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One only has to look at the magnitude and rampage of the Ebola Virus in West Africa to realise the ultimate sacrifice that Dr Lukwiya and his team paid to save lives in Acholiland , Uganda and beyond.

On the morning of 7 October 2000, Lukwiya received a phone call from Cyprian Opira – a medical doctor at Lacor Hospital, informing him that a mysterious illness had killed two of the hospital’s student nurses, all of whom had begun bleeding or vomiting blood. Opira asked Lukwiya, who was in Kampala at the time, for help and he arrived that evening, in time to witness the death of a third nursing student, Daniel Ayella. He had head nurse Sister Maria Di Santo bring him the charts of all unusual deaths in the past two weeks and identified 17 cases with similar symptoms. Lukwiya and Sr. Maria spent most of that night reading reports from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) and the World Health Organization (WHO) on infectious diseases that caused bleeding. By the end of their review, they suspected Ebola. The literature on Ebola, largely based on a 1995 outbreak in Kikwit, Congo that had killed four (4) out of five (5) patients, stated that the sicker a patient, the more infectious they became and that dead bodies became highly contagious. One has to remember that UPDF soldiers had been air-lifted from Congo directly to Gulu because they were suspected to have contracted the disease during their pillaging spree there.

Dr.Mathew LukwiyaThe Ebola Hero

On the morning of 8 October, Lukwiya informed staff of his suspicion that the illness was a viral hemorrhagic fever. That afternoon, a group of local community leaders came to the hospital reporting that entire families were dying in their villages. Lukwiya had already set up an isolation ward for suspected Ebola cases, in line with the WHO guidelines. The special ward was staffed by three doctors, five nurses and five nursing assistants, all volunteers. When a South African lab confirmed the Ebola outbreak on October 15, and a WHO delegation arrived in Gulu, they were astonished at the efficiency of the operation. Dr. Simon Mardel, a member of the WHO team, stated,“ I had thought people would be unwilling to work. I thought we would be facing a situation where

Editors WordAnother month, another issue.

The year is already coming to an

end, staff appraisals are done

and resolutions are being reviewed.

Well here is to looking forward

to the end of year parties.

Enjoy BusingeAbidWeere

abducted by the rebels rather than risk St. Mary’s and that they would be responsible for the deaths that would result if the hospital closed. After hours of contentious discussion that extended into the afternoon, Lukwiya switched back to a conciliatory approach, stating that he would remain no matter if everyone left. The meeting ended with him and the nurses singing a song together; he had prevailed.After finishing his days in the isolation ward, Lukwiya would sit with members of the WHO, CDC and other medical teams that had set up in the hospital compound to offer assistance and take blood samples that allowed them to map the course of the disease. His main question for them was how to stop his staff members from becoming infected. The likely explanation in most cases are momentary lapses. Health

workers at St. Mary’s worked 14 hours shifts for weeks in a row while in layers of protective clothing that were stifling in the equatorial country. All that would be required for infection is for a health worker to lose focus for a moment and, after touching a patient, slip a gloved finger under their mask to scratch an itchy nose or rub an eye. One infected St. Mary’s health worker who may have been infected in this way was nurse Simon Ajok. In the early morning of 20 November, Ajok was in the Ebola ward and critical, bleeding from both his nose and gums. Fighting to breathe, Ajok pulled off his oxygen mask and coughed violently, sending a fine spray of blood and mucus against the nearby wall. He then astonished and terrified the night-shift by rising to his feet and staggering into the hallway. The night nurse on duty called Dr.Lukwiya for help. Woken out of bed, Lukwiya put on protective clothing, mask, cap, gown, apron and two pairs of gloves, but not goggles or a face shield to protect the eyes. Explanations for this range from grogginess at being newly awoken or haste to reach a colleague that he had helped train. While it will never be known for certain, the care for Simon Ajok, who died one hour after the doctor arrived, is the most likely candidate for Lukwiya’s infection.On the evening of Sunday, 26 November, two days after he had convinced the nurses to remain on the job, Margaret Lukwiya was startled to hear her husband’s voice sounding heavily congested. He told her that he had a “terrible flu”. The next morning, he and Sister Maria agreed that he had malaria. “We said malaria, but we thought Ebola,” she later said. His fever grew worse through the day, a Monday, and by Wednesday was vomiting and Dr. Pierre Rollin of the CDC took blood samples for

While she was forced to sit on

a stool three feet away from

his bed, she was eventually allowed to hold his foot through three layers of

glove.

testing. A nurse who was administering an intravenous drip that evening at his home was surprised when he began speaking distinctly, though not to her: “Oh, God, I think I will die in my service. If I die, let me be the last.” Then, in a clear voice, he sang “Onward, Christian Soldiers“. Rollin came back with the results the next morning; it was Ebola. Lukwiya immediately asked to be put into the isolation ward, stating “Since I am the boss, I should show an example.”Margaret was finally called on Thursday afternoon and she arrived the next morning. However, Lukwiya’s colleagues were strict in the protocols. While she was forced to sit on a stool three feet away from his bed, she was eventually allowed to hold his foot through three layers of glove. On Sunday, his breathing had become so labored that he was put on a respirator. By early Monday evening the oxygen level of his blood was rising and his pulse was near normal. It appeared that he might pull through but later that evening Lukwiya’s lungs began hemorrhaging, a worst-case scenario. Lukwiya died at 1:20 am on Tuesday, 5 December 2000. When Margaret was informed and came to the ward, the body had already been put into a polyethylene bag. When she asked if they could unzip it a little so she could have a last look, she was refused; the body was too infectious to take any risks.Lukwiya, you gave your life for us and you lived by example….we shall forever be grateful for you probably saved a generation. May your light continue to shine in Acholiland and beyond, you will forever be remembered my brother. RIP.

patients were totally neglected and an isolation ward to which people wouldn’t want to come because it would just be a mortuary. But they had implemented the manual – a very specialized recipe. They were giving highly sophisticated care. It was remarkable. There was even a little wooden device for pulling boots off they had made, exactly as the manual describes.”Finding that their assistance was not required at St. Mary’s, the WHO and Médecins Sans Frontières rapid response teams offered their assistance at Gulu Regional Referral Hospital, where they found corpses abandoned in their hospital beds.The crisis continued to worsen. By the third week of October, the number of Ebola patients had increased to almost 60, overwhelming the volunteers in the isolation ward. Lukwiya ordered other nurses to assist the patients and tried to lead by example, working with Ebola patients from 7 am to 8 pm. However, despite instituting risk minimization procedures, including wearing of robes, multiple gloves, surgical masks and goggles, hospital workers continued to fall ill. Twelve more died. At the funeral of an Italian nun on 7 November, he attempted to rally the morale of his workers: “It is our vocation to save life. It involves risk, but when we serve with love, that is when the risk does not matter so much. When we believe our mission is to save lives, we have got to do our work.”Matters reached a breaking point in late November. While the national epidemic had already peaked, St. Mary’s endured a terrible day. In the 24-hour period ending at the dawn of 24 November, seven patients died, three of which were health workers. Two of these were nurses who did not work in the isolation ward. The thought of infections being passed to health workers who did not directly care for Ebola patients panicked many and the nurses mutinied. The day-shift did not go to work; instead 400 health workers, nearly the entire staff of St. Mary’s, gathered in the assembly hall of the nursing school. When Lukwiya rushed down to ask what they wanted, at least one nurse yelled that the hospital should be closed. Lukwiya silenced the nurses, most of whom he had trained himself, by stating that if the hospital closed he would leave Gulu and never return. He then spoke on how he had let himself be

The militarisation of beauty is

finally here. The moment we have

all been waiting for.

When General Salim Saleh suggested that the UPDF,

which is now into promotion of agriculture programs,

should take on the Miss Uganda pageant, in a bid

to popularise farming among the youth, some of us

thought he was just riffing, the way speech makers do

when they have run out of things to say but still don’t

want to sit down and stop boring us.

Kumbe.Saleh was not joking. Or if he was, he is taking the

joke further. With this

It’s impossible to predict what will come of this. Wait.

Did you say impossible? Nothing is impossible to

those who have no compunctions about making up

shit.So we found an aspiring beauty queen who we know

is going to apply to take part and got an exclusive.

Q: Hi. Nice face. I enjoy looking at it.

A: That is because of my being beautiful. In fact

by the way.Q: Yes. I figured. So you plan to make beauty a

career by pursuing the Miss Uganda crown?

A: Yurrr.Q: Pardon?A: That mbuntiyurrrrr.

Q: Something about that sound resembles the

word “yeah”, so I will just assume you are trying

out an accent.

A: Am Miss Samfransico.

Q: A statement that just barges into the field from

absolutely nowhere.

A: But the one in Najja.

Q: The San Francisco bar in Najjanankumbi, not

the city in California. Of course. Let me slap my

head. Ouch.

A: Yurrrrr.Q: You are very blonde, but besides that, tell us

more about yourself.

A: Yurrrrr. Okay, thank you viewers. My names

I am called Shanna Lynn and my interests are

reading, music, Beyonce and loving.

Q: What do you love specifically?

A: What I said. Music and Beyonce and reading.

Are you paying a tension?

Q: It was a follow up question. Just to get more

details.A: For my funs?

Q: Or your fans. Depending.

A: Okairrrrrr.

Q: So, what do you read?

A: Yurrr. I love reading. Facebook.

Q: Ouch!

By Ernest Bazanye

Miss Uganda UPDF: Beauty with An

Agricultural Purpose

A: What?Q: I rolled my eyes too far back just then. Now, tell

us what inspired you to become a beauty pageant

contestant, because that is the sort of question asked

in these interviews.

A: I believe that beauty queens as opinion leaders.

We can help to promote opinions such as agriculture.

Q: Also, it was an easy way for a chick like you to get

validation and prizes.

A: Yurrrrr.Q: The promotion of agriculture to a new generation

which seems more interested in blue collar work is

important if Uganda is going to take the potential we

have and develop into, well, a developed nation. Is

this why you decided to get involved in Miss Uganda

this year?Q: I go every year but Nanyonjo he doesn’t allow me.

Q: How do you feel about agriculture?

A: I love it. There are many uses of agriculture, like,

in Uganda. Like production. Like it produces foods.

Foodstuffs. Yurrrrr. Many foods come from Agriculture.

Yurrrrr.Like chips and soda and chicken.

Q: How do you feel that as Miss Uganda you and the

UPDF will promote agriculture among the youth?

A: And gorillos. Also gorillos.

Q: Let’s answer the question now.

A: Yes there are challenges in agriculture which me

as the youth and … other youths also them, we can

contribute to like improving…. agriculture in Uganda.

Q: I need you to think, Freda. Think and give me a

real answer.A: My names I am called Shanna Lynn.

Q: Your name is Freda Namukasa. Answer my

question before this interview becomes too long.

A: Challenges in Agriculture? Ummm, okay like for

example, how agriculture is so dirty? Me I don’t like

there is too much soil.

Q: That is a unique perspective.

A: And the animals are so smelly. Due to their

defacations. I think they can teach them not

to excreyate around too much. Maybe they

make for them pampers. And deo. We can

innovate ways.

Q: How do you feel that the UPDF

involvement in the pageant will help you

overcome these challenges?

A: I think it is good because instead of digging

weeds, we can shoot them.

But soldiers they are also dirty. And they don’t

like using condoms.

UPDF taki

Hey there!

It’s been ages since we’ve talked. Of course, “ages” between the two of us is actually less than 24 hours. Remember yesterday? When I couldn’t send money to a relative who was in dire need of it–something about the mobile-money system server failing? Oh the sweet, sweet memories.

*Side-bar* I have to say, “Welcome to the new world" is a pretty un-befitting slogan for such 1990-slow-terribly-unreliable services. Maybe you should change it to “Slowy-Breaks-A-Lot” from now on. Just a thought.

Anyway. You must have missed me, because the service is down again! I know how much you enjoy our long talks, but these system crashes are not the right way to get a girl’s attention.

What’s that? You’re not obsessed with me and trying to instigate an interaction? How else can you explain all of the system failures that have resulted in our hour-long chats?

This is the stuff romantic comedies are made of! I mean, I would have thought that by now you would have my service running smoothly due to your heartfelt devotion to me, but maybe you’re not the Lloyd Dobler kind of romantic. Maybe you don’t want to make being with me your job.

Maybe this isn’t a romance at all, and you’re going all Revenge of the Sith on me. Admittedly, I don’t even really know what that would mean, but it just sounds like something you would do.

The point is: System crashes have become a pretty regular occurrence since I joined your network a short 6 years ago. I can’t say for certain how many times I’ve experienced crashes, since I have trouble counting when I’m blinded by rage, but I can say that this is at least the 2000th outage I’ve had. It’s the fourth today.

You may think that you’re helping. I know how some people enjoy the

Letter to MTN UgandaBy Stray Birdy

drama of “Will the service I pay for work today?” But not me. Thanks for trying to add some excitement to my life, but I manage to induce plenty of catastrophes without your services.

For example, I’m in the middle of trying to move to a new house, which is SUPER stressful. And the little town I am moving to is far away from where my friends stay, but I have to go because I got a job in the neighborhood. And the job, incidentally, starts in two weeks. AND I HAVE NO PLACE TO LIVE!

I’m sure house-hunting introduces all kinds of new stresses, and if I had to deal with that stress AND your ridiculously unreliable service, I’d probably wind up with a noose around my neck somewhere.

Which reminds me: Do you sponsor emotional breakdowns? I’ve noticed that you sponsor a number of initiatives but I wasn’t sure what your policy is regarding the sponsorship of rage-induced hysteria inspired by your products and services? Not sure? It’s okay, you can get back to me on that.

Don’t get me wrong. Things haven’t been all bad. Remember that time you used to give me 60 minutes a day to call my ex-boyfriend? FOR FIVE HUNDRED SHILLINGS! And the times you have given me free SMSs and minutes as a reward for my loyalty? That was awesome. Was that the honeymoon period?

Have we already moved onto the part of our relationship where you fart a lot and stop clipping your toenails? Where’s the romance? I need you to show me a little passion.

And in the meantime, if you could get your act together on this whole “service that I pay you for” thing, that’d be swell.

3 Simple Tests To Check an Egg FreshnessHow to Tell if an Egg is Fresh

First test:Take a deep glass bowl or cup and fill it with water. Gently place the egg inside and observe what happens.Fresh egg will sink completely and will be “stuck” on the bottom.Not so fresh eggs will be at the bottom with one part and the other part will be raised to the surface.Eggs that float on the water are pretty old and risky for consumption so do not eat them.

Second test:Take the egg in your hand and hold it against your ear. Shake it gently and hear the sound coming from inside the egg.If you hear no sound, the egg should be fresh and good for consumption.If you hear unusual noise coming from inside the egg, it is probably old.

Third test: Take an egg, break down the shell from the edge of the plate and open it. Pour it into bowl and observe its looks.If bile is standing firm and raised and the white remains gathered around it, the egg is fresh.

If the yolk is firm but slightly spread and little bit pressed and the white is completely transparent and has not spilled, the egg is older, but still good for consumption.If the yolk is soft, completely flat or has diffused immediately, and the white is watery and fully diluted, the egg is probably old, so do not eat it.

GuardianA brush with the

Recently a comic strip featuring an African hero, The Guardian, has been making quite a splash on social media. We caught up with the artist, Brian Humura, behind the wave-maker and asked if he could beat superman... well at least Batman

What is the guardian about?Guardian is about a demi god from bunyoro folklore who basically plays the role of sentinel with alot of doubt questioning his ability to protect what he holds dear. It’s the genesis of a Superhero,the chronicles of a legend.

What does it represent?I guess you could say he represents duty and honor. An Ideal that has long been forgotten in this country. Okay, that sounded a little preachy hahahaha but well, you have got to start somewhere, right?

How did the idea come about?I was seated in the library back in highschool and it hit me "wouldnt it be cool to have a Ugandan superhero, one with ties to our heritage" From there, the rest is history. Hehehe

Why this form of delivery?Why you ask. Its simple really. I have always loved

comic books. Ive learnt so much from them. As a kid, I used to ask myself "what would batman do in this situation" Hopefully readers of the series will ask a different version of the same question...."what would Guardian do in this situation?"

Do you use hand drawn or computer to do your art ?They are hand drawn using a tablet. Basically mostly use photoshop for all the artwork these days

Does the Guardian like a particular type of my music?HahahahahahaThats a funny one. Ive never really thought about that. Im so going to draw him listening to Irene ntale or bebe cool.

Can he beat the zombies in MJs thriller?MJ's zombies were pretty quick on their feet but Guardian can take them. Hes faster, stronger and to top it all off, he enjoys a good rolex. Hahahaha

If he were to take a desk job , what would it be?If I told you that, I’d have to kill you. Major spoiler alert. Hahahahaha. Anyway, there is something about a real estate agent that sings to me.

Does the Guardian in any way represent any aspect of his creators?Yes, id like to think so. I have always valued Loyalty, loyalty to friends, family and my work.

Do you work with anyone on The Guardian?Yes I do. They help me in all the ways that matter. Always pushing me to do better. I’m still learning the art of story telling in all its might so itsalways good to have an extra pair of eyes. I worked with Cheryl Hama on the first two issues. Zack Atama is developing the website and Davis Hereza who edits. He will also handle the publicity once the site is up and running.

Who are his friends and villains?Hahaha! I cant answer that right now because Id be giving too much away. What I can tell you is friends come and go, Villians rise and fall. The devil is in the details.hehe

Is there a particular story from local folklore that inspired Guardian? I was intrigued by the Batembuzi. They inspired the whole story. We know so little about these gods and yet the story has incredible potential creatively. Guardian will

bring the story of these fascinating gods to the readers in an Exhilarating ride with lots of twists and turns. All you have to do is check out our page on facebook.

Who are the batembuzi?The Batembuzi were a medievalcivilisation in the Lake Victoria-Nyanza area of the African GreatLakes region. They are credited bymythology and oral tradition to bethe originators of the Empire ofKitara. They were worshiped as gods because of their divine creative power.Come on, you have got to admit. Now thats pretty cool

How does one access copies of the Guardian?The first issue is off the market now. I Have a

few limited copies left. Decided to go digital for the second issue to see how it would perform. Kinda like a beta test for the website. I will be posting the last pages of issue two on our facebook page www.facebook.com/guardianoneofugandasheroes in november. Be sure to check it out.

If Thor and the Guardian were to go head to head, who would win? Why?Hahahahathats a good question. Thor is quite strong in terms of raw power. I mean hes a god. Ultimately, it comes down to one question...what makes a great hero? The ability to overcome over whelming odds. To do what needs to be done without compromising his or her values. I think Guardian would win if he was up to the task. Hehe

So basically the Guardian can whoop the justice league. Good to knowHahaha...the Justice league? My mouth is sealed on that one.

Any plans of introducing more heroes?Yes I do. Infact I already have another hero whose part of the same comic universe as Guardian. MAXIMUS runs on www.ugandacartoonnetwork.com The goal right now is to introduce more heroes through guardian and hopefully, down the line, they will get their own titles. You need man power for that. No man is an island.

So apart from drawing the Guardian, what do you do?Man, drawing is all I do. Just kiding. That would be nuts.I like to play tennis when I can. Truth be told Guardian takes 90% of my time. Weekends are a different story all together. "A party is a party"

All of the characteristics HR looks for in a job candidate are the polar opposite of what enlightened leaders seek in new talent. While HR is tediously focused on making certain that candidates "play well in the sandbox," strong managers want those who don't venture near the proverbial box. Which creates a conundrum and a paradox:to get to the latter you need to lie to the

Why You Must Lie On Job Interviews And What You Must Lie About

former. As well you should. Why be held hostage to a broken system?Case in point: the HR person will likely ask you if you work well with others? Well, many of the smartest and most innovative people on the planet simply don't. Not that they are trouble makers or in any way venal but they simply prefer to work alone, creating marvels of software, mathematical formulas or extraordinary feats of creativity. But can they tell HR:"No. I don't really like working with others. I guess you can say I do my best work by myself.

My professors at MIT used to call me a 'loner.'"HR's universal reaction to this honest response would be "Next." Einstein and Newton would have failed their test.For years, my firm worked with a hedge fund that invests capital based on quantitative strategies, developed by their team of math and physics brainiacs. None even pretend to enjoy the social aspects of the work environment. For them, it is all about hibernation, concentration and introspection. They never stepped into aa sandbox as kids and they aren't about to start now.Over the course of an intense year when we examined and adjusted many of the practices of the fund, management came to recognize that the caliber of the candidates coming to them for second-stage interviews was way down below the quality hierarchy. On closer examination, we discovered the HR filter was turning the best and the brightest away before they could be seen by senior fund managers -- all geeks and loners in their own right. The solution was simple: HR was limited to managing the fund's employee benefits and policies and completely removed from the hiring process.Another HR question that demands a lie goes like this:"So tell me why you want to work for our company."In many cases, the honest answer would be:"I think this is the best place to make a fortune before I'm 35. I really want a chunk of those stock options."But to the HR paint-by-numbers gang, that would lead to a fast dismissal out the fire exit. To get to the next-stage interview you have to lie, waxing poetic about the company's innovative culture or lionizing it's irreverent founder (who, by the way, is eager to have brilliant wealth-seeking hot shots on the team).The old adage "Just be yourself," is a fool's game

when it comes to the hiring process. Instead, at the outset, you need to be what HR wants you to be. And in most cases, you need to (and very well should) lie to win a pass to see the real players in the company. The ones with a 180 degree different (from HR) perspective on life/business/success and how to get what you want in your career.Look, I don't believe in making lying a way of life--in fact, I appreciate blunt and honest people and think of myself in this way. But when a system is stacked against the truth, dance around it.

CEO of marketing firm MSCO, Inc.| Bestselling Author of Your Marketing Sucks & King Icahn

By Mark Stevens

Eleven is an odd number only if you don’t hear the music… I have been amusing myself with many things lately that I almost forgot to celebrate this beautiful life that God has given me in my signature style. Today I make 11 years since I was born again, I must admit I feel like a real eleven year old lately, exploring , getting burnt and

almost always returning home with wounds from my fights and falls but to lavish in His sweet scented balms.One of the things I have been exploring in the last eleven years is music; I love and appreciate music and every genre for me passes except for hard rock- I am yet to mature into that one. I am still not sure whether soul or country stole my soul but this I am sure one is the mother of the other. Music is the outburst of the soul they say- I say music is the heart of the soul. These are my favourite elevens.

The elevens of old include; Who am I by Casting Crowns;This song was my favourite song for almost three years when I first got saved. It speaks volumes about the “lostness’’ of a soul before finding Jesus.The line goes “Who am I, that the eyes that see my sinWould look on me with love and watch me rise again?” That’s how I felt then and that’s how I feel (even more) today.2. Jesus Lover of my soul by Hillsong;This song has got two verses but I could sing them throughout the night, they always remind me of Jesus’ wonderful love. This song reminds me of my baby steps into salvation.3. Love is the more excellent way by Babie Mason;I first came across this song about nine years ago and its melodies still are deafening. The words are those in 1 Corinthians 13 but the tune makes them all the sweeter to listen to.4. Coat of many colours by Dolly Parton;I grew up listening to this song, it only occurred to me recently that she sang about Joseph ‘s cloak. I like the flow of this song, reminds of that real old authentic country music that would make you form images of what the

My Eleven is not an odd numbermusician was looking at as they sang the song.5. Across the bridge by Jim Reeves; Another song I grew up listening to that reminds me of the authentic country music of old. Jim’s husky voice makes you want to see the bridge across which there’s no more sorrow. He makes you want to follow the steps of the King across that bridge, I thank God I crossed that bridge long after I knew what bridge this legend sang about.6. Measure of a man by 4Him;This song is among my favourite purely because of the lyrics. It simply reminds me about the measure of a man.7. To the river I am going by Brian DoerksenYou just need to listen to this by yourself, if you don’t feel like heaven then go for ice-cream or move to Iceland.8. In Christ alone by Keithy Getty;I know this hymn was only composed in 2001 but it sounds like those old Methodist Wesley compositions. I like the version done by Michael English, it has a feel of class, a heavenly class to that and the lyrics are life changing.9. In the Sweet by and by composed by Sanford Fillmore Bennett;I must admit I like this song because I have not come across a shorter song with such meaning. It’s a powerful composition, I can’t wait to sail along that beautiful shore.10. Carry your Candle by Kathy Trocolli;I just love the song and the hope in it and the life there of.11. Amazing Grace by John Newton;This sounds cliché but I actually like this song, every version of it is just classy especially the Chris Tomlin version. But outside the lyrical genius of John Newton in this song I see, the thing every soul longs for; some in denial, some

in submission and others in indifference, the soul needs grace! This remains by no measure my favourite hymn, not even ‘silent night’ comes close! The contemporary eleven are;1. Man of sorrows by Hillsong;There is something magnetic about this song , that silently draws me to the man of sorrows, that hinges me to his cross, that makes me weep not for him but myself because I finally see me.2. Glorious day by Casting Crowns;I know this song is an old hymn and yes that’s one of the things I love about Casting crowns- they refine old things. Just makes me anticipate that glorious day.3. I know who Iam by Sinach;Just dance and dance and dance again after all you know who you are. Don’t forget to dance again and keep dancing!4. Jesus take the wheel by Carrie Underwood;She mixes country with some little RnB and just like that I am hooked.5. I look to you by Whitney Houston;I am not sure if it’s the song I loved ,the singer or the composer because truth be told I just love the song.6. Stronger by Mandisa;Enough said!7. Nothing is Impossible by Planet Shakers;This song is among favourite simply because it reminds me that much and ofcourse it has a beat that makes me want to go through the roof. God is the God of possibilities.8. Rooftops by Jesus CultureI will proclaim from whichever rooftop I am made to climb that “ Jesus you’re LORD and I am yours!”9. 10,000 reasons by Matt RedmanThis song is heavenly, yes it is!10. Glorious ruins by Hillsong11. Orphans of God by Avalon; I am not sure if this song is contemporary or old but in my heart it’s new every single day because it keeps calling me home,

By Allan Brian

1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig." 2. "His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity." 3. "I would not allow this employee to breed." 4. "This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't be." 5. "Works well when under constant supervision and when cornered like a rat in a trap." 6. "When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet." 7. "He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle." 8."This young lady has delusions of adequacy." 9. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them." 10. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot." 11. "This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better." 12. "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together." 13. "A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus." 14. "He certainly takes a long time to make his pointless." 15. "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier." 16. "I would like to go hunting with him sometime." 17. "He's been working with glue too much." 18. "He would argue with a signpost." 19. "He has a knack for making strangers immediately." 20. "He brings joy whenever he leaves the room." 21. "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell." 22. "If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one." 23. "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on." 24. "A prime candidate for natural de-selection." 25. "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it." 26. "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming." 27. "Has two brains: one is lost and the other is out looking for it." 28. "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week." 29. "If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change." 30. "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean." 31. "It's hard to believe that he/she beat out 1,000,000 other sperm." 32. "One neuron short of a synapse." 33. "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled." 34. "Takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes."

QUOTES TAKEN FROM ACTUAL FEDERAL EMPLOYEE PERFORMANCE EVALUATIONS:

Does your com

pany organisational chart look like this?

25/October/2014 Anthony Nahamya, Bwanika Mike, Jean Pierre Ntahimpereye, Joe Tumwebaze, Ken Walczak, Peter Nkoola, RozaAthieno.

26/October/2014 Nakidde Tracey, Samuel Abone.

27/October/2014 AngellaDeivosAngella, Bethan Dear, Cliff Mugisha , Laura Blumberga, Quts Reloaded.

28/October/2014 Kevin Mia ,Nkurunziza Diana.29/October/2014 Andrew Paul.

30/October/2014 Favour Phina, Howard ZypWodomal , NolbertAbooki Mata, Paul Cypher SylarAyebale , SenyongaMaclian.

31/October/2014 Isaac John Muswane-Madda, Matthias Hoffman, Reagan Oc ,RonahTush.

01/November/2014 Abi Deus, IbrahimKahumuza, Paul KawonawoKakeeto.

02/November/2014 Akugizibwe Larry Ateenyi, CK Ceo, Diane Busingye R S, FreydrykBergensKamyuka , Magnificent Mimi, Mubiru Rodger. Rubaiza Ronmichael.

03/November/2014 Edgar Muzinya, Jacqueline Nambatya , Kabagenyi Bella, KatalihwaMusitafa , Kwame Awere-Gyekye.

04/November/2014 BenonSetenda, Joe Powell,Maxi Milano

05/November/2014 Ahmed Hadji , Enoch ElasuPrimon , Syl Ivy

Happy Birthday06/November/2014 Kabagambe Peter, Musinguzi Abbey, Philippe Mesotten, TiberindwaZakaria, Vincent Kamara.07/November/2014 MalingaRonald , Twine Julius, UmahTete Moses Otim.

08/November/2014 Aline Fay-Chatelard, Andrew Kabala Kryptonite , Bingham BêllâmyMusë, HasahyaGodie , Matovu Ivan Festus , Matthew Kasekende ,Moses Magogo , T.johnson W.

09/November/2014 Brian Baingana, ImaanKichou, Pro Kris ,Tamale Harry.

10/November/2014 AfraApio, Byaruhanga Franklin , KalemaNicholas , MananaBirabi F , Pang Tsang Sing, Patrick Massa Birabi.

11/November/2014 AlexandreLwamboChito, ChikuLeandreLwambo , DaudiBitangaro, Joseph Ssebayiga , KenethSululuAmooti, Nsingwire Fred, PatoKam.

12/November/2014 Elise Malchair, Muhoozi Edward.13/November/2014 Donald Agaba, Hassan Higenyi, Tink Sam.

14/November/2014 Jeff Kayonga, Magambo Phillip Kimuda, Martin Mutabingwa, Nangumba Brian.

15/November/2014 MilegeAfrojazz, Okwii Richard, Philippa Bogere, Princess Sharm Kim, Salva Robert.

16/November/2014 Geraldine Mukesha, Kwesiga James

17/November/2014 JamaldeanNsimbe, Julian Mwine,ToriNakanwagi.

18/November/2014 Anthony J Kateeba, Hamira W Moses, Martin Mugi, Nakabuye Mariah, Tumwine Moses.

19/November/2014 Andrew Atuhaire, Andrew Kasana, Innocent Noxy, Ivan Wamala, John Quinn, Maria Gabriela Gonzalez,Mutebi Ron.

20/November/2014 Atyang Jimmy, Conrad de Lexuss, Ondyer J. Joshua, Richard Levy, SerumagaMakaya Baker.

21/November/2014 Birungi Maureen, Carol Mugisa, Dylan Hussein Kiggundu, MaghanSowande A. Keita.

22/November/2014 DaudiNabaasa, Ismail Kasaija, Jacque-doo November,JoyceKityo, Mukwonga John, Sozi One-Bps, Tony Grace Mulinde.

23/November/2014 Billy Birungi, Dominic Kamara, Emmanuel Ineget, Kaswarra Gonzalez Emma, Kussy Harry, RockT'aiTsungAkaTimothyOkwi, TugceVulas.

24/November/2014 Brian Kawuma, Colin Mukiza, Dalia De La Torre, Elvis Hues, Namyalo Brenda, Sue Katamba.