a matter of principals lead author: horizon contributing...
TRANSCRIPT
A MATTER OF PRINCIPALS
Lead Author: Horizon
Contributing Authors: Monochromatic, SkywriterEditing/Assistance: Aquaman
For Bronycon 2019
Final: 2019-07-25[public version 2019-12]
READING INSTRUCTIONS:THIS IS WRITTEN AS A RADIO PLAY. STAGE DIRECTIONS ARE TO BE FOLLOWED, NOT READ OUT LOUD. THEY ARE GUIDANCE FOR LINES, OR CUES FOR VISUAL OR INTERACTIVE GAGS WHICH TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE IN-PERSON AUDIENCE. INT. CANTERLOT HIGH GYMNASIUM - DAY
NARRATOROne day, in the Canterlot High gymnasium...
SUNSET SHIMMER
Great work, everybody! We're almost done!
PINKIE PIE
Woo-hoo! This is going to be the best graduation party EVER!
SUNSET SHIMMER
Rainbow Dash? Applejack? Keep posting those flyers directing everyone to the gym.
RAINBOW DASH
You bet, Sunset!
APPLEJACKSure thing!
SUNSET SHIMMER
Rarity, those decorations look AMAZING.
RARITY
Thank you, darling!
SUNSET SHIMMERFluttershy, you... just keep working on that singing pigeon chorus.
FLUTTERSHY
I'm helping!
SUNSET SHIMMERAwesome. Pinkie Pie, let's go over everyone's RSVPs.
2.
PRINCIPAL CELESTIA [ALUMX]Is there anything I can do to help?
HUMANE SIX
Principal Celestia! ALL THE VOICE ACTORS pause for a moment and look down the table at NICOLE OLIVER, who SHRUGS.
SUNSET SHIMMERWe're good, thanks. But, uhh... is everything alright? You sound kind of funny.
PRINCIPAL CELESTIA
Oh, I just got over a cold. But I know how important this party is to my star pupils. If there's anything you need, let me know.
APPLEJACK
Sure thing.
PRINCIPAL CELESTIAAnd I just wanted to say... I'm so proud of you all. You've come such a long way. Especially you, Sunset.
SUNSET SHIMMER
(stunned)Thank you.
PRINCIPAL CELESTIA
See you around.
FLUTTERSHYWell, that was nice of her.
Beat.
RAINBOW DASHAir traffic control to Sunset? Hello?
SUNSET SHIMMER
(startled)Oh! Uh, sorry.
RARITY
Is something the matter, darling?
3.
SUNSET SHIMMERNo! I'm fine. It's just... once upon a time, I would have done anything to hear that from Celestia.
(beat)The drinks! Oh gosh, I forgot to put the soda order in!
PRINCESS CELESTIA [NICOLE]
Is there anything I can do to help?
HUMANE SIX
Principal Celestia...??!?
PRINCESS CELESTIAYes! Just an ordinary principal, here to visit my star pupil.
(beat)Pupils. Ha-ha.
CELESTIA smiles amid awkward silence.
PRINCESS CELESTIA (CONT'D)So. Um... if there's anything you need, let me know.
APPLEJACK
... Sure... thing.
PRINCESS CELESTIASee you around.
Beat.
RAINBOW DASHAwwww yeah! Graduation party changeling invasion!
SUNSET SHIMMER
(loud sigh) MY LITTLE PONY THEME SONG plays. INT. FAST-FOOD RESTAURANT - DAY
NARRATORA short time later!
4.
FLUTTERSHY(whispering)
There she is, up by the counter.
RAINBOW DASH(whispering)
Yes! Time to kick some changeling butt!
RARITY
(whispering)Rainbow Dash, what is a changeling, and why must you insist on fighting it?
RAINBOW DASH
(whispering)I see SOMEBODY was busy painting their nails last slumber party instead of listening to Princess Twilight talk about home.
PINKIE PIE
(stage-whispering)Ooh, it looks like she's doing one of those villain monologue things where she talks about her evil plan.
SUNSET SHIMMER
(whispering)Let's see if we can sneak closer in.
PRINCESS CELESTIA [NICOLE]
(laughing sadly)Well, that didn't work.
FAST FOOD EMPLOYEE
Ma'am?
PRINCESS CELESTIAI should have known Sunset would be too busy to talk to me. I shouldn't have even come. But now that Twilight and her friends are running Equestria, and Luna and I have finished our vacation, I... just don't have anything to do.
FAST FOOD EMPLOYEE
Ma'am.
5.
PRINCESS CELESTIAI can't even go back to teaching. Three generations I ran Princess Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns. Three generations! And in the span of a single year it's had accreditation problems, declining enrollment, a Smooze flood... okay, that one was basically my fault. But I can't even try to fix things because now it's getting merged with Twilight Sparkle's School of Friendship.
A/V: Gentle, sweet VIOLIN MUSIC plays in background, as if this is building up to a musical number.
PRINCESS CELESTIA (CONT'D)Is that it, after all these years? Is there no more good I can do? Has the world moved on? Am I... washed up?
FAST FOOD EMPLOYEE
Ma'am! VIOLIN MUSIC stops.
FAST FOOD EMPLOYEE (CONT'D)Ma'am, this is a Wendy's.
PRINCESS CELESTIA
(awkwardly)Oh. I'm sorry. I-–
Beat.
PRINCESS CELESTIA (CONT'D)Sunset Shimmer?
PINKIE PIE
(gasps)We've been made!
RAINBOW DASH
Get the changeling!
6.
SUNSET SHIMMERHold ON, Dash!
(to CELESTIA)First, let's see who you really are!
REBECCA SHOICHET grabs NICOLE OLIVER'S hand and holds it up. Beat.
PRINCESS CELESTIAWhat's she doing?
PINKIE PIE
Oh, just using her special magical empathy powers to look inside your brain and learn what we'd already know if we'd been close enough to hear your exposition.
SUNSET SHIMMER gasps, letting go of CELESTIA.
SUNSET SHIMMERPrincess!
PRINCESS CELESTIA
Sunset?
SUNSET SHIMMERI'm so sorry. I didn't know things were so hard for you.
(refocusing)Girls? This is Princess Celestia, from the far side of the portal. A very special pony... and my old teacher.
RAINBOW DASH
Not a changeling?
SUNSET SHIMMERNO, Dash.
RAINBOW DASH
Ugh.
7.
SUNSET SHIMMER(To MANE FIVE)
Would you girls be willing to set up the graduation party without me? So the Princess and I can spend some time together?
PRINCESS CELESTIA
You'd do that for me?
SUNSET SHIMMEROf course! The last time I visited Equestria, all we got to do was talk. Maybe you could take me around Canterlot and show me all the things you've done since I've left? You...
SUNSET SHIMMER smiles, her emotions warring.
SUNSET SHIMMER (CONT'D)...must have so much to be proud of.
PRINCESS CELESTIA
I'd love that.
RARITYAww, how sweet. Sunset, darling, of COURSE we can finish without you.
APPLEJACK
Except for the soda order.
SUNSET SHIMMERThat's right! Shoot.
(To CELESTIA)Wait right here! I'll go grab my wallet, text that order in, and then we'll head to Equestria.
PRINCESS CELESTIA
Certainly! Take whatever time you need to... er... "text".
INT. CANTERLOT HIGH GYMNASIUM - DAY
NARRATORTwenty minutes later, back at the school gym!
8.
PINKIE PIEGraduation cake incoming!
RARITY
Not yet, darling! The tablecloths aren't straight!
FLUTTERSHY
Rainbow Dash? Could you move that banner three feet to the right?
RAINBOW DASH
I can't hear you from up here.
FLUTTERSHY(pointing)
Banner. Three feet right.
RAINBOW DASHLouder!
FLUTTERSHY
Three feet right.
RAINBOW DASHLouder!
FLUTTERSHY loudly inhales.
APPLEJACK(shouting)
She said three feet right. Beat.
FLUTTERSHY(squeaks)
RAINBOW DASH
Geez, AJ, no need to shout.
RARITYOh! Yoo-hoo, Principal Celestia! I'm glad you're back-–we're running a teensy bit behind. Could I get a hand with these bouquets?
The VOICE ACTORS look expectantly at ALUMX.
9.
PRINCESS CELESTIA [NICOLE]Certainly, but I may not be here for long.
Beat.
PINKIE PIEUh-oh. You sound like a princess.
PRINCESS CELESTIA
I hate to interrupt you, but did Sunset Shimmer ever finish her order of the "texting"?
RARITY
I don't quite know how to break it to you, Your Highness. But you and Sunset Shimmer went back to Equestria ten minutes ago.
PRINCESS CELESTIA
Oh. Beat. Then PRINCESS CELESTIA laughs.
PRINCESS CELESTIA (CONT'D)Is that supposed to be a PROBLEM? There are multiple portals to Equestria permanently open these days. I'll just go back through and-–
MAYOR MARE's Equestria Girls counterpart, a SCHOOL ADMINISTRATOR, appears.
ADMINISTRATOR MARE [CATHY]Principal Celestia!
HUMANE FIVE
Administrator Mare!
ADMINISTRATOR MAREThank goodness I found you. Canterlot High has a PROBLEM!
PRINCESS CELESTIA
A problem?(Suddenly excited)
With a SCHOOL?
ADMINISTRATOR MAREYes! The school board is here!
10.
RARITYMiss Mare! I realize this is urgent, but could the... ah... "Principal" and I have a moment, please?
PRINCESS CELESTIA
No, no, it's alright! I'm sure Sunset will understand a few minutes' delay if there are people who need me.
(To SCHOOLTEACHER)Lead on, Miss Mare. You have no idea how excited I am to be able to help.
ADMINISTRATOR MARE
Great. This way! Beat.
APPLEJACKThis is going to be one of THOSE days, ain't it?
RARITY
Celestia is a princess in the other world, isn't she? I'm certain she can take care of herself.
RAINBOW DASH
Yeah, she must beat up all the monsters that even Twilight couldn't handle.
FLUTTERSHY
You know, Equestria IS pretty dangerous. I hope Principal Celestia is okay.
INT. FRIENDSHIP PALACE BASEMENT - DAY
NARRATORMeanwhile, in Equestria!
11.
SUNSET SHIMMERWhoo, ha-ha! You know, I go through the portal so often these days that I don't have to adjust to being a pony any more. Shall we head to Canterlot?
(beat)Princess?
PRINCIPAL CELESTIA [ALUMX]
AAAAA!! PONY FACE!!
SUNSET SHIMMER(drily)
Well, THAT'S something I wasn't expecting to hear twice in a row.
PRINCIPAL CELESTIA
ALL MY THINGS ARE HORSE THINGS!
SUNSET SHIMMERO-Kay! Calm down, Principal Celestia. It's alright.
PRINCIPAL CELESTIA
HOW IS IT ALRIGHT.
SUNSET SHIMMERThis is Equestria! Where I come from.
PRINCIPAL CELESTIA
WHY AM I A HORSE.
SUNSET SHIMMERAn "alicorn". Your counterpart here is the princess who uses her magic to raise the sun every morning.
PRINCIPAL CELESTIA
(Slowly calming down)...MAGIC horse?
SUNSET SHIMMER
Yeah. Equestria's where the magic comes from that the girls and I save the school with.
(aside)Like, every other week.
12.
PRINCIPAL CELESTIAMagic horse who raises the sun.
SUNSET SHIMMER
Yeah.
PRINCIPAL CELESTIAWith magic.
SUNSET SHIMMER
Uhh. We can talk about it later. As SUNSET SHIMMER continues to speak, SPIKE begins to wail in the distance, gradually getting louder and closer.
SUNSET SHIMMER (CONT'D)First, let's take you home and... go... get...
SPIKE
(Finally bursting into the room)
--AAAAAAAAAA! SPIKE pauses to gasp for breath.
SUNSET SHIMMERSpike?
SPIKE
Princess Celestia! Sunset Shimmer! Thank goodness you're here!
PRINCIPAL CELESTIA
(attempting to interrupt)
Actually, I'm the-–
SPIKEThere's a giant monster stomping Ponyville flat, and there's a friendship school field trip, so everypony who can fix this is GONE FOR A WEEK!
SUNSET SHIMMER
(to CELESTIA)Okay, DEFINITELY taking you home now.
13.
PRINCIPAL CELESTIAWait.
Beat.
PRINCIPAL CELESTIA (CONT'D)You're saying there's a monster destroying a city. And this world's me is a MAGIC horse. Who moves the SUN.
Beat. SPIKE slowly catches on.
SPIKE(pointing)
PRINCIPAL Celestia? ALUMX puts his fingers to his head in concentration. A/V DEPARTMENT: Lowers the room lights on one side of the hall, then brings them back up. Lowers the room lights on the other side of the hall, then brings them back up.
SPIKE (CONT'D)Wow. You're a quick study at that sun thing.
PRINCIPAL CELESTIA
(confidently)Little dragon-man. Take me to this monster.
SUNSET SHIMMER
Hoo boy. INT. CANTERLOT HIGH OFFICES - DAY PRINCESS CELESTIA speaks with three SCHOOL BOARD members. Whoever voices SCHOOL BOARD 3 should be seated fairly close to NICOLE OLIVER.
NARRATORMeanwhile, at Canterlot High!
14.
PRINCESS CELESTIA [NICOLE]Hearken unto us, loyal subjects and councillors, and heed our decrees. In turn, render thine advice according to thy wisdom, that we may work toward the commonweal of this school.
(She grins)Sometimes there really is no substitute for traditional forms of introduction, don't you think?
SCHOOL BOARD 1, 2, 3
(confused walla)
PRINCESS CELESTIASo, members of the esteemed "School Board". What is this problem we're having?
SCHOOL BOARD 1
(clearing throat)Let's start with your recent request for funds to buy updated computers for the school library.
PRINCESS CELESTIA
To buy... excuse me?
SCHOOL BOARD 1Computers.
PRINCESS CELESTIA
Computers?...Yes. Yes! Computers! I know what those are. Of course.
Beat.
PRINCESS CELESTIA (CONT'D)Hypothetically speaking, what would one look like?
SCHOOL BOARD 2
...Like the one on your desk there.
PRINCESS CELESTIA
THAT'S a computer? If possible: NICOLE OLIVER opens a laptop set nearby.
15.
PRINCESS CELESTIA (CONT'D)My word! How marvelously decorative! Double the request. I want to take some home to Equestria.
SCHOOL BOARD 1
Pardon me? Did you say 'double'?
SCHOOL BOARD 2'Take some home'?
SCHOOL BOARD 3
Equestria?
SCHOOL BOARD 1Principal Celestia, is this your way of trying to get us to accept your request for more vacation days?
PRINCESS CELESTIA
(horrified)Why would I want more vacations?!
SCHOOL BOARD 2
Well, we thought the strain of your position has been getting to you recently. In light of recent, ah, supernatural events.
PRINCESS CELESTIA
(laughs)No, no, I'm QUITE used to those.
SCHOOL BOARD 1, 2, 3
(confused muttering)
PRINCESS CELESTIAThey're quite invigorating, truth be told. In fact, I could do with a few more. I miss the danger.
SCHOOL BOARD 1, 2, 3
(confused AND concerned muttering)
PRINCESS CELESTIA
Beg pardon, I'm digressing. We were talking about... com-tupers, correct?
16.
SCHOOL BOARD 1Yes, well, we can finish that conversation another time.
SCHOOL BOARD 2
I'm sure we'd be happy to grant you all the vacation time you clearly need, principal.
PRINCESS CELESTIA
(eagerly)Anything else?
SCHOOL BOARD 3
(reluctantly)Well ... we HAVE outlined some of our concerns over the current curriculum. Here.
S.B.3's VOICE ACTOR holds up a paper toward NICOLE. Rather than taking it, she squints at it. Squints hard. Beat. NICOLE puts her fingers to her head in concentration.
SCHOOL BOARD 3 (CONT'D)(very concerned)
Principal Celestia?
PRINCESS CELESTIA(concentration broken)
Oh! I don't have my magic here, do I? Ha-ha-ha!
NICOLE OLIVER reaches out and grabs the paper, delighted.
PRINCESS CELESTIA (CONT'D)I have to grab things now! How delightfully pedestrian.
SCHOOL BOARD 2
...Right. Well. Good day.
PRINCESS CELESTIAGoodbye! It was a joy to meet you!
(beat)Again.
SCHOOL BOARD 1, 2, 3
(concerned muttering) The SCHOOL BOARD noise gets more distant as they flee.
17.
PRINCESS CELESTIAThat was fun!
ADMINISTRATOR MARE
Principal Celestia! I'm so sorry to interrupt, but we ALSO have a student emergency-–
PRINCESS CELESTIA
An emergency! How wonderful!... Wonderfully terrible, I mean. Er, do come in!
ADMINISTRATOR MARE
(angrily)You heard her! In! And stop rubbing your black eye, Diamond Tiara. You'll only make it worse!
PRINCESS CELESTIA
Goodness, what happened?
ADMINISTRATOR MAREApple Bloom here got into a fight with Diamond Tiara right in the middle of physics class. They've ALREADY been caught fighting two times this month!
APPLE BLOOM
She started it! She said the dirt in her shoe has a better education than me!
DIAMOND TIARA
Well, it's true!
APPLE BLOOMYou go to the same school as me!
DIAMOND TIARA
Ugh. Whatever.
PRINCESS CELESTIA(sighing)
Girls. Apple Bloom does have a point, but-–
DIAMOND TIARA
WHAT?! Wait until my father hears about this!
18.
APPLE BLOOMYou can't say that every darn time!
PRINCESS CELESTIA
AHEM!(beat)
As I was saying! Apple Bloom, while you DO have a point about school pride, I expect better of you. Have you been too busy fighting to pay attention during friendship studies?
DIAMOND TIARA
(snickering)Friendship studies?
PRINCESS CELESTIA
(puzzled)Yes, your classes on the study of friendship.
APPLE BLOOM
Erm, Principal Celestia, we ain't never had anything like that.
PRINCESS CELESTIA
What?!
ADMINISTRATOR MAREI've never heard of that either, Principal.
PRINCESS CELESTIA
But-–! Wait. Where were those papers from the school board? Here!... Let's see. Literature, yes, mathematics, good, history, home economics, P.E., biology...
Beat.
PRINCESS CELESTIA (CONT'D)Apple Bloom. Diamond Tiara. You must excuse us. Administrator Mare and I have a critical matter to attend to.
19.
INT. CANTERLOT HIGH - RADIO ROOM - DAY
NARRATORA few minutes later!
NICOLE OLIVER taps against her microphone.
PRINCESS CELESTIAAnd you say this will carry my voice over the entire school? How convenient! This is so much better for my throat than the Royal Canterlot Voice!
ADMINISTRATOR MARE
Oh dear... NICOLE picks up her microphone.
PRINCESS CELESTIAAttention, students of Canterlot High. This is your principal, announcing a crucial and immediate change in the school's curriculum-–the addition of mandatory friendship studies.
ADMINISTRATOR MARE
(interrupting)Principal Celestia!
NICOLE sets down her microphone.
PRINCESS CELESTIAYes?
ADMINISTRATOR MARE
Are you certain about this? You'd be holding students back at least three semesters!
PRINCESS CELESTIA
Only three? Oh, no, no! Something as important as friendship could take a full nine.
Beat.
ADMINISTRATOR MAREBut-–the students will riot!
20.
PRINCESS CELESTIASurely it can't be THAT bad.
ADMINISTRATOR MARE
Not to mention the overtime we'll have to budget.
PRINCESS CELESTIA
Miss Mare. Friendship is the single most important lesson we could possibly impart. Money is no object.
ADMINISTRATOR MARE
...No...object? Beat.
ADMINISTRATOR MARE (CONT'D)(excitedly)
Do it! DO IT! NICOLE picks up her mic again.
PRINCESS CELESTIASince this new curriculum applies to all students, seniors will have to return to their studies, and cannot graduate until they pass.
Beat. NICOLE sets down her mic.
PRINCESS CELESTIA (CONT'D)I don't hear rioting. Do you hear rioting?
(beat)Well! That went better than expected.
STUDENT MOB
(rioting walla)Rabble rabble rabble!
PRINCESS CELESTIA
Ah. Nevermind.
ADMINISTRATOR MAREAll *I* hear is the sound of sweet, sweet OVERTIME!
21.
PRINCESS CELESTIAI'm sure they're just overreacting, heh-heh. But they'll be learning friendship! It will be alright in the end.
ADMINISTRATOR MARE
Ten-hour days! No, twelve! Sixteen!
(Maniacal laughter)The school shall last FOREVER!
EXT. EQUESTRIA - DAY
NARRATORMeanwhile, as a monster attacks Ponyville!
It's a SCENE OF CHAOS. All VAs should be participating in BACKGROUND NOISE: high-voiced VAs as PANICKING PONIES, low-voiced VAs as DARK CULTISTS.
PANICKING PONIES(panic walla)
DARK CULTISTS
(continuously chanting)
Ka-thoo-loo! Ka-thoo-loo!
GREAT CTHULHU(deep bass voice)
BEHOLD ME! TREMBLE BEFORE THE MIGHTIEST OF THE ELDER GODS!
PANICKING PONIES
(screams)
PRINCIPAL CELESTIA [ALUMX]HEY TENTACLE-FACE!
ALL NOISE STOPS as Celestia shouts.
PRINCIPAL CELESTIAMY turn!
PANICKING PONIES
(cheering walla)Celestia! Hooray!
22.
SUNSET SHIMMERPrincipal, what are you doing?!
PRINCIPAL CELESTIA
Sunset.
SUNSET SHIMMERYes?
PRINCIPAL CELESTIA
(slowly and intently)I run a high school. And for the first time in my life, the solution to a problem DOESN'T involve meekly pleading with teenagers to behave.
(leaning in)GIVE. ME. THIS.
GREAT CTHULHU
Foolish mortal! Cthulhu is all powerful! YOUR WORLD IS MINE! A-hahaha... haaaa.... wait. No. Stop. What are you-–
EVERYONE ELSE
(wincing)Oooohh!
SPIKE
I didn't know the sun could do that.
GREAT CTHULHU
(pitch much higher)No no no! Stop!
EVERYONE ELSE
(covering their eyes)Ooooohhhhh!
SPIKE
If I ever go back through the portal, I am NEVER getting within a mile of detention.
SUNSET SHIMMER
Me neither.
GREAT CTHULHU(sobbing)
Uncle! UNCLE! I GIVE!
23.
PRINCIPAL CELESTIAHa. Haaaaa. Ahaha. HAHAHAHAHA! WHICH ANCIENT ALL-POWERFUL EVIL IS NEXT?!
SUNSET SHIMMER
Principal! Wait! Beat.
SUNSET SHIMMER (CONT'D)She teleported away.
SPIKE
I'll go wake up Princess Luna.
SUNSET SHIMMERI'll go find Princess Celestia.
EXT. CANTERLOT HIGH - DAY
NARRATORMeanwhile, at the high school!
It's a SCENE OF CHAOS.
STUDENT MOB(walla)
Rabble rabble rabble!
DIAMOND TIARAAlright fellas! Follow me!
STUDENT MOB
Yeah! Diamond Tiara!(chanting)
No more pencils! No more books!No more teacher's dirty looks!
DIAMOND TIARA
If we burn down the building, YOU get summer break, and *I* get to go to that private academy!
STUDENT MOB
(cheering walla)
DIAMOND TIARAYes! BURN! Ahahahaha... huh?
24.
APPLE BLOOMNot on MY watch, you two-bit bully!
DIAMOND TIARA
Why, you!
APPLE BLOOMHyah!
SFX [from VAs]: FIGHT NOISES.
DIAMOND TIARA(taking a blow)
Oof!
APPLE BLOOMGot you!
STUDENT MOB
(walla)Rabble rabble rabble!
APPLE BLOOM
...Okay, I DON'T got YOU.
APPLEJACKSis! Hold on!
APPLE BLOOM
Applejack!
STUDENT MOB(walla)
Rabble rabble!
APPLEJACKNow listen up!
The STUDENT MOB goes silent.
APPLEJACK (CONT'D)I'm gonna show y'all some down-home country magic. See this crowbar?
(beat)Well, look at that, I turned it into a pretzel!
(grinning)So who'd like to volunteer for my next trick?
25.
Beat.
STUDENT MOB(running off)
Yipe yipe yipe!
APPLE BLOOMWhew, thanks, sis!
APPLEJACK
(sternly)Now you stay put. I gotta go help Dash and Rarity at the gym.
(beat)We'll talk about your fightin' later.
APPLE BLOOM
(nervously)Eh-heh-heh.
PINKIE PIE
Fluttershy! The fire's over there!
FLUTTERSHY
I'm on it!(beat)
Mister Pigeon! Go!
MR. PIGEON(Pigeon noises)
PINKIE PIE
Ooohhh. Who knew that a flock of pigeons could carry so much water?
SUNSET SHIMMER
Fluttershy! Pinkie Pie!
PINKIE PIESunset!
PINKIE AND SUNSET
(Simultaneously)We've got a problem! Celestia has gone mad with power!
Beat.
26.
SUNSET SHIMMERWait, what?
PINKIE PIE
It's the worst possible thing! And I mean a REAL worst possible thing, not a Rarity "worst possible thing"! Princess Celestia cancelled graduation FOREVER!
APPLE BLOOM
I'm so sorry! It's my fault. She found out me and Diamond Tiara were fighting.
SUNSET SHIMMER
Don't blame yourself, Apple Bloom. I think there's a lot more than that going on here.
(to Pinkie)Pinkie! Where's Celestia?
PINKIE PIE
I don't know! We've all been busy dealing with the riots.
APPLE BLOOM
I saw her near her office! I can show ya where.
SUNSET SHIMMER
Alright. Apple Bloom, take me there. Pinkie, Fluttershy, get back to crowd control.
FLUTTERSHY
Um, but what if you need help?
SUNSET SHIMMERDon't worry about me! We need everyone we can get to protect the school.
PINKIE PIE
But Sunset!
27.
SUNSET SHIMMERNo buts!
(more quietly)She wouldn't be a problem if it wasn't for me. So it's up to me to fix it.
PINKIE PIE
(Whine of frustration) INT. CANTERLOT HIGH OFFICES - DAY
NARRATORA few minutes later!
SUNSET SHIMMER
Alright, we're in. Good job sneaking us past those angry students, Apple Bloom.
(beat)So how did you know which ventilation ducts led to the principal's office?
APPLE BLOOM
...Would you believe me if I told ya, Daring Do movies?
SUNSET SHIMMER
Heh. I'm pretty sure Daring never tried to infiltrate a-–
(gasps)LOOK OUT!
ADMINISTRATOR MARE
FACE YOUR DOOM, STUDENT RABBLE!
SUNSET AND A.B.Aaah! Administrator Mare!
SFX [from VAs]: FIGHT NOISES.
SUNSET SHIMMER(taking a blow)
Oof!
ADMINISTRATOR MAREHAH! Got you!
28.
APPLE BLOOMSunset!
ADMINISTRATOR MARE
Your turn, little girl!
APPLE BLOOMWhy you -– HIYYAAAAA!
ADMINISTRATOR MARE
(taking a blow)Oof!
SUNSET SHIMMER
(recovering)Ugh.
(surprised)Whoah. You knocked her out cold.
APPLE BLOOM
(uneasy laugh)Daring Do movies?
SUNSET SHIMMER
Not with moves like that.
APPLE BLOOM(guiltily)
...I've been sneaking out of the house to take karate classes. Please don't tell Applejack! She'd flip out.
SUNSET SHIMMER
(laughs)It's alright. Your secret's safe with me.
APPLE BLOOM
Fistbump?
SUNSET SHIMMERFistbump.
(beat)Now where's Princess Celestia?
APPLE BLOOM
In there.
SUNSET SHIMMERHmm. Locked.
29.
Beat.
APPLE BLOOMSo, *hypothetically*, if I opened the lock with some hairpins-–
SUNSET SHIMMER
I'm going to stop you right there.
Beat. REBECCA SHOICHET knocks on the table.
PRINCESS CELESTIA [NICOLE](in the distance)
Coming, Miss Mare.
APPLE BLOOMYeah, that's much simpler.
PRINCESS CELESTIA
How is the-–Oh! Sunset!(guiltily)
I'm sorry, I'm not QUITE ready for our trip. There's a few things to fix first.
SUNSET SHIMMER
That's why I'm here.(takes a breath)
Princess... you've got to let everyone graduate.
PRINCESS CELESTIA
But there's a PROBLEM! The biggest problem there is! They don't teach friendship here!
SUNSET SHIMMER
I know! But this isn't the way to do it.
PRINCESS CELESTIA
How can you say that, Sunset? Look at how much good Twilight Sparkle's school is doing! Are we supposed to ignore its example and just... leave THIS world to the mobs and the juvenile delinquents?
APPLE BLOOM
Hey! I'm not juvenile!
30.
With that, the conversation starts getting more heated.
SUNSET SHIMMER(insulted)
Excuse me? Is that all that humans are to you?
PRINCESS CELESTIA
Look outside, Sunset, and tell me what you see!
STUDENT MOB
(in the distance)Rabble rabble rabble!
SUNSET SHIMMER
I see good students upset at YOU not thinking about them!
PRINCESS CELESTIA
I'm doing this FOR them, because I'm not going to fail them like I failed with you!
APPLE BLOOM
'SCUSE ME! APPLE BLOOM'S outburst halts the argument for a moment.
APPLE BLOOM (CONT'D)(more quietly)
Do us "juveniles" get a say, Princess? Cause I'm pretty sure that if there's one friendship lesson I DO know, it's that you're supposed to solve problems TOGETHER.
PRINCESS CELESTIA
(surprised)I... well...
APPLE BLOOM
I learned THAT one from Sunset Shimmer. How she listened to us after she became a friend, instead of orderin' us around when she was a bully.
(pointedly)So which one are YOU here to be?
Beat.
31.
RAINBOW DASHWell, WE'RE here to be HEROES!
SUNSET SHIMMER
Rainbow Dash!
RARITYALL of us, darling. You didn't think your friends were going to abandon you, did you?
SUNSET SHIMMER
How did you get in here?
FLUTTERSHYUm. The door was open, and Miss Mare was knocked out.
SUNSET SHIMMER
Oh. Right.
RAINBOW DASH(Excited)
And now we can finally beat up the evil changeling taking over the school!
APPLEJACK
Seriously, Rainbow Dash? You're startin' to sound like Lyra and her Area 51 theories.
RAINBOW DASH
Hey. There's TOTALLY going to be a convention there next year.
SUNSET SHIMMER
Can we focus, please?(to CELESTIA)
Princess, none of us want to fight you, except maybe Rainbow Dash. But we use our magic to defend this world, so we will if we have to.
32.
PRINCESS CELESTIA(sighs)
No, I'm afraid Apple Bloom was right. I've been setting a poor example. Sharing wisdom with future generations is one of my greatest joys, and I may have gotten a little carried away.
RARITY
(aside)You think?
PRINCESS CELESTIA
I just don't want everything to end this soon. Is that so wrong?
PINKIE PIE
Well, *duh*. You can't make school last forever.
PRINCESS CELESTIA
But there's still so much left for everybody to learn!
PINKIE PIE
Silly human-shaped horse princess! I didn't say we were going to stop learning.
PRINCESS CELESTIA
Without school, who will be there to teach you?
PINKIE PIE
Hmmm.(beat)
Ooh! Ooh! I've got a super-spectacular idea. Why don't I teach Sunset! And Sunset can teach me! And so on... INTO FRIENDFINITY.
PRINCESS CELESTIA
Is "friendfinity" even a word?
PINKIE PIEIt is now, because I just used it! Ha, checkmate! And also maybe bingo! Possibly Yahtzee?
33.
SUNSET SHIMMERUh, Pinkie?
PINKIE PIE
I SUNK YOUR BATTLESHIP!
SUNSET SHIMMERI think what Pinkie Pie is saying is that we've all learned so much in this school. There've been a lot of laughs, a few tears...
FLUTTERSHY
And, um, a lot of scary people terrorizing the city with Equestrian magic. Those too.
SUNSET SHIMMER
I know! I was one, once! The point is, we've discovered a lot over these past few years. About life. About ourselves. The world outside these walls is full of opportunities to show off everything that we've learned here. But we can't do that unless you're willing to let us move on.
PRINCESS CELESTIA
Why would you WANT to move on? This, right here! It's the most special place there is!
Beat.
PINKIE PIE(aside, to audience)
Are we still talking about high school?
The V.A. NEXT TO ANDREA LIBMAN shushes her.
34.
SUNSET SHIMMERYou're right, this place is invaluable. It has meant so much to me for so long. It changed my life.
(smiles)But what MAKES it special are the memories we shared and the friendships we built. And that's something that we can do again, with old friends AND new friends, no matter where we go next.
PRINCESS CELESTIA
But... what if there's nothing else for ME out there? What if this was my last chance to make a difference?
SUNSET SHIMMER
I know it's scary moving on. There's nobody-–and nopony-–who can tell you what tomorrow will bring. But while we're figuring out where to go next... we'll always have the memories of the special times we had together.
FLUTTERSHY
And we'll have each other.
HUMANE FIVE(agreement noises)
SUNSET SHIMMER
Friendship is magic, Princess Celestia. It's the truest form of magic there is. And it's time for all of us to go share that magic with the world.
REBECCA SHOICHET holds a hand out to NICOLE OLIVER.
SUNSET SHIMMER (CONT'D)Together.
PRINCESS CELESTIA
(overcome)Oh, Sunset.
NICOLE lunges past REBECCA's outstretched hand to give her a hug. They hold each other for a beat.
35.
PRINCESS CELESTIA (CONT'D)You're right. And I think I've got something very important to do.
NICOLE picks up her microphone.
PRINCESS CELESTIA (CONT'D)Attention, students of Canterlot High. I just spoke with some very special students who helped me remember the most important friendship lesson of all. Their school must be special indeed if it has taught them so much.
(regally)Therefore! I, Princess Celestia-–
PINKIE PIE
(stage whisper)Principal!
PRINCESS CELESTIA
PRINCIPAL Celestia, hereby declare that Canterlot High has passed its friendship studies!
Beat. NICOLE sets down her microphone.
PINKIE PIEGRADUATION IS BACK ON!
EVERYONE
(CHEERS) INT. CANTERLOT HIGH GYMNASIUM - DAY
NARRATORA few hours later, inside the gymnasium at Canterlot-–
PINKIE PIE
(interrupting)HI!
NARRATOR
(startled yelp)Pinkie Pie?
36.
PINKIE PIEStop narrating while THERE'S PARTYING TO BE DONE!
NARRATOR
...Okay! PARTY WALLA. It's a SCENE OF CELEBRATION.
PINKIE PIEGRADUATION PARTY! WOO-HOO!
SUNSET SHIMMER
Wow. I've never seen the gym this packed.
APPLEJACK
It's smaller than it used to be.
RARITYWell, darling, that's what happens when one uses their superpower to rebuild it out of magical crystal.
FLUTTERSHY
It really does look lovely. But the extra light does raise the temperature. Don't you think, Rainbow Dash?
RAINBOW DASH
(smugly)Yeah, it IS a bit hot. It needs to be LESS hot. In fact, I'd say it needs to be about twe-–
EVERYONE
DON'T SAY IT. Beat.
RAINBOW DASHOh, c'mon! It's graduation! It's my very last chance!
PINKIE PIE
Oooh! If it's THAT special then you should share it with EVERYONE!
ANDREA LIBMAN gestures to the audience.
37.
RAINBOW DASHAlright, alright!
(To the audience)All together now! It needs to be about...
LITERALLY EVERYONE IN THE ROOM
"Twenty percent cooler."
PINKIE PIETHAT'S what I'm talking about!
Beat.
APPLE BLOOMDiamond Tiara!
DIAMOND TIARA
Apple Bloom. What do YOU want?
APPLE BLOOMI just...
(sighs)I came over to apologize. I was doin' some thinking about what the princess said.
DIAMOND TIARA
(interested)Wait, you know a princess?
APPLE BLOOM
The one who assigned us friendship studies.
DIAMOND TIARA
Oh. HER.
APPLE BLOOMYeah. Thing is, though, I know how much your mom pushes ya to get good grades for your college applications. An' I was thinking... maybe if a bunch of us got together and really DID start a "Friendship Studies" class that no other school in the world had, wouldn't colleges think it was awful cool?
DIAMOND TIARA
You'd do that for me?
38.
APPLE BLOOMWell, if you're sayin' my schooling's bad, that ain't personal, right? It's something we can team up to fix.
DIAMOND TIARA
...I'm listening.
SUNSET SHIMMERHeh. I don't think watching friendship solve problems is ever going to get old.
PRINCESS CELESTIA [NICOLE]
As somepony who is older than most, and somepony who does a lot more watching than most, I can absolutely confirm that.
SUNSET SHIMMER
Princess!
PRINCESS CELESTIA(subdued)
I hope you don't mind me sticking around after all the trouble I caused. I... didn't want to leave without saying goodbye.
SUNSET SHIMMER
Of course not! (hesitantly)
You know, I wonder sometimes what my life would have been like if I'd learned about friendship earlier. If I hadn't failed you.
PRINCESS CELESTIA
(firmly)You're no failure, my star pupil. You've brought the magic of friendship to a whole new world, and I couldn't imagine a better pony to spread it far and wide.
(smiling)I'm so proud of you, Sunset.
SUNSET SHIMMER
(choking up)I... can't tell you how much that means.
39.
REBECCA SHOICHET and NICOLE OLIVER hug again. EVERYONE ELSE cheers, applauds, or "Awwww"s.
FLUTTERSHYAwww. That's so sweet.
APPLEJACK
Yeah, reckon it is.(beat)
But I got the funniest feeling, like we're all forgettin' something.
Beat. Then a distant wailing gradually draws nearer.
SPIKEaaaaaaaa AAAAAAAAAA *AAAAAAA*! Princess Celestia! Sunset Shimmer! Thank goodness I found you!
SPIKE pauses to gasp for breath.
SUNSET SHIMMEROooohhhhh. Right.
PRINCESS CELESTIA
Is something wrong in Equestria, Spike?
SPIKE
The principal is refusing to set the sun until she can beat up ALL of Equestria's evil with it!
PRINCESS CELESTIA
What?!
SUNSET SHIMMERSpike, didn't you say you were going to get Princess Luna?
SPIKE
I did! She said-–(Luna voice)
"Tis about time"(regular voice)
And she JOINED IN!
PRINCESS CELESTIA...Oh dear.
40.
APPLEJACKI KNEW it was gonna be one of those days.
SUNSET SHIMMER
Well, girls, I for one am going to go through the portal and save the world I grew up in. Are you with me?
RAINBOW DASH
Heck yeah! I'm not gonna stop being a superhero just because high school is ending.
RARITY
A chance to BOTH do good AND shop another world's fashion boutiques? I suppose I could be talked into it.
PINKIE PIE
Ooh! Ooh! If I go, will I get to use the party cannon?
SUNSET SHIMMER
Against my better judgment, yes.
PINKIE PIEEeeeheheeehee!
APPLEJACK
I'm in. Somepony's gotta keep Dash from flyin' off into trouble.
FLUTTERSHY
Um, we really all should go, if it's our own principal causing all the trouble.
PRINCESS CELESTIA
Is there anything *I* can do to help?
Beat.
SUNSET SHIMMEROf course!
41.
HUMANE SIX(various agreement)
SUNSET SHIMMER
There ARE some things graduation changes, Princess. We're not students any more. And you're not a teacher any more.
(grins)But all that means is we get to solve this as friends.
PRINCESS CELESTIA
Now that's a change I can get used to.
THE END