academic administrators leadership series – managing conflict chris loschiavo, jd associate dean...
TRANSCRIPT
Academic Administrators
Leadership Series – Managing Conflict
Chris Loschiavo, JD Associate Dean of Students and Director of Student Conduct and
Conflict Resolution
Overview
• Tools for conflict resolution• Work through case studies
The PIN Model of Conflict
POSITIONS: What we state we want
INTERESTS: What we really want
NEEDS: What we must have
The PIN Model
Consider … Professor Smith and Professor Rollins were in your departmental staff meeting today. You sensed some tension in the air. Professor Rollins has been in charge of recruiting new graduate students to the department and Professor Smith, a newer professor to the University was put on the committee to work with Professor Rollins and the two don’t seem to be communicating very well. They begin to argue during the meeting about new strategies for recruitment.
Positions (Tip of the Iceberg) What we state we
want
“Listen to me.”
“My idea is a good one.”
“If you won’t take my suggestions, I want off the committee.”
Interests (Just under waterline)
What we really want
“I don’t want to waste my time.”
“I want my contributions to be valued.”
“I am an equal player in this department.”
Needs (Deep under surface)
What we must have
“I need to feel respected.”
“I need to know that my contributions are valued and that I am a valued member of this department.”
The role of Unmet needs in driving conflict
• All Violence/Anger Is An Expression Of An Unmet Need
• How Recognizing Interests/Needs Support Positive Outcomes (Empathy)
• CHAMPPP Universal NeedsTaken from "The Little Book of Dialogue for Difficult Subjects."
Schirch and Campt
Conflict Resolution Tools for YOU
Engaging in Healthy Dialogue
• Active & Reflective Listening• Being Attentive• Summarizing & Restating• Reframing• You / I Statements
Listening
Active Listening• Paying Attention• Listen with an open mind
Reflective Listening• Demonstrate Empathy• Signals understanding• Non-verbals: nodding, eye contact• Verbals: rephrasing and reframing
Attending
• BODY POSTURE• EYE CONTACT• NONVERBAL BEHAVIORS• PAYING ATTENTION• AVOID NERVOUS BEHAVIORS
Summarizing/Restating
• Ability to reflect information back to someone in your own words.
• Confirms to the speaker that you were listening to them
RestatingQuestion Prefaces:
• So you are saying that…• In other words…• It sounds like you...• I’ve heard you say that…
Summarizing/Restating
Example:Student #1: I am teaching six classes this semester and I don’t
have a lot of time.
Student #2:You are saying that you are very busy because of your
heavy course load.
Reframing• To reinterpret a statement or
comment into a problem-solving frame.
• Restate what is said• Remove negative language• Reframe the discussion from
positions to interests
Taken from "The Little Book of Dialogue for Difficult Subjects."
Schirch and Campt
ReframingUsing reframing to deescalate:
• Faculty #1: You’re a liar. You said you would give me the opportunity to run this clinical experience.
• Department Chair #2 :It sounds like you are angry because you felt you were promised the opportunity to teach this clinical experience
Taken from "The Little Book of Dialogue for Difficult Subjects."
Schirch and Campt
Reframe this statement
How would you reframe this to state an interest?
• “He’s a liar. Every time he promises to do something he has broken that promise. I can’t trust him.”
Reframe this statement
How would you reframe this to state an interest?
• “John is a jerk. He always disagrees with me. Every time I make a suggestion he criticizes it.”
Practice Active Listening and Reframing (content and feelings)
Active listening activity• Get with a partner. For 1 minute, one of
you describe a conflict that is going on in your department. The second person, should display poor active listening skills (interrupt and offer suggestions, don’t pay attention). Then we will switch.
• For 1 minute, the next person will describe a conflict in their department. The second person should be listening and should engage in active listening and reframing.
“I” vs “You” Statements
• Use "I" statements when describing the problem to avoid criticizing or placing blame.
• For instance, say “I feel angry when you interrupt what I am saying in our departmental staff meeting," instead of, “You are disrespectful of me!"
• To do otherwise will likely upset the other person and escalate tensions.
“I” vs “You” Statements
“You” statements tend to attack and/or place blame
• “You never show any concern for my feelings!”
“I” statements tend to have the speaker assume responsibility for her or his feelings.
• “I feel angry when you talk with Sally instead of listening to what I have to say in our staff meetings.”
“I” vs “You” Statements
How could you re-word this?
• “You really tick me off when you dominate conversations.”
Poisons in Communication
Some words and phrases are more likely to be perceived as rude, abrasive, or insulting, and make it easier for the listener to act in a defensive or retaliatory manner.
These are considered poisons in communication and offer a good opportunity for reframing or questioning.
Poisons in Communication
Commands
• You should…• You
shouldn’t…• You will…• You can’t… • You must…
Comparisons
•You’re just like…•You’re nothing like…•She would never…• If I were you I’d …
Poisons in Communication
Exaggerations
• Always • Never• Constantly• Everybody• Nobody• Six times =
two• Weeks =
days
Other Poisons•Shaming• Ignoring•Name-calling•Threatening•Blaming•Contempt•Anger
Anger
Anger is:• A physical or psychological defense
against something• A response to not getting what we
want• A response to our belief that we are
being violated in some way
Managing Anger• Check your own emotions and don’t
get angry• Acknowledge the anger (Validate)• Restate / Reframe• Questions• Take a Break• Move on to something else
Empathy
An unwavering presence that enables a deep and meaningful connection with another person.
Reflecting another’s feelings, interests and needs without any judgment or evaluation.
Taken from "The Little Book of Dialogue for Difficult Subjects."
Schirch and Campt
The ladder of inference
Taken from "The Little Book of Dialogue for Difficult Subjects."
Schirch and Campt
The Ladder of Inference
“An inference is a conclusion reached about something unknown on the basis of some things that are known.” -Roger Schwarz, The Skilled Facilitator: Practical Wisdom for Developing Effective Groups, p.86
Abstract Specific
CHECK YOUR INFERENCES TO SEE IF THEY ARE ACCURATE!!
Adapted from Roger Schwarz & Associates from The Skilled Facilitator Intensive Workshop Manual, p.29. Roger Schwarz is author of The Skilled Facilitator: Practical Wisdom for Developing Effective Groups. Published by Jossey-Bass, Inc., 1994
Attribute cause and/or motives
Infer meaning from
selected data: Paraphrase and assign “real” meaning
Select certain data
Directly observable data
She wants to keep the graduate and undergraduate programs completely separate She’s upset because she thinks I shouldn’t have invited so many graduate students “…I wonder why you chose to invite so many graduate students.” Supervisor: “Your presentation was good, but I wonder why you chose to invite so many graduate students.”
What power dynamics are present in your
department?– Silent brainstorming activity
Taken from "The Little Book of Dialogue for Difficult Subjects."
Schirch and Campt
Some dynamics to think about
• Department Chair and faculty• Tenured faculty and non-tenured• Adjuncts• Faculty and staff• Faculty and students• others/?
Taken from "The Little Book of Dialogue for Difficult Subjects."
Schirch and Campt
Scenarios
• You are the Department Chair and there is a conflict in your department regarding services provided by your administrative support staff. Some of your faculty feel as though one of their colleagues is monopolizing her time and they have come to you. They are angry because they feel as though they don’t have the same support as this other faculty member. What would you do?
Taken from "The Little Book of Dialogue for Difficult Subjects."
Schirch and Campt
Work through more role plays
Taken from "The Little Book of Dialogue for Difficult Subjects."
Schirch and Campt
Questions?
Contact us
• Associate Dean and Director: Chris Loschiavo [email protected]
• Associate Director: Laura Matthews: [email protected]
• Asst. Director: Matthew Scruggs [email protected]
• Asst. Director: Ashleigh Wade [email protected]
• Program Asst.: Keondra Brown [email protected]
• Graduate Assistants: Mick Early and Christine Natal
• Undergraduate Case Coordinators: Jasmin Tahirovic, Alexa Jacobson, Kaitlyn Hargrove
Taken from "The Little Book of Dialogue for Difficult Subjects."
Schirch and Campt