5 Love Languages of Children

Presented by: Melissa J. MacDonald

Love as the foundation

• You may truly love your child but unless she/he feels it they will not feel loved.

• Every child has an emotional tank, a place of emotional strength that can fuel them now and in the future.

• By speaking your child’s own love language you can fill his “emotional tank” with love.

The 5 Love Languages

• Physical Touch

• Words of Affirmation

• Quality Time

• Gifts

• Acts of Service

Remember

• Every child has their own special way of perceiving love.

• No child can receive too much appropriate unconditional love

• Your children will sense how you feel about them by how you behave toward them.

Physical Touch

Physical Touch

• Physical touch is one of love’s strongest voices.

• Studies have found that most parents only touch when necessary

• All children need to be touched

• A hug given before a child leaves for school could be the difference between emotional security and insecurity through the day.

Physical Touch

• Keep filling the love tank even if your child isn’t showing signs they need it

• In pre-adolescent and adolescence you must keep touching

• Be intentional about physical touch

Loving through physical touch

• Snuggle while watching tv together

• Hug and kiss your child every day before and after school and as you tuck them into bed.

• Give high fives

• Play games that require physical touch

Words of Affirmation

Words of Affirmation

• Words of affirmation goes beyond just saying “I love you”

• If you use praise too frequently, your words will have little positive effect.

• The word encourage literally means “to instill courage”

• The greatest enemy of encouraging is is anger. • The volume of your voice matters greatly

Words of Affirmation

• Be careful not to give the right message in the wrong manner. • ie. Yelling “stop screaming and yelling at

your brother”

• Your words are very important and help shape your child

• Be intentional• “Parenting is not just a matter of doing what

comes naturally”

Loving through words of affirmation

• Put a note in your child’s lunch

• Mention specific moments you’ve observed that highlight your child’s accomplishments

• Create a special nickname for your child

• Say, “I love you”

Quality Time

Quality Time

• “He does things with me”

• Quality time is focused, undivided attention.

• Quality time is a parent’s gift of presence to a child.

• You don’t necessarily have to go anywhere

• Use eye contact

Quality Time

• Quality time is not just doing things together, it’s a time for knowing your child better

• Children never outgrow the need for quality conversations with parents and adults.

Loving through quality time

• Stop what your doing when your child is telling you something important and make eye contact with them.

• Ask specific questions about your child’s day

• Take family walks and bike rides together.

• Share meals as a family

Gifts

Gifts

• Other love languages must be given along with a gift

• A true gift is not a payment for services rendered, it is an expression of love for the individual

• If we do not present gifts as expressions of love, children may learn to receive them as “what is to be expected”

Gifts

• Be careful not to abuse gift-giving

• Parents and grandparents may need to give less rather than more, carefully choosing gifts that will be meaningful.

• Not all gifts must come from a store

Loving through gift giving

• Make a meal you know your child likes.

• Give your child a special song.

• Create a “secret drawer” where your child can keep her small “treasures”- anything from a bird feather to a pack of gum.

• Hide a small gift in your child’s lunch box.

Acts of Service

Acts of Service

• The day you found out you would have a child you enrolled into full-time service.

• What would most please your children at the moment is likely not the best way to express your love.

• As you express acts of service to your children you are setting a model.

Acts of Service

• Loving service is an internally motivated desire to give one’s energy to others.

• Do an attitude check every now and then to be sure that your acts of service are communicating love.

Loving through acts of service

• help your children practice for their sports team

• Begin teaching your child the importance of serving other through regular involvement together in a local community group or church ministry.

• Create flash cards for your child’s upcoming test or quiz

Finding your child’s love language

• It takes time

• Kids are constantly growing and shifting

• Children need all love languages to fill their love tank

• Observe how your child expresses love

• Listen to what your child requests most often

Finding your child’s love language

• Notice what your child frequently complains about

• Give your child a choice between two options

• Be multi-lingual

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5 Love Languages of Children

Presented by: Melissa J. MacDonald