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PUBLISHED AND DISTRIBUTED WEEKLY BY PASSTIMES OF ARIZONA, LLC - PASSTIMESAZ@LIVE.COM - 480.983.9143
Vol. 19 Issue 03 All Rights Reserved © 2021
FIRE! A lady at a gas station was filling up her gas tank She was-
n't paying attention to what she was doing. She put too much
in and it gushed out all over her arm. About the same time,
to the amazement of those around her, she lit up a cigarette.
They watched in horror as her arm caught on fire! They
began honking and tried to get her to pull over but
she wouldn't. Instead, she stuck her arm out the
window and was waving it wildly trying to
put the fire out.
Luckily, a policeman raced up with his lights
and siren blaring, and pulled her over.
She stopped and the cop raced to her
and helped her put her arm fire out. Then he
gave her a ticket….for illegal use of a fire arm.
BARBEQUE GAFFE As the coals from the barbecue burned down, the hosts
passed out marshmallows and long roasting forks. Just then,
two fire trucks roared by, sirens blaring, lights flash-
ing. They stopped at a house right down the block.
All twelve of the people raced out of the back
yard, down the street, where they found the
owners of the blazing house standing by
helplessly. They glared at the newcomers
with looks of disgust.
Why? They were all still holding the
roasting forks with marshmallows on
them.
DUELING IS LEGAL IN PARAGUAY AS LONG AS BOTH PARTIES ARE REGISTERED BLOOD DONORS
LOVE BINDS EVERYTHING TOGETHER IN PERFECT HARMONY
CALCULATING Three men all applied for the job of shipping clerk at a new
manufacturing plant. They were completing a verbal test. The
first was asked, "What is three times
three?"
The man pondered the query for
a couple of moments before blurting
out, "Easy, 116." The test representa-
tive told him he was wrong.
Then the interviewer asked the same
question of the second man. The man
bowed his head and went into deep
thought before replying, "Well,
that's Tuesday."
Again, the test representative told him he was
wrong.
The tester was about at his wit’s end when he turned
to the last man and asked, "Do you know what
three times three is?"
The man smiled and answered
easily, “Sure, that's nine."
The tester then asked, "Fine, fine,
but how did you figure it out?"
The guy replied, "I just divided 116 into Tues-
day, that's all."
THERE IS NOTHING SO UNCERTAIN AS A SURE THING
LET THE PEACE OF CHRIST RULE IN YOUR HEARTS - COLOSSIANS 3:15
THOSE WITH FEW VICES HAVE FEW VIRTUES
BY THE TIME YOU'RE 80 YEARS OLD YOU'VE LEARNED EVERYTHING. YOU ONLY HAVE TO REMEMBER IT
BLESSED IS THE ONE WHO IS NOT OFFENDED BY ME - MATTHEW 11:6
LET NOT YOUR HEARTS BE TROUBLED - JOHN 14:27
WHITE OUT WAS INVENTED BY THE MOTHER OF MIKE NESMITH (FORMERLY OF THE MONKEES)
THERE IS NOTHING NEW UNDER THE SUN - ECCLESIASTES 1:9
1. U.S. PRESIDENTS: The poem "O Captain! My Cap-
tain!" was written after the death of which president?
2. GENERAL KNOWLEDGE: What is the weight of a
U.S. quarter?
3. MOVIES: What was the name of the skyscraper in
the drama "Die Hard"?
4. TELEVISION: What city was the setting for the sit-
com "Mork and Mindy"?
5. SCIENCE: What is the study of knowledge, reality
and existence called?
6. ANIMAL KINGDOM: What are male blue crabs
called?
7. GEOGRAPHY: What is the highest point in Japan?
8. FOOD & DRINK: The acai berry is native to which
continent?
9. LITERATURE: Who wrote the "Winnie-the-Pooh"
book series for children?
10. MEASUREMENTS: What is an angstrom?
Answers
1. Abraham Lincoln
2. 0.2 ounces
3. Nakatomi Plaza
4. Boulder, Colorado
5. Philosophy
6. Jimmies
7. Mount Fuji
8. South America
9. A.A. Milne
10. One ten-billionth of a meter,
used to measure very small dis-
tances
(c) 2021 King Features Synd.,
Inc.
IF YOU LIMIT YOUR ACTIONS IN LIFE TO THINGS THAT NOBODY CAN POSSIBLY FIND FAULT WITH, YOU WILL NOT DO MUCH
AS I LIVE, SAYS THE LORD, EVERY KNEE SHALL BOW TO ME, AND EVERY TONGUE SHALL CONFESS TO GOD - ROMANS 14:11
RIGHT OR WRONG, THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT
IT IS A TERRIBLE THING TO LOOK OVER YOUR SHOULDER WHEN YOU ARE TRYING TO LEAD -- AND FIND NO ONE THERE
* On Earth you need heat to fuse metal, but in space, due to
the lack of atmosphere, two pieces of the same kind of metal
will fuse together with just a little pressure in
a process called cold welding.
* The average person will grow 590
miles of hair in their lifetime. Nose
hairs alone contribute 6.5 feet of
that.
* Digging a hole to China is possi-
ble if you start in Argentina.
* While adult giraffes usually sleep standing up, their off-
spring get more comfortable by hunkering down on the
ground and taking advantage of their extra-flexible necks,
twisting around to plop their heads on their own posteriors.
* The U.S. government gave Indiana University $1 million to
study memes.
* Caffeine, which is found in tea leaves, guarana berries, kola
nuts and, of course, coffee beans, acts as a natural pesticide. It
overloads the nervous systems of insects that try to eat the
plants containing it, paralyzing and even killing them before
they can do too much damage.
* Can't get your kids to eat their carrots and broccoli? Perhaps
they suffer from lachanophobia, otherwise known as the fear
of vegetables.
* Hurricanes release the energy of 10,000 nuclear bombs.
* Harry Truman was the first president to celebrate Hanukkah
in the White House. In 1951, he accepted a menorah from
David Ben Gurion, the prime minister of Israel.
* Charles Dickens believed that sleeping facing north would
improve his writing.
* Finland was the first nation to experiment with autonomous
vehicles in urban conditions. The country's laws don't oblige
drivers to be inside the vehicle.
* Liquids can boil and freeze at the
same time.
Thought for the Day: "When you do
the common things in life in an un-
common way, you will command the
attention of the world." -- George
Washington Carver
(c) 2020 King Features Synd., Inc.
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