add value in your marriage

Tuesday, May 2, 2023 1

ADD VALUE IN YOUR marriage

Every time I come across couples, I pick one or two things about their marriages. Most couples are not comfortable in their marriages. There is a lot of mistrust in these marriages. There are ways that can be used to add values in these marriages. There is hope in the Marriage Institution.

Kigume Karuri

Tuesday, May 2, 2023 Kigume Karuri 2

• This week I have talked to two women who are on the verge of moving out of their marriages. The reasons given hold some water but I believe it is not the solution. We can add values on the areas in our marriages that bring lots of friction.


• God desires us to have fulfilling marriages. • Everything begins in the home, in the family.

Remember this truth: The things we treasure have value to us, and the things that have value, we treat with respect. The real secret to improving our marriages is learning to value our spouses.


• How do you value your spouses? You value your spouse in the way you treat him or her in the small things.

• Small things matter. Most times we ignore the small things. They accumulate in our emotional bank accounts and become big issues in the marriage.

• Don’t be ignorant. Work on those small things.


• In I Peter 3:7, the Bible tells us that a woman needs to be highly valued to operate properly. It says, “Husband, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.” She will never meet your needs or expectations unless she is highly valued.


• In Ephesians 5:25-28, God tells husbands to love and cherish their wives. This scripture says, “25. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26. that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word,


• 27. that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.”


• In Ephesians 5:22-24, God tells wives to respect and honor their husbands. It says, “22. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.”


• We should treat one another with love, care, and value, even when we do not see it.

• We can treat our spouses with respect, honor, decency, love, kindness, and tenderness, even when we do not see it. You see, we build and increase value. We do not increase value by trying to decrease others, by putting them down, or by being angry with them.


• What do you do when you see no value in your spouse? You must create value. Where you see no value or little value, you must create it. In creating value in your spouse, you must speak those things as though they are, even when they are not. Instead, most people just give up. They criticize what they do not like and end up devaluing their spouses instead of creating value.


Ways to increase value of our spouses

• We create value in the following ways: • 1. We speak value; • 2. We treat others with value; • 3. We acknowledge God’s value. • Let us look at it deeper.


• 1. In order to increase value, we speak value

• The most powerful way we can create value is to speak value. It is so important that we learn to speak the right thing.

• A. It is important in the home and family that we speak things that are beneficial, not harmful.


• B. We should speak things that build up family members, not tear them down. The Word tells us that the power of life and death is in the tongue. The tongue creates.

• Prov. 14:1 says, “A wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands.”


• C. Husbands and wives should never speak evil of one another. Even if they disagree, husbands and wives should still back each other up in front of the children.

• D. We should always speak words of encouragement, building up and increasing the value of the other person at all times and in all situations.


• Speaking value to other people makes them want to be a better person.


• E. A spouse may think he/she can criticize and condemn his/her spouse into being who he/she wants him/her to be. It will not work. All it will do is to drive the two farther away. It will decrease their value, and it will give them every reason to be friendly with someone who will speak positive words to them and about them.


• 2. Work on increasing value by treating your spouse with value.

• A. When you give value, or increase value, in the other person, then that person wants to be a better person.


• Philippians 2:3 says, “3. Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself.”


• B. We create value in our spouses by treating them with value. God’s way is to treat them as if they had more value than they actually do.

• In Ephesians 4:26b we are told not to “. . . let the sun go down on your wrath.”

• When we do not do this, we simply stop trying to do the things necessary to make a successful marriage. We feel that a wall has been built between us over time.


• C. We can treat our spouses with value by reassuring them that we are totally committed to them.

• D. We can increase the value of our relationships by building common interests that we can both be involved in. Both people in a marriage must work at this. When both parties in a marriage have things that they love doing together, then the marriage relationship increases in value.


• 3. We create greater value when we acknowledge the value that God has given to us.

• Every person should treat others with value because we are all created in God’s own image. God has placed great value on each of us, demonstrated by His willingness to sacrifice His life for us.


• A. We acknowledge our value by acknowledging the price that Jesus paid for our salvation. What kind of price was paid? It was the highest price possible. God sent his own Son to die on a cross for us so that we can be born again and have relationship with Him.


• B. You are fearfully and wonderfully made in God’s own image. In your mother’s womb, you had value. You have value today. People sometimes have no hope and want to give up, but the Word of God says that you are valuable. Every human being is valuable, has worth. That teaches me that I should treat everyone with value and decency and respect.


• C. We actually create value when we do it, and the more we do it, the more value we create for the other person.

• D. We grow in love with our spouse more and more as the years go by because we have invested so much value into the other person, and they, in turn, have invested so much value in us.


• Philippians 2:3 says, “Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself.”

• E. We must value others highly. This can easily be applied in the marriage. Many times the success of a marriage is dependent upon whether or not each spouse chooses to value the other highly.


• God’s plan is for us to live a life of increasing the value of other people, our spouse, our loved one, our friends.

• Begin creating greater value in your spouse and this increases your own value.

• You will never treat people with respect until you learn to live a life in which you are continuously increasing the value of other people.


• Begin creating greater value in your spouse and this increases your own value.

add value in your marriage

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