1. Effective Discipline for Children 2-12 1-2-3 Magic Effective Discipline for 1 Children 2-12

2. Dale Sundermann MSW Offutt Family Advocacy &Airman and Family Readiness

3. Who can use1-2-3 MAGIC?* Parents* Grandparents* Nannies* Sitters* Teachers 1-2-3 Magic Effective Discipline for 3 Children 2-12

4. Part IStraight Thinking 1-2-3 Magic Effective Discipline for 4 Children 2-12

5. 1-2-3 Magic Effective Discipline for 5 Children 2-12

6. What Is The Problem? Kids dont come with a training manual. They are either doing what you dont want them to do. Or they are not doing what you do want them to do. 1-2-3 Magic Effective Discipline for 6 Children 2-12

7. START BEHAVIOR and STOP BEHAVIOR When you are having problems with your kids, they are either 1) doing something you would like them to stop 2) not doing something you would like them to start! 1-2-3 Magic Effective Discipline for 7 Children 2-12

8. For STOP BEHAVIORSSuch As: Arguing Fighting Screaming Tantrums Teasing Whining You will use the Counting procedure. 1-2-3 Magic Effective Discipline for 8 Children 2-12

9. Little Adult Assumption Words and reason will not always work Often lead to the Talk- Persuade-Argue-Yell-Hit Syndrome Think of yourself as a wild animal trainer 1-2-3 Magic Effective Discipline for 9 Children 2-12

10. The Wild Animal TrainerObjective: Choose a training method Repeat it until it works If done correctly, you will get results 1-2-3 Magic Effective Discipline for 10 Children 2-12

11. The TWO BIGGEST Mistakes Parents Make Too Much Talking & Too Much Emotion 1-2-3 Magic Effective Discipline for 11 Children 2-12

12. Too Much Talking is a problembecause it either does not work or it takes .you through the Talk-Persuade-Argue-Yell-Hit-Syndrome.Too Much Emotion is a problembecause the child enjoys the powerthat comes with gettinga parent upset. 1-2-3 Magic Effective Discipline for 12 Children 2-12

13. Too Much Talking Can Be Destructive When children are little they feel inferior, because they are. This lessness bugs them a lot. Dr. Thomas Phelan 1-2-3 Magic Effective Discipline for 13 Children 2-12

14. Who Is Responsible?The child is responsible for his own behaviorBut too much talking takes the childs focusoff of good behavior and places it on thepossibility of a good fight! 1-2-3 Magic Effective Discipline for 14 Children 2-12

15. Part IIControlling Obnoxious Behavior 1-2-3 Magic Effective Discipline for 15 Children 2-12

16. The 1-2-3 MethodFirst, you will use the 1-2-3, orcounting method, to deal with STOPbehaviors.The following is a list of some typicalSTOP behaviors.Arguing Fighting WhiningYelling Tantrums Etc. 1-2-3 Magic Effective Discipline for 16 Children 2-12

17. The 1-2-3 MethodSecond, after you hear how to do the 1-2-3,you are likely to become skeptical. You may say This is too easy. 1-2-3 is simple, but not always easy. It is very powerful if you follow the No-Talking, No-Emotion Rules. 1-2-3 Magic Effective Discipline for 17 Children 2-12

18. Using The Counting Method To Stop Obnoxious Behavior Remember: No When the behavior Talking and No occurs the parent Emotion. holds up 1 finger and says,Thats 1. Parent waits 5 seconds to see if the behavior continues. 1-2-3 Magic Effective Discipline for 18 Children 2-12

19. Using The Counting Method To Stop Obnoxious Behavior Remember: No Talking If the behavior and No Emotion. continues, the parent holds up two fingers and says Thats 2. Parent waits 5 seconds to see if the behavior continues. 1-2-3 Magic Effective Discipline for 19 Children 2-12

20. Using The Counting Method To Stop Obnoxious Behavior Remember: No If the behavior Talking and No continues, the Emotion. parent holds up three fingers and says. Thats 3, take 5. 1-2-3 Magic Effective Discipline for 20 Children 2-12

21. The Automatic 3 Examples When the child does something very bad Hitting it becomes an Spitting Automatic 3 Offensive language Biting 1-2-3 Magic Effective Discipline for 21 Children 2-12

22. The Following Problems Require Some Minor Modifications Pouting Passive behavior designed to make a parent feel guilty. Walk away and ignore the behavior. If the child is an aggressive pouter and follows the parent around, use counting. 1-2-3 Magic Effective Discipline for 22 Children 2-12

23. The Following Problems Require Some Minor Modifications Sibling Rivalry Dont send both fighting kids to the Count both kids same room. Never ask What happened? or Who started it? Dont expect the older child to be more mature. 1-2-3 Magic Effective Discipline for 23 Children 2-12

24. Counting in Action 1- 2 -3 Practice Role Plays Video Clips 1-2-3 Magic Effective Discipline for 24 Children 2-12

25. Whats Good About The 1-2-3 Discipline is less exhausting Your authority is not negotiable The punishment is brief Its easy to learn 1-2-3 Magic Effective Discipline for 25 Children 2-12

26. Questions About Time Out How long should the What happens when the rest period be? rest period is over? What if the child does something right after the rest period is over? What if the child never stops until I get to the count of 2? 1-2-3 Magic Effective Discipline for 26 Children 2-12

27. What To Do In Public Child has a powerful weaponIf in doubt, dont take them out. Use alternative time out locations: bathrooms, corner of a store, car, front of a store etc. Set expectations and possible reward system up front. Keep moving if child is having a tantrum. 1-2-3 Magic Effective Discipline for 27 Children 2-12

28. Riding in the Car Short Trips: What to do at 3 - No talking - Pull over to side of road - Money taken off allowance Long Trips: - Earn spending money - Games - VCR Dont leave on a long vacation without putting on your thinking cap. 1-2-3 Magic Effective Discipline for 28 Children 2-12

29. Frequently Asked Questions What do you do if the child counts you back? What if there is a problem between children but you didnt see what happened? How long do you take between counts? If a child hits 1 or 2, does he stay at that count for the rest of the day? My child has a fit when I try to drop him off at preschool! Does the room have to be a sterile environment? 1-2-3 Magic Effective Discipline for 29 Children 2-12

30. Frequently Asked Questions Can you count different misbehaviors to get to 3? Can you ever ignore anything? What if you have other people over? Can you use a time-out chair instead of a room? What if the child wont stay in his room? What if the child wont come out? 1-2-3 Magic Effective Discipline for 30 Children 2-12

31. Frequently Asked Questions Help-my kids go nuts when I am on the phone!! Does being counted hurt the childs self-esteem? What if the kid wrecks the room during the rest period? What if your child urinates on the floor during the time out? Should you ever spank a child? Why give kids three chances to misbehave? Shouldnt the kids ever apologize? 1-2-3 Magic Effective Discipline for 31 Children 2-12

32. The Kickoff Conversation Explain the 1-2-3 and what to expect after each count and what happens after a time-out.Get ready for the Six Kinds ofTesting and Manipulation. 1-2-3 Magic Effective Discipline for 32 Children 2-12

33. Part IIINo Child Will Thank You 1-2-3 Magic Effective Discipline for 33 Children 2-12

34. The Six Kinds ofTesting Manipulation 1. Badgering 2. Intimidation 3. Threat 4. Martyrdom 5. Butter Up 6. Physical Tactics 1-2-3 Magic Effective Discipline for 34 Children 2-12

35. The $64,000 QuestionDoes your child have a favoritetactic?What does it works mean?Do it rightWhat to expect 1-2-3 Magic Effective Discipline for 35 Children 2-12

36. The Major/Minor SystemMajor offenses Medium offenses- Stealing - Coming home less than- Fighting 3 hours late- Breaking a valuable - Lying item Minor offenses- Playing with fire - Coming home less- Coming home more than 1 hour late than 3 hours late - Breaking something valued at less than $10 1-2-3 Magic Effective Discipline for 36 Children 2-12

37. ConsequencesMajor Consequences Medium offenses- 7 days grounding - Three days grounding in- $10 fine or pay back room double the value of stolen - $5 fine article - 4 hours of chores- No TV or computer for two Minor offenses weeks - One hour grounding in- 8 hours work around the room house - $2 fine - 2 hours of chores 1-2-3 Magic Effective Discipline for 37 Children 2-12

38. The PayoffNow that you know what the 1-2-3 is allabout, you are ready to get started. You will be in good company! You can expect RESULTS. You can expect less arguing and yelling.The 1-2-3 works IF YOU DO IT!! 1-2-3 Magic Effective Discipline for 38 Children 2-12