuddenlytakeherfromus?”“Icantry,giventhe
circumstances.Icanmakeastrongcasefornotallowing
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youtogetburnedtwice,butthelawreallydoesgivethebirthmotherafairamountofprotection.”“Evenaftershe’sproved
herimmaturity?”Macksaid.“LikeIsaid,Icantry.”Macktouchedafingerto
thattiny,preciousface,thenpickedupthephotoandtuckeditintohispocket.Hestoodup.“I’llletyouknow.”“Don’twaittoolong,”
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Connorwarned.“Herattorneywantstomoveonthis,getthebabysettledintoagoodhome.”Mackcouldn’tseemto
preventahintofbitternessfromcreepingintohisvoice.“Anyhomewouldhavetobebetterthanwheresheisrightnow.”“Beforeyoujudgethe
momtooharshly,thinkaboutthis.Shereallyistryingtodo
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rightbyherbaby.AndyouandSusiecouldbethebeneficiaryofthat.”Macksighed.“You’re
right.I’lltrytokeepthatinmind.”
***
Athome,whilehewaitedforSusietogetthere,MackopenedthedoortothenurserySusiehaddecorated
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withsomuchjoyandhopejustafewmonthsearlier.Unlessshe’dgoneintherewhenhewasn’taround,ithadstoodemptyeversinceshe’dslammedthedoorshutonthedaythey’dgottenthenewsthatthebabywouldn’tbecominghomewiththem.Andnowhewasaboutto
askhertogetbackontothatemotionalrollercoaster,evenknowinghowfragileher
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recoverywas.Heheardthefrontdoor
openandclose,thenheardhercallinghisname.“Backhere,”hecalledout.HeheardSusie’sfootsteps
gettingcloser,thennothing.Heturnedandsawherattheendofthehall,unableorunwillingtocomeintotheroomthey’ddecoratedasanursery.“Whyareyouthere?”she
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asked.“Pleasedonottellmeit’stimetodismantlethenursery,Mack.IknowI’vebeenstruggling,butI’mdoingthebestIcan.Ican’tfacethatroomyet.”“Please,”hesaid,andheld
outhishand.“Please,Suze.That’snotwhatI’masking,butwedoneedtotalk.Ithinkweneedtodoithere.”Shehesitatedforwhat
seemedlikeaneternitybefore
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finallyapproaching.Evenaftershejoinedhim,shekeptherbacktotheroom.“IspoketoConnor
earlier,”hesaid,holdinghergaze.“Themomhasdecidedtogiveherbabyupforadoption,afterall.”Susiestaredathim,clearly
notcomprehending.“Whatdoesthatmean?”“Thebabycouldbeours,
Susie.”Heletthethought
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hangintheair,triedtogaugeherreaction,butherexpressiongaveawaynothing.“Butwehavetobewillingtotakeanotherchance.Itdoesn’tcomewithguarantees,thoughConnorsayshe’lltrytomakeitassolidashecan.”Hedrewthepictureoutofhispocketandhandedittoher.Shereactedthen.Tears
filledhereyesandspilled
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downhercheeks.“Oh,myGod,”shewhispered,thenliftedhereyestolookintohis.“Shereallycouldbeours,afterall?When?”“Assoonasweagree,I
think.ConnorandIdidn’ttalkaboutthat.Iwasn’teven100percentsureIshouldtellyou.Idon’tthinkIcouldbearitifyougotyourheartbrokenagain.”Shestudiedthepicture
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intently,thenasked,“Howcanwesayno,Mack?”Whenshelookedupfromthepicture,hereyeswereshining.“Thislittlegirlcouldbeours.Fate’sgivingusasecondchance.”Hestudiedherfaceand
sawtheSusiehe’dfalleninlovewith,theonewhoalmostalwayslethopeandoptimismoutshinedespair.“Areyousurethisiswhatyouwant,
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evenafterwhatyou’vebeenthrough?IknowI’vebeenencouragingyoutoconsideradoptionagain,butthismom,youknowshecouldbeabadriskwhenitcomestostickingwithherdecision.”“Mack,Iwantsobadlyto
holdababyinmyarms.Iwantustohaveafamilyandthisisourchance.Ithinkthiswasmeanttobe.Ihavetobelievethat.”
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“Andyou’restrongenoughtodealwithit,ifitturnsoutyou’rewrong?”Hepulledherclose,restedhischinonherhead.“BecauseIcan’tloseyouoverthis,Suze.You’remyworld.”“Andyou’remine.You
alwayshavebeen.Ithinkwecanmakeroominitforonemore.”Macksawnowayaround
it.Asterrifiedashewasofa
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repeatofthelasttime,ifthisbabywaswhatSusieneeded,he’dputhisownfearsasideandmoveheavenandearthtoseethatithappened.Hethoughtofthefaceinthattinyphotographandthepowerfulpullhe’dfeltashe’dstaredintothosesolemnbrowneyes.“I’llcallConnor,”hesaid.
“Whydon’tyouopenthewindowsandgetalittlefresh
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airintothisroom?”Whilehemadethecall,he
watchedasSusieopenedwindows,thenmovedaroundtheroom,touchingthemobileoverthecribtosetthelittlebunniesintomotion,thentakingaruffledpinkdressfromtherackinsideawhitewardrobeandholdingittoherface.Shepickedupapaleyellowonesienext,thenastuffedbunny,allthewhile
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withtearsstreaming.Mackdisconnectedthecall
andwenttohiswife.“Connorthinkshecanmakethearrangementsfortomorrow.”Hergazeshotup.“That
soon?”“Soon?”hesaid.“Itfeels
asifwe’vebeenwaitingforever.”“You’reright,butanhour
agowedidn’tthinkitwaspossible.Nowwehavetobe
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readybytomorrow.”Macklookedaroundthe
perfectnursery.“Ithinkwehaveprettymucheverythingweneed.”“ButIneedtocall
everyone.We’llwanttohavethefamilyheretomeether,”shesaidexcitedly.Thenherfacefell.“Ormaybenot.”Mackknewexactlywhat
shewasthinking.“Itwon’tbelikelasttime,Suze.”No
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matterwhathehadtodo,hewouldmakesureofthat.Thistimetheywouldbringababyhome.“StillIthinkwe’dbetter
waitbeforeplanninganything,”shesaid,herapprehensionplain.Herexpressionhadlosta
littleofitsspark.Mackcouldunderstandthat.Hisownstomachwasinturmoil.Ifitwaspossibleforhopeand
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dreadtocoexist,that’swhatwasgoingoninsidehimrightnow.Andifhefeltthisway,itwouldbequadrupledforSusie.Please,God,letitworkout
thistime,heprayedsilently.SincehiscommunicationswithGodwereprettyrare,hewastemptedtocallNellandgetheronthecase,butthey’djustagreedtokeepthisnewstothemselvesalittlelonger.
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Hopefullyhisheartfeltpleawouldbeenoughjustthisonce.
***
SamwatchedwarilyasCarriewanderedaroundhislivingroom,straighteningthis,examiningthat.Shewasclearlyonedge,thoughhehadnoideawhy.She’dalreadytoldhimshe’dsent
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MarcReynoldsonhiswayacouplehoursearlier,sothatwasbehindher.Wasshehavingsecondthoughtsalready?“Bobby’sinschool?”she
askedeventually.“Heleftacoupleofhours
ago,”Samsaid.Surelyshealreadyknewthat,givenitwasmidmorning.“Thenwe’realone?”Suddenlyheunderstood
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hernerves.Theywerealonewithnolikelyinterruptions.“Wearealone,”hesaid,walkingacrosstheroomtojoinher.“Andyoudon’thavetobe
atworkrightaway?”“Nottillmuch,much
later,”heconfirmed.“You?”“IfIspendanotherminute
goingoverthesamepapersforthehundredthtimeorcheckingthesupplies,Imight
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losemymind,”sheadmitted.“I’masreadytoopenasI’mgoingtobe.”“Interesting,”hesaid,
runninghisfingeralongthecurveofherjaw.“Herewebothare,allalone,atlooseends.Whatdoyousupposeweshoulddo?”Hergazeheldhis.“Ifyou
don’tcomeupwithanideaprettydarnquickly,you’renotthemanIthoughtyou
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were.”Samlaughedandscooped
herintohisarms,butinsteadofheadingforabedroom,hesatonthesofa,Carriesnuggledinhislap.Sheregardedhimwith
obviousdisappointment.“Seriously?”“Iamnotgoingtodrag
youofftomyroomtomakelovefortheveryfirsttimejustbecausewebothhave
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sometimetokill,”hesaid.“That’snowaytotreatalady.”“Areyousure?Theidea
holdsalotofappealtome.IthoughtyouwereasfrustratedasIam.”“Believeme,I’mplenty
frustrated,”Samsaidwithheartfeltemotion.Infact,ifshekeptwigglingaround,shewasgoingtodiscoverjusthowreadyhewastotakethe
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nextstep.“I’mtryingtoplayfair.You’renotthekindofwomanamanjustravisheswithoutthinkingoftheconsequences.”Hereyesnarrowed.“Are
wetalkingaboutcondoms?”Thistimeherexpression
wassofilledwithdisbeliefthatSamresistedthedesiretolaugh.“No,we’reokayonthecondomfront.”“Thenwhat
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consequences?”“Carrie,whatdoessleeping
withmemeantoyou?”“Itmeanswhatitwouldto
anywoman,”shesaidimpatiently,“thatwe’regettingcloser,ascloseastwopeoplecanbe.And,believeme,I’mawarethatitdoesn’talwaysmeanthesamethingtomen.Ilearnedthatthehardwayfromtheverymanwhotriedtoenticemebackinto
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hislifeearlierthismorning.”“Andthat’swhyIwantto
besureyouandIareonthesamepagebeforewetakethatstep.ItwouldkillmetothinkthatI’dhurtyouthewayMarcReynoldsdid.”“Youcouldn’tpossiblydo
that,unlessyou’vebeensecretlyseeingsomemodelIdon’tknowabout.”“You’retheonlywoman
I’mseeing,theonlywomanI
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wantinmylife,”hesaidwithcompletesincerity.“Thenyou’remakingthisa
lotmorecomplicatedthanitneedstobe,”shesaid.Samknewwhathewas
abouttosaywaslikelygoingtogetthissexy,wonderfulwomannotonlyoutofhisarms,butlikelyoutthedoor.Still,hehadtobehonestwithher.Cardsonthetable,andallthat.
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“IfIwereremotelyreadytotakethenextstep,”hesaid.“Youmeansex?”“Imeanmarriage.”Hereyeswidened.“When
didmarriageenterintothis?”“Rightnow,oratleastit
shouldhave.You’rethekindofwomanwhodeservestowalkdowntheaisleinagorgeouswhitegownwithyourwholefamilylookingon.Iwantthatforyou.”
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“Okay,”shesaidslowly.“But?”“I’mnotsureIcanbethe
guywho’swaitingforyouatthefrontofthechapel.”Shewasonherfeetina
heartbeat,justashe’dpredicted,lookinggloriousinheranger.“HaveIsaidonesingle
wordaboutmarriage?HaveIhintedthatIneedaringonmyfinger?Orthatyou’dbe
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themanIwanttoputitthere?No,Ihavenot!I’mnomorereadyforthatthanyouare.”Shestartedtopace.“How
couldIhavedonethistwice?”sheaskedofnooneinparticular.“Donewhattwice?”Sam
asked,confused.“Falleninlovewitha
completeidiot.”Whenhestaredatherin
shock,shewavedhimoff
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withanimpatientgesture.“Oh,don’tgogettingyourselfallworkedup.Imightloveyou,butI’mnotsomeclingingvinewhoneedsheartsandflowersandromanceeveryminuteofeveryday.Ineedapartnerwhovaluesme.IneedamanwhowantswhatIwant,whoknowstheimportanceoffamily.Ithoughtthatmightbeyou.Maybeyou’renotthe
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onewho’sanidiot.Maybeit’sme,afterall.”“Youarenotanidiot,”
Samsaidforcefully.“Thejury’sprobablystilloutonme.I’mjusttryingtodotherightthing.”“Yeah,youwanttobefair.
Youdon’twanttotakeadvantageofmeunderfalsepretenses.Igetit.You’renoble.”Shemadeitsoundasifthat
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wastheworstthingintheworldhecouldpossiblybe.Since,atthemoment,itwaskeepingheroutofhisbed,wheretheybothwantedtobe,maybeshewasright.Chinheldhigh,sheleveled
alookathim.“Callmewhenyoudecideyou’rereadytotakethenextstep.Ifyou’revery,verylucky,maybeI’llstillbeavailable.”Andthenshewasgone,
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justasSamhadalsopredicted.He’ddonetherightthingjustnow.Heknewinhisheartthathehad.He’dbeenhonest.Sowhydiditfeelasifit
hadcosthimeverythinghe’deverwanted?
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23
Carrieopenedherkitchencupboards,whichwerefilledwithfamilycastoffs,andtriedtochooseadishshewasn’toverlyfondof,somethingdispensable,somethingshewouldn’tregretsmashingintoathousandpieces.
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Hergazefellonagravyboat.Whoneededagravyboat?Nother,sinceshehadn’tcookedamealrequiringgravyevenonceinherentirelife.GravywasNell’sdomain,aswerethemashedpotatoesandeverythingelsethattastedbetterwhencoveredwithrich,flavorfulgravy.HerattempttomakegravyunderNell’stutelagehadn’tgone
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allthatwell.Shedoubtedshe’drepeatit.Sheyankedthepieceoff
theshelfandtestedtheweightinherhand,delightedtodiscoveritwasn’tsomekindofdelicateporcelain,butrathersomethingsubstantialthatwouldmakeasatisfyingcrashagainstthewall.Toobadshecouldn’ttossitstraightatSam’shardhead.Wasn’titenoughthatshe’d
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hadtodealwithMarcagainfirstthingthismorningandsendhimonhisway?HadshereallyneededSamgoingallnobleonherandrefusingtosleepwithherbecausehewasn’treadyformarriage,wasn’tsureheeverwouldbe?Really?Whatmanrefused
whenawillingwomanwasstretchedacrosshislap?Itwasn’tasifhe’dbeen
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immunetoher,either.Thatwouldhaveopenedawholeotherkettleoffish,butsheknewhewantedherjustasbadlyasshe’dwantedhim.There’dbeennomistakingtheevidenceofthat.So,hewasanidiotora
saint.Becauseitsuitedhermood,shewasgoingwithidiot!Sayingamentalgoodbyetothegravyboat,shehurleditatthewall,
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whereitshatteredsothoroughly,gavehersuchsatisfactionthatshegrabbedblindlyforsomethingelse,anythingelsethatmightgetthisfitoftemperoutofhersystem.Shepulledbackherarmto
throwasillysouvenirmugfromParis—twobirdswithonemug,sotospeak,sinceMarchadboughtthestupidthingforher—whenshe
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heardhermom’svoice.“Sothisiswhyyoudidn’t
answerthedoorwhenIknocked,”Abbysaid,lookingattheshardsofpotteryonthefloorandthemugstillgrippedtightlyinCarrie’shand.“Havingabadday?”Abbypluckedthemugout
ofdanger,thenwalkedtothepotofcoffeethatwasstillwarmonthekitchencounterandfilledthemug.“Thinkof
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thisasgivingitonelastusefulmomentbeforeyoudestroyit,”shesaid.Carriestudiedhermother
withasuspiciousgaze.“Mom,whatareyoudoinghere?Idon’timagineyoucametorescuemydishes.”“IheardMarcwasintown.
Jesssaidyouhadquitethemeetingattheinn.Ithoughtyoumightneedtotalk.”Carriewavedofftheentire
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confrontationwithMarc.“Itdoesn’tmatter.Hedoesn’tmatter.”“Goodtoknow,”Abby
saidwithsatisfaction,studyingCarrieovertherimofthemugasshetookaleisurelysipofcoffee.“So,”sheaskedeventually,“theshatteredpotteryhasnothingtodowithMarc?”“Nope.”“Nomoreunresolved
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feelings,nomorelongingforwhatyouoncehad?”Carrieactuallyshuddered.
“Notevenatinybit.”“I’mgladtohearit,”Abby
said.“Hewasn’tworthyofyou.”ShestudiedCarrieforanotherminute,thensaidoh-so-innocently,“So,thismustbeaboutSam.”Carriefrowned.“Why
mustitbeaboutSam?Whydoesithavetobeaboutany
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man?MaybeI’mjusthavingalousyday.MaybeIfailedaninspectionattheday-carecenter.MaybeGrandpaMickmademecrazierthanusual.”Hermothermadeavaliant
efforttohideasmile,butfailedmiserably.“Okay,that’sfairenough.Ijumpedtoaconclusion.I’llrephrase.Whatbroughtonthismood?”Carriedidn’tappreciatethe
oh-so-patient,patronizing
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tone,especiallysincetheybothknewwhatherresponsewasgoingtobe.“Sam,ofcourse.”Beforehermomcouldgloat,sheadded,“ButIdon’twantittobeaboutSam.Idon’twantittobeaboutmefallingforyetanothermanI’veapparentlybeenreadingallwrong.Marcaccusedmeofhavingalittleschoolgirlcrushonhim,somethingofnoconsequence.Maybe
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that’sallitiswithSam,too.Hecertainlydoesn’tseeitgoinganywhere.”“Haveyoustoppedto
considerthepossibilitythathe’sscared?Thisisamanwho,byhisownadmission,neverreallythoughtmuchaboutsettlingdown,muchlesshavingafamily.Now,outoftheblue,he’sadad.And,alsooutoftheblue,hediscovershehasfeelingsfor
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you.That’salotforacarefreeguytotrytoabsorbinamatterofafewmonths.”“I’mnottryingtorushhim
downtheaisle,forheaven’ssake.Ijustwanttosleepwithhim.”Abbydidn’teventryto
containherlaughatthat.“Toomuchinformation,sweetie.NotthatI’measilyshocked.We’veallseenthiscoming.Andweallknow
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thatyouhaveverylittlepatience.Youwantwhatyouwantwhenyouwantit.Iblameyourgrandfatherforthat.Healwayssawthatyouandyoursistergoteverythingyoueveraskedfor.I’msureifyouweretotellhimyouwanttojumpintobedwithSam,he’ddohislevelbesttomakethathappen,too.”“Mom!”Carrieprotested,
thoughshe,too,laughed.“He
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probablywould,wouldn’the?”“Itmightmakehimalittle
crazy,becauseyouareoneofhisinnocentlittleangels,butyes,heprobablywould.Doyouwantthat?”“Heavens,no!”shesaid
fervently.“IfGrandpaMickinterferes,itwouldprobablysendSampacking.”“Andyoudon’twant
that?”
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“No,ofcoursenot.Idon’twantmarriage,either.Notrightaway,anyway.”“Butyouareinlovewith
Sam?Andyouseemarriagetohiminyourfuture?”Carriesighed.“I’mscared
to,”sheadmitted.“Hemightneverchangehismind.”“Oh,Ithinkhewill,once
hisnerveshaveachancetosettle.”“Sowe’rebackto
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patience,”Carriesaid,resigned.“AndthatopenheartNell
talksaboutsomuch.”AbbysethermuginthesinkandpulledCarrieintoanembrace.“Focusontheday-carecenterfornow.We’regoingtocelebratethatatSundaydinner.Nellhasallyourfavoritesonthemenu.Enjoyyourbigmoment.Focusonthegrandopening
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that’scomingupinjustafewmoreweeks.Everythingelsewillfallintoplace.”“Promise?”Carriesaid
wistfully.O’Brienpromiseswerealwayskept.“Asmuchasit’sinmy
power,”Abbysaid,thensmiled.“Andwealwayshaveyourgrandfatherinreserveforbackup.”Carriechuckled,justasher
momhadintended.Shehad
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towonder,though—ifitcamerightdowntoit,she’dresorttowhateverdeviousmeanswerenecessarytoconvinceSamthefuturewasn’tasscaryashewasimaginingittobe...aslongastheyfacedittogether.
***
SamspenttherestofthemorningafterCarrie’s
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departurepacingaroundhishouseandtryingtoconvincehimselfhe’ddonetherightthing.Somehow,though,hecouldn’tshakethelookonherfaceasshe’dleft,asifhe’dturnedhisbackonsomethingimportant.Notjustsex,butonthetwoofthem.Sincethehousewasn’tbig
enoughtocontainhisfrustratedpacing,hesteppedoutsidejustintimeforthe
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arrivalofthemailcarrier,whohandedhimanexpressenvelope.Glancingatthereturnaddress,hesawitwasfromRobert’sparents.Insidetherewasasealed
envelopeherecognizedatonceasbeingLaurel’sfavoritelavenderstationary.AnotefromRobert’smotherhadbeenpaper-clippedtoit.
DearSam,
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Ifoundthisaddressedtoyouwhenwewerecleaning out thehouse. I’m sorry Ididn’t spot it sooner,but I wanted to get ittoyouasquicklyas Icould. IhopeyouandBobby are doingwellandthatwecanallgettogether soon. Weloved the picturesfrom the birthday
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party. Thanks somuchfordoingthat.Sincerely,Delores
Sam’shandtrembledasheheldtheenvelopefromhissister.Whyhadshetuckeditawaysomewhereandnevermailedit?Hesighed.Onlyonewaytofindout.Hetoreopentheenvelope
andremovedtwosheetsoffaintlyscentedstationary.
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MydearestSam,As I write this, I’mhoping you’ll neverreadit,but ifyouare,then something hashappened to me andRobert.Iknowitmustbe hard for you toimagine that I hadenough foresight toprepare for theworst,but that’s whatmaturity andhavinga
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family does to acarefree spirit likemine.I suspect you’re
pretty angry withRobert and me forpicking you asBobby’sguardian,buthe and I agreed thatyou’re the absolutebest choice. I think Iknow you even betterthan you know
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yourself. For yearsyou’ve been runningfrom the past—ourpast—but that’s noway to findwhat youtrulyneed.Todo thatyou need to falldeeply in love andcreate the kind offamily we never had.I’ve done that withRobert andour boy. Ithink Bobby will be
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that blessing in yourlife,too.You can do this,
Sam. You’re a betterman than our dad.You’re a forever guy.IfIdidn’tbelievethatwith my whole heart,I’d have let Robert’sparents take Bobby.But our son needsexactly what you canprovide ifyoubelieve
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in yourself. You’llgive him a home andstability—I’ll bet youalready have, haven’tyou?—andyou’llgivehim the taste ofadventure every littleboy needs to thrive,too.We love you, Sam.
We’re trusting youwiththemostvaluablepartofus.Iknowyou
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won’t let us down.Don’t let yourselfdown,either,andgrabevery ounce ofhappiness that’s outthereforyourself.Love, Laurel andRobert
Thepages,dampenedwithSam’stears,flutteredtotheground.Hethoughtofhissisterandthefaithshehadin
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him,ofCarrieandthetrustshe’dplacedinhim.AndhethoughtofBobby,whobelievedthatSamcouldmakeeverythinginhislifeokay.“Carriewasright,”he
murmured.“Iamanidiot.”Andattheveryfirst
opportunity,hewasgoingtoclaimthehappinessthatjustafewshorthoursagohehadn’tfelthedeserved.Hejustprayedhewasn’ttoolate.
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***
SusiewasclingingsotightlytoMack’shand,she’dalmostcutoffthecirculation.“What’stakingsolong?”
sheaskedforwhathadtobethetenthtime.“It’snotasifwe’repicking
upproduceatafarmstand,”Macksoothed.“I’msurethere’salotofpaperworkandConnor’sprobablydoing
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everythinghecantomakesurewe’reprotected.”Theyweresittingina
conferenceroomatConnor’soldlawofficesinBaltimore,waitingforthemomentwhentheywouldfinallyholdtheirbaby.“Doyousupposewe’ll
havetoseethemom?”Susieasked.“Doyouwantto?”“IdoandIdon’t.Iwantto
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thankherfordoingthis,forgivingusthisamazinggift.ThenIthinkaboutalltheheartacheandIwanttosnatchthehairrightoffherhead.”Mackknewshewasn’t
entirelyjoking.Hewasprettymuchfilledwithmixedemotions,too.“Let’sjustfocusonthegratitude,”hesuggested.Justthenthedooropened
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andConnorwalkedin,ababygirl—theirbabygirl—cradledinhisarms.“Susie,Mack,I’dlikeyou
tomeetyourdaughter.Hermom’sgivenheraname,butyou’refreetochangeit.I’mthinkingyoumightnotwantto.”Mackwatchedashiswife
tookahesitantstepforward,thenreachedoutandgentlybrushedafingeralongthe
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baby’scheek.TearswerestreamingdownSusie’sface.Hisowneyeswerewellingup—atthisincredible,long-awaitedmomentandatthejoyshininginSusie’seyesrightalongwiththosetears.Susieheldoutherarmsand
Connorcarefullyplacedthebabyintothem.“I’mshaking,”Susiewhispered.“You’redoingfine,”
Connorassuredher.Hiseyes
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lookedalittledamp,too.“Whatdidthemomname
her?”Susieasked.“Josephine,”Connorsaid.
“She’sbeencallingherJo.”Susie’sgazeliftedin
shock.“Mymom’sname?”Connornodded.“Ithinkit’sperfect,”Mack
said.“Whatdoyouthink,Suze?”Blinkingbacktears,she
lookedintohiseyes.“Ithink
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thiswasmeanttobe,don’tyou?”Histhroattightenedatthe
purejoyonherface.“Ithinkit’sthemiraclewe’veallbeenprayingfor.”HecastaquicklookinConnor’sdirection.“Itis,isn’tit?”“It’sasairtightasIcan
possiblymakeit,”Connorpromised.“She’syours.”Mackmovedtohiswife’s
sideandgazeddownintothat
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sweet,preciouslittlefacethathadcaptivatedhimfromtheinstanthe’dseteyesonhertinypicture.Heputanarmaroundhiswife,thentuckedhisotherhandbeneaththebaby,feelingtheweightofher,closeenoughnowtodrawinthatbabysmellthatwomenalwaysgrewsonostalgicabout.Susielookedupintohiseyes,thendownintothefaceoftheir
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daughter.“Jo,I’myourmomandthis
isyourdad.We’regoingtoloveyousomuchit’llprobablymakeyoucrazy,butyouareourgiftfromGod,andwe’llneverforgetthat.”“Never,”Macksaid,his
heartsuddenlysofullhecouldn’thelpwonderinghowhe’deverthoughttheirlifewouldbecompletewithoutthistinylittleprincessinhis
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wife’sarms.Now,atlonglast,theyhad
theirfamily.
***
OnSunday,SamonceagainfoundhimselfatthebigfamilydinneratMickO’Brien’s,thoughthistimeitwasMackwho’dinsistedhecome.“We’recelebratingthe
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openingofCarrie’sday-carecenter.Youshouldbethere,”Mackhadsaid.“Idon’tcarewhatsortofdisagreementthetwoofyouhad.Today’sadayforshowingthatwesupporther.”“Shouldn’tthefocusbeon
youandSusieandyournewbaby?”Samhadasked.ThoughhewaseagertomakethingsrightwithCarrie,hewasn’tsurethiswasthe
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occasionforit.“Thiswillbeherintroductiontothefamily,right?”Thebemusedlookofanew
dadpassedacrossMack’sface.“Believeme,everybodyinthefamilyhasbeenbythehouseatleastoncetogetapeekather.Thechristeningiscomingupinacoupleofmonths,oncewe’recertaintheadoptionisgoingtobefinalized.Iimagineshe’s
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goingtogetpassedaroundtoeveryfemalepresentonSunday,butthedayisreallyaboutCarrie.Iknowyoucareabouther.Betheretosharethiswithher.”Samhadbeenjust
desperateenoughforaglimpseofCarrietoagree.She’dbeensurprisinglyelusiveeversinceshe’dwalkedoutofhishouseafewdaysearlier.Noquestionthat
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she’dbeendeliberatelyavoidinghim.Whatelsehadheexpectedsincehe’dallbuttoldherthathedidn’tintendtogetinvolvedinanythingserious.Nowthathe’dcometohis
senses,inpartbecauseofhissister’sreassurancesfrombeyondthegrave,hewasreadytotakeitallback.HewantedCarrietoknowthathewascrazyinlovewithher.
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Bobbyclearlyadoredher,too.Infact,thesecondthey’darrivedatMick’sandhe’dspottedCarrieintheyard,he’dgonerunningofftothrowhisarmsaroundher.She’dglancedSam’sway,then,justasquickly,lookedaway.Withhercheekspink,herhairtousledandkidsswarmingaroundher,shewaseverythingtheperfectmothershouldbe,notathing
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intheworldlikethesad,brokenwomanwithwhomhe’dgrownup.Howhadheeverthought
hecouldturnawayfromthat,heaskedhimself.Evenasix-year-oldhadsenseenoughtogravitatestraighttoher.Ashissisterhadessentiallytoldhim,itwastimeforhimtostartrunningtowardsomething,ratherthanawayfromit.Peoplewholoved
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deeplygothurt.Theysufferedterriblelosses.Itwasunavoidable.Butlovingdeeplywastheonlywaytotrulylive.Gatheringuphiscourage
andallthestrengththatcamefromknowingthiswastherightthingtodo—forhimandforBobby—Samwalkedslowlyacrosstheyard.HewashalfwaytoCarrie,whenshenoticedhisapproach.
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Gazeslocked,sheextricatedherselffromthekidsandtookahalfstepinhisdirection,thenstoppedandwaited.Clearly,shewasleavingwhateverhappenednextuptohim.Hegotthat.He’drebuffedhertoomanytimesbefore.“Hi,”hesaidinanelywhen
hereachedher.Asmiletuggedatherlips.
“Hi.”
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“I’msorry.”“For?”“Beinganidiot.”“Ihaveitongood
authority,you’renotthefirstmantoexcelatit.”“Howareyouatforgiving
itandmovingon?”“I’mnotsure,”shesaid.“I
haven’tbeentestedthatoften.”“Iloveyou,Carrie.”Shockregisteredinher
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eyes.Clearlyshehadn’texpectedthewordstocomeouthere,maybeever.“Seriously?”“Don’ttellmeI’vefinally
surprisedyou.”“Yousaidsomethingabout
movingon.Thelovethingisprettymuchoutoftheblue.”Heheldhergaze.“Isit?”“Foryou,Imeant.Notfor
me.Isawthehandwritingonthewallforusweeksago.”
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“Yeah,aboutthathandwriting.IttookmeawhiletotranslateitintoalanguageIcouldunderstand.”“English?”“No,thelanguageofthe
heart.I’lladmitIhadalittlehelp.”“From?”Ahorrifiedlook
crossedherface.“Pleasetellmemygrandfatherdidn’thaveanythingtodowiththis?”
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“No.Ihadaletterfrommysister.”Hereyeswidened.
“Seriously?”“ApparentlyRobert’s
parentsfounditastheywerecleaningoutthehouse.ShetoldmewhyshewantedBobbytobewithme.ShehadsomuchfaiththatIcouldgetthisright,andsheencouragedmetotakeachanceonhappinesswhenIfoundit,so
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that’swhatI’mdoing.I’mgoingforbrokehere.I’mwillingtochooseloveoverfear.”“Fear?”“ThatIcouldloseyou.”Shetuckedherhandinto
his.“I’mnotgoinganywhere,Sam.”Henodded,choosingto
havefaith.Heswallowedhard.“Okay,then.Ifyou’renotafraidtotakeachanceon
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aguywhoneverimaginedhe’dsettledowninoneplacewithawifeandahousefulofkids,thenI’mnotafraidofthatanymore,either.”Shesearchedhisface.
“You’resure,Sam?Reallysure?Becauseoncewegoinsideandpeoplefindoutwe’retogether,therewillbehelltopayifyoudecidelatertobailonme.”“Nobailing,”heswore.
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“Notonmyside.”Afull-fledgedsmilebroke
acrossherfacethen.“Notonmine,either.”“ThenIguessit’ssafeto
tellBobby,yourparentsandyourgrandfather,”hesaid,pullingherintohisarms,thenmurmuringagainstherlips,“Maybenotrightthisminute,though.”Butbythetimehe’dkissed
herthoroughlyinfrontof
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whatgrewtobeacheeringthrongofO’Briens,hefiguredtherewasnoneedtomakeanysortofannouncement.Thenewsthathe’dcometohissenseswasclearlyout!Bobbydancedaround
them,hisexcitementcontagious.“We’regettingmarried,”heannouncedtoanyonewho’dlisten.“Hey,pal,thatnewsis
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supposedtocomefrommeandCarrie,”Samtoldhim,thoughhecouldn’thelpbeinggratefulforthehelpinmakingthatfinalleap.AbbyandTracewere
quicktooffertheircongratulations,thenMickO’Brienheadedtheirway.Hehuggedhisgranddaughter,thengaveSamaheartyslapontheback.“Welcometothefamily,son!”
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“Thankyou,sir.You’vesetthebarforthisfamilyprettyhigh.I’lldomybesttodeservetobeapartofit.”“Youjustlovemygirlhere
withyourwholeheartandyou’llhavedoneeverythingI’veeveraskedofanyone.”Micklookedaround,abeamingsmileonhisface.“Masentmeoutheretogetallyourhooligansinsideandaroundthetable.Dinner’s
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ready.Waittillshehearsthisnews.Iimagineshe’llberaidingmyfancywinecellarformybestchampagne.”HecastameaningfullooktowardMack,Susieandtheirbabygirl.“O’Brienshavealottocelebratetodayandmoreblessingsthananymanhasarighttoaskfor.”“Amentothat,”Megan
said,linkingherarmthroughhis.
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AsSam,CarrieandBobbyjoinedtheothersheadinginside,SamstoppedforamomenttolookintoCarrie’seyes.Heneededtobesuresheunderstoodexactlyhowhewasfeeling.“Justsoyouknow,
marriagewaspartofthatwholespeechofmineawhileago,evenifBobbykindofstolemythunderbygettingtheactualwordsoutbeforeI
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could.Iloveyou,Carrie.”“Iloveyou,too,withall
myheart.”ShereachedforBobby’shand,too,andwinkedathim.“We’regettingmarried!”“Awesome!”Bobby
declared.SamcaughtCarrie’sgaze
andheldit.“Itisprettydarnawesome.”Infact,hecouldn’tthinkof
asinglethingtotopit.Then
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heglancedatSusieandMackstaringdownintothefaceoftheirdaughter,theirexpressionsfilledwithawe.Except,perhaps,that,Samthought.Ababywouldcompletethings.Evenasthethoughtstruck,
hewaitedforpanictofollow.Whenitdidn’tcome,whentheonlythingstirringinsidehimwasanticipation,heknewalltheadventureshe’d
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everneedwererighthere.
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Epilogue
MicksatattheheadofthemassivetableinhisdiningroomforSundaydinnerandlookedaroundwithsatisfaction.Smallertableshadbeenaddedhereandthere,squeezedintocorners,forhisgrandchildren.So
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manyleaveshadbeenaddedtothemaintable,itactuallystuckoutoftheroomandintothefoyer.Evenso,hecouldseeeveryonewhomatteredtohiminthislife.Meganwasrightnextto
him.Whenitcametohisgreatestblessings,shewasrightupthere.Hewasthankfuleverydaythatthey’dmadetheirpeace.Theirmarriagewasonamoresolid
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foundationtodaythanithadbeenatanytimesincethey’dfirstwedsomanyyearsago.Mawasattheoppositeend
ofthetable,reunitedwithDillon,theIrishmanwho’dbeenherfirstloveandwho’dcomebackintoherlifejustafewyearsago,atimelyifunexpectedreunionthatallowedthemtoliveouttheirdaystogether.Inbetween,hisbrothers
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andtheirspousesandtheirgrownchildren,allmarriednow.Hisownchildrenwerethere,too,mostofthemparentsthemselvesnow.Abby’stwinswerethefirstofhisgrandchildrentomarryandCaitlynhadevengivenhimhisfirstgreat-grandchild,littleJacksonMcIlroy.ToobadaboutthatScottishheritage,butMickcouldlivewithitaslongashisgirlwas
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happy.Hehadafeelingitwouldn’tbelongbeforeCaitlyn’ssister,Carrie,addedyetanotherbabytothemix.SheandSamhadthelookoftwopeoplewhocouldn’twaittogetstartedonaddingtotheirfamily.Hewasblessed,tobesure!
Everyonealwaysthoughtthatthistownthathe’ddesignedandbuiltfromscratch,buttingheadswithhis
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brothersalltheway,washisprideandjoy.Tobesure,ChesapeakeShoreswasthecrowningachievementofhiscareer.Itwasacommunitythewayacommunitywasmeanttobe,filledwithgoodpeoplewhocaredaboutoneanother.Butthecrowning
achievementofhislifewasrighthereinthisroom,astrongfamilywithasolid
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foundationofvaluesandlove.They’dmadetheirshareofmistakes,himmostofall—notthathe’deveradmititaloud—butthey’dlearnedfromthosemistakes.Theywerestrongerforhavingweatheredtoughtimes.Theywerestrongerforhavingeachother.Asifshesensedhis
thoughts,Meganreachedoverandtookhishandin
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hers.Heliftedtheirclaspedhandsandbrushedakissacrossherknuckles.“It’salittleoverwhelming
sometimes,isn’tit?”shesaidquietly.“Lookingaroundandseeingthisfamilygatheredtogether,thinkingofeverythingwe’vebeenthrough.”“Itis,indeed,”Micksaid.Formostmenthesight
wouldhavebeensatisfaction
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enough,evidenceofalifewell-lived,buthisglancestrayedtothelittleonesatthosetablesMahadtuckedintocornersoftheroom.TheywerethefutureoftheO’Briens,anduntiltheyweregrownandsettled,hisworkherewasfarfromdone.Megansmiled.“Youknow,
Mick,therearealwaysgoingtobemoreO’Brienbabiesinthisworld,”shesaid,asif
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oncemoreshe’dbeenreadinghismind.“Wecan’tstickaroundtoguidethemall.Soonerorlaterwe’lljusthavetotrustthatthelessonsyou’vepassedon,thevaluesyourmothertaughtyouandyourbrothersareintheirhands.”Micknodded,suddenly
awareofhisownmortality.Hesqueezedhiswife’shand.“Butnotjustyet,”hesaid
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softly.“Notjustyet.”
*****
KeepreadingforanexcerptfromDOGWOODHILLby
SherrylWoods.
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“SherrylWoodswritesemotionallysatisfyingnovelsaboutfamily,
friendshipandhome.Trulyfeel-greatreads!”
—#1NewYorkTimesbestsellingauthorDebbie
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Macomber
Lookingformoreincrediblestoriesfrom#1NewYorkTimesbestsellingauthorSherrylWoods?Returnto
ChesapeakeShoresforalittleholidaymagicinthis
heartwarmingChristmastale:TheChristmasBouquet
(November2015)
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CatchupwiththeO’Brien
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familyinChesapeakeShores,wherestoriesoffriendship,familyandloveawait—youmayneverwanttoleave.Collectthecompleteseries
today!
TheInnatEaglePointFlowersonMainHarborLights
AChesapeakeShoresChristmas
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DriftwoodCottageMoonlightCoveBeachLane
AnO’BrienFamilyChristmas
TheSummerGardenASeasideChristmas
DogwoodHillWillowBrookRoad
“Woods’samazinggraspofhumannatureandthe
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emotionsthatliedeepwithinusmakethisstory
universal.”—RTBookReviewsonDriftwoodCottage
TakeatriptoSerenity,SouthCarolina,wheretheSweetMagnoliasarealwaysinseasonandheartwarmingromanceisonlyeverjusta
stone’sthrowaway:
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StealingHomeASliceofHeavenFeelsLikeFamilyWelcometoSerenityHomeinCarolinaSweetTeaatSunriseHoneysuckleSummerMidnightPromisesCatchingFireflies
WhereAzaleasBloomSwanPoint
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“Woodsemployshersignatureelements—theSouthernsmall-town
atmosphere,thesupportivenetworkoffriendsand
family,andtheheartwarmingromance—to
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DogwoodHillbySherrylWoods
1
StandingoutsideChesapeakeShoresHighSchoolonhisfirstvisittothisquaintsmalltownontheChesapeakeBay,
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Aidanconcludedhe’dneverseenamorebeautifulsightinhislife.Notthehillsidecovered
withaforestoffloweringpinkandwhitedogwoodtrees,thoughthatwasspectacularandunexpectedinthemiddleoftown.Notthenearbybay,whichwassparklinginthespringsun,thoughitmadehimyearntogofishingdespitethefactit
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wassomethinghe’ddoneonlyoncebeforeinhislife.Noteventhestate-of-the-artfootballstadiumwithitspro-levelelectronicscoreboard,itslushgrassandimpressivepermanentbleachers,allofwhichshouldhaveknockedhissocksoffastheschool’sprospectivecoach.Nope,whatcaughthiseye
wastheslenderwomanwithherblondhairtousled,her
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laughcarryingonthebreezeasshechasedapuppythatwastryingvaliantlytoherdaflockofunhappyCanadageese.Justthenthedog,some
sortofblack,whiteandbrownAussieshepherdmixfromthelooksofhim,spottedAidan,boundedoverandtriedtocorralhimintojoiningthegeeseinthenicetightgrouphewasapparently
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envisioninginhisinstinctivepuppybrain.Withablackpatchoffuraroundoneeye,heboreastrikingresemblancetoapirate,causingAidan’ssmiletospread.“Stopit!Archie,that’s
enough,”thewomancommanded,fightinghard,butunsuccessfully,toswallowanotherlaugh.“Sit.Benice.”
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Archieobedientlysat,tonguelolling,andgaveAidanahopefullook.“I’msosorry,”shesaid.
“Hegotawayfromme.”“Noproblem,”Aidan
replied.“Actuallyitisaproblem.
Thetownhasverystrictleashlaws,”sheexplainedasshesnappedArchie’sleashtohiscollar,“exceptforthedogparkontheothersideofthe
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hill.It’sfencedin,sothedogsareallowedtorunfree,butArchieherespottedthegeese,instinctkickedinandthesecondsomeoneopenedthegate,hetookoffonamissiontoroundthemup.Hethinksit’shisjob.”“He’sverygoodatit.
WheredoIfitin?Notbeingagoose,thatis.”Whenshesmiled,
amusementsettingoffsparks
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inherdeepblueeyes,itquitesimplytookhisbreathaway.“Oh,hethinksanything
thatmovesisfairgame,”sheconfided.“He’sverydiligent.”Aidan,who’dneverowned
apet,regardedthedogwarily.“Whathappensnow?IfImove,doeshetrytosnagmebythehandtodragmeback?”“Ithinkyou’resafeforthe
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moment,thoughifyouhappentohaveadogtreatinyourpocket,you’llmakeafriendforlife.”“Sorry.Notreats.”Asifheunderstood,Archie
staredathimdolefully,theninchedcloser,finallybuttingAidan’shand.“He’lltakeagoodhead
rub,instead,”shetoldhim.“Don’tworry.Hereallyisharmless.I’veonlyhadhim
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foracoupleofweeks,buthe’sbeenarealgentleman.Hisownerhadtogivehimupbecausehewastooenergeticforher,sohe’slookingforanewpersonandanewpurpose.”“Thusthegeese,”Aidan
guessed.“Exactly.”“Areyouhisnewperson?”“Oh,no,”shesaidatonce.
“Ialreadyhavetwodogsand
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acat,noneofwhichIintendedtohave,butpeopleknowItakeinstraysandtrytofindnewhomesforthem.Whensomethinglikethiscomesup,theybringtheirpetstome.Cordelia’sgrandchildrenmeantwellwhentheygaveherapetforherbirthday,buttheydidn’treallythinkaboutherbeingclosetoeighty.Ithappensalot.Peoplethinktheelderly
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needcompanionship,buttheyreallyhavenoideawhichanimalmightbebestsuitedforthejob.”“Andyoudo?”“I’dliketothinkso.
Cordelianowhasabeautifulcatwhoseownerdied.Fluffysitsinherlapandpurrs.They’rebothcontentwiththeirnewarrangement.”“Whataboutthethree
animalsstillwithyou?”he
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asked,sensingthatshewasawomanforwhomcompassionprobablyoverruledgoodsenseonmanyoccasions.“I’mafraidIgotattached,”
sheadmittedwitharuefulexpression.“I’mElizabethMarch,bytheway.MostpeoplecallmeLiz.IownPetStyleonMainStreetafewdoorsupthestreetfromSally’sCafé.IopenedjustbeforeChristmaslastyear.”
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Aidancouldn’tstopthegrinthatthreatened.“PetStyle?”herepeated.“Ihadnoideapetswerefashionconscious.”HeglancedpointedlyatArchieashespoke.Thedogwashappilysniffingabuttercup.Hisleathercollarlookedasifithadbeengivenagoodchewonmorethanoneoccasion.Theserviceable,butunremarkable,leashwas
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equallyworn.“They’renot,buttheir
ownerssureare,”Lizsaid.“You’dbeamazed.JustlastweekIsoldafancyrhinestone-studdeddesignerdogcollarfor$150.I’dexpectedtobestuckwithit,butthoughtIshouldgiveacoupleofhigh-enditemsatry.Sureenough,atouristgrabbeditupanhourafterIputitondisplay.”
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Aidanshookhisheadinastonishment.Onabeginningcoach’ssalary,he’dbeluckytobuydogfoodandpayvetbills.Thankfully,he’dspentfrugallyandinvestedwiselyduringhiscoupleofyearsasaprofootballplayer.WhenheglancedbackatLiz,shewasregardinghimspeculatively.“Youwouldn’t,byany
chance,belookingfora
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dog?”sheinquired,turningthosebrightblueeyesonhiminawaythatwouldprobablygetmostmentoagreetodojustaboutanythingsherequested.“He’suptodateonallhisshotsandhe’shousebroken.Bestofall,Archiealreadylikesyou.”Archiewas,indeed,
happilysprawledacrosshisfeet,apparentlyhavingconcludedthathewasno
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longergoingtobeallowedtorunfree,soAidanshouldn’tbeallowedtobudge,either.Hepromptlyperkedupatthementionofhisname.Forhalfaninstant,Aidanwasactuallytemptedtosayyes,ifonlytomakethiswomanhappy.Fortunately,givenhiscircumstances,commonsensekickedin.“You’reverygoodat
findingnewhomesforyour
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strays,aren’tyou?”hesaid.“Soitseems,”shesaid,
beaming.“Sorry.Notthistime.I
don’thaveroominmyapartmentforadogthissize,andifthosepawsaretheindicatorsthey’resupposedtobe,Archiehereisboundtogetbigger.Imaybemovingsoon,anyway.”“ToChesapeakeShores,
notaway,”shesaid,asifit
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wasafacthe’dalreadyrevealed.“You’regoingtobethenewfootballcoach.”Aidanjuststaredather.
“Areyoupsychic,too?”“Nope,butthetownloves
itsteam,andthewordonthestreetisthatanex-proplayerisgoingtobecoachingnextseason.Everyonehashighhopeswe’llstopbeingthelaughingstockoftheregion.Sinceyoulooklikeajock
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andyouwerestandingouthereadmiringthestadium,Ijustputtwoandtwotogether.”Hegaveheranamused
look.“Howdoesajocklook?”Colortintedhercheeks.
“Youknow,fit,welltoned.”Helaughed.“Isee.Well,I
amAidanMitchell,”heconfirmed.“AndI’minterviewingforthejob,butI
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don’thaveityet.”“Oh,you’llgetit,”shesaid
confidently.“Everyone’sveryexcited.You’llbethesecondproplayerintown.Ofcourse,MackFranklingrewuphere,andheonlyplayedprofessionallyforaseasonbeforebecomingasportscolumnist,butthetownloveshim.Hestartedalocalweeklynewspaperacoupleofyearsback.It’savery
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toughbusiness,ifyouknowanythingaboutnewspapersthesedays,buthe’sbeatentheoddsbecauseit’sthebestwaytofindoutwhat’sgoingonintown.”Shepausedforbreath,thenamended,“AsidefromsittinginSally’sandlisteningtothegossip,anyway.AtleastMacktriestobringsomejournalisticcredibilityintoplay.”AftergrowingupinNew
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York,Aidanwasastonishedbythisinsightintosmall-townways.OrperhapsitwasjustLizMarch,whochatteredlikeamagpie.“DoesMackknowthathiscompetitionisalocalcafé?”“Ofcoursehedoes.Sally’s
hisbestsource.Butmostlyhe’dbethefirsttofindoutwhat’sgoingon,anyway.He’smarriedtoanO’Brien,whichmakeshimpractically
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royaltyinChesapeakeShores.”Aidaninstinctively
stiffenedatthecomment,thoughhehopedshehadn’tnoticed.“Whyisthat?”“Youdon’tknowthe
town’shistory?”sheasked,lookingstartled.“Isitacriteriaforliving
here?”heasked,mostlyinjest.“DotheygiveatestattheRealtor’soffice?”
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“Notreally,”shesaid,apparentlytakinghimseriously.“It’sjustalocallegend,sopeopletendtoknowit.AsIunderstandit,thelandoriginallybelongedtoanO’BrienwhocameherestraightfromIreland.Hisfamilyfarmeditforyears.Acoupleofdecadesago,threeofhisdescendants—Mick,JeffandThomasO’Brien—builtChesapeakeShoresfrom
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scratchonthatland.”Shepausedforbreath,then
added,“Mick’sthefamousarchitectwhodesignedthetown.Hemightnotbeanelectedofficial,buthiswordstillcarriesalotofweightaroundhere.Jeffmanagespropertiesandsellsrealestate.”Eyestwinkling,shegaveAidanapointedlook.“Soitwouldn’treallysurprisemeifhedoesspread
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thestoryhimself,thoughIimaginehe’dconsidertestingpotentialresidentstobeill-mannered.”Aidanchuckled.“Touché.”“There’sanotherbrother,
too.Thomasisawell-respectedenvironmentalistwhorunsafoundationthatfightstoprotectthebay.”Aidan’sbrainseemedto
shutdownatthecasualmentionofThomasO’Brien.
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MaybecomingtoChesapeakeShoreshadbeenahugemistake,afterall,ifjusthearingthatnamemadehimflinch.He’dgottenatipaboutthecoachingjobandbeendrawnhereasiffateweresteppingin,butnowallhefeltwasthefamiliarbitternessandangercrawlingupthebackofhisthroat.Thatitmightbeunwarrantedwasaconcepthestruggledwith
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fromtimetotime.Hesuddenlyrealizedthat
Lizwasstudyinghimwithaworriedexpression.“Areyouokay?DidIsay
somethingthatupsetyou?”“No,notathing,I’mfine,”
Aidanassuredher.“Thanksforthebackgroundinformation.”Hedeliberatelytookaquickglanceathiswatch,thenadded,“Ineedtogetgoing.”
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Heturnedandquicklywalkedoffinthedirectionofhiscar.“Aidan!”Liz’sconcerned
voicecarriedonthebreeze.“Theschoolofficeistheotherway.”Hegaveherawaveof
acknowledgmentandkeptrightongoing,thankfultherewasnosettimeforhisinterview.He’dintentionallyscheduleditthatway,
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promisingtocalloncehearrivedintownandgotsettledintotheroomtheschoolhadreservedforhimatTheInnatEaglePoint.Maybeafterashowerandsomefoodandalittlemoretimetothinkaboutwhathewasdoing,he’dbereadytomakethatcall.Ormaybenot.Itwasabigdecision,
decidingwhethertostayandtakearisk,orgo.Ifhis
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friendscouldseehimnow,they’dbestunnedbyhisindecisiveness.Onthefield,he’dbeena
quick-thinkingquarterback,readingadefenseandmakingsplit-secondadjustmentsthatdeterminedwhetheraplaysucceededorfailed.Hehadn’tstruggledforevenaminutewithhisdecisiontoretirewhenhe’drealizedthataninjuryhadslowedhim
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down,ruininghiseffectivenessonthefield.He’dalwayswantedtocoachatthehighschoollevel.He’dgottenhisteachingcredentialsincollegeinanticipationthatthisdaywouldeventuallycome.AttheendofhisseasonlastNovemberfollowingasecondkneeinjurythathadtakenhimoutfortheyear,he’dmadethecall.Sure,ithad
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comealotsoonerthanhe’danticipated,butfatewasfunnythatway.Hewouldn’tbeoneofthoseplayerswhohungonpasthisexpirationdate.Butthisdecision?Thiswas
different.Thiswasatwenty-eight-year-oldmantryingtodecidenotonlywhetherajobandtownmightbeagoodfitbutifthetimewasrighttomeethisbiologicalfather—
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ThomasO’Brien—fortheveryfirsttime.
***
LizheldacupofcoffeeinherhandstowarmthemasshesatinaboothatSally’swithBreeO’BrienCollins,whoownedFlowersonMain,thestorenextdoortohers.Breewasalsoaplaywrightwhoranalocaltheater,butshe
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stilllovedspendingtheoccasionaldaymakingflowerarrangements,especiallyforspecialoccasions.Todayshe’dbeensobusywiththedecorationsforababyshowerthatthey’dpostponedtheirmorningcoffeebreakuntilafternoonwhenLiz’shighschoolhelpercouldcoverforher.“I’mtellingyou,itwas
verystrange,”shetoldBree.
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“Wewerejusttalking.IshouldsayIwaschatteringaway,fillinghiminonthisandthat.”SheregardedBreewitharuefulexpression.“Ireallydohavetostopdoingthat,goingonandon,Imean.”Bree’sgrinsuggestedshe
wasdoingitagain.“Okay.Sorry.I’llgettothe
point.Ipromise.I’dtriedtoconvincehimtotakeArchie,
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buthewasn’tinterested.ThenIadmittedthatI’dguessedwhohewas.Wetalkedaboutthejobforacoupleofminutes,ormaybeIdidallthetalking.Anyway,hetookoff,andnottowardtheschool,asifhe’drealizedhewaslateforameetingorsomething.Heheadedintheoppositedirection.”“Well,thatisweird,”Bree
said.“Maybehedoesn’tlike
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dogs.Archieisasweetheart,butnoteverybodynoticesthatwhenhe’stryingtoherdthem.”Lizchuckled.“Yes,I’m
familiarwiththereaction.Thepoorthingcan’thelphimself,though.ButtheArchieissuewasresolved.Aidanwasn’tinterested,andthatwasthatforme.Petsbelongwithpeoplewho’llloveandappreciatethem.
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ActuallyIwasfillinghiminonlocalhistory,howO’Briensbuiltthetown,whenhegotthiskindofglazedlookonhisface,thentookoff.”“Soyouthinkhisreaction
hadsomethingtodowiththeO’Briens?”Breeasked,frowning.“Itfeltthatway,buthow
couldthatbeit?Everybodylovesyourfamily.”
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Breemadeaface.“That’saslightexaggeration.Dad’smadehisshareofenemiesovertheyears.Heck,foralongtime,hedidn’tevengetalongallthatwellwithhisownbrothers.He,JeffandThomasclashedovereverydetailwhentheywerebuildingthetown.It’sonlyrecently,thankstomygrandmother’sdetermination,thatpeaceandfamily
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harmonyhavebeenmostlyrestored.IfyouforcepeopletositaroundthesametableonSundaylongenough,soonerorlatertheyhavetostarttalkingcivilly.IdoubtNellenvisionedjusthowlongthatprocesswouldtake,though.”Liznoddeddistractedly.
ShewasstillperplexedbyAidan’sbehavior.“ThenImusthavemisreadhis
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reaction,”shesaideventually.“Iguesswe’llseewhenwordspreadsaboutwhetherhe’stakenthejobatthehighschool.”“Well,whateverAidan
feelsabouttheO’Briens,it’sone-sided,”Breesaid.“Dadisdeterminedtogethimhiredasthecoach.Hepracticallyhandpickedhimfromthelistofcandidates,sothere’snobadbloodthere,atleaston
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hisside.AndyouknowMickO’Brien.Whenhewantssomething,heusuallygetsit.”Breesatbackandstudied
Lizwithaspeculativeexpression.“So,whatwashelike?Aidan,Imean.”Lizblushedunderthe
friendlyscrutiny.“Isupposehewasgood-lookinginthatwell-built,jockway.”Shewishedshehadn’tnoticed
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justhowtonedandfitheseemedtobe,orthewayhiseyeshadsparkedwithwit,orthedimplethatoccasionallyappearedinhischeekwhenhewasteasingher.“Inotherwords,you
wouldn’tkickhimoutofbed,”Breeconcluded.Lizfrownedatthe
lightheartedremark.“Iwouldn’tlethiminmybed,”shecorrected,thoughshe
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hopedhewouldn’tmakealiarofher.Shehadafeelinghecould.Tobolsterherresolvesheremindedbothofthem,“It’swaytoosoonformetobeeventhinkinglikethat.”Truthfully,shehopedshe
neverthoughtthatwayeveragain.Herpasthadleftherbeyondskittishwhenitcametorelationships.Shewasfiercelyindependentthese
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daysanddeterminedtostaythatway.Onceburned—especiallyasbadlyasshehadbeen—twiceshy.Bree’sexpression
immediatelysobered.“Liz,sweetie,it’sbeenayearsincetheaccident.Iknowyoulovedyourhusband.Ialsoknowyoumovedheretogetawayfromthememoriesandtostartover.It’stimetodothat.Meetingsomeonenewis
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partoftheprocess.Youdon’thavetofeelguiltyifyoufindAidanMitchellattractive.”“It’snotaboutguilt,”Liz
saiddefensively.“Itsoundedthatwayto
me.”“It’sabouttime.Ihavea
newbusiness.Ineedtofocusonthat.Ihavenewfriends,tosaynothingofahousefulofpets.TherearebarelyenoughhoursinthedayforallIhave
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todo.Arelationshipisoutofthequestionrightnow.”Breeclearlydidn’tagree.
“Archieandalltherestarenosubstituteforlettinganotherhumanintoyourlife,”shescolded.“Ihaveplentyofhumans
inmylife,”Lizretorted.“RightthissecondI’mthinkingtheremightbeonetoomany.”Shetriedtoforcealight,teasingnoteintoher
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voice,evenassheprayedthebarbwouldstrikehomeandendtheconversation.Breeimmediatelybacked
off,herexpressionstricken.“I’msorry.Meddlingisafamilytrait.Ijustcareaboutyou.Wealldo.EvenDad’sstartedaskingquestionsaboutwhynoone’scomeupwithagoodmatchforyouyet.Nowthatallofhischildren,niecesandnephewsandevenone
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granddaughteraremarried,heseemstohavegottenthiscrazyideathatit’shiscivicdutytoworkonmarryingoffeverysinglepersonintown.”“I’vebarelybeenintown
sixmonths,”Lizprotested.Breegrinned.“Inhis
opinion,that’splentylongenough.Trustme,youdonotwantMickdecidingtofindamanforyou.”“Heavenforbid,”Liz
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repliedwithheartfeltemotion.“I’veheardthestories.Nexttimethesubjectcomesup,youtellyourfatherthathecanfindmeadaterightafterheagreestotakeinArchie.Thatoughttoshuthimdown.”Thatearnedachucklefrom
Bree.“Now,whydidn’ttherestofuscomeupwithathreatlikethat?”“Maybeyouweren’tas
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eagertoevadehismatchmakingasIam,”Lizsaid,standingup.Shehatedlyingtoherfriend,toanyone,infact,butshedidn’tthinkshe’deverbereadytosharetherealstorybehindthenightshe’dlostherhusband.BettertoescapenowbeforeBreecoaxedherintorevealingsomethingshedidn’twanttoremember,muchlesstalkabout.
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Shereachedintoherpurseformoneytopayforhercoffeeandraspberrycroissant,treatssheallowedherselfonlyafterstrenuousoutingswithheranimals.ChasingArchiealloverDogwoodHilltodaydefinitelyqualified.“No.It’sonmetoday,”
Breeprotested.“It’sthepriceIpayforstickingmynosewhereitdoesn’tbelong.”She
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stoodupandhuggedLiz.“Wemaybewell-meaning,butdon’tyoudarehesitatetotellanyofustobuttout,okay?”Unexpectedtearsstung
Liz’seyes.“Iwon’t,buttobehonest,knowingthatyoucareenoughtobuttinmeanstheworldtome.”Itwasalmostasifshe’d
foundawholenewfamilyafterlosingherhusbandona
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rain-slickedroadoneterriblenightayearago.Thepitifultruthwas,though,thatshe’dapparentlylosthimlongbeforethatandneverknownit.
***
AfterhisdisconcertingconversationwithLiz,Aidandrovearoundtowntryingtoconvincehimselfthat
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ChesapeakeShoreswasn’ttheplaceforhim.Hediligentlyfocusedonthedownside.Itonlyhadatinydistrictof
shopsandrestaurants,foronething.Thereweremorebusinessesandagreaterdiversityoffancyandtake-outfoodoptionswithintwoblocksofhisapartmentinManhattan’sUpperWestSidethantherewereinthisentire
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town,maybeeventhewholeregionwithoutgoingallthewaytoAnnapolisorBaltimore.Hepickedupacopyofthe
localweeklyLizhadmentionedandcomparedittothedailyNewYorknewspapers,thenshookhishead.Whenameetingofthetown’sbeautificationcommitteewasfront-pagenews,hewasdefinitelyinthe
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wrongplace.Then,ofcourse,therewas
theinsightLizhadgivenhimintoatownwhereseeminglyeveryonekneweveryoneelse’sbusiness.InNewYork,thoughhehadplentyoffriendsinthecity,hewasbarelyacquaintedwithmostofhisneighbors.Thathadalwayssuitedhimjustfine.Therewereenoughrealcelebritiesaroundtownthata
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professionalathletecouldeasilyavoidthelimelightifthatwashischoice.Inhiscase,ithadbeen.Howcouldthispossiblybe
thebestmatchforhim?Evenifthetowndidn’tcomewithawholeslewofemotionalbaggageattached,small-townlivingprobablywasn’trightforhim.He’dgostir-crazyinamonth,quiteprobablysooner.
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Sighingheavily,hecametowhathadtobethebestdecision.He’dsetupaninterviewfortomorrow,becausehe’dmadeacommitmentandcommitmentsmeantsomethingtohim.He’deventrytolistenwithanopenheart,buthismindwasalreadymadeup.He’ddeclinethejob,wishthemwell,thentakeoffrightafter
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theinterview.Therewereboundtobe
othercoachingjobs,jobsthatwouldn’tputhimanywherenearamanhe’dnowconvincedhimselfhedidn’treallyneedtoknoworevenmeet.ThomasO’Brienwasanameonapieceofpaper,animportantpieceofpapertobesure,butmeetinghimwouldn’tchangethefactthathe’dbeennothingtoAidan
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hisentirelife.Atleastheknewwheretofindhimifsomegenetichealthissuecroppedupyearsfromnow.AnimageofLizcreptinto
hisheadandhefeltamoment’sregret.Notonlywasshebeautiful,shehadagoodheart.He’dfeltaninstantaneousconnectiontoher,somethingthatrarelyhappenedwiththewomenwhotendedtoflockaround
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professionalathletes.Lizwasreal.Still,hecouldn’tallowa
momentaryattractiontoawomantoswayhimintomakingadecisionthatwassoobviouslyallwrong.He’dhaveanicedinner,getagoodnight’ssleep,meetwiththehighschoolprincipalandthengoonhisway.Satisfiedwithhisplan,he
checkedthedirectionsand
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headedtowardTheInnatEaglePoint.Ashedrovealongthewindingroad,hecouldn’thelpnoticingthenearbybay,andoncemoreLiz’smentionofThomasO’Brien’spassionforthatbodyofwaterslippedpasthisdefenses.Hepiecedherwordstogetherwithwhatlittlehismotherhadtoldhimovertheyearsandwonderedwhatitmustbeliketobeso
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idealisticthatacausematteredmorethanpeople,morethanason.Ifheleft,he’dneverknowtheanswertothat.“Stopit!”hemuttered,as
emphaticwithhimselfasLizhadbeenwithArchieearlier.Thedecisionwasmade.Somehow,though,itdidn’t
seemquiteasvalidaswhenhe’dfirstreachedit.
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***
WhenLizgothomethatnight,Archie,SashaandDominiquemetheratthedoorofherlittlebungalowacrossthestreetfromDogwoodHill.Thetwoterriermixesthatshe’drescuedsoonaftercomingtoChesapeakeShoresmightbesmallcomparedtoArchie,buttherewaslittlequestion
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aboutwhothealphadogswereinherhome.Girlsruled!Afterafewfailedattemptstoherdthem,Archiehadacquiescedtotheirdominance.Nowhesatquietlybyand
waitedforhisturntogetLiz’sattention.Thenallthreedogstrailedherintothekitchen,whereherimperialmajesty,aone-earedSiameseknownasAnastasia,regarded
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themallwithasuperiorlookasshesatbesideherkittydishawaitingdinner.WhenLizonceagaintriedaless-expensivebrandofcatfood,Anastasiaregardedherwithanaccusinglookandturneduphernose.“Idon’tevenknowwhyI
try,”Lizgrumbled.“Otherthanthefactthatthisotherstuffisgoingtobankruptme.”Evenso,shedumped
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therejectedfoodinthegarbageandreplaceditwiththecat’spreferredbrand.Asshelookedaroundher
small,butnicelyupdatedkitchen,themismatchedgroupofstraysbroughtasmiletoLiz’slips.“Bree’swrong,”shetold
thememphaticallyasshedoledoutmorehugsandscratchesbehindtheears,thendishedupdinnerforthe
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dogs.“YouguysareallthecompanionshipIneed.”Butevenasshesaidthe
words,animageofAidanMitchellcreptintomakeherbloodpumpjustalittlefaster.Andthatwasexactlywhyshehadtostayfar,farawayfromhim.
Copyright©2015bySherrylWoods
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ISBN-13:9781460390191
WillowBrookRoad
Copyright©2015bySherrylWoods
Allrightsreserved.Bypaymentoftherequiredfees,youhavebeengrantedthenon-exclusive,non-transferablerighttoaccessandreadthetextofthise-
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