amongst the woods in this darkness
TRANSCRIPT
-
8/9/2019 Amongst the woods in this darkness
1/42
1
The Better Place
As my eye lids slammed wide open and My Dream vanished all away, I even dont
remember what was it all about? Strange huh, well got to get ready to the sameboring college. Better I get ready before I get a shout from mom saying why the
hell are you taking this much time in just dressing up? But moms u gotta know
that your Baby isnt taking time at all, unlike all those girls in those fancy costume
Babes in my college. Im Just a star who doesnt need such stuff; even a piece of
cloth can make me the queen. Ah!!! Enough of boost up, Time for shower oops
forgot about the brushing first.
Off to college trying to skip my breakfast coz its definitely gonna be some kinda
crap. And Wish me safe journey coz its my bike. Let me get back after college
experiences as there would be lots to tell.
Let me say now got over with one complete day and now its rest time and recap
time as I always like to remember though it was a really bad day.
Humiliation is a so normal thing which can be occurred in everybodys life at
times. But its kinda extreme in my case that I always get stuck in such kinda
circumstances. Well I know you might have guessed already that theres been an
incident at college today. As like I was lost in my dream world which pulls me
towards it has caused all this humiliation. Well to say I wasnt paying attention to
what educational stuff Mr. Lecture was teaching about so he asked me to stand
up. You know automatically questions Fire upon you, and then I started to
stammer, shiver and couldnt answer that was quite universal then he came in
asking about my assignment marks which turned out to be three outta ten whole
marks. Actually it was bad about getting three marks but dont know why some
chemical reactions happened inside that I felt like I was about to faint. Reallyweird sir thought that like I didnt listen he was kinda roughly repeating that thing
but I was almost fainting I could see white borders, total silence and only one
kinda angelic feeling that somebody has come to take me to some heavens. Felt
like this is your last second on this earth baby Ive come to take you away. But as
soon as a few seconds got through I stood still everything vanished except the sir
-
8/9/2019 Amongst the woods in this darkness
2/42
2
standing in front of me. Actually I couldnt bear looking at that Lecture that I just
ran out of the class saying that I really need to go to the wash room. Dont really
know why I ran through the corridor totally in tears on the way to the wash room.
I swear this was the worst experience ever. May be people face such experiences
or not. I really dont care. Though I do care a little bit about what people think
about me and I do face humiliation but that doesnt mean all these things are
gonna matter a lot to me. By the way, what dream was I thinking about when all
this shit happened? I can say the start of the day was only a total bad
chronological day. I was in some dream which I really dont remember even a bit,
and suddenly there was a huge sound I felt it was kinda ogre and I just got up at a
stretch. But it was that glass fish tank broke though it didnt contain any fishes it
was too loud when it fell down. And I felt it was in my dream, so strange, even
though I got up still my pulse rate was surplus.
Sometimes it happens like that even though you feel that you are looking good,
people dont like you that way. I do know its only according to ones own feeling
but its evenly important to know how others feel about you. Well I dont think I
should pay much attention to gossipers though. Of course Im great however I
look and I like the way I am. I guess all what matters is just your confidence in you
that you are the one best among everyone and you can make a special corner for
everybodys heart when you talk. Such simple it is when u just talk about it, But
when you actually land in reality of practicing such silly things you land up to
nothing and u cant just change things so fast. It isnt a Childs play though.
May be to say today wasnt that awful about my dress, but some said are
exposing, these girls get on pricking even tight leggings which seem obscene to
college. But like I've got compliments from guys, isnt that rocking. Even like I've
told those guys that girls in our class didnt like me today, they were like a girl
cant appreciate another girls beauty. That isnt true; girls arent that jealous, Iagree sometime you dont like your crush or boy friend complimenting other girl
but you. But it isnt that we dont accept other girls beauty. But my day was
totally fine. I like it. Huh!!!!
-
8/9/2019 Amongst the woods in this darkness
3/42
3
Sunday tomorrow so no college no stuff, may be Sundays are just meant for
normal gloomy sleepy hours running away leaving so fast that you get a Monday
as soon as you open your eyes and you land into college with total unfinished
projects. Sundays are always meant to be so boring until you catch up for some
movie or so, but that happens only with your family cause in mine its meant a
family spending time. Ah!!! So boring duh!!! Thinking of tomorrow itself is
making me sick, I better not do that.
Crossed away with that Sunday but landed into this so stupid mourning Monday
morning, and now its just 6oclock I'm awake. Isnt that great, as usually I dont
get up till 8oclock that coz I just need to reach college by 9am. May be today
theres gonna be something special that made me wake up that early. Is it so?
Who knows? Coz your future can never be perfectly planned as they say, as you
cant think of the next second. You may be alive or may not coz no one can stop
the death, if Rachel was here she would have yelled at me will you keep your silly
philosophies to yourself. But they arent that stupid huh!! I think so.
I guess its all according to your thinking and your localities you fix up your
mentalities to such a different extent that two people can never be with the exact
same mentalities in a single home of same blood only, though they grow up in
same atmospheres. Enough of mentalities now though I aint that into Humanpsychology stuff. Guess If you think observing new things is only a study and write
about them in your own way, may I could be a researcher searching what is this
term of thinking in humans and what are these feelings? I would definitely wanna
know.
May be sometimes I really feel my life is so directionless that I dont know what
should I be doing? It isnt the matter about right now. Its all about my future. Is
there a thing like that for me? Though I'm into mass communications and media
which all my parents, uncles and aunties didnt want me to join saying you are a
bright kid why dont you join in some good course like engineering or like all the
other kids look at them theyve got all those ranks. And totally bug me up. Though
I know this isnt that good field where you dont get hundred thousand for a
month but it will make me happy and I wouldnt feel like I'm working. But why the
-
8/9/2019 Amongst the woods in this darkness
4/42
4
hell do parents think that its their responsibility to get their child married
especially girls, and I'm fed up. I wanna live on my own, for my own ability and
talent. And I really have too many desires on my life why dont people understand
that I dont want to share my life with someone and keep on taking permissions
for everything I do from some other person. I want it all my way with no one
telling me behind. Even though its wrong I want to know my mistakes. Because I
dont want others keep on telling me I dont want it to be overprotected. I am
what I am and mom thinks that someday Ill get in love with some guy and then
these things would take a flight. I know I keep on changing decisions but I cant
bear anyone else but me in my life as I just love myself. This is true. Anyways its
too late let me get to sleep got to get to college again tomorrow.
-
8/9/2019 Amongst the woods in this darkness
5/42
5
A NEW CRUSH CRASHED OFF
Guess what today at college it was the best day ever, ask me what I did. Let me
start from the morning as I parked my bike at the stand in the college and just
came into the path way a guy, whose quite handsome and good looking came onhis Blue racer bike and then just went on too fast and tried to park it beside mine
and dropped my bike on the ground. I went on total rage on him, he and his blue
goggles. I shouted at him for dropping my scooty, I swear I would have totally
killed him then if Rachel wouldnt stop me. Though I was yelling at him that loud it
didnt affect him even a little, what does he think of himself? Is he some Prince of
Washington or what? Well as Rachel pulled me to the class I didnt say much and
then after that he entered right away to the class, as he came in all girls were
staring at him, because he was looking better than every guy in this whole
college. Then we got to know he was a transfer student from St.Anns College
which is a pretty famous among all which is in a metro like Delhi. And he came
here cause of he has to stay with his grandpa and stuff; he showed a story to my
English mam she kept on listening. Why would I care if some guy came into this
college, and all other girls were like bare tongues I didnt taught of this much
catchy he was. After that to my astonishment madam started to say from today I
want groups. Or I can say pairs working on a project especially between a girl and
a boy.
I dont mind whether its about love or friendship or any other thing you got to
enact a little story. Its just to make you feel free but not to create love stuff like
guys you always try to take advantage in these cases, so Ill keep an eye on you.
Now I want all your names written in a piece of paper and put it in these bowls. I
want you people to form four in a group. Make it like 3 boys and a girl. How
would that be as there are girls few in number? Miss Honey said it.
As we wrote the bowls got full with those bits of paper, and mam started listing
out all the groups. Everybody finished I guess it was about last 5 to 6 names left.
Then came from the guys a name was Neel my best buddy, wished even mine
would come out, but it didnt instead Lilly the nerd got there. My luck didnt
turned that bad ever that everybody got over except me and that Jay (New Guy)
-
8/9/2019 Amongst the woods in this darkness
6/42
6
at school was linked up with me, Only we both nobody else. I didnt want this to
happen. Every girl in my class was kinda jealous about me that only me and him,
Even English madam was like you are only two people so you could try working
out Romeo and Juliet of Shakespeare, Me and Juliet never. That too with Mr.
goggles never. How am I gonna bear that arrogant, attitude guy out there. Just
hate him. But no other option at least my favorite subject where I could get an A
cant be neglected because of some specimen paired up with me. When I said this
to Rachel and lovely they were like it sounds like some filmy stuff, a girl who hates
a guy in the starting and falls in love with him in the end, Happy ending. But it aint
any Film to happen like that. Moreover he is just a classmate who is quite a little
arrogant but you neednt fear cause you know how to deal different mentalities
all you got to do is take a little patience and dont over react about all his stupid
show case. Its that simple babes I know you can do it. Huh!
Well Got over with this English period thinking now gotta go to my stupid stinky
subject of economics. I just hate economics dont really know why though its all a
economical based world I just hate it. Hope I just get away easily today. Going to
enter it now, Rachels got to be in the other batch far away wishing her roll
number was closer to mine. But shes happy about her number closer to her best
friend turned crush Rocky (Rahul) they both are hot together but still say they are
only friends and dont want any other stuff. May be being close friends is cool. In
case of mine in this class among boys of course I've got Neel with me, my best
buddy but even his roll number is far away. Anyways, have to be going on with
these stupid numbers now I'm thinking too much. Sometimes it happens like I
keep on staring something when I'm actually not staring but thinking and that
turned out like I was paying too much attention to some guy out there that he
came near me and asked me out, I know this extreme thinking would someday
get me into total trouble. Oh boy! Mr. Jay is closer to me; I guess he was trying to
tell me something. Why is sir walking near me? Let me check.
What are you doing? I told you to write all those assignment about the recession
and the calculations what have you done miss? And I can see you even didnt
write last class assignment, I think you have to meet me in the detention centre
miss.
-
8/9/2019 Amongst the woods in this darkness
7/42
7
Ah! Humiliation in front of that Jay I didnt want this to happen. Disgusting I just
taught of trouble, and here I am. I wish this was just a hallucination. But it isnt
because I'm in the detention class which is getting over in 10 minutes. Finally got
out and now here he comes now to depress me even more. I dont want to hear
from him now.
Hey! I'm Jay, I'm sorry for what happened in the morning to your pink Barbie
thing and I didnt do it wontedly. I wanted to say this to you before itself but you
were totally yelling at me that I dont know why it seemed so cute that I kept on
staring you as no one scolded me like that. And maybe it was preplanned by
destiny that you are my English project partner but hope you dont yell at
everything even while we do this project because it will make it a little tough. I
tried to tell you about that in the class he was watching you but you were lost in
some land that I couldnt distract you at all, so you have to pay for it now. Well if
your pink thing got any damage dont worry ill pay for it cause its really flimsy like
you All this by Jay, and I just kept staring at him I even didnt open my mouth.
Total tight lipped, but why did I listen to him when he kept on treating me that
low. I really didnt know why I couldnt even say a word. God only knows how I'm
gonna do this project, and now I gotta see his face for all these three years of
college as his roll number is been given near me. Awful! I just didnt want this to
happen. Rachels coming, Oh so babes, How is he? Hot, Stylish and talks really
great Is it cooking there?Rachel. What? Are you mad? No way, me and Jay
never. I just hate him. I dont like him at all. It can never turn in Like, I hate his
arrogance and attitude. Like he is the only person on the earth who knows
everything and everybody else is dumb heads. Dont ever take his name near
me. I said and the Rachel gave me the weirdest look ever. As soon as I turned
back Neel was coming to talk to me, and he was giggling that I went in detention
and making fun of me. I ran behind him to beat him. And we had a great time as
after that he had to come with me to Caf and we drank Milkshakes even Rachel
and Rocky joined us. Then rode till home and got into normal routine.
-
8/9/2019 Amongst the woods in this darkness
8/42
8
RACHELS FISHY PHONE CALL
As dinner got over with a little talk with mom and dad as always when I was
talking to ma in the kitchen my phone started buzzing, texts from Rachel and
Rocky saying babes you got to come out now we need you. I didnt know why
both were texting about 10messeges altogether; mom had a stern look at me
thinking that even though she comes home she always gets hooked up with her
friends. She never studies and doesnt even have time to talk to us. A small look
could express so much where you dont need any words. And even words get less
to describe some expressions. As I turned to mom keeping the phone a little aside
asking her Ma can I go to the corner of the street as Rachel wants to talksomething to me, and she wants me to be there now. Can I go? I asked her as
sweetly possible. Then she said Why is it that necessary that you cant deal with
it in the college tomorrow? Why not ask her to come to our place? Anyways go if
its that important but make sure you be back by a half hour or so. As soon as
she said that I rushed to the door with my bike keys, phone and my wallet. As
soon as I went out I just called her up to conform where she wants me to come.
Then she asked to come to continental, I was like babes I aint dressed up. Do you
want me to enter a 5star hotel in my night suit? She said its alright, it doesntmatter much as this aint any costume party. But dont tell me its gonna be
another humiliation again, I dont want that to happen. Wish me Luck.
As I entered to the lobby and was heading to the restaurant in the corner one
called sushi, I came across Jay and he was surrounded with total delegates and in
tuxes and he was seriously discussing something, wish he didnt notice me. By the
way why does this happen whenever I just dont want to get noticed by some
particular person I just land into them right away.
Guess what, why Rachel called me here, its nothing she just wanted to eat sushi
and wanted all of us to be there as she was bugged up with that Hostel food. I
taught that there was something dangerous and wrong going on with Rachel. Oh
Boy! I gotta end up with these imaginations. But sushi tastes good. Well Ive never
-
8/9/2019 Amongst the woods in this darkness
9/42
9
liked it that much but today it isnt that bad. As soon as I finished, we went out to
the parking Lott and its strange I found Arshika and that Hunk Jay talking to each
other. How come they both knowing each other? I didnt think about this, are
they hooked up? Why should I care? Its alright. If they know each other, love
each other why should I think about them? Anyways, stop thinking about them.
Ah! Forgot I didnt tell you about Arshika right well to say she is the daughter of
our colleges trusty and she thinks she is the sexiest girl in the whole college. Even
guys think she is sexy and she is the most popular figure in college to my bad luck
she is in the same class of mine. Hell! Rocky is staring at me to know what I am
thinking. I got to leave for home now or else I will get into trouble, its already
crossed 2 whole hours.
Ah! Moms calling gotta leave you guys meet you at college tomorrow.
Finally reached home and now I neednt change my dress even just gotta fall flat
on the bed. Totally tired and gotta be going to college tomorrow. Good Night
Baby!!!
-
8/9/2019 Amongst the woods in this darkness
10/42
10
NEW DAY NEW PROBLEMS
Morning seems so fresh today, even didnt feel like I wanna sleep some more
time on my bed. And today I woke up all by myself, mom didnt come to wake me
up. There is so much time left to get to college I dont need to hurry up today.
May be today I really dont want to go to college feel like going somewhere else
where I there is a lot of cool air great wind and me singing for myself and to the
air. That would be so nice. How about going now to the corner street near that
bench would be a cool place and there wouldnt be lots of sunshine but mildly
needed and no one around that I could sing for myself. That sounds great. So let
me get ready now. And go faster so that I could get more time before college.
Well I reached here on this bench all alone away from the world, in to my world
where there would be me, only me. May be its sometimes good to be alone. But
not always, as it can scare you or like even make you feel low. When someone
hurts you or when someone leaves you deserted you get depressed and obviously
you tend to be alone. But why am I thinking about sadness when I'm in such a
good mood. Let me start singing now, my own tune that hums right in the air.
When these breezes touching me feels like you are whispering to me, whenthese cold drops gliding my feels like you are feeling me, and these sweet flowers
showering down me seems like the perfume is spreading around me. Though I
think I see you everyday but still you are like my shadow behind me, when would
you show up to me, when I see the mirror wish I could see you behind, why do
you think I'm waiting for you.
May be few words went in through the tune that its alright not bad. But why was
I thinking about someone to come in towards my life? Was it true what mom said
that one day ill share my life with someone I like and he gets in control of me, I
dont want such disaster to happen. Never!
Got to get to college its late again will have to rush, bye bye bench, flowers and
my dear lake.
-
8/9/2019 Amongst the woods in this darkness
11/42
11
Just reached college crossed the parking Lott cant see anyone nearby. Why is it
so empty I cant see anyone?
Well my phone is ringing; its Rachel why is she calling me now?
Rachel: Hey Babes where are you? Did you forget that today we have got the
college restoring of art committees meeting, and you have to be here as you
are one of the member. They are finding for you, they told you would be dealing
with the speech of the greatness of arts in college with academics, and you
arent here. Where are you? Be there in the Indira Stadium within 5minutes.
Me: Ah! Fish! I totally forgot about it today, you mean I should be dealing with
the speech, can there be any substitute. I just cant do it now. Ill be there by
5minutes talk to you there. Bye.
Rachel: Bye, get here fast.
Ah! Man, problem I totally forgot about the speech, I even dont know a word
what should I be saying. The speech I wrote is in my room. I even didnt bring it
with me so that I could manage at least by giving a look to it. Ah! God help me!
Hey forgot why not I ask Arjun to mail it to me ASAP so that I could manage
reading it out, may a little safe side. Good Idea! I didnt know my brain could workthis sharp even when its this much tensed. Hats off! Let me call him 1
st.
Ha done baby, we can say technology is the best if it wouldnt have been there I
would have been totally undergrounded as the committee and meeting was
totally proposed by me. Anyways reached the door, got to get in, why is it always
with the doors I hesitate going in, these always scare the hell out of me.
What else should I be doing now? Got to get there till the stage Ah! I hear them
announcing my name now, got to reach there within seconds. Hey made it.
Rachel is here, Let me Tell her Its ok ill do with the speech, I got the rough draft I
can manage. Is it time now can you give me 2seconds will have to be opening the
mail. Oh Baby! There is the whole college hope I dont mess up.
-
8/9/2019 Amongst the woods in this darkness
12/42
12
As soon as I got on the stage guess what I hit the step and would fall down, my
entrance itself was a great humiliation. And after that as soon as I started to
speak everything was a bit ok, even the people started to like what I was saying
about but suddenly dont really know why I said crap in between. Overall
everything was quite cool. Anyways now that the meeting got over I gotta get out
of this stage and auditorium too. Well as I was going down, Rachel followed me
and then we slowly went out of that stadium. After that we met Rocky outside, all
of us were like kinda talking and me still shivering for all the blunders I made on
stage. Though I'm capable enough I dont know why Ive really got this pre-time
nervousness which goes to much hype. May be if that wouldnt be there I would
have been the best among many people. Like everybody doesnt have everything
may be this would be my weakness. Especially the fear of getting humiliated is the
1st
weakness among all, though I say I dont care it doesnt actually mean. Well
some things can be decreased but very gradually. Anyways, let me join the
conversation of Miss Rachel and her dear Rocky.
Me: Hey! What are you talking about?
Rachel: Nothing about your speech, thinking that did it make any effect on our
principal and the committees cause that would be the base for our new room
allocation. But you were good at making an interest in the speech towards you,so that like you were attracting the total members. Babes gotta agree that you
are good at it.
Rocky: Well do you think we gotta discuss all that stuff now, Why not get to
some caf or the beach side Restaurant and talk there. Because its too clumsy
in here, and as you were best among all the people out there and your speech
did rock so you gotta be celebrating babes.
Me: Alright sounds cool lets go!
As soon as we got to an end there came The Hunk Mr. Jay. Let me say his words.
Jay: Hey! You were good; I liked the way you tried to motivate. Marvelous,
really I seriously appreciate you.
-
8/9/2019 Amongst the woods in this darkness
13/42
-
8/9/2019 Amongst the woods in this darkness
14/42
14
Jay: Actually Arshika is my family friend and business partners. I didnt meet her
from past 3 years I guess. Before that for holidays I used to meet her. She is
kinda arrogant, she has that from her childhood only it doesnt matter to me a
lot.
Me: Alright lets move on now, Rachel get on my bike. And you both would be
coming together.
Thank god called Rachel to my bike or else that Hunk would have taken the
advantage. But he aint that interested in me though. Now got that fishy thing out,
they are just childhood friends but who knows about the relationship. Well on the
way to the beach yippee my favorite place in this whole world is the beach. No
matter what time beach always looks beautiful. Especially in the full moon light it
glows amazingly beautiful. Well reached it now. Even guys reached, now going to
get in the restaurant. As we sat down Rocky started,
Rocky: So how was your old college any cool chicks out there? So how many
relationships were you in dude? Well if you think that I'm asking in front of
these girls you neednt worry as they arent chicks anyways. And you neednt
worry at all.
How dare he say that, not now let this Hunk go and then Ill give him both left andright.
Jay: Actually no one will believe me but I didnt even kiss any girl, and about
relationships none. Many girls had crush on me but really dont know why most
of them use to keep distance from me they think I show attitude cause I'm
looking good. But I dont think that I look good.
As he was speaking Rachel was looking at me and showing weird expressions that
look at him how nice he is. Ah! Fuck! That isnt true he is just bluffing Mr. Bluff
master. Well this Rocky hasnt got any other work expect interviewing this hunk
and asking him stupid questions. As they were talking I dont know why I felt like
going into the waters of the beach, and may be my instincts told me before only
that in the morning I got myself an extra pair. So I just interrupted saying I'm
going. And these people didnt pay much attention, so I just left and was
-
8/9/2019 Amongst the woods in this darkness
15/42
-
8/9/2019 Amongst the woods in this darkness
16/42
16
As he said that he started to remove his clothes, oh gosh! He was looking damn
hot, Hes got abs and even his biceps are looking hot. I guess he works out in the
gymnasium every day. Oh man! I think thats the reason all these girls have crush
on him. Well As we slowly moved into the waters, where as Rocky and Rachel
enjoying in the sand. Well then Jay started to move a bit closer, didnt know why
some kinda reactions were taking place in my body, it isnt that I have a crush on
him. No way! That isnt possible.
Jay: So Do you come frequently to the beach?
Me: Ya most of the time.
Jay: to me you seem like you have a total hatred on guys who flirt and you dont
like people trying out for you.
Me: But
Jay: and even now youcant admit it, I felt that. And when that day you came to
the continental you were like checking me out. You had some kinda weird
expression that why the hell is this guy here. When you saw me and shika you
had some other kind of expression. But your every expression has an in-depth
meaning. You are like the deep blue sea which shows different colors as you go
in finding out.
Me: I just cant say anything.
Jay: Even now I can trace out your expression but if I tell you what it is about,
you will definitely freak on me.
Me: Oh Gosh! I guess I can say its really tough to look at you now.
Jay: It isnt like that I just wanted you to open up and express what you feel;
though I understand your expressions they are just half way through. And I just
wanted to make it clear that I aint trying out for you. I just thought maybe we
could be good friends.
-
8/9/2019 Amongst the woods in this darkness
17/42
17
Me: Well I believe in making true friends, and I think to make you my friend it
could take a little bit more time. And to say about all my feelings I think you
need to get a little closer to me.
Jay: But dont really know why theres some reason that you are keeping me faraway and making a lot of distance between us. I even feel you are showing a
different stance at me that is making a gap which I'm not able to fill in. Anyways
its up to you.
Me: Hey! It isnt like that I just need a little time to get used with, and
automatically you get set up. But I think to be truthful its true that I need to tell
what exactly I wanna tell to you, maybe not now, but some other good day.
As I ended it like this and then I swam a little bit that he was too close to me
looking so sexy. I can say my heart wanted him, but dont know why all these
reactions are happening in me. Why? Dont tell me that this is all because I feel
like I like him. No way! Never can it happen. And as we finished that superb sexy
swim, I came back dried myself up and then wore my clothes and it was almost 2
in the noon. We had lunch, talked so much time. I think Mr. Jay isnt that bad. He
is nice, loving, caring and treats his friends well. The way he talks is even nice.
Well but why am I thinking all this stuff, cut it. Cut out the crap.
Rachels coming I better get home now, its kinda boring.
Rachel: Baby whatz up? How is he? Hes so damn hot baby, Im just going crazy.
Now you gotta tell me about what all did you talk? Im not gonna let you go.
Me: Well nothing so hot, I admit that he is good looking, he talks good and hes
a real eye catcher, attention puller. But still I dont like him. Is that clear?
Rachel: Ah! Its up to you babes, but I knew that he is kinda flirting on you,
might be he thinks youre sexy.
Me: Nothing like that, he just thinks I'm different.
And we actually ended up here like those guys joined us, and Jay got dressed and
was like so what are you guys thinking to be doing know?
-
8/9/2019 Amongst the woods in this darkness
18/42
18
Me: Lets get home now I'm tired. And just feel like sleeping.
Rocky: Can you and Jay go together because Rachels hostel is near home, so I
could just drop her and get near. By the way even Jays home is nearby your
home only I just came to know. So what do you say?
Me: Oh! Ok! Ill be dropping him. Then lets start now.
Well I'm going mad, its awful now me dropping him Oh gosh! I'm so not gonna
drop him.
Me: Hope you wont mind to sit back cause I dont like guys driving my bike.
Jay: Nah! Not a problem until you drive safe, moreover I aint that good at
driving girls bikes.
Me: So where do you stay?
Jackson: Get till the 3rd
lane of the Fosters colony, Ill tell you from there.
Me: Oh! Ok will be going.
As I started it was quite ok, I guess I got adjusted with the fact that I'm taking this
total attitude Hunk to his home on my bike. I guess I'm doing it so I shouldnt be
thinking of it. As I reached the 3rd street and then he asked me to get to the last
and there my favorite home, which looks so damn beautiful, which I always
admired and to my astonishment its his home.
-
8/9/2019 Amongst the woods in this darkness
19/42
19
MY PROBLEMS ARENT BIG LIKE I THINK OF
As soon as I reached that home and asked him,
Me: Is this your home? I know this home; Ive been to this area many times. I
like this house a lot.
Jay: Would you like to come in for a while just like some tea or coffee?
Me: May be next time, not now. Some other day surely I would love to come in.
Jay: But wish you would come today, like dont know when again we would be
meeting like this.
Me: If you insist so I would come in.
Jay: Ah! Love you.
Well, did he mean it? Nah! It was just an expression that Ive was going in. As I
went in the Hall was marvelous, not less than a palace. The interior too is as
beautiful as it looks from outside. And its really sweet smelling inside. As I moved
in I found an old man, about in his 70s or so. Then I gotta know that its his
grandpa. As I was left in the room with grandpa and he went to get something in
the meantime I talked to his grandpa.
Grandpa: So Girl, how are you? Are you studying with Jay? Where do you live?
Are you born here?
So many questions at a time thats what I was thinking about then.
Me: I'm Fine thank you, Ya I'm studying in the same class of Jay, and I stay
across the park in the next lane. My dad works in the Ark Factory in the outer
city, and we are here from when I was three in the same home.
Grandpa: Oh! Good. Jay just used to come here for holidays, but when this
disaster happened that he lost his Mom, Dad and 14 year old sister he then
shifted here to stay with me as he couldnt stay alone in that big home in that
city.
-
8/9/2019 Amongst the woods in this darkness
20/42
20
But he feels sad about that accident every time but he never tells it to anybody.
Me: Oh! But he never told us about that, we used to ask him why did you leave
such a big college, but he never used to answer us. He always used to skip it up.
Jay: Ah! So what stories are you telling her grandpa, scaring her away from the
house huh!
Me: Nothing like that, your grandpa is really nice and welcoming, I just like him
a lot. Youre really lucky. And youve got a great home. I just love this place.
Jay: Ah! Well you even didnt see the whole house, come on let me show you
my room.
As he said that he lead me towards the stair case, and then in a corner there was
a door, as I opened the door a real vast place, a huge bed, a corner table, a book
shelf and the best part was the balcony on the opposite side. I liked it so much. As
soon as I entered, I went near the balcony, I didnt know why I felt like the lake
where I go every day, and felt like its my own entire place.
Then when slowly the breeze passed on to me and I was lost in that marvelous
feeling, then slowly Jay moved near me. Though he was too close I felt it nice, I
felt warm, and I felt safe. I didnt know I had a great feeling that hes all mine,never felt so romantic. As he moved a little bit closer I got a little bit distracted
that suddenly some leaf particle brushed up in to my eye with the air. He was
trying to help me out, and I could barely hear his heart beat. His fragrance
surrounding me, my eye didnt pain that much as I was indulged in all these
feelings. For a fraction of second I was lost in some world. And then when than
thing came out of my eye, and he led me towards the wash room. He moved
away. Then when I saw my eye in the mirror, oh my god! It was all in blood red. I
didnt think it could turn this bad, tears were falling out my little bit swollen eye.
As soon as I came out of the bathroom he brought me ice so that my eye could
get a little lighter. Then as I kept the ice on my eye, he moved a little closer and
asked me,
-
8/9/2019 Amongst the woods in this darkness
21/42
21
Jay: How is it now? Hope you are feeling better. I must have told you that the
breeze is strong in the balcony and it sometimes hurts up like this. I'm sorry.
Me: Ah! Its ok. Not a big deal, its just little bit swollen will get back to normal
after few hours I guess so. Well Can I ask you something?
Jay: Ya sure go ahead.
Me: I know its tough to live with the fact that youre parents are no more. I
admire your sister, she is so beautiful. Like you.
Jay: But you got to deal with the fate, its all accordingly. My sister; she is the
best among all girls in every aspect. Well so did you say that I'm good looking?
Me: Sort of, but you have lots of arrogance. Thats why I hated to talk to you.
Jay: So you hated me and you taught that I had arrogance. Well how did you
think that I had arrogance?
Me: I dont know I just felt like that. Its my personal feeling.
As soon as the door got knocked and a maid entered he diverted it to,
Jay: Well! So what would you like to drink? Fruit juice, milkshake, soft drinks?
What about anything to eat?
Me: No thank you. I guess I better leave now.
Jay: But it just 4oclock in the evening and your home is just the opposite lane,
why not stay for little more time. I would feel little better, or else I would get
more lonely today after all your company.
Me: Ah! If you insist so its alright Ill be staying.
Jay: Thank you so much.
Me: Its my pleasure being here. Ive never thought I would enter into this
house. I dont know why I always admired this home, felt like this was mine it
belonged to me. And I never thought that I would come in and talk in here.
-
8/9/2019 Amongst the woods in this darkness
22/42
22
Jay: Some things happen like you never know why and how they happen.
This line is really gross. I mean the simpler it was the way he told but the
complexity was way too deep.
Me: Oh! Well thats true!
Jay: Is that true that you never gone for a date? And like why did you ignore
boys that much? Always I see you; I mean from when I came here, you seem so
typical that I feel no one can ever be like you. There feels like its something
much hidden about you that you never wanna let it show. You keep on
suppressing those feelings and you dont want yourself to cross those
boundaries drawn, you just want it to be the same with no thrills and
adventures. You arent a risk taking person according to my calculations.
Me: Actually I dont know why you think that I'm that much complicated; I'm
quite same like all other girls in this town. I aint that different, like you think.
I'm just a little bit independent and ambitious thats all. And thinking ill become
what I want someday isnt that peculiar I guess. Because everybody has dreams,
desires and they wish for them to be true someday.
Jay: Independent and ambitious sounds interesting.
As soon as he said that there were glasses of hot chocolate for both of us which
the maid got in.
Jay: I taught you would like this better than the other drinks. And it tastes sweet
like you.
Me: Oh! I love it.
Did he say that I am sweet? Well he did so, whats gonna matter anyways. Well
But why am I thinking that I wish he moves a little bit more closely just feels like
he stays around me. Does he feel like I feel? May be who knows? I guess he is
pretty smart and can predict me better than I think off, whats wrong if I go on a
date with him? May be he could be my 1st
boy friend?
-
8/9/2019 Amongst the woods in this darkness
23/42
23
What did I just think off? Oh Man! I'm just breaking my rules off; I have some
kinda certain living standards, I aint gonna change them for some guy who
seemed sexy and attractive to me. If even he is interested in me, I even liked his
home, his grandpa. So, it isnt gonna work out babes, as he is a rich guy. And I
guess he might like his childhood friend shika. Who knows? All I know is that I'm a
little attracted to him and no other guy in this whole town did attract me like this.
He is an attention seeker so obviously I must have got attracted to him and giving
him this much attention isnt needed. So I quit. Forget about the date.
Jay: Hey! What are you thinking? Hows the Hot chocolate? Did you like it?
Me: Ah! Ya its scrumptious and yummy. Hey! forgot about the English project
we got to work on. We got to be depicting a drama almost a duration of 5 to 10
minutes on the stage. And it could be any script, we could be the writers or it
could even be Romeo and Juliet like mam said, as she was particularly
suggesting because we were then only duo left.
Jay: Ya totally forgot about that. I think Romeo and Juliet would be great but it
takes a lot of practice with those dialogues. How about we write something
original? It can be a love story.
Me: This sounds ok. But though like if we write it wouldnt take that much timein practicing it but would take time to write it down. Anyways, we will discuss it
later. I guess I gotta leave now. Mom would be waiting for me, as I told her ill be
coming early and its already too late.
Jay: Ah! Alright but please be coming here, and remember that these doors are
always open to you.
Me: Ah! Surely, thank you for your hot chocolate and wonderful bed.
Jay: Thats my honor.
Me: Good Bye!
Then left for home, Ah! Baby I still cant forget his superb experience. I totally
forgot to check my phone. It was in my bag in the vibrate mode. Rachel texted me
-
8/9/2019 Amongst the woods in this darkness
24/42
24
10 text messages Oh gosh! If I tell her this shes gonna so totally freak out on me
saying he seriously has a crush on me. But I dont think he has, But in between all
this may be I've gone in to a serious crush on him. No baby, youve not gonna let
your heart melt so faster, you cant let yourself into this and you can do it.
You dont have a crush. Anyways, let me text Rachel now.
-
8/9/2019 Amongst the woods in this darkness
25/42
25
A NEW TURNING POINT NEVER EXPECTED
As soon as I texted Rachel she sent me a text saying that its urgent call me ASAP.
Then as I called her up,
Rachel: Hey! Guess what weve got our last semester result its open at college
now. It isnt given in the internet; youve got to check up the notice board it
seems. I dont know what my result is. I tried calling up rocky so he could be
giving us the result but I guess hes out with his friends, He isnt even lifting the
phone at all. I'm totally scared with the Economics score, because if I flunk I
cant show my face to my mom and dad, theyll definitely get angry on me.
Me: I cant be going out now, as its already late and you know mom is gonnafreak out on me, why not any other person might be at college, or else let me
try texting others in college, may be Neel or Lilly might have gone to college.
Rachel: Alright please try getting the result today I cant be waiting till
tomorrow. Babes wish me luck, Good Bye!
Me: Bye
Oh No! Not know. I dint want these results to come now, and if I get less marks ill
have to give up all other stuff and get stuck with the educational stuff. And its so
totally gonna ruin everything, let me 1st
text all the friends numbers in my phone
list if anyones in college now.
As I sent that many text messages thought at least one single person would be at
college and I got it right,
Neel: Hey! Babes, I'm in college right now. You neednt worry you passed off in
every subject.
Me: Oh! Thank god, great news. What about Rachel, Rocky and yours?
Neel: I'm the topper in the class, Rocky got flunk in 2 subjects and Rachels got
through all of them, even she passed.
-
8/9/2019 Amongst the woods in this darkness
26/42
-
8/9/2019 Amongst the woods in this darkness
27/42
27
Me: Aright ill get ready, let me go to college. Ill get ready and come down.
Ma: Alright, make it fast again youll make up that you wont be eating, Ill get
you a brunch.
Me: Ok, Ma!
What the Hell? Why did I wake up this late? What must have happened? Dont
know got to catch up with them at least in this afternoon.
As I got to college everybody was kinda in different moods because of those
results. I was kind of ok, I didnt mind much. After that sir announced that there
arent any classes in the afternoon I mustnt have come to college today. Then
Rachel started to say that she doesnt want to go to that stupid hostel, I was like
why wouldnt you come to my home, itll be fun.
Rachel: But it isnt like that, aunty wouldnt be there, we both sneaking into the
house. Looks kinda weird, plan something else babes
As she said that came Mr. Jay who always interrupts in between.
Jay: Hey! Would you like to come to my home, and we play a game or anything.Rocky said yes, you ladies are left to be coming, so what do you people say?
Me: Ah! But do we have to?
Rachel: We would love to be there is only rocky coming or did you invite
anybody else?
As Rachel said yes Ive got stuck. I should be going again, its alright.
As Rachel and Jay were talking I saw Neel in such a tense position. He was never
like that, I just tried to call him but he was so tensed and running off that he
didnt hear me. So we moved on to Jays Home.
I didnt know why somethings gone wrong with Neel, Why dont I try calling him
up on the phone?
-
8/9/2019 Amongst the woods in this darkness
28/42
28
As I called up Neel, He lifted the phone, and a shock.
Neel: Hey! I'm in hospital, bad news they couldnt save mom.
He said that and burst into tears. I asked him in which hospital and he told me.
We all rushed to the hospital, as soon as we could. I found Neel totally in tears
never saw him in that sorrowful weak condition, he wasnt able to control
himself. Its really tough to digest the fact that your mom isnt there for you. As he
saw me I dont know why he cried even more, he hugged me. He wasnt in normal
condition I couldnt control him that even I went in tears. And I called up mom
told her that Ill be coming late. After all that Jay was waiting for me, when rocky
and Rachel left. Jay and I were going home, he was driving bike. I didnt even
speak a word. Didnt know why I felt like hugging him. And as he was driving I
holded him tightly, I felt like crying didnt know why I did it but felt nice after that.
Dont know why what he would have taught of me? But its totally weird. Even
Neel catching like that and crying was kinda weird like I belonged to him. I felt he
was feeling me like that. Or it was just because of that close to me, and as he was
that emotionally down. Maybe its thats all, and me hugging Jay is also for that
kinda comfort which made me uncomfortable. I guess Im much attached to Jay.
As I reached home, he didnt speak anything to me. Whereas I told him to take my
bike and pick me up tomorrow, he just saw me weirdly that some kinda hormonesgot raised up in my body. He didnt say a word took my bike and went home. Ive
got to go inside.
Anyways its late now, I guess I better not think too much and sleep. Or else Ill go
mad, about all these stuff.
Whats it? I guess Ive got a text. My mobile just got buzzed. Where did I keep it?
Ha! Found it, well its from Jay. Oh boy! Why did he text me now?
Jay: Hey! Can I say something, why the hell did you hug me? I dont know what
kinda feelings these are but feel like I need you with me now. I just dont know
how you feel, or I dont know whether I should tell all these things with you or
not. But couldnt stay without telling you, I feel like I wanna share everything
with you, this doesnt mean I'm disturbing you.
-
8/9/2019 Amongst the woods in this darkness
29/42
29
After all this large text I didnt know what to reply, after thinking so much about
sending a text I finally texted him that,
Me: I dont really know what I should be telling you about my feelings. I dont
know if I need you. But didnt know why I wanted to tightly hug you, and thatmade me feel better today. But I didnt want this to happen. Ive got lot of
desires on my own life I dont want to let anyone change the track of this path
way in my life. But I guess Ive already fallen apart from that path way, but I
think I'm liking this which shouldnt be.
As I sent this text he didnt reply me. After all that I slept. And in the morning to
my amusement as I woke up got ready for college, I saw Jay eating breakfast in
the kitchen talking to Mom very affectionately, and mom laughing on some joke.
How could he come so fast? Well I guess I gotta interrupt that conversation.
Well, as I got down mom wanted me to eat breakfast, I guess she liked Jay.
Then as soon as I got down to the stair case, he didnt bring my scooty home. He
started saying,
Jay: Your pretty scooty is in my home, I couldnt bring both so thought that I
could take you till my home and then you would take yours. And I guess you
better stop giving me such angry looks.
Me: All right, I aint looking angry FYI.
Jay: Get on now.
As soon as I got on the bike felt like telling him that yesterday was all just a night
mare. And I dont love you buddy. Cause Ive got to many guys out there dying for
my single glance. I'm the super girl who cant even be called super because I'm
much better than that. I cant fix to somebody bloody Hunk and forget all my
other diehard fans waiting out there. Main kaha aur tu kaha.
But how should I start,
Jay: Hey! About yesterday forget all about it. Its all just crap, and all weird stuff.
You and I dont think its correct.
-
8/9/2019 Amongst the woods in this darkness
30/42
30
Me: Ah! Its fine you dont need to talk about that. I know its way too weird.
Jay: All right then.
Thank god, I didnt have to take much of the risk, he told it right away. Babes you
are a free bird and will be a free bird away from all those men.
Well Reached his home, got my scooty and back to my routine. He was just a pass
away dude though.
-
8/9/2019 Amongst the woods in this darkness
31/42
31
ANOTHER DAY, BUT SOME KINDA SORROW INSIDE
As soon as I reached college, everything seemed very normal. In classes really
missed Neel, Dont know felt really bad. He loves his mom so much. And its gonna
take so much time for him to get back to normal. The way he cried, he was in avery bad stage. All this day passed out thinking about him only. I better go to his
home today. May be he could feel better.
Me: Hey! Neel, how are you?
Neel: What to say, I really cant digest the fact.
Me: I know is tough, even I cant believe it. Aunty was so close to me; I just cant
say this word.
And that made me into tears, I didnt know I went to console him and I burst into
tears and the reverse process happened. Why god made weak hearts for women?
Really men are far stronger than us in emotional grounds though. Why am I
discussing this stuff now?
Like about two hours passed away talking to Neel and then I said I would be
leaving and I left. It crossed 8clock and the roads were too marooned. Dont
really know at night when strangers surround you then you get some kinda fear
inside you, but even if no one is around and you are all alone, even that fears you.
Really all these feelings are the game players and when some feelings go extreme
you get to the game over process. Actually thinking too much about some kinda
things so much also can cause hyper tension and you get into extreme thinking.
Hm! I think sometimes in these kinda situations also I go into some trauma and
get in more trouble. Theres nothing to fear of, believe me, no one can harm you.You are the best, (this isnt apt here). Whatever, ride your bike safe youll reach
home theres nothing to worry.
-
8/9/2019 Amongst the woods in this darkness
32/42
32
IT HAD TO HAPPEN
Well! Going on through the way and then suddenly, came across a turn. As I just
crossed it then didnt know from where such bright white light came which was a
thousand times brighter than the tube light, but unlike the sunlight it was reallypure white. Dont know where my scooty vanished away. Feeling like I'm standing
on a white paper. Totally white no other color anywhere. Cant even look at
myself, feels like only my eyes are present to see that white light and the rest of
my body is completely crystal clear. I'm really confused, what happened to me?
Whats going on? Help me! Can anyone tell me where the hell I'm lost?
Then after 24hrs my eyes opened out and then I came to know that because some
extreme light from a vehicle coming ahead my eyes got temporarily blinded and Ifell off on the road and where luckily a couple of my college guys whom I dont
know much were passing off the streets took me to the hospital called up my
mom and informed her. Mom was already into lots of tension that it was late and
started to partially sob and scold me cause of this little incident. I know if
something worse had happened, there can be either ways. Well after one whole
day missing out in white wash walls in my eyes I went home to my pink colored
mansion and had a great sleep once again.
The next day I woke up was at 8 in the morning, got to go to college already
skipped 2 days after those results hungama. As soon as I reached college and all
my friends were always early than me, cause mom warned me to get to my
scooty and I had to go in the mucky city bus which goes down the lane a total
tragedy. Well and my hair was totally messed up as I sat beside the fisherwoman
who was totally stinky that my hair attracts fast to all the smells out there. As I
entered the college I didnt want one person to get near me now as I totally
smelled like a dead fish, and that person is none other than shika rani. Ah! Boy it
all happened. May be every story should have these slimy, shiny girls with all
those glam and sham. Im not gonna be one among them. They say all men are
the same though they may seem nice, they naturally arent. So though I'm kind of
-
8/9/2019 Amongst the woods in this darkness
33/42
33
attracted towards him its not gonna workout anyway. Well! Gotta listen to this
miss college beauty or shes gonna think I'm gone mad that I'm talking to myself.
Arshika: Hey! What happened to you? Were you selling fishes? Didnt you get a
better part time job? If you needed one you must have asked me as I needed anassistant to clean up my room, then at least you would have the perfume of my
room freshener.
Me: Ah! Very well! Thank you. I think the smell of fishes is much better than
artificial room fresheners. And thank you so much for the offer, but I guess I
cant make it as I'm already filled up with many fishes to work.
Actually there wasnt only shika waiting for my reply, beside her in the corner
cross-eyed staring at me was Jay. He taught I wasnt observing him and he was
checking out the whole rap session. Of course, it was quite common for the whole
college about shika her beauty and her richest dad. So no one ever made her feel
bad as she had a lot of over confidence, but may be sometimes even that works
out good that you dont care upon anybodys words and they dont hurt you at all.
Unlike me, who thinks upon everybody in the world and get in to humiliation
which has become a born factor in me these days. I better get in to the rest room
as I'm really stinking badly that my own smell is making me puke. Rush!
Thank god I had an extra dress and my deo with me. As I changed and went back
to attend those classes, already Sir went inside the classroom I had to struggle to
get his attention and drop in. My place was left open out there but one there but
one thing which changed was I could see Neel far away and Jay in Neels place
which the chair beside me, not again. I dragged myself till there and settled down
where all these people stopped staring at me and turned towards the board. I was
absent mindedly thinking something not even paying a minimum attention to the
lecture out there.
The day just passed off so impetuously that I didnt know what I was doing the
whole day. In all these classes I dont know what happened, everything was so
mysterious mess. As the day got over and I had to leave in the bus again I just
-
8/9/2019 Amongst the woods in this darkness
34/42
34
wished good bye to Rachel and was thinking to move, when the J-man entered
into the scene.
Jay: Hey! Are you fine? I think you must have taken rest today, you look so
fragile and pathetic.
Pathetic, this wasnt supposed to be used. I swear I'm gonna sue you J-man.
Me: Nah! Its alright I'm very fine. That was just a bad accident and its just
gonna take a few hours more to become enthusiastic again.
Jay: Take care babes. I gotta meet you tomorrow remember weve got our
English project dated on this Monday. And tomorrow is Thursday. Hope you get
back to me after all this has got over. Good bye.
Me: Ya, I remember you know its been a hard time with all these circumstances
around me. Lets work out tomorrow, conform as its also a holiday. Ill let you
know at what time Ill be meeting you tomorrow. Till then just think of the story
and the characters again. Ill also focus on it.
Oh Boy. I totally forgot about that project. But why was Jay being so rude at me.
He never nagged at me like this. It was just a project and we would work it out
within no time, though he knew what all happened through all those days. Itseemed to perplexing to digest. And now I can see him far away on his bike al
alone going home. He even didnt think of dropping me home, as he knew I didnt
come on my bike today. Why am I caring about that now? He wasnt there in my
college before, and then I had no problem in going home all alone. Things change
people change, but I'm never gonna change.
I muttered to myself and ran towards an empty bus, I even didnt turn back to
check whether Rachel was looking at me or not.
-
8/9/2019 Amongst the woods in this darkness
35/42
35
ABSOLUTE TRAGEDY
Its Thursday morning already and I just had to call up Jay to make up for that
English project. But I didnt think of any story at all, he might have taught. Ive
gotta call him up and figure out whether he would come to my place or wherewould we get going with the work without any disturbances.
Me: Hey! Good Morning Jay.
Jay: Hey! I didnt think you would call me up this early, I taught you needed
much more time. So, do you think you are fit for getting involved into the
project?
Me: Yeah! Absolutely. Where do you want to do the project would you comeover to my place?
Jay: Actually Grandpas out of town for some kind of meeting. And he wont be
back till tomorrow, it would be nice if you would come here as its solitary and
we could concentrate more upon the project. What do you say?
Me: Well, then Ill come over. Meet you at sharp 9.
Jay: Ok, Will be waiting.
As soon as I cut the call I looked over the clock it was already 8o clock and I
seriously gotta hurry up. I even didnt brush, got to get up.
As I reached his home, that pleasant welcoming fragrance was flowing through as
it always flew whenever I admired of staying in such a house. As I entered the
gate everything was so calm that it scared me a little but the beauty made me
forget that feeling. Then I got through the entrance door, as I rung the bell a maid
came and opened the door. She pointed me towards Jays room. Then I walked
-
8/9/2019 Amongst the woods in this darkness
36/42
36
slowly through all the stairs and then as I got there the door was left open I
knocked it and called out his name but there wasnt any answer then I just went
two steps forward. Gasp for air as I was in his arms. He scared the hell out of me.
As soon as I got into his room he just showed up so close that I got scared and fell
down into his arms. He was in his shorts minus the t-shirt. Lovely, he was looking
damn hot than ever before. But I didnt feel that good like I felt before, because
my head was filled with a lot of disgust against him for yesterday. As he got me
straight and then open his super sexy lips to speak,
Jay: Did I scare you? I think you told me you got over with all that sickness, and
now you just stumbled into my arms. Great recovery babes, I appreciate you.
Me: You dont need to show me that much disgust, by the way its your entire
fault you scared me. And I'm totally fine, I didnt fall on purpose.
Jay: Chill! I know you didnt eat anything, aunty called me up just now. She
explained how you got ready to get here at time and what time you woke up.
First lets have breakfast and then well get to our main intention.
Me: Fine! Ill eat.
I told this and was cursing mom in a whispering voice. He heard me saying. He
gave me a devilish smile, I just liked that smile. Then the maid came upstairs and
told us to get to the dining hall.
As we moved there we sat side by side to each other, might be moms told him
that I love scrambled egg, a croissant and Florida orange juice for breakfast. And
this combi wasnt too frequent in my home. When I insisted mom too much she
would get me after many wars of breakfast at home. This was really astonishing.
Me: Hey! Did you know that I liked all these for breakfast, or was it like some
wild guess that it would be fine for me?
Jay: Well, to speak the truth I knew it before and I planned it yesterday night
itself. I taught you would come over for breakfast.
Me: But I didnt tell you that I would show up that early.
-
8/9/2019 Amongst the woods in this darkness
37/42
37
Jay: Ya, you didnt but I knew. You can think of it like a wild guess.
Me: Guess so.
As we mixed up this conversation, and emptied our glasses. Then we moved on,
he started,
Jay: Where would you like to start our project? How about my room? I can take
out the doors through the balcony it gives in all the sunlight, and itll be
comfortable too. What do you say?
Me: As you wish.
He just moved up towards his room, and then I dont know I felt so cozy that I
immediately jumped into his bed like a small sweet little kitten would jump into a
the soft sofa as soon as it finishes drinking its milk. Meanwhile, jay was opening
the curtains across the room to let the light get in. I was into such a comfortable
feeling which made me hover like a spike in that sponged cushion of his bed. He
just opened one curtain across, the room which let a very light ray of sun beam
into the room. Then he came towards me thinking that I slept as I closed my eyes,
he took over the blanket, covered me up. Then he closed even that curtain which
he opened before. As he moved away leaving me on that bed and then I could
hear his phone ringing, it was mom for sure. I could surely get it from the way he
was answering her.
Then I just couldnt open my eyes though I was conscious. He got on the bed
beside me, without moving the bed even a little. He was sitting on the bedcover
whose under I was sleeping, and he was beside me without any movement. His
presence beside me felt so overwhelming. Then I slowly tried to open my eyes,
and then I just moved a little bit closer to him, with my eyes half open I tried to
pull away the bedcover to get him into it. May be my attempt worked that he got
into the bedcover and then he got to my ear Are you awake? I just moaned,
which was a yes. He was in a very pleasing tone that it made me melt for him; He
asked me again You better take rest for some more time. Dont worry about the
project. I tried to open my voice but I dont know why I couldnt speak a word in
return. There was some kind of feeling that didnt let me talk; instead it made me
-
8/9/2019 Amongst the woods in this darkness
38/42
38
go even closer around him and which made me pull him too close on that sponge
cushion bed under that bedcover. As I did that I could hear his breath very clearly
in my ear. And I could feel his lips wanting to tell me something which wasnt
getting out. I didnt know how it happened why it happened, but then it had
happened.
He kissed me on my ear, which sounded like the best music Ive ever heard. And
then he kept on breathing vigorously that I could hear my heartbeat to that sound
of his breath making a tune that never ever existed. That sound lasted for a few
seconds after which he moved away trying to go, I could know his breath getting
less through my ears, pacing down.
To my astonishment when my eyes got open completely wide, I could find him in
the corner of the room in his chair writing. Was that all just a delusion? Was he
really that far away? Might be true, he wouldnt land in that close to me. And that
one curtain is still open and the others are closed. So it was all just my dream. So
fantastically lay. Whatever, but dont know why I cant get myself to get out of the
bed. As he saw me struggling in myself to get up, he came near me.
Me: Whats the time now?
Jay: Its 11oclock.
Me: Did I sleep two whole hours? I didnt know how I just got unconscious.
Jay: Its alright. I got the story done; you got to make your dialogues to fit in and
memorize nothing much. If you want me write your dialogues and you would
easily get them, Ill do that also. If you wanna take some more rest go ahead.
You dont seem that good; would you like to have some milk or anything else?
Me: Nah! I'm fine. I can do my dialogues, you neednt do that also. Will you
come a little closer so that I could just check out the story without getting off
the bed?
Jay: Yeah! Sure.
As I said this he moved closer to me, got up to the bed sat beside me. I got up
from the bed cover, folded it towards the upper side and moved closer, leaning a
-
8/9/2019 Amongst the woods in this darkness
39/42
39
little bit closer to his shoulder and I was looking into the rough draft of the story
he had written. He was so indulged into the story that he even didnt feel that I
was too close to him. This wasnt a dream now, I know it. As he was going on
telling me the story, and I almost pretended like I was listening to him though I
didnt. His voice so tenderly curving through the air which made my hair shove.
That it was like some fairy tale with some magical spell which made me listen
totally indulged into such fabulous feelings. May be they say its all the magic of
your special age combined by your true souls of spirits which lead you into an
enthusiastic journey of mating. I'm sounding like some animalism, having their
stages of life. Yuck! I totally suck. It rhymed but very oddly. I dont know why
again I'm feeling dizzy, like in matter of no seconds I landed onto his shoulder. He
stopped reading like a sudden tremor landed over him. He looked at me, Ive
already closed my eyes, he just tried to move a little bit, I didnt know why I did it
but I caught hold of him till the other side. He had a small snigger at me as soon as
he found me catching him tightly. He gently kissed my forehead and slowly
whispered to my ear.
Jay: Hey! What happened? Is anything wrong?
I answered still with my eyes closed arms wound around his waist.
Me: Jus say still I dont want you to move, just stay beside me.
Jay: Alright, anything if you persist so.
Me: Do you like me?
Jay: Why are you asking me that question now?
Me: Answer me, I need to know. You dont know what kinds of feelings are
arousing in me. You skip away everything, making me feel all these weird stuff.
You never show up, but instead make me jealous, cover me in disgust. You walk
away so easily without even looking.ba.ck
As I was going on talking I dont really know he just pulled up my face turned
towards me, smacked up directly into my lips which made my eyes shutter for
some moments. He was just like some blood sucking parasite, sucking my lips
-
8/9/2019 Amongst the woods in this darkness
40/42
40
pulling them adroitly. The way they moved through mine was just like some
magical spell changing each other. He moved his hands through my hair very
softly like he was feeling all the velvetiness in my tresses. The way he moved in
every move it just felt so frivolously relieving me all the pain felt in all these days. I
dont know I didnt want to leave his lips away, but as I gasped for air I had to
back down, and landed back to his shoulder. I could hear his heart beat robustly
against mine, and the way his breath landed into my ears at a very pleasing sound
which depicted all that he wanted to say is I want you. He was kissing those nerve
points on my neck which wanted his lips so desperately. I didnt know why but I
just couldnt stop my hands from pulling him even closer to me. We were so
indulged in that magic that we didnt know weve gone too far. But then there
was a sudden withdraw in his arms refluxing away to get to the reality from our
extreme magical fantasy, he just moved a bit far and got down of the bed. I just
lay down flatly still with that extreme moves felt by every nerve of my body which
reached till my heart. He came near to me once again and began to speak after all
his heart beat sound paced down.
Jay: I need to say something. This doesnt mean that I regret for what all Ive
done now. I love you. And I want you so badly, I know even you feel the same.
And maybe we didnt know what we were doing till now, and I know Ive
exceeded too much without telling you what I feel about you. I dont know
anything about you; I never knew what youve planned about your future. Ive
never told mine either. I'm in a confused state that we dont end up our love in
just few days of attraction; I feel strongly now that I need you, and I want you
with me. I know youve got different desires and ambitions I'm never gonna
divert you from those. Apart from that about my life I would like you to know
some more things, and its up to you to decide that you could stand my attitude
forever.
He broke into a small giggle, as soon as he completed these words he moved a
little bit closer such that his face was touch my hair, me situated below him. But
one strange thing is that how did he know that I had my whole life on one Desire,
the one and only ambition which I never revealed to anyone. But how did he
know that. Is he something else than human that he knows all my thoughts
-
8/9/2019 Amongst the woods in this darkness
41/42
41
before I told him, Skeptical. He was carefully observing me on what I was thinking
so that now I began to open my twitched lips.
Me: Every time I think about you, you explode up in a very peculiar way. You
know all the words which Ive never told you at all. At the starting when you gotinto this college I always thought if there was a way to ignore you, even the way
you look at me made me feel some kind of burn inside. You acted like you new
everything about me, like you were the one unimagined change which is gonna
turn everything upside down. But that doesnt mean that I'm feeling bad that
you came in my life. But you even mentioned about my desires, how did you
know about that? Really you are the weirdest of all these guys. Like youve got
some magic magnet attraction which gets me towards you always. You are
totally I-n-s-a-n-e.
As I spoke this word I had to speak in that absolute lip smacking directly towards
my lip. He was so indulged in caring me the way he holded my back, my neck line
towards my cheeks in between my bow shaped lips. The passion burning in us
was different from the entire world, which didnt seem like any other romantic
film Ive watched, though its true that films arent reality. But its really strange;
our kiss was something very different, unlike all the people in love had this kind of
magnetic field around like I had for him. For that one drop of care he dropped inme made me feel like Im the only one. And jus dying in such care was the best
among all, is what I felt. He left my lips to let me breathe and knowing that my
fragile lips were already swollen for the tiniest pressure on them, even after all
those care on them, he shifted towards my neck curves, feeling every nerve which
created a tingling effect throughout. Then I just turned my back towards him
ignoring him and began to speak again.
Me: Do you think its right? Enough J. I gotta go.
Jay: Not too early baby. Dont let go. I know you wanna stay.
Jay: Alright I'm out of it, I swear I wont touch you again, lets finish this baby
please.
-
8/9/2019 Amongst the woods in this darkness
42/42
42
Me: Alright, I'm staying but just to finish off this English project because I dont
wanna get an F grade for sure.
Jay: Ok baby lets get in now. I meant in that story.
As soon as we started to read out the outline of the story,