Wisdom in Family LifeWisdom in Family LifeReflections on Psalms & Proverbs Reflections on Psalms & Proverbs

Series, Part 7Series, Part 7Proverbs 19:11-27 & Various Proverbs passagesProverbs 19:11-27 & Various Proverbs passages

February 9, 2014February 9, 2014

Pastor Paul K. KimPastor Paul K. Kim

WHY IS FAMILY LIFE SO IMPORTANT IN LIVING WISELY?

• It is where our true character is revealed.

• It is where wise-living/godly-living starts.

• It is the most formative place of learning wisdom—“the art of living skillfully in whatever actual conditions we find ourselves.” [Eugene Peterson]

• It is where godly values are cultivated and the fruit of wise-living is celebrated.

All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.

Leo Tolstoy

WHAT WISDOM DOES PROVERBS PROVIDE FOR FAMILY LIFE?

1) Spouse-to-Spouse: Love and respect each other faithfully as a covenantal relationship under God (9:14; 5:15-19; 2:16-17; 19:13b; 21:19; 12:4; 31:11, 28).

14 House and wealth are inherited from fathers,but a prudent wife is from the LORD. (9:14)

15 Drink water from your own cistern, flowing water from your own well.

18 Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth,

19 a lovely deer, a graceful doe.Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love. (5:15, 18, 19)

WHAT WISDOM DOES PROVERBS PROVIDE FOR FAMILY LIFE?

1) Spouse-to-Spouse: Love and respect each other faithfully as a covenantal relationship under God (9:14; 5:15-19; 2:16-17; 19:13b; 21:19; 12:4; 31:11, 28).16 So you will be delivered from the forbidden woman,

from the adulteress with her smooth words,17 who forsakes the companion of her youth

and forgets the covenant of her God. (2:16-17)

13 a wife's quarreling is a continual dripping of rain (19:13b) 19 It is better to live in a desert land than

with a quarrelsome and fretful woman. (21:19)

WHAT WISDOM DOES PROVERBS PROVIDE FOR FAMILY LIFE?

1) Spouse-to-Spouse: Love and respect each other faithfully as a covenantal relationship under God (9:14; 5:15-19; 2:16-17; 19:13b; 21:19; 12:4; 31:11, 28).

4 An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones.

(12:4)

11 The heart of her husband trusts in her (31:11)

28 her husband also, and he praises her (31:28)

WHAT WISDOM DOES PROVERBS PROVIDE FOR FAMILY LIFE?

1) Spouse-to-Spouse: Love and respect each other faithfully as a covenantal relationship under God (9:14; 5:15-19; 2:16-17; 19:13b; 21:19; 12:4; 31:11, 28).

Acknowledge that she/he is a handpicked blessing of God.

Be faithful to each other in your covenant of oneness, resisting temptations to look for fulfillment elsewhere.

Focus on building each other up—trusting and affirming each other as a regular practice of encouragement.

Be God’s loving tool to sharpen each other’s character toward Christlikeness (Prov. 27:17: Eph. 5:26-27).

WHAT WISDOM DOES PROVERBS PROVIDE FOR FAMILY LIFE?

2) Parents-to-Children: Love and train them to become a wise person. (6:20; 13:1; 3:12; 19:18; 22:15; 22:6).

20 My son, keep your father's commandment,and forsake not your mother's teaching. (6:20)

1 A wise son hears his father's instruction,but a scoffer does not listen to rebuke. (13:1)

12 for the Lord reproves him whom he loves,as a father the son in whom he delights. (3:12)

18 Discipline your son, for there is hope;do not set your heart on putting him to death (19:18)

15  Folly is bound up in the heart of a child,but the rod of discipline drives it far from him. (22:15)

6 Train up a child in the way he should go;even when he is old he will not depart from it. (22:6)

WHAT WISDOM DOES PROVERBS PROVIDE FOR FAMILY LIFE?

2) Parents-to-Children: Love and train them to become a wise person. (6:20; 13:1; 3:12; 19:18; 22:15; 22:6).

Teach and instruct them wisdom and discernment through God’s Word and modeling.

Discipline them early on proactively to train them for wise and godly living.

The goal of parenting is neither “controlling” nor “affirming” them—it is to “train” [equip/coach] them to become wise.

So, a key application of this wisdom in parenting is to train and discipline our children with “loving firmness.”

WHAT WISDOM DOES PROVERBS PROVIDE FOR FAMILY LIFE?

3) Children-to-Parents: Listen to your parents and honor them. (19:27; 23:22-25; 19:13a; 10:1; 15:5).

27 Cease to hear instruction, my son, and you will stray from the words of knowledge. (19:27)

22 Listen to your father who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old.

24 The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice; he who fathers a wise son will be glad in him.

25 Let your father and mother be glad; let her who bore you rejoice. (23:22, 24, 25)

13 A foolish son is ruin to his father (19:13a)

5 A fool despises his father's instruction, but whoever heeds reproof is prudent. (15:5)

WHAT WISDOM DOES PROVERBS PROVIDE FOR FAMILY LIFE?

3) Children-to-Parents: Listen to your parents and honor them. (19:27; 23:22-25; 19:13a; 10:1; 15:5).

For young children, it is God’s will to listen and obey parents’ teaching and instruction with respect.

In so doing, children become a joy to parents rather than a sorrow/ruin to them.

For adult children, the key wisdom and God’s will is to HONOR our parents.

Therefore, a mark of a wise person is he/she honors aging parents at all times.

WHAT WISDOM DOES PROVERBS PROVIDE FOR FAMILY LIFE?

* 5 Ways to Honor Your Parents by Tim Keller

1. Show them respect by appropriate symbols.2. Express your gratitude the good things you

got from them through their training as well as their heritage.

3. Don't stereotype them—let them change.4. Forgive them.5. Be liberated from them.

WHAT WISDOM DOES PROVERBS PROVIDE FOR FAMILY LIFE?

4) Godly Family Culture: Fear the LORD and cultivate the way of wisdom as lifestyle (19:23; 14:26; 19:20-21, 19:1, 22; 19:15, 24; 19:19; 29:22; 18:21).

23 The fear of the Lord leads to life,and whoever has it rests satisfied;

he will not be visited by harm. (19:23)

 20 Listen to advice and accept instruction,that you may gain wisdom in the future.

21 Many are the plans in the mind of a man,but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand. (19:20-21)

1 Better is a poor person who walks in his integritythan one who is crooked in speech and is a fool.

22 What is desired in a man is steadfast love,and a poor man is better than a liar. (19:1, 22)

WHAT WISDOM DOES PROVERBS PROVIDE FOR FAMILY LIFE?

4) Godly Family Culture: Fear the LORD and cultivate the way of wisdom as lifestyle (19:23; 14:26; 19:20-21, 19:1, 22; 19:15, 24; 19:19; 29:22; 18:21).

15 Slothfulness casts into a deep sleep,and an idle person will suffer hunger.

24 The sluggard buries his hand in the dishand will not even bring it back to his mouth. (19:15, 24)

19 A man of great wrath will pay the penalty,for if you deliver him, you will only have to do it again.

(19:19)

21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits. (18:21)

WHAT WISDOM DOES PROVERBS PROVIDE FOR FAMILY LIFE?

4) Godly Family Culture: Run to God and cultivate the way of wisdom as lifestyle (19:23; 14:26; 19:20-21, 19:1, 22; 19:15, 24; 19:19; 29:22; 18:21).

Godly culture is the way of wisdom—it is cultivated like farming (i.e., it takes time, consistent practice, and patience.)

It starts with our own fear of the LORD and integrity.

Avoid toxic things—pride, dishonesty, hot temper/anger, laziness, and unwholesome speech.

Instead, practice humility, integrity, slow-to-anger (self-control), diligence, and wholesome speech.

THREE PRACTICAL QUESTIONS FOR OUR EVERYDAY LIFE

1. What hit home for you most in this reflection on wisdom in family life? What will you do about it?

2. What will you apply practically in relating to your spouse?

3. What will you apply practically in relating to your children and/or to your parents as an adult child?