wodehouse - piccadilly jim

7/21/2019 Wodehouse - Piccadilly Jim

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The Project Gutenberg EBook of Piccadilly Jim, by P.G. Wodehouse

Title: Piccadilly Jim

uthor: Pelham Gren!ille Wodehouse

"#PTE$ %

$E&'#%$E& G%$(

The residence of )r. Peter Pett, the *ell'kno*n financier, on$i!erside &ri!e is one of the leading eyesores of that bree+y ande-ensi!e boule!ard. s you -ass by in your limousine, or *hileenjoying ten cents *orth of fresh air on to- of a green omnibus,it jum-s out and bites at you. rchitects, confronted *ith it,reel and thro* u- their hands defensi!ely, and e!en the layobser!er has a sense of shock. The -lace resembles in almosteual -ro-ortions a cathedral, a suburban !illa, a hotel and a"hinese -agoda. )any of its *indo*s are of stained glass, and

abo!e the -orch stand t*o terra'cotta lions, considerably morere-ulsi!e e!en than the com-lacent animals *hich guard /e* 0ork1sPublic (ibrary. %t is a house *hich is im-ossible to o!erlook:and it *as -robably for this reason that )rs. Pett insisted onher husband buying it, for she *as a *oman *ho liked to benoticed.

Through the rich interior of this mansion )r. Pett, its nominal-ro-rietor, *as *andering like a lost s-irit. The hour *as aboutten of a fine 2unday morning, but the 2abbath calm *hich *as u-onthe house had not communicated itself to him. There *as a look ofeas-eration on his usually -atient face, and a muttered oath,-icked u- no doubt on the godless 2tock Echange, esca-ed hisli-s.

3&arn it43

#e *as afflicted by a sense of the -athos of his -osition. %t *asnot as if he demanded much from life. #e asked but little herebelo*. t that moment all that he *anted *as a uiet s-ot *herehe might read his 2unday -a-er in solitary -eace, and he couldnot find one. %ntruders lurked behind e!ery door. The -lace *ascongested.

This sort of thing had been gro*ing *orse and *orse e!er sincehis marriage t*o years -re!iously. There *as a strong literary!irus in )rs. Pett1s system. 2he not only *rote !oluminously

herself''the name /esta 5ord Pett is familiar to all lo!ers ofsensational fiction''but aimed at maintaining a salon. 2tarting,in -ursuance of this aim, *ith a single s-ecimen,''her ne-he*,Willie Partridge, *ho *as *orking on a ne* e-losi!e *hich *oulde!entually re!olutionise *ar''she had gradually added to hercollections, until no* she ga!e shelter beneath her terra'cottaroof to no fe*er than si young and unrecognised geniuses. 2ibrilliant youths, mostly no!elists *ho had not yet started and-oets *ho *ere about to begin, cluttered u- )r. Pett1s rooms onthis fair June morning, *hile he, clutching his 2unday -a-er,



*andered about, finding, like the do!e in Genesis, no rest. %t*as at such times that he *as almost inclined to en!y his *ife1sfirst husband, a business friend of his named Elmer 5ord, *ho had-erished suddenly of an a-o-lectic sei+ure: and the -ity *hich hegenerally felt for the deceased tended to shift its focus.

)arriage had certainly com-licated life for )r. Pett, as itfreuently does for the man *ho *aits fifty years before tryingit. %n addition to the geniuses, )rs. Pett had brought *ith herto her ne* home her only son, 6gden, a fourteen'year'old boy of asingularly unlo!eable ty-e. 0ears of gro*n'u- society and theabsence of anything a--roaching disci-line had gi!en him a-recocity on *hich the earnest efforts of a series of -ri!atetutors had e-ended themsel!es in !ain. They came, full ofo-timism and self'confidence, to retire after a brief inter!al,shattered by the boy1s stodgy resistance to education in any formor sha-e. To )r. Pett, ne!er at his ease *ith boys, 6gden 5ord*as a constant irritant. #e disliked his ste-son1s -ersonality,and he more than sus-ected him of stealing his cigarettes. %t*as an additional annoyance that he *as fully a*are of the

im-ossibility of e!er catching him at it.

)r. Pett resumed his journey. #e had interru-ted it for a momentto listen at the door of the morning'room, but, a remark in ahigh tenor !oice about the essential "hristianity of the -oet2helley filtering through the oak, he had mo!ed on.

2ilence from behind another door farther do*n the -assageencouraged him to -lace his fingers on the handle, but a crashingchord from an unseen -iano made him remo!e them s*iftly. #e

roamed on, and a fe* minutes later the -rocess of elimination hadbrought him to *hat *as technically his o*n -ri!ate library''alarge, soothing room full of old books, of *hich his father hadbeen a great collector. )r. Pett did not read old books himself,but he liked to be among them, and it is -roof of his -essimismthat he had not tried the library first. To his de-ressed mind ithad seemed hardly -ossible that there could be nobody there.

#e stood outside the door, listening tensely. #e could hearnothing. #e *ent in, and for an instant e-erienced that ecstaticthrill *hich only comes to elderly gentlemen of solitary habit*ho in a house full of their juniors find themsel!es alone atlast. Then a !oice s-oke, shattering his dream of solitude.

3#ello, -o-43

6gden 5ord *as s-ra*ling in a dee- chair in the shado*s.

3"ome in, -o-, come in. (ots of room.3

)r. Pett stood in the door*ay, regarding his ste-'son *ith asombre eye. #e resented the boy1s tone of easy -atronage, all the

harder to endure *ith -hiloso-hic calm at the -resent moment fromthe fact that the latter *as lounging in his fa!ourite chair.E!en from an aesthetic -oint of !ie* the sight of the bulging



child offended him. 6gden 5ord *as round and blobby and lookedo!erfed. #e had the -lethoric habit of one to *hom *holesomeeercise is a stranger and the sallo* com-leion of the confirmedcandy'fiend. E!en no*, a bare half hour after breakfast, his ja*s*ere mo!ing *ith a rhythmical, cham-ing motion.

3What are you eating, boy73 demanded )r. Pett, his disa--ointmentturning to irritability.

3"andy.3

3% *ish you *ould not eat candy all day.3

3)other ga!e it to me,3 said 6gden sim-ly. s he had antici-ated,the shot silenced the enemy1s battery. )r. Pett grunted, but madeno !erbal comment. 6gden celebrated his !ictory by -uttinganother -iece of candy in his mouth.

3Got a grouch this morning, ha!en1t you, -o-73

3% *ill not be s-oken to like that43

3% thought you had,3 said his ste-'son com-lacently. 3% canal*ays tell. % don1t see *hy you *ant to come -icking on me,though. %1!e done nothing.3

)r. Pett *as sniffing sus-iciously.

30ou1!e been smoking.3

3)e443

32moking cigarettes.3

3/o, sir43

3There are t*o butts in the ash'tray.3

3% didn1t -ut them there.3

36ne of them is *arm.3

3%t1s a *arm day.3

30ou dro--ed it there *hen you heard me come in.3

3/o, sir4 %1!e only been here a fe* minutes. % guess one of the

fello*s *as in here before me. They1re al*ays s*i-ing yourcoffin'nails. 0ou ought to do something about it, -o-. 0ou oughtto assert yourself.3

sense of hel-lessness came u-on )r. Pett. 5or the thousandthtime he felt himself baffled by this calm, goggle'eyed boy *hotreated him *ith such su-ercilious coolness.

30ou ought to be out in the o-en air this lo!ely morning,3 hesaid feebly.



3ll right. (et1s go for a *alk. % *ill if you *ill.3

3%''% ha!e other things to do,3 said )r. Pett, recoiling from the-ros-ect.

3Well, this fresh'air stuff is o!errated any*ay. Where1s thesense of ha!ing a home if you don1t sto- in it73

3When % *as your age, % *ould ha!e been out on a morning likethis''er''bo*ling my hoo-.3

3nd look at you no*43

3What do you mean73

3)artyr to lumbago.3

3% am not a martyr to lumbago,3 said )r. Pett, *ho *as touchy onthe subject.

3#a!e it your o*n *ay. ll % kno* is''3

3/e!er mind43

3%1m only saying *hat mother . . .3

3Be uiet43

6gden made further researches in the candy bo.

3#a!e some, -o-73

3/o.3

38uite right. Got to be careful at your age.3

3What do you mean73

3Getting on, you kno*. /ot so young as you used to be. "ome in,-o-, if you1re coming in. There1s a draft from that door.3

)r. Pett retired, fermenting. #e *ondered ho* another man *ouldha!e handled this situation. The ridiculous inconsistency of thehuman character infuriated him. Why should he be a totallydifferent man on $i!erside &ri!e from the -erson he *as in Pine2treet7 Why should he be able to hold his o*n in Pine 2treet *ith

gro*n men''*hiskered, suare'ja*ed financiers''and yet be unableon $i!erside &ri!e to eject a fourteen'year'old boy from an easychair7 %t seemed to him sometimes that a curious -aralysis of the*ill came o!er him out of business hours.

)ean*hile, he had still to find a -lace *here he could read his2unday -a-er.

#e stood for a *hile in thought. Then his bro* cleared, and hebegan to mount the stairs. $eaching the to- floor, he *alked



along the -assage and knocked on a door at the end of it. 5rombehind this door, as from behind those belo*, sounds -roceeded,but this time they did not seem to discourage )r. Pett. %t *asthe ta--ing of a ty-e*riter that he heard, and he listened to it*ith an air of bene!olent a--ro!al. #e lo!ed to hear the sound ofa ty-e*riter: it made home so like the office.

3"ome in,3 called a girl1s !oice.

The room in *hich )r. Pett found himself *as small but cosy, andits cosiness''oddly, considering the se of its o*ner''had that-eculiar uality *hich belongs as a rule to the dens of men. large bookcase almost co!ered one side of it, its reds and bluesand bro*ns smiling cheerfully at *hoe!er entered. The *alls *erehung *ith -rints, judiciously chosen and arranged. Through a*indo* to the left, healthfully o-en at the bottom, the sunstreamed in, bringing *ith it the -leasantly subdued *hirring ofautomobiles out on the &ri!e. t a desk at right angles to this*indo*, her !i!id red'gold hair ri--ling in the bree+e from theri!er, sat the girl *ho had been *orking at the ty-e*riter. 2he

turned as )r. Pett entered, and smiled o!er her shoulder.

nn "hester, )r. Pett1s niece, looked her best *hen she smiled.lthough her hair *as the most ob!iously striking feature of hera--earance, her mouth *as really the most indi!idual thing abouther. %t *as a mouth that suggested ad!enturous -ossibilities. %nre-ose, it had a look of ha!ing just finished saying somethinghumorous, a kind of demure a--reciation of itself. When itsmiled, a ro* of *hite teeth flashed out: or, if the li-s did not-art, a dim-le a--eared on the right cheek, gi!ing the *hole facean air of mischie!ous geniality. %t *as an enter-rising,s*ashbuckling sort of mouth, the mouth of one *ho *ould leadforlorn ho-es *ith a jest or -lot *himsically la*lesscons-iracies against con!ention. %n its corners and in the firmline of the chin beneath it there lurked, too, more than a hintof im-eriousness. -hysiognomist *ould ha!e gathered, correctly,that nn "hester liked ha!ing her o*n *ay and *as accustomed toget it.

3#ello, uncle Peter,3 she said. 3What1s the trouble73

3m % interru-ting you, nn73

3/ot a bit. %1m only co-ying out a story for aunt /esta. %-romised her % *ould. Would you like to hear some of it73

)r. Pett said he *ould not.

30ou1re missing a good thing,3 said nn, turning the -ages. 3%1mall *orked u- o!er it. %t1s called 1t &ead of /ight,1 and it1sfull of crime and e!erything. 0ou *ould ne!er think aunt /estahad such a fe!erish imagination. There are detecti!es andkidna--ers in it and all sorts of luuries. % su--ose it1s theeffect of reading it, but you look to me as if you *ere trailingsomething. 0ou1!e got a sort of -ur-oseful air.3

)r. Pett1s amiable face *rithed into *hat *as intended to be a



bitter smile.

3%1m only trailing a uiet -lace to read in. % ne!er sa* such a-lace as this house. %t looks big enough outside for a regiment.0et, *hen you1re inside, there1s a -oet or something in e!eryroom.3

3What about the library7 %sn1t that sacred to you73

3The boy 6gden1s there.3

3What a shame43

3Wallo*ing in my best chair,3 said )r. Pett morosely. 32mokingcigarettes.3

32moking7 % thought he had -romised aunt /esta he *ouldn1t smoke.3

3Well, he said he *asn1t, of course, but % kno* he had been. %don1t kno* *hat to do *ith that boy. %t1s no good my talking to

him. #e''he -atronises me43 concluded )r. Pett indignantly.32its there on his shoulder blades *ith his feet on the tableand talks to me *ith his mouth full of candy as if % *ere hisgrandson.3

3(ittle brute.3

nn *as sorry for )r. Pett. 5or many years no*, e!er since thedeath of her mother, they had been inse-arable. #er father, *ho*as a tra!eller, e-lorer, big'game hunter, and general sojournerin the lonelier and *ilder s-ots of the *orld and -aid onlyinfreuent !isits to /e* 0ork, had left her almost entirely in)r. Pett1s care, and all her -leasantest memories *ere associated*ith him. )r. "hester1s *as in many *ays an admirable character,but not a domestic one9 and his relations *ith his daughter *ereconfined for the most -art to letters and -resents. %n the -astfe* years she had come almost to regard )r. Pett in the light ofa father. #ers *as a nature s*iftly res-onsi!e to kindness9 andbecause )r. Pett besides being kind *as also -athetic she -itiedas *ell as lo!ed him. There *as a lingering boyishness in thefinancier, the boyishness of the boy *ho muddles along in anunsym-athetic *orld and can ne!er do anything right: and thisuality called aloud to the youth in her. 2he *as at the !aliantage *hen *e burn to right *rongs and succour the o--ressed, and*ild rebel schemes for the reformation of her small *orld camereadily to her. 5rom the first she had been a smoulderings-ectator of the trials of her uncle1s married life, and if )r.

Pett had e!er asked her ad!ice and bound himself to act on it he*ould ha!e sol!ed his domestic troubles in e-losi!e fashion. 5ornn in her moments of maiden meditation had freuently de!isedschemes to that end *hich *ould ha!e made his grey hair standerect *ith horror.

3%1!e seen a good many boys,3 she said, 3but 6gden is in a classby himself. #e ought to be sent to a strict boarding'school, ofcourse.3



3#e ought to be sent to 2ing'2ing,3 amended )r. Pett.

3Why don1t you send him to school73

30our aunt *ouldn1t hear of it. 2he1s afraid of his beingkidna--ed. %t ha--ened last time he *ent to school. 0ou can1tblame her for *anting to kee- her eye on him after that.3

nn ran her fingers meditati!ely o!er the keys.

3%1!e sometimes thought . . .3

30es73

36h, nothing. % must get on *ith this thing for aunt /esta.3

)r. Pett -laced the bulk of the 2unday -a-er on the floor besidehim, and began to run an a--reciati!e eye o!er the comicsu--lement. That lingering boyishness in him *hich endeared himto nn al*ays led him to o-en his 2abbath reading in this

fashion. Grey'headed though he *as, he still retained both in artand in real life a taste for the sla-stick. /o one had e!er kno*nthe -ure -leasure it had gi!en him *hen $aymond Green, his *ife1sno!elist -rotege, had tri--ed o!er a loose stair'rod one morningand fallen an entire flight.

5rom some -oint farther do*n the corridor came a muffledthudding. nn sto--ed her *ork to listen.

3There1s Jerry )itchell -unching the bag.3

3Eh73 said )r. Pett.

3% only said % could hear Jerry )itchell in the gymnasium.3

30es, he1s there.3

nn looked out of the *indo* thoughtfully for a moment. Then shes*ung round in her s*i!el'chair.

3ncle Peter.3

)r. Pett emerged slo*ly from the comic su--lement.

3Eh73

3&id Jerry )itchell e!er tell you about that friend of his *ho

kee-s a dogs1 hos-ital do*n on (ong %sland some*here7 % forgethis name. 2mithers or 2methurst or something. Peo-le''old ladies,you kno*, and -eo-le''bring him their dogs to be cured *hen theyget sick. #e has an infallible remedy, Jerry tells me. #e makes alot of money at it.3

3)oney73 Pett, the student, became Pett, the financier, at themagic *ord. 3There might be something in that if one got behindit. &ogs are fashionable. There *ould be a market for a reallygood medicine.3



3%1m afraid you couldn1t -ut )r. 2methurst1s remedy on themarket. %t only *orks *hen the dog has been o!ereating himselfand not taking any eercise.3

3Well, that1s all these fancy dogs e!er ha!e the matter *iththem. %t looks to me as if % might do business *ith this man.

%1ll get his address from )itchell.3

3%t1s no use thinking of it, uncle Peter. 0ou couldn1t dobusiness *ith him''in that *ay. ll )r. 2methurst does *hen anyone brings him a fat, unhealthy dog is to feed it net tonothing''just the sim-lest kind of food, you kno*''and make itrun about a lot. nd in about a *eek the dog1s as *ell and ha--yand nice as he can -ossibly be.3

36h,3 said )r. Pett, disa--ointed.

nn touched the keys of her machine softly.

3Why % mentioned )r. 2methurst,3 she said, 3it *as because *e hadbeen talking of 6gden. &on1t you think his treatment *ould bejust *hat 6gden needs73

)r. Pett1s eyes gleamed.

3%t1s a shame he can1t ha!e a *eek or t*o of it43

nn -layed a little tune *ith her finger'ti-s on the desk.

3%t *ould do him good, *ouldn1t it73

2ilence fell u-on the room, broken only by the ta--ing of thety-e*riter. )r. Pett, ha!ing finished the comic su--lement,turned to the s-orting section, for he *as a baseball fan of noluke*arm order. The claims of business did not -ermit him to seeas many games as he could *ish, but he follo*ed the national-astime closely on the -rinted -age and had an admiration for the/a-oleonic gifts of )r. )cGra* *hich *ould ha!e gratified thatgentleman had he kno*n of it.

3ncle Peter,3 said nn, turning round again.

3Eh73

3%t1s funny you should ha!e been talking about 6gden getting

kidna--ed. This story of aunt /esta1s is all about anangel'child''% su--ose it1s meant to be 6gden''being stolen andhidden and all that. %t1s odd that she should *rite stories likethis. 0ou *ouldn1t e-ect it of her.3

30our aunt,3 said )r. Pett, 3lets her mind run on that sort ofthing a good deal. 2he tells me there *as a time, not so longago, *hen half the kidna--ers in merica *ere after him. 2he senthim to school in England''or, rather, her husband did. They *erese-arated then''and, as far as % can follo* the story, they all



took the net boat and besieged the -lace.3

3%t1s a -ity somebody doesn1t smuggle him a*ay no* and kee- himtill he1s a better boy.3

3h43 said )r. Pett *istfully.

nn looked at him fiedly, but his eyes *ere once more on his-a-er. 2he ga!e a little sigh, and turned to her *ork again.

3%t1s uite demoralising, ty-ing aunt /esta1s stories,3 she said.3They -ut ideas into one1s head.3

)r. Pett said nothing. #e *as reading an article of medicalinterest in the maga+ine section, for he *as a man *ho -loughedsteadily through his 2unday -a-er, omitting nothing. Thety-e*riter began ta--ing again.

3Great Godfrey43

nn s*ung round, and ga+ed at her uncle in concern. #e *asstaring blankly at the -a-er.

3What1s the matter73

The -age on *hich )r. Pett1s attention *as concentrated *asdecorated *ith a fanciful -icture in bold lines of a young man ine!ening dress -ursuing a young *oman similarly clad along *hata--eared to be a restaurant su--er'table. n enjoyable time *asa--arently being had by both. cross the -age this legend ran:

P%""&%((0 J%) 6/"E )6$E

The $ecent d!entures of 0oung )r. "rocker

of /e* 0ork and (ondon

%t *as not u-on the title, ho*e!er, nor u-on the illustrationthat )r. Pett1s fascinated eye rested. What he *as looking at *asa small re-roduction of a -hotogra-h *hich had been inserted inthe body of the article. %t *as the -hotogra-h of a *oman in theearly forties, rather formidably handsome, beneath *hich *ere-rinted the *ords:

)rs. /esta 5ord Pett

Well';no*n 2ociety (eader and uthoress

nn had risen and *as -eering o!er his shoulder. 2he fro*ned asshe caught sight of the heading of the -age. Then her eye fellu-on the -hotogra-h.

3Good gracious4 Why ha!e they got aunt /esta1s -icture there73

)r. Pett breathed a dee- and gloomy breath.

3They1!e found out she1s his aunt. % *as afraid they *ould. %



don1t kno* *hat she *ill say *hen she sees this.3

3&on1t let her see it.3

32he has the -a-er do*nstairs. 2he1s -robably reading it no*.3

nn *as glancing through the article.

3%t seems to be much the same sort of thing that they ha!e-ublished before. % can1t understand *hy the <"hronicle< takes suchan interest in Jimmy "rocker.3

3Well, you see he used to be a ne*s-a-er man, and the <"hronicle<*as the -a-er he *orked for.3

nn flushed.

3% kno*,3 she said shortly.

2omething in her tone arrested )r. Pett1s attention.

30es, yes, of course,3 he said hastily. 3% *as forgetting.3

There *as an a*k*ard silence. )r. Pett coughed. The matter ofyoung )r. "rocker1s erst*hile connection *ith the /e* 0ork<"hronicle< *as one *hich they had tacitly decided to refrain frommentioning.

3% didn1t kno* he *as your ne-he*, uncle Peter.3

3/e-he* by marriage,3 corrected )r. Pett a little hurriedly.3/esta1s sister Eugenia married his father.3

3% su--ose that makes me a sort of cousin.3

3 distant cousin.3

3%t can1t be too distant for me.3

There *as a sound of hurried footste-s outside the door. )rs.Pett entered, holding a -a-er in her hand. 2he *a!ed it before)r. Pett1s sym-athetic face.

3% kno*, my dear,3 he said backing. 3nn and % *ere just talkingabout it.3

The little -hotogra-h had not done )rs. Pett justice. 2een

life'si+e, she *as both handsomer and more formidable than shea--eared in re-roduction. 2he *as a large *oman, *ith a finefigure and bold and com-elling eyes, and her -ersonality crasheddisturbingly into the uiet atmos-here of the room. 2he *as thety-e of *oman *hom small, diffident men seem to marryinstincti!ely, as unable to hel- themsel!es as cockleshell boatssucked into a maelstrom.

3What are you going to do about it73 she demanded, sinkinghea!ily into the chair *hich her husband had !acated.



This *as an as-ect of the matter *hich had not occurred to )r.Pett. #e had not contem-lated the -ossibility of actually doinganything. /ature had made him out of office hours essentially a-assi!e organism, and it *as his tendency, *hen he found himselfin a sea of troubles, to float -lainti!ely, not to take armsagainst it. To -ick u- the slings and arro*s of outrageousfortune and fling them back *as not a habit of his. #e scratchedhis chin and said nothing. #e *ent on saying nothing.

3%f Eugenia had had any sense, she *ould ha!e foreseen *hat *ouldha--en if she took the boy a*ay from /e* 0ork *here he *as*orking too hard to get into mischief and let him run loose in(ondon *ith too much money and nothing to do. But, if she had hadany sense, she *ould ne!er ha!e married that im-ossible "rockerman. s % told her.3

)rs. Pett -aused, and her eyes glo*ed *ith reminiscent fire. 2he*as recalling the scene *hich had taken -lace three years agobet*een her sister and herself, *hen Eugenia had told her of her

intention to marry an obscure and middle'aged actor named Bingley"rocker. )rs. Pett had ne!er seen Bingley "rocker, but she hadcondemned the -ro-osed match in terms *hich had ended definitelyand fore!er her relations *ith her sister. Eugenia *as not a*oman *ho *elcomed criticism of her actions. 2he *as cast in thesame formidable mould as )rs. Pett and resembled her strikinglyboth in a--earance and character.

)rs. Pett returned to the -resent. The -ast could look afteritself. The -resent demanded surgery.

36ne *ould ha!e thought it *ould ha!e been ob!ious e!en toEugenia that a boy of t*enty'one needed regular *ork.3

)r. Pett *as glad to come out of his shell here. #e *as the-ostle of Work, and this sentiment -leased him.

3That1s right,3 he said. 3E!ery boy ought to ha!e *ork.3

3(ook at this young "rocker1s record since he *ent to li!e in(ondon. #e is al*ays doing something to make himself notorious.There *as that breach'of'-romise case, and that fight at the-olitical meeting, and his esca-ades at )onte "arlo, and''ande!erything. nd he must be drinking himself to death. % thinkEugenia1s insane. 2he seems to ha!e no influence o!er him atall.3

)r. Pett moaned sym-athetically.

3nd no* the -a-ers ha!e found out that % am his aunt, and %su--ose they *ill -rint my -hotogra-h *hene!er they -ublish anarticle about him.3

2he ceased and sat rigid *ith just *rath. )r. Pett, *ho al*aysfelt his res-onsibilities as chorus keenly during these *ifelymonologues, surmised that a remark from him *as indicated.



3%t1s tough,3 he said.

)rs. Pett turned on him like a *ounded tigress.

3What is the use of saying that7 %t1s no use saying anything.3

3/o, no,3 said )r. Pett, -rudently refraining from -ointing out

that she had already said a good deal.

30ou must do something.3

nn entered the con!ersation for the first time. 2he *as not !eryfond of her aunt, and liked her least *hen she *as bullying )r.Pett. There *as something in )rs. Pett1s character *ith *hich theim-eriousness *hich lay beneath nn1s cheerful attitude to*ardsthe *orld *as e!er at *ar.

3What can uncle Peter -ossibly do73 she inuired.

3Why, get the boy back to merica and make him *ork. %t1s theonly -ossible thing.3

3But is it -ossible73

36f course it is.3

3ssuming that Jimmy "rocker *ould acce-t an in!itation to comeo!er to merica, *hat sort of *ork could he do here7 #e couldn1tget his -lace on the <"hronicle< back again after dro--ing out forall these years and making a -ublic -est of himself all that*hile. nd outside of ne*s-a-er *ork *hat is he fit for73

3)y dear child, don1t make difficulties.3

3%1m not. These are ready'made.3

)r. Pett inter-osed. #e *as al*ays ner!ously a--rehensi!e of aclash bet*een these t*o. nn had red hair and the nature *hichgenerally goes *ith red hair. 2he *as im-ulsi!e and uick oftongue, and''as he remembered her father had al*ays been''alittle too ready for combat. 2he *as usually as uicklyremorseful as she *as uickly -ugnacious, like most -ersons ofher colour. #er offer to ty-e the story *hich no* lay on her deskhad been the amende honourable follo*ing on just such a scene*ith her aunt as this -romised to be. )r. Pett had no *ish to seethe truce thus consummated broken almost before it had had time

to o-erate.

3% could gi!e the boy a job in my office,3 he suggested.

Gi!ing young men jobs in his office *as *hat )r. Pett liked doingbest. There *ere si brilliant youths li!ing in his house andbursting *ith his food at that !ery moment *hom he *ould ha!ebeen delighted to start addressing en!elo-es do*n'to*n.

/otably his *ife1s ne-he*, Willie Partridge, *hom he looked on as



a s-ecious loafer. #e had a stubborn disbelief in the e-losi!e

that *as to re!olutionise *ar. #e kne*, as all the *orld did,that Willie1s late father had been a great in!entor, but he didnot acce-t the fact that Willie had inherited the dead man1sgenius. #e regarded the e-eriments on Partridgite, as it *as to

be called, *ith the -rofoundest sce-ticism, and considered thatthe only thing Willie had e!er in!ented or *as likely to in!ent*as a series of ingenious schemes for li!ing in fatted idlenesson other -eo-le1s money.

3Eactly,3 said )rs. Pett, delighted at the suggestion. 3The !erything.3

3Will you *rite and suggest it73 said )r. Pett, basking in thesunshine of un*onted commendation.

3What *ould be the use of *riting7 Eugenia *ould -ay noattention. Besides, % could not say all % *ished to in a letter.

/o, the only thing is to go o!er to England and see her. % shalls-eak !ery -lainly to her. % shall -oint out *hat an ad!antage it*ill be to the boy to be in your office and to li!e here. . . .3

nn started.

30ou don1t mean li!e here''in this house73

36f course. There *ould be no sense in bringing the boy all the*ay o!er from England if he *as to be allo*ed to run loose *henhe got here.3

)r. Pett coughed de-recatingly.

3% don1t think that *ould he !ery -leasant for nn, dear.3

3Why in the name of goodness should nn object73

nn mo!ed to*ards the door.

3Thank you for thinking of it, uncle Peter. 0ou1re al*ays a dear.But don1t *orry about me. &o just as you *ant to. %n any case %1muite certain that you *on1t be able to get him to come o!erhere. 0ou can see by the -a-er he1s ha!ing far too good a time in(ondon. 0ou can call Jimmy "rockers from the !asty dee-, but *illthey come *hen you call for them73

)rs. Pett looked at the door as it closed behind her, then at herhusband.

3What do you mean, Peter, about nn7 Why *ouldn1t it be -leasantfor her if this "rocker boy came to li!e *ith us73

)r. Pett hesitated.

3Well, it1s like this, /esta. % ho-e you *on1t tell her % toldyou. 2he1s sensiti!e about it, -oor girl. %t all ha--ened before



you and % *ere married. nn *as much younger then. 0ou kno* *hatschoolgirls are, kind of foolish and sentimental. %t *as my faultreally, % ought to ha!e . . .3

3Good #ea!ens, Peter4 What are you trying to tell me73

32he *as only a child.3

)rs. Pett rose in slo* horror.

3Peter4 Tell me4 &on1t try to break it gently.3

3nn *rote a book of -oetry and % had it -ublished for her.3

)rs. Pett sank back in her chair.

36h43 she said''it *ould ha!e been hard to say *hether *ithrelief or disa--ointment. 3Whate!er did you make such a fuss for7Why did you *ant to be so mysterious73

3%t *as all my fault, really,3 -roceeded )r. Pett. 3% ought toha!e kno*n better. ll % thought of at the time *as that it *ould-lease the child to see the -oems in -rint and be able to gi!ethe book to her friends. 2he did gi!e it to her friends,3 he *enton ruefully, 3and e!er since she1s been trying to li!e it do*n.%1!e seen her bite a young fello*1s head off *hen he tried tomake a grand'stand -lay *ith her by uoting her -oems *hich he1dfound in his sister1s book'shelf.3

3But, in the name of goodness, *hat has all this to do *ith young"rocker73

3Why, it *as this *ay. )ost of the -a-ers just ga!e nn1s book amention among 1=olumes $ecei!ed,1 or a cou-le of lines thatdidn1t amount to anything, but the <"hronicle< sa* a 2unday featurein it, as nn *as going about a lot then and *as a *ell'kno*nsociety girl. They sent this "rocker boy to get an inter!ie* fromher, all about her methods of *ork and ins-irations and *hat not.We ne!er sus-ected it *asn1t the straight goods. Why, that !erye!ening % mailed an order for a hundred co-ies to be sent to me*hen the thing a--eared. nd''3 -inkness came u-on )r. Pett atthe recollection 3it *as just a josh from start to finish. Theyoung hound made a joke of the -oems and *hat nn had told himabout her ins-irations and uoted bits of the -oems just to kidthe life out of them. . . . % thought nn *ould ne!er get o!erit. Well, it doesn1t *orry her any more''she1s gro*n out of theschool'girl stage''but you can bet she isn1t going to get u- and

gi!e three cheers and a tiger if you bring young "rocker to li!ein the same house.3

3tterly ridiculous43 said )rs. Pett. 3% certainly do not intendto alter my -lans because of a tri!ial incident that ha--enedyears ago. We *ill sail on Wednesday.3

3=ery *ell, my dear,3 said )r. Pett resignedly.

3Just as you say. Er''just you and %73



3nd 6gden, of course.3

)r. Pett controlled a facial s-asm *ith a -o*erful effort of the*ill. #e had feared this.

3% *ouldn1t dream of lea!ing him here *hile % *ent a*ay, after*hat ha--ened *hen -oor dear Elmer sent him to school in Englandthat time.3 The late )r. 5ord had s-ent most of his married lifeeither uarrelling *ith or se-arated from his *ife, but sincedeath he had been canonised as 1-oor dear Elmer.1 3Besides, thesea !oyage *ill do the -oor darling good. #e has not been lookingat all *ell lately.3

3%f 6gden1s coming, %1d like to take nn.3

3Why73

32he can''3 he sought for a eu-hemism.

3;ee- in order3 *as the e-ression he *ished to a!oid. To hismind nn *as the only kno*n antidote for 6gden, but he felt it*ould be im-olitic to say so.3''look after him on the boat,3 heconcluded. 30ou kno* you are a bad sailor.3

3=ery *ell. Bring nn''6h, Peter, that reminds me of *hat %*anted to say to you, *hich this dreadful thing in the -a-erdro!e com-letely out of my mind. (ord Wisbeach has asked nn tomarry him43

)r. Pett looked a little hurt. 32he didn1t tell me.3 nn usuallyconfided in him.

32he didn1t tell me, either. (ord Wisbeach told me. #e said nnhad -romised to think it o!er, and gi!e him his ans*er later.)ean*hile, he had come to me to assure himself that % a--ro!ed. %thought that so charming of him.3

)r. Pett *as fro*ning.

32he hasn1t acce-ted him73

3/ot definitely.3

3% ho-e she doesn1t.3

3&on1t be foolish, Peter. %t *ould be an ecellent match.3

)r. Pett shuffled his feet.

3% don1t like him. There1s something too darned smooth about thatfello*.3

3%f you mean that his manners are -erfect, % agree *ith you. %shall do all in my -o*er to induce nn to acce-t him.3

3% shouldn1t,3 said )r. Pett, *ith more decision than *as his



*ont. 30ou kno* *hat nn is if you try to force her to doanything. 2he gets her ears back and *on1t budge. #er father isjust the same. When *e *ere boys together, sometimes''3

3&on1t be absurd, Peter. s if % should dream of trying to forcenn to do anything.3

3We don1t kno* anything of this fello*. T*o *eeks ago *e didn1tkno* he *as on the earth.3

3What do *e need to kno* beyond his name73

)r. Pett said nothing, but he *as not con!inced. The (ordWisbeach under discussion *as a -leasant's-oken and -resentableyoung man *ho had called at )r. Pett1s office a short *hilebefore to consult him about in!esting some money. #e had broughta letter of introduction from #ammond "hester, nn1s father, *homhe had met in "anada, *here the latter *as at -resent engaged inthe com-arati!ely mild occu-ation of bass'fishing. With theirbusiness talk the acuaintance *ould ha!e begun and finished, if

)r. Pett had been able to -lease himself, for he had not taken afancy to (ord Wisbeach. But he *as an merican, *ith anmerican1s sense of hos-itality, and, the young man being afriend of #ammond "hester, he had felt bound to in!ite him to$i!erside &ri!e''*ith misgi!ings *hich *ere no*, he felt,com-letely justified.

3nn ought to marry,3 said )rs. Pett. 32he gets her o*n *ay toomuch no*. #o*e!er, it is entirely her o*n affair, and there isnothing that *e can do.3 2he rose. 3% only ho-e she *ill besensible.3

2he *ent out, lea!ing )r. Pett gloomier than she had found him.#e hated the idea of nn marrying (ord Wisbeach, *ho, e!en if hehad had no faults at all, *ould be objectionable in that he *ould-robably take her to li!e three thousand miles a*ay in his o*ncountry. The thought of losing nn o--ressed )r. Pett sorely.

nn, mean*hile, had made her *ay do*n the -assage to the gymnasium*hich )r. Pett, in the interests of his health, had caused to beconstructed in a large room at the end of the house''a room designedby the original o*ner, *ho had had artistic leanings, for a studio.The <ta-'ta-'ta-< of the leather bag had ceased, but !oices from*ithin told her that Jerry )itchell, )r. Pett1s -ri!ate -hysicalinstructor, *as still there. 2he *ondered *ho *as his com-anion, andfound on o-ening the door that it *as 6gden. The boy *as leaningagainst the *all and regarding Jerry *ith a dull and su-ercilious

ga+e *hich the latter *as -lainly finding it hard to bear.

30es, sir43 6gden *as saying, as nn entered. 3% heard Biggsasking her to come for a joyride.3

3% bet she turned him do*n,3 said Jerry )itchell sullenly.

3% bet she didn1t. Why should she7 Biggs is an a*ful good'lookingfello*.3



3What are you talking about, 6gden73 said nn.

3% *as telling him that Biggs asked "elestine to go for a ride inthe car *ith him.3

3%1ll knock his block off,3 muttered the incensed Jerry.

6gden laughed derisi!ely.

30es, you *ill4 )other *ould fire you if you touched him. 2he*ouldn1t stand for ha!ing her chauffeur beaten u-.3

Jerry )itchell turned an a--ealing face to nn. 6gden1sre!elations and es-ecially his eulogy of Biggs1 -ersonala--earance had tormented him. #e kne* that, in his *ooing of )rs.Pett1s maid, "elestine, he *as handica--ed by his looks,concerning *hich he had no illusions. /o donis to begin *ith, hehad been so edited and re'edited during a long and -ros-erousring career by the glo!ed fists of a hundred foes that in affairsof the heart he *as obliged to rely eclusi!ely on moral *orth

and charm of manner. #e belonged to the old school of fighters*ho looked the -art, and in these days of -ugilists *ho resemblematinee idols he had the a--earance of an anachronism. #e *as astocky man *ith a round, solid head, small eyes, an undershotja*, and a nose *hich ill'treatment had reduced to a merescenario. narro* stri- of forehead acted as a kind ofbuffer'state, se-arating his front hair from his eyebro*s, and hebore beyond ho-e of concealment the badge of his late em-loyment,the cauliflo*er ear. 0et *as he a man of *orth and a goodciti+en, and nn had liked him from their first meeting. s forJerry, he *orshi--ed nn and *ould ha!e done anything she askedhim. E!er since he had disco!ered that nn *as *illing to listento and sym-athise *ith his out-ourings on the subject of histroubled *ooing, he had been her sla!e.

nn came to the rescue in characteristically direct fashion.

3Get out, 6gden,3 she said.

6gden tried to meet her eye mutinously, but failed. Why he shouldbe afraid of nn he had ne!er been able to understand, but it *asa fact that she *as the only -erson of his acuaintance *hom heres-ected. 2he had a bright eye and a calm, im-erious stare *hichne!er failed to tame him.

3Why73 he muttered. 30ou1re not my boss.3

3Be uick, 6gden.3

3What1s the big idea''ordering a fello*''3

3nd close the door gently behind you,3 said nn. 2he turned toJerry, as the order *as obeyed.

3#as he been bothering you, Jerry73

Jerry )itchell *i-ed his forehead.



32ay, if that kid don1t uit butting in *hen %1m *orking in thegym''0ou heard *hat he *as saying about )aggie, )iss nn73

"elestine had been born )aggie 61Toole, a name *hich )rs. Pettstoutly refused to countenance in any maid of hers.

3Why on earth do you -ay any attention to him, Jerry7 0ou mustha!e seen that he *as making it all u-. #e s-ends his *hole time*andering about till he finds some one he can torment, and thenhe enjoys himself. )aggie *ould ne!er dream of going out in thecar *ith Biggs.3

Jerry )itchell sighed a sigh of relief.

3%t1s great for a fello* to ha!e you in his corner, )iss nn.3

nn *ent to the door and o-ened it. 2he looked do*n the -assage,then, satisfied as to its em-tiness, returned to her seat.

3Jerry, % *ant to talk to you. % ha!e an idea. 2omething % *antyou to do for me.3

30es, )iss nn73

3We1!e got to do something about that child, 6gden. #e1s been*orrying uncle Peter again, and %1m not going to ha!e it. %*arned him once that, if he did it again, a*ful things *ouldha--en to him, but he didn1t belie!e me. % su--ose, Jerry''*hatsort of a man is your friend, )r. 2methurst73

3&o you mean 2mithers, )iss nn73

3% kne* it *as either 2mithers or 2methurst. The dog man, % mean.%s he a man you can trust73

3With my last buck. %1!e kno*n him since *e *ere kids.3

3% don1t mean as regards money. % am going to send 6gden to himfor treatment, and % *ant to kno* if % can rely on him to hel-me.3

35or the lo!e of )ike.3

Jerry )itchell, after an instant of stunned be*ilderment, *aslooking at her *ith *orshi--ing admiration. #e had al*ays kno*nthat )iss nn -ossessed a mind of no common order, but this, he

felt, *as genius. 5or a moment the magnificence of the idea tookhis breath a*ay.

3&o you mean that you1re going to kidna- him, )iss nn73

30es. That is to say, <you< are''if % can -ersuade you to doit for me.3

32neak him a*ay and send him to Bud 2mithers1 dog'hos-ital73



35or treatment. % like )r. 2mithers1 methods. % think they *oulddo 6gden all the good in the *orld.3

Jerry *as enthusiastic.

3Why, Bud *ould make him -art'human. But, say, isn1t it takingbig chances7 ;idna--ing1s a -enitentiary offence.3

3This isn1t that sort of kidna--ing.3

3Well, it1s mighty like it.3

3% don1t think you need be afraid of the -enitentiary. % can1tsee aunt /esta -rosecuting, *hen it *ould mean that she *ouldha!e to charge us *ith ha!ing sent 6gden to a dogs1 hos-ital. 2helikes -ublicity, but it has to be the right kind of -ublicity./o, *e do run a risk, but it isn1t that one. 0ou run the risk oflosing your job here, and % should certainly be sent to mygrandmother for an indefinite sentence. 0ou1!e ne!er seen mygrandmother, ha!e you, Jerry7 2he1s the only -erson in the *orld

%1m afraid of4 2he li!es miles from any*here and has family-rayers at se!en'thirty shar- e!ery morning. Well, %1m ready torisk her, if you1re ready to risk your job, in such a good cause.0ou kno* you1re just as fond of uncle Peter as % am, and 6gden is*orrying him into a breakdo*n. 2urely you *on1t refuse to hel-me, Jerry73

Jerry rose and etended a calloused hand.

3When do *e start73

nn shook the hand *armly.

3Thank you, Jerry. 0ou1re a je*el. % en!y )aggie. Well, % don1tthink *e can do anything till they come back from England, asaunt /esta is sure to take 6gden *ith her.3

3Who1s going to England73

3ncle Peter and aunt /esta *ere talking just no* of sailing totry and -ersuade a young man named "rocker to come back here.3

3"rocker7 Jimmy "rocker7 Piccadilly Jim73

30es. Why, do you kno* him73

3% used to meet him sometimes *hen he *as *orking on the

<"hronicle< here. (ooks as if he *as cutting a *ide s*athe in dearold (ondon. &id you see the -a-er to'day73

30es, that1s *hat made aunt /esta *ant to bring him o!er. 6fcourse, there isn1t the remotest chance that she *ill be able tomake him come. Why should he come73

3(ast time % sa* Jimmy "rocker,3 said Jerry, 3it *as a cou-le ofyears ago, *hen % *ent o!er to train Eddie 5lynn for his go *ithPorky Jones at the /ational. % bum-ed into him at the /. 2. ". #e



*as a good deal tanked.3

3#e1s al*ays drinking, % belie!e.3

3#e took me to su--er at some s*ell joint *here they all had thesou-'and'fish on but me. % felt like a dirty deuce in a cleandeck. #e used to be a regular fello*, Jimmy "rocker, but from*hat you read in the -a-ers it begins to look as if he *ashitting it u- too s*ift. %t1s al*ays the *ay *ith those boys *henyou take them off a steady job and let them run around loose *iththeir jeans full of ma+uma.3

3That1s eactly *hy % *ant to do something about 6gden. %f he1sallo*ed to go on as he is at -resent, he *ill gro* u- eactlylike Jimmy "rocker.3

3*, Jimmy "rocker ain1t in 6gden1s class,3 -rotested Jerry.

30es, he is. There1s absolutely no difference bet*een them.3

32ay4 0ou1!e got it in for Jim, ha!en1t you, )iss nn73 Jerrylooked at her *onderingly. 3What1s your kick against him73

nn bit her li-. 3% object to him on -rinci-le,3 she said. 3%don1t like his ty-e. . . . Well, %1m glad *e1!e settled thisabout 6gden, Jerry. % kne* % could rely on you. But % *on1t letyou do it for nothing. ncle Peter shall gi!e you something forit''enough to start that health'farm you talk about so much.Then you can marry )aggie and li!e ha--ily e!er after*ards.3

3Gee4 %s the boss in on this, too73

3/ot yet. %1m going to tell him no*. #ush4 There1s some one

coming.3

)r. Pett *andered in. #e *as still looking troubled.

36h, nn''good morning, )itchell''your aunt has decided to go toEngland. % *ant you to come, too.3

30ou *ant me7 To hel- inter!ie* Jimmy "rocker73

3/o, no. Just to come along and be com-any on the !oyage. 0ou1llbe such a hel- *ith 6gden, nn. 0ou can kee- him in order. #o*you do it, % don1t kno*. 0ou seem to make another boy of him.3

nn stole a glance at Jerry, *ho ans*ered *ith an encouraginggrin. nn *as constrained to make her meaning -lainer than by thelanguage of the eye.

3Would you mind just running a*ay for half a moment, Jerry73 shesaid *inningly. 3% *ant to say something to uncle Peter.3

32ure. 2ure.3

nn turned to )r. Pett as the door closed.



30ou1d like somebody to make 6gden a different boy, *ouldn1t you,uncle Peter73

3% *ish it *as -ossible.3

3#e1s been *orrying you a lot lately, hasn1t he73 asked nnsym-athetically.

30es,3 sighed )r. Pett.

3Then that1s all right,3 said nn briskly. 3% *as afraid that youmight not a--ro!e. But, if you do, %1ll go right ahead.3

)r. Pett started !iolently. There *as something in nn1s !oiceand, as he looked at her, something in her face *hich made himfear the *orst. #er eyes *ere flashing *ith an ins-ired light ofa highly belligerent nature, and the sun turned the red hair to*hich she o*ed her de-lorable *ant of balance to a mass of flame.There *as something in the air. )r. Pett sensed it *ith e!ery

ner!e of his a--rehensi!e -erson. #e ga+ed at nn, and as he didso the years seemed to sli- from him and he *as a boy again,about to be urged to la*less courses by the su-erior *ill of hisboyhood1s hero, #ammond "hester. %n the boyhood of nearly e!eryman there is a single outstanding figure, some one youthfulhy-notic /a-oleon *hose *ill *as la* and at *hose bidding hisbetter judgment curled u- and died. %n )r. Pett1s life nn1sfather had filled this role. #e had dominated )r. Pett at an age*hen the mind is most malleable. nd no*''so true is it thatthough Time may blunt our boyish memories the traditions ofboyhood li!e on in us and an emotional crisis *ill bring them tothe surface as an e-losion brings u- the fish that lurk in thenethermost mud''it *as as if he *ere facing the youthful #ammond"hester again and being irresistibly im-elled to some course of*hich he entirely disa--ro!ed but *hich he kne* that he *asdestined to undertake. #e *atched nn as a tra--ed man might*atch a ticking bomb, bracing himself for the e-losion andkno*ing that he is hel-less. 2he *as #ammond "hester1s daughter,and she s-oke to him *ith the !oice of #ammond "hester. 2he *asher father1s child and she *as going to start something.

3%1!e arranged it all *ith Jerry,3 said nn. 3#e1s going to hel-me smuggle 6gden a*ay to that friend of his % told you about *hokee-s the dog'hos-ital: and the friend is going to kee- him untilhe reforms. %sn1t it a -erfectly s-lendid idea73

)r. Pett blanched. The frightfulness of reality had eceeded

antici-ation.

3But, nn43

The *ords came from him in a strangled bleat. #is *hole being *as-aralysed by a clammy horror. This *as beyond the uttermost limitof his fears. nd, to com-lete the terror of the moment, he kne*,e!en *hile he rebelled against the insane la*lessness of herscheme, that he *as going to agree to it, and''*orst of all''thatdee-, dee- do*n in him there *as a feeling to*ard it *hich did



not dare to come to the surface but *hich he kne* to be a--ro!al.

36f course Jerry *ould do it for nothing,3 said nn, 3but %-romised him that you *ould gi!e him something for his trouble.0ou can arrange all that yoursel!es later.3

3But, nn4 . . . But, nn4 . . . 2u--ose your aunt finds out *hodid it43

3Well, there *ill be a tremendous ro*43 said nn com-osedly.3nd you *ill ha!e to assert yourself. %t *ill be a s-lendidthing for you. 0ou kno* you are much too kind to e!ery one, unclePeter. % don1t think there1s any one *ho *ould -ut u- *ith *hatyou do. 5ather told me in one of his letters that he used to callyou Patient Pete as a boy.3

)r. Pett started. /ot for many a day had a nickname *hich heconsidered the most distasteful of all -ossible nicknames risenu- from its gra!e to haunt him. Patient Pete4 #e had thought there-ulsi!e title buried fore!er in the same tomb as his dead

youth. Patient Pete4 The first faint glimmer of the flame ofrebellion began to burn in his bosom.

3Patient Pete43

3Patient Pete43 said nn ineorably.

3But, nn,3''there *as -athos in )r. Pett1s !oice''3% like a-eaceful life.3

30ou1ll ne!er ha!e one if you don1t stand u- for yourself. 0oukno* uite *ell that father is right. 0ou do let e!ery onetram-le on you. &o you think father *ould let 6gden *orry him andha!e his house filled *ith affected imitation geniuses so that hecouldn1t find a room to be alone in73

3But, nn, your father is different. #e likes fusses. %1!e kno*nyour father contradict a man *eighing t*o hundred -ounds out ofsheer euberance. There1s a lot of your father in you, nn. %1!eoften noticed it.3

3There is4 That1s *hy %1m going to make you -ut your foot do*nsooner or later. 0ou1re going to turn all these loafers out ofthe house. nd first of all you1re going to hel- us send 6gdena*ay to )r. 2mithers.3

There *as a long silence.

3%t1s your red hair43 said )r. Pett at length, *ith the air of aman *ho has been sol!ing a -roblem. 3%t1s your red hair thatmakes you like this, nn. 0our father has red hair, too.3

nn laughed.

3%t1s not my fault that % ha!e red hair, uncle Peter. %t1s mymisfortune.3



)r. Pett shook his head.

36ther -eo-le1s misfortune, too43 he said.

"#PTE$ %%

T#E E>%(E& 5/

(ondon brooded under a grey sky. There had been rain in thenight, and the trees *ere still dri--ing. Presently, ho*e!er,there a--eared in the laden ha+e a *atery -atch of blue: andthrough this cre!ice in the clouds the sun, diffidently at firstbut *ith gradually increasing confidence, -ee-ed do*n on thefashionable and eclusi!e turf of Gros!enor 2uare. 2tealingacross the suare, its rays reached the massi!e stone *alls of&redale #ouse, until recently the (ondon residence of the earlof that name9 then, -assing through the *indo* of the

breakfast'room, -layed lightly on the -artially bald head of )r.Bingley "rocker, late of /e* 0ork in the nited 2tates ofmerica, as he bent o!er his morning -a-er. )rs. Bingley "rocker,busy across the table reading her mail, the rays did not touch.#ad they done so, she *ould ha!e rung for Bayliss, the butler, tocome and lo*er the shade, for she endured liberties neither from)an nor from /ature.

)r. "rocker *as about fifty years of age, clean'sha!en and of acomfortable stoutness. #e *as fro*ning as he read. #is smooth,good'humoured face *ore an e-ression *hich might ha!e beendisgust, -er-leity, or a blend of both. #is *ife, on the otherhand, *as looking ha--y. 2he etracted the substance from hercorres-ondence *ith s*ift glances of her com-elling eyes, just asshe *ould ha!e etracted guilty secrets from Bingley, if he hadhad any. This *as a *oman *ho, like her sister /esta, had beenable all her life to accom-lish more *ith a glance than other*omen *ith recrimination and threat. %t had been a -o-ular beliefamong his friends that her late husband, the *ell'kno*n Pittsburgmillionaire G. G. !an Brunt, had been in the habit ofautomatically confessing all if he merely caught the eye of her-hotogra-h on his dressing table.

5rom the gro*ing -ile of o-ened en!elo-es )rs. "rocker looked u-,a smile softening the firm line of her li-s.

3 card from (ady "orstor-hine, Bingley, for her at'home on thet*enty'ninth.3

)r. "rocker, still absorbed, snorted absently.

36ne of the most eclusi!e hostesses in England. . . . 2he hasinfluence *ith the right sort of -eo-le. #er brother, the &uke of&e!i+es, is the Premier1s oldest friend.3

3h73



3The &uchess of minster has *ritten to ask me to look after astall at her ba+aar for the %ndigent &aughters of the "lergy.3

3#uh73

3Bingley4 0ou aren1t listening. What is that you are reading73

)r. "rocker tore himself from the -a-er.

3This7 6h, % *as looking at a re-ort of that cricket game youmade me go and see yesterday.3

36h7 % am glad you ha!e begun to take an interest in cricket. %tis sim-ly a social necessity in England. Why you e!er made such afuss about taking it u-, % can1t think. 0ou used to be so fond of*atching baseball and cricket is just the same thing.3

close obser!er *ould ha!e marked a dee-ening of the look of-ain on )r. "rocker1s face. Women say this sort of thing

carelessly, *ith no *ish to *ound: but that makes it none theless hard to bear.

5rom the hall outside came faintly the sound of the tele-hone,then the measured tones of Bayliss ans*ering it. )r. "rockerreturned to his -a-er.

Bayliss entered.

3(ady "orstor-hine desires to s-eak to you on the tele-hone,madam.3

#alf'*ay to the door )rs. "rocker -aused, as if recallingsomething that had sli--ed her memory.

3%s )r. James getting u-, Bayliss73

3% belie!e not, madam. % am informed by one of the house'maids*ho -assed his door a short time back that there *ere no sounds.3

)rs. "rocker left the room. Bayliss, -re-aring to follo* heream-le, *as arrested by an eclamation from the table.

32ay43

#is master1s !oice.

32ay, Bayliss, come here a minute. Want to ask you something.3

The butler a--roached the table. %t seemed to him that hisem-loyer *as not looking uite himself this morning. There *assomething a trifle *ild, a little haggard, about his e-ression.#e had remarked on it earlier in the morning in the 2er!ants1#all.

s a matter of fact, )r. "rocker1s ailment *as a -erfectly sim-leone. #e *as suffering from one of those acute s-asms of



home'sickness, *hich in!ariably racked him in the earlier 2ummermonths. E!er since his marriage fi!e years -re!iously and hissimultaneous remo!al from his nati!e land he had been a chronic!ictim to the com-laint. The sym-toms gre* less acute in Winterand 2-ring, but from )ay on*ard he suffered se!erely.

Poets ha!e dealt feelingly *ith the emotions of -ractically e!ery!ariety ece-t one. They ha!e sung of $uth, of %srael in bondage,of sla!es -ining for their nati!e frica, and of the miner1sdream of home. But the sorro*s of the baseball bug, com-elled byfate to li!e three thousand miles a*ay from the Polo Grounds,ha!e been neglected in song. Bingley "rocker *as such a one, andin 2ummer his agonies *ere a*ful. #e -ined a*ay in a country*here they said 3Well -layed, sir43 *hen they meant 31at'a'boy43

3Bayliss, do you -lay cricket73

3% am a little -ast the age, sir. %n my younger days . . .3

3&o you understand it73

30es, sir. % freuently s-end an afternoon at (ord1s or the 6!al*hen there is a good match.3

)any *ho enjoyed a merely casual acuaintance *ith the butler*ould ha!e looked on this as an astonishingly une-ectedre!elation of humanity in Bayliss, but )r. "rocker *as notsur-rised. To him, from the !ery beginning, Bayliss had been aman and a brother *ho *as al*ays *illing to sus-end his duties inorder to ans*er uestions dealing *ith the thousand and one-roblems *hich the social life of England -resented. )r."rocker1s mind had adjusted itself *ith difficulty to theniceties of class distinction: and, *hile he had cured himself ofhis early tendency to address the butler as 3Bill,3 he ne!erfailed to consult him as man to man in his moments of -er-leity.Bayliss *as al*ays eager to be of assistance. #e liked )r."rocker. True, his manner might ha!e struck a more sensiti!e manthan his em-loyer as a shade too closely resembling that of anindulgent father to*ards a son *ho *as not uite right in thehead: but it had genuine affection in it.

)r. "rocker -icked u- his -a-er and folded it back at thes-orting -age, -ointing *ith a stubby forefinger.

3Well, *hat does all this mean7 %1!e ke-t out of *atching cricketsince % landed in England, but yesterday they got the -oisonneedle to *ork and took me off to see 2urrey -lay ;ent at that

-lace (ord1s *here you say you go sometimes.3

3% *as there yesterday, sir. !ery eciting game.3

3Eciting7 #o* do you make that out7 % sat in the bleachers allafternoon, *aiting for something to break loose. &oesn1t anythinge!er ha--en at cricket73

The butler *inced a little, but managed to smile a tolerantsmile. This man, he reflected, *as but an merican and as such



more to be -itied than censured. #e endea!oured to e-lain.

3%t *as a sticky *icket yesterday, sir, o*ing to the rain.3

3Eh73

3The *icket *as sticky, sir.3

3"ome again.3

3% mean that the reason *hy the game yesterday struck you as slo**as that the *icket''% should say the turf''*as sticky''that isto say *et. 2ticky is the technical term, sir. When the *icket issticky, the batsmen are obliged to eercise a great deal ofcaution, as the stickiness of the *icket enables the bo*lers tomake the ball turn more shar-ly in either direction as it strikesthe turf than *hen the *icket is not sticky.3

3That1s it, is it73

30es, sir.3

3Thanks for telling me.3

3/ot at all, sir.3

)r. "rocker -ointed to the -a-er.

3Well, no*, this seems to be the bo'score of the game *e sa*yesterday. %f you can make sense out of that, go to it.3

The -assage on *hich his finger rested *as headed 35inal 2core,3and ran as follo*s:

2$$E0

5irst %nnings

#ay*ard, c Wooley, b "arr ....... ?@ #obbs, run out ................... A #ayes, st #uish, b 5ielder ...... C &ucat, b 5ielder ................ DD #arrison, not out ............... 2andham, not out ................. ? Etras .......................... A

Total for four *icketsF ....... D

Bayliss ins-ected the ci-her gra!ely.

3What is it you *ish me to e-lain, sir73

3Why, the *hole thing. What1s it all about73

3%t1s -erfectly sim-le, sir. 2urrey *on the toss, and took firstknock. #ay*ard and #obbs *ere the o-ening -air. #ay*ard called#obbs for a short run, but the latter *as unable to get across



and *as thro*n out by mid'on. #ayes *as the net man in. #e *entout of his ground and *as stum-ed. &ucat and #ay*ard made aca-ital stand considering the stickiness of the *icket, until&ucat *as bo*led by a good length off'break and #ay*ard caught atsecond sli- off a googly. Then #arrison and 2andham -layed outtime.3

)r. "rocker breathed hea!ily through his nose.

30es43 he said. 30es4 % had an idea that *as it. But % think %1dlike to ha!e it once again, slo*ly. 2tart *ith these figures.What does that sity'se!en mean, o--osite #ay*ard1s name73

3#e made sity'se!en runs, sir.3

32ity'se!en4 %n one game73

30es, sir.3

3Why, #ome'$un Baker couldn1t do it43

3% am not familiar *ith )r. Baker, sir.3

3% su--ose you1!e ne!er seen a ball'game73

3Ball'game, sir73

3 baseball game73

3/e!er, sir.3

3Then, Bill,3 said )r. "rocker, re!erting in his emotion to thebad habit of his early (ondon days, 3you ha!en1t li!ed. 2eehere43

Whate!er !estige of res-ect for class distinctions )r. "rockerhad managed to -reser!e during the o-ening stages of theinter!ie* no* definitely disa--eared. #is eyes shone *ildly andhe snorted like a *ar'horse. #e clutched the butler by the slee!eand dre* him closer to the table, then began to mo!e forks,s-oons, cu-s, and e!en the contents of his -late about the cloth*ith an energy little short of fe!erish.

3Bayliss43

32ir73

3Watch43 said )r. "rocker, *ith the air of an ecitable high-riest about to initiate a no!ice into the )ysteries.

#e remo!ed a roll from the basket.

30ou see this roll7 That1s the home -late. This s-oon is firstbase. Where %1m -utting this cu- is second. This -iece of baconis third. There1s your diamond for you. =ery *ell, then. Theselum-s of sugar are the infielders and the outfielders. /o* *e1reready. Batter u-7 #e stands here. "atcher behind him. m-s behind



catcher.3

3m-s, % take it, sir, is *hat *e *ould call the um-ire73

3"all him anything you like. %t1s -art of the game. /o* here1sthe bo, *here %1!e -ut this dab of marmalade, and here1s the-itcher, *inding u-.3

3The -itcher *ould be eui!alent to our bo*ler73

3% guess so, though *hy you should call him a bo*ler gets -astme.3

3The bo, then, is the bo*ler1s *icket73

3#a!e it your o*n *ay. /o* -ay attention. Play ball4 Pitcher1s*inding u-. Put it o!er, )ike, -ut it o!er4 2ome s-eed, kid4 #ereit comes, right in the groo!e. Bing4 Batter slams it and streaksfor first. 6utfielder''this lum- of sugar''boots it. Bonehead4Batter touches second. Third7 /o4 Get back4 "an1t be done. Play

it safe. 2tick around the sack, old -al. 2econd batter u-.Pitcher getting something on the ball no* besides the co!er.Whiffs him. Back to the bench, "yril4 Third batter u-. 2ee himrub his hands in the dirt. Watch this kid. #e1s good4 #e letst*o alone, then slams the net right on the nose. Whi++es aroundto second. 5irst guy, the one *e left on second, comes home forone run. That1s a game4 Take it from me, Bill, that1s a <game4<3

2ome*hat o!ercome *ith the energy *ith *hich he had flung himselfinto his lecture, )r. "rocker sat do*n and refreshed himself *ithcold coffee.

38uite an interesting game,3 said Bayliss. 3But % find, no* thatyou ha!e e-lained it, sir, that it is familiar to me, though %ha!e al*ays kno*n it under another name. %t is -layed a greatdeal in this country.3

)r. "rocker started to his feet.

3%t is7 nd %1!e been fi!e years here *ithout finding it out4When1s the net game scheduled73

3%t is kno*n in England as $ounders, sir. "hildren -lay it *ith asoft ball and a racuet, and deri!e considerable enjoyment fromit. % had ne!er heard of it before as a -astime for adults.3

T*o shocked eyes stared into the butler1s face.

3"hildren73 The *ord came in a *his-er.

3 racuet73

30es, sir.3

30ou''you didn1t say a soft ball73

30es, sir.3



sort of s-asm seemed to con!ulse )r. "rocker. #e had li!ed fi!eyears in England, but not till this moment had he realised to thefull ho* utterly alone he *as in an alien land. 5ate had -lacedhim, bound and hel-less, in a country *here they called baseball$ounders and -layed it *ith a soft ball.

#e sank back into his chair, staring before him. nd as he satthe *all seemed to melt and he *as ga+ing u-on a green field, inthe centre of *hich a man in a grey uniform *as beginning a2alome dance. Watching this -erson *ith a cold and sus-iciouseye, stood another uniformed man, holding -oised abo!e hisshoulder a sturdy club. T*o )asked )ar!els crouched behind him inattitudes of *atchful *aiting. 6n *ooden seats all around sat a!ast multitude of shirt'slee!ed s-ectators, and the air *as fullof !oices.

6ne !oice detached itself from the din.

3Pea'nuts4 Get y1r -ea'nuts43

2omething that *as almost a sob shook Bingley "rocker1s am-leframe. Bayliss the butler ga+ed do*n u-on him *ith concern. #e*as sure the master *as un*ell.

The case of )r. Bingley "rocker *as one that *ould ha!e -ro!idedan admirable 3instance3 for a -reacher seeking to instil into anim-ecunious and sce-tical flock the lesson that money does not ofnecessity bring *ith it ha--iness. nd -oetry has crystallisedhis -osition in the follo*ing stan+a.

n eile from home s-lendour da++les in !ain. 6h, gi!e me my lo*ly thatched cottage again9 The birds singing gaily, that came at my call, Gi!e me them, and that -eace of mind dearer than all.

)r. "rocker had ne!er li!ed in a thatched cottage, nor had hisrelations *ith the birds of his nati!e land e!er reached thestage of intimacy indicated by the -oet9 but substitute 3(ambs"lub3 for the former and 3members3 for the latter, and the-arallel becomes com-lete.

ntil the time of his second marriage Bingley "rocker had been anactor, a sna--er'u- of *hate!er small character'-arts the gods-ro!ided. #e had an ecellent dis-osition, no money, and one son,a young man of t*enty'one. 5or forty'fi!e years he had li!ed ahand'to'mouth eistence in *hich his net meal had generally come

as a -leasant sur-rise: and then, on an tlantic liner, he metthe *ido* of G. G. !an Brunt, the sole heiress to that magnate1simmense fortune.

What )rs. !an Brunt could ha!e seen in Bingley "rocker to causeher to single him out from all the *orld -asses com-rehension:but the eccentricities of "u-id are common-lace. %t *ere best toshun eamination into first causes and stick to results. Thes*ift romance began and reached its clima in the ten days *hichit took one of the smaller tlantic liners to sail from (i!er-ool



to /e* 0ork. )r. "rocker *as on board because he *as returning*ith a theatrical com-any from a failure in (ondon, )rs. !anBrunt because she had been told that the slo* boats *ere thesteadiest. They began the !oyage as strangers and ended it as anengaged cou-le''the affair being e-edited, no doubt, by the factthat, e!en if it e!er occurred to Bingley to resist the onslaughton his bachelor -eace, he soon realised the futility of doing so,for the cram-ed conditions of shi-'board intensified the al*ayso!er*helming effects of his future bride1s determined nature.

The engagement *as recei!ed in a *idely differing s-irit by theonly sur!i!ing blood'relations of the t*o -rinci-als. Jimmy, )r."rocker1s son, on being informed that his father had -lighted histroth to the *ido* of a -rominent millionaire, dis-layed theutmost gratification and enthusiasm, and at a little su--er *hichhe ga!e by *ay of fare*ell to a fe* of his ne*s-a-er comrades and*hich lasted till si in the morning, *hen it *as broken u- bythe flying *edge of *aiters for *hich the selected restaurant isjustly famous, joyfully announced that *ork and he *ould fromthen on be total strangers. #e alluded in feeling terms to the

Pro!idence *hich *atches o!er good young men and sa!es them fromthe blighting necessity of offering themsel!es in the flo*er oftheir golden youth as human sacrifices to the )oloch ofca-italistic greed: and, ha!ing commiserated *ith his guests inthat a similar stroke of luck had not ha--ened to each of them,ad!ised them to dro*n their sorro*s in drink. Which they did.

5ar different *as the attitude of )rs. "rocker1s sister, /estaPett. 2he entirely disa--ro!ed of the -ro-osed match. t least,the fact that in her final inter!ie* *ith her sister shedescribed the bridegroom'to'be as a *retched mummer, a des-icablefortune'hunter, a broken'do*n tram-, and a sneaking, graftingconfidence'trickster lends colour to the su--osition that she *asnot a *arm su--orter of it. 2he agreed *holeheartedly *ith )rs."rocker1s suggestion that they should ne!er s-eak to each otheragain as long as they li!ed: and it *as immediately after thisthat the latter remo!ed husband Bingley, ste-'son Jimmy, and allher other goods and chattels to (ondon, *here they had remainede!er since. Whene!er )rs. "rocker s-oke of merica no*, it *as intones of the dee-est dislike and contem-t. #er friends *ereEnglish, and e!ery year more eclusi!ely of England1saristocracy. 2he intended to become a leading figure in (ondon2ociety, and already her -rogress had been astonishing. 2he kne*the right -eo-le, li!ed in the right suare, said the rightthings, and thought the right thoughts: and in the 2-ring of herthird year had succeeded in curing Bingley of his habit ofbeginning his remarks *ith the *ords 32ay, lemme tell ya

something.3 #er -rogress, in short, *as beginning to assume theas-ect of a *alk'o!er.

gainst her com-lete contentment and satisfaction only one thingmilitated. That *as the beha!iour of her ste-'son, Jimmy.

%t *as of Jimmy that she s-oke *hen, ha!ing hung the recei!er onits hook, she returned to the breakfast'room. Bayliss hadsilently *ithdra*n, and )r. "rocker *as sitting in sombre silenceat the table.



3 most fortunate thing has ha--ened, Bingley,3 she said. 3%t *asmost kind of dear (ady "orstor-hine to ring me u-. %t seems thather ne-he*, (ord Percy Whi--le, is back in England. #e has beenin %reland for the -ast three years, on the staff of the (ord(ieutenant, and only arri!ed in (ondon yesterday afternoon. (ady"orstor-hine has -romised to arrange a meeting bet*een him andJames. % -articularly *ant them to be friends.3

3Eugenia,3 said )r. "rocker in a hollo* !oice, 3do you kno* theycall baseball $ounders o!er here, and children -lay it *ith asoft ball73

3James is becoming a serious -roblem. %t is absolutely necessarythat he should make friends *ith the right kind of young men.3

3nd a racuet,3 said )r. "rocker.

3Please listen to *hat % am saying, Bingley. % am talking aboutJames. There is a crude merican strain in him *hich seems to

gro* *orse instead of better. % *as lunching *ith the &elafieldsat the "arlton yesterday, and there, only a fe* tables a*ay, *asJames *ith an im-ossible young man in a--alling clothes. %t *asoutrageous that James should ha!e been seen in -ublic at all *ithsuch a -erson. The man had a broken nose and talked through it.#e *as saying in a loud !oice that made e!erybody turn roundsomething about his left'scissors hook''*hate!er that may ha!ebeen. % disco!ered later that he *as a lo* -rofessional -ugilistfrom /e* 0ork''a man named 2-ike &illon, % think "a-tain Wrotonsaid. nd Jimmy *as gi!ing him lunch''at the <"arlton4<3

)r. "rocker said nothing. "onstant -ractice had made him an ade-tat saying nothing *hen his *ife *as talking.

3James must be made to realise his res-onsibilities. % shall ha!eto s-eak to him. % *as hearing only the other day of a mostdeser!ing man, etremely rich and la!ishly generous in hiscontributions to the -arty funds, *ho *as only gi!en aknighthood, sim-ly because he had a son *ho had beha!ed in amanner that could not -ossibly be o!erlooked. The -resent "ourtis etraordinarily strict in its !ie*s. James cannot be toocareful. certain amount of *ildness in a young man is uite-ro-er in the best set, -ro!ided that he is *ild in the rightcom-any. E!ery one kno*s that young (ord &atchet *as ejected fromthe Em-ire )usic'#all on Boat'$ace night e!ery year during hisresidence at 6ford ni!ersity, but nobody minds. The familytreats it as a joke. But James has such lo* tastes. Professional

-ugilists4 % belie!e that many years ago it *as not unfashionablefor young men in 2ociety to be seen about *ith such -ersons, butthose days are o!er. % shall certainly s-eak to James. #e cannotafford to call attention to himself in any *ay. Thatbreach'of'-romise case of his three years ago, is, % ho-e andtrust, forgotten, but the slightest sli- on his -art might startthe -a-ers talking about it again, and that *ould be fatal. Thee!entual successor to a title must be uite as careful as''3

%t *as not, as has been hinted abo!e, the usual -ractice of )r.



"rocker to interru-t his *ife *hen she *as s-eaking, but he didit no*.

32ay43

)rs. "rocker fro*ned.

3% *ish, Bingley''and % ha!e told you so often''that you *ouldnot begin your sentences *ith the *ord 12ay14 %t is such are!olting mericanism. 2u--ose some day *hen you are addressingthe #ouse of (ords you should make a sli- like that4 The -a-ers*ould ne!er let you hear the end of it.3

)r. "rocker *as s*allo*ing con!ulsi!ely, as if testing his laryn*ith a !ie* to s-eech. (ike 2aul of Tarsus, he had been strickendumb by the sudden bright light *hich his *ife1s *ords had causedto flash u-on him. 5reuently during his sojourn in (ondon he had*ondered just *hy Eugenia had settled there in -reference to hero*n country. %t *as not her *ont to do things *ithout an object,yet until this moment he had been unable to fathom her moti!es.

E!en no* it seemed almost incredible. nd yet *hat meaning *ouldher *ords ha!e other than the monstrous one *hich had smitten himas a blackjack7

32ay''% mean, Eugenia''you don1t *ant''you aren1t trying''youaren1t *orking to''you ha!en1t any idea of trying to get them tomake me a (ord, ha!e you73

3%t is *hat % ha!e been *orking for all these years43

3But''but *hy7 Why7 That1s *hat % *ant to kno*. Why73

)rs. "rocker1s fine eyes glittered.

3% *ill tell you *hy, Bingley. Just before *e *ere married % hada talk *ith my sister /esta. 2he *as insufferably offensi!e. 2hereferred to you in terms *hich % shall ne!er forgi!e. 2he affectedto look do*n on you, to think that % *as marrying beneath me. 2o% am going to make you an English -eer and send /esta a ne*s-a-ercli--ing of the Birthday #onours *ith your name in it, if % ha!eto kee- *orking till % die4 /o* you kno*43

2ilence fell. )r. "rocker drank cold coffee. #is *ife stared *ithgleaming eyes into the glorious future.

3&o you mean that % shall ha!e to sto- on here till they make mea lord73 said )r. "rocker lim-ly.

30es.3

3/e!er go back to merica73

3/ot till *e ha!e succeeded.3

36h Gee4 6h Gosh4 6h #ell43 said )r. "rocker, bursting the bondsof years.



)rs. "rocker though resolute, *as not unkindly. 2he madeallo*ances for her husband1s state of mind. 2he *as *illing to-ermit e!en merican e-leti!es during the sinking'in -rocess ofher great idea, much as a broad'minded co*boy might listenindulgently to the suealing of a mustang during the branding-rocess. &ocility and obedience *ould he demanded of him later,but not till the first agony had abated. 2he s-oke soothingly tohim.

3% am glad *e ha!e had this talk, Bingley. %t is best that youshould kno*. %t *ill hel- you to realise your res-onsibilities.nd that brings me back to James. Thank goodness (ord PercyWhi--le is in to*n. #e is about James1 age, and from *hat (ady"orstor-hine tells me *ill be an ideal friend for him. 0ouunderstand *ho he is, of course7 The second son of the &uke of&e!i+es, the Premier1s closest friend, the man *ho can-ractically dictate the Birthday #onours. %f James and (ord Percycan only form a close friendshi-, our battle *ill be as good as*on. %t *ill mean e!erything. (ady "orstor-hine has -romised toarrange a meeting. %n the meantime, % *ill s-eak to James and

*arn him to be more careful.3

)r. "rocker had -roduced a stum- of -encil from his -ocket and*as *riting on the table'cloth.

(ord "rocker (ord Bingley "rocker (ord "rocker of "rocker The )aruis of "rocker Baron "rocker Bingley, first =iscount "rocker

#e blanched as he read the frightful *ords. sudden thought stunghim.

3Eugenia43

3Well73

3What *ill the boys at the (ambs say73

3% am not interested,3 re-lied his *ife, 3in the boys at the(ambs.3

3% thought you *ouldn1t be,3 said the future baron gloomily.

"#PTE$ %%%

5)%(0 J$2

%t is a -eculiarity of the human mind that, *ith *hate!era--rehension it may be regarding the distant future, it mustreturn after a *hile to face the minor troubles of the futurethat is immediate. The -ros-ect of a !isit to the dentist thisafternoon causes us to forget for the moment the -ros-ect of



total ruin net year. )r. "rocker, therefore, ha!ing torturedhimself for about a uarter of an hour *ith his meditations onthe subject of titles, *as jerked back to a more imminentcalamity than the a--earance of his name in the Birthday#onours''the fact that in all -robability he *ould be taken againthis morning to *atch the continuation of that infernalcricket'match, and *ould be com-elled to s-end the greater -artof to'day, as he had s-ent the greater -art of yesterday, boredto the !erge of dissolution in the -a!ilion at (ord1s.

6ne gleam of ho-e alone -resented itself. (ike baseball, this-astime of cricket *as a--arently affected by rain, if there hadbeen enough of it. #e had an idea that there had been a good dealof rain in the night, but had there been sufficient to cause theteams of 2urrey and ;ent to -ost-one the second instalment oftheir serial struggle7 #e rose from the table and *ent out intothe hall. %t *as his -ur-ose to sally out into Gros!enor 2uareand eamine the turf in its centre *ith the heel of his shoe, inorder to determine the stickiness or non'stickiness of the*icket. #e mo!ed to*ards the front door, ho-ing for the best, and

just as he reached it the bell rang.

6ne of the bad habits of *hich his *ife had cured )r. "rocker inthe course of the years *as the habit of going and ans*eringdoors. #e had been brought u- in surroundings *here e!ery man *ashis o*n door'kee-er, and it had been among his hardest tasks tolearn the lesson that the -erfect gentleman does not o-en doorsbut *aits for the a--ro-riate menial to come along and do it forhim. #e had succeeded at length in mastering this great truth,and no*adays seldom offended. But this morning his mind *asclouded by his troubles, and instinct, allaying itself *itho--ortunity, *as too much for him. #is fingers had been on thehandle *hen the ring came, so he turned it.

t the to- of the ste-s *hich connect the main entrance of&redale #ouse *ith the side*alk three -ersons *ere standing. 6ne*as a tall and formidably handsome *oman in the early forties*hose a--earance seemed someho* oddly familiar. The second *as asmall, fat, blobby, bulging boy *ho *as che*ing something. Thethird, lurking diffidently in the rear, *as a little man of about)r. "rocker1s o*n age, grey'haired and thin *ith bro*n eyes thatga+ed meekly through rimless glasses.

/obody could ha!e been less obtrusi!e than this -erson, yet it *ashe *ho gri--ed )r. "rocker1s attention and caused that home'sicksufferer1s heart to gi!e an almost -ainful lea-. 5or he *asclothed in one of those roomy suits *ith suare shoulders *hich

to the seeing eye are as re-ublican as the 2tars and 2tri-es. #isblunt'toed yello* shoes sang gaily of home. nd his hat *as notso much a hat as an effusi!e greeting from Gotham. long timehad -assed since )r. "rocker had set eyes u-on a bi-ed soehilaratingly merican, and ra-ture held him s-eechless, as one*ho after long eile beholds some landmark of his childhood.

The female member of the -arty took ad!antage of hisdumbness''*hich, as she had not unnaturally mistaken him for thebutler, she took for a silent and res-ectful uery as to her



business and *ishes''to o-en the con!ersation.

3%s )rs. "rocker at home7 Please tell her that )rs. Pett *ishesto see her.3

There *as a rush and scurry in the corridors of )r. "rocker1sbrain, as about si different thoughts tried to suashsimultaneously into that main chamber *here there is room foronly one at a time. #e understood no* *hy this *oman1s a--earancehad seemed familiar. 2he *as his *ife1s sister, and that same/esta *ho *as some day to be -ul!erised by the sight of his namein the Birthday #onours. #e *as -rofoundly thankful that she hadmistaken him for the butler. chill -assed through him as he-ictured *hat *ould ha!e been Eugenia1s rece-tion of theinformation that he had committed such a bourgeois solecism aso-ening the front door to )rs. Pett of all -eo-le, *ho alreadydes-ised him as a lo* !ulgarian. There had been trouble enough*hen she had found him o-ening it a fe* *eeks before to a merecollector of subscri-tions for a charity. #e -ercei!ed, *ith aclarity remarkable in !ie* of the fact that the disco!ery of her

identity had gi!en him a feeling of -hysical di++iness, that atall costs he must foster this misa--rehension on hissister'in'la*1s -art.

5ortunately he *as in a -osition to do so. #e kne* all about *hatbutlers did and *hat they said on these occasions, for in hisinnocently curious *ay he had often -um-ed Bayliss on the subject.#e bo*ed silently and led the *ay to the morning'room, follo*edby the dro!e of Petts: then, o-ening the door, stood aside toallo* the -rocession to march -ast the gi!en -oint.

3% *ill inform )rs. "rocker that you are here, madam.3

)rs. Pett, she-herding the che*ing child before her, -assed intothe room. %n the light of her outs-oken sentiments regarding herbrother'in'la*, it is curious to reflect that his manner at this,their first meeting, had dee-ly im-ressed her. fter many monthsof smouldering re!olt she had dismissed her o*n butler a day orso before sailing for England, and for the first time en!y of hersister Eugenia gri--ed her. 2he did not co!et Eugenia1s other*orldly -ossessions, but she did grudge her this su-reme butler.

)r. Pett, mean*hile, had been trailing in the rear *ith a huntede-ression on his face. #e *ore the unmistakable look of a manabout to be -resent at a ro* bet*een *omen, and only a *et cat ina strange back'yard bears itself *ith less jauntiness than a manfaced by such a -ros-ect. millionaire se!eral times o!er, )r.

Pett *ould cheerfully ha!e gi!en much of his *ealth to ha!e beenelse*here at that moment. 2uch *as the agitated state of his mindthat, *hen a hand *as laid lightly u-on his arm as he *as aboutto follo* his *ife into the room, he started so !iolently thathis hat fle* out of his hand. #e turned to meet the eyes of thebutler *ho had admitted him to the house, fied on his in ana--ealing stare.

3Who1s leading in the -ennant race73 said this strange butler ina fe!erish *his-er.



%t *as a uestion, coming from such a source, *hich in anotherthan )r. Pett might *ell ha!e -ro!oked a blank stare ofama+ement. 2uch, ho*e!er, is the almost su-erhuman intelligenceand uickness of mind engendered by the study of merica1snational game that he ans*ered *ithout the slightest hesitation.

3Giants43

3Wo*43 said the butler.

/o sense of anything strange or unto*ard about the situation cameto mar the -erfect joy of )r. Pett, the o!ermastering joy of thebaseball fan *ho in a strange land une-ectedly encounters abrother. #e thrilled *ith a ha--iness *hich he had ne!er ho-edto feel that morning.

3/o signs of them slum-ing73 enuired the butler.

3/o. But you ne!er can tell. %t1s early yet. %1!e seen those boys

lead the league till the end of ugust and then be nosed out.3

3True enough,3 said the butler sadly.

3)atty1s in sha-e.3

3#e is7 The old sou-er *orking *ell73

3(ike a machine. #e shut out the "ubs the day before % sailed43

35ine43

t this -oint an a--reciation of the unusualness of the-roceedings began to steal u-on )r. Pett. #e ga-ed at thissur-rising ser!itor.

3#o* on earth do you kno* anything about baseball73 he demanded.

The other seemed to stiffen. change came o!er his *holea--earance. #e had the air of an actor *ho has remembered his-art.

3% beg your -ardon, sir. % trust % ha!e not taken a liberty. % *asat one time in the em-loyment of a gentleman in /e* 0ork, andduring my stay % became etremely interested in the nationalgame. % -icked u- a fe* of the merican idioms *hile in thecountry.3 #e smiled a-ologetically. 3They sometimes sli- out.3

3(et 1em sli-43 said )r. Pett *ith enthusiasm. 30ou1re the firstthing that1s reminded me of home since % left. 2ay43

32ir73

3Got a good -lace here73

3Er''oh, yes, sir.3



3Well, here1s my card. %f you e!er feel like making a change,there1s a job *aiting for you at that address.3

3Thank you, sir.3 )r. "rocker stoo-ed.

30our hat, sir.3

#e held it out, ga+ing fondly at it the *hile. %t *as like beinghome again to see a hat like that. #e follo*ed )r. Pett as he*ent into the morning'room *ith an affectionate eye.

Bayliss *as coming along the hall, hurrying more than his *ont.The ring at the front door had found him dee- in an etremelyinteresting -iece of ne*s in his half-enny morning -a-er, and he*as guiltily a*are of ha!ing delayed in ans*ering it.

3Bayliss,3 said )r. "rocker in a cautious undertone, 3go and tell)rs. "rocker that )rs. Pett is *aiting to see her. 2he1s in themorning'room. %f you1re asked, say you let her in. Get me73

30es, sir,3 said Bayliss, grateful for this ha--y solution.

36h, Bayliss43

32ir73

3%s the *icket at (ord1s likely to be too sticky for them to goon *ith that game to'day73

3% hardly think it -robable that there *ill be -lay, sir. There*as a great deal of rain in the night.3

)r. "rocker -assed on to his den *ith a lighter heart.

H H H H H

%t *as )rs. "rocker1s habit, acuired after years of -ractice anda sedulous study of the best models, to conceal beneath a mask of*ell'bred indifference any emotion *hich she might chance tofeel. #er dealings *ith the aristocracy of England had sho*n herthat, *hile the men occasionally -ermitted themsel!es anoutburst, the *omen ne!er did, and she had schooled herself sorigorously that no*adays she seldom e!en raised her !oice. #erbearing, as she a--roached the morning'room *as calm and serene,but in*ardly curiosity consumed her. %t *as unbelie!able that/esta could ha!e come to try to effect a reconciliation, yet shecould think of no other reason for her !isit.

2he *as sur-rised to find three -ersons in the morning'room.Bayliss, deli!ering his message, had mentioned only )rs. Pett. To)rs. "rocker the assemblage had the a--earance of being a sort of6ld #ome Week of Petts, a kind of Pett family mob'scene. #ersister1s second marriage ha!ing taken -lace after their uarrel,she had ne!er seen her ne* brother'in'la*, but she assumed thatthe little man lurking in the background *as )r. Pett. The guess*as confirmed.



3Good morning, Eugenia,3 said )rs. Pett.

3Peter, this is my sister, Eugenia. )y husband.3

)rs. "rocker bo*ed stiffly. 2he *as thinking ho* ho-elesslymerican )r. Pett *as, ho* baggy his clothes looked, *hatabsurdly sha-ed shoes he *ore, ho* a--alling his hat *as, ho*little hair he had and ho* de-lorably he lacked all those gracesof re-ose, culture, -hysical beauty, refinement, dignity, andmental alertness *hich raise men abo!e the le!el of the commoncock'roach.

)r. Pett, on his side, recei!ing her cold glance suarely bet*eenthe eyes, felt as if he *ere being disembo*elled by a clumsyamateur. #e could not hel- *ondering *hat sort of a man thisfello* "rocker *as *hom this sister'in'la* of his had married. #e-ictured him as a handsome, -o*erful, robust indi!idual *ith astrong ja* and a loud !oice, for he could imagine no lesser ty-eof man consenting to link his lot *ith such a *oman. #e sidled ina circuitous manner to*ards a distant chair, and, ha!ing lo*ered

himself into it, ke-t -erfectly still, -retending to be dead,like an o-ossum. #e *ished to take no -art *hate!er in the cominginter!ie*.

36gden, of course, you kno*,3 said )rs. Pett.

2he *as sitting so stiffly u-right on a hard chair and had somuch the a--earance of ha!ing been he*n from the li!ing rock thate!ery time she o-ened her mouth it *as as if a statue had s-oken.

3% kno* 6gden,3 said )rs. "rocker shortly. 3Will you -lease sto-him fidgeting *ith that !ase7 %t is !aluable.3

2he directed at little 6gden, *ho *as juggling aimlessly *ith ahandsome <objet d1art< of the early "hinese school, a glance similarto that *hich had just dis-osed of his ste-'father. But 6gdenreuired more than a glance to di!ert him from any -ursuit in *hichhe *as interested. #e shifted a de-osit of candy from his rightcheek to his left cheek, ins-ected )rs. "rocker for a moment *ith a-ale eye, and resumed his juggling. )rs. "rocker meant nothing inhis young life.

36gden, come and sit do*n,3 said )rs. Pett.

3&on1t *ant to sit do*n.3

3re you making a long stay in England, /esta73 asked )rs.

"rocker coldly.

3% don1t kno*. We ha!e made no -lans.3

3%ndeed73

2he broke off. 6gden, *ho had -ossessed himself of a bron+e-a-er'knife, had begun to ta- the !ase *ith it. The ringing notethus -roduced a--eared to -lease his young mind.



3%f 6gden really *ishes to break that !ase,3 said )rs. "rocker ina detached !oice, 3let me ring for the butler to bring him ahammer.3

36gden43 said )rs. Pett.

36h Gee4 fello* can1t do a thing43 muttered 6gden, and *alkedto the *indo*. #e stood looking out into the suare, a slightt*itching of the ears indicating that he still made -rogress *iththe candy.

32till the same engaging child43 murmured )rs. "rocker.

3% did not come here to discuss 6gden43 said )rs. Pett.

)rs. "rocker raised her eyebro*s. /ot e!en )rs. 6tho (anners,from *hom she had learned the art, could do it more effecti!ely.

3% am still *aiting to find out *hy you did come, /esta43

3% came here to talk to you about your ste-'son, James "rocker.3

The disci-line to *hich )rs. "rocker had subjected herself in thematter of the dis-lay of emotion sa!ed her from the humiliationof sho*ing sur-rise. 2he *a!ed her hand graciously''in the mannerof the &uchess of minster, a su-reme hand'*a!er''to indicatethat she *as all attention.

30our ste-'son, James "rocker,3 re-eated )rs. Pett. 3What is itthe /e* 0ork -a-ers call him, Peter73

)r. Pett, the human o-ossum, came to life. #e had contri!ed tocreate about himself such a defensi!e atmos-here of non'eistencethat no* that he re'entered the con!ersation it *as as if acor-se had -o--ed out of its tomb like a jack'in'the'bo.

6beying the !oice of authority, he -ushed the tombstone to oneside and -oked his head out of the se-ulchre.

3Piccadilly Jim43 he murmured a-ologetically.

3Piccadilly Jim43 said )rs. "rocker. 3%t is etremely im-ertinentof them43

%n s-ite of his misery, a *an smile a--eared on )r. Pett1sdeath'mask at this remark.

3They should *orry about''43

3Peter43

)r. Pett died again, greatly res-ected.

3Why should the /e* 0ork -a-ers refer to James at all73 said )rs."rocker.

3E-lain, Peter43



)r. Pett emerged reluctantly from the cerements. #e had su--osedthat /esta *ould do the talking.

3Well, he1s a ne*s'item.3

3Why73

3Well, here1s a boy that1s been a regular fello*''raised inmerica''done *ork on a ne*s-a-er''suddenly taken off to Englandto become a (ondon dude''miing *ith all the dukes, -laying-inochle *ith the ;ing''naturally they1re interested in him.3

more agreeable e-ression came o!er )rs. "rocker1s face.

36f course, that is uite true. 6ne cannot -re!ent the -a-ersfrom -rinting *hat they *ish. 2o they ha!e -ublished articlesabout James1 doings in English 2ociety73

3&oings,3 said )r. Pett, 3is right43

32omething has got to be done about it,3 said )rs. Pett.

)r. Pett endorsed this.

3/esta1s going to lose her health if these stories go on,3 hesaid.

)rs. "rocker raised her eyebro*s, but she had hard *ork to kee- acontented smile off her face.

3%f you are not abo!e -etty jealousy, /esta . . .3

)rs. Pett laughed a shar-, metallic laugh.

3%t is the disgrace % object to43

3The disgrace43

3What else *ould you call it, Eugenia7 Wouldn1t you be ashamed ifyou o-ened your 2unday -a-er and came u-on a full -age articleabout your ne-he* ha!ing got intoicated at the races and foughta book'maker''ha!ing broken u- a -olitical meeting''ha!ing beensued for breach'of'-romise by a barmaid . . .3

)rs. "rocker -reser!ed her *ell'bred calm, but she *as shaken.The e-isodes to *hich her sister had alluded *ere ancient

history, horrors of the long'dead -ast, but it seemed that theystill li!ed in -rint. There and then she registered the resol!eto talk to her ste-'son James *hen she got hold of him in such amanner as *ould scourge the offending dam out of him for onceand for all.

3nd not only that,3 continued )rs. Pett. 3That *ould be bad enoughin itself, but someho* the -a-ers ha!e disco!ered that % am theboy1s aunt. T*o *eeks ago they -rinted my -hotogra-h *ith one ofthese articles. % su--ose they *ill al*ays do it no*. That is *hy %



ha!e come to you. %t must sto-. nd the only *ay it can be made tosto- is by taking your ste-'son a*ay from (ondon *here he isrunning *ild. Peter has most kindly consented to gi!e the boy a-osition in his office. %t is !ery good of him, for the boy cannotin the nature of things be of any use for a !ery long time, but *eha!e talked it o!er and it seems the only course. % ha!e come thismorning to ask you to let us take James "rocker back to merica*ith us and kee- him out of mischief by gi!ing him honest *ork.What do you say73

)rs. "rocker raised her eyebro*s.

3What do you e-ect me to say7 %t is utterly -re-osterous. % ha!ene!er heard anything so su-remely absurd in my life.3

30ou refuse73

36f course % refuse.3

3% think you are etremely foolish.3

3%ndeed43

)r. Pett co*ed in his chair. #e *as feeling rather like a ner!ousand -eace'lo!ing -atron of a *ild *estern saloon *ho obser!es t*oco*boys reach for their hi-'-ockets. /either his *ife nor hissister'in'la* -aid any attention to him. The concluding eercisesof a duel of the eyes *as in -rogress bet*een them. fter somesilent, age'long moments, )rs. "rocker laughed a light laugh.

3)ost etraordinary43 she murmured.

)rs. Pett *as in no mood for nglicisms.

30ou kno* -erfectly *ell, Eugenia,3 she said heatedly, 3thatJames "rocker is being ruined here. 5or his sake, if not formine''3

)rs. "rocker laughed another light laugh, one of those offensi!eri--ling things *hich cause so much annoyance.

3&on1t be so ridiculous, /esta4 $uined4 $eally4 %t is uite truethat, a long *hile ago, *hen he *as much younger and not uite usedto the *ays of (ondon 2ociety, James *as a little *ild, but allthat sort of thing is o!er no*. #e kno*s3''she -aused, settingherself as it *ere for the -unch''3he kno*s that at any momentthe go!ernment may decide to gi!e his father a Peerage . . .3

The blo* *ent home. uite audible gas- esca-ed her strickensister.

3What43

)rs. "rocker -laced t*o ringed fingers before her mouth in order

not to hide a languid ya*n.



30es. &idn1t you kno*7 But of course you li!e so out of the *orld.6h yes, it is etremely -robable that )r. "rocker1s name *illa--ear in the net #onours (ist. #e is !ery highly thought of bythe Po*ers. 2o naturally James is uite a*are that he must beha!ein a suitable manner. #e is a dear boy4 #e *as handica--ed atfirst by getting into the *rong set, but no* his closest friendis (ord Percy Whi--le, the second son of the &uke of &e!i+es, *hois one of the most eminent men in the kingdom and a -ersonalfriend of the Premier.3

)rs. Pett *as in bad sha-e under this rain of titles, but sherallied herself to re-ly in kind.

3%ndeed73 she said. 3% should like to meet him. % ha!e no doubthe kno*s our great friend, (ord Wisbeach.3

)rs. "rocker *as a little taken aback. 2he had not su--osed thather sister had e!en this small shot in her locker.

3&o you kno* (ord Wisbeach73 she said.

36h yes,3 re-lied )rs. Pett, beginning to feel a little better.3We ha!e been seeing him e!ery day. #e al*ays says that he lookson my house as uite a home. #e kno*s so fe* -eo-le in /e* 0ork.%t has been a great comfort to him, % think, kno*ing us.3

)rs. "rocker had had time no* to reco!er her -oise.

3Poor dear Wi++y43 she said languidly.

)rs. Pett started.

3What43

3% su--ose he is still the same dear, stu-id, shiftless fello*7#e left here *ith the intention of tra!elling round the *orld,and he has sto--ed in /e* 0ork4 #o* like him43

3&o you kno* (ord Wisbeach73 demanded )rs. Pett.

)rs. "rocker raised her eyebro*s.

3;no* him7 Why, % su--ose, after (ord Percy Whi--le, he is James1most intimate friend43

)rs. Pett rose. 2he *as dignified e!en in defeat. 2he collected6gden and )r. Pett *ith an eye *hich e!en 6gden could see *as not

to be trifled *ith. 2he uttered no *ord.

3)ust you really go73 said )rs. "rocker. 3%t *as s*eet of you tobother to come all the *ay from merica like this. 2o strange tomeet any one from merica no*adays. )ost etraordinary43

The <cortege< left the room in silence. )rs. "rocker had touchedthe bell, but the mourners did not *ait for the arri!al ofBayliss. They *ere in no mood for the formalities of -olite2ociety. They *anted to be else*here, and they *anted to be there



uick. The front door had closed behind them before the butlerreached the morning'room.

3Bayliss,3 said )rs. "rocker *ith ha--y, shining face, 3send forthe car to come round at once.3

3=ery good, madam.3

3%s )r. James u- yet73

3% belie!e not, madam.3

)rs. "rocker *ent u-stairs to her room. %f Bayliss had not been*ithin earshot, she *ould -robably ha!e sung a bar or t*o. #eramiability etended e!en to her ste-'son, though she had notaltered her intention of s-eaking elouently to him on certainmatters *hen she could get hold of him. That, ho*e!er, could*ait. 5or the moment, she felt in !ein for a gentle dri!e in thePark.

fe* minutes after she had disa--eared, there *as a sound ofslo* footste-s on the stairs, and a young man came do*n into thehall. Bayliss, *ho had finished tele-honing to the garage for)rs. "rocker1s limousine and *as about to descend to those lo*erde-ths *here he had his being, turned, and a gra!e smile of*elcome -layed o!er his face.

3Good morning, )r. James,3 he said.

"#PTE$ %=

J%))012 &%2T$B%/G /EW2

Jimmy "rocker *as a tall and *ell'knit young man *ho later on inthe day *ould no doubt be at least -assably good'looking. t themoment an unbecoming -allor marred his face, and beneath his eyes*ere marks that suggested that he had sle-t little and ill. #estood at the foot of the stairs, ya*ning ca!ernously.

3Bayliss,3 he said, 3ha!e you been -ainting yourself yello*73

3/o, sir.3

32trange4 0our face looks a bright gamboge to me, and youroutlines *obble. Bayliss, ne!er mi your drinks. % say this to

you as a friend. %s there any one in the morning'room73

3/o, )r. James.3

32-eak softly, Bayliss, for % am not *ell. % am conscious of astrange *eakness. (ead me to the morning'room, then, and lay megently on a sofa. These are the times that try men1s souls.3

The sun *as no* shining strongly through the *indo*s of themorning'room. Bayliss lo*ered the shades. Jimmy "rocker sank onto



the sofa, and closed his eyes.

3Bayliss.3

32ir73

3 con!iction is stealing o!er me that % am about to e-ire.3

32hall % bring you a little breakfast, )r. James73

strong shudder shook Jimmy.

3&on1t be fli--ant, Bayliss,3 he -rotested. 3Try to cure yourselfof this -assion for being funny at the *rong time. 0our comedy isgood, but tact is a finer uality than humour. Perha-s you think% ha!e forgotten that morning *hen % *as feeling just as % doto'day and you came to my bedside and asked me if % *ould like anice rasher of ham. % ha!en1t and % ne!er shall. 0ou may bring mea brandy'and'soda. /ot a large one. cou-le of bath'tubs full*ill be enough.3

3=ery good, )r. James.3

3nd no* lea!e me, Bayliss, for % *ould be alone. % ha!e to makea series of difficult and ehausti!e tests to ascertain *hether %am still ali!e.3

When the butler had gone, Jimmy adjusted the cushions, closed hiseyes, and remained for a s-ace in a state of coma. #e *as trying,as *ell as an eceedingly se!ere headache *ould -ermit, to recallthe salient e!ents of the -re!ious night. t -resent his memoriesrefused to solidify. They -oured about in his brain in a fluidand formless condition, eas-erating to one *ho sought for hardfacts.

%t seemed strange to Jimmy that the shado*y and inchoate !ision ofa combat, a fight, a bra*l of some kind -ersisted in flittingabout in the recesses of his mind, al*ays just far enough a*ay toelude ca-ture. The absurdity of the thing annoyed him. man haseither indulged in a fight o!ernight or he has not indulged in afight o!ernight. There can be no middle course. That he should beuncertain on the -oint *as ridiculous. 0et, try as he *ould, hecould not be sure. There *ere moments *hen he seemed on the !ery!erge of settling the matter, and then some in!isible -erson*ould meanly insert a red'hot corkscre* in the to- of his headand begin to t*ist it, and this *ould interfere *ith calmthought. #e *as still in a state of uncertainty *hen Bayliss

returned, bearing healing liuids on a tray.

32hall % set it beside you, sir73

Jimmy o-ened one eye.

3%ndubitably. /o mean *ord, that, Bayliss, for the morning after.Try it yourself net time. Bayliss, *ho let me in this morning73

3(et you in, sir73



3Precisely. % *as out and no* % am in. 6b!iously % must ha!e-assed the front door someho*. This is logic.3

3% fancy you let yourself in, )r. James, *ith your key.3

3That *ould seem to indicate that % *as in a state of icysobriety. 0et, if such is the case, ho* is it that % can1tremember *hether % murdered somebody or not last night7 %t isn1tthe sort of thing your sober man *ould lightly forget. #a!e youe!er murdered anybody, Bayliss73

3/o, sir.3

3Well, if you had, you *ould remember it net morning73

3% imagine so, )r. James.3

3Well, it1s a funny thing, but % can1t get rid of the im-ressionthat at some -oint in my researches into the night life of (ondon

yestreen % fell u-on some -erson to *hom % had ne!er beenintroduced and committed mayhem u-on his -erson.3

%t seemed to Bayliss that the time had come to im-art to )r. Jamesa -iece of ne*s *hich he had su--osed *ould reuire no im-arting.#e looked do*n u-on his young master1s recumbent form *ith agra!e commiseration. %t *as true that he had ne!er been able totell *ith any certainty *hether )r. James intended the statementshe made to be taken literally or not, but on the -resent occasionhe seemed to ha!e s-oken seriously and to be genuinely at a lossto recall an e-isode o!er the -rinted re-ort of *hich the entiredomestic staff had been gloating e!er since the arri!al of thehalf-enny morning -a-er to *hich they subscribed.

3&o you really mean it, )r. James73 he enuired cautiously.

3)ean *hat73

30ou ha!e really forgotten that you *ere engaged in a fracas lastnight at the 2i #undred "lub73

Jimmy sat u- *ith a jerk, staring at this omniscient man. Thenthe mo!ement ha!ing caused a rene*al of the o-erations of thered'hot corkscre*, he fell back again *ith a groan.

3Was %7 #o* on earth did you kno*7 Why should you kno* all aboutit *hen % can1t remember a thing7 %t *as my fault, not yours.3

3There is uite a long re-ort of it in to'day1s <&aily 2un<, )r.James.3

3 re-ort7 %n the <2un<73

3#alf a column, )r. James. Would you like me to fetch the -a-er7% ha!e it in my -antry.3

3% should say so. Trot a uick heat back *ith it. This *ants



looking into.3

Bayliss retired, to return immediately *ith the -a-er. Jimmy tookit, ga+ed at it, and handed it back.

3% o!erestimated my -o*ers. %t can1t be done. #a!e you anyim-ortant duties at the moment, Bayliss73

3/o, sir.3

3Perha-s you *ouldn1t mind reading me the bright little ecer-t,then73

3"ertainly, sir.3

3%t *ill be good -ractice for you. % am con!inced % am going to bea confirmed in!alid for the rest of my life, and it *ill be -artof your job to sit at my bedside and read to me. By the *ay, doesthe -a-er say *ho the -arty of the second -art *as7 Who *as theciti+en *ith *hom % *ent to the mat73

3(ord Percy Whi--le, )r. James.3

3(ord *ho73

3(ord Percy Whi--le.3

3/e!er heard of him. "arry on, Bayliss.3

Jimmy com-osed himself to listen, ya*ning.

"#PTE$ =

T#E )6$/%/G 5TE$

Bayliss took a s-ectacle'case from the recesses of his costume,o-ened it, took out a -air of gold'rimmed glasses, di!ed into thejungle again, came out *ith a handkerchief, -olished thes-ectacles, -ut them on his nose, closed the case, restored it toits original -osition, re-laced the handkerchief, and took u- the-a-er.

3Why the hesitation, Bayliss7 Why the coyness73 enuired Jimmy,lying *ith closed eyes. 3Begin43

3% *as adjusting my glasses, sir.3

3ll set no*73

30es, sir. 2hall % read the headlines first73

3$ead e!erything.3

The butler cleared his throat.



3Good #ea!ens, Bayliss,3 moaned Jimmy, starting, 3don1t gargle.#a!e a heart4 Go on43

Bayliss began to read.

5$"2 %/ 52#%6/B(E /%G#T'"(B

2P$%G2 65 /6B%(%T0 B$W(

Jimmy o-ened his eyes, interested.

3m % a s-rig of nobility73

3%t is *hat the -a-er says, sir.3

3We li!e and learn. "arry on.3

The butler started to clear his throat, but checked himself.

2E/2T%6/( %/TE$/T%6/( "6/TE2T

BTT(%/G PE$"0

EnglandF

!

"0"(6/E J%)

mericaF

5(( &E2"$%PT%6/ B0 6$ E>PE$T

Jimmy sat u-.

3Bayliss, you1re indulging that distorted sense of humour ofyours again. That isn1t in the -a-er73

30es, sir. =ery large headlines.3

Jimmy groaned.

3Bayliss, %1ll gi!e you a -iece of ad!ice *hich may be useful toyou *hen you gro* u-. /e!er go about *ith ne*s-a-er men. %t allcomes back to me. 6ut of -ure kindness of heart % took young BillBlake of the <2un< to su--er at the 2i #undred last night. This ismy re*ard. % su--ose he thinks it funny. /e*s-a-er men are a lo*

lot, Bayliss.3

32hall % go on, sir73

3)ost doubtless. (et me hear all.3

Bayliss resumed. #e *as one of those readers *ho, *hether theirsubject be a murder case or a funny anecdote, ado-t a measuredand se-ulchral deli!ery *hich gi!es a suggestion of tragedy andhorror to *hate!er they read. t the church *hich he attended on



2undays, of *hich he *as one of the most influential andres-ected members, children *ould turn -ale and snuggle u- totheir mothers *hen Bayliss read the lessons. 0oung )r. Blake1saccount of the o!ernight -roceedings at the 2i #undred "lub herendered *ith a gloomy gusto more marked e!en than his *ont. %thad a to-ical interest for him *hich urged him to etend himself.

3t an early hour this morning, *hen our myriad readers*ere enjoying that refreshing and brain'restoring slee- sonecessary to the -ro-er a--reciation of the <&aily 2un< atthe breakfast table, one of the most interesting s-ortinge!ents of the season *as being -ulled off at the 2i#undred "lub in $egent 2treet, *here, after three roundsof fast echanges, James B. "rocker, the *ell'kno*nmerican *elter'*eight scra--er, succeeded in sto--ing(ord Percy Whi--le, second son of the &uke of &e!i+es,better kno*n as the Pride of 6ld England. 6nce again thesu-eriority of the merican o!er the English style ofboing *as demonstrated. Battling Percy has a kind heart,but "yclone Jim -acks the -unch.3

3The immediate cause of the encounter had to do *ith adis-uted table, *hich each gladiator claimed to ha!eengaged in ad!ance o!er the tele-hone.3

3% begin to remember,3 said Jimmy meditati!ely. 3 -ill *ithbutter'coloured hair tried to jum- my claim. #oneyed *ords-ro!ing fruitless, % soaked him on the ja*. %t may be that % *asnot *holly myself. % seem to remember an animated session at theEm-ire earlier in the e!ening, *hich may ha!e im-aired myself'control. Proceed43

36ne *ord leading to others, *hich in their turn led tose!eral more, "yclone Jim struck Battling Percy on *hatour rude forefathers *ere accustomed to describe as thema++ard, and the gong sounded for

3$6/& 6/E

3Both men came u- fresh and eager to mi things, though itseems only too -robable that they had already been miingmore things than *as good for them. Battling Percy tried aright s*ing *hich got home on a *aiter. "yclone Jim -ut ina ra-id one't*o -unch *hich o-ened a large gash in theatmos-here. Both men s-arred cautiously, being ham-ered intheir mo!ements by the fact, *hich neither had at thisstage of the -roceedings -ercei!ed, that they *ere on

o--osite sides of the dis-uted table. cle!er 5it+simmons1shift on the -art of the Battler remo!ed this obstacle,and some brisk *ork ensued in neutral territory. Percylanded t*ice *ithout a return. The Battler1s round by ashade.

3$6/& TW6

3The "yclone came out of his corner *ith a rush, gettinghome on the Battler1s shirt'front and follo*ing it u- *ith



a right to the chin. Percy s*ung *ildly and u-set a bottleof cham-agne on a neighbouring table. good rallyfollo*ed, both men doing im-ressi!e in'fighting. The"yclone landed three *ithout a return. The "yclone1sround.

3$6/& T#$EE

3Percy came u- *eak, seeming to be o!ertrained. The"yclone *aded in, using both hands effecti!ely. TheBattler fell into a clinch, but the "yclone broke a*ayand, measuring his distance, -icked u- a haymaker from thefloor and -ut it o!er. Percy do*n and out.

3%nter!ie*ed by our re-resentati!e after the fight,"yclone Jim said: 1The issue *as ne!er in doubt. % *ashandica--ed at the outset by the fact that % *as under theim-ression that % *as fighting three t*in'brothers, and %missed se!eral o--ortunities of -utting o!er the *inning*allo- by attacking the outside ones. %t *as only in the

second round that % decided to concentrate my assault onthe one in the middle, *hen the affair s-eedily came to aconclusion. % shall not ado-t -ugilism as a -rofession.The -ri+es are attracti!e, but it is too much like *ork.13

Bayliss ceased, and silence fell u-on the room.

3%s that all73

3That is all, sir.3

3nd about enough.3

3=ery true, sir.3

30ou kno*, Bayliss,3 said Jimmy thoughtfully, rolling o!er on thecouch, 3life is -eculiar, not to say odd. 0ou ne!er kno* *hat is*aiting for you round the corner. 0ou start the day *ith thefairest -ros-ects, and before nightfall e!erything is as rockyand ding'basted as stig tossed full of doodlegammon. Why is this,Bayliss73

3% couldn1t say, sir.3

3(ook at me. % go out to s-end a ha--y e!ening, meaning no harmto any one, and % come back all blue *ith the blood of thearistocracy. We no* come to a serious -oint. &o you think my

lady ste-mother has read that s-orting chronicle73

3% fancy not, )r. James.3

36n *hat do you base these *ords of comfort73

3)rs. "rocker does not read the half-enny -a-ers, sir.3

3True4 2he does not. % had forgotten. 6n the other hand the-robability that she *ill learn about the little incident from



other sources is great. % think the merest -rudence suggests that% kee- out of the *ay for the time being, lest % be fallen u-onand uestioned. % am not eual to being uestioned this morning.% ha!e a headache *hich starts at the soles of my feet and gets*orse all the *ay u-. Where is my ste-mother73

3)rs. "rocker is in her room, )r. James. 2he ordered the car tobe brought round at once. %t should be here at any moment no*,sir. % think )rs. "rocker intends to !isit the Park beforeluncheon.3

3%s she lunching out73

30es, sir.3

3Then, if % -ursue the ecellent common'sense tactics of thelesser sand'eel, *hich as you doubtless kno* buries itself tailu-*ards in the mud on hearing the baying of the eel'hounds andremains in that -osition till the danger is -ast, % shall be ableto -ost-one an inter!ie*. 2hould you be uestioned as to my

*hereabouts, inflate your chest and re-ly in a clear and manly!oice that % ha!e gone out, you kno* not *here. )ay % rely onyour bene!olent neutrality, Bayliss73

3=ery good, )r. James.3

3% think % *ill go and sit in my father1s den. man may lie hidthere *ith some success as a rule.3

Jimmy hea!ed himself -ainfully off the sofa, blinked, and set outfor the den, *here his father, in a dee- arm'chair, *as smoking arestful -i-e and reading the -ortions of the daily -a-ers *hichdid not deal *ith the game of cricket.

)r. "rocker1s den *as a small room at the back of the house. %t*as not luurious, and it looked out onto a blank *all, but it*as the s-ot he liked best in all that !ast -ile *hich had onceechoed to the tread of titled shoes9 for, as he sometimesobser!ed to his son, it had the distinction of being the onlyroom on the ground floor *here a fello* could mo!e *ithoutstubbing his toe on a countess or an honourable. %n this -eacefulback*ater he could smoke a -i-e, -ut his feet u-, take off hiscoat, and generally indulge in that liberty and -ursuit ofha--iness to *hich the "onstitution entitles a free'bornmerican. /obody e!er came there ece-t Jimmy and himself.

#e did not sus-end his reading at his son1s entrance. #e muttered

a *elcome through the clouds, but he did not raise his eyes.Jimmy took the other arm'chair, and began to smoke silently. %t*as the un*ritten la* of the den that soothing silence ratherthan aimless chatter should -re!ail. %t *as not until a uarterof an hour had -assed that )r. "rocker dro--ed his -a-er ands-oke.

32ay, Jimmy, % *ant to talk to you.3

32ay on. 0ou ha!e our ear.3



32eriously.3

3"ontinue''al*ays, ho*e!er, kee-ing before you the fact that % ama sick man. (ast night *as a *ild night on the moors, dad.3

3%t1s about your ste-mother. 2he *as talking at breakfast aboutyou. 2he1s sore at you for gi!ing 2-ike &illon lunch at the"arlton. 0ou oughtn1t to ha!e taken him there, Jimmy. That1s *hatgot her goat. 2he *as there *ith a bunch of s*ells and they hadto sit and listen to 2-ike talking about his half'scissors hook.3

3What1s their kick against 2-ike1s half'scissors hook7 %t1s adarned good one.3

32he said she *as going to s-eak to you about it. % thought %1dlet you kno*.3

3Thanks, dad. But *as that all73

3ll.3

3ll that she *as going to s-eak to me about7 2ure there *asnothing else73

32he didn1t say anything about anything else.3

3Then she <doesn1t< kno*4 5ine43

)r. "rocker1s feet came do*n from the mantel-iece *ith a crash.

3Jimmy4 0ou ha!en1t been raising "ain again73

3/o, no, dad. /othing serious. #igh's-irited 0oung Patricianstuff, the sort of thing that1s e-ected of a fello* in my-osition.3

)r. "rocker *as not to be comforted.

3Jimmy, you1!e got to -ull u-. #onest, you ha!e. % don1t care formyself. % like to see a boy ha!ing a good time. But your

ste-mother says you1re a-t to ueer us *ith the -eo-le u- to-,the *ay you1re going on. (ord kno*s % *ouldn1t care if things*ere different, but %1ll tell you eactly ho* % stand. % didn1tget *ise till this morning. 0our ste-mother s-rang it on mesuddenly. %1!e often *ondered *hat all this stuff *as about, this

li!ing in (ondon and trailing the s*ells. % couldn1t think *hat*as your ste-mother1s idea. /o* % kno*. Jimmy, she1s trying toget them to make me a -eer43

3What43

3Just that. nd she says''3

3But, dad, this is rich4 This is comedy of a high order4 -eer4Good #ea!ens, if it comes off, *hat shall % be7 This title



business is all so com-licated. % kno* % should ha!e to change myname to #on. $ollo "holmondeley or the #on. ubrey )arjoribanks,but *hat % *ant to kno* is *hich7 % *ant to be -re-ared for the*orst.3

3nd you see, Jimmy, these -eo-le u- to-, the guys *ho arrangethe gi!ing of titles, are kee-ing an eye on you, because you*ould ha!e the title after me and naturally they don1t *ant toget stung. % gathered all that from your ste-mother. 2ay, Jimmy,%1m not asking a lot of you, but there is just one thing you cando for me *ithout -utting yourself out too much.3

3%1ll do it, dad, if it kills me. 2li- me the info43

30our ste-mother1s friend (ady "orstor-hine1s ne-he* . . .3

3%t1s not the sort of story to ask a man *ith a headache tofollo*. % ho-e it gets sim-ler as it goes along.3

30our ste-mother *ants you to be a good fello* and make friends

*ith this boy. 0ou see, his father is in right *ith the Premierand has the biggest kind of a -ull *hen it comes to handing outtitles.3

3%s that all you *ant7 (ea!e it to me. %nside of a *eek %1ll be-laying kiss'in'the'ring *ith him. The *hole force of my sunny-ersonality shall be directed to*ards making him lo!e me. What1shis name73

3(ord Percy Whi--le.3

Jimmy1s -i-e fell *ith a clatter.

3&ad, -ull yourself together4 $eflect4 0ou kno* you don1tseriously mean (ord Percy Whi--le.3

3Eh73

Jimmy laid a soothing hand on his father1s shoulder.

3&ad, -re-are yourself for the big laugh. This is *here you thro*your head back and roar *ith honest mirth. % met (ord PercyWhi--le last night at the 2i #undred "lub. Words ensued. % fellu-on Percy and beat his block off4 #o* it started, ece-t that *eboth *anted the same table, % couldn1t say. 1Why, that % cannottell,1 said he, 1but 1t*as a famous !ictory41 %f % had kno*n,dad, nothing *ould ha!e induced me to lay a hand u-on Perce, sa!e

in the *ay of kindness, but, not e!en kno*ing *ho he *as, it*ould a--ear from contem-orary accounts of the affair that % justnaturally sailed in and e-unged the -oor, dear boy43

The stunning nature of this information had much the same effecton )r. "rocker as the announcement of his ruin has u-on the Good6ld )an in melodrama. #e sat clutching the arms of his chair andstaring into s-ace, saying nothing. &ismay *as *ritten u-on hisanguished countenance.



#is colla-se sobered Jimmy. 5or the first time he -ercei!ed thatthe situation had another side than the humorous one *hich hada--ealed to him. #e had antici-ated that )r. "rocker, *ho as ageneral thing shared his notions of *hat *as funny and could berelied on to laugh in the right -lace, *ould ha!e been struck,like himself, by the odd and -leasing coincidence of his ha!ing-icked on for -ur-oses of assault and battery the one young man*ith *hom his ste-mother *ished him to form a firm and lastingfriendshi-. #e -ercei!ed no* that his father *as seriously u-set./either Jimmy nor )r. "rocker -ossessed a demonstrati!e nature,but there had al*ays eisted bet*een them the dee-est affection.Jimmy lo!ed his father as he lo!ed nobody else in the *orld, andthe thought of ha!ing hurt him *as like a -hysical -ain. #islaughter died a*ay and he set himself *ith a sinking heart to tryto undo the effect of his *ords.

3%1m a*fully sorry, dad. % had no idea you *ould care. % *ouldn1tha!e done a fool thing like that for a million dollars if %1dkno*n. %sn1t there anything % can do7 Gee *hi+4 %1ll go rightround to Percy no* and a-ologise. %1ll lick his boots. &on1t you

*orry, dad. %1ll make it all right.3

The *hirl of *ords roused )r. "rocker from his thoughts.

3%t doesn1t matter, Jimmy. &on1t *orry yourself. %t1s only alittle unfortunate, because our ste-mother says she *on1t thinkof our going back to merica till these -eo-le here ha!e gi!en mea title. 2he *ants to -ut one o!er on her sister. That1s allthat1s troubling me, the thought that this affair *ill set usback, this (ord Percy being in so strong *ith the guys *ho gi!ethe titles. % guess it *ill mean my staying on here for a *hilelonger, and %1d liked to ha!e seen another ball'game. Jimmy, doyou kno* they call baseball $ounders in this country, andchildren -lay it *ith a soft ball43

Jimmy *as striding u- and do*n the little room. $emorse had himin its gri-.

3What a damned fool % am43

3/e!er mind, Jimmy. %t1s unfortunate, but it *asn1t your fault.0ou couldn1t kno*.3

3%t *as my fault. /obody but a fool like me *ould go aboutbeating -eo-le u-. But don1t *orry, dad. %t1s going to be allright. %1ll fi it. %1m going right round to this fello* Percyno* to make things all right. % *on1t come back till %1!e suared

him. &on1t you bother yourself about it any longer, dad. %t1sgoing to be all right.3

"#PTE$ =%

J%))0 B/&6/2 P%""&%((0

Jimmy remo!ed himself sorro*fully from the doorste- of the &uke



of &e!i+es1 house in "le!eland $o*. #is mission had been afailure. %n ans*er to his reuest to be -ermitted to see (ordPercy Whi--le, the butler had re-lied that (ord Percy *asconfined to his bed and *as seeing nobody. #e eyed Jimmy, onrecei!ing his name, *ith an interest *hich he failed to conceal,for he too, like Bayliss, had read and heartily enjoyed BillBlake1s s-irited !ersion of the affair of last night *hich hada--eared in the <&aily 2un<. %ndeed, he had cli--ed the re-ort outand had been engaged in -asting it in an album *hen the bellrang.

%n face of this re-ulse, Jimmy1s cam-aign broke do*n. #e *as at aloss to kno* *hat to do net. #e ebbed a*ay from the &uke1s frontdoor like an army that has made an unsuccessful frontal attack onan im-regnable fortress. #e could hardly force his *ay in andsearch for (ord Percy.

#e *alked along Pall )all, dee- in thought. %t *as a beautifulday. The rain *hich had fallen in the night and relie!ed )r."rocker from the necessity of *atching cricket had freshened

(ondon u-.

The sun *as shining no* from a turuoise sky. gentle bree+eble* from the south. Jimmy made his *ay into Piccadilly, andfound that thoroughfare a'roar *ith ha--y automobilists andcheery -edestrians. Their gaiety irritated him. #e resentedtheir a--arent enjoyment of life.

Jimmy1s *as not a nature that lent itself readily tointros-ection, but he *as -utting himself no* through a searchingself'eamination *hich *as re!ealing all kinds of unsus-ectedfla*s in his character. #e had been ha!ing too good a time foryears -ast to ha!e leisure to realise that he -ossessed anyres-onsibilities. #e had li!ed each day as it came in the s-iritof the )onks of Thelema. But his father1s rece-tion of the ne*sof last night1s esca-ade and the fe* *ords he had said had gi!enhim -ause. (ife had taken on of a sudden a less sim-le as-ect.&imly, for he *as not accustomed to thinking along these lines,he -ercei!ed the numbing truth that *e human beings are merely asmany -ieces in a jig'sa* -u++le and that our e!ery mo!ementaffects the fortunes of some other -iece. Just so, faintly atfirst and taking sha-e by degrees, must the germ of ci!ic s-iritha!e come to Prehistoric )an. We are all indi!idualists till *e*ake u-.

The thought of ha!ing done anything to make his father unha--y*as bitter to Jimmy "rocker. They had al*ays been more like

brothers than father and son. #ard thoughts about himself surgedthrough Jimmy1s mind. With a dejectedness to *hich it is -ossiblethat his headache contributed he -ut the matter suarely tohimself. #is father *as longing to return to merica''he, Jimmy,by his idiotic beha!iour *as -utting obstacles in the *ay of thatreturn''*hat *as the ans*er7 The ans*er, to Jimmy1s *ay ofthinking, *as that all *as not *ell *ith James "rocker, that,*hen all the e!idence *as *eighed, James "rocker *ould a--ear tobe a fool, a *orm, a selfish *aster, and a ho-eless, lo*'do*n,skunk.



#a!ing come to this conclusion, Jimmy found himself so lo* ins-irit that the cheerful bustle of Piccadilly *as too much forhim. #e turned, and began to retrace his ste-s. rri!ing in duecourse at the to- of the #aymarket he hesitated, then turned do*nit till he reached "ocks-ur 2treet. #ere the Trans'tlanticsteamshi- com-anies ha!e their offices, and so it came about thatJimmy, chancing to look u- as he *alked, -ercei!ed before him,riding gallantly on a cardboard ocean behind a -late'glass*indo*, the model of a noble !essel. #e sto--ed, conscious of acurious thrill. There is a su-erstition in all of us. When anaccidental ha--ening chances to fit smoothly in *ith a mood,seeming to come as a direct commentary on that mood, *e are a-tto acce-t it in defiance of our -ure reason as an omen. Jimmystrode to the *indo* and ins-ected the model narro*ly. The sightof it had started a ne* train of thought. #is heart began torace. #y-notic influences *ere at *ork on him.

Why not7 "ould there be a sim-ler solution of the *hole trouble7

%nside the office he *ould see a man *ith *hiskers buying aticket for /e* 0ork. The sim-licity of the -rocess fascinatedhim. ll you had to do *as to *alk in, bend o!er the counter*hile the clerk behind it made dabs *ith a -encil at theillustrated -late of the shi-1s interior organs, and hand o!eryour money. child could do it, if in funds. t this thought hishand strayed to his trouser'-ocket. musical crackling ofbank'notes -roceeded from the de-ths. #is uarterly allo*ance hadbeen -aid to him only a short *hile before, and, though a *illings-ender, he still retained a goodly -ortion of it. #e rustled thenotes again. There *as enough in that -ocket to buy three ticketsto /e* 0ork. 2hould he7 . . . 6r, on the other hand''al*ays lookon both sides of the uestion''should he not7

%t *ould certainly seem to be the best thing for all -arties ifhe did follo* the im-ulse. By remaining in (ondon he *as injuringe!erybody, himself included. . . . Well, there *as no harm inmaking enuiries. Probably the boat *as full u- any*ay. . . . #e*alked into the office.

3#a!e you anything left on the <tlantic< this tri-73

The clerk behind the counter *as uite the *rong sort of -ersonfor Jimmy to ha!e had dealings *ith in his -resent mood. WhatJimmy needed *as a gra!e, sensible man *ho *ould ha!e laid a handon his shoulder and said 3&o nothing rash, my boy43 The clerkfell short of this ideal in -ractically e!ery -articular. #e *as

about t*enty't*o, and he seemed -erfectly enthusiastic about theidea of Jimmy going to merica. #e beamed at Jimmy.

3Plenty of room,3 he said. 3=ery fe* -eo-le crossing. Gi!e youecellent accommodation.3

3When does the boat sail73

3Eight to'morro* morning from (i!er-ool. Boat'train lea!esPaddington si to'night.3



Prudence came at the ele!enth hour to check Jimmy. This *as not amatter, he -ercei!ed, to be decided recklessly, on the s-ur of asudden im-ulse. bo!e all, it *as not a matter to be decidedbefore lunch. n em-ty stomach breeds imagination. #e hadascertained that he could sail on the <tlantic< if he *ished to.The sensible thing to do no* *as to go and lunch and see ho* hefelt about it after that. #e thanked the clerk, and started to*alk u- the #aymarket, feeling hard'headed and -ractical, yet*ith a strong -remonition that he *as going to make a fool ofhimself just the same.

%t *as half'*ay u- the #aymarket that he first became consciousof the girl *ith the red hair.

Plunged in thought, he had not noticed her before. nd yet shehad been *alking a fe* -aces in front of him most of the *ay. 2hehad come out of Panton 2treet, *alking briskly, as one going tokee- a -leasant a--ointment. 2he carried herself admirably, *itha jaunty s*ing.

#a!ing become conscious of this girl, Jimmy, e!er a *arm admirerof the se, began to feel a certain interest stealing o!er him.With interest came s-eculation. #e *ondered *ho she *as. #e*ondered *here she had bought that ecellently fitting suit oftailor'made grey. #e admired her back, and *ondered *hether herface, if seen, *ould -ro!e a disa--ointment. Thus musing, he dre*near to the to- of the #aymarket, *here it ceases to be a streetand becomes a *hirl-ool of rushing traffic. nd here the girl,ha!ing -aused and looked o!er her shoulder, ste--ed off theside*alk. s she did so a tai'cab rounded the corner uicklyfrom the direction of "o!entry 2treet.

The agreeable sur-rise of finding the girl1s face fully asattracti!e as her back had stimulated Jimmy, so that he *as keyedu- for the ehibition of s*ift -resence'of'mind. #e jum-edfor*ard and caught her arm, and s*ung her to one side as the cabrattled -ast, its dri!er thinking hard thoughts to himself. The*hole e-isode *as an affair of seconds.

3Thank you,3 said the girl.

2he rubbed the arm *hich he had sei+ed *ith rather a ruefule-ression. 2he *as a little *hite, and her breath came uickly.

3% ho-e % didn1t hurt you,3 said Jimmy.

30ou did. =ery much. But the tai *ould ha!e hurt me more.3

2he laughed. 2he looked !ery attracti!e *hen she laughed. 2he hada small, -iuant, !i!acious face. Jimmy, as he looked at it, hadan odd feeling that he had seen her before''*hen and *here he didnot kno*. That mass of red'gold hair seemed curiously familiar.2ome*here in the hinterland of his mind there lurked a memory,but he could not bring it into the o-en. s for the girl, if shehad e!er met him before, she sho*ed no signs of recollecting it.Jimmy decided that, if he had seen her, it must ha!e been in his



re-orter days. 2he *as -lainly an merican, and he occasionallyhad the feeling that he had seen e!ery one in merica *hen he had*orked for the <"hronicle<.

3That1s right,3 he said a--ro!ingly. 3l*ays look on the brightside.3

3% only arri!ed in (ondon yesterday,3 said the girl, 3and %ha!en1t got used to your kee-ing'to'the'left rules. % don1tsu--ose % shall e!er get back to /e* 0ork ali!e. Perha-s, as youha!e sa!ed my life, you *ouldn1t mind doing me another ser!ice."an you tell me *hich is the nearest and safest *ay to arestaurant called the $egent Grill73

3%t1s just o!er there, at the corner of $egent 2treet. s to thesafest *ay, if % *ere you % should cross o!er at the to- of thestreet there and then *ork round *est*ard. 6ther*ise you *ill ha!eto cross Piccadilly "ircus.3

3% absolutely refuse e!en to try to cross Piccadilly "ircus.

Thank you !ery much. % *ill follo* your ad!ice. % ho-e % shallget there. %t doesn1t seem at all likely.3

2he ga!e him a little nod, and mo!ed a*ay. Jimmy turned into thatdrug'store at the to- of the #aymarket at *hich so many (ondonersha!e found healing and comfort on the morning after, and boughtthe -ink drink for *hich his system had been cra!ing since herose from bed. #e *ondered *hy, as he drained it, he should feelashamed and guilty.

fe* minutes later he found himself, *ith mild sur-rise, goingdo*n the ste-s of the $egent Grill. %t *as the last -lace he hadhad in his mind *hen he had left the steamshi- com-any1s officesin uest of lunch. #e had intended to seek out some uiet,restful nook *here he could be alone *ith his thoughts. %fanybody had told him then that fi!e minutes later he *ould be-lacing himself of his o*n free *ill *ithin the range of arestaurant orchestra -laying 3)y (ittle Grey #ome in theWest3''and the orchestra at the $egent -layed little else''he*ould not ha!e belie!ed him.

$estaurants in all large cities ha!e their u-s and do*ns. t thistime the $egent Grill *as enjoying one of those bursts of-o-ularity for *hich restaurateurs -ray to *hate!er strange godsthey *orshi-. The more -ros-erous section of (ondon1s Bohemiaflocked to it daily. When Jimmy had de-osited his hat *ith therobber'band *ho had their ca!e just inside the main entrance and

had entered the grill'room, he found it congested. There did nota--ear to be a single unoccu-ied table.

5rom *here he stood he could see the girl of the red'gold hair.#er back *as to*ards him, and she *as sitting at a table againstone of the -illars *ith a little man *ith eye'glasses, a handsome*oman in the forties, and a small stout boy *ho *as skirmishing*ith the oli!es. s Jimmy hesitated, the !igilant head'*aiter,*ho kne* him *ell, -ercei!ed him, and hurried u-.



3%n one moment, )ister "rockaire43 he said, and began to scattercommands among the underlings. 3% *ill -lace a table for you inthe aisle.3

3/et to that -illar, -lease,3 said Jimmy.

The underlings had -roduced a small table''a--arently from u-their slee!es, and *ere dra-ing it in a cloth. Jimmy sat do*n andga!e his order. 6rdering *as going on at the other table. Thelittle man seemed de-ressed at the disco!ery that corn on the coband soft'shelled crabs *ere not to be obtained, and his *ife1srece-tion of the ne*s that clams *ere not included in the$egent1s bill'of'fare *as so indignant that one *ould ha!e saidthat she regarded the fact as e!idence that Great Britain *asgoing to -ieces and *ould shortly lose her -lace as a *orld-o*er.

selection ha!ing finally been agreed u-on, the orchestra strucku- 3)y (ittle Grey #ome in the West,3 and no attem-t *as made tocom-ete *ith it. When the last lingering strains had died a*ay

and the !iolinist'leader, ha!ing straightened out the kinks inhis -erson *hich the rendition of the melody ne!er failed to-roduce, had bo*ed for the last time, a clear, musical !oices-oke from the other side of the -illar.

3Jimmy "rocker is a W6$)43

Jimmy s-illed his cocktail. %t might ha!e been the !oice of"onscience.

3% des-ise him more than any one on earth. % hate to think thathe1s an merican.3

Jimmy drank the fe* dro-s that remained in his glass, -artly tomake sure of them, -artly as a restorati!e. %t is an unner!ingthing to be des-ised by a red'haired girl *hose life you ha!ejust sa!ed. To Jimmy it *as not only unner!ing9 it *as uncanny.This girl had not kno*n him *hen they met on the street a fe*moments before. #o* then *as she able to dis-lay such intimateacuaintance *ith his character no* as to describe him''justlyenough''as a *orm7 )ingled *ith the mystery of the thing *as its-athos. The thought that a girl could be as -retty as this oneand yet dislike him so much *as one of the saddest things Jimmyhad e!er come across. %t *as like one of those Things Which )ake)e Wee- %n This Great "ity so dear to the hearts of thesob'*riters of his late ne*s-a-er.

*aiter bustled u- *ith a high'ball. Jimmy thanked him *ith hiseyes. #e needed it. #e raised it to his li-s.

3#e1s al*ays drinking''3

#e set it do*n hurriedly.

3''and making a disgraceful ehibition of himself in -ublic4 %al*ays think Jimmy "rocker''3



Jimmy began to *ish that somebody *ould sto- this girl. Whycouldn1t the little man change the subject to the *eather, orthat stout child start -rattling about some general to-ic7 2urelya boy of that age, ne*ly arri!ed in (ondon, must ha!e all sortsof things to -rattle about7 But the little man *as dealingstrenuously *ith a breaded cutlet, *hile the stout boy, grimlysilent, surrounded fish'-ie in the forthright manner of astar!ing -ython. s for the elder *oman, she seemed to be*restling *ith un-leasant thoughts, beyond s-eech.

3''% al*ays think that Jimmy "rocker is the *orst case % kno* ofthe kind of merican young man *ho s-ends all his time in Euro-eand tries to become an imitation Englishman. )ost of them are thesort any country *ould be glad to get rid of, but he used to *orkonce, so you can1t ecuse him on the ground that he hasn1t thesense to kno* *hat he1s doing. #e1s deliberately chosen to loafabout (ondon and make a -est of himself. #e *ent to -ieces *ithhis eyes o-en. #e1s a -erfect, utter, ho-eless W6$)43

Jimmy had ne!er been !ery fond of the orchestra at the $egent

Grill, holding the !ie* that it interfered *ith con!ersation andmade for an unhygienic ra-idity of mastication9 but he *as-rofoundly grateful to it no* for bursting suddenly into <(aBoheme<, the loudest item in its re-ertory. nder co!er of that-rotecti!e din he *as able to toy *ith a steaming dish *hich his*aiter had brought. Probably that girl *as saying all sorts ofthings about him still but he could not hear them.

The music died a*ay. 5or a moment the tortured air ui!ered incom-arati!e silence9 then the girl1s !oice s-oke again. 2he had,ho*e!er, selected another to-ic of con!ersation.

3%1!e seen all % *ant to of England,3 she said, 3%1!e seenWestminster bbey and the #ouses of Parliament and #is )ajesty1sTheatre and the 2a!oy and the "heshire "heese, and %1!e de!elo-eda frightful home'sickness. Why shouldn1t *e go back to'morro*73

5or the first time in the -roceedings the elder *oman s-oke. 2hecast aside her mantle of gloom long enough to say 30es,3 then*ra--ed it round her again. The little man, *ho had a--arentlybeen *aiting for her !ote before gi!ing his o*n, said that thesooner he *as on board a /e* 0ork'bound boat the better he *ouldbe -leased. The stout boy said nothing. #e had finished hisfish'-ie, and *as no* attacking jam roll *ith a sort of moroseresolution.

3There1s certain to be a boat,3 said the girl. 3There al*ays is.

0ou1!e got to say that for England''it1s an easy -lace to get backto merica from.3 2he -aused. 3What % can1t understand is ho*,after ha!ing been in merica and kno*ing *hat it *as like, Jimmy"rocker could stand li!ing . . .3

The *aiter had come to Jimmy1s side, bearing cheese9 but Jimmylooked at it *ith dislike and shook his head in silent negation.#e *as about to de-art from this -lace. #is ca-acity forabsorbing home'truths about himself *as ehausted. #e -laced anoiseless so!ereign on the table, caught the *aiter1s eye,



registered renunciation, and de-arted soft'footed do*n the aisle.The *aiter, a man *ho had ne!er been able to bring himself tobelie!e in miracles, re!ised the !ie*s of a life'time. #e lookedat the so!ereign, then at Jimmy, then at the so!ereign again.Then he took u- the coin and bit it furti!ely.

fe* minutes later, a hat'check boy, unti--ed for the first timein his -redatory career, *as staring at Jimmy *ith eualintensity, but *ith far different feelings. 2-eechless concern*as limned on his young face.

The commissionaire at the Piccadilly entrance of the restauranttouched his hat ingratiatingly, *ith the smug confidence of a man*ho is accustomed to getting si-ence a time for doing it.

3Tai, )r. "rocker73

3 *orm,3 said Jimmy.

3Beg -ardon, sir73

3l*ays drinking,3 e-lained Jimmy, 3and making a -est ofhimself.3

#e -assed on. The commissionaire stared after him as intently asthe *aiter and the hat'check boy. #e had sometimes kno*n )r."rocker like this after su--er, but ne!er before during theluncheon hour.

Jimmy made his *ay to his club in /orthumberland !enue. 5or-erha-s half an hour he sat in a condition of coma in thesmoking'room9 then, his mind made u-, he *ent to one of the*riting'tables. #e sat a*aiting ins-iration for some minutes,then began to *rite.

The letter he *rote *as to his father:

&ear &ad:

% ha!e been thinking o!er *hat *e talked about thismorning, and it seems to me the best thing % can do is todro- out of sight for a brief s-ace. %f % stay on in(ondon, % am likely at any moment to -ull some boner likelast night1s *hich *ill s-ill the beans for you once more.The least % can do for you is to gi!e you a clear fieldand not interfere, so % am off to /e* 0ork by to'night1s

boat.

% *ent round to Percy1s to try to gro!el in the dustbefore him, but he *ouldn1t see me. %t1s no goodgro!elling in the dust of the front ste-s for the benefitof a man *ho1s in bed on the second floor, so % *ithdre*in more or less good order. % then got the -resent idea.)ark ho* all things *ork together for good. When they cometo you and say 3/o title for you. 0our son slugged our -alPercy,3 all you ha!e to do is to come back at them *ith 3%



kno* my son slugged Percy, and belie!e me % didn1t do athing to him4 % -acked him off to merica *ithint*enty'four hours. Get me right, boys4 %1m anti'Jimmy and-ro'Percy.3 To *hich their re-ly *ill be 36h, *ell, inthat case arise, (ord "rocker43 or *hate!er they say *hensli--ing a title to a deser!ing guy. 2o you *ill see thatby making this geta*ay % am doing the best % can to -utthings straight. % shall gi!e this to Bayliss to gi!e toyou. % am going to call him u- on the -hone in a minute toha!e him -ack a fe* sim-le tooth'brushes and so on for me.6n landing in /e* 0ork, % shall instantly -roceed to thePolo Grounds to *atch a game of $ounders, and *ill cableyou the full score. Well. % think that1s about all. 2ogood'bye''or e!en fare*ell''for the -resent.

J.

P.2. % kno* you1ll understand, dad. %1m doing *hat seemsto me the only -ossible thing. &on1t *orry about me. %shall be all right. %1ll get back my old job and be a

terrific success all round. 0ou go ahead and get thattitle and then meet me at the entrance of the PoloGrounds. %1ll be looking for you.

P.P.2. %1m a *orm.

The young clerk at the steamshi- offices a--eared rejoiced to seeJimmy once more. With a sunny smile he snatched a -encil from hisear and -lunged it into the !itals of the tlantic.

3#o* about E. a hundred and eight73

32uits me.3

30ou1re too late to go in the -assenger'list, of course.3

Jimmy did not re-ly. #e *as ga+ing rigidly at a girl *ho had justcome in, a girl *ith red hair and a friendly smile.

32o you1re sailing on the <tlantic<, too43 she said, *ith a glanceat the chart on the counter. 3#o* odd4 We ha!e just decided to goback on her too. There1s nothing to kee- us here and *e1re allhomesick. Well, you see % *asn1t run o!er after % left you.3

delicious understanding relie!ed Jimmy1s s*imming brain, asthunder relie!es the tense and straining air. The feeling that he

*as going mad left him, as the sim-le solution of his mysterycame to him. This girl must ha!e heard of him in /e*0ork''-erha-s she kne* -eo-le *hom he kne* and it *as on hearsay,not on -ersonal acuaintance, that she based that dislike of him*hich she had e-ressed *ith such freedom and con!iction so shorta *hile before at the $egent Grill. 2he did not kno* *ho he *as4

%nto this soothing stream of thought cut the !oice of the clerk.

3What name, -lease73



Jimmy1s mind rocked again. Why *ere these things ha--ening to himto'day of all days, *hen he needed the tenderest treatment, *henhe had a headache already7

The clerk *as eyeing him e-ectantly. #e had laid do*n his -enciland *as holding aloft a -en. Jimmy gul-ed. E!ery name in theEnglish language had -assed from his mind. nd then from out ofthe dark came ins-iration.

3Bayliss,3 he croaked.

The girl held out her hand.

3Then *e can introduce oursel!es at last. )y name is nn "hester.#o* do you do, )r. Bayliss73

3#o* do you do, )iss "hester73

The clerk had finished *riting the ticket, and *as -ressing

labels and a -ink -a-er on him. The -a-er, he gathered dully, *asa form and had to be filled u-. #e eamined it, and found it tobe a searching document. 2ome of its uestions could be ans*eredoff'hand, others reuired thought.

3#eight73 2im-le. 5i!e foot ele!en.

3#air73 2im-le. Bro*n.

3Eyes73 2im-le again. Blue.

/et, ueries of a more offensi!e kind.

3re you a -olygamist73

#e could ans*er that. &ecidedly no. 6ne *ife *ould beam-le''-ro!ided she had red'gold hair, bro*n'gold eyes, the rightkind of mouth, and a dim-le. Whate!er doubts there might be inhis mind on other -oints, on that one he had none *hate!er.

3#a!e you e!er been in -rison73

/ot yet.

nd then a !ery difficult one. 3re you a lunatic73

Jimmy hesitated. The ink dried on his -en. #e *as *ondering.

H H H

%n the dim ca!ern of Paddington 2tation the boat'train snortedim-atiently, !arying the -rocess *ith an occasional shar- shriek.The hands of the station clock -ointed to ten minutes to si. The-latform *as a confused mass of tra!ellers, -orters, baggage,trucks, boys *ith buns and fruits, boys *ith maga+ines, friends,



relati!es, and Bayliss the butler, standing like a faithful*atchdog beside a large suitcase. To the human surf that brokeand s*irled about him he -aid no attention. #e *as looking forthe young master.

Jimmy clo!e the cro*d like a one'man flying'*edge. T*o fruit andbun boys *ho im-eded his -assage drifted a*ay like lea!es on anutumn gale.

3Good man43 #e -ossessed himself of the suitcase. 3% *as afraidyou might not be able to get here.3

3The mistress is dining out, )r. James. % *as able to lea!e thehouse.3

3#a!e you -acked e!erything % shall *ant73

3Within the sco-e of a suitcase, yes, sir.3

32-lendid4 6h, by the *ay, gi!e this letter to my father, *ill

you73

3=ery good, sir.3

3%1m glad you *ere able to manage. % thought your !oice soundeddoubtful o!er the -hone.3

3% *as a good deal taken aback, )r. James. 0our decision to lea!e*as so etremely sudden.3

32o *as "olumbus1. 0ou kno* about him7 #e sa* an egg standing onits head and *hi++ed off like a jack'rabbit.3

3%f you *ill -ardon the liberty, )r. James, is it not a littlerash''73

3&on1t take the joy out of life, Bayliss. % may be a chum-, buttry to forget it. se your *ill-o*er.3

3Good e!ening, )r. Bayliss,3 said a !oice behind them. They bothturned. The butler *as ga+ing rather coyly at a !ision in a greytailor'made suit.

3Good e!ening, miss,3 he said doubtfully.

nn looked at him in astonishment, then broke into a smile.

3#o* stu-id of me4 % meant this )r. Bayliss. 0our son4 We met atthe steamshi- offices. nd before that he sa!ed my life. 2o *eare old friends.3

Bayliss, ga-ing -er-leedly and feeling uneual to theintellectual -ressure of the con!ersation, *as sur-rised furtherto -ercei!e a *arning sco*l on the face of his )r. James. Jimmyhad not foreseen this thing, but he had a uick mind and *as



eual to it.

3#o* are you, )iss "hester7 )y father has come do*n to see meoff. This is )iss "hester, dad.3

British butler is not easily robbed of his -oise, but Bayliss*as frankly uneual to the sudden demand on his -resence of mind.#e lo*ered his ja* an inch or t*o, but s-oke no *ord.

3&ad1s a little u-set at my going,3 *his-ered Jimmyconfidentially. 3#e1s not uite himself.3

nn *as a girl -ossessed not only of ready tact but of a kindheart. 2he had summed u- )r. Bayliss at a glance. E!ery line ofhim -roclaimed him a res-ectable u--er ser!ant. /o girl on earthcould ha!e been freer than she of snobbish -rejudice, but shecould not check a slight thrill of sur-rise and disa--ointment atthe disco!ery of Jimmy1s humble origin. 2he understood e!erything,and there *ere tears in her eyes as she turned a*ay to a!oidintruding on the last moments of the -arting of father and son.

3%1ll see you on the boat, )r. Bayliss,3 she said.

3Eh73 said Bayliss.

30es, yes,3 said Jimmy. 3Good'bye till then.3

nn *alked on to her com-artment. 2he felt as if she had just reada *hole long no!el, one of those chunky younger'English'no!elistthings. 2he kne* the *hole story as *ell as if it had been toldto her in detail. 2he could see the father, the honest steadybutler, li!ing his life *ith but one aim, to make a gentleman ofhis belo!ed only son. 0ear by year he had sa!ed. Probably he hadsent the son to college. nd no*, *ith a father1s blessing andthe remains of a father1s sa!ings, the boy *as setting out forthe /e* World, *here dollar'bills gre* on trees and no one askedor cared *ho any one else1s father might be.

There *as a lum- in her throat. Bayliss *ould ha!e been ama+ed ifhe could ha!e kno*n *hat a figure of -athetic fineness he seemedto her. nd then her thoughts turned to Jimmy, and she *as a*areof a glo* of kindliness to*ards him. #is father had succeeded inhis life1s ambition. #e had -roduced a gentleman4 #o* easily andsim-ly, *ithout a trace of snobbish shame, the young man hadintroduced his father. There *as the right stuff in him. #e *asnot ashamed of the humble man *ho had gi!en him his chance inlife. 2he found herself liking Jimmy ama+ingly . . .

The hands of the clock -ointed to three minutes to the hour.Porters skimmed to and fro like *ater'beetles.

3% can1t e-lain,3 said Jimmy. 3%t *asn1t tem-orary insanity9 it*as necessity.3

3=ery good, )r. James. % think you had better be taking your seatno*.3



38uite right, % had. %t *ould s-oil the *hole thing if they leftme behind. Bayliss, did you e!er see such eyes7 2uch hair4 (ookafter my father *hile % am a*ay. &on1t let the dukes *orry him.6h, and, Bayliss3''Jimmy dre* his hand from his -ocket''3as one-al to another''3

Bayliss looked at the crackling -iece of -a-er.

3% couldn1t, )r. James, % really couldn1t4 fi!e'-ound note4 %couldn1t43

3/onsense4 Be a s-ort43

3Begging your -ardon, )r. James, % really couldn1t. 0ou cannotafford to thro* a*ay your money like this. 0ou cannot ha!e agreat deal of it, if you *ill ecuse me for saying so.3

3% *on1t do anything of the sort. Grab it4 6h, (ord, the train1sstarting4 Good'bye, Bayliss43

The engine ga!e a final shriek of fare*ell. The train began toslide along the -latform, -ursued to the last by o-timistic boysoffering buns for sale. %t gathered s-eed. Jimmy, leaning out the*indo*, *as ama+ed at a s-ectacle so unusual as -ractically toamount to a modern miracle''the s-ectacled Bayliss running. Thebutler *as not in the -ink of condition, but he *as striding outgallantly. #e reached the door of Jimmy1s com-artment, and raisedhis hand.

3Begging your -ardon, )r. James,3 he -anted, 3for taking theliberty, but % really couldn1t43

#e reached u- and thrust something into Jimmy1s hand, somethingcris- and crackling. Then, his mission -erformed, fell back andstood *a!ing a sno*y handkerchief. The train -lunged into thetunnel.

Jimmy stared at the fi!e'-ound note. #e *as a*are, like nnfarther along the train, of a lum- in his throat. #e -ut the noteslo*ly into his -ocket.

The train mo!ed on.

"#PTE$ =%%

6/ T#E B6T'&E";

$ising *aters and a fine flying scud that *hi--ed stingingly o!erthe side had dri!en most of the -assengers on the <tlantic< to theshelter of their staterooms or to the *arm stuffiness of thelibrary. %t *as the fifth e!ening of the !oyage. 5or fi!e daysand four nights the shi- had been racing through a -lacid oceanon her *ay to 2andy #ook: but in the early hours of thisafternoon the *ind had shifted to the north, bringing hea!y seas.&arkness had begun to fall no*. The sky *as a sullen black. The



Teddy, *ere do*n belo*''he ho-ed, dying. They had the *orld tothemsel!es.

3% lo!e rough *eather,3 said nn, lifting her face to the *ind.#er eyes *ere !ery bright. 2he *as beyond any doubt or uestionthe only girl on earth. 3Poor aunt /esta doesn1t. 2he *as badenough *hen it *as uite calm, but this storm has finished her.%1!e just been do*n belo*, trying to cheer her u-.3

Jimmy thrilled at the -icture. l*ays fascinating, nn seemed tohim at her best in the role of ministering angel. #e longed totell her so, but found no *ords. They reached the end of thedeck, and turned. nn looked u- at him.

3%1!e hardly seen anything of you since *e sailed,3 she said. 2hes-oke almost re-roachfully. 3Tell me all about yourself, )r.Bayliss. Why are you going to merica73

Jimmy had had an im-assioned indictment of the $ollos on histongue, but she had closed the o-ening for it as uickly as she

had made it. %n face of her direct demand for information hecould not hark back to it no*. fter all, *hat did the $ollosmatter7 They had no -art in this little *ind's*e-t *orld: they*ere *here they belonged, in some nether hell on the ". or &.deck, moaning for death.

3To make a fortune, % ho-e,3 he said.

nn *as -leased at this confirmation of her diagnosis. 2he haddeduced this from the e!idence at Paddington 2tation.

3#o* -leased your father *ill be if you do43

The slight com-leity of Jimmy1s affairs caused him to -ause fora moment to sort out his fathers, but an instant1s reflectiontold him that she must be referring to Bayliss the butler.

30es.3

3#e1s a dear old man,3 said nn. 3% su--ose he1s !ery -roud ofyou73

3% ho-e so.3

30ou must do tremendously *ell in merica, so as not todisa--oint him. What are you thinking of doing73

Jimmy considered for a moment.

3/e*s-a-er *ork, % think.3

36h7 Why, ha!e you had any e-erience73

3 little.3

nn seemed to gro* a little aloof, as if her enthusiasm had been



dam-ed.

36h, *ell, % su--ose it1s a good enough -rofession. %1m not !eryfond of it myself. %1!e only met one ne*s-a-er man in my life,and % dislike him !ery much, so % su--ose that has -rejudicedme.3

3Who *as that73

30ou *ouldn1t ha!e met him. #e *as on an merican -a-er. mannamed "rocker.3

sudden gust of *ind dro!e them back a ste-, rendering talkim-ossible. %t co!ered a ga- *hen Jimmy could not ha!e s-oken.The shock of the information that nn had met him before made himdumb. This thing *as beyond him. %t baffled him.

#er net *ords su--lied a solution. They *ere under shelter ofone of the boats no* and she could make herself heard.

3%t *as fi!e years ago, and % only met him for a !ery short*hile, but the -rejudice has lasted.3

Jimmy began to understand. 5i!e years ago4 %t *as not so strange,then, that they should not recognise each other no*. #e stirredu- his memory. /othing came to the surface. /ot a gleam ofrecollection of that early meeting re*arded him. nd yetsomething of im-ortance must ha!e ha--ened then, for her toremember it. 2urely his mere -ersonality could not ha!e been soun-leasant as to ha!e made such a lasting im-ression on her4

3% *ish you could do something better than ne*s-a-er *ork,3 saidnn. 3% al*ays think the s-lendid -art about merica is that itis such a land of ad!enture. There are such millions of chances.%t1s a -lace *here anything may ha--en. #a!en1t you anad!enturous soul, )r. Bayliss73

/o man lightly submits to a charge, e!en a hinted charge, ofbeing deficient in the ca-acity for ad!enture.

36f course % ha!e,3 said Jimmy indignantly. 3%1m game to tackleanything that comes along.3

3%1m glad of that.3

#er feeling of comradeshi- to*ards this young man dee-ened. 2helo!ed ad!enture and based her estimate of any member of the

o--osite se largely on his ca-acity for it. 2he mo!ed in a set,*hen at home, *hich *as more -olite than ad!enturous, and hadfreuently found the atmos-here ener!ating.

3d!enture,3 said Jimmy, 3is e!erything.3

#e -aused. 36r a good deal,3 he concluded *eakly.

3Why ualify it like that7 %t sounds so tame. d!enture is thebiggest thing in life.3



%t seemed to Jimmy that he had recei!ed an ecuse for a remark ofa kind that had been *aiting for utterance e!er since he had mether. 6ften and often in the *atches of the night, smoking endless-i-es and thinking of her, he had conjured u- just such a !isionas this''they t*o *alking the deserted deck alone, and sheinnocently gi!ing him an o-ening for some lo*'!oiced, tenders-eech, at *hich she *ould start, look at him uickly, and thenask him haltingly if the *ords had any -articular a--lication.nd after that''oh, *ell, all sorts of things might ha--en. ndno* the moment had come. %t *as true that he had al*ays -icturedthe scene as taking -lace by moonlight and at -resent there *as ahalf'gale blo*ing, out of an inky sky9 also on the -resentoccasion anything in the nature of a lo*'!oiced s-eech *asabsolutely out of the uestion o*ing to the u-roar of theelements. 2till, taking these dra*backs into consideration, thechance *as far too good to miss. 2uch an o-ening might ne!erha--en again. #e *aited till the shi- had steadied herself afteran a--arently suicidal di!e into an enormous roller, then,staggering back to her side, s-oke.

3(o!e is the biggest thing in life43 he roared.

3What is73 shrieked nn.

3(o!e43 bello*ed Jimmy.

#e *ished a moment later that he had -ost-oned this statement offaith, for their net ste-s took them into a ha!en of com-arati!ecalm, *here some dimly seen -ortion of the !essel1s anatomyjutted out and formed a kind of nook *here it *as -ossible tohear the ordinary tones of the human !oice. #e halted here, andnn did the same, though un*illingly. 2he *as conscious of afeeling of disa--ointment and of a modification of her mood ofcomradeshi- to*ards her com-anion. 2he held strong !ie*s, *hichshe belie!ed to be unalterable, on the subject under discussion.

3(o!e43 she said. %t *as too dark to see her face, but her !oicesounded un-leasantly scornful. 3% shouldn1t ha!e thought that you*ould ha!e been so con!entional as that. 0ou seemed different.3

3Eh73 said Jimmy blankly.

3% hate all this talk about (o!e, as if it *ere something*onderful that *as *orth e!erything else in life -ut together.E!ery book you read and e!ery song that you see in thesho-'*indo*s is all about (o!e. %t1s as if the *hole *orld *ere

in a cons-iracy to -ersuade themsel!es that there1s a *onderfulsomething just round the corner *hich they can get if they tryhard enough. nd they hy-notise themsel!es into thinking ofnothing else and miss all the s-lendid things of life.3

3That1s 2ha*, isn1t it73 said Jimmy.

3What is 2ha*73

3What you *ere saying. %t1s out of one of Bernard 2ha*1s things,



isn1t it73

3%t is not.3 note of acidity had cre-t into nn1s !oice. 3%t is-erfectly original.3

3%1m certain %1!e heard it before some*here.3

3%f you ha!e, that sim-ly means that you must ha!e associated*ith some sensible -erson.3

Jimmy *as -u++led.

3But *hy the grouch73 he asked.

3% don1t understand you.3

3% mean, *hy do you feel that *ay about it73

nn *as uite certain no* that she did not like this young mannearly as *ell as she had su--osed. %t is trying for a

strong'minded, clear'thinking girl to ha!e her -hiloso-hydescribed as a grouch.

3Because %1!e had the courage to think about it for myself, andnot let myself be blinded by -o-ular su-erstition. The *hole*orld has united in making itself imagine that there is somethingcalled lo!e *hich is the most *onderful ha--ening in life. The-oets and no!elists ha!e sim-ly hounded them on to belie!e it.%t1s a gigantic s*indle.3

*a!e of tender com-assion s*e-t o!er Jimmy. #e understood itall no*. /aturally a girl *ho had associated all her life *iththe $ollos, "larences, &*ights, and T*ombleys *ould come todes-air of the -ossibility of falling in lo!e *ith any one.

30ou ha!en1t met the right man,3 he said. 2he had, of course, butonly recently: and, any*ay, he could -oint that out later.

3There is no such thing as the right man,3 said nn resolutely,3if you are suggesting that there is a ty-e of man in eistence*ho is ca-able of ins-iring *hat is called romantic lo!e. %belie!e in marriage. . . .3

3Good *ork43 said Jimmy, *ell satisfied.

3 . . . But not as the result of a sort of delirium. % belie!e init as a sensible -artnershi- bet*een t*o friends *ho kno* each

other *ell and trust each other. The right *ay of looking atmarriage is to realise, first of all, that there are no thrills,no romances, and then to -ick out some one *ho is nice and kindand amusing and full of life and *illing to do things to make youha--y.3

3h43 said Jimmy, straightening his tie, 3Well, that1ssomething.3

3#o* do you mean''that1s something7 re you shocked at my !ie*s73



3% don1t belie!e they are your !ie*s. 0ou1!e been reading one ofthese stern, soured fello*s *ho analyse things.3

nn stam-ed. The sound *as inaudible, but Jimmy noticed themo!ement.

3"old73 he said. 3(et1s *alk on.3

nn1s sense of humour reasserted itself. %t *as not often that itremained dormant for so long. 2he laughed.

3% kno* eactly *hat you are thinking,3 she said. 30ou belie!ethat % am -osing, that those aren1t my real o-inions.3

3They can1t be. But % don1t think you are -osing. %t1s getting onfor dinner'time, and you1!e got that *an, sinking feeling thatmakes you look u-on the *orld and find it a hollo* fraud. Thebugle *ill be blo*ing in a fe* minutes, and half an hour afterthat you *ill be yourself again.3

3%1m myself no*. % su--ose you can1t realise that a -retty girlcan hold such !ie*s.3

Jimmy took her arm.

3(et me hel- you,3 he said. 3There1s a knothole in the deck.Watch your ste-. /o*, listen to me. %1m glad you1!e brought u-this subject''% mean the subject of your being the -rettiest girlin the kno*n *orld''3

3% ne!er said that.3

30our modesty -re!ented you. But it1s a fact, ne!ertheless. %1mglad, % say, because % ha!e been thinking a lot along those linesmyself, and % ha!e been anious to discuss the -oint *ith you.0ou ha!e the most glorious hair % ha!e e!er seen43

3&o you like red hair73

3$ed'gold.3

3%t is nice of you to -ut it like that. When % *as a child allece-t a fe* of the other children called me "arrots.3

3They ha!e undoubtedly come to a bad end by this time. %f bears

*ere sent to attend to the children *ho criticised Elijah, yourlittle friends *ere in line for a trou-e of tigers. But there*ere some of a finer fibre7 There *ere a fe* *ho didn1t call you"arrots73

36ne or t*o. They called me Brick'To-.3

3They ha!e -robably been electrocuted since. 0our eyes are-erfectly *onderful43



nn *ithdre* her arm. n etensi!e acuaintance of young men toldher that the to-ic of con!ersation *as no* due to be changed.

30ou *ill like merica,3 she said.

3We are not discussing merica.3

3% am. %t is a *onderful country for a man *ho *ants to succeed.%f % *ere you, % should go out West.3

3&o you li!e out West73

3/o.3

3Then *hy suggest my going there7 Where do you li!e73

3% li!e in /e* 0ork.3

3% shall stay in /e* 0ork, then.3

nn *as *ary, but amused. Pro-osals of marriage''and Jimmy seemedto be mo!ing s*iftly to*ards one''*ere no no!elty in her life. %nthe course of se!eral seasons at Bar #arbor, Tuedo, Palm Beach,and in /e* 0ork itself, she had s-ent much of her time foilingand discouraging the ardour of a series of sentimental youths *hohad laid their un*elcome hearts at her feet.

3/e* 0ork is o-en for staying in about this time, % belie!e.3

Jimmy *as silent. #e had done his best to fight a tendency tobecome de-ressed and had stri!en by means of a light tone to kee-himself resolutely cheerful, but the girl1s a--arently totalindifference to him *as too much for his s-irits. 6ne of theyoung men *ho had had to -ick u- the heart he had flung at nn1s

feet and carry it a*ay for re-airs had once confided to anintimate friend, after the sting had to some etent -assed, thatthe feelings of a man *ho made lo!e to nn might be likened tothe emotions *hich hot chocolate might be su--osed to entertainon contact *ith !anilla ice'cream. Jimmy, had the com-arison been-resented to him, *ould ha!e endorsed its -erfect accuracy. The*ind from the sea, until no* keen and bracing, had become merelyinfernally cold. The song of the *ind in the rigging, erst*hilemelodious, had turned into a damned de-ressing ho*ling.

3% used to be as sentimental as any one a fe* years ago,3 saidnn, returning to the dro--ed subject. 3Just after % left

college, % *as uite maudlin. % dreamed of moons and Junes andlo!es and do!es all the time. Then something ha--ened *hich mademe see *hat a little fool % *as. %t *asn1t -leasant at the time,but it had a !ery bracing effect. % ha!e been uite differente!er since. %t *as a man, of course, *ho did it. #is method *as

uite sim-le. #e just made fun of me, and /ature did the rest.3

Jimmy sco*led in the darkness. )urderous thoughts to*ards theunkno*n brute flooded his mind.



3% *ish % could meet him43 he gro*led.

30ou aren1t likely to,3 said nn. 3#e li!es in England. #is nameis "rocker. Jimmy "rocker. % s-oke about him just no*.3

Through the ho*ling of the *ind cut the shar- notes of a bugle.nn turned to the saloon entrance.

3&inner43 she said brightly. 3#o* hungry one gets on board shi-432he sto--ed. 3ren1t you coming do*n, )r. Bayliss73

3/ot just yet,3 said Jimmy thickly.

"#PTE$ =%%%

P%/5( 2"E/E %/ "5E

The noonday sun beat do*n on Park $o*. #urrying mortals, releasedfrom a thousand offices, congested the side*alks, their thoughtsbusy *ith the !ision of lunch. - and do*n the canyon of /assau2treet the cro*ds mo!ed more slo*ly. "andy'selling aliens jostledne*sboys, and huge dray'horses endea!oured to the best of theirability not to grind the citi+enry beneath their hoo!es.East*ard, -ressing on to the "ity #all, surged the usual densearmy of ha--y lo!ers on their *ay to buy marriage'licenses. )en-o--ed in and out of the sub*ay entrances like rabbits. %t *as astirring, bustling scene, ty-ical of this ner!e'centre of /e*0ork1s !ast body.

Jimmy "rocker, standing in the door*ay, *atched the throngsen!iously. There *ere men in that cro*d *ho che*ed gum, there*ere men *ho *ore *hite satin ties *ith imitation diamondstick'-ins, there *ere men *ho, ha!ing smoked se!en'tenths of acigar, *ere eating the remainder: but there *as not one *ith *homhe *ould not at that moment *illingly ha!e echanged identities.5or these men had jobs. nd in his -resent frame of mind itseemed to him that no further ingredient *as needed for thereci-e of the ultimate human bliss.

The -oet has said some !ery searching and un-leasant things aboutthe man 3*hose heart has ne1er *ithin him burned as home hisfootste-s he has turned from *andering on some foreign strand,3but he might ha!e ecused Jimmy for feeling just then not so mucha *armth of heart as a cold and clammy sensation of dismay. #e

*ould ha!e had to admit that the *ords 3#igh though his titles,-roud his name, boundless his *ealth as *ish can claim3 did nota--ly to Jimmy "rocker. The latter may ha!e been 3concentred allon self,3 but his *ealth consisted of one hundred andthirty'three dollars and forty cents and his name *as so far frombeing -roud that the mere sight of it in the files of the /e*0ork <2unday "hronicle<, the record'room of *hich he had just been!isiting, had made him consider the fact that he had changed itto Bayliss the most sensible act of his career.



The reason for Jimmy1s lack of enthusiasm as he sur!eyed the-ortion of his nati!e land !isible from his door*ay is not far toseek. The <tlantic< had docked on 2aturday night, and Jimmy,ha!ing dri!en to an ecellent hotel and engaged an e-ensi!e roomtherein, had left instructions at the desk that breakfast shouldbe ser!ed to him at ten o1clock and *ith it the 2unday issue ofthe <"hronicle<. 5i!e years had -assed since he had seen the dearold rag for *hich he had re-orted so many fires, murders,street'accidents, and *eddings: and he looked for*ard to its-erusal as a formal taking <seisin< of his long'neglected country./othing could be more fitting and symbolic than that the firstmorning of his return to merica should find him -ro--ed u- inbed reading the good old <"hronicle<. mong his final meditationsas he dro--ed off to slee- *as a gentle s-eculation as to *ho *as"ity editor no* and *hether the comic su--lement *as stillfeaturing the s-rightly ad!entures of the &oughnut family.

*a!e of not unmanly sentiment -assed o!er him on the follo*ingmorning as he reached out for the -a-er. The sky'line of /e*0ork, seen as the boat comes u- the bay, has its -oints, and the

rattle of the Ele!ated trains and the uaint odour of the 2ub*ayetend a kindly *elcome, but the thing that really con!inces thereturned tra!eller that he is back on )anhattan %sland is thefirst 2unday -a-er. Jimmy, like e!ery one else, began by o-eningthe comic su--lement: and as he scanned it a chilly discomfort,almost a -remonition of e!il, came u-on him. The &oughnut 5amily*as no more. #e kne* that it *as unreasonable of him to feel asif he had just been informed of the death of a dear friend, forPa &oughnut and his associates had been ha!ing their ad!enturesfi!e years before he had left the country, and e!en the toughestcomic su--lementary hero rarely endures for a decade: butne!ertheless the shado* did fall u-on his morning o-timism, andhe deri!ed no -leasure *hate!er from the artificial rollickingsof a degraded creature called 6ld Po- &ill'Pickle *ho *as offeredas a substitute.

But this, he *as to disco!er almost immediately, *as a triflingdisaster. %t distressed him, but it did not affect his material*elfare. Tragedy really began *hen he turned to the maga+inesection. 2carcely had he started to glance at it *hen thisheadline struck him like a bullet:

P%""&%((0 J%) T %T G%/

nd beneath it his o*n name.

/othing is so ca-able of di!ersity as the emotion *e feel on

seeing our name une-ectedly in -rint. We may soar to the heightsor *e may sink to the de-ths. Jimmy did the latter. merecursory first ins-ection of the article re!ealed the fact that it*as no eulogy. With an uns-aring hand the *riter had muck'rakedhis e!entful -ast, the tet on *hich he hung his remarks beingthat ill'fated encounter *ith (ord Percy Whi--le at the 2i#undred "lub. This the scribe had recounted at a length and *itha boisterous !im *hich outdid e!en Bill Blake1s effort in the(ondon <&aily 2un<. Bill Blake had been handica--ed byconsideration of s-ace and the fact that he had turned in his



co-y at an ad!anced hour *hen the -a-er *as almost made u-. The-resent *riter *as shackled by no restrictions. #e had -lenty ofroom to s-read himself in, and he had s-read himself. 2o liberalhad been the editor1s !ie*s in the res-ect that, in addition tothe letter'-ress, the -ages contained an uns-eakably offensi!e-icture of a burly young man in an ob!iously ad!anced conditionof alcoholism raising his fist to strike a monocled youth ine!ening dress *ho had so little chin that Jimmy *as sur-risedthat he had e!er been able to hit it. The only gleam ofconsolation that he could disco!er in this re-ellent dra*ing *asthe fact that the artist had treated (ord Percy e!en morescur!ily than himself. mong other things, the second son of the&uke of &e!i+es *as de-icted as *earing a coronet''a thing *hich*ould ha!e ecited remark e!en in a (ondon night'club.

Jimmy read the thing through in its entirety three times beforehe a--reciated a <nuance< *hich his disordered mind had at firstfailed to gras-''to *it, that this character'sketch of himself*as no mere isolated outburst but a--arently one of a series. %nse!eral -laces the *riter alluded unmistakeably to other theses

on the same subject.

Jimmy1s breakfast congealed on its tray, untouched. That boon*hich the gods so seldom besto*, of seeing oursel!es as otherssee us, had been accorded to him in full measure. By the time hehad com-leted his third reading he *as regarding himself in a-urely objecti!e fashion not unlike the attitude of a naturalistto*ards some strange and loathesome manifestation of insect life.2o this *as the sort of fello* he *as4 #e *ondered they had lethim in at a re-utable hotel.

The rest of the day he -assed in a state of such humility that hecould ha!e *e-t *hen the *aiters *ere ci!il to him. 6n the )ondaymorning he made his *ay to Park $o* to read the files of the<"hronicle<''a morbid enter-rise, akin to the eccentric beha!iourof those -riests of Baal *ho gashed themsel!es *ith kni!es or ofauthors *ho subscribe to -ress'cli--ing agencies.

#e came u-on another of the articles almost at once, in an issuenot a month old. Then there *as a ga- of se!eral *eeks, and ho-ere!i!ed that things might not be as bad as he had feared''only tobe crushed by another trenchant screed. fter that he set abouthis eca!ations methodically, resol!ed to kno* the *orst. #ekne* it in just under t*o hours. There it all *as''his ro* *iththe bookie, his bad beha!iour at the -olitical meeting, hisbreach'of'-romise case. %t *as a com-lete biogra-hy.

nd the name they called him. Piccadilly Jim4 gh4

#e *ent out into Park $o*, and sought a uiet door*ay *here hecould brood u-on these matters.

%t *as not immediately that the -ractical or financial as-ect ofthe affair came to scourge him. 5or an a--reciable time hesuffered in his self'esteem alone. %t seemed to him that allthese bustling -ersons *ho -assed kne* him, that they *erecasting sidelong glances at him and laughing derisi!ely, that



those *ho che*ed gum che*ed it sneeringly and that those *ho atetheir cigars ate them *ith thinly'!eiled disa--ro!al and scorn.Then, the -assage of time blunting sensiti!eness, he found thatthere *ere other and *eightier things to consider.

s far as he had had any connected -lan of action in his suddencasting'off of the flesh'-ots of (ondon, he had determined assoon as -ossible after landing to re-ort at the office of his old-a-er and a--ly for his ancient -osition. 2o little thought hadhe gi!en to the minutiae of his future -lans that it had notoccurred to him that he had anything to do but *alk in, sla- thegang on the back, and announce that he *as ready to *ork. Work4''on the staff of a -a-er *hose chief di!ersion a--eared to be thesatirising of his esca-ades4 E!en had he -ossessed the moralcourage''or gall''to make the a--lication, *hat good *ould it be7#e *as a by'*ord in a *orld *here he had once been a *orthyciti+en. What -a-er *ould trust Piccadilly Jim *ith anassignment7 What -a-er *ould consider Piccadilly Jim e!en ons-ace rates7 chill dismay cre-t o!er him. #e seemed to hear thegra!e !oice of Bayliss the butler s-eaking in his car as he had

s-oken so short a *hile before at Paddington 2tation.

3%s it not a little rash, )r. James73

$ash *as the *ord. #ere he stood, in a country that had no-ossible use for him, a country *here com-etition *as keen andjobs for the unskilled infreuent. What on earth *as there thathe could do7

Well, he could go home. . . . /o, he couldn1t. #is -ride re!oltedat that solution. Prodigal 2on stuff *as all !ery *ell in its*ay, but it lost its im-ressi!eness if you turned u- again athome t*o *eeks after you had left. decent inter!al among thehusks and s*ine *as essential. Besides, there *as his father toconsider. #e might be a -oor s-ecimen of a fello*, as *itness the<2unday "hronicle< <-assim<, but he *as not so -oor as to comeslinking back to u-set things for his father just *hen he haddone the only decent thing by remo!ing himself. /o, that *as outof the uestion.

What remained7 The air of /e* 0ork is bracing and healthy, but aman cannot li!e on it. 6b!iously he must find a job. But *hatjob7

What could he do7

gna*ing sensation in the region of the *aistcoat ans*ered the

uestion. The solution''*hich it -ut for*ard *as, it *as true,but a tem-orary one, yet it a--ealed strongly to Jimmy. #e hadfound it admirable at many crises. #e *ould go and lunch, and itmight be that food *ould bring ins-iration.

#e mo!ed from his door*ay and crossed to the entrance of thesub*ay. #e caught a timely e-ress, and a fe* minutes lateremerged into the sunlight again at Grand "entral. #e made his *ay*est*ard along 5orty'second 2treet to the hotel *hich he thought*ould meet his needs. #e had scarcely entered it *hen in a chair



by the door he -ercei!ed nn "hester, and at the sight of her allhis de-ression !anished and he *as himself again.

3Why, ho* do you do, )r. Bayliss7 re you lunching here73

3nless there is some other -lace that you *ould -refer,3 saidJimmy. 3% ho-e % ha!en1t ke-t you *aiting.3

nn laughed. 2he *as looking !ery delightful in something softand green.

3%1m not going to lunch *ith you. %1m *aiting for )r. $alstoneand his sister. &o you remember him7 #e crossed o!er *ith us. #ischair *as net to mine on the -romenade deck.3

Jimmy *as shocked. When he thought ho* narro*ly she had esca-ed,-oor girl, from lunching *ith that insufferable -ill Teddy''or*as it Edgar7''he felt uite *eak. $eco!ering himself, he s-okefirmly.

3When *ere they to ha!e met you73

3t one o1clock.3

3%t is no* fi!e -ast. 0ou are certainly not going to *ait anylonger. "ome *ith me, and *e *ill *histle for cabs.3

3&on1t be absurd43

3"ome along. % *ant to talk to you about my future.3

3% shall certainly do nothing of the kind,3 said nn, rising. 2he*ent *ith him to the door. 3Teddy *ould ne!er forgi!e me.3 2hegot into the cab. 3%t1s only because you ha!e a--ealed to me tohel- you discuss your future,3 she said, as they dro!e off.3/othing else *ould ha!e induced me . . .3

3% kno*,3 said Jimmy. 3% felt that % could rely on your *omanlysym-athy. Where shall *e go73

3Where do you *ant to go7 6h, % forget that you ha!e ne!er beenin /e* 0ork before. By the *ay, *hat are your im-ressions of ourglorious country73

3)ost gratifying, if only % could get a job.3

3Tell him to dri!e to &elmonico1s. %t1s just around the corner on

5orty'fourth 2treet.3

3There are some things round the corner, then73

3That sounds cry-tic. What do you mean.3

30ou1!e forgotten our con!ersation that night on the shi-. 0ourefused to admit the eistence of *onderful things just round thecorner. 0ou said some !ery regrettable things that night. boutlo!e, if you remember.3



30ou can1t be going to talk about lo!e at one o1clock in theafternoon4 Talk about your future.3

3(o!e is inetricably mied u- *ith my future.3

3/ot *ith your immediate future. % thought you said that you *eretrying to get a job. #a!e you gi!en u- the idea of ne*s-a-er*ork, then73

3bsolutely.3

3Well, %1m rather glad.3

The cab dre* u- at the restaurant door, and the con!ersation *asinterru-ted. When they *ere seated at their table and Jimmy hadgi!en an order to the *aiter of absolutely inecusableetra!agance, nn returned to the to-ic.

3Well, no* the thing is to find something for you to do.3

Jimmy looked round the restaurant *ith a--reciati!e eyes. Thesummer eodus from /e* 0ork *as still se!eral *eeks distant, andthe -lace *as full of -ros-erous'looking lunchers, not one of*hom a--eared to ha!e a care or an un-aid bill in the *orld. Theatmos-here *as redolent of substantial bank'balances. 2ol!encyshone from the closely sha!en faces of the men and reflecteditself in the dresses of the *omen. Jimmy sighed.

3% su--ose so,3 he said. 3Though for choice %1d like to be one ofthe %dle $ich. To my mind the ideal -rofession is strolling intothe office and touching the old dad for another thousand.3

nn *as se!ere.

30ou re!olt me43 she said. 3% ne!er heard anything so thoroughlydisgraceful. 0ou <need< *ork43

36ne of these days,3 said Jimmy -lainti!ely, 3% shall be sittingby the roadside *ith my dinner'-ail, and you *ill come by in yourlimousine, and % shall look u- at you and say 1<0ou< hounded meinto this41 #o* *ill you feel then73

3=ery -roud of myself.3

3%n that case, there is no more to be said. %1d much rather hang

about and try to get ado-ted by a millionaire, but if you insiston my *orking''Waiter43

3What do you *ant73 asked nn.

3Will you get me a "lassified Tele-hone &irectory,3 said Jimmy.

3What for73 asked nn.

3To look for a -rofession. There is nothing like being



methodical.3

The *aiter returned, bearing a red book. Jimmy thanked him ando-ened it at the 1s.

3The boy, *hat *ill he become73 he said. #e turned the -ages.3#o* about an uditor7 What do you think of that73

3&o you think you could audit73

3That % could not say till % had tried. % might turn out to be!ery good at it. #o* about an djuster73

3n adjuster of *hat73

3The book doesn1t say. %t just remarks broadly''in a sort ofs-acious *ay''1djuster.1 % take it that, ha!ing decided tobecome an adjuster, you then sit do*n and decide *hat you *ish toadjust. 6ne might, for eam-le, become an s-aragus djuster.3

3 *hat73

32urely you kno*7 s-aragus djusters are the fello*s *ho sellthose ro-e'and'-ulley affairs by means of *hich the 2mart 2etlo*er as-aragus into their mouths''or rather 5rancis the footmandoes it for them, of course. The diner leans back in his chair,and the menial *orks the a--aratus in the background. %t isentirely su-erseding the old'fashioned method of -icking the!egetable u- and taking a sna- at it. But % sus-ect that to be asuccessful s-aragus djuster reuires ca-ital. We no* come to*ning "rank and 2-ring $ollers. % don1t think % should likethat. $olling a*ning cranks seems to me a sorry *ay of s-endinglife1s s-ringtime. (et1s try the B1s.3

3(et1s try this omelette. %t looks delicious.3 Jimmy shook hishead.

3% *ill toy *ith it''but absently and in a <distrait< manner, asbecomes a man of affairs. There1s nothing in the B1s. % mightde!ote my ardent youth to Bar'$oom Glass*are and Bottlers12u--lies. 6n the other hand, % might not. 2imilarly, *hile thereis no doubt a bright future for somebody in "elluloid, 5iberloid,and 6ther 5actitious Goods, instinct tells me that there is nonefor''3 he -ulled u- on the !erge of saying, 3James Braith*aite"rocker,3 and shuddered at the nearness of the -itfall.3''for''3 he hesitated again''3for lgernon Bayliss,3 heconcluded.

nn smiled delightedly. %t *as so ty-ical that his father shouldha!e called him something like that. Time had not dimmed herregard for the old man she had seen for that brief moment atPaddington 2tation. #e *as an old dear, and she thoroughlya--ro!ed of this latest manifestation of his su--osed -ride inhis offs-ring.

3%s that really your name''lgernon73



3% cannot deny it.3

3% think your father is a darling,3 said nn inconseuently.

Jimmy had buried himself in the directory again.

3The &1s,3 he said. 3%s it -ossible that -osterity *ill kno* meas Bayliss the &ermatologist7 6r as Bayliss the &ro- 5orger7 %don1t uite like that last one. %t may be a res-ectableoccu-ation, but it sounds rather criminal to me. The sentence forforging dro-s is -robably about t*enty years *ith hard labour.3

3% *ish you *ould -ut that book a*ay and go on *ith your lunch,3said nn.

3Perha-s,3 said Jimmy, 3my grandchildren *ill cluster round myknee some day and say in their -i-ing, childish !oices, 1Tell usho* you became the Elastic 2tocking ;ing, grand-a41 What do youthink73

3% think you ought to be ashamed of yourself. 0ou are *astingyour time, *hen you ought to be either talking to me or elsethinking !ery seriously about *hat you mean to do.3

Jimmy *as turning the -ages ra-idly.

3% *ill be *ith you in a moment,3 he said. 3Try to amuse yourselfsomeho* till % am at leisure. sk yourself a riddle. Tellyourself an anecdote. Think of life. /o, it1s no good. % don1tsee myself as a 5an %m-orter, a Glass Be!eller, a #otel Broker,an %nsect Eterminator, a Junk &ealer, a ;alsomine )anufacturer,a (aundryman, a )ausoleum rchitect, a /urse, an 6culist, aPa-er'#anger, a 8uilt &esigner, a $oofer, a 2hi- Plumber, aTinsmith, an ndertaker, a =eterinarian, a Wig )aker, an >'raya--aratus manufacturer, a 0east -roducer, or a Iinc 2-elter.3 #eclosed the book. 3There is only one thing to do. % must star!e inthe gutter. Tell me''you kno* /e* 0ork better than % do''*here isthere a good gutter73

t this moment there entered the restaurant an %mmaculate Person.#e *as a young man attired in faultlessly fitting clothes, *ithshoes of fla*less -olish and a -erfectly -ro-ortioned flo*eret inhis buttonhole. #e sur!eyed the room through a monocle. #e *as a-leasure to look u-on, but Jimmy, catching sight of him, started!iolently and felt no joy at all9 for he had recognised him. %t*as a man he kne* *ell and *ho kne* him *ell''a man *hom he hadlast seen a bare t*o *eeks ago at the Bachelors1 "lub in (ondon.

5e* things are certain in this *orld, but one *as that, ifBartling''such *as the =ision1s name''should see him, he *ouldcome o!er and address him as "rocker. #e braced himself to thetask of being Bayliss, the *hole Bayliss, and nothing butBayliss. %t might he that stout denial *ould carry him through.fter all, $eggie Bartling *as a man of notoriously feebleintellect, *ho could belie!e in anything.

The monocle continued its s*ee-. %t rested on Jimmy1s -rofile.



3By Gad43 said the =ision.

$eginald Bartling had landed in /e* 0ork that morning, andalready the loneliness of a strange city had begun to o--resshim. #e had come o!er on a !isit of -leasure, his suit'casestuffed *ith letters of introduction, but these he had not yetused. There *as a feeling of home'sickness u-on him, and he achedfor a -al. nd there before him sat Jimmy "rocker, one of thebest. #e hastened to the table.

3% say, "rocker, old cha-, % didn1t kno* you *ere o!er here. Whendid you arri!e73

Jimmy *as -rofoundly thankful that he had seen this -est in timeto be -re-ared for him. 2uddenly assailed in this fashion, he*ould undoubtedly ha!e incriminated himself by recognition of hisname. But, ha!ing antici-ated the !isitation, he *as able to saya *hole sentence to nn before sho*ing himself a*are that it *ashe *ho *as addressed.

3% say4 Jimmy "rocker43

Jimmy achie!ed one of the blankest stares of modern times. #elooked at nn. Then he looked at Bartling again.

3% think there1s some mistake,3 he said. 3)y name is Bayliss.3

Before his stony eye the immaculate Bartling *ilted. %t *as a-erfectly astounding likeness, but it *as a--arent to him *hen*hat he had e!er heard and read about doubles came to him. #e *asconfused. #e blushed. %t *as deuced bad form going u- to a-erfect stranger like this and -retending you kne* him. Probablythe cha--ie thought he *as some kind of a confidence johnnie orsomething. %t *as absolutely rotten4 #e continued to blush tillone could ha!e fancied him scarlet to the ankles. #e backed a*ay,a-ologising in ragged mutters. Jimmy *as not insensible to the-athos of his suffering acuaintance1s -osition9 he kne* $eggieand his de!otion to good form sufficiently *ell to enable him toa--reciate the other1s horror at ha!ing s-oken to a fello* to*hom he had ne!er been introduced9 but necessity forbade anyother course. #o*e!er $eggie1s soul might *rithe and ho*e!erslee-less $eggie1s nights might become as a result of thisencounter, he *as -re-ared to fight it out on those lines if ittook all summer. nd, any*ay, it *as darned good for $eggie toget a jolt like that e!ery once in a *hile. ;e-t him bright andli!ely.

2o thinking, he turned to nn again, *hile the crimson Bartlingtottered off to restore his ner!e centres to their normal tone atsome other hostelry. #e found nn staring ama+edly at him, eyes*ide and li-s -arted.

36dd, that43 he obser!ed *ith a light carelessness *hich headmired etremely and of *hich he *ould not ha!e belie!ed himselfca-able. 3% su--ose % must be somebody1s double. What *as thename he said73



3Jimmy "rocker43 cried nn.

Jimmy raised his glass, si--ed, and -ut it do*n.

36h yes, % remember. 2o it *as. %t1s a curious thing, too, thatit sounds familiar. %1!e heard the name before some*here.3

3% *as talking about Jimmy "rocker on the shi-. That e!ening ondeck.3

Jimmy looked at her doubtfully.

3Were you7 6h yes, of course. %1!e got it no*. #e is the man youdislike so.3

nn *as still looking at him as if he had undergone a change intosomething ne* and strange.

3% ho-e you aren1t going to let the resemblance -rejudice youagainst <me<73 said Jimmy. 32ome are born Jimmy "rockers, others

ha!e Jimmy "rockers thrust u-on them. % ho-e you1ll bear in mindthat % belong to the latter class.3

3%t1s such an etraordinary thing.3

36h, % don1t kno*. 0ou often hear of doubles. There *as a man inEngland a fe* years ago *ho ke-t getting sent to -rison forthings some genial stranger *ho ha--ened to look like him haddone.3

3% don1t mean that. 6f course there are doubles. But it iscurious that you should ha!e come o!er here and that *e shouldha!e met like this at just this time. 0ou see, the reason % *ento!er to England at all *as to try to get Jimmy "rocker to comeback here.3

3What43

3% don1t mean that <%< did. % mean that % *ent *ith my uncle andaunt, *ho *anted to -ersuade him to come and li!e *ith them.3

Jimmy *as no* feeling com-letely out of his de-th.

30our uncle and aunt7 Why73

3% ought to ha!e e-lained that they are his uncle and aunt, too.)y aunt1s sister married his father.3

3But''3

3%t1s uite sim-le, though it doesn1t sound so. Perha-s youha!en1t read the <2unday "hronicle< lately7 %t has been -ublishingarticles about Jimmy "rocker1s disgusting beha!iour in(ondon''they call him Piccadilly Jim, you kno*''3

%n -rint, that name had shocked Jimmy. 2-oken, and by nn, it *asloathly. $emorse for his -ainful -ast tore at him.



3There *as another one -rinted yesterday.3

3% sa* it,3 said Jimmy, to a!ert descri-tion.

36h, did you7 Well, just to sho* you *hat sort of a man Jimmy"rocker is, the (ord Percy Whi--le *hom he attacked in the club*as his !ery best friend. #is ste-'mother told my aunt so. #eseems to be absolutely ho-eless.3 2he smiled. 30ou1re lookinguite sad, )r. Bayliss. "heer u-4 0ou may look like him, but youaren1t him he7''him7''no, 1he1 is right. The soul is *hat counts.%f you1!e got a good, !irtuous, lgernonish soul, it doesn1tmatter if you1re so like Jimmy "rocker that his friends come u-and talk to you in restaurants. %n fact, it1s rather anad!antage, really. %1m sure that if you *ere to go to my aunt and-retend to be Jimmy "rocker, *ho had come o!er after all in a fitof re-entance, she *ould be so -leased that there *ould benothing she *ouldn1t do for you. 0ou might realise your ambitionof being ado-ted by a millionaire. Why don1t you try it7 % *on1tgi!e you a*ay.3

3Before they found me out and hauled me off to -rison, % shouldha!e been near you for a time. % should ha!e li!ed in the samehouse *ith you, s-oken to you''43 Jimmy1s !oice shook.

nn turned her head to address an imaginary com-anion.

30ou must listen to this, my dear,3 she said in an undertone. 3#es-eaks <*onderfully4< They used to call him the Boy 6rator in hishome'to*n. 2ometimes that, and sometimes Elouent lgernon43

Jimmy eyed her fiedly. #e disa--ro!ed of this fri!olity.

36ne of these days you *ill try me too high''43

36h, you didn1t hear *hat % *as saying to my friend, did you73she said in concern. 3But % meant it, e!ery *ord. % lo!e to hearyou talk. 0ou ha!e such <feeling4<3

Jimmy attuned himself to the key of the con!ersation.

3#a!e you no sentiment in you73 he demanded.

3% *as just *arming u-, too4 %n another minute you *ould ha!eheard something *orth *hile. 0ou1!e dam-ed me no*. (et1s talkabout my life*ork again.3

3#a!e you thought of anything73

3%1d like to be one of those fello*s *ho sit in offices, and signchecks, and tell the office'boy to tell )r. $ockerfeller they cangi!e him fi!e minutes. But of course % should need a check'book,and % ha!en1t got one. 6h *ell, % shall find something to do allright. /o* tell me something about yourself. (et1s dro- thefuture for a*hile.3



H H H H H

n hour later Jimmy turned into Broad*ay. #e *alked -ensi!ely,for he had much to occu-y his mind. #o* strange that the Pettsshould ha!e come o!er to England to try to induce him to returnto /e* 0ork, and ho* galling that, no* that he *as in /e* 0ork,this a!enue to a -ros-erous future *as closed by the fact thatsomething *hich he had done fi!e years ago''that he couldremember nothing about it *as uite maddening''had caused nn tonurse this abiding hatred of him. #e began to dream tenderly ofnn, bum-ing from -edestrian to -edestrian in a gentle trance.

5rom this trance the se!enth -edestrian aroused him by utteringhis name, the name *hich circumstances had com-elled him toabandon.

3Jimmy "rocker43

2ur-rise brought Jimmy back from his dreams to the hard *orld''sur-rise and a certain eas-eration. %t *as ridiculous to beincognito in a city *hich he had not !isited in fi!e years and tobe instantly recognised in this *ay by e!ery second man he met.#e looked sourly at the man. The other *as a sturdy,suare'shouldered, battered young man, *ho *ore on his homelyface a grin of recognition and regard. Jimmy *as not -articularlygood at remembering faces, but this -erson1s *as of a kind *hichthe -oorest memory might ha!e recalled. %t *as, as thead!ertisements say, distincti!ely indi!idual. The broken nose,the eiguous forehead, and the enlarged ears all clamoured forrecognition. The last time Jimmy had seen Jerry )itchell had beent*o years before at the /ational 2-orting "lub in (ondon, and,-lacing him at once, he braced himself, as a short *hile ago hehad braced himself to confound immaculate $eggie.

3#ello43 said the battered one.

3#ello indeed43 said Jimmy courteously. 3%n *hat *ay can %brighten your life73

The grin faded from the other1s face. #e looked -u++led.

30ou1re Jimmy "rocker, ain1t you73

3/o. )y name chances to be lgernon Bayliss.3

Jerry )itchell reddened.

312cuse me. )y mistake.3

#e *as mo!ing off, but Jimmy sto--ed him. Parting from nn hadleft a large gain his life, and he cra!ed human society.

3% kno* you no*,3 he said. 30ou1re Jerry )itchell. % sa* youfight ;id Burke four years ago in (ondon.3



The grin returned to the -ugilist1s face, *ider than e!er. #ebeamed *ith gratification.

3Gee4 Think of that4 %1!e uit since then. %1m *orking for an oldguy named Pett. 5unny thing, he1s Jimmy "rocker1s uncle that %mistook you for. 2ay, you1re a dead ringer for that guy4 % couldha!e s*orn it *as him *hen you bum-ed into me. 2ay, are you doinganything73

3/othing in -articular.3

3"ome and ha!e a yarn. There1s a -lace % kno* just round byhere.3

3&elighted.3

They made their *ay to the -lace.

3What1s yours73 said Jerry )itchell. 3%1m on the *agon myself,3

he said a-ologetically.

32o am %,3 said Jimmy. 3%t1s the only *ay. /o sense in al*aysdrinking and making a disgraceful ehibition of yourself in-ublic43

Jerry )itchell recei!ed this homily in silence. %t dis-oseddefinitely of the lurking doubt in his mind as to the -ossibilityof this man really being Jimmy "rocker. Though out*ardlycon!inced by the other1s denial, he had not been able to ridhimself till no* of a nebulous sus-icion. But this con!inced him.Jimmy "rocker *ould ne!er ha!e said a thing like that nor *ouldha!e refused the offer of alcohol. #e fell into -leasantcon!ersation *ith him. #is mind eased.

"#PTE$ %>

)$2. PETT %2 2#6";E&

t fi!e o1clock in the afternoon some ten days after her returnto merica, )rs. Pett *as at home to her friends in the house on$i!erside &ri!e. The -roceedings *ere on a scale that amounted toa rece-tion, for they *ere not only a sort of officialnotification to /e* 0ork that one of its most -rominent hostesses*as once more in its midst, but *ere also designed to entertain

and im-ress )r. #ammond "hester, nn1s father, *ho had beens-ending a cou-le of days in the metro-olis -re-aratory tode-arting for 2outh merica on one of his freuent tri-s. #e *as!ery fond of nn in his curious, detached *ay, though he ne!erceased in his -ri!ate heart to consider it injudicious of her notto ha!e been born a boy, and he al*ays took in /e* 0ork for a dayor t*o on his *ay from one *ild and lonely s-ot to another, if hecould manage it.

The large dra*ing'room o!erlooking the #udson *as filled almost



to ca-acity *ith that strange miture of humanity *hich )rs. Pettchiefly affected. 2he -rided herself on the Bohemian element inher -arties, and had become during the -ast t*o years a humandrag'net, scoo-ing Genius from its hiding'-lace and bringing itinto the o-en. t different s-ots in the room stood the siresident geniuses to *hose -resence in the home )r. Pett had suchstrong objections, and in addition to these she had collected somany more of a like breed from the en!irons of Washington 2uarethat the air *as clamorous *ith the hoarse cries of futurist-ainters, esoteric Buddhists, <!ers libre< -oets, interiordecorators, and stage reformers, sifted in among the morecon!entional members of society *ho had come to listen to them.

)en *ith ne* religions drank tea *ith *omen *ith ne* hats.-ostles of 5ree (o!e e-ounded their doctrines to -ersons *hohad been -ractising them for years *ithout realising it. ll o!erthe room throats *ere being strained and minds broadened.

)r. "hester, standing near the door *ith nn, eyed the assemblage*ith the genial contem-t of a large dog for a !oluble -ack of

small ones. #e *as a massi!e, *eather'beaten man, *ho looked !erylike nn in some *ays and *ould ha!e looked more like her but forthe misfortune of ha!ing had some of his face cla*ed a*ay by anirritable jaguar *ith *hom he had had a difference some yearsback in the jungles of Peru.

3&o you like this sort of thing73 he asked.

3% don1t mind it,3 said nn.

3Well, % shall be !ery sorry to lea!e you, nn, but %1m glad %1m-ulling out of here this e!ening. Who are all these -eo-le73

nn sur!eyed the gathering.

3That1s Ernest Wisden, the -lay*right, o!er there, talking to(ora &elane Porter, the feminist *riter. That1s "laraWhat1s'her'name, the scul-tor, *ith the bobbed hair. /et toher''3

)r. "hester cut short the catalogue *ith a stifled ya*n.

3Where1s old Pete7 &oesn1t he come to these jamborees73

nn laughed.

3Poor uncle Peter4 %f he gets back from the office before these

-eo-le lea!e, he *ill sneak u- to his room and stay there tillit1s safe to come out. The last time % made him come to one ofthese -arties he *as -ounced on by a *oman *ho talked to him foran hour about the morality of 5inance and seemed to think thatmillionaires *ere the scum of the earth.3

3#e ne!er *ould stand u- for himself.3 )r. "hester1s ga+e ho!eredabout the room, and -aused. 3Who1s that fello*7 % belie!e %1!eseen him before some*here.3



constant eddying s*irl *as animating the multitude. Whene!erthe mass tended to congeal, something al*ays seemed to stir it u-again. This *as due to the restless acti!ity of )rs. Pett, *hoheld it to be the duty of a good hostess to kee- her guestsmo!ing. 5rom the moment *hen the room began to fill till themoment *hen it began to em-ty she did not cease to -lough her *ayto and fro, in a manner eually reminiscent of a ha*k s*oo-ing onchickens and an earnest collegian bucking the line. #er guests*ere as a result -er-etually forming ne* ententes andcombinations, finding themsel!es bum-ed about like those littlemo!ing figures *hich one sees in sho-'*indo*s on Broad*ay, *hichre!ol!e on a metal disc until, urged by im-act *ith anotherlittle figure, they scatter to regrou- themsel!es else*here. %t*as a fascinating feature of )rs. Pett1s at'homes and one *hichassisted that mental broadening -rocess already alluded to thatone ne!er kne*, *hen listening to a discussion on the sincerityof 6scar Wilde, *hether it *ould not suddenly change in themiddle of a sentence to an argument on the inner meaning of the$ussian Ballet.

Plunging no* into a grou- dominated for the moment by an angular*oman *ho *as saying loud and -enetrating things about thesuffrage, )rs. Pett had sei+ed and remo!ed a tall, blonde youngman *ith a mild, !acuous face. 5or the -ast fe* minutes thisyoung man had been sitting bolt u-right on a chair *ith his handson his knees, so eactly in the manner of an end'man at aminstrel sho* that one *ould hardly ha!e been sur-rised had heburst into song or asked a conundrum.

nn follo*ed her father1s ga+e.

3&o you mean the man talking to aunt /esta7 There, they1!e goneo!er to s-eak to Willie Partridge. &o you mean that one73

30es. Who is he73

3Well, % like that43 said nn. 3"onsidering that you introducedhim to us4 That1s (ord Wisbeach, *ho came to uncle Peter *ith aletter of introduction from you. 0ou met him in "anada.3

3% remember no*. % ran across him in British "olumbia. We cam-edtogether one night. %1d ne!er seen him before and % didn1t seehim again. #e said he *anted a letter to old Pete for somereason, so % scribbled him one in -encil on the back of anen!elo-e. %1!e ne!er met any one *ho -layed a better game of dra*-oker. #e cleaned me out. There1s a lot in that fello*, in s-ite

of his looking like a musical comedy dude. #e1s cle!er.3

nn looked at him meditati!ely.

3%t1s odd that you should be disco!ering hidden !irtues in (ordWisbeach, father. %1!e been trying to make u- my mind about him.#e *ants me to marry him.3

3#e does4 % su--ose a good many of these young fello*s here *antthe same thing, don1t they, nn73 )r. "hester looked at his



daughter *ith interest. #er gro*ing'u- and becoming a beauty hadal*ays been a -er-leity to him. #e could ne!er rid himself ofthe im-ression of her as a long'legged child in short skirts. 3%su--ose you1re refusing them all the time73

3E!ery day from ten to four, *ith an hour off for lunch. % kee-regular office hours. dmission on -resentation of !isitingcard.3

3nd ho* do you feel about this (ord Wisbeach73

3% don1t kno*,3 said nn frankly. 3#e1s !ery nice. nd''*hat ismore im-ortant''he1s different. )ost of the men % kno* are all

turned out of the same mould. (ord Wisbeach''and one otherman''are the only t*o %1!e met *ho might not be the brothers ofall the rest.3

3Who1s the other73

3 man % hardly kno*. % met him on board shi-''3

)r. "hester looked at his *atch.

3%t1s u- to you, nn,3 he said. 3There1s one comfort in beingyour father''% don1t mean that eactly9 % mean that it is acomfort to me 2 your father''to kno* that % need feel no-aternal aniety about you. % don1t ha!e to gi!e you ad!ice.0ou1!e not only got three times the sense that % ha!e, but you1renot the sort of girl *ho *ould take ad!ice. 0ou1!e al*ays kno*njust *hat you *anted e!er since you *ere a kid. . . . Well, ifyou1re going to take me do*n to the boat, *e1d better bestarting. Where1s the car73

3Waiting outside. ren1t you going to say good'bye to aunt/esta73

3Good God, no43 eclaimed )r. "hester in honest concern. 3What4Plunge into that -ack of coyotes and fight my *ay through to her4%1d be torn to -ieces by *ild -oets. Besides, it seems silly tomake a fuss saying good'bye *hen %1m only going to be a*ay ashort time. % shan1t go any further than "olombia this tri-.3

30ou1ll be able to run back for *eek'ends,3 said nn.

2he -aused at the door to cast a fleeting glance o!er hershoulder at the fair'haired (ord Wisbeach, *ho *as no* in

animated con!ersation *ith her aunt and Willie Partridge9 thenshe follo*ed her father do*n the stairs. 2he *as a littlethoughtful as she took her -lace at the *heel of her automobile.%t *as not often that her inde-endent nature cra!ed outsidesu--ort, but she *as half conscious of *ishing at the -resentjuncture that she -ossessed a some*hat less casual father. 2he*ould ha!e liked to ask him to hel- her decide a -roblem *hichhad been !eing her for nearly three *eeks no*, e!er since (ordWisbeach had asked her to marry him and she had -romised to gi!ehim his ans*er on her return from England. 2he had been back in



/e* 0ork se!eral days no*, but she had not been able to make u-her mind. This annoyed her, for she *as a girl *ho liked s*iftdecisi!eness of thought and action both in others and in herself.2he *as fond of )r. "hester in much the same unemotional,detached *ay that he *as fond of her, but she *as -erfectly *ella*are of the futility of e-ecting counsel from him. 2he saidgood'bye to him at the boat, fussed o!er his comfort for a*hilein a motherly *ay, and then dro!e slo*ly back. 5or the first timein her life she *as feeling uncertain of herself. When she hadleft for England, she had -ractically made u- her mind to acce-t(ord Wisbeach, and had only deferred actual acce-tance of himbecause in her cool *ay she *ished to re'eamine the -osition ather leisure. 2econd thoughts had brought no re!ulsion of feeling.2he had not *a!ered until her arri!al in /e* 0ork. Then, for somereason *hich baffled her, the idea of marrying (ord Wisbeach hadbecome !aguely distasteful. nd no* she found herself fluctuatingbet*een this mood and her former one.

2he reached the house on $i!erside &ri!e, but did not slacken thes-eed of the machine. 2he kne* that (ord Wisbeach *ould be

*aiting for her there, and she did not *ish to meet him just yet.2he *anted to be alone. 2he *as feeling de-ressed. 2he *onderedif this *as because she had just de-arted from her father, anddecided that it *as. #is s*ift entrances into and eits from herlife al*ays left her tem-orarily restless. 2he dro!e on u- theri!er. 2he meant to decide her -roblem one *ay or the otherbefore she returned home.

(ord Wisbeach, mean*hile, *as talking to )rs. Pett and Willie,its in!entor, about Partridgite. Willie, on hearing himselfaddressed, had turned slo*ly *ith an air of absentself'im-ortance, the air of a great thinker disturbed inmid'thought. #e al*ays looked like that *hen s-oken to, and there*ere those'')r. Pett belonged to this school of thought''*ho heldthat there *as nothing to him beyond that look and that he hadbuilt u- his re-utation as a budding mastermind on a foundationthat consisted entirely of a !acant eye, a mo- of hair through*hich he could run his fingers, and the fame of his late father.

Willie Partridge *as the son of the great in!entor, &*ightPartridge, and it *as generally understood that the e-losi!e,Partridgite, *as to be the result of a continuation ofe-eriments *hich his father had been *orking u-on at the time ofhis death. That &*ight Partridge had been trying e-eriments inthe direction of a ne* and -o*erful e-losi!e during the lastyear of his life *as common kno*ledge in those circles *hich areinterested in such things. 5oreign go!ernments *ere understood to

ha!e made tentati!e o!ertures to him. But a sudden illness,ending fatally, had finished the budding career of Partridgiteabru-tly, and the *orld had thought no more of it until aninter!ie* in the <2unday "hronicle<, that store'house ofinformation about interesting -eo-le, announced that Willie *ascarrying on his father1s e-eriments at the -oint *here he hadleft off. 2ince then there had been !ague rumours of -ossiblesensational de!elo-ments, *hich Willie had neither denied norconfirmed. #e -reser!ed the mysterious silence *hich *ent so *ell*ith his a--earance.



#a!ing turned slo*ly so that his eyes rested on (ord Wisbeach1singenuous countenance, Willie -aused, and his face assumed thee-ression of his -hotogra-h in the <"hronicle<.

3h, Wisbeach43 he said.

(ord Wisbeach did not a--ear to resent the -atronage of hismanner. #e -lunged cheerily into talk. #e had a -leasant, sim-le*ay of com-orting himself *hich made -eo-le like him.

3% *as just telling )rs. Pett,3 he said, 3that % shouldn1t besur-rised if you *ere to get an offer for your stuff from ourfello*s at home before long. % sa* a lot of our War 6ffice men*hen % *as in England, don1t you kno*. 2e!eral of them mentionedthe stuff.3

Willie resented Partridgite as being referred to as 3the stuff,3but he made allo*ance. ll Englishmen talked that *ay, hesu--osed.

3%ndeed73 he said.

36f course,3 said )rs. Pett, 3Willie is a -atriot and *ould ha!eto gi!e our o*n authorities the first chance.3

3$ather43

3But you kno* *hat officials are all o!er the *orld. They are sosce-tical and they mo!e so slo*ly.3

3% kno*. 6ur men at home are just the same as a rule. %1!e got a-al *ho in!ented something'or'other, % forget *hat, but it *as amost decent little contri!ance and !ery useful and all that9 andhe sim-ly can1t get them to say 0es or /o about it. But, all thesame, % *onder you didn1t ha!e some of them trying to -ut outfeelers to you *hen you *ere in (ondon.3

36h, *e *ere only in (ondon a fe* hours. By the *ay, (ordWisbeach, my sister''3'')rs. Pett -aused9 she disliked to ha!e tomention her sister or to refer to this subject at all, butcuriosity im-elled her''3my sister said that you are a greatfriend of her ste-'son, James "rocker. % didn1t kno* that youkne* him.3

(ord Wisbeach seemed to hesitate for a moment.

3#e1s not coming o!er, is he7 Pity4 %t *ould ha!e done him a*orld of good. 0es, Jimmy "rocker and % ha!e al*ays been great-als. #e1s a bit of a nut, of course, . . . % beg your -ardon4. . . % mean . . .3 #e broke off confusedly, and turned to Willieagain to co!er himself. 3#o* are you getting on *ith the jollyold stuff73 he asked.

%f Willie had objected to Partridgite being called 3the stuff,3he *as still less in fa!our of its being termed 3the jolly oldstuff.3 #e re-lied coldly.



3% ha!e ceased to get along *ith the jolly old stuff.3

32truck a snag73 enuired (ord Wisbeach sym-athetically.

36n the contrary, my e-eriments ha!e been entirely successful. %ha!e enough Partridgite in my laboratory to blo* /e* 0ork tobits43

3Willie43 eclaimed )rs. Pett. 3Why didn1t you tell me before70ou kno* % am so interested.3

3% only com-leted my *ork last night.3

#e mo!ed off *ith an im-ortant nod. #e *as tired of (ordWisbeach1s society. There *as something about the young man *hichhe did not like. #e *ent to find more congenial com-any in agrou- by the *indo*.

(ord Wisbeach turned to his hostess. The !acuous e-ression had

dro--ed from his face like a mask. -air of keen and intelligenteyes met )rs. Pett1s.

3)rs. Pett, may % s-eak to you seriously73

)rs. Pett1s sur-rise at the alteration in the man -re!ented herfrom re-lying. )uch as she liked (ord Wisbeach, she had ne!ergi!en him credit for brains, and it *as a man *ith brains andkeen ones *ho *as looking at her no*. 2he nodded.

3%f your ne-he* has really succeeded in his e-eriments, youshould be a*fully careful. That stuff ought not to lie about inhis laboratory, though no doubt he has hidden it as carefully as-ossible. %t ought to be in a safe some*here. %n that safe inyour library. /e*s of this kind mo!es like lightning. t this!ery moment, there may be -eo-le *atching for a chance of gettingat the stuff.3

E!ery ner!e in )rs. Pett1s body, e!ery cell of a brain *hich hadfor years been absorbing and gi!ing out sensational fiction,ui!ered irre-ressibly at these *ords, s-oken in a lo*, tense!oice *hich ga!e them additional em-hasis. /e!er had shemisjudged a man as she had misjudged (ord Wisbeach.

32-ies73 she ua!ered.

3They *ouldn1t call themsel!es that,3 said (ord Wisbeach. 32ecret2er!ice agents. E!ery country has its men *hose only duty it isto handle this sort of *ork.3

3They *ould try to steal Willie1s''73 )rs. Pett1s !oice failed.

3They *ould not look on it as stealing. Their moti!es *ould be-atriotic. % tell you, )rs. Pett, % ha!e heard stories fromfriends of mine in the English 2ecret 2er!ice *hich *ould ama+eyou. Perfectly straight men in -ri!ate life, but absolutely



unscru-ulous *hen at *ork. They stick at nothing''nothing. %f %*ere you, % should sus-ect e!ery one, es-ecially e!ery stranger.3#e smiled engagingly. 30ou are thinking that that is odd ad!icefrom one *ho is -ractically a stranger like myself. /e!er mind.2us-ect me, too, if you like. Be on the safe side.3

3% *ould not dream of doing such a thing, (ord Wisbeach,3 said)rs. Pett horrified. 3% trust you im-licitly. E!en su--osing sucha thing *ere -ossible, *ould you ha!e *arned me like this, if youhad been''73

3That1s true,3 said (ord Wisbeach. 3% ne!er thought of that.Well, let me say, sus-ect e!erybody but me.3 #e sto--ed abru-tly.3)rs. Pett,3 he *his-ered, 3don1t look round for a moment.Wait.3 The *ords *ere almost inaudible. 3Who is that man behindyou7 #e has been listening to us. Turn slo*ly.3

With elaborate carelessness, )rs. Pett turned her head. t firstshe thought her com-anion must ha!e alluded to one of a small

grou- of young men *ho, !ery im-ro-erly in such surroundings,*ere discussing *ith raised !oices the -ros-ects of the clubscom-eting for the /ational (eague Baseball Pennant. Then,etending the s*ee- of her ga+e, she sa* that she had beenmistaken. )id*ay bet*een her and this grou- stood a singlefigure, the figure of a stout man in a s*allo*'tail suit, *hobore before him a tray *ith cu-s on it. s she turned, this mancaught her eye, ga!e a guilty start, and hurried across the room.

30ou sa*73 said (ord Wisbeach. 3#e *as listening. Who is thatman7 0our butler a--arently. What do you kno* of him73

3#e is my ne* butler. #is name is 2kinner.3

3h, your <ne*< butler7 #e hasn1t been *ith you long, then73

3#e only arri!ed from England three days ago.3

35rom England7 #o* did he get in here7 % mean, on *hoserecommendation73

3)r. Pett offered him the -lace *hen *e met him at my sister1s in(ondon. We *ent o!er there to see my sister, Eugenia'')rs."rocker. This man *as the butler *ho admitted us. #e asked )r.Pett something about baseball, and )r. Pett *as so -leased thathe offered him a -lace here if he *anted to come o!er. The mandid not gi!e any definite ans*er then, but a--arently he sailed

on the net boat, and came to the house a fe* days after *e hadreturned.3

(ord Wisbeach laughed softly.

3=ery smart. 6f course they had him -lanted there for the-ur-ose.3

3What ought % to do73 asked )rs. Pett agitatedly.



3&o nothing. There is nothing that you can do, for the -resent,ece-t kee- your eyes o-en. Watch this man 2kinner. 2ee if he hasany accom-lices. %t is hardly likely that he is *orking alone.2us-ect e!erybody. Belie!e me . . .3

t this moment, a--arently from some u--er region, there burstforth an u-roar so sudden and o!er*helming that it might *ellha!e been taken for a -remature testing of a large sam-le ofPartridgite9 until a moment later it began to resemble morenearly the shrieks of some -artially destroyed !ictim of thatdeath'dealing in!ention. %t *as a bello* of anguish, and it-oured through the house in a cascade of sound, ad!ertising toall beneath the roof the t*in facts that some -erson unkno*n *assuffering and that *hoe!er the sufferer might be he had ecellentlungs.

The effect on the gathering in the dra*ing'room *as immediate andim-ressi!e. "on!ersation ceased as if it had been turned off *itha ta-. T*el!e se-arate and distinct discussions on t*el!e highlyintellectual to-ics died instantaneously. %t *as as if the last

trum- had sounded. 5uturist -ainters stared -allidly at <!erslibre< -oets, s-eech smitten from their li-s9 and stage -erformerslooked at esoteric Buddhists *ith a *ild surmise.

The sudden silence had the effect of em-hasising the strangenoise and rendering it more distinct, thus enabling it to carryits message to one at least of the listeners. )rs. Pett, after amoment of strained attention in *hich time seemed to her to standstill, uttered a *ailing cry and lea-ed for the door.

36gden43 she shrilled9 and -assed u- the stairs t*o at a time,gathering s-eed as she *ent. boy1s best friend is his mother.

"#PTE$ >

%/2T$"T%6/ %/ &EP6$T)E/T

While the feast of reason and flo* of soul had been in -rogressin the dra*ing'room, in the gymnasium on the to- floor Jerry)itchell, a*aiting the coming of )r. Pett, had been -assing thetime in im-ro!ing *ith strenuous eercise his already im-ressi!e-hysiue. %f )rs. Pett1s guests had been less noisilyconcentrated on their con!ersation, they might ha!e heard themuffled <ta-'ta-'ta-< that -roclaimed that Jerry )itchell *as-unching the bag u-stairs.

%t *as not until he had -unched it for -erha-s fi!e minutes that,desisting from his labours, he -ercei!ed that he had the -leasureof the com-any of little 6gden 5ord. The stout boy *as standingin the door*ay, obser!ing him *ith an attenti!e eye.

3What are you doing73 enuired 6gden.

Jerry -assed a glo!ed fist o!er his dam- bro*.



3Punchin1 the bag.3

#e began to remo!e his glo!es, eyeing 6gden the *hile *ith adisa--ro!al *hich he made no attem-t to conceal. n etremist onthe subject of kee-ing in condition, the s-ectacle of the bulbousstri-ling *as a constant offence to him. 6gden, in -ursuance ofhis in!ariable custom on the days *hen )rs. Pett entertained, hadbeen lurking on the stairs outside the dra*ing'room for the -asthour, le!ying toll on the food'stuffs that -assed his *ay. #e*ore a congested look, and there *as jam about his mouth.

3Why73 he said, retrie!ing a morsel of jam from his right cheek*ith the ti- of his tongue.

3To kee- in condition.3

3Why do you *ant to kee- in condition73

Jerry flung the glo!es into their locker.

35ade43 he said *earily. 35ade43

3#uh73

3Beat it43

3#uh73 )uch -astry seemed to ha!e clouded the boy1s mind.

3$un a*ay.3

3&on1t *ant to run a*ay.3

The annoyed -ugilist sat do*n and scrutinised his !isitorcritically.

30ou ne!er do anything you don1t *ant to, % guess73

3/o,3 said 6gden sim-ly. 30ou1!e got a funny nose,3 he addeddis-assionately. 3What did you do to it to make it like that73

)r. )itchell shifted restlessly on his chair. #e *as not a !ainman, but he *as a little sensiti!e about that -articular item inhis make'u-.

3(i++ie says it1s the funniest nose she e!er sa*. 2he says it1ssomething out of a comic su--lement.3

dull flush, such as fi!e minutes *ith the bag had been unableto -roduce, a--eared on Jerry )itchell1s -eculiar countenance. %t*as not that he looked on (i++ie )ur-hy, herself no (illian$ussell, as an acce-ted authority on the subject of facialbeauty9 but he *as a*are that in this instance she s-oke not*ithout reason, and he *as !eed, moreo!er, as many another hadbeen before him, by the note of indulgent -atronage in 6gden1s!oice. #is fingers t*itched a little eagerly, and he lookedsullenly at his tactless junior.



3Get out43

3#uh73

3Get outa here43

3&on1t *ant to get out of here,3 said 6gden *ith finality. #e -uthis hand in his trouser'-ocket and -ulled out a sticky mass *hichlooked as if it might once ha!e been a cream'-uff or a meringue.#e s*allo*ed it contentedly. 3%1d forgotten % had that,3 hee-lained. 3)ary ga!e it to me on the stairs. )ary thinks you1!ea funny nose, too,3 he -roceeded, as one relating agreeablegossi-.

3"an it4 "an it43 eclaimed the eas-erated -ugilist.

3%1m only telling you *hat % heard her say.3

)r. )itchell rose con!ulsi!ely and took a ste- to*ards his-ersecutor, breathing noisily through the criticised organ. #e

*as a chi!alrous man, a *arm admirer of the se, but he *asconscious of a *ish that it *as in his -o*er to gi!e )ary *hat he*ould ha!e described as 3hers.3 2he *as one of the -arlour'maids,a homely *oman *ith a hard eye, and it *as -art of his grie!anceagainst her that his )aggie, alias "elestine, )rs. Pett1s maid,had formed an enthusiastic friendshi- *ith her. #e had noe!idence to go on, but he sus-ected )ary of using her influence*ith "elestine to urge the suit of his leading ri!al for thelatter1s hand, Biggs the chauffeur. #e disliked )ary intensely,e!en on general grounds. 6gden1s re!elation added fuel to hisa!ersion. 5or a moment he toyed *ith the fascinating thought ofrelie!ing his feelings by s-anking the boy, but restrainedhimself reluctantly at the thought of the ine!itable ruin *hich*ould ensue. #e had been an inmate of the house long enough tokno*, *ith a com-leteness *hich *ould ha!e embarrassed thatgentleman, *hat a ci-her )r. Pett *as in the home and ho* littlehis cham-ionshi- *ould a!ail in the e!ent of a clash *ith )rs.Pett. nd to gi!e 6gden that -hysical treatment *hich should longsince ha!e formed the main -lank in the -latform of his education*ould be to in!ite her *rath as nothing else could. #e checkedhimself, and reached out for the ski--ing'ro-e, ho-ing to easehis mind by further eercise.

6gden, che*ing the remains of the cream'-uff, eyed him *ithlanguid curiosity.

3What are you doing that for73

)r. )itchell ski--ed grimly on.

3What are you doing that for7 % thought only girls ski--ed.3

)r. )itchell -aid no heed. 6gden, after a moment1s silentcontem-lation, returned to his original train of thought.

3% sa* an ad!ertisement in a maga+ine the other day of a sort ofmachine for altering the sha-e of noses. 0ou stra- it on *hen you



go to bed. 0ou ought to get -o- to blo* you to one.3

Jerry )itchell breathed in a laboured *ay.

30ou *ant to look nice about the -lace, don1t you7 Well, then4there1s no sense in going around looking like that if you don1tha!e to, is there7 % heard )ary talking about your nose to Biggsand "elestine. 2he said she had to laugh e!ery time she sa* it.3

The ski--ing'ro-e faltered in its s*ee-, caught in the ski--er1slegs, and sent him staggering across the room. 6gden thre* backhis head and laughed merrily. #e liked free entertainments, andthis struck him as a -articularly enjoyable one.

There are moments in the life of e!ery man *hen the im-ulseattacks him to sacrifice his future to the alluring gratificationof the -resent. The strong man resists such im-ulses. Jerry)itchell *as not a *eak man, but he had been sorely tried. Theannoyance of 6gden1s -resence and con!ersation had sa--ed hisself'restraint, as dri--ing *ater *ill *ear a*ay a rock. short

*hile before, he had fought do*n the urgent tem-tation tomassacre this eas-erating child, but no*, des-ised lo!e addingits sting to that of injured !anity, he forgot the conseuences.Bounding across the room, he sei+ed 6gden in a -o*erful gri-, andthe net instant the latter1s education, in the true sense of the*ord, so long -ost-oned, had begun9 and *ith it that a!alanche ofsound *hich, rolling do*n into the dra*ing'room, hurled )rs. Pettso !iolently and *ith such abru-tness from the society of herguests.

&is-osing of the last flight of stairs *ith the agility of thechamois *hich lea-s from crag to crag of the sno*'to--ed l-s,)rs. Pett finished *ith a fine burst of s-eed along the -assageon the to- floor, and rushed into the gymnasium just as Jerry1sa!enging hand *as descending for the ele!enth time.

"#PTE$ >%

J%))0 &E"%&E2 T6 BE #%)2E(5

%t *as less than a uarter of an hour later''such *as the s-eed*ith *hich /emesis, usually slo*, had o!ertaken him''that Jerry)itchell, carrying a gri- and *alking dejectedly, emerged fromthe back -remises of the Pett home and started do*n $i!erside&ri!e in the direction of his boarding'house, a chea-, clean, and

res-ectable establishment situated on /inety'se!enth 2treetbet*een the &ri!e and Broad*ay. #is usually -lacid ner!ous system*as ruffled and a'ui!er from the e!ents of the afternoon, andhis cauliflo*er ears still burned reminiscently at therecollection of the uncom-limentary *ords shot at them by )rs.Pett before she e-elled him from the house. )oreo!er, he *as ina mild -anic at the thought of ha!ing to see nn later on and tryto e-lain the disaster to her. #e kne* ho* the ne*s *ould affecther. 2he had set her heart on remo!ing 6gden to more disci-linarysurroundings, and she could not -ossibly do it no* that her ally



*as no longer an inmate of the house. #e *as an essential factorin the scheme, and no*, to gratify the desire of the moment, hehad eliminated himself. (ong before he reached the bro*n'stonehouse, *hich looked eactly like all the other bro*n'stone housesin all the other side'streets of u-to*n /e* 0ork, the first finecareless ra-ture of his mad outbreak had -assed from Jerry)itchell, lea!ing ner!ous a--rehension in its -lace. nn *as agirl *hom he *orshi--ed res-ectfully, but he feared her in her*rath.

#a!ing entered the boarding'house, Jerry, seeking com-any in hishour of sorro*, climbed the stairs till he reached a door on thesecond floor. 2niffing and detecting the odour of tobacco, heknocked and *as hidden to enter.

3#ello, Bayliss43 he said sadly, ha!ing obeyed the call.

#e sat do*n on the end of the bed and hea!ed a dee- sigh.

The room *hich he had entered *as airy but small, so small,

indeed, that the -resence of any furniture in it at all *asalmost miraculous, for at first sight it seemed incredible thatthe bed did not fill it from side to side. There *ere ho*e!er, afe* !acant s-ots, and in these had been -laced a *ash'stand, achest of dra*ers, and a midget rocking'chair. The *indo*, *hich

the thoughtful architect had designed at least three si+es toolarge for the room and *hich admitted the e!ening air in -leasing-rofusion, looked out onto a series of forlorn back'yards. %nboarding'houses, it is only the *indo*s of the rich and haughtythat face the street.

6n the bed, a corn'cob -i-e bet*een his teeth, lay Jimmy "rocker.#e *as shoeless and in his shirt'slee!es. There *as a crum-lede!ening -a-er on the floor beside the bed. #e seemed to be takinghis rest after the labours of a trying day.

t the sound of Jerry1s sigh he raised his head, but, finding theattitude too se!ere a strain on the muscles of the neck, restoredit to the -illo*.

3What1s the matter, Jerry7 0ou seem -erturbed. 0ou ha!e theas-ect of one *hom 5ate has smitten in the s-iritual solar-leus, or of one *ho has been searching for the leak in (ife1sgas-i-e *ith a lighted candle. What1s *rong73

3"urtains43

Jimmy, through long absence from his nati!e land, *as not al*aysable to follo* Jerry1s thoughts *hen concealed in the *ra--ingsof the -eculiar dialect *hich he affected.

3% get you not, friend. 2u--ly a fe* footnotes.3

3%1!e been fired.3

Jimmy sat u-. This *as no imaginary trouble, no mere <malaise<



of the tem-erament. %t *as concrete, and called for sym-athy.

3%1m a*fully sorry,3 he said. 3/o *onder you aren1t rollicking.#o* did it ha--en73

3That half'-ortion Bill Taft came joshing me about my bee+er tillit got something fierce,3 e-lained Jerry. 3William J. Bryancouldn1t ha!e stood for it.3

6nce again Jimmy lost the thread. The *ealth of -oliticalallusion baffled him.

3What1s Taft been doing to you73

3%t *asn1t Taft. #e only looks like him. %t *as that kid 6gden u-*here % *ork. #e came butting into the gym, joshing meabout''makin1 -ers1nal remarks till % kind of lost my goat, andthe net thing % kne* % *as gi!ing him his43 faint gleam of-leasure lightened the gloom of his face. 3% cert1nly gi!e himhis43 The gleam faded. 3nd after that''*ell, here % am43

Jimmy understood no*. #e had come to the boarding'house the nightof his meeting *ith Jerry )itchell on Broad*ay, and had beenthere e!er since, and freuent con!ersations *ith the -ugilisthad -ut him abreast of affairs at the Pett home. #e *as familiar*ith the <-ersonnel< of the establishment on $i!erside &ri!e,and kne* -recisely ho* great *as the crime of administeringcorrection to 6gden 5ord, no matter *hat the cause. /or did hereuire e-lanation of the -henomenon of )rs. Pett dismissing one*ho *as in her husband1s -ri!ate em-loyment. Jerry had hissym-athy freely.

30ou a--ear,3 he said, 3to ha!e acted in a thoroughly ca-able and-raise*orthy manner. The only -oint in your conduct *hich % *ould-ermit myself to criticise is your omission to slay the kid.That, ho*e!er, *as due, % take it, to the fact that you *ereinterru-ted. We *ill no* -roceed to eamine the future. % cannotsee that it is altogether murky. 0ou ha!e lost a good job, butthere are others, eually good, for a man of your calibre. /e*0ork is crammed *ith dys-e-tic millionaires *ho need an efficient-hysical instructor to look after them. "heer u-, "uthbert, forthe sun is still shining43

Jerry )itchell shook his head. #e refused to be comforted.

3%t1s )iss nn,3 he said. 3What am % going to say to her73

3What has she got to do *ith it73 asked Jimmy, interested.

5or a moment Jerry hesitated, but the desire for sym-athy andad!ice *as too strong for him. nd after all there *as no harm inconfiding in a good comrade like Jimmy.

3%t1s like this,3 he said. 3)iss nn and me had got it all fiedu- to kidna- the kid43

3What43



32ay, % don1t mean ordinary kidna--ing. %t1s this *ay. )iss nncome to me and *e agree that the kid1s a -est that had ought toha!e some strong'arm kee- him in order, so *e decide to get hima*ay to a friend of mine *ho kee-s a dogs1 hos-ital do*n on (ong%sland. Bud 2mithers is the guy to handle that kid. 0ou ought tosee him take hold of a dog that1s all grouch and ugliness andmake it o!er into a dog that it1s a -leasure to ha!e around. %thought a fe* *eeks *ith Bud *as *hat the doctor ordered for6gden, and )iss nn guessed % *as right, so *e had it all framed.nd no* this ha--ens and balls e!erything u-4 2he can1t donothing *ith a husky kid like that *ithout me to hel- her. ndho* am % going to hel- her if %1m not allo*ed in the house73

Jimmy *as conscious of a rene*ed admiration for a girl *hom hehad al*ays considered a ueen among *omen. #o* rarely in this*orld did one find a girl *ho combined e!ery feminine charm ofmind and body *ith a resolute determination to raise "ain at theslightest -ro!ocation4

3What an absolutely corking idea43

Jerry smirked modestly at the a--robation, but returned instantlyto his gloom.

30ou get me no*7 What am % to say to her7 2he1ll be sore43

3The -roblem,3 Jimmy had begun, 3is one *hich, as you suggest,-resents certain''3 *hen there *as a knock at the door and thehead of the boarding'house1s maid'of'all'*ork -o--ed in.

3)r. Bayliss, is )r. )itchell''7 6h, say, )r. )itchell, there1s alady do*n belo* *ants to see you. 2ays her name1s "hester.3

Jerry looked at Jimmy a--ealingly.

3What1ll % do73

3&o nothing,3 said Jimmy, rising and reaching for his shoes.3%1ll go do*n and see her. % can e-lain for you.3

3%t1s mighty good of you.3

3%t *ill be a -leasure. $ely on me.3

nn, *ho had returned from her dri!e shortly after the 6gdendisaster and had instantly -roceeded to the boarding'house, had

been sho*n into the -arlour. Jimmy found her staring in a ra-t*ay at a statuette of the %nfant 2amuel *hich stood near a bo*lof *a fruit on the mantel-iece. 2he *as feeling aggrie!ed *ith5ate and etremely angry *ith Jerry )itchell, and she turned atthe sound of the o-ening door *ith a militant e-ression in hereyes, *hich changed to one of astonishment on -ercei!ing *ho it*as that had come in.

3)r. Bayliss43



3Good e!ening, )iss "hester. We, so to s-eak, meet again. % ha!ecome as an intermediary. To be brief, Jerry )itchell daren1t faceyou, so % offered to come do*n instead.3

3But ho*''but *hy are you here73

3% li!e here.3 #e follo*ed her ga+e. %t rested on a -icture ofco*s in a field. 3(ate merican school,3 he said. 3ttributed tothe landlady1s niece, a graduate of the Wissahickon, Pa."orres-ondence 2chool of Pictorial rt. 2aid to be genuine.3

30ou <li!e< here73 re-eated nn. 2he had been brought u- all herlife among the carefully thought out effects of eminent interiordecorators, and the room seemed more dreadful to her than itactually *as. 3What an a*ful room43

3*ful7 0ou must be o!erlooking the -iano. "an1t you see thehandsome -lush co!er from *here you are standing7 )o!e a little

to the southeast and shade your eyes. We get music here of an

e!ening''*hen *e don1t see it coming and sideste-.3

3Why in the name of goodness do you li!e here, )r. Bayliss73

3Because, )iss "hester, % am infernally hard u-4 Because theBayliss bank'roll has been stricken *ith a *asting sickness.3

nn *as looking at him incredulously.

3But''but''then, did you really mean all that at lunch the otherday7 % thought you *ere joking. % took it for granted that youcould get *ork *hene!er you *anted to or you *ouldn1t ha!e madefun of it like that4 "an1t you really find anything to do73

3Plenty to do. But %1m not -aid for it. % *alk a great number ofblocks and jum- into a great number of cars and di!e intoele!ators and di!e out again and o-en doors and say 1Goodmorning1 *hen -eo-le tell me they ha!en1t a job for me. )y daysare uite full, but my -ocket'book isn1t43

nn had forgotten all about her errand in her sym-athy.

3%1m so sorry. Why, it1s terrible4 % should ha!e thought you

could ha!e found <something<.3

3% thought the same till the em-loyers of /e* 0ork in a body told

me % couldn1t. )en of *idely differing !ie*s on religion,-olitics, and a hundred other -oints, they *ere unanimous onthat. The nearest % came to being a financial Titan *as *hen %landed a job in a store on Broad*ay, demonstrating a -atentcollar'cli- at ten dollars a *eek. 5or a*hile all /ature seemedto be shouting 1Ten -er4 Ten -er41 than *hich there are fe*s*eeter *ords in the language. But % *as fired half'*ay throughthe second day, and /ature changed her act.3

3But *hy73



3%t *asn1t my fault. Just 5ate. This contri!ance *as called;li-stone1s ;ute ;ollar';li-, and it *as su--osed to make it easyfor you to fasten your tie. )y job *as to stand in the *indo* inmy shirt'slee!es, gnashing my teeth and registering baffled rage*hen % tried the old, obsolete method and beaming on themultitude *hen % used the ;li-. nfortunately % got the cardsmied. % beamed *hen % tried the old, obsolete method and nearlyburst myself *ith baffled fury just after % had ehibited thecard bearing the *ords 1% *ill no* try ;li-stone1s ;ute ;li-.1 %couldn1t think *hat the !ast cro*d outside the *indo* *aslaughing at till the boss, *ho chanced to -ause on the outskirtsof the gathering on his *ay back from lunch, *as good enough totell me. /othing that % could say *ould con!ince him that % *asnot being intentionally humorous. % *as sorry to lose the job,though it did make me feel like a goldfish. But talking of beingfired brings us back to Jerry )itchell.3

36h, ne!er mind Jerry )itchell no*''3

36n the contrary, let us discuss his case and the -oints arisingfrom it *ith care and concentration. Jerry )itchell has told meall43

nn *as startled.

3What do you mean73

3The *ord 1all,13 said Jimmy, 3is slang for 1e!erything.1 0ou seein me a confidant. %n a *ord, % am he-.3

30ou kno*''73

3E!erything. collouialism,3 e-lained Jimmy, 3for 1all.1 bout6gden, you kno*. The scheme. The -lot. The enter-rise.3

nn found nothing to say.

3% am thoroughly in fa!our of the -lan. 2o much so that % -ro-oseto assist you by taking Jerry1s -lace.3

3% don1t understand.3

3&o you remember at lunch that day, after that remarkable -ersonhad mistaken me for Jimmy "rocker, you suggested in a light,casual *ay that if % *ere to *alk into your uncle1s office andclaim to be Jimmy "rocker % should he *elcomed *ithout a

uestion7 %1m going to do it. Then, once aboard the lugger''oncein the house, % am at your orders. se me eactly as you *ouldha!e used Jerry )itchell.3

3But''but''43

3Jerry43 said Jimmy scornfully. 3"an1t % do e!erything that hecould ha!e done7 nd more. bonehead like Jerry *ould ha!e beencertain to ha!e bungled the thing someho*. % kno* him *ell. good fello*, but in matters reuiring intellect and s*ift thought



dead from the neck u-. %t1s a !ery lucky thing he is out of therunning. % lo!e him like a brother, but his dome is of i!ory.This job reuires a man of tact, sense, shre*dness, initiati!e,<es-rit<, and <!er!e<.3 #e -aused. 3)e43 he concluded.

3But it1s ridiculous4 %t1s out of the uestion43

3/ot at all. % must be etraordinarily like Jimmy "rocker, orthat fello* at the restaurant *ouldn1t ha!e taken me for him.(ea!e this in my hands. % can get a*ay *ith it.3

3% shan1t dream of allo*ing you''3

3t nine o1clock to'morro* morning,3 said Jimmy firmly, 3%-resent myself at )r. Pett1s office. %t1s all settled.3

nn *as silent. 2he *as endea!ouring to adjust her mind to theidea. #er first startled re!ulsion from it had begun to *ane. %t*as an idea -eculiarly suited to her tem-erament, an idea thatshe might ha!e suggested herself if she had thought of it. 2oon,

from being disa--ro!ing, she found herself glo*ing *ithadmiration for its author. #e *as a young man of her o*n sort4

30ou asked me on the boat, if you remember,3 said Jimmy, 3if %had an ad!enturous soul. % am no* submitting my -roofs. 0ou alsos-oke highly of merica as a land *here there *ere ad!entures tobe had. % no* see that you *ere right.3

nn thought for a moment.

3%f % consent to your doing this insane thing, )r. Bayliss, *illyou -romise me something73

3nything.3

3Well, in the first -lace % absolutely refuse to let you risk allsorts of frightful things by coming into this kidna--ing -lot.32he *a!ed him do*n, and *ent on. 3But % see *here you can hel- me!ery much. s % told you at lunch, my aunt *ould do anything forJimmy "rocker if he *ere to a--ear in /e* 0ork no*. % *ant you to-romise that you *ill confine your acti!ities to asking her tolet Jerry )itchell come back.3

3/e!er43

30ou said you *ould -romise me anything.3

3nything but that.3

3Then it is all off43

Jimmy -ondered.

3%t1s terribly tame that *ay.3

3/e!er mind. %t1s the only *ay % *ill consider.3



3=ery *ell. % -rotest, though.3

nn sat do*n.

3% think you1re s-lendid, )r. Bayliss. %1m much obliged43

3/ot at all.3

3%t *ill be such a s-lendid thing for 6gden, *on1t it73

3dmirable.3

3/o* the only thing to do is just to see that *e ha!e gote!erything straight. #o* about this, for instance7 They *ill askyou *hen you arri!ed in /e* 0ork. #o* are you going to accountfor your delay in coming to see them73

3%1!e thought of that. There1s a boat that docks to'morro*''the<"aronia<, % think. %1!e got a -a-er u-stairs. %1ll look it u-. %can say % came by her.3

3That seems all right. %t1s lucky you and uncle Peter ne!er meton the <tlantic<.3

3nd no* as to my demeanour on entering the home7 #o* should %beha!e7 2hould % be jaunty or humble7 What *ould a long'lostne-he* naturally do73

3 long'lost ne-he* *ith a record like Jimmy "rocker1s *ouldcra*l in *ith a *hite flag, % should think.3

bell clanged in the hall.

32u--er43 said Jimmy. 3To go into -ainful details, /e* Englandboiled dinner, or my senses decei!e me, and -runes.3

3% must be going.3

3We shall meet at Phili--i.3

#e sa* her to the door, and stood at the to- of the ste-s*atching her trim figure !anish into the dusk. 2he -assed fromhis sight. Jimmy dre* a dee- breath, and, thinking hard, *entdo*n the -assage to fortify himself *ith su--er.

"#PTE$ >%%

J%))0 "T"#E2 T#E B62212 E0E

When Jimmy arri!ed at )r. Pett1s office on Pine 2treet atten'thirty the net morning''his e-ressed intention of gettingu- early enough to be there by nine ha!ing -ro!ed an em-tyboast''he *as in a high state of -re-aredness. #e had made readyfor *hat might be a trying inter!ie* by substituting acombination of *ell'chosen dishes at an e-ensi!e hotel for the



less imaginati!e boarding'house breakfast *ith *hich he had oflate been insulting his interior. #is suit *as -ressed, his shoesgleamed brightly, and his chin *as smoothly sha!en. These things,combined *ith the -erfection of the morning and that !agueehilaration *hich a fine day in do*n'to*n /e* 0ork brings to theman *ho has not got to *ork, increased his natural o-timism.2omething seemed to tell him that all *ould he *ell. #e *ouldha!e been the last -erson to deny that his -osition *as a littlecom-licated''he had to use a -encil and a sheet of -a-er to sho*himself just *here he stood''but *hat of that7 fe*com-lications in life are an ecellent tonic for the brain. %t*as *ith a sunny geniality *hich startled that unaccustomedstri-ling considerably''and indeed caused him to s*allo* hische*ing gum''that he handed in his card to )r. Pett1s *atchfully*aiting office'boy.

3This to the boss, my o-en'faced lad43 he said. 3Get s*iftly offthe mark.3

The boy de-arted dumbly.

5rom *here he stood, outside the barrier *hich se-arated !isitorsto the office from the *orkers *ithin, Jimmy could see a !ista ofefficient'looking young men *ith -a-er -rotectors round theircuffs *orking a*ay at mysterious jobs *hich seemed to in!ol!e theuse of a great deal of -a-er. 6ne in -articular *as so surroundedby it that he had the a--earance of a bather in surf. Jimmy eyedthese toilers *ith a comfortable and kindly eye. ll thisindustry made him feel ha--y. #e liked to think of this sort ofthing going on all round him.

The office'boy returned. 3This *ay, -lease.3

The res-ectfulness of the lad1s manner had increased noticeably.)r. Pett1s rece-tion of the !isitor1s name had im-ressed him. %t*as an odd fact that the financier, a ci-her in his o*n home,could im-ress all sorts of -eo-le at the office.

To )r. Pett, the announcement that )r. James "rocker *as *aitingto see him had come like the announcement of a miracle. /ot a dayhad -assed since their return to merica *ithout lamentationsfrom )rs. Pett on the subject of their failure to secure theyoung man1s -erson. The occasion of )rs. Pett1s reading of thearticle in the <2unday "hronicle< descri-ti!e of the (ord PercyWhi--le affair had been uniue in the little man1s domestichistory. 5or the first time since he had kno*n her theindomitable *oman had com-letely broken do*n. 6f all sad *ords of

tongue or -en the saddest are these 3%t might ha!e been43 and thethought that, if she had only ha--ened to kno* it, she had had inher hands during that inter!ie* *ith her sister in (ondon a*ea-on *hich *ould ha!e turned defeat into trium-h *as more thane!en )rs. Pett1s strong s-irit could endure. When she looked backon that scene and recalled the airy *ay in *hich )rs. "rocker hads-oken of her ste-'son1s 3best friend, (ord Percy Whi--le3 andrealised that at that !ery moment (ord Percy had been reco!eringin bed from the effects of his first meeting *ith Jimmy "rocker,the iron entered into her soul and she refused to be comforted.



%n the first instant of realisation she thought of si se-arateand distinct things she could ha!e said to her sister, each morecrushing than the last''things *hich no* she *ould ne!er be ableto say.

nd no*, suddenly and unaccountably, the means *as at hand forrestoring her to her tranuil self'esteem. Jimmy "rocker, des-ite*hat his ste-mother had said, -robably in acti!e defiance of hercommands, had come to merica after all. )r. Pett1s first thought*as that his *ife *ould, as he e-ressed it to himself, be3tickled to death about this.3 2carcely *aiting for theoffice'boy to retire, he lea-ed to*ards Jimmy like a gambollinglamb and sla--ed him on the back *ith e!ery e!idence of joy andfriendliness.

3)y dear boy43 he cried. 3)y dear boy4 %1m delighted to see you43

Jimmy *as sur-rised, relie!ed, and -leased. #e had not e-ectedthis *armth. ci!il coldness had been the best he had lookedfor. #e had been gi!en to understand that in the Pett home he *as

regarded as the black shee-: and, *hile one may admit a blackshee- into the fold, it does not follo* that one must ofnecessity fa*n u-on him.

30ou1re !ery kind,3 he said, rather startled.

They ins-ected each other for a brief moment. )r. Pett *asthinking that Jimmy *as a great im-ro!ement on the -icture hisimagination had dra*n of him. #e had looked for somethingtougher, something flashy and bloated. Jimmy, for his -art, hadtaken an instant liking to the financier. #e, too, had beenmisled by imagination. #e had al*ays su--osed that thesemillionaires do*n Wall 2treet *ay *ere keen, aggressi!e fello*s,*ith gimlet eyes and shar- tongues. 6n the boat he had only seen)r. Pett from afar, and had had no means of estimating hischaracter. #e found him an agreeable little man.

3We had gi!en u- all ho-e of your coming,3 said )r. Pett.

little manly -enitence seemed to Jimmy to be in order.

3% ne!er e-ected you *ould recei!e me like this. % thought %must ha!e made myself rather un-o-ular.3

)r. Pett buried the -ast *ith a gesture.

3When did you land73 he asked.

3This morning. 6n the <"aronia< . . .3

3Good -assage73

3Ecellent.3

There *as a silence. %t seemed to Jimmy that )r. Pett *as lookingat him rather more closely than *as necessary for the actualenjoyment of his style of beauty. #e *as just about to thro* out



some light remark about the health of )rs. Pett or somethingabout -or-oises on the !oyage to add local colour and!erisimilitude, *hen his heart missed a beat, as he -ercei!edthat he had made a blunder. (ike many other amateur -lotters, nnand he had made the mistake of being too elaborate. %t had struckthem as an ingenious idea for Jimmy to -retend that he hadarri!ed that morning, and su-erficially it *as a good idea: buthe no* remembered for the first time that, if he had seen )r.Pett on the <tlantic<, the -robability *as that )r. Pett had seenhim. The net moment the other had confirmed this sus-icion.

3%1!e an idea %1!e seen you before. "an1t think *here.3

3E!erybody *ell at home73 said Jimmy.

3%1m sure of it.3

3%1m looking for*ard to seeing them all.3

3%1!e seen you some -lace.3

3%1m often there.3

3Eh73

)r. Pett seemed to be turning this remark o!er in his mind atrifle sus-iciously. Jimmy changed the subject.

3To a young man like myself,3 he said, 3*ith life o-ening outbefore him, there is something singularly stimulating in thesight of a modern office. #o* busy those fello*s seem43

30es,3 said )r. Pett. 30es.3 #e *as glad that this con!ersationalnote had been struck. #e *as anious to discuss the future *iththis young man.

3E!erybody *orks but father43 said Jimmy.

)r. Pett started.

3Eh73

3/othing.3

)r. Pett *as !aguely ruffled. #e sus-ected insult, but could not-in it do*n. #e abandoned his cheeriness, ho*e!er, and became theman of business.

3% ho-e you intend to settle do*n, no* that you are here, and*ork hard,3 he said in the !oice *hich he !ainly tried to use on6gden at home.

3Work43 said Jimmy blankly.

3% shall be able to make a -lace for you in my office. That *asmy -romise to your ste-'mother, and % shall fulfil it.3



3But *ait a minute4 % don1t get this4 &o you mean to -ut me to*ork73

36f course. % take it that that *as *hy you came o!er here,because you realised ho* you *ere *asting your life and *anted achance of making good in my office.3

hot denial trembled on Jimmy1s tongue. /e!er had he been somisjudged. nd then the thought of nn checked him. #e must donothing that *ould interfere *ith nn1s -lans. Whate!er the cost,he must conciliate this little man. 5or a moment he musedsentimentally on nn. #e ho-ed she *ould understand *hat he *asgoing through for her sake. To a man *ith his ingrained distastefor *ork in any sha-e the sight of those *age'sla!es outsidethere in the outer office had, as he had told )r. Pett, beenstimulating: but only because it filled him *ith a sort ofs-iritual u-lift to think that he had not got to do that sort ofthing. "onsider them in the light of fello*'*orkers, and thes-ectacle ceased to stimulate and became nauseating. nd for hersake he *as about to become one of them4 #ad any knight of old

e!er done anything as big as that for his lady7 #e !ery muchdoubted it.

3ll right,3 he said. 3"ount me in. % take it that % shall ha!e ajob like one of those out there73

30es.3

3/ot -resuming to dictate, % suggest that you gi!e me somethingthat *ill take some of the *ork off that fello* *ho1s s*imming in-a-er. 6nly the ti- of his nose *as abo!e the surface as % -assedthrough. % ne!er sa* so many fello*s *orking so hard at the sametime in my life. ll trying to catch the boss1s eye, too, %su--ose7 %t must make you feel like a sni-e.3

)r. Pett re-lied stiffly. #e disliked this le!ity on the sacredsubject of office *ork. #e considered that Jimmy *as nota--roaching his ne* life in the -ro-er s-irit. )any young men haddiscussed *ith him in that room the subject of *orking in hisem-loyment, but none in uite the same manner.

30ou are at a serious -oint in your career,3 he said. 30ou *illha!e e!ery o--ortunity of rising.3

30es. t se!en in the morning, % su--ose73

3 s-irit of le!ity''3 began )r. Pett.

3% laugh that % may not *ee-,3 e-lained Jimmy. 3Try to think*hat this means to a bright young man *ho loathes *ork. Be kindto me. %nstruct your floor'*alkers to s-eak gently to me atfirst. %t may be a far, far better thing that % do than % ha!ee!er done, but don1t ask me to enjoy it4 %t1s all right for you.0ou1re the boss. ny time you *ant to call it a day and go offand *atch a ball'game, all you ha!e to do is to lea!e *ord thatyou ha!e an urgent date to see )r. $ockerfeller. Whereas % shallha!e to submerge myself in -a-er and only come u- for air *hen



the danger of suffocation becomes too great.3

%t may ha!e been the mention of his fa!ourite game that softened)r. Pett. The frostiness *hich had cre-t into his manner tha*ed.

3%t beats me,3 he said, 3*hy you e!er came o!er at all, if youfeel like that.3

3&uty43 said Jimmy. 3&uty4 There comes a time in the life ofe!ery man *hen he must choose bet*een *hat is -leasant and *hatis right.3

3nd that last fool'game of yours, that (ord Percy Whi--lebusiness, must ha!e made (ondon -retty hot for you73 suggested)r. Pett.

30our e-lanation is less romantic than mine, but there issomething in *hat you say.3

3#ad it occurred to you, young man, that % am taking a chance

-utting a fello* like you to *ork in my office73

3#a!e no fear. The little bit of *ork % shall do *on1t make anydifference.3

3%1!e half a mind to send you straight back to (ondon.3

3"ouldn1t *e com-romise73

3#o*73

3Well, ha!en1t you some snug secretarial job you could -ut meinto7 % ha!e an idea that % should make an ideal secretary.3

3)y secretaries *ork.3

3% get you. "ancel the suggestion.3

)r. Pett rubbed his chin thoughtfully.

30ou -u++le me. nd that1s the truth.3

3l*ays s-eak the truth,3 said Jimmy a--ro!ingly.

3%1m darned if % kno* *hat to do *ith you. Well, you1d bettercome home *ith me no*, any*ay, and meet your aunt, and then *ecan talk things o!er. fter all, the main thing is to kee- you

out of mischief.3

30ou -ut things crudely, but no doubt you are right.3

30ou1ll li!e *ith us, of course.3

3Thank you !ery much. This is the right s-irit.3

3%1ll ha!e to talk to /esta about you. There may he something youcan do.3



3% shouldn1t mind being a -artner,3 suggested Jimmy hel-fully.

3Why don1t you get *ork on a -a-er again7 0ou used to do that*ell.3

3% don1t think my old -a-er *ould *elcome me no*. They regard merather as an entertaining ne*s'item than a *orker.3

3That1s true. 2ay, *hy on earth did you make such a fool ofyourself o!er on the other side7 That breach'of'-romise case *iththe barmaid43 said )r. Pett re-roachfully.

3(et bygones be bygones,3 said Jimmy. 3% *as more sinned againstthan sinning. 0ou kno* ho* it is, uncle Pete43 )r. Pett started!iolently, but said nothing. 30ou try out of -ure goodness ofheart to scatter light and s*eetness and -rotect the -oor*orking'girl''like #ea!en''and brighten u- her lot and so on, andshe turns right around and soaks it to you good4 nd any*ay she*asn1t a barmaid. 2he *orked in a florist1s sho-.3

3% don1t see that that makes any difference.3

3ll the difference in the *orld, all the difference bet*een thesordid and the -oetical. % don1t kno* if you ha!e e!ere-erienced the hy-notic intoication of a florist1s sho-7 Takeit from me, uncle Pete, any girl can look an angel as long as sheis surrounded by choice blooms. % couldn1t hel- myself. % *asn1tres-onsible. % only *oke u- *hen % met her outside. But all thatsort of thing is different no*. % am another man. 2ober, steady,serious'minded43

)r. Pett had taken the recei!er from the tele-hone and *astalking to some one. The bu++ing of a feminine !oice came toJimmy1s ears. )r. Pett hung u- the recei!er.

30our aunt says *e are to come u- at once.3

3%1m ready. nd it *ill be a good ecuse for you to knock off*ork. % bet you1re glad % came4 &oes the carriage a*ait or shall*e take the sub*ay73

3% guess it *ill be uicker to take the sub*ay. 0our aunt1s !erysur-rised that you are here, and !ery -leased.3

3%1m making e!erybody ha--y to'day.3

)r. Pett *as looking at him in a meditati!e *ay. Jimmy caught hiseye.

30ou1re registering something, uncle Pete, and % don1t kno* *hatit is. Why the glance73

3% *as just thinking of something.3

3Jimmy,3 -rom-ted his ne-he*.



3Eh73

3dd the *ord Jimmy to your remarks. %t *ill hel- me to feel athome and enable me to o!ercome my shyness.3

)r. Pett chuckled.

32hyness4 %f % had your ner!e''43 #e broke off *ith a sigh andlooked at Jimmy affectionately. 3What % *as thinking *as thatyou1re a good boy. t least, you1re not, but you1re differentfrom that gang of''of''that cro*d u-'to*n.3

3What cro*d73

30our aunt is literary, you kno*. 2he1s filled the house *ith-oets and that sort of thing. %t *ill be a treat ha!ing youaround. 0ou1re human4 % don1t see that *e1re going to make muchof you no* that you1re here, but %1m darned glad you1!e come,Jimmy43

3Put it there, uncle Pete43 said Jimmy. 30ou1re all right.0ou1re the finest "a-tain of %ndustry % e!er met43

"#PTE$ >%%%

2(%G#T "6)P(%"T%6/2

They left the sub*ay at /inety'sith 2treet and *alked u- the&ri!e. Jimmy, like e!ery one else *ho sa* it for the first time,e-erienced a slight shock at the sight of the Pett mansion, but,rallying, follo*ed his uncle u- the flagged -ath to the frontdoor.

30our aunt *ill be in the dra*ing'room, % guess,3 said )r. Pett,o-ening the door *ith his key.

Jimmy *as looking round him a--reciati!ely. )r. Pett1s housemight be an eyesore from *ithout, but inside it had had thebenefit of the skill of the best interior decorator in /e* 0ork.

3 man could be !ery ha--y in a house like this, if he didn1tha!e to -oison his days *ith *ork,3 said Jimmy.

)r. Pett looked alarmed.

3&on1t go saying anything like that to your aunt43 he urged. 32hethinks you ha!e come to settle do*n.3

32o % ha!e. %1m going to settle do*n like a lim-et. % ho-e %shall be li!ing in luury on you t*enty years from no*. %s thisthe room73

)r. Pett o-ened the dra*ing'room door. small hairy objects-rang from a basket and stood ya--ing in the middle of the room.This *as ida, )rs. Pett1s Pomeranian. )r. Pett, a!oiding the



animal coldly, for he disliked it, ushered Jimmy into the room.

3#ere1s Jimmy "rocker, /esta.3

Jimmy *as a*are of a handsome *oman of middle age, so like hisste-'mother that for an instant his self'-ossession left him andhe stammered.

3#o*''ho* do you do73

#is demeanour made a fa!ourable im-ression on )rs. Pett. 2he tookit for the decent confusion of remorse.

3% *as !ery sur-rised *hen your uncle tele-honed me,3 she said.3% had not the slightest idea that you *ere coming o!er. % am!ery glad to see you.3

3Thank you.3

3This is your cousin, 6gden.3

Jimmy -ercei!ed a fat boy lying on a settee. #e had not risen onJimmy1s entrance, and he did not rise no*. #e did not e!en lo*erthe book he *as reading.

3#ello,3 he said.

Jimmy crossed o!er to the settee, and looked do*n on him. #e hadgot o!er his momentary embarrassment, and, as usual *ith him, thereaction led to a fatal bree+iness. #e -rodded 6gden in his*ell'co!ered ribs, -roducing a yel- of -rotest from thatastounded youth.

32o this is 6gden4 Well, *ell, *ell4 0ou don1t gro* u-, 6gden,but you do gro* out. What are you''a -erfect sity'si73

The fa!ourable im-ression *hich )rs. Pett had formed of herne-he* *aned. 2he *as shocked by this disres-ectful attitudeto*ards the child she *orshi--ed.

3Please do not disturb 6gden, James,3 she said stiffly. 3#e isnot feeling !ery *ell to'day. #is stomach is *eak.3

3Been eating too much73 said Jimmy cheerfully.

3% *as just the same at his age. What he *ants is half rationsand -lenty of eercise.3

32ay43 -rotested 6gden.

3Just look at this,3 -roceeded Jimmy, gras-ing a handful ofsu-erfluous tissue around the boy1s ribs. 3ll that ought to comeoff. %1ll tell you *hat %1ll do. %1ll buy a -air of flanneltrousers and a s*eater and some sneakers, and %1ll take him for arun u- $i!erside &ri!e this e!ening. &o him no end of good. nd agood ski--ing'ro-e, too. /othing like it. %n a cou-le of *eeks%1ll ha!e him as fit as a''3



36gden1s case,3 said )rs. Pett coldly, 3*hich is !erycom-licated, is in the hands of &octor Briginsha*, in *hom *eha!e e!ery confidence.3

There *as a silence, the -aralysing effects of *hich )r. Pett!ainly tried to mitigate by shuffling his feet and coughing.)rs. Pett s-oke.

3% ho-e that, no* that you are here, James, you intend to settledo*n and *ork hard.3

3%ndubitably. (ike a bea!er,3 said Jimmy, mindful of )r. Pett1srecent *arning. 3The only trouble is that there seems to be alittle uncertainty as to *hat % am best fitted for. We talked ito!er in uncle Pete1s office and arri!ed at no conclusion.3

3"an1t you think of anything73 said )r. Pett.

3% looked right through the tele-hone classified directory the

other day''3

3The other day7 But you only landed this morning.3

3% mean this morning. When % *as looking u- your address so that% could go and see you,3 said Jimmy glibly.3 %t seems a long timeago. % think the sight of all those fello*s in your office hasaged me. % think the best -lan *ould be for me to settle do*nhere and learn ho* to be an electrical engineer or something bymail. % *as reading an ad!ertisement in a maga+ine as *e came u-on the sub*ay. % see they guarantee to teach you anything fromsheet metal *orking to -oultry raising. The thing began 10ou arestanding still because you lack training.1 %t seemed to me toa--ly to my case eactly. % had better dro- them a line to'nightasking for a fe* sim-le facts about chickens.3

Whate!er comment )rs. Pett might ha!e made on this suggestion *aschecked by the entrance of nn. 5rom the *indo* of her room nnhad obser!ed the arri!al of Jimmy and her uncle, and no*, ha!ingallo*ed sufficient time to ela-se for the former to make )rs.Pett1s acuaintance, she came do*n to see ho* things *ere going.

2he *as *ell satisfied *ith *hat she sa*. slight strain *hichshe -ercei!ed in the atmos-here she attributed to embarrassmentnatural to the situation.

2he looked at Jimmy enuiringly. )rs. Pett had not informed her

of )r. Pett1s tele-hone call, so Jimmy, she realised, had to bee-lained to her. 2he *aited for some one to say something.

)r. Pett undertook the introduction.

3Jimmy, this is my niece, nn "hester. This is Jimmy "rocker,nn.3

Jimmy could not admire sufficiently the start of sur-rise *hichshe ga!e. %t *as artistic and con!incing.



3Jimmy "rocker43

)r. Pett *as on the -oint of mentioning that this *as not thefirst time nn had met Jimmy, but refrained. fter all, thatinter!ie* had ha--ened fi!e years ago. Jimmy had almost certainlyforgotten all about it. There *as no use in making him feelunnecessarily a*k*ard. %t *as u- to nn. %f she *anted todisinter the ancient grie!ance, let her. %t *as no business ofhis.

3% thought you *eren1t coming o!er43 said nn.

3% changed my mind.3

)r. Pett, *ho had been ga+ing attenti!ely at them, uttered aneclamation.

3%1!e got it4 %1!e been trying all this *hile to think *here it*as that % sa* you before. %t *as on the <tlantic<43

nn caught Jimmy1s eye. 2he *as relie!ed to see that he *as notdisturbed by this sudden de!elo-ment.

3&id you come o!er on the <tlantic<, )r. "rocker73 she said.32urely not7 We crossed on her oursel!es. We should ha!e met.3

3&on1t call me )r. "rocker,3 said Jimmy. 3"all me Jimmy. 0ourmother1s brother1s *ife1s sister1s second husband is my father.Blood is thicker than *ater. /o, % came o!er on the <"aronia<. Wedocked this morning.3

3Well, there *as a fello* just like you on the <tlantic<,3-ersisted )r. Pett.

)rs. Pett said nothing. 2he *as *atching Jimmy *ith a keen andsus-icious eye.

3% su--ose %1m a common ty-e,3 said Jimmy.

30ou remember the man % mean,3 said )r. Pett, innocentlyunconscious of the unfriendly thoughts he *as encouraging in t*oof his hearers. 3#e sat t*o tables a*ay from us at meals. 0ouremember him, /esta73

3s % *as too un*ell to come to meals, % do not.3

3Why, % thought % sa* you once talking to him on deck, nn.3

3$eally73 said nn. 3% don1t remember any one *ho looked at alllike Jimmy.3

3Well,3 said )r. Pett, -u++led. 3%t1s !ery strange. % guess %1m*rong.3 #e looked at his *atch. 3Well, %1ll ha!e to be gettingback to the office.3

3%1ll come *ith you -art of the *ay, uncle Pete,3 said Jimmy. 3%



ha!e to go and arrange for my things to be e-ressed here.3

3Why not -hone to the hotel73 said )r. Pett. %t seemed to Jimmyand nn that he *as doing this sort of thing on -ur-ose. 3Whichhotel did you lea!e them at73

3/o, % shall ha!e to go there. % ha!e some -acking to do.3

30ou *ill be back to lunch73 said nn.

3Thanks. % shan1t be gone more than half an hour.3

5or a moment after they had gone, nn relaed, ha--y andrelie!ed. E!erything had gone s-lendidly. Then a shock ranthrough her *hole system as )rs. Pett s-oke. 2he s-oke ecitedly,in a lo*ered !oice, leaning o!er to nn.

3nn4 &id you notice anything7 &id you sus-ect anything73

nn mastered her emotion *ith an effort.

3Whate!er do you mean, aunt /esta73

3bout that young man, *ho calls himself Jimmy "rocker.3

nn clutched the side of the chair.

3Who calls himself Jimmy "rocker7 % don1t understand.3

nn tried to laugh. %t seemed to her an age before she -roducedany sound at all, and *hen it came it *as uite unlike a laugh.

3What -ut that idea into your head7 2urely, if he says he isJimmy "rocker, it1s rather absurd to doubt him, isn1t it7 #o*could anybody ece-t Jimmy "rocker kno* that you *ere anious toget Jimmy "rocker o!er here7 0ou didn1t tell any one, did you73

This reasoning shook )rs. Pett a little, but she did not intendto abandon a -erfectly good sus-icion merely because it began toseem unreasonable.

3They ha!e their s-ies e!ery*here,3 she said doggedly.

3Who ha!e73

3The 2ecret 2er!ice -eo-le from other countries. (ord Wisbeach*as telling me about it yesterday. #e said that % ought to

sus-ect e!erybody. #e said that an attem-t might be made onWillie1s in!ention at any moment no*.3

3#e *as joking.3

3#e *as not. % ha!e ne!er seen any one so serious. #e said that %ought to regard e!ery fresh -erson *ho came into the house as a-ossible criminal.3

3Well, that guy1s fresh enough,3 muttered 6gden from the settee.



)rs. Pett started.

36gden4 % had forgotten that you *ere there.3 2he uttered a cryof horror, as the fact of his -resence started a ne* train ofthought. 3Why, this man may ha!e come to kidna- you4 % ne!erthought of that.3

nn felt it time to inter!ene. )rs. Pett *as ho!ering much toonear the truth for comfort. 30ou mustn1t imagine things, aunt/esta. % belie!e it comes from *riting the sort of stories youdo. 2urely, it is im-ossible for this man to be an im-ostor. #o**ould he dare take such a risk7 #e must kno* that you coulddetect him at any moment by cabling o!er to )rs. "rocker to askif her ste-'son *as really in merica.3

%t *as a bold stroke, for it suggested a -lan of action *hich, iffollo*ed, *ould mean ruin for her schemes, but nn could notrefrain from chancing it. 2he *anted to kno* *hether her aunt hadany intention of asking )rs. "rocker for information, or *hether

the feud *as too bitter for her -ride to allo* her to communicate*ith her sister in any *ay. 2he breathed again as )rs. Pettstiffened grimly in her chair.

3% should not dream of cabling to Eugenia.3

3% uite understand that,3 said nn. 3But an im-ostor *ould notkno* that you felt like that, *ould he73

3% see *hat you mean.3

nn relaed again. The relief *as, ho*e!er, only momentary.

3% cannot understand, though,3 said )rs. Pett, 3*hy your uncleshould ha!e been so -ositi!e that he sa* this young man on the<tlantic<.3

3Just a chance resemblance, % su--ose. Why, uncle Peter said hesa* the man *hom he imagined *as like Jimmy "rocker talking tome. %f there had been any real resemblance, shouldn1t % ha!e seenit before uncle Peter73

ssistance came from an une-ected uarter.

3% kno* the cha- uncle Peter meant,3 said 6gden. 3#e *asn1t likethis guy at all.3

nn *as too grateful for the hel- to feel astonished at it. #ermind, d*elling for a mere instant on the matter, decided that6gden must ha!e seen her on deck *ith somebody else than Jimmy.2he had certainly not lacked during the !oyage for those *hosought her society.

)rs. Pett seemed to be im-ressed.

3% may be letting my imagination run a*ay *ith me,3 she said.



36f course you are, aunt /esta,3 said nn thankfully. 30ou don1trealise *hat a !i!id imagination you ha!e got. When % *as ty-ingthat last story of yours, % *as sim-ly astounded at the ideas youhad thought of. % remember saying so to uncle Peter. 0ou can1te-ect to ha!e a *onderful imagination like yours and not imaginethings, can you73

)rs. Pett smiled demurely. 2he looked ho-efully at her niece,*aiting for more, but nn had said her say.

30ou are -erfectly right, my dear child,3 she said *hen she *asuite sure the eulogy *as not to be resumed. 3/o doubt % ha!ebeen foolish to sus-ect this young man. But (ord Wisbeach1s *ordsnaturally acted more strongly on a mind like mine than they *ouldha!e done in the case of another *oman.3

36f course,3 said nn.

2he *as feeling uite ha--y no*. %t had been tense *hile it had

lasted, but e!erything *as all right no*.

3nd, fortunately,3 said )rs. Pett, 3there is a *ay by *hich *ecan find out for certain if the young man is really James"rocker.3

nn became rigid again.

3 *ay7 What *ay73

3Why, don1t you remember, my dear, that 2kinner has kno*n James"rocker for years.3

32kinner73

The name sounded familiar, but in the stress of the moment nncould not identify it.

3)y ne* butler. #e came to me straight from Eugenia. %t *as he*ho let us in *hen *e called at her house. /obody could kno*better than he *hether this -erson is really James "rocker ornot.3

nn felt as if she had struggled to the limit of her endurance.2he *as not -re-ared to co-e *ith this une-ected blo*. 2he hadnot the strength to rally under it. &ully she -ercei!ed that herschemes must be dismissed as a failure before they had had a

chance of success. #er accom-lice must not return to the house tobe e-osed. 2he sa* that clearly enough. %f he came back, he*ould *alk straight into a tra-. 2he rose uickly. 2he must *arnhim. 2he must interce-t him before he arri!ed''and he mightarri!e at any moment no*.

36f course,3 she said, steadying herself *ith an effort, 3% ne!erthought of that. That makes it all sim-le. . . . % ho-e lunch*on1t be late. %1m hungry.3



2he sauntered to the door, but, directly she had closed it behindher, ran to her room, snatched u- a hat, and rushed do*nstairsand out into $i!erside &ri!e. Just as she reached the street,Jimmy turned the corner. 2he ran to*ards him, holding u- herhands.

"#PTE$ >%=

(6$& W%2BE"#

Jimmy halted in his tracks. The a--arition had startled him. #ehad been thinking of nn, but he had not e-ected her to boundout at him, *a!ing her arms.

3What1s the matter73 he enuired.

nn -ulled him to*ards a side'street.

30ou mustn1t go to the house. E!erything has gone *rong.3

3E!erything gone *rong7 % thought % had made a hit. % ha!e *ithyour uncle, any*ay. We -arted on the friendliest terms. We ha!earranged to go to the ball'game together to'morro*. #e is goingto tell them at the office that "arnegie *ants to see him.3

3%t isn1t uncle Peter. %t1s aunt /esta.3

3h, there you touch my conscience. % *as a little tactless, %1mafraid, *ith 6gden. %t ha--ened before you came into the room. %su--ose that is the trouble73

3%t has nothing do *ith that,3 said nn im-atiently. 3%t1s much*orse. unt /esta is sus-icious. 2he has guessed that you aren1treally Jimmy "rocker.3

3Great 2cott4 #o*73

3% tried to calm her do*n, but she still sus-ects. 2o no* she hasdecided to *ait and see if 2kinner, the butler, kno*s you. %f hedoesn1t, she *ill kno* that she *as right.3

Jimmy *as frankly -u++led.

3% don1t uite follo* the reasoning. 2urely it1s a -eculiar kindof test. Why should she think a man cannot be honest and true

unless her butler kno*s him7 There must be hundreds of *orthyciti+ens *hom he does not kno*.3

32kinner arri!ed from England a fe* days ago. ntil then he *asem-loyed by )rs. "rocker. /o* do you understand73

Jimmy sto--ed. 2he had s-oken slo*ly and distinctly, and therecould be no -ossibility that he had misunderstood her, yet hescarcely belie!ed that he had heard her aright. #o* could a mannamed 2kinner ha!e been his ste-'mother1s butler7 Bayliss had



been *ith the family e!er since they had arri!ed in (ondon.

3re you sure73

36f course, of course %1m sure. unt /esta told me herself. Therecan1t -ossibly be a mistake, because it *as 2kinner *ho let herin *hen she called on )rs. "rocker. ncle Peter told me about it.#e had a talk *ith the man in the hall and found that he *as abaseball enthusiast''3

*ild, im-ossible idea flashed u-on Jimmy. %t *as so absurd thathe felt ashamed of entertaining it e!en for a moment. But strangethings *ere ha--ening these times, and it might be . . .

3What sort of looking man is 2kinner73

36h, stout, clean'sha!en. % like him. #e1s much more human than %thought butlers e!er *ere. Why73

36h, nothing.3

36f course, you can1t go back to the house. 0ou see that7 #e*ould say that you aren1t Jimmy "rocker and then you *ould bearrested.3

3% don1t see that. %f % am sufficiently like "rocker for hisfriends to mistake me for him in restaurants, *hy shouldn1t thisbutler mistake me, too73

3But''73

3nd, consider. %n any case, there1s no harm done. %f he fails torecognise me *hen he o-ens the door to us, *e shall kno* that thegame is u-: and % shall ha!e -lenty of time to disa--ear. %f thelikeness decei!es him, all *ill be *ell. % -ro-ose that *e go tothe house, ring the bell, and *hen he a--ears, % *ill say 1h,2kinner4 #onest fello*41 or *ords to that effect. #e *ill eitherstare blankly at me or fa*n on me like a faithful *atchdog. We*ill base our further actions on *hich *ay the butler jum-s.3

The sound of the bell died a*ay. 5ootste-s *ere heard. nnreached for Jimmy1s arm and''clutched it.

3/o*43 she *his-ered.

The door o-ened. /et moment Jimmy1s sus-icion *as confirmed.Ga-ing at them from the o-en door*ay, *onderfully res-ectable and

butlerlike in s*allo*'tails, stood his father. #o* he came to bethere, and *hy he *as there, Jimmy did not kno*. But there he*as.

Jimmy had little faith in his father1s talents as a man ofdiscretion. The elder "rocker *as one of those sim-le, straightfor*ard -eo-le *ho, *hen sur-rised, do not conceal theirsur-rise, and *ho, not understanding any situation in *hich theyfind themsel!es, demand e-lanation on the s-ot. 2*ift andimmediate action *as indicated on his -art before his ama+ed



-arent, finding him on the ste-s of the one house in /e* 0ork*here he *as least likely to be, should utter *ords that *ouldundo e!erything. #e could see the name Jimmy trembling on )r."rocker1s li-s.

#e *a!ed his hand cheerily.

3h, 2kinner, there you are43 he said bree+ily. 3)iss "hester *astelling me that you had left my ste-'mother. % su--ose you sailedon the boat before mine. % came o!er on the <"aronia<. % su--oseyou didn1t e-ect to see me again so soon, eh73

s-asm seemed to -ass o!er )r. "rocker1s face, lea!ing it calmand serene. #e had been thro*n his cue, and like the old actor he*as he took it easily and *ithout confusion. #e smiled ares-ectful smile.

3/o, indeed, sir.3

#e ste--ed aside to allo* them to enter. Jimmy caught nn1s eye

as she -assed him. %t shone *ith relief and admiration, and it

ehilarated Jimmy like *ine. s she mo!ed to*ards the stairs, hega!e e-ression to his satisfaction by sla--ing his father on theback *ith a re-ort that rang out like a -istol shot.

3What *as that73 said nn, turning.

32omething out on the &ri!e, % think,3 said Jimmy. 3 carback'firing, % fancy, 2kinner.3

3=ery -robably, sir.3

#e follo*ed nn to the stairs. s he started to mount them, afaint *his-er reached his ears.

31t'a'boy43

%t *as )r. "rocker1s *ay of besto*ing a father1s blessing.

nn *alked into the dra*ing'room, her head high, trium-h in theglance *hich she cast u-on her unconscious aunt.

38uite an interesting little scene do*nstairs, aunt /esta,3 shesaid. 3The meeting of the faithful old retainer and the young

master. 2kinner *as almost o!ercome *ith sur-rise and joy *hen he

sa* Jimmy43

)rs. Pett could not check an incautious eclamation.

3&id 2kinner recognise''73 she began9 then sto--ed herselfabru-tly.

nn laughed.

3&id he recognise Jimmy7 6f course4 #e *as hardly likely to ha!e



forgotten him, surely7 %t isn1t much more than a *eek since he*as *aiting on him in (ondon.3

3%t *as a !ery im-ressi!e meeting,3 said Jimmy. 3$ather like thereunion of lysses and the hound rgos, of *hich this bright'eyedchild here''3 he -atted 6gden on the head, a -roceeding !iolentlyresented by that youth''3has no doubt read in the course of hisresearches into the "lassics. % *as lysses, 2kinner enacted therole of the euberant dog.3

)rs. Pett *as not sure *hether she *as relie!ed or disa--ointedat this e!idence that her sus-icions had been *ithout foundation.6n the *hole, relief may be said to ha!e -re-onderated.

3% ha!e no doubt he *as -leased to see you again. #e must ha!ebeen !ery much astonished.3

3#e *as43

30ou *ill be meeting another old friend in a minute or t*o,3 said

)rs. Pett.

Jimmy had been sinking into a chair. This remark sto--ed him inmid'descent.

3nother43

)rs. Pett glanced at the clock.

3(ord Wisbeach is coming to lunch.3

3(ord Wisbeach43 cried nn. 3#e doesn1t kno* Jimmy.3

3Eugenia informed me in (ondon that he *as one of your bestfriends, James.3

nn looked hel-lessly at Jimmy. 2he *as conscious again of thatfeeling of not being able to co-e *ith 5ate1s blo*s, of notha!ing the strength to go on climbing o!er the barriers *hich5ate -laced in her -ath.

Jimmy, for his -art, *as cursing the ill fortune that had brought(ord Wisbeach across his -ath. #e sa* clearly that it only neededrecognition by one or t*o more intimates of Jimmy "rocker to makenn sus-ect his real identity. The fact that she had seen him*ith Bayliss in Paddington 2tation and had fallen into the errorof su--osing Bayliss to be his father had ke-t her from

sus-ecting until no*9 but this could not last fore!er. #eremembered (ord Wisbeach *ell, as a garrulous, irre-ressiblechatterer *ho *ould -robably talk about old times to such anetent as to cause nn to realise the truth in the first fi!eminutes.

The door o-ened.

3(ord Wisbeach,3 announced )r. "rocker.



3%1m afraid %1m late, )rs. Pett,3 said his lordshi-.

3/o. 0ou1re uite -unctual. (ord Wisbeach, here is an old friendof yours, James "rocker.3

There *as an almost im-erce-tible -ause. Then Jimmy ste--edfor*ard and held out his hand.

3#ello, Wi++y, old man43

3#'hello, Jimmy43

Their eyes met. %n his lordshi-1s there *as an e-ression ofunmistakable relief, mingled *ith astonishment. #is face, *hichhad turned a sickly *hite, flushed as the blood -oured back intoit. #e had the a--earance of a man *ho had had a bad shock and isjust getting o!er it. Jimmy, eyeing him curiously, *as notsur-rised at his emotion. What the man1s game might be, he couldnot say9 but of one thing he *as sure, *hich *as that this *asnot (ord Wisbeach, but''on the contrary''some one he had ne!er

seen before in his life.

3(uncheon is ser!ed, madam43 said )r. "rocker sonorously from thedoor*ay.

"#PTE$ >=

(%TT(E B2%/E22 "#T

%t *as not often that nn found occasion to rejoice at the-resence in her uncle1s house of the si geniuses *hom )rs. Petthad installed therein. s a rule, she disliked them indi!iduallyand collecti!ely. But to'day their com-any *as etraordinarily*elcome to her. They might ha!e their faults, but at least their-resence tended to kee- the con!ersation general and -re!ent itbecoming a duologue bet*een (ord Wisbeach and Jimmy on thesubject of old times. 2he *as still feeling *eak from thereaction conseuent u-on the slackening of the tension of heremotions on seeing (ord Wisbeach greet Jimmy as an oldacuaintance. 2he had ne!er ho-ed that that barrier *ould besurmounted. 2he had -ictured (ord Wisbeach dra*ing back *ith a-u++led fro*n on his face and an astonished 3But this is notJimmy "rocker.3 The strain had left her relie!ed, but in no moodfor con!ersation, and she re-lied absently to the remarks of#o*ard Bemis, the -oet, *ho sat on her left. 2he looked round the

table. Willie Partridge *as talking to )rs. Pett about thedifference bet*een -icric acid and trinitrotoluene, than *hich a-leasanter to-ic for the luncheon table could hardly be selected,and the !oice of "larence $ensha* rose abo!e all other com-etingnoises, as he s-oke of the functions of the trochaic s-ondee.There *as nothing out*ardly to distinguish this meal from anyother *hich she had shared of late in that house.

The only thing that -re!ented her relief being unmied *as thefact that she could see (ord Wisbeach casting furti!e glances at



Jimmy, *ho *as eating *ith the uiet concentration of one *ho,after days of boarding'house fare, finds himself in the -resenceof the master-ieces of a chef. %n the -ast fe* days Jimmy hadconsumed too much hash to *orry no* about anything like a furti!eglance. #e had -ercei!ed (ord Wisbeach1s ro!ing eye, and had nodoubt that at the conclusion of the meal he *ould find occasionfor a little chat. )ean*hile, ho*e!er, his duty *as to*ards histissues and their restoration. #e hel-ed himself liberally from adish *hich his father offered him.

#e became a*are that )rs. Pett *as addressing him.

3% beg your -ardon73

38uite like old times,3 said )rs. Pett genially. #er sus-icionshad !anished com-letely since (ord Wisbeach1s recognition of the!isitor, and remorse that she should ha!e sus-ected him made herun*ontedly amiable. 3Being *ith 2kinner again,3 she e-lained.3%t must remind you of (ondon.3

Jimmy caught his father1s e-ressionless eye.

32kinner1s,3 he said handsomely, 3is a character one cannot hel-but res-ect. #is nature e-ands before one like some beautifulflo*er.3

The dish rocked in )r. "rocker1s hand, but his face remainedim-assi!e.

3There is no !ice in 2kinner,3 -roceeded Jimmy. 3#is heart is theheart of a little child.3

)rs. Pett looked at this -aragon of the !irtues in rather astartled *ay. 2he had an uncomfortable feeling that she *as beinglaughed at. 2he began to dislike Jimmy again.

35or many years 2kinner has been a father to me,3 said Jimmy.3Who ran to hel- me *hen % fell, nd *ould some -retty storytell, 6r kiss the -lace to make it *ell7 2kinner.3

5or all her sus-ense, nn could not hel- *arming to*ards anaccom-lice *ho carried off an unner!ing situation *ith such aflourish. 2he had al*ays regarded herself *ith a fair degree ofcom-lacency as -ossessed of no mean stock of courage andresource, but she could not ha!e s-oken then *ithout betrayingher aniety. 2he thought highly of Jimmy, but all the same shecould not hel- *ishing that he *ould not make himself uite so

cons-icuous. Perha-s''the thought chilled her''-erha-s he *ascreating uite a ne* Jimmy "rocker, a character *hich *ould cause2kinner and (ord Wisbeach to doubt the e!idence of their eyes andbegin to sus-ect the truth. 2he *ished she could *arn him tosimmer do*n, but the table *as a large one and he and she *ere ato--osite ends of it.

Jimmy, mean*hile, *as thoroughly enjoying himself. #e felt thathe *as being the little ray of sunshine about the home and makinga good im-ression. #e *as com-letely ha--y. #e liked the food, he



liked seeing his father buttle, and he liked these ama+ing freaks*ho *ere, it a--eared, fello*'inmates *ith him of this highlydesirable residence. #e *ished that old )r. Pett could ha!e been-resent. #e had concei!ed a great affection for )r. Pett, andregistered a mental resol!e to lose no time in *eaning him fromhis distressing habit of allo*ing the office to interfere *ithhis -leasures. #e *as -lanning a little tri- to the Polo Grounds,in *hich )r. Pett, his father, and a number of -o- bottles *ereto be his com-anions, *hen his re!erie *as interru-ted by asudden cessation of the bu++ of talk. #e looked u- from his-late, to find the entire com-any regarding Willie Partridgeo-en'mouthed. Willie, *ith gleaming eyes, *as ga+ing at a smalltest'tube *hich he had -roduced from his -ocket and -laced besidehis -late.

3% ha!e enough in this test'tube,3 said Willie airily, 3to blo*half /e* 0ork to bits.3

The silence *as broken by a crash in the background. )r. "rockerhad dro--ed a chafing'dish.

3%f % *ere to dro- this little tube like that,3 said Willie,using the occurrence as a to-ical illustration, 3*e shouldn1t behere.3

3&on1t dro- it,3 ad!ised Jimmy. 3What is it73

3Partridgite43

)rs. Pett had risen from the table, *ith blanched face.

3Willie, ho* can you bring that stuff here7 What are you thinkingof73

Willie smiles a -atronising smile.

3There is not the slightest danger, aunt /esta. %t cannot e-lode*ithout concussion. % ha!e been carrying it about *ith me all themorning.3

#e besto*ed on the test'tube the look a fond -arent might gi!ehis fa!ourite child. )rs. Pett *as not reassured.

3Go and -ut it in your uncle1s safe at once. Put it a*ay.3

3% ha!en1t the combination.3

3"all your uncle u- at once at the office and ask him.3

3=ery *ell. %f you *ish it, aunt /esta. But there is no danger.3

3&on1t take that thing *ith you,3 screamed )rs. Pett, as he rose.30ou might dro- it. "ome back for it.3

3=ery *ell.3

"on!ersation flagged after Willie1s de-arture. The -resence of



the test'tube seemed to act on the s-irits of the com-any afterthe fashion of the cor-se at the Egy-tian banuet. #o*ard Bemis,*ho *as sitting net to it, edged a*ay im-erce-tibly till henearly cro*ded nn off her chair. Presently Willie returned. #e-icked u- the test'tube, -ut it in his -ocket *ith a certainjauntiness, and left the room again.

3/o*, if you hear a sudden bang and find yourself disa--earingthrough the roof,3 said Jimmy, 3that *ill be it.3

Willie returned and took his -lace at the table again. But thes-irit had gone out of the gathering. The !oice of "larence$ensha* *as hushed, and #o*ard Bemis s-oke no more of theinfluence of Edgar (ee )asters on modern literature. )rs. Pettleft the room, follo*ed by nn. The geniuses drifted a*ay one byone. Jimmy, ha!ing lighted a cigarette and finished his coffee,-ercei!ed that he *as alone *ith his old friend, (ord Wisbeach,and that his old friend (ord Wisbeach *as about to becomeconfidential.

The fair'haired young man o-ened the -roceedings by going to thedoor and looking out. This done, he returned to his seat andga+ed fiedly at Jimmy.

3What1s your game73 he asked.

Jimmy returned his ga+e blandly.

3)y game73 he said. 3What do you mean73

3"an the coy stuff,3 urged his lordshi- brusuely. 3Talk senseand talk it uick. We may be interru-ted at any moment. What1syour game7 What are you here for73

Jimmy raised his eyebro*s.

3% am a -rodigal ne-he* returned to the fold.3

36h, uit your kidding. re you one of Potter1s lot73

3Who is Potter73

30ou kno* *ho Potter is.3

36n the contrary. )y life has ne!er been brightened by so much asa sight of Potter.3

3%s that true73

3bsolutely.3

3re you *orking on your o*n, then73

3% am not *orking at all at -resent. There is some talk of mylearning to be an s-aragus djuster by mail later on.3

30ou make me sick,3 said (ord Wisbeach. 3Where1s the sense of



trying to -ull this line of talk. Why not -ut your cards on thetable7 We1!e both got in here on the same lay, and there1s no usefighting and balling the thing u-.3

3&o you *ish me to understand,3 said Jimmy, 3that you are not myold friend, (ord Wisbeach73

3/o. nd you1re not my old friend, Jimmy "rocker.3

3What makes you think that73

3%f you had been, *ould you ha!e -retended to recognise meu-stairs just no*7 % tell you, -al, % *as all in for a second,till you ga!e me the high sign.3

Jimmy laughed.

3%t *ould ha!e been a*k*ard for you if % really had been Jimmy"rocker, *ouldn1t it73

3nd it *ould ha!e been a*k*ard for you if % had really been (ordWisbeach.3

3Who are you, by the *ay73

3The boys call me Gentleman Jack.3

3Why73 asked Jimmy, sur-rised.

(ord Wisbeach ignored the uestion.

3%1m *orking *ith Burke1s lot just no*. 2ay, let1s be sensibleabout this. %1ll be straight *ith you, straight as a string.3

3&id you say string or s-ring73

3nd %1ll e-ect you to be straight *ith me.3

3re *e to breathe confidences into each other1s ears73

(ord Wisbeach *ent to the door again and submitted the -assage toa second eamination.

30ou seem ner!ous,3 said Jimmy.

3% don1t like that butler. #e1s u- to something.3

3&o you think he1s one of Potter1s lot73

32houldn1t *onder. #e isn1t on the le!el, any*ay, or *hy did he-retend to recognise you as Jimmy "rocker73

3$ecognition of me as Jimmy "rocker seems to be the acid test ofhonesty.3

3#e *as in a tight -lace, same as % *as,3 said (ord Wisbeach. 3#ecouldn1t kno* that you *eren1t really Jimmy "rocker until you -ut



him *ise''same as you did me''by -retending to kno* him.3 #elooked at Jimmy *ith grudging admiration. 30ou1d got your ner!e*ith you, -al, coming in here like this. 0ou *ere taking bigchances. 0ou couldn1t ha!e kno*n you *ouldn1t run u- against someone *ho really kne* Jimmy "rocker. What *ould you ha!e done ifthis butler guy had really been on the le!el73

3The risks of the -rofession43

3When % think of the *ork % had to -ut in,3 said (ord Wisbeach,3it makes me tired to think of some one else just *alking in hereas you did.3

3What made you choose (ord Wisbeach as your alias73

3% kne* that % could get a*ay *ith it. % came o!er on the boat*ith him, and % kne* he *as tra!elling round the *orld and *asn1tgoing to stay more than a day in /e* 0ork. E!en then % had to gosome to get into this -lace. Burke told me to get hold of old"hester and get a letter of introduction from him. nd here you

come along and just stroll in and tell them you ha!e come tostay43 #e brooded for a moment on the injustice of things.3Well, *hat are you going to do about it, Pal73

3bout *hat73

3bout us both being here7 re you going to be sensible and *orkin *ith me and di!!y u- later on, or are you going to risks-oiling e!erything by trying to hog the *hole thing7 %1ll besuare *ith you. %t isn1t as if there *as any use in trying tobluff each other. We1re both here for the same thing. 0ou *ant toget hold of that -o*der stuff, that Partridgite, and so do %.3

30ou belie!e in Partridgite, then73

36h, can it,3 said (ord Wisbeach disgustedly. 3What1s the use76f course % belie!e in it. Burke1s had his eye on the thing for ayear. 0ou1!e heard of &*ight Partridge, ha!en1t you7 Well, thisguy1s his son. E!ery one kno*s that &*ight Partridge *as *orkingon an e-losi!e *hen he died, and here1s his son comes along *itha test'tube full of stuff *hich he says could blo* this city tobits. What1s the ans*er7 The boy1s been *orking on the old man1sdo-e. 5rom *hat %1!e seen of him, % guess there *asn1t much moreto be done on it, or he *ouldn1t ha!e done it. #e1s -retty *elldead from the neck u-, as far as % can see. But that doesn1talter the fact that he1s got the stuff and that you and % ha!egot to get together and make a deal. %f *e don1t, %1m not saying

you mightn1t gum my game, just as % might gum yours9 but *here1sthe sense in that7 %t only means taking etra chances. Whereas if*e sit in together, there1s enough in it for both of us. 0ou kno*as *ell as % do that there1s a do+en markets *hich1ll bid againsteach other for stuff like that Partridgite. %f you1re *orryingabout Burke gi!ing you a suare deal, forget it. %1ll fi Burke.#e1ll treat you nice, all right.3

Jimmy ground the butt of his cigarette against his -late.



3%1m no orator, as Brutus is9 but, as you kno* me all, a -lain,blunt man. nd, s-eaking in the ca-acity of a -lain, blunt man, %rise to re-ly''/othing doing.3

3What7 0ou *on1t come in73

Jimmy shook his head.

3%1m sorry to disa--oint you, Wi++y, if % may still call youthat, but your offer fails to attract. % *ill not get together orsit in or anything else. 6n the contrary, % am about to go to)rs. Pett and inform her that there is a snake in her Eden.3

30ou1re not going to sueal on me73

3t the to- of my !oice.3

(ord Wisbeach laughed un-leasantly.

30es, you *ill,3 he said. 3#o* are you going to e-lain *hy you

recognised me as an old -al before lunch if %1m a crook afterlunch. 0ou can1t gi!e me a*ay *ithout gi!ing yourself a*ay. %f%1m not (ord Wisbeach, then you1re not Jimmy "rocker.3

Jimmy sighed. 3% get you. (ife is !ery com-le, isn1t it73

(ord Wisbeach rose.

30ou1d better think it o!er, son,3 he said. 30ou aren1t going toget any*here by acting like a fool. 0ou can1t sto- me going afterthis stuff, and if you *on1t come in and go fifty'fifty, you1llfind yourself left. %1ll beat you to it.3

#e left the room, and Jimmy, lighting a fresh cigarette,addressed himself to the contem-lation of this ne* com-licationin his affairs. %t *as uite true *hat Gentleman Jack or Joe or*hate!er the 3boys3 called him had said. To denounce him meantdenouncing himself. Jimmy smoked thoughtfully. /ot for the firsttime he *ished that his record during the -ast fe* years had beenof a sno*ier character. #e began to a--reciate *hat must ha!ebeen the feelings of &r. Jekyll under the handica- of hisdisre-utable second self, )r. #yde.

"#PTE$ >=%

)$2. PETT T;E2 P$E"T%6/2

)rs. Pett, on lea!ing the luncheon'table, had returned to thedra*ing'room to sit beside the sick'settee of her stricken child.2he *as troubled about 6gden. The -oor lamb *as not at allhimself to'day. bo*l of clear sou-, the midday meal -rescribedby &octor Briginsha*, lay untasted at his side.

2he crossed the room softly, and -laced a cool hand on her son1saching bro*.



36h, Gee,3 said 6gden *earily.

3re you feeling a little better, 6ggie darling73

3/o,3 said 6gden firmly. 3%1m feeling a lot *orse.3

30ou ha!en1t drunk your nice sou-.3

35eed it to the cat.3

3"ould you eat a nice bo*l of bread'and'milk, -recious73

3#a!e a heart,3 re-lied the sufferer.

)rs. Pett returned to her seat, sorro*fully. %t struck her as anodd coincidence that the -oor child *as nearly al*ays like thison the morning after she had been entertaining guests9 she -ut itdo*n to the reaction from the ecitement *orking on ahighly'strung tem-erament. To his -resent colla-se the brutal

beha!iour of Jerry )itchell had, of course, contributed. E!erydro- of her maternal blood boiled *ith rage and horror *hene!ershe -ermitted herself to contem-late the ecesses of the lateJerry. 2he had al*ays mistrusted the man. 2he had ne!er liked hisface''not merely on aesthetic grounds but because she had seemedto detect in it a lurking sa!agery. #o* right e!ents had -ro!edthis instincti!e feeling. )rs. Pett *as not !ulgar enough todescribe the feeling, e!en to herself, as a hunch, but a hunch ithad been9 and, like e!ery one *hose hunches ha!e -ro!ed correct,she *as conscious in the midst of her grief of a certaincom-lacency. %t seemed to her that hers must be an intelligenceand insight abo!e the ordinary.

The -eace of the early afternoon settled u-on the dra*ing'room.)rs. Pett had taken u- a book9 6gden, on the settee, breathedstentorously. 5aint snores -roceeded from the basket in thecorner *here ida, the Pomeranian, lay curled in refreshingslee-. Through the o-en *indo* floated sounds of *armth and2ummer.

0ielding to the dro*sy calm, )rs. Pett *as just nodding into a-leasant na-, *hen the door o-ened and (ord Wisbeach came in.

(ord Wisbeach had been doing some ra-id thinking. $a-id thoughtis one of the essentials in the com-osition of men *ho are kno*nas Gentleman Jack to the boys and *hose li!elihood is *on only bya series of arduous struggles against the forces of 2ociety and

the machinations of Potter and his gang. "ondensed into ca-suleform, his lordshi-1s meditations during the minutes after he hadleft Jimmy in the dining'room amounted to the realisation thatthe best mode of defence is attack. %t is your man *ho kno*s ho*to -lay the bold game on occasion *ho *ins. duller schemer than(ord Wisbeach might ha!e been content to be inacti!e after such acon!ersation as had just taken -lace bet*een himself and Jimmy.#is lordshi-, gi!ing the matter the concentrated attention of histrained mind, had hit on a better -lan, and he had come to thedra*ing'room no* to -ut it into effect.



#is entrance shattered the -eaceful atmos-here. ida, *ho hadbeen gurgling a-o-lectically, s-rang snarling from the basket,and made for the intruder o-en'mouthed. #er shrill barking rangthrough the room.

(ord Wisbeach hated little dogs. #e hated and feared them. )anymen of action ha!e these idiosyncrasies. #e got behind a chairand said 3There, there.3 ida, *hose outburst *as mere sound andfury and *ho had no intention *hate!er of coming to blo*s,continued the demonstration from a safe distance, till )rs. Pett,s*oo-ing do*n, -icked her u- and held her in her la-, *here sheconsented to remain, gro*ling subdued defiance. (ord Wisbeachcame out from behind his chair and sat do*n *arily.

3"an % ha!e a *ord *ith you, )rs. Pett73

3"ertainly, (ord Wisbeach.3

#is lordshi- looked meaningly at 6gden.

3%n -ri!ate, you kno*.3

#e then looked meaningly at )rs. Pett.

36gden darling,3 said )rs. Pett, 3% think you had better go toyour room and undress and get into bed. little nice slee- mightdo you all the good in the *orld.3

With sur-rising docility, the boy rose.

3ll right,3 he said.

3Poor 6ggie is not at all *ell to'day,3 said )rs. Pett, *hen he*as gone. 3#e is !ery subject to these attacks. What do you *antto tell me, (ord Wisbeach73

#is lordshi- dre* his chair a little closer.

3)rs. Pett, you remember *hat % told you yesterday73

36f course.3

3)ight % ask *hat you kno* of this man *ho has come here callinghimself Jimmy "rocker73

)rs. Pett started. 2he remembered that she had used almost that

!ery e-ression to nn. #er sus-icions, *hich had been lulled bythe -rom-t recognition of the !isitor by 2kinner and (ordWisbeach, returned. %t is one of the effects of a successfulhunch that it breeds other hunches. 2he had been right aboutJerry )itchell9 *as she to be -ro!ed right about the self'styledJimmy "rocker7

30ou ha!e seen your ne-he*, % belie!e73

3/e!er. But''3



3That man,3 said (ord Wisbeach im-assi!ely, 3is not your ne-he*.3

)rs. Pett thrilled all do*n her s-ine. 2he had been right.

3But you''3

3But % -retended to recognise him7 Just so. 5or a -ur-ose. %*anted to make him think that % sus-ected nothing.3

3Then you think''73

3$emember *hat % said to you yesterday.3

3But 2kinner''the butler''recognised him73

3Eactly. %t goes to -ro!e that *hat % said about 2kinner *ascorrect. They are *orking together. The thing is self'e!ident.(ook at it from your -oint of !ie*. #o* sim-le it is. This man-retends to an intimate acuaintance *ith 2kinner. 0ou take that

as e!idence of 2kinner1s honesty. 2kinner recognises this man.0ou take that as -roof that this man is really your ne-he*. Thefact that 2kinner recognised as Jimmy "rocker a man *ho is notJimmy "rocker condemns him.3

3But *hy did you''73

3% told you that % -retended to acce-t this man as the real Jimmy"rocker for a -ur-ose. t -resent there is nothing that you cando. )ere im-ersonation is not a crime. %f % had e-osed him *hen*e met, you *ould ha!e gained nothing beyond dri!ing him from thehouse. Whereas, if *e *ait, if *e -retend to sus-ect nothing, *eshall undoubtedly catch him red'handed in an attem-t on yourne-he*1s in!ention.3

30ou are sure that that is *hy he has come73

3What other reason could he ha!e73

3% thought he might be trying to kidna- 6gden.3

(ord Wisbeach fro*ned thoughtfully. #e had not taken thisconsideration into account.

3%t is -ossible,3 he said. 3There ha!e been se!eral attem-tsmade, ha!e there not, to kidna- your son73

3t one time,3 said )rs. Pett -roudly, 3there *as not a child inmerica *ho had to be more closely guarded. Why, the kidna--ershad a s-ecial nick'name for 6ggie. They called him the (ittle/ugget.3

36f course, then, it is uite -ossible that that may be the man1s

object. %n any case, our course must be the same. We must *atche!ery mo!e he makes.3 #e -aused. 3% could hel-''-ardon mysuggesting it''% could hel- a great deal more if you *ere to



in!ite me to li!e in the house. 0ou *ere kind enough to ask me to!isit you in the country, but it *ill be t*o *eeks before you goto the "ountry, and in those t*o *eeks''3

30ou must come here at once, (ord Wisbeach. To'night. To'day.3

3% think that *ould be the best -lan.3

3% cannot tell you ho* grateful % am for all you are doing.3

30ou ha!e been so kind to me, )rs. Pett,3 said (ord Wisbeach *ithfeeling, 3that it is surely only right that % should try to makesome return. (et us lea!e it at this then. % *ill come hereto'night and *ill make it my business to *atch these t*o men. %*ill go and -ack my things and ha!e them sent here.3

3%t is *onderful of you, (ord Wisbeach.3

3/ot at all,3 re-lied his lordshi-. 3%t *ill be a -leasure.3

#e held out his hand, dra*ing it back ra-idly as the dog idamade a sna- at it. 2ubstituting a long'range lea!e'taking for themore intimate fare*ell, he left the room.

When he had gone, )rs. Pett remained for some minutes, thinking.2he *as aflame *ith ecitement. 2he had a sensational mind, andit had absorbed (ord Wisbeach1s re!elations eagerly. #eradmiration for his lordshi- *as intense, and she trusted himutterly. The only doubt that occurred to her *as *hether, *iththe best intentions in the *orld, he *ould be able unassisted tofoil a -air of schemers so distant from each other geogra-hicallyas the man *ho called himself Jimmy "rocker and the man *ho hadcalled himself 2kinner. That *as a -oint on *hich they had nottouched, the fact that one im-ostor *as abo!e stairs, the otherbelo*. %t seemed to )rs. Pett im-ossible that (ord Wisbeach, forall his +eal, could *atch 2kinner *ithout neglecting Jimmy orfoil Jimmy *ithout taking his attention off 2kinner. %t *asmanifestly a situation that called for allies. 2he felt that shemust ha!e further assistance.

To )rs. Pett, doubtless o*ing to her hobby of *riting sensationalfiction, there *as a magic in the *ord detecti!e *hich *as sharedby no other *ord in the language. 2he lo!ed detecti!es''theirkeen eyes, their uiet smiles, their &erby hats. When they cameon the stage, she leaned for*ard in her orchestra chair9 *henthey entered her o*n stories, she al*ays *rote *ith a greater+est. %t is not too much to say that she had an almost s-iritual

attachment for detecti!es, and the idea of neglecting to em-loyone in real life, no* that circumstances had combined to renderhis ad!ent so necessary, struck her as both rash and inartistic.%n the old days, *hen 6gden had been kidna--ed, the only thing*hich had brought her balm had been the daily inter!ie*s *ith thedetecti!es. 2he ached to tele-hone for one no*.

The only consideration that ke-t her back *as a regard for (ordWisbeach1s feelings. #e had been so kind and so shre*d that tosuggest reinforcing him *ith outside assistance must infallibly



*ound him dee-ly. nd yet the situation demanded the ser!ices ofa trained s-ecialist. (ord Wisbeach had borne himself duringtheir recent con!ersation in such a manner as to lea!e no doubtthat he considered himself adeuate to deal *ith the mattersingle'handed: but admirable though he *as he *as not a-rofessional e-onent of the art of es-ionage. #e needed to behel-ed in s-ite of himself.

ha--y solution struck )rs. Pett. There *as no need to tell him.2he could combine the installation of a detecti!e *ith the nicestres-ect for her ally1s feelings by the sim-le -rocess of engagingone *ithout telling (ord Wisbeach anything about it.

The tele-hone stood at her elbo*, concealed''at the e-ressreuest of the interior decorator *ho had designed the room''inthe interior of *hat looked to the casual eye like a stuffed o*l.6n a table near at hand, handsomely bound in morocco to resemblea com-lete *orks of 2hakes-eare, *as the tele-hone book. )rs.Pett hesitated no longer. 2he had forgotten the address of thedetecti!e agency *hich she had em-loyed on the occasion of the

kidna--ing of 6gden, but she remembered the name, and also thename of the delightfully sym-athetic manager or -ro-rietor or*hate!er he *as *ho had listened to her troubles then.

2he unhooked the recei!er, and ga!e a number.

3% *ant to s-eak to )r. 2turgis,3 she said.

36h, )r. 2turgis,3 said )rs. Pett. 3% *onder if you could-ossibly run u- here''yes, no*. This is )rs. Peter Pett s-eaking.0ou remember *e met some years ago *hen % *as )rs. 5ord. 0es, themother of 6gden 5ord. % *ant to consult''0ou *ill come u- atonce7 Thank you so much. Good'bye.3

)rs. Pett hung u- the recei!er.

"#PTE$ >=%%

)%22 T$%)B(E, &ETE"T%=E

&o*nstairs, in the dining'room, Jimmy *as smoking cigarettes andre!ie*ing in his mind the -eculiarities of the situation, *hennn came in.

36h, there you are,3 said nn. 3% thought you must ha!e gone

u-stairs.3

3% ha!e been ha!ing a delightful and entertaining con!ersation*ith my old chum, (ord Wisbeach.3

3Good gracious4 What about73

36h, this and that.3

3/ot about old times73



3/o, *e did not touch u-on old times.3

3&oes he still belie!e that you are Jimmy "rocker7 %1m soner!ous,3 said nn, 3that % can hardly s-eak.3

3% shouldn1t be ner!ous,3 said Jimmy encouragingly. 3% don1t seeho* things could be going better.3

3That1s *hat makes me ner!ous. 6ur luck is too good to last. Weare taking such risks. %t *ould ha!e been bad enough *ithout2kinner and (ord Wisbeach. t any moment you may make some fatalsli-. Thank goodness, aunt /esta1s sus-icions ha!e been suashedfor the time being no* that 2kinner and (ord Wisbeach ha!eacce-ted you as genuine. But then you ha!e only seen them for afe* minutes. When they ha!e been *ith you a little longer, theymay get sus-icious themsel!es. % can1t imagine ho* you managed tokee- it u- *ith (ord Wisbeach. % should ha!e thought he *ould becertain to say something about the time *hen you *ere su--osed tobe friends in (ondon. We sim-ly mustn1t strain our luck. % *ant

you to go straight to aunt /esta no* and ask her to let Jerrycome back.3

30ou still refuse to let me take Jerry1s -lace73

36f course % do. 0ou1ll find aunt /esta u-stairs.3

3=ery *ell. But su--ose % can1t -ersuade her to forgi!e Jerry73

3% think she is certain to do anything you ask. 0ou sa* ho*friendly she *as to you at lunch. % don1t see ho* anything canha!e ha--ened since lunch to change her.3

3=ery *ell. %1ll go to her no*.3

3nd *hen you ha!e seen her, go to the library and *ait for me.%t1s the second room along the -assage outside here. % ha!e-romised to dri!e (ord Wisbeach do*n to his hotel in my car. %met him outside just no* and he tells me aunt /esta has in!itedhim to stay here, so he *ants to go and get his things ready. %shan1t be t*enty minutes. % shall come straight back.3

Jimmy found himself !aguely disuieted by this -iece ofinformation.

3(ord Wisbeach is coming to stay here73

30es. Why73

36h, nothing. Well, %1ll go and see )rs. Pett.3

/o traces of the disturbance *hich had tem-orarily ruffled the-eace of the dra*ing'room *ere to be obser!ed *hen Jimmy reachedit. The recei!er of the tele-hone *as back on its hook, )rs. Pettback in her chair, the dog ida back in her basket. )rs. Pett,her mind at ease no* that she had taken the ste- of summoning )r.2turgis, *as reading a book, one of her o*n, and *as absorbed in



it. The dog ida slumbered noisily.

The sight of Jimmy, ho*e!er, roused )rs. Pett from her literarycalm. To her eye, after *hat (ord Wisbeach had re!ealed there *assomething sinister in the !ery *ay in *hich he *alked into theroom. #e made her flesh cree-. %n 3 2ociety Thug3 )obbs and2tifien, .DK net, all rights of translation reser!ed, includingthe 2candina!ianF she had -ortrayed just such a man''smooth,s-ecious, and formidable. %nstincti!ely, as she *atched Jimmy,her mind *ent back to the -erfectly rotten beha!iour of her o*n)arsden Tuke it *as only in the last cha-ter but one that theymanaged to foil his outrageous machinationsF, and it seemed toher that here *as Tuke in the flesh. 2he had -ictured him, sheremembered, as a man of agreeable eterior, the better calculatedto decei!e and undo the !irtuous9 and the fact that Jimmy *as a-resentable'looking young man only made him a--ear !iler in hereyes. %n a *ord, she could hardly ha!e been in less suitableframe of mind to recei!e graciously any kind of a reuest fromhim. 2he *ould ha!e sus-ected ulterior moti!es if he had askedher the time.

Jimmy did not kno* this. #e thought that she eyed him a triflefrostily, but he did not attribute this to any sus-icion of him.#e tried to ingratiate himself by smiling -leasantly. #e couldnot ha!e made a *orse mo!e. )arsden Tuke1s -leasant smile hadbeen his deadliest *ea-on. nder its influence deluded -eo-le hadtrusted him alone *ith their je*ellery and *hat not.

3unt /esta,3 said Jimmy, 3% *onder if % might ask you a -ersonalfa!our.3

)rs. Pett shuddered at the glibness *ith *hich he brought out thefamiliar name. This *as su-erTuke. )arsden himself, scoundrel ashe *as, could not ha!e called her 3unt /esta3 as smoothly asthat.

30es73 she said at last. 2he found it difficult to s-eak.

3% ha--ened to meet an old friend of mine this morning. #e *as!ery sorry for himself. %t a--ears that''for ecellent reasons,of course''you had dismissed him. % mean Jerry )itchell.3

)rs. Pett *as no* absolutely a--alled. The cons-iracy seemed togro* more com-licated e!ery moment. lready its ramificationsembraced this man before her, a trusted butler, and her husband1slate -hysical instructor. Who could say *here it *ould end7 2hehad ne!er liked Jerry )itchell, but she had ne!er sus-ected him

of being a cons-irator. 0et, if this man *ho called himself Jimmy"rocker *as an old friend of his, ho* could he be anything else7

3)itchell,3 Jimmy *ent on, unconscious of the emotions *hich hise!ery *ord *as arousing in his hearer1s bosom, 3told me about*hat ha--ened yesterday. #e is !ery de-ressed. #e said he couldnot think ho* he ha--ened to beha!e in such an abominable *ay. #eentreated me to -ut in a *ord for him *ith you. #e begged me totell you ho* he regretted the brutal assault, and asked me tomention the fact that his record had hitherto been blameless.3



Jimmy -aused. #e *as getting no encouragement, and seemed to bemaking no im-ression *hate!er. )rs. Pett *as sitting bolt u-rightin her chair in a stiffly defensi!e sort of *ay. 2he had thea--earance of being absolutely untouched by his elouence. 3%nfact,3 he concluded lamely, 3he is !ery sorry.3

There *as silence for a moment.

3#o* do you come to kno* )itchell73 asked )rs. Pett.

3We kne* each other *hen % *as o!er here *orking on the<"hronicle<. % sa* him fight once or t*ice. #e is an ecellentfello*, and used to ha!e a right s*ing that *as a -i--in''%should say etremely ecellent. Brought it u- from the floor, youkno*.3

3% strongly object to -ri+e'fighters,3 said )rs. Pett, 3and % *aso--osed to )itchell coming into the house from the first.3

30ou *ouldn1t let him come back, % su--ose73 ueried Jimmy

tentati!ely.

3% *ould not. % *ould not dream of such a thing.3

3#e1s full of remorse, you kno*.3

3%f he has a s-ark of humanity, % ha!e no doubt of it.3

Jimmy -aused. This thing *as not coming out as *ell as it mightha!e done. #e feared that for once in her life nn *as about tobe denied something on *hich she had set her heart. Thereflection that this *ould be etremely good for her com-eted for-recedence in his mind *ith the reflection that she *ould-robably blame him for the failure, *hich *ould be un-leasant.

3#e is !ery fond of 6gden really.3

3#1m,3 said )rs. Pett.

3% think the heat must ha!e made him irritable. %n his normalstate he *ould not strike a lamb. %1!e kno*n him to do it.3

3&o *hat73

3/ot strike lambs.3

3%sch,3 said )rs. Pett''the first time Jimmy had e!er heard that

remarkable monosyllable -roceed from human li-s. #e tookit''rightly''to be intended to con!ey disa--ro!al, sce-ticism,and annoyance. #e *as con!inced that this mission *as going to beone of his failures.

3Then % may tell him,3 he said, 3that it1s all right73

3That *hat is all right73

3That he may come back here73



3"ertainly not.3

)rs. Pett *as not a timid *oman, but she could not restrain ashudder as she *atched the -lot unfold before her eyes. #ergratitude to*ards (ord Wisbeach at this -oint in the -roceedingsalmost became hero'*orshi-. %f it had not been for him and hisre!elations concerning this man before her, she *ould certainlyha!e yielded to the reuest that Jerry )itchell be allo*ed toreturn to the house. )uch as she disliked Jerry, she had beenfeeling so trium-hant at the thought of Jimmy "rocker coming toher in s-ite of his ste-'mother1s *ishes and so -leased at ha!ingune-ectedly got her o*n *ay that she could ha!e denied himnothing that he might ha!e cared to ask. But no* it *as as if,herself unseen, she *ere looking on at a gang of cons-iratorshatching some -lot. 2he *as in the strong strategic -osition ofthe -erson *ho is a--arently decei!ed, but *ho in reality kno*sall.

5or a moment she considered the uestion of admitting Jerry to

the house. E!idently his -resence *as necessary to theconsummation of the -lot, *hate!er it might be, and it occurredto her that it might be as *ell, on the -rinci-le of gi!ing theschemers enough ro-e to hang themsel!es *ith, to let him comeback and -lay his -art. Then she reflected that, *ith theself'styled Jimmy "rocker as *ell as the fraudulent 2kinner inthe house, (ord Wisbeach and the detecti!e *ould ha!e their handsuite full enough. %t *ould be foolish to com-licate matters.2he glanced at the clock on the mantel-iece. )r. 2turgis *ould bearri!ing soon, if he had really started at once from his office,as he had -romised. 2he dre* comfort from the imminence of hiscoming. %t *ould be -leasant to -ut herself in the hands of ane-ert.

Jimmy had -aused, mid'*ay to the door, and *as standing there asif reluctant to acce-t her ans*er to his -lea.

3%t *ould ne!er occur again. What ha--ened yesterday, % mean. 0ouneed not be afraid of that.3

3% am not afraid of that,3 res-onded )rs. Pett tartly.

3%f you had seen him *hen % did''3

3When did you7 0ou landed from the boat this morning, you *ent to)r. Pett1s office, and then came straight u- here *ith him. % aminterested to kno* *hen you did see )itchell73

2he regretted this thrust a little, for she felt it might -ut theman on his guard by sho*ing that she sus-ected something but shecould not resist it, and it -leased her to see that her com-anion*as momentarily confused.

3% met him *hen % *as going for my luggage,3 said Jimmy.

%t *as just the *ay )arsden Tuke *ould ha!e got out of it. Tuke*as al*ays *riggling out of corners like that. )rs. Pett1s horror



of Jimmy gre*.

3% told him, of course,3 said Jimmy, 3that you had !ery kindlyin!ited me to stay *ith you, and he told me all, about histrouble and im-lored me to -lead for him. %f you had seen him*hen % did, all gloom and re-entance, you *ould ha!e been sorryfor him. 0our *oman1s heart''3

Whate!er Jimmy *as about to say regarding )rs. Pett1s *oman1sheart *as interru-ted by the o-ening of the door and the dee-,res-ectful !oice of )r. "rocker.

3)r. 2turgis.3

The detecti!e entered briskly, as if time *ere money *ith him''asindeed it *as, for the %nternational &etecti!e gency, of *hichhe *as the -ro-rietor, did a thri!ing business. #e *as a gaunt,hungry'looking man of about fifty, *ith sunken eyes and thinli-s. %t *as his habit to dress in the height of fashion, for oneof his fa!ourite aioms *as that a man might be a detecti!e and

still look a gentleman, and his a--earance *as that of theindi!idual usually described as a 3-o-ular clubman.3 That is tosay, he looked like a floor*alker taking a 2unday stroll. #is-ros-erous eterior decei!ed Jimmy satisfactorily, and the latterleft the room little thinking that the !isitor *as anything butan ordinary caller.

The detecti!e glanced keenly at him as he -assed. #e made a-ractice of glancing keenly at nearly e!erything. %t cost nothingand im-ressed clients.

3% am so glad you ha!e come, )r. 2turgis,3 said )rs. Pett.3 Won1tyou sit do*n73

)r. 2turgis sat do*n, -ulled u- the knees of his trousers thathalf'inch *hich kee-s them from bagging and so -reser!es thegentlemanliness of the a--earance, and glanced keenly at )rs.Pett.

3Who *as that young man *ho just *ent out73

3%t is about him that % *ished to consult you, )r. 2turgis.3

)r. 2turgis leaned back, and -laced the ti-s of his fingerstogether.

3Tell me ho* he comes to be here.3

3#e -retends that he is my ne-he*, James "rocker.3

30our ne-he*7 #a!e you ne!er seen your ne-he*73

3/e!er. % ought to tell you, that a fe* years ago my sistermarried for the second time. % disa--ro!ed of the marriage, andrefused to see her husband or his son''he *as a *ido*er. fe**eeks ago, for -ri!ate reasons, % *ent o!er to England, *herethey are li!ing, and asked my sister to let the boy come here to



*ork in my husband1s office. 2he refused, and my husband and %returned to /e* 0ork. This morning % *as astonished to get atele-hone call from )r. Pett from his office, to say that James"rocker had une-ectedly arri!ed after all, and *as then at theoffice. They came u- here, and the young man seemed uitegenuine. %ndeed, he had an offensi!e jocularity *hich *ould beuite in kee-ing *ith the character of the real James "rocker,from *hat % ha!e heard of him.3

)r. 2turgis nodded.

3;no* *hat you mean. 2a* that thing in the -a-er,3 he saidbriefly. 30es73

3/o*, it is !ery curious, but almost from the start % *as uneasy.When % say that the young man seemed genuine, % mean that hecom-letely decei!ed my husband and my niece, *ho li!es *ith us.But % had reasons, *hich % need not go into no*, for being on myguard, and % *as sus-icious. What aroused my sus-icion *as thefact that my husband thought that he remembered this young man as

a fello*'tra!eller of ours on the <tlantic<, on our return !oyage,*hile he claimed to ha!e landed that morning on the <"aronia<.3

30ou are certain of that, )rs. Pett7 #e stated -ositi!ely that hehad landed this morning73

30es. 8uite -ositi!ely. nfortunately % myself had no chance ofjudging the truth of *hat he said, as % am such a bad sailor that% *as seldom out of my stateroom from beginning to end of the!oyage. #o*e!er, as % say, % *as sus-icious. % did not see ho* %could confirm my sus-icions, until % remembered that my ne*butler, 2kinner, had come straight from my sister1s house.3

3That is the man *ho just admitted me73

3Eactly. #e entered my em-loyment only a fe* days ago, ha!ingcome direct from (ondon. % decided to *ait until 2kinner shouldmeet this young man. 6f course, *hen he first came into thehouse, he *as *ith my husband, *ho o-ened the door *ith his key,so that they did not meet then.3

3% understand,3 said )r. 2turgis, glancing keenly at the dogida, *ho had risen and *as sniffing at his ankles. 30ou thoughtthat if 2kinner recognised this young man, it *ould be -roof ofhis identity73

3Eactly.3

3&id he recognise him73

30es. But *ait. % ha!e not finished. #e recognised him, and forthe moment % *as satisfied. But % had had my sus-icions of2kinner, too. % ought to tell you that % had been *arned againsthim by a great friend of mine, (ord Wisbeach, an English -eer*hom *e ha!e kno*n intimately for a !ery long time. #e is one ofthe 2hro-shire Wisbeaches, you kno*.3



3/o doubt,3 said )r. 2turgis.

3(ord Wisbeach used to be intimate *ith the real Jimmy "rocker.#e came to lunch to'day and met this im-ostor. #e -retended torecognise him, in order to -ut him off his guard, but after lunchhe came to me here and told me that in reality he had ne!er seenhim before in his life, and that, *hoe!er else he might be, he*as certainly not James "rocker, my ne-he*.3

2he broke off and looked at )r. 2turgis e-ectantly. Thedetecti!e smiled a uiet smile.

3nd e!en that is not all. There is another thing. )r. Pett usedto em-loy as a -hysical instructor a man named Jerry )itchell.0esterday % dismissed him for reasons it is not necessary to gointo. To'day''just as you arri!ed in fact''the man *ho callshimself Jimmy "rocker *as begging me to allo* )itchell to returnto the house and resume his *ork here. &oes that not strike youas sus-icious, )r. 2turgis73

The detecti!e closed his eyes, and smiled his uiet smile again.#e o-ened his eyes, and fied them on )rs. Pett.

3s -retty a case as % ha!e come across in years,3 he said. 3)rs.Pett, let me tell you something. %t is one of my -eculiaritiesthat % ne!er forget a face. 0ou say that this young man -retendsto ha!e landed this morning from the <"aronia<7 Well, % sa* himmyself more than a *eek ago in a Broad*ay <cafe<.3

30ou did73

3Talking to''Jerry )itchell. % kno* )itchell *ell by sight.3

)rs. Pett uttered an eclamation.

3nd this butler of yours''2kinner. 2hall % tell you somethingabout him7 0ou -erha-s kno* that *hen the big detecti!e agencies,nderson1s and the others, are a--roached in the matter oftracing a man *ho is *anted for anything they sometimes ask thesmaller agencies like my o*n to *ork in *ith them. %t sa!es timeand *idens the field of o-erations. We are !ery glad to donderson1s ser!ice, and nderson1s are big enough to be able toafford to let us do it. /o*, a fe* days ago, a friend of mine innderson1s came to me *ith a sheaf of -hotogra-hs, *hich had beensent to them from (ondon. Whether some -ri!ate client in (ondonor from 2cotland 0ard % do not kno*. /or do % kno* *hy theoriginal of the -hotogra-h *as *anted. But nderson1s had been

asked to trace him and make a re-ort. )y -eculiar gift forremembering faces has enabled me to oblige the nderson -eo-leonce or t*ice before in this *ay. % studied the -hotogra-hs !erycarefully, and ke-t t*o of them for reference. % ha!e one *ith meno*.3 #e felt in his -ockets. 3&o you recognise it73

)rs. Pett stared at the -hotogra-h. %t *as the -resentment of astout, good'humoured man of middle'age, *hose solemn ga+e d*elton the middle distance in that fied *ay *hich a man achie!esonly in -hotogra-hs.



32kinner43

3Eactly,3 said )r. 2turgis, taking the -hotogra-h from her and-utting it back in his -ocket. 3% recognised him directly heo-ened the door to me.3

3But''but % am almost certain that 2kinner is the man *ho let mein *hen % called on my sister in (ondon.3

3<lmost<,3 re-eated the detecti!e. 3&id you obser!e him !eryclosely73

3/o. % su--ose % did not.3

3The ty-e is a !ery common one. %t *ould be !ery easy indeed fora cle!er crook to make himself u- as your sister1s butler closelyenough to decei!e any one *ho had only seen the original once andfor a short time then. What their game is % could not say at-resent, but, taking e!erything into consideration, there can be

no doubt *hate!er that the man *ho calls himself your ne-he* andthe man *ho calls himself your sister1s butler are *orkingtogether, and that Jerry )itchell is *orking in *ith them. s %say, % cannot tell you *hat they are after at -resent, but thereis no doubt that your une-ected dismissal of )itchell must ha!eu-set their -lans. That *ould account for the eagerness to gethim back into the house again.3

3(ord Wisbeach thought that they *ere trying to steal my ne-he*1se-losi!e. Perha-s you ha!e read in the -a-ers that my ne-he*,Willie Partridge, has com-leted an e-losi!e *hich is more-o*erful than any at -resent kno*n. #is father''you ha!e heard ofhim, of course''&*ight Partridge.3

)r. 2turgis nodded.

3#is father *as *orking on it at the time of his death, andWillie has gone on *ith his e-eriments *here he left off. To'dayat lunch he sho*ed us a test'tube full of the e-losi!e. #e -utit in my husband1s safe in the library. (ord Wisbeach iscon!inced that these scoundrels are trying to steal this, but %cannot hel- feeling that this is another of those attem-ts tokidna- my son 6gden. What do you think73

3%t is im-ossible to say at this stage of the -roceedings. ll *ecan tell is that there is some -lot going on. 0ou refused, ofcourse, to allo* )itchell to come back to the house73

30es. 0ou think that *as *ise73

3ndoubtedly. %f his absence did not handica- them, they *ouldnot be so anious to ha!e him on the s-ot.3

3What shall *e do73

30ou *ish me to undertake the case73



36f course.3

)r. 2turgis fro*ned thoughtfully.

3%t *ould be useless for me to come here myself. By bad luck theman *ho -retends to be your ne-he* has seen me. %f % *ere to cometo stay here, he *ould sus-ect something. #e *ould be on hisguard.3 #e -ondered *ith closed eyes. 3)iss Trimble,3 heeclaimed.

3% beg your -ardon.3

30ou *ant )iss Trimble. 2he is the smartest *orker in my office.This is -recisely the ty-e of case she could handle to-erfection.3

3 *oman73 said )rs. Pett doubtfully.

3 *oman in a thousand,3 said )r. 2turgis. 3 *oman in amillion.3

3But -hysically *ould a *oman be''73

3)iss Trimble kno*s more about jiu'jitsu than the Ja-anese-rofessor *ho taught her. t one time she *as a 2trong Woman insmall'time !aude!ille. 2he is an e-ert re!ol!er'shot. % am not*orrying about )iss Trimble1s ca-acity to do the *ork. % am only*ondering in *hat ca-acity it *ould be best for her to enter thehouse. #a!e you a !acancy for a -arlour'maid73

3% could make one.3

3&o so at once. )iss Trimble is at her best as a -arlour'maid.2he handled the )arling di!orce case in that ca-acity. #a!e you atele-hone in the room73

)rs. Pett o-ened the stuffed o*l. The detecti!e got in touch *ithhis office.

3)r. 2turgis s-eaking. Tell )iss Trimble to come to the -hone.. . . )iss Trimble7 % am s-eaking from )rs. Pett1s on $i!erside&ri!e. 0ou kno* the house7 % *ant you to come u- at once. Take atai. Go to the back'door and ask to see )rs. Pett. 2ay you ha!ecome about getting a -lace here as a maid. nderstand7 $ight.2ay, listen, )iss Trimble. #ello7 0es, don1t hang u- for amoment. &o you remember those -hotogra-hs % sho*ed you yesterday70es, the -hotogra-hs from nderson1s. %1!e found the man. #e1s

the butler here. Take a look at him *hen you get to the house./o* go and get a tai. )rs. Pett *ill e-lain e!erything *hen youarri!e.3 #e hung u- the recei!er. 3% think % had better go no*,)rs. Pett. %t *ould not do for me to be here *hile these fello*sare on their guard. % can safely lea!e the matter to )issTrimble. % *ish you good afternoon.3

fter he had gone, )rs. Pett !ainly endea!oured to interestherself again in her book, but in com-etition *ith the sensationsof life, fiction, e!en though she had *ritten it herself, had



lost its -o*er and gri-. %t seemed to her that )iss Trimble mustbe *alking to the house instead of journeying thither in atai'cab. But a glance at the clock assured her that only fi!eminutes had ela-sed since the detecti!e1s de-arture. 2he *ent tothe *indo* and looked out. 2he *as ho-elessly restless.

t last a tai'cab sto--ed at the corner, and a young *oman gotout and *alked to*ards the house. %f this *ere )iss Trimble, shecertainly looked ca-able. 2he *as a stum-y, suare'shouldered-erson, and e!en at that distance it *as -ossible to -ercei!ethat she had a face of no common shre*dness and determination.The net moment she had turned do*n the side'street in thedirection of the back'-remises of )rs. Pett1s house: and a fe*minutes later )r. "rocker -resented himself.

3 young -erson *ishes to see you, madam. young -erson of thename of Trimble.3 -ang -assed through )rs. Pett as she listenedto his measured tones. %t *as tragic that so -erfect a butlershould be a scoundrel. 32he says that you desired her to call inconnection *ith a situation.3

32ho* her u- here, 2kinner. 2he is the ne* -arlour'maid. % *illsend her do*n to you *hen % ha!e finished s-eaking to her.3

3=ery good, madam.3

There seemed to )rs. Pett to be a faint touch of defiance in )issTrimble1s manner as she entered the room. The fact *as that )issTrimble held strong !ie*s on the eual distribution of -ro-erty,and rich -eo-le1s houses al*ays affected her ad!ersely. )r."rocker retired, closing the door gently behind him.

meaning sniff -roceeded from )rs. Pett1s !isitor as she lookedround at the achie!ements of the interior decorator, *ho hadla!ished his art uns-aringly in this -articular room. t thisclose range she more than fulfilled the -romise of that distant!ie* *hich )rs. Pett had had of her from the *indo*. #er face *asnot only shre*d and determined: it *as menacing. 2he had thickeyebro*s, from beneath *hich small, glittering eyes looked outlike dangerous beasts in undergro*th: and the im-ressi!e effectof these *as accentuated by the fact that, *hile the left eyelooked straight out at its object, the right eye had a sort ofro!ing commission and *as no*, *hile its colleague fied )rs.Pett *ith a gimlet stare, eamining the ceiling. s to the restof the a--earance of this remarkable *oman, her nose *as stubbyand aggressi!e, and her mouth had the coldly forbidding look ofthe closed door of a sub*ay e-ress *hen you ha!e just missed the

train. %t bade you kee- your distance on -ain of injury. )rs.Pett, though herself a strong *oman, *as conscious of a curious*eakness as she looked at a female of the s-ecies so muchdeadlier than any male *hom she had e!er encountered: and camenear feeling a half'-ity for the unha--y *retches on *hom thisdynamic maiden *as to be unleashed. 2he hardly kne* ho* to o-enthe con!ersation.

)iss Trimble, ho*e!er, *as eual to the occasion. 2he al*ays-referred to o-en con!ersations herself. #er li-s -arted, and



*ords fle* out as if shot from a machine'gun. s far as )rs.Pett could obser!e, she considered it unnecessary to -art herteeth, -referring to s-eak *ith them clenched. This ga!e anadditional touch of menace to her s-eech.

3&afternoon,3 said )iss Trimble, and )rs. Pett backedcon!ulsi!ely into the -added recesses of her chair, feeling as ifsomebody had thro*n a brick at her.

3Good afternoon,3 she said faintly.

3Gladda meecher, si+ Pett. )r. 2turge semme u-. 2aid y1ad job f1rme. "ame here suick scould.3


32uick scould. Got slo* tai.3

36h, yes.3

)iss Trimble1s right eye flashed about the room like asearchlight, but she ke-t the other hy-notically on hercom-anion1s face.

3Whass trouble73 The right eye rested for a moment on amagnificent "orot o!er the mantel-iece, and she snifted again.3/ot s1-rised y1ha!e trouble. ll rich -eo-le 1!e trouble. /oth1t1do *ith their time 1ce-t get 1nto trouble.3

2he fro*ned disa--ro!ingly at a "analetto.

30ou''ah''a--ear to dislike the rich,3 said )rs. Pett, as nearlyin her grand manner as she could contri!e.

)iss Trimble bo*led o!er the grand manner as if it had been asmall fo*l and she an automobile. 2he rolled o!er it and suashedit flat.

3#ate 1em4 2ogelist43

3% beg your -ardon,3 said )rs. Pett humbly. This *oman *asbeginning to o--ress her to an almost unbelie!able etent.

32ogelist4 /o use f1r idle rich. E!1 read B1nard 2ha*7 #uh7 6r-ton 2inclair7 h7 $ead1m. )ake y1think a bit. Well, y1ha!en1ttold me *hasser trouble.3

)rs. Pett *as by this time heartily regretting the im-ulse *hichhad caused her to tele-hone to )r. 2turgis. %n a career *hich hadhad more than its share of detecti!es, both real and fictitious,she had ne!er been confronted *ith a detecti!e like this. Thegalling thing *as that she *as hel-less. fter all, one engaged adetecti!e for his or her shre*dness and efficiency, not forsua!ity and -olish. detecti!e *ho hurls s-eech at you throughclenched teeth and yet detects is better !alue for the money thanone *ho, though an ideal com-anion for the dra*ing'room, isincom-etent: and )rs. Pett, like most other -eo-le,



subconsciously held the !ie* that the ruder a -erson is the moreefficient he must be. %t is but rarely that any one is found *hois not da++led by the glamour of inci!ility. 2he crushed do*n herresentment at her !isitor1s tone, and tried to concentrate hermind on the fact that this *as a business matter and that *hatshe *anted *as results rather than fair *ords. 2he found iteasier to do this *hen looking at the other1s face. %t *as aca-able face. /ot beautiful, -erha-s, but full of -romise ofaction. )iss Trimble ha!ing ceased tem-orarily to s-eak, hermouth *as in re-ose, and *hen her mouth *as in re-ose it lookedmore efficient than anything else of its si+e in eistence.

3% *ant you,3 said )rs. Pett, 3to come here and *atch some men''3

3)en4 Thought so4 Wh1 there1s trouble, al*ays men1t bottom1f it43

30ou do not like men73

3#ate 1em4 2uff'gist43 2he looked -enetratingly at )rs. Pett.#er left eye seemed to -ounce out from under its tangled bro*.

30ou 21-orter of th1 "ause73

)rs. Pett *as an anti'2uffragist, but, though she held strongo-inions, nothing *ould ha!e induced her to air them at thatmoment. #er *hole being uailed at the -ros-ect of arguing *iththis *oman. 2he returned hurriedly to the main theme.

3 young man arri!ed here this morning, -retending to be myne-he*, James "rocker. #e is an im-ostor. % *ant you to *atch him!ery carefully.3

3Whassi+ game73

3% do not kno*. Personally % think he is here to kidna- my son6gden.3

3%1ll fi1m,3 said the fair Trimble confidently. 32ay, thatbutler 1f yours. #e1s a crook43

)rs. Pett o-ened her eyes. This *oman *as manifestly com-etent ather *ork.

3#a!e you found that out already73

3&1rectly sa* him.3 )iss Trimble o-ened her -urse.3 Go1 one 1fhis -hotogra-hs here. Brought it from office. #e1s th1 man that1s*anted 1ll right.3

3)r. 2turgis and % both think he is *orking *ith the other man,the one *ho -retends to be my ne-he*.3

32ure. %1ll fi 1m.3

2he returned the -hotogra-h to her -urse and sna--ed the catch*ith !icious em-hasis.

3There is another -ossibility,3 said )rs. Pett. 3)y ne-he*, )r.



William Partridge, had in!ented a *onderful e-losi!e, and it isuite likely that these men are here to try to steal it.3

32ure. )en1ll do anything. %f y1 -ut all the men in th1 *orld inth1 cooler, *ouldn1t be 1ny more crime.3

2he glo*ered at the dog ida, *ho had risen from the basket andremo!ing the last remains of slee- from her system by a series ofcalisthenics of her o*n in!ention, as if she sus-ected her ofmasculinity. )rs. Pett could not hel- *ondering *hat tragedy inthe dim -ast had caused this hatred of males on the -art of her!isitor. )iss Trimble had not the a--earance of one *ho *ouldlightly be decei!ed by )an9 still less the a--earance of one *hom)an, unless short'sighted and etraordinarily susce-tible, *ouldgo out of his *ay to decei!e. 2he *as still turning this mysteryo!er in her mind, *hen her !isitor s-oke.

3Well, gimme th1 rest of th1 do-e,3 said )iss Trimble.


3)ore facts. 2-ill 1m43

36h, % understand,3 said )rs. Pett hastily, and embarked on abrief narrati!e of the sus-icious circumstances *hich had causedher to desire skilled assistance.

3(or1 W1sbeach73 said )iss Trimble, breaking the story. 3Who1she73

3 !ery great friend of ours.3

30ou !ouch f1r him -ers1n1lly7 #e1s all right, uh7 /ot a crook,huh73

36f course he is not43 said )rs. Pett indignantly. 3#e1s a greatfriend of mine.3

3ll right. Well, % guess thass 1bout all, huh7 %1ll be goingdo*nstairs 1an starting in.3

30ou can come here immediately73

32ure. Got -arlour'maid rig round at m1 boarding'house roundcorner. "ome back *ith it 1n ten minutes. 2ame dress % used *hen% *1s *orking on th1 )arling &1!orce case. &1jer kno* th1)arlings7 %dle rich4 Bound t1 get 1nto trouble. % fied 1m. Well,

g1bye. )us1 be going. /o time t1 *aste.3

)rs. Pett leaned back faintly in her chair. 2he felt o!ercome.

&o*nstairs, on her *ay out, )iss Trimble had -aused in the hallto ins-ect a fine statue *hich stood at the foot of the stairs.%t *as a noble *ork of art, but it seemed to dis-lease her. 2hesnorted.

3%dle rich43 she muttered scornfully. 3Brrh43



The -ortly form of )r. "rocker loomed u- from the direction ofthe back stairs. 2he fied her left eye on him -iercingly. )r."rocker met it, and uailed. #e had that consciousness of guilt*hich -hiloso-hers tell is the *orst dra*back to crime. Why this*oman1s ga+e should disturb him so thoroughly, he could not ha!esaid. 2he *as a -erfect stranger to him. 2he could kno* nothingabout him. 0et he uailed.

32ay,3 said )iss Trimble. 3%1m c1ming here 1s -arlour'maid.3

36h, ah73 said )r. "rocker, feebly.

3Grrrh43 obser!ed )iss Trimble, and de-arted.

"#PTE$ >=%%%

T#E =6%"E P$6) T#E P2T

The library, *hither Jimmy had made his *ay after lea!ing )rs.Pett, *as a large room on the ground floor, looking out on thestreet *hich ran -arallel to the south side of the house. %t had5rench *indo*s, o-ening onto a stri- of la*n *hich ended in ahigh stone *all *ith a small gate in it, the general effect ofthese things being to create a resemblance to a country houserather than to one in the centre of the city. )r. Pett1s to*nresidence *as full of these sur-rises.

%n one corner of the room a massi!e safe had been let into the*all, striking a note of incongruity, for the remainder of the*all's-ace *as com-letely co!ered *ith !olumes of all sorts andsi+es, *hich filled the shel!es and o!erflo*ed into a smallgallery, reached by a short flight of stairs and running alongthe north side of the room o!er the door.

Jimmy cast a glance at the safe, behind the steel doors of *hichhe -resumed the test'tube of Partridgite *hich Willie had carriedfrom the luncheon'table lay hid: then transferred his attentionto the shel!es. cursory ins-ection of these re!ealed nothing*hich ga!e -romise of *hiling a*ay entertainingly the moments*hich must ela-se before the return of nn. Jimmy1s tastes inliterature lay in the direction of the lighter kind of modernfiction, and )r. Pett did not a--ear to -ossess a single !olumethat had been *ritten later than the eighteenth century''andmostly -oetry at that. #e turned to the *riting'desk near the

*indo*, on *hich he had caught sight of a standing shelf full ofbooks of a more modern as-ect. #e -icked one u- at random ando-ened it.

#e thre* it do*n disgustedly. %t *as -oetry. This man Petta--eared to ha!e a -erfect obsession for -oetry. 6ne *ould ne!erha!e sus-ected it, to look at him. Jimmy had just resignedhimself, after another glance at the shelf, to a bookless !igil,*hen his eye *as caught by a name on the co!er of the last in thero* so une-ected that he had to look again to !erify the



disco!ery.

#e had been -erfectly right. There it *as, in gold letters.

T#E (6/E(0 #E$T

B0

// "#E2TE$

#e etracted the !olume from the shelf in a sort of stu-or. E!enno* he *as inclined to gi!e his goddess of the red hair thebenefit of the doubt, and assume that some one else of the samename had *ritten it. 5or it *as a defect in Jimmy1scharacter''one of his many defects''that he loathed and scornedminor -oetry and considered minor -oets, es-ecially *henfeminine, an unnecessary affliction. #e declined to belie!e thatnn, his nn, a girl full of the finest traits of character, thegirl *ho had been ca-able of encouraging a com-arati!e strangerto break the la* by im-ersonating her cousin Jimmy "rocker, could

also be ca-able of *riting The (onely #eart and other -oems. #eskimmed through the first one he came across, and shuddered. %t*as -ure slush. %t *as the sort of stuff they filled u- -ages*ith in the maga+ines *hen the detecti!e story did not run longenough. %t *as the sort of stuff *hich long'haired blighters readalone to other long'haired blighters in English suburbandra*ing'rooms. %t *as the sort of stuff *hich''to be brief''ga!ehim the Willies. /o, it could not be nn *ho had *ritten it.

The net moment the horrid truth *as thrust u-on him. There *asan inscri-tion on the title -age.

3To my dearest uncle Peter, *ith lo!e from the author, nn"hester.3

The room seemed to reel before Jimmy1s eyes. #e felt as if afriend had *ounded him in his tenderest feelings. #e felt as ifsome lo!ed one had smitten him o!er the back of the head *ith asandbag. 5or one moment, in *hich time stood still, his de!otionto nn *obbled. %t *as as if he had found her out in someterrible crime that re!ealed unsus-ected fla*s in her hithertoideal character.

Then his eye fell u-on the date on the title -age, and a strongs-asm of relief shook him. The clouds rolled a*ay, and he lo!edher still. This frightful !olume had been -ublished fi!e yearsago.

*a!e of -ity s*e-t o!er Jimmy. #e did not blame her no*. 2hehad been a mere child fi!e years ago, scarcely old enough todistinguish right from *rong. 0ou couldn1t blame her for *ritingsentimental !erse at that age. Why, at a similar stage in his o*ncareer he had *anted to be a !aude!ille singer. E!erything mustbe ecused to 0outh. %t *as *ith a tender glo* of affectionateforgi!eness that he turned the -ages.

s he did so a curious thing ha--ened to him. #e began to ha!e



that feeling, *hich e!ery one has e-erienced at some time orother, that he had done this !ery thing before. #e *as almostcon!inced that this *as not the first time he had seen that -oemon -age t*enty'se!en entitled 3 (ament.3 Why, some of the linesseemed etraordinarily familiar. The -eo-le *ho understood thesethings e-lained this -henomenon, he belie!ed, by some stuffabout the cells of the brain *orking simultaneously or something.2omething about cells, any*ay. #e su--osed that that must be it.

But that *as not it. The feeling that he had read all this beforegre* instead of !anishing, as is generally the *ay on theseoccasions. #e <had< read this stuff before. #e *as certain of it.But *hen7 nd *here7 nd abo!e all *hy7 2urely he had not done itfrom choice.

%t *as the total im-ossibility of his ha!ing done it from choicethat led his memory in the right direction. There had only been ayear or so in his life *hen he had been obliged to read things*hich he *ould not ha!e read of his o*n free *ill, and that hadbeen *hen he *orked on the <"hronicle<. "ould it ha!e been that

they had gi!en him this book of -oems to re!ie*7 6r''7

nd then memory, in its usual eccentric *ay, ha!ing taken allthis time to make the first -art of the journey, finished therest of it *ith one lightning s*oo-, and he kne*.

nd *ith the illumination came dismay. Worse than dismay. #orror.

3Gosh43 said Jimmy.

#e kne* no* *hy he had thought on the occasion of their firstmeeting in (ondon that he had seen hair like nn1s before. Themists rolled a*ay and he sa* e!erything clear and stark. #e kne**hat had ha--ened at that meeting fi!e years before, to *hich shehad so mysteriously alluded. #e kne* *hat she had meant thate!ening on the boat, *hen she had charged one Jimmy "rocker *ithha!ing cured her of sentiment. cold s*eat s-rang into beingabout his tem-les. #e could remember that inter!ie* no*, asclearly as if it had ha--ened fi!e minutes ago instead of fi!eyears. #e could recall the article for the <2unday "hronicle< *hichhe had *ritten from the inter!ie*, and the ghoulish gusto *ith*hich he had *ritten it. #e had had a boy1s undisci-lined senseof humour in those days, the sense of humour *hich riots like ayoung colt, careless of *hat it bruises and crushes. #e shudderedat the recollection of the things he had hammered out sogleefully on his ty-e*riter do*n at the <"hronicle< office. #efound himself recoiling in disgust from the man he had been, the

man *ho could ha!e done a *anton thing like that *ithoutcom-unction or ruth. #e had read etracts from the article to ana--reciati!e colleague. . . .

great sym-athy for nn *elled u- in him. /o *onder she hatedthe memory of Jimmy "rocker.

%t is -robable that remorse *ould ha!e tortured him e!en further,had he not chanced to turn absently to -age forty'si and read a-oem entitled 3(o!e1s 5uneral.3 %t *as not a long -oem, and he



had finished it inside of t*o minutes9 but by that time a changehad come u-on his mood of self'loathing. #e no longer felt like a-articularly mean murderer. 3(o!e1s 5uneral3 *as like a tonic.%t braced and in!igourated him. %t *as so uns-eakably absurd, so-oor in e!ery res-ect. ll things, he no* -ercei!ed, had *orkedtogether for good. nn had admitted on the boat that it *as hissatire that had crushed out of her the fondness for this sort ofthing. %f that *as so, then the -art he had -layed in her lifehad been that of a rescuer. #e thought of her as she *as no* andas she must ha!e been then to ha!e *ritten stuff like this, andhe rejoiced at *hat he had done. %n a manner of s-eaking the nnof to'day, the glorious creature *ho *ent about the -lacekidna--ing 6gdens, *as his handi*ork. %t *as he *ho had destroyedthe minor -oetry !irus in her.

The refrain of an old song came to him.

30ou made me *hat % am to'day4 % ho-e you1re satisfied43

#e *as more than satisfied. #e *as -roud of himself.

#e rejoiced, ho*e!er, after the first flush of enthusiasm,some*hat moderately. There *as no disguising the -enalty of hisdeed of kindness. To nn Jimmy "rocker *as no rescuer, but a sortof blend of ogre and !am-ire. 2he must ne!er learn his realidentity''or not until he had succeeded by assiduous toil, as heho-ed he *ould, in neutralising that -rejudice of the distant-ast.

footste- outside broke in on his thoughts. #e thrust the bookuickly back into its -lace. nn came in, and shut the doorbehind her.

3Well73 she said eagerly.

Jimmy did not re-ly for a moment. #e *as looking at her andthinking ho* -erfect in e!ery *ay she *as no*, as she stood there-urged of sentimentality, all aglo* *ith curiosity to kno* ho*her nefarious -lans had succeeded. %t *as his nn *ho stoodthere, not the author of 3The (onely #eart.3

3&id you ask her73

30es. But''3

nn1s face fell.

36h4 2he *on1t let him come back73

32he absolutely refused. % did my best.3

3% kno* you did.3

There *as a silence.

3Well, this settles it,3 said Jimmy. 3/o* you *ill ha!e to let me



hel- you.3

nn looked troubled.

3But it1s such a risk. 2omething terrible might ha--en to you.%sn1t im-ersonation a criminal offence73

3What does it matter7 They tell me -risons are ecellent -lacesno*adays. "oncerts, -icnics''all that sort of thing. % shan1tmind going there. % ha!e a nice singing'!oice. % think % *ill tryto make the glee'club.3

3% su--ose *e are breaking the la*,3 said nn seriously. 3% toldJerry that nothing could ha--en to us ece-t the loss of his-lace to him and being sent to my grandmother to me, but %1mbound to say % said that just to encourage him. &on1t you think*e ought to kno* *hat the -enalty is, in case *e are caught73

3%t *ould enable us to make our -lans. %f it1s a life sentence, %shouldn1t *orry about selecting my future career.3

30ou see,3 e-lained nn, 3% su--ose they *ould hardly send me to-rison, as %1m a relation''though % *ould far rather go therethan to grandmother1s. 2he li!es all alone miles a*ay in thecountry, and is strong on disci-line''but they might do all sortsof things to you, in s-ite of my -leadings. % really think youhad better gi!e u- the idea, %1m afraid my enthusiasm carried mea*ay. % didn1t think of all this before.3

3/e!er. This thing goes through, or fails o!er my dead body. Whatare you looking for73

nn *as dee- in a bulky !olume *hich stood on a lectern by the*indo*.

3"atalogue,3 she said briefly, turning the -ages. 3ncle Peterhas hea-s of la* books. %1ll look u- kidna--ing. #ere *e are. (a*Encyclo-edia. 2helf >. 6h, that1s u-stairs. % shan1t be aminute.3

2he ran to the little staircase, and disa--eared. #er !oice camefrom the gallery.

3#ere *e are. %1!e got it.3

32hoot,3 said Jimmy.

3There1s such a lot of it,3 called the !oice from abo!e. 3Pagesand -ages. %1m just skimming. Wait a moment.3

rustling follo*ed from the gallery, then a snee+e.

3This is the dustiest -lace % *as e!er in,3 said the !oice. 3%t1sinches dee- e!ery*here. %t1s full of cigarette ends, too. % musttell uncle. 6h, here it is. ;idna--ing''-enalties''3

3#ush3 called Jimmy. 3There1s some one coming.3



The door o-ened.

3#ello,3 said 6gden, strolling in. 3% *as looking for you. &idn1tthink you *ould be here.3

3"ome right in, my little man, and make yourself at home,3 saidJimmy.

6gden eyed him *ith disfa!our.

30ou1re -retty fresh, aren1t you73

3This is -raise from 2ir #ubert 2tanley.3

3Eh7 Who1s he73

36h, a gentleman *ho kne* *hat *as *hat.3

6gden closed the door.

3Well, % kno* *hat1s *hat, too. % kno* *hat you are for onething.3 #e chuckled. 3%1!e got your number all right.3

3%n *hat res-ect73

nother chuckle -roceeded from the bulbous boy.

30ou think you1re smooth, don1t you7 But %1m onto you, Jimmy"rocker. lot of Jimmy "rocker you are. 0ou1re a crook. Get me7nd % kno* *hat you1re after, at that. 0ou1re going to try tokidna- me.3

5rom the corner of his eye Jimmy *as a*are of nn1s startledface, looking o!er the gallery rail and *ithdra*n hastily. /osound came from the heights, but he kne* that she *as listeningintently.

3What makes you think that73

6gden lo*ered himself into the de-ths of his fa!ourite easychair, and, -utting his feet restfully on the *riting'desk, metJimmy1s ga+e *ith a glassy but kno*ing eye.

3Got a cigarette73 he said.

3% ha!e not,3 said Jimmy. 3%1m sorry.3

32o am %.3

3$eturning, *ith your -ermission, to our original subject,3 saidJimmy, 3*hat makes you think that % ha!e come here to kidna-you73

6gden ya*ned.

3% *as in the dra*ing'room after lunch, and that guy (ord



Wisbeach came in and said he *anted to talk to mother -ri!ately.)other sent me out of the room, so of course % listened at thedoor.3

3&o you kno* *here little boys go *ho listen to -ri!atecon!ersations73 said Jimmy se!erely.

3To the *itness'stand generally, % guess. Well, % listened, and %heard this (ord Wisbeach tell mother that he had only -retendedto recognise you as Jimmy "rocker and that really he had ne!erseen you before in his life. #e said you *ere a crook and thatthey had got to *atch you. Well, % kne* then *hy you had comehere. %t *as -retty smooth, getting in the *ay you did. %1!e gotto hand it to you.3

Jimmy did not re-ly. #is mind *as occu-ied *ith the contem-lationof this dashing counter'stroke on the -art of Gentleman Jack. #ecould hardly refrain from admiring the sim-le strategy *ith *hichthe latter had circum!ented him. There *as an artistry about themo!e *hich com-elled res-ect.

3Well, no*, see here,3 said 6gden, 3you and % ha!e got to gettogether on this -ro-osition. %1!e been kidna--ed t*ice before,and the only guys that made anything out of it *ere thekidna--ers. %t1s -retty soft for them. They couldn1t ha!e got acent *ithout me, and they ne!er dreamed of gi!ing me a rake'off.%1m getting good and tired of being kidna--ed for other -eo-le1sbenefit, and %1!e made u- my mind that the net guy that *ants mehas got to come across. 2ee7 )y -ro-osition is fifty'fifty. %fyou like it, %1m game to let you go ahead. %f you don1t like it,then the deal1s off, and you1ll find that you1!e a darned -oorchance of getting me. When % *as kidna--ed before, % *as just akid, but % can look after myself no*. Well, *hat do you say73

Jimmy found it hard at first to say anything. #e had ne!er-ro-erly understood the -ossibilities of 6gden1s characterbefore. The longer he contem-lated him, the more admirable nn1sscheme a--eared. %t seemed to him that only a resolute kee-er ofa home for dogs *ould be adeuately eui--ed for dealing *iththis remarkable youth.

3This is a commercial age,3 he said.

30ou bet it is,3 said 6gden. 3)y middle name is business. 2ay,are you *orking this on your o*n, or are you in *ith Buck)aginnis and his cro*d73

3% don1t think % kno* )r. )aginnis.3

3#e1s the guy *ho kidna--ed me the first time. #e1s a rough'neck.2mooth 2am 5isher got a*ay *ith me the second time. )aybe you1rein *ith 2am73

3/o.3

3/o, % guess not. % heard that he had married and retired frombusiness. % rather *ish you *ere one of Buck1s lot. % like Buck.



When he kidna--ed me, % li!ed *ith him and he ga!e me a s*elltime. When % left him, a *oman came and inter!ie*ed me about itfor one of the 2unday -a-ers. 2ob stuff. "alled the -iece 1E!en;idna--ers #a!e Tender #earts Beneath $ough Eterior.1 %1!e gotit u-stairs in my -ress'cli--ing album. %t *as -retty bad slush.Buck )aginnis hasn1t got any tender heart beneath his rougheterior, but he1s a good sort and % liked him. We used to shootcra-s. nd he taught me to che*. %1d be tickled to death to ha!eBuck get me again. But, if you1re *orking on your o*n, all right.%t1s all the same to me, -ro!ided you meet me on the terms.3

30ou certainly are a fascinating child.3

3(ess of it, less of it. %1!e troubles enough to bear *ithoutha!ing you getting fresh. Well, *hat about it7 Talk figures. %f %let you take me a*ay, do *e di!!y u- or don1t *e7 That1s allyou1!e got to say.3

3That1s easily settled. %1ll certainly gi!e you half of *hate!er% get.3

6gden looked *istfully at the *riting'desk.

3% *ish % could ha!e that in *riting. But % guess it *ouldn1tstand in la*. % su--ose % shall ha!e to trust you.3

3#onour among thie!es.3

3(ess of the thie!es. This is just a straight business-ro-osition. %1!e got something !aluable to sell, and %1m darnedif %1m going to kee- gi!ing it a*ay. %1!e been too easy. % oughtto ha!e thought of this before. ll right, then, that1s settled./o* it1s u- to you. 0ou can think out the rest of it yourself.3

#e hea!ed himself out of the chair, and left the room. nn,coming do*n from the gallery, found Jimmy meditating. #e lookedu- at the sound of her ste-.

3Well, that seems to make it -retty easy for us, doesn1t it73 hesaid. 3%t sol!es the -roblem of *ays and means.3

3But this is a*ful. This alters e!erything. %t isn1t safe for youto stay here. 0ou must go a*ay at once. They1!e found you out.0ou may be arrested at any moment.3

3That1s a side'issue. The main -oint is to -ut this thingthrough. Then *e can think about *hat is going to ha--en to me.3

3But can1t you see the risk you1re running73

3% don1t mind. % *ant to hel- you.3

3% *on1t let you.3

30ou must.3

3But do be sensible. What *ould you think of me if % allo*ed you



to face this danger''73

3% *ouldn1t think any differently of you. )y o-inion of you is afied thing. /othing can alter it. % tried to tell you on theboat, but you *ouldn1t let me. % think you1re the most -erfect,*onderful girl in all the *orld. %1!e lo!ed you since the firstmoment % sa* you. % kne* *ho you *ere *hen *e met for half aminute that day in (ondon. We *ere utter strangers, but % kne*you. 0ou *ere the girl % had been looking for all my life. Good#ea!ens, you talk of risks. "an1t you understand that just being*ith you and s-eaking to you and kno*ing that *e share this thingtogether is enough to *i-e out any thought of risk7 %1d doanything for you. nd you e-ect me to back out of this thingbecause there is a certain amount of danger43

nn had retreated to the door, and *as looking at him *ith *ideeyes. With other young men and there had been many''*ho had saidmuch the same sort of thing to her since her <debutante< days shehad been cool and com-osed''a little sorry, -erha-s, but in nodoubt as to her o*n feelings and her ability to resist their

-leadings. But no* her heart *as racing, and the con!iction hadbegun to steal o!er her that the cool and com-osed nn "hester*as in imminent danger of making a fool of herself. 8uitesuddenly, *ithout any sort of *arning, she realised that there*as some uality in Jimmy *hich called aloud to somecorres-onding uality in herself''a nebulous something that madeher kno* that he and she *ere mates. 2he kne* herself hard to-lease *here men *ere concerned. 2he could not ha!e described*hat it *as in her that all the men she had met, the men *ith*hom she had golfed and ridden and yachted, had failed tosatisfy: but, e!er since she had acuired the -o*er ofself'analysis, she had kno*n that it *as something *hich *as asolid and indestructible -art of her com-osition. 2he could notha!e -ut into *ords *hat uality she demanded in man, but she hadal*ays kno*n that she *ould recognise it *hen she found it: andshe recognised it no* in Jimmy. %t *as a recklessness, anirres-onsibility, a cheerful dare'de!ilry, the com-lement to hero*n gay la*lessness.

3nn43 said Jimmy.

3%t1s too late43

2he had not meant to say that. 2he had meant to say that it *asim-ossible, out of the uestion. But her heart *as running a*ay*ith her, goaded on by the irony of it all. !eil seemed to ha!efallen from before her eyes, and she kne* no* *hy she had been

dra*n to Jimmy from the !ery first. They *ere mates, and she hadthro*n a*ay her ha--iness.

3%1!e -romised to marry (ord Wisbeach43

Jimmy sto--ed dead, as if the blo* had been a -hysical one.

30ou1!e -romised to marry (ord Wisbeach43

30es.3



3But''but *hen73

3Just no*. 6nly a fe* minutes ago. When % *as dri!ing him to hishotel. #e had asked me to marry him before % left for England,and % had -romised to gi!e him his ans*er *hen % got back. But*hen % got back, someho* % couldn1t make u- my mind. The dayssli--ed by. 2omething seemed to be holding me back. #e -ressed meto say that % *ould marry him, and it seemed absurd to go onrefusing to be definite, so % said % *ould.3

30ou can1t lo!e him7 2urely you don1t''73

nn met his ga+e frankly.

32omething seems to ha!e ha--ened to me in the last fe* minutes,3she said, 3and % can1t think clearly. little *hile ago itdidn1t seem to matter much. % liked him. #e *as good'looking andgood'tem-ered. % felt that *e should get along uite *ell and beas ha--y as most -eo-le are. That seemed as near -erfection as

one could e-ect to get no*adays, so''*ell, that1s ho* it *as.3

3But you can1t marry him4 %t1s out of the uestion43

3%1!e -romised.3

30ou must break your -romise.3

3% can1t do that.3

30ou must43

3% can1t. 6ne must -lay the game.3

Jimmy gro-ed for *ords. 3But in this case you mustn1t''it1sa*ful''in this s-ecial case''3 #e broke off. #e sa* the tra- he*as in. #e could not denounce that crook *ithout e-osinghimself. nd from that he still shrank. nn1s -rejudice againstJimmy "rocker might ha!e its root in a tri!ial and absurdgrie!ance, but it had been gro*ing through the years, and *hocould say ho* strong it *as no*7

nn came a ste- to*ards him, then -aused doubtfully. Then, as ifmaking u- her mind, she dre* near and touched his slee!e.

3%1m sorry,3 she said.

There *as a silence.

3%1m sorry43

2he mo!ed a*ay. The door closed softly behind her. Jimmy scarcelykne* that she had gone. #e sat do*n in that dee- chair *hich *as)r. Pett1s fa!ourite, and stared sightlessly at the ceiling. ndthen, ho* many minutes or hours later he did not kno*, the shar-click of the door'handle roused him. #e s-rang from the chair.Was it nn, come back7



%t *as not nn. $ound the edge of the door came inuiringly thefair head of (ord Wisbeach.

36h43 said his lordshi-, sighting Jimmy.

The head *ithdre* itself.

3"ome here43 shouted Jimmy.

The head a--eared again.

3Talking to me73

30es, % *as talking to you.3

(ord Wisbeach follo*ed his su-erstructure into the room. #e *asout*ardly all that *as bland and un-erturbed, but there *as a*ary look in the eye that cocked itself at Jimmy, and he did notmo!e far from the door. #is fingers rested easily on the handle

behind him. #e did not think it -robable that Jimmy could ha!eheard of his !isit to )rs. Pett, but there had been somethingmenacing in the latter1s !oice, and he belie!ed in safety first.

3They told me )iss "hester *as here,3 he said by *ay of relaingany -ossible strain there might be in the situation.

3nd *hat the de!il do you *ant *ith )iss "hester, you slimy,cra*ling second'story'*orker, you damned, oily yegg73 enuiredJimmy.

The sunniest o-timist could not ha!e deluded himself into thebelief that the *ords *ere s-oken in a friendly and genials-irit. (ord Wisbeach1s fingers tightened on the door'handle, andhe gre* a little flushed about the cheek'bones.

3What1s all this about73 he said.

30ou infernal crook43

(ord Wisbeach looked anious.

3&on1t shout like that4 re you cra+y7 &o you *ant -eo-le tohear73

Jimmy dre* a dee- breath.

3% shall ha!e to get further a*ay from you,3 he said moreuietly. 3There1s no kno*ing *hat may ha--en if % don1t. % don1t*ant to kill you. t least, % do, but % had better not.3

#e retired slo*ly until brought to a halt by the *riting'desk. Tothis he anchored himself *ith a firm gri-. #e *as etremelyanious to do nothing rash, and the s-ectacle of Gentleman Jackin!ited rashness. #e leaned against the desk, clutching itssolidity *ith both hands. (ord Wisbeach held steadfastly to thedoor'handle. nd in this tense fashion the inter!ie* -roceeded.



3)iss "hester,3 said Jimmy, forcing himself to s-eak calmly, 3hasjust been telling me that she has -romised to marry you.3

38uite true,3 said (ord Wisbeach. 3%t *ill be announcedto'morro*.3 remark trembled on his li-s, to the effect that herelied on Jimmy for a fish'slice, but -rudence ke-t it uns-oken.#e *as unable at -resent to understand Jimmy1s emotion. Why Jimmyshould object to his being engaged to nn, he could not imagine.But it *as -lain that for some reason he had taken the thing toheart, and, dearly as he lo!ed a bit of uiet fun, (ord Wisbeachdecided that the other *as at least si inches too tall and fifty-ounds too hea!y to be bantered in his -resent mood by one of hiso*n -hysiue. 3Why not73

3%t *on1t be announced to'morro*,3 said Jimmy. 3Because byto'morro* you *ill be as far a*ay from here as you can get, ifyou ha!e any sense.3

3What do you mean73

3Just this. %f you ha!en1t left this house by breakfast timeto'morro*, % shall e-ose you.3

(ord Wisbeach *as not feeling -articularly ha--y, but he laughedat this.

30ou43

3That1s *hat % said.3

3Who do you think you are, to go about e-osing -eo-le73

3% ha--en to be )rs. Pett1s ne-he*, Jimmy "rocker.3

(ord Wisbeach laughed again.

3%s that the line you are going to take73

3%t is.3

30ou are going to )rs. Pett to tell her that you are Jimmy"rocker and that % am a crook and that you only -retended torecognise me for reasons of your o*n73

3Just that.3

35orget it43 (ord Wisbeach had forgotten to be alarmed in hisamusement. #e smiled broadly. 3%1m not saying it1s not good stuffto -ull, but it1s old stuff no*. %1m sorry for you, but % thoughtof it before you did. % *ent to )rs. Pett directly after lunchand s-rang that line of talk myself. &o you think she1ll belie!eyou after that7 % tell you %1m ace'high *ith that dame. 0oucan1t ueer me *ith her.3

3% think % can. 5or the sim-le reason that % really am Jimmy"rocker.3



30es, you are.3

3Eactly. 0es, % am.3

(ord Wisbeach smiled tolerantly.

3%t *as *orth trying the bluff, % guess, but it *on1t *ork. %kno* you1d be glad to get me out of this house, but you1!e got tomake a better -lay than that to do it.3

3&on1t decei!e yourself *ith the idea that %1m bluffing. (ookhere.3 #e suddenly remo!ed his coat and thre* it to (ordWisbeach. 3$ead the tailor1s label inside the -ocket. 2ee thename. lso the address. 1J. "rocker. &redale #ouse. Gros!enor2uare. (ondon.13

(ord Wisbeach -icked u- the garment and looked as directed. #isface turned a little sallo*er, but he still fought against hisgro*ing con!iction.

3That1s no -roof.3

3Perha-s not. But, *hen you consider the re-utation of the tailor*hose name is on the label, it1s hardly likely that he *ould bestanding in *ith an im-ostor, is it7 %f you *ant real -roof, %ha!e no doubt that there are half a do+en men *orking on the<"hronicle< *ho can identify me. 6r are you con!inced already73

(ord Wisbeach ca-itulated.

3% don1t kno* *hat fool game you think you1re -laying, but %can1t see *hy you couldn1t ha!e told me this *hen *e *ere talkingafter lunch.3

3/e!er mind. % had my reasons. They don1t matter. What matters isthat you are going to get out of here to'morro*. &o youunderstand that73

3% get you.3

3Then that1s about all, % think. &on1t let me kee- you.3

32ay, listen.3 Gentleman Jack1s !oice *as -lainti!e. 3% think youmight gi!e a fello* a chance to get out good. Gi!e me time toha!e a guy in )ontreal send me a telegram telling me to go u-there right a*ay. 6ther*ise you might just as *ell -ut the co-s

on me at once. The old lady kno*s %1!e got business in "anada.0ou don1t need to be rough on a fello*.3

Jimmy -ondered this -oint.

3ll right. % don1t object to that.3

3Thanks.3

3&on1t start anything, though.3



3% don1t kno* *hat you mean.3

Jimmy -ointed to the safe.

3"ome, come, friend of my youth. We ha!e no secrets from eachother. % kno* you1re after *hat1s in there, and you kno* that %kno*. % don1t *ant to har- on it, but you1ll be s-ending to'nightin the house, and % think you had better make u- your mind tos-end it in your room, getting a nice slee- to -re-are you foryour journey. &o you follo* me, old friend73

3% get you.3

3That *ill be all then, % think. Wind a smile around your neckand recede.3

The door slammed. (ord Wisbeach had restrained his feelingssuccessfully during the inter!ie*, but he could not deny himselfthat slight e-ression of them. Jimmy crossed the room and took

his coat from the chair *here the other had dro--ed it. s he didso a !oice s-oke.

32ay43

Jimmy s-un round. The room *as a--arently em-ty. The thing *asbeginning to assume an uncanny as-ect, *hen the !oice s-okeagain.

30ou think you1re darned funny, don1t you73

%t came from abo!e. Jimmy had forgotten the gallery. #e directedhis ga+e thither, and -ercei!ed the hea!y face of 6gden hangingo!er the rail like a gargoyle.

3What are you doing there73 he demanded.

3(istening.3

3#o* did you get there73

3There1s a door back here that you get to from the stairs. %often come here for a uiet cigarette. 2ay, you think yourselfsome josher, don1t you, telling me you *ere a kidna--er4 0oustrung me like an onion. 2o you1re really Jimmy "rocker afterall7 Where *as the sense in -ulling all that stuff about takingme a*ay and di!!ying u- the ransom7 *, you make me tired43

The head *as *ithdra*n, and Jimmy heard hea!y ste-s follo*ed bythe banging of a door. Peace reigned in the library.

Jimmy sat do*n in the chair *hich *as )r. Pett1s fa!ourite and*hich 6gden *as accustomed to occu-y to that gentleman1sdis-leasure. The s*iftness of recent e!ents had left him a littledi++y, and he desired to think matters o!er and find out eactly*hat had ha--ened.



The only -oint *hich a--eared absolutely clear to him in a *elterof confusing occurrences *as the fact that he had lost the chanceof kidna--ing 6gden. E!erything had arranged itself sobeautifully sim-ly and con!eniently as regarded that !entureuntil a moment ago9 but no* that the boy had disco!ered hisidentity it *as im-ossible for him to attem-t it. #e *as loth toacce-t this fact. 2urely, e!en no*, there *as a *ay . . .

8uite suddenly an admirable -lan occurred to him. %t in!ol!ed theco'o-eration of his father. nd at that thought he realised *itha start that life had been mo!ing so ra-idly for him since hisreturn to the house that he had not -aid any attention at all to*hat *as really as ama+ing a mystery as any. #e had been too busyto *onder *hy his father *as there.

#e debated the best method of getting in touch *ith him. %t *asout of the uestion to descend to the -antry or *here!er it *asthat his father li!ed in this ne* incarnation of his. Then theha--y thought struck him that results might be obtained by thesim-le -rocess of ringing the bell. %t might -roduce some other

unit of the domestic staff. #o*e!er, it *as *orth trying. #e rangthe bell.

fe* moments later the door o-ened. Jimmy looked u-. %t *as nothis father. %t *as a dangerous'looking female of uncertain age,dressed as a -arlour'maid, *ho eyed him *ith *hat seemed to hisconscience'stricken soul dislike and sus-icion. 2he had atight'li--ed mouth and beady eyes beneath hea!y bro*s. Jimmy hadseldom seen a *oman *ho attracted him less at first sight.

3Jer ring, 2173

Jimmy blinked and almost ducked. The *ords had come at him like a-rojectile.

36h, ah, yes.3

3J1 *ant anything, s173

With an effort Jimmy induced his mind to resume its interru-tedeuilibrium.

36h, ah, yes. Would you mind sending 2kinner the butler to me.3

301s1r.3

The a--arition !anished. Jimmy dre* out his handkerchief and

dabbed at his forehead. #e felt *eak and guilty. #e felt as if hehad just been accused of nameless crimes and had been unable todeny the charge. 2uch *as the magic of )iss Trimble1s eye''theleft one, *hich looked directly at its object. "onjecture -ausesbaffled at the thought of the effect *hich her ga+e might ha!ecreated in the breasts of the se she des-ised, had it beendouble instead of single'barrelled. But half of it had *asteditself on a s-ot some fe* feet to his right.

Presently the door o-ened again, and )r. "rocker a--eared,



looking like a bene!olent -riest.

"#PTE$ >%>

BETWEE/ 5T#E$ /& 26/

3Well, 2kinner, my man,3 said Jimmy, 3ho* goes it73

)r. "rocker looked about him cautiously. Then his -riestly mannerfell from him like a robe, and he bounded for*ard.

3Jimmy43 he eclaimed, sei+ing his son1s hand and shaking it!iolently. 32ay, it1s great seeing you again, Jim43

Jimmy dre* himself u- haughtily.

32kinner, my good menial, you forget yourself strangely4 0ou *illbe getting fired if you mitt the handsome guest in this chummy

fashion43 #e sla--ed his father on the back. 3&ad, this is great4#o* on earth do you come to be here7 What1s the idea7 Why thebuttling7 When did you come o!er7 Tell me all43

)r. "rocker hoisted himself nimbly onto the *riting'desk, and satthere, beaming, *ith dangling legs.

3%t *as your letter that did it, Jimmy. 2ay, Jim, there *asn1tany need for you to do a thing like that just for me.3

3Well, % thought you *ould ha!e a better chance of being a -eer*ithout me around. By the *ay, dad, ho* did my ste-'mother takethe (ord Percy e-isode73

shado* fell u-on )r. "rocker1s ha--y face.

3% don1t like to do much thinking about your ste-'mother,3 hesaid. 32he *as -retty sore about Percy. nd she *as -retty soreabout your lighting out for merica. But, gee4 *hat she must befeeling like no* that %1!e come o!er, % daren1t let myselfthink.3

30ou ha!en1t e-lained that yet. Why did you come o!er73

3Well, %1d been feeling homesick''% al*ays do o!er there in thebaseball season''and then talking *ith Pett made it *orse''3

3Talking *ith Pett7 &id you see him, then, *hen he *as in(ondon73

32ee him7 % let him in43

3#o*73

3%nto the house, % mean. % had just gone to the front door to see*hat sort of a day it *as''% *anted to kno* if there had beenenough rain in the night to sto- my ha!ing to *atch that cricket



game''and just as % got there the bell rang. % o-ened the door.3

3 re!oltingly -lebeian thing to do4 %1m ashamed of you, dad4They *on1t stand for that sort of thing in the #ouse of (ords43

3Well, before % kne* *hat *as ha--ening they had taken me for thebutler. % didn1t *ant your ste-'mother to kno* %1d been o-eningdoors''you remember ho* touchy she *as al*ays about it so % justlet it go at that and jollied them along. But % just couldn1thel- asking the old man ho* the -ennant race *as making out, andthat tickled him so much that he offered me a job here as butlerif % e!er *anted to make a change. nd then your note came sayingthat you *ere going to /e* 0ork, and''*ell, % couldn1t hel-myself. 0ou couldn1t ha!e ke-t me in (ondon *ith ro-es. % sneakedout net day and bought a -assage on the <"armantic<''she sailedthe Wednesday after you left''and came straight here. They ga!eme this job right a*ay.3 )r. "rocker -aused, and a holy light ofenthusiasm made his homely features almost beautiful. 32ay, Jim,%1!e seen a ball'game e!ery darned day since % landed4 2ay, t*odays running (arry &oyle made home'runs4 But, gosh4 that guy ;lem

is one s*ell robber4 2ee here43 )r. "rocker s-rang do*n from thedesk, and snatched u- a handful of books, *hich he -roceeded todistribute about the floor. 3There *ere t*o men on bases in thesith and What1s'his'name came to bat. #e lined one out tocentre'field''*here this book is''and''3

3Pull yourself together, 2kinner4 0ou can1t monkey about *ith theem-loyer1s library like that.3 Jimmy restored the books to their-laces. 32immer do*n and tell me more. Post-one the gossi- fromthe diamond. What -lans ha!e you made7 #a!e you considered thefuture at all7 0ou aren1t going to hold do*n this buttling jobfore!er, are you7 When do you go back to (ondon73

The light died out of )r. "rocker1s face.

3% guess % shall ha!e to go back some time. But ho* can % yet,*ith the Giants leading the league like this73

3But did you just light out *ithout saying anything73

3% left a note for your ste-'mother telling her % had gone tomerica for a !acation. Jimmy, % hate to think *hat she1s goingto do to me *hen she gets me back43

3ssert yourself, dad4 Tell her that *oman1s -lace is the homeand man1s the ball'-ark4 Be firm43

)r. "rocker shook his head dubiously.

3%t1s all !ery *ell to talk that *ay *hen you1re three thousandmiles from home, but you kno* as *ell as % do, Jim, that yourste-'mother, though she1s a delightful *oman, isn1t the sort youcan assert yourself *ith. (ook at this sister of hers here. %guess you ha!en1t been in the house long enough to ha!e noticed,but she1s !ery like Eugenia in some *ays. 2he1s the boss allright, and old Pett does just *hat he1s told to. % guess it1s thesame *ith me, Jim. There1s a certain ty-e of man that1s just born



to ha!e it -ut o!er on him by a certain ty-e of *oman. %1m thatsort of man and your ste-mother1s that sort of *oman. /o, % guess%1m going to get mine all right, and the only thing to do is tokee- it from sto--ing me ha!ing a good time no*.3

There *as truth in *hat he said, and Jimmy recognised it. #echanged the subject.

3Well, ne!er mind that. There1s no sense in *orrying oneselfabout the future. Tell me, dad, *here did you get all the1dinner'is'ser!ed, madam1 stuff7 #o* did you e!er learn to be abutler73

3Bayliss taught me back in (ondon. nd, of course, %1!e -layedbutlers *hen % *as on the stage.3

Jimmy did not s-eak for a moment.

3&id you e!er -lay a kidna--er, dad73 he asked at length.

32ure. % *as "hicago Ed. in a crook -lay called 1This Way 6ut.1Why, surely you sa* me in that7 % got some good notices.3

Jimmy nodded.

36f course. % kne* %1d seen you -lay that sort of -art some time.0ou came on during the dark scene and''3

3''s*itched on the lights and''3

3''co!ered the bunch *ith your gun *hile they *ere stillblinking4 0ou *ere great in that -art, dad.3

3%t *as a good -art,3 said )r. "rocker modestly. 3%t had fat. %1dlike to ha!e a chance to -lay a kidna--er again. There1s a lot of-e- to kidna--ers.3

30ou <shall< -lay one again,3 said Jimmy. 3% am -utting on a littlesketch *ith a kidna--er as the star -art.3

3Eh7 sketch7 0ou, Jim7 Where73

3#ere. %n this house. %t is entitled 1;idna--ing 6gden1 and o-ensto'night.3

)r. "rocker looked at his only son in concern. Jimmy a--eared tohim to be rambling.

3mateur theatricals73 he ha+arded.

3%n the sense that there is no -ay for -erforming, yes. &ad, youkno* that kid 6gden u-stairs7 Well, it1s uite sim-le. % *ant youto kidna- him for me.3

)r. "rocker sat do*n hea!ily. #e shook his head.

3% don1t follo* all this.3



36f course not. % ha!en1t begun to e-lain. &ad, in your ramblesthrough this joint you1!e noticed a girl *ith glorious red'goldhair, % imagine73

3nn "hester73

3nn "hester. %1m going to marry her.3

3Jimmy43

3But she doesn1t kno* it yet. /o*, follo* me carefully, dad. 5i!eyears ago nn "hester *rote a book of -oems. %t1s on that deskthere. 0ou *ere using it a moment back as second'base orsomething. /o*, % *as *orking at that time on the <"hronicle<. %*rote a skit on those -oems for the 2unday -a-er. &o you begin tofollo* the -lot73

32he1s got it in for you7 2he1s sore73

3Eactly. Get that firmly fied in your mind, because it1s thesource from *hich all the rest of the story s-rings.3

)r. "rocker interru-ted.

3But % don1t understand. 0ou say she1s sore at you. Well, ho* isit that you came in together looking as if you *ere good friends*hen % let you in this morning73

3% *as *aiting for you to ask that. The e-lanation is that shedoesn1t kno* that % am Jimmy "rocker.3

3But you came here saying that you *ere Jimmy "rocker.3

38uite right. nd that is *here the -lot thickens. % made nn1sacuaintance first in (ondon and then on the boat. % had foundout that Jimmy "rocker *as the man she hated most in the *orld,so % took another name. % called myself Bayliss.3

3Bayliss43

3% had to think of something uick, because the clerk at theshi--ing office *as *aiting to fill in my ticket. % had just beentalking to Bayliss on the -hone and his *as the only name thatcame into my mind. 0ou kno* ho* it is *hen you try to think of aname suddenly. /o* mark the seuel. 6ld Bayliss came to see meoff at Paddington. nn *as there and sa* me. 2he said 1Good

e!ening, )r. Bayliss1 or something, and naturally old Baylissre-lied 1What ho41 or *ords to that effect. The only *ay tohandle the situation *as to introduce him as my father. % did so.nn, therefore, thinks that % am a young man named Bayliss *hohas come o!er to merica to make his fortune. We no* come to thethird reel. % met nn by chance at the ;nickerbocker and took herto lunch. While *e *ere lunching, that confirmed congenitalidiot, $eggie Bartling, *ho ha--ened to ha!e come o!er to mericaas *ell, came u- and called me by my name. % kne* that, if nndisco!ered *ho % really *as, she *ould ha!e nothing more to do



*ith me, so % ga!e $eggie the haughty stare and told him that hehad made a mistake. #e ambled a*ay''and -ossibly committedsuicide in his anguish at ha!ing made such a bloomer''lea!ing nndiscussing *ith me the etraordinary coincidence of my beingJimmy "rocker1s double. &o you follo* the story of my life sofar73

)r. "rocker, *ho had been listening *ith *rinkled bro* and othersigns of ra-t attention, nodded.

3% understand all that. But ho* did you come to get into thishouse73

3That is reel four. % am getting to that. %t seems that nn, *hois the s*eetest girl on earth and al*ays on the lookout to dosome one a kindness, had decided, in the interests of the boy1sfuture, to remo!e young 6gden 5ord from his -resent s-here, *herehe is being s-oiled and ruined, and send him do*n to a man on(ong %sland *ho *ould kee- him for a*hile and instil the first-rinci-les of decency into him. #er accom-lice in this admirable

scheme *as Jerry )itchell.3

3Jerry )itchell43

3Who, as you kno*, got fired yesterday. Jerry *as to ha!e donethe rough *ork of the job. But, being fired, he *as no longera!ailable. %, therefore, offered to take his -lace. 2o here %am.3

30ou1re going to kidna- that boy73

3/o. 0ou are.3

3)e43

3Precisely. 0ou are going to -lay a benefit -erformance of your*orld'famed success, "hicago Ed. (et me e-lain further. 6*ing tocircumstances *hich % need not go into, 6gden has found out that% am really Jimmy "rocker, so he refuses to ha!e anything more todo *ith me. % had decei!ed him into belie!ing that % *as a-rofessional kidna--er, and he came to me and offered to let mekidna- him if % *ould go fifty'fifty *ith him in the ransom43

3Gosh43

30es, he1s an intelligent child, full of that sort of brightideas. Well, no* he has found that % am not all his fancy -ainted

me, he *ouldn1t come a*ay *ith me9 and % *ant you to understudyme *hile the going is good. %n the fifth reel, *hich *ill bereleased to'night after the household has retired to rest, you*ill be featured. %t1s got to be tonight, because it has justoccurred to me that 6gden, kno*ing that (ord Wisbeach is a crook,may go to him *ith the same -ro-osal that he made to me.3

3(ord Wisbeach a crook43

36f the *orst descri-tion. #e is here to steal that e-losi!e



stuff of Willie Partridge1s. But as % ha!e blocked that -lay, hemay turn his attention to 6gden.3

3But, Jimmy, if that fello* is a crook''ho* do you kno* he is73

3#e told me so himself.3

3Well, then, *hy don1t you e-ose him73

3Because in order to do so, 2kinner my man, % should ha!e toe-lain that % *as really Jimmy "rocker, and the time is not yetri-e for that. To my thinking, the time *ill not be ri-e till youha!e got safely a*ay *ith 6gden 5ord. % can then go to nn andsay 1% may ha!e -layed you a rotten trick in the -ast, but % ha!edone you a good turn no*, so let1s forget the -ast41 2o you seethat e!erything no* de-ends on you, dad. %1m not asking you to doanything difficult. %1ll go round to the boarding'house no* andtell Jerry )itchell about *hat *e ha!e arranged, and ha!e him*aiting outside here in a car. Then all you *ill ha!e to do is togo to 6gden, -lay a short scene as "hicago Ed., escort him to the

car, and then go back to bed and ha!e a good slee-. 6nce 6gdenthinks you are a -rofessional kidna--er, you *on1t ha!e anydifficulty at all. Get it into your head that he *ants to bekidna--ed. 2urely you can tackle this light and attracti!e job7Why, it *ill be a treat for you to do a bit of character actingonce more43

Jimmy had struck the right note. #is father1s eyes began to gleam*ith ecitement. The scent of the footlights seemed to dilate hisnostrils.

3% *as al*ays good at that rough'neck stuff,3 he murmuredmeditati!ely. 3% used to eat it43

3Eactly,3 said Jimmy. 3(ook at it in the right *ay, and % amdoing you a kindness in gi!ing you this chance.3

)r. "rocker rubbed his cheek *ith his forefinger.

30ou1d *ant me to make u- for the -art73 he asked *istfully.

36f course43

30ou *ant me to do it to'night73

3t about t*o in the morning, % thought.3

3%1ll do it, Jim43

Jimmy gras-ed his hand.

3% kne* % could rely on you, dad.3

)r. "rocker *as follo*ing a train of thought.

3&ark *ig . . . blue chin . . . hea!y eyebro*s . . . % guess %can1t do better than my old "hicago Ed. make'u-. 2ay, Jimmy, ho*



am % to get to the kid73

3That1ll be all right. 0ou can stay in my room till the timecomes to go to him. se it as a dressing'room.3

3#o* am % to get him out of the house73

3Through this room. %1ll tell Jerry to *ait out on theside'street *ith the car from t*o o1clock on.3

)r. "rocker considered these arrangements.

3That seems to be about all,3 he said.

3% don1t think there1s anything else.3

3%1ll sli- do*nto*n and buy the -ro-s.3

3%1ll go and tell Jerry.3

thought struck )r. "rocker.

30ou1d better tell Jerry to make u-, too. #e doesn1t *ant the kidrecognising him and suealing on him later.3

Jimmy *as lost in admiration of his father1s resource.

30ou think of e!erything, dad4 That *ouldn1t ha!e occurred to me.0ou certainly do take to "rime in the most *onderful *ay. %tseems to come naturally to you43

)r. "rocker smirked modestly.

"#PTE$ >>

"E(E2T%/E %)P$T2 %/56$)T%6/

Plit is only as strong as its *eakest link. The best'laid schemesof mice and men gang agley if one of the mice is a mentaldefecti!e or if one of the men is a Jerry )itchell. . . .

"elestine, )rs. Pett1s maid''she *ho *as really )aggie 61Tooleand *hom Jerry lo!ed *ith a strength *hich de-ri!ed him of e!enthat small amount of intelligence *hich had been besto*ed u-onhim by /ature''came into the house'kee-er1s room at about ten

o1clock that night. The domestic staff had gone in a body to themo!ing'-ictures, and the only occu-ant of the room *as the ne*-arlourmaid, *ho *as sitting in a hard chair, reading2cho-enhauer.

"elestine1s face *as flushed, her dark hair *as ruffled, and hereyes *ere shining. 2he breathed a little uickly, and her lefthand *as out of sight behind her back. 2he eyed the ne*-arlour'maid doubtfully for a moment. The latter *as a *oman ofsome*hat unencouraging eterior, not the kind that in!ites



confidences. But "elestine had confidences to besto*, and theeodus to the mo!ies had left her in a -osition *here she couldnot -ick and choose. 2he *as faced *ith the alternati!e oflocking her secret in her -al-itating bosom or of re!ealing it tothis one auditor. The choice *as one *hich no im-ulsi!e damsel inlike circumstances *ould ha!e hesitated to make.

32ay43 said "elestine.

face rose reluctantly from behind 2cho-enhauer. gleaming eyemet "elestine1s. second eye no less gleaming glared at theceiling.

32ay, % just been talking to my feller outside,3 said "elestine*ith a coy sim-er. 32ay, he1s a grand man43

snort of uncom-romising disa--ro!al -roceeded from thethin'li--ed mouth beneath the eyes. But "elestine *as too full ofher ne*s to be discouraged.

3%1m strong fer Jer43 she said.

3#uh73 said the student of 2cho-enhauer.

3Jerry )itchell, you kno*. 0ou ain1t ne!er met him, ha!e you72ay, he1s a grand man43

5or the first time she had the other1s undi!ided attention. Thene* -arlour'maid -laced her book u-on the table.

3h73 she said.

"elestine could hold back her dramatic sur-rise no longer. #erconcealed left hand flashed into !ie*. 6n the third fingerglittered a ring. 2he ga+ed at it *ith a*ed affection.

3in1t it a beaut43

2he contem-lated its s-arkling -erfection for a moment inra-turous silence.

32ay, you could ha!e knocked me do*n *ith a feather43 sheresumed. 3#e tele-hones me a*hile ago and says to be outside theback door at ten to'night, because he1d something he *anted totell me. 6f course he couldn1t come in and tell it me here,because he1d been fired and e!erything. 2o % goes out, and therehe is. 1#ello, kid41 he says to me. 15resh41 % says to him.

12ay, % got something to be fresh about41 he says to me. nd thenhe reaches into his jeans and hauls out the s-arkler. 1What1sthat71 % says to him. 1%t1s an engagement ring,1 he says to me.15or you, if you1ll *ear it41 % came o!er so *eak, % could ha!efell4 nd the net thing % kno* he1s got it on my finger and''3"elestine broke off modestly. 32ay, ain1t it a beaut, honest432he ga!e herself o!er to contem-lation once more. 3#e says to meho* he1s on Easy 2treet no*, or *ill be -retty soon. % says tohim 1#a!e you got a job, then71 #e says to me 1/o*, % ain1t got ajob, but %1m going to -ull off a stunt to'night that1s going to



mean enough to me to start that health'farm %1!e told you about.12ay, he1s al*ays had a line of talk about starting a health'farmdo*n on (ong %sland, he kno*ing all about training and health ande!erything through ha!ing been one of them fighters. % asks him*hat the stunt is, but he *on1t tell me yet. #e says he1ll tellme after *e1re married, but he says it1s sure'fire and he1s goingto buy the license tomorro*.3

2he -aused for comment and congratulations, eyeing her com-anione-ectantly.

3#uh43 said the ne* -arlour'maid briefly, and resumed her2cho-enhauer. &ecidedly hers *as not a *inning -ersonality.

3in1t it a beaut73 demanded "elestine, dam-ed.

The ne* -arlour'maid uttered a curious sound at the back of herthroat.

3#e1s a beaut43 she said cry-tically.

2he added another remark in a lo*er tone, too lo* for "elestine1sears. %t could hardly ha!e been that, but it sounded to "elestinelike:

3%1ll fi 1m43

"#PTE$ >>%

"#%"G6 E&.

$i!erside &ri!e sle-t. The moon shone on darkened *indo*s anddeserted side*alks. %t *as -ast one o1clock in the morning. The*icked 5orties *ere still abla+e *ith light and noisy fotrots9but in the !irtuous #undreds, *here )r. Pett1s house stood,res-ectable slumber reigned. 6nly the occasional drone of a-assing automobile broke the silence, or the lo!e'sick cry ofsome feline $omeo -atrolling a *all'to-.

Jimmy *as a*ake. #e *as sitting on the edge of his bed *atchinghis father -ut the finishing touches to his make'u-, *hich *as ofa shaggy and intimidating nature. The elder "rocker had concei!edthe out*ard as-ect of "hicago Ed., ;ing of the ;idna--ers, onbroad and im-ressi!e lines, and one glance *ould ha!e been enoughto tell the sagacious obser!er that here *as no *hite'souled

comrade for a nocturnal saunter do*n lonely lanes andout'of'the'*ay alleys.

)r. "rocker seemed to feel this himself.

3The only trouble is, Jim,3 he said, -eering at himself in theglass, 3shan1t % scare the boy to death directly he sees me76ughtn1t % to gi!e him some sort of *arning73

3#o*7 &o you suggest sending him a formal note73



)r. "rocker sur!eyed his re-ellent features doubtfully.

3%t1s a good deal to s-ring on a kid at one in the morning,3 hesaid. 32u--ose he has a fit43

3#e1s far more likely to gi!e you one. &on1t you *orry about6gden, dad. % shouldn1t think there *as a child ali!e more eualto handling such a situation.3

There *as an em-ty glass standing on a tray on thedressing'table. )r. "rocker eyed this sadly.

3% *ish you hadn1t thro*n that stuff a*ay, Jim. % could ha!e done*ith it. %1m feeling ner!ous.3

3/onsense, dad4 0ou1re all right4 % had to thro* it a*ay. %1m onthe *agon no*, but ho* long % should ha!e stayed on *ith thatsmiling u- at me % don1t kno*. %1!e made u- my mind ne!er tolo*er myself to the le!el of the beasts that -erish *ith the

demon $um again, because my future *ife has strong !ie*s on thesubject: but there1s no sense in taking chances. Tem-tation isall !ery *ell, but you don1t need it on your dressing'table. %t*as a kindly thought of yours to -lace it there, dad, but''3

3Eh7 % didn1t -ut it there.3

3% thought that sort of thing came in your de-artment. %sn1t itthe butler1s job to su--ly drinks to the nobility and gentry7Well, it doesn1t matter. %t is no* distributed o!er theneighbouring soil, thus remo!ing a -o*erful tem-tation from your-ath. 0ou1re better *ithout it.3 #e looked at his *atch. 3Well,it ought to be all right no*.3 #e *ent to the *indo*. 3There1s anautomobile do*n there. % su--ose it1s Jerry. % told him to beoutside at one shar- and it1s nearly half'-ast. % think you mightbe starting, dad. 6h, by the *ay, you had better tell 6gden thatyou re-resent a gentleman of the name of Buck )aginnis. %t *asBuck *ho got a*ay *ith him last time, and a firm friendshi- seemsto'ha!e s-rung u- bet*een them. There1s nothing like coming *itha good introduction.3

)r. "rocker took a final sur!ey of himself in the mirror.

3Gee % %1d hate to meet myself on a lonely road43

#e o-ened the door, and stood for a moment listening.

5rom some*here do*n the -assage came the murmur of a muffledsnore.

3Third door on the left,3 said Jimmy. 3Three''count 1em4''three.&on1t go getting mied.3

)r. "rocker slid into the outer darkness like a stout ghost, andJimmy closed the door gently behind him.

#a!ing launched his indulgent -arent safely on a career of crime,



Jimmy s*itched off the light and returned to the *indo*. (eaningout, he ga!e himself u- for a moment to sentimental musings. Thenight *as !ery still. Through the trees *hich flanked the housethe dimmed headlights of *hat *as -resumably Jerry )itchell1shired car shone faintly like enlarged fire'flies. boat of somedescri-tion *as tooting reflecti!ely far do*n the ri!er. 2uch *asthe seducti!e influence of the time and the scene that Jimmymight ha!e remained there indefinitely, *ea!ing dreams, had henot been under the necessity of making his *ay do*n to thelibrary. %t *as his task to close the 5rench *indo*s after hisfather and 6gden had -assed through, and he -ro-osed to remainhid in the gallery there until the time came for him to do this.%t *as im-erati!e that he a!oid being seen by 6gden.

(ocking his door behind him, he *ent do*nstairs. There *ere nosigns of life in the house. E!erything *as still. #e found thestaircase leading to the gallery *ithout ha!ing to s*itch on thelights.

%t *as dusty in the gallery, and a smell of old leather en!elo-ed

him. #e ho-ed his father *ould not be long. #e lo*ered himselfcautiously to the floor, and, resting his head against acon!enient shelf, began to *onder ho* the inter!ie* bet*een"hicago Ed. and his -rey *as -rogressing.

H H H H H

)r. "rocker, mean*hile, masked to the eyes, had cre-t in fearfulsilence to the door *hich Jimmy had indicated. good deal of thegay enthusiasm *ith *hich he had embarked on this enter-rise hadebbed a*ay from him. /o* that he had become accustomed to theno!elty of finding himself once more -laying a character -art,his intimate res-ectability began to assert itself. %t *as onething to -lay "hicago Ed. at a Broad*ay theatre, but uite anotherto gi!e a benefit -erformance like this. s he ti-'toed along the-assage, the one thing that -resented itself most clearly to him*as the a--alling outcome of this act of his, should anything go*rong. #e *ould ha!e turned back, but for the thought that Jimmy*as de-ending on him and that success *ould mean Jimmy1sha--iness. 2timulated by this reflection, he o-ened 6gden1s doorinch by inch and *ent in. #e stole softly across the room.

#e had almost reached the bed, and had just begun to *onder ho*on earth, no* that he *as there, he could o-en the -roceedingstactfully and *ithout alarming the boy, *hen he *as sa!ed thetrouble of -ondering further on this -roblem. light flashed outof the darkness *ith the suddenness of a bursting bomb, and a

!oice from the same general direction said 3#ands u-43

When )r. "rocker had finished blinking and had adjusted his eyesto the glare, he -ercei!ed 6gden sitting u- in bed *ith are!ol!er in his hand. The re!ol!er *as resting on his knee, andits mu++le -ointed directly at )r. "rocker1s am-le stomach.

Ehausti!e as had been the thought *hich Jimmy1s father had gi!ento the -ossible de!elo-ments of his enter-rise, this *as acontingency of *hich he had not dreamed. #e *as entirely at a



loss.

3&on1t do that43 he said huskily. 3%t might go off43

3% should *orry43 re-lied 6gden coldly. 3%1m at the right end ofit. What are you doing here73 #e looked fondly at the lethal*ea-on. 3% got this *ith cigarette'cou-ons, to shoot rabbits *hen*e *ent to the country. #ere1s *here % get a chance at something-art'human.3

3&o you *ant to murder me73

3Why not73

)r. "rocker1s make'u- *as trickling do*n his face in stickystreams. The mask, ho*e!er, -re!ented 6gden from seeing this-eculiar -henomenon. #e *as ga+ing interestedly at his !isitor.n idea struck him.

32ay, did you come to kidna- me73

)r. "rocker felt the sense of relief *hich he had sometimese-erienced on the stage *hen memory had failed him during ascene and a fello*'actor had thro*n him the line. %t *ould beeaggerating to say that he *as himself again. #e could ne!er becom-letely at his case *ith that -istol -ointing at him9 but hefelt considerably better. #e lo*ered his !oice an octa!e or so,and s-oke in a husky gro*l.

3*, cheese it, kid. /i on the rough stuff43

3;ee- those hands u-43 ad!ised 6gden.

32ure4 2ure43 gro*led )r. "rocker. 3"an the gun'-lay, bo4 2ay,you1!e soitanly gro*n since de last time *e got youse43

6gden1s manner became magically friendly.

3re you one of Buck )aginnis1 lot73 he enuired almost -olitely.

3&at1s right43 )r. "rocker blessed the ins-iration *hich had-rom-ted Jimmy1s -arting *ords. 3%1m *it Buck.3

3Why didn1t Buck come himself73

3#e1s *oiking on anudder job43

To )r. "rocker1s -rofound relief 6gden lo*ered the -istol.

3%1m strong for Buck,3 he said con!ersationally. 3We1re old -als.&id you see the -iece in the -a-er about him kidna--ing me lasttime7 %1!e got it in my -ress'cli--ing album.3

32ure,3 said )r. "rocker.

32ay, listen. %f you take me no*, Buck1s got to come across. %like Buck, but %1m not going to let myself be kidna--ed for his



benefit. %t1s fifty'fifty, or nothing doing. 2ee73

3% get you, kid.3

3Well, if that1s understood, all right. Gi!e me a minute to getsome clothes on, and %1ll be *ith you.3

3&on1t make a noise,3 said )r. "rocker.

3Who1s making any noise7 2ay, ho* did you get in here73

3T1roo de libery *indo*s.3

3% al*ays kne* some yegg *ould stroll in that *ay. %t beats me*hy they didn1t ha!e bars fied on them.3

3&ere1s a bu++'*agon outside, *aitin1.3

30ou do it in style, don1t you73 obser!ed 6gden, -ulling on hisshirt. 3Who1s *orking this *ith you7 ny one % kno*73

3/a*. ne* guy.3

36h7 2ay, % don1t remember you, if it comes to that.3

30ou don1t73 said )r. "rocker a little discom-osed.

3Well, maybe % *ouldn1t, *ith that mask on you. Which of thernare you73

3"hicago Ed.1s my monaker.3

3% don1t remember any "hicago Ed.3

3Well, you *ill after dis43 said )r. "rocker, ha--ily ins-ired.

6gden *as eyeing him *ith sudden sus-icion.

3Take that mask off and let1s ha!e a look at you.3

3/othing doin1.3

3#o* am % to kno* you1re on the le!el73

)r. "rocker -layed a daring card.

3ll right,3 he said, making a mo!e to*ards the door. 3%t1s u- to

youse. %f you t1ink %1m not on de le!el, %1ll beat it.3

3#ere, sto- a minute,3 said 6gden hastily, un*illing that a-romising business deal should be abandoned in this summarymanner. 3%1m not saying anything against you. There1s no need tofly off the handle like that.3

3%1ll tell Buck % couldn1t get you,3 said )r. "rocker, mo!inganother ste-.



3#ere, sto-4 What1s the matter *ith you73

3re youse comin1 *it me73

32ure, if you get the conditions. Buck1s got to sli- me half of*hate!er he gets out of this.3

3&at1s right. Buck1ll sli- youse half of anyt1ing he gets.3

3ll right, then. Wait till %1!e got this shoe on, and let1sstart. /o* %1m ready.3

3Beat it uietly.3

3What did you think % *as going to do7 2ing73

32te- dis *ay43 said )r. "rocker jocosely.

They left the room cautiously. )r. "rocker for a moment had asense of something missing. #e had reached the stairs before he

realised *hat it *as. Then it da*ned u-on him that *hat *aslacking *as the a--lause. The scene had deser!ed a round.

Jimmy, !igilant in the gallery, heard the library door o-ensoftly and, -eering o!er the rail, -ercei!ed t*o dim forms in thedarkness. 6ne *as large, the other small. They crossed the roomtogether.

Whis-ered *ords reached him.

3% thought you said you came in this *ay.3

32ure.3

3Then *hy1s the shutter closed73

3% fied it after % *as in.3

There *as a faint scra-ing sound, follo*ed by a click. Thedarkness of the room *as relie!ed by moonlight. The figures-assed through. Jimmy ran do*n from the gallery, and closed the*indo*s softly. #e had just fastened the shutters, *hen from the-assage outside there came the unmistakeable sound of a footste-.

"#PTE$ >>%%

%/ T#E (%B$$0

Jimmy1s first emotion on hearing the footste- *as the crudeinstinct of self'-reser!ation. ll that he *as able to think ofat the moment *as the fact that he *as in a uestionable -ositionand one *hich *ould reuire a good deal of e-laining a*ay if he*ere found, and his only sensation *as a strong desire to a!oiddisco!ery. #e made a silent, scrambling lea- for the gallerystairs, and reached their shelter just as the door o-ened. #e



stood there, rigid, *aiting to be challenged, but a--arently hehad mo!ed in time, for no !oice s-oke. The door closed so gentlyas to be almost inaudible, and then there *as silence again. Theroom remained in darkness, and it *as this -erha-s that firstsuggested to Jimmy the comforting thought that the intruder *aseually desirous of a!oiding the scrutiny of his fello*s. #e hadtaken it for granted in his first -anic that he himself *as theonly -erson in that room *hose moti!e for being there *ould notha!e borne ins-ection. But no*, safely hidden in the gallery, outof sight from the floor belo*, he had the leisure to consider thene*comer1s mo!ements and to dra* conclusions from them.

n honest man1s first act *ould surely ha!e been to s*itch on thelights. nd an honest man *ould hardly ha!e cre-t so stealthily.%t became a--arent to Jimmy, as he leaned o!er the rail and triedto -ierce the darkness, that there *as sinister *ork afoot9 andhe had hardly reached this conclusion *hen his mind took afurther lea- and he guessed the identity of the soft'footed-erson belo*. %t could be none but his old friend (ord Wisbeach,kno*n to 3the boys3 as Gentleman Jack. %t sur-rised him that he

had not thought of this before. Then it sur-rised him that, afterthe talk they had only a fe* hours earlier in that !ery room,Gentleman Jack should ha!e dared to risk this raid.

t this moment the blackness *as relie!ed as if by the strikingof a match. The man belo* had brought an electric torch into-lay, and no* Jimmy could see clearly. #e had been right in hissurmise. %t *as (ord Wisbeach. #e *as kneeling in front of thesafe. What he *as doing to the safe, Jimmy could not see, for theman1s body *as in the *ay9 but the electric torch shone on hisface, lighting u- grim, serious features uite unlike the amiableand slightly !acant mask *hich his lordshi- *as *ont to -resentto the *orld. s Jimmy looked, something ha--ened in the -ool oflight beyond his !ision. Gentleman Jack ga!e a mutteredeclamation of satisfaction, and then Jimmy sa* that the door ofthe safe had s*ung o-en. The air *as full of a -enetrating smellof scorched metal. Jimmy *as not an e-ert in these matters, buthe had read from time to time of modern burglars and theirmethods, and he gathered that an oy'acetylene blo*'-i-e, *ithits flame that cuts steel as a knife cuts cheese, had been at*ork.

(ord Wisbeach flashed the torch into the o-en safe, -lunged hishand in, and dre* it out again, holding something. #andling thisin a cautious and gingerly manner, he -laced it carefully in hisbreast -ocket. Then he straightened himself. #e s*itched off thetorch, and mo!ed to the *indo*, lea!ing the rest of his

im-lements by the o-en safe. #e unfastened the shutter, thenraised the catch of the *indo*. t this -oint it seemed to Jimmythat the time had come to interfere.

3Tut, tut43 he said in a tone of mild re-roof.

The effect of the rebuke on (ord Wisbeach *as remarkable. #ejum-ed con!ulsi!ely a*ay from the *indo*, then, re!ol!ing on hiso*n ais, flashed the torch into e!ery corner of the room.



3Who1s that73 he gas-ed.

3"onscience43 said Jimmy.

(ord Wisbeach had o!erlooked the gallery in his researches. #eno* turned his torch u-*ards. The light flooded the gallery onthe o--osite side of the room from *here Jimmy stood. There *as a-istol in Gentleman Jack1s hand no*. %t follo*ed the torchuncertainly.

Jimmy, lying flat on the gallery floor, s-oke again.

3Thro* that gun a*ay, and the torch, too,3 he said. 3%1!e got youco!ered43

The torch flashed abo!e his head, but the raised edge of thegallery rail -rotected him.

3%1ll gi!e you fi!e seconds. %f you ha!en1t dro--ed that gun bythen, % shall shoot43

s he began to count, Jimmy heartily regretted that he hadallo*ed his a--reciation of the dramatic to lead him into thissituation. %t *ould ha!e been so sim-le to ha!e roused the housein a -rosaic *ay and a!oided this delicate -osition. 2u--ose hisbluff did not succeed. 2u--ose the other still clung to his-istol at the end of the fi!e seconds. #e *ished that he had madeit ten instead. Gentleman Jack *as an enter-rising -erson, as his-re!ious acts had sho*ed. #e might !ery *ell decide to take achance. #e might e!en refuse to belie!e that Jimmy *as armed. #ehad only Jimmy1s *ord for it. Perha-s he might be as deficient insim-le faith as he had -ro!ed to be in /orman blood4 Jimmylingered lo!ingly o!er his count.

35our43 he said reluctantly.

There *as a breathless moment. Then, to Jimmy1s uns-eakablerelief, gun and torch dro--ed simultaneously to the floor. %n aninstant Jimmy *as himself again.

3Go and stand *ith your face to that *all,3 he said cris-ly.3#old your hands u-43

3Why73

3%1m going to see ho* many more guns you1!e got.3

3% ha!en1t another.3

3%1d like to make sure of that for myself. Get mo!ing43

Gentleman Jack reluctantly obeyed. When he had reached the *all,Jimmy came do*n. #e s*itched on the lights. #e felt in theother1s -ockets, and almost at once encountered something hardand metallic.

#e shook his head re-roachfully.



30ou are !ery loose and inaccurate in your statements,3 he said.3Why all these *ea-ons7 % didn1t raise my boy to be a soldier4/o* you can turn around and -ut your hands do*n.3

Gentleman Jack1s a--eared to be a -hiloso-hical nature. Thechagrin conseuent u-on his failure seemed to ha!e left him. #esat on the arm of a chair and regarded Jimmy *ithout a--arenthostility. #e e!en smiled a faint smile.

3% thought % had fied you, he said. 0ou must ha!e been smarterthan % took you for. % ne!er su--osed you *ould get on to thatdrink and -ass it u-.3

nderstanding of an incident *hich had -er-leed him came toJimmy.

3Was it you *ho -ut that high'ball in my room7 Was it do-ed73

3&idn1t you kno*73

3Well,3 said Jimmy, 3% ne!er kne* before that !irtue got itsre*ard so darned uick in this *orld. % rejected that high'ballnot because % sus-ected it but out of -ure goodness, because %had made u- my mind that % *as through *ith all that sort ofthing.3

#is com-anion laughed. %f Jimmy had had a more intimateacuaintance *ith the resourceful indi!idual *hom the 3boys3called Gentleman Jack, he *ould ha!e been disuieted by thatlaugh. %t *as an aiom among those *ho kne* him *ell, that *henGentleman Jack chuckled in the reflecti!e *ay, he generally hadsomething un-leasant u- his slee!e.

3%t1s your lucky night,3 said Gentleman Jack.

3%t looks like it.3

3Well, it isn1t o!er yet.3

3=ery nearly. 0ou had better go and -ut that test'tube back in*hat is left of the safe no*. &id you think % had forgotten it73

3What test'tube73

3"ome, come, old friend4 The one filled *ith Partridge1se-losi!e, *hich you ha!e in your breast'-ocket.3

Gentleman Jack laughed again. Then he mo!ed to*ards the safe.

3Place it gently on the to- shelf,3 said Jimmy.

The net moment e!ery ner!e in his body *as lea-ing andui!ering. great shout s-lit the air. Gentleman Jack,a--arently insane, *as gi!ing tongue at the to- of his !oice.

3#el-4 #el-4 #el-43



The con!ersation ha!ing been conducted u- to this -oint inundertones, the effect of this une-ected u-roar *as like ane-losion. The cries seemed to echo round the room and shake the!ery *alls. 5or a moment Jimmy stood -aralysed, staring feebly9then there *as a sudden deafening increase in the din. 2omethingli!ing seemed to *rithe and jum- in his hand. #e dro--ed itincontinently, and found himself ga+ing in a stu-efied *ay at around, smoking hole in the car-et. 2uch had been the effect ofGentleman Jack1s unforeseen outburst that he had uite forgottenthat he held the re!ol!er, and he had been unfortunate enough atthis juncture to -ull the trigger.

There *as a sudden rush and a s*irl of action. 2omething hitJimmy under the chin. #e staggered back, and *hen he hadreco!ered himself found himself looking into the mu++le of there!ol!er *hich had nearly blo*n a hole in his foot a moment back.The sardonic face of Gentleman Jack smiled grimly o!er thebarrel.

3% told you the night *asn1t o!er yet43 he said.

The blo* under the chin had tem-orarily dulled Jimmy1s mentality.#e stood, s*allo*ing and endea!ouring to -ull himself togetherand to get rid of a feeling that his head *as about to come off.#e backed to the desk and steadied himself against it.

s he did so, a !oice from behind him s-oke.

3Whassall this73

#e turned his head. curious -rocession *as filing in throughthe o-en 5rench *indo*. 5irst came )r. "rocker, still *earing hishideous mask9 then a hea!ily bearded indi!idual *ith rounds-ectacles, *ho looked like an automobile coming through ahaystack9 then 6gden 5ord, and finally a sturdy,determined'looking *oman *ith glittering but -oorly co'ordinatedeyes, *ho held a large re!ol!er in her unshaking right hand andlooked the !ery embodiment of the modern female *ho *ill stand nononsense. %t *as -art of the nightmare'like atmos-here *hichseemed to brood ineorably o!er this -articular night that this-erson looked to Jimmy eactly like the -arlour'maid *ho had cometo him in this room in ans*er to the bell and *ho had sent hisfather to him. 0et ho* could it be she7 Jimmy kne* little of thehabits of -arlour'maids, but surely they did not *ander about*ith re!ol!ers in the small hours7

While he endea!oured fe!erishly to find reason in this chaos, thedoor o-ened and a motley cro*d, roused from slee- by the cries,-oured in. Jimmy, turning his head back again to attend to thisin!asion, -ercei!ed )rs. Pett, nn, t*o or three of the geniuses,and Willie Partridge, in !arious stages of <negligee< and babblinguestions.

The *oman *ith the -istol, assuming instant and unuestioneddomination of the assembly, sna--ed out an order.



32hutatdoor43

2omebody shut the door.

3/o*, *hassall this73 she said, turning to Gentleman Jack.

"#PTE$ >>%%%

2T%$$%/G T%)E2 56$ T#E PETT2

Gentleman Jack had lo*ered his re!ol!er, and *as standing *aitingto e-lain all, *ith the insufferable look of the man *ho is justgoing to say that he has only done his duty and reuires nothanks.

3Who are you73 he said.

3/e!1 min1 *ho % am43 said )iss Trimble curtly. 32i+ Pett kno*s

*ho % am.3

3% ho-e you *on1t be offended, (ord Wisbeach,3 said )rs. Pettfrom the grou- by the door. 3% engaged a detecti!e to hel- you. %really thought you could not manage e!erything by yourself. %ho-e you do not mind.3

3/ot at all, )rs. Pett. =ery *ise.3

3%1m so glad to hear you say so.3

3n ecellent mo!e.3

)iss Trimble broke in on these amiable echanges.

3Whassall this7 #o*jer mean''hel- me73

3(ord Wisbeach most kindly offered to do all he could to -rotectmy ne-he*1s e-losi!e,3 said )rs. Pett.

Gentleman Jack smiled modestly.

3% ho-e % ha!e been of some slight assistance4 % think % camedo*n in the nick of time. (ook43 #e -ointed to the safe. 3#e hadjust got it o-en4 (uckily % had my -istol *ith me. % co!ered him,and called for hel-. %n another moment he *ould ha!e got a*ay.3

)iss Trimble crossed to the safe and ins-ected it *ith a fro*n,as if she disliked it. 2he ga!e a grunt and returned to her -laceby the *indo*.

3)ade good job 1f it43 *as her comment.

nn came for*ard. #er face *as glo*ing and her eyes shone.

3&o you mean to say that you found Jimmy breaking into the safe7% ne!er heard anything so absurd43



)rs. Pett inter!ened.

3This is not James "rocker, nn4 This man is an im-ostor, *hocame into the house in order to steal Willie1s in!ention.3 2helooked fondly at Gentleman Jack. 3(ord Wisbeach told me so. #eonly -retended to recognise him this afternoon.3

lo* gurgle -roceeded from the o-en mouth of little 6gden. The-roceedings be*ildered him. The scene he had o!erheard in thelibrary bet*een the t*o men had made it clear to him that Jimmy*as genuine and (ord Wisbeach a fraud, and he could notunderstand *hy Jimmy did not -roduce his -roofs as before. #e *asnot a*are that Jimmy1s head *as only just beginning to clear fromthe effects of the blo* on the chin. 6gden braced himself forresolute lying in the e!ent of Jimmy calling him as a *itness.But he did not intend to ha!e his little business -ro-ositiondragged into the o-en.

nn *as looking at Jimmy *ith horror'struck eyes. 5or the first

time it came to her ho* little she kne* of him and ho* !erylikely it *as''in the face of the e!idence it *as almostcertain''that he should ha!e come to the house *ith the intentionof stealing Willie1s e-losi!e. 2he fought against it, but a!oice seemed to remind her that it *as he *ho had suggested theidea of -osing as Jimmy "rocker. 2he could not hel- rememberingho* smoothly and *illingly he had embarked on the mad scheme.But had it been so mad7 #ad it not been a mere cloak for thisother !enture7 %f (ord Wisbeach had found him in this room, *iththe safe blo*n o-en, *hat other e-lanation could there be7

nd then, simultaneously *ith her con!iction that he *as acriminal, came the certainty that he *as the man she lo!ed. %thad only needed the s-ectacle of him in trouble to make her sure.2he came to his side *ith the !ague idea of doing something tohel- him, of gi!ing him her su--ort. 6nce there, she found thatthere *as nothing to do and nothing to say. 2he -ut her hand onhis, and stood *aiting hel-lessly for she kne* not *hat.

%t *as the touch of her fingers *hich *oke Jimmy from his stu-or.#e came to himself almost *ith a jerk. #e had been mistily a*areof *hat had been said, but s-eech had been beyond him. /o*, uitesuddenly, he *as a *hole man once more. #e thre* himself into thedebate *ith energy.

3Good #ea!ens43 he cried. 30ou1re all *rong. % found <him< blo*ingo-en the safe43

Gentleman Jack smiled su-erciliously.

3 likely story, *hat4 % mean to say, it1s a bit thin43

3$idiculous43 said )rs. Pett. 2he turned to )iss Trimble *ith agesture. 3rrest that man43

3Wait a mom1nt,3 re-lied that clear'headed maiden, -icking herteeth thoughtfully *ith the mu++le of her re!ol!er. 3Wait mom1nt.



Gotta look 1nto this. #ear both these guys1 st1ries.3

3$eally,3 said Gentleman Jack sua!ely, 3it seems some*hatabsurd''3

3/ey1 mind ho* 1bsurd 1t sounds,3 returned the fair Trimblerebukingly. 30ou close y1r face 1n lissen t1 me. Thass all you1!egotta do.3

3% kno* you didn1t do it43 cried nn, tightening her hold onJimmy1s arm.

3(ess 1f it, -lease. (ess 1f it43 )iss Trimble remo!ed the -istolfrom her mouth and -ointed it at Jimmy. 3What1!e you to say7 Talkuick43

3% ha--ened to be do*n there''3

3Why73 asked )iss Trimble, as if she had touched off a bomb.

Jimmy sto--ed short. #e -ercei!ed difficulties in the *ay ofe-lanation.

3% ha--ened to be do*n there,3 he resumed stoutly, 3and that mancame into the room *ith an electric torch and a blo*-i-e andbegan *orking on the safe''3

The -olished tones of Gentleman Jack cut in on his story.

3$eally no*, is it *orth *hile73 #e turned to )iss Trimble. 3% camedo*n here, ha!ing heard a noise. % did not <ha--en< to be here forsome une-lained -ur-ose. % *as lying a*ake and something attractedmy attention. s )rs. Pett kno*s, % *as sus-icious of this *orthyand e-ected him to make an attem-t on the e-losi!e at any moment:so % took my -istol and cre-t do*nstairs. When % got here, the safe*as o-en and this man making for the *indo*.3

)iss Trimble scratched her chin caressingly *ith the re!ol!er,and remained for a moment in thought. Then she turned to Jimmylike a striking rattlesnake.

301 gotta -ull someth1g better th1n that,3 she said. 3% got y1rnumber. 01re caught *ith th1 goods.3

3/o43 cried nn.

30es43 said )rs. Pett. 3The thing is ob!ious.3

3% think the best thing % can do,3 said Gentleman Jack smoothly,3is to go and tele-hone for the -olice.3

30ou think of e!erything, (ord Wisbeach,3 said )rs. Pett.

3/ot at all,3 said his lordshi-.

Jimmy *atched him mo!ing to the door. t the back of his mindthere *as a dull feeling that he could sol!e the *hole trouble if



only he could remember one fact *hich had esca-ed him. Theeffects of the blo* he had recei!ed still handica--ed him. #estruggled to remember, but *ithout result. Gentleman Jack reachedthe door and o-ened it: and as he did so a shrill ya--ing,hitherto inaudible because of the inter!ening oak and the raised!oices *ithin, made itself heard from the -assage outside.Gentleman Jack closed the door *ith a hasty bang.

3% say that dog1s out there43 he said -lainti!ely.

The scratching of ida1s busy feet on the *ood bore out his*ords. #e looked about him, baffled.

3That dog1s out there43 he re-eated gloomily.

2omething seemed to gi!e *ay in Jimmy1s brain. The sim-le fact*hich had eluded him till no* s-rang into his mind.

3&on1t let that man get out43 he cried. 3Good (ord4 %1!e onlyjust remembered. 0ou say you found me breaking into the safe4

0ou say you heard a noise and came do*n to in!estigate4 Well,then, *hat1s that test'tube of the e-losi!e doing in yourbreast'-ocket73 #e s*ung round to )iss Trimble. 30ou needn1t takemy *ord or his *ord. There1s a much sim-ler *ay of finding out*ho1s the real crook. 2earch us both.3 #e began to turn out his-ockets ra-idly. 3(ook here''and here''and here4 /o* ask him todo the same43

#e *as -leased to obser!e a s-asm -ass across Gentleman Jack1shitherto com-osed countenance. )iss Trimble *as eyeing the latter*ith sudden sus-icion.

3Thasso43 she said. 32ay, Bill, %1!e f1gott1n y1r name''1su- toyou to sho* us4 (ess1!e a look 1t *hat y1 got inside there.3

Gentleman Jack dre* himself u- haughtily.

3% really could not agree to''3

)rs. Pett interru-ted indignantly.

3% ne!er heard of such a thing4 (ord Wisbeach is an old friend''3

3(ess1f it43 ordered )iss Trimble, *hose left eye *as no* likethe left eye of a basilisk. 301 <gotta< sho* us, Bill, so b1uick 1bout 1t43

tired smile -layed o!er Gentleman Jack1s face. #e *as the boredaristocrat, mutely -rotesting against something that 3*asn1tdone.3 #e di--ed his slender fingers into his -ocket. Then,dra*ing out the test'tube, and holding it u-, he s-oke *ith adra*ling calm for *hich e!en Jimmy could not hel- admiring him.

3ll right4 %f %1m done, %1m done43

The sensation caused by his action and his *ords *as of the kindusually described as -rofound. )rs. Pett uttered a strangled



shriek. Willie Partridge yel-ed like a dog. 2har- eclamationscame simultaneously from each of the geniuses.

Gentleman Jack *aited for the clamour to subside. Then he resumedhis gentle dra*l.

3But %1m not done,3 he e-lained. 3%1m going out no* through that*indo*. nd if anybody tries to sto- me, it *ill be his''orher''3 he bo*ed -olitely to )iss Trimble''3last act in the *orld.%f any one makes a mo!e to sto- me, % shall dro- this test'tubeand blo* the *hole damned -lace to -ieces.3

%f his first s-eech had made a marked im-ression on his audience,his second -aralysed them. silence follo*ed as of the tomb.6nly the ya--ing of the dog ida refused to be stilled.

301 stay *here y1 are43 said )iss Trimble, as the s-eaker mo!edto*ards the *indo*. 2he held the re!ol!er -oised, but for thefirst time that night''-ossibly for the first time in herlife''she s-oke irresolutely. 2u-erbly com-etent *oman though she

*as, here *as a situation that baffled her.

Gentleman Jack crossed the room slo*ly, the test'tube held aloftbet*een fore'finger and thumb. #e *as le!el *ith )iss Trimble,*ho had lo*ered her re!ol!er and had dra*n to one side, -lainly ata loss to kno* ho* to handle this un-recedented crisis, *hen thedoor fle* o-en. 5or an instant the face of #o*ard Bemis, the-oet, *as !isible.

3)rs. Pett, % ha!e tele-honed''3

Then another !oice interru-ted him.

30i-e4 0i-e4 0i-e43

Through the o-ening the dog ida, rejoicing in the remo!al of theobstacle, raced like a fur muff mysteriously endo*ed *ith legsand a tongue. 2he tore across the room to *here Gentleman Jack1sankles *aited in!itingly. E!er since their first meeting she had*anted a fair chance at those ankles, but some one had al*ays-re!ented her.

3&amn43 shouted Gentleman Jack.

The *ord *as dro*ned in one !ast cataclysm of noise. 5rom e!erythroat in the room there -roceeded a shout, a shriek, or someother !ariety of cry, as the test'tube, sli--ing from bet*een the

!ictim1s fingers, described a -arabola through the air.

nn flung herself into Jimmy1s arms, and he held her tight. #eshut his eyes. E!en as he *aited for the end the thought flashedthrough his mind that, if he must die, this *as the manner ofdeath *hich he *ould -refer.

The test'tube crashed on the *riting'desk, and burst into amillion -ieces. . . .



Jimmy o-ened his eyes. Things seemed to be much about the same asbefore. #e *as still ali!e. The room in *hich he stood *as solidand intact. /obody *as in fragments. There *as only one res-ectin *hich the scene differed from *hat it had been a momentbefore. Then, it had contained Gentleman Jack. /o* it did not.

great sigh seemed to s*ee- through the room. There *as a longsilence. Then, from the direction of the street, came the roar ofa starting automobile. nd at that sound the bearded man *ith thes-ectacles *ho had formed -art of )iss Trimble1s -rocessionuttered a *ailing cry.

3Gee4 #e1s beat it in my bubble4 nd it *as a hired one43

The *ords seemed to relie!e the tension in the air. 6ne by onethe com-any became masters of themsel!es once more. )iss Trimble,that masterly *oman, *as the first to reco!er. 2he raised herselffrom the floor''for *ith a confused idea that she *ould be saferthere she had flung herself do*n''and, ha!ing dusted her skirt*ith a fe* decisi!e dabs of her strong left hand, addressed

herself once more to business.

3% let 1m bluff me *ith a fake bomb43 she commented bitterly. 2hebrooded on this for a moment. 32ay, shut th1t door 1gain, someone, and t1run this mutt out. % can1t think *ith th1t ya--inggoing on.3

)rs. Pett, -ale and scared, gathered ida into her arms. t thesame time nn remo!ed herself from Jimmy1s. 2he did not look athim. 2he *as feeling oddly shy. 2hyness had ne!er been a failingof hers, but she *ould ha!e gi!en much no* to ha!e beenelse*here.

)iss Trimble again took charge of the situation. The sound of theautomobile had died a*ay. Gentleman Jack had -assed out of theirli!es. This fact embittered )iss Trimble. 2he s-oke *ithas-erity.

3Well, <he1s< gone43 she said acidly. 3/o* *e can get do*n t1 casesagain. 2ay43 2he addressed )rs. Pett, *ho started ner!ously. Thee-erience of -assing through the shado* of the !alley of death andof finding herself in one -iece instead of se!eral thousand hadrobbed her of all her *onted masterfulness. 32ay, list1n t1 me.There1s been a double game on here t1night. That guy that1s jus1gone *as th1 first -art of th1 entertainment. /o* *e c1n start th1sec1nd -art. 0ou see these ducks73 2he indicated *ith a *a!e of there!ol!er )r. "rocker and his bearded comrade. 3They1!e been trying

t1 kidna- y1r son43

)rs. Pett uttered a -iercing cry.

36ggie43

36h, can it43 muttered that youth, uncomfortably. #e foresa*a*k*ard moments ahead, and he *ished to concentrate his facultiesentirely on the -art he *as to -lay in them. #e looked side*aysat "hicago Ed. %n a fe* minutes, he su--osed, Ed. *ould be



attem-ting to minimise his o*n crimes, by -retending that he,6gden, had in!ited him to come and kidna- him. 2tout denial mustbe his *ea-on.

3% had m1 sus-icions,3 resumed )iss Trimble, 3that someth1ng *asgoin1 t1 be -ulled off to'night, 1nd % *as *aiting outside f1r itto break loose. This guy here,3 she indicated the bearded-lotter, *ho blinked de-recatingly through his s-ectacles, 3h1sbeen *aiting on the c1rner of th1 street for the last hour *ith1n automobile. %1!e b1n *atching him right along. % *as onto h1sgame4 Well, just no* out came the kid *ith this -lug'ugly here.32he turned to )r. "rocker. 32ay you4 Take off th1t mask. (et1sha!e a l1k at you43

)r. "rocker reluctantly dre* the cambric from his face.

3Goosh43 eclaimed )iss Trimble in strong distaste. 32ay, 1!e yougot some kind of a -lague, or *h1t is it7 01look like a colouredcomic su--lement43 2he confronted the shrinking )r. "rocker andran a bony finger o!er his cheek. 3)ake'u-43 she said, eyeing the

stains disgustedly. 3Grease -aint4 Goosh43

32kinner43 cried )rs. Pett.

)iss Trimble scanned her !ictim more closely.

32o 1t is, if y1 do a bit 1f eca!ating.3 2he turned on thebearded one. 31nd % guess all this shrubbery is fake, 1f you comedo*n to it43 2he *renched at the unha--y man1s beard. %t came offin her hands, lea!ing a suare chin behind it. 3%f this ain1t a*ig, y1ll ha!e a headache t1morro*,3 obser!ed )iss Trimble,*ea!ing her fingers into his luuriant head'co!ering and -ulling.3Wish y1 luck4 h4 1t*as a *ig. Gimme those s-ect1cles.3 2hesur!eyed the results of her handi*ork grimly. 32ay, "larence,3she remarked, 3y1re a *ise guy. 01 look handsomer *ith 1em on.&oes any one kno* <this< duck73

3%t is )itchell,3 said )rs. Pett. 3)y husband1s -hysicalinstructor.3

)iss Trimble turned, and, *alking to Jimmy, ta--ed him meaninglyon the chest *ith her re!ol!er.

32ay, this is gett1n interesting4 This is *here y1 1-lain, y1ngman, ho* 1t*as you ha--ened to be do*n in this room *hen th1tcrook *ho1s just gone *as monkeyin1 *ith the safe. (1ks t1 me asif you *ere in *ith these t*o.3

feeling of being on the !erge of one of those crises *hich dotthe smooth -ath of our li!es came to Jimmy. To conceal hisidentity from nn any longer seemed im-ossible. #e *as about tos-eak, *hen nn broke in.

3unt /esta,3 she said, 3% can1t let this go on any longer. Jerry)itchell isn1t to blame. % told him to kidna- 6gden43

There *as an a*k*ard silence. )rs. Pett laughed ner!ously.



3% think you had better go to bed, my dear child. 0ou ha!e had ase!ere shock. 0ou are not yourself.3

3But it1s true4 % did tell him, didn1t %, Jerry73

32ay43 )iss Trimble silenced Jerry *ith a gesture. 30ou beat 1tback t1 y1r little bed, honey, like y1r aunt says. 01 say y1 toldthis guy t1 steal th1 kid. Well, *hat about this here 2kinner7 01didn1t tell <him<, did y173

3%''%''3 nn began confusedly. 2he *as utterly unable to accountfor 2kinner, and it made her task of e-laining difficult.

Jimmy came to the rescue. #e did not like to think ho* nn *ouldrecei!e the ne*s, but for her o*n sake he must s-eak no*. %t*ould ha!e reuired a harder'hearted man than himself to resistthe mute -leading of his father1s grease'-ainted face. )r."rocker *as a game s-ort: he *ould not ha!e said a *ord *ithoutthe sign from Jimmy, e!en to sa!e himself from a night in -rison,

but he ho-ed that Jimmy *ould s-eak.

3%t1s -erfectly sim-le,3 said Jimmy, *ith an attem-t at airiness*hich broke do*n miserably under )iss Trimble1s eye. 3Perfectlysim-le. % really am Jimmy "rocker, you kno*.3 #e a!oided nn1sga+e. 3% can1t think *hat you are making all this fuss about.3

3Th1n *hy did y1 sit in at a -lot to kidna- this boy73

3That, of course''ha, ha4''might seem at first sight to reuire alittle e-lanation.3

301 admit it, then73

30es. s a matter of fact, % did ha!e the idea of kidna--ing6gden. Wanted to send him to a dogs1 hos-ital, if you understand*hat % mean.3 #e tried to smile a conciliatory smile, but,encountering )iss Trimble1s left eye, abandoned the -roject. #eremo!ed a bead of -ers-iration from his forehead *ith hishandkerchief. %t struck him as a !ery curious thing that thesim-lest e-lanations *ere so often uite difficult to make.3Before % go any further, % ought to e-lain one thing. 2kinnerthere is my father.3

)rs. Pett gas-ed.

32kinner *as my sister1s butler in (ondon.3

3%n a *ay of s-eaking,3 said Jimmy, 3that is correct. %t1s rathera long story. %t *as this *ay, you see. . . .3

)iss Trimble uttered an ejaculation of su-reme contem-t.

3% n1!er sa* such a lot of babbl1ng crooks in m1 life4 1t beatsme *hat y1 ho-e to get -ulling this stuff. 2ay43 2he indicated)r. "rocker. 3This guy1s *anted f1r something o!er in England.We1!e got h1s -hotogra-hs 1n th1 office. %f y1 ask me, he lit out



*ith the s-oons 1r something. 2ay43 2he fied one of the geniuses*ith her com-elling eye. 31Bout time y1 made y1rself useful. Go1ncall u- th1 storbilt on th1 -hone. There1s a dame there that1sbeen making the enuiries f1r this duck. 2he told nderson1s''andnderson1s handed it on to us''to call her u- any hour of the day1r night *hen they found him. 0ou go get her on the *ire and t1llher t1 come right u- here1n a tai and identify him.3

The genius -aused at the door.

3Whom shall % ask for73

3)rs. "rocker,3 sna--ed )iss Trimble. 32i+ Bingley "rocker. Tellher *e1!e found th1 guy she1s been looking for43

The genius backed out. There *as a ho*l of anguish from thedoor*ay.

3% <beg< your -ardon43 said the genius.

3"an1t you look *here you1re going43

3% am eceedingly sorry''3

3Brrh43

)r. Pett entered the room, ho--ing. #e *as holding one sli--eredfoot in his hand and a--eared to be submitting it to some form ofmassage. %t *as -lain that the usually mild and gentle little man*as in a bad tem-er. #e glo*ered round him at the com-anyassembled.

3What the de!il1s the matter here73 he demanded. 3% stood it aslong as % could, but a man can1t get a *ink of slee- *ith thisnoise going on43

30i-e4 0i-e4 0i-e43 barked ida from the shelter of )rs. Pett1sarms.

)r. Pett started !iolently.

3;ill that dog4 Thro* her out4 &o <something< to her43

)rs. Pett *as staring blankly at her husband. 2he had ne!er seenhim like this before. %t *as as if a rabbit had turned andgro*led at her. "oming on to- of the cro*ded sensations of thenight, it had the effect of making her feel curiously *eak. %n

all her married life she had ne!er kno*n *hat fear *as. 2he hadco-ed dauntlessly *ith the late )r. 5ord, a man of a s-iritedtem-erament9 and as for the mild )r. Pett she had tram-led onhim. But no* she felt afraid. This ne* Peter intimidated her.

"#PTE$ >>%=

2E/2T%6/( T$/%/G 65 W6$)



To this remarkable metamor-hosis in )r. Peter Pett se!eral causeshad contributed. %n the first -lace, the sudden dismissal ofJerry )itchell had obliged him to go t*o days *ithout the-hysical eercises to *hich his system had become accustomed, andthis had -roduced a hea!y, irritable condition of body and mind.#e had brooded on the injustice of his lot until he had almost*orked himself u- to rebellion. nd then, as sometimes ha--ened*ith him *hen he *as out of sorts, a touch of gout came to add tohis troubles. Being a -atient man by nature, he might ha!e borneu- against these trials, had he been granted an adeuate night1srest. But, just as he had dro--ed off after tossing restlesslyfor t*o hours, things had begun to ha--en noisily in the library.#e a*oke to a !ague realisation of tumult belo*.

2uch *as the morose condition of his mind as the result of hismisfortune that at first not e!en the cries for hel- couldinterest him sufficiently to induce him to lea!e his bed. #e kne*that *alking in his -resent state *ould be -ainful, and hedeclined to submit to any more -ain just because some -arty

unkno*n *as a--arently being murdered in his library. %t *as notuntil the shrill barking of the dog ida -enetrated right inamong his ner!e'centres and began to tie them into knots that hefound himself com-elled to descend. E!en *hen he did so, it *asin no s-irit of kindness. #e did not come to rescue anybody or tointerfere bet*een any murderer and his !ictim. #e came in a fe!erof militant *rath to su--ress ida. 6n the threshold of thelibrary, ho*e!er, the genius, by treading on his gouty foot, haddi!erted his anger and caused it to become more general. #e hadnot ceased to concentrate his !enom on ida. #e *anted to assaile!erybody.

3What1s the matter here73 he demanded, red'eyed. 3%sn1t somebodygoing to tell me7 #a!e % got to sto- here all night7 Who on earthis this73 #e glared at )iss Trimble. 3What1s she doing *ith that-istol73 #e stam-ed incautiously *ith his bad foot, and emitted adry ho*l of anguish.

32he is a detecti!e, Peter,3 said )rs. Pett timidly.

3 detecti!e7 Why7 Where did she come from73

)iss Trimble took it u-on herself to e-lain.

3)ister Pett, si+ Pett sent f1r me t1 *atch out so1s nobodykidna--ed her son.3

36ggie,3 e-lained )rs. Pett. 3)iss Trimble *as guarding darling6ggie.3

3Why73

3To''to -re!ent him being kidna--ed, Peter.3

)r. Pett glo*ered at the stout boy. Then his eye *as attracted bythe forlorn figure of Jerry )itchell. #e started.



3Was this fello* kidna--ing the boy73 he asked.

32ure,3 said )iss Trimble. 3"aught h1m *ith th1 goods. #e *1s*aiting outside there *ith a car. % held h1m and this other guyu- *1th a gun and brought 1em back43

3Jerry,3 said )r. Pett, 3it *asn1t your fault that you didn1tbring it off, and %1m going to treat you right. 0ou1d ha!e doneit if nobody had butted in to sto- you. 0ou1ll get the money tostart that health'farm of yours all right. %1ll see to that. /o*you run off to bed. There1s nothing to kee- you here.3

32ay43 cried )iss Trimble, outraged. 3&1ya mean t1 say y1 aren1tgoing t1 -ros1cute7 Why, aren1t % tell1ng y1 % caught h1mkidna--ing th1 boy73

3% told him to kidna- the boy43 snarled )r. Pett.

3Peter43

)r. Pett looked like an under'si+ed lion as he faced his *ife. #ebristled. The recollection of all that he had suffered from 6gdencame to strengthen his determination.

3%1!e tried for t*o years to get you to send that boy to a goodboarding'school, and you *ouldn1t do it. % couldn1t stand ha!inghim loafing around the house any longer, so % told Jerry )itchellto take him a*ay to a friend of his *ho kee-s a dogs1 hos-ital on(ong %sland and to tell his friend to hold him there till he gotsome sense into him. Well, you1!e s-oiled that for the moment*ith your detecti!es, but it still looks good to me. %1ll gi!eyou a choice. 0ou can either send that boy to a boarding'schoolnet *eek, or he goes to Jerry )itchell1s friend. %1m not goingto ha!e him in the house any longer, loafing in my chair andsmoking my cigarettes. Which is it to be73

3But, Peter43

3Well73

3%f % send him to a school, he may be kidna--ed.3

3;idna--ing can1t hurt him. %t1s *hat he needs. nd, any*ay, ifhe is %1ll -ay the bill and be glad to do it. Take him off to bedno*. To'morro* you can start looking u- schools. Great Godfrey43#e ho--ed to the *riting'desk and glared disgustedly at the<debris< on it. 3Who1s been making this mess on my desk7 %t1s hard4

%t1s darned hard4 The only room in the house that % ask to ha!efor my o*n, *here % can get a little -eace, and % find it turnedinto a beer'garden, and coffee or some damned thing s-illed allo!er my *riting'desk43

3That isn1t coffee, Peter,3 said )rs. Pett mildly. This ca!e'man*hom she had married under the im-ression that he *as a gentledomestic -et had taken all the s-irit out of her. 3%t1s Willie1se-losi!e.3



3Willie1s e-losi!e73

3(ord Wisbeach''% mean the man *ho -retended to be (ordWisbeach''dro--ed it there.3

3&ro--ed it there7 Well, *hy didn1t it e-lode and blo* the -laceto #oboken, then73

)rs. Pett looked hel-lessly at Willie, *ho thrust his fingersinto his mo- of hair and rolled his eyes.

3There *as fortunately some slight miscalculation in my formula,uncle Peter,3 he said. 3% shall ha!e to look into it to'morro*.Whether the trinitrotoluol''3

)r. Pett uttered a shar- ho*l. #e beat the air *ith his clenchedfists. #e seemed to be ha!ing a brain'storm.

3#as this''this <fish< been li!ing on me all this time''ha!e % beensu--orting this''this <bu++ard< in luury all these years *hile he

fooled about *ith an e-losi!e that *on1t e-lode4 #e -ointed anaccusing finger at the in!entor. (ook into it tomorro*, *ill you70es, you can look into it to'morro* after si o1clock4 ntil thenyou1ll be *orking''for the first time in your life''*orking in myoffice, *here you ought to ha!e been all along.3 #e sur!eyed thecro*ded room belligerently. 3/o* -erha-s you *ill all go back tobed and let -eo-le get a little slee-. Go home43 he said to thedetecti!e.

)iss Trimble stood her ground. 2he *atched )rs. Pett -ass a*ay*ith 6gden, and Willie Partridge head a stam-ede of geniuses, butshe declined to mo!e.

301 gotta cut th1 rough stuff, 1ster Pett,3 she said calmly. 3%need my slee-, j1st 1s much 1s e!eryb1dy else, but % gotta stayhere. There1s a lady c1ming right u- in a tai fr1m th1 storbiltto identify this gook. 2he1s after1m f1r something.3

3What4 2kinner73

31s *hat he calls h1mself.3

3What1s he done73

3% d1no. Th1 lady1ll tell us that.3

There *as a !iolent ringing at the front door bell.

3% guess that1s her,3 said )iss Trimble. 3Who1s going to let 1rin7 % can1t go.3

3% *ill,3 said nn.

)r. Pett regarded )r. "rocker *ith affectionate encouragement.

3% don1t kno* *hat you1!e done, 2kinner,3 he said, 3but %1llstand by you. 0ou1re the best fan % e!er met, and if % can kee-



you out of the -enitentiary, % *ill.3

3%t isn1t the -enitentiary43 said )r. "rocker unha--ily.

tall, handsome, and determined'looking *oman came into theroom. 2he stood in the door*ay, looking about her. Then her eyesrested on )r. "rocker. 5or a moment she ga+ed incredulously athis discoloured face. 2he dre* a little nearer, -eering.

3&1yo 1dentify 1m, ma1am73 said )iss Trimble.

3Bingley43

3%s 1t th1 guy y1 *anted73

3%t1s my husband43 said )rs. "rocker.

301 can1t arrest 1m f1r <that4<3 said )iss Trimble disgustedly.

2he thrust her re!ol!er back into the hinterland of her costume.

3Guess %1ll be beatin1 it,3 she said *ith a sombre fro*n. 2he *as-lainly in no sunny mood. 31f all th1 hunk jobs % *as e!er on,this is th1 hunkest. %1m told off 1t *atch a gang of crooks, andafter %1!e lost a night1s slee- doing it, it turns out 1t1s anice, jolly fam1ly -arty43 2he jerked her thumb to*ards Jimmy.32ay, this guy says he1s that guy1s son. % s1-ose it1s allright73

3That is my ste-'son, James "rocker.3

nn uttered a little cry, but it *as lost in )iss Trimble1sstu-endous snort. The detecti!e turned to the *indo*.

3% guess %1ll beat 1t,3 she obser!ed caustically, 3before itturns out that %1m y1r l1il daughter Gene!ie!e.3

"#PTE$ >>=

/E$(0 E=E$0B6&0 #PP0

)rs. "rocker turned to her husband.

3Well, Bingley73 she said, a steely tinkle in her !oice.

3Well, Eugenia73 said )r. "rocker.

strange light *as shining in )r. "rocker1s mild eyes. #e hadseen a miracle ha--en that night. #e had seen an e!en moreformidable *oman than his *ife dominated by an e!en meeker manthan himself, and he had been ama+ed and im-ressed by thes-ectacle. %t had ne!er e!en started to occur to him before, buta--arently it could be done. little resolution, a littledetermination . . . nothing more *as needed. #e looked at )r.Pett. nd yet )r. Pett had crum-led u- Eugenia1s sister *ith



about three firm s-eeches. %t could be done. . . .

3What ha!e you to say, Bingley73

)r. "rocker dre* himself u-.

3Just this43 he said. 3%1m an merican citi+en, and the *ay %1!efigured it out is that my -lace is in merica. %t1s no goodtalking about it, Eugenia. %1m sorry if it u-sets your -lans, but%''am''not''going''back''to''(ondon43 #e eyed his s-eechless *ifeunflatteringly. 3%1m going to stick on here and see the -ennantrace out. nd after that %1m going to take in the World1s2eries.3

)rs. "rocker o-ened her mouth to s-eak, closed it, re'o-ened it.Then she found that she had nothing to say.

3% ho-e you1ll be sensible, Eugenia, and stay on this side, and*e can all be ha--y. %1m sorry to ha!e to take this stand, butyou tried me too high. 0ou1re a *oman, and you don1t kno* *hat it

is to go fi!e years *ithout seeing a ball game9 but take it fromme it1s more than any real fan can stand. %t nearly killed me,and %1m not going to risk it again. %f )r. Pett *ill kee- me onas his butler, %1ll stay here in this house. %f he *on1t, %1llget another job some*here. But, *hate!er ha--ens, % stick to thisside43

)r. Pett uttered a *hoo- of a--ro!al.

3There1s al*ays been a -lace for you in my house, old man43 hecried. 3When % get a butler *ho''3

3But, Bingley4 #o* can you be a butler73

30ou ought to *atch him43 said )r. Pett enthusiastically. 3#e1s a*onder4 #e can -ull all the starchy stuff as if he1d li!ed *iththe &uke of Whoosis for the last forty years, and then go rightoff and fling a -o-'bottle at an um-ire4 #e1s all right43

The eulogy *as *asted on )rs. "rocker. 2he burst into tears. %t*as a ne* e-erience for her husband, and he *atched hera*k*ardly, his resolute demeanour crumbling under this une-ectedassault.

3Eugenia43

)rs. "rocker *i-ed her eyes.

3% can1t stand it43 she sobbed. 3%1!e *orked and *orked all theseyears, and no*, just as success has nearly come''Bingley, <do<come back4 %t *ill only be for a little longer.3

)r. "rocker stared.

3 little longer7 Why, that (ord Percy Whi--le business''% kno*you must ha!e had ecellent reasons for soaking him, Jimmy, butit did -ut the lid on it''surely, after that (ord Percy affair



there1s no chance''73

3There is4 There is4 %t has made no difference at all4 (ord Percycame to call net day *ith a black eye, -oor boy4''and said thatJames *as a s-ortsman and that he *anted to kno* him better4 #esaid he had ne!er felt so dra*n to*ards any one in his life andhe *anted him to sho* him ho* he made some blo* *hich he called aright hook. The *hole affair has sim-ly endeared James to him,and (ady "orstor-hine says that the &uke of &e!i+es read theaccount of the fight to the Premier that !ery e!ening and theyboth laughed till they nearly got a-o-ley.3

Jimmy *as dee-ly touched. #e had not sus-ected such a s-ortings-irit in his antagonist.

3Percy1s all right.3 he said enthusiastically. 3&ad, you ought togo back. %t1s only fair.3

3But, Jimmy4 2urely <you< can understand7 There1s only a gamese-arating the Giants and the Phillies, *ith the Bra!es coming

along just behind. nd the season only half o!er43

)rs. "rocker looked im-loringly at him.

3%t *ill only be for a little *hile, Bingley. (ady "orstor-hine,*ho has means of kno*ing, says that your name is certain to be inthe net #onours (ist. fter that you can come back as often asyou like. We could s-end the summer here and the *inter inEngland, or *hate!er you -leased.3

)r. "rocker ca-itulated.

3ll right, Eugenia. %1ll come.3

3Bingley4 We shall ha!e to go back by the net boat, dear. Peo-leare beginning to *onder *here you are. %1!e told them that youare taking a rest in the country. But they *ill sus-ect somethingif you don1t come back at once.3

)r. "rocker1s face *ore a dra*n look. #e had ne!er felt soattached to his *ife as no*, *hen she *e-t these une-ected tearsand begged fa!ours of him *ith that unfamiliar catch in her!oice. 6n the other hand . . . !ision rose before him of thePolo Grounds on a *arm afternoon. . . . #e crushed it do*n.

3=ery *ell,3 he said.

)r. Pett offered a *ord of consolation.

3)aybe you1ll be able to run o!er for the World1s 2eries73

)r. "rocker1s face cleared.

3That1s true.3

3nd %1ll cable you the scores e!ery day, dad,3 said Jimmy.



)rs. "rocker looked at him *ith a touch of disa--ro!al cloudingthe ha--iness of her face.

3re you staying o!er here, James7 There is no reason *hy youshould not come back, too. %f you make u- your mind to changeyour habits''3

3% ha!e made u- my mind to change them. But %1m going to do it in/e* 0ork. )r. Pett is going to gi!e me a job in his office. % amgoing to start at the bottom and *ork my *ay still further do*n.3

)r. Pett ya--ed *ith ra-ture. #e *as e-eriencing something ofthe emotion of the -reacher at the cam-'meeting *ho sees the2inners1 Bench filling u-. To ha!e secured Willie Partridge, *homhe intended to lead gradually into the realms of high finance by*ay of en!elo-e'addressing, *as much. But that Jimmy, *ith achoice in the matter, should ha!e chosen the office filled him*ith such content that he only just sto--ed himself from dancingon his bad foot.

3&on1t *orry about me, dad. % shall do *onders. %t1s uite easyto make a large fortune. % *atched uncle Pete in his office thismorning, and all he does is sit at a mahogany table and tell theoffice'boy to tell callers that he has gone a*ay for the day. %think % ought to rise to great heights in that branch ofindustry. 5rom the little % ha!e seen of it, it seems to ha!ebeen made for me43

"#PTE$ >>=%

E=E$0B6&0 #PP0

Jimmy looked at nn. They *ere alone. )r. Pett had gone back tobed, )rs. "rocker to her hotel. )r. "rocker *as remo!ing hismake'u- in his room. silence had follo*ed their de-arture.

3This is the end of a -erfect day43 said Jimmy.

nn took a ste- to*ards the door.

3&on1t go43

nn sto--ed.

3)r. "rocker43 she said.

3Jimmy,3 he corrected.

3)r. "rocker43 re-eated nn firmly.

36r lgernon, if you -refer it.3

3)ay % ask''3 nn regarded him steadily. 3)ay % ask.3

3/early al*ays,3 said Jimmy, 3*hen -eo-le begin *ith that, they



are going to say something un-leasant.3

3)ay % ask *hy you *ent to all this trouble to make a fool of me7Why could you not ha!e told me *ho you *ere from the start73

3#a!e you forgotten all the harsh things you said to me from timeto time about Jimmy "rocker7 % thought that, if you kne* *ho %*as, you *ould ha!e nothing more to do *ith me.3

30ou *ere uite right.3

32urely, though, you *on1t let a thing that ha--ened fi!e yearsago make so much difference73

3% shall ne!er forgi!e you43

3nd yet, a little *hile ago, *hen Willie1s bomb *as about to gooff, you flung yourself into my arms43

nn1s face flamed.

3% lost my balance.3

3Why try to reco!er it73

nn bit her li-.

30ou did a cruel, heartless thing. What does it matter ho* longago it *as7 %f you *ere ca-able of it then''3

3Be reasonable. &on1t you admit the -ossibility of reformation7Take your o*n case. 5i!e years ago you *ere a minor -oetess. /o*you are an amateur kidna--er''a bright, lo!able girl at *hosea--roach -eo-le lock u- their children and sit on the key. s forme, fi!e years ago % *as a heartless brute. /o* % am a soberserious business'man, s-ecially called in by your uncle to hel-jack u- his tottering firm. Why not bury the dead -ast7Besides''% don1t *ant to -raise myself, % just *ant to call yourattention to it''think *hat % ha!e done for you. 0ou admittedyourself that it *as my influence that had re!olutionised yourcharacter. But for me, you *ould no* be doing *orse than *rite-oetry. 0ou *ould be *riting <!ers libre<. % sa!ed you from that.nd you s-urn me43

3% hate you43 said nn.

Jimmy *ent to the *riting'desk and took u- a small book.

3Put that do*n43

3% just *anted to read you 1(o!e1s 5uneral41 %t illustrates my-oint. Think of yourself as you are no*, and remember that it is% *ho am res-onsible for the im-ro!ement. #ere *e are. 1(o!e1s5uneral.1 1)y heart is dead. . . .1 3

nn snatched the book from his hands and flung it a*ay. %t soaredu-, clearing the gallery rails, and fell *ith a thud on the



gallery floor. 2he stood facing him *ith s-arkling eyes. Then shemo!ed a*ay.

3% beg your -ardon,3 she said stiffly. 3% lost my tem-er.3

3%t1s your hair,3 said Jimmy soothingly. 30ou1re bound to beuick'tem-ered *ith hair of that glorious red shade. 0ou mustmarry some nice, determined fello*, blue'eyed, dark'haired,clean'sha!en, about fi!e foot ele!en, *ith a future in business.#e *ill kee- you in order.3

3)r. "rocker43

3Gently, of course. ;indly'lo!ingly. The !el!et thingummy ratherthan the iron *hat1s'its'name. But ne!ertheless firmly.3

nn *as at the door.

3To a girl *ith your ardent nature some one *ith *hom you canuarrel is an absolute necessity of life. 0ou and % are

affinities. 6urs *ill be an ideally ha--y marriage. 0ou *ould bemiserable if you had to go through life *ith a human doormat *ith1Welcome1 *ritten on him. 0ou *ant some one made of sternerstuff. 0ou *ant, as it *ere, a s-arring'-artner, some one *ith*hom you can uarrel ha--ily *ith the certain kno*ledge that he*ill not curl u- in a ball for you to kick, but *ill be there*ith the return *allo-. % may ha!e my faults''3 #e -ausede-ectantly. nn remained silent. 3/o, no43 he *ent on. 3But % amsuch a man. Brisk gi!e'and'take is the foundation of the ha--ymarriage. &o you remember that beautiful line of Tennyson1s''1Wefell out, my *ife and %17 %t al*ays conjures u- for me a !isionof *onderful domestic ha--iness. % seem to see us in our old age,you on one side of the radiator, % on the other, *arming our oldlimbs and thinking u- sna--y stuff to hand to eachother''s*eethearts still4 %f % *ere to go out of your life no*,you *ould be miserable. 0ou *ould ha!e nobody to uarrel *ith.0ou *ould be in the -osition of the female jaguar of the %ndianjungle, *ho, as you doubtless kno*, e-resses her affection forher mate by biting him shre*dly in the fleshy -art of the leg, ifshe should sna- side*ays one day and find nothing there.3

6f all the things *hich nn had been trying to say during thisdiscourse, only one succeeded in finding e-ression. To hermortification, it *as the only *eak one in the collection.

3re you asking me to marry you73

3% am.3

3% *on1t43

30ou think so no*, because % am not a--earing at my best. 0ou seeme ner!ous, diffident, tongue'tied. ll this *ill *ear off,ho*e!er, and you *ill be sur-rised and delighted as you begin tounderstand my true self. Beneath the surface''% s-eakconser!ati!ely''% am a corker43



The door banged behind nn. Jimmy found himself alone. #e *alkedthoughtfully to )r. Pett1s armchair and sat do*n. There *as afeeling of desolation u-on him. #e lit a cigarette and began tosmoke -ensi!ely. What a fool he had been to talk like that4 Whatgirl of s-irit could -ossibly stand it7 %f e!er there had been atime for being soothing and serious and -leading, it had beenthese last fe* minutes. nd he talked like that4

Ten minutes -assed. Jimmy s-rang from his chair. #e thought hehad heard a footste-. #e flung the door o-en. The -assage *asem-ty. #e returned miserably to his chair. 6f course she had notcome back. Why should she7

!oice s-oke.

3Jimmy43

#e lea-ed u- again, and looked *ildly round. Then he looked u-.nn *as leaning o!er the gallery rail.

3Jimmy, %1!e been thinking it o!er. There1s something % *ant toask you. &o you admit that you beha!ed abominably fi!e yearsago73

30es43 shouted Jimmy.

3nd that you1!e been beha!ing just as badly e!er since73

30es43

3nd that you are really a -retty a*ful sort of -erson73

30es43

3Then it1s all right. 0ou deser!e it43

3&eser!e it73

3&eser!e to marry a girl like me. % *as *orried about it, but no*% see that it1s the only -unishment bad enough for you43 2heraised her arm.

3#ere1s the dead -ast, Jimmy4 Go and bury it4 Good'night43

small book fell suashily at Jimmy1s feet. #e regarded it dullyfor a moment. Then, *ith a *ild yell *hich -enetrated e!en to )r.Pett1s bedroom and *oke that sufferer just as he *as dro--ing off

to slee- for the third time that night he bounded for the gallerystairs.

t the further end of the gallery a musical laugh sounded, and adoor closed. nn had gone.



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Transcriber1s /otes for edition :

% am greatly indebted to the Wodehouse readers from the B(/&%/G2e'mail grou- *ho did such detailed research on this tet, not onlyon sim-le ty-os but on the differences bet*een the ? 2aturdayE!ening Post seriali+ation and the 2 and ; early -rintings.

% ha!e made use, in this ne* PG edition, of the L ; first editionreferences -ro!ided by these hel-ful sa!ants, to correct mis-rints orother -ublisher1s errors in the 2 edition, but % ha!e other*isefollo*ed the 2 edition.

The -unctuation is some*hat different from the ; !ersions, notably inits use of colons. The *ords 3ncle3 and 3unt3, *here used *ith a name3ncle Peter3, 3unt /esta3F, *ere ca-itali+ed in the originalseriali+ed and ; editions, but lo*er'cased in the 2 edition, so % ha!e

retained the lo*er'case.

% ha!e also restored some <italics< omitted in the -re!ious PG edition.

% note belo* some significant differences bet*een the early -rintings:

"ha-ter %%: 33Well -layed, sir43 *hen they meant 31at'a'boy433 3mean3 is in the 2 edition9 other editions ha!e 3meant3.

"ha-ter =%: 3$egent1s bill'of'fare3 has been corrected from 3$egent1s bill'of'fair3 in the 2 edition. 3-ull some boner3 has been corrected from 3-ull some bone3 in the 2 edition.

"ha-ter =%%%: 3Before his stony eye the immaculate Bartling *ilted. %t *as a -erfectly astounding likeness, but it *as a--arent to him *hen *hat he had e!er heard and read about doubles came to him.3

This is a some*hat clumsy construction, and uite un'Wodehousian.The original -assage in the seriali+ation read:

3Before his stony eye the immaculate Bartling *ilted. ll that he had e!er heard and read about doubles came to him.3

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End of Project Gutenberg1s EBook of Piccadilly Jim, by P.G. Wodehouse

wodehouse - piccadilly jim

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