workshop: hack your brain: tools and tips for building emotional … · 2018-10-23 · workshop:...

73rd AnnualTexas Association

of County Auditors Fall Conference

Holiday Inn San Antonio RiverwalkSan Antonio, Texas

October 16-19, 2018

AnniversarySAN ANTONIO

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DE BÉJAR

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Welcome to the River City

Workshop: Hack Your Brain: Tools and Tips for

Building Emotional Intelligence

Wednesday, October 17

8:15-9:30 a.m.

Dr. Lindsay Bira, LLC, Clinical Health Psychologist

This workshop will expand upon Dr. Bira’s keynote presentation to elaborate

on brain function as it relates to work stress, building emotional intelligence,

and mindfulness. Attendees will be able to explain the brain’s basic response to

work-related stress, define emotional intelligence and its benefits, describe mindfulness, and practice tools and

techniques designed to stimulate the frontal lobe and regulate emotion,

attention, and behavior in a way that benefits work. government and laws

related to the auditor’s office.

Dr. Lindsay Bira, LLC, Clinical

Health Psychologist, San Antonio

Dr. Bira is a clinical health psychologist,

TEDx speaker, and served as assistant

professor of psychiatry at UT Health San

Antonio. She has clinical research

specialty in behavioral medicine and

PTSD/trauma. She speaks often on the

topic of mental health and wellbeing,

serves as a consultant on projects that

seek to incorporate mental health, and

runs a private practice, treating adults

and teens for a range of issues. She

received her Ph.D. in clinical health

psychology from University of Miami.

She completed residency with Harvard

Medical School and Boston University

School of Medicine before completing an

additional two-year fellowship in trauma

psychology. Dr. Bira has been featured

by TEDx, Texas Public Radio, Women’s

Health Magazine, Headspace, Science,

Nature Biotech, and more for her work in

PTSD, mindfulness, brain health and

personal growth. She is passionate about

breaking stigma around mental health to

improve wellbeing and works to bridge

the gap between complex research and

global understanding.

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STRESS

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Resick et al. (2017)


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Diaphragmatic Breathing

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Diaphragmatic Breathing

TACA18

www.DrLindsayBira.com

COMPASSIONMINDFULNESSEXERCISE

INFORMAL:

• Beginwithsomediaphragmaticbreathing.• Now,whereveryouare,lookaroundyou.• Whodoyousee?• Noticeyourimmediatejudgments,negativeandpositive.Thosearenormal.Buttrytodropthem.• Remindyourselfthateveryoneisexactlyhowtheyareforareason.• Remindyourselfthateveryoneistryingthebesttheycan.• Allreactionsmakesensewhenconsideredincontext:whereapersoncamefrom,earlyexperiences,

geneticmakeup,recentevents….• Thinkabouteachpersonandfeelcompassiontowardtheirstruggles.Focusongrowingthatfeeling.• Wishthemwellinyourheadwiththefollowingwords:

WISHINGWELLDIALOGUE:Iwishyouhappiness.Iwishyouhealth.Iwishyoueaseinridingthewavesoflife.

FORMAL:

• Closeyoureyes.• Imaginesomeoneyoulove.Feelthatloveandcompassion.Wishthemwell.• Nowimagineanacquaintanceyouarefondof.Bringupthefeelingsoflove.Wishthemwell.• Nowimaginesomeonewhogratesonyournerves.Trytobringupthosefeelingsofcompassion

towardthem.Wishthemwell.• Nowmaybeimaginesomeonewhoyoureally,reallydislike.Trytobringupthosefeelingsof

compassiontowardthem.Spendtimeonthis.Rememberwhatitfeelslikewhenitcomeseasy.Letitgrow.Wishthemwell.

• Now,imagineyourself.Noticewhatyoufeel.Trytobringupfeelingsofcompassiontowardyourself.Wishyourselfwell.

HackYourBrain:APOLOGIES

DON’T!• Say"I'msorrybut..."=justify/excuse• Blametheotherperson("becauseyou..."or"I'msorryyou...")• Minimizeconsequences("itwasajoke!")• Expectforgivenessoracertainreaction• Usenon-verbalsthatconflict

DO!• Startwith:"I'msorry"• Focusonyourroleinthechaos-responsibility("I'msorryI...")• Expressemotion&empathytoconnect• OfferafixorGivehope-promisebetter• Usematchingnon-verbals

5StepstoaGoodApology1. Aclear"I'msorry"statement2. Expressregret3. Acknowledgenorms/expectations/valueswereviolated4. Empathystatementstoacknowledgefullimpactonotherperson5. Requestforgiveness;promisebettertrying

WAYSTOFACETHEMUSIC:

• Getintouchwithyourvalues.Itdoesn’tmatterwhattheotherpersondid….howdidyouactthatdoesn’tmatchthetypeofpersonyouvaluebeing?Focusonthat.

• Makesureyouremotionisappropriate.o Isithardtofacebecauseyouarefeelingshame?Isitappropriatetofeelbadaboutwhoyou

areasapersonorisguiltmoreappropriate–feelingbadforawayyouacted?o Ifintentionofharmwasn’tthere…thenit’snotevenguilt.Maybeyouactedoutoflineand

neglectedaresponsibility?Muchdifferent.Peeloffunnecessaryemotions.• Thinkaboutapologiesasawaytobuildtrustinarelationshipofanykind.Or,iftherelationshipcan’t

besavedorisn’tahealthyone,lookatisasawaytogrowasaperson.• VULNERABILITY=GROWTH&POWER….thebestleadersareoneswhoexpressempathyand

acknowledgetheirwrongdoings,nomatterhowsmallorseeminglyjustified.

APOLOGIES:Plugitin

ADDRESSDIFFICULTSITUATIONS:• “Inotice_____,Iworry______,Iwonder”

• “Inoticethisprojectismovingmuchslowerthanitneedstobe.Iworrywearenotonthesamepageandwillkeephavingproblemsunlesswegetthere.Iwonderhowwecanallcontributemoreefficiently?”

• Statewhatyoucandobettertogetpeopletobeopentobeingbetterthemselves• “Inoticethisprojectismovingmuchslowerthanitneedstobe.Iworrywearenotonthe

samepageandwillkeephavingproblemsunlesswegetthere.IknowIpersonallyhavebeendraggingmyfeetbecauseofotherdemandsbutalsobecausethisjustisn’tfun.ThatisnotagoodexcusethoughandIamgoingtobebetter.Iwonderwhatyourexperiencehasbeen?Thoughts?”

APOLOGYEXAMPLE:“I’msorryfor_________.”(focusingonyouractions)“IwishIhadsaidordone_____instead.”(expressregretandabetterway)“Doing____wasnotokbecause_____.”(whatvalue/norm/expectationdiditviolate?)“Irealizemyactionscausedyouto_________.”(empathizewiththeimpact)“Iunderstanditmaytakeawhile,butIhopeyoucanforgiveme.”OR“I’mgoingtobebetteraboutkeeping_____incheck.Ipromiseitwon’tbeaproblemagain.CanI____tooffsetthewrong?”(requestforgiveness,promisebettertrying,offersolution)KeepinmindthatyouCANoffersomeexplanationofwhyyouactedthewayyoudid,butbeclearthatitisNOTanexcuseanddoesnotjustifyyourbehavior.Usethisonlyinawaythatcanpromoteempathyintheotherperson;notasawaytoshowyouwereright.

Describe target situation:

All factors involved:

Guilt Level (0-100%)

(people, timing, weather, etc.)

What did you do and why?

Why didn't you do something else?

What was your intention?

If responsible, for what or who?

LOOK AT THE FACTS: APPROPRIATE EMOTION:

www . DrLindsayBira . com

2018 - Lindsay Bira, PhD

What can you say to yourself now about what happened?

Responsibility Pie

Guilt Level (0-100%)

Bothersome thoughts: Healthy Questions:

Who else neglected a responsibility?

Why was the responsibility neglect by you, others?

Were there conflicting roles and responsibilities?

How does responsibility get distributed?

"I should / shouldn't have _____."

"If I would have ____, then it wouldn't

have happened / it would be better."

"It's my / their fault it happened."

Why didn't I? What else was going on?

What was the info I had then?

How do I know this? What other factors were

involved? What else could have happened?

So, I / they intended the harm? What was the

intention? Who, if anyone, intended the harm?

"Things like this should not happen."What are the actual stats? Under what

circumstances does this happen?

www . DrLindsayBira . com

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workshop: hack your brain: tools and tips for building emotional … · 2018-10-23 · workshop:...

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