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• •

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Crombie Jardine PUBLISHING LllVIITED

Office 2, 3 Edgar Buildings,

George Street, Bath,

BAI 2FJ www.crombiejardine.com

Originally published by Crombie Jardine Publishing Limited in paperback in 2004, 1-905102-02-X

This edition published in 2007 ISBN 978-1-906051-07-5

Copyright© 2004, Crombie Jardine Publishing Limited

All rights are reserved. No prut of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying,

recording or othetwise, without the prior written pe1mission of the publisher.

Original concept and compilation by Crombie Jru·dine Printed & bound in China

Proverb

a short sentence

based on long experience

CONTENTS

School Days page 1 Chinese proverbs page 7 Life page 11 Professions page 37 Work page 45 Drink page 51 Getting Old page 61 Death page 69 Wise Men page 73 Fools page 81 Bravery & Cowardice page 87 It's All in the Mind page 89 Tomorrow page 93 Patience page 97 Pessimism page 99 Truth&Lies page 103 Money page 109 Happiness page 115 Friends & Foes page 119 Women page 127 Men page 131 Marriage page 133 God & the Devil page 141 P.C. Proverbs page 149

SCHOOL DAYS

A secondary school teacher made a list of

some well known proverbs and gave the class

the first half of the proverbs, so that they

could complete the sayings. Here's what they

came up with:

AS YOU Ma!Ge YOUJ\3 BeD so

SH9LL YOU ... Mess it UP.

Bettel\3 to Be sare tHaN ...

Hit a teacHel\3.

YOU CaN Leao a HOJ6Se

to watel\3 But ... HOW?

2

DON't Bite tHe HaND tHat ...

LOOIGS DiBtY.

A MiSS iS as GOOD as a ... MB.

¥OU CaN't teaCH aN

OLD DOG ... MatHS.

THe PeN iS MiGHtieB

tHaN tHe ... PiGS.

AN iDLe MiND iS ...

tHe Best wa¥ to BeLax.

THeBe'S NO SMO!Ge

WitHOUt ... POLLUtiON.

3

A PeNN¥ saveD ...

iS NOt MUCH.

TWO'S COMP8N¥. tHJoee·s ...

tHe MUSKietee1os.

L8UGH aND tHe WOJoLD L8UGHS WitH

¥OU. Clo¥ 8ND ... ¥OU MUSt BLOW

¥0Ulo OWN Nose.

CHiLDJoeN SHOULD Be seeN

aND NOt ... SM8CKieD Olo GJoOUNDeD.

WHeN tHe BLiND

LeaoetH tHe

BLiND ... Best Get

out Of' tHe WH¥.

4

NeveB UNDeBeStiMate tHe

POWeB Of ... teBMites.

NO News iS ...

iMPOSSiBLe.

Love aLL. tBUSt ... Me.

DON't PUt Off tiLL tOMOBBOW

WHat ... YOU Put ON to GO to BeD.

NONe aBe so BLiND as ...

Stevie WONDeB.

If at fiBSt YOU DON't succeeD ...

Get New BatteBies.

5

PeOPLe iN GLass

Houses SHOULDN't ...

JoUN aJoOUND NaKieD.

THeJoe's NO

FOOL LiKie ...

UNCLe JOHNNY.

6

CHINESE PROVERBS

7

BaseBaLL WBONG:

M8N WitH fUUB B8LLS

C8NNOt W8LKi.

CBOWDeD eLevatoB SMeLL

DiffeBeNt to MiDGet.

M8N WHO faBt iN CHUBCH

Sit iN OWN pew.

M8N WHO BUN iN fBONt

Of caB Get tiBeD.

M8N WHO BUN BeHiND caB

Get exHausteo.

8

MaN WitH HaND iN POC!Get

feeL COCIGY aLL DaY.

MaN WHO waLIG tHBOUGH

aiBPOBt tUBNStYLe SiDeways

GOiNG to BaNGIGOIG.

MaN WHO fiGHt WitH Wife aLL DaY

Get NO Piece at NiGHt.

MaN WHO DBiVe Li!Ge HeLL

BOUND to Get tHeBe.

MaN WHO uve iN GLass House NeeD

to CHaNGe CLOtHeS iN BaseMeNt.

MaN WHO DBOP watCH iN tOiLet

BOUND to Have CBaPPY tiMe.

9

M8N WHO waNt PBettY

NUBSe MUSt Be PatieNt.

M8N WHO PUSH Pi8NO DOWN

MiNeSHaf't Get A f'Lat MiNeB.

PaSSiONate IGiSS Li!Ge SPiDeB'S weB:

SOON Leao to UNDOiNG Of' f'L¥.

ViBGiNitY Li!Ge BUBBLe:

ONe PBiCIG aLL GONe.

10

LIFE

II

42% of aLL statistics

a1oe MaDe uP.

(ANON)

ABiLitY iS WHat YOU aloe aBLe to DO.

MOtivatiON DeteBMiNes WHat

you Do. attituDe DeCiDes HOW

weLL YOU DO it.

(ANON)

THe aaseNt a1oe aLways WBONG.

(ENGLiSH)

ACt as if YOU CaNNOt faiL

(SOUtH Af~iCa)

12

ALL GOOD tHiNGS COMe to

WHOevel\3 Gets tHe16e Fil6St.

(ANON)

ALW8¥S J6eMeMBel6: ¥0U'J6e UNiQUe.

Just UIG'e evel6¥0Ne eLse.

(ANON)

AN aNecoote iN tiMe

saves B016eDOM.

(ANON)

A 08¥ WitHOUt SUNSHiNe iS

Li!Ge ... NiGHt.

(ANON)

A CLeaN House iS tHe SiGN OF a

MiSSPeNt LiFe.

(ANON)

13

A CLeaB CONSCieNce iS USU8LL¥ tHe

SiGN OF a Bao MeM016¥.

(ANON)

A MaN SUBBOUNDeD B¥ P¥GMies

WiLL 8LW8¥S LOOIG BiG.

(ANON)

AMBitiON WitHOUt IGNOWLeDGe iS

Li!Ge a caNoe WitHOUt a P8DDLe.

(ANON)

AN aPPLe a 08¥ IGeeps tHe DOCtOB

away BeMeMBeB tHat tHe Next

tiMe ¥OU caN't Get aN aPPOiNtMeNt.

(ANON)

AN¥tHiNG WOBtH talGiNG seBiOUSL¥

iS WOBtH POIGiNG FUN at.

(ANON)

14

AS LONG as ¥0UB MiStaiGes aBe New

ONeS ¥OU caN aBGUe tHat ¥OU aBe

MalGiNG PBOGBeSS.

(ANON)

BOBeDOM iS tHe PBiCe ¥OU Pa¥ fOB

sta¥iNG out Of tBOUBLe.

(ANON)

CBaP OB Get Off tHe POt.

(AMe~iCaN)

DaNGeB aND DeLiGHt GBOW ON tHe

saMe staLIG.

(ENGLiSH)

DiSCiPLiNe iS MalGiNG tHe CHOiCe

BetweeN WHat ¥OU waNt NOW aND

WHat ¥OU waNt MOSt.

(ANON)

15

DO NOt fOLLOW tHe PatH;

GO WHe16e tHe16e iS NO PatH

aND BeGiN tHe tBaiL ...

(SOUtH Af~iCa)

DO NOt iNSULt tHe MOtHeB

aLLiGatoB UNtiL afteB ¥OU Have

CBOSSeD tHe BiVeB.

cHaitiaN)

DON't Bite tHe HaND tHat feeDS ¥OU.

THat's MaSOCHiStiC.

(ANON)

DO NOt waLIG BeHiND SOMeONe fOB

tHe¥ Ma¥ NOt LeaD. DO NOt waLIG

aHeaD Of tHeM. fOB tHe¥ Ma¥ NOt

fOLLOW. DO NOt waLIG BeSiDe tHeM.

eitHeB. Just Leave tHeM aLoNe.

(ANON) 16

•• ~ ooN't tatGe Life too

seTeiOUSLY;

it's NOt PeTeMaNeNt.

(ANON}

17

DON't WOBB¥; it ONL¥ seeMS

pe1ove1oteD tHe fiBst tiMe.

(ANON)

ENSUBe ¥DUB KiitCHeN iS KiePt

CLeaN - eat out.

(ANON)

EVeB¥ONe Loves Justice iN tHe

8ff8iBS Of OtHeBS.

c1taliaN)

EXPeBieNce iS SOMetHiNG ¥OU Get

Just afte1o ¥OU NeeD it.

(ANON)

18

EX.Pe2ieNce iS a COMB

Natu2e Gives to MeN

WHeN uHeY a2e BaLD.

(EasteEN)

19

E¥es t1oust tHeMseLves But ea1os

t1oust otHe1os.

(Ge:BMaN)

FOJotUNe iS BLiND BUt NOt iNViSiBLe.

(FBeNCH)

GeNiUS iS ONe PeJoCeNt iNSPiJoatiON.

NiNet¥-NiNe PeJoCeNt PeJoSPiJoatiON.

(THOMas EDiSON)

GOOD JUDGMeNt COMeS fJoOM B8D

ex:PeJoieNce. 8ND a LOt Of tHat

COMes DiJoeCtL¥ fJoOM

B8D JUDGMeNt.

(ANON)

20

He WHO seBves two MasteBs Has

to ue to oNe.

('POBtUGUeSe)

He WHO LaUGHS Last HaSN't

Got aLL tHe facts.

(ANON)

He WHO see!GS tBOUBLe

NeveB Misses.

(ENGLiSH)

He WHO SMiLes iN a CBiSiS Has fOUND

SOMeONe to BLaMe.

(ANON)

I DON't IGNOW WHat aPatH¥ iS

aND I DON't caBe!

(ANON)

21

If a MaN ooes His aest.

wHat eLse is tHeBe?

(GeNeBaL GeOBGe s. PattON)

If at fiBst ¥Ou DON't succeeo.

CONSiDeB ¥0UBSeLf aveBaGe.

(ANON)

If at fiBst ¥Ou DON't succeeo.

PaBaCHUtiNG iS NOt tHe

SPOBt fOB ¥OU.

(ANON)

If we caNNOt Get WHat

we LiK'ie. Let us LiK'ie

wHat we Get. (SPaNiSH)

22

If YOU aroe ON a BOaD

to NOWHeBe, fiND

aNOtHeB BOaD.

(50UuH AfBiCa)

23

If YOU BeaLLY waNt to DO

SOMetHiNG. YOU'LL fiND a W9Y; W YOU

DON't. YOU'LL fiND aN excuse.

(ANON)

If YOU waNt to Be HeaBD.

speaKi UP. If YOU waNt

to Be seeN. staND UP. If YOU

waNt to Be aPPBeciateD.

Just SHUt UP.

(ANON)

INStiNCt iS StBONGeB tHaN

UPBBiNGiNG.

(I Bi SH)

1t is NeveB a GOOD iDea to test tHe

wateB WitH BOtH feet.

(ANON)

24

JeaLOUS¥ aND FeaB

Have BiG e¥es.

(SeBBiaN)

JOiN tHe ABM¥. Meet iNteBeStiNG

PeOPLe. IGiLL tHeM.

(ANON)

Just BeFoBe DaWN iS tHe DaBIGest

HOUB. so iF ¥ou·Be PLaNNiNG to

PiNCH ¥0UB NeiGHBOuB·s MiLIG.

tHat•s tHe tiMe to oo it.

(ANON)

L8UGH aND tHe WHOLe WOBLD L8UGHS

WitH ¥OU. CB¥ aND ¥OU CB¥ aLONe.

1t•s caLLeD FaiB-weatHeBeD.

(ANON)

25

Just; Because you'Be

PaBaNOiD DOeSN't; MeaN

t:iHeY aBeN't; af't:ieB YOU.

(ANON}

26

LiFe iS WHat H8PP€NS WHeN YOU 816€

M81GiNG OtHeB PL8NS.

(JOHN LeNNON)

usteN to YOUB CONSCieNce

- tHe iNNeB voice tHat teLLS YOU

SOMeONe MiGHt Be watCHiNG.

(ANON)

M€DiOCBitY Has ceBtaiN

attBaCtiONS; it's MUCH Less

oeMaNDiNG tHaN success.

(ANON)

NeveB LeND YOUB caB to aNYONe to

WHOM YOU Have GiVeN BiBtH.

(EBMa BOMBeCIG)

27

NeveB BUB BaCIGSioes

WitH a POBCUPiNe.

(GHaNa)

PeBFect BeHaViOUB iS BOBN out OF

COMPLete iNDWFeBeNCe.

(OSCaB WiLDe)

Beauty iS MeBeLY a CBUtCH FOB

PeOPLe WHO caN't cope WitH DBUGS.

(ANON)

secuBitY iS aN iLLUSiON. LiFe iS

eitHeB a oaBiNG aoveNtuBe

OB it iS NOtHiNG at aLL.

(HeLeN KieLLeB)

28

sex is LitGe aiB:

it;'S NOti iMPOBtiaNti

UNLess YOU aBeN'ti

GetitiiNG aNY.

(ANON)

29

SOMetiMeS YOU aBe tHe iNSeCt;

SOMetiMeS YOU aBe tHe

WiNDSCBeeN.

(ANON)

StBateGY iS BetteB

tHaN StBeNGtH.

(NiGeBia)

StBetCH YOUB HaNDS as faB as

tHeY BeacH. aND GBaB aLL

YOU CaN GBaB.

(NiGeBia)

THe eyes aeueve wHat tHeY see;

tHe eaBS WHat PeOPLe teLL tHeM.

(GeBM.aN)

30

soMeuiMes tHe LiGHu

at uHe eNo or tHe

uUNNeL 1oeaLL~ iS aN

ONCOMiNG uJoaiN.

(ANON)

31

SOMetiMeS YOU'Be

tHe PiGeON,

SOMetiMeS YOU'Be

tHe statue.

(ANON)

32

THe JOUBNe¥ Of a tHOUSaND MiLes

staBtS WitH a BBOKieN faN BeLt.

(ANON)

THeBe's aN iNVeBse BeLatiONSHiP

BetweeN HOW GOOD SOMetHiNG iS

fOB ¥DU. aND HOW MUCH fUN it iS.

(CaLViN aND HOBB€S)

THeBe iS ONL¥ ONe PBett¥ CHiLD

iN tHe WOBLD. aND eveB¥

MOtHeB Has it.

(CHiNese)

THBee Ma¥ KieeP a secBet if

two of tHeM aBe oeao.

(B€NJaMiN FBaNIGLiN)

33

TOO MaN¥ COOIGS SPOiL tHe BBOtH.

Let SOMeONe eLse PBePaBe DiNNeB.

(ANON)

TBUe POWeB COMes rBOM a MiX Or

CO-OPeBatiON aND SiLeNCe.

(SOUt:iH Af BiCa)

WHeN tHe DOOB iS CLOSeD. LeaBN to

SLiDe aCBOSS tHe CBaCIG Or tHe SiLL.

(NiGeBia)

WHeN tHe Mouse LaUGHS at tHe cat.

tHeBe iS a HOLe NeaBB¥.

(NiGeBia)

34

zZZ ViBtue iS its OWN

BeWaBD. But it's aLSO

veBY BOBiNG.

(ANON)

35

waNt a tHiNG LONG eNOUGH

8ND ¥OU DON't.

(CHiNese)

weLL DONe iS BetteB

tHaN weLL saiD.

(B€NJaMiN FBaN~LiN)

¥OU caNNOt SHalGe H8NDS

WitH a CLeNCHeD fist.

(GaNDHi)

¥OU Have tHBee CHOiCes iN LiFe: Give

UP. Give iN. OB Give it ¥DUB 8LL!

(ANON)

36

PROFESSIONS

37

A Bao COMPBOMiSe iS BetteB tHaN

a successfuL Law suit. (SPaNiSH)

A LaW¥eB'S fee aND a PBOStitute's

waGes aBe Paio iN aovaNce. (INDiaN)

A LaW¥eB'S OPiNiON iS WOBtH

NOtHiNG UNLess PaiD fOB. (ENGLiSH)

A PeasaNt aetweeN two Law¥eBs

is Li!Ge a fiSH aetweeN two cats. (ANON)

38

DiPLOM8C¥ iS tHe a1ot Of S8¥iNG

"Nice DOGGie". WHiLSt LOOIGiNG

fOJo a BiGGeJo StiCIG.

(ANON)

DOCtOJoS CLeaN tHe BOD¥.

MiNiSteJos tHe CONSCieNce. 8ND

L8W¥eJos tHe PUJoSe.

(Ge~MaN)

He tHat Loves tHe L8W WiLL

Get HiS fiLL Of it.

(SCOttiSH)

39

A DiPLOMat iS SOMeONe WHO

caN teLL YOU to GO to

HeLL aND Have YOU

actuaLLY LOOKiiNG

Fo1owa1oo to tHe tJoiP.

(ANON)

40

It iS BetteJo to eNteJo tHe MOUtH Or

a tiGeJo tHaN a COUJot Or Law.

(CHiNese)

It iS BetteJo to exist UNKiNOWN to

tHe Law aND LaW¥eJos.

(I Bi SH)

LaW¥eJos aND PaiNteJos caN SOON

CHaNGe BLaCKi to WHite.

(DaNiSH)

LaW¥eJos aND SOLDieJos aloe tHe

oevn..:s PLa¥Mates.

(G€16MaN)

41

x POLiuiCiaNS HBe LiJGe

DiaPe1os aND Neeo to

Be CHaNGeD fOJo

uHe saMe 1oeasoN.

(ANON)

42

New Laws aloe fOLLOWeD

BY New tBiCIGS.

(Ge:BMaN)

'ViBtue iS iN tHe MiDDLe:

saiD tHe DeViL. as He sat DOWN

aetweeN two LawYeBs.

(DaNiSH)

WHeN GOD waNteD to PUNiSH MaN He

iNVeNteD LaWYeBS.

(16USSiaN)

43

WORK

45

A oes!G WitHOUt PaPeBWOBIG iS a

SiGN OF ONe BOBN to DeLeGate.

(ANON)

A tiDY oes!G iS tHe SiGN OF a

DiStUBBeD MiND.

(ANON)

H8BD WOBIG NeveB HUBt aNYONe.

But tHeN WHY BiSIG it?

(ANON)

Ma!Ge SU16e YOU aBe NOt

iBBePLaceaBLe: w YOU caN't Be

BePLaceo. YOU CaN't Be PBOMOteo.

(ANON)

46

MULti-taSIGiNG: tHe H16t

OF SCBeWiNG UP

eveBYtHiNG aLL

at ONCe.

(ANON)

47

NOtHiNG iS so SiMPLe tHat it

CaNNOt Be SCJoeWeD UP.

(ANON)

OPPOBtUNit¥ iS MiSSeD B¥ MOSt

PeOPLe Because it is DBesseD iN

oveBaLLS 8ND LOOIGS LilGe WOBIG.

(THOMas EDiSON)

THeBe aBe two IGiNDS Or

PeOPLe iN Lire: PeOPLe WHO LilGe

tHeiB JOBS 8ND PeOPLe WHO DON't

WOBIG HeBe 8N¥ MOJoe.

(ANON)

48

WHeN YOU OWN YOUB OWN

BUSiNess, YOU ONLY Have

to WOBIG HaLF a DaY.

YOU caN DO aNYuHiNG YOU

waNt witH tHe otHeB

uWeLve HOUBS.

(ANON)

49

DRINK

SI

A C8SK'i Or WiNe WiLL WOJoK'i

MOJoe Milo8CLes tHaN a

CHUJoCH rULL Or saiNtS.

{ltiauaN)

A DJoiNK'i PJoeCeDes a StOJo¥.

{I Bi SH)

A DJciUNK'i M8N'S

WOJoDS a1oe a SOBeJo

M8N'S tHOUGHtS.

{ANON)

ALW8¥S DO SOBeJo WHat ¥OU saiD

¥0U'D DO DJoUNK'i. THat WiLL teaCH

¥OU to K'ieep ¥0Ulo MOUtH SHUt.

{EBNeSti HeMMiNGWaY)

52

0 seauuYiSiN

uHe eye

OF uHe

BeeB HOLDeB.

(ANON)

53

BeeB iS PBOOf tHat

GOD Loves us aND waNtS

us to Be H8PP¥.

(B€NJaMiN FBaN~LiN)

FOOD WitHOUt WiNe

is LiKie a Da¥

WitHOUt SUNSHiNe.

c1uauaN)

GOOD as DBiNKi iS,

it eNDS iN tHiBSt.

(I Bi SH)

He WHO DBiNKiS ON

CBeDit WiLL Get

DBUNKi twice.

(S€BBiaN)

54

Give a MaN a fiSH aND

He Will eat fOB a oaY.

TeaCH HiM HOW to fiSH,

aND He Will Sit aeout iN

a Boat aND GUZZle

BeeB all DaY.

(ANON)

SS

If' 8LCOHOL iS a CBUtCH, tHeN

WHiSIC'.Je¥ iS tHe WHeeLCH8iB.

(ANON)

It iS sweet to DBiNIC'.J BUt

BitteB to P8¥ fUB.

(I Bi SH)

ONe DBiNIC'.J iS eNOUGH, two

DBiNIC'.JS aBe too M8N¥. tHBee

DBiNIC'.JS aBe NOt eNOUGH.

(POBuuGuese)

THe WiNe is sweet

BUt tHe P8¥MeNt SOUB.

(I Bi SH)

56

THe CHUBCH iS CLose BUt tHe

B08D iS iC¥; tHe Balo iS f'aB

But l'LL W8LI(; ca1oef'ULL¥.

(16USSiaN)

THe DBUNIGeN MaN'S

JO¥ iS USU8LL¥ tHe

SOBeB M8N'S BeGBet.

(DaNiSH)

THe DBUNIGeN MOUtH

Lets SUP tHe

Hea1ot·s sec1oets.

(GeBMaN)

57

THe fiBSti DBiNJG WitiH

wateB, OHe seCOND

WiuHOUO wateB,

OHe OHiBD LiJGe wateB.

(SP8NiSH)

58

THel6e's NO H816M

iN tHe wiNe - it's tHe

01ouN1GeNNess tHat

iS to BLaMe.

(BUSSi8N)

59

THeBe al\3e M016e

OLD DBUNIC'.J8BDS tHaN

tHeBe al\3e OLD DOCtOBS.

(FBeNCH)

WHeN tHe DBiNIC'.J

Goes iN. tHe

secBets coMe out.

(ANON)

WHeN tHe DBiNIC'.J

iS iNSiDe.

tHe seNse

is outsiDe.

(l~iSH)

60

GETTING OLD

61

AGe iS a HiGH PBiCe to pay fOB

MatuBit¥.

(ANON)

AGe iS Just MiND oveB MatteB: if

YOU DON't MiND, it ooesN't MatteB.

(ANON)

A WOLf MiGHt Lose HiS teetH But

NOt HiS CHaBacteB.

(ANON)

BeiNG YOUNG iS a fauLt tHat

DiMiNiSHeS oaiL¥.

(SW€DiSH)

62

Be Nice to YOUB

CHiLDBeN; tHeY'LL Be

CHOOSiNG tHe OLD

f'OLIGS' HOMe.

(ANON)

63

BY tiHe tiiMe YOU aJoe OLD

eNOUGH to 8PPBeCiate

YOUB PaBeNtS YOU Will

Have CHiLDBeN Of YOUB

OWN WHO tatGe YOU

fOB GB8NtieD.

(ANON)

64

If tHe YOUNG ONLY IGNeW ...

If tHe OLD ONLY COULD.

(FBeNCH)

INSiDe eve1oy OLDeJo PeJoSON iS a

YOUNGeJo PeJoSON ... WONDeJoiNG WHat

tHe HeLL HaPPeNeD.

(COBa HaBveY ABM.StBONG)

THe DiffeJoeNce aetweeN aDuLts

aND CHiLDJoeN iS tHat aDULtS DON't

as!G QUeStiONS.

(AM.eBiCaN)

THe MaN WHO views tHe WOJoLD at

so tHe saMe as He DiD at 20 Has

wasteD 30 yea1os of His Life.

(MUHaM.M.aD AU)

65

It's Neve1o too Late to

Lea2N. But tHeN if you've

MaDe it tHiS fal6 ...

WHY BOtHel6?

(ANON}

66

THe sec1oet Or iMMOBtaLit¥ iS

LiViNG a Lire WOBtH BeMeMBeBiNG.

(ANON)

we DO Not stop PLa¥iNG Because

we GBOW OLD, we GBOW OLD

Because we stop PLa¥iNG!

(B€NJaMiN FBaNIGLiN)

¥OUtH wastes awa¥. But

iMMatUBit¥ OrteN

Lasts a LiretiMe.

(ANON)

67

DEATH

69

neauHis

HeBeDiu8BY.

(ANON)

70

oeatH 8LW8¥S

COMeS too eaBL¥

OB too Late.

(ENGLiSH)

oeatH is Just

NatuBe teLLiNG ¥OU

to SLOW DOWN.

(ANON)

w ¥OU waNt to Die ¥DUNG. Ma!Ge

¥DUB DOCtOB ¥DUB HeiB.

(BOM.aNiaN)

It iS BetteB to Die LiViNG

tHaN to Live D¥iNG.

(ANON)

71

WISE NEN

73

A B8D excuse iS BetteB tHaN NONe.

(SPaNiSH)

A BeuevaBLe ue is BetteB

tHaN a StUPiD fact.

c1taliaN)

A CLOSeD MOUtH catcHeS NO fUes.

c1tauaN)

AfteB 8LL iS 58iD 8ND DONe. MOBe iS

58iD tHaN DONe.

(ANON)

74

A CLOSeD MOUtH

GatHeBS NO foot.

(CHiNeSe)

75

ANGeB iS tHe outCOMe

OF tHe tONGUe WOBIGiNG

FasteB tHaN tHe BBaiN.

(ANON)

BeFOBe YOU CBitiCiZe SOMeONe.

waLIG a MiLe iN tHeiB SHOes.

(THeN WHeN YOU DO CBitiCiZe tHeM.

YOU'Be a MiLe away aND YOU

Have tHeiB SHOeS.)

(ANON)

GOOD aDViCe iS OFteN aNNOYiNG.

BaD aDvice NeveB.

(FBeNCH)

He WHO GOSSiPS to YOU WiLL

GOSSiP aBOUt YOU.

(TUB~iSH)

76

It iS BetteB to CONCeaL

ONe's KiNOWLeDGe tHaN to

BeveaL ONe's iGNOBaNCe.

(SPaNiSH)

THe DiffeBeNCe aetweeN

GeNiUS aND StUPiDit¥ iS tHat

GeNiUS Has its LiMitS.

(ANON)

WHO KiNOWS MOSt SPeaKiS Least.

(SPaNiSH)

WiSDOM SHOULD NOt Be LiKie MONe¥.

tieD UP aND HiDDeN.

(GHaNa)

77

WHeN YOU OPeN a 00016,

DON't f016Get to CLOSe it.

Tl6eat YOU16 MOUtH

aCCOl6DiNGLY.

(JeWiSH}

78

THe tONGUe weiGHS

reeLativeLY NOtHiNG,

But so Few PeOPLe

caN HOLD it.

(ANON)

79

you Have two ea~s

aND ONe MOUtH.

1t is Best to use

tHeM iN tHat

PT60POT6tiON.

(ANON)

80

FOOLS

81

ABtifiCiaL iNteLLiGeNCe

iS NO MatCH f'OB

NatuBaL StUPiDitY.

(ANON)

82

CBaf't¥ 8DViCe iS Of'teN

Got f'BOM a f'OOL.

{I Bi SH)

E8CH f'OOL iS Dif'f'eBeNt.

(GeBMaN)

EVeB¥ ass Loves to

HeaB HiMSeLf' BB8Y.

{ANON)

EVeB¥BOD¥ iS

iGNOB8Nt. ONL¥ ON

Dif'f'eBeNt SUBJects.

{WiLL BOGeBS)

83

He WHO LaUGHS

Last; LaUGHS LONGeSt:i.

AND Has PJoOBaBLY

ONLY JUSt:i Got; t:iHe JOIGe.

(ANON}

84

w tHeleJe Wel6e NO

FOOLS. tHel6e WOULD

Be NO Wise MeN.

(Ge~MaN)

¥0UJ6 OWN

StUPiD actiONS

SHOULD NOt Be

CONFUSeD WitH Fate.

(ANON)

85

Neve2 UNOeT6eStiMate

tHe POWeT6 OF

StUPiD PeOPLe

iN BiG GT60UPS.

(ANON)

86

BRAYE RY &

COWARDICE

87

8 A cowaBD WiLL aLWa¥S

tHiNIC'.J WitH HiS LeGS.

(ANON)

AN OLD Bat iS a BBave Bat.

(FBeNCH)

1t is eas¥ to Be BBave

fBOM a DiStaNCe.

(Native AM.eBicaN)

It's NOt tHe Size Of tHe DOG iN tHe

fiGHt tHat MatteBs, it's tHe size of

tHe fiGHt iN tHe DOG!

(ANON)

88

IT'S ALL IN THE NIND

89

A CLOSeD MiND

iS LiKie a CLOSeD BOOK,:

Just a BLOCK, OF WOOD.

(CHiNese)

GJoeat SPiJoitS

Have 8LW8¥S

eNCOUNteJoeD

ViOLeNt OPPOSitiON

FloOM MeDiOCJoe

MiNDS.

(ALBeBu EiNSueiN)

90

Gl6eat MiNDS

Discuss iDeas.

AVel6aGe MiNDS

Discuss eveNts.

SM8LL MiNDS

Discuss PeOPLe.

(ANON)

91

MiNDS aBe LilGe

PaBaCHUtieS: tiHeY ONLY

WOBIG WHeN OPeN.

(ANON)

92

TOMORROW

93

MaNaNa iS OfteN tHe

Busiest oay of tHe wee!G.

(SPaNiSH)

NeveB Put Off tiLL

tOMOBBOW WHat MaY Be DONe

tooa¥. DON't YOU IGNOW tHat

tOMOBBOW NeveB COMeS?

(ANON)

'ONe Of tHese D8YS' MeaNS

'NoNe of tHese oays·.

(ENGLiSH)

'PBOCBastiNatiON iS tHe

tHief Of tiMe.

(ANON)

94

1 DON't PUt Off till

uOMOBBOW WHat COULD

Be DONe toDaY.

WHY NOt Give YOUBSeLf

aNotHeB weeKi?

(ANON)

95

1 THe Best tHiNG aeout

tHe Futuroe is tHat

it COMeS ONLY

oNe oay at a tiMe.

(ABBaHaM LiNCOLN}

96

PATIENCE

97

ALL tHiNGS COMe to tHOSe

WHO wait ... But tHe Best tHiNGS

WiLL Be ta!GeN BY tHOSe WHO

Get tHeBe flBSt.

(ANON)

THiNGS MaY COMe to tHOSe WHO

wait, BUt ONLY tHe tHiNGS Left BY

tHOSe WHO HUStLe.

(ABBaHaM LiNCOLN)

98

' ' ' '

PESSINISN

99

A PeSSiMiSt iS NeveB DiS9PPOiNteD.

(ANON)

He tHat Lives ON HOPe

WiLL Die faStiNG.

(NOBtH AM.eBiCaN)

THe NaiL tHat StiCIGS UP iS SUBe to

Be H9MMeBeD DOWN.

(JaPaNese)

THe PeSSiMiSt sees

DiffiCULt¥ iN eveB¥

OPPOBtUNit¥. THe OPtiMiSt

sees OPPOBtUNit¥ iN

eveB¥ DiffiCULt¥.

(WiNStON CHUBCHiLL)

100

' ' ' ' THel6e's NO POiNt

iN talGiNG Lire sel6iOUSLY;

NO-oNe Gets out auve.

(ANON}

IOI

THe Boao to success is aLways

UNDeB CONStBUCtiON.

(ABNOLD PaLM.eB)

THeBe iS NO seNse

iN BeiNG PeSSiMiStiC.

It WOULDN't WOBK'i 8NYW8¥.

(ANON)

YOU caNNOt UNSCBaMBLe eGGS.

(NOBtH AM.eBiCaN)

YOU'LL NeveB K'iNOW tHe WOBtH OF

tHe wateB tiLL tHe weLL Goes DB¥.

(SCOttiSH)

. ' ••

102

TRUTH &

LIES

103

A Lie tBaveLS BOUND tHe

WOBLD WHiLe tBUtH iS StiLL

PUttiNG ON HeB BOOtS.

(FBeNCH)

A LittLe tBUtH WiLL HeLP

tHe Lie GO DOWN.

c1taliaN)

cBaftiNess Must Have

CLOtHeS But tBUtH LilG'eS

to GO NalG'eD.

(ENGLiSH)

104

HiStiOEY iS a catiaLOGUe

Of' Lies COMPiLeD

BY tiHOSe iN CH8EGe.

(ANON)

105

If' ¥OU BeLieve eveB¥tHiNG ¥OU

Beao. BetteB Not Beao.

(JaPaNese)

ues NeveB settLe tHe Pa¥MeNt.

(CJcmatiaN)

ONCe iN a WHiLe ¥OU WiLL StUMBLe

UPON tHe tBUtH But MOSt Of us

MaNaGe to PiCIG OUBSeLves UP

8ND HUBB¥ 8LONG as if NOtHiNG

HaD H8PPeNeD.

(WiNStON CHUBCHiLL)

ONe Lie BUiNS a tHOUS8ND tBUtHS.

(SOUtH Af Bi Ca)

106

A BUMOUB Goes

iN ONe eaB aND

out MaNY MOUtHS.

(CHiNeSe)

107

SPealG tHe tBUtH.

But tHeN Leave iMMeDiateLY.

(SLoveNia)

'THe¥ 69¥ so: iS H9LF a Lie.

c1uauaN)

TBUtH 9ND OiL WiLL 9LW9¥S Ma!Ge

tHeiB W9¥ to tHe SUBFace.

(SPaNiSH)

108

NO NEY

109

A PiG BOUGHt

ON CBeDit

iS fOBeVeB

GBUNtiNG.

(SPaNiSH)

DON't OffeB Me

aovice:

Give Me MONe¥.

(SPaNiSH)

110

w YOU tHiNIG NO-ONe caBes

wHetHeB you'Be DeaD OB auve.

tBY MiSSiNG a COUPLe Of

MOBtGaGe P9YMeNtS.

(ANON)

If BiCH PeOPLe COULD HiBe

OtHeB PeOPLe to Die fOB tHeM.

POOB PeOPLe WOULD Ma!Ge a

WONDeBfUL LiViNG.

(YiDDiSH)

111

If YOU LeND SOMeONe

c10 aND NeveB see tHeM

aGaiN, iu was PBOBaBLY

WOBuH iu.

(ANON)

112

LeND ¥0Ulo MONe¥ 8ND

Lose ¥ou1o f'JoieND.

(ENGLiSH)

MONe¥ 8ND tHe DeViL DO NOt 1oest.

(SeBBiaN)

Jo8tHeJo f'8iL

WitH HONOUJo tH8N

succeeo B¥ r1oauo.

(SOPHOCL€S)

TO Be JoiCH iS NOt

eve1o¥tHiNG. BUt it

ce1otaiNL¥ HeLPS.

(YiDDiSH)

113

THe QUiCkJest WHY

to DOUBLe ¥DUB MONe¥

iS to fOLD it iN H9Lf

9ND PUt it B9CkJ iN

¥DUB POCkJet.

(ANON)

£££££££££ ¥DUNG G9MBLeBs.

OLD BeGG9BS.

(Ge~M.aN)

114

HAPPINESS

115

HaPPiNess iS aLL aBOUti

LilGiNG WHati YOU DO aND

DOiNG WHati YOU LilGe.

(ANON)

116

H8PPiNess iS NOt H8ViNG WHat ¥OU

waNt. But waNtiNG WHat ¥OU Have.

(ANON)

Ta!Ge BiSIGS: w ¥DU WiN. ¥OU

WiLL Be H8PP¥; if ¥OU DON•t

¥DU WiLL Be Wise.

(ANON)

THe Less ¥OU UNDeBstaND. tHe

H8PPieB ¥OU WiLL Be.

(ANON)

¥DU caN tUBN DOLL8BS iNtO ceNtS.

OB seNse iNtO DOLL8BS. But NOt

DOLL8BS iNtO seNse.

(AMe~iCaN)

117

FRIENDS &

FOES

119

BetteB a fBieNDL¥ BefusaL tHaN

aN UNWiLLiNG accePtaNce.

(GeBM.aN)

BOtH ¥0Ul6 fBieND aND ¥0Ul6 eNeM¥

tHiNIG ¥OU WiLL NeveB Die.

(I Bi SH)

FLatteB¥ Ma!GeS f BieNDS;

tBUtH eNeMies.

(SPaNiSH)

FeeD ¥0Ul6 HOBSe as ¥OU WOULD a

fBieND But MOUNt HiM as aN eNeM¥.

(CBOatiaN)

120

FBieNOS aBe LilGe fiDDLe

StBiNGS; tHeY MUSt Not Be

scBeweo too tiGHt.

(ENGLiSH)

121

GOOD feNces MaiGe

GOOD NeiGHBOUJoS

(tHe¥ iGeeP tHe soDs out!)

(ANON)

A GUiLt¥ CONSCieNCe

iS a LiVeL¥ eNeM¥.

(INDiaN)

Life WitH NO fJoieNDS iS Li!Ge

DeatH WitH NO WitNesses.

(SPaNiSH)

Love ¥0Ulo NeiGHBOUJoS. But DON't

PULL DOWN tHe feNCe.

(CHiNeSe)

122

Love YOUlo eNeMieS;

it's Gua1oaNteeo to

Pi SS uHeM Off!

(ANON)

123

WHeN YOUB eNeMY f8LLS,

DON't BeJOiCe. BUt DON't

PiCK, HiM UP eitHeB.

(¥iDDiSH)

124

••• ' . "' .,,.·. l • -.: '

yes, f'016GiVe YOUT6

eNeMies WHeNeve2

you caN, But aLways

16eMeMBe16 tHei16 NaMeS.

(ANON)

125

WOMEN

127

A Bao L8BOUB. aND

a oauGHteB afteB aLL.

(SPaNiSH)

A BLiND MaN'S Wife

Neeos NO PaiNt.

(SPaNiSH)

A House WitHOUt a WOMaN iS tHe

oeviL'S OWN LODGiNG.

(INDiaN)

AS tHe Best WiNe Ma!GeS tHe

SHaBPest ViNeGaB. so caN tHe

tBuest LOVeB tUBN iNtO tHe

WOBSt eNeM¥.

(ANON)

128

A BeautifUL WOMaN

BeLONGS to eveJoYONe

But aN UGLY WOMaN

iS 8LL YOU'J65.

(INDiaN)

129

CHOOSe NeitHeB a WOMaN NOB

LiNeN B¥ caNDLeLiGHt.

c1taliaN)

FOBtuNe iS Li!Ge a WOM8N:

If ¥OU NeGLeCt HeB tOD8¥. DO NOt

expect to BeGaiN HeB tOMOBBOW.

(FBeNCH)

THeBe aBe two tHeOBies

aaout aBGUiNG WitH WOMeN.

NeitHeB WOBIGS.

(ANON)

AGe iS tHe ONL¥ tOPiC WOMeN

WiLL 1GeeP Quiet aaout.

(GeBM.aN)

130

NEN

131

A MaN iS a PeBSON WHO taKieS out

tHe BUBBiSH, tHeN MaKieS out He

Has Just CLeaNeo tHe House.

(ANON)

BeHiND eve1o¥ successruL

MaN tHe1oe·s a GBeat ...

N8G, N8G, N8G.

(ANON)

132

MARRIAGE

133

A Deaf' HUSBaND aND a BLiND Wire

a1oe tHe PeBFect HaPP¥ COUPLe.

(ANON)

A JeaLOUS LOVeB WiLL BeCOMe aN

iNDif'f'eBeNt spouse.

(M€XiCaN)

A POOB Beaut¥ flNDS MOBe LOVeBS

tHaN HUSBaNDS.

(ENGLiSH)

134

A GOOD HUSBaND iS

HeaLtHY aND aBSeNt.

(JaPaNese)

135

A Wife iS fBiGHteNeD Of HeB fiBSt

HUSB8ND. A HUSB8ND iS fBiGHteNeD

Of HiS seCOND Wife.

(S€BBiaN)

A Wife's aovice iS NOt WOBtH MUCH.

BUt woe to tHe HUSB8ND WHO

Befuses to taKie it.

(W€LSH)

He WHO M816Bies fOB

MONe¥ WiLL eaBN it.

(AM€BiCaN)

If ¥OU waNt to Be

CBitiCizeo. Get M816BieD.

(I Bi SH)

136

M8Joloi8Ge iS LiKie a GJoOUND Nut.

YOU MUSt CJo8CKi it to

see WHat'S iNSiDe.

(GHaNa)

Neve1o MaKie a

PJoettY WOM8N

YOUJo Wife.

(JaMaicaN)

GJoief fOJo a HUSB8ND

iS LiKie a P8iN iN tHe eLBOW

- SH8JoP 8ND SHOJot.

(ENGLiSH)

137

THe f'iBSti MaBBiaGe

iS a DiSH Of' HONeY,

tiHe seCOND a Glass Of' WiNe,

tiHe tiHiBD a CUP Of' POiSON.

(SeBBiaN)

138

NeveB MaBBY f'OB

MONeY; YOU Will

BOBBOW it CHeaPeB.

(SCOuuiSH)

139

GOD &THE DEVIL

141

Be NeitHeB iNtiMate

NOB DiStaNt WitH

tHe CLeBG¥.

(I Bi SH)

BetteB tHe DeViL

YOU IGNOW tHaN

tHe DeViL YOU DON't.

(ENGLiSH)

GOD Gives tHe Nuts.

BUt He DOeSN't

CBaCIG tHeM.

(GeBMaN)

142

GOD iS BiGGeJo

tHaN ¥0Ulo

PloOBLeMS.

(MeXiCaN)

GOD SUPPLies

tHe MiLIG

But NOt tHe JUG.

(Ge~MaN)

143

He WHO SUPS WitH

tHe oeviL Has Neeo

Of' a LONG SPOON.

(ENG Li SH)

144

If GOD DiDN't

fOBGiVe SiNNeBs.

HeaveN WOULD

Be eMPt¥.

(Ge~MaN)

If GOD uveD ON

eaBtH. PeOPLe WOULD

BBealG HiS WiNDOWS.

(JeWiSH)

If tHe PatieNt Dies.

tHe DOCtOB Has IG'iLLeD HiM;

if He Gets weLL. tHe

saiNts Have saveD HiM.

c1uauaN)

145

THe oevn~s

Boots

ooN't c1oea1G. (SCOttiSH)

146

THe oeviL

Neve16 G168NtS

LONG Leases.

(IBiSH)

147

we aBe aLL eQuaL iN

tHe e¥eS Of GOD 9ND

BUS DBiVeBS.

(Ge~M.aN)

148

P.C. PROVERBS

149

A JOUJ6NeY Of a

tHOUS9ND Sites BeGiNS

WitH Just ONe CLiCIG.

DON•t BYte Off

MOJ6e tHaN YOU

caN view.

THe eMaiL Of

tHe species is fal\3

oeaouel\3 tHaN

tHe M9iL.

150

Fax iS StBaNGeB

tHaN fiCtiON.

IN Gates we tBUSt.

¥OU CaN't teaCH a

New Mouse

OLD CLiCIGS.

THe Message is

iN tHe MODeM.

151

THe GeeiG

SH9LL iNHeBit

tHe ea1otH.

TOO M9N¥

CLiCIGS SPOiL

tHe MessaGe.

use1os aND tHeiB

LeiSUBe tiMe

aloe SOON PaBteo.

152

vi~tuaL ~eauty is

its OWN ~ewa~o.

WHat BOOtS UP

MUSt COMe DOWN.

WiNDOWS WiLL

Neve~ cease.

153

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154