The Game Is Trolling Me

Wynter Wonderland: A WYDCChapter One

Wynn: “I see… a whole lot of nothing.”

Well, give us some time, Wynn. Rome wasn’t built in a day.

Wynn: “This isn’t Rome. This is a tiny town out in the middle of nowhere.”

Oh, hush.

Well, let’s not waste any more time, I guess. Everyone, meet Wynter White… again. Wynn here was the tenth generation heiress in my White Legacy, which I completed a few days ago. And now she’s back, acting as the founder for our next adventure: a Who’s Your Daddy? Challenge. Since, you know, she rolled Family and all. You can find the rules here: http://www.boolprop.net/viewtopic.php?f=52&t=355

Wynn: “It’s not ‘White’ anymore. It’s Kinsey.”

Care to tell us anything about that little name change?

Wynn: “Well, I might have been disowned…”

Except you weren’t.

Wynn: “And I might be in the witness protection program…”

Except you’re not.

Wynn: “Alright, alright, so I decided that if I was going to have a fresh start, I should have a fresh name. And so, I’m now Wynn Kinsey. How’s that, Author?”

Thank you, Wynn. Now… about your house…

Wynn: “Yeah, I was wondering about that. What am I doing here, when my house is clearly all the way over there? Is this just some sort of introduction device thing?”

Um… haha, this is awkward… uh… well, that’s my house. You’re on your land already.

Wynn: “…”

Wynn: “…well, I guess that’s okay. I mean, I am the heiress to well over a million simoleons; I’ll just build myself a nice little mansion and get started on those twenty-six kids I want, huh?”

Um… haha… about that…

Wynn: “I don’t get to keep my money, do I?”

You are a challenge founder, sweetheart.

Wynn: “Oh…”

Aw, it’s not all bad. Sure you don’t have your money, your skills, or your relationships. But you have a computer from Mr. Humble, and you still have me!

Wynn: “Joy…”

Hey look, garden club representative! He’s a man!

Wynn: “Sweet! Hi there! You’re cute! What’s your name?”

Sidney: “Um… Sidney?”

Wynn: “HI!!”

Okay, while she’s distracted…

Wynn: “A house? What are you talking about? This is pretty obviously an empty lot we’re standing on…”

Sidney: “Would I lie to you? I blinked, and suddenly there was a house!”

Wynn: “That’s absurd! Houses don’t just blink into existence!”

This one isn’t terribly used to being a challenge founder yet. Don’t worry, we’ll get her there.

Wynn: “Whoa, hey! You’re right! Where did this house come from?”

You want to live here, right Wynn?

Wynn: “You bet I do!”

Well, then. Sell that computer behind you, and then grab a shovel. Maybe you can convince Sidney here to help you.

Sidney: “Unlikely.”

Wynn: “I did not sign up for this. I said I wanted kids, not manual labor! Having kids has nothing to do with digging in the dirt!”

You want a crib, right? How about a bed? A toilet? Keep digging.

Sidney: “Ooh, butterflies!”

SimMe: “Dig! Dig! Dig, my slave! Dig! BWAHAHAHA!”

Wynn: “Uh, who are you?”

SimMe: “Um… hi there, we’re the friendly welcome wagon. Welcome to Haven-in-the-Valley?”

SimMe: “I brought a couple of men for you to meet, by the way.”

Wynn: “SWEET!”

Wynn: “Whoa, HEY! That’s MY paper! I need that! I don’t have a job yet!!”

SPIDER JERUSALAM SIGHTING!! I’ve thrown a few of my favorite characters from other challenges (and some of my own characters from the White Legacy) into the townie pool, and Spider here from DocNerd’s Vetinari Dualegacy is the first of them to show up. Too bad he didn’t give Wynn a chance to greet him…

Wynn: “This… is a horrible fridge.”

We got it used.

Wynn: “…I am really starting to feel homesick now…”

Wynn: “So… where’s my table?”

It’ll go in that breakfast nook behind you. Eventually.

Wynn: “Okay… how about a couch? A stool?”

No, and no. You were lucky to be able to afford that horrible used fridge. It’s all part of the experience.

Wynn: *sigh*

Wynn: “Sink for the dishes?”

Wynn, meet the garbage can.

Wynn: “Is it too late to go back on that contract I signed?”

Yep. I’ve got it in writing. You’re here to stay.

Wynn: “I have some excellent lawyers, you know.”

Just try and sue me. I dare you.

Wolf: {Hi there. You look tasty.}

Sidney: “…help…?”

SimMe: “Oh, don’t worry. He’s not going to eat you. Probably.”

Since I’ve got you here, I think it’s about time I mentioned that Haven-in-the-Valley, Wynn’s new neighborhood, had a “delete all characters” run on it. I then forced the game to create new townies and NPCs, so we’ll be seeing all new townies running around… with my geneticized custom eyes on them. So if you see any purple eyes… that’s why.

Wynn: “Thanks for holding him still for me, Welcome Wagon Lady!”

SimMe: “My pleasure. It’s been a long time since I had a chance to summon a wolf. Ehehehe.”

Sidney: “She’s not a friend of yours, is she?”

Wynn: “Nope!”

SimMe: “…of course, I could always find more excuses to summon packs of wolves…”

Wynn: “Whaddayou mean, ‘make the bed’? I have zero neat points. The slob was my grandfather. I don’t make beds. That’s why I keep a butler.”

I’m over here, Wynn. And you don’t have a butler, remember?

Wynn: “…oh, yeah…”

Now go call Sidney back up. We didn’t get as far as I would’ve liked with him yesterday.

While we’re waiting for him to show up, looks like Spider hasn’t stolen the newspaper yet. Any ideas on what you want to do for a living, Wynn?

Wynn: “Oh, I don’t really care. My LTW is to graduate three kids from college; any job will do to tide me over till then.”

*sigh*

Wynn: “What?”

I was only going to play through college once, and only then to introduce you to a slew of potential fathers. You want me to do it for three kids?

Wynn: “Ah, here we go. An opening in the intelligence career.”

I hate college. I did it for eight generations of your ancestors. I wasn’t counting on doing it for your kids, too.

Wynn: “I could totally pull off being a spy.”

Wynn: “Hey-hey, Sidney!”

Sidney: “Wynn! There’s… no wolves around today, right?”

Sidney: “What’s my sign? Oh, I’m an Aries.”

Good to know. Marking that down…

And so the flirts begin…

Unfortunately, Wynn and Sidney have negative bolts, which makes this relationship like dragging a bag of bricks uphill through the mud with your teeth.

Wynn: “And also it’s raining and miserable.”

That too.

As it is, we might need to just befriend him and let the relationship slowly climb on its own for a little bit. But that’s actually okay, honestly, since Wynn is really in no financial situation to have twenty-six babies.

I would give up entirely on using Sidney, but frankly, I need him. There’s a point bonus for having children by all the male members of the garden club, and I live for points.

Oh, hey! Look who decided to drop by! It’s Seraphine from my old legacy!

Seraphine: “Hey, about that, Author. Where’d you go? Suddenly you stopped showing up.”

Uh… um… *guilty shrug*

Wynn: “Hey, how are ya, Seraphine?”

Seraphine: “Not bad. You?”

Wynn: “A little homesick, and I’m having some trouble wooing the men, but you know, not bad. How’s Baltic?”

Seraphine: “Not bad.”

Yeah, these two were never really close. Friendly, sure. But not best friends by any means.

And there’s Ella, too!

Ella: “Wow. Founding a challenge looks like hard work. Especially for a spoiled legacy heiress.”

Seraphine: “Ew, she stinks.”

Wynn: “Both of you shut up.”

Ella: “Touchy.”

So, Wynn needed a logic skill point for her first promotion, and we are too poor to buy a chess table or a telescope. Now, I also happen to know that there are chess tables at the only community lot in town, and I have a community lot skilling mod.

And of course, Miss Outgoing here decided to go in her pajamas.

Hey, look. Vis, Seraphine, and Arie from my legacy and Anne from Boolprop are having a party.

This, by the way, is the town square. I custom built it specifically for this neighborhood. I intend to eventually surround it with community lots, and it’ll look even cooler. Hopefully. It might just keep looking out of place. Either way.

Wynn: “Hi there, Leonard. Nice to meetcha. I hear you’re one of only two male simselves roaming around here.”

Leonard: “Um… bye.”

Wow, everybody’s stopping by to gawk at the new founder. This here is Mia (radiochocolate at Boolprop).

Mia: “Hey, I’m a teenager!”

Yeah, I decided to leave you and Gabie as teens this time around. Figured, you know, might as well.

Wynn: “Why do I have teenage walkbys when there are no teenagers on the lot? …eh, oh well.”

Sidney Hunter: round three.

*snicker snort* I’m the friend Sidney wanted to bring along. When I said “yes,” I was hoping for a male townie. Preferably a male townie I borrowed from someone else. Oh, well.

This is going much better. …wait, how do you suddenly have two bolts!?

Wynn: “It’s my natural magnetism. He couldn’t stay away.”

Or maybe the crush hearts had something to do with it.

Sidney: “Ah… that feels gre~ea~eat…”

A few sim hours and a date later, and we’ve moved on to making out in the dark, which of course leads to…

…sharing cereal.

Wynn: “Oh… I think that cereal was bad…”

Yup. I’m sure it was. You’re probably sick from the milk. It was probably sour. I’m sure that totally explains your sudden nausea.

Wynn: “Not funny Author…”

First day of work! Feeling any better? Excited? Nervous?

Wynn: “Well, you know, I did just dig up a treasure chest, so I’m living a little more comfortably already… I hardly even need this job anymore…”

Trust me. You need the money. Go to work.

Wynn: “Fine…”

Hi there, Thai! (Thaitanic at Boolprop) *waves*

Thai: “Hellooo there! I hear there’s a WYDC founder living here…? And that you don’t have the simself point yet…?”

Sorry, she’s at work.

Thai: “Darn…”

Come back later, okay? I’m sure Wynn would love you.

Literally twenty minutes after Thai’s visit (of course), Wynn comes home with a promotion.

Wynn: “And an extra $185 from a chance card!”

Good first day, then?

Wynn: “The best!!”

Wynn: “Hey, Author! Guess what?”

Santa Claus is alive?

Wynn: “No! I’m pregnant!”

You mean… Santa Claus isn’t alive?

Wynn: “Oh, shush.”

What… did you do to your hair.

Wynn: “Braided it.”

Unbraid it. Immediately.

Wynn: “Fine…”

This wasn’t exactly how I pictured this little garden space looking, I must admit.

Wolf: {You’re welcome!}

There’s Pop #2! Just one day left to go, and we’ve got our first little nooboo!

Wynn: “Hey, two rings!”

Yeah, I’m starting to wonder if there’s just always two rings and I’ve never noticed.

Wynn: “What… is this?”

Elixir of life. Drink it.

Wynn: “Elixir of life? You know, family lore says this stuff killed one of my many-times-great-uncles.”

You want twenty-six kids, don’t you? Drink it.

Wynn: “This won’t hurt the baby, will it?”

Drink it already.

Wynn: “Wow, this elixir of life thingamabob is great!”

Good, because you’re going to be living on the stuff. I don’t usually use elixir, so this is going to be an interesting play style.

Wynn: “I feel so ALIVE!!”

Right about here, by the way, my game crashed and I lost everything. I replayed it the same way, but if you notice any inconsistencies in the house from here on out, that’s why. Moral of the story: SAVE. SAVE OFTEN.

Wynn: “Ooh… ow…”

Don’t worry, it’s almost over.

Wynn: “I have to do this TWENTY-FIVE MORE TIMES!?”

Actually twenty-four. Your future husband will have to do this once for an alien baby.

Wynn: “I HAVE TO DO THIS TWENTY-FOUR MORE TIMES!?”

Ah, there, see? That wasn’t so bad, was it?

Wynn: “Awww, look at her! She’s ADORABLE! Omigosh, she’s just the sweetest thing EVER!!”

Sorry for the gray triangle, by the way. I have no idea what it is or where it came from or why it’s here. It’s just… there. …maybe gray triangles are signs of the apocalypse.

So what are you going to call her?

Wynn: “Um… I need an ‘A’ name, don’t I… uh… how about Abigail?”

Sounds good to me. Abigail it is.

Wynn: “So what’s the theme?”

Theme? What theme?

Wynn: “There’s always been a naming theme, so what are we using?”

Uh… the alphabet?

Wynn: “…lame.”

What kind of family sim fears changing diapers? Seriously.

Wynn: “Author, this is why butlers exist. Diapers are gross. The babies are cute, but the diapers are disgusting.”

You have no concept of disgusting. You have no neat points.

Wynn: “So I don’t need to get any more on my hands than is already there! Right? That’s a good excuse, right?”

Wynn: “Author, you do realize I don’t have a garden, right? They’re not going to let me into the garden club.”

Humor me.

Wynn: “He’s in the garden club!?”

Oh, come on. I guess we’re going for the “Gage Uglacy” look here.

Here’s the rest of the garden club, not including Sidney, who we’ve already “scored” with, let’s say. Note that they both seem to have the same face template.

The game is trolling me now.

On a different garden club run, we got two ladies and this lovely face one gentleman. I think we’ll go for him next, just to help preserve my sanity.

Look who else decided to drop by.

…he’s not in this neighborhood to be a villain, but I think I’ll stay on this side of the fence anyway.

Wynn: “Aww, how are you today, Abby? Hungry?”

Just don’t let her near that counter. Do you suppose it’s become radioactive yet?

Wynn: “Oh, please. It’s just a little mess. I’ll clean it up. Eventually.”

Well, we invited Victor here back over. He asked to bring a friend, and I said, “Yay! Another chance to meet a special townie! Maybe a male one!” Guess who he brought?

That’s Sam of Boolprop, writer of the amazing Wrongway Legacy. She’s not a guy, but at least it wasn’t me this time.

Besides being a redhead with green eyes (yay, recessives), Victor is a Cancer. Good to know. *taking notes*

These two only have one bolt, but their relationship is flowing way easier than her and Sidney’s did, let me tell you. For one thing, Wynn is rolling flirt wants outside of the date scenario, which doesn’t always happen the instant a sim checks another out. Cool. *nod nod*

It’s not long before these two are sharing cereal, too.

Victor: “Hey, what’s up with the rotten plate?”

Wynn: “Can’t talk. Must eat.”

Abby’s birthday happened to be that night, so Victor even got to be present for the first caking of the challenge. Now isn’t that special?

Wynn: “Omigosh, would you look at this kid!?”

*squints* I can’t see past the confetti. Would you mind?

Ah, there we go. And wow. That is possibly the best possible combination of Wynn and Sidney there could be. Abby is downright gorgeous! And she has a whole six neat points!!

Wynn: “Six? …where did I go wrong?”

Victor: “Ha. I’ll betcha mine’s gonna be cuter than that. I’m face one, you know.”

I know, I know. There’s a point bonus for no uses of aspiration or career rewards, aside from elixir. I know. But… no. Just, no. I am not doing this without smart milk, and you can’t make me. *sticks tongue out*

Boing!

Abby: {Are we learning to walk or not, mother? I don’t have all night, you know…}

Wynn: “Look at you, walking all by yourself! You make Mommy so proud!”

And that’s all of Abby’s toddler skills. Next step: as many skill points as we can get her before she ages to child. This isn’t so tough!

Wynn: *snore*

Abby: {Mom. Mom. I’m ready for my bottle now. Mom. Mom? Mom.}

Wynn: “What, second pop already?”

What do you think? Boy or girl this time?

Wynn: “Meh, I don’t really care. A baby is a baby, after all! …although knowing my family… I’m probably going to have twenty-six girls.”

True dat.

Abby: {Don’t do this to me, Mom. Don’t put me in that water. I promise I’ll never get dirty again. Really. Don’t end my short life before it’s begun.}

Wynn: “Aw, look at you! You’re so cute when you’re pulling faces! Into the tub we go!”

Abby: {NOOOOO!! I’M TOO YOUNG TO BE CLEANED!!}

Wynn: “Um, who are you?”

Maddie: “I’m—”

SQUEE!! That’s Maddie Wrongway, fifth generation heiress of Sam’s Wrongway Legacy!! …where are all of my male “special” townies?

Fastest toddler stage ever, right here. But hey, only one more sim week, and then we have a free babysitter, and Wynn will be able to go to work again!

Wynn: “Joy. Is there something wrong with stringing maternity leave days together with actual pregnancies to avoid going in to work?”

And also, Abby managed to pick up enough charisma points for a scholarship, and got three creativity points on top of it. All in all, quite productive!

Hooray for good transition outfits *cough* since I can’t afford to buy new clothes *cough*. I’m getting the feeling you like pink, Abby!

Abby: “Yes, it’s my favorite color. I like pink.”

Abby: “Mommy, I’m tired. Can you buy me a bed?”

Wynn: “Well, I would, sweetie, but monsters live under beds, and you don’t want to be a monster’s dinner, do you?”

Abby: “…” *sniffle*

Wynn: “Oh, Abby darling. I was just making a joke. Yes, I’ve got a bed for you. It’s in my bedroom, where the new baby won’t wake you up. Don’t cry, okay?”

Clogs the toilet, then immediately goes into labor. In the tiny bathroom. Nicely done, Wynn. You’re starting to get the hang of this “challenge founder” thing.

Well, so much for that “twenty-six girls” theory of yours! What are you going to name him?

Wynn: “Bryan! Bryan Kinsey! Isn’t he just the most adorable thing you’ve ever seen!? I just want to eat him up!!”

Looks like he wants to eat you up, that’s for sure!

So… um. I booted up the game this morning, and noticed… this. Haven-in-the-Valley has apparently become a checkerboard? I must’ve done something wrong in Sim City 4 when I was making this map…

Wynn: “Oh, come on. Who keeps knocking over our trash can!? This is like, the third time we’ve gotten roaches!”

Well… I haven’t actually caught him at it yet…

…but I’ll give you three guesses.

Uh-oh, there’s the carpool. Hurry back inside, or they might figure out you’re here!

Wynn: “Good thing they keep paying me for vacation days, huh?”

Hi there, Ani-Mei. Nice to see you. Joining the lineup of special visitors to the lot, are we?

Ani-Mei: “Um, Keika, where is my husband?”

Oh, Sol? I left him behind in Riverblossom Hills. He wasn’t interesting enough to bring along. Sorry.

Ani-Mei: “...I am not amused.”

How’s the homework going?

Wynn: “She keeps getting distracted by the TV!”

Then turn it off.

Wynn: “But then I won’t have anything to listen to while I’m teaching her how to study!”

Darn. We lost the acquaintances of the other male members of the garden club when my game crashed, and this time around I’m only seeing men Wynn has already “scored” with and then a lady who is ineligible. Sigh. I guess we’ll have to try again later.

So, Abby. Whatcha doing?

Abby: “Painting.”

What are you painting?

Abby: “A lady. I want to sell it for cash. Also I need the creativity points.”

Very… pragmatic of you.

Well, she progressed quickly!

Also, is that a male hobby master I see? Yes, please!

Wynn: “Oh, look at that. It’s a fire.”

Wynn: “Holy cow, it’s a FIRE!!”

Wynn: “You know, he’s a service NPC.”

Uh… no. Sorry. No. We’re not going to go there any more than we have to. There are lots more service NPCs where he comes from.

Happy birthday, Bryan! Aw, he is just too cute! And let’s see, he’s got… zero neat points.

*sigh*

Wynn: “Aw, he’s just like Mommy! Aren’t you, sweetie pie? Aren’t you? You make Mommy so proud!”

Wynn: “Bored now. Why am I not pregnant yet?”

And on that note, we’re going to wrap up for this chapter! Let’s see the scores so far!

Yes, I am actually scoring this challenge. No, I am not going to give up five chapters in this time. I’m going to actually have a score at the end of this one, gosh dangit!

New Fathers:1: Sidney Hunter (logged as Aries)2: Victor Lear (logged as Green Eyes)

New Points

Each child with a different father +2

Pregnancies concluded before founder marries (after the first) +0.5

NPCs used as fathers (after the first) +1

Founder does not attend university and starts her family on an empty lot +5

Total Points: 8.5