Working with Angry andWorking with Angry andResistant Youth:Resistant Youth:

Strategies for FosteringStrategies for FosteringMotivation, Self-Discipline,Motivation, Self-Discipline,

and Resilienceand Resilience

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The power of mindsetsThe power of mindsets

Mindsets: The assumptions and expectations weMindsets: The assumptions and expectations wehave for ourselves and others that guide ourhave for ourselves and others that guide ourbehaviorbehavior

The beginning of my career: The negative mindsetThe beginning of my career: The negative mindsetI often possessed as a young clinician andI often possessed as a young clinician andschool principal--It was so easy to blameschool principal--It was so easy to blamepatients and students but not without a cost aspatients and students but not without a cost asfrustration and burnout appearedfrustration and burnout appeared

Lessons learned andLessons learned andquestions raised on myquestions raised on my

journeyjourney

What is the mindset of adults who touch theWhat is the mindset of adults who touch thehearts and minds of angry youth, therebyhearts and minds of angry youth, therebyincreasing cooperation, self-discipline,increasing cooperation, self-discipline,hope, and resilience?hope, and resilience?

Features of a more positiveFeatures of a more positivemindsetmindset

To believe in the resilience of angry andTo believe in the resilience of angry andresistant youth to overcome adversity,resistant youth to overcome adversity,become more cooperative, and beat thebecome more cooperative, and beat theodds against them: To become aodds against them: To become a““charismatic adultcharismatic adult””

““I want to be a charismatic adult. What do II want to be a charismatic adult. What do Ido?do?””

Features of a more positiveFeatures of a more positivemindsetmindset

To believe that if the strategies we are usingTo believe that if the strategies we are usingwith angry children and adolescents arewith angry children and adolescents arenot effective then we must ask, not effective then we must ask, ““What is itWhat is itthat we can do differently to help thethat we can do differently to help thesituation?situation?”” rather than continue to wait for rather than continue to wait forthe youth to change: This should not bethe youth to change: This should not beseen as blaming but rather as empoweringseen as blaming but rather as empoweringourselvesourselves

Features of a more positiveFeatures of a more positivemindsetmindset

To be empathic: We must see theTo be empathic: We must see theworld through the eyes of the youthworld through the eyes of the youthwith whom we workwith whom we work

Exercises to promote empathyExercises to promote empathy

Features of a more positiveFeatures of a more positivemindsetmindset

Exercises to promote empathy: Some basic questions toExercises to promote empathy: Some basic questions toconsiderconsider

Would I want anyone to say or do to me what I have saidWould I want anyone to say or do to me what I have saidor done to this youngster?or done to this youngster?

In anything I say or do with a child or adolescent what doIn anything I say or do with a child or adolescent what doI hope to accomplish?I hope to accomplish?

Am I saying or doing it in a way where the youngsterAm I saying or doing it in a way where the youngsterfeels respected and can truly hear what I have to sayfeels respected and can truly hear what I have to sayand respond constructively?and respond constructively?

Features of a more positiveFeatures of a more positivemindsetmindset

Revealing stories written by angry childrenRevealing stories written by angry childrenand adolescents: What are some centraland adolescents: What are some centralthemes? What do the stories of angry,themes? What do the stories of angry,challenging children and adolescentschallenging children and adolescentsteach us in terms of developing andteach us in terms of developing andimplementing effective strategies?implementing effective strategies?

The negative mindset of manyThe negative mindset of manyangry, at-risk children andangry, at-risk children and

adolescentsadolescents

Helplessness: Lack of control or influence aboutHelplessness: Lack of control or influence aboutevents that happen in oneevents that happen in one’’s lifes life

Hopelessness: Nothing will ever changeHopelessness: Nothing will ever change

Others donOthers don’’t understand and cant understand and can’’t help met help me

The negative mindset of manyThe negative mindset of manyangry, at-risk children andangry, at-risk children and

adolescentsadolescents

I make little difference in the worldI make little difference in the world

General feeling that things are not fairGeneral feeling that things are not fair

I feel unaccepted and unlovedI feel unaccepted and unloved

Features of a more positiveFeatures of a more positivemindsetmindset

To understand the main characteristics ofTo understand the main characteristics ofthe mindset of resilient children andthe mindset of resilient children andadolescents so that we can haveadolescents so that we can haveguideposts for reinforcing this mindset inguideposts for reinforcing this mindset inall of our interactions with angry youth:all of our interactions with angry youth:LetLet’’s look at several of the main featuress look at several of the main featuresof this mindset, all of which are interrelatedof this mindset, all of which are interrelated

The mindset of resilient youthThe mindset of resilient youth

To feel comfortable with and appreciate thatTo feel comfortable with and appreciate thatothers can be of support and helpothers can be of support and help

To be able to define what one has controlTo be able to define what one has controlover and to focus oneover and to focus one’’s time and energys time and energyon these areas of controlon these areas of control

The mindset of resilient youthThe mindset of resilient youth

To believe that one can solve problems and makeTo believe that one can solve problems and makedecisions, which promotes a sense of ownershipdecisions, which promotes a sense of ownership

To define and reinforce oneTo define and reinforce one’’s strengths or s strengths or ““islandsislandsof competenceof competence”” without denying or running from without denying or running fromproblematic areasproblematic areas

The mindset of resilient youthThe mindset of resilient youth

To believe that one can contribute toTo believe that one can contribute toand make a positive difference in theand make a positive difference in theworldworld

To possess self-discipline and self-To possess self-discipline and self-controlcontrol

The mindset of resilient youthThe mindset of resilient youth

To believe that mistakes are experiencesTo believe that mistakes are experiencesfrom which to learnfrom which to learn

To possess a sense of humor that includesTo possess a sense of humor that includesbeing able to laugh at but not ridiculebeing able to laugh at but not ridiculeoneselfoneself

Features of a more positiveFeatures of a more positivemindsetmindset

To strengthen our own To strengthen our own ““stress hardinessstress hardiness”” and lessen the and lessen thelikelihood of burnout: To practice the likelihood of burnout: To practice the ““3 C3 C’’ss””

Commitment: What brings purpose to your life?Commitment: What brings purpose to your life?

Challenge: To interpret difficult situations asChallenge: To interpret difficult situations asopportunities for learningopportunities for learning

Control (personal): To focus your time and energy onControl (personal): To focus your time and energy onareas of your life over which you have some influenceareas of your life over which you have some influence