How I Got My Edge Back

After my life came to a screeching halt back in 2005, by way of a stage 3 breast cancer diagnosis, I realized that I’d never really fully lived. I was 35 years old, and all I can remember thinking was “I am way too young to die!” With 2 babies and lots of dreams, I still had much more to do, I wanted to participate in creating my family’s future. I was determined to fight this insidious disease with every ounce of energy I could muster.

“I used to think I was living my life, but until I planned my eulogy and the last words I’d say to my children, I realized I was merely existing.”

After going through chemo and recovery, I realized that my Maker had given me a second chance, an opportunity to embrace every day and to be so very thankful for just one more minute to hug the ones I love, and to make every second count. It gave me the opportunity to find my edge. It also made me ask myself a lot of questions: “Am I living my full potential? Do I enjoy each day? Do I live the lifestyle I want? Do I still have big dreams and goals? Do I want to grow personally? Do I want to leave a legacy for my family?” Heady questions, but well worth the effort to find the answers.

After being a business owner for over 24 years, working so hard under

very stressful situations, I realized that I was like most Moms; we rush! We rush at work, we rush at home, we rush the kids, we rush through errands…and there’s always so much more to do. We never have enough time and feel guilty if we take care of our own needs. We have amazing technology and incredible innovations that should make our lives easier and allow us the freedom to spend quality time with our loved ones, but somehow it falls short.

When I realized that stress played a big role in my getting cancer at such

a young age, I decided to hunker down and figure out a way to deal with whatever life threw my way, while letting me enjoy each day as it came – and I did! I came up with some tools I want to share with you. I want YOU to learn how to get the edge over stress, to be present with your loved ones and to become profitable on your journey. I know these tools have helped me tremendously, I hope they help you too!

“You can never count on tomorrow, but you can always live today like it

was your last.”

Stress and anxiety are a part of all our lives. So how do you deal with it? Most people don’t. Stress wreaks havoc on our bodies, if you continue tolerating it, stress will make you sick, just like it did me. I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy, but, what I learned through the healing process was invaluable for my personal growth, and for that, I’m grateful. There’s always a silver lining.

Research by the National Institute of Mental Health revealed that anxiety

disorders are the most common mental health illnesses, even surpassing depression. Women are affected almost twice as much as men, and it’s the number one mental health problem among this gender. Men are not unaffected though; anxiety disorders in males are second only to alcohol and drug abuse, and you have to wonder what led to those abuses in the first place.

One in every eight Americans between the age of 18 and 54 suffers from

an anxiety disorder. That’s over 19 million people!!!

Anxiety not only takes a toll on our health, but on our checkbooks as well, to the tune of $46.6 billion annually in the United States. Anxiety sufferers see an average of five doctors before being successfully diagnosed.

Stress and anxiety go hand in hand. One of the major symptoms of stress

is anxiety. And stress accounts for 80 percent of all illnesses either directly or indirectly.

Stress is more dangerous than originally thought. You probably already

know that it can raise your blood pressure, increasing the likelihood of a stroke, but recently it’s been claimed that 90 percent of visits to a primary care physician were because of stress-related disorders.

Health Psychology Magazine states that chronic stress can interfere with

the normal functions of the body’s immune system. Studies have proven that stressed individuals have an increased vulnerability to illness and are more susceptible to allergic, autoimmune or cardiovascular diseases. During chronic stress, the functions of the body deemed ‘non-essential to survival,’ (i.e., digestive and immune systems,) just shut down. Stress is making us very sick!

Furthermore, stress often prompts people to respond in unhealthy ways;

smoking, drugs, eating poorly, physical inactivity, etc. This damages not only the body, but the mind as well.

You can’t eradicate stress, but the tools I’ve discovered have helped me

manage the day-to-day stress, and I credit them for the fact that I’ve been a cancer survivor for over ten years now. After using a few of these techniques it changed the way I felt at the end of the day. This book is a combination of my own experiences and advice from experts. It will provide you with tools you can use when you’re in a state of stress.

I’ve also outlined different ways to approach debilitating anxiety and panic

attacks. Let’s reduce the effects of stress and anxiety in your life! Let’s start living every day like it’s our last! Let’s get the edge over stress!!

Before we begin, I want to tell you 3 simple things that have made a

profound difference in my life:

1. Take 20 minutes a day for quiet time

2. Journal 3 blessings a day.

3. Exercise at least 20 minutes a day.

WHY ARE WE SO STRESSED OUT?

We're living in very trying and difficult times. The things that are supposed

to make our lives easier, technology and all its advancements, have made some things far more complicated. How do some people manage to get through it easier than others? What’s their secret?

Society as a whole is more stressed. Millions of people are in record levels

of debt. Many are losing their jobs, their homes, their health, even their sanity. We also have the added pressure of witnessing everyone’s lives on social media, this tends to make us compare ourselves to others, never a good idea, and it certainly adds to our stress – worry, depression, anxiety and fear are rampant!

If it feels like we’ve entered the ‘Age of Anxiety,’ it’s because we have!

Time Magazine even proclaimed this in one of their issues, and books about dealing with anxiety often top the New York Times’ Best Sellers List. The constant stress and uncertainties of living in the 21st century has certainly taken its toll. The result is, many people are now living in a perpetual state of fear.

“Television, radio, social media. The 24/7 news cycle plows forward

mercilessly on our desks, in our cars and in our pockets. Thousands and thousands of messages and voices bombard us from the moment we wake,

fighting for our attention. All we see and hear, all day long, is news. And most of it is bad.” ~ Joseph Prince

After the 9/11 terrorist attacks this condition was magnified. In fact, even

now, years later, people report that they’re still scared every day. They worry that something of that magnitude will happen again. Turn on the news or open a newspaper and you’re bombarded with disturbing images and articles. It’s amazing how society would prefer to watch or hear about negative events over feel-good positive stories.

After watching enough TV you begin to wonder if you’re safe anywhere.

The information age is providing us access to endless data, 24/7, most of which is unsettling and depressing. However, it’s just as easy to push the power button ‘’off’ as it is to turn it on, we have a choice.

Cell phones, palm pilots, blackberries, iPods…we’re always on the go and

always reachable. There’s no downtime anymore. We’re so busy that we’ve forgotten how to relax. Our minds are constantly going over what needs to be done, and the list is endless, we take the time to charge the batteries in our devices, but not our own!

“’Blorft’ is an adjective I just made up that means ‘completely overwhelmed but proceeding as if everything is fine, and reacting to the stress

with the torpor of a possum.’ I have been blorft every day for the past seven years.” ~ Tina Fey

Women in the workplace have other crosses to bear, many feel they have

to be everything to everyone; a wage earner, housekeeper, mother, wife, nurse, friend, etc. Trying to cram everything in and doing it well is a huge cause of stress. Women are so busy trying to keep up, they don’t make time for themselves, and if they do, they feel agonizing guilt. This cycle is a losing one, and it’s driving stress levels to unprecedented highs.

Children are affected by their parents’ stress and anxiety. Teenagers who

want to go to college feel pressure to win scholarships to help pay for their education and lessen the load on their families. They’re also competing for part-time jobs to earn money for the little extras their parents can no longer afford. Add peer pressure, social media and hormones to the mix and you have a veritable pressure cooker!

We feel pressure because we think we HAVE to. It’s very difficult for

people, women in particular, to just say ‘NO.’ The inability to say that one little word results in unrealistic expectations and obligations which make us feel anxious. I learned years ago to always double check my YES option!.

Everybody experiences situations that cause stress or anxiety. The

reasons vary, but here are a few common triggers; buying a property, career demands, having houseguests, being bullied, exams, looking after children, managing finances, relationship issues, deaths, illnesses and traveling. Stress is a ‘normal’ function of everyday life. Only when it starts to take over your life does it become a problem.

Everyone reacts to stress differently. It’s usually when we don’t feel in

control of a situation that we feel its grip tightening around our necks. But you have everything you need inside of you, to overcome stress and anxiety. Regain that control and you lose the stress.

“Being in control of your life and having realistic expectations about your

day-to-day challenges are the keys to stress management, which is perhaps the most important ingredient to living a happy, healthy and rewarding life.” ~Marilu

Henner

Let’s take a look at the blocks we put up that prevent us from becoming happy, healthy and stress free:

BLOCKING BEHAVIORS: KEEPING YOUR STRESS ALIVE

There are three obsessive behaviors that impede the healing process and stop us from enjoying life. Recognizing these behaviors is the first step towards getting rid of the root problems that cause our stress:

The first is ‘Obsessive Negativity.’ When you’re obsessively negative you

have a tendency to see the worst in everything, you focus on what you don’t like about people, places, situations and things in your life.

If your internal voice is saying things like; “who do I think I am? I could

never accomplish that” or “Nobody could possibly understand what I’m going through.” Or “Nothing ever works out for me.” You’re reinforcing negative thoughts. You’re probably doing it unconsciously, so you need to tune in to that voice. Once you start noticing this inner dialogue, you’ll be surprised at how often you do it. This behavior could be holding you back from knowing what it’s like to view life from a positive lens and enjoying the beauty in yourself and others.

“When the negative thoughts come - and they will; they come to all of us -

it's not enough to just not dwell on it... You've got to replace it with a positive thought.” ~ Joel Osteen

The Second is ‘Obsessive Perfectionism.’ This has never been my

problem, but it’s a big one for some people. When you engage in obsessive perfectionism, you are fixated upon trying to do everything "just right" to the point of driving yourself into a state of anxiety. You may find yourself saying things like; “if I don’t get this right, I’ll be a failure.” Or “If I screw this up, everyone will be mad at me or won’t like me anymore.” Again, this behavior may be totally under the threshold of your awareness, but it interferes greatly with your ability to enjoy what you’re doing.

“Perfectionism is not a quest for the best. It is a pursuit of the worst in

ourselves, the part that tells us that nothing we do will ever be good enough.” ~ Julia Cameron

Finally, there is ‘Obsessive Analysis.’ When you’re obsessed with

analyzing things you find yourself wanting to re-hash a task, issue or conversation over and over again. For instance, you might get a text devoid of smiley faces, it could be trivial, like; "hi, did I leave my blue sweater at your house? I can’t find it anywhere.” And your mind goes into overdrive; ‘what the hell does she mean by that? Is she accusing me of stealing her stupid sweater? I don’t even like the ugly thing, how dare she accuse me of theft!” Or perhaps your boss says; ‘good work on that report, thanks for the extra effort.” Innocent

enough? The obsessive analyst doesn’t think so, ‘is he suggesting I don’t always do a good job? Did I screw up the last report? Why would he say extra effort?...’

While analytical thinking can be an excellent trait, if it’s done in excess you

never get to appreciate anything because you’re too busy over-thinking everything. Gaining insight into this behavior is one of the most important keys to letting go of stress, and obtaining complete power over your anxiety.

“The more you overthink the less you will understand.” ~ Habeeb Akande

If you identify with any of the above ‘Blocking Behaviors,’ there are two

things you can do to help yourself: First, ask the people you know, love and trust, the following questions:

“Do you find me to be a negative person?” “Do I complain a lot?” And “Am I difficult to be around?” The answers may be hard to hear, sometimes the truth hurts, but the knowledge you’ll gain from others’ assessment of you is priceless. You’ll know exactly how you present yourself to the world. Accept their comments as helpful information intended to help you grow. Thank them for their honesty.

Second, keep a journal, write down when you notice you’re using any

blocking behavior. Even if you’re not thrilled with the idea of writing, you can just jot down the place, time and circumstance into a notebook or an app on your phone. Eventually you’ll see a pattern emerge, this will give you an idea about what you’re doing to prevent yourself from overcoming your anxiety.

I’ll give you some great stress-busting techniques later in the book, but

first you need to recognize these blockages so you can move into the ‘healing’ stage.

STRESS OR ANXIETY?

Contrary to popular belief, there is a difference between stress and

anxiety. Stress comes from the pressure we feel when overwhelmed by work or anything that puts extreme pressure on us. Stress releases adrenaline, the prolonged presence of this hormone can cause depression, a rise in blood pressure, and other negative effects. One of those negative effects is anxiety. With anxiety, fear dominates all other emotions and fills us with worry and apprehension, this can make a person reclusive, irritable and full of jitters. Other symptoms include; chest pains, dizziness, shortness of breath and panic attacks.

Stress is caused by something happening in your life right now, anxiety is

stress that continues after that trigger is gone. Stress can come from any situation or thought that makes you feel frustrated, angry or nervous. What is stressful to one person is not necessarily stressful to another

Anxiety is the feeling of apprehension or fear and is almost always

accompanied by feelings of impending doom. The source of this unease is not always known or recognized, which can add to the stress you’re feeling.

Stress is the way our body and minds react to something that upsets our

balance, the response we feel when we’re frightened or overwhelmed. During stressful events the release of adrenaline activates our body’s defence mechanisms causing our hearts to pound, blood pressure to rise, muscles to tense and the pupils of our eyes to dilate.

A principal indication of heightened stress is an escalation in your pulse

rate; however, a normal pulse rate doesn't necessarily mean you aren't stressed. Constant aches and pains, palpitations, anxiety, chronic fatigue, crying, over or under- eating, frequent infections and a decrease in your sex drive are all indications that you might be under an inordinate amount of stress.

Of course our reaction to stress varies with each situation, we’re not

always under exorbitant stress every time we’re confronted with a stressful situation. We’ve managed to develop some coping skills through the years, we’ve had to.

Some people are more susceptible to stress than others. For some, even

simple, every day decisions seem insurmountable; deciding what to have for dinner or what to buy at the store can be a monumental dilemma. On the other hand, there are those people who seem to thrive under stress, driven by the force of it, they become highly productive individuals.

Research shows that women with children have higher levels of stress related hormones in their blood than women without children. Does that mean women without children don’t experience stress? Absolutely not! Sometimes, the fact that they don’t have children can be a cause of stress; everybody has that aunt or well-meaning neighbor who asks; “why don’t you have any children dear? You’re not getting any younger you know.”

For mothers it's particularly important to schedule time for themselves, it

puts them in a better frame of mind and gives them more patience when dealing with their children and meeting the daily challenges of being a parent.

Everybody experiences anxiety at one time or another; before an exam or

job interview, illness, moving…it’s normal to feel anxious when facing something difficult, dangerous or just time consuming. Mild anxiety can be a positive and beneficial tool. However, for many people, anxiety interferes with normal life, and excessive anxiety is often associated with other psychiatric conditions, like depression. Anxiety is considered abnormal when it’s prolonged or severe,

when it happens in the absence of a stressful event, or when it interferes with everyday activities like going to work.

The physical symptoms of anxiety are caused by the brain telling the body

to prepare for the ‘fight or flight’ response. Common indicators of excessive anxiety include:

• Diarrhea • Dry mouth • Rapid heartbeat or palpitations • Insomnia • Irritability or anger • Inability to concentrate • Fear of being ‘crazy’ • Loss of sense of identity, de-realization**

Anxiety can be brought on in many ways. Obviously, the presence of stress in your life can make you have anxious thoughts. Many people who suffer from anxiety disorders occupy their minds with excessive worry. This can be worry about anything from health matters to job problems to world issues.

Certain drugs, both recreational and medicinal, can also lead to symptoms of anxiety. Some of the more common drugs include; caffeine, alcohol, nicotine, cold remedies, decongestants, antihistamines, bronchodilators for asthma, tricyclic antidepressants, cocaine, amphetamines, diet pills, ADHD medications, thyroid medications – the list is endless.

Other Types of Anxiety

Performance anxiety is related to specific situations, like taking a test or making a presentation in public.

**Many people I talk to wonder what de-realization is like. They

have a hard time understanding it. Those of us who have panic attacks are all

too familiar with it. It’s like you can look at a solid object and see that it’s

there. You know it’s there, but a part of your mind doubts that it really IS

there.

You may find yourself reaching out to touch that object just to be

sure. You feel like you’re not a part of the world around you. It’s as if you’re

just a spectator in your own life with no control over anything around you. It’s

a horrible feeling.

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a stress disorder that develops after a traumatic event like; war, physical or sexual assault, or natural disaster.

In very rare cases, a tumor of the adrenal gland (pheochromocytoma) may be the cause of anxiety.

While anxiety may seem a bit scary, what’s even scarier is that excessive anxiety and stress can lead to depression. Suffering from depression can be a lifelong struggle, but the good news is; it’s ALL manageable!

QUIZ TIME!

Before you begin, you need to know that I’m not a medical professional. This information has come from reliable sources but is not meant to be a complete diagnostic tool by any means. These quizzes are simply guidelines to help you recognize any problems you might have and to help you effectively deal with them.

Because depression can be the most serious of our topics, let’s start by seeing if you may be depressed. Keep in mind that everyone has his or her “blue” days. The thing that separates clinical depression from simple melancholy is that the symptoms build over a period of time. They don’t come and go, they stay around for a while and can have an adverse, even debilitating effect on your life.

QUIZ #1 – ARE YOU SUFFERING FROM DEPRESSION?

Answer “yes” if you’ve been feeling this way consistently over a period of 2 weeks.

1. Are you constantly sad?

2. Are you unmotivated to do simple things, like shower, clean the house,

make dinner, etc?

3. Do people tell you you’re overly irritable?

4. Do you have trouble concentrating?

5. Do you feel isolated from family and friends even when they’re around

you?

6. Have you lost interest in your favorite activities?

7. Do you feel hopeless, worthless or guilty for no reason at all?

8. Are you always tired but have trouble sleeping?

9. Has your weight fluctuated significantly?

If you answered “Yes” to five or more of these questions you could be suffering from clinical depression. It’s important that you seek the help of a medical professional, whether that be a doctor or a therapist. There are many medications out there that can help with depression.

If you think you’re clinically depressed, ACT NOW! You deserve to be happy, whether you believe it or not.

QUIZ #2 – ARE YOU OVER STRESSED?

Answer “yes” if you’ve been feeling this way consistently over the past week.

1. Do you worry constantly and talk negatively to yourself?

2. Do you have difficulty concentrating?

3. Do you get mad and react easily?

4. Do you have recurring neck or headaches?

5. Do you grind your teeth?

6. Do you frequently feel overwhelmed, anxious or depressed?

7. Do you feed your stress with unhealthy habits such as eating or drinking

to excess, smoking, arguing, or avoiding yourself and life in other ways?

8. Do small pleasures fail to satisfy you?

9. Do you experience flashes of anger over minor problems?

If you answered “yes” to five or more of these questions you’re approaching the ‘danger zone.’ Your relationships may be strained and you may not be function at full capacity.

Let’s move on to anxiety.

QUIZ #3 – HOW HIGH IS YOUR LEVEL OF ANXIETY?

Answer “yes” to all that apply.

1. Do you experience shortness of breath, heart palpitations or shaking while

at rest?

2. Do you have a fear of losing control or going crazy?

3. Do you avoid social situations out of fear?

4. Do you have fears of specific objects?

5. Do you fear that you will be trapped in a place or situation from which you

can’t escape?

6. Do you fell afraid of leaving your house?

7. Do you have recurring thoughts or images that refuse to go away?

8. Do you feel compelled to perform certain activities repeatedly?

9. Do you persistently re-live an upsetting event from the past?

Answering “yes” to more than four of these questions can indicate an anxiety disorder.

Suffering from depression, too much stress, or excessive anxiety can

endanger your overall health and it’s time to take steps to overcome this – RIGHT NOW!

Stress and anxiety affects not only our mental state, but our body as well.

Cancer and other deadly diseases are related to stress and anxiety because of the changes in the chemical composition of our body.

Don’t be a victim of stress and anxiety. Discipline, a proper schedule and

knowing your limitations will help. Learn your limitations and live within them. Don’t over exert yourself needlessly, take it one step at a time.

You can have a productive, successful and fulfilling life and career without

endangering your health. Living with anxiety will slowly kill you while driving your family and friends away.

Stress and anxiety can lead to panic attacks, which can be a very serious

situation. Let’s explore that subject a little more.

PANIC ATTACKS

One of the unfortunate outcomes of suffering from excessive stress and anxiety is your body’s physical reaction to the situation. Let me give you an example; my husband is a CPA, for the last 3 years, right after tax season, we would find ourselves driving to emergency thinking he was having a heart attack. Each time it turned out to be a panic attack. I remember him saying over and over again, “Please God, not now. I’m not ready.” It was horrifying. The good news; he wasn’t dying. But this was the beginning of our understanding just how much stress had taken over his life, it had spread to his body.

Let’s look at the signs of an impending panic attack:

• Palpitations

• A pounding heart, or an accelerated heart rate

• Sweating

• Trembling or shaking

• Shortness of breath

• A choking sensation

• Chest pain or discomfort

• Nausea or stomach cramps

• De-realization (a feeling of unreality)

• Fear of losing control or going crazy

• Fear of dying

• Numbness or a tingling sensation in your face and limbs

• Chills or hot flashes

You’d be surprised how many people go to the emergency room convinced that they’re having a heart attack only to find out that it’s a panic attack. They’re just that intense! That’s what my husband experienced three times!

It’s hard for your loved ones to imagine or even understand what you’re going through when you have a panic attack. They may lose patience with you, tell you to “get over it”, or think you’re over-reacting. Try explaining it this way:

Imagine you’re standing in line at the grocery store. It’s been a long wait

but there’s only one customer ahead of you. Then that first symptom hits; the constriction in your throat, your chest gets tighter, then a sudden shortness of breath, and then comes the heart palpitations.

All you can think is “Oh please, God, not here.” You quickly scan your

surroundings - is it threatening? Four unfriendly faces are behind you and one in front. Pins and needles prick your left arm, you feel slightly dizzy and then the explosion of fear as you dread the worst. You’re about to have a panic attack and there’s no doubt in your mind that this is going to be a big one.

You say to yourself, “Okay, time for you to focus. You know how to deal

with this – at least you hope you do! You start breathing deeply - in through the nose, out through the mouth.

You remind yourself to think relaxing thoughts, while inhaling, you’re imagining breathing in peace, on the exhale you’re breathing out stress. But this time it doesn’t seem to be working, in fact, just concentrating on breathing is making you feel self-conscious and more uptight.

Maybe if you just tried to relax your muscles. Tense both shoulders, hold

for 10 seconds, then release. Try it again. Nope, still no difference. The anxiety is building and you can’t remember any more coping techniques, which of course adds to your panic. If only you were with a family member or close friend, then you could feel more confident handling this situation.

The adrenaline is pumping through your system; your body is tingling with

uncomfortable sensations. You feel like you’re losing complete control of your emotions. No one around you has any idea of the sheer terror you’re experiencing. For them, it’s just a regular day and another frustratingly slow line at the grocery store.

You realize you’re out of options. It’s time to run. You excuse yourself

from the line, embarrassed because it’s finally your turn to pay. The cashier looks bewildered when you leave your shopping cart full of items and stroll towards the door.

There’s no time for excuses - you need to get outta dodge. You leave the

supermarket and get into the safety of your car - you have to ride it out alone. You wonder whether or not this will be the big one, the one you fear will land you in the loony bin, the one that will destroy you both mentally and physically. You turn on the radio, thank God, one of your favorite songs is playing, you let yourself be engrossed by the music. Ten minutes later the panic subsides. It’s only 11:00 in the morning, how in the world can you make it through the rest of the day?

If you suffer from panic or anxiety attacks, the above scenario probably

sounds very familiar. It may have even induced feelings of anxiety and panic just reading it. In fact, it was difficult for me just to write it. I’m sure your loved ones will get it - sometimes we need to paint a picture. What’s important for them to realize is that the situations that trigger panic and anxiety may differ, but panic attacks are very real to the people who are having them, and they should never be idly dismissed.

I remember one evening at home while going through the chemo process,

I was by myself watching one of my favorite television programs. I thought I was in a safe place. I felt completely relaxed, when out of nowhere I began having the symptoms of a panic attack. The four walls of my living room were closing in around me. I couldn’t breathe, I felt like I was dying.

I stepped out onto my back porch for some fresh air and began deep breathing exercises while looking at the night sky. The symptoms eventually went away, but it left me wondering why I had that attack. There were no obvious reasons, no stressful situation, and no warning of an impending attack.

Sometimes your mind can play tricks on you. Even when you think

everything’s fine, your brain may be feeling differently. That’s the scary part. The good part is that there are ways you can combat panic attacks and cope much better when you find yourself in that situation.

“In my experience, the words “now just calm down” almost inevitably have the opposite effect on the person you are speaking to.” ~Elyn R. Saks

It’s up to you to calm yourself down and bring yourself back to the present, nobody can do it for you, often times, they just make it worse, no matter how well meaning. You know what they say about good intentions….’the road to hell is paved with them.’ Let’s now look at ways to deal with panic attacks, stress and anxiety.

DEALING WITH PANIC ATTACKS

If you have panic attacks it may be of some comfort to know that you’re not alone. You’re not even one in a million. In America, it is estimated that almost 5% of the population suffers from some form of anxiety disorder.

Some may have periodic panic attacks that only crop up in particular

situations - like when having to speak in front of others. For others it can be so frequent and debilitating that it prevents them from leaving their home. Frequent panic attacks often develop into “anxiety disorders.”

There are many ways of coping with an anxiety disorder. Some may not

work for you, but others just might. It helps to know some of the most common coping techniques for dealing with panic attacks at the onset, nip it in the bud so-to-speak.

Your first step is to recognize when a panic attack is about to strike.

When you’ve had enough of them, you recognize the symptoms; the tingling sensation, the shortness of breath and the disconnection from your environment. You know these are precursors to a full-on panic attack.

How do you stop it? What if I told you the trick to ending panic and anxiety attacks is to WANT to have one? That sounds strange, even contradictory, doesn’t it? But the ‘want’ really does help push it away.

Does this mean that you should be able to launch a panic attack on demand? Absolutely not! What it means is that when you’re afraid of something

- in this case a panic attack - it’ll more than likely strike and wreak havoc, because ‘what you resist-persists.’

Your mind is like a magnet, you attract into your life what you think about frequently. It doesn’t mean that every thought gets materialized. Most thoughts are weak and aren’t repeated long enough to gain enough strength or ‘drawing’ power. But, if you constantly harbor fearful thoughts, this negativity is drawn into your life. When you confront the attack, your chances of fending it off are much greater.

How do you stop resisting? One way is to move directly into it, into the path of the anxiety, by doing so it cannot persist.

So, if every day you seek to voluntarily instigate a panic attack, you can’t have one. Try this very moment to have a panic attack and I guarantee you can’t. You may not realize it, but you’ve always decided to panic.

Another way to appreciate this is to imagine having a panic attack. See yourself standing on top of a cliff. The anxiety seems to push you closer to the precipice and certain death. To be rid of the fear you must metaphorically jump. You must jump off the cliff, directly into the abyss of anxiety and fear. Your real safety is the fact that a panic attack will never harm you. That’s a medical fact.

Anxiety causes an imbalance in your life; all the mental worry creates a top-heavy sensation. All of your focus is moved from the center of your body to the head. Schools of meditation often like to demonstrate an example of this top-heavy imbalance by showing how easily the body can lose its sense of center.

The key to overcoming panic attacks is to relax. That’s easier said than done. Start by concentrating on your breathing, make sure it’s slow and steady. One of the first signs of a panic attack is difficulty breathing, and you may find yourself gasping to catch a breath. When you focus on making those breaths even, your heart rate will slow down and the panic will subside.

Breathing slowly and deeply has a calming effect. Try letting all the air out of your lungs on the exhale. This forces your lungs to reach for a deeper breath next time. Continue to focus on your exhale, and soon you'll find your breathing is deeper and you feel more relaxed.

Ideally, you want to take the focus off the fact that you’re about to have a panic attack. Try to press your feet, one at a time, into the ground. Feel how connected and rooted they are to Mother Earth.

Another option is to lie down, place your feet against a wall (your knees are bent) and press your feet, one at a time, into the wall. Breathe in as you press your foot against the wall, and breathe out as you release it, alternating feet. Do this for 10 - 15 minutes or until the panic wanes.

Use all of your senses to fully notice what you see, hear, feel, and smell in your environment. This will help you remain present. Panic is generally associated with remembering upsetting events from the past or anticipating something upsetting in the future.

Anything that helps keep you focused on the present is what you’re reaching for. If you have one, hold a pet; look around your room and notice the colors, textures, and shapes; listen closely to the sounds you hear, smell the smells and identify them, if you can.

Many people strongly advocate aromatherapy to deal with panic and anxiety. Lavender can lower the heart rate and blood pressure, leaving you in a more relaxed state. You can find lavender essential oil at many stores. Keep it handy and take a sniff when you start feeling anxious.

Or try putting a few drops of lavender oil into a carrier oil (olive, sunflower or grape seed will do) and rub some on your body. Keep a prepared mixture in a dark glass bottle handy. You can prepare several bottles and carry a small one with you.

Other essential oils known to help panic and panic attacks are helichrysum, frankincense, and marjoram. Smell each of them and use the one that smells best to you, or make a combination of your favorite oils by putting a few drops of each into a carrier oil.

You may want to prepare yourself BEFORE a panic attack happens. When you're not in a panicked state, make a list of things you're afraid will happen. Then write out affirmations that oppose your fears. You can then repeat these affirmations to yourself at the onset of panic .

Also, make a list of things you can do in case of an attack so it’ll be ready when you need it. Panic attacks can be a very scary thing to go through, especially if you're alone. Preparing for it can help diminish the intensity, and sometimes even help prevent it.

Here are a few techniques you can try at the onset of an attack:

VISUALIZATION

The purpose of visualization is to redirect your thoughts and take the focus off the causes of mental stress, tension, and anxious thinking. Visualizations are particularly useful when your mind starts running on that hamster wheel of angst and agitation.

This visualization process, when practiced frequently, is very effective for

eliminating deep-seated mental anxieties or intrusive thoughts. To gain maximum benefit, the exercise must be carried out for longer than 10 minutes at a time, anything shorter will not bring noticeable results.

There’s no right or wrong way to perform a visualization. Be intuitive with it and don’t feel you’re unable to carry it out if you’re not very good at conjuring mental imagery. As long as your attention is on the exercise, and your intention is set to manifest peacefulness, you will gain benefit.

It’s best to do this exercise in a quiet place where you won’t be disturbed,

when you’re more practiced you’ll be able to get the same positive results in a busier environment, like the workplace.

To begin, either sitting or standing, close your eyes and move your

attention to your breath. Become aware of your breathing, place one hand on your upper chest and one on your stomach. Inhale deeply and feel your chest and lungs expand as you do. When exhaling, feel your stomach swell and your chest recede as the air gently empties your lungs. Take the same depth of breath each time and try to get a steady rhythm going. Your hands should have little or no movement. This is called Diaphragmatic Breathing.

When you feel comfortable with this technique, try to slow your breathing

rate down by instituting a short pause after you’ve exhaled and before you inhale again. Initially, it may feel as though you’re not getting enough air, but with regular practice the slower rate will soon start to feel comfortable.

It’s often helpful to develop a cycle where you count to three after you

inhale and exhale. Breathe in, fill your lungs to capacity, pause, count to three, then exhale slowly, completely emptying your lungs – pause again, count to three (or 2, or 4— whatever is comfortable for you) and repeat the process. While you’re focused on your breathing you’re preventing any other thoughts from gaining access to your mind.

If you’re aware of other thoughts trying to get in, just acknowledge them,

and let them drift away, then bring your attention back to your breathing. Continue doing this for a few minutes. If you do this often enough, you’ll begin to strengthen the Diaphragmatic Muscle, and it’ll start working effortlessly.

Next, move your attention to your feet. Try to really feel your feet. See if

you can feel each toe. Picture the base of your feet and visualize roots growing through your soles down into the earth. The roots are growing with a quickening pace and are reaching deep into the earth’s core. You’re now rooted firmly to earth and should feel as stable as a large oak or redwood tree.

Stay with this feeling for a few moments. Once you’ve created a strong

feeling or impression of being firmly grounded, visualize a cloud of bright light forming way above you. A bolt of lightning from this luminous cloud hits the crown of your head and ignites a band of bright white light which then descends slowly from your head all the way down your body, and out through your toes.

As the band of light passes over you, feel it clear and purify your whole system. It illuminates your mind and clears any disturbing or stressful thoughts.

When you’ve cleared everything from head to toe, see yourself standing

under a large, luminescent waterfall. The water is radiant and bubbling with vitality and life force. As you stand under the waterfall, feel the water run over every inch of your body, soothing you and instilling a sense of deep calm.

Try to taste the water. Open your mouth and let it run over your tongue,

refreshing you. Hear it as it hits your body and the ground around you. The water is life itself and it’s washing away stress and worry. Try using all of your senses when conducting this visualization, make the pictures in your mind as real as possible, use your senses of touch, taste, smell and hearing.

Feel the water trickle down your body; hear the sound it makes as it

splashes over you. Smell the fresh, crisp air between each drop, bask in this rejuvenating, cleansing state of being. Stay in this place until you feel completely enveloped by the sensations. When you’re done, open your eyes slowly and come back to the room.

The more realistic the imagery, the more effective the results. Many

people report a long-term sense of peace and tranquility after using this simple visualization technique frequently.

You can use any situation or location that will help calm you. You’ve

heard of “finding your happy place?” Maybe you feel relaxed in a meadow or on a beach. Imagine yourself there. Just make sure this is a place that makes you feel calm and rested.

By visualizing different situations you’re allowing your mind to release. Set

the intention that once you close your eyes, it’s time to let go of anything it’s been holding onto, especially anxious thoughts.

In order to train your mind to let go of stress, it’s important to do this daily.

With practice, you can learn to release all stress within minutes of starting the exercise. Your daily practice should take place before going to bed, as that’ll enable you to sleep more soundly. I’ve always kept a notepad and pen next to my bed, when there’s something on my mind, I write it down and put it away saying ‘you’ll still be there tomorrow, I will deal with you then.’ This often take the pressure off and allows for an effective visualization and peaceful night’s sleep.

You may not want to do the visualization in your bedroom, preferring to

keep that room associated with sleep only, that’s fine, just be sure the room in which you do your visualizations provides you the opportunity to totally concentrate on your mental imagery.

This technique probably won’t work while in mid-anxiety attack, but it can help prevent that attack from happening in the first place. It’s a very powerful support tool for ridding yourself of general anxiety.

“When you connect to the silence within you, that’s when you can make

sense of the disturbance around you.” ~ Stephen Richards

Now let’s look at other ways to combat and manage excessive stress

STRESS MANAGEMENT

We know that stress is a part of life and there’s no getting around it. But, some stress is good stress. It can motivate you to do things you wouldn’t otherwise do. Stress can make you brave enough to go forward when you’d usually hesitate.

You have to be resilient to effectively cope with stress and help it enhance

your life instead of control it. How do you get strong and resilient? By learning how to take control of your stress and make it work FOR you instead of AGAINST you.

Recognizing stress symptoms can compel us to action – and the sooner

the better. It's not always easy to discern why you have stress in any given situation, but some of the more common events are; the death of a loved one, the birth of a child, a job interview, a new move... We experience stress when we make changes in our lives. Your body is asking for your help, when you feel stress, heed the call!

There are three major approaches to managing stress. The first is the

action-oriented approach. In this method, the problems that cause stress are identified and necessary changes are made to alleviate them.

The next approach is emotionally-oriented, where you overcome stress by

giving it a different color. The situation is seen humorously or from a different angle. Sometimes a change of perspective can teach you to see the humor instead of the doom.

The third is the acceptance-oriented approach. This approach focuses on

surviving the stress caused by a problem in the past. Nobody understands your problems better than you, if you can identify the

root cause and your feelings about it, you can change it. If it’s so intense you feel you’re going to collapse, take a deep breath and count to ten. This pumps extra oxygen into your system and rejuvenates the entire body. Or, meditate for a

moment and pull out of the current situation for a bit. Stand up and walk around. Stretch your muscles. Soon you’ll find that the stress has abated.

“You can’t solve a problem from the same place it was created.” ~Albert Einstein

Though relaxation is the best medicine for stress, smiling is another good

one. If you’re at work, just stand up and smile at the colleague in the far corner. You’ll see a change in your mood, maybe theirs too?

USING MUSIC TO BEAT STRESS

Music is a very powerful form of therapy. I love listening to music, most

people do. Everyone has different tastes in music. If you sit down and force yourself to listen to relaxation music that doesn’t appeal to you, it may create stress, not alleviate it.

The entire human energetic system is highly influenced by sound and

vibration, the physical body and charka centers respond specifically to certain tones and frequencies. The positive effects on the one actually playing or creating the music has been recorded since the beginning of time. When we hear a tune that resonates with us, we unconsciously start breathing more deeply. The body's production of serotonin also accelerates.

Playing music in the background while you’re working has been found to

reduce stress in the workplace. Music was found to reduce heart rates and to promote higher body temperature - an indication of the onset of relaxation. Combining music with relaxation therapy is far more effective than doing relaxation therapy alone.

Many experts suggest that it’s the rhythm of the music, or the beat, that

has the calming effect on us, although we may not be aware of it. When in our mother's womb we were influenced by her heartbeat. Subconsciously we recognize and respond to music at later stages in life, perhaps associating it with the safety of our Mother’s womb.

Music can also be nerve-wracking. Choosing what will work for any

individual is difficult, most will choose something they 'like' instead of what might be beneficial.

After extensive research on what music produces in the physiological

response system, many unexpected things were discovered; a lot of the ‘meditation and relaxation’ recordings found in New Age shops actually produced adverse EEG patterns.

Many selections of Celtic, Native American and other music containing loud drums or flutes were extremely soothing. Live music, even at moderately loud volumes also evoke a very favorable response.

As we mentioned before, no single music is a good fit for everyone. Taste

is subjective. It’s important that you like the music being played. I recently picked up a ‘rest and relaxation’ CD that’s worked wonders for me. It has ocean waves in the background while beautiful piano music plays on top. I find this very soothing.

It’s not a good idea to play ballads or songs that remind you of a sad time

in your life while trying to de-stress. The goal is to relax and wash away the anxious thoughts, the last thing you need is a sad song bringing back unhappy memories.

Here are some suggestions to reap maximum rewards:

• Try taking a 20-minute "sound bath." Put some relaxing music on, lie in a

comfortable position on a couch or on the floor near the speakers. For a deeper experience, wear headphones to eliminate ambient noise, so you can be free of distraction.

• Choose music with a slow rhythm - slower than the natural heartbeat, which is about 72 beats per minute. Music that has repeating or cyclical patterns is found to be effective for most people.

• As the music plays, allow it to wash over you, rinsing off the stress of the day. Focus on your breathing, let it deepen, slow and become regular. Concentrate on the silence between the notes in the music; this keeps you from analyzing the lyrics and makes relaxation more complete. Feel the vibrations pulse throughout your body.

• Alternatively, If you need stimulation after a hard day at work, go for a faster tempo, turn up the volume and DANCE! It doesn’t matter if you can’t actually dance. Just move along with the music and do what feels good. You’ll be delighted with the sense of release!

• When the going gets tough, go for music you’re familiar with; maybe a childhood favorite or music from a particular era. Familiarity often breeds comfort.

• Take walks with your favorite music playing on your IPod or MP3 Player. Walk in time with the beat of the music. Let the music absorb you. Combining exercise, imagery and music is a fantastic stress reliever.

• Listening to the sounds of nature, like ocean waves or the calm of a deep forest, can reduce stress. Try taking a 15 to 20 minute walk if you're near the seashore or a quiet patch of woods. If not, you can buy recordings of these sounds in many music stores and online.

SELF-HYPNOSIS FOR STRESS

There are lots of different ways to experience hypnosis. Though no two people will have the exact same experience, everyone will find the hypnotic state pleasant. There are no "bad trips" in hypnosis. Self-hypnosis is a skill, the more you practice it, the better you’ll become and the more powerful the experience.

One of the first hurdles a beginner must get over is the compulsion to

‘watch for it.’ Watching for hypnosis will definitely get in your way. Going into a hypnotic state is similar to going to sleep. ‘Watching’ keeps you awake, just like it prevents a pot from boiling.

Later, after you’ve been practicing regularly for a few weeks or a month or

two, you'll be much more familiar with the process and how it feels to be hypnotized.

Does it take everyone weeks or even months to get into a good hypnotic

state? Definitely not. Some people have an amazing experience the very first time they try it. Others might practice for several days, noticing nothing, and then suddenly have one of those great sessions where they know something stupendously good happened. But if you‘re not one of those people, don't worry about it. Just keep practicing and you will eventually get there.

In order for self-hypnosis to work successfully it’s important to approach

the process with an open mind. To do this you need to:

• Want to be hypnotized • Not be skeptical • Not be frightened of being hypnotized • Not over-analyze the processes involved

You also need to think about what messages you want to give yourself –

what ideas you want to plant into your subconscious. Work on some short statements that you’re going to use when you reach a hypnotic state.

These statements need to be:

• Genuine and honest – you won’t be successful planting anything you really don’t want into your subconscious.

• Positive – your statements need to be of a positive nature.

• Simple – your statements need to be very straightforward no more than a few words.

• Remember these statements are messages to your own subconscious – start the statement with the word “I,” and always prepare your statements as present-tense facts. Concentrate on one or two statements to start with and commit them to memory.

Allow yourself between 10 and 30 minutes of uninterrupted time. If possible, practice during the best part of your day, a time when you’re least likely to be disturbed by others.

Most people find it best to practice lying down in a comfortable position. If

you’re bothered by noise while practicing, try blocking it out with some other source of sound. Perhaps play music in the background, or white noise if you like. If you don't have a white noise generator, you can tune a radio receiver between stations, the static sound is similar to white noise. However, this takes an older or cheaper FM receiver without a noise suppressor, or try an AM tuner, whatever works. This should just be in the background and not too loud to be distracting.

This Self-Hypnosis Technique Consists of 12 Steps

1. To start the process you need to feel physically relaxed and comfortable. Use

one of the relaxing techniques provided in this book 2. Find an object that you can focus your vision and attention on – ideally this

object will involve you looking slightly upwards on the wall or ceiling in front of you.

3. Clear your mind of all thoughts and just focus on your object. This is obviously

quite hard to achieve but take your time, go back to your breathing. 4. Become aware of your eyes, think about your eyelids becoming heavy and

slowly closing. Focus on your breathing as your eyes close, breathe deeply and evenly.

5. Tell yourself that you will relax more every time you exhale. Slow your breathing

and let yourself relax deeper and deeper with every breath. 6. Use your mind’s eye to visualize a gentle up and down or sideways movement of

an object. Perhaps the hand of a metronome or a pendulum – anything that has a regular, slow and steady swing. Watch the item sway backwards and forwards or up and down in your mind’s eye.

7. Softly, slowly and monotonously count down from ten in your head, saying I am

relaxing after each number. ’10: I am relaxing’… ‘9: I am relaxing’ etc.

8. Believe and remind yourself that when you finish counting down you will have reached your hypnotic state.

9. When you’ve reached your hypnotic state it’s time to focus on the personal

statements you prepared. Focus on each statement – visualize it in your mind’s eye, repeat it in your thoughts. Stay relaxed and focused.

10. Relax and clear your mind once more before bringing yourself out of your

hypnotic state. 11. Slowly but increasingly energetically count up to 10. Reverse the process you

used before when you counted down into your hypnotic state. Use some positive message between each number, as you count. ‘1, when I awake I will feel fully refreshed’ … etc.

12. When you reach 10 you will feel fully awake and revived! Slowly bring your conscious mind back into the room A few tips: The speed with which you count down should be natural; not

too fast, not too slow. For most people this means counting at a rate of about one count for each two or three seconds. (i.e.; “one Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi…) do it at a rate that feels comfortable to you.

Generally speaking, the most effective kind of suggestion is imagery. This

way you don’t have to remember your suggestions, just see yourself in a calm, relaxed state while in the middle of a chaotic situation, the calm in the center of the storm - actually see this in your mind’s eye.

Although people sometimes realize immediate results from their

suggestions, it’s more likely to take a little time for them to kick in. So don't be impatient. On the other hand, if you’ve not begun to see any results within, say, a couple of weeks, you need to change your suggestions.

You should formally identify the end of every session. By doing this you

provide a clear boundary between the hypnotic state and your ordinary conscious awareness. A clear termination also prevents your self-hypnosis session from turning into a nap. If you want to take a nap, take a nap. But don't do it in a way that sleeping becomes associated with self-hypnosis.

If you’re practicing at bedtime and don't care if you go on to sleep, that’s

okay. But still draw the line in your mind to indicate the end of your session. Self-hypnosis can work wonders when it’s practiced on a regular basis.

You’d be amazingly surprised at the level of relaxation you can achieve.

“Hypnosis is the epitome of mind-body medicine. It can enable the mind to tell the body how to react, and modify the messages that the body sends to the

mind.” ~ New York Times

JUST SAY NO!

A huge contributor to high stress is lacking the ability to say “No”. Maybe your Mother asks you to pick up a few things at the store, after all, it’s on your way, but you’re in the middle of a big work project, and when you leave the office, you don’t want to go anywhere but home. Perhaps your best friend asks if you wouldn’t mind babysitting her kids when you’ve already made plans to get a haircut.

There’s no reason why you have to say “Yes” to everyone. In fact, there

are more reasons to turn them down. If you find yourself agreeing to do things when you really don’t want to, you’re being a people pleaser. Sounds like a nice thing to be, but it is a huge stressor.

People pleasers put other people’s needs before their own. They worry

about what other people want, think, or need, and spend a lot of time accommodating their needs. They rarely do things for themselves and feel guilty when they do. Being a people-pleaser is hard work and not very gratifying in the end.

People pleasers often refrain from saying what they really think. They don’t ask for the things they need if they think it would put someone out. Yet they often spend time with people who don’t consider their needs at all. In fact, people pleasers feel driven to make insensitive or unhappy people feel better - even to their own detriment.

Constantly trying to please other people is draining, and many people

pleasers feel anxious, worried, unhappy, and tired a lot of the time. They may not understand why no one does anything for them, but they never ask for what they need.

A people pleaser may believe that if they have to ask someone for help

that person would be giving out of a sense of obligation, not because they really wanted to. They can’t help thinking; ‘if they really wanted to help, they’d have offered without my having to ask.’

This line of thinking happens because people pleasers don’t always do

things because they want to, it’s often out of a sense of obligation. Sadly, people pleasers believe that their worth depends on how much they do things for others.

When they do take a moment for themselves, they feel selfish, indulgent,

and guilty. Since people pleasers accomplish so much and are easy to get along

with, they’re often the first to be asked to do things – they’re extremely vulnerable to being taken advantage of.

People pleasers were most likely raised in homes where their needs and

feelings were not valued, respected, or considered important. As children they were often expected to prioritize other people’s needs. Or they may have been silenced, neglected, or otherwise abused, leading them to believe their feelings and needs didn’t matter.

Most women have at least some degree of people pleasing in them. Men

who identified with their mothers often do as well. But it is possible to change this pattern, let’s start now!

First, practice saying NO. This is a very important word! Say it as often as

you can just to hear the word come out of your mouth. Say it out loud when you’re alone. Practice phrases with NO in them, such as, "No, I can’t do that" or "No, I don’t want to go there.” Try it for simple things first, and then build your way up to harder situations.

Second, inject a pause before you feel yourself about to say YES. You

may want to answer requests with "I need to think about it first, I’ll get back to you" or "Let me check my schedule and call you back". Use any phrase you feel comfortable with as long as it gives you time to think before automatically responding with a YES.

Oh, you’ll feel guilty when you start this, but that won’t always be the case.

Remember that your mental health is well worth the aggravation you may have to take from others. What’s important is you!

Figure out what gives you pleasure. Do you like reading magazines,

watching videos, going to a park, or listening to music? Give yourself permission to do those things and then enjoy them.

Ask someone to help you with something. I know this is a hard one but

you can do it! After all, everyone else is asking YOU for favors. Be tolerant if they turn you down. Just because you‘ve always said “Yes” doesn’t mean they’ll respond in kind.

Many people pleasers believe that nobody will like them if they stop doing

things for them. If that’s the case, then you were being used and you’re better off not having those people in your life anyway.

People enjoy your company for who you are and not for what you do for

them. You deserve to take time for yourself, to say NO, and to do something that brings you pleasure without feeling guilty. It’s within your reach to change - one small step at a time!

TAKE A BREAK

We know when we need a break. That break might be a full-fledged

vacation, a weekend getaway or just a walk around the block. Either way, getting out of the daily grind can be amazingly liberating and a huge way to get rid of stress and anxiety.

Unfortunately, a lot of us think we can’t take the time off. This is toxic

thinking. Get out and get away! I learned the hard way. How many times have you continued working, knowing that you weren’t

accomplishing anything? How many times have you read or written the same sentence over and over again, as your mind keeps wandering and thinking about other things? How often have you wanted to take a break from the family or kids but feared the consequences? It’s time for a break!

Why do we not allow ourselves a ‘time out?’ Perhaps we feel like we don’t

deserve it or that there’s just too much to do. There are many genuinely good reasons for completing jobs and tasks; however there may also be, on occasion, less than ‘dutiful’ reasons why we ‘can’t’ stop for a break.

Ego - some people enjoy boasting about how late they had to work in

order to ‘complete a project that only they could do’ or how much effort they invested ‘because nobody else was pulling their weight.’ This type of person solicits praise or recognition anywhere they can get it, they have hungry egos to feed.

Fear – some people are deathly afraid that if they take time off their

bosses would realize the sky didn’t fall during their absence, so they may come back to find out they’re unemployed – after all, aren’t the brass always talking about cut backs?

On the brink of burnout: "I can’t stop; I just have to get this one thing

finished." Which inevitably leads to "Well, it’s not really finished until I do this one more thing….” and the dominos keep falling, rendering it impossible to EVER find time for a break.

A mother managing the household, kids and other chores may feel as if

everything would collapse if she were to put her feet up or take a weekend off. This may be true, but it won’t happen because she’s taken a time out for herself.

Get rid of that thinking! You can get some amazing benefits just by taking

a little time for yourself. Allowing your mind and/or body to rest can help re-focus your attention, sharpen your wits and increase motivation and productivity. In

addition, taking time out helps relieve stress, promotes the recovery of tired muscles and also introduces the concept that there’s more to life than just work.

Many athletes will tell you that an important part of their training routine is

rest. Muscles need time to repair after a workout. Remember that your brain is a muscle too. It needs time to rest and recuperate in order to perform at peak capacity.

By giving your brain time off, you’ll be able to concentrate better. Tasks

that you once struggled with will be easier. A break can be anything from a 10-minute meditation session, to a trip around the world, and anything in-between. A break needs to take your mind off the tedium of everyday life.

If you’re feeling tired, unmotivated or just in need of a rest, don’t be a

martyr or look at this from a negative point of view. You may actually find that in reality, allowing yourself a break will ultimately help you become more efficient and effective in all aspects of your life. Plus you’ll get the badly needed recharging of your “batteries” you so richly deserve!

When you take this rest, you absolutely cannot feel guilty about it. You

need this time, so enjoy it. You’ll be a better mother, father, wife/husband, employee/boss for it.

Work is generally one of the most stressful places to be. You might think

that none of these techniques can help you when you’re around your co-workers. You could not be more wrong.

“Your calm mind is the ultimate weapon against your challenges – so relax.”

~Bryant McGill Some of the suggestions in this book can certainly be practiced at work.

Here’s a tried and true method to help you relax in the workplace: You don’t need your own private office to do any of this, (if you have to

stand at work, you might have to wait until break-time to find a chair.) Sit up straight with your spine against the back of the chair, your feet flat on the floor, and your hands resting lightly on your thighs.

If possible, close your eyes. You may do the exercise without closing your

eyes, but closing your eyes will help you relax a bit more. Don’t squeeze your eyes shut. Let your eyelids fall naturally.

Breathe in slowly through your nose, counting to 5. Hold the breath for

another count of 5. Breathe out slowly, counting to five. Repeat.

You’re going to do the 5 second count on every inhale, then hold your breath for 5 seconds while tensing a muscle group as hard as you can without hurting yourself, and do the 5 second count again on every exhale.

Here are the different muscle groups:

• Start with your feet. Do this by lifting your feet with your toes pointing

toward you while you keep your heels on the floor. To release, let your feet fall gently back onto the floor. Feel the relaxation.

• Then move up to your thigh muscles, tense them as hard as you can.

• Next, tense your abdominal muscles, make sure you’re always sitting up straight.

• Now tense your arm and hand muscles by squeezing your hands into fists as hard as you can.

• Move up to your upper back, push your shoulders back as if you are trying to touch your shoulder blades together.

• Tense your shoulders by raising them toward your ears as if shrugging and hold.

• Now for your neck, gently move your head back (as if looking at the ceiling) and hold for 5. Then gently drop your head forward, chin towards chest and hold.

• Finally, tighten your face muscles. First open your mouth wide and hold. Then raise your eye brows up high and hold. Lastly, clench your eyes tightly shut and hold for 5. Relax (with eyes gently closed) for 5.

• Finish the exercise with breathing. Breathe in slowly through your nose, counting to 5. Hold the breath for a count of 5. Breathe out slowly, counting to five. Repeat 4 times. And that’s it!

You can perform this exercise whenever you need to relax, whether it's on a plane or in a car or anyplace you may be sitting. Because this exercise may be very relaxing, it shouldn’t be performed while driving.

Over time, if performed regularly, this exercise will help you recognize

tension in your body. You’ll be able to relax muscles at any time without having to perform the entire exercise. For long-term results, do this at least twice a day.

You may develop your own, longer relaxation exercise by adding more muscle groups and tensing for longer than 5 seconds.

Maximize the benefits of this exercise by visualizing a peaceful scene at

the end. Remember your happy place? Go there and enjoy it for at least 5 minutes.

“There is virtue in work and there is virtue in rest. Use both and overlook

neither.” ~ Alan Cohen

ADDITIONAL STRESS BUSTING TIPS:

1. Don’t just sit there. Move! According to many psychologists, motion creates emotion. When you’re idle it’s easier to become depressed. Your heart rate slows down, less oxygen travels to your brain, and you’re slumped somewhere in a chair blocking the air from reaching your lungs.

Right now, regardless of how you’re feeling, get up and walk around at a fast clip. Even jump up and down a little bit if you can. It may sound silly but the results speak for themselves. Try it for a few minutes. It works like magic.

Exercise can be a great stress buster. People with anxiety disorders

might worry that aerobic exercise could bring on a panic attack. After all, when you exercise, your heart rate goes up, you begin to sweat, and your breathing becomes heavier.

Don’t panic – it’s not an attack! Tell yourself this over and over while

you’re exercising. Realize that there’s a big difference between the physical aspect of exercise and the mental/emotional aspect.

2. Help others cope with their problems. It’s very therapeutic and gratifying

when you’re involved with helping others. You’d be surprised how many people’s problems seem worse than yours. You can offer assistance in countless ways. Don’t curl up in your bed and let depression take hold of you. Get out and help somebody. But be careful. Don’t get so caught up in other people’s problems that you forget about your own.

3. Laugh! You’ve heard that laughter is the best medicine? It is! It relieves tension and loosens the muscles. It causes blood to flow to the heart and brain. More importantly, laughter releases a chemical that rids the body of pain.

Every day, researchers discover new benefits of laughter. Let me ask you this question: “Can you use a good dose of belly-shaking laughter every now and then?” Of course you can. What are you waiting for? Go to a comedy club or rent some funny movies.

4. Wear your knees out. If there were one sustainable remedy I could offer

you when things are rough, it would be prayer. Many people, depending on their faith, might call it meditation. It doesn’t matter what you call it, as long as you have a place to do it.

5. Make stress your friend. Acknowledge that stress can be good and make

it your friend! The body’s natural “fight or flight” response produces a burst of energy that can enhance your performance at precisely the right moment. Top sportsmen are not relaxed before a big competition, they use their stress to their benefit. When used wisely, stress can help you push yourself a little bit harder when it counts most.

6. Stress is contagious. What we mean by this is that negative people can

be a huge stressor. Negativity breeds stress and some people do nothing but complain. Don’t get caught up in their negative behavior. Recognize that these people have their own stress and it doesn’t belong to you! Limit your contact with them. You can try to play stress doctor and teach them how to better manage their stress, but be aware that this may contribute more to your own stress, so tread lightly.

7 Copy good stress managers. When people around you are losing their heads, watch for those who keep calm. What are they doing differently? What is their attitude? What language do they use? Are they trained and experienced?

Figure it out from afar or sit them down for a chat. Learn from the best stress managers and copy what they do.

8. Use heavy breathing. You can trick your body into relaxing by using heavy

breathing. Breathe in slowly for a count of 7 then breathe out for a count of 11. Repeat the 7-11 breathing technique until your heart rate slows down, your sweaty palms dry off and things start to feel more normal.

9. Stop stress thought trains! It’s possible to tangle yourself up into a stress

knot all by yourself. Especially if you’re constantly expecting the worst to happen and keep repeating negative things to yourself, for example; “If this happens, then that might happen and then we’re all up the creek!” Most bad things never happen, so don’t waste all that energy worrying needlessly. Give stress thought-trains the red light and stop them in their tracks.

10. Know your stress hot spots and trigger points. Presentations, interviews,

meetings, giving difficult feedback, tight deadlines. These are all things that can get your heart racing.

Make your own list of stress trigger points or hot spots. Be specific. Is it only presentations to a certain audience that get you worked up?

Does one project cause more stress than another? Did you drink too much coffee? Knowing what causes your stress is powerful information, you can use this knowledge to take action to reduce or eliminate the stress altogether.

11. Eat, drink, sleep and be merry! Lack of sleep, poor diet and no exercise

wreaks havoc on our body and mind. Kind of obvious, but worth mentioning as it’s often ignored as a stress management technique.

Avoid using artificial means of dealing with your stress. Don’t

automatically pour a glass of wine when you think you’re getting stressed out, and don’t light up a cigarette. In actuality, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, and drugs can make the problem worse. A better idea is to practice the relaxation techniques you’ve learned here. Then, once you’re relaxed, you can have that glass of wine if you want.

12. Go outside and enjoy Mother Nature. A little sunshine and activity can

have amazing influence on your stress level and can enhance your outlook on life. Your improved attitude will also have a positive effect on everyone around you. Things that once seemed overwhelming will soon become trivial matters, often causing you to wonder what the big deal was in the first place.

Not only will you be less stressed, you will be healthier, happier, and more

energetic; ready to face whatever obstacles come your way. 13. Give yourself permission to be a 'kid' again. Be carefree and creative.

Allow yourself the freedom to express yourself and don’t worry if it’s not in keeping with the image of who you’re 'supposed' to be. Just relax and enjoy yourself. We all have an inner child, let it free. Let it play!

14. Don’t set unrealistic goals for yourself. Many people set themselves up for

failure simply by setting unrealistic goals. Whatever your goal is, allow sufficient time to reach it and realize that setbacks will probably happen.

15. Learn that it’s OK to say 'no' occasionally. You can’t be all things to all

people. You must first meet your own needs before you can be of any use to anyone else.

16. Make time for yourself your number one priority. Once your own needs

are met you may find more pleasure in helping others. 17. This is a great idea that works. Ok ready, now … YELL! That’s right,

scream at the top of your lungs – as loud as you can. While this may not

be feasible in your home, it works great when you’re in your car with the windows rolled up. Let out a guttural scream from deep down inside. It’s liberating!

18. Sing! Think how much better you’d feel if you belted out “Copacabana” at

the top of your lungs! Who cares if you can’t carry a tune? You’re doing this for you! Oh, and hairbrushes do make acceptable microphones.

19. Take up a new hobby. Like knitting or crocheting. Don't worry about

being good at it. It's the process that's beneficial. Sitting still while performing repetitive movements is calming and stabilizing for many people. It can be a good time to collect your thoughts, and you may get a new scarf out of it.

20. Start a garden. Even apartment-dwellers can do this. Indoor pots, pots on

the patio, pots on the window sill, a spot in your yard or the community garden. There’s a little work setting it up, but once it’s done the rest is maintenance.

Tending plants, fruits, vegetables, flowers and watching them grow,

bloom, or yield food is rewarding. Avid gardeners say working a garden is the best way to control stress and worry. An added benefit is the creation of a more beautiful, peaceful environment.

21. Play with a dog or cat. Experts say pet owners have longer lives and

fewer stress symptoms that non-pet owners. Playing with your pet lowers your cortisol level (hormone associated with stress) and produces serotonin. It’s the perfect form of social interaction with no pressure to meet anyone’s expectations!

22. Look at the stars and the moon. It can be a very humbling experience to

lie on a blanket with your hands behind your head and gaze up into the night sky. It’s more than humbling; it’s downright beautiful and awe inspiring!

23. Treat yourself to some comfort food. But be careful or over-eating could

become a new stressor. Enjoy in moderation and you’ll feel better. 24. Swing! Remember the feeling of sitting on that little piece of leather on

the playground as you swayed back and forth and felt the wind whipping through you hair? Do that! If you don’t have a swing in your yard, go to a playground, remember to pump your legs back and forth to see how high you can go.

25. Take a candlelit bubble bath. Even men will benefit from a warm bath

awash in the soft glow of candlelight. Lay your head back, feel the

bubbles and the warm water, and let your stress go right down the drain. Add some Epsom Salts – but remember, it’s a detoxifier, so make sure to drink plenty of water afterwards.

Now you have twenty-five ways to relax and de-stress! You can come up

with your own too as long as it’s something that makes you feel better when you’re overwhelmed and takes your head out of whatever causes your stress in the first place. Be faithful about using these techniques. You’ll be a healthier person overall.

“It’s not the situation that’s causing your stress, it’s your thoughts, and you can change that right here and now. You can choose to be peaceful right here and now. Peace is a choice, and it has nothing to do with what other people do or

think!” ~ Gerald Jampolsky

CONCLUSION

Stress management isn’t as difficult as it may seem. However, if you think you have too much stress in your life, it may be helpful to talk with your doctor, spiritual advisor, or local mental health association. Reactions to stress can be a factor in depression, anxiety and other disorders. They might recommend that you visit with a psychiatrist, psychologist, social worker, or other qualified counselor.

The author is not a medical professional. This book should be used as a

tool to help you cope with stress. Stress management tips are simple, cost effective methods to monitor and alleviate stress. They can be practiced almost anywhere at any time.

Stress is a normal part of life and in small quantities is actually good. It

can motivate you and help you be more productive. However, too much stress, or a strong response to stress, is harmful.

Stress can set you up for general poor health as well as specific physical

or psychological illnesses like; infection, heart disease, or depression. Persistent and unrelenting stress often leads to anxiety and unhealthy behaviors like overeating and abuse of alcohol or drugs.

Just like causes of stress differ from person to person, what relieves

stress is not the same for everyone. In general, however, making certain lifestyle changes, as well as finding healthy, enjoyable ways to cope with stress, does help most people.

There is NO WAY to completely eliminate stress from your life. What you

can do is to learn how to make stress work FOR you. My hope for you is that you learn to embrace the journey of life and get the edge over stress.

There are tens of millions of people out there who feel overwhelmed too.

Hopefully you will find peace within yourself and enjoy life to its fullest. When you feel yourself stressed out or beset with a panic attack, relax, breathe through it, and know you are not alone.