100 days of awesome season 3, episode 1

Hello! Welcome back to 100 Days of Awesome, everyone’s favorite reality show starring manipulated pictures of pixel people.

Reality shows usually don’t have elaborate recaps, and there’s no need for refreshers this time, so let’s just dive right in.

ANASTASIA: You’re sure? You really want me to stick my head in that? I don’t know. It doesn’t seem safe.

ANASTASIA: Is it supposed to burn my scalp like this? And smell like smoke? Smoke and – (sniffs) smoke and cheese.

ANASTASIA: Okay, so that’s the first part of today’s task done – I can now talk about grilled cheese. Now I just have to find some sucker I never met before to have a nice long conversation about it with. (bellows) BREAKFAST!

PONG (V.O.): There’s no way around it, I suppose.

MELANIE: I have a friend who will talk to you about grilled cheese, Aunt Anastasia.ANASTASIA: Do you?MELANIE: Uh-huh. He’s really nice. He’ll talk to anyone about anything.

PONG (V.O.): Melanie’s been begging to be a part of the show for a long time now, and she’s the only one who has the connections. She said she wouldn’t make the call unless she could be on TV.

MELANIE: Hi, Deadeye! Can you come over today?

PONG (V.O.): But you can’t show her face. That’s non-negotiable.

MELANIE: Will you talk to my aunt for a little bit? It’s for TV.DEADEYE: Sure, okay.

ANASTASIA: …And that’s why I love cheddar.DEADEYE: You know, that’s a really good point, especially about how perfectly it goes with tomato soup. Now, what beverage would you pair with cheddar and tomato soup?

ANASTASIA (V.O.): Did you get a good shot of my relationship panel? That should prove I never met the kid before today.

ANASTASIA (V.O.): He’s not a bad kid, though. I approve of him.

REBECCA (V.O.): The community lot task for today was to have a Dream Date With A Spouse. That pretty well makes it our job.PONG (V.O.): Since nobody else is married.REBECCA (V.O.): So we went out to dinner.

REBECCA (V.O.): And then we went dancing.PONG (V.O.): But not the kind of dancing the young people were doing.REBECCA (V.O.): They weren’t all young, dear. There was that one vampire.PONG (V.O.): He was a vampire? How could you tell?

Note from esmeiolanthe: Does anyone have any idea why my vampire doesn’t have a vampire overlay?

PONG (V.O.): Anyway, we danced much more sedately than they did.

REBECCA (V.O.): Yes, we got our vigorous exercise a different way.

PONG and REBECCA (V.O.): (wild giggles)

PONG (V.O.): So yeah, the date went pretty well.

REBECCA: Today’s community lot task was “Rally Forth!” Again. We were physically incapable of doing that three days ago, and we’re physically incapable of doing it today, so let’s sit down and brainstorm what we can do to improve our chances of completing our tasks.

PONG: Well, there’s tasks where you have to max a skill, or multiple skills. Or get gold badges.REBECCA: So that’s a thing we can do on days like today, where the tasks are either super easy or impossibly hard: study things and craft things.PONG: And grow things. That builds a badge too, and if you get good enough, you get eggplants. Eggplants get you skills. Everybody knows that.

REBECCA: And until we get that good, we can just buy eggplants. Great. Okay, what about tasks that require a child? Teach a child to study, teach a toddler a skill, thinks like that.ANASTASIA: Well, who says it has to be our kid? We’ll just borrow one. PONG (dubiously): Borrow one?

ANASTASIA: Sure. Look, I love Allyn, but she’s weird as bleep. She’s planning on having a ton of kids anyway, so what’s wrong with asking her to bring one over every now and again for a homework session or whatever? We just have to stay on good terms with her, and maybe have some of that radioactive milk handy. And there’s always Georgy and that guy she’s dating, and Mel.

PONG: That’s kids, then. What about business-type tasks, like “Rally Forth!”? We could open a shop, maybe?ANASTASIA: Win.PONG: You think that’s a good idea?ANASTASIA: No, it’s stupid. Win’s going to open some sort of business anyway. Just let her learn how to do those things, and then she can teach us. We’ll give her some money or something, make it worth her while.

REBECCA (V.O.): Okay. So some of the rest of these… We’re going to need more friends, and we can’t all have the same ones either.PONG (V.O.): I can work on that today, while I wear the Social Glasses that we’re supposed to wear. That’ll complete our task and boost relationships. Two birds with one stone.

PONG: Now all we need is to find a way to deal with the individual outliers, like – ANASTASIA: Hey, y’all go ahead and “outlier” all you want. This is getting boring, and I’m out.

REBECCA (V.O.): Today’s home task was “Have Dream Date With A Spouse.” Of course we were able to handle it.PONG (V.O.): We’re getting pretty good at Dream Dates.REBECCA (V.O.): (giggles)

ANASTASIA (V.O.): So I’m supposed to make out with a vampire on a community lot today. Normally, I’d resent that, but since it’s actually on my bucket list, I don’t mind so much.

ANASTASIA (V.O.): Pong and Rebecca said they saw a vampire on their last date, so I decided I’d start by retracing their steps. But of course the vampire didn’t show back up.

ANASTASIA (V.O.): So then I tried the Tacky Flamingo, because it’s common knowledge that vampires love bowling, plus the owner used to be a vampire.* But I guess they don’t like bowling in the rain.

*See Ruth’s (un)Officially Wacky Boolprop Challenge.

ANASTASIA (V.O.): So then I went to the laundromat, since vampires have to clean those capes somewhere, but by the time I got there it was morning, so I went home.

PONG: Do you think we can manage things?ANASTASIA: Yeah, we got this.

ScoreObjectives accomplished on the home lot: 3Objective accomplished on a community lot: 1Total points: 4Total points from last time: 34GRAND TOTAL: 38

Days played: 39 out of 100