work life balance right exe connect

Maintaining Balance

While Moving Toward Our Dreams and Goals

ExeConnect Session at Right Management

With Michael Beasley, Ph.D.

Slides available on Linkedin: http://www.linkedin.com/in/mikebeasley

Also seen in my Youtube presentation: Accessed through my LinkedIn profile.

Copyright 2000, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2012 Career-Crossings.

Agenda

• Part I: Mental/Emotional/Spiritual Self-

Care Practices to Maintain Balance.

• Part II: Planning for a Balanced Life.


Part I:

Mental/Emotional/Spiritual Self-Care

Practices to Maintain Balance.


Career Transition Challenges Both Real and Perceived

• Your Destination: Where you’ve been /

where you’re going.

• The economy

• Your age

• Your level

• Your industry / field of expertise

• What else is going on in your life


Why is it important to maintain

life balance?


Other Reasons it’s Important Daniel Goleman, Working With Emotional Intelligence.

• Leadership success is largely an emotional intelligence.

Some estimates put it as high as 90%.

– Failed leaders were too critical, moody, angry,

defensive, and lacking empathy. (Birkman Reference)

• All interaction can be gauged along a continuum from

emotionally toxic to nourishing. Emotionally intelligent

people are aware of that,

– and consequently, so are the people around them.

• I.Q. is about 24 points higher now than in 1918. However,

E.Q. is down compared to the last generation.

– Why do you think that is?

• E.Q. predicts higher performance 3 times better than I.Q.


Birkman reference

If you have taken the Birkman, these sections will

potentially give you more words to describe:

• You when you are in a balanced state – Your Usual Style.

• What you need to remain in a balanced state – Your Needs.

• How you behave or feel when you are out of balance –

Your Stress Behavior. (This is what others see in you)

Introductions (2 minutes or less) • Name

• What’s next in your career? (Reference 4 box chart if appropriate)

– What you did in your past job?

– What you’re aiming for in your next job?

• What drew you to attend the session today.

• Tell one thing you do to build/maintain your mental/emotional or

spiritual strength?

– Maybe a specific thing you do to address a specific issue –

sleepless night, getting rejected from a job interview, etc.

– Maybe of a more general nature – go for a weekend bike ride,

walk to clear my mind

• (Optional) Accomplishment you’re proud of that demonstrates you

are an emotionally balanced person – Good Emotional Intelligence?


What has your emotional “temperature”

reading been lately, on a scale of 0 to 10?

-10-

-9-

-8-

-7-

-6-

-5-

-4-

-3-

-2-

-1-

-0-

Couldn’t feel better!

Feel hopeless


The magic formula:

- How do I feel?

- What am I going to

do to feel better?

Some of the aspects of Mental/Emotional/Spiritual

well being and overall balance:

• “Being” as well as “doing”

• Letting go as well as taking direct action

• Taking care of oneself as well as taking care of others

• Getting support from others as well as acting independently

• Imagining the future as well as taking action on what’s in front of you

• Taking care of the body as well as taking care of the mind

• Playing as well as working

• Time alone as well as time with others

Staying in balance

is a never ending

process. . . . . . . . .

Enjoy the Ride!


Menu of Practices to Build/Maintain Mental/Emotional/Spiritual

Core Strength. (Choose the ones that work for you.)

Honor your needs: How do I feel? What do I need to do to feel better?

Take direct action on the matter(s).

Determine priorities, focus on them, and let go of the rest for now.

Get organized / Get re-organized: Write / re-write your todo list.

Prayer, mediation or other mental / emotional / spiritual practices.

Talk to a trusted friend, career coach, counselor, therapist, spiritual leader.

Gain comfort from supportive family and friends.

Avoid people who drag you down.

Meditative activities like: Being in nature; walks in your neighborhood, the forest, at the ocean; bike riding; swimming

Have unscheduled / “do nothing” time: Have a balance of “be” and “do”.

Journaling.

Positive self talk. (Example: “At least I tried”.)

Forgive yourself: Take the word “should have” out of your vocabulary.

Gratitude list / (Variation: List past surprise successes, events that came out of nowhere that made you happy).

Positive quotes like “Wishbone, Backbone, Funnybone” Riba Mcintyre.

Personal rituals daily or before special events like interviews.


Visualize yourself in a balanced state / Visualize other things you want in your life. Could verbalize this through affirmations.

Personal care: Dress in your favorite clothes, candles, soothing music, get a massage, get a facial.

Get plenty of rest and sleep.

Eat nutritious foods.

Consider minimizing alcohol consumption.

Consider minimizing caffeine .

Physical exercise; stretching / yoga.

Take a temporary break from that aspect of life and focus on another part of life.

Play / have some fun.

Weekend getaway or longer vacation.

Feed your mind with uplifting / inspirational information: Readings-spiritual or religious, movies, music, books, lectures, sermons.

“Be there” for someone else.

If you feel insecure about what others have that you don’t have, see them as a model for what you want.

Turn off the news media when you’re overloaded.

Take it one day at a time.

Menu of Practices (continued)


Mental/Emotional Core Strength: What

will I do to build/maintain mine? Exercise: Using the previous “Menu of Practices” (updated with the ones you do that are not on the list), check off the actions that might uplift you over the next few days/weeks. If you gave yourself a high emotional temperature rating, check off the actions that might help to keep you at that high level.

Suggestion 1: Over time, notice which “Practices” are working for you and turn them into “Routine Practices”. You may need to change up your routine from time to time!

Suggestion 2: Identify some “Routine Practices” for dealing with the “dark days”.

Try this “Check in With Yourself” routine practice: If you’re feeling especially down, in order to see what’s working for you, every day take your “emotional temperature”, and keep a record of your emotional temperature reading in your journal. At the same time, document the “Self Care Actions” that you implemented that day. Soon you’ll gain confidence in what’s working and what’s not working for you, and feel the pride of having gotten through a difficult time.

Copyright 2000, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2012 Career-Crossings,

Mental/Emotional/Spiritual practices can

help to tame the Gremlin / Negative Voice

What lies

does your gremlin

tell you?


Part II:

Planning for a Balanced Life.


Life Balance Categories

Profession / Career

Vocation / Job

Finances / Money

Fitness /

Health

Mental /

Emotional /

Spiritual Community

Service /

Volunteering

Relationships: •Significant Other

•Children

•Parents / Siblings

•Friends

Play / Fun

Leisure /

Entertainment

Home /

Surroundings

(Choose wording and identify categories that fit for you.)


Planning for a Balanced Life:

The parts of the plan

• Dream Statements

• Goals

• Todo’s

• Routine Actions (Habits)


Dream Statement Examples – Rough Draft

• Profession / Vocation

– To land a VP level position….

– To live and work abroad.

– To find a job that I love and that offers me an opportunity to learn and grow.

– To have a short commute to work, or to work from home.

– To be recognized as an outstanding manager.

– To be trusted as a leader based on my past technical skills.

– To lead through example as a manager who likes to “get my hands dirty” doing technical work.

– To have close, caring, and respectful relationships at work.

– To stay current in my field.

– To have my own business.

• Finances

– To have my profession provide for me abundantly.

– To have my mortgage paid in full.

– To have financial independence.

• Fitness / Health

– To maintain my current fitness level.

– To remain in extraordinarily excellent health.

• Home / Surroundings

– For my home to be clean, organized, beautiful and maintained.

• Mental / Emotional / Spiritual

– To keep things simple and uncomplicated.

– To maintain a positive, optimistic and hopeful outlook.

– To enjoy exercise (like biking) that is also meditative.

• Relationships: Significant other; Children; Parents / Siblings; Friends

– To maintain a positive relationship with my siblings.

• Play / Leisure / Entertainment

– To compete professionally in couples dancing.

Include what you want as well as what you already have.


Dreams: Key Points Regarding Dreams

Dreams are our wishes, wants, fantasies and desires.

• Dreams are a natural part of life.

• It is natural for fears and doubts to come up when writing

down our dreams. The gremlin may show up.

• Distant dreams can be more “fuzzy” and the details for

accomplishing them may be unknown.

• Dreams become clearer as next step goals are followed.

• Dreams are about creation and creation can be messy.

• Writing down dreams helps to clarify them.


Why Dream?

Why Write Down Our Dreams? • Dreams provide the big picture of our lives as a step before

defining goals

• Getting clear can impact clarity of priorities.

• Following dreams leads to satisfaction and life balance.

• Dreams help us to define our future.

• Dreams help us to define the next steps/goals for moving

into our future.

• Dreams provide, hope, motivation, and excitement.

• Our dreams inspire others.


Dream Exercise: Write down your dreams

Instructions – Part 1:

1. Using the Life Balance Categories, write dream

statements for each category of life.

2. Write as many as you want. Try for at least one per

category for this exercise. (Add more later.)

A suggested practice: Regularly revisit

and refine your dream statements.


1. Meet with a partner and review your dream

statements to get feedback and ideas.


Dreams: Potential practices and actions

to Support you in Progressing Toward

Your Dreams

1. Have fun with the process!

2. The “Harry Potter’s closet” practice: Go to a quiet / private

place to dream and write them down before sharing with

others. Be selective about who you share your dreams with.

3. Shared Dreams: For significant people in your lives, dream

together.

4. Individual Dreams: Gain support from significant people in

your lives.

5. Dream affirmations.

6. Dream Story Board.

7. Dream folders to collect articles, etc.

8. Read “Oh the Places you’ll go” by Dr. Suess. See reading list

for other books. It’s a fun playful book as you might expect.


Shared Dreams and goals

• Share your dreams and goals with those

who are significant in your life (spouse,

children, others) at the time that’s

appropriate for you.

• Enlist the support of others who are in

your life for the dreams and goals that are

individual to you.


Goals


Goals: Key Points Regarding Achieving Goals

Why is it important to achieve goals?

• Allows us to progress in our lives.

• Helps us to believe in ourselves. Gives us confidence.

• Encourages us to believe in our dreams.

• Helps others to believe in and be a part of our dreams.

• Helps others to participate in our dreams.

• Helps us to grow even when we don’t achieve a goal.

Goals are the parts of the dreams that are materializing.


Goals - Priorities: What areas of your life will be

your priority for the next few months / weeks?

Factors Impacting priorities

• Other important priorities in our life (Life Happens!)

• The clarity of our dreams.

• Pressure from peers, family, society.

• Background and experience.

• Belief in the possibility.

• Fear of the dream / Fear of not doing it.

• I’m not sure if I want it. Changed my mind.


Goals – Priorities: What areas of your life will be

your priority for the next few months / weeks? Exercise: Identify Your Current Priorities (Individually)

• Use the Life Balance Chart for reference. Based on what’s going on now in

your life and what you anticipate, for the next __________months / weeks,

identify the areas of your life that seem to be the ones that you need to give

your attention at this time? Jot down notes and ideas for the goals that come

into your mind.

Exercise: Meet with a partner and review:

• Your priorities for the next ___months/weeks.

• Some of the goals you have in mind.

• **Note: Partners ask probing questions to help them gain clarity about

what’s best for them.

Exercise for later:

• Think more about this over the next few days / weeks. Consider writing

goals for all of the categories of your life, for approximately a 1 year period.

Label the ones you want to focus on during this current period in your life.


Goal Writing Exercise for later: Continue to

Write Your Goals.


1. Continue to write goal statements for the categories of life that are currently your focus. Write as many goals as you want (Be specific with dates of completion).

2. There may also be goals you’ll want to write that are outside the categories of your current focus.

3. If you wish, write both shorter term or longer term goals.


1. Meet with a partner and review your goals to get

feedback and ideas.


Goals: Actions to support you in

achieving goals

1. Get ideas and feedback from others

2. Gratitude: Notice what “is” working

3. Celebrating

4. Quick “wins” (“Wins” provide encouragement)

5. Personal pep talk (For example: At least I tried!)

6. 15 minutes toward fame (A trick to get yourself started)

7. Relationships for emotional support and to “let down”

8. Form or become part of a coaching (ELF) group.

Continue coming to ExeConnect.


Summary: Planning for a Balanced Life

Suggested Activity: Create a Planning Binder and

update it regularly. For each category of your life,

include the following:

• Dreams

• Goals

• Todo’s

• Routine Actions (Habits)


For Further Reading Life Balance

Goleman, Daniel, (Any of his emotional intelligence books)

Dyer, Wayne; Inspiration. (Featured on KQED)

Dyer, Wayne; Being in Balance.

Dreams and Goals

Canfield, Jack and Mark Hansen; Chicken Soup for the Soul, Unlocking the Secrets to Living your Dreams.

Dyer, Wayne; Wishes Fulfilled. (Featured on KQED)

Dickey, R.A.; Wherever I Wind Up. (Featured on National Public Radio)

Weider, Marsha; Making Your Dreams Come True. (Offers workshops in the Bay Area. Featured on Oprah Winfrey)

Weider, Marsha; Dreams are Whispers From the Soul.

Self Care

Venne, Veronique; The Art of Doing Nothing.

Muller, Wayne; Sabbath.

Carlson, Richard & Joseph Bailey; Slowing Down to the Speed of Life.

Other Related

Lloyd, Carol; Creating a Life Worth Living.

Dr. Seuss; Oh, the Places You’ll Go! (For fun with lots of good meaning.)


Wrap-up

What one thing are you going to do next to

maintain life balance while you advance toward

your dreams and goals?

After the session:

• Please email me about:

• How this session was for you.

• Changes you plan for better life balance.

• Make a coaching appointment with us if your

program is still active.


Thank You!

Mike Beasley

Linkedin: http://www.linkedin.com/in/mikebeasley


work life balance right exe connect

Documents

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hopeless copyright

career transition challenges

overall balance

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birkman reference